1 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:10,914 Speaker 1: You're listening to a mom and mea podcast. 2 00:00:21,194 --> 00:00:24,714 Speaker 2: Welcome to Parenting out Loud, the thinky podcast for parents 3 00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:26,554 Speaker 2: who think that's my new tagline. 4 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:27,114 Speaker 3: Do you like it? 5 00:00:27,434 --> 00:00:31,314 Speaker 1: Love it? That's us right yeah, deep deep thinkers. We 6 00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:34,954 Speaker 1: definitely didn't talk about Barts last week. Absolutely not. 7 00:00:35,314 --> 00:00:39,034 Speaker 2: We bring you trends, culture and the reasons why parenting 8 00:00:39,193 --> 00:00:43,074 Speaker 2: feels so intense right now. It's not just you, there's 9 00:00:43,074 --> 00:00:44,033 Speaker 2: other stuff going on. 10 00:00:44,114 --> 00:00:44,834 Speaker 3: I like that. 11 00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:48,514 Speaker 2: That's what we're here to unpack, right, thank you. I'm 12 00:00:48,513 --> 00:00:51,993 Speaker 2: back from my Unleashed sabbatical. My name's Monique Bowleie, so 13 00:00:52,034 --> 00:00:54,354 Speaker 2: happy to be back. Are you leashed or I'm still 14 00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:56,754 Speaker 2: leashed to Unleashed which is a new podcast that mom 15 00:00:56,794 --> 00:00:58,594 Speaker 2: and me are working on, which is a ton of fun. 16 00:00:59,194 --> 00:01:01,794 Speaker 2: But I thought Clare Stevens was great last week. Yeah, 17 00:01:01,874 --> 00:01:04,274 Speaker 2: I was like, shit, I'm scared for my job now. 18 00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:08,074 Speaker 1: Well, I'm Amelia Last and I'm Stacy Hicks and we're 19 00:01:08,074 --> 00:01:09,354 Speaker 1: happy to have you back once. 20 00:01:09,794 --> 00:01:10,154 Speaker 3: Thanks. 21 00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:12,314 Speaker 2: So what is everyone talking about this week? Let's hit it. 22 00:01:12,554 --> 00:01:15,994 Speaker 1: Gg Headded is having a tooth fairy issue, and for 23 00:01:16,074 --> 00:01:18,474 Speaker 1: once in your life, you might find yourself relating to 24 00:01:18,554 --> 00:01:20,994 Speaker 1: her and dads who actually show up for their kids. 25 00:01:20,994 --> 00:01:23,434 Speaker 4: Well that sounds great, right, except a lot of people 26 00:01:23,514 --> 00:01:24,954 Speaker 4: on the internet have a problem with it. 27 00:01:25,234 --> 00:01:29,714 Speaker 2: A Facebook page, a kid's photo. I have a very 28 00:01:30,314 --> 00:01:33,754 Speaker 2: modern dilemma where respectfully, we're going to disagree. 29 00:01:33,914 --> 00:01:37,394 Speaker 1: But first, I saw a headline this week that grabbed me, 30 00:01:37,594 --> 00:01:41,034 Speaker 1: and it was the people who don't need eight hours sleep. 31 00:01:41,154 --> 00:01:42,994 Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why this got me because I'm 32 00:01:42,994 --> 00:01:45,674 Speaker 1: someone who does need eight hours sleep but rarely ever 33 00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:49,074 Speaker 1: gets it. So I wanted to steal these people's knowledge, 34 00:01:49,114 --> 00:01:51,274 Speaker 1: what they're doing, how they're making this work for them. 35 00:01:51,674 --> 00:01:54,954 Speaker 1: But it turns out there's a genetic variation that's linked 36 00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:57,874 Speaker 1: to needing less sleep. So there are some people out 37 00:01:57,874 --> 00:02:01,634 Speaker 1: there just roaming around that can exist on less than 38 00:02:01,674 --> 00:02:04,394 Speaker 1: four hours a night, every night, and it has no 39 00:02:04,634 --> 00:02:07,474 Speaker 1: adverse reaction. So this is not people who were like, 40 00:02:07,874 --> 00:02:10,114 Speaker 1: have got insomnia and then a bleary eye the next day. 41 00:02:10,194 --> 00:02:13,714 Speaker 1: This is people who genuinely can function and be absolutely fine. 42 00:02:13,874 --> 00:02:16,474 Speaker 1: And The New Yorker spoke to this woman, Joanne Oddsman, 43 00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:19,994 Speaker 1: and she sleeps no more than four hours, never has 44 00:02:20,114 --> 00:02:22,434 Speaker 1: her entire life. And when she was a kid, her 45 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,874 Speaker 1: parents just used to have to say, you just need 46 00:02:24,914 --> 00:02:26,954 Speaker 1: to be in your room for those hours. You don't 47 00:02:26,994 --> 00:02:28,474 Speaker 1: need to be asleep, you need to be in your room. 48 00:02:28,914 --> 00:02:31,874 Speaker 1: And she's been conscious. They did the math about thirteen 49 00:02:31,994 --> 00:02:34,594 Speaker 1: years more than everyone else her age. 50 00:02:34,674 --> 00:02:40,034 Speaker 4: I once interviewed a very successful businessman and he told 51 00:02:40,114 --> 00:02:41,914 Speaker 4: me that he was one of these people who only 52 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:45,954 Speaker 4: needs four hours. And he recounted how his mother was 53 00:02:46,034 --> 00:02:48,674 Speaker 4: so supportive of this when he was a child, and 54 00:02:48,714 --> 00:02:51,154 Speaker 4: she'd be like, it's fine, you can just sleep four hours, 55 00:02:51,194 --> 00:02:53,114 Speaker 4: but you just have to stay in bed and read books. 56 00:02:53,314 --> 00:02:56,474 Speaker 4: And so he basically ended up reading the entire eve 57 00:02:56,634 --> 00:03:00,074 Speaker 4: of children's literature before he turned eighteen. And now he's 58 00:03:00,394 --> 00:03:01,834 Speaker 4: a very successful businessman. 59 00:03:01,954 --> 00:03:04,754 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. You could do so much of that time. 60 00:03:04,914 --> 00:03:08,794 Speaker 2: The product is it's it's crazy. I know someone that 61 00:03:08,874 --> 00:03:11,834 Speaker 2: had this. One of my basketball coaches had this exact thing, 62 00:03:11,914 --> 00:03:13,834 Speaker 2: and it is a really rare condition. So don't be 63 00:03:13,874 --> 00:03:16,154 Speaker 2: listening to this thinking oh, maybe that's me. Like it's 64 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:20,394 Speaker 2: like one percent of the population have this specific genetic abnormality. Right, 65 00:03:21,474 --> 00:03:24,794 Speaker 2: she was so productive. But when I read this article, 66 00:03:24,874 --> 00:03:26,274 Speaker 2: I was like, how long is it going to take 67 00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:31,514 Speaker 2: for some pharmaceutical company to monetize this turn? It into 68 00:03:31,594 --> 00:03:35,514 Speaker 2: a pill because productivity is just like what everyone wants now, right, But. 69 00:03:35,594 --> 00:03:39,434 Speaker 4: I don't know, because I wonder how lonely it would be, 70 00:03:39,434 --> 00:03:41,954 Speaker 4: because those like early hours of the morning that these 71 00:03:41,954 --> 00:03:45,354 Speaker 4: people are presumably awake for, there's no one else awake 72 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,674 Speaker 4: at that time, And I just wonder if you wouldn't 73 00:03:47,674 --> 00:03:48,834 Speaker 4: get a little bit lonely. 74 00:03:49,274 --> 00:03:52,114 Speaker 1: I think i'd just finished Netflix, like I just watched 75 00:03:52,114 --> 00:03:54,834 Speaker 1: You Get to I would completely waste it. It would 76 00:03:54,874 --> 00:03:55,954 Speaker 1: not be productive for me. 77 00:03:56,394 --> 00:03:58,914 Speaker 2: I'd massively waste it. I wouldn't be reading children's that share, 78 00:03:58,954 --> 00:04:01,794 Speaker 2: I wouldn't be studying. I'd just been cleaning my house. Actually, No. 79 00:04:02,354 --> 00:04:04,634 Speaker 4: My final thought on this is that I think it's 80 00:04:04,674 --> 00:04:08,954 Speaker 4: really impressive that said successful businessman's mother sort of accommodated 81 00:04:08,994 --> 00:04:10,034 Speaker 4: his needs in that. 82 00:04:10,034 --> 00:04:12,754 Speaker 1: Way, because it's so easy as. 83 00:04:12,714 --> 00:04:15,914 Speaker 4: Parents to get really impatient about telling a child to 84 00:04:15,914 --> 00:04:18,674 Speaker 4: get to sleep and explaining to them it's metabolic necessity 85 00:04:18,674 --> 00:04:19,674 Speaker 4: that they sleep. 86 00:04:19,474 --> 00:04:20,474 Speaker 3: Ten hours or whatever. 87 00:04:20,993 --> 00:04:24,034 Speaker 4: And I just think what a great mum she was 88 00:04:24,154 --> 00:04:27,553 Speaker 4: for understanding that that was truly not what he needed 89 00:04:27,594 --> 00:04:29,394 Speaker 4: and that sleep is not one size fits all. 90 00:04:29,553 --> 00:04:32,954 Speaker 2: Yeahh okay, let's get into some meaty conversation, please, that's 91 00:04:32,993 --> 00:04:34,674 Speaker 2: what I'm here for. I'm ready for it. 92 00:04:34,753 --> 00:04:35,513 Speaker 3: I have something. 93 00:04:35,873 --> 00:04:36,553 Speaker 2: Oh please. 94 00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:39,714 Speaker 4: Rose Byrne is on a real career high right now, 95 00:04:39,794 --> 00:04:41,954 Speaker 4: and she just won a Golden Globe for her role 96 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,513 Speaker 4: as a mother to a chronically ill child in the 97 00:04:44,513 --> 00:04:47,193 Speaker 4: film If I Had Legs, I'd kick you now. That's 98 00:04:47,274 --> 00:04:49,234 Speaker 4: available online. Have either of you seen it? 99 00:04:49,313 --> 00:04:49,513 Speaker 2: Yeah? 100 00:04:49,633 --> 00:04:52,074 Speaker 1: No, But it's the best movie title I think I've ever. 101 00:04:51,914 --> 00:04:54,914 Speaker 2: Heard, is I have not? But it's another one of 102 00:04:54,953 --> 00:04:56,994 Speaker 2: those movies. There's a bit of a trench of them 103 00:04:56,993 --> 00:04:59,313 Speaker 2: at the moment where it's sort of like feral Mother, 104 00:04:59,594 --> 00:05:00,914 Speaker 2: Mother goes feral, right. 105 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,193 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's in that vein. It sounds like a little 106 00:05:03,193 --> 00:05:05,714 Speaker 4: bit of a hard watch. Although Conan O'Brien is her 107 00:05:05,714 --> 00:05:08,313 Speaker 4: therapist in it, and I of Codin O'Brien and I 108 00:05:08,354 --> 00:05:08,753 Speaker 4: really want to. 109 00:05:08,753 --> 00:05:10,074 Speaker 1: See him play a therapist. 110 00:05:10,354 --> 00:05:12,034 Speaker 4: She is a favorite to go on to win an 111 00:05:12,073 --> 00:05:15,154 Speaker 4: Oscar for this role, so she is really kicking all 112 00:05:15,193 --> 00:05:19,033 Speaker 4: her career goals. But meanwhile, her elderly boyfriend Bobby Canavalle, 113 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:22,234 Speaker 4: so he's also an actor. They're not married, and that's 114 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,393 Speaker 4: a nod to Holly Wainwright and the fact that she 115 00:05:24,553 --> 00:05:27,714 Speaker 4: and her elderly boyfriend are also not married. Bobby has 116 00:05:27,753 --> 00:05:31,594 Speaker 4: been facing a lot of intense backlash right now for parenting. 117 00:05:31,794 --> 00:05:34,873 Speaker 4: Let me explain. So Rose gave a Golden Globe speech 118 00:05:34,953 --> 00:05:36,914 Speaker 4: when she won that turned out to be a little 119 00:05:36,914 --> 00:05:40,234 Speaker 4: bit controversial, and here she is giving us speech and 120 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:42,794 Speaker 4: then talking about the reaction to the Sydney Morning Harold, 121 00:05:43,073 --> 00:05:43,553 Speaker 4: I want. 122 00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:46,113 Speaker 5: To thank my husband, Bobby kind of Bali Hoover, who 123 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:49,474 Speaker 5: couldn't be here because he's some We're getting a bit 124 00:05:49,513 --> 00:05:51,834 Speaker 5: of dragon and he went to a reptile expoe. 125 00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:52,034 Speaker 1: In New Jersey. 126 00:05:52,154 --> 00:05:55,393 Speaker 5: Oh my god, I've learnt my lesson. Never in my 127 00:05:55,474 --> 00:05:58,873 Speaker 5: life will I announce something like obviously I was in 128 00:05:58,914 --> 00:06:02,953 Speaker 5: a state of shock and I but I've been getting 129 00:06:03,073 --> 00:06:05,953 Speaker 5: a given plenty of unsolicited advice. But that's my own, 130 00:06:05,953 --> 00:06:08,113 Speaker 5: it's my own fault, it's my own. So I learned 131 00:06:08,113 --> 00:06:08,753 Speaker 5: a good lesson. 132 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:12,153 Speaker 4: So basically, one of their two children, we don't know 133 00:06:12,193 --> 00:06:13,873 Speaker 4: which one. They've got a ten year old and an 134 00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:18,073 Speaker 4: eight year old is obsessed with reptiles, which hashtag relatable. 135 00:06:18,393 --> 00:06:20,513 Speaker 4: And there was a reptile expo that was on the 136 00:06:20,553 --> 00:06:22,513 Speaker 4: same day as the Golden Globes. 137 00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:24,194 Speaker 1: Rose and Bobby talked about. 138 00:06:23,953 --> 00:06:26,754 Speaker 3: It, and they agreed that he would. 139 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:29,354 Speaker 4: Go to the Reptile Expo with their kid to pick 140 00:06:29,393 --> 00:06:31,713 Speaker 4: up a bit of dragon as they had promised the kid, 141 00:06:32,034 --> 00:06:34,713 Speaker 4: and then Rose would go to the Golden Globes and 142 00:06:34,873 --> 00:06:38,073 Speaker 4: kick her career goal. That sounds great to me, but 143 00:06:38,154 --> 00:06:40,954 Speaker 4: the backlash to this speech was intense. And that's what 144 00:06:41,073 --> 00:06:43,034 Speaker 4: Rose is referring to when in that clip she talks 145 00:06:43,034 --> 00:06:45,754 Speaker 4: about getting a lot of unsolicited advice. People told her 146 00:06:45,834 --> 00:06:49,393 Speaker 4: to leave him, People said that he did not support 147 00:06:49,433 --> 00:06:52,474 Speaker 4: his successful wife, and there was a lot of very 148 00:06:52,553 --> 00:06:55,794 Speaker 4: sort of nasty gossip that the couple's relationship was on 149 00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:58,273 Speaker 4: the rocks, all because he had to go to the 150 00:06:58,313 --> 00:06:59,194 Speaker 4: Reptile Expo. 151 00:06:59,313 --> 00:07:02,034 Speaker 1: That's it. Everyone was saying the subtle sign that they're 152 00:07:02,393 --> 00:07:05,474 Speaker 1: they're headed for the end. Yes, he's helping he's kid. 153 00:07:05,914 --> 00:07:07,954 Speaker 2: Was anyone saying what a great dad? 154 00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:11,834 Speaker 4: Not really, No, no, not really okay, And by the way, 155 00:07:11,874 --> 00:07:15,114 Speaker 4: apparently the beard Dragon is settling in very well at home. 156 00:07:15,314 --> 00:07:17,033 Speaker 3: Not anyone who is wondering the update. 157 00:07:17,074 --> 00:07:19,514 Speaker 1: We all need it. But this was really. 158 00:07:19,234 --> 00:07:21,714 Speaker 4: Fascinating to me because can you imagine if the roles 159 00:07:21,754 --> 00:07:24,674 Speaker 4: were reversed, we expect mothers to put the children first. 160 00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:27,474 Speaker 4: And if a man wins an award at an award 161 00:07:27,554 --> 00:07:30,034 Speaker 4: ceremony and he says that his partner is at home 162 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:32,194 Speaker 4: with the kids, I don't think there'd be anywhere near 163 00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,394 Speaker 4: his intensive backlash. It's just more expected. 164 00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:34,714 Speaker 6: Yeah. 165 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,034 Speaker 4: So it was kind of this fascinating example of how 166 00:07:37,074 --> 00:07:39,954 Speaker 4: we all say that we want men to show up, 167 00:07:39,994 --> 00:07:42,874 Speaker 4: we all say that we want them to become equal 168 00:07:43,034 --> 00:07:45,874 Speaker 4: partners in parenting, and then when they do it, we 169 00:07:45,994 --> 00:07:46,434 Speaker 4: hate it. 170 00:07:46,874 --> 00:07:50,234 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true in my mind, Bobby chose the 171 00:07:50,354 --> 00:07:53,674 Speaker 2: right thing. But then I started thinking about it on 172 00:07:53,794 --> 00:07:57,953 Speaker 2: a slightly zoomed out level, And what's interesting about this 173 00:07:58,194 --> 00:07:59,954 Speaker 2: is what I think it says about the way that 174 00:07:59,994 --> 00:08:02,874 Speaker 2: our generation parents. Right, So there's a discussion to be 175 00:08:02,874 --> 00:08:05,473 Speaker 2: had about the role that fathers play and how the 176 00:08:05,554 --> 00:08:08,033 Speaker 2: role of fathers is changing and ads are more involved, 177 00:08:08,034 --> 00:08:10,754 Speaker 2: and we will get to that. It did strike me 178 00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:14,674 Speaker 2: as really interesting that we sent to kids now in 179 00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:17,554 Speaker 2: a way that previous generations just wouldn't have, Like the 180 00:08:17,634 --> 00:08:21,634 Speaker 2: reptile expo isn't like Suw Darling, we'll do it next time. 181 00:08:21,953 --> 00:08:24,474 Speaker 2: It becomes this thing of well, we've got to invest 182 00:08:24,514 --> 00:08:27,393 Speaker 2: in our child's hobby, we've got to recognize their passion 183 00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:29,714 Speaker 2: for it. Like never mind that Rosebyrn has spent her 184 00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:34,434 Speaker 2: entire life building to this moment, like literally decades of 185 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:38,154 Speaker 2: hard toil in acting. Fifty years ago, this kid would 186 00:08:38,154 --> 00:08:40,674 Speaker 2: have been told, Shosure, we're going to the awards night. 187 00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:42,634 Speaker 2: We'll get our beard of dragon at the next expo 188 00:08:42,794 --> 00:08:45,514 Speaker 2: or the pet shop. But parenting in twenty twenty six 189 00:08:45,634 --> 00:08:48,434 Speaker 2: just sent as children like at all other costs, and 190 00:08:48,474 --> 00:08:50,994 Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with that. It's just interesting. Like I 191 00:08:50,994 --> 00:08:54,234 Speaker 2: think Bobby missing the Golden Globes is sort of this 192 00:08:54,354 --> 00:08:58,594 Speaker 2: like very Western millennial intensive parenting culture, and the idea 193 00:08:58,674 --> 00:09:02,754 Speaker 2: that a child's beard dragon can outrank mum's globally televised 194 00:09:02,794 --> 00:09:05,354 Speaker 2: career moment is kind of interesting. And I think I 195 00:09:05,434 --> 00:09:07,594 Speaker 2: have a thought in my side a little bit because 196 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:11,074 Speaker 2: I bit of personal news. Guys. I've been studying business 197 00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:13,914 Speaker 2: and tonight is my graduation and I get to go. 198 00:09:14,114 --> 00:09:16,154 Speaker 2: And I've worked so hard on this thing. I've put 199 00:09:16,154 --> 00:09:18,034 Speaker 2: the kids to bed and I've studied. I've done all 200 00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:19,754 Speaker 2: this night school to study to do it. 201 00:09:19,754 --> 00:09:21,794 Speaker 3: It's amazing, mon, thank. 202 00:09:21,634 --> 00:09:24,434 Speaker 2: You, this is my you know, rose burn Golden Globes moment. 203 00:09:24,474 --> 00:09:26,794 Speaker 2: Not quite on the same level, but I have to 204 00:09:26,874 --> 00:09:30,074 Speaker 2: go by myself because we couldn't get a babysitter, and 205 00:09:30,114 --> 00:09:32,274 Speaker 2: it's like, oh, I don't know. I feel a bit 206 00:09:32,394 --> 00:09:34,833 Speaker 2: like again, we're centering the kids, We're doing what's best 207 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,554 Speaker 2: for them. I'm like to my husband, you stay home, 208 00:09:36,594 --> 00:09:39,154 Speaker 2: you look after them, because they're more important than my 209 00:09:39,274 --> 00:09:41,634 Speaker 2: business school. And so I don't know, it's just kind 210 00:09:41,674 --> 00:09:42,154 Speaker 2: of interesting. 211 00:09:42,234 --> 00:09:43,914 Speaker 1: I mean, I was lucky, I guess, to have a 212 00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:46,354 Speaker 1: very involved dad, but I feel like growing up my 213 00:09:46,474 --> 00:09:48,954 Speaker 1: dad was as equally involved as my mom. But maybe 214 00:09:48,954 --> 00:09:51,474 Speaker 1: it's just that it's more public now, Like there are 215 00:09:51,554 --> 00:09:55,354 Speaker 1: these very public displays of dadding that kind of get 216 00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:59,154 Speaker 1: profiled and they get really celebrated for that. But as 217 00:09:59,194 --> 00:10:01,274 Speaker 1: you were saying, the moms, it's just not the case. 218 00:10:01,314 --> 00:10:03,434 Speaker 1: They're not kind of seen as the hero if they 219 00:10:03,434 --> 00:10:06,034 Speaker 1: do the same thing. Mon's you need to tell us 220 00:10:06,074 --> 00:10:08,754 Speaker 1: about the swifty dad that we spoke about this week. 221 00:10:08,794 --> 00:10:11,634 Speaker 1: You have found something that the internet managed to miss. 222 00:10:11,474 --> 00:10:13,634 Speaker 2: Yeap, So you know how we scour the internet on 223 00:10:13,674 --> 00:10:16,034 Speaker 2: this show for Parrington trends so that you don't have 224 00:10:16,114 --> 00:10:19,914 Speaker 2: to This week, I found an example of involved fathers 225 00:10:20,074 --> 00:10:23,994 Speaker 2: that was so astonishing. I couldn't wait to show you it. 226 00:10:24,354 --> 00:10:26,674 Speaker 2: I called you, I messaged you, I sent it to 227 00:10:26,674 --> 00:10:28,074 Speaker 2: the group chat. I was like, we have to talk 228 00:10:28,074 --> 00:10:31,234 Speaker 2: about this. It's a little known documentary on YouTube and 229 00:10:31,274 --> 00:10:34,474 Speaker 2: it's about swifty duds. Do you know what a swifty 230 00:10:34,514 --> 00:10:34,874 Speaker 2: dad is? 231 00:10:35,354 --> 00:10:35,954 Speaker 3: Yes, we do. 232 00:10:36,074 --> 00:10:39,114 Speaker 1: Now we're very acquainted thanks to the cutest documentary I've 233 00:10:39,154 --> 00:10:39,834 Speaker 1: ever watched. 234 00:10:40,114 --> 00:10:44,274 Speaker 2: A swifty dad is someone who takes their daughter is 235 00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:47,634 Speaker 2: involved in their Taylor Swift fandom. I guess, so this 236 00:10:47,754 --> 00:10:50,554 Speaker 2: very short video, which doesn't have many views yet, once 237 00:10:50,554 --> 00:10:52,234 Speaker 2: I've told you about it, go and watch it. I'm 238 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:54,674 Speaker 2: sure it's going to explode. We're always ahead of the 239 00:10:54,714 --> 00:10:58,474 Speaker 2: trends on this show. This comedian Paul Sheer goes to 240 00:10:58,594 --> 00:11:01,594 Speaker 2: the Taylor Swift Eras concert in LA and his goal 241 00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:04,194 Speaker 2: is to talk to the dads that are there with 242 00:11:04,234 --> 00:11:07,874 Speaker 2: their daughters. And I guess he was pro probably thinking 243 00:11:07,994 --> 00:11:10,274 Speaker 2: I might find dads who are kind of like begrudgingly 244 00:11:10,354 --> 00:11:14,114 Speaker 2: there and kind of ugh, yeah, well I've been dragged along. 245 00:11:14,194 --> 00:11:17,834 Speaker 2: But instead what he found was dads who are wearing 246 00:11:17,874 --> 00:11:21,114 Speaker 2: Swifty t shirts, who are swapping friendship bracelets, who are 247 00:11:21,394 --> 00:11:24,874 Speaker 2: learning the chance with their daughters. It is the most 248 00:11:24,914 --> 00:11:27,354 Speaker 2: wholesome thing I've seen in forever. I want you both 249 00:11:27,394 --> 00:11:28,914 Speaker 2: to just listen to this snippet from it. 250 00:11:29,114 --> 00:11:31,074 Speaker 1: How did you get to be a Tailor Swift fan? 251 00:11:31,194 --> 00:11:34,434 Speaker 2: I mean I downloaded taylor setlist, put it on my Spotify. 252 00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:35,514 Speaker 6: Track, and then I listened to it for the last 253 00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:36,194 Speaker 6: ninety days. 254 00:11:36,034 --> 00:11:36,874 Speaker 7: With core memories. 255 00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:39,274 Speaker 1: This is the core memories. I also wanted to build 256 00:11:39,314 --> 00:11:40,274 Speaker 1: memories with my family. 257 00:11:40,354 --> 00:11:42,554 Speaker 7: Did you ever go to a concert with your parents? 258 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,074 Speaker 5: H No? 259 00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:46,034 Speaker 7: I grew up in the eighties. Man, it was like, 260 00:11:46,354 --> 00:11:48,354 Speaker 7: we don't want to be with our parents. I was 261 00:11:48,434 --> 00:11:52,194 Speaker 7: never a Tailor Swift fan, but I saw a documentary 262 00:11:52,474 --> 00:11:54,953 Speaker 7: and then I was sort of floored. I'm like, oh 263 00:11:54,994 --> 00:11:59,514 Speaker 7: my god, Like she's just honest and brave, fearless, you know. Like, 264 00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:04,274 Speaker 7: so I think it fits perfectly with who my daughter is. 265 00:12:04,514 --> 00:12:05,674 Speaker 6: Yeah, you can't get in. 266 00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:08,754 Speaker 1: So the next best thing is out here enjoying the energy. 267 00:12:09,154 --> 00:12:11,714 Speaker 2: See my only daughter, and I love her so much. 268 00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:13,354 Speaker 1: They're opinionated and strong. 269 00:12:13,594 --> 00:12:15,953 Speaker 7: They're making their way on their own, and I'm very 270 00:12:15,954 --> 00:12:16,394 Speaker 7: proud of that. 271 00:12:16,754 --> 00:12:17,834 Speaker 1: Yeah. 272 00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,474 Speaker 3: Ah, and I love that. 273 00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:21,953 Speaker 4: Presumably Taylor herself must have given the okay to use 274 00:12:21,994 --> 00:12:24,154 Speaker 4: her music in that, so she must be aware of 275 00:12:24,194 --> 00:12:24,554 Speaker 4: it too. 276 00:12:24,794 --> 00:12:28,034 Speaker 1: People they're the best and it's interesting. 277 00:12:28,074 --> 00:12:28,354 Speaker 3: Though. 278 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:31,194 Speaker 1: As much as that made us all feel really emotional 279 00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:33,034 Speaker 1: and think that it was the sweetest thing, there was 280 00:12:33,074 --> 00:12:35,634 Speaker 1: a real sadness in the reactions to it as well 281 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,314 Speaker 1: from a lot of people. Like a lot of the 282 00:12:37,314 --> 00:12:40,154 Speaker 1: biggest comments on this content is for my own sake, 283 00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,794 Speaker 1: I'm going to pretend that's AI like because they don't 284 00:12:42,874 --> 00:12:46,474 Speaker 1: have that type of involved father. So it's so lovely 285 00:12:46,514 --> 00:12:48,794 Speaker 1: how we're celebrating it. But for a lot of people 286 00:12:48,794 --> 00:12:50,833 Speaker 1: it's just not the reality, like they don't have that. 287 00:12:51,194 --> 00:12:56,274 Speaker 4: I maintain there's something confronting about seeing dads pour themselves 288 00:12:56,314 --> 00:12:59,714 Speaker 4: into their children's passions. As you said, Stacey, it's just 289 00:12:59,754 --> 00:13:02,314 Speaker 4: not something that we've seen in the public life. We 290 00:13:02,394 --> 00:13:05,474 Speaker 4: may have experienced that growing up, but we haven't seen 291 00:13:05,514 --> 00:13:08,194 Speaker 4: it reflected in the stories that getting told to us 292 00:13:08,314 --> 00:13:11,754 Speaker 4: until very recently. An example that really hit this home 293 00:13:11,794 --> 00:13:16,754 Speaker 4: to me is Chris Hemsworth, another dreamboat Australian celebrity, was 294 00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:19,394 Speaker 4: on smart Less this week. Now side note, I think 295 00:13:19,474 --> 00:13:21,994 Speaker 4: SmartLess is the worst podcast in the whole world, but 296 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,434 Speaker 4: I did the work of listening to it for yank you, 297 00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:26,834 Speaker 4: thank you. And also he's just got a great voice, 298 00:13:26,954 --> 00:13:29,314 Speaker 4: so it wasn't too much of a hardship. And he 299 00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:34,554 Speaker 4: and the SmartLess hosts were talking about Chris's tattoos. What 300 00:13:34,634 --> 00:13:36,994 Speaker 4: I want you to notice in this clip is that 301 00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:40,114 Speaker 4: they start off by kind of riffing on very masculine 302 00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:43,514 Speaker 4: ideas of what tattoos might be of like skull and 303 00:13:43,554 --> 00:13:45,914 Speaker 4: crossbones or you know, I don't even know what men 304 00:13:45,954 --> 00:13:49,834 Speaker 4: get tattoos are, but very stereotypical masculine ideas of tattoos. 305 00:13:50,434 --> 00:13:53,674 Speaker 4: And then Chris, an action hero, a kind of embodiment 306 00:13:53,714 --> 00:13:57,754 Speaker 4: of modern masculinity, says something surprising about the source of 307 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,473 Speaker 4: his tattoos. 308 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,394 Speaker 1: First of all, talk about your tattoos. I want to 309 00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:02,754 Speaker 1: Now I'll get into that my tattoos. 310 00:14:03,154 --> 00:14:05,954 Speaker 6: I have a doctor who's tattoo. My daughter was ways 311 00:14:05,994 --> 00:14:08,434 Speaker 6: to read that book to her a lot, and and 312 00:14:08,474 --> 00:14:11,274 Speaker 6: my mom read it to me, Oh the places we go, 313 00:14:11,674 --> 00:14:14,834 Speaker 6: you'll go, and she just would draw that little character 314 00:14:14,874 --> 00:14:17,354 Speaker 6: and loved it. And so I got that tattoo, and 315 00:14:17,394 --> 00:14:19,554 Speaker 6: then isn't that great? And then a few years later 316 00:14:19,594 --> 00:14:21,674 Speaker 6: I was like, I'm kind of sick of it, So 317 00:14:21,714 --> 00:14:23,754 Speaker 6: I started getting it taken off, and I did like 318 00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:26,674 Speaker 6: one laser session and then she came home one day she. 319 00:14:26,594 --> 00:14:27,834 Speaker 3: Goes, it's rubbing off. 320 00:14:27,874 --> 00:14:28,354 Speaker 6: What happened to her? 321 00:14:28,314 --> 00:14:28,954 Speaker 3: It's rubbing off? 322 00:14:28,954 --> 00:14:30,834 Speaker 6: And I was like, Ah, did you do you still? 323 00:14:31,714 --> 00:14:32,474 Speaker 6: I thought you were seek of it. 324 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:33,514 Speaker 3: No, I love it. 325 00:14:33,554 --> 00:14:33,994 Speaker 5: I love it. 326 00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:36,314 Speaker 6: So it's now kind of half faded, you know, but 327 00:14:36,474 --> 00:14:39,754 Speaker 6: still there, and I've got another it's a bunch of 328 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,794 Speaker 6: my arm. Actually, the little drawings that. 329 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,274 Speaker 4: She did this was a fascinating example to me of 330 00:14:44,514 --> 00:14:47,194 Speaker 4: how we say we want one thing, but we actually 331 00:14:47,314 --> 00:14:49,314 Speaker 4: act a different way when we get it. We all 332 00:14:49,354 --> 00:14:52,074 Speaker 4: say that we want involved dads, dads who are helping out, 333 00:14:52,194 --> 00:14:54,674 Speaker 4: dads who are equal co parents, but then when they 334 00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:58,554 Speaker 4: actually perform that and they step up, we feel uncomfortable 335 00:14:58,634 --> 00:15:01,474 Speaker 4: with that role and with them taking themselves out of 336 00:15:01,474 --> 00:15:05,194 Speaker 4: a masculine stereotype of the absent and forbidding father. 337 00:15:05,634 --> 00:15:06,634 Speaker 1: Do you think that's true. 338 00:15:06,794 --> 00:15:09,074 Speaker 2: Yeah, We've talked about this a lot on the show before, 339 00:15:09,154 --> 00:15:12,514 Speaker 2: about how we're seeing this evolution of fatherhood. We are 340 00:15:12,554 --> 00:15:16,234 Speaker 2: seeing men who are much more involved, who are breaking 341 00:15:16,274 --> 00:15:21,194 Speaker 2: the cycles of the stoic, uninvolved father. You're right, Amelia, 342 00:15:21,674 --> 00:15:25,714 Speaker 2: when we see examples of it in real life, people 343 00:15:25,714 --> 00:15:31,234 Speaker 2: who are going against those embedded scripts of fatherhood in principle. 344 00:15:31,274 --> 00:15:33,514 Speaker 2: We love it, but you're right, the reaction being so 345 00:15:33,994 --> 00:15:36,074 Speaker 2: unfavorable towards it is not a good thing. 346 00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:39,114 Speaker 4: But well, people told Rose to leave Bobby, Like, that's 347 00:15:39,114 --> 00:15:41,554 Speaker 4: an example of how people reacted to this. They thought 348 00:15:41,634 --> 00:15:45,314 Speaker 4: that by putting their children first, Bobby was being a 349 00:15:45,434 --> 00:15:46,954 Speaker 4: bad partner to Rose. 350 00:15:47,394 --> 00:15:51,394 Speaker 2: Is it people or is it mainstream America who comment 351 00:15:51,474 --> 00:15:54,314 Speaker 2: on social media? Like, it's surely not everyone. 352 00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:57,234 Speaker 1: Yeah, because we like to think that we're very progressive now, 353 00:15:57,274 --> 00:15:59,034 Speaker 1: and we like to think that we love seeing these 354 00:15:59,074 --> 00:16:01,674 Speaker 1: examples and that they're the norm. But then when they happen, 355 00:16:01,714 --> 00:16:03,434 Speaker 1: we have a problem with it because we go, oh, 356 00:16:03,514 --> 00:16:05,754 Speaker 1: but that's what she should be doing. We're putting people 357 00:16:05,754 --> 00:16:07,994 Speaker 1: in boxes without even real life that we're doing it. 358 00:16:07,994 --> 00:16:09,514 Speaker 1: It's like we're not as progressive as with all. 359 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:12,434 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're progressive in our little podcast bubble here, right, 360 00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:15,514 Speaker 2: but it's what's actually going on out there is pretty different. 361 00:16:15,794 --> 00:16:17,474 Speaker 4: And then the last thing I want to say is 362 00:16:17,594 --> 00:16:20,074 Speaker 4: after go dads, go Rose at the Oscars. 363 00:16:20,554 --> 00:16:21,594 Speaker 3: She might do us proud. 364 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,354 Speaker 1: She needs to win it. I'm now realizing that my 365 00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:27,474 Speaker 1: dad was a nineties version of a swifties dad. I 366 00:16:27,514 --> 00:16:31,514 Speaker 1: was really obsessed with Survivor and love. I've watched that 367 00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:34,874 Speaker 1: US version since season one, never missed a season. And 368 00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:37,194 Speaker 1: I remember coming home from school one day and they 369 00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:40,154 Speaker 1: had made the house, our backyard look like a Survivor 370 00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:43,954 Speaker 1: tribal council. So they did like the fire to make 371 00:16:43,954 --> 00:16:46,514 Speaker 1: it look like we had the torches. I hated fish, 372 00:16:46,554 --> 00:16:49,874 Speaker 1: so they cut chicken breast into fish shapes and like 373 00:16:49,994 --> 00:16:52,794 Speaker 1: made me dinner. So it was all this stuff for 374 00:16:52,874 --> 00:16:56,954 Speaker 1: the grand final of Survivor. But that was both my parents. 375 00:16:57,194 --> 00:16:59,314 Speaker 1: That was both of them. And it is true that 376 00:16:59,354 --> 00:17:01,434 Speaker 1: the dads, you know, they get a bit more of 377 00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:03,514 Speaker 1: the glory. But I'm glad that they are. I'm glad 378 00:17:03,554 --> 00:17:05,274 Speaker 1: that they are so involved in the things we love, 379 00:17:05,434 --> 00:17:06,034 Speaker 1: like Survivor. 380 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,914 Speaker 2: Yeah, the research which is actually really telling on this. 381 00:17:09,634 --> 00:17:11,354 Speaker 2: If we know that there are people listening who are 382 00:17:11,354 --> 00:17:14,954 Speaker 2: in same sex marriages or who are single mums and 383 00:17:14,994 --> 00:17:18,114 Speaker 2: who don't have there is no dad in the life, 384 00:17:18,194 --> 00:17:19,794 Speaker 2: and so we don't I just want to be careful 385 00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:23,434 Speaker 2: about how we talk about this. There are search shows 386 00:17:23,514 --> 00:17:26,154 Speaker 2: that paternal warmth, so it doesn't have to be a dad. 387 00:17:26,194 --> 00:17:28,514 Speaker 2: It could be like a father figure. I guess when 388 00:17:28,594 --> 00:17:31,954 Speaker 2: girls have that relationship in their lives, it correlates with 389 00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,954 Speaker 2: a lot of really good outcomes like higher self esteem 390 00:17:35,114 --> 00:17:39,474 Speaker 2: and lower body dissatisfaction and lower risk taking in girls. 391 00:17:39,594 --> 00:17:42,754 Speaker 2: So but I guess mainly it's just this signal that 392 00:17:42,874 --> 00:17:46,034 Speaker 2: dads are evolving, like right before our eyes, right, which 393 00:17:46,074 --> 00:17:48,154 Speaker 2: is a really really good thing. But it's good to 394 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:51,394 Speaker 2: see that the research backs it up to Seeing Bobby Countavalle, 395 00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:54,914 Speaker 2: seeing Chris Hemsworth show us a different way is really powerful. 396 00:17:55,154 --> 00:17:56,394 Speaker 2: It's really important. 397 00:17:56,914 --> 00:18:00,594 Speaker 1: Now. It's rare that I have any sort of sympathy 398 00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:03,754 Speaker 1: for gg Hadi. She's gorgeous, she's rich, she doesn't need 399 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:08,313 Speaker 1: anything from me, I'm sure. But her cope parent, Zane Malick, 400 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:11,434 Speaker 1: who you'll know from One Direction Fame. He was on 401 00:18:11,474 --> 00:18:14,994 Speaker 1: the Call Her Daddy podcast earlier this month, and you 402 00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,234 Speaker 1: know clips always fly around from that show. It's one 403 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,754 Speaker 1: of the biggest shows in the world where you know, 404 00:18:19,994 --> 00:18:22,833 Speaker 1: a very close second, And one of the clips that 405 00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:26,634 Speaker 1: has haunted him, I think because it has really drawn 406 00:18:26,674 --> 00:18:29,594 Speaker 1: out a lot of feelings from people, is one about 407 00:18:29,594 --> 00:18:32,754 Speaker 1: a decision he made about co parenting when it came 408 00:18:32,954 --> 00:18:33,914 Speaker 1: to the tooth Fairy. 409 00:18:34,074 --> 00:18:35,794 Speaker 2: Here is what he said, So, I think I gave 410 00:18:35,874 --> 00:18:38,033 Speaker 2: a bit too much money from the tooth Fairy? 411 00:18:38,594 --> 00:18:40,794 Speaker 3: Are we talking five hundred quid? 412 00:18:41,114 --> 00:18:41,554 Speaker 2: Sane? 413 00:18:41,714 --> 00:18:43,554 Speaker 6: So the first two and her mom gave me shit 414 00:18:43,634 --> 00:18:45,114 Speaker 6: about it, and I was like, at the end of 415 00:18:45,154 --> 00:18:47,154 Speaker 6: the day, I worked my ass off and like I 416 00:18:47,154 --> 00:18:49,194 Speaker 6: should be able to give my kid what I want 417 00:18:49,234 --> 00:18:49,994 Speaker 6: to give, you know. 418 00:18:50,074 --> 00:18:51,634 Speaker 2: But then what's going to happen with the second one? 419 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:52,314 Speaker 6: She gets five? 420 00:18:52,474 --> 00:18:54,754 Speaker 1: The first two, I'm going to keep that one from 421 00:18:55,394 --> 00:18:57,714 Speaker 1: She's like, Dad, what is this ship? It's like a 422 00:18:57,754 --> 00:19:00,794 Speaker 1: one dollar billie. You're like, yeah, that's it. Two phrase 423 00:19:00,954 --> 00:19:01,834 Speaker 1: two phrase gone broke. 424 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:02,954 Speaker 3: Now she's my first kid. 425 00:19:03,074 --> 00:19:05,314 Speaker 1: People in general like, obviously look at the same type 426 00:19:05,314 --> 00:19:05,554 Speaker 1: of word. 427 00:19:05,554 --> 00:19:07,634 Speaker 6: But look at the end of there, I was looking 428 00:19:07,674 --> 00:19:08,954 Speaker 6: if I got anything. 429 00:19:08,674 --> 00:19:11,273 Speaker 1: For my teeth, and I've worked really hard for everything 430 00:19:11,314 --> 00:19:14,434 Speaker 1: I've earned. Now, this particularly struck a chord, of course, 431 00:19:14,474 --> 00:19:16,634 Speaker 1: with people who are co parenting. Like we've spoken on 432 00:19:16,674 --> 00:19:19,594 Speaker 1: this show before about Elon Musk and Grimes and all 433 00:19:19,714 --> 00:19:22,194 Speaker 1: that tension that has played out in the public sphere 434 00:19:22,234 --> 00:19:25,674 Speaker 1: about them very much disagreeing with how they raise their children. 435 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,474 Speaker 1: But I think even if you are still in a 436 00:19:27,594 --> 00:19:30,994 Speaker 1: relationship with the other parent of your child, it's like 437 00:19:31,034 --> 00:19:35,434 Speaker 1: a classic case of completely different goalposts or completely different 438 00:19:35,514 --> 00:19:37,434 Speaker 1: rules and how that plays out. 439 00:19:37,474 --> 00:19:38,034 Speaker 3: What did you. 440 00:19:37,954 --> 00:19:41,994 Speaker 4: Think, Oh, I'm so mad at saying, yeah, so mad 441 00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:46,754 Speaker 4: at him. This is too fairy inflation. This hurts everyone, 442 00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:50,874 Speaker 4: it does. I just have a modest proposal that we 443 00:19:50,914 --> 00:19:53,874 Speaker 4: need a reserve bank for teeth. We need someone to 444 00:19:54,034 --> 00:19:57,313 Speaker 4: set the interest rates or the two fairy rates, so 445 00:19:57,354 --> 00:19:59,194 Speaker 4: that I'm not dealing with the fact that there's a 446 00:19:59,274 --> 00:20:01,394 Speaker 4: kid at my kid's school who's getting. 447 00:20:01,154 --> 00:20:03,234 Speaker 1: Twenty dollars through his teeth that are. 448 00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:05,754 Speaker 3: Too much money for not doing any work. 449 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:09,194 Speaker 2: I agree, we do need a reserve bank. Maybe an 450 00:20:09,234 --> 00:20:11,674 Speaker 2: app on our phone, just an alert that comes through 451 00:20:11,994 --> 00:20:15,033 Speaker 2: it's gone up to six dollars a tooth, whatever it is, 452 00:20:15,074 --> 00:20:15,634 Speaker 2: I don't. 453 00:20:15,394 --> 00:20:18,634 Speaker 1: Know, and fines for selfish people like this who do 454 00:20:18,674 --> 00:20:20,394 Speaker 1: that amount. Yeah, that is crazy. 455 00:20:20,514 --> 00:20:23,674 Speaker 4: I mean, look, when I had children, I decided that 456 00:20:23,714 --> 00:20:26,074 Speaker 4: they were going to get a gold coin for teeth. 457 00:20:26,234 --> 00:20:28,914 Speaker 4: But in this day and age, it's very difficult to 458 00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:31,034 Speaker 4: hold to that standard. That's all I'm going to say. 459 00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:34,073 Speaker 4: The rates are fluctuating wildly, and they're only going out. 460 00:20:34,154 --> 00:20:36,874 Speaker 1: So it's like a note situation because I have first 461 00:20:36,914 --> 00:20:39,553 Speaker 1: wobbly tooth in my household for my daughter, so I 462 00:20:39,634 --> 00:20:42,714 Speaker 1: need to decide now what the tooth fairy is going 463 00:20:42,754 --> 00:20:43,074 Speaker 1: to give. 464 00:20:43,274 --> 00:20:45,194 Speaker 4: The other problem is that no one ever has cash 465 00:20:45,234 --> 00:20:47,033 Speaker 4: anymore now, including the tooth fairy. 466 00:20:47,074 --> 00:20:47,874 Speaker 1: It's just stressful. 467 00:20:47,954 --> 00:20:50,434 Speaker 4: So you have to sort of like remember to tell 468 00:20:50,474 --> 00:20:53,634 Speaker 4: the tooth fairy, who may or may not be your partner, 469 00:20:54,114 --> 00:20:56,394 Speaker 4: that they need to go to the ATM. There's a 470 00:20:56,434 --> 00:20:58,674 Speaker 4: lot of advanced planning involved, or. 471 00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:02,954 Speaker 1: Like a bank transfer if you're Zane Malley getting. 472 00:21:02,634 --> 00:21:07,514 Speaker 2: Five hundred quid under the pillow as well faster. There's 473 00:21:07,514 --> 00:21:09,474 Speaker 2: always one parent that just ruins it for the rest 474 00:21:09,474 --> 00:21:12,513 Speaker 2: of us girls. I got a phone call this week 475 00:21:12,674 --> 00:21:15,154 Speaker 2: and my jaw dropped, and I thought, I don't know 476 00:21:15,154 --> 00:21:17,114 Speaker 2: what to do. I need to bring this to the 477 00:21:17,114 --> 00:21:20,874 Speaker 2: podcast and get your counsel on it. As all good 478 00:21:20,914 --> 00:21:24,754 Speaker 2: dilemmas should be. It is a full blown modern parenting dilemma. 479 00:21:24,874 --> 00:21:27,874 Speaker 2: Strap In. I had a phone call from the school 480 00:21:27,874 --> 00:21:32,394 Speaker 2: this week and they were putting up a photo of 481 00:21:32,434 --> 00:21:36,714 Speaker 2: the new reception class on the school's Facebook and Instagram. 482 00:21:36,794 --> 00:21:39,234 Speaker 1: Now, sorry, I have to stop you their mom's because 483 00:21:39,274 --> 00:21:40,074 Speaker 1: what is recept? 484 00:21:40,354 --> 00:21:40,714 Speaker 2: Okay? 485 00:21:41,074 --> 00:21:45,034 Speaker 1: Is that like KINDI, that's kindy for the different states, right. 486 00:21:44,914 --> 00:21:48,074 Speaker 2: It's school. It's the first year level at SKY to 487 00:21:48,154 --> 00:21:48,674 Speaker 2: maybe prep. 488 00:21:49,234 --> 00:21:52,234 Speaker 3: It just sounds like they're serving wine and chet it does, which. 489 00:21:51,994 --> 00:21:57,834 Speaker 2: Sounds great, Okay, prep, KINDI, reception whatever it is. Now, 490 00:21:57,834 --> 00:22:01,513 Speaker 2: my husband and I chose to not give permission for 491 00:22:01,514 --> 00:22:04,154 Speaker 2: our kids to be on social media. The school sends 492 00:22:04,194 --> 00:22:06,033 Speaker 2: out a pamphlet at the start of the year and 493 00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:08,754 Speaker 2: you can opt out, and so we elected to opt out. 494 00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:11,914 Speaker 2: We did not want our kids on social media in 495 00:22:11,994 --> 00:22:15,793 Speaker 2: school stuff. So the lovely admin woman was calling to 496 00:22:15,954 --> 00:22:18,313 Speaker 2: check if this was the case, like just letting you know, 497 00:22:18,914 --> 00:22:21,074 Speaker 2: we've taken this photo, we're gonna post it, and I 498 00:22:21,114 --> 00:22:23,234 Speaker 2: just wanted to double check that you wanted to opt out, 499 00:22:23,474 --> 00:22:25,754 Speaker 2: which I thought was great. I thought that was really 500 00:22:25,794 --> 00:22:29,594 Speaker 2: really good compliance. I guess that the school called and 501 00:22:29,674 --> 00:22:32,354 Speaker 2: I had some questions. I said, is the Facebook and 502 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:37,154 Speaker 2: Instagram page public? Yes, yes, it is public. And I said, 503 00:22:37,394 --> 00:22:41,154 Speaker 2: will she be the only child that's deidentified so they 504 00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:43,313 Speaker 2: put a star on their face so you can't see them, 505 00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:46,234 Speaker 2: And this woman said, yes, she will be the only one, 506 00:22:46,474 --> 00:22:49,273 Speaker 2: and So here's my dilemma. Do I hold the line 507 00:22:49,914 --> 00:22:54,553 Speaker 2: and sort of protect her digital footprint, perhaps become the 508 00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:57,994 Speaker 2: weird privacy parent and sort of have her marked out 509 00:22:58,074 --> 00:23:01,594 Speaker 2: as different, or do I say, yeah, sure, sure, like 510 00:23:01,674 --> 00:23:04,273 Speaker 2: just put her on Facebook, on your public Facebook page, 511 00:23:04,314 --> 00:23:06,754 Speaker 2: just like every other kid. And this was my modern 512 00:23:06,754 --> 00:23:09,313 Speaker 2: dilemma because I genuinely did not know what to do. 513 00:23:10,314 --> 00:23:11,234 Speaker 3: It's so hard. 514 00:23:11,474 --> 00:23:13,714 Speaker 4: It's so hard to know that your kid is the 515 00:23:13,834 --> 00:23:19,714 Speaker 4: only one. That phrase is just so challenging. And what 516 00:23:19,954 --> 00:23:21,954 Speaker 4: hits home to me about this, I don't think there's 517 00:23:21,994 --> 00:23:25,754 Speaker 4: easy answers. It reminds me of so many parenting quandaries, 518 00:23:26,314 --> 00:23:30,033 Speaker 4: which are do you suffer through or inflict on your 519 00:23:30,074 --> 00:23:35,394 Speaker 4: kid embarrassment, inconvenience, mortification and the short term because you 520 00:23:35,474 --> 00:23:37,754 Speaker 4: think something is in their long term interest. Sometimes you 521 00:23:37,794 --> 00:23:40,314 Speaker 4: don't have the energy to stick your neck out and 522 00:23:40,354 --> 00:23:42,474 Speaker 4: to do it again and again, and to find yourself 523 00:23:42,474 --> 00:23:45,834 Speaker 4: having to do it again and again can be really exhausted. 524 00:23:45,914 --> 00:23:48,154 Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's so many things where that's the case now, 525 00:23:48,154 --> 00:23:49,954 Speaker 1: And it feels like the stakes are a lot more 526 00:23:49,994 --> 00:23:53,114 Speaker 1: public now, like even with sleepovers, you know, there's so 527 00:23:53,274 --> 00:23:56,474 Speaker 1: much more debate around those and whether you want to 528 00:23:56,514 --> 00:23:59,394 Speaker 1: be the parent example who says no when everyone else 529 00:23:59,394 --> 00:24:02,994 Speaker 1: says yes. Same with phones, like there's so many things now, wait, 530 00:24:03,074 --> 00:24:05,434 Speaker 1: you have to kind of make that call. And this 531 00:24:05,594 --> 00:24:07,714 Speaker 1: just feels like another one on the life where it 532 00:24:07,714 --> 00:24:09,874 Speaker 1: feels a bit impossible. You're trying to hold the line 533 00:24:09,914 --> 00:24:12,154 Speaker 1: on what you think is the best decision, but if 534 00:24:12,194 --> 00:24:14,474 Speaker 1: everyone else is going against that, does that make that role? 535 00:24:14,794 --> 00:24:17,074 Speaker 4: Also, I don't understand where this school has to make 536 00:24:17,114 --> 00:24:18,994 Speaker 4: this Facebook page public. 537 00:24:19,234 --> 00:24:20,513 Speaker 1: It's so odd to me. 538 00:24:21,154 --> 00:24:23,674 Speaker 2: Yeah, that crossed my mind too, Like why, I guess 539 00:24:23,714 --> 00:24:25,914 Speaker 2: it's branding for the school. I guess it's a marketing 540 00:24:25,994 --> 00:24:28,314 Speaker 2: channel for the school. This is a private school we're 541 00:24:28,354 --> 00:24:30,874 Speaker 2: talking about, so I guess they want to show you 542 00:24:30,914 --> 00:24:33,234 Speaker 2: know that they're kind of wholesome and inclusive, and that 543 00:24:33,274 --> 00:24:35,394 Speaker 2: includes taking photos of kids and putting on a public 544 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:38,234 Speaker 2: Facebook page. That feels wild to me in twenty twenty six. 545 00:24:38,274 --> 00:24:40,954 Speaker 2: But then again, is this an example of me being 546 00:24:40,954 --> 00:24:43,714 Speaker 2: in the podcast bubble where I read the things online 547 00:24:43,754 --> 00:24:46,114 Speaker 2: and I go, oh, okay, I'm opting out. I was 548 00:24:46,274 --> 00:24:50,034 Speaker 2: shocked that I was the only parent saying no, we're 549 00:24:50,034 --> 00:24:50,794 Speaker 2: opting out of this. 550 00:24:50,994 --> 00:24:53,354 Speaker 4: Well, I think it's because it's exhausting to be always 551 00:24:53,354 --> 00:24:55,514 Speaker 4: the one who's opting out and always sticking your neck out. 552 00:24:55,554 --> 00:24:57,994 Speaker 4: I mean, look, you asked what we thought. This is 553 00:24:58,034 --> 00:24:59,914 Speaker 4: not a hell I'm going to die on. I don't 554 00:24:59,954 --> 00:25:02,354 Speaker 4: have the energy to embark on this particular fight. 555 00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:05,994 Speaker 1: It's definitely been one I go back and forth about 556 00:25:06,154 --> 00:25:09,034 Speaker 1: a lot, Mons, and I think the reason you're probably 557 00:25:09,074 --> 00:25:11,314 Speaker 1: conscious of it as well is you know in your 558 00:25:11,354 --> 00:25:14,874 Speaker 1: algorithm you are seeing There was a huge surge of people, 559 00:25:14,914 --> 00:25:19,074 Speaker 1: particularly when TikTok became so popular in Australia, where creators 560 00:25:19,074 --> 00:25:21,794 Speaker 1: were showing every single inch of their lives, and those 561 00:25:21,914 --> 00:25:25,754 Speaker 1: children in those videos have disappeared overwhelmingly. A lot of 562 00:25:25,834 --> 00:25:31,513 Speaker 1: people have made the decision to remove their children from parenting. 563 00:25:31,554 --> 00:25:35,154 Speaker 1: TikTok has changed so much. Even from COVID times to now, 564 00:25:35,474 --> 00:25:37,554 Speaker 1: a lot of the biggest content creators in the world 565 00:25:37,634 --> 00:25:40,834 Speaker 1: who were making family content their children have vanished. They're 566 00:25:40,834 --> 00:25:43,954 Speaker 1: still doing family content in a different way, but there 567 00:25:43,954 --> 00:25:46,073 Speaker 1: were a few big cases where people really went at 568 00:25:46,074 --> 00:25:48,154 Speaker 1: them and said, you are showing that child too much. 569 00:25:48,234 --> 00:25:50,714 Speaker 1: That is going to be a problem for their long term. 570 00:25:51,034 --> 00:25:53,994 Speaker 1: And so I think maybe subconsciously that plays on people's 571 00:25:53,994 --> 00:25:56,634 Speaker 1: minds at a much smaller scale, you know who's going 572 00:25:56,714 --> 00:25:59,553 Speaker 1: to care, like who's going and looking, but you know 573 00:25:59,594 --> 00:26:02,513 Speaker 1: we're seeing now child safety experts say, yeah, like people 574 00:26:02,554 --> 00:26:04,474 Speaker 1: are looking. You do need to be conscious of this. 575 00:26:04,634 --> 00:26:06,874 Speaker 1: So we're kind of getting a lot of that messaging. 576 00:26:06,914 --> 00:26:09,194 Speaker 1: So it does make you paranoid and go, do I 577 00:26:09,274 --> 00:26:11,714 Speaker 1: need to make this decision now? But as you say, like, 578 00:26:11,754 --> 00:26:14,634 Speaker 1: it's just another choice you've then got to make. 579 00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:16,954 Speaker 4: Well, And now the thing that I notice people do 580 00:26:17,034 --> 00:26:19,714 Speaker 4: a lot, and the Duke and Duchess of Sussex or 581 00:26:19,714 --> 00:26:21,754 Speaker 4: examples of this, but there are many celebrities who do 582 00:26:21,794 --> 00:26:25,234 Speaker 4: this on Instagram, where they want you to know that 583 00:26:25,314 --> 00:26:27,553 Speaker 4: the children are in their lives and they're involved with 584 00:26:27,594 --> 00:26:29,954 Speaker 4: the children, but they don't want to show the children's faces, 585 00:26:30,274 --> 00:26:33,674 Speaker 4: and so often photos are posed with the children looking 586 00:26:33,714 --> 00:26:36,794 Speaker 4: away from the camera or a blurry movement shot. 587 00:26:37,234 --> 00:26:39,914 Speaker 1: And you have to admit it annoys me. Why. 588 00:26:40,554 --> 00:26:43,674 Speaker 4: I think because it's like you're getting the kudos for 589 00:26:43,834 --> 00:26:48,154 Speaker 4: like being the performative parent, but then there's something inherently 590 00:26:48,354 --> 00:26:50,234 Speaker 4: so contrived about the setup. 591 00:26:50,554 --> 00:26:53,474 Speaker 2: I think it's great that they're protecting the children's privacy. 592 00:26:53,514 --> 00:26:56,114 Speaker 2: How interesting. So a friend of mine is a family photographer. 593 00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:59,154 Speaker 2: She takes portrait shots of family, and she's saying the 594 00:26:59,194 --> 00:27:03,354 Speaker 2: other day that she increasingly has requests from families to 595 00:27:03,714 --> 00:27:05,474 Speaker 2: take you know, you nor onally take a post photo 596 00:27:05,514 --> 00:27:07,074 Speaker 2: were you're all looking at the camera, but now parents 597 00:27:07,234 --> 00:27:09,594 Speaker 2: asking her to take the really candid shots where the 598 00:27:09,714 --> 00:27:12,234 Speaker 2: child's hair is sort of masking their face, or it's 599 00:27:12,274 --> 00:27:15,274 Speaker 2: from the child from behind, so that they can post 600 00:27:15,354 --> 00:27:17,994 Speaker 2: them on social media without fear of the child's face 601 00:27:17,994 --> 00:27:20,634 Speaker 2: being in it. Like I'm not sitting here being holier 602 00:27:20,634 --> 00:27:23,874 Speaker 2: than thou. I used to post my kids' photos online NonStop, 603 00:27:23,954 --> 00:27:25,313 Speaker 2: and then one day it just sort of hit me. 604 00:27:26,874 --> 00:27:28,874 Speaker 2: I don't know who's looking at these, and also should 605 00:27:28,914 --> 00:27:31,274 Speaker 2: they get to sort of choose when they go online. 606 00:27:31,314 --> 00:27:34,114 Speaker 2: So no judgment on people that post their kids online. Honestly, 607 00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:36,394 Speaker 2: I think it's horses for courses. It's just not something 608 00:27:36,434 --> 00:27:37,914 Speaker 2: that sits right with me right now. 609 00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:39,594 Speaker 3: So Moe's what did you end up doing? 610 00:27:39,954 --> 00:27:44,234 Speaker 2: So I've disappointed myself. I said, yeah, okay, post her, 611 00:27:44,274 --> 00:27:44,754 Speaker 2: that's fine. 612 00:27:46,034 --> 00:27:47,074 Speaker 1: You can die on that hill. 613 00:27:47,114 --> 00:27:51,314 Speaker 2: Another damon's They also said, you know, she's really small, 614 00:27:51,434 --> 00:27:54,313 Speaker 2: her face isn't really discernible, you know, it's not like 615 00:27:54,314 --> 00:27:57,034 Speaker 2: a full portrait of hers, So there were like, yeah, 616 00:27:57,074 --> 00:27:59,994 Speaker 2: I interrogated the situation. I rang my husband and said, 617 00:28:00,034 --> 00:28:02,394 Speaker 2: what should we do? I feel conflicted about this, so 618 00:28:02,434 --> 00:28:04,434 Speaker 2: we made the decision to just let that one slide 619 00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:07,394 Speaker 2: through to the keeper. But yeah, it did shock that 620 00:28:07,434 --> 00:28:09,954 Speaker 2: we were the only ones. So I think after this conversation, 621 00:28:09,994 --> 00:28:11,914 Speaker 2: you know, I am going to keep sticking my neck out. 622 00:28:12,034 --> 00:28:15,234 Speaker 2: I am okay, it is time for recommendations. This is 623 00:28:15,234 --> 00:28:16,754 Speaker 2: the part of the show where we bring you the 624 00:28:16,794 --> 00:28:19,114 Speaker 2: things that we find really helpful or that we're obsessed with, 625 00:28:19,274 --> 00:28:20,754 Speaker 2: that we're loving sick, and we want you to know 626 00:28:20,794 --> 00:28:23,714 Speaker 2: about them. I you know, I'll always go to you, Stacy, 627 00:28:23,754 --> 00:28:25,914 Speaker 2: I'm going to go to you. Amelia. What have you 628 00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:26,794 Speaker 2: got wild? 629 00:28:26,954 --> 00:28:30,833 Speaker 1: We're going crazy this week. I've got a book. 630 00:28:31,114 --> 00:28:34,273 Speaker 4: It's called I'm Glad my Mom Died by Jeanette Thea Kirby. 631 00:28:34,674 --> 00:28:37,354 Speaker 3: So good now, yeah, yeah, good, isn't it? 632 00:28:37,394 --> 00:28:38,474 Speaker 1: Why haven't EE recored this? 633 00:28:38,754 --> 00:28:41,354 Speaker 4: But I avoided it for a long time. It came 634 00:28:41,394 --> 00:28:43,754 Speaker 4: out three years ago, it's not new, and I kept 635 00:28:43,754 --> 00:28:44,594 Speaker 4: seeing it everywhere. 636 00:28:44,594 --> 00:28:46,074 Speaker 1: It's sold millions of copies. 637 00:28:46,354 --> 00:28:48,434 Speaker 4: But there were two things I was put off by 638 00:28:48,594 --> 00:28:52,114 Speaker 4: the first is the bubblegum pink cover, which I just 639 00:28:52,314 --> 00:28:55,554 Speaker 4: looked dated and weird to me. And then the second 640 00:28:55,554 --> 00:28:58,114 Speaker 4: thing is the confronting title, and look, the title is 641 00:28:58,114 --> 00:28:59,874 Speaker 4: a problem. I was reading this book at home because 642 00:28:59,874 --> 00:29:02,474 Speaker 4: I couldn't put it down, and my kids kept being like, 643 00:29:02,714 --> 00:29:04,754 Speaker 4: what's the name of that book? And like reading it? 644 00:29:04,794 --> 00:29:07,074 Speaker 4: And I felt weird holding a book with that time. 645 00:29:07,434 --> 00:29:10,874 Speaker 4: But then Mia told me that I had to read it, 646 00:29:11,114 --> 00:29:12,874 Speaker 4: so then I decided to read it. 647 00:29:13,074 --> 00:29:14,714 Speaker 3: And it's an amazing book. 648 00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:17,154 Speaker 4: There are all these blurbs calling it a comic masterpiece, 649 00:29:17,194 --> 00:29:20,074 Speaker 4: and it really is. I'll tell you quickly what happens 650 00:29:20,074 --> 00:29:22,554 Speaker 4: in it. Janet McCurdy was a child Staff. She was 651 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:25,034 Speaker 4: on I Carli, she was on Sam and Kat. Sam 652 00:29:25,034 --> 00:29:27,834 Speaker 4: and Kat's currently on Netflix, and a lot of kids 653 00:29:27,914 --> 00:29:30,154 Speaker 4: and jotally are sort of watching that show for the 654 00:29:30,154 --> 00:29:33,114 Speaker 4: first time, even though it's a couple of decades older. 655 00:29:33,234 --> 00:29:36,394 Speaker 4: That's one one with Ariana Grande in exactly yep and 656 00:29:36,434 --> 00:29:38,514 Speaker 4: then Nickelodeon shows. And she grew up in a very 657 00:29:38,514 --> 00:29:41,594 Speaker 4: religious and very emotionally fraught household. 658 00:29:41,874 --> 00:29:43,234 Speaker 1: There's a lot of really tough. 659 00:29:43,034 --> 00:29:46,954 Speaker 4: Themes in it, like the exploitation of child actors, eating disorders, 660 00:29:47,154 --> 00:29:50,834 Speaker 4: really complicated parent child dynamics. But it's also laugh out 661 00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:53,834 Speaker 4: loud funny. It's beautifully written. There's a great phrase, just 662 00:29:53,914 --> 00:29:56,994 Speaker 4: as by way of example, when she's describing her emotionally 663 00:29:56,994 --> 00:30:00,594 Speaker 4: complicated childhood, she says, the air in my house felt 664 00:30:00,634 --> 00:30:01,914 Speaker 4: like a held breath. 665 00:30:01,994 --> 00:30:02,714 Speaker 1: I just loved that. 666 00:30:03,474 --> 00:30:05,754 Speaker 4: It's also a really fascinating glimpse into like a less 667 00:30:05,754 --> 00:30:08,834 Speaker 4: glamorous side of Hollywood. And there's some celebrity gossip about 668 00:30:08,874 --> 00:30:11,514 Speaker 4: Ariana Grande and others, so it kind of. 669 00:30:11,514 --> 00:30:13,074 Speaker 1: Like ticks a lot of boxes. 670 00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:16,234 Speaker 4: And to show how compelling it is, I had it 671 00:30:16,274 --> 00:30:19,594 Speaker 4: on a long distance plane flight, and normally I just 672 00:30:19,634 --> 00:30:22,714 Speaker 4: watched terrible TV on those flights, but I actually read 673 00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:24,754 Speaker 4: a book on a plane. That's how good it is. 674 00:30:24,994 --> 00:30:25,514 Speaker 3: Unheard of. 675 00:30:25,674 --> 00:30:28,234 Speaker 1: I just watched crazy ricasions on a plane, so I love. 676 00:30:29,514 --> 00:30:31,114 Speaker 2: Did she hate her mum? Is that the thing? 677 00:30:31,474 --> 00:30:34,034 Speaker 4: No, she and her mom were very, very close. It 678 00:30:34,154 --> 00:30:38,754 Speaker 4: was a very layered and complicated relationship. Her mom taught 679 00:30:38,794 --> 00:30:41,274 Speaker 4: her to calorie restrict when she was eleven, and this 680 00:30:41,394 --> 00:30:44,194 Speaker 4: set her on the path of an eating disorder. So 681 00:30:44,274 --> 00:30:47,474 Speaker 4: clearly there were some toxic elements to it. But What 682 00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:50,314 Speaker 4: I really like about it is that she tries to 683 00:30:50,354 --> 00:30:54,434 Speaker 4: present a very holistic and nuanced view of her mother. 684 00:30:54,594 --> 00:30:57,114 Speaker 4: We know her mother loved her very very much, that's 685 00:30:57,234 --> 00:31:00,754 Speaker 4: never in doubt. At the same time, her mother encouraged 686 00:31:00,754 --> 00:31:04,434 Speaker 4: her into behaviors that were quite self destructive, So the 687 00:31:04,474 --> 00:31:05,514 Speaker 4: answer is complicated. 688 00:31:05,754 --> 00:31:07,554 Speaker 2: Is it the kind of book that you think about 689 00:31:07,714 --> 00:31:09,154 Speaker 2: once you finished it? You think about it in the 690 00:31:09,194 --> 00:31:09,714 Speaker 2: days to come? 691 00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:10,234 Speaker 6: Oh? 692 00:31:10,314 --> 00:31:10,874 Speaker 3: Definitely. 693 00:31:10,914 --> 00:31:14,114 Speaker 4: And I found myself watching TV interviews with her because 694 00:31:14,194 --> 00:31:16,954 Speaker 4: I wasn't really familiar with her acting career, and there's 695 00:31:16,954 --> 00:31:18,314 Speaker 4: a fascinating interview that she does. 696 00:31:18,314 --> 00:31:19,314 Speaker 1: If you just want a teaser. 697 00:31:19,754 --> 00:31:21,834 Speaker 3: She did an interview with Drew Barrymore, who. 698 00:31:21,674 --> 00:31:25,354 Speaker 4: Herself was, of course a very precocious child actor. And 699 00:31:25,434 --> 00:31:28,554 Speaker 4: to hear these two people talk about their intense childhoods 700 00:31:28,634 --> 00:31:31,554 Speaker 4: under the glare of the spotlight was really fascinating. 701 00:31:31,834 --> 00:31:34,554 Speaker 1: What about you, Stacy, What are you recommending I have 702 00:31:34,674 --> 00:31:39,554 Speaker 1: become a tubing Mascar convert? Oh? Yeah, keep wanting to 703 00:31:39,594 --> 00:31:41,634 Speaker 1: call it tubular Mascar. 704 00:31:41,754 --> 00:31:43,274 Speaker 3: Take you so much? I don't know. 705 00:31:43,434 --> 00:31:45,314 Speaker 1: I don't know why I resisted it. I think I 706 00:31:45,354 --> 00:31:47,834 Speaker 1: was like, I'm good with my Maybeline that I've used 707 00:31:47,834 --> 00:31:50,874 Speaker 1: since I was eighteen, like I'm not converting, And then 708 00:31:51,074 --> 00:31:53,834 Speaker 1: I was in Mecha and I was like, I should, 709 00:31:53,954 --> 00:31:56,594 Speaker 1: I should just try them and see. Lee Campbell, who 710 00:31:56,634 --> 00:31:59,914 Speaker 1: hosts ow You Beauty podcast, describes it as like little 711 00:31:59,994 --> 00:32:02,474 Speaker 1: socks for your eyelashes, so they come off a lot easier. 712 00:32:02,594 --> 00:32:04,874 Speaker 1: I know, I'm telling you both things you've literally probably 713 00:32:04,914 --> 00:32:07,474 Speaker 1: known for five years. I'm such a late adopter. But 714 00:32:07,674 --> 00:32:11,834 Speaker 1: for the fellow late adopters, the Mecha brand, tubing Musca, 715 00:32:11,834 --> 00:32:12,874 Speaker 1: it's twenty eight bucks. 716 00:32:13,114 --> 00:32:17,114 Speaker 2: Twenty eight bucks isn't a Mabelene mascara like thirteen bucks. 717 00:32:17,194 --> 00:32:19,434 Speaker 1: When it's fifty percent off, They're not as cheap as 718 00:32:19,434 --> 00:32:21,834 Speaker 1: they used to be. I really do love it. It's 719 00:32:21,874 --> 00:32:24,274 Speaker 1: making taking my makeup off a lot easier. So I 720 00:32:24,314 --> 00:32:26,954 Speaker 1: just wanted to recommend that one. If you're wanting to 721 00:32:26,994 --> 00:32:28,594 Speaker 1: finally make the switch. 722 00:32:28,594 --> 00:32:30,714 Speaker 2: What do you take your makeup off with. 723 00:32:30,954 --> 00:32:34,834 Speaker 1: My cellar water? Now I'm trying to camp Yes, yes, 724 00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:37,994 Speaker 1: I'm just slowly morphing into her. I'm absorbing all her tips. 725 00:32:38,194 --> 00:32:40,914 Speaker 2: I've been using coconut oil just out of the pantry 726 00:32:40,994 --> 00:32:43,714 Speaker 2: to get oh my god. And actually the other day 727 00:32:43,714 --> 00:32:45,594 Speaker 2: I used it on my five year old's band aid. 728 00:32:45,634 --> 00:32:47,194 Speaker 2: You know when they get kids get a band aid 729 00:32:47,194 --> 00:32:48,634 Speaker 2: and it's been on for a week and it gets 730 00:32:48,674 --> 00:32:52,194 Speaker 2: all like the sticky stuff gets all over them. I 731 00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:54,314 Speaker 2: use the coconut oil to kind of just lift the 732 00:32:54,354 --> 00:32:57,354 Speaker 2: band aid off. No tearing, no screaming. It was quite good. 733 00:32:57,514 --> 00:33:02,754 Speaker 4: Look at you, Mon's, you're practically Ballerina Farms. 734 00:33:01,394 --> 00:33:05,274 Speaker 2: To get it is my beat. I'm recommending for you. Guys. 735 00:33:05,354 --> 00:33:07,554 Speaker 2: I heard you talking about how sushi use the new 736 00:33:07,634 --> 00:33:11,674 Speaker 2: chicken nuggets and everyone's going broke over sushi. If you 737 00:33:11,794 --> 00:33:15,474 Speaker 2: are a parent, who's ever thought, oh my god, we're 738 00:33:15,474 --> 00:33:17,434 Speaker 2: spending a fortune on sushi, I can't do this anymore. 739 00:33:17,434 --> 00:33:20,114 Speaker 2: There must be a better way. May I please present 740 00:33:20,154 --> 00:33:23,554 Speaker 2: to you the ten dollars sushi maker from Kmart. You 741 00:33:23,634 --> 00:33:26,554 Speaker 2: will love this thing so much. It's a kit. It 742 00:33:26,554 --> 00:33:29,834 Speaker 2: comes with like a plastic tube and a bamboo mat 743 00:33:30,114 --> 00:33:32,874 Speaker 2: and it's like a sushi bazooka. So you load up 744 00:33:32,914 --> 00:33:35,474 Speaker 2: the plastic tube with your sushi and then you just 745 00:33:35,594 --> 00:33:38,674 Speaker 2: like squeeze it out like a big syringe onto your 746 00:33:38,794 --> 00:33:41,634 Speaker 2: sort of norri paper and then roll it up. It 747 00:33:41,754 --> 00:33:45,474 Speaker 2: makes sushi very very easy. We've been doing it NonStop 748 00:33:45,514 --> 00:33:48,194 Speaker 2: since I bought it, and I would highly recommend what is. 749 00:33:48,194 --> 00:33:49,834 Speaker 3: Your preferred inards. 750 00:33:50,074 --> 00:33:54,714 Speaker 2: I just do tuna and avocado, that's it. But you 751 00:33:54,714 --> 00:33:57,074 Speaker 2: could put anything you with, chicken nuggets, cucumber in a 752 00:33:57,274 --> 00:33:59,434 Speaker 2: cucumber of abo. It's just it makes it so easy 753 00:33:59,474 --> 00:34:01,994 Speaker 2: and you can make tons of it for very little money. 754 00:34:02,234 --> 00:34:03,834 Speaker 1: But do I still have to cook the rice? 755 00:34:03,914 --> 00:34:04,194 Speaker 6: Yes? 756 00:34:04,354 --> 00:34:07,314 Speaker 1: No, say I'm out. I'm out. God in a world 757 00:34:07,314 --> 00:34:09,314 Speaker 1: where I can microwave it in a sash a or 758 00:34:09,314 --> 00:34:11,234 Speaker 1: buy it in the shop, I'm not going anywhere near 759 00:34:11,234 --> 00:34:11,553 Speaker 1: a rice. 760 00:34:11,834 --> 00:34:12,073 Speaker 3: Okay. 761 00:34:12,074 --> 00:34:13,554 Speaker 2: If you're listening to this and thinking you want to 762 00:34:13,554 --> 00:34:14,873 Speaker 2: give it a go, can I please give you my 763 00:34:14,953 --> 00:34:17,674 Speaker 2: top three tips. I've made all the sushi mistakes, so 764 00:34:17,714 --> 00:34:21,594 Speaker 2: you don't have to. Number one, use sushi rice. Don't 765 00:34:21,634 --> 00:34:24,194 Speaker 2: just use like the plain old calros rice, like the sunrice. 766 00:34:24,314 --> 00:34:28,394 Speaker 2: Use the proper sushi rice. Number two, use the sushi seasoning, 767 00:34:28,554 --> 00:34:30,914 Speaker 2: which is like sticky stuff that you put on the 768 00:34:30,994 --> 00:34:33,234 Speaker 2: rice so it gets all sticky and youm and sweet. 769 00:34:34,154 --> 00:34:37,394 Speaker 2: Number three, just practice, practice, practice, practice, and you'll get. 770 00:34:37,234 --> 00:34:39,594 Speaker 4: It to that point. Min's how long have you been 771 00:34:39,714 --> 00:34:40,754 Speaker 4: making sushi with it? 772 00:34:41,154 --> 00:34:44,993 Speaker 2: NonStop for the last two weeks? So The first ones 773 00:34:45,034 --> 00:34:47,393 Speaker 2: that I made were horrid, and then I doubled out. 774 00:34:47,434 --> 00:34:49,274 Speaker 2: I got good at it. I googled it, I read 775 00:34:49,314 --> 00:34:51,034 Speaker 2: a blog post about someone that wrote it, and then 776 00:34:51,034 --> 00:34:52,314 Speaker 2: I was like, right, I'm doing this. 777 00:34:52,714 --> 00:34:55,714 Speaker 4: When I lived in Japan, I was once at a 778 00:34:55,754 --> 00:34:59,154 Speaker 4: sushi restaurant where I was writing an article about it, 779 00:34:59,194 --> 00:35:01,754 Speaker 4: and I asked the sushi chef how many years of 780 00:35:01,834 --> 00:35:05,514 Speaker 4: training he'd done, and he like shrugs and is like eleven, 781 00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:10,674 Speaker 4: So you got to We've got ten years, three hundred days. 782 00:35:10,794 --> 00:35:11,433 Speaker 1: Last. 783 00:35:11,754 --> 00:35:13,433 Speaker 2: Okay, that is all we have time for this week 784 00:35:13,434 --> 00:35:18,434 Speaker 2: on Parenting out Loud. Can I give you a tip please? 785 00:35:18,674 --> 00:35:21,634 Speaker 2: Everyone is always looking for new podcasts to listen to, 786 00:35:21,914 --> 00:35:24,234 Speaker 2: just to try out, to sample, to add to their 787 00:35:24,634 --> 00:35:28,074 Speaker 2: repertoire in their week. If you think there's someone who 788 00:35:28,394 --> 00:35:31,514 Speaker 2: you would like to also hear smart Parenting Chat, flick 789 00:35:31,634 --> 00:35:35,194 Speaker 2: them the link to this show. We want more duds, 790 00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:39,913 Speaker 2: I think more like involved duds and smart moms. So 791 00:35:39,914 --> 00:35:42,514 Speaker 2: if she does, we'll take grandparents, We'll take aunties, will 792 00:35:42,554 --> 00:35:46,674 Speaker 2: take childcare workers, educational workers, will take teachers. You can 793 00:35:46,914 --> 00:35:49,074 Speaker 2: say it's personal development. You can put it on your 794 00:35:49,154 --> 00:35:51,154 Speaker 2: job plan and say this is research. 795 00:35:50,914 --> 00:35:54,034 Speaker 4: I'll take anyone. I'll take white collar criminals listening to 796 00:35:54,074 --> 00:35:55,274 Speaker 4: the podcast. That's the main thing. 797 00:35:55,474 --> 00:35:57,114 Speaker 2: We don't care who you are. Just come and join us. 798 00:35:57,114 --> 00:36:00,314 Speaker 2: Every Saturday we are here talking parenting stuff. So a 799 00:36:00,354 --> 00:36:03,914 Speaker 2: big thanks to our team Junior content producer Tessa Kodovic, 800 00:36:04,394 --> 00:36:08,714 Speaker 2: Senior podcast producer Tina Madaloff, producer Leah Porges, and the 801 00:36:08,754 --> 00:36:11,594 Speaker 2: group ep is Ruth Devine. Have a great week. We 802 00:36:11,674 --> 00:36:14,913 Speaker 2: will be back in this feed next Saturday morning. See ya, 803 00:36:15,314 --> 00:36:21,714 Speaker 2: Bye bye. Mamma MEA acknowledges the traditional owners of the 804 00:36:21,794 --> 00:36:23,994 Speaker 2: land on which we have recorded this podcast.