WEBVTT - Buddy & Jesinta's Free-Range Flex & Are You A Relay Parent? 0:00:04.120 --> 0:00:06.520 Welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast for parents who 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:09.760 don't always listen to parenting podcasts. We like to take 0:00:09.800 --> 0:00:12.200 a little LOOKI loo at the culture and the news 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:14.480 and the trends and go, hmmm, what do we make 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:17.840 of all of this? It's sort of what parents are 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:20.080 thinking about. I'm Monice Bowley. 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:23.840 I'm Amelia Last and I'm Stacy Hicks. I'm trying a 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:25.720 new thing this time. I feel like I always go 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:28.160 up at the end of my sentence, like Ron Burgundy, 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:30.800 So I tried to lower myself that time. 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:32.680 What did we think, vib I. 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:33.440 Didn't even notice. 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:36.480 Oh well, rude, Okay, that's the last time I try 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:37.640 something new for either of you. 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:38.640 Go on Monds. 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.800 Coming up on today's show. 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:45.080 There's a new solution for parenting exhaustion. You might think 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:46.520 that sounds good, but I hate it. 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:50.000 And I love it Typical Australia's favorite couple, Buddy and 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:54.000 Jacinta Franklin have run for the hills and I want 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:56.320 to talk about the new free range parenting fantasy. 0:00:56.680 --> 0:00:59.120 And we've got something for you to watch, something to do, 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:03.440 and something to buy. It's our weekly repos But first, 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:05.800 do you know when you hear it's the anniversary of 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:07.800 a big event and you can't believe that that much 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:10.920 time has gone past because you haven't aged a day. Yes, 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:14.920 like the beacons Field mine rescue was twenty years ago 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:15.440 this year. 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:18.119 It doesn't that make you feel Joe I saved by 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:21.080 the belief that nineteen ninety was ten years old. 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:24.319 Yes, absolutely correct, I will not hear otherwise. Well, I 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:27.800 couldn't believe it. This week, sixty Minutes ran a package 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:30.319 about the fact that it's been five years since Cleo 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:35.360 Smith was taken from her family's campground, missing for eighteen 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:39.640 days and then returned to her family in Wa. It 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.759 was wasn't it like it really captured the whole nation's 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:45.360 attention as a million dollar reward for that And I 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:48.720 think Australia held their breaths for eighteen days? 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:50.760 Really was that? How long? 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:51.160 It was? 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:52.760 Eight days? Oh? 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:53.280 My god? 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:55.880 And I think that's because we see these stories tragically 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:57.960 go such a different way a lot of the time. 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:00.920 But her family shared a beautiful update saying that she's 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:04.240 almost nine now and that she's doing really well, that 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:06.760 she does gymnastics and swimming, and they just said she's 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:09.600 like a happy girl and She's come so fast since then, 0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:11.079 So I just thought that was so nice. 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:14.200 Blew my mind. What I really appreciated about that was 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:18.720 that remember that indelible image of her after immediately after 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:22.040 she had been rescued, and she's in a hospital bed 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:24.760 with the ice block, with the ice block beaming her 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:27.640 beautiful smile. And I think it was easy for us 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:30.400 to look at that and go, Okay, everything's done and dusted, 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:36.400 Everything's fine. I appreciate that her parents, they're behaving, was 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:40.640 such grace throughout all of this. They're being honest with us, 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.880 but they're not infringing on her privacy. So they said, look, 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:47.400 everyone did see that photo and she looked happy and fine. 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:49.800 She wasn't fine. There was a lot, there's been a 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:52.679 lot to cope with a lot of trauma, and there's 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:54.360 been a lot of sort of two steps forward, one 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:58.280 step back, but the trajectory is positive. She is a 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:02.880 happy nine year old, And I thought, what an ability 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:05.560 to parent in such trying circumstances. 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:07.200 Yeah, because I think there was a bit of an 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:10.560 argument that should they be sharing anything about her now, 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:13.240 given what she went through in such a public space, 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:15.320 But I think they've done it as you say in 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:17.840 such a gentle way to share enough and say this 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:20.360 isn't an easy road, but to tell them all these 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:22.520 people that did care about her in that time that 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:24.079 she's doing well is just so lovely. 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:28.960 And it also diffuses predatory media interest because if they 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:34.040 preemptively put out this selected photo and this line, this 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:36.640 sort of press statement that says, yes, she's doing fine 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:39.760 and sort of satiates the public's curiosity, I think it 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:43.040 makes it less likely that the more predatory members of 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.040 the press are going to go after Yeah, totally. 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:46.720 Do you think it's going to be one of those 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:48.640 things that will pop up every five years that they 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:50.720 might have to just stay ahead of it for the 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:53.080 rest of their lives in the same way that Sophie Delisio. 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:54.840 I don't know if you remember her. She was the 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:56.960 little girl that was run over in the childcare center 0:03:57.000 --> 0:04:00.880 and suffered all those awful burns, and Australia has sort 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:04.240 of followed her along from the journey of child to 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:09.280 teenager to getting married and like the whole way along. 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:10.920 Do you think we're going to see another one of those? 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:13.400 I think that will be up to her Like they 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:16.200 seem like the type of parents that arelike, we'll put 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:18.800 this out and that's enough for everyone to know. And 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:20.800 then I guess that will be up to her when 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:22.960 she gets to that stage whether she wants to do that. 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:25.599 But yeah, so so happy for their little family that 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:26.360 she's doing well. 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:29.560 Another heartwarming. In case you missed it this week, you've 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:32.400 heard of pints and ponytails. Well now it's time for 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:36.080 pints and period The movement, which started in a London 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:38.839 pub to teach fathers how to breed their daughter's hair, 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:43.279 has expanded into an awareness campaign about menstruation. At a 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:45.600 session in May, father's learned what a moon cup is. 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:48.720 They learned how much blood is lost each month in menstruation, 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:52.240 which is about three tablespoons. FYI, I'm not sure even 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:54.360 I knew that, so that's I had to look it up, 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:58.320 which both seems like a lot in a little incidently, 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.400 but look, I think it's just great dads are learning 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:04.400 more and talking more about periods. One fact that really 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:08.120 surprised me in watching a little Instagram video about this 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:11.520 is that the periods are the number one reason why 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:14.600 girls miss school in the UK, which really shocked me, 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:17.400 and I imagine it's probably quite similar here. So the 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:20.120 more we can get dads talking about this issue and 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:24.200 destigmatizing it, the better. It reminded me that Prince William 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:27.520 was recently itself by Southwest London and he spoke with 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:30.279 Vivi Lynn, who's the founder of an ngo called with Red, 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:33.280 and they talked about period stigma too. So it does 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:36.800 feel like something's happening there. What's wrong with you? 0:05:37.000 --> 0:05:40.440 Are you really not cynical about this at all? Amelia? 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:41.520 No? Are you kidding me? 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:43.039 Why does it have to be in a pub with 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.239 a beer for them to be comfortable to talk about 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:47.640 mens duration? I don't just know, but I think what 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:49.479 happens if they get down at the dinner table and 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:51.839 have a conversation with your family there? Like, Wow, why 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.839 do we have I'm serious? Why do we have to 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:58.200 create a mask space so that men feel comfortable talking 0:05:58.200 --> 0:05:58.880 about stuff? 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:00.760 I don't think that twenty two years. 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.320 I think if they continue to do that in private, 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:05.800 then the same thing is happening when no one's talking 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:08.000 about it. I think the act of them being in 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:11.320 a public place, whether that's pub, cafe, whatever, and having 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:14.680 these conversations together with other men there isn't that the 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:15.840 part that's bread. 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.320 In your dad's top. Actually, did your dad just ask 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:20.120 you about it? Did your dad talk to your mum 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:20.679 about it? 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:24.479 Like, yeah, probably, but it wasn't really spoken about. 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:27.120 I don't even know whether he did. Like, you know, 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:31.080 I think we've come along, Yeah, society just in a generation. Yeah, 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:33.320 because there was a lot of secrecy around it when 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:35.880 I was growing up. Yeah, yeah, did you know I 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.760 lost well, yeah, but I don't know. 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:41.960 I just felt like, no, not really, it was just 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:44.600 a matter. It was just par for the course. There 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:46.560 were three girls in our family, and it was just 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:49.760 this is what happens, and everyone okay and away we go. 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.000 And there was no need to kind of create a 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:55.000 safe space for men to talk about icky women stuff 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:56.000 like what. 0:06:56.640 --> 0:06:59.159 No, I like it. If it takes a beer in 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:01.040 their hand for them to do great, well, I'll just 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:04.240 put it in. I'm sensitive on this because at their 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:06.240 previous session, as I mentioned, they did learn how to 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:08.560 breed their daughter's hair. I don't know how to breid, 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:13.640 so maybe I also need to go to this occasion. Yeah, maybe, Okay. 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:16.040 I want to talk about Buddy and just Ciner Franklin 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.120 because there was a profile of them in the Weekend 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:23.280 Australian magazine This week from Caroline Overington that I couldn't 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:27.800 have loved more. I frothed it so hard. The headline 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:31.800 was from AFL superstar to stay at Home Dad, Buddy 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:36.120 Franklin on his quiet new life And on the surface, 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:39.160 it's a story about what happens when one of the 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:42.480 greatest AFL players of all time, that's Buddy Franklin leaves 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:47.240 the game. So Buddy Franklin, and he's married to his wife, 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:51.240 Justina Franklin. She's a former Miss Universe Australia and they 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:54.120 have three kids, Tallula, Rocky and Bam. 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:58.520 The coolest names they just although today Ilen that see 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:03.080 as child is called Somersault and I think that wow, Yeah, 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:04.120 that takes the gig. 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.520 So the Franklins in this profile talks about how they 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.640 left Sydney. I've left the rat race of Sydney for 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:14.080 a property in Queensland where there are trees, mud kids 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:17.200 running around outside. And the article describes Buddy as a 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:22.440 gentleman farmer, nappy changer and bee keeper. And then there's 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:26.760 Jacinta and she's turning a beef in the pan as 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:29.320 she talks to Carolin Overington. She talks about how she 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:32.400 wanted a free range childhood for their kids, and she says, 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:35.160 we wanted to give the kids what we had running 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:40.520 around and climbing trees. The article is so delicious and 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:43.920 so evocative, and it's about how my favorite bits were. 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:47.000 There's the closest shop is a timber market stall that 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:50.839 sells avocados for twenty nine cents apiece, and how her 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.679 two older children, the five and six year old, make 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:57.800 their own breakfast and it's not just plugging wheatbicks into 0:08:57.800 --> 0:09:02.280 a cereal bowl. It's cracking rerange eggs into a cast 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:04.439 iron pan. They cook it themselves. 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:05.840 That gave me. 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:10.440 Anxiety, yeah, said like someone who lives in the city, 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:12.400 not on a beauty farm. 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:16.959 Now, some would say, and certainly Carolyn Overington made this 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:21.800 little link to Ballerina Farm, which is if you haven't 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:25.679 heard of Ballerina Farm, it's a US trad wife influencer. 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:29.000 Her name's Hannah Nielman. She has millions of followers, and 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:33.760 she sort of portrays this very humble homesteading family life 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:38.360 of homeschooling and making sour dough and sort of their 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:42.120 kind of family's adventures. I think she's got eight children now. 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:45.320 Caroline Overton makes this comparison in the article because it 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:48.320 is sort of lending itself to that a little bit 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:50.320 of that movement, a little bit, but just Sinta's very 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:54.600 quick to extinguish it. She says, not exactly like that. 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:58.080 But the health and wellness is something we could model, 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:01.360 eating good food, getting exercise, and being out doors. But 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:05.760 the reason I couldn't look away from this is because genuinely, like, 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:09.640 I really like these two humans, and they seem like 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:14.000 great soul of the earth kind of country people. But 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:18.960 also it just feels like the modern parenting fantasy of 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.000 what if we just opted out, What if we left 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:24.800 the grind, What if our kids did have gum boots 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.360 and trees and mud and cast iron pants to crack 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:31.360 eggs into? What if childhood could be kind of quieter 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:34.280 and slower. And so I wanted to know when you 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.120 both read this story, how did you feel? Did you 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:40.160 feel inspired or did you feel kind of like cynical 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:40.640 about it? 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:41.679 Yeah? 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.520 I did feel weirdly soothed by it, Like I think 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.400 these are two humans in particular that have so much 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:50.160 access to whatever type of lifestyle they would like to 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.319 live and the fact that they're choosing to do this 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:56.120 for their children. They could be jet setting somewhere every 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:59.720 other week, but choosing to have this really quiet lifestyle 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.960 for their children. And they also talked about in the 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:06.280 Peace that Buddy wanted to be near an indigenous community 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:09.160 where he can share that background with his children as 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.240 they grow up, which I just think is so beautiful. 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:14.640 But I think when we're reading it as someone who's 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:17.320 kind of in a very different circumstance, it kind of 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:20.400 feels like what I like to call the florist theory. So, 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.480 you know how like a lot of burnt out women, 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:25.280 I've said this before at some point in my life, 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:27.400 I'm just going to quit everything and go and be 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:29.120 a florist. Like I'm just going to be a florist. 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.880 They have the best life. It's so beautiful and whimsical. 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:34.640 And then when you really deep it, flories get up 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:37.280 at four am. Florists are on their feet all day. 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.880 Like the more you think about it, the realities of 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:43.320 being a florist are not as easy as one might think, 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:46.640 but you kind of romanticize it and it just feels 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:48.840 like that's what we do with this piece, Like I 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:51.959 see that. Oh yeah, I want to raise my children 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:54.640 in a field. But I also like knowing I could 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:56.720 get a delivery of a cookie at ten pm if 0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:59.440 I wanted to get one Like that, life isn't necessarily 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:00.440 for me. 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:02.880 Did you feel the same way, Oh yeah, there's something 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:07.120 so seductive about it. And I watched Australian story last 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:12.000 week featured Rachel Ward, the celebrated Australian actress who happens 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.679 to be married to Brian Brown, and she's made a 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:18.160 similar tree change now. Hers is in her third act. 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:22.080 Her two daughters are growing up, but she now runs 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:25.480 an organic farm in northern New South Wales, and of 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:29.960 course the images are just so beautiful and so captivating. 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:36.520 Her two daughters speak really movingly about how the country 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:40.960 gave Rachel a freedom that she never felt in the city, 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:44.880 particularly in acting and before that modeling, which were professions 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:47.640 that were so centered around how she looked. And now 0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:50.000 she's looking after cows all day and they don't care 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:55.360 how she looked. And I loved hearing from her children 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:59.199 about how they've seen her really come into her own 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:01.520 and by her own mission. She's never been happier now 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:03.680 that she lives out of Sydney. In fact, she spoke 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.160 about her life on the land fairly recently to both 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:09.040 mid and No Filter that said, there is a real 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:13.440 reality to living in regional and remote areas, particularly if 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:16.959 you're maybe not as well off and are not choosing 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:18.760 to do it in the same way as a Rachel 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:22.480 Ward or a Buddy Franklin and just into Franklin. That 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:26.360 hit home for me because the ABC ran this story 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:29.000 last week about how no one's moving to Tasmania anymore. 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:32.680 So basically a quick history lesson Tasmania got this huge 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:37.000 population boom during COVID because everyone was like, I want 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:39.400 to go and grow vegetables in Tasmania, right and have 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:44.080 the space and the greenery. Yeah. Started, yes, yes, and 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:47.400 then they all moved there and then this was typically 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:51.000 people with young families. But the problem is that for 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.440 young people as they grow up, Tasmania feels like a 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.880 place where there aren't enough opportunities for them, and as 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.800 a result, they're leaving Tasmania. So a twenty two year 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:02.640 old who was interviewed in this ABC story, she said 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:04.560 she moved to Queensland because she thought there were more 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:07.679 study and work opportunities there. You contrast that with a 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:10.200 young couple who were interviewed who said the reason why 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.560 they love living in Tasmania is because it feels like 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:16.160 Melbourne in the nineties, which is great for parents, not 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:18.880 so great maybe for the young people who they're raising. 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:25.120 Yeah, that's interesting. I feel like the Rachel Ward comparison 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:28.560 feels slightly different to me in that she's in, as 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:30.680 you said, Emelia, in the third act of her life 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:34.960 right whereas Buddy Franklin and just Into Franklin are in 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:39.280 probably the prime of their career right now. So this 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.600 move to opt out of nine to five, to opt 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:46.200 out of the grind and the rat race, feels very 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:51.280 much a deliberate kind of choice. And I was I 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:54.480 follow this guy on Instagram. His name's Eugene brand Stratt, 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:58.680 and he's this cultural commentator and he talks about the 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:02.160 movements of culture and brands and stuff in society. And 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:05.480 he made this point a little while ago on a 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:10.920 reel that I watched that childhood like has been rebranded 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:16.320 and natural childhood has been rebranded as aspirational like. We 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:21.160 used to associate status with private schools, private tutors, tennis lessons, 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:25.400 you know, activities, expensive toys, more and more and more, 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:27.840 and now in the last so in the last ten years, 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.960 optimization culture was massive, right, it was all get up 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:34.480 at five am, go into your cold plunch, grind, grind, grind. 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:39.840 And now he says, the new luxury isn't more, it's less, 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:45.080 it's escape. The new luxury is time. The new luxury 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:47.640 is being able to bow out of the system. 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:49.880 Yeah, I think that is what it is. I think 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:53.360 that's why we romanticize it so much, is because it's 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:55.520 what we don't have, Like it's the opposite of what 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.240 we have. But in doing that, I'm sure they've made 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:01.160 a lot of sacrifices too, Like, as you said, you're 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:07.800 further away from access to different schools, different shops, you know, 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.840 different different completely different way of life. And I'm sure 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:14.280 a lot of social opportunities for those kids as well. 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:17.680 So it is a big move to make, and it 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:19.880 might be something that I definitely think is for them. 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.640 They just look so at home and so when they 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:25.240 should be. But if you put me in there, I'd 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:26.280 be climbing the walls. 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.560 I just it was just so nice to read about 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:33.920 the kind of family setup that you don't often see 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:36.479 that much. It's just that real escapism. 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:40.160 So yeah, good on them. The Guardian has this series 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:43.640 called The One Thing That Works, which is a great title, 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:47.120 and this week they served us a controversial piece of 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:51.240 parenting advice. My husband and I created a simple, life 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:55.640 changing parenting rota, writes Catherine Chow. Catrin's husband is a 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.440 research scientist. He approaches everything in terms of charts and 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.960 quantifying and numbers and in a bit to be equitable. 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:05.520 When they first had kids, he had suggested dividing up 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:09.320 household tasks and chores. So far, so good, but over 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:12.040 time Catherine found that she was doing more of those 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:14.560 tasks and also they were taking more time for her, 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:16.960 and the mental lobe was something that you couldn't really 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:21.600 account for when you just divided stuff up via specific jobs. 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.520 So then he suggested, okay, instead of dividing things up 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:29.199 via tasks, we're going to divide up parenting via time. 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:31.919 So he would be fully in charge of the mornings, 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:35.200 which includes obviously breakfast, getting dressed, packing school bags during 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:38.760 drop off, and Catherine would do the evenings, which is 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:43.159 dinner and bath time at bedtime. Apparently this has worked 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:46.600 for them for years, and their kids are now very 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:50.159 happy and five and eight years old mons immediate. 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:52.520 Reaction, so many feelings about this. So we run a 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:55.439 parenting writer in my house swell only because my husband 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:57.919 works a different shift to me, so he works in 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:03.159 the later part of the day, so he's responsible for 0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:06.480 the mornings and every day I do the evenings. And 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:09.920 you know what, it's not equitable, okay, anither is this article. 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:12.280 I'm sorry that the husband has two hours in the 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:14.320 morning with the kids and she has six at night 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.600 like I do every single right, and I don't know how. 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:21.680 And also the husband in this situation and in mind 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.239 gets the kids when they're awake and they're fresh and 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.320 they're good, and all they have to do is get 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:29.359 dressed and eat their breakfast, and then you shuttle them 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:32.480 out the door to school, and there's probably an incentive 0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:34.480 for them to watch TV. Get dressed quickly so they 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:38.200 can watch TV before they go to school in the evenings. 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:41.800 That's a very different story there is that I've talked 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:45.760 about this before. That interminable time between school pickup and 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:48.760 the time that they close their eyes goes one hundred 0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:51.520 hours long. Yes, it doesn't feel that equal to me. 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:53.119 What do you think Stacey Mon's I. 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:55.320 Don't want to nitpick, but I read that bit differently. 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:57.600 I thought about it because she said that she picks 0:18:57.640 --> 0:18:59.840 up the kids from after school care. So I think 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:03.560 talking for him like six till nine am, and for 0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:06.800 her maybe five till seven thirty. If a kids go 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:09.280 to bed at an okay time, and plus you can 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:10.920 send them off to read a book or to watch 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:11.639 tv ID. 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:13.679 Do you think she's not the better shift send them 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:20.200 off to read a book at five pm? Stacy, I 0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:22.240 love it. I am pro WROTA. 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:24.639 I have done ROTA, but in a different way to 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.480 this and my household he is maybe this is your 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:31.200 solution to this Mons. It's almost day by day, so 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:34.320 you're on day, you're off day. It doesn't necessarily have 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.440 to work that way, but even in the early days, 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:38.439 when my daughter was younger and would wake up a lot, 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:40.560 you would have an on night and an off night, 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:42.919 so you're on the lookout tonight. You've got to keep 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:44.639 an ear out for when we need to go in 0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:47.119 and soothe her, and the other one ear plugs in 0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:47.920 and you're off. 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:49.720 Jude, is this written on a calendar? 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:54.000 No, No, it's just discussed before bed or like, who's 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:55.680 more exhausted, Okay, it's your night. 0:19:55.880 --> 0:19:57.879 You always delegate we one person. 0:19:57.880 --> 0:20:00.719 We always did this as yep, you have monitor, so 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.480 you have to listen out for the monitor. And even 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.520 as recently as our holiday, which I've mentioned five hundred times, 0:20:06.520 --> 0:20:09.359 I'm so sorry. When we went to Fiji, we did 0:20:09.920 --> 0:20:12.360 a roster to go to the adults only Paul alone. 0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:15.000 So I did one till three and my husband did 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:17.480 three till five. And before you say to me, but 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:19.480