Speaker 1: So much.
Speaker 2: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.
Speaker 1: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
Speaker 1: waters that this podcast is recorded on.
Speaker 3: I think this is just across the board for everyone,
Speaker 3: and it's definitely for me. When you do the thing
Speaker 3: and when you get the thing, yeah, you're going to
Speaker 3: be instantly happy. You know. Happiness is like sadness. This
Speaker 3: is a fleeting thing that comes and goes.
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to But are you happy? The podcast
Speaker 1: that asks the questions you've always wanted to know from
Speaker 1: the people who appear to have it all. Rob Mills
Speaker 1: is actually my boyfriend? No he's not, But when I
Speaker 1: was thirteen, I truly believed he was my boyfriend. Millsy
Speaker 1: was on Australian idol and he was a bad boy,
Speaker 1: which meant he sometimes wore eyeliner. The country fell in
Speaker 1: love with him, and then he came out the other
Speaker 1: side realizing he had been told who he was by
Speaker 1: audiences without ever having the chance to work it out
Speaker 1: for himself. You had that fame, you had kind of
Speaker 1: that external success. Were you happier than you had been previously?
Speaker 3: No, it was way worse.
Speaker 1: Now he's one of the biggest musical theater stars in
Speaker 1: the country. I chat to Rob about the experience of
Speaker 1: working out what it is you really truly want to do,
Speaker 1: achieving it, and then having the media bring the focus
Speaker 1: back to a fleeting moment from the past.
Speaker 3: I remember this article. I made an interview about me
Speaker 3: finishing the show and I was heading over to New
Speaker 3: York to go and do auditions, and the person that
Speaker 3: interviewed me hadn't even seen the show. I've done it
Speaker 3: for two years and the titles is ell of that
Speaker 3: Paris Hilton.
Speaker 1: We also talk about his relationship with alcohol, the mental
Speaker 1: health crisis facing men, and the magic of falling in love.
Speaker 1: Here's my chat with Rob Mills. Rob Mills, You're an actor,
Speaker 1: a singer, host and author. You've been a household name
Speaker 1: for over twenty years since your time on Australian Idol
Speaker 1: in two thousand and three. I was prime Australian Idol audience.
Speaker 1: I was absolutely obsessed. I had your poster on my wall.
Speaker 1: I would have been thirteen thirteen, so you're really knew
Speaker 1: your demo. I've told Gorgie, I'm like, you're dating my boyfriend.
Speaker 3: She did, Okay, it's fine between me. And Georgia contractual space.
Speaker 1: Since then, you've had a solo music career as well
Speaker 1: as primetime TV hosting gigs and a role on Neighbors,
Speaker 1: and have gone on to become one of the biggest
Speaker 1: names in Australian musical theater. You released your book in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two, and you're currently playing Shakespeare in the
Speaker 1: Australian production of Anguliette, which I saw a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1: That's the big picture stuff, bringing you back to the
Speaker 1: present moment. How are you right now?
Speaker 3: Right now, I'm pretty good. I'm having a sweet treat
Speaker 3: with some lovely humans here in the office. I was
Speaker 3: up in about I caught up with a friend this morning.
Speaker 3: Spoke to Georgie last night. When I got home. I
Speaker 3: was like, that was really good little FaceTime. We're living
Speaker 3: in separate cities at the moment. She's in Melbourne, I'm
Speaker 3: in Sydney. If you asked me this a week ago, mate,
Speaker 3: I was low as I've had this cold and sickness.
Speaker 3: I was off work. I was having a really, really
Speaker 3: tough time. If I've been brutally honest, I had suicidal
Speaker 3: thoughts for the very first time in like seventeen years Wow,
Speaker 3: on stage during a show, what I say suicidal thoughts.
Speaker 3: I will also clarify this as a fleeting thought which
Speaker 3: was clearly irrational. In the moment. There would have been
Speaker 3: a lack of food in my stomach because of the
Speaker 3: show schedule, but also just I was exhausted. I was
Speaker 3: so tired. I miss Georgie, I miss life. Like I
Speaker 3: work every single night. I give my heart and soul
Speaker 3: to this production, which I love so much. But at
Speaker 3: this moment of like, I just can't do this, and
Speaker 3: I was like, why is my body failing me? Why
Speaker 3: am I sore every day? Anyway, it was just this
Speaker 3: really crazy moment last week, Mate, and I got on
Speaker 3: the scooter on the way home calling Georgia. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: this is very hard. I just so I was a mess,
Speaker 3: an absolute mess. Anyway, the following day I was like,
Speaker 3: I probably just needed a really big cry, and I'm
Speaker 3: a big cry, Like it's releasing the pressure valve in
Speaker 3: your life and you're like, ah, cool, cool, cool, feel better.
Speaker 3: But at the moment, this week fantastic, And as I said,
Speaker 3: it's just obviously a build up over over time. But yeah,
Speaker 3: it was a really scary moment though, having not had
Speaker 3: any of those kind of thoughts for many, many, many years,
Speaker 3: and yeah, now feeling like, oh great, okay, I'm just exhausted. Sickness.
Speaker 3: Does that makes you feel very irrational, like a sleep
Speaker 3: makes you feel those things?
Speaker 1: You know this as a young one, Yes, And I've
Speaker 1: always thought that. I notice every time I get sick,
Speaker 1: like fluey or anything like that, I think I have depression.
Speaker 1: And I think it is actually like inflammation of the
Speaker 1: brain and that kind of thing, and you have to
Speaker 1: remember that it passes, but in the moment it is
Speaker 1: so distressing. In a moment like that where you're on stage,
Speaker 1: do you feel almost trapped by the stakes of what
Speaker 1: you're doing, like you can't stop.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean there's the moment on stage like at
Speaker 3: least I know I have the show. I can just
Speaker 3: sit in this character for a bit longer. The character
Speaker 3: gets yelled at by.
Speaker 1: His wife and you're probably like, don't yell met it worse.
Speaker 3: But also like I was, like, I just as I said,
Speaker 3: rational Robbers, like you're doing the pit the character, and
Speaker 3: then I see can't stop the feeling, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I got the feeling I'm like, I've got this feeling
Speaker 3: so funny feeling yeah, so funny, so strange. But there's
Speaker 3: also the security of the character. I suppose if you're
Speaker 3: not going out there, but doing the same thing over
Speaker 3: and over again, can sometimes feel a bit like groundhog Day.
Speaker 3: But like, luckily for me in this show, it is
Speaker 3: full of joy and wonder and love and hope and
Speaker 3: positivity and progressiveness. That's it ticks all these boxes you
Speaker 3: said about feeling depression of there's where they gets thrown
Speaker 3: around quite a lot. There are different levels of this.
Speaker 3: There as new ones to any kind of sadness or
Speaker 3: your ups and your downs. And I think if sometimes
Speaker 3: people forget that it's okay to just be sad just
Speaker 3: for a moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think it was that movie Inside Out. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: that really cemented that for me. I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: sadness just plays a really important role in your life.
Speaker 3: You have to have sadness or else you can't have joy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and they have to be best friends. Well, they don't
Speaker 3: have to be best friends, but you know, I mean, like,
Speaker 3: it's okay to sit in the sadness for a bit.
Speaker 3: If it goes on for a long time, It's definitely
Speaker 3: worth seeking help and talking to friends and counselors or psychologists,
Speaker 3: rabbi whoever you've got. But to diagnose yourself with depression,
Speaker 3: I think is problematic. And I think a lot of
Speaker 3: people go I'm depressed, Like go for a run. Did
Speaker 3: you feel better after the run? You're probably just a
Speaker 3: bit sad.
Speaker 1: And to acknowledge that it is just a state that
Speaker 1: you move through, yeah, it stead of I think the
Speaker 1: thing is when you feel really low, you tell yourself
Speaker 1: it's forever and you cannot imagine your mood ever changing.
Speaker 1: But the nature of being human is that we move
Speaker 1: through all these different emotions in a day, and they
Speaker 1: can be quite extreme.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and for the people who are struggling with that, definitely, yes,
Speaker 3: seek help. I'd put your hand up and say a
Speaker 3: should not doing so well at the moment, and then
Speaker 3: you might get some clarity from that. You're like, oh,
Speaker 3: I was just in a moment and now I'm okay.
Speaker 3: As I said, my thing the other night on stage
Speaker 3: was just a moment. As I said, I'm pretty self aware.
Speaker 3: Like I've done a lot of work with so collegists
Speaker 3: over the years. I've got a great psychotherapist. Now in
Speaker 3: that moment, I was like, yep, I was just having
Speaker 3: a moment and knowing that I had that moment and
Speaker 3: just knowing that I needed to talk to my person
Speaker 3: and talk it through was yeah, quite confronting, but also
Speaker 3: therapeutic for both of us as well.
Speaker 1: You were the heart throb of Australian idol.
Speaker 3: Oh thank you?
Speaker 1: Were you twenty one when you're on that chain?
Speaker 3: I just turned twenty one. I was twenty with my
Speaker 3: first audition. I turned twenty one before I went to Sydney.
Speaker 1: You go to Sydney, Well, I remember it's so vividly.
Speaker 1: What did the public not see about that experience? Like
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what the actual day to day reality
Speaker 1: was of being on that show.
Speaker 3: We were really busy, Like there was so much publicity
Speaker 3: and stuff that we had to do little stories every day,
Speaker 3: Like the producers were pulling a left, right and center
Speaker 3: to go and do stuff. And the singing was really
Speaker 3: the small part of it. We're saying for a minute
Speaker 3: and a half, And I found that really strange as
Speaker 3: a kid who spent the last three years singing in pubs,
Speaker 3: singing thirty forty songs a night, three or four nights
Speaker 3: a week, I only have to sing for a minute
Speaker 3: and a half. Sure, let's get a little bess Like,
Speaker 3: it's so weird that.
Speaker 1: It was only a minute and a half. Yet to
Speaker 1: audiences it felt like that was your whole week. It's
Speaker 1: really strange looking back on it, that it was such
Speaker 1: a fleeting moment and it would have been so easy
Speaker 1: to stuff up that minute and a half.
Speaker 3: I remember thinking like afterwards, like, you know, people talk
Speaker 3: about you fifteen minutes of fame. I actually calculated. I
Speaker 3: was like, it literally was fifteen minutes of singing time
Speaker 3: on stage. Wow, which is wild to be. What they
Speaker 3: didn't see probably a precocious, super inquisitive young kid. I
Speaker 3: think they sort of painted me a little bit as
Speaker 3: the boy next door, maybe a party boy kind of guy,
Speaker 3: which I kind of was as well. I also, I
Speaker 3: spent the last three years singing in pubs. I didn't
Speaker 3: really have weekends. My weekends were working. So it's the
Speaker 3: first time I'd ever been in a plane before, first
Speaker 3: time i'd like met all these new people, and I'm
Speaker 3: super extroverted, so if there's people around, my energy is up.
Speaker 3: So I spent so much time in the van with
Speaker 3: the director and learning from the camera guys, talking to
Speaker 3: the producers about what they were doing. I was super
Speaker 3: inquisitive about how they're creating the show. And as soon
Speaker 3: as I heard guy Sebastian Sing, I was like, what
Speaker 3: am I doing here? It's like, what, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to win? So I just remember going I'm here for
Speaker 3: the ride.
Speaker 1: What was it like to go on a show and
Speaker 1: develop this profile and then have people tell you who
Speaker 1: you are before you know who you are?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think it's healthy. Every time I've gone
Speaker 3: and talked to kids at schools like and performing art schools,
Speaker 3: whatever one teach workshops, and I get asked, you know,
Speaker 3: would you recommend my daughter or do you recommend me
Speaker 3: going on the shows? Like do you have a good
Speaker 3: sense of self? They're like, I don't know what that is?
Speaker 3: Is like no already. So if you have self confidence, great,
Speaker 3: But I always talk about self worth, which is just
Speaker 3: knowing what your value is or your integrity or your reputation,
Speaker 3: and like, growing your self worth will lead to your
Speaker 3: self confidence. So you know, read more books or like
Speaker 3: listen to music and understand why you like these songs
Speaker 3: or understand why they resonate with you, which is really
Speaker 3: difficult to know all that stuff as a teenager. I
Speaker 3: don't think your brain is quite developed yet. So yeah,
Speaker 3: my advice is always try and work out who you
Speaker 3: are as a person, which evidently will change over time
Speaker 3: as well, but when you're younger it's much harder to
Speaker 3: get it set. A sense of self, is it.
Speaker 1: Something that you have even going into something like Australian
Speaker 1: idol and the years before that when you're performing, do
Speaker 1: you experience any jealousy or competitiveness or comparison in the context.
Speaker 3: Of no, not, okay, how's this? This is weird not
Speaker 3: in the real world, but when I see it online,
Speaker 3: like if I'm on my phone, then I feel a
Speaker 3: pang of jealousy or like fomo or whatever. Wow, So
Speaker 3: it's really strange if I see it just in the world,
Speaker 3: like I see like a performer perform, like this is amazing,
Speaker 3: You're incredible. I never go I want to do that.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you are doing that, so that's okay, you
Speaker 3: are performing. That's fine. But like there's something about seeing
Speaker 3: it online. I have a weird reaction to it. Every
Speaker 3: now and again, I.
Speaker 1: Kind of get that, like if I'm seeing somebody in
Speaker 1: person and they're at their best. I have a weird
Speaker 1: sense of that's you. You do you, I do me,
Speaker 1: Whereas when I see something online, there's something about the
Speaker 1: flattened sense of reality where you're not really seeing the
Speaker 1: difference between who they are and who you are. You're
Speaker 1: just making kind of a snap comparison. Yeah, I totally
Speaker 1: get that good right, That's when I find myself feeling shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hadn't thought of that before. Yeah, you asked
Speaker 3: me that question, but yeah, I think that's a strange phenomenon.
Speaker 3: Hence why I've maybe deleted Instagram in the last week
Speaker 3: and I'm having the best week. I just I just
Speaker 3: don't care. It's not like I don't care, but like,
Speaker 3: I've got a great job. You know, the marketing team
Speaker 3: is doing a great job with the Angeliette stuff. People
Speaker 3: know what I'm doing the show. At the moment, my
Speaker 3: life is literally get up, do some exercise, and go
Speaker 3: to the show. A lot of people want to know
Speaker 3: how my day is. A lot of people don't want
Speaker 3: to know about my day.
Speaker 1: Because you grew up without social media, you were just yeah,
Speaker 1: and because I'm very grateful that I grew up without it.
Speaker 1: Have you kind of seen how that, especially in your industry,
Speaker 1: how that plays with how you feel about yourself and
Speaker 1: feel about what you do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a really weird one because most artists, entertainers,
Speaker 3: or people have a creative people have a sort of
Speaker 3: creative flair, but we also have this weird imposter syndrome
Speaker 3: that comes with it. It's like the double edged sword maybe,
Speaker 3: and I struggle with it at times. So like, I
Speaker 3: love being part of the team. I grew up playing
Speaker 3: team sports like baseball and cricket and footy and OZI rules,
Speaker 3: I should point out, And I love being part of
Speaker 3: the team. And a musical does that for me. Sometimes
Speaker 3: I'm the back pocket player, small bit parts. Sometimes I'm
Speaker 3: the full forward and being part of the teams are
Speaker 3: like I can't do my job without the lighting person.
Speaker 3: I can't do my job with that sound person. We're
Speaker 3: all cogs in the machine, and I like being part
Speaker 3: of that. Social media what it does is it's all you.
Speaker 3: It's just you. Everyone is becoming their own brand, and
Speaker 3: they see that's the only way to success these days,
Speaker 3: not so much this is the way to be famous,
Speaker 3: but this is the way to success. This is how
Speaker 3: you make your money, this is how you get free things,
Speaker 3: This is how you exist in the world. But like,
Speaker 3: is it because we still exist in the world's world? Like,
Speaker 3: how does that skill set make them a better person
Speaker 3: or connects better with people? And I see it across
Speaker 3: the board that so many are doing that at connecting
Speaker 3: with people and they're becoming a community of people. But
Speaker 3: I fear sometimes, Yeah, with social media, it just makes
Speaker 3: you more narcissistic and it makes you more individualized, when
Speaker 3: really we know scientifically it's been proven if you want
Speaker 3: to live a longer, happier life. Community, yeah, real community,
Speaker 3: real physical contact, real humans in the rooms together. All
Speaker 3: this working from home stuff is just dispose my mind.
Speaker 3: But like we need people, yeah, even introverts.
Speaker 1: I just yes, and I'm an introvert. But I think
Speaker 1: that idea of there's a selflessness that comes into play
Speaker 1: when you are a cog in a machine. I've noticed
Speaker 1: it in the workplace a little bit. It reminds me
Speaker 1: a lot of team sports, and I always say, I
Speaker 1: reckon you can tell people who played team sports when
Speaker 1: they were growing up, because when you're in a team
Speaker 1: and you might say to somebody, hey, can you fill
Speaker 1: in on that shift, like because so and so sick.
Speaker 1: And there are two tapes of people. There's the person
Speaker 1: who says, oh, yeah, I'm part of the team, and
Speaker 1: I see what the team is working towards and that helps.
Speaker 1: And then there's a person who's like, but that's inconvenient
Speaker 1: for me. Why would I do that? And and it's
Speaker 1: so interesting, and I can see in musical theater you
Speaker 1: have to be that first type of person. You have
Speaker 1: to be because you're working for such a long period
Speaker 1: of time together. No one wants to work with that
Speaker 1: person who's just in it for themselves, which is interesting
Speaker 1: because at the same time you're a performer and you're
Speaker 1: getting applauded at the end of the night.
Speaker 3: And it's should point. It's the only job in the world.
Speaker 3: We finish a shift and someone goes someone it's the
Speaker 3: weirdest jealous I just clocked off many years ago, and
Speaker 3: I think I still think it's a good idea where
Speaker 3: you go out and give standing innovations to people. When
Speaker 3: they finish, their job will be at the office and
Speaker 3: it will stand.
Speaker 1: Up and chairs, well done, well done. I deserve it.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day of parenting. If my
Speaker 1: daughter could just give me a round of applause before
Speaker 1: she goes to bed, that would.
Speaker 3: Be Well, they just put it on the screen, or
Speaker 3: like a have a flash mob of people that just
Speaker 3: come with chairs. They just get up with everybody.
Speaker 1: Everyone deserves. After the break, Rob tells us what happened
Speaker 1: after Idle when he performed at a concert I was
Speaker 1: incidentally at, and how getting the thing is not a
Speaker 1: recipe for happiness. We also chat about his frustration with
Speaker 1: the media's focus on his fleeing with a Hollywood celebrity.
Speaker 1: You've gone from Australian idol, you become a household name,
Speaker 1: you have a solo music career. Australia is obsessed with you.
Speaker 3: Well, I wouldn't say obsessed. The album only went goals,
Speaker 3: not even goals.
Speaker 1: There were a whole lot of people obsessed with you.
Speaker 1: How do you not turn into a complete nasist? How
Speaker 1: does that not totally?
Speaker 3: You can tell you right now. I've got two older
Speaker 3: brothers and older cousins, and we're a pretty tight knit family.
Speaker 3: Like I would say, my cousins are like brothers and
Speaker 3: sisters to me as well. So my oldest brother, Chris,
Speaker 3: he's very good at keeping me grounded. He'd never let
Speaker 3: me get too big for my boots and just kept
Speaker 3: it real. I would say sometimes to the point of,
Speaker 3: like you can actually just give me some complience, like
Speaker 3: it's just SOMEBM it's all be nice. No, but that
Speaker 3: was really helpful. There was a weird period though, where
Speaker 3: did I say my fame was lots, you know, during idle,
Speaker 3: and I don't think he knew how to deal with that.
Speaker 3: You know, you have a dynamic with your sister or
Speaker 3: sibling or whatever, right one of you is more alfa.
Speaker 3: You just sort of have the dynamic, right, And it
Speaker 3: was weird because I became the more popular person and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I don't sit well in this.
Speaker 3: I'm a beata kind of person, right, Like I don't
Speaker 3: know my personality, so I will fit whatever needs to
Speaker 3: be fit, kind of like Georgie, we're the pretzel, right.
Speaker 3: If you need a leader, I'll be your leader. But
Speaker 3: I'm a reluctant leader. But I'm much happier being the wallflower,
Speaker 3: joky person right than the leader type anyway, So that
Speaker 3: shifted for a while where I was sort of I
Speaker 3: don't know, knowing more about the world, but not knowing
Speaker 3: more about the world than my brother. And then it
Speaker 3: shifted back we started having kids, and then I was like, oh, great,
Speaker 3: you can now be the guy.
Speaker 1: You can be the grown up.
Speaker 3: You can be the grown up. And now we've got
Speaker 3: to an equilibrium of equalness, which is great. We talk money,
Speaker 3: we talk kids, we talk all the adult stuff, which
Speaker 3: is really really helpful. But yeah, there was a weird
Speaker 3: period there which had to be acknowledged, you know, years
Speaker 3: later with therapy. I was like, oh, cool, cool, cool,
Speaker 3: that was what was weird. And we didn't really talk
Speaker 3: about it until years later and go on our brother
Speaker 3: walks and you know, oh, yeah, that was a weird time.
Speaker 1: When you do have this really public success. I always
Speaker 1: think this really public success. I can imagine you go
Speaker 1: to like family gatherings and everyone's like, I saw you
Speaker 1: on the television, and you're getting a whole lot of attention.
Speaker 1: Do you think it makes people around you feel like shit?
Speaker 1: Do you think it made your brother feel actually?
Speaker 3: Possibly, No, he's pretty good at keeping his drive. I
Speaker 3: think he was okay with it. I think it was
Speaker 3: kind of like he would always say, you're my younger brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm not Mills his brother.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Your Chris brother, which was always good at keeping it real.
Speaker 3: We talked about this in the past and I think
Speaker 3: he's always been okay, well, I think he's pretty proud,
Speaker 3: but yeah, the family gatherings are weird because also people
Speaker 3: ask you questions and you forget you also have to
Speaker 3: ask questions, yep, yep. And I think I went through
Speaker 3: a period of that where I just talked about myself
Speaker 3: and this is probably through my twenties early thirties and
Speaker 3: started getting therapy. I was like, oh, you're not a
Speaker 3: good person. Not a good person, but you know, like
Speaker 3: if you want more from people, you need to do
Speaker 3: the work. It's weird because you're constantly on all the
Speaker 3: time when you're doing a gig or post the show
Speaker 3: or like and then you're like, I got I don't
Speaker 3: have any more to ask of anyone else.
Speaker 1: It's weird with fame because people have kind of a
Speaker 1: short it's like a a shortcut to intimacy, so people
Speaker 1: know a sort of surface level things about you, so
Speaker 1: there it's like a fast track to ask you certain questions.
Speaker 1: And I notice it even with industry things that it's
Speaker 1: really easy to go up to someone and say I
Speaker 1: heard you on a podcast and connect with them, and
Speaker 1: then you think, hold on, the person next to you
Speaker 1: is just as interesting as you.
Speaker 3: Correct and their plus one Yeah, exactly, all the plus
Speaker 3: ones out there bloody love for you. Yes, And you
Speaker 3: do a lot of heavy lifting yes for the friendship.
Speaker 1: And you think it's a bit dicky to kind of
Speaker 1: only talk to this person who you have this surface
Speaker 1: level of things that you know, did you find after idle,
Speaker 1: you had that fame, you had that external success. Were
Speaker 1: you happier than you had been previously?
Speaker 3: No, it was way worse. Like if you don't have
Speaker 3: a good sense of self, you know, and everyone has
Speaker 3: this sort of an idea of who you are and
Speaker 3: you're just floundering, like but you're like, yeah, you're this party.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm really not. And then you drink a
Speaker 3: lot and then alcohol is a depressant and then you're like, okay,
Speaker 3: this is also not good either. I don't want to
Speaker 3: beat this party boy. This is a very sad place
Speaker 3: to be. Also, no one knows who I am. I
Speaker 3: don't know who am I. That was when I had
Speaker 3: a pretty horrific moment if like that was the very
Speaker 3: first time I thought about maybe just ended Robert, just
Speaker 3: end it. When a hotel room in the Gold Coast
Speaker 3: at Indie weekend after I got kicked off the show,
Speaker 3: it was just terrifying, and we were calling my brother
Speaker 3: and just need to hear a familiar voice and really
Speaker 3: not knowing what I just felt, but it was definitely
Speaker 3: a That balcony door was open and I ran to it.
Speaker 3: I was like quickly slammed at short and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: this is a real panic attack, this is real. I
Speaker 3: didn't tell my brother what had happened. I just needed
Speaker 3: to hear his voice and he's like, yeah, I'm mistaid,
Speaker 3: Indy having a good time. It's going great. Never again
Speaker 3: will I ever lie to myself or yeah, especially to
Speaker 3: my loved ones. That's why I called Georgie straightaway the
Speaker 3: other day. So it was a happier No. Lots of
Speaker 3: things were happening, you know. We did a tour of
Speaker 3: like the Country and all the bigger I went, what
Speaker 3: an amazing concert, right, it was so much fun great.
Speaker 3: I was like it was just all these kids just
Speaker 3: it was so great. We sold out Rod Labor, like
Speaker 3: not as many times as Pink, but we did too.
Speaker 3: Sold out shows at rod Labor. Yeah, we got paid
Speaker 3: two thousand dollars a night. Amazing.
Speaker 1: You would have been like, I'm rolling in it.
Speaker 3: Oh my god? How much money did make.
Speaker 1: Off your path?
Speaker 3: Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Have there been times where there's been negative attention on
Speaker 1: you and you've felt it in your day to day life?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I still feel like a dick when someone mentions
Speaker 3: Paris Hilton, especially if I'm with Georgie or I'm just out.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, this is over twenty years ago for
Speaker 3: someone I was with like a day, Like, yep, do
Speaker 3: you want to talk about someone that you were with
Speaker 3: in high school twenty years ago? What is this for?
Speaker 3: Even if it's like a congratulatory thing, I find that toxic.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, it's like great.
Speaker 1: And quite sexist, dehumanizing to her yeah yeah yeah and
Speaker 1: me and.
Speaker 3: To Georgie, who's right here. Yeah that just always makes
Speaker 3: me go ah yuck. And I think for a while
Speaker 3: I was like, who am I with that? And I
Speaker 3: was like, I want to be someone. I want to
Speaker 3: be someone who's it has a good work ethic. I
Speaker 3: want to be someone who performs, who entertains, who makes
Speaker 3: people laugh, it makes people feel good. That doesn't make
Speaker 3: me feel good, Like I'm working towards making people feel good.
Speaker 3: Why are you? Why are you making me feel yuck? Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's the only time. As I said, that happens very rare.
Speaker 3: It's usually like in pubs around blokes. Blokes, please read
Speaker 3: my book realize that this behavior is, yes, not great.
Speaker 1: We often ask on this podcast about a time the
Speaker 1: world told you you'd be happy and you weren't. When
Speaker 1: you kind of hear that, are there any moments that
Speaker 1: come to mind?
Speaker 3: I think this is just across the board for everyone,
Speaker 3: and it's definitely for me. When you do the thing
Speaker 3: and when you get the thing, yeah, you're going to
Speaker 3: be instantly happy. You know. Happiness is like sadness. It's
Speaker 3: a fleeting thing that comes and girls. I was so
Speaker 3: happy when I got Wicked because it completely changed my life.
Speaker 3: But at the end of it, I remember this article.
Speaker 3: I made an interview about me finishing the show and
Speaker 3: was heading over to New York to go and do auditions,
Speaker 3: and the person that interviewed me hadn't even seen the show. Wow,
Speaker 3: I've done it for two years and the titles something
Speaker 3: about Paris Hilton, rob might be catchy up was like, no, Rob,
Speaker 3: it's not catching up with her. He's not even seeing
Speaker 3: he's going to New York. I remember, like I was
Speaker 3: meant to be so happy because I was finishing the show, like,
Speaker 3: and I was so sad. I cried the whole day.
Speaker 3: It was my last day at work.
Speaker 1: I was like, what is happening?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but going back to the other thing, Like you
Speaker 3: will always think that you were going to be happier
Speaker 3: when you get the thing, but you're not, And that's okay,
Speaker 3: you are you should also. Actually, Georgie has been very
Speaker 3: good about this because I have always lived in a
Speaker 3: gig economy, so you do the gig and then you're
Speaker 3: looking for the next gig. Always she's like, you got
Speaker 3: to stop and celebrate the wins.
Speaker 1: So when you do, like right now you're in Anguliette,
Speaker 1: there's something fascinating about being on stage, the adrenaline rush
Speaker 1: you get, the being the center of attention, and then
Speaker 1: right now, for example, are you living on your own
Speaker 1: while Georgie's in Melbourne?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Is there a bit of a calmdown?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm pretty lonely at the moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Facetiming Georgia quite a lot, and then catching up with mates,
Speaker 3: but there has to be early morning because a lot
Speaker 3: of them go to work. You can go catch up
Speaker 3: with someone on the weekend, but then you've got two
Speaker 3: shows that on the Saturday, and then you got to
Speaker 3: so you need to like this is that I'm extroverted,
Speaker 3: so I do need outside energy from people energy vampire,
Speaker 3: I'm not like that. But then you need to conserve
Speaker 3: your own energy for the show because you need that
Speaker 3: for the show to make sure you're not talking too
Speaker 3: much because you need your voice to sing. It's a balance.
Speaker 3: I think this will be my last one for a while,
Speaker 3: just because of life circumstances, and I don't think I
Speaker 3: can do the distance again. It's too hard. I've been
Speaker 3: in Singapore, Perth and now Sydney, so for the better
Speaker 3: part of a year we've lived apart.
Speaker 1: Is it tricky wanting two things at once because from
Speaker 1: the outside, yeah, it feels like you and Georgie are
Speaker 1: obviously two people who Georgie, for anyone listening, is a
Speaker 1: host on the project and is an established journalist in
Speaker 1: her own right, and both of you are very career
Speaker 1: focused and your careers are in two different places. I
Speaker 1: can't imagine what that's like to navigate every decision knowing
Speaker 1: that there's a very real cost. And I guess you're
Speaker 1: pursuing something that makes you happy, but there's a big
Speaker 1: component of it that challenges happiness.
Speaker 3: It's the and every psychologist will tell you this compromise.
Speaker 3: It's the common promise that you make with your partner.
Speaker 3: What is the common promise? What are the non negotiables
Speaker 3: or the negotiables? And do we need to schedule in
Speaker 3: time for us? What does that look like? Is it
Speaker 3: in a Monday morning, is it after the show on
Speaker 3: a Thursday night? You know? What does that look like?
Speaker 3: How much contact hours can we have do we need
Speaker 3: in order for us to maintain a healthy, lovely, sexy
Speaker 3: relate like we're still young enough to you know, like
Speaker 3: how do we do that bit of it? As well?
Speaker 3: Georgie said, do not talk about our sex less. I
Speaker 3: think I shared way too much in the last podcast.
Speaker 3: It's difficult, but yeah, it's writing your lists and scheduling
Speaker 3: your schedules, which is hard because we're both have schedules
Speaker 3: done for us, and then it's like, all right, what
Speaker 3: are our schedules? And that's yeah, that's so I was
Speaker 3: tough because also she needs downtime and I need energy, so.
Speaker 1: She's trying to relax and you're like, hey, hey, yeah.
Speaker 3: And then we talked about this with my psyche the
Speaker 3: other day, and I think this is really important for
Speaker 3: people who are doing long distance relationships or even just
Speaker 3: couples who can't spend as much time as possible with
Speaker 3: each other. When you come together, this is immense pressure
Speaker 3: to make it a thing that it has to be
Speaker 3: a date night and it has to be perfect, that
Speaker 3: it has to end in this most wild and passionate
Speaker 3: sex that we haven't had in ages, when really you
Speaker 3: shouldn't put the pressure on it, because what if it's
Speaker 3: just you just need to hang out with TV and
Speaker 3: eat pizza and that's enough. Was in Melbourne the other
Speaker 3: day and I reckon I fell asleep within half an
Speaker 3: hour being on the couch, like it was the best
Speaker 3: sleeve I've had in months. So maybe that's that's all
Speaker 3: you need.
Speaker 1: When did you know that Georgie was different slash that
Speaker 1: Georgie was the one?
Speaker 3: I think it was like after a couple of dates,
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, she doesn't like the thing that
Speaker 3: we're in like it doesn't not like it, it just is.
Speaker 3: It's not a I am not striving for more fame
Speaker 3: or celebrity or for more things. This is just part
Speaker 3: of my life, part of my job. And I loved that.
Speaker 3: I was like, you don't meet many people now that
Speaker 3: everyone's like how many followers, how many lives she get?
Speaker 3: How many the world's obsessed with social media and your presence.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, can't just be a job and then
Speaker 3: can we just do other stuff that's not online and stuff?
Speaker 3: And I don't think we even talked about it. I
Speaker 3: think it's just the way she presented her world in
Speaker 3: her life and talked about her friends. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: you're like me. You're just like a little nerdy, like
Speaker 3: he's just doing a good job and just wants the
Speaker 3: world to be a good place, and like you like
Speaker 3: good art and good movies and films. And I was like,
Speaker 3: and you think deeply about things and you write it
Speaker 3: down and we talk about her like, oh, and she
Speaker 3: sent me some books. You gave me some books to
Speaker 3: read while I was overseas. We started dating. I think
Speaker 3: within a couple of months. I was on an overseas
Speaker 3: trip with the Mate, which I was really planning on,
Speaker 3: you know, having a good time, and I, God, damn,
Speaker 3: I've been a really good one. She gave me on
Speaker 3: the Jellico.
Speaker 1: Road Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and The Perks.
Speaker 3: Of being a Wallflower and I read them on the trip.
Speaker 3: It was like, these are very good books. Like it
Speaker 3: was the one of the quote from Perks of Being
Speaker 3: a Wallflower.
Speaker 1: We get the love we think we just serve yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: And I was like, that's the one. Yeah, because if
Speaker 3: you think that you're not great, you don't deserve love,
Speaker 3: you're never going to get it, or we're going to
Speaker 3: get a yuck kind of love. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's you. Yeah, I think that was it. I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I found it.
Speaker 1: I found it.
Speaker 3: I'm crying, crying, thank you, thank you. See when I
Speaker 3: talk about tunny mm wh she's pretty cute.
Speaker 2: Hey, it's producer to Lissa here. There was so much
Speaker 2: goodness in this interview we had to split it into
Speaker 2: two parts, but don't worry. You can listen to the
Speaker 2: second part of this interview right now. In the next part,
Speaker 2: Rob Mills talks about his relationship with TV presenter Georgie
Speaker 2: Tunney and gives us a snake pick into their wedding planning.
Speaker 2: He also shares his thoughts on why it's so important
Speaker 2: for men to open up about their mental health and
Speaker 2: reflects on his journey with his own sexuality after years
Speaker 2: of media speculation. Part two of Claire stephens interview with
Speaker 2: Rob Mills is live now. There's a link in the
Speaker 2: show notes.