WEBVTT - The Biggest Mistake People Make In Therapy 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:14.040 You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:17.920 Mamma Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:20.599 waters that this podcast is recorded. 0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:22.480 On my therapist instead of meaning every two weeks, which 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:23.440 is strewmining every week. 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:27.560 Why is she so obsessed with me? We're like best friends. 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:28.800 I knew she liked me. 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:35.720 For Mama Maya. I'm your host, Ashani Dante. Welcome to 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:39.640 But are you happy? Because I'm fine? Is the biggest 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:40.800 lie in the group chat? 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:45.280 And I'm doctor Anastasia Hernus, a clinical psychologist passionate about 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:50.479 mental health and happiness. Have you heard of cognitive behavior 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:56.120 therapy or EMDR or integrative psychotherapy, or animal assisted therapy 0:00:56.200 --> 0:00:58.880 or couple's therapy or attachment. 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:02.000 Therapy, Anastasia, There's a lot of kinds of therapy out there. 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:02.600 On there's more. 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:05.240 Well, that's what we're going to be talking about today, 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.679 the biggest mistakes that people make in therapy and how 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:10.919 to find the kind of therapy that you really need. 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:19.279 This is really important. Let's get to it, okay Anaesthasia. 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.600 As a clinical psychologist, have you ever found in the 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:25.000 therapy room that you had a client that didn't quite 0:01:25.119 --> 0:01:28.479 understand the brief for maybe they just weren't the right 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:30.679 fit all the time. 0:01:31.119 --> 0:01:35.319 It happens all the time, and it's really important to 0:01:35.399 --> 0:01:39.280 have that right fit because the research tells us the 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:44.600 therapeutic relationship that a client has with their therapist is 0:01:44.679 --> 0:01:49.960 the number one biggest predictor of therapy outcomes. It's the 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:54.160 most important thing beyond the type of therapy that you're doing, 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:57.600 or you know, other features relating to the diagnosis, etc. 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:02.120 The therapeutic relationship between a client and therapist is the 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.200 number one biggest predictor of change. So it is so 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:10.200 important that you feel comfortable and secure and like you 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:13.280 can be vulnerable with your therapists. You've got to feel 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.959 like you've got that connection. If that's not there, I'd 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:19.200 encourage people to try seek out a different therapist and 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:21.080 see how that fit feels. 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:24.920 Do you find it sometimes when clients come, is there 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:28.040 like certain things that you don't feel comfortable with? 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:32.840 Yeah, So different therapists and psychologists will have different areas 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:36.880 of I guess expertise in the field, right, So most 0:02:36.920 --> 0:02:42.160 of us can deal with the more common mental health conditions. 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:46.960 So most psychologists would be able to help someone with anxiety, depression, OCD, etc. 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:51.680 But for example, I don't really work much with clients 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:55.440 who have eating disorders. That's quite a specialized area of practice. 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:58.480 It's something where you require a lot of upskilling in 0:02:58.640 --> 0:03:00.920 as a clinician to be able to do the appropriate 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:04.000 therapy work. So it's not an area that I sort 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.680 of delve into because I haven't done that training. So 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:09.600 we all have kind of different areas that we might 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:12.800 feel like we do more work in or we've upskilled in. 0:03:12.920 --> 0:03:14.160 For me, it's addictions. 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:17.440 I really love working with clients who present with addiction 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:20.400 related concerns. It's a little bit of a niche area, 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:22.440 and it's an area that I've done sort of extra 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.800 research and study into, so I feel quite competent doing 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:27.160 that body of work. 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:30.920 And it's really interesting you kind of speak into kind 0:03:30.920 --> 0:03:33.480 of essentially the criteria that's needed on both ends for 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:36.200 there to be a bit of like a flow. There's 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.520 a collaboration, right, And I know that you spoke to 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:40.840 that a few episodes back when we were talking about 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:44.400 therapy talk and how it's a two way street and 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:47.720 there's got to be the similar values and goals to 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:48.440 be aligned. 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:52.360 Right, Yes, absolutely, And I think that's where it's important 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:56.200 for a person who's thinking about seeking out therapy if 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.680 you do go to that first session to have an 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:01.440 idea in mind as to what it is you're wanting 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:05.040 to get out of therapy and treatment. At the same time, 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:09.560 the therapist will be assessing the match, right, They'll be 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:12.720 assessing whether or not they're the best person to help 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:16.800 you with that. So when clients call the clinic, we 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:19.200 do a little bit of what's called an intake, so 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.680 we'll actually ask people over the phone, what is it 0:04:21.719 --> 0:04:24.480 that you're wanting assistance with? Just very generally speaking, they 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.400 don't have to divulge a lot of information, but for example, 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:29.920 if they did say I think I might have some 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:33.000 problems with my eating patterns and body image, maybe an 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:36.599 eating disorder, then we would allocate them to a clinician 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:39.960 that does that work. Some of our clinicians, for example, 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:43.240 don't necessarily work with children and adolescents or parents. That's 0:04:43.280 --> 0:04:46.000 another area in which a psychologist or a therapist really 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:49.120 needs to be upskilled. So it's important to get from 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:53.000 the outset as best as we can that match between 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:55.400 what it is someone's wanting help with and the type 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.760 of work that therapist does so a question. 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.719 I have which I'm really curious about because I feel 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:02.560 like therapy it feels like it's a bit of this 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.920 muscle weaflex in today's world. It's like I go to therapy, 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:09.279 you know, look at me. Do you feel like everyone 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:10.240 should go to therapy? 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:13.240 Oh, that's a tough one to answer. 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:19.440 I mean, not everyone needs therapy, right, And I guess 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:21.240 like I want to almost like break down what we're 0:05:21.280 --> 0:05:24.000 talking about when we say therapy or when I say therapy. 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:28.800 Not everyone needs to see a psychologist or a clinical psychologist. 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:31.719 The type of work that I might do and my 0:05:31.760 --> 0:05:35.320 colleagues might do is quite specialized in that we're looking 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:40.640 to assess, diagnose, and treat mental health disorders. Right, But 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:44.680 that's a percentage of the population, not everyone. Then there's 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:48.640 people who want to better know themselves. 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:50.600 They want tools and. 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:53.960 Strategies to feel really solid in their day to day 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:56.960 mental health and build that sense of wellness and well 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:58.600 being within their lives. 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:00.360 And I think that's great. 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.159 They don't necessarily need to see a psychologist or a 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:04.760 clinical psychologist. 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:06.400 To do that. There's lots of self help resources. 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:10.480 They can see, counselors, psychotherapists, you know, there's different options, 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:14.480 So I think depending on what someone's wanting, there'll be 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:17.880 different pathways to go down to get that sort of 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:19.360 intervention or support. 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:24.320 So I'm thinking about people tuning in because throughout these 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:26.760 episodes across the season, you know, we've talked a lot 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:29.280 about different topics around mental health, and a lot of 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.560 the time at the end we talk about seeking professional help. 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.320 So I kind of wanted to speak to what would 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:37.000 you want to say to the people that are on 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:39.640 the fence around or do I do therapy? 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:44.040 I don't know, if you're questioning it, I would encourage 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:49.640 you to maybe first talk to a GP or a doctor. Right, 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:53.320 most of the referrals that we get are actually from doctors. 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:55.160 They do up a mental health care plan and then 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:59.120 a person can see a psychologist with some Medicare rebates often, 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:02.480 but a GP or a doctor can be an excellent 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:06.040 first point of contact to go through and say, look, 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:07.919 I'm struggling with my thoughts. 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.440 I keep thinking and I can't stop thinking. 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:12.520 You know, it could be as basic as that, or 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:15.720 my mood just feels off. I don't feel good when 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:17.720 I wake up in the morning, and a GP will 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:20.720 know how to do some assessing to ask the right 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:24.000 questions to be able to understand your experience a bit more, 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:26.320 and from that point on, they'll also be able to 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:28.840 give you a recommendation as to whether they think you 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:33.240 might need to see a therapist to work through these difficulties, 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:35.320 whether you might need a blood test to check if 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.240 you're low in iron right, you know, it could be 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.000 a lot of other things that might have sort of 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:42.040 a physical basis to it as well, or whether maybe 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.960 you need to see a psychiatrist and be assessed for 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:48.160 particular types of medications to assist with your mood and 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:50.720 mental health. So there's lots of different options, but a 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:53.720 GP can be a great first point of contact. 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.920 And I think it's really great because I think when 0:07:56.960 --> 0:07:59.480 in doubt, it's like, why not just get it checked out? 0:07:59.920 --> 0:08:00.120 You know? 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:04.000 So I really love that. So I kind of wanted 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:07.160 to talk a little bit more to kind of the 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.720 myths that are out there, or just an opportunity to 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:12.600 kind of shine a light on what are the biggest 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:16.480 mistakes in therapy, because I'm sure you've seen a handful 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:19.280 of lots of different kinds of people in the clinic room. 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:24.600 Yes, mistakes or I guess misconceptions about therapy. Right, I'm 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.680 like almost mindful about this word mistake being like a 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:30.960 judgment that someone's doing it wrong, Like you're doing therapy wrong, 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.760 you're failing a therapy. It's not that, it's maybe they 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:37.080 come in with sort of misconceptions as to how therapy works, 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:40.559 or misconceptions around what to expect from being in the 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:45.760 therapy room. So one big one that I've seen through 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:50.600 my years of practice is there can be a reluctance 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:56.880 to share. Now, fair enough, Right, I am a strange 0:08:56.960 --> 0:09:00.400 person that you've never met before, sitting across from you 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:04.000 in a comfy chair, expecting you to open up and 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:08.160 share your deepest, darkest fears with me. Right, That's that's 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:11.280 not a natural way in which we would communicate. 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.040 In the real world. 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:17.319 There's a fundamental imbalance in the therapy room that can 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:21.800 feel really uncomfortable for people who've never done therapy before, 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:26.200 and that is the client is expected to share lot 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:29.319 and lots and lots of information about themselves, and the 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:31.600 therapist generally. 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:34.080 Doesn't share very much at all. Right, it's not about us. 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:39.880 That dynamic is really unnatural in the real world. If 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:42.080 we're talking to a friend, if we meet an acquaintance, 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:44.880 if we're talking to a colleague, one person shares a 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:47.160 little bit, the other person shares a bit, the next 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:48.120 person shares a bit. 0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:48.760 And we build. 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:52.520 That's how we build a connection through shared vulnerability. We 0:09:52.560 --> 0:09:55.240 don't have shared vulnerability in the therapy room. It's a 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:59.760 different dynamic, and so that can be uncomfortable for people 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:02.000 at first, and I don't blame them for that, but 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:05.080 what it can lead to then is maybe them not 0:10:05.680 --> 0:10:10.800 sharing everything that might be important or relevant for the 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:14.040 therapeutic process. So sometimes I'll see clients. They'll come in 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:17.040 the first session and this is not uncommon. We'll get 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:19.439 to like the last five minutes and I'll be like 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:23.319 anything else, and then look, something comes out and it's 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:24.200 usually a big thing. 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:26.520 Oh okay, maybe we have to unpack that next session. 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:29.360 So there's this sort of like holding and maybe a 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:31.720 bit of testing the waters as well, just seeing how 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:35.680 I or another psychologist might respond to their disclosures of 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:40.640 personal information. So that's something that I see that can 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:45.040 sometimes stall the therapy process a little bit. But hopefully 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:49.080 it's our job as therapists and clinicians to help people 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:53.280 feel comfortable to set the tone for the therapy room 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:56.320 so that a person can feel like they can share 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:58.640 that personal information with us. 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:01.480 I like that you've kind of named the unnaturalness of it, 0:11:01.680 --> 0:11:04.840 because I think I know from friends who have gone 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:07.280 to therapy they do speak a bit about that. They 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:09.160 kind of just say, oh, but I want to know 0:11:09.280 --> 0:11:11.360 more about their person life, like I don't really know 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:14.160 anything about them. And it is true, it is very 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.800 one way, but it sounds like it's intentional. 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:21.280 Yes, yes, And I think the reason one of the 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:24.000 reasons that that's important is because A it's not about 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.679 us as a therapist, but b it's also not about 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:27.800 our experience. 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:28.200 Right. 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:32.679 So, as a psychologist, I've studied the science behind how 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:35.840 the mind and the brain works and how that influences 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:37.160 certain emotions and. 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:38.160 Behaviors, et cetera. 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:42.040 My work as a therapist should not be based on 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:45.160 what my life experiences have been and whether I've had 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:49.080 similar life experiences to my client or not. It should 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:52.720 be based on the science and the psychological frameworks that 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:56.000 I've studied that I know can help a person with 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:57.520 the challenges they're facing. 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:01.000 Okay, so what are some of the other misconceptions out there? 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:05.480 Okay, so the kind of holding back information avoiding that vulnerability. 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.840 I think another misconception could be thinking that all the 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:14.920 therapy happens in the therapy room. So sometimes we see 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:20.000 people come to therapy, they do their fifty sixty minute session, 0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:22.360 We talk through all the stuff, we give them some 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.960 tools and strategies, and then they leave the room and 0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:28.080 they come back next week. But not much happens in 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.480 the in between. And when I say not much happens, 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:34.680 what I really actually mean is not much changes. The 0:12:34.680 --> 0:12:38.680 therapy room is going to be one hour of your week. 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:41.880 But in reality, what we want to try and do 0:12:42.560 --> 0:12:46.000 is help people build the skills and the tools to 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.840 be able to make changes in their day to day 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:50.840 life outside. 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:51.160 Of the therapy room. 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.600 And so what this often comes with is some degree 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:58.480 of homework. I have mixed feelings about the word homework, 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.400 and I remind me of school. But it's like there 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:05.000 are some tasks, some activities, some practices for people to 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:07.120 do in their day to day life. 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:08.240 We could do all the. 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:12.360 Best talking in the therapy room. That's possible, but if 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:14.400 nothing changes, nothing changes. 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:18.520 And it's important because I can imagine that the real 0:13:18.560 --> 0:13:21.319 work happens outside of the therapy room, like the integration 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:24.480 the real life, you're in life as well, So I 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:26.000 can get how that's really important. 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.960 It's one thing for us to talk about how to 0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:31.720 manage a panic attack in the therapy room when a 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:34.280 person's not having a panic attack, but it's another thing 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.280 for them to go out and then apply those skills when. 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:37.920 They're in the thick of it. 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:40.720 Yeah, So what else? 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:47.240 Another one is clients may be feeling like they can't 0:13:47.680 --> 0:13:50.720 share their thoughts about how the therapy process is going. Now, 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:53.360 this goes two ways, right, I think it's really on 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:59.200 the therapist to be able to create a space and 0:13:59.560 --> 0:14:04.440 ask questions that invite feedback. So I want to know 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:07.840 if my clients feel like the therapy is working for them, right, 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.199 I want to know if they feel comfortable. I want 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.080 I don't know if they feel like they're making progress. 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.720 And so we as therapists have a responsibility to be 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:18.080 asking those questions and actively checking in with our clients. 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.440 But if there is something that someone feels like isn't 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:25.040 working for them, voice that share that. 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:25.760 With your therapist. 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:31.120 We need the feedback so that we can provide strategies 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.280 and treatments that work for you. I could have the 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:36.840 best strategy or solution that I think is going to 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.280 be great for someone, but if they turn around and say, 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:40.440 I'm never going to do that. 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:42.800 Then let's try something else. 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:45.960 It's like when we talked about in episode one with anxiety, 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:48.640 like the ice cold showers. Right, I could be like, 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:50.680 I have the best tip for you, and if someone's like, 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:52.760 you got buckleys of me getting in a cold shower, 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:55.760 I'd be like, right, let's try another strategy. So we've 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.320 got to work collaboratively. As you said before, collaboration is 0:14:58.400 --> 0:14:59.600 key when it comes to therapy. 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:03.560 Mmm. I love that. I think so often when we 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:05.720 look at therapy in pop culture, you know, it's the 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:08.280 classic when you're watching a movie, someone's laying on the 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:12.120 couch sharing everything. But I'm curious to know what is 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.400 therapy actually, like, what does it look like? 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:17.600 Well, I can tell you that I don't have a 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:21.240 couch that you lie down on, damn it. I've got 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:24.240 some comfy couches that you can sit in, like the armchairs. 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.040 Yeah, but not a lie down couch. 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.920 I'm afraid there's lots of different types of therapy, and 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:32.880 I agree that there's a bit of a misconception maybe 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:36.880 as to what therapy actually looks like in the therapy room. 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:40.880 Maybe I can give you a bit of a therapy 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.880 one oh one on maybe like the four different common 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.920 types of therapies we've seen, but also how therapies evolved 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.720 over time, so that people can understand maybe what the 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.120 best therapy approach might be for them. And look, that's 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:56.560 what a psychologist is there to do, to assess and 0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:59.800 also provide a recommendation as to what type of therapy 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:02.480 might suit you best. But I'll give a couple of 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:04.760 brief explainers of some common types of therapies. 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.280 How's that. I love that we're ready for therapy one 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:07.520 on one? 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:11.440 All right, so we go, so back into the ages. 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:17.000 The most well established therapeutic approach that we have is 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:22.440 something called cognitive behavioral therapy c BT for short, and 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:29.000 cognitive behavior therapy looks at our thoughts, our feelings, and 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:32.760 our behaviors and how the three of these are connected. 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.280 Right. Hence, cognitive and. 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:40.640 Behavioral CBT has a lot of evidence to support its 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:47.040 use for things like anxiety, depression, OCD, even eating disorders. 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:52.920 Lots of evidence behind CBT. However, CBT focuses very heavily 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:57.480 on change, right, how can you change your thinking? How 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.400 can you change your emotional state? And how can you 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:09.440 change your behaviors? Now, that is very helpful for some people. However, 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:14.200 if you come to the therapy room and you've experienced trauma, 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:20.040 if you've experienced chronic patterns of invalidation, if you are 0:17:20.120 --> 0:17:25.120 someone who's been given a terminal or life changing diagnosis, 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.760 walking into the therapy room and having a therapist say 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.600 to you how can you change your thinking about that 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:35.240 is going to be a highly invalidating experience. If I 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.600 come in and tell you I've had this traumatic experience 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:41.120 and you tell someone to change their thinking, that does 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:44.000 not land well, that's highly invalidating. 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:46.760 So the reason I say. 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:50.000 This is because there's a newer wave of therapies that 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:56.520 have emerged that focus on change as well as acceptance, 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:59.880 and we're always looking at how we can balance these two. 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:04.359 So we have therapies like acceptance and commitment therapy, which 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:08.960 is ACT for SUT that really focuses on how can 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:13.880 we work with sort of mindfulness based strategies to accept 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:18.280 our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviors. Now I'm going 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:20.000 to jump in I'm going to get I'm going to 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:21.960 get on my acceptance kind of ramble here and say, 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:26.320 acceptance is not approval, right, Acceptance does not mean that 0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:32.000 I approve or I like the experience. It just means 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:35.359 that I can sit with it and go it is 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:38.960 what it is. I'm having this emotional experience right now. 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:40.800 I'm not going to try and change it. I'm just 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:43.280 going to accept it for what it is and it 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:46.480 will make it pass easier. So we've got our acceptance 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:52.880 and commitment therapy. Then we have DBT dialectical behavior therapy 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:57.680 that again focuses on that balance between acceptance and change. 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:00.560 And this specific type of therapy is quite useful for 0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:07.119 people who have conditions like complex trauma, borderline personality disorder, 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:13.520 addiction concerns, some eating disorder, and sort of chronic experiences 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:17.919 of emotions that feel out of control, emotion dysregulation. And 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:21.200 then one more I'll touch on is EMDR. This is 0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:23.800 a newer type of therapy. It's quite popular at the 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:30.359 moment for the right people. I Movement Desensitization and reprocessing EMDR. 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:32.880 It's a bit of a mouthful, it is, but this 0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:36.040 has been really developed to help people who are trying 0:19:36.120 --> 0:19:42.000 to recover from traumatic experiences that they've had through utilizing 0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:45.480 sort of eye movements to reprocess traumatic memories. 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:47.879 There really is a lot of different kinds of therapy, 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:48.400 isn't there? 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:52.240 And there's more, but these are anight. 0:19:51.120 --> 0:19:54.200 Now and those are the most with like the most 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:55.560 evidence as well. 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:57.480 Yes, there's some other therapies. 0:19:57.520 --> 0:20:00.240 There's scheme of therapy for example, there's other therapies that 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:03.800 do have evidence behind them. And again, I think there 0:20:04.000 --> 0:20:06.199 can be some benefit in trying to do a bit 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:08.920 of homework and research around these different type of therapies 0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:10.919 if you think one might be benefit issue for you. 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:15.160 But ultimately it's a conversation to have with your psychologist 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:19.000 or with your therapist, because based on an assessment, they 0:20:19.040 --> 0:20:21.520 will be able to determine what they think is the 0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:22.600 best fit for you. 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:26.680 So what about couple's therapy, Like, what are the common 0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:28.600 misconceptions that can happen there? 0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:33.200 Well, probably one of the most common things I see 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:37.280 is that one person in the relationship will come to 0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:42.879 a psychologist like myself wanting help with the relationship. So 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:45.119 they'll come into the room, they'll tell me about the 0:20:45.120 --> 0:20:47.960 struggles that they're having in the relationship and they want 0:20:48.040 --> 0:20:51.720 some advice or guidance or tools and strategies as to 0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:56.840 how to make things better. Now, we can do that 0:20:57.240 --> 0:21:01.160 to a degree, but ultimately that's a situation where couple's 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:03.800 therapy is going to be more beneficial. And I often 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:05.600 say that to the person. I'll say, look, we can 0:21:05.720 --> 0:21:09.399 work one on one to help upskill you with the 0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:12.720 strategies until that might be helpful for you. However, one, 0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:16.119 it may have limited effect because the other person in 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:20.880 your relationship is not here. And second, it might end 0:21:20.960 --> 0:21:24.639 up feeling like the onus is all on you to 0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:27.960 then try and fix the problems in the relationship because 0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:30.800 you're the only one here in the therapy room getting 0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:33.760 the tools and the strategies and the guidance around it. 0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:36.240 So you might end up feeling like you're carrying the 0:21:36.280 --> 0:21:41.280 load of trying to repair or improve the relationship, and 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:43.240 that's not going to feel particularly fair on you. So 0:21:43.280 --> 0:21:46.919 I think that's a misconception that I see where people 0:21:47.000 --> 0:21:50.680 come in wanting to fix a relationship, but they're not there. 0:21:50.440 --> 0:21:51.159 With their partner. 0:21:53.120 --> 0:21:55.399 I wanted to quickly out on that because I've definitely 0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:58.439