Speaker 1: We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land we're recording
Speaker 1: on today.
Speaker 2: Hybra wants to make friends, but they don't want to
Speaker 2: eat their house like we'll.
Speaker 3: Put the culture of making means about like, oh that
Speaker 3: feeling when someone cancels dinner.
Speaker 2: I get it, but you're not going to make friends
Speaker 2: by sitting at home by yourself on.
Speaker 1: TikTok, Hello and welcome back to Eat, Sleep, Shit Repeat.
Speaker 1: You're on a Hinge podcast all about the madness that
Speaker 1: is motherhood and everything in between.
Speaker 2: I'm Kyrisels, I'm Kelly mccaren and I love but twen
Speaker 2: Key is leading.
Speaker 1: I know, so do I I'm feeling control.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm just so lazy. I really, really,
Speaker 3: really love just sitting back and just letting the good
Speaker 3: times roll.
Speaker 1: Also, if our audio sounds a bit off, this week,
Speaker 1: we are doing a remote record, so sorry about that,
Speaker 1: but we've got to make a podcast. You got to
Speaker 1: keep going even though you're sick.
Speaker 2: In case you missed it, in last week's episode, we
Speaker 2: had a good old agi bargie about some polarizing parenting
Speaker 2: topics hitting the headlines recently.
Speaker 1: I just want to say it is so nice to
Speaker 1: have a nice debate and understand each other's viewpoints.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know me, I can get bored in
Speaker 2: conversations quite easily. That is one way to keep me
Speaker 2: so interested. I absolutely froth a good debate. As soon
Speaker 2: as I find out that someone disagrees with me about something,
Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, sir, I just genuinely find the conversation
Speaker 2: so much more fun. Like, I don't know, it's nice
Speaker 2: to challenge your viewpoint my own viewpoints, yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 2: make me think I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: Well, it's my life's work. I'm on the show today.
Speaker 1: Qacon so.
Speaker 2: Long seriously that song ever since people didn't show up
Speaker 2: to my birthday party that time. And that's what Luke
Speaker 2: thinks is really funny to play when I share that store.
Speaker 3: Honestly, Luke is forever my favorite.
Speaker 1: So Kel, you did a call out to our lovely shitters.
Speaker 1: You were asking for topics that we should be talking
Speaker 1: about on the pod and loneliness and struggling to make friends.
Speaker 1: We submitted by quite a few of our shitters. So
Speaker 1: today we're going to delve into this, give you some
Speaker 1: tips and even a resource that's actually right in front
Speaker 1: of you.
Speaker 3: But first, Key it is your turn to do peek
Speaker 3: and pit.
Speaker 1: Oh god, yeah it is. It is my turn, So Sadden, don't.
Speaker 2: You love like me when it's my turn? I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: here's six topics. I know, I think you have to
Speaker 2: winge about six things to brag about.
Speaker 1: I've actually got a couple of peaks because I have
Speaker 1: leaned on your kind of way of doing things. But
Speaker 1: I've only got one pit, and that is that Rue
Speaker 1: was sick for days, seven days of sickness, and it
Speaker 1: had been a.
Speaker 3: While every time, like yeah.
Speaker 1: It was intense too, and like she went down on
Speaker 1: the Monday and I was just like great because it
Speaker 1: was like fever of like thirty eight point five and
Speaker 1: then it went up to thirty nine point three at
Speaker 1: one stage. So I was like, okay, so let's settle
Speaker 1: in here for quite a long sickness. And it was
Speaker 1: just relentless, Like it was lucky that the fever was
Speaker 1: like easily managed with drugs, but my god, as the
Speaker 1: drugs wore off or the meds wore off, she would
Speaker 1: just be so feral. And the tantrums, the tantrums that
Speaker 1: came with it, I don't know, I guess because they're
Speaker 1: more expressive in the way and they feel things. They're bored.
Speaker 1: But it was so funny, because what's it? What funny?
Speaker 1: I actually feel really bad about this. I did. Rue
Speaker 1: did give this to her bestie, Goldie, so we didn't
Speaker 1: know that Rue was sick, but we were over at
Speaker 1: their house on the Sunday we went down.
Speaker 2: How you just change that because you're like, it was
Speaker 2: so funny. Oh, it wasn't funny.
Speaker 1: It wasn't that funny. Goldie went down on the Wednesday.
Speaker 1: But it was just so funny because Beck and I
Speaker 1: we're messaging each other, it's like, hey, she's being real
Speaker 1: feral when she's not drugged up and oh fat. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it was awful, but it is kind of nice going
Speaker 1: through it with someone at the same time. But just
Speaker 1: her newborn now has it, so I'm just like, God,
Speaker 1: we can't see them for like a month until I work.
Speaker 3: Off that embarrassment of making their whole family sick and
Speaker 3: including the newborn. Likeily, she's not muting, she's not fresh's she's.
Speaker 1: Not she's vaccinated, and gold has been bringing home stuff
Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, you know, but the cherry on the
Speaker 1: top of that cake is that I am now sick,
Speaker 1: which was fantastic.
Speaker 2: Why we are remote, that's it. But it did kind
Speaker 2: of work out. I mean, I'm such a bad friend
Speaker 2: because he's like, Oh, you're going to be so cranky
Speaker 2: about this, I can't come today.
Speaker 3: We'll have to do it remote. And I was like,
Speaker 3: works for me.
Speaker 2: My house is a disaster, and I messaged you in
Speaker 2: warning yesterday that we were going to have to find
Speaker 2: a new spot to recall.
Speaker 1: But I was like, maybe we should change it up
Speaker 1: and get a little let's change it.
Speaker 2: But even the lounge room, there's just cars everywhere, which
Speaker 2: is you know, on brand.
Speaker 1: But it's on brand absolutely. I mean if it was
Speaker 1: something else everywhere, maybe something different, but cars, it's one
Speaker 1: brand for us. All right, peak, let's get into it.
Speaker 1: So I've actually got a few peaks. We had ruse
Speaker 1: daycare orientation for the shitters. A little update here Rue
Speaker 1: we'll be going to daycare with Goldiet next year. Have
Speaker 1: made the decision, dropped out the other day care and
Speaker 1: we had our orientation. It was so sweet. We basically
Speaker 1: just went and you could go into the classroom and
Speaker 1: sit down and play. They had like playto out and
Speaker 1: coloring stuff out and then they gave them this little
Speaker 1: book when we left, and it's because we had to
Speaker 1: send photos in and it's all about Ru's first day
Speaker 1: at her daycare, and there's pictures to kind of show
Speaker 1: her where she's going to be, putting her bag, her
Speaker 1: drink bottle, what kind of activities they do, what the
Speaker 1: educator's names are. So I just thought that was so lovely.
Speaker 1: And it's like night and day from any other orientation
Speaker 1: I've ever had before. So it's just kind of confirmed that, right, Ksta. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the girls are just so bloody excited to be
Speaker 1: going together, Like we told them, like, you guys are
Speaker 1: going to go to school each other next year, and
Speaker 1: they're like what So they can't of get it, but
Speaker 1: they don't, but they seemed thrilled.
Speaker 2: And when they're in a bad mood and don't want
Speaker 2: to go to daycare, it just makes it so good
Speaker 2: to be able to be like, oh, but Goldie will
Speaker 2: be there, like that's not I'll be like waiting for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. I mean we Beck and I both use
Speaker 1: this now. It's like ru'se at home waiting for you
Speaker 1: or gold is at home waiting for you. They're not
Speaker 1: We're not going to see each other probably till the
Speaker 1: weekend or maybe not at all this week. But we
Speaker 1: them lie. Yes, yes we do. Oh my child.
Speaker 3: It's luding topic because I get so cranky at Luke
Speaker 3: for lying to Lenny.
Speaker 2: No, I lie and exaggeration is fine, but I outright refuse.
Speaker 1: The other day, I was like, do you want to
Speaker 1: get sushi? And she was like, yeah, let's go. And
Speaker 1: I got her into the car and she's like, so
Speaker 1: sushi and I'm like, oh no, it's shut because we
Speaker 1: took too long getting into the car. Shut now. So
Speaker 1: that's my little trick sushi. I reckon that.
Speaker 2: It's fine, but you know, I'm going to have words
Speaker 2: with you and beck you that's not happy about that,
Speaker 2: not happy about that parenting decision.
Speaker 1: You know, look, it's not our finest moment, but my gosh,
Speaker 1: when it works, it's saving us.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's very relatable. Everyone at home is
Speaker 3: probably shut up, Kelly. I do it too.
Speaker 1: I'm a liar, Let me live, shut up, let me live,
Speaker 1: let me lie. So my other peak is a personal peak,
Speaker 1: which is related to motherhood and parenting. Because this pregnancy
Speaker 1: get out my little tiny island. Yeah, it's been awful.
Speaker 1: We've talked about it. I've harped on about it so
Speaker 1: much to death right but.
Speaker 3: Out of her Soon she'll shut it out.
Speaker 1: Get it out so she can stop complaining. I this
Speaker 1: week finally started some pregnancy friendly polaries, and so I
Speaker 1: had a good stint before I got sick, which is good.
Speaker 1: But my god, it was like I wasn't beeping people
Speaker 1: when I was driving. I wasn't angry. I just wasn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't have this kind of like short fuse that
Speaker 1: I've been having for the last you know. However many
Speaker 1: weeks I felt myself like really relax and just happy,
Speaker 1: and it's in dolphins. It's like getting back into routine
Speaker 1: and it's just having a bit of control over my
Speaker 1: body and my life. I'm feeling has been really productive
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 3: So I just need to share it.
Speaker 1: And now I'm sick. I'm trying not to spiral about
Speaker 1: being sick, but honestly, I'm just so relieved to be
Speaker 1: able to be moving my body. And it's actually wonderful
Speaker 1: to see how strong you can get so quickly, you know,
Speaker 1: because I think.
Speaker 3: Especially you've got really good muscle memory.
Speaker 2: Because yeah, exactly exercise so consistently for so much of
Speaker 2: your life, and.
Speaker 1: I know, like for anyone, I feel like this is
Speaker 1: really relatable, Like when you have been not exercising for
Speaker 1: a while for whatever reasons that are like legitimate reasons.
Speaker 1: Sometimes getting back into it, it's getting like over that
Speaker 1: mental hurdle of I'm going to be so shit. It's yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't.
Speaker 2: Want to be like a really unfit person. Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: where I'm currently at, to be honest, and that I.
Speaker 1: Will just tell you just go because the payoff of going,
Speaker 1: that all melts away, like the fear of being unfit
Speaker 1: or being shit at something. And then what's really cool
Speaker 1: to see is just how quickly you kind of get
Speaker 1: back into things. Like I just felt like I couldn't
Speaker 1: even bloody touch my toes the first class because it's
Speaker 1: Matt Polatt's that I'm doing, which I'm not very good at.
Speaker 1: I've never really done Matt Polattis, so it's a bit
Speaker 1: of a challenge. And I'm so not flexible, Like all
Speaker 1: my muscles are so tight. You can imagine I've been
Speaker 1: sitting a sedentary for six months. But you know, in
Speaker 1: a few classes it was a little bit easy to
Speaker 1: get down there still. You know, I was bending my knees,
Speaker 1: but you know, you can feel things starting to loosen up.
Speaker 1: So just little things and all of those things make
Speaker 1: you feel just like you're kind of killing it, and
Speaker 1: such little things, you know, and I don't know, just
Speaker 1: to sweat, get the heart rate up. I was like,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh god, it feels good to
Speaker 1: guess for some good.
Speaker 3: That's me.
Speaker 2: You want to because I did join a new gym
Speaker 2: about a month ago.
Speaker 3: Okay, I haven't gone.
Speaker 1: That's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 2: I'm scared to go because I don't want to be
Speaker 2: the wildly unfit person.
Speaker 3: But you know what, though I can't be that unfit.
Speaker 3: I do netball. I play center in netball.
Speaker 1: And also it's a new gym. No one knows you.
Speaker 1: You know, you can pretend that you've like never been
Speaker 1: to a gym before, but I don't know. You love
Speaker 1: to do the cycle. You could do a little stand
Speaker 1: up on the bick or something.
Speaker 3: I don't like to do cycle.
Speaker 1: You're always like, I'm sitting down editing and I'm like,
Speaker 1: shut up, but.
Speaker 3: Yes, sorry, sorry, shut up. That was a secret between us.
Speaker 3: I'll be likeasking that you'll go to the gym.
Speaker 2: He's like, she literally just sits on the old person
Speaker 2: bike and the one that you always see the cute
Speaker 2: little grannies on and.
Speaker 3: Edits or like shops. That's what not drop a bike,
Speaker 3: the one that's like a set o.
Speaker 2: I sit back, I relax, basically have a snack. But
Speaker 2: that is a very good tip. Also, I'll do my
Speaker 2: little thing. I've done this when I did another class
Speaker 2: a couple of like a year ago, I.
Speaker 3: Just was like, Oh, I've recently given birth. I hadn't
Speaker 3: you know. So then everyone was like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: you're so impressive that you're here.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, do whatever you need to to get you
Speaker 2: comfortable in that room yesterday not being able to do things.
Speaker 2: So in twenty twenty three, a report came out called
Speaker 2: the State of the Nation.
Speaker 1: Some people might be familiar with it. I can't say
Speaker 1: I am rang a little bit of a bell, but anyway,
Speaker 1: it's a report on social connection and Australia and it
Speaker 1: found that one in three Australians report loneliness at any
Speaker 1: given time, and that one in six Australians reports severe
Speaker 1: levels of loneliness. So those numbers are quite shocking. I
Speaker 1: always like to think about like six of my friends.
Speaker 1: That's how it makes sense to me those numbers. People
Speaker 1: who are smarter can probably get the impacting pence exactly.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, fuck one of my six friends. It's
Speaker 1: probably me to be fair in that scenario. But loneliness
Speaker 1: it might seem a little bit I don't know, further
Speaker 1: down the list of things of importance when we're like,
Speaker 1: you know, up against climate change and Trump being president again,
Speaker 1: but it's actually really important. Social connection is crucial for
Speaker 1: us as human beings, so much so that last year
Speaker 1: the World Health Organization so WHO they declared loneliness to
Speaker 1: be a pressing global threat with consequences that are still underrecognized.
Speaker 1: And in an interview with the ABC, Dr Jasmine Viagara,
Speaker 1: so she works at WHO, said prolonged social isolation and
Speaker 1: loneliness is as bad for the human body as smoking
Speaker 1: fifteen cigarettes a day.
Speaker 3: Oh, come off it, Kelly.
Speaker 1: Those who lack social connection are at a higher risk
Speaker 1: of developing depression, anxiety, dementia, cardiovascular disease, and stroke. But
Speaker 1: this is the thing which I couldn't find many, if
Speaker 1: any studies really on parenting. I found one statistic kind
Speaker 1: of out of that state of the nation. Of those
Speaker 1: people who felt lonely, they were like twenty five point
Speaker 1: five percent with parents. But there are a lot of
Speaker 1: studies that have been done internationally, and I just think
Speaker 1: I've read through a lot of them, and it's clear
Speaker 1: that when you add early parenting, so looking after little
Speaker 1: kids or young kids, and the impact of modern parenting,
Speaker 1: so the careers of parents getting back to work changes,
Speaker 1: and your friendships and your relationships, and the fact that
Speaker 1: we're now raising kids in silo without the village, parents
Speaker 1: are feeling more alone and more isolated than ever before.
Speaker 1: And of course we saw this anecdotally with the outreach
Speaker 1: that we did for the pod topics.
Speaker 2: So I even think, like just the feedback that we
Speaker 2: get about the pod makes me feel like I'm chatting
Speaker 2: with girlfriends the mother's group for your ears type thing,
Speaker 2: like yeah, like.
Speaker 1: I'd never had a mother's group. I'm so glad this exists.
Speaker 1: And that is honestly one of the main reasons why
Speaker 1: I quit my job to continue this, because I was
Speaker 1: so passionate about the experience and I had, and so
Speaker 1: passionate about how well the first season especially did of
Speaker 1: our pod, Like there's clearly something going on with parents
Speaker 1: and that they need connection and they're getting it through
Speaker 1: pods of all things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which I totally get because I listened to pods
Speaker 2: all the time and music and audio books and just
Speaker 2: otherwise I'm just sitting alone in the in the silence
Speaker 2: and that sucks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your own thoughts, which yeah, when it's.
Speaker 2: People enjoy listening to you do feel like you're and
Speaker 2: you know, you're chuckling along listening to them, and you
Speaker 2: feel sad when they're sad because it is connection.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's not like friendship. That's what you're obviously
Speaker 1: looking for at the end of the day, right.
Speaker 2: And it is like when we meet people out in
Speaker 2: the wild, like shit is we love it and there
Speaker 2: is that instant connection because you're like, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: we've been in it together.
Speaker 1: I'm always like, can you tell me something about you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I'm like, you know, way you
Speaker 3: too much about me.
Speaker 1: Naked right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you basically know about from my nipples to my
Speaker 2: clitorus or like they'reof And can we just touch on
Speaker 2: doctor Jasmine first, like sometimes not always.
Speaker 1: Be so mean to my statistics, my quotes, you just
Speaker 1: risk them apart.
Speaker 2: But they're not yours, well they are, you found them.
Speaker 2: But these idiots, well they're not idiots. They're very clever.
Speaker 3: But okay, key, I'm going to ask you something.
Speaker 2: Would you like to see the insides of yourself if
Speaker 2: you smoke fifteen cigarettes every single day or if you're lonely?
Speaker 1: I think what they're saying, right, they obviously have to
Speaker 1: say something that's going to be headlining, because this is like,
Speaker 1: you know, they're trying to emphasize the impact that is ridiculous. Well,
Speaker 1: they're saying depression, anxiety, dementia, all of those other things.
Speaker 1: They can have serious effects on your brain, you like
Speaker 1: not moving of course, those things. It is as bad
Speaker 1: as having fifteen cigarettes to day. They're just doing a comparison,
Speaker 1: Like obviously it's not going to be as textbook bad,
Speaker 1: but it's just a bloody thing to get a headline ground.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know, okay, I'm making fun of it,
Speaker 2: but like it's the mental health impacts, which are obviously
Speaker 2: so much.
Speaker 1: Exactly, but mental health has such an impact on your
Speaker 1: physical health, Like people die of loneliness. Like think about
Speaker 1: the stories you hear of like a couple that's been
Speaker 1: married for seventy years and the husband dies and then
Speaker 1: the wife dies shortly after because they're so connected and
Speaker 1: they don't want to live without the other one. Like,
Speaker 1: those are real stories that you hear all the time,
Speaker 1: and I think that like loneliness.
Speaker 3: Didn't that happen to both of our grandparents.
Speaker 1: My Nana was a little bit longer, but yeah, it
Speaker 1: was pretty close.
Speaker 3: Like under a year, right, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And also like the decline as well, the decline.
Speaker 2: My grandparents were on my mom's side, were like they
Speaker 2: did everything together, they were so joined. And then neither
Speaker 2: of them like ever had bad health stuff. Oh except
Speaker 2: for my nanna, and she had the brain aneurysm when
Speaker 2: she was in her thirties, but like then, long term
Speaker 2: she was kind of fine, and then she just randomly
Speaker 2: died and she was older, but like you know, and
Speaker 2: then the decline. In my poppy lesson to you later,
Speaker 2: he was gone.
Speaker 1: Well that's exactly so sad. He did not want a motivation.
Speaker 3: He did not want to be on this earth without her.
Speaker 3: One hundred was so sad.
Speaker 1: You lose that motivation that gets you up every day,
Speaker 1: you know, like if you don't have a reason to
Speaker 1: get up, you don't have a reason to Like those
Speaker 1: are all things, Like all of us need reasons to
Speaker 1: get out of bed every day. That's why, you know,
Speaker 1: I flourish in a routine, knowing what I'm going to do,
Speaker 1: having that control, like the kind of rush you get
Speaker 1: after you finished a day of doing things, Like, all
Speaker 1: of that stuff is really integral to our successes. Like
Speaker 1: human beings, it's all related, they say. It's like so
Speaker 1: crucial to us because it's how we learn, it's how
Speaker 1: we laugh, it's how we love, and ultimately all of
Speaker 1: that is living.
Speaker 2: You know, I get so jealous of people that are
Speaker 2: just like really free spirits and oh whatever, but I
Speaker 2: genuinely think like people with any sort of mental health ailment, yeah,
Speaker 2: we kind of have to live by routines because it
Speaker 2: just helps so much.
Speaker 3: So having routine is astronomical.
Speaker 1: And with kids, like they say, it's so important for
Speaker 1: them to form these routines so that they feel safe,
Speaker 1: you know exactly they understand and they're not just like,
Speaker 1: well where the fuck did that come from? Like, no,
Speaker 1: this is what we do every day, and this makes
Speaker 1: me feel comfortable and I'm safe. This is my family. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I want to get into our loneliness. I'm really
Speaker 1: keen to hear both pre and post len have you
Speaker 1: ever felt lonely? Like examples, at times you may have
Speaker 1: felt lonely.
Speaker 2: One of my strongest memories of loneliness was when I
Speaker 2: moved to Sydney when I was eighteen to go to
Speaker 2: un And I've spoken before that I was a very
Speaker 2: young eighteen year old, like I was very sheltered, didn't
Speaker 2: have much life experience, and I'm also the eldest, so
Speaker 2: I guess that is part of it. Yeah, and I
Speaker 2: lived on campus and I didn't make any friends. A
Speaker 2: lot of people find it very hard to believe that
Speaker 2: I am inherently very shy and I'm very introverted. My
Speaker 2: extraversion is actually a very clever mask that in my
Speaker 2: mid thirties, I am an absolute master of putting on.
Speaker 2: I don't even barely notice I'm doing it anymore. It's
Speaker 2: just like how exhausted I might be afterwards. But inherently,
Speaker 2: at my core, I'm not extroverted, so I'll never forget.
Speaker 2: And my mum and dad still talk about it, like
Speaker 2: because I I didn't want to go to UNI, I didn't
Speaker 2: want to move, and they drove me down to Sydney
Speaker 2: and they moved me into my dorm room and we
Speaker 2: spent the day unpacking and that sort of thing. And
Speaker 2: they were driving away and I'm just standing behind the
Speaker 2: car and they said that I had my sunglasses on
Speaker 2: because I've always, up until my first energy healing experience,
Speaker 2: I never let anyone see me cry. And I was
Speaker 2: like clearly sobbing with just tears running down my cheeks
Speaker 2: behind my sunglasses, but like sadly waving to them baby
Speaker 2: kill and Mum actually heartbreaking sobbing in the car because
Speaker 2: they were like, we don't want to leave her, but
Speaker 2: we kind of have to, Like what, We're not just
Speaker 2: going to move into a dorm with her, and we've
Speaker 2: got two other kids at home. And then I went
Speaker 2: back into my dorm and I just sat down and
Speaker 2: I just felt so alone and out of my comfort zone.
Speaker 2: But I said to myself, I was like, you have
Speaker 2: to go out.
Speaker 3: It was o weeks.
Speaker 2: There was mixes at every single minute, so I sort
Speaker 2: of forced myself and it took every ounce of everything
Speaker 2: I had to force myself to go out, because when
Speaker 2: you're not extroverted by nature, it takes a lot of
Speaker 2: energy to do these things, especially by yourself.
Speaker 1: Oh totally yeah.
Speaker 2: And then I went and I did get a boyfriend
Speaker 2: at UNI, so I had him and he was like amazing.
Speaker 2: We dated for five or six years. We moved into
Speaker 2: each other's dorms as well. We just like studied in
Speaker 2: one dorm and then like lived together in the other.
Speaker 2: But we were both like so tall and slept in
Speaker 2: a single bed for the first two years of our relationship.
Speaker 3: How and why so I always cackle about that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, why didn't you get a bigger bed?
Speaker 2: And he was like always very hard worker though, and
Speaker 2: he used to go home every Friday and like work
Speaker 2: for because he lived in the Southern Highlands.
Speaker 3: His parents lived in the Southern Highlands.
Speaker 2: So every single Friday, like after I finished my lectures
Speaker 2: or whatever I had on I would drive to my
Speaker 2: nanny's house for an entire year on the weekend and
Speaker 2: I would arrive on Oh my gosh, it makes me like, oh,
Speaker 2: I love her so much.
Speaker 3: I would arrive on Friday.
Speaker 2: And I immediately just felt like so safe because I
Speaker 2: just missed my family so much and I didn't have
Speaker 2: any friends and a part. I was so lucky to
Speaker 2: have a boyfriend, but apart from him, I just didn't
Speaker 2: have anyone, and I really struggled, and I just was
Speaker 2: finally safe for a few days, and she would like
Speaker 2: cook for me on the Sunday and she'd send me
Speaker 2: home with meals for a week, and she was just
Speaker 2: my best friend.
Speaker 3: She was my only friend week. And so, yeah, when
Speaker 3: I was eighteen year old.
Speaker 2: If anyone wants to know why I'm still partying like
Speaker 2: I'm eighteen, it's because when I was eighteen, I spent
Speaker 2: every single weekend with my nanny.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't change up for the world.
Speaker 1: Bow, Yeah, which I actually think sounds pretty nice.
Speaker 2: Gosh, that year, I just remember just so much loneliness
Speaker 2: and really struggling. And of course I had acquaintances, like
Speaker 2: I lived on campus, I had lots of acquaintances, but
Speaker 2: no friends.
Speaker 3: You know, those people.
Speaker 2: That you can if I was having a bit of
Speaker 2: a lonely day or having a bad day, that I
Speaker 2: would just go to their dorm.
Speaker 1: And well, they define loneliness as you know, this really
Speaker 1: like sad, uncomfortable feeling of being alone. But it's also
Speaker 1: coincides with the desire to have meaningful friendships. And I
Speaker 1: think that's what you're saying, it's like you had people
Speaker 1: that you knew and you'd say hi to ANX, but
Speaker 1: nothing meaningful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like we'd go to the bar and get pissed
Speaker 3: on a Thursday.
Speaker 2: But it wasn't it was just so top level, it
Speaker 2: wasn't anything worth anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And in that year, like in one of.
Speaker 2: My classes, because I actually lived on a separate campus
Speaker 2: to the one that I started at, which also would
Speaker 2: have made a difference because it's like I was never
Speaker 2: seeing the people that I.
Speaker 3: Was studying this UNI. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Then at the campus anyway, there was like this really
Speaker 2: like I was just so in awe of this one
Speaker 2: girl because she always was talking to people, and she
Speaker 2: was so confident, and she always had so many friends,
Speaker 2: and she was so funny. She made me like quietly
Speaker 2: giggle to myself in every class that we had. And
Speaker 2: then in my second year, so it was like my
Speaker 2: goal that summer, I thought to myself, No, you have
Speaker 2: to make friends. You can't just like be lonely for
Speaker 2: another year. So my very first day on my second
Speaker 2: year of UNI, I walked up to the loud crazy girl.
Speaker 2: I sat down next to her, and I asked her
Speaker 2: if she would like to see my Sea World bag
Speaker 2: that I'd gotten, and this was ash And this was Ashley.
Speaker 3: We've had her on the pod My Best.
Speaker 1: Team Your Sea World Bag and she story.
Speaker 2: She's so nice, but we have to get her on
Speaker 2: to tell this story because she just tells it so differently.
Speaker 3: They used to make fun of me, the silly old moles.
Speaker 2: In the first they called me wedge girl because I
Speaker 2: wore wedges to school.
Speaker 1: Why did you wear wedges?
Speaker 3: Because I've always really loved clothes and dressing up.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, true, okay, got it, got it?
Speaker 2: So I would do my hair and you know what
Speaker 2: cool UNI students are like, they just show up in
Speaker 2: an oversized shirt and leggings.
Speaker 3: But no, no, I would wear like my wedges and
Speaker 3: like a little frock and you know, quite cute.
Speaker 1: Oh I really do like that about you.
Speaker 2: And me and my boyfriend had gone to Sea World
Speaker 2: and so I'd bought my merch bag and ordered all
Speaker 2: of my textbooks in it. And I was like, do
Speaker 2: you want to see it? And she placated me and
Speaker 2: said yes, and well we've been friends ever since.
Speaker 1: It wasn't that nice. She was like, let this weird
Speaker 1: girls get here. We have a cheer weird girl.
Speaker 2: And I think that because of her, she saved me
Speaker 2: in so many ways when it came to making friends,
Speaker 2: because as soon as you've got one friend, oh my god,
Speaker 2: it opened so many doors, which is why I like,
Speaker 2: you know, years later, we found out that a girl
Speaker 2: that we knew were moving to Sydney, and immediately we
Speaker 2: like took her under our wing, because you just need
Speaker 2: someone to start introducing you to different people, that's.
Speaker 1: The thing, and you just need at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, you just need one a week man friend.
Speaker 1: That's it, and then like the rest is great. But
Speaker 1: if you can just make that one friendship that's really meaningful,
Speaker 1: that makes the biggest difference.
Speaker 2: And ever since, I guess that was just a lesson
Speaker 2: that even though it goes against my insights. It's funny
Speaker 2: because so many of my closest friends are people that
Speaker 2: I admired from far and thought to myself, oh gosh,
Speaker 2: I'd really like to be that person's friend. They seem
Speaker 2: so nice.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and.
Speaker 2: It's funny because so many of them are that. But yeah,
Speaker 2: so that it's so strong in my mind. And thank
Speaker 2: God for Ash and my nanny for helping me make friends.
Speaker 2: And get out of that. I still spend at least
Speaker 2: every second weekend with my nanny, wasn't her No, no,
Speaker 2: And then obviously, like there are always different points through
Speaker 2: your twenties and whatnot. But I remember when I was
Speaker 2: pregnant in lockdown, I felt so lonely and once again
Speaker 2: though it actually it broke my heart though that I
Speaker 2: couldn't visit my nanny, like because I think I absorb
Speaker 2: a lot of what she's feeling. And that's another story though,
Speaker 2: like about how awful that was. But so I felt
Speaker 2: a lot of loneliness. Then it's very isolating being pregnant,
Speaker 2: even when your sister is pregnant. But it added to
Speaker 2: that a lot being pregnant in lockdown with a partner
Speaker 2: that and he acknowledges this, really wasn't interested in my
Speaker 2: pregnancy or being a part of it. I don't think
Speaker 2: he had the emotional intelligence to sort of look at
Speaker 2: it as something that we were both in and going through.
Speaker 1: And you know, that's actually a really quite a normal
Speaker 1: experience of a lot of men, even partners. Her partner, pregnant,
Speaker 1: navigating earthing partner. Yeah, they just don't really have a connection.
Speaker 1: And some people who are the pregnant person don't have
Speaker 1: a connection to the baby that they're growing inside of
Speaker 1: the ether. It doesn't come tall after the baby's born,
Speaker 1: even a couple of months later, exactly. So it's actually
Speaker 1: a really normal experience. But I think there's a little
Speaker 1: bit of shame around it, or reluctance to open up
Speaker 1: about it and also share that potentially your partner was
Speaker 1: a little bit shit. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: And I would say after Lenn, the funny thing is,
Speaker 2: I mean I'm looking back, and maybe I'm looking at
Speaker 2: it with a bit of rose tinted glasses, but I
Speaker 2: feel like I've always felt like Lenny was my little buddy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I always felt like I had him. But oh, I
Speaker 2: mean it's very hard when you take in postpartum depression.
Speaker 2: You literally don't even want to be on the earth anymore.
Speaker 2: But the isolation and loneliness, especially at night, and we've
Speaker 2: spoken about this before that there is no lonelier person
Speaker 2: than an overtired new mum at three am when she's
Speaker 2: thinking about everyone else asleep, her partner's potentially asleep, yeah,
Speaker 2: and she's got a screaming baby and there's no one
Speaker 2: to Yeah. I just used to love, just even if
Speaker 2: I had someone just to sit with me and keep
Speaker 2: me company.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, And obviously I didn't have a mother's
Speaker 3: group or.
Speaker 2: Like I had my sister and it was covidy, so
Speaker 2: I don't think I was.
Speaker 3: I also couldn't really drive, so anyway, it was Yeah,
Speaker 3: i'd say, post pardon, that was pretty shit.
Speaker 2: But I've been lucky enough to have friends with kids
Speaker 2: or babies around, even if they don't live close to me.
Speaker 2: I'm very lucky to have such strong friendships, and quite
Speaker 2: a fair few of them, so I would say that
Speaker 2: that has helped a lot.
Speaker 3: Now. The only time I really get a little bit lonely.
Speaker 2: Is on days when I don't talk to anyone.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can relate to that so hard.
Speaker 2: But then your partner and your child get home and
Speaker 2: you think, my god, i'd quite like another ten minutes
Speaker 2: of silence, thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't believe I was missing them, but.
Speaker 3: What about you.
Speaker 1: I definitely have felt loneliness from quite a young age.
Speaker 1: I think it was a big theme in my childhood.
Speaker 1: I was an only child, and I didn't have like
Speaker 1: a strong kind of family unit. I moved schools a
Speaker 1: lot like I would move primary schools all the time,
Speaker 1: and then we ended up moving countries and that just
Speaker 1: wasn't really the continuity of me living in one place
Speaker 1: that meant that I could develop those meaningful connections. So
Speaker 1: I do have friends from New Zealand of course that
Speaker 1: I'm still in touch with, But as soon as I
Speaker 1: moved there was that kind of stopped because the Internet
Speaker 1: and things like that weren't really a thing at that stage,
Speaker 1: you know. But what I do think when I think
Speaker 1: about it now, of being lonely, because that's why I
Speaker 1: wanted so desperately to have another kid, right because as
Speaker 1: a kid, I was all like I wish I just
Speaker 1: had a brother or sister that I could be going
Speaker 1: through this with because I'd always be playing by myself
Speaker 1: in my bedroom because that was like the style of
Speaker 1: parenting that my birth mum had, you know, like when
Speaker 1: she had me. It was like I would be in
Speaker 1: my bedroom by myself, playing and it was so lonely.
Speaker 1: And work with my grandparents was different because I'd just
Speaker 1: be watching like British crime shows with them, which I
Speaker 1: fucking frothed and it's like my favorite genre. But it
Speaker 1: was like I think I grew up really quickly, and
Speaker 1: I that was one of the main drivers of me
Speaker 1: being like I always want at least two and I
Speaker 1: don't think you need to have more than one kid.
Speaker 1: That's not what I'm saying at all. I don't want
Speaker 1: to ever say that to anyone who's listening who's won
Speaker 1: and done, But for me personally, I was just like,
Speaker 1: you know, if I can't call my craziness with these kids,
Speaker 1: at least I have each other a bitch about me
Speaker 1: with yeah, and they could like have that camaraderie. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's a fair point though, And as
Speaker 2: you know, that's one of the biggest things it gets
Speaker 2: me upset about potentially not giving Lenna's sibling because the
Speaker 2: thing is is that I say this and then people
Speaker 2: slide into my DMS and are like, I fucking hate
Speaker 2: my sister and we even't talked for ten years.
Speaker 1: And totally yeah, yeah, I get.
Speaker 2: That always exceptions to the rule, of course, and Lenny
Speaker 2: always is around kids or we're always playing and whatnot,
Speaker 2: But yeah, that I always had my sister, and even
Speaker 2: to this day, I always have my sister and my brother,
Speaker 2: especially my sister, like they are my inbuilt besties.
Speaker 3: That would do anything for me.
Speaker 2: And when I was a kid and we hated each
Speaker 2: other and fought all the time, and I was going
Speaker 2: through bullying and dinner friends at school, I would go
Speaker 2: home and it was safe and I had people to play.
Speaker 1: With totally, And that's I just have always thought that way.
Speaker 1: I just thought, oh, how different my life would be
Speaker 1: if I had someone else that because you know, a
Speaker 1: lot of the time when I'm feeling low about things
Speaker 1: that have happened in my life, or you know, I've
Speaker 1: got my godmother who obviously knows my birthmum really well,
Speaker 1: so we can have a conversation about that. But there's
Speaker 1: no one who was from that lived experience as like
Speaker 1: a little kid going through that abandonment, and that whole
Speaker 1: experience feels really isolating for me because no one can
Speaker 1: truly understand, and just to be able to talk about it,
Speaker 1: it would have been really nice. Anyway. What that did is,
Speaker 1: like you know, being lonely as a child, or like
Speaker 1: yearning for company helped me, I think, become comfortable in
Speaker 1: my own company, so I actually really crave like if
Speaker 1: we have lots of social events, and I don't think
Speaker 1: this is a unique experience but we have lots of
Speaker 1: social events. Sometimes like I'll need to tap out and
Speaker 1: I'm like on holidays. We've done group holidays before and
Speaker 1: most of my friends know at some stage I'll have
Speaker 1: to just have a little bit of key time and
Speaker 1: that's just me in a room watching some reality TV,
Speaker 1: like I need my own company kind of thing. But
Speaker 1: I know that the flip side of that is that
Speaker 1: spending like extended periods by myself is very detrimental to
Speaker 1: my mental health. So there's like kind of a balance
Speaker 1: in that that I've had to really be conscious of.
Speaker 1: I think also an extension of that was in moving countries.
Speaker 1: You know, I moved at an age like I was
Speaker 1: think I was eleven, you know, so it was like
Speaker 1: grade six, grade seven in Queensland, everyone's about to go
Speaker 1: to high school. That formed these friendships that have been
Speaker 1: at primary school together, and it took me a long
Speaker 1: time to have friendships that were.
Speaker 2: It must be really hard if you're constantly moving schools completely.
Speaker 1: And that's why, because you know, I've had to move
Speaker 1: through all these different daycares. It's actually makes me feel
Speaker 1: really bad because the one thing that I really want
Speaker 1: for her is like continuity with everything, you know, like
Speaker 1: she is too, Yeah, I know, I know, but I'm
Speaker 1: like I want her to like have those friends that
Speaker 1: she's had since she's little and have all of those
Speaker 1: like normal markers for I don't know, there's something that's
Speaker 1: about that. It is so rare, especially now, so I
Speaker 1: understand that it's like not the norm.
Speaker 3: But it's my oldest friend and that's years seven, so.
Speaker 1: Which is really Yeah.
Speaker 2: He's my only friend from high school that I've kept though,
Speaker 2: so round's so different everyone is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'd say I only really started making like
Speaker 1: meaningful and solid relationships and friendships. I should say it's
Speaker 1: from like the age of fifteen because then again, at
Speaker 1: the end of your eight I moved to a new
Speaker 1: high school. So it wasn't really until why was that
Speaker 1: I got bullied like really bad way sorry.
Speaker 3: Sorry that girl I wanted to kill you.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, and so I just never went back to school.
Speaker 1: But it was like right at the time when my
Speaker 1: birth mum was moving overseas and it was like she
Speaker 1: was happy to send me to a different school. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that's I think where my loneliness almost stopped. Because I
Speaker 1: would like live at my girlfriend's houses on the weekend
Speaker 1: during school holidays, like all of their parents really took
Speaker 1: me under their wing because they all felt really sorry
Speaker 1: for me. So that's when I remember that my loneliness
Speaker 1: really ease because I had like sisters suddenly, you know,
Speaker 1: like I was just we did everything together. And also
Speaker 1: I had another girlfriend who was an only child, so
Speaker 1: we spent a lot of time together. And I just
Speaker 1: remember like feeling so happy in high school because I
Speaker 1: had these amazing friendships and obviously there was like drama
Speaker 1: all the time, but at the core of it, I
Speaker 1: just remember like always having someone to talk to or
Speaker 1: confide in that felt really special to me. And then
Speaker 1: I think again when I moved overseas, probably to New York,
Speaker 1: because when I felt a little bit lonely, it's like amazing.
Speaker 1: I've read a lot of articles about feeling lonely and
Speaker 1: like a big city and it's quite a normal thing.
Speaker 1: You're in the city with so many people, but you
Speaker 1: can still feel so lonely because so many of the
Speaker 1: interactions you had, like you said before, kel are like
Speaker 1: surface level, and really making those deep friendships is.
Speaker 3: Harder given that you weren't from America.
Speaker 2: It's not like you knew people to sort of connect with,
Speaker 2: or even just that one person to connect with.
Speaker 1: Well, I had a couple of people over there, so
Speaker 1: felt no, no, no, no. I'm glad that you said that, though,
Speaker 1: because I think that I had ideas about what I
Speaker 1: wanted to do, right because a lot of people I
Speaker 1: knew were moving over there, but everyone was just hanging
Speaker 1: out with the people that moved over there, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I really want to have an experience where
Speaker 1: I like make a lot of American friends and like
Speaker 1: really immerse myself and not like land on the crutch
Speaker 1: of having people back home, because I was like, that's
Speaker 1: just Brisbane in New York kind of thing, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I did take up an offer from one of
Speaker 1: my guy friends to live on his couch, and it
Speaker 1: was actually probably the best thing for me because it
Speaker 1: meant that I just had someone that like thought of me,
Speaker 1: you know, like I had someone to check in with like, oh, hey,
Speaker 1: are you going to be home for dinner, or like,
Speaker 1: you know, his roommate was his best friend, Hey are
Speaker 1: you going to be home for dinner? And it was
Speaker 1: just nice having someone somewhere that cared about, you know,
Speaker 1: if you went missing for a couple of days they'd
Speaker 1: know about it, you know, that kind of like you're
Speaker 1: not completely alone in a city. And I think that
Speaker 1: it was almost like the balance you live on a couch,
Speaker 1: though not long, not long. It was probably like a
Speaker 1: couple of months.
Speaker 2: Maybe you lived on someone's couch for a couple of months.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very normal thing to do, very normal. But
Speaker 1: I think what that allowed me to do, right is
Speaker 1: I moved to New York with some savings and obviously
Speaker 1: my US passport, but not really a plan. It was
Speaker 1: like to chase my dreams dying.
Speaker 3: But my dreams, what were your dreams, Kiris, I.
Speaker 1: Don't know, just to do something I didn't even have
Speaker 1: a solid dream. There was a lot of solidarity. I
Speaker 1: don't even know if that's the right word for that,
Speaker 1: but wasn't a lot going into it anyway. But I
Speaker 1: think having that one person with those two people and
Speaker 1: then letting me live there like I wasn't lonely. You know,
Speaker 1: I could have really fallen easily into that trap of
Speaker 1: being super lonely, but I kind of made a conscious
Speaker 1: effort to be like, no, I can't do it by myself.
Speaker 1: Obviously becoming a mom like I didn't actually feel that lonely,
Speaker 1: and it was really surprising for me. Right, because I
Speaker 1: have really bad mental health. I knew that i'd be
Speaker 1: high risk for post central depression, but it wasn't my experience.
Speaker 1: And I think in past conversations we've had Kerl, I've
Speaker 1: really put that down to the fact of, like I
Speaker 1: put in the work, I knew what the signs were
Speaker 1: all of that stuff, and yes, I think that did
Speaker 1: contribute to it, but I actually think it was more
Speaker 1: to do with the fact that I had these meaningful
Speaker 1: relationships that I found in my Mother's group.
Speaker 3: Now the perfect matters group massive be nice.
Speaker 1: It wasn't perfect. It wasn't perfect, but like, I actually
Speaker 1: sent this meme to the girls yesterday and it was like,
Speaker 1: send this to someone that had a profound impact on
Speaker 1: your maternity leave or your early motherhood. And I've been
Speaker 1: prepping for this, reading all these articles and being like,
Speaker 1: had this epiphany, like it was my girls, it was
Speaker 1: my mother's group, So I sent them all this. I know,
Speaker 1: but mate, I've we've been reading so much about how
Speaker 1: that idea of mother's group has really changed and the
Speaker 1: competitiveness that now exists and the inability for people to
Speaker 1: make those connections, and it's all connected to postpartum experience
Speaker 1: not having that support group. I just think about that,
Speaker 1: and I think we were really lucky to have had that.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of it was down to
Speaker 1: the people obviously that were in it, but you know,
Speaker 1: no one A couple of people had family, but everyone's
Speaker 1: family who were from Sydney were you know, a little
Speaker 1: bit away. And then there were expats and obviously just
Speaker 1: people who were orphans like myself. But it was just
Speaker 1: like this, you know, very lucky coincidence that we were
Speaker 1: all very lack minded and the way that we approach things,
Speaker 1: and I really think that was probably the core of it.
Speaker 1: But I was very prepped to feel lonely and to
Speaker 1: feel overwhelmed.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you, but you will also because a
Speaker 2: lot of the advice that I would ever give is
Speaker 2: to force yourself.
Speaker 3: If you haven't get even if it's like against every
Speaker 3: natural instinct, you've got to force yourself.
Speaker 2: You were so proactive key you would always like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm going to my even now. You're so good with
Speaker 2: like organizing crap on your days with rue so that
Speaker 2: you're hanging out with a friend and she's got someone,
Speaker 2: and you know, you'd go to your movies and you're
Speaker 2: you were.
Speaker 3: Always doing stuff, You're always busy.
Speaker 1: Well, I just didn't want the walls to close in
Speaker 1: on me, Kelly.
Speaker 3: But it was clever.
Speaker 2: Like I think that it's just you might have wanted
Speaker 2: some days not to hang out with people, but you
Speaker 2: sort of always force yourself to.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And I think sometimes just mums hang out
Speaker 1: in silence.
Speaker 3: That's what's nothing wrong with silence.
Speaker 1: There is nothing wrong with silence.
Speaker 2: People underestimate how strong a friendship can be when you're
Speaker 2: both fine just to sit there and like pi on
Speaker 2: your phones, but you're you've got that company.
Speaker 1: Percent. Sometimes Lucy and I just on FaceTime not talking.
Speaker 3: Which is so weird anyway, Yeah, okay, that's weird.
Speaker 1: That's weird. In recent times though, and I feel I
Speaker 1: wanted to know if you would relate to this. Going freelance,
Speaker 1: I've experienced times of loneliness because I actually really enjoyed
Speaker 1: going to work and like the collaboration of working in
Speaker 1: a team, like the social element that comes with obviously
Speaker 1: the friendships that you form, Like you and I'm at
Speaker 1: at work, Lucy and I'm at work, and I think
Speaker 1: going freelance that has been really hard, especially like, for instance,
Speaker 1: I've just come off the back of being five days
Speaker 1: by myself with Rue because she was sick. I did
Speaker 1: see Lucy for recording this week, but I don't get
Speaker 1: to see you today because I'm sick. I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm going to be at the end of today.
Speaker 2: I know, I was really looking forward to seeing you
Speaker 2: today exactly, just like that camaraderie.
Speaker 1: Totally and just interaction, having conversation, like you know, not
Speaker 1: waiting for the bloody keys to jingle when Charlie gets
Speaker 1: home and pouncing on him being like, so, how was
Speaker 1: your day? Tell me everything?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't want to talk about that. I
Speaker 2: want to like just talk about random stuff. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: just exactly.
Speaker 1: And that's a thing like with freelance, as great as
Speaker 1: it is, and having that flexibility, especially you know, with
Speaker 1: kids involved, and just like the space to be creative
Speaker 1: and do interesting things. The flip side is a lot
Speaker 1: of the time you are by yourself, so you have
Speaker 1: to like and if you have instances where you're sick,
Speaker 1: it's like, fuck, I was really enjoying some adult like
Speaker 1: looking for some adult conversation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny because I had freelanced in my early
Speaker 2: twenties and I can't really remember that stage once. I
Speaker 2: do remember being lonely, but I think there hasn't been
Speaker 2: a friendship like the one that we have or the
Speaker 2: one that I have with lots of other people that
Speaker 2: I've worked with. I haven't had that since I started freelancing, exactly.
Speaker 2: I haven't made I've made friends, but not like that.
Speaker 2: You know, there's just something when you're working with someone
Speaker 2: and you're like you see them all the time, and
Speaker 2: it's just that instant connection.
Speaker 1: Totally, you connect on a far deeper level than you
Speaker 1: do because you see each other and it's just by
Speaker 1: the mere fact of how much time you're spending together exactly.
Speaker 1: You know, like that's all it is. But that's I
Speaker 1: think why it's so important with parenting. It's like a
Speaker 1: lot of primary parents aren't going back to work, and
Speaker 1: a large percentage of them are women. And that's why
Speaker 1: I think that loneliness comes into play because you're missing
Speaker 1: those opportunities to form deeper relationships because you don't have
Speaker 1: the time that you had before to invest in them.
Speaker 1: So it's really difficult like, it's really difficult. The last
Speaker 1: one I had was like, which is just a flip off?
Speaker 1: That is raising a toddler without family nearby. I think
Speaker 1: when I was prepping for this, I read this article
Speaker 1: that was written in twenty seventeen on The Economist. I'll
Speaker 1: put the link and I'll find it. But the title
Speaker 1: was since the nineteen fifties because everyone thinks like, oh,
Speaker 1: we want a parent like you know we did in
Speaker 1: the nineteen fifties. And since the nineteen fifties, every wealthy
Speaker 1: country has doubled the amount of time per day that
Speaker 1: they parent their kid. So it was something like fifty
Speaker 1: nine minutes. I know, it's something like fifty nine minutes
Speaker 1: and teen fifty that women would parent their kids.
Speaker 3: Where were the kids? I thought, we get there, storry, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 3: sorry there.
Speaker 1: I'll get there. And that's gone up to like two hours.
Speaker 1: And it was even the same in Men. I think
Speaker 1: it was like fifteen minutes and it went up to
Speaker 1: fifty nine minutes, except in France. What the French just
Speaker 1: know how to do it. Hey, So I think what
Speaker 1: that reflects is that you would drop your kids off
Speaker 1: at the grandparents' house. They'd be playing outside because it
Speaker 1: was safe and everyone owned houses and they were suburban like.
Speaker 1: It's actually the way in which we have developed as
Speaker 1: a society. So the way that we live apartments were
Speaker 1: further out away from family. We can't afford to stay
Speaker 1: in the same suburbs necessarily that we grew up in.
Speaker 1: It means that you're further and further and further away
Speaker 1: from those people who would basically relieve you from your
Speaker 1: parenting duties. And now we're doing double the amount of work.
Speaker 1: Women are also working full time. That's why we rely
Speaker 1: on you know, daycare, but also daycare is fucked because
Speaker 1: of sickness and the things around having you know, kids
Speaker 1: needing to have a day off in some circumstances after
Speaker 1: having a fever, Like, there's all these things that just
Speaker 1: means that we're spending actually way more time with our kids.
Speaker 1: And it's actually not healthy for us to be spending
Speaker 1: this much time with our kids because your energy is
Speaker 1: depleted and you literally have nothing more to give.
Speaker 3: Mmm.
Speaker 1: Interesting, right, It's so interesting.
Speaker 2: I'm honestly just blown away. I'm wondering what those chicks
Speaker 2: were doing.
Speaker 1: Are you on TikTok?
Speaker 3: No? No, my phone just went off.
Speaker 1: I was like, was she just scrolling TikTok while I
Speaker 1: was talking about my really funny stat that I was saving.
Speaker 1: I didn't even put in the script because I didn't
Speaker 1: want you to see it.
Speaker 2: No, and I'm dying at it because I was like,
Speaker 2: this isn't in the script, you and your French women.
Speaker 1: It's so funny because I had this conversation with Charlie
Speaker 1: last night. I was making all these really good points
Speaker 1: and I was like, when I talked to Kelly about
Speaker 1: this tomorrow, I'm gonna have some singing.
Speaker 2: And then you're like, yeah, I'm not even going to
Speaker 2: put in this script because I want to shop her.
Speaker 2: And then the next thing in the script is examples
Speaker 2: of making funds from Frans from France.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've ended on a real like dumb dumb,
Speaker 1: so stop spending so much time with your kids, That's
Speaker 1: what you've just ended on. And people are like, key,
Speaker 1: we can't. That's why we're listening to the good Okay, okay, great,
Speaker 1: So what are we going to give the shitters? We
Speaker 1: need to get some tips, some examples of making some France.
Speaker 2: Well, I think, like, as I've said multiple times throughout
Speaker 2: this episode, you really have to force yourself to.
Speaker 3: Do things that you're not comfortable with.
Speaker 2: Like I do want to apologize if I ever come
Speaker 2: across as a little bit blunt, because.
Speaker 1: I think the shitters know you well enough.
Speaker 3: No I know, but it is done with love.
Speaker 2: Like I only have the best of intentions, but it's
Speaker 2: about because of what I'm going to say. Basically, I
Speaker 2: needed to profess that because you can't just sit on
Speaker 2: your ass at home and winge about not having friends
Speaker 2: or winge about being lonely. Okay, See, that's why I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if I'm coming across as blunt, but sometimes
Speaker 2: you need to be you know, a metaphorical slap across
Speaker 2: the face. I need to get up and out of
Speaker 2: your comfort zone because a friend isn't just going to
Speaker 2: fall into your lap.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, it's sounding a little bit Kim Kardashiani when she
Speaker 1: was you just need to get up.
Speaker 3: You need to work and work. Get your fucking ass
Speaker 3: up and work.
Speaker 1: It seems like nobody wants to work these days. No
Speaker 1: one wants to make friends anymore.
Speaker 3: That's what it's giving up I'm saying to you.
Speaker 1: But I do love it. I do understand the sentiment.
Speaker 2: Everyone wants to make friends, but they don't want to
Speaker 2: leave their house. Yes, Look, the culture of making means
Speaker 2: about like, oh, that feeling when someone cancels dinner, or
Speaker 2: being introverted and just want to stay at home all day.
Speaker 2: Like I get it, and all of those things are
Speaker 2: lovely and very relatable. But you're not going to make
Speaker 2: friends by sitting at home by yourself on TikTok.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2: You can actually try to make friends at home, but
Speaker 2: it's probably easier to do it in real life. Have
Speaker 2: I told the story about how I made my friend
Speaker 2: Rav I think you.
Speaker 1: Have, but tell it again. I mean, you've definitely told me.
Speaker 2: Well, this girl like at my gym just always looked friendly.
Speaker 2: This was a very long time ago, and she sort
Speaker 2: of used to smile at me. And then one day
Speaker 2: I was like talking to one of the trainers, and
Speaker 2: I mean she told me afterwards she recognized my voice
Speaker 2: and she just stopped me and she goes, this is
Speaker 2: going to sound really weird, but do you have a
Speaker 2: podcast called Overshare? And it was a podcast I was
Speaker 2: doing at the time, and I was like, yes, I do,
Speaker 2: and she was like, oh my god, my husband literally
Speaker 2: ghosted me recently, I've been feeling so lonely and you
Speaker 2: Lemon Flex. It's honestly just like listening to friends in
Speaker 2: my eas every week. I can't tell you how much
Speaker 2: that podcast means to me. And I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, thank you. That is so nice, and we
Speaker 2: just like had a chat and then like obviously then
Speaker 2: I saw it at the gym a lot, and you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes I'd make like awkward little jokes or just smile
Speaker 2: at her, but I just got good vibes. Yeah, one
Speaker 2: night when I was drunk and she about something on Insta,
Speaker 2: I just was like, I asked.
Speaker 3: Your out on a friend date. I was like, would
Speaker 3: you like to get a drink one night?
Speaker 1: Yes? Suh. I love that.
Speaker 3: I love that, And we've been friends ever since. We
Speaker 3: went out for the drink. The chat was great, and yeah,
Speaker 3: we've been friends for four or five years now.
Speaker 2: And like pushing myself to join that netball team and
Speaker 2: not knowing anyone, and I felt sick about doing it,
Speaker 2: but I really wanted to do it. I'm friends with
Speaker 2: so many of the girls now and it's just so nice.
Speaker 1: And you have something to look forward to each week,
Speaker 1: which I think is like the brilliant thing in that as.
Speaker 2: Well, exactly, And it's also exercise, and it's something that
Speaker 2: no one expects anything from me.
Speaker 3: I'm not a mom.
Speaker 2: I'm not having to work like I literally just have
Speaker 2: to throw a ball and hope for the best. So yes,
Speaker 2: I know that sometimes my advice can be a little
Speaker 2: bit brutal, but it's only because I want people to
Speaker 2: realize that you really have to force yourself to do
Speaker 2: it sometimes. But things can also happen from your phone.
Speaker 2: But once again, you have to be proactive. You have
Speaker 2: to actually make the effort. I just think sometimes even
Speaker 2: when you do put yourself out there, the worst thing
Speaker 2: that's going to happen is that you're going to rejected,
Speaker 2: just like with romantic relationships, and it stings and it
Speaker 2: sucks to your ego, but it's okay. When I was
Speaker 2: at UNI and I was trying to make friends, the
Speaker 2: first group of people we were doing a group project together,
Speaker 2: and I thought, oh, I really should make an effort,
Speaker 2: and I was vibing, I thought with everyone, So I
Speaker 2: asked them if they would like to get a coffee
Speaker 2: in between classes, and no one did.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I don't know. I loved you know what.
Speaker 3: It's stung.
Speaker 2: I still think about it sometimes to this day because
Speaker 2: I was so rejected.
Speaker 3: That's okay, though it's really not a big deal. At
Speaker 3: the end of the day.
Speaker 2: You just might not be someone's cup of tea or
Speaker 2: they might just be slammed. But always ask this random lady.
Speaker 2: Another way that I met a friend was she messaged
Speaker 2: me on instant She's like, hey, do you live in myself?
Speaker 2: And I sent back an email a message being like,
Speaker 2: how do you.
Speaker 1: Know blah blah blah?
Speaker 3: What did I put up on like.
Speaker 2: A little bit Oh my god stalker alert? And then
Speaker 2: she was like, oh my god, no you didn't say anything.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry for making you think I was a
Speaker 2: massive widow. I just recognized the location of blah blah blah,
Speaker 2: and I only not because I also live here. I
Speaker 2: have a sun of your age. Just wanted to reach
Speaker 2: out and see if you want to get a coffee sometime.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my god, I love that.
Speaker 2: We've been friends ever since.
Speaker 1: That is so nice.
Speaker 2: Actually, you know, she put herself out there. She asked
Speaker 2: me on a friend date.
Speaker 3: Why not?
Speaker 1: And once you got over her potential not being a stalker,
Speaker 1: you were like, yeah, actually I could use a friend.
Speaker 2: It was literally only because like I'm obviously just so
Speaker 2: weird about those things now that I have len and
Speaker 2: never of course.
Speaker 1: But I was a saying Willie Lilly with everything, and
Speaker 1: now I'm like everyone knows where I live, but I like,
Speaker 1: don't set the suburb anymore, and it's like too late.
Speaker 2: Like you literally knews to said all the time, but yeah,
Speaker 2: sure you're like, yeah, I moved.
Speaker 3: It's fine, kid, since.
Speaker 1: A different beach that is unknown.
Speaker 3: What are your tips?
Speaker 1: Well, my first one was asking potential friends out on dates.
Speaker 1: I think it's such a good idea. Another way to
Speaker 1: do it is if we're talking more about parenting, the
Speaker 1: one place I think that all of us can or
Speaker 1: most parents have been to, or at least when you're
Speaker 1: feeling lonely and stuck at home with a kid, going
Speaker 1: to the park, and there are certain parents that you
Speaker 1: see there all the time, and so she says, strike
Speaker 1: up a conversation like, yeah, you might be up against
Speaker 1: people that aren't really up for it, but you can
Speaker 1: pretty much tell straight away, but I guarantee you there
Speaker 1: is another lonely mum or even dad who was standing
Speaker 1: there like wishing they have the confidence to strike up
Speaker 1: a conversation. And like, I know my girlfriend Talia, she's
Speaker 1: a massive shitter. Her kids aren't in daycare, so she
Speaker 1: all of the friends that they have made have been
Speaker 1: from the park, Like the kids have been playing, the
Speaker 1: moms have gotten talking, she's been going to their birthdays
Speaker 1: and all that, and I'm just like that is amazing,
Speaker 1: Like using you know the place is that you're out
Speaker 1: all the time, because I know that when I'm just
Speaker 1: in my neighborhood, I recognize different mums from the park
Speaker 1: or kids from the park, and that means I probably
Speaker 1: recognize you as well. And if you're there enough, like
Speaker 1: just bloody ask them. That's such an easy thing. And
Speaker 1: then if they say no, just don't go to that
Speaker 1: park for a couple of days.
Speaker 3: Luke has made friends like.
Speaker 1: This, Yeah, it's such an easy way to make friends.
Speaker 2: He literally on a Sunday he messages, I forget what
Speaker 2: the dude's name is, but he's like, come on Land,
Speaker 2: We're going to go meet Myra and Mara's dad.
Speaker 3: Like because he's he's the dad that goes to the
Speaker 3: parks all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't take Lenny consistently enough to one park,
Speaker 2: Like I take him to different parks all the time,
Speaker 2: but not one consistent pup Whereas Luke goes to the
Speaker 2: one park and talks to everyone there and he's got
Speaker 2: a look friends and his dad friends, and I'm sure
Speaker 2: that doesn't surprise you.
Speaker 1: Key, And look, the park could be swimming lessons, it
Speaker 1: could be by it could be little kickers. It's like
Speaker 1: anything that your kid is going to consistently where you
Speaker 1: like see the same parent or parents or kids. That's
Speaker 1: your opportunity just to like throw it out there, Hey,
Speaker 1: do you guys like want to go to the park
Speaker 1: after for a scoot or like, do you guys live
Speaker 1: in the area. I would love to like make some
Speaker 1: kid friends for little blah blah blah, like use whatever
Speaker 1: organized or just places that you show up to your
Speaker 1: advantage of asking people out on those friendship dates.
Speaker 3: I think wouldn't you agree?
Speaker 2: Though, even if it's not a consistent person, you see,
Speaker 2: because I don't take one to the same park consistently,
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean like sometimes I'll just strike up a
Speaker 2: conversation with someone.
Speaker 3: I've had a whoret conversation.
Speaker 2: I've never seen that person didn't even catch the person's name.
Speaker 2: But we've had a really great, just ten minute conversation
Speaker 2: that made me smile for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1: Absolutely sorry. It doesn't have to be the consistent that
Speaker 1: you've seen them or I just thought it maybe can
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I see you at the park a lot,
Speaker 1: like how old your kids? You could do anything?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: Another when I have on here as making friends with
Speaker 1: your neighbors, which I think is something that's been lost
Speaker 1: obviously just societies grown and changed. But like the last
Speaker 1: two apartment blocks that we've lived in, I've made really
Speaker 1: good friends with our neighbors and just making an effort
Speaker 1: to say hi, and you know, if you've got extra
Speaker 1: of something, dropping it over or you could strata, you
Speaker 1: could strata, you could join strata and congratulate them on
Speaker 1: the new screen deal of the apartment. I was relating
Speaker 1: it to the apartment buildings for the Another thing that
Speaker 1: Charlie and I have done, like we have debated for
Speaker 1: years over getting a coffee machine, because we spend quite
Speaker 1: a lot of money on buying our coffees. But the
Speaker 1: one thing that made us stop, like we were so
Speaker 1: close was like we actually don't want to lose that
Speaker 1: interaction in the morning of going to our coffee place.
Speaker 3: Having friends with your boister.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, really a little cookie. Yeah, And we gave
Speaker 1: her like a birthday present when she on a holiday,
Speaker 1: she brought a present back for Rue. Like that is
Speaker 1: so cute. Yeah. And sometimes like if I'm out and
Speaker 1: I need to like run upstairs and put the dog
Speaker 1: back because we're going and getting in the car and
Speaker 1: going to Westfield or something, I'll just leave Roo with
Speaker 1: her because it's just across the road. So I'll just
Speaker 1: like leave her and be like, oh, can I leave
Speaker 1: rou here for five minutes while I drop the dog off?
Speaker 1: And she like doesn't mind at all. So even like that,
Speaker 1: so that interaction in the morning, like we know everything
Speaker 1: about her and we're like always soaked for her, and
Speaker 1: when something happens, you know, like I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: just having a regular place that you go to each morning.
Speaker 1: Is something so small that you can do another one.
Speaker 1: This is so funny. So getting involved with kids' social events.
Speaker 1: So Charlie sent me the old like the day kid
Speaker 1: that we're leaving, they're having like a Christmas picnic, and
Speaker 1: I was like, lo, and then I was like oh,
Speaker 1: should we go? And he was like, yeah, we probably
Speaker 1: should go, and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, oh shit, we should go way so cute,
Speaker 2: we should go.
Speaker 1: So we're going to go to that, And I felt
Speaker 1: like it was really important because in the days that
Speaker 1: we're walking home, like of course, just as we move
Speaker 1: daycares now, they're like obsessed with each other, all the kids,
Speaker 1: and she's always saying their names, and I always walk
Speaker 1: home with this one dad or this one mom after
Speaker 1: school and blah blah blah, and I'm like, shit, like
Speaker 1: I'd love to keep in contact with them and like
Speaker 1: invite them to Rou's birthday party or you know, like
Speaker 1: they all live in the same area as me. And
Speaker 1: so I was like, actually, we should go to this
Speaker 1: picnic because we always complain about like how are they
Speaker 1: all friends? We're not friends, They're not like us or something.
Speaker 1: So we're like, we're going to this picnic with a
Speaker 1: mission to make friends with them so that we don't
Speaker 1: lose those contacts because she really likes those kids.
Speaker 3: You know, try not to come on too strong, Okay,
Speaker 3: all right.
Speaker 1: I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Even with ballet.
Speaker 1: I took Rude to her ballet rehearsal yesterday and one
Speaker 1: of the moms, like I've been seeing for a few weeks,
Speaker 1: she was like, oh, my name's Kylie and like formally
Speaker 1: introduced herself and I'm like I'm kay, and we got
Speaker 1: to chatting and it was a really nice convo and
Speaker 1: like that just happened organically. You know, we've been going
Speaker 1: for a month now and now we've been saying hi
Speaker 1: and hi, and you know, what are you doing after this?
Speaker 1: And now we're kind of like at the point now
Speaker 1: where maybe the kids might have a play one day,
Speaker 1: you know, like just easing into it. And then a
Speaker 1: lot of people say, I know, we're not there yet,
Speaker 1: but a lot of people say when the kids go
Speaker 1: to primary school, you end up making really good friends.
Speaker 1: So that's something that like I'm looking forward to. I
Speaker 1: guess because you're doing more play dates.
Speaker 3: And more they won't hang out, yeah.
Speaker 1: That you end up actually getting really friendly with different parents.
Speaker 1: So that's something I'm really looking forward to. And then
Speaker 1: the last one, which I stole really from u Kel,
Speaker 1: is having like at least I put one at least
Speaker 1: because not all of us are as I don't know,
Speaker 1: have as many friends as you do. To do something
Speaker 1: more regularly, but one thing and a month, like one
Speaker 1: social thing in the calendar a month for you to
Speaker 1: do well.
Speaker 2: Also, it's about finances, but just remember that a social
Speaker 2: thing doesn't have to cost anything. I make sure that
Speaker 2: I have, like if I haven't seen friends for a while,
Speaker 2: like at least a walk or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so true. It doesn't have to be.
Speaker 2: Anything that costs money. Although the tolls is still pretty
Speaker 2: fucking expensive to get.
Speaker 1: There, but you do get refunded.
Speaker 3: You do, which I love that.
Speaker 1: It's like force saving. So I wanted to end on
Speaker 1: some like legitimate tips, not that our tips weren't legitimate,
Speaker 1: but I found this non for profit called Center of
Speaker 1: Perinatal Excellence. It's COPE dot org dot au, and they
Speaker 1: had a big list, and I'll just touch on them
Speaker 1: really top line and we can put the link in
Speaker 1: the show notes. But it's how to combat loneliness and
Speaker 1: feelings of isolation that can come with motherhood and fatherhood.
Speaker 1: So one of them, bang on what you said before.
Speaker 1: Kel listening to the radio and music and podcasts or
Speaker 1: audio books, it can be really helpful when you're just
Speaker 1: hearing the voices of our wastes. Yes, yeah, and they
Speaker 1: say that it's an opportunity for mental and emotional stimulation
Speaker 1: and growth. So that's really a good thing to combat,
Speaker 1: especially if you're in that like very early kid phase.
Speaker 1: Schedule a daily outing, so like what I said about
Speaker 1: getting new coffee in the morning, or maybe going to
Speaker 1: the post office or you know, heading out for lunch,
Speaker 1: going to the park. Making sure you've got like one
Speaker 1: thing a day that you can have a meaningful interaction
Speaker 1: with someone else. Saying yes to offers of help. I
Speaker 1: think all of us are pretty bad at saying yes.
Speaker 3: People don't offer if they don't want.
Speaker 1: To exactly, and I feel like I'm always like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's fine, and then I'm like, fuck, that would have
Speaker 1: probably been really good, you know. Like I was actually
Speaker 1: speaking to my best girlfriend and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: what time, Well, you know, when are you getting to Queensland.
Speaker 1: When I said, oh, you know, we're getting there on
Speaker 1: the stage, She's like, oh, if you want to leave
Speaker 1: roo with us overnight so you and Charlie can have
Speaker 1: like a little bit of a baby moon, like a
Speaker 1: night away, like we're so happy to take rue. And
Speaker 1: I actually said, you know what, that sounds really nice.
Speaker 1: I'm going to take you up on that offer, because
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm kidding, why did I offer?
Speaker 2: It would have been like, oh my god, that's so nice,
Speaker 2: Like I'm glad that she actually has taken me up
Speaker 2: on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, exactly. Another one was just tell others how
Speaker 1: you're feeling. Sometimes voicing it and saying stuff out loud
Speaker 1: can be really helpful, and then if people know that
Speaker 1: you're feeling a certain way, they'll make a bit more
Speaker 1: of an effort to check in and things like that.
Speaker 2: I love this so much, and as someone that's bills
Speaker 2: my guts to pretty much anyone that will listen, however
Speaker 2: I'm feeling that day. Shout out to Beth, a shitter
Speaker 2: who I now play netball with. Last night after a game.
Speaker 3: She just copped it.
Speaker 2: Actually, he sort of really unloaded on each other for
Speaker 2: about twenty minutes postgame.
Speaker 3: It was great.
Speaker 1: That's so nice. That's so nice. It was so nice.
Speaker 2: It was the only conversation I'd had all day, even
Speaker 2: though I'd actually like been into podcasts at Mama Mia
Speaker 2: and I'd like done all of this stuff, but it
Speaker 2: was my only proper conversation all day that was about life.
Speaker 1: About life and not work exactly. On that note, join
Speaker 1: groups and activity so an eddie team striking up conversation
Speaker 1: and then consider like a little project or activity or
Speaker 1: a hobby that you can just kind of pick up
Speaker 1: and leave just a sense of you time, even if
Speaker 1: you're because sometimes loneliness is just like having too much
Speaker 1: time around your kids almost like just you're yearning for
Speaker 1: a bit of you time and something that's like emotionally
Speaker 1: and mentally stimulating just for you. So I'll pop that
Speaker 1: link in the show notes so you can read through,
Speaker 1: because they do a lovely kind of summary of all
Speaker 1: of that stuff. But that's it today. I hope that
Speaker 1: everyone found that conversation interesting and a little bit less
Speaker 1: lonely as a result of it.
Speaker 2: Well, even if you've just been listening to us, hopefully
Speaker 2: that makes you feel a little bit less lonely. I
Speaker 2: know that people probably feel a bit weird about doing it,
Speaker 2: but if you're looking for a mum friend, please pop
Speaker 2: it in the group like that the group to be
Speaker 2: for that, like just say you can post it anonymously
Speaker 2: if you like, Hey, I'm in X area, I'm looking
Speaker 2: for a friend, or ask me and I'll pop it
Speaker 2: on the AESSR in.
Speaker 1: Star like yes that I'm not dear, use us.
Speaker 2: Use us, use it. And also on that note, we
Speaker 2: hear you. We have been hinting and promising a meet
Speaker 2: up for years pretty much it will happen, So keys
Speaker 2: going to take a bit of time off with her baby.
Speaker 3: She is having a baby. Com say that so weirdly.
Speaker 1: Because we still haven't kind of come to terms with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what we're thinking about like eventually we will like
Speaker 2: relaunch a season. We're still sort of like ironing out
Speaker 2: what we're going to do. It definitely won't be what
Speaker 2: is currently happening whilst she's on matt leave, but we
Speaker 2: are planning to do a meet up kind of like
Speaker 2: as a relaunch party for the season. So it will
Speaker 2: definitely be happening in the early stages of next year.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, we're excited about that. It's going to be
Speaker 1: a new era for us and with a big focus
Speaker 1: on community, live, community and live. I was trying to
Speaker 1: say in life, in real life meetups and more connection
Speaker 1: to you guys, because it's been I mean, we've been
Speaker 1: doing this for two years now, we haven't done something
Speaker 1: in person.
Speaker 3: That's because they're like really unorganized.
Speaker 2: Also, you're not unorganized, but you're well, you've just you
Speaker 2: get a lot of ailments.
Speaker 1: Yeah, lots of things have happened. We're going to be
Speaker 1: better next year twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, well I've been good at like outsourcing, so
Speaker 2: you have been.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, that's the end of the show today.
Speaker 1: Guys, thank you so much for joining us today. If
Speaker 1: you love this episode, share it because loneliness is such
Speaker 1: a universal feeling, so I reckon there's probably someone out
Speaker 1: there who might enjoy this podcast.
Speaker 2: Even if it is just listening to our sometimes innoing
Speaker 2: voices exactly exactly, and remember to tag us at Kyries,
Speaker 2: at Kelly I'm score mccaren and at essr dot pod.
Speaker 2: This episode was produced by more Kelly mccaren key Resells,
Speaker 2: with audio production by Mattie Joanna will be back in
Speaker 2: your ears next week for the final episode of the season.
Speaker 3: Bye Bye,