Speaker 1: You're listening to another mia podcast.
Speaker 2: Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We
Speaker 2: have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the
Speaker 2: Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past
Speaker 2: and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
Speaker 2: Torres Rate islander cultures.
Speaker 3: Hi, it's Anal's Todd here from this Glorious Mess, introducing
Speaker 3: hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across
Speaker 3: the Mummamere network, just for you to escape the chaos
Speaker 3: and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather
Speaker 3: warming up. We've got episodes of Parents Anonymous to share.
Speaker 3: Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You
Speaker 3: share your deepest parenting shame and myself and Stacey Hicks
Speaker 3: rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points,
Speaker 3: so really you can't lose. And if you want more,
Speaker 3: there's a link in the show. Enjoy Parents Anonymous. Welcome
Speaker 3: to this Glorious Mess. I'm Analie's todd, single mother with
Speaker 3: fifty to fifty shared custody of two tween boys. I
Speaker 3: work full time and I am currently behind on.
Speaker 1: My tax Thanks for all the admissions there, and I'm
Speaker 1: Stacy Hicks. I'm the deputy editor here at MoMA Meyer
Speaker 1: and this week I ticked not one, but two daycare
Speaker 1: bugs off my big go card. As you can probably hear,
Speaker 1: I'm still dealing with the second one, but where fluids
Speaker 1: ended up coming out both ends and my nose simultaneously.
Speaker 3: And I'm just so happy to be sitting with you
Speaker 3: in a studio. Yeah, are you loving this? I'm a
Speaker 3: little cuddlef No, thank you, Okay, welcome back to parents Anonymous.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is our favorite time of week where we
Speaker 1: hear your parenting confessions and basically just feel better about
Speaker 1: being hot messes together.
Speaker 3: Group therapy, you know. So you share your story, you
Speaker 3: get the guilt of your chest, and we give you
Speaker 3: points based on our very serious and scientific grading system. Yes,
Speaker 3: otherwise known as a vibe check.
Speaker 1: Vibe checks only. So it's part church confessional, part game show.
Speaker 1: So we give you our points, but basically the worst
Speaker 1: it is, the more points you get, so there's no losers.
Speaker 1: It is the best worst parenting. Absolutely, it's the best. Well,
Speaker 1: my daughter is three, so this is my confession this week.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you. Three going on four Primetime for tantrums,
Speaker 1: and this week she was having one of her little
Speaker 1: meltdowns over something I'm sure was very very important to her.
Speaker 1: I can't I think I peeled the banana wrong or something.
Speaker 1: And while she was having a meltdown, now she stomps
Speaker 1: her foot for emphasis on a certain word, so she'll
Speaker 1: say that was not done the right way, and she'll
Speaker 1: stop on that word, and her dad and I just
Speaker 1: think that that's so funny, and we were trying to
Speaker 1: take it very seriously, but we both ended up with
Speaker 1: the giggles. And the more funny we thought it was,
Speaker 1: the more upset she got by us thinking that it
Speaker 1: was funny.
Speaker 3: I am very serious little issue. Yeah, I'm with her.
Speaker 3: If I was really annoyed about something and then someone
Speaker 3: was laughing at me, that would just make me so
Speaker 3: much angry.
Speaker 1: Before we were trying to stifle the laughs, but it
Speaker 1: was just too funny watching her try and be very
Speaker 1: serious about a very silly little issue.
Speaker 3: I reckon next time, instead of laughing, you could just
Speaker 3: pretend you're crying.
Speaker 1: That is what we should have done. I think we're
Speaker 1: here with you, we feel we feel you on.
Speaker 3: This, and pretend that you're crying. Instead of laughing, and
Speaker 3: that would be better for her feelings. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the way a banana is peeled is very important.
Speaker 1: You're right, I should have been more serious about that.
Speaker 3: Now, this show does not exist without your guilty confession,
Speaker 3: so please leave us a voice to note, or if
Speaker 3: you want to be fully anonymous, you can email us
Speaker 3: and we'll even read them out for you.
Speaker 1: And on today's show, our mystery confessions are called my
Speaker 1: baby doubles up as a plate. My office is daycare
Speaker 1: and it's not that bad.
Speaker 3: All right, let's go. Let's go. Confession one, my baby
Speaker 3: doubles as a plate. I found a rash on my
Speaker 3: daughter's head and immediately panicked. Of course, I jumped onto
Speaker 3: Google and found the worst possible scenarios, terrible diseases, contagious infections,
Speaker 3: And after working myself up for well over an hour,
Speaker 3: I investigated the rash further with my phone torch, even
Speaker 3: touching the rash il and it moved. I wiped it
Speaker 3: again and it slid around. That deadly rash was tomato
Speaker 3: sauce from a pie I had eaten over the top
Speaker 3: of my daughter's head literally hours earlier. I feel like
Speaker 3: it's not the fact that she panicked over the rash.
Speaker 3: That's very responsible parenting. Checking DODR Google can be dangerous,
Speaker 3: but you know she was very responsible. My concern is
Speaker 3: using a baby's head while eating what I would assume
Speaker 3: to be a hot meat pie probably not the safest,
Speaker 3: best recommended practice.
Speaker 1: Look, you saying this means that you did not have
Speaker 1: what I had, which is what we call a velcrow child,
Speaker 1: which is that you can't so much a step one
Speaker 1: foot away from them without them screaming, and so you
Speaker 1: get to the point where they just live on your chest.
Speaker 1: My daughter, for the first three to four months of
Speaker 1: her life, was permanently in a carrier on my chest
Speaker 1: or my husband's chest, so every meal was eaten over
Speaker 1: the top of her. Look, should there be a barrier,
Speaker 1: probably lay a napkin down on their head.
Speaker 3: That's a good little tissue. That's a nice little.
Speaker 1: Accessory for them too. You know, keep so busy, do
Speaker 1: what you gotta do, and when mama's hungry, like she's
Speaker 1: looking after a little human life, you just got to
Speaker 1: eat when you can.
Speaker 3: It's all character resilience training. It's all resilience training. That's
Speaker 3: exactly right.
Speaker 1: It's fine, like they learned to deal with the elements.
Speaker 1: Then anything could strike.
Speaker 3: And she was on guard for the baby's health because
Speaker 3: she was concerned it was a ration. Immediately acted. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and it turns out to just be a little dribble
Speaker 3: of tomato sauce.
Speaker 1: Lucky she touched it. Imagine if she'd gone all the
Speaker 1: way to the doctors.
Speaker 3: Oh, that would be so embarrassing, Like you.
Speaker 1: When you don't want to touch a rash, I would
Speaker 1: be all up in there.
Speaker 3: So lucky she did.
Speaker 1: She'd rocked up and be like, my baby's got necrotizing
Speaker 1: fashi ITAs or one of the weird diseases she's googled,
Speaker 1: and then she gets there and it's tomato sauce.
Speaker 3: That would be so embarrassing. All right, So in terms
Speaker 3: of scoring this out of ten, what are we thinking? Stace?
Speaker 1: Look, I think you are able to laugh at yourself
Speaker 1: about it, which is great, and no harm done. The
Speaker 1: baby's fine. It was just the sauce. It wasn't the
Speaker 1: piping hot meat from the middle of the pie. So
Speaker 1: we're fine. I'm giving you nine tommy sauces out of ten.
Speaker 3: I think that you're right. It wasn't hot meat pie.
Speaker 3: It was cold tomato sauce. So I'd like to retract
Speaker 3: my concerning statements from previously discussed concerns. And I think
Speaker 3: that it's a funny story. It would have been funny
Speaker 3: if she actually went to the doctor, So I'll take
Speaker 3: off a few points for that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you've gone all the way ended up at
Speaker 1: the er, that would have been oh ideal for us.
Speaker 3: That would have been the storytelling purposes and out of
Speaker 3: ten for drama. So for that, I'll remove some points
Speaker 3: and just give you a cheeky seven party pies out
Speaker 3: of ten. Love it? Okay?
Speaker 1: So next we have my office is daycare. I'm currently
Speaker 1: in my final week of maternity leave and go back
Speaker 1: next week full time. During my leave, my husband and
Speaker 1: I have moved, so we weren't able to get on
Speaker 1: any daycare waiting lists early enough. All the reputable ones
Speaker 1: in this area required an in person visit, and so
Speaker 1: daycare won't start for our son for another six weeks
Speaker 1: when his spot opens up. Since we both work from home,
Speaker 1: have relatively flexible jobs, and a couple of family members
Speaker 1: nearby ISH who can help for a few hours here
Speaker 1: and there, we decided to lie to my work and
Speaker 1: say the baby is at daycare. I'd rather get paid
Speaker 1: than have to take another six weeks and risk losing
Speaker 1: my job.
Speaker 3: Okay, the confession is that she's lied.
Speaker 1: She's lying to work, so she's got to make it
Speaker 1: work for six weeks with this baby at home. We
Speaker 1: don't know how old this baby is. This baby might
Speaker 1: be six months of which might be a little bit
Speaker 1: easier a one year old. A one year old's trickier. Oh,
Speaker 1: they're not napping as much.
Speaker 3: And they do like to move around. Yeah, and they like.
Speaker 1: To squeal at random time. So if you're on a
Speaker 1: very serious meeting, that will be hard to contain. Yes,
Speaker 1: but between the two of them, and between family members
Speaker 1: coming and being able to help out at important times,
Speaker 1: they'll be able to do it. You know what, Actually,
Speaker 1: this kid will at least be well for the first
Speaker 1: six weeks of her time back at work, because that
Speaker 1: is the hardest part for working parents when you go
Speaker 1: back to work, then your child immediately gets sick at
Speaker 1: daycare and you end up having to take a week
Speaker 1: sick leave anyway, like you right now, yeah, right now,
Speaker 1: back to back daycare bugs. So really, tactically, maybe this
Speaker 1: is a good ease end the back to work situation.
Speaker 3: I also, I don't advocate for lying to your work,
Speaker 3: but I would like to question the workplace if she
Speaker 3: feels the need to lie, Like hear it, Mamma Mia,
Speaker 3: we wouldn't need to lie. Yeah, I could just say,
Speaker 3: very very honestly, this is the situation, and Mama Mia
Speaker 3: would say, don't worry, We'll make it work.
Speaker 1: Everyone knows that I've had it coming out both ends
Speaker 1: for weeks.
Speaker 3: And we can all hear it now. So I just
Speaker 3: feel like that the issue is in the workplace culture.
Speaker 3: It is not fostering parent friendly terms of honesty and communication.
Speaker 3: So points off for the workplace, not for the.
Speaker 1: Lie, but not for her. No, she's making your work.
Speaker 1: This is life as a working parent, really, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Like it's the juggle and it's real.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I think, look, you're not permanently lying, You're not
Speaker 1: trying to get away with it in the long term.
Speaker 1: It's just a means to an end. So I think
Speaker 1: for six weeks it's okay.
Speaker 3: I didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1: No, oh god, no, no, you're in for a world
Speaker 1: of pain. We're not gonna lie about that. This is
Speaker 1: not going to be fun.
Speaker 3: Working at home with toddler's is a worst Like.
Speaker 1: I actually think you're better off with a baby or
Speaker 1: a one year old or whatever this baby is rather
Speaker 1: than a toddler. That would just be a no go altogether. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because there's only so much Bluey can do for you
Speaker 1: in terms of parenting.
Speaker 3: Because then once they get to that age where they
Speaker 3: can sit on an iPad when they're sick for hours
Speaker 3: and you can work next to them with the only
Speaker 3: interruptions being the snacks. Yeah, that's the phase I'm in.
Speaker 2: It.
Speaker 3: Yeah, much easier for you, So much easier. I could
Speaker 3: just work from home and pretend that kids weren't there.
Speaker 3: And so what are we rating her for this one?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: I think we're just going to have to really add
Speaker 3: points on for the terrible workplace that she works in
Speaker 3: where she cannot tell the truth, And for that, I
Speaker 3: give her eight and a half white lies out of ten.
Speaker 1: And I'm giving her a few bonus points for being
Speaker 1: so optimistic and thinking that she can do it the
Speaker 1: first six weeks back at work, where you're trying to
Speaker 1: get your brain into gear while you are parenting a
Speaker 1: little bubba that to you all the time. So I
Speaker 1: am giving you nine lives out of ten. And I
Speaker 1: want to make it clear when I said about it
Speaker 1: coming out both ends, it was not in my workplace.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been away from the work.
Speaker 3: Thanks doing that. Goodness, thank you for that caveat, And
Speaker 3: to our very very delulu dilemma Confession three, it's not
Speaker 3: that bad. I woke up at five point thirty this
Speaker 3: morning to my baby, who is in the middle of
Speaker 3: that fabled four month sleep regression, screaming her head off
Speaker 3: again because she's tired and frustrated that she's having such
Speaker 3: a hard time falling asleep. My husband, who was awake
Speaker 3: with me the entire time, is back at work, and
Speaker 3: I have this cranky, restless baby all by myself today.
Speaker 3: Then a thought popped into my head, but this is
Speaker 3: the least amount of responsibility I've ever had. My job
Speaker 3: before maternity leave was awful, and I was responsible for
Speaker 3: so much and always on the clock. I was on
Speaker 3: call for all my friends and work dramas constantly, which
Speaker 3: I loved, but it did get draining. But now they
Speaker 3: started pulling back on phone calls because they assume I'm
Speaker 3: overwhelmed when they ask me how I am I play
Speaker 3: up how bad it is because I am enjoying this
Speaker 3: freedom so much? Wow, is it bad that sleep deprivation
Speaker 3: is better than my old life?
Speaker 1: Look, you're a better girl than me, because I quite
Speaker 1: frankly found sleep deprivation horrendous. I felt like there was
Speaker 1: nothing worse in the world than the sleep deprivation. But
Speaker 1: I love the way that she's looking at this, because
Speaker 1: really it is all about perspective, isn't it. If you're
Speaker 1: thinking that that's the hardest thing in the world, then
Speaker 1: it does feel like it is.
Speaker 3: But really she's right. Every baby's different because you know,
Speaker 3: sleep regression if that's sort of the worst thing, and
Speaker 3: she's not struggling too badly with it. I had this
Speaker 3: experience with my first. My second was a nightmare and
Speaker 3: I had a newborn Anna toddler don't recommend, But with
Speaker 3: my first, it was just like looking after a little
Speaker 3: worm that just I would go and go for walks,
Speaker 3: go and get coffee and cake. I would just watch
Speaker 3: TV because it's not too early for screen time. You
Speaker 3: could just sit there and feed in front of the
Speaker 3: TV and binge watch TV shows. I actually bloody loved it.
Speaker 1: I actually have forgotten this part until we've spoken about
Speaker 1: it now, just how much Gray's anatomy I got through
Speaker 1: in the early days of feeding. Like, you never get
Speaker 1: that time back. No, you never get to sit on
Speaker 1: the lounge for hours on end again until they're out
Speaker 1: of the house, I assume. But that's a long way
Speaker 1: off for me.
Speaker 3: So you're right, I know that's really happening. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean, she won't be thinking this if she does
Speaker 3: have a second or third or fourth, because then you're
Speaker 3: looking after too many people.
Speaker 1: Yes, you don't get that time.
Speaker 3: No, you don't just get to sit around and watch TV.
Speaker 3: Your first it's just a little cheeky walk. It's a
Speaker 3: coffee and a cake. You know. You can just live
Speaker 3: in pajamas.
Speaker 1: That is the best bit is that you can be
Speaker 1: in an elasticized waistband at all times. Jeans don't have
Speaker 1: to come anywhere near you. Quite frankly, that was my
Speaker 1: favorite part of maternity leave actually.
Speaker 3: So I think that this person is very very well
Speaker 3: versed in silver lining syndrome, which is my brand, and
Speaker 3: I respect that all about this. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 3: that she's not even looking at it in the rear
Speaker 3: view mirror. She's in it, and she realizes that working
Speaker 3: is actually worse than having just that little newbie worm
Speaker 3: time and TV binge watching time. Yeah, because then it
Speaker 3: does get worse again than working, and then by the
Speaker 3: time the end of your mat leave comes around, you
Speaker 3: want to go back to work because they're hard. Then,
Speaker 3: whereas this little worm phase, it's like the fourth trimester,
Speaker 3: it's like glorious. So how many worms are you giving
Speaker 3: this one? Out of ten? I'm actually going to go
Speaker 3: really high. I'm going to go ten worms out of
Speaker 3: ten because she's in the silver lining and she's in
Speaker 3: the gratitude phase in the trenches, and that is very evolved. Yeah.
Speaker 3: For that, my little breastfeeding hat or bottlefeeding hat goes
Speaker 3: off to you, yep, because this is glorious and you
Speaker 3: have completely owned it and realized it. You are very evolved.
Speaker 3: And it's ten worms out of ten. Yep.
Speaker 1: It's taken me until now to think about this, so
Speaker 1: you're doing much better than me. So for that, I
Speaker 1: feel like I have to give you ten seasons of
Speaker 1: Gray's Anatomy out of ten.
Speaker 3: Enjoy. Are we united on who we feel is the winner?
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like we were quite generous this week
Speaker 1: with all three yes, you're sick.
Speaker 3: I'm just yeah, just do stup on medications. I think
Speaker 3: everyone's wonderful. So we've got the tomato sauce on the head. Yes,
Speaker 3: I took points off because she didn't actually go to
Speaker 3: the doctor and that would have been a funnier story.
Speaker 1: And I added some because I just think.
Speaker 3: You got to eat when you got to eat, and
Speaker 3: lying to your work about having daycare, My office is
Speaker 3: a daycare. I mean, I feel for her because, as
Speaker 3: I said, I feel like that's her work places. Yet yeah,
Speaker 3: hers for having to lie. I really think that this
Speaker 3: highly evolved confession, the fact that she realized at what
Speaker 3: everyone does describe as the worst stage, it is actually
Speaker 3: a little bit easier than all of the other stages
Speaker 3: with hindsight.
Speaker 1: It really is with hindsight, but she's in the moment
Speaker 1: and has figured that out, and that's incredible.
Speaker 3: It's highly evolved, and so she's definitely the most winner, resilient,
Speaker 3: brilliant winner. Congratulations, well done, well done, enjoy that little
Speaker 3: worm time designing downhill from here.
Speaker 1: And if you've got a confession, we'd love to hear it.
Speaker 1: Please send us your secret chams. All the details are
Speaker 1: in the show notes.
Speaker 3: See you next time. Bye. If you're looking for something
Speaker 3: else to listen to, Mama Mia is officially presenting one
Speaker 3: hundred hours of summer listens, from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion, beauty,
Speaker 3: and more. There's a link in the show notes