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Speaker 1: You're listening to another mia podcast.

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Speaker 2: Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We

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Speaker 2: have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the

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Speaker 2: Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past

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Speaker 2: and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and

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Speaker 2: Torres Rate islander cultures.

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Speaker 3: Hi, it's Anal's Todd here from this Glorious Mess, introducing

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Speaker 3: hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across

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Speaker 3: the Mummamere network, just for you to escape the chaos

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Speaker 3: and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather

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Speaker 3: warming up. We've got episodes of Parents Anonymous to share.

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Speaker 3: Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You

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Speaker 3: share your deepest parenting shame and myself and Stacey Hicks

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Speaker 3: rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points,

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Speaker 3: so really you can't lose. And if you want more,

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Speaker 3: there's a link in the show. Enjoy Parents Anonymous. Welcome

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Speaker 3: to this Glorious Mess. I'm Analie's todd, single mother with

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Speaker 3: fifty to fifty shared custody of two tween boys. I

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Speaker 3: work full time and I am currently behind on.

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Speaker 1: My tax Thanks for all the admissions there, and I'm

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Speaker 1: Stacy Hicks. I'm the deputy editor here at MoMA Meyer

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Speaker 1: and this week I ticked not one, but two daycare

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Speaker 1: bugs off my big go card. As you can probably hear,

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Speaker 1: I'm still dealing with the second one, but where fluids

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Speaker 1: ended up coming out both ends and my nose simultaneously.

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Speaker 3: And I'm just so happy to be sitting with you

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Speaker 3: in a studio. Yeah, are you loving this? I'm a

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Speaker 3: little cuddlef No, thank you, Okay, welcome back to parents Anonymous.

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Speaker 1: Yes, this is our favorite time of week where we

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Speaker 1: hear your parenting confessions and basically just feel better about

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Speaker 1: being hot messes together.

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Speaker 3: Group therapy, you know. So you share your story, you

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Speaker 3: get the guilt of your chest, and we give you

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Speaker 3: points based on our very serious and scientific grading system. Yes,

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Speaker 3: otherwise known as a vibe check.

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Speaker 1: Vibe checks only. So it's part church confessional, part game show.

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Speaker 1: So we give you our points, but basically the worst

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Speaker 1: it is, the more points you get, so there's no losers.

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Speaker 1: It is the best worst parenting. Absolutely, it's the best. Well,

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Speaker 1: my daughter is three, so this is my confession this week.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you. Three going on four Primetime for tantrums,

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Speaker 1: and this week she was having one of her little

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Speaker 1: meltdowns over something I'm sure was very very important to her.

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Speaker 1: I can't I think I peeled the banana wrong or something.

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Speaker 1: And while she was having a meltdown, now she stomps

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Speaker 1: her foot for emphasis on a certain word, so she'll

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Speaker 1: say that was not done the right way, and she'll

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Speaker 1: stop on that word, and her dad and I just

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Speaker 1: think that that's so funny, and we were trying to

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Speaker 1: take it very seriously, but we both ended up with

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Speaker 1: the giggles. And the more funny we thought it was,

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Speaker 1: the more upset she got by us thinking that it

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Speaker 1: was funny.

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Speaker 3: I am very serious little issue. Yeah, I'm with her.

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Speaker 3: If I was really annoyed about something and then someone

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Speaker 3: was laughing at me, that would just make me so

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Speaker 3: much angry.

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Speaker 1: Before we were trying to stifle the laughs, but it

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Speaker 1: was just too funny watching her try and be very

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Speaker 1: serious about a very silly little issue.

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Speaker 3: I reckon next time, instead of laughing, you could just

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Speaker 3: pretend you're crying.

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Speaker 1: That is what we should have done. I think we're

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Speaker 1: here with you, we feel we feel you on.

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Speaker 3: This, and pretend that you're crying. Instead of laughing, and

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Speaker 3: that would be better for her feelings. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the way a banana is peeled is very important.

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Speaker 1: You're right, I should have been more serious about that.

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Speaker 3: Now, this show does not exist without your guilty confession,

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Speaker 3: so please leave us a voice to note, or if

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Speaker 3: you want to be fully anonymous, you can email us

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Speaker 3: and we'll even read them out for you.

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Speaker 1: And on today's show, our mystery confessions are called my

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Speaker 1: baby doubles up as a plate. My office is daycare

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Speaker 1: and it's not that bad.

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Speaker 3: All right, let's go. Let's go. Confession one, my baby

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Speaker 3: doubles as a plate. I found a rash on my

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Speaker 3: daughter's head and immediately panicked. Of course, I jumped onto

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Speaker 3: Google and found the worst possible scenarios, terrible diseases, contagious infections,

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Speaker 3: And after working myself up for well over an hour,

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Speaker 3: I investigated the rash further with my phone torch, even

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Speaker 3: touching the rash il and it moved. I wiped it

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Speaker 3: again and it slid around. That deadly rash was tomato

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Speaker 3: sauce from a pie I had eaten over the top

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Speaker 3: of my daughter's head literally hours earlier. I feel like

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Speaker 3: it's not the fact that she panicked over the rash.

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Speaker 3: That's very responsible parenting. Checking DODR Google can be dangerous,

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Speaker 3: but you know she was very responsible. My concern is

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Speaker 3: using a baby's head while eating what I would assume

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Speaker 3: to be a hot meat pie probably not the safest,

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Speaker 3: best recommended practice.

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Speaker 1: Look, you saying this means that you did not have

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Speaker 1: what I had, which is what we call a velcrow child,

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Speaker 1: which is that you can't so much a step one

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Speaker 1: foot away from them without them screaming, and so you

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Speaker 1: get to the point where they just live on your chest.

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Speaker 1: My daughter, for the first three to four months of

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Speaker 1: her life, was permanently in a carrier on my chest

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Speaker 1: or my husband's chest, so every meal was eaten over

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Speaker 1: the top of her. Look, should there be a barrier,

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Speaker 1: probably lay a napkin down on their head.

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Speaker 3: That's a good little tissue. That's a nice little.

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Speaker 1: Accessory for them too. You know, keep so busy, do

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Speaker 1: what you gotta do, and when mama's hungry, like she's

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Speaker 1: looking after a little human life, you just got to

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Speaker 1: eat when you can.

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Speaker 3: It's all character resilience training. It's all resilience training. That's

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Speaker 3: exactly right.

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Speaker 1: It's fine, like they learned to deal with the elements.

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Speaker 1: Then anything could strike.

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Speaker 3: And she was on guard for the baby's health because

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Speaker 3: she was concerned it was a ration. Immediately acted. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and it turns out to just be a little dribble

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Speaker 3: of tomato sauce.

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Speaker 1: Lucky she touched it. Imagine if she'd gone all the

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Speaker 1: way to the doctors.

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Speaker 3: Oh, that would be so embarrassing, Like you.

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Speaker 1: When you don't want to touch a rash, I would

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Speaker 1: be all up in there.

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Speaker 3: So lucky she did.

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Speaker 1: She'd rocked up and be like, my baby's got necrotizing

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Speaker 1: fashi ITAs or one of the weird diseases she's googled,

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Speaker 1: and then she gets there and it's tomato sauce.

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Speaker 3: That would be so embarrassing. All right, So in terms

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Speaker 3: of scoring this out of ten, what are we thinking? Stace?

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Speaker 1: Look, I think you are able to laugh at yourself

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Speaker 1: about it, which is great, and no harm done. The

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Speaker 1: baby's fine. It was just the sauce. It wasn't the

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Speaker 1: piping hot meat from the middle of the pie. So

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Speaker 1: we're fine. I'm giving you nine tommy sauces out of ten.

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Speaker 3: I think that you're right. It wasn't hot meat pie.

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Speaker 3: It was cold tomato sauce. So I'd like to retract

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Speaker 3: my concerning statements from previously discussed concerns. And I think

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Speaker 3: that it's a funny story. It would have been funny

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Speaker 3: if she actually went to the doctor, So I'll take

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Speaker 3: off a few points for that. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if you've gone all the way ended up at

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Speaker 1: the er, that would have been oh ideal for us.

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Speaker 3: That would have been the storytelling purposes and out of

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Speaker 3: ten for drama. So for that, I'll remove some points

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Speaker 3: and just give you a cheeky seven party pies out

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Speaker 3: of ten. Love it? Okay?

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Speaker 1: So next we have my office is daycare. I'm currently

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Speaker 1: in my final week of maternity leave and go back

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Speaker 1: next week full time. During my leave, my husband and

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Speaker 1: I have moved, so we weren't able to get on

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Speaker 1: any daycare waiting lists early enough. All the reputable ones

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Speaker 1: in this area required an in person visit, and so

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Speaker 1: daycare won't start for our son for another six weeks

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Speaker 1: when his spot opens up. Since we both work from home,

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Speaker 1: have relatively flexible jobs, and a couple of family members

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Speaker 1: nearby ISH who can help for a few hours here

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Speaker 1: and there, we decided to lie to my work and

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Speaker 1: say the baby is at daycare. I'd rather get paid

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Speaker 1: than have to take another six weeks and risk losing

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Speaker 1: my job.

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Speaker 3: Okay, the confession is that she's lied.

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Speaker 1: She's lying to work, so she's got to make it

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Speaker 1: work for six weeks with this baby at home. We

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Speaker 1: don't know how old this baby is. This baby might

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Speaker 1: be six months of which might be a little bit

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Speaker 1: easier a one year old. A one year old's trickier. Oh,

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Speaker 1: they're not napping as much.

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Speaker 3: And they do like to move around. Yeah, and they like.

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Speaker 1: To squeal at random time. So if you're on a

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Speaker 1: very serious meeting, that will be hard to contain. Yes,

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Speaker 1: but between the two of them, and between family members

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Speaker 1: coming and being able to help out at important times,

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Speaker 1: they'll be able to do it. You know what, Actually,

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Speaker 1: this kid will at least be well for the first

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Speaker 1: six weeks of her time back at work, because that

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Speaker 1: is the hardest part for working parents when you go

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Speaker 1: back to work, then your child immediately gets sick at

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Speaker 1: daycare and you end up having to take a week

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Speaker 1: sick leave anyway, like you right now, yeah, right now,

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Speaker 1: back to back daycare bugs. So really, tactically, maybe this

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Speaker 1: is a good ease end the back to work situation.

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Speaker 3: I also, I don't advocate for lying to your work,

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Speaker 3: but I would like to question the workplace if she

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Speaker 3: feels the need to lie, Like hear it, Mamma Mia,

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Speaker 3: we wouldn't need to lie. Yeah, I could just say,

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Speaker 3: very very honestly, this is the situation, and Mama Mia

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Speaker 3: would say, don't worry, We'll make it work.

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Speaker 1: Everyone knows that I've had it coming out both ends

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Speaker 1: for weeks.

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Speaker 3: And we can all hear it now. So I just

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Speaker 3: feel like that the issue is in the workplace culture.

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Speaker 3: It is not fostering parent friendly terms of honesty and communication.

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Speaker 3: So points off for the workplace, not for the.

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Speaker 1: Lie, but not for her. No, she's making your work.

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Speaker 1: This is life as a working parent, really, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: Like it's the juggle and it's real.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I think, look, you're not permanently lying, You're not

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Speaker 1: trying to get away with it in the long term.

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Speaker 1: It's just a means to an end. So I think

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Speaker 1: for six weeks it's okay.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: No, oh god, no, no, you're in for a world

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Speaker 1: of pain. We're not gonna lie about that. This is

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Speaker 1: not going to be fun.

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Speaker 3: Working at home with toddler's is a worst Like.

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Speaker 1: I actually think you're better off with a baby or

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Speaker 1: a one year old or whatever this baby is rather

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Speaker 1: than a toddler. That would just be a no go altogether. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because there's only so much Bluey can do for you

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Speaker 1: in terms of parenting.

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Speaker 3: Because then once they get to that age where they

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Speaker 3: can sit on an iPad when they're sick for hours

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Speaker 3: and you can work next to them with the only

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Speaker 3: interruptions being the snacks. Yeah, that's the phase I'm in.

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Speaker 2: It.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, much easier for you, So much easier. I could

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Speaker 3: just work from home and pretend that kids weren't there.

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Speaker 3: And so what are we rating her for this one?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: I think we're just going to have to really add

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Speaker 3: points on for the terrible workplace that she works in

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Speaker 3: where she cannot tell the truth, And for that, I

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Speaker 3: give her eight and a half white lies out of ten.

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Speaker 1: And I'm giving her a few bonus points for being

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Speaker 1: so optimistic and thinking that she can do it the

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Speaker 1: first six weeks back at work, where you're trying to

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Speaker 1: get your brain into gear while you are parenting a

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Speaker 1: little bubba that to you all the time. So I

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Speaker 1: am giving you nine lives out of ten. And I

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Speaker 1: want to make it clear when I said about it

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Speaker 1: coming out both ends, it was not in my workplace.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've been away from the work.

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Speaker 3: Thanks doing that. Goodness, thank you for that caveat, And

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Speaker 3: to our very very delulu dilemma Confession three, it's not

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Speaker 3: that bad. I woke up at five point thirty this

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Speaker 3: morning to my baby, who is in the middle of

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Speaker 3: that fabled four month sleep regression, screaming her head off

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Speaker 3: again because she's tired and frustrated that she's having such

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Speaker 3: a hard time falling asleep. My husband, who was awake

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Speaker 3: with me the entire time, is back at work, and

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Speaker 3: I have this cranky, restless baby all by myself today.

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Speaker 3: Then a thought popped into my head, but this is

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Speaker 3: the least amount of responsibility I've ever had. My job

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Speaker 3: before maternity leave was awful, and I was responsible for

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Speaker 3: so much and always on the clock. I was on

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Speaker 3: call for all my friends and work dramas constantly, which

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Speaker 3: I loved, but it did get draining. But now they

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Speaker 3: started pulling back on phone calls because they assume I'm

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Speaker 3: overwhelmed when they ask me how I am I play

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Speaker 3: up how bad it is because I am enjoying this

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Speaker 3: freedom so much? Wow, is it bad that sleep deprivation

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Speaker 3: is better than my old life?

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Speaker 1: Look, you're a better girl than me, because I quite

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Speaker 1: frankly found sleep deprivation horrendous. I felt like there was

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Speaker 1: nothing worse in the world than the sleep deprivation. But

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Speaker 1: I love the way that she's looking at this, because

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Speaker 1: really it is all about perspective, isn't it. If you're

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Speaker 1: thinking that that's the hardest thing in the world, then

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Speaker 1: it does feel like it is.

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Speaker 3: But really she's right. Every baby's different because you know,

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Speaker 3: sleep regression if that's sort of the worst thing, and

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Speaker 3: she's not struggling too badly with it. I had this

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Speaker 3: experience with my first. My second was a nightmare and

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Speaker 3: I had a newborn Anna toddler don't recommend, But with

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Speaker 3: my first, it was just like looking after a little

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Speaker 3: worm that just I would go and go for walks,

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Speaker 3: go and get coffee and cake. I would just watch

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Speaker 3: TV because it's not too early for screen time. You

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Speaker 3: could just sit there and feed in front of the

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Speaker 3: TV and binge watch TV shows. I actually bloody loved it.

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Speaker 1: I actually have forgotten this part until we've spoken about

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Speaker 1: it now, just how much Gray's anatomy I got through

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Speaker 1: in the early days of feeding. Like, you never get

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Speaker 1: that time back. No, you never get to sit on

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Speaker 1: the lounge for hours on end again until they're out

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Speaker 1: of the house, I assume. But that's a long way

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Speaker 1: off for me.

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Speaker 3: So you're right, I know that's really happening. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: I mean, she won't be thinking this if she does

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Speaker 3: have a second or third or fourth, because then you're

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Speaker 3: looking after too many people.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you don't get that time.

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Speaker 3: No, you don't just get to sit around and watch TV.

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Speaker 3: Your first it's just a little cheeky walk. It's a

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Speaker 3: coffee and a cake. You know. You can just live

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Speaker 3: in pajamas.

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Speaker 1: That is the best bit is that you can be

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Speaker 1: in an elasticized waistband at all times. Jeans don't have

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Speaker 1: to come anywhere near you. Quite frankly, that was my

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Speaker 1: favorite part of maternity leave actually.

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Speaker 3: So I think that this person is very very well

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Speaker 3: versed in silver lining syndrome, which is my brand, and

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Speaker 3: I respect that all about this. Yeah, and I think

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Speaker 3: that she's not even looking at it in the rear

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Speaker 3: view mirror. She's in it, and she realizes that working

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Speaker 3: is actually worse than having just that little newbie worm

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Speaker 3: time and TV binge watching time. Yeah, because then it

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Speaker 3: does get worse again than working, and then by the

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Speaker 3: time the end of your mat leave comes around, you

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Speaker 3: want to go back to work because they're hard. Then,

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Speaker 3: whereas this little worm phase, it's like the fourth trimester,

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Speaker 3: it's like glorious. So how many worms are you giving

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Speaker 3: this one? Out of ten? I'm actually going to go

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Speaker 3: really high. I'm going to go ten worms out of

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Speaker 3: ten because she's in the silver lining and she's in

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Speaker 3: the gratitude phase in the trenches, and that is very evolved. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: For that, my little breastfeeding hat or bottlefeeding hat goes

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Speaker 3: off to you, yep, because this is glorious and you

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Speaker 3: have completely owned it and realized it. You are very evolved.

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Speaker 3: And it's ten worms out of ten. Yep.

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Speaker 1: It's taken me until now to think about this, so

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Speaker 1: you're doing much better than me. So for that, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I have to give you ten seasons of

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Speaker 1: Gray's Anatomy out of ten.

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Speaker 3: Enjoy. Are we united on who we feel is the winner?

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Speaker 1: Well, I feel like we were quite generous this week

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Speaker 1: with all three yes, you're sick.

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Speaker 3: I'm just yeah, just do stup on medications. I think

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Speaker 3: everyone's wonderful. So we've got the tomato sauce on the head. Yes,

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Speaker 3: I took points off because she didn't actually go to

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Speaker 3: the doctor and that would have been a funnier story.

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Speaker 1: And I added some because I just think.

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Speaker 3: You got to eat when you got to eat, and

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Speaker 3: lying to your work about having daycare, My office is

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Speaker 3: a daycare. I mean, I feel for her because, as

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Speaker 3: I said, I feel like that's her work places. Yet yeah,

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Speaker 3: hers for having to lie. I really think that this

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Speaker 3: highly evolved confession, the fact that she realized at what

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Speaker 3: everyone does describe as the worst stage, it is actually

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Speaker 3: a little bit easier than all of the other stages

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Speaker 3: with hindsight.

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Speaker 1: It really is with hindsight, but she's in the moment

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Speaker 1: and has figured that out, and that's incredible.

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Speaker 3: It's highly evolved, and so she's definitely the most winner, resilient,

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Speaker 3: brilliant winner. Congratulations, well done, well done, enjoy that little

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Speaker 3: worm time designing downhill from here.

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Speaker 1: And if you've got a confession, we'd love to hear it.

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Speaker 1: Please send us your secret chams. All the details are

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Speaker 1: in the show notes.

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Speaker 3: See you next time. Bye. If you're looking for something

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Speaker 3: else to listen to, Mama Mia is officially presenting one

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Speaker 3: hundred hours of summer listens, from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion, beauty,

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Speaker 3: and more. There's a link in the show notes