1 00:00:11,189 --> 00:00:13,909 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Maya podcast. 2 00:00:14,829 --> 00:00:18,349 Speaker 2: Mama Mayor acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:18,389 --> 00:00:20,349 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded. 4 00:00:19,949 --> 00:00:23,789 Speaker 3: On Everything's insane. The whole world is hyper. Your hyper. 5 00:00:23,789 --> 00:00:26,509 Speaker 3: You haven't slept at all, your mind is just running NonStop. 6 00:00:26,789 --> 00:00:28,909 Speaker 3: I've never done cocaine. I just want to make that clear. 7 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:32,069 Speaker 3: Nor I'm advocating it. Spot It is not different from that. 8 00:00:32,629 --> 00:00:35,549 Speaker 3: Look it is hell, there's no denying it. That first 9 00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:39,669 Speaker 3: month particularly is brutal. I think I have scoliosis from 10 00:00:39,709 --> 00:00:42,469 Speaker 3: that first month, like just bouncing her on a rubber 11 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,709 Speaker 3: ball all night and everything. And if you get through 12 00:00:45,709 --> 00:00:47,509 Speaker 3: it at the end of it with the child still 13 00:00:47,509 --> 00:00:57,829 Speaker 3: alive and both of you still relatively intact, that's fine. 14 00:01:00,549 --> 00:01:04,309 Speaker 2: The Baby Bubble with Claire and Jesse Stevens, it's definitely 15 00:01:04,309 --> 00:01:11,269 Speaker 2: not a parenting advice podcast. Claire, I've found this video 16 00:01:11,429 --> 00:01:15,509 Speaker 2: series that we posted on Instagram where we weighed up 17 00:01:15,589 --> 00:01:17,669 Speaker 2: the pros and cons of having a baby. It was 18 00:01:17,669 --> 00:01:20,469 Speaker 2: about five and a half years ago, Okay, and you 19 00:01:20,509 --> 00:01:23,869 Speaker 2: and I had a chat about what it would be 20 00:01:24,069 --> 00:01:26,909 Speaker 2: like to have a baby. I totally forgot about that. Yeah, 21 00:01:26,949 --> 00:01:29,349 Speaker 2: and I totally forgot about what I thought it would 22 00:01:29,349 --> 00:01:31,549 Speaker 2: be like yeah, yeah, yeah, we were really candid about 23 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,189 Speaker 2: what we thought I could like, Like, what I wanted 24 00:01:33,189 --> 00:01:35,709 Speaker 2: to do was play you this audio that I found 25 00:01:35,789 --> 00:01:37,789 Speaker 2: we can compare. I want you to tell me whether 26 00:01:37,829 --> 00:01:40,789 Speaker 2: it's what you expected, whether we were naive, idealistic, or 27 00:01:40,789 --> 00:01:43,669 Speaker 2: whether it's even better than what we thought. I'm gonna 28 00:01:43,669 --> 00:01:45,869 Speaker 2: play it to you. So Clara and I were just 29 00:01:45,909 --> 00:01:48,429 Speaker 2: talking about reasons to have a baby. 30 00:01:49,029 --> 00:01:49,949 Speaker 1: Claire, what was. 31 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:54,349 Speaker 2: Your what some of your something to cuddle yet wanting 32 00:01:54,389 --> 00:01:57,989 Speaker 2: to sniff. Yeah, I'd never liked my stomach, so I 33 00:01:57,989 --> 00:01:59,989 Speaker 2: feel like I'll quite like it when it's pregnant because 34 00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:04,309 Speaker 2: there'll be something in it. Yeah, to just like that's 35 00:02:04,309 --> 00:02:08,109 Speaker 2: why my stomach is like that. But I also think 36 00:02:08,149 --> 00:02:11,309 Speaker 2: that I just want to day off work. Do you 37 00:02:11,629 --> 00:02:15,749 Speaker 2: like just a holiday? Yeah, just a little six. 38 00:02:15,549 --> 00:02:17,429 Speaker 1: Months, six months. 39 00:02:17,629 --> 00:02:19,189 Speaker 2: The big one that came out of that for me 40 00:02:19,709 --> 00:02:21,789 Speaker 2: was that I just wanted to spend a lot of 41 00:02:21,869 --> 00:02:25,549 Speaker 2: days in cafes. You go to cafes, spend a lot 42 00:02:25,549 --> 00:02:27,909 Speaker 2: of time in cafes, and it is actually the highlight. 43 00:02:28,069 --> 00:02:31,869 Speaker 2: Luna is a good cafe. Baby mummy and baby like 44 00:02:31,949 --> 00:02:36,189 Speaker 2: too brunch. Yes, I've trained her we like our brunch. 45 00:02:36,229 --> 00:02:38,949 Speaker 2: We go along, she brings a book, I might get 46 00:02:38,949 --> 00:02:40,749 Speaker 2: some work done or whatever. I have a coffee, she 47 00:02:40,749 --> 00:02:45,029 Speaker 2: has her milk. It's absolutely the highlight of parenting Matilda. 48 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:48,829 Speaker 2: She is not a brunch she's I mean, she comes 49 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,549 Speaker 2: she is more Friday night cocktails. Yeah, no, genuinely, she 50 00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:54,629 Speaker 2: comes from Friday night cocktails. And she has her full dinner. 51 00:02:54,669 --> 00:02:56,829 Speaker 2: So we put on her smock. We feed her at 52 00:02:56,869 --> 00:02:58,909 Speaker 2: first course, he second course at their Yeah. And what's 53 00:02:58,949 --> 00:03:01,429 Speaker 2: great there is that the work has clean up the dinner. Yeah, yeah, 54 00:03:01,509 --> 00:03:05,069 Speaker 2: yeah yeah. Whereas cafes, she's a bit like I got 55 00:03:05,109 --> 00:03:08,549 Speaker 2: a wiggle, how am I going to wiggle? I will 56 00:03:08,669 --> 00:03:11,909 Speaker 2: say the idea that it's a day off and just 57 00:03:11,949 --> 00:03:15,149 Speaker 2: a bit of a holiday. You're not at work, you're 58 00:03:15,149 --> 00:03:17,629 Speaker 2: not at work. And I didn't kind of have like 59 00:03:17,669 --> 00:03:22,429 Speaker 2: proper matlet, but I really liked that period. However, I 60 00:03:22,589 --> 00:03:27,069 Speaker 2: do have this realization that I'm never gonna have a 61 00:03:27,149 --> 00:03:31,589 Speaker 2: day off ever again. Problem because it's like, I don't 62 00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,949 Speaker 2: know what we thought. Matilda was sick the other day 63 00:03:33,989 --> 00:03:36,149 Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, do I stay home with sick 64 00:03:36,229 --> 00:03:38,069 Speaker 2: baby or do I go to work? And I'm like 65 00:03:38,069 --> 00:03:38,869 Speaker 2: either way I'm working. 66 00:03:39,389 --> 00:03:39,629 Speaker 1: Yeah. 67 00:03:39,709 --> 00:03:41,549 Speaker 2: In fact, the going of the office is easier. Yeah, 68 00:03:41,549 --> 00:03:42,789 Speaker 2: it's like you're not gonna have the sick day where 69 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,349 Speaker 2: you lay in bed and you'll watch the TV show. 70 00:03:45,429 --> 00:03:47,829 Speaker 2: I've tried. I can't be done same. I try to 71 00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:49,989 Speaker 2: pat her and be like, we're just sleeping, babe, Yeah, 72 00:03:50,109 --> 00:03:53,669 Speaker 2: we're just sleeping today. Absolutely not. How about in terms 73 00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:57,949 Speaker 2: of sniffing something to cuddle. Absolutely cuddles, having something to 74 00:03:57,949 --> 00:04:00,309 Speaker 2: cuddle after a bad day. Yeah, out of ten and 75 00:04:00,349 --> 00:04:06,069 Speaker 2: she's getting quite koala vibes, like really clinging. Her smell 76 00:04:06,229 --> 00:04:09,429 Speaker 2: changes and the other day she had sardines for the 77 00:04:09,469 --> 00:04:14,029 Speaker 2: first time and choice I was like, we're gonna have 78 00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:16,469 Speaker 2: a deep claim, gonna throw this one out and get 79 00:04:16,469 --> 00:04:18,829 Speaker 2: a new one that is not the baby smell. It 80 00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:22,869 Speaker 2: smells like saurday. Yes. Our guest this week is Sammy 81 00:04:22,909 --> 00:04:26,869 Speaker 2: shark Right, comedian, podcaster and father to two girls. You'll 82 00:04:26,909 --> 00:04:30,749 Speaker 2: recognize Sammy as previously co hosting ABAC Radio Melbourne Breakfast, 83 00:04:31,069 --> 00:04:33,749 Speaker 2: as well as across lots of other ABAC projects from 84 00:04:33,749 --> 00:04:36,949 Speaker 2: Me stand Up Comedy and also his podcast News Weekly, 85 00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:40,109 Speaker 2: poking some gentle fun at the Australian news of the week. 86 00:04:40,309 --> 00:04:42,749 Speaker 2: Kind of like what we do to babies on this podcast. 87 00:04:42,989 --> 00:04:45,869 Speaker 2: Here's with us for the Baby Bubble this week. Firstly, 88 00:04:46,349 --> 00:04:49,269 Speaker 2: give us a lay of the land. You have two girls. 89 00:04:49,709 --> 00:04:51,709 Speaker 2: How old are they now and what are their vibes? 90 00:04:52,189 --> 00:04:54,949 Speaker 3: Very different vibes because the older one is fifteen years 91 00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:58,069 Speaker 3: old and the younger one is one year four months old, 92 00:04:58,069 --> 00:05:01,109 Speaker 3: that's at this point, so they're vastly different in their 93 00:05:01,189 --> 00:05:05,029 Speaker 3: experiences and what they are putting me through individually. The 94 00:05:05,069 --> 00:05:07,429 Speaker 3: wonderful thing is they adore each other. They completely love 95 00:05:07,469 --> 00:05:10,949 Speaker 3: each other totally and that's so cute, you know, especially 96 00:05:10,989 --> 00:05:14,069 Speaker 3: the younger one. The moment her elder sister walks into 97 00:05:14,109 --> 00:05:15,749 Speaker 3: the house is just the best moment of the day 98 00:05:15,789 --> 00:05:17,709 Speaker 3: and all that. And with the elder sister now we 99 00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:21,549 Speaker 3: basically have free babysitting. That kind of helps us out 100 00:05:21,629 --> 00:05:24,349 Speaker 3: a decent amount, So not as much as I prefer, 101 00:05:24,429 --> 00:05:27,829 Speaker 3: but whatever, it's work in progress, and is that they're 102 00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:30,509 Speaker 3: very different in terms of where they are in their lives. 103 00:05:30,749 --> 00:05:33,349 Speaker 3: With a fifteen year old, I'm at her school recitals 104 00:05:33,389 --> 00:05:36,869 Speaker 3: and we're discussing whatever, you know, new books she's reading. 105 00:05:37,349 --> 00:05:40,749 Speaker 3: And with the one year old, it's completely still changing. 106 00:05:40,829 --> 00:05:43,069 Speaker 3: Nappies and being yelled at because I didn't give her 107 00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,829 Speaker 3: the right vegetable at the right speed that she did. 108 00:05:45,269 --> 00:05:49,509 Speaker 2: Ye. Yeah, I like your family planning choice there. I 109 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,789 Speaker 2: think that's a good hack. 110 00:05:51,349 --> 00:05:52,909 Speaker 3: I like the fact that she was assuming that there 111 00:05:52,949 --> 00:05:56,909 Speaker 3: was a plan as opposed to just like divorces and 112 00:05:57,069 --> 00:06:00,069 Speaker 3: weird life choices and all of a sudden, you know, 113 00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:02,109 Speaker 3: you're like, well, I guess this is what's happening. 114 00:06:01,869 --> 00:06:04,109 Speaker 2: The built in babysitter. I am loving it. 115 00:06:04,229 --> 00:06:06,429 Speaker 1: I know in retrospect it is a good idea. 116 00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:11,189 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, you nailed it. You recently embarked on international travel. 117 00:06:11,349 --> 00:06:14,829 Speaker 2: I hear, what were your plans? Where were you going? 118 00:06:14,909 --> 00:06:15,509 Speaker 2: What was the trick? 119 00:06:15,949 --> 00:06:19,509 Speaker 3: So basically it was interesting because my partner, Kylie was traveling. 120 00:06:19,549 --> 00:06:21,709 Speaker 3: So she had had to go for some work to 121 00:06:21,909 --> 00:06:24,189 Speaker 3: America in the UK, and so she was there for 122 00:06:24,229 --> 00:06:26,549 Speaker 3: three weeks. So for three weeks I was solo parenting 123 00:06:27,149 --> 00:06:29,349 Speaker 3: and I had, you know, one year old and the 124 00:06:29,509 --> 00:06:32,869 Speaker 3: fifteen year old at the same time. Largely the fifteen 125 00:06:32,949 --> 00:06:34,949 Speaker 3: year old went back and forth to her mom's place 126 00:06:34,949 --> 00:06:36,669 Speaker 3: and mind and that was great, Like we had got 127 00:06:36,669 --> 00:06:39,709 Speaker 3: to ane schedule and rhythm and everything, but looming ahead 128 00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:42,989 Speaker 3: of us was a flight to London, So Melbourne to 129 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,509 Speaker 3: London with me, the one year old and the fifteen 130 00:06:45,549 --> 00:06:48,829 Speaker 3: year old to meet Kylie in London, and that thing 131 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,749 Speaker 3: that happens where everyone's like, Oh, it's. 132 00:06:50,589 --> 00:06:51,829 Speaker 1: Going to be hell. It's going to be hell. You 133 00:06:51,909 --> 00:06:53,469 Speaker 1: gonna go through hell, It's going to be hell. And 134 00:06:53,509 --> 00:06:55,309 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, yeah, probably. 135 00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:57,789 Speaker 3: Like the thing is, I've flown before when my fifteen 136 00:06:57,829 --> 00:07:02,069 Speaker 3: year old was three years old. We flew alone, and 137 00:07:02,149 --> 00:07:04,229 Speaker 3: that was not so bad. With the three year old, 138 00:07:04,269 --> 00:07:06,669 Speaker 3: it's okay. And I remember like distinct moments of like, 139 00:07:06,869 --> 00:07:08,749 Speaker 3: you know, she was sitting on the chair on the 140 00:07:08,789 --> 00:07:12,149 Speaker 3: plane and watching this and she was happy, just eating snacks. 141 00:07:12,189 --> 00:07:15,229 Speaker 3: And the only real problem was the Bai airport, where 142 00:07:15,349 --> 00:07:17,589 Speaker 3: I needed to take her to the toilet because she 143 00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:19,309 Speaker 3: want to be the toilet and I can't go into 144 00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:23,789 Speaker 3: the women's toilet obviously, and their family toilets in most 145 00:07:23,829 --> 00:07:26,789 Speaker 3: of the Middle Eastern stuff are for women only that no, 146 00:07:26,869 --> 00:07:30,469 Speaker 3: men aren't loud in. So I'm like, as is dad traveling. 147 00:07:30,549 --> 00:07:32,909 Speaker 3: The idea that men can take care of the children 148 00:07:32,989 --> 00:07:35,589 Speaker 3: is very new to large parts of the world, and 149 00:07:35,669 --> 00:07:38,749 Speaker 3: so I walked into the men's toilet and I yelled 150 00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:42,269 Speaker 3: everyone get out, and it was just like like ten 151 00:07:42,349 --> 00:07:44,669 Speaker 3: Arab men looking confused, and yelled at them, and then 152 00:07:44,669 --> 00:07:46,469 Speaker 3: they all left and then my daughter went to the 153 00:07:46,469 --> 00:07:49,949 Speaker 3: toilet while they all waited outside. So I remember that 154 00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,309 Speaker 3: being the only challenge. So with Leah at that point 155 00:07:53,309 --> 00:07:55,309 Speaker 3: she was one year and I think two months old, 156 00:07:55,589 --> 00:07:57,829 Speaker 3: Basically I was like, well, I have my fifteen year 157 00:07:57,829 --> 00:07:59,909 Speaker 3: old to help me, no problem. We look at our 158 00:07:59,909 --> 00:08:02,549 Speaker 3: seat allocations and they've put my fifteen year old on 159 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,789 Speaker 3: the seat behind me, and so she gets it. 160 00:08:04,909 --> 00:08:06,069 Speaker 1: She's like, look, I can't do anything. 161 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:09,269 Speaker 3: She puts noise canceling headphones on, she checks out, and 162 00:08:09,349 --> 00:08:13,029 Speaker 3: then it was just like from Melbourne to Kuala Lumpur, 163 00:08:13,189 --> 00:08:16,509 Speaker 3: which is I think that's eight hours. That was hell 164 00:08:17,589 --> 00:08:20,589 Speaker 3: because she didn't sleep. She just stayed in the bassinet. 165 00:08:20,669 --> 00:08:22,029 Speaker 3: This stupid bassinet that they give you. 166 00:08:22,109 --> 00:08:23,949 Speaker 2: It doesn't fit them, It doesn't fit them. 167 00:08:23,869 --> 00:08:26,189 Speaker 3: It doesn't fit it doesn't fit any child. It's made 168 00:08:26,189 --> 00:08:28,269 Speaker 3: too small for every child in the history of like, 169 00:08:28,389 --> 00:08:32,109 Speaker 3: unless you have a premium, can I curse on this 170 00:08:33,149 --> 00:08:36,229 Speaker 3: pel that fucking bacinet bullshit? And then they put it there. 171 00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:38,509 Speaker 3: And so what we did was it was handy for 172 00:08:38,549 --> 00:08:40,189 Speaker 3: one thing. I realized it's just for a handy for 173 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:43,789 Speaker 3: putting junk in there. All her toys, all the everything 174 00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:46,229 Speaker 3: else that they snacks and everything just went in there. 175 00:08:46,629 --> 00:08:48,469 Speaker 1: She was running around at my feet. 176 00:08:48,949 --> 00:08:51,029 Speaker 3: But then they also put And here's the thing, like, 177 00:08:51,789 --> 00:08:54,389 Speaker 3: I have no sympathy for people who complain about children 178 00:08:54,429 --> 00:08:56,869 Speaker 3: on planes, because you know, like we sometimes you have 179 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,949 Speaker 3: people are like, oh my god, the baby's crying. Well 180 00:08:59,029 --> 00:09:01,069 Speaker 3: by a fucking private jet. If you can't do that, 181 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:03,229 Speaker 3: shut up. I don't give a shit. You're not running 182 00:09:03,229 --> 00:09:05,469 Speaker 3: a private business from the plane. No one cares if 183 00:09:05,509 --> 00:09:07,669 Speaker 3: you had a miserable fly. But if you're going to 184 00:09:07,789 --> 00:09:12,429 Speaker 3: get those bulkhead seats where they put bassinets, don't get them. 185 00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:13,989 Speaker 1: If you don't have kids, Oh my god. 186 00:09:15,469 --> 00:09:17,949 Speaker 2: And then sit there and be like, yeah. 187 00:09:17,829 --> 00:09:20,909 Speaker 3: Don't judge me because you're twenty one years old, so 188 00:09:20,949 --> 00:09:23,989 Speaker 3: your brain is so mushy, and you think you deserve 189 00:09:24,029 --> 00:09:26,149 Speaker 3: a better life for twenty one you deserve to be 190 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,389 Speaker 3: strapped the outside of the plane in the best of circumstances. 191 00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:30,269 Speaker 1: Anyway, And this sitting. 192 00:09:30,029 --> 00:09:32,789 Speaker 3: There homeping and halfing every time my daughter moved, I 193 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:35,029 Speaker 3: way to elbow the guy in the throat. At one point, yack, 194 00:09:35,869 --> 00:09:39,829 Speaker 3: she picked up my phone and just tossed it my daughter, Yeah, 195 00:09:39,989 --> 00:09:43,429 Speaker 3: and it went and hit him in the shins. And 196 00:09:43,589 --> 00:09:45,509 Speaker 3: I didn't feel that bad, but I had to pretend 197 00:09:45,549 --> 00:09:46,869 Speaker 3: like I felt bad. So I was like, oh, I'm 198 00:09:46,909 --> 00:09:48,509 Speaker 3: so sorry, and he's like, oh my god, my shin 199 00:09:48,549 --> 00:09:50,469 Speaker 3: had hurt so bad. And a part of me is like, also, 200 00:09:50,509 --> 00:09:51,309 Speaker 3: like tough enough, mate. 201 00:09:51,709 --> 00:09:52,269 Speaker 1: It calmed down. 202 00:09:52,389 --> 00:09:54,429 Speaker 3: It's a one year old through the phone, how hard 203 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,669 Speaker 3: can it be? And then she picked up the phone 204 00:09:56,709 --> 00:10:00,509 Speaker 3: and threw it between my legs and it hit me 205 00:10:00,669 --> 00:10:03,269 Speaker 3: in the balls and I doubled over. I was like, 206 00:10:03,309 --> 00:10:06,269 Speaker 3: this is agony, Like these phones are rock hard. 207 00:10:06,949 --> 00:10:08,309 Speaker 1: And it really hurt bad. 208 00:10:08,389 --> 00:10:10,989 Speaker 3: So yeah, So that time was the only time that 209 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,629 Speaker 3: and the one time I put her in the bassinet, 210 00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:14,989 Speaker 3: I pop her into the basket because I'm like, I 211 00:10:15,029 --> 00:10:17,669 Speaker 3: just need a break, I need one second, and she 212 00:10:17,869 --> 00:10:19,229 Speaker 3: just goes, okay, I don't want to be in here, 213 00:10:19,229 --> 00:10:21,389 Speaker 3: so she just jumps head first out of the basket 214 00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:25,029 Speaker 3: and I grab her inches from the ground and yeah, 215 00:10:25,069 --> 00:10:28,309 Speaker 3: so that was hard. I remember she didn't sleep the 216 00:10:28,429 --> 00:10:30,669 Speaker 3: day leading up to the flight, and the flight she 217 00:10:30,669 --> 00:10:33,309 Speaker 3: didn't sleep at all. So at this point she's been 218 00:10:33,389 --> 00:10:35,389 Speaker 3: up for twenty four hours. I don't know why. I 219 00:10:35,389 --> 00:10:38,429 Speaker 3: don't know how she's doing it. We land in Quantum 220 00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,869 Speaker 3: Poor Airport, and the smartest thing I've ever done, probably 221 00:10:41,669 --> 00:10:45,229 Speaker 3: the most intelligent decision I've made my entire life, was 222 00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:46,349 Speaker 3: you break journey. 223 00:10:46,829 --> 00:10:49,829 Speaker 1: You just break journey. So we stopped in qual Dumpoor 224 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:50,509 Speaker 1: for a day. 225 00:10:50,749 --> 00:10:53,629 Speaker 2: Okay, because that's a risk, you're playing with fire. 226 00:10:53,829 --> 00:10:57,069 Speaker 3: Yeah, but but it was amazing. We checked into a 227 00:10:57,149 --> 00:10:59,509 Speaker 3: nice because hotels there are cheap. We checked into a 228 00:10:59,589 --> 00:11:02,469 Speaker 3: nice hotel and we get to the hotel and I'm like, 229 00:11:02,549 --> 00:11:04,509 Speaker 3: she'll sleep now. It's like, I think midnight at this 230 00:11:04,549 --> 00:11:07,349 Speaker 3: point in kl I'm like, she's going to find the sleep. 231 00:11:07,389 --> 00:11:08,989 Speaker 3: Of course she's going to sleep. And in my head, 232 00:11:08,989 --> 00:11:10,829 Speaker 3: I'm like, you know what, I'll let sleep as long 233 00:11:10,869 --> 00:11:13,069 Speaker 3: as she wants. If she sleeps at ten in the morning, 234 00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:14,549 Speaker 3: let her sleep in it's fine. 235 00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:20,029 Speaker 1: Two am. I hear hello and I was like, are 236 00:11:20,029 --> 00:11:22,829 Speaker 1: you kidding me? How are you awake? And then she 237 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:23,269 Speaker 1: was up. 238 00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:26,269 Speaker 3: So in Quo Lampur we then spent the next like 239 00:11:26,309 --> 00:11:29,229 Speaker 3: twenty four hours wide awake, but she was happy. We 240 00:11:29,269 --> 00:11:32,749 Speaker 3: went to KLC see the towers and we did sightseeing 241 00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:35,029 Speaker 3: and ate food and she was happy and thrilled. 242 00:11:35,589 --> 00:11:37,629 Speaker 1: And then you get on the flight to London. 243 00:11:37,349 --> 00:11:40,109 Speaker 3: Which is I think it's thirteen off, like yeah, and 244 00:11:40,229 --> 00:11:43,469 Speaker 3: she passed out on my shoulder as the plane was 245 00:11:43,509 --> 00:11:46,869 Speaker 3: taking off, but then wouldn't move and wouldn't let me 246 00:11:46,949 --> 00:11:48,989 Speaker 3: move because if I moved, she'd wake up. So I 247 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,389 Speaker 3: just got trapped, you know, in that situation where like 248 00:11:51,749 --> 00:11:55,149 Speaker 3: one leg is numb, you're completely gone. The other leg 249 00:11:55,189 --> 00:11:57,509 Speaker 3: is actually an agony because somehow you're pinching it in 250 00:11:57,549 --> 00:11:59,829 Speaker 3: the wrong way and you're just stuck, like I guess 251 00:11:59,869 --> 00:12:03,829 Speaker 3: I'll pee myself. And so that was like the flight 252 00:12:03,909 --> 00:12:06,949 Speaker 3: to London. But the thing is like when I did 253 00:12:06,949 --> 00:12:09,989 Speaker 3: it and everything goes wrong, Like everything goes wrong. We 254 00:12:09,989 --> 00:12:12,349 Speaker 3: were to call PO. We reach Kal, I stand outside 255 00:12:12,389 --> 00:12:14,309 Speaker 3: for my pram, which you know you check in your 256 00:12:14,389 --> 00:12:15,949 Speaker 3: pram and I was like, oh, can I have it 257 00:12:15,989 --> 00:12:17,709 Speaker 3: back now? And they're like, oh no, we send it 258 00:12:17,709 --> 00:12:21,589 Speaker 3: to oversized luggage area which is in a different hangar. 259 00:12:21,709 --> 00:12:23,949 Speaker 1: We have to get a bus to go. Why why 260 00:12:23,949 --> 00:12:25,149 Speaker 1: did you do this to me? Why? 261 00:12:27,229 --> 00:12:29,629 Speaker 2: I kept waiting for the baggage carousel and I was 262 00:12:29,669 --> 00:12:32,669 Speaker 2: like everything's out here, and then I'm like, oh, oversized, 263 00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:34,829 Speaker 2: Like it's not that oversized. 264 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:39,349 Speaker 3: It was okay, And you know what, the person with 265 00:12:39,429 --> 00:12:40,229 Speaker 3: it has a child. 266 00:12:40,309 --> 00:12:41,469 Speaker 1: Why would you do that to them? 267 00:12:41,629 --> 00:12:43,589 Speaker 3: And then like even like when we got to the hotel, 268 00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:46,229 Speaker 3: I'm standing in line to check into the hotel and 269 00:12:46,269 --> 00:12:49,749 Speaker 3: there's a woman in front of me who's just the 270 00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:52,269 Speaker 3: slowest check in process ever. Like you know, it's always 271 00:12:52,309 --> 00:12:54,069 Speaker 3: the one person who's the slowest to be in front 272 00:12:54,069 --> 00:12:57,309 Speaker 3: of you when you are rush. She just took ages 273 00:12:57,309 --> 00:13:00,389 Speaker 3: and until finally at one point, like the woman behind 274 00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:03,069 Speaker 3: her could see me losing my mind just through my eyes, 275 00:13:03,629 --> 00:13:05,229 Speaker 3: and she called someone to help me. 276 00:13:05,309 --> 00:13:06,269 Speaker 1: Like little things like that. 277 00:13:06,429 --> 00:13:09,869 Speaker 3: But I will say after having done it, then flying 278 00:13:09,949 --> 00:13:13,989 Speaker 3: back with my partner and all of us together was 279 00:13:14,029 --> 00:13:14,749 Speaker 3: a breeze. 280 00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,669 Speaker 1: Really. Once you do it. 281 00:13:16,589 --> 00:13:20,669 Speaker 3: Alone, you're like whatever, there there's two of us, we 282 00:13:20,709 --> 00:13:23,469 Speaker 3: can take shifts. Now it's a piece of cake, Like 283 00:13:23,509 --> 00:13:26,269 Speaker 3: there's no problem here at all. And now I also 284 00:13:26,309 --> 00:13:27,909 Speaker 3: feel like, you know, my partner's like, oh, I've got 285 00:13:27,949 --> 00:13:29,669 Speaker 3: some work there. I'm gonna go for it. I'll travel 286 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,749 Speaker 3: with Leah alone because I've done it. Now, Yeah, how 287 00:13:31,749 --> 00:13:32,869 Speaker 3: hard can it be Yep. 288 00:13:32,829 --> 00:13:34,309 Speaker 2: That's as hard as it's ever going to get. I 289 00:13:34,589 --> 00:13:37,469 Speaker 2: I did the Europe thing about the same age, and 290 00:13:37,509 --> 00:13:39,909 Speaker 2: I said, this competes with labor for the hardest thing 291 00:13:39,909 --> 00:13:40,869 Speaker 2: I've ever done. 292 00:13:41,109 --> 00:13:44,149 Speaker 3: I'm going to quote you to my partner because I 293 00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:47,269 Speaker 3: don't dare say that without sources to back me up. 294 00:13:47,829 --> 00:13:48,389 Speaker 3: You should. 295 00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:57,429 Speaker 2: I want to ask you about packing, because you had 296 00:13:57,429 --> 00:13:59,549 Speaker 2: to do all the packing on your own, and packing 297 00:13:59,789 --> 00:14:01,549 Speaker 2: for her would have just been a lot. 298 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:02,669 Speaker 1: But there was this. 299 00:14:02,589 --> 00:14:06,629 Speaker 3: Moment because my partner three weeks before, packed the suitcase 300 00:14:06,669 --> 00:14:09,149 Speaker 3: for Leah, which I was very insulted by because that 301 00:14:09,269 --> 00:14:11,869 Speaker 3: was like, like, are you saying that I can't do 302 00:14:11,949 --> 00:14:13,989 Speaker 3: the packing like I can do it? And she's like, no, 303 00:14:14,069 --> 00:14:15,469 Speaker 3: what if you mess it up? I'm like, look, I 304 00:14:15,469 --> 00:14:18,189 Speaker 3: did raise the older one, or you know, I have 305 00:14:18,389 --> 00:14:21,149 Speaker 3: done this before. I was very offended that she thought 306 00:14:21,229 --> 00:14:23,789 Speaker 3: I couldn't pack on my own. But yeah, so a 307 00:14:23,869 --> 00:14:25,709 Speaker 3: large bart of the packing was already done for me. 308 00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:28,269 Speaker 3: That decision and power was taken away from me. But 309 00:14:28,309 --> 00:14:31,629 Speaker 3: it's fine, it's fine. I didn't forget anything. I just 310 00:14:31,629 --> 00:14:33,589 Speaker 3: want to point that out. Everyone thought I'd forget you. 311 00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:36,909 Speaker 3: I didn't forget anything. The child is alive, she was fed, 312 00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:39,829 Speaker 3: you know. I just didn't want people to come over 313 00:14:39,909 --> 00:14:42,269 Speaker 3: and say, oh, she looks like she's lost weight, because 314 00:14:42,269 --> 00:14:44,189 Speaker 3: then they're like, oh, you're not feeding the child properly. 315 00:14:44,989 --> 00:14:49,949 Speaker 3: I stuffed her just seven meals a day, just anything 316 00:14:49,949 --> 00:14:52,149 Speaker 3: that get her fat. And so that when Kylie saw 317 00:14:52,149 --> 00:14:53,749 Speaker 3: her off three weeks, He's like, just put on so 318 00:14:53,829 --> 00:14:56,669 Speaker 3: much weight. I'm like, like, that was my thing, but 319 00:14:56,709 --> 00:14:59,069 Speaker 3: I didn't. I didn't get to do the packing. I'm 320 00:14:59,109 --> 00:15:01,029 Speaker 3: still a bit offended and hurt by that. 321 00:15:01,069 --> 00:15:05,069 Speaker 2: What was the most surprising thing, Like, once you're actually 322 00:15:05,229 --> 00:15:09,309 Speaker 2: in London and you're traveling with a baby, what was 323 00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:11,109 Speaker 2: the most surprised to you. 324 00:15:11,469 --> 00:15:13,469 Speaker 3: I come from Pakistan, which is the third world country, 325 00:15:13,509 --> 00:15:15,829 Speaker 3: and I thought Australia is the first world country. London's 326 00:15:15,829 --> 00:15:19,749 Speaker 3: the first world country. Oh, London's one point five. They're 327 00:15:19,789 --> 00:15:23,629 Speaker 3: not where we are way ahead. You realize when you 328 00:15:23,749 --> 00:15:25,909 Speaker 3: visit Europe, you're like, oh, this first world and then 329 00:15:25,909 --> 00:15:28,229 Speaker 3: this first world like you know, like you can go 330 00:15:28,349 --> 00:15:31,709 Speaker 3: anywhere in Australia and there's the ramps for the prams 331 00:15:31,749 --> 00:15:35,749 Speaker 3: and the elevators to replace any stairs, and we take 332 00:15:35,789 --> 00:15:39,869 Speaker 3: these considerations into account. Over there the subway system, and 333 00:15:39,949 --> 00:15:42,349 Speaker 3: I know it was built in pre World War One, 334 00:15:42,429 --> 00:15:43,949 Speaker 3: and whatever, what the hell did you take all the 335 00:15:43,949 --> 00:15:47,469 Speaker 3: money from India for upgrade your goddamn subways. 336 00:15:47,589 --> 00:15:48,749 Speaker 1: There's no place to go. 337 00:15:48,909 --> 00:15:52,189 Speaker 3: You're carrying this goddamn pram up and downstairs, yes, and 338 00:15:52,229 --> 00:15:54,309 Speaker 3: there's no one to help you, because London is under 339 00:15:54,349 --> 00:15:57,469 Speaker 3: notoriously rude. And so thank god my fifteen year old 340 00:15:57,549 --> 00:16:00,069 Speaker 3: was with me, because she would then take Leah out 341 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,749 Speaker 3: and carry her up and down the stairs, and I'd 342 00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:05,669 Speaker 3: be plugging this giant pram the whole time. And it's 343 00:16:05,669 --> 00:16:07,509 Speaker 3: not just me, it's other moms and dads doing the 344 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,549 Speaker 3: same thing. And then they're like, you know, oh, this 345 00:16:09,749 --> 00:16:12,669 Speaker 3: is waystation has an elevator, but then to get the 346 00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:15,749 Speaker 3: elevator is such a long journey, and you're like, what 347 00:16:15,789 --> 00:16:18,349 Speaker 3: did disabled people do? What do people in wheelchairs do? 348 00:16:19,109 --> 00:16:21,669 Speaker 3: Like it was shocking to me. And then you know, 349 00:16:21,709 --> 00:16:24,189 Speaker 3: for example, at one point she ate a snack, She 350 00:16:24,429 --> 00:16:25,949 Speaker 3: ate half of the banana and gave me the rest. 351 00:16:25,949 --> 00:16:27,349 Speaker 3: And I have to look for a bin. There's no 352 00:16:27,429 --> 00:16:31,029 Speaker 3: bins all of London. There are no fucking bins in 353 00:16:31,069 --> 00:16:33,269 Speaker 3: the whole of I don't know what they just throw 354 00:16:33,349 --> 00:16:35,749 Speaker 3: shit like in the nineteen eighties, like throwing things on 355 00:16:35,789 --> 00:16:37,789 Speaker 3: the floor and walking off, And that's what happened. 356 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:38,149 Speaker 1: In the end. 357 00:16:38,149 --> 00:16:41,109 Speaker 3: There was a mountain of rubbish under one like post 358 00:16:41,149 --> 00:16:44,869 Speaker 3: and I just ginger like carefully placed my banana peel 359 00:16:44,949 --> 00:16:46,789 Speaker 3: over there, being like, what am I going to get 360 00:16:46,909 --> 00:16:47,509 Speaker 3: shot for this? 361 00:16:47,629 --> 00:16:49,509 Speaker 1: What? No one cares? 362 00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:53,189 Speaker 3: I was really amazed at, like how hard it is 363 00:16:53,589 --> 00:16:57,549 Speaker 3: to have a child there compared to Australia. 364 00:16:58,349 --> 00:17:01,149 Speaker 2: I have heard that from a lot of friends who 365 00:17:01,189 --> 00:17:04,749 Speaker 2: came back and said London is hostile to children, was 366 00:17:04,789 --> 00:17:07,909 Speaker 2: how they described it, especially their public transport. That was 367 00:17:07,949 --> 00:17:08,949 Speaker 2: the big one that I heard. 368 00:17:09,389 --> 00:17:11,269 Speaker 3: That was a huge one for me. I've got look, 369 00:17:11,429 --> 00:17:13,269 Speaker 3: it's not as bad as parts of Europe. I know, 370 00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:15,869 Speaker 3: Like I have friends in Spain who told me that 371 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,709 Speaker 3: people just blow cigaret smoke onto your baby's face there, 372 00:17:19,109 --> 00:17:21,629 Speaker 3: like it's just no one cares there, Like everyone's just 373 00:17:21,629 --> 00:17:24,709 Speaker 3: smoking all the time. And even London, I was surprised 374 00:17:24,789 --> 00:17:27,629 Speaker 3: by how many people still smoke, Like, you know, the 375 00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:30,629 Speaker 3: NHS is falling apart. Maybe take better care of your lungs. 376 00:17:30,669 --> 00:17:33,349 Speaker 3: But I don't understand their choices, but yeah, I was 377 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,149 Speaker 3: quite shocked like, it's one of those things where I 378 00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:39,549 Speaker 3: live in Melbourne, which is notoriously a hipster city, but 379 00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:43,789 Speaker 3: I haven't smelled cigarette smoke in my face in years, 380 00:17:44,549 --> 00:17:46,269 Speaker 3: and to have that and then be like, but my 381 00:17:46,389 --> 00:17:48,869 Speaker 3: baby's right here as well, like what are you doing? 382 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,629 Speaker 3: I was quite taken aback. 383 00:17:50,789 --> 00:17:54,309 Speaker 2: Yeah, your souvenirs a bit of the mphasema yeah yeah. 384 00:17:54,309 --> 00:17:57,029 Speaker 3: Yeah absolutely, Yeah. And your muscles are built up anyway 385 00:17:57,069 --> 00:17:59,149 Speaker 3: from carrying the prim everywhere adio. 386 00:17:59,389 --> 00:18:03,989 Speaker 2: Yes, you're built from carrying like nine kilos and solid 387 00:18:04,029 --> 00:18:05,349 Speaker 2: baby constantly. 388 00:18:05,909 --> 00:18:06,429 Speaker 1: Yeah. 389 00:18:06,549 --> 00:18:09,069 Speaker 2: That you've also bulked that baby, so she's probably wearing 390 00:18:09,069 --> 00:18:09,909 Speaker 2: about twenty five. 391 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,509 Speaker 3: Care Yeah that was on me, to be fair, that 392 00:18:11,589 --> 00:18:14,389 Speaker 3: was metaliti by fault. Yeah, I scar bloading her before 393 00:18:14,389 --> 00:18:14,989 Speaker 3: we left here. 394 00:18:15,509 --> 00:18:19,029 Speaker 2: Can you give us a ten second play by play 395 00:18:19,269 --> 00:18:22,589 Speaker 2: the chaos of your morning before you got here. 396 00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:24,949 Speaker 3: So the fifteen year olds are now self sufficient, so 397 00:18:24,989 --> 00:18:27,469 Speaker 3: that's largely good. I still like check things as your 398 00:18:27,549 --> 00:18:29,629 Speaker 3: room clean and stuff like that, and like have you 399 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,829 Speaker 3: ad breakfast, but largely she can keep herself alive, So 400 00:18:32,869 --> 00:18:36,149 Speaker 3: that's you know, yeah exactly. That's my main concern. As 401 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,749 Speaker 3: long as Social services doesn't have any questions, I'm fine. 402 00:18:38,989 --> 00:18:41,349 Speaker 3: So we take turns every morning on who gets up 403 00:18:41,389 --> 00:18:44,869 Speaker 3: with Leah because she wakes up usually between six thirty 404 00:18:44,869 --> 00:18:46,069 Speaker 3: and seven am. 405 00:18:46,309 --> 00:18:47,589 Speaker 1: I don't know. She has stuff to do. 406 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:50,509 Speaker 3: I guess because she's, you know, working with the New 407 00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:52,749 Speaker 3: York Times Zone and she's got meetings over there. I 408 00:18:52,789 --> 00:18:55,789 Speaker 3: don't understand. This morning was my turn, like six twenty 409 00:18:55,789 --> 00:18:58,949 Speaker 3: five she woke up. You just hear like, hi you 410 00:18:59,269 --> 00:19:04,429 Speaker 3: God damn it life. Yeah, and then you to think of, like, 411 00:19:04,629 --> 00:19:07,989 Speaker 3: how can I convince my partner just do that double ship? 412 00:19:08,229 --> 00:19:09,509 Speaker 1: Like take today? Is what? 413 00:19:09,629 --> 00:19:12,229 Speaker 3: Like what I can I come up with? Oh my, 414 00:19:12,389 --> 00:19:13,629 Speaker 3: I had a horrible. 415 00:19:13,349 --> 00:19:16,269 Speaker 1: Night of dreams like count to shit Like it's fine. 416 00:19:16,509 --> 00:19:18,989 Speaker 3: So then you take her out for some reason, even 417 00:19:18,989 --> 00:19:21,629 Speaker 3: though we've changed her nappy on the same changing table 418 00:19:21,909 --> 00:19:24,589 Speaker 3: since the day she was born. Treats it like it 419 00:19:24,669 --> 00:19:27,509 Speaker 3: is a trauma experience that she's now undergoing for the 420 00:19:27,549 --> 00:19:30,309 Speaker 3: first time ever, and it's shocked and appalled that you're 421 00:19:30,349 --> 00:19:33,629 Speaker 3: subjecting her to this. So six point thirty in the morning, 422 00:19:33,669 --> 00:19:37,149 Speaker 3: she's screaming, and she's discovered recently that not only can 423 00:19:37,189 --> 00:19:38,469 Speaker 3: she scream, but she can shriek. 424 00:19:39,229 --> 00:19:42,109 Speaker 1: It's a new level of screaming. And is wonderful. 425 00:19:42,629 --> 00:19:46,669 Speaker 3: It's so invigorating to hear just a bloody murder being. 426 00:19:46,549 --> 00:19:48,949 Speaker 2: Conducted right way to stop the day. 427 00:19:49,149 --> 00:19:51,629 Speaker 3: So that and then I'm just like, yeah, okay, whatever, 428 00:19:51,749 --> 00:19:55,429 Speaker 3: because I'm said asleep, and so I'm like changing her 429 00:19:55,469 --> 00:19:56,349 Speaker 3: nappy and all of that. 430 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,029 Speaker 1: Then after that it's breakfast. 431 00:19:58,029 --> 00:20:00,269 Speaker 3: So first thing is that pop her into her high chair, 432 00:20:00,829 --> 00:20:03,069 Speaker 3: lock her in place so I can move around freely. 433 00:20:03,589 --> 00:20:06,509 Speaker 3: I chug your coffee, and then it's you know whatever breakfast. 434 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:09,149 Speaker 3: She's going to reject the first three, so today she 435 00:20:09,229 --> 00:20:12,829 Speaker 3: rejected the wet to bake, you rejected the cream cheese 436 00:20:12,829 --> 00:20:17,549 Speaker 3: on toes. Then she had cherry tomatoes, why not? Then 437 00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:20,709 Speaker 3: she said yes to the Weta bix after that, and 438 00:20:20,749 --> 00:20:23,189 Speaker 3: then yes to the cream cheese sandwich, and then she 439 00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:26,149 Speaker 3: had blueberries. So yeah, it was a good, you know, 440 00:20:26,269 --> 00:20:28,349 Speaker 3: well proportioned breakfast. 441 00:20:27,829 --> 00:20:28,349 Speaker 1: I suppose. 442 00:20:28,869 --> 00:20:32,069 Speaker 3: And by that point it's like seven I guess seven thirty, 443 00:20:32,149 --> 00:20:33,909 Speaker 3: so my fifteen year old is now down as well, 444 00:20:33,949 --> 00:20:36,509 Speaker 3: so they're talking to each other, which lets me had 445 00:20:36,509 --> 00:20:40,549 Speaker 3: another coffee, and then I discreetly go into the bathroom 446 00:20:40,669 --> 00:20:43,269 Speaker 3: in back in our bedroom and my partner's sleeping, by 447 00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:44,709 Speaker 3: which I mean I do it in a way that 448 00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:47,069 Speaker 3: will guarantee to wake it up so that you can get. 449 00:20:46,989 --> 00:20:49,149 Speaker 1: Up, get up, and you woke up. I'm so sorry. 450 00:20:49,189 --> 00:20:50,949 Speaker 1: I didn't mean for you to wake up anyway. Can 451 00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:51,469 Speaker 1: you take her now? 452 00:20:51,509 --> 00:20:53,189 Speaker 3: So I need to go to the bathroom, and so 453 00:20:53,269 --> 00:20:55,349 Speaker 3: then she is forced to take over while I go 454 00:20:55,389 --> 00:20:56,429 Speaker 3: in for a shower and stuff. 455 00:20:56,749 --> 00:21:00,269 Speaker 1: And then yeah, so that's basically every I love it. 456 00:21:00,429 --> 00:21:03,229 Speaker 2: I love it. That's my husband has started just opening 457 00:21:03,269 --> 00:21:04,629 Speaker 2: the blands and I'm like. 458 00:21:04,749 --> 00:21:07,029 Speaker 1: Oh, really, that's a bold move. 459 00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:08,789 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay those clothes. 460 00:21:08,829 --> 00:21:11,149 Speaker 1: Actually, no, I don't. 461 00:21:11,189 --> 00:21:12,629 Speaker 3: I don't have the courage to do that because that 462 00:21:12,669 --> 00:21:15,869 Speaker 3: is openly declaring war. I think, yeah, that is yeah, 463 00:21:15,869 --> 00:21:17,669 Speaker 3: there's no such I did that once, like a few 464 00:21:17,749 --> 00:21:20,389 Speaker 3: days ago. I switched on the light because I was like, well, 465 00:21:20,469 --> 00:21:22,629 Speaker 3: I need to get something, get that kind of a thing, 466 00:21:23,629 --> 00:21:26,629 Speaker 3: like not even passive aggressive, just aggressive aggressive. And then 467 00:21:26,629 --> 00:21:28,349 Speaker 3: after I was like, wow, that was a dick on 468 00:21:28,469 --> 00:21:31,349 Speaker 3: my part, Like that was just purely I was at 469 00:21:31,389 --> 00:21:31,669 Speaker 3: the end. 470 00:21:31,629 --> 00:21:31,869 Speaker 1: Of my t. 471 00:21:34,309 --> 00:21:37,389 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for your time today. It is 472 00:21:38,269 --> 00:21:40,469 Speaker 2: such a lovely chat. Thank you so much. 473 00:21:47,149 --> 00:21:50,229 Speaker 1: Crap crap, crap advice. 474 00:21:54,429 --> 00:21:58,069 Speaker 2: It's time for our dilemma. Clear this is perhaps the 475 00:21:58,069 --> 00:22:03,309 Speaker 2: thorniest of all dilemmas. Hi, ladies, I have a really 476 00:22:03,349 --> 00:22:06,669 Speaker 2: awkward predicament for you today, and I'm totally stuck. My 477 00:22:06,789 --> 00:22:09,389 Speaker 2: best friend fell pregnant a few months after me, and 478 00:22:09,389 --> 00:22:12,509 Speaker 2: we were so excit. We've been close since kindergarten and 479 00:22:12,549 --> 00:22:16,029 Speaker 2: we couldn't believe we were having two girls. We planned 480 00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:19,309 Speaker 2: their friendship and how our maternity leave would align. But 481 00:22:19,349 --> 00:22:23,389 Speaker 2: there's just one problem. Just tell me that those two 482 00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:27,509 Speaker 2: women didn't just plan to be at a cafe hard relate. 483 00:22:28,069 --> 00:22:31,189 Speaker 2: This is her problem with Claire. I don't like her baby. 484 00:22:31,789 --> 00:22:33,669 Speaker 2: I don't know how to explain it. I just get 485 00:22:33,709 --> 00:22:36,389 Speaker 2: a weird vibe. I'm not a super clucky person. I 486 00:22:36,469 --> 00:22:40,509 Speaker 2: adore my baby, but otherwise I'm not fussed. This baby 487 00:22:40,589 --> 00:22:43,749 Speaker 2: is quite slobbery and always sticky. I like the details, 488 00:22:44,389 --> 00:22:46,949 Speaker 2: to be honest, and she just gives me the equal 489 00:22:48,029 --> 00:22:51,389 Speaker 2: so brutal. Sometimes she thrusts her baby onto me and 490 00:22:51,429 --> 00:22:54,149 Speaker 2: I don't want to hold her. I spend enough time 491 00:22:54,309 --> 00:22:55,349 Speaker 2: holding a baby. 492 00:22:55,789 --> 00:22:56,629 Speaker 1: What should I do? 493 00:23:01,429 --> 00:23:06,629 Speaker 2: Okay, well, I've got a few ideas. Firstly, Jesse, is 494 00:23:06,629 --> 00:23:10,509 Speaker 2: this a passive aggressive way of telling me that Matilda's sticky. 495 00:23:11,349 --> 00:23:14,869 Speaker 2: Matilda is sticky, and in fact she's actually quite slobbery 496 00:23:14,869 --> 00:23:17,349 Speaker 2: with teething. But I love Matilda like my own. And 497 00:23:17,389 --> 00:23:19,189 Speaker 2: I did not write this. This was written in by 498 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:22,109 Speaker 2: a listener who wanted some bad advice. All right, well, 499 00:23:22,749 --> 00:23:30,189 Speaker 2: I have one word and one word only, ex communicadough, oh, excommunicate. 500 00:23:30,949 --> 00:23:34,269 Speaker 2: It's done. It's done. The friend and her baby are 501 00:23:34,309 --> 00:23:37,149 Speaker 2: just the baby, friend and baby. Oh wow, that's one. 502 00:23:37,229 --> 00:23:40,629 Speaker 2: That's one approach. Okay, well, okay, on that on, hold on, 503 00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:44,349 Speaker 2: hold on, hold on. I also have I don't know, 504 00:23:45,069 --> 00:23:49,549 Speaker 2: can you make it cute? Because if it's sticky, can 505 00:23:49,589 --> 00:23:52,389 Speaker 2: you wipe it down and wipe it down? If it's slobbery, 506 00:23:52,429 --> 00:23:55,909 Speaker 2: can you ask it to not be Maybe buy a 507 00:23:55,949 --> 00:23:59,109 Speaker 2: headband or some silly shoes. Shoes help with cuteness levels, 508 00:23:59,309 --> 00:24:01,869 Speaker 2: that's true, like a few bow's or something. And just 509 00:24:02,029 --> 00:24:04,669 Speaker 2: if you give it a little bib for its slobberiness, 510 00:24:04,829 --> 00:24:07,629 Speaker 2: the slobberiness might be a moment in time. Yeah. And 511 00:24:07,909 --> 00:24:09,709 Speaker 2: I guess my other thing would be, if you don't 512 00:24:09,709 --> 00:24:12,389 Speaker 2: want to go full ex communicado, you're gonna have to 513 00:24:12,429 --> 00:24:15,509 Speaker 2: talk to your baby and work out how to bully it. 514 00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:20,229 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so you say, honey, look at it, look 515 00:24:20,269 --> 00:24:24,109 Speaker 2: at it. That's what we bully, like Luna does to Matilda. 516 00:24:24,429 --> 00:24:27,389 Speaker 2: Yeah she does. Luna does bully Matilda. It's not my fault. 517 00:24:27,389 --> 00:24:30,549 Speaker 2: But there's also nothing I can do. I would say, 518 00:24:31,589 --> 00:24:34,389 Speaker 2: resort to year eight. That's my mantra. And by that 519 00:24:34,469 --> 00:24:38,589 Speaker 2: I mean, let's say the baby's name is Gretel. You 520 00:24:38,629 --> 00:24:42,189 Speaker 2: say to your friend, ugh, is Gretel coming? Oh wow? 521 00:24:42,229 --> 00:24:44,349 Speaker 2: And she's like, that's my baby, and then you say, 522 00:24:44,509 --> 00:24:48,189 Speaker 2: do you even like Gretel? Things like that happened to 523 00:24:48,269 --> 00:24:50,869 Speaker 2: us in year eight? And then remember we're at a 524 00:24:50,909 --> 00:24:54,069 Speaker 2: sleepover in year eight and we're this friend that she 525 00:24:54,149 --> 00:24:56,109 Speaker 2: was just a bit and she would always start a 526 00:24:56,109 --> 00:24:58,229 Speaker 2: game that was like everyone go around and say something 527 00:24:58,269 --> 00:25:00,229 Speaker 2: positive and negative, like we'll start with Claire a good 528 00:25:00,229 --> 00:25:01,669 Speaker 2: thing about a good thing and a bad thing, and 529 00:25:01,669 --> 00:25:04,789 Speaker 2: everyone'd be like, oh, bad thing, You're annoying good thing, 530 00:25:06,549 --> 00:25:08,709 Speaker 2: And then everyone would get stuck, and then they'd go 531 00:25:08,789 --> 00:25:11,349 Speaker 2: over to Lauren over here and they'd go, good thing, 532 00:25:11,349 --> 00:25:14,349 Speaker 2: you're really pretty bad thing. I can't think of anything. Yeah, 533 00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:17,669 Speaker 2: And I'd be like, I'm gonna go flush my head. Yes, 534 00:25:18,189 --> 00:25:20,469 Speaker 2: I think we play that game with Gretel. Yeah, so 535 00:25:20,829 --> 00:25:24,269 Speaker 2: it gets to Gretel and you're like, don't like your face? Easy, 536 00:25:24,589 --> 00:25:27,549 Speaker 2: and then positive ponder until you move on. 537 00:25:29,429 --> 00:25:29,669 Speaker 1: Yeah. 538 00:25:29,789 --> 00:25:32,629 Speaker 2: Nothing, here's another idiot. Start a WhatsApp group with that 539 00:25:32,709 --> 00:25:37,829 Speaker 2: Gretel and call it no Gretel. And lastly, and include 540 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:41,189 Speaker 2: your baby in it. Oh yeah, absolutely, or hang your 541 00:25:41,229 --> 00:25:43,189 Speaker 2: baby out to dry. And by that I mean you 542 00:25:43,269 --> 00:25:46,509 Speaker 2: meet up right, You're going out to dinner. It's you, 543 00:25:46,509 --> 00:25:49,429 Speaker 2: your baby, friend and Gretel and you, and it's all 544 00:25:49,429 --> 00:25:51,749 Speaker 2: about who you sit next to. Yeah, so sit with 545 00:25:51,789 --> 00:25:54,349 Speaker 2: your friend, that's fine. Get Gretel and your baby down 546 00:25:54,389 --> 00:25:56,349 Speaker 2: the other end, and your baby has to talk to Gretel. 547 00:25:57,269 --> 00:25:59,069 Speaker 2: You don't have to talk to Gretel, you don't have 548 00:25:59,109 --> 00:26:01,349 Speaker 2: to look at her, you don't have to hold her. 549 00:26:02,109 --> 00:26:05,909 Speaker 2: Just siphon them at the end of the table. And 550 00:26:05,949 --> 00:26:08,309 Speaker 2: your baby's like, mom, I don't like it, and you're like, 551 00:26:08,349 --> 00:26:14,749 Speaker 2: shut up. We have to be nice to people who different. Ah, 552 00:26:14,789 --> 00:26:22,269 Speaker 2: poor Gretel. Fine, I'm sure she's a lat Blessed. We 553 00:26:22,389 --> 00:26:25,189 Speaker 2: hope you enjoyed this episode of the Baby Bubble and 554 00:26:25,269 --> 00:26:29,269 Speaker 2: didn't find anything remotely helpful. Don't start a WhatsApp gro Today, Friends, 555 00:26:29,309 --> 00:26:33,389 Speaker 2: Baby Oh Yeah. This season, we've asked a bunch of 556 00:26:33,429 --> 00:26:36,869 Speaker 2: comedians to join us in the Baby Bubble to debrief 557 00:26:36,909 --> 00:26:39,669 Speaker 2: about the funniest thing we've ever done, which is parenting. 558 00:26:40,109 --> 00:26:42,829 Speaker 2: If you're new here, make sure you subscribe so you 559 00:26:42,949 --> 00:26:45,989 Speaker 2: never miss an episode, and while you're already in the 560 00:26:45,989 --> 00:26:48,669 Speaker 2: business tapping your screen, give us a rating and a 561 00:26:48,709 --> 00:26:52,389 Speaker 2: review tube. The Baby Bubble is produced by Taylor Straano, 562 00:26:52,549 --> 00:26:54,989 Speaker 2: with audio production by Teak and Sad Luck. We'll see 563 00:26:55,029 --> 00:27:00,989 Speaker 2: you next week. Bye,