WEBVTT - Tanya Hennessy’s Hard-Won Pregnancy Announcement

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a Mother and Mia podcast. Mama Miya

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<v Speaker 1>acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this

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<v Speaker 1>podcast is recorded.

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<v Speaker 2>On Christmas has always been a really tough time of

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<v Speaker 2>year because I love it so much, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>every it's a marker of time, and it's like, damn it.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, we didn't have a baby this year.

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing happens like it's passing time and I'm aging and

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<v Speaker 2>that's not a good thing in the.

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<v Speaker 1>Clinics, you know, it's.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like

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<v Speaker 2>such a gift.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Welcome to No Filter.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm Kate lane Brook and today I'm sitting down with

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<v Speaker 3>Tanya Hennessy. Tanya is funny, she's relatable, she's endlessly honest.

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<v Speaker 3>But behind the laughs, she's faced a very long, very

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<v Speaker 3>hard road to one of life's most cherished milestones, coming

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<v Speaker 3>a mother. In this conversation, Tanya opens up about the heartbreak,

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<v Speaker 3>the hope, and the quiet moments that tested her strength.

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<v Speaker 3>She talks candidly about her battle within demetriosis, the challenges

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<v Speaker 3>of infertility, and how she brought her audience along with

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<v Speaker 3>her every step of the way, sharing the raw real,

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<v Speaker 3>often messy journey, and then finally, the moment she got

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<v Speaker 3>the baby news she'd been waiting for, a moment of

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<v Speaker 3>joy that's deeply personal, yet a reminder that every journey

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<v Speaker 3>to parenthood is different, and that hope, courage, and perseverance

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<v Speaker 3>look different for everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>Here is Tanya Hennessy.

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<v Speaker 2>Tania Hennessy, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to No Filter. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>this is a good podcast for me because I was

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<v Speaker 2>not born with a filter.

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<v Speaker 1>It's me into trouble sometimes.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it's perfect for you. But let me welcome you

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<v Speaker 2>by saying this, Hello mama. Oh girl, don't I'm so emotional,

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<v Speaker 2>but I can't cry figure that one out?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Are you just get me to know?

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<v Speaker 4>Though?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I think the process of IVF and loss has

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<v Speaker 2>made it really difficult to connect to my.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't try. It's so weird, it's so bizarre. Do

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<v Speaker 1>you think drives me up the wall?

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<v Speaker 3>Because you have spoken very openly about the seven years

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<v Speaker 3>oh of fertility treatments and loss, as you said, and

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<v Speaker 3>you've had endo.

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<v Speaker 1>You've been really lucky.

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<v Speaker 2>My god, how much money can I spend on this

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<v Speaker 2>unborn child? I know almost one hundred twenty grand which

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<v Speaker 2>is like outrageous. I don't have a house, and I

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<v Speaker 2>don't have much savings because I've made some fertility choices.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, like I really think that if I hadn't

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<v Speaker 2>have gone through all of this nonsense with fertility, maybe

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<v Speaker 2>I'd be connected slightly more. I'm a little bit worried

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<v Speaker 2>about it, kay, to be honest, because I'm worried that

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<v Speaker 2>this baby's gonna come out and I'm going to be

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<v Speaker 2>dissociative with it because it's like, I also have an

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<v Speaker 2>anterior placenter, so I can't feel them kicking.

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<v Speaker 1>What does that? What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't I don't know much of biology though I've

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<v Speaker 3>had four children. Anterior placenta, so anterior outside something Oh no.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, yes, where would it normally be.

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<v Speaker 2>It's on the front, so okay, kicks, so it's at

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<v Speaker 2>the front. So basically every time you can have at

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<v Speaker 2>the back or the side, but the front is where

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<v Speaker 2>they kick kick kick, and you can't feel anything. So

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<v Speaker 2>it's I'm like, I also just look a bit chubby,

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<v Speaker 2>which is fine, but I've been this size before, so

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, are you there? Are you there?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Right, you haven't had that moment yet where you've kind

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<v Speaker 3>of popped and you go, I look to the world

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<v Speaker 3>like a pregnant lake.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>And even the scans I reckon, my brain can't quite

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<v Speaker 2>understand that that's in me because it looks like a

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<v Speaker 2>film or something. You know, everyone has this scan, but

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<v Speaker 2>I've never had the scan where you said the baby right.

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<v Speaker 1>Ever, I've always just had empty, empty scans. My brain

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<v Speaker 1>can't compute that that's in me. And I am in therapy.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a really is it's really working.

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<v Speaker 1>It's really working, my therapist.

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<v Speaker 2>Just like saw you on the cover that Body and Soul.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, girl, are you therapizing?

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<v Speaker 1>You're just a fan. That was a great cover, by

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<v Speaker 1>the way.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And you know it's it was that that was

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<v Speaker 2>so scary. Kate like, who oh god, but I did it.

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<v Speaker 2>I did it well.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, everything that you've done is sort of scary,

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<v Speaker 3>including uh, once you decide, if you decide that you

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<v Speaker 3>want to have a baby, and then you find.

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<v Speaker 1>Out that you can't or that the path.

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<v Speaker 3>Is going to be littered with so many obstacles, that

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<v Speaker 3>is really scary. Looking into the abyss of that is scary,

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<v Speaker 3>and particularly for women because we're so conscious of the

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<v Speaker 3>concept of time.

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<v Speaker 1>And being on borrowed time.

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<v Speaker 2>Especially in this industry. I think you do find that

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<v Speaker 2>as well, like my whole life. And I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>about you, but you know, I used to be wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to be an actor, particularly back in the day, and

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<v Speaker 2>it was very much like, oh, so did I really Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to forty, you have to forty, you have

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<v Speaker 2>to find forty felt like this off deadline.

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<v Speaker 1>You couldn't act anymore, you couldn't do anything.

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<v Speaker 2>You were invisible at forty and at thirty nine, pregnant

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<v Speaker 2>feels you know, it's the weirdest thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm on the pres.

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<v Speaker 2>My birthday will be three weeks before my fortieth birthday,

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<v Speaker 2>three weeks before I give birth.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, that's bizarre.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm like turning forward in having this turn of

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<v Speaker 2>life at the same time as giving life, and my

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<v Speaker 2>brain is like, but I'm really excited at the same time,

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<v Speaker 2>but terrified, which I think is kind of normal.

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<v Speaker 3>It's interesting because when we were setting up the tech here,

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<v Speaker 3>I was just watching you and you were so still

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<v Speaker 3>and composed, and I thought, oh, it's a it's another

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<v Speaker 3>nuance of Tanya Hennessy.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, the stillness. Yeah, m do.

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<v Speaker 3>You feel how do you feel different? Okay, there's so

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<v Speaker 3>many things I want to discuss with you. First, let's

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<v Speaker 3>go to the moment, the moment where and in IVF procedures,

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<v Speaker 3>because they're so invasive, there's no secrets, are there.

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<v Speaker 1>Nah?

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<v Speaker 2>And when my embryo was my my doctor was cranky

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<v Speaker 2>at me because I did a different protocol and he

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<v Speaker 2>was like, Tanya Irish or Scottish, Tanya, do you not

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<v Speaker 2>trust me? And I was like, it's not that I

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<v Speaker 2>don't trust you, it's just that I don't have much

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<v Speaker 2>mental space left. And if this doesn't work, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know what I'm going to do. I work in comedy,

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<v Speaker 2>bro Like, I got no jokes, I've got no light

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<v Speaker 2>left in me. I've got to try everything. It's not personal,

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<v Speaker 2>it's drag like I'm trying to get this done.

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<v Speaker 3>Also, I don't know how professional that is, although I

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<v Speaker 3>do you know what I mean. I don't think this

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<v Speaker 3>is the point when you're having an embryo transfer, at

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<v Speaker 3>which the doctor should make it about them.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but being through like the medical system, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think people like, yeah, I have a lot to say

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<v Speaker 2>about it. And how misdiagnosed situations get and how things

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<v Speaker 2>get forgotten and how much you have to advocate for yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>To be honest, being on the other side of fertility

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<v Speaker 2>is so nice because I don't have to go into

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<v Speaker 2>a room and fight for myself like I have had

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<v Speaker 2>to do. And it's wearing and exhausting, you know, going

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<v Speaker 2>in and being like please help me, believe me and

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<v Speaker 2>telling your story fifteen times, and you know, people taking

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<v Speaker 2>money from you and saying they're going.

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<v Speaker 1>To help you, and you know, like it's vulnerable.

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<v Speaker 2>You're like, hey, I just need help, and people are like, yeah, sure,

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<v Speaker 2>if you pay me six hundred dollars and then I'll

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<v Speaker 2>put you on this thing and it might work and

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<v Speaker 2>it might not.

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<v Speaker 3>And then because you've done this for a long time,

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<v Speaker 3>pretty well, since you got together with Tom, or not

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<v Speaker 3>long after you got together with Tom.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so like twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, like you're in

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<v Speaker 2>a studio with Angus O'Laughlin and we used to do

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<v Speaker 2>radio together and we were trying then, and Angus and

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<v Speaker 2>I have not done radio together since twenty nineteen, and

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<v Speaker 2>like he would know, and he's probably listening to this,

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<v Speaker 2>but he would know, I used to come in and.

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<v Speaker 1>Be like, it's not working. It's not working, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a long hours time, right, And Gus has had

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<v Speaker 2>two babies since then. By the way, that's I'm talking

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<v Speaker 2>about it in that term is really interesting too.

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<v Speaker 3>And then what did how are you navigating the You know,

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<v Speaker 3>when you are in a relationship with someone and you

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<v Speaker 3>decide that you are committed enough to each other that

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<v Speaker 3>you want to have children, and then it seems that

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<v Speaker 3>it's a possibility, which I think before you have a child,

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of women think I'm not going to be

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<v Speaker 3>able to have a child, and I think men probably

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<v Speaker 3>think the same thing, only they're right. They can contribute.

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<v Speaker 3>But you know, the women are the pig in the

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<v Speaker 3>bacon and eggs, Like we committed. The chicken is participating.

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<v Speaker 1>That is the funniest. That's one of my mothers, really stupid.

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<v Speaker 1>I love it so much. The chicken is just participating,

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<v Speaker 1>but the pig is committed. Yeah, the figures in there, eh. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So Tom taints younger than me. He's only thirty two

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm thirty nine.

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<v Speaker 1>So he's young.

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<v Speaker 2>So we were like, oh, he won't have any problems

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, we were told for a really long time,

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<v Speaker 2>you're really young and healthy relatively, it should be fine.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, because that's thirty two is young to start, Yes, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>and he was twenty what seven twenty six?

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<v Speaker 1>He was younger that seven years younger than thirty two.

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<v Speaker 1>Whatever that is. I don't do math.

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<v Speaker 2>So we were just told, like constantly, just keep trying,

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<v Speaker 2>just keep trying, just keep trying. And then eventually they

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<v Speaker 2>did a I begged. I begged for an internal I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, there's something wrong, like this is insane. He's like,

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<v Speaker 2>you're stressed. And I was at that time, I, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I was doing a I did a reality show and

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<v Speaker 2>that really messed with my head. And I was going

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<v Speaker 2>like backwards and forwards between jobs in Melbourne and Sydney

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<v Speaker 2>and overseas and.

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<v Speaker 1>What was the reality show? Oh I'm a still ah right.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, the the UK one, did the Australian one.

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<v Speaker 1>The Australian one. Yeah, okay, but that was rough.

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<v Speaker 2>I found that show so hard, Like I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>people love it, but like I hated it and still

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<v Speaker 2>think about it and hate it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that's interesting. Why did you hate it? Because you

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<v Speaker 1>can't shut the door and.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so painfully annoyingly creative that I hated not being

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<v Speaker 2>able to create anything. I just wanted to draw in

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<v Speaker 2>the dirt or like write something, and I wasn't allowed to.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like just to have a chat with somebody else,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, but I don't want to talk to

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to create something.

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<v Speaker 3>And one of those things about I mean, one of

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<v Speaker 3>the things about the job that we do is that

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<v Speaker 3>you can't just see a people. You have to look

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<v Speaker 3>for the diamond in the people in people. Yes, but

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<v Speaker 3>some people are just rocks and if that yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>and so that's a long time to spend with rocks.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And I took my podcasting equipment in there, and like

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<v Speaker 2>that was kind of fun.

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<v Speaker 1>So I got to.

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<v Speaker 2>Interview people as a part of you know, that was

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<v Speaker 2>my luxury item. By the way, tell you, like, what

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<v Speaker 2>a work addict who takes podcasting equipment?

0:11:54.765 --> 0:11:55.645
<v Speaker 1>What's wrong with me?

0:11:56.205 --> 0:11:58.365
<v Speaker 2>But I like, at least I was sort of doing

0:11:58.365 --> 0:12:02.085
<v Speaker 2>something that felt proactive because reality people like Charlotte Crossby,

0:12:02.165 --> 0:12:05.285
<v Speaker 2>she's amazing, but she's really good at just existing and

0:12:05.325 --> 0:12:08.565
<v Speaker 2>making content by existing, whereas I'm a little bit more curated,

0:12:08.645 --> 0:12:10.965
<v Speaker 2>like I want to make something like a book or

0:12:11.325 --> 0:12:14.925
<v Speaker 2>a shollow or social video and it's sort of more

0:12:15.005 --> 0:12:17.845
<v Speaker 2>orchestrated where she just exists and it's funny and brilliant.

0:12:17.885 --> 0:12:19.805
<v Speaker 2>And I just didn't have that capacity. And I would

0:12:19.845 --> 0:12:22.245
<v Speaker 2>look and there was Maths guys and Love Island guys

0:12:22.245 --> 0:12:24.205
<v Speaker 2>and they were really good at it, and I just

0:12:24.245 --> 0:12:26.285
<v Speaker 2>felt like, oh, I don't know how to just exist.

0:12:27.445 --> 0:12:32.445
<v Speaker 2>I'm more curated than existing. I'm not very interesting and

0:12:32.485 --> 0:12:34.285
<v Speaker 2>unless I'm curated, maybe.

0:12:34.245 --> 0:12:37.485
<v Speaker 3>Well, Tracey's got to make it an outing, is what

0:12:37.485 --> 0:12:42.485
<v Speaker 3>you're saying, is because you have, you know, people that

0:12:42.525 --> 0:12:45.485
<v Speaker 3>live inside you, yes, not just the baby.

0:12:45.485 --> 0:12:48.325
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's so weird to think there's like a

0:12:48.325 --> 0:12:51.045
<v Speaker 2>whole spine in me right now, Like how weird. But

0:12:51.805 --> 0:12:55.005
<v Speaker 2>Tracy actually came out of being so sick of myself

0:12:55.165 --> 0:12:57.405
<v Speaker 2>that I created this character who's a sixty year old

0:12:57.405 --> 0:13:01.005
<v Speaker 2>hairdresser and Baptist who has not trained since she went

0:13:01.005 --> 0:13:03.525
<v Speaker 2>to tape in the eighties. And I just really wanted

0:13:03.565 --> 0:13:06.365
<v Speaker 2>to do someone who just wasn't going through fertility challenges

0:13:06.805 --> 0:13:11.245
<v Speaker 2>and she's in development for tsion. So you know, sometimes

0:13:11.325 --> 0:13:16.005
<v Speaker 2>darkness brings out rainbows and I always thought that I

0:13:16.045 --> 0:13:18.925
<v Speaker 2>probably wouldn't have children, just based on what I'd been through,

0:13:18.965 --> 0:13:20.365
<v Speaker 2>and I thought this would this is going to be

0:13:20.405 --> 0:13:24.005
<v Speaker 2>the last round, this one. If it didn't work, I

0:13:24.085 --> 0:13:26.645
<v Speaker 2>was just gonna I would I would just have to

0:13:26.645 --> 0:13:29.645
<v Speaker 2>be satisfied with my life. I was going to find satisfaction.

0:13:30.365 --> 0:13:34.205
<v Speaker 2>But Tracy coming out of the darkness has actually been

0:13:34.245 --> 0:13:37.085
<v Speaker 2>one of the best things for me, because she's amazing.

0:13:37.485 --> 0:13:41.445
<v Speaker 2>We're into this woman because also she's even in the

0:13:42.485 --> 0:13:46.445
<v Speaker 2>you know, our conversation so far that you are beset

0:13:46.685 --> 0:13:50.925
<v Speaker 2>by doubt as a lot of creative people are, and

0:13:51.005 --> 0:13:52.525
<v Speaker 2>she has none.

0:13:53.125 --> 0:13:54.605
<v Speaker 1>None, so confident.

0:13:55.965 --> 0:14:00.205
<v Speaker 2>I love her like and she she doesn't have fertility struggles.

0:14:00.445 --> 0:14:03.605
<v Speaker 2>She she's not overly complex, which I love.

0:14:03.805 --> 0:14:04.005
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:14:04.125 --> 0:14:08.565
<v Speaker 2>I'm like adhd deep as a well, very existential, like

0:14:08.605 --> 0:14:11.045
<v Speaker 2>I think about thinking all the time, and Tracy's just

0:14:11.045 --> 0:14:13.045
<v Speaker 2>sort of like, oh, this is what's in front of me.

0:14:13.085 --> 0:14:15.685
<v Speaker 1>I'll just deal with it. Whereas I go, oh, what's

0:14:15.845 --> 0:14:17.085
<v Speaker 1>the meaning of life?

0:14:19.725 --> 0:14:23.405
<v Speaker 2>Terracy's known nuance when you say so this was going

0:14:23.445 --> 0:14:24.565
<v Speaker 2>to be your last cracker.

0:14:24.645 --> 0:14:29.805
<v Speaker 3>He's trying in an assisted way to have a baby. Yeah,

0:14:30.085 --> 0:14:34.125
<v Speaker 3>had you allowed yourself to go down the path of

0:14:34.245 --> 0:14:36.765
<v Speaker 3>if it didn't work, how your life would look.

0:14:36.965 --> 0:14:39.125
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I've been yeah, and Tom and I both

0:14:39.205 --> 0:14:41.565
<v Speaker 2>went down that path, and we kind of had gone

0:14:41.605 --> 0:14:43.405
<v Speaker 2>so far down it, which is probably why it's hard

0:14:43.405 --> 0:14:45.965
<v Speaker 2>to cry. But we were like, well, let's go to

0:14:46.085 --> 0:14:48.845
<v Speaker 2>Mexico and let's do a kateon live in Italy for

0:14:48.885 --> 0:14:51.485
<v Speaker 2>a year, and you know what I mean, we sort

0:14:51.485 --> 0:14:56.685
<v Speaker 2>of had decided to find other things that would, you know,

0:14:56.845 --> 0:14:59.405
<v Speaker 2>enrich our life and our experience.

0:14:59.725 --> 0:15:02.005
<v Speaker 1>But we knew that there would always be like a

0:15:02.005 --> 0:15:06.125
<v Speaker 1>certain level of grief, right. I just wanted to know.

0:15:06.445 --> 0:15:08.005
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to know what it was like to be

0:15:08.005 --> 0:15:08.365
<v Speaker 2>a parent.

0:15:08.405 --> 0:15:09.125
<v Speaker 1>I have this thing with.

0:15:09.325 --> 0:15:12.845
<v Speaker 2>This is the thought of existentialism, is that, like, what

0:15:13.005 --> 0:15:15.645
<v Speaker 2>is the human experience? I want to have the whole thing?

0:15:16.245 --> 0:15:17.805
<v Speaker 2>You know, I've got a tattoo, and not because I

0:15:17.805 --> 0:15:21.245
<v Speaker 2>wanted one. I want to know how it felt, How

0:15:21.245 --> 0:15:24.325
<v Speaker 2>does it feel to have a baby, how does it

0:15:24.325 --> 0:15:26.325
<v Speaker 2>feel to be a parent? Like I want to have

0:15:26.365 --> 0:15:28.285
<v Speaker 2>the whole gamut of the human experience.

0:15:28.685 --> 0:15:33.365
<v Speaker 3>At what point did you say to Tom, this might

0:15:33.405 --> 0:15:37.605
<v Speaker 3>not be a possibility if you are to stay with me,

0:15:38.525 --> 0:15:42.205
<v Speaker 3>you know that that you're so cognizant of the fact

0:15:42.205 --> 0:15:46.605
<v Speaker 3>that there's another person that may be denied something because

0:15:46.645 --> 0:15:49.045
<v Speaker 3>of the vagaries of the human body.

0:15:49.365 --> 0:15:53.685
<v Speaker 2>He was always like, don't worry about it. We'll have

0:15:53.725 --> 0:15:54.605
<v Speaker 2>a great life anyway.

0:15:54.845 --> 0:15:55.045
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:15:55.525 --> 0:15:57.605
<v Speaker 2>It was actually him coming the other way because I

0:15:57.645 --> 0:16:00.765
<v Speaker 2>was like struggling and annoyed and frustrated, and he was

0:16:00.805 --> 0:16:03.045
<v Speaker 2>like he was over it too, because it is and

0:16:03.085 --> 0:16:07.845
<v Speaker 2>it's draining on a level that and he was just like,

0:16:07.925 --> 0:16:10.045
<v Speaker 2>you know what, it's not worth it. Your mental health

0:16:10.085 --> 0:16:12.445
<v Speaker 2>isn't worth it. Your body isn't worthing. And gained a

0:16:12.525 --> 0:16:15.925
<v Speaker 2>lot of weight, and I was very uncomfortable, very unhealthy,

0:16:16.285 --> 0:16:19.125
<v Speaker 2>and I was so sad, and he was like, Tanya,

0:16:19.205 --> 0:16:19.685
<v Speaker 2>don't worry.

0:16:19.725 --> 0:16:21.125
<v Speaker 1>If we can't have it, we can't have it.

0:16:21.205 --> 0:16:24.485
<v Speaker 2>So like let's grieve and we'll move on. Let's go

0:16:24.485 --> 0:16:26.325
<v Speaker 2>to the zoo and have a couple of lines. You know,

0:16:26.445 --> 0:16:29.885
<v Speaker 2>Like he's he's very mature for his age, but he

0:16:29.885 --> 0:16:33.525
<v Speaker 2>also has three sisters, so I think he really understands women.

0:16:35.045 --> 0:16:38.045
<v Speaker 3>And what's the formation of your family. I know you've

0:16:38.085 --> 0:16:38.805
<v Speaker 3>got your sister.

0:16:39.765 --> 0:16:42.925
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm the eldest, so which just makes no sense

0:16:42.925 --> 0:16:45.845
<v Speaker 2>because I'm the most immature person alive. And my younger

0:16:45.925 --> 0:16:50.205
<v Speaker 2>sister haveves like the older sister, right, you know, she's

0:16:50.245 --> 0:16:54.125
<v Speaker 2>got that sort of more mature vibe. You know, she

0:16:54.205 --> 0:16:56.925
<v Speaker 2>works in the raft like the Royal Australian Air Force.

0:16:57.045 --> 0:16:58.965
<v Speaker 2>And you know the other day I made a video

0:16:59.005 --> 0:17:03.125
<v Speaker 2>about perfume where I wasn't wearing a bra, you know

0:17:03.125 --> 0:17:07.245
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, like with creative and really logistical brains.

0:17:07.285 --> 0:17:09.045
<v Speaker 1>Sort of happened that way.

0:17:09.445 --> 0:17:10.925
<v Speaker 2>And then I've got a brother, a little brother, and

0:17:11.365 --> 0:17:13.805
<v Speaker 2>his wife is due to have a baby, I think tomorrow.

0:17:14.365 --> 0:17:18.365
<v Speaker 2>So oh, we'll have cousins really close four months.

0:17:18.085 --> 0:17:21.085
<v Speaker 3>Which was part of your fantasy, it was.

0:17:21.325 --> 0:17:23.685
<v Speaker 2>And I think we'll only do one slash. I don't

0:17:23.685 --> 0:17:26.205
<v Speaker 2>only think I can't have another one. I don't want

0:17:26.245 --> 0:17:29.125
<v Speaker 2>to do this again. I cannot do this again one

0:17:29.645 --> 0:17:31.885
<v Speaker 2>and are we really stoked? And hopefully the baby will

0:17:31.925 --> 0:17:34.645
<v Speaker 2>be good friends and close with their cousins so they

0:17:34.645 --> 0:17:38.445
<v Speaker 2>can have like, you know, close relationships, because I just

0:17:39.085 --> 0:17:42.845
<v Speaker 2>I won't do this to myself, which aspect of it,

0:17:43.245 --> 0:17:46.965
<v Speaker 2>or first of all, the first trimester is for no one,

0:17:47.165 --> 0:17:52.885
<v Speaker 2>like why are we painting pregnancy like it's you know,

0:17:53.485 --> 0:17:55.925
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, like people on the beach in overalls,

0:17:55.925 --> 0:18:01.445
<v Speaker 2>being good flat, decorating a nursery with a roller, and

0:18:02.005 --> 0:18:07.845
<v Speaker 2>delightfully artfully splattered with paint. Yeah, I'm like, I barely

0:18:07.965 --> 0:18:12.005
<v Speaker 2>moved for twelve weeks and just survived off twisties and

0:18:12.525 --> 0:18:16.285
<v Speaker 2>second trimester. I've definitely gotten better, but I've been on

0:18:16.365 --> 0:18:18.885
<v Speaker 2>zol off the whole time. But I feel bad about

0:18:18.885 --> 0:18:20.765
<v Speaker 2>winging about being pregnant because it took me so long

0:18:20.845 --> 0:18:22.325
<v Speaker 2>to get pregnant. So I don't want to be seen

0:18:22.325 --> 0:18:24.245
<v Speaker 2>as being a dick about it because I am very

0:18:24.245 --> 0:18:28.645
<v Speaker 2>grateful and very thankful, but it is not as nice

0:18:28.805 --> 0:18:30.565
<v Speaker 2>as an experience as I.

0:18:30.485 --> 0:18:31.005
<v Speaker 1>Thought it would.

0:18:31.565 --> 0:18:33.245
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely thought it would be nice.

0:18:33.365 --> 0:18:37.205
<v Speaker 3>A lot of people have a really terrible time when

0:18:37.205 --> 0:18:40.205
<v Speaker 3>they're pregnant, and yet there are seven billion people in

0:18:40.245 --> 0:18:44.525
<v Speaker 3>the world, so you do know that the payoff has

0:18:44.645 --> 0:18:47.285
<v Speaker 3>to be quite spectacular.

0:18:47.725 --> 0:18:52.445
<v Speaker 2>Exactly exactly And did you have bad morning sickness?

0:18:53.005 --> 0:18:54.205
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yep.

0:18:54.565 --> 0:18:56.925
<v Speaker 2>And I was hosting Pete Hellier at the Sydney Writers

0:18:56.965 --> 0:19:00.445
<v Speaker 2>Festival was on session, and I didn't want to tell

0:19:00.485 --> 0:19:02.005
<v Speaker 2>Pe because I want to stress him out or like

0:19:02.005 --> 0:19:05.165
<v Speaker 2>make him feel like I wasn't capable of hosting him.

0:19:05.165 --> 0:19:07.445
<v Speaker 2>But I threw up before the session, after the session,

0:19:07.805 --> 0:19:10.565
<v Speaker 2>like the whole before we got there in the car,

0:19:11.125 --> 0:19:13.765
<v Speaker 2>you know, and it's just wild how amazing women are

0:19:13.805 --> 0:19:16.685
<v Speaker 2>really is what it does to your brain, not only

0:19:16.725 --> 0:19:21.085
<v Speaker 2>to survive like the endurance of infertility, but then to

0:19:21.325 --> 0:19:25.125
<v Speaker 2>go through the experience of successful pregnancy and be like,

0:19:25.125 --> 0:19:27.365
<v Speaker 2>whoa this is Like I feel like my brain is

0:19:27.405 --> 0:19:28.605
<v Speaker 2>like what is happening?

0:19:28.605 --> 0:19:30.965
<v Speaker 1>Because you kind of get to a point with IVF.

0:19:31.045 --> 0:19:33.325
<v Speaker 2>You get stuck in the rounds, you get stuck in

0:19:33.365 --> 0:19:36.125
<v Speaker 2>the es, you get stuck in the embryo quality, you

0:19:36.165 --> 0:19:38.845
<v Speaker 2>get stuck in the is sticky?

0:19:38.925 --> 0:19:39.605
<v Speaker 1>Is it going to stay?

0:19:40.085 --> 0:19:41.445
<v Speaker 2>And then all of a sudden you kicked out of

0:19:41.445 --> 0:19:44.605
<v Speaker 2>the IVF clinic. They're like say, yeah, go to an OB,

0:19:44.645 --> 0:19:46.485
<v Speaker 2>and you go to your OB and then you sort

0:19:46.485 --> 0:19:50.005
<v Speaker 2>of on another path very rapidly after years and years

0:19:50.005 --> 0:19:52.765
<v Speaker 2>of being stuck in sort of neutral, and all of

0:19:52.805 --> 0:19:54.325
<v Speaker 2>a sudden you're in third year and you don't know

0:19:54.325 --> 0:19:58.165
<v Speaker 2>what to do. But I'm kind of enjoying not knowing

0:19:58.205 --> 0:19:59.845
<v Speaker 2>what to do because I'm a bit of a control

0:19:59.885 --> 0:20:01.485
<v Speaker 2>freak and I kind of love that. I'm like, I

0:20:01.525 --> 0:20:03.245
<v Speaker 2>don't know what's going to happen. When this kid comes

0:20:03.245 --> 0:20:05.485
<v Speaker 2>out of me? How am I going to change? That's

0:20:05.565 --> 0:20:08.565
<v Speaker 2>kind of it's scary, but I'm also like ready for

0:20:08.605 --> 0:20:09.125
<v Speaker 2>the change.

0:20:12.765 --> 0:20:16.605
<v Speaker 1>Next, Tanua reveals how Christmas became more than a holiday.

0:20:16.805 --> 0:20:21.045
<v Speaker 3>It became the promise of a family she'd fought so

0:20:21.205 --> 0:20:27.925
<v Speaker 3>hard for. Have you projected yourself into the future space

0:20:27.965 --> 0:20:31.445
<v Speaker 3>of being a parent with Tom and worked out what

0:20:31.645 --> 0:20:32.965
<v Speaker 3>sort of parent you're going to be?

0:20:33.045 --> 0:20:33.125
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:20:33.165 --> 0:20:37.165
<v Speaker 3>What is your I think there's always like a Hallmark

0:20:37.325 --> 0:20:42.005
<v Speaker 3>movie moment that is your on your mental vision board

0:20:42.085 --> 0:20:42.405
<v Speaker 3>or whatever.

0:20:43.165 --> 0:20:45.485
<v Speaker 1>Christmas yours Christmas?

0:20:45.565 --> 0:20:47.765
<v Speaker 2>Right, So this year would be our eighth Christmas without

0:20:47.765 --> 0:20:50.365
<v Speaker 2>a baby. And Christmas has always been a really tough

0:20:50.805 --> 0:20:53.005
<v Speaker 2>time a year because I love it so much, and

0:20:53.485 --> 0:20:55.925
<v Speaker 2>you know, every is a marker of time, and it's like,

0:20:56.045 --> 0:20:57.965
<v Speaker 2>damn it. You know, we didn't have a baby this year.

0:20:58.045 --> 0:21:01.645
<v Speaker 2>Nothing happens like it's passing time and I'm aging and

0:21:02.005 --> 0:21:03.765
<v Speaker 2>that's not a good thing in the clinics, you know,

0:21:03.925 --> 0:21:09.165
<v Speaker 2>it's and I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like.

0:21:09.445 --> 0:21:15.085
<v Speaker 1>Such a gift. I know that is that's a movie.

0:21:16.485 --> 0:21:18.525
<v Speaker 2>So then I think about like fun Christmas names, but

0:21:18.525 --> 0:21:20.325
<v Speaker 2>then I'm like, no, you can't call your kid Noel

0:21:20.645 --> 0:21:23.245
<v Speaker 2>or can you? I don't know, well, Nol was a

0:21:23.325 --> 0:21:27.205
<v Speaker 2>proper name in Nol is cool, but like Holly is

0:21:27.285 --> 0:21:32.445
<v Speaker 2>Missletoe too far? Probably ellef ELpH Santa. I don't just

0:21:32.525 --> 0:21:37.805
<v Speaker 2>got a fierce But so Christmas is something like we

0:21:38.165 --> 0:21:42.205
<v Speaker 2>you know where, like people who went to New York

0:21:42.325 --> 0:21:46.365
<v Speaker 2>for Christmas because we just love Christmas. I decorate the

0:21:46.685 --> 0:21:47.685
<v Speaker 2>four Christmas trees.

0:21:48.045 --> 0:21:48.685
<v Speaker 1>One is pink.

0:21:48.725 --> 0:21:51.325
<v Speaker 2>I've got a Christmas book. I love Christmas, It's my thing.

0:21:51.525 --> 0:21:53.925
<v Speaker 2>And I've been buying Christmas presents for this baby for

0:21:53.965 --> 0:21:56.525
<v Speaker 2>so long, so it's gonna be nice to actually get

0:21:56.565 --> 0:22:00.125
<v Speaker 2>them out. I bought them a good Christmas sack, like

0:22:00.285 --> 0:22:03.605
<v Speaker 2>maybe Stocking Stocking twenty sixteen, and I've just hung onto

0:22:03.645 --> 0:22:05.125
<v Speaker 2>it and put stuff in there for years.

0:22:05.365 --> 0:22:09.205
<v Speaker 1>Oh really like a glory box for a baby. Yeah.

0:22:09.645 --> 0:22:10.565
<v Speaker 1>And what's in there?

0:22:10.965 --> 0:22:15.565
<v Speaker 2>Oh, there's like blankets and like random toys and just

0:22:15.965 --> 0:22:18.045
<v Speaker 2>you know, like a puppy surprise.

0:22:17.765 --> 0:22:20.245
<v Speaker 1>Because it's more just as I.

0:22:20.325 --> 0:22:24.605
<v Speaker 2>Like pollypocket in there. I was sure what I was

0:22:24.605 --> 0:22:26.085
<v Speaker 2>going to have, so I just got a bunch of stuff.

0:22:26.085 --> 0:22:30.285
<v Speaker 2>But it's more sometimes when the transfer works and then

0:22:30.485 --> 0:22:33.805
<v Speaker 2>you have a chemical for that three days, your brain

0:22:33.845 --> 0:22:35.565
<v Speaker 2>gets tricked into believing you're going to be a parent.

0:22:35.605 --> 0:22:37.925
<v Speaker 2>So a lot of it's been purchased during those times

0:22:38.085 --> 0:22:40.805
<v Speaker 2>or Yeah, but you know, the amount of gifts that

0:22:40.845 --> 0:22:43.805
<v Speaker 2>we've gotten from family members that brought them eight years

0:22:43.805 --> 0:22:48.125
<v Speaker 2>ago is like the coolest thing because you're like, these gifts,

0:22:48.165 --> 0:22:48.925
<v Speaker 2>even though they're kind.

0:22:48.805 --> 0:22:52.005
<v Speaker 1>Of people are bringing them out, Yeah, and.

0:22:51.885 --> 0:22:54.405
<v Speaker 2>People held onto them like, Wow, they.

0:22:54.285 --> 0:22:55.885
<v Speaker 1>Had so much faith and hope.

0:22:56.725 --> 0:22:59.205
<v Speaker 2>Like I think that if there's one thing that like,

0:23:00.245 --> 0:23:05.085
<v Speaker 2>you can take almost anything from me anything, but like

0:23:05.125 --> 0:23:07.725
<v Speaker 2>you'll never be able to take my hope or creativity.

0:23:08.245 --> 0:23:11.885
<v Speaker 2>And they're the two things that have help me survive hope.

0:23:12.365 --> 0:23:18.725
<v Speaker 2>And I don't know how how I managed to go

0:23:18.765 --> 0:23:20.245
<v Speaker 2>through this because I look back on it now and

0:23:20.285 --> 0:23:23.125
<v Speaker 2>I feel very sad for myself. Like you, poor bitch,

0:23:23.165 --> 0:23:25.845
<v Speaker 2>what you've been through, Like hope is loud.

0:23:26.365 --> 0:23:31.445
<v Speaker 3>You must have had a time during the process in

0:23:31.485 --> 0:23:34.365
<v Speaker 3>which you felt that hope was lost or did you never?

0:23:35.245 --> 0:23:38.005
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's a video of it. I lost my mind.

0:23:38.765 --> 0:23:41.925
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I actually filmed a documentary on it. It was

0:23:41.965 --> 0:23:45.445
<v Speaker 2>called Sticky Film. Yeah, three Rounds of IVF.

0:23:45.805 --> 0:23:49.405
<v Speaker 3>Was this the doco that didn't end up getting shown.

0:23:49.685 --> 0:23:50.445
<v Speaker 3>Was that that much?

0:23:50.645 --> 0:23:52.085
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no one bought it, And.

0:23:53.405 --> 0:23:57.085
<v Speaker 2>I understand why no one bought it now because I

0:23:57.085 --> 0:23:59.845
<v Speaker 2>mean that was filmed in twenty twenty and it didn't

0:23:59.845 --> 0:24:01.485
<v Speaker 2>work till twenty twenty five, so that would have been

0:24:01.525 --> 0:24:03.765
<v Speaker 2>a long investment for a potential.

0:24:03.365 --> 0:24:08.045
<v Speaker 4>Zeero Oh was the idea to follow you, Yeah, because

0:24:08.085 --> 0:24:10.325
<v Speaker 4>I wanted to show the reality IVF and like the

0:24:10.365 --> 0:24:14.325
<v Speaker 4>funniness because sometimes it's funny, like you know, once they did.

0:24:15.605 --> 0:24:17.485
<v Speaker 2>You know, they did the thingies up the bomb. What

0:24:17.525 --> 0:24:23.405
<v Speaker 2>do they call the oppositories for painkiller? They didn't like

0:24:23.605 --> 0:24:26.645
<v Speaker 2>a scan for the eggs internally, right, They took blood

0:24:26.685 --> 0:24:28.845
<v Speaker 2>out of me and then they go, now we also

0:24:28.845 --> 0:24:30.445
<v Speaker 2>need to do a COVID test. I was like, what

0:24:30.525 --> 0:24:33.165
<v Speaker 2>orifice will you not go in today? And the answer

0:24:33.285 --> 0:24:34.965
<v Speaker 2>is all of them? You know what I mean? I said,

0:24:34.965 --> 0:24:37.765
<v Speaker 2>why can't Tom do the bloody COVID test? He his

0:24:38.005 --> 0:24:43.165
<v Speaker 2>anus has not been taken a frigging painkiller, like come on,

0:24:44.445 --> 0:24:45.925
<v Speaker 2>and it's like, that's always better for the woman to

0:24:45.965 --> 0:24:52.365
<v Speaker 2>do it. But yeah, like rough rough Town McGee. But

0:24:52.525 --> 0:24:55.205
<v Speaker 2>I understand why I want picked it up. But the

0:24:55.245 --> 0:24:58.325
<v Speaker 2>footage was quite cool because Amy Schumer did a documentary

0:24:58.325 --> 0:25:00.005
<v Speaker 2>about her experience being pregnant.

0:25:00.045 --> 0:25:01.045
<v Speaker 1>I think she had HG.

0:25:01.205 --> 0:25:03.085
<v Speaker 2>She had really bad morning sickness, and she was touring

0:25:03.085 --> 0:25:04.765
<v Speaker 2>comedy and I was like, wouldn't it be cool to

0:25:04.805 --> 0:25:09.165
<v Speaker 2>see the process of fertility. But also I was working,

0:25:09.325 --> 0:25:11.725
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean, Like I was like hosting

0:25:11.765 --> 0:25:16.525
<v Speaker 2>the actors for the digital section, and I was, you know,

0:25:16.685 --> 0:25:18.885
<v Speaker 2>making sponsored content at the time. I was doing a

0:25:18.885 --> 0:25:20.965
<v Speaker 2>lot of panel shows, and it was like interesting to

0:25:21.005 --> 0:25:26.725
<v Speaker 2>have these two sort of diametrically opposed things running together.

0:25:26.805 --> 0:25:28.045
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, that would make a great doco.

0:25:28.125 --> 0:25:29.405
<v Speaker 2>But everyone said no to it, and I was like,

0:25:29.485 --> 0:25:33.045
<v Speaker 2>Jesus fucking Christ, that's rough. But also that's the industry

0:25:33.445 --> 0:25:34.965
<v Speaker 2>that was in response to.

0:25:36.765 --> 0:25:38.925
<v Speaker 1>When you lost hope.

0:25:39.485 --> 0:25:41.925
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I want to find some meaning and maybe if

0:25:41.965 --> 0:25:45.925
<v Speaker 2>I could turn my pain into purpose it would be

0:25:46.205 --> 0:25:48.925
<v Speaker 2>somehow worth it. And I think as a content creator

0:25:48.965 --> 0:25:52.765
<v Speaker 2>and a radio announcer and a writer, to have all.

0:25:52.645 --> 0:25:56.245
<v Speaker 1>This sadness and no lesson or no.

0:25:57.845 --> 0:25:59.885
<v Speaker 2>Nothing I could gain out of it just felt so

0:26:00.085 --> 0:26:06.005
<v Speaker 2>worthless and pointless. Girl, These these I like threw I

0:26:06.005 --> 0:26:08.245
<v Speaker 2>threw a vase this day because I was like, they said,

0:26:08.245 --> 0:26:11.765
<v Speaker 2>I'll called up and said no brios nothing and I

0:26:11.765 --> 0:26:16.285
<v Speaker 2>was like, I just gained like twenty kilos nothing is

0:26:16.285 --> 0:26:16.685
<v Speaker 2>what like?

0:26:16.725 --> 0:26:17.045
<v Speaker 1>This is?

0:26:17.365 --> 0:26:20.125
<v Speaker 2>This is wildly unfair because you normally go to the

0:26:20.125 --> 0:26:21.525
<v Speaker 2>doctor and the doctor goes, you got a broken leg.

0:26:21.565 --> 0:26:22.565
<v Speaker 1>Here's what you do about it.

0:26:22.685 --> 0:26:24.885
<v Speaker 2>You go, hey, I got broken fertility, and they go,

0:26:25.285 --> 0:26:27.125
<v Speaker 2>we don't know, but we are going to use you

0:26:27.165 --> 0:26:29.165
<v Speaker 2>as a human test dummy for the next twelve to

0:26:29.205 --> 0:26:32.245
<v Speaker 2>fifteen months and we can't promise anything, and it's like

0:26:32.285 --> 0:26:35.085
<v Speaker 2>it's not their fault, but you're like it makes you

0:26:35.165 --> 0:26:42.085
<v Speaker 2>incensed within, like you're furious about like why why can't

0:26:42.085 --> 0:26:44.325
<v Speaker 2>anyone help me or promise me? And you're just looking around, going, well,

0:26:44.365 --> 0:26:45.965
<v Speaker 2>someone tell me if this is going to work. And

0:26:46.005 --> 0:26:47.685
<v Speaker 2>the answer is no one can.

0:26:47.885 --> 0:26:51.045
<v Speaker 1>So that's why the hope is so necessary to get through.

0:26:51.845 --> 0:26:53.925
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I had rough times where I was like,

0:26:55.005 --> 0:26:56.805
<v Speaker 2>that's why I have to take like eight months off

0:26:57.325 --> 0:26:57.925
<v Speaker 2>just to survive.

0:26:58.645 --> 0:27:03.965
<v Speaker 3>And what was the infertility was attributed to your indo? Yeah,

0:27:04.125 --> 0:27:06.325
<v Speaker 3>which when we you diagnosed with.

0:27:06.285 --> 0:27:12.725
<v Speaker 1>That like twenty twenty two? Are that late? Yes? That's why?

0:27:11.805 --> 0:27:17.005
<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, oh what girl? It was on the scan.

0:27:17.085 --> 0:27:18.765
<v Speaker 2>So when they did the internal that I begged for

0:27:19.285 --> 0:27:21.165
<v Speaker 2>in the internal They were like, girl, you've got really

0:27:21.165 --> 0:27:23.965
<v Speaker 2>bad endo. How do you Your periods must be awful.

0:27:23.965 --> 0:27:26.685
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, this is just the radiographer or whatever,

0:27:26.725 --> 0:27:27.925
<v Speaker 2>you know, she's doing the internal scan.

0:27:28.045 --> 0:27:29.405
<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure if there were a job position.

0:27:29.525 --> 0:27:32.645
<v Speaker 2>Sorry, And and I was like, I have ENDO and

0:27:32.685 --> 0:27:34.765
<v Speaker 2>she's like, yes, it's on your bow, it's everywhere. I

0:27:34.805 --> 0:27:36.565
<v Speaker 2>was like, she's like, yeah, this is like stage four.

0:27:36.725 --> 0:27:39.365
<v Speaker 2>She's like, I'm not allowed to diagnose though, but you can.

0:27:39.965 --> 0:27:42.005
<v Speaker 2>It's very it's bad.

0:27:42.485 --> 0:27:44.605
<v Speaker 1>How many stages are they, by the way.

0:27:44.565 --> 0:27:49.405
<v Speaker 2>But oh okay, yeah, so one's four, which means on

0:27:49.485 --> 0:27:52.645
<v Speaker 2>another it's on another part of your body. So I've

0:27:52.645 --> 0:27:56.645
<v Speaker 2>got it in my uterus and bow, or you can

0:27:56.685 --> 0:27:58.325
<v Speaker 2>have it on your lungs, you can have a new kidney,

0:27:58.325 --> 0:28:00.045
<v Speaker 2>you can have it. Some people get in their brain

0:28:00.125 --> 0:28:02.485
<v Speaker 2>their heart like it's crazy because they don't quite know

0:28:02.525 --> 0:28:02.965
<v Speaker 2>what it is.

0:28:03.645 --> 0:28:07.445
<v Speaker 1>Right, So it's just it's this excess tissue. Yeah yeah,

0:28:07.485 --> 0:28:09.725
<v Speaker 1>but it's inflammatory as well, right.

0:28:10.965 --> 0:28:19.285
<v Speaker 3>So Tanya, So twenty twenty two, you have been exploring

0:28:19.445 --> 0:28:25.885
<v Speaker 3>the obstacles to your fertility for four years?

0:28:26.685 --> 0:28:29.805
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Four years? Yeah?

0:28:30.325 --> 0:28:36.125
<v Speaker 3>Has no one, no medical professional at any time during that.

0:28:35.925 --> 0:28:36.885
<v Speaker 1>For two years.

0:28:36.925 --> 0:28:38.725
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So after I did The Jungle, after I did

0:28:38.765 --> 0:28:41.565
<v Speaker 2>I'm a Celeb, there was a lot of like, oh,

0:28:41.605 --> 0:28:44.605
<v Speaker 2>you've got you know, you keep traveling and you're missing cycles,

0:28:44.605 --> 0:28:46.205
<v Speaker 2>but you're young and you're healthier chicken, you know what

0:28:46.205 --> 0:28:49.165
<v Speaker 2>I mean. That's that's where that conversation came from. The

0:28:49.165 --> 0:28:51.685
<v Speaker 2>first two years we were doing with our medical assistance,

0:28:51.685 --> 0:28:54.685
<v Speaker 2>and then the second so I was just doing on

0:28:54.725 --> 0:28:55.805
<v Speaker 2>TikTok with you.

0:28:56.405 --> 0:28:57.725
<v Speaker 1>But you've still seen a doctor.

0:28:58.285 --> 0:29:01.125
<v Speaker 3>You've seen a doctor, and has nobody said at this

0:29:01.685 --> 0:29:05.885
<v Speaker 3>point this is a good starting place for women who

0:29:05.925 --> 0:29:10.645
<v Speaker 3>are experiencing fertility issues, is let's have a look at

0:29:10.645 --> 0:29:11.365
<v Speaker 3>what's going on.

0:29:12.805 --> 0:29:16.565
<v Speaker 2>Didn't happen, No, And that's why that's yeah, it makes sense,

0:29:17.445 --> 0:29:21.205
<v Speaker 2>was what I'm saying about advocation, Like I wish I

0:29:21.205 --> 0:29:24.405
<v Speaker 2>had a known that endo was even gonna do this

0:29:24.445 --> 0:29:26.565
<v Speaker 2>to me, Like I thought my pain was super normal.

0:29:27.165 --> 0:29:30.645
<v Speaker 2>Also like I don't know, I'm kind of like the

0:29:30.765 --> 0:29:34.085
<v Speaker 2>ENDO is annoying, but I can survive it. What I

0:29:34.125 --> 0:29:37.045
<v Speaker 2>couldn't survive was not being a parent. And I'm not

0:29:37.085 --> 0:29:40.565
<v Speaker 2>real good at taking no as an answer, Like in general,

0:29:40.725 --> 0:29:42.165
<v Speaker 2>if I want.

0:29:42.005 --> 0:29:46.725
<v Speaker 3>Something, yes, but the no could have been a maybe

0:29:46.925 --> 0:29:48.605
<v Speaker 3>or even a yes earlier.

0:29:48.925 --> 0:29:50.325
<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, yeah.

0:29:50.445 --> 0:29:52.205
<v Speaker 2>I like, why didn't they find it when I was

0:29:52.205 --> 0:29:54.605
<v Speaker 2>a teenager and I had to take two days off

0:29:54.605 --> 0:29:57.885
<v Speaker 2>from school most of my year ten eleven twelve? Why

0:29:57.885 --> 0:29:59.725
<v Speaker 2>didn't When we first go to the GP, they look

0:29:59.725 --> 0:30:02.125
<v Speaker 2>at that, but it was, oh, you've got to lose.

0:30:01.845 --> 0:30:03.565
<v Speaker 1>Weight, you know.

0:30:03.805 --> 0:30:06.165
<v Speaker 2>It was every excuse instead of like, let's do an internal,

0:30:06.205 --> 0:30:08.245
<v Speaker 2>and that's what I begged for the internal. That's when

0:30:08.965 --> 0:30:12.165
<v Speaker 2>it all shifted none out of surgery and then straight

0:30:12.205 --> 0:30:16.245
<v Speaker 2>to IVF. And then I went on a menopause drug,

0:30:16.245 --> 0:30:20.365
<v Speaker 2>a synthetic menopause drug that which was really messed up.

0:30:20.365 --> 0:30:25.125
<v Speaker 2>I took that flick six months and it basically stops

0:30:25.165 --> 0:30:28.285
<v Speaker 2>your menstrual flow, so it stops your eggs from getting

0:30:28.325 --> 0:30:31.885
<v Speaker 2>amongst the endometriosis and the inflammation. But as a result

0:30:31.925 --> 0:30:33.925
<v Speaker 2>you go it two synthetic menopause.

0:30:36.885 --> 0:30:38.445
<v Speaker 1>I'm not looking forward to menopause.

0:30:38.485 --> 0:30:42.445
<v Speaker 2>After like six months of it, I was like, Wow, Like,

0:30:42.525 --> 0:30:44.845
<v Speaker 2>you get the hot flushes, you get really emotional, your

0:30:44.885 --> 0:30:47.845
<v Speaker 2>boobs go up and down, all of the symptoms of menopause,

0:30:47.845 --> 0:30:50.565
<v Speaker 2>but you're trying to achieve the opposite.

0:30:51.125 --> 0:30:57.805
<v Speaker 1>So through all of this, you're being funny, ampt you're

0:30:57.845 --> 0:31:02.925
<v Speaker 1>being funny. I'm actually achieved attempt like it's amazing.

0:31:02.925 --> 0:31:07.245
<v Speaker 3>And I say this as someone whose son had leukemia

0:31:07.285 --> 0:31:10.165
<v Speaker 3>and I did my job, which was also being funny

0:31:10.245 --> 0:31:12.445
<v Speaker 3>for four years and people would always go, I don't

0:31:12.445 --> 0:31:13.245
<v Speaker 3>know how you did it.

0:31:13.285 --> 0:31:14.205
<v Speaker 1>But now I'm.

0:31:14.125 --> 0:31:19.285
<v Speaker 3>Saying to you, yeah, so true. But I understand because in.

0:31:19.125 --> 0:31:21.885
<v Speaker 1>My cause you see, yeah, what you well?

0:31:21.925 --> 0:31:24.925
<v Speaker 3>In my case, it was sometimes the only I was

0:31:24.965 --> 0:31:26.725
<v Speaker 3>doing breakfast radio with Hughsey.

0:31:26.925 --> 0:31:28.285
<v Speaker 1>Yeah that's way. It was breaky.

0:31:28.605 --> 0:31:32.045
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was breaky. And very often I couldn't make

0:31:32.085 --> 0:31:35.245
<v Speaker 3>it to the studio. I'd have to be at the

0:31:35.285 --> 0:31:38.765
<v Speaker 3>hospital or home with our other three children for various

0:31:38.805 --> 0:31:43.405
<v Speaker 3>reasons when things were really terrible. But when I did

0:31:43.485 --> 0:31:47.925
<v Speaker 3>make it there, it would sometimes be the only time

0:31:48.245 --> 0:31:51.725
<v Speaker 3>in my day, in my week, in my month that

0:31:51.885 --> 0:31:55.885
<v Speaker 3>was not about cancer. Oh and do you find that,

0:31:58.285 --> 0:32:01.885
<v Speaker 3>did you find that blessed release?

0:32:02.085 --> 0:32:02.245
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

0:32:02.285 --> 0:32:06.885
<v Speaker 2>For sure, because yeah, like one thing I loved about

0:32:06.885 --> 0:32:08.565
<v Speaker 2>doing full time radio and I'm not done full time

0:32:08.645 --> 0:32:10.285
<v Speaker 2>radio on a long time now, but god, I loved

0:32:10.325 --> 0:32:12.765
<v Speaker 2>it back in the day when it was there's only

0:32:12.805 --> 0:32:19.005
<v Speaker 2>eight people doing full time I know, but because really,

0:32:19.125 --> 0:32:20.405
<v Speaker 2>no matter what was going on in my life, I

0:32:20.405 --> 0:32:22.325
<v Speaker 2>could always go on air and it would just disappear.

0:32:22.645 --> 0:32:23.725
<v Speaker 1>Everything else would disappear.

0:32:23.765 --> 0:32:26.525
<v Speaker 2>And you know, if it's the antidote to anxiety really

0:32:26.525 --> 0:32:29.325
<v Speaker 2>because you're so present, because you have to be you

0:32:29.445 --> 0:32:33.325
<v Speaker 2>have to be right there in the moment, listening, responding, reacting,

0:32:33.485 --> 0:32:40.285
<v Speaker 2>live and one hundred percent one hundred percent content creation

0:32:41.365 --> 0:32:46.205
<v Speaker 2>and you know, doing film, television, books, books, book tours, whatever, podcasting.

0:32:47.245 --> 0:32:49.965
<v Speaker 2>It became my safe space and fund space because it

0:32:50.085 --> 0:32:51.365
<v Speaker 2>was like nothing else.

0:32:51.485 --> 0:32:52.445
<v Speaker 1>You've also had.

0:32:53.765 --> 0:32:56.285
<v Speaker 3>You know, there are parallels in our experience in so

0:32:56.405 --> 0:32:59.045
<v Speaker 3>far as that goes, but you also had it going

0:32:59.085 --> 0:33:04.445
<v Speaker 3>on within your body and the flattening that can happen

0:33:04.645 --> 0:33:10.965
<v Speaker 3>with hormonal surges and treatments and whatever is like nummy.

0:33:10.765 --> 0:33:11.045
<v Speaker 1>I know.

0:33:11.125 --> 0:33:15.085
<v Speaker 2>But Kate, like, I freelance so I can choose whether

0:33:15.165 --> 0:33:18.325
<v Speaker 2>or not I do and don't work, which not all

0:33:18.365 --> 0:33:20.845
<v Speaker 2>the time because sometimes you need money to.

0:33:20.885 --> 0:33:24.245
<v Speaker 1>Live and rent to this concepts.

0:33:24.525 --> 0:33:26.605
<v Speaker 2>But like I think, when you work in a team,

0:33:26.845 --> 0:33:29.325
<v Speaker 2>like how you know you were with hughs, it's so

0:33:29.525 --> 0:33:32.165
<v Speaker 2>hard to not come into work because you do feel like,

0:33:32.245 --> 0:33:34.765
<v Speaker 2>oh no, you know, I'm like the team and the

0:33:34.805 --> 0:33:37.445
<v Speaker 2>team and this, and you hold it differently to when

0:33:37.445 --> 0:33:41.165
<v Speaker 2>you're a freelancer doing it solo. But I mean, yeah,

0:33:41.285 --> 0:33:45.045
<v Speaker 2>I had to cancel a lot. I still I don't

0:33:45.085 --> 0:33:48.325
<v Speaker 2>like to cancel a lot like or at all, because

0:33:48.805 --> 0:33:51.125
<v Speaker 2>I still have that And I don't know if.

0:33:51.045 --> 0:33:51.765
<v Speaker 1>You have this still.

0:33:51.805 --> 0:33:54.125
<v Speaker 2>I'd be interested to know, because I do see a

0:33:54.165 --> 0:33:58.365
<v Speaker 2>lot of myself in you imposter syndrome, Like I'm so

0:33:58.485 --> 0:34:00.405
<v Speaker 2>scared to say no to an opportunity because of what

0:34:00.445 --> 0:34:01.525
<v Speaker 2>if it never comes up again.

0:34:02.165 --> 0:34:05.525
<v Speaker 1>So that's why I never want to cancel all or anything.

0:34:05.485 --> 0:34:09.965
<v Speaker 3>That's a freelancer thing. And I think showbies generally as well.

0:34:10.005 --> 0:34:12.845
<v Speaker 3>If you're not a NEPO baby and you haven't been

0:34:13.485 --> 0:34:18.165
<v Speaker 3>born with this clear pathway to you know, the yellow

0:34:18.165 --> 0:34:21.245
<v Speaker 3>brick road that leads to OZ, then I think you

0:34:21.325 --> 0:34:23.525
<v Speaker 3>always have a thing that I need to accept this

0:34:24.365 --> 0:34:27.285
<v Speaker 3>opportunity because this opportunity may not come again.

0:34:27.725 --> 0:34:30.365
<v Speaker 1>And it's true that certain opportunities only come once.

0:34:30.525 --> 0:34:33.165
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I had this amazing opportunity the other day.

0:34:33.205 --> 0:34:36.645
<v Speaker 2>I lost my mind over it. It was an animation.

0:34:37.765 --> 0:34:41.685
<v Speaker 2>Can you deal doing an animation? It's like my freaking dream.

0:34:41.805 --> 0:34:43.845
<v Speaker 2>And it was a villain. It was a cartoon villain,

0:34:43.965 --> 0:34:45.485
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh my god. And I auditioned,

0:34:45.485 --> 0:34:46.725
<v Speaker 2>I did the whole thing, and I got it. And

0:34:46.725 --> 0:34:49.205
<v Speaker 2>I've auditioned a lot and gotten nothing, Like I'm not

0:34:49.205 --> 0:34:50.965
<v Speaker 2>even kidding a probably auditioned for one hundred and twenty

0:34:51.005 --> 0:34:55.085
<v Speaker 2>things back in the day and got literally nothing. I

0:34:55.125 --> 0:35:02.085
<v Speaker 2>am actually incredibly talented at not getting auditions, unbelievably skilled. Honestly,

0:35:02.125 --> 0:35:04.685
<v Speaker 2>I should write about it. But I got this job,

0:35:04.805 --> 0:35:07.125
<v Speaker 2>and I was so sick, I was so mourning sick.

0:35:07.245 --> 0:35:09.485
<v Speaker 2>But I was like, I'm going to take everything. It's

0:35:09.525 --> 0:35:11.205
<v Speaker 2>a ball and I'm going to pretend. And once I

0:35:11.205 --> 0:35:13.765
<v Speaker 2>got behind the microphone, you know, I was, you know,

0:35:14.245 --> 0:35:15.885
<v Speaker 2>going through it. But I was like, come on, come on,

0:35:15.925 --> 0:35:17.765
<v Speaker 2>this is like and it was the best day. It

0:35:17.765 --> 0:35:19.125
<v Speaker 2>was the best day of my career. And I got

0:35:19.125 --> 0:35:23.485
<v Speaker 2>to push it away for like a bit and get there.

0:35:24.125 --> 0:35:26.925
<v Speaker 2>But like it's so different. This pain, like not pain,

0:35:26.965 --> 0:35:29.445
<v Speaker 2>but like this, you know, the difficulty of pregnancy is

0:35:29.485 --> 0:35:31.445
<v Speaker 2>nothing compared to the difficulty of infertility.

0:35:32.005 --> 0:35:33.685
<v Speaker 1>Like I don't prefer this.

0:35:33.725 --> 0:35:38.845
<v Speaker 3>Then, well because also one is finite and one is infinite.

0:35:39.125 --> 0:35:43.765
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, real infinite, and that's the hardest part of it.

0:35:43.925 --> 0:35:47.365
<v Speaker 1>And when you imagined your life.

0:35:47.485 --> 0:35:49.925
<v Speaker 3>I know that you said you and Tom. Tom was

0:35:49.965 --> 0:35:54.005
<v Speaker 3>always like, we're going to have a great life. What

0:35:54.325 --> 0:35:58.245
<v Speaker 3>was it that was so important about having a child?

0:35:58.565 --> 0:35:59.005
<v Speaker 1>To you?

0:35:59.605 --> 0:36:03.605
<v Speaker 2>I feel like a part of me just wouldn't have

0:36:03.765 --> 0:36:07.605
<v Speaker 2>felt whole. And I hate saying that because I know

0:36:07.645 --> 0:36:10.005
<v Speaker 2>some people can't have children, they don't want to have children.

0:36:10.045 --> 0:36:13.605
<v Speaker 2>But I I'm speaking on my personal.

0:36:13.285 --> 0:36:17.445
<v Speaker 3>Life course, and can I just say as well, there's

0:36:17.485 --> 0:36:21.165
<v Speaker 3>a real tendency for us not want to not want

0:36:21.205 --> 0:36:25.885
<v Speaker 3>to hurt other people with what we have, and I

0:36:25.925 --> 0:36:29.525
<v Speaker 3>do think you need to set that aside, because not

0:36:29.685 --> 0:36:33.325
<v Speaker 3>everyone can have everything. It's really hard, it's terrible. We

0:36:33.365 --> 0:36:37.005
<v Speaker 3>all have friends who have not held in their arms.

0:36:37.845 --> 0:36:39.605
<v Speaker 3>It's a little one that they wanted to hold.

0:36:39.925 --> 0:36:42.085
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Isn't that blue episode?

0:36:42.165 --> 0:36:45.605
<v Speaker 2>That blue episode where the aunt cast day because she

0:36:45.685 --> 0:36:48.205
<v Speaker 2>can't have children? God, that episode is so meaningful to

0:36:48.245 --> 0:36:50.805
<v Speaker 2>me because I felt like I've not been the best aunt.

0:36:51.005 --> 0:36:53.005
<v Speaker 1>When did you see it? Where were you at when

0:36:53.045 --> 0:36:53.525
<v Speaker 1>you saw it?

0:36:53.645 --> 0:36:55.645
<v Speaker 2>I think I was like round six of IVY and

0:36:55.725 --> 0:36:57.885
<v Speaker 2>I was like no, no, no, no, five, five, And

0:36:57.925 --> 0:37:00.565
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh God, And I wasn't getting anything

0:37:00.925 --> 0:37:03.525
<v Speaker 2>as my eggs kept breaking because the quality was so bad,

0:37:04.205 --> 0:37:07.405
<v Speaker 2>and so then just yeah, I don't know. I think

0:37:07.845 --> 0:37:09.885
<v Speaker 2>I've always wanted to be a parent. I want to

0:37:09.885 --> 0:37:12.365
<v Speaker 2>know how it feels. I want to know what life

0:37:12.485 --> 0:37:15.045
<v Speaker 2>is like to be a parent. I want to see

0:37:15.085 --> 0:37:16.765
<v Speaker 2>the world through a child's eyes.

0:37:17.685 --> 0:37:18.085
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:37:18.125 --> 0:37:20.325
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I just need to see them. I

0:37:20.365 --> 0:37:21.165
<v Speaker 2>need to meet them.

0:37:21.205 --> 0:37:25.365
<v Speaker 1>What do they like? What are they? Do they like cricket?

0:37:26.085 --> 0:37:27.085
<v Speaker 1>Do they like them?

0:37:29.125 --> 0:37:32.805
<v Speaker 3>For your sake that they don't like cricket?

0:37:33.685 --> 0:37:34.005
<v Speaker 1>Girl?

0:37:34.645 --> 0:37:38.165
<v Speaker 2>If aught on a Sunday, I can't, I am anyway,

0:37:38.285 --> 0:37:41.045
<v Speaker 2>But no, you know, I'm like, I'm just fascinated to know.

0:37:44.685 --> 0:37:48.005
<v Speaker 3>After this break, Tanya gets real about the fears that

0:37:48.125 --> 0:37:56.485
<v Speaker 3>linger even as she counts down to becoming a mom.

0:37:56.645 --> 0:37:59.005
<v Speaker 1>What were you like when you were young?

0:37:59.165 --> 0:38:02.125
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I was a little shit. I'm so

0:38:02.405 --> 0:38:05.845
<v Speaker 2>afraid for myself. I was so naughty, I was so

0:38:06.965 --> 0:38:10.645
<v Speaker 2>like opinionated. When I was three, I had my own radio.

0:38:10.445 --> 0:38:12.125
<v Speaker 1>Show, you know what I mean, Like.

0:38:12.125 --> 0:38:14.205
<v Speaker 2>I was, you know those like little It was like

0:38:14.245 --> 0:38:16.405
<v Speaker 2>a Fisher and Pike cool thing, and you'd press record

0:38:16.445 --> 0:38:18.165
<v Speaker 2>and play at the same time and record your own

0:38:18.205 --> 0:38:20.645
<v Speaker 2>voice and had a little microphone attached to it's like

0:38:20.725 --> 0:38:23.965
<v Speaker 2>white plastic with a fisher and pike, sort of red

0:38:24.005 --> 0:38:25.045
<v Speaker 2>and blue.

0:38:25.365 --> 0:38:28.685
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right, yeah yeah, you had that.

0:38:29.165 --> 0:38:31.405
<v Speaker 2>Yes, And I used to say words that rhymed with duck,

0:38:31.525 --> 0:38:34.285
<v Speaker 2>you know, just for entertainment for my parents, and.

0:38:34.245 --> 0:38:35.405
<v Speaker 1>They were like, go away.

0:38:36.445 --> 0:38:40.525
<v Speaker 2>And I was a real little teenage nightmare, very opinionated,

0:38:41.285 --> 0:38:46.565
<v Speaker 2>very creatively stuck. Radio saved my life because I I

0:38:46.605 --> 0:38:49.925
<v Speaker 2>could finally be creative in my own terms. Really, because

0:38:49.965 --> 0:38:52.485
<v Speaker 2>being an actor you wait for opportunities. Radio yes is just.

0:38:52.605 --> 0:38:56.965
<v Speaker 3>Do yes, and there's an immediac. There's an immediac that

0:38:57.045 --> 0:38:57.965
<v Speaker 3>really suits you.

0:38:58.285 --> 0:38:59.405
<v Speaker 1>Yes. And same with social.

0:38:59.445 --> 0:39:01.445
<v Speaker 2>Social really opened up the world for me in terms

0:39:01.485 --> 0:39:05.525
<v Speaker 2>of creating because it's I find creating insatiable, Like I

0:39:05.605 --> 0:39:07.725
<v Speaker 2>just want to make and create. Like I wrote five

0:39:07.805 --> 0:39:13.245
<v Speaker 2>books this year. It's August. I've been pregnant and done

0:39:13.285 --> 0:39:15.885
<v Speaker 2>around the five years and had an endo surgery.

0:39:16.205 --> 0:39:18.485
<v Speaker 1>I just am very addicted to stories.

0:39:18.645 --> 0:39:21.605
<v Speaker 2>I love to tell stories, write stories, connect with people,

0:39:22.125 --> 0:39:24.805
<v Speaker 2>and I just I want this baby to grow up

0:39:25.165 --> 0:39:28.365
<v Speaker 2>in the I don't know magical way that I did.

0:39:28.405 --> 0:39:30.605
<v Speaker 2>You know, I had such a great childhood and my

0:39:30.685 --> 0:39:32.925
<v Speaker 2>pop was so present, you know, I want them to

0:39:32.965 --> 0:39:35.005
<v Speaker 2>be like a part of my parents' life and my

0:39:35.285 --> 0:39:36.245
<v Speaker 2>brothers and sisters.

0:39:36.285 --> 0:39:40.685
<v Speaker 1>And you know, how is Tom's family? What's his family situation?

0:39:40.925 --> 0:39:44.245
<v Speaker 2>So he's the youngest of four and yeah, all girls,

0:39:44.485 --> 0:39:47.285
<v Speaker 2>and they have all had children, like long, long time,

0:39:47.365 --> 0:39:49.165
<v Speaker 2>Like the oldest is old.

0:39:49.525 --> 0:39:51.925
<v Speaker 1>Ah, so you've got babysitters.

0:39:52.325 --> 0:39:56.085
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but they live in Bloody to Woomba. Ah, I

0:39:56.165 --> 0:39:59.885
<v Speaker 2>live not into womb Yeah. Yeah, but I'm sure they'll

0:39:59.925 --> 0:40:03.005
<v Speaker 2>come down. They're all really pretty. Tom's sisters, they're all

0:40:03.125 --> 0:40:07.125
<v Speaker 2>very attractive. But they all have long, dark hair, and

0:40:07.165 --> 0:40:10.085
<v Speaker 2>so do I, which makes me slightly confus about Tom's

0:40:11.645 --> 0:40:16.605
<v Speaker 2>issues with family, right, Like I have long lack hair

0:40:16.605 --> 0:40:19.605
<v Speaker 2>and all the like, Bro, what's this about.

0:40:19.725 --> 0:40:21.965
<v Speaker 1>Let's well, there's not that many choices.

0:40:22.245 --> 0:40:27.525
<v Speaker 3>No, you're right, I mean really, it's it's not that strange.

0:40:27.885 --> 0:40:30.325
<v Speaker 2>And Ted Bundy loved to a girl with long, straight hair.

0:40:30.365 --> 0:40:33.325
<v Speaker 2>So does he call you sis? Twice?

0:40:33.445 --> 0:40:38.285
<v Speaker 1>He has no Sometimes I call him mum though, because

0:40:38.565 --> 0:40:40.045
<v Speaker 1>he does so much for me.

0:40:40.085 --> 0:40:43.165
<v Speaker 2>And he's a chef, right, so his love language is foods,

0:40:43.485 --> 0:40:44.765
<v Speaker 2>so he's like making food all the time.

0:40:44.805 --> 0:40:47.205
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, thanks, Mom, Like Jesus, Nope, that's not Okay,

0:40:47.845 --> 0:40:51.445
<v Speaker 1>is your plan when the baby comes? What's your work plan?

0:40:52.125 --> 0:40:53.805
<v Speaker 2>Tom's going to be a stay at home dad, so

0:40:53.845 --> 0:40:58.245
<v Speaker 2>he we've structured it so he will not work for

0:40:58.285 --> 0:41:02.085
<v Speaker 2>twelve months, and I'll probably work within three months of

0:41:03.565 --> 0:41:06.525
<v Speaker 2>uh giving birth. But I'll do a sea section. Not

0:41:06.525 --> 0:41:08.205
<v Speaker 2>saying that that's easier. I think it's actually going to

0:41:08.245 --> 0:41:11.005
<v Speaker 2>be harder. I'm not sure what's happened there. I've got

0:41:11.005 --> 0:41:12.725
<v Speaker 2>to have to see a midwife because I'm like, what

0:41:12.845 --> 0:41:16.885
<v Speaker 2>happens after it's out? Like, do you chat to it

0:41:16.925 --> 0:41:18.805
<v Speaker 2>for a little bit. It's obviously varied it.

0:41:19.405 --> 0:41:22.405
<v Speaker 1>Ah, if you're are you having a C section? Yeah?

0:41:22.445 --> 0:41:24.445
<v Speaker 1>Well I know about that because I've had four of them.

0:41:24.805 --> 0:41:25.405
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah.

0:41:25.485 --> 0:41:28.045
<v Speaker 2>So I don't have the option because of my endometriosis.

0:41:28.205 --> 0:41:29.085
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah yeah.

0:41:29.445 --> 0:41:33.085
<v Speaker 3>So they'll they give the baby to the alleged father,

0:41:33.485 --> 0:41:38.645
<v Speaker 3>all yes, as I call Peter Lewis, and then you

0:41:38.965 --> 0:41:40.205
<v Speaker 3>they kind of clean you.

0:41:40.325 --> 0:41:44.205
<v Speaker 1>Up and stitch you up. Yeah, very important to stitch

0:41:44.205 --> 0:41:44.605
<v Speaker 1>you up.

0:41:45.165 --> 0:41:49.445
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And then it's sometimes it's quite sort of quick,

0:41:49.645 --> 0:41:52.005
<v Speaker 3>maybe an hour, but I had one that was a

0:41:52.005 --> 0:41:56.005
<v Speaker 3>bit wonky and that was maybe two and a half

0:41:56.125 --> 0:41:58.645
<v Speaker 3>hours until I saw Peter and the baby.

0:41:58.925 --> 0:42:01.085
<v Speaker 1>Oh, so they kind of go away with the baby.

0:42:01.245 --> 0:42:05.125
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they yes, because they're not in the operating room

0:42:05.245 --> 0:42:09.525
<v Speaker 3>or you're getting all that done. And then you see

0:42:09.525 --> 0:42:12.565
<v Speaker 3>the baby. I'll turn your hair nessy. I mean you

0:42:12.605 --> 0:42:14.405
<v Speaker 3>see the baby straight away. When you have the baby,

0:42:14.405 --> 0:42:17.125
<v Speaker 3>they put the baby on your chest, so you have

0:42:17.245 --> 0:42:20.485
<v Speaker 3>that moment, and they dangle the baby.

0:42:20.245 --> 0:42:23.685
<v Speaker 1>Over the screen. I love a dangle. That's the dangle

0:42:23.805 --> 0:42:24.325
<v Speaker 1>is great.

0:42:25.445 --> 0:42:27.765
<v Speaker 3>And then Tom will probably be up because I said

0:42:27.805 --> 0:42:29.725
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want Peter seeing my innards.

0:42:30.685 --> 0:42:32.725
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how you are about that, but I'm like,

0:42:32.805 --> 0:42:33.445
<v Speaker 1>it's already.

0:42:33.605 --> 0:42:37.045
<v Speaker 3>I never wanted him down that, you know, business end,

0:42:37.205 --> 0:42:39.005
<v Speaker 3>which was once was the party.

0:42:38.805 --> 0:42:43.685
<v Speaker 1>End, party end.

0:42:44.525 --> 0:42:47.365
<v Speaker 3>And then he'll be there like stroking your head with

0:42:47.445 --> 0:42:52.445
<v Speaker 3>a little with your hair net on, and then hopefully

0:42:52.485 --> 0:42:54.725
<v Speaker 3>one of the kind people in the operating theater will

0:42:54.765 --> 0:42:59.045
<v Speaker 3>be filming it for you, also once again omitting the

0:42:59.085 --> 0:43:02.525
<v Speaker 3>parts in which you're cut open like a whale. Yeah,

0:43:02.725 --> 0:43:04.045
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want to see any of those.

0:43:04.565 --> 0:43:05.005
<v Speaker 1>I can't.

0:43:05.605 --> 0:43:07.605
<v Speaker 3>And then they hand you the baby, and then the

0:43:07.685 --> 0:43:11.565
<v Speaker 3>baby is on your chest and then you're like, oh

0:43:11.605 --> 0:43:14.405
<v Speaker 3>my goodness, this is who you were all the time.

0:43:15.645 --> 0:43:18.725
<v Speaker 3>How did I not know it was you.

0:43:18.725 --> 0:43:23.485
<v Speaker 1>You make perfect scenes, don't. Okay, that's all that's going

0:43:23.565 --> 0:43:24.085
<v Speaker 1>to be you.

0:43:25.445 --> 0:43:28.085
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's so bizarre because you go you see them

0:43:28.085 --> 0:43:30.525
<v Speaker 2>as it as an embryo on a screen, you know,

0:43:30.605 --> 0:43:34.485
<v Speaker 2>and they're oh gosh, they're like a pin prick right

0:43:34.725 --> 0:43:35.485
<v Speaker 2>like it's nothing.

0:43:35.565 --> 0:43:36.605
<v Speaker 1>You can't even see it.

0:43:37.165 --> 0:43:40.325
<v Speaker 2>And then all of a sudden it's it's got a heartbeat,

0:43:40.365 --> 0:43:42.885
<v Speaker 2>but it's just a jelly bean. And then it looks

0:43:42.885 --> 0:43:45.405
<v Speaker 2>like a lizard for a couple of months, and then

0:43:45.405 --> 0:43:46.885
<v Speaker 2>it sort of looks like a person.

0:43:47.365 --> 0:43:50.125
<v Speaker 1>What size are you at now? It's the size of

0:43:50.805 --> 0:43:52.885
<v Speaker 1>There was a cant Live Night.

0:43:53.445 --> 0:43:56.245
<v Speaker 2>A Cadbury Easter Bunny. I've gone with the chocolate because

0:43:56.245 --> 0:43:56.445
<v Speaker 2>you can.

0:43:56.725 --> 0:43:58.965
<v Speaker 1>I've got an app where you can pick things like

0:43:59.005 --> 0:44:01.045
<v Speaker 1>do you do fruit? I was like, nah, I'll do

0:44:01.325 --> 0:44:03.045
<v Speaker 1>I'll do the chocolate Cadbury Easter.

0:44:03.205 --> 0:44:06.445
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but what the big buddy are the bunny like

0:44:06.485 --> 0:44:08.005
<v Speaker 2>you know, like the the elegant rabbit.

0:44:08.445 --> 0:44:10.765
<v Speaker 1>No, not the elegant won the bog of money.

0:44:12.485 --> 0:44:17.405
<v Speaker 2>Just like not that that's red Shure sort of thee

0:44:17.445 --> 0:44:18.325
<v Speaker 2>down from that, like.

0:44:18.525 --> 0:44:19.365
<v Speaker 1>The middle side.

0:44:19.405 --> 0:44:22.365
<v Speaker 3>Okay, and you know what you're having? I do I

0:44:22.485 --> 0:44:25.525
<v Speaker 3>do yeah, and are you keeping that under wraps?

0:44:25.845 --> 0:44:26.085
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:44:26.125 --> 0:44:27.405
<v Speaker 2>And I think a lot of it has to do

0:44:27.445 --> 0:44:29.125
<v Speaker 2>with fear. I'm like, what if I say it out

0:44:29.125 --> 0:44:30.365
<v Speaker 2>loud and then they don't come?

0:44:30.605 --> 0:44:31.005
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:44:31.125 --> 0:44:35.925
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's like that strange thing about not not buying

0:44:36.045 --> 0:44:36.965
<v Speaker 3>baby clothes.

0:44:37.765 --> 0:44:40.845
<v Speaker 2>I've not bought anything myself yet, like I have in

0:44:40.885 --> 0:44:44.245
<v Speaker 2>the past, but not currently. We do have a pram

0:44:44.285 --> 0:44:47.165
<v Speaker 2>at home that we were sent, which was like the

0:44:47.205 --> 0:44:49.285
<v Speaker 2>wildest thing. I was like, who sends a pram?

0:44:49.365 --> 0:44:53.045
<v Speaker 1>This is who did send a pram? A company? A company?

0:44:53.165 --> 0:44:55.405
<v Speaker 1>Oh lovely, Yeah, I'll take a what else?

0:44:57.285 --> 0:44:59.685
<v Speaker 2>Yes, a Suzuki? What can I what can I take?

0:45:01.045 --> 0:45:01.285
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:45:01.365 --> 0:45:07.485
<v Speaker 2>Like it's it's it's scary still, it's I'm scared most days.

0:45:08.085 --> 0:45:11.925
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Tan, here's say this to you. Yes, ma'am.

0:45:13.045 --> 0:45:18.885
<v Speaker 3>When you become a parent, you also become the carrier

0:45:19.005 --> 0:45:20.445
<v Speaker 3>of a parcel of fear.

0:45:21.325 --> 0:45:22.965
<v Speaker 1>Oh great, you just do.

0:45:23.285 --> 0:45:27.005
<v Speaker 3>Because there are certain things in the world that when

0:45:27.045 --> 0:45:30.925
<v Speaker 3>it's involving you, you feel that you have some autonomy

0:45:30.965 --> 0:45:33.085
<v Speaker 3>over all, that you can handle it or whatever. But

0:45:33.125 --> 0:45:35.965
<v Speaker 3>when you have a baby, you're putting your little ship

0:45:36.005 --> 0:45:40.325
<v Speaker 3>out to see in the stormiest of waters.

0:45:40.645 --> 0:45:43.125
<v Speaker 1>Whatever you don't know what that little boat is going

0:45:43.165 --> 0:45:43.765
<v Speaker 1>to encounter.

0:45:44.885 --> 0:45:46.725
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know, I see with my friends all

0:45:46.725 --> 0:45:50.005
<v Speaker 2>the time and like kids get bullied and whatever. Can

0:45:50.045 --> 0:45:51.765
<v Speaker 2>you not go down to the school and bash them?

0:45:51.765 --> 0:45:56.085
<v Speaker 1>Like so, well, I have I have done a bit

0:45:56.125 --> 0:45:59.685
<v Speaker 1>of this. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I work.

0:46:00.285 --> 0:46:04.645
<v Speaker 3>But part of it as well is you have to

0:46:04.845 --> 0:46:06.685
<v Speaker 3>have the faith that you had that.

0:46:06.605 --> 0:46:07.765
<v Speaker 1>Has led you to here.

0:46:08.085 --> 0:46:11.445
<v Speaker 3>Yes, one hundred us and most people in the world

0:46:11.485 --> 0:46:12.965
<v Speaker 3>are deserving of that faith.

0:46:13.725 --> 0:46:13.965
<v Speaker 1>Yes.

0:46:14.125 --> 0:46:17.565
<v Speaker 3>And if there's a gift that you can give your

0:46:18.125 --> 0:46:22.685
<v Speaker 3>unborn child, it is to give them that faith and

0:46:22.765 --> 0:46:24.725
<v Speaker 3>instill them with that faith in the world.

0:46:25.365 --> 0:46:28.085
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, someone told me something really interesting. Long story, but

0:46:28.125 --> 0:46:32.325
<v Speaker 2>I randomly played a drug dealer on Bump, the Christmas movie.

0:46:32.565 --> 0:46:36.405
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah right, ah regnant by the way.

0:46:36.405 --> 0:46:42.645
<v Speaker 2>Aha ah, rolling around playing this drug dealer with tats

0:46:42.685 --> 0:46:46.045
<v Speaker 2>on my face like it was actually really iconic. But

0:46:46.125 --> 0:46:49.045
<v Speaker 2>I said to Claudia carbon I was like, do you

0:46:49.045 --> 0:46:51.285
<v Speaker 2>have any advice for me because you have kids? And

0:46:51.325 --> 0:46:54.965
<v Speaker 2>she goes, everything is temporary, and I was like, that

0:46:55.165 --> 0:46:56.565
<v Speaker 2>is excellent.

0:46:56.805 --> 0:46:58.485
<v Speaker 1>Including the tattoos on your face.

0:46:58.925 --> 0:47:05.445
<v Speaker 2>Well one has lasted. It's some serious exfoliation, but yes,

0:47:05.485 --> 0:47:06.885
<v Speaker 2>she said everything's temporary, so.

0:47:06.845 --> 0:47:07.645
<v Speaker 1>Like it will end.

0:47:08.005 --> 0:47:10.885
<v Speaker 2>So once you become great of being a toddler mom, goodbye,

0:47:10.965 --> 0:47:14.205
<v Speaker 2>they're they're at school, and then you you know, it's temporary.

0:47:14.285 --> 0:47:15.325
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, so true.

0:47:15.965 --> 0:47:20.565
<v Speaker 3>When do you think you'll allow yourself the luxury of

0:47:21.925 --> 0:47:25.445
<v Speaker 3>leaning into it and believing that it's going to happen.

0:47:25.485 --> 0:47:28.885
<v Speaker 2>When they cut it out and dangle. Oh, I just

0:47:29.005 --> 0:47:31.445
<v Speaker 2>hope they're okay. I'm just like, are you okay in there?

0:47:31.485 --> 0:47:36.245
<v Speaker 2>Am I eating the right food? But also I mean people,

0:47:37.165 --> 0:47:41.045
<v Speaker 2>oh meth and her Oh, Tanya to tell you?

0:47:41.525 --> 0:47:41.925
<v Speaker 1>Can I tell you?

0:47:41.965 --> 0:47:45.045
<v Speaker 2>I were a fertility specialist way back at the day

0:47:45.085 --> 0:47:47.365
<v Speaker 2>and I said, she goes, now, do you smoke?

0:47:47.685 --> 0:47:48.245
<v Speaker 1>I said no.

0:47:48.405 --> 0:47:50.805
<v Speaker 2>She goes, great, that's really bad for you. Do you

0:47:50.845 --> 0:47:52.405
<v Speaker 2>do any recreation of drugs?

0:47:52.445 --> 0:47:54.405
<v Speaker 1>Meth? What do you any of that? I said no,

0:47:55.645 --> 0:47:57.325
<v Speaker 1>as a recreational.

0:47:56.725 --> 0:47:59.285
<v Speaker 2>Drug, meth And I said no, and she goes, well,

0:47:59.485 --> 0:48:00.845
<v Speaker 2>to be honest, meth isn't the worst.

0:48:01.165 --> 0:48:04.085
<v Speaker 1>You're better to have meth than cigarettes. Oh.

0:48:04.165 --> 0:48:09.085
<v Speaker 3>I was like, imagine, imagine me just casually what like.

0:48:10.805 --> 0:48:13.245
<v Speaker 3>So it's back to the other thing that I think

0:48:14.885 --> 0:48:19.005
<v Speaker 3>is it's a massive industry frightening women. When they're pregnant.

0:48:19.605 --> 0:48:23.045
<v Speaker 3>Oh yes, about what about everything about what you can

0:48:23.085 --> 0:48:25.525
<v Speaker 3>eat and what you blah blah and you. Oh, and

0:48:25.565 --> 0:48:28.165
<v Speaker 3>there's too much information out there the world. There is,

0:48:28.885 --> 0:48:31.685
<v Speaker 3>and it's a list that they're like always adding to.

0:48:32.565 --> 0:48:33.045
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:48:33.445 --> 0:48:36.245
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but once again, I go seven billion people in

0:48:36.325 --> 0:48:40.445
<v Speaker 3>the world, and there's a lot of soft cheeses that

0:48:40.485 --> 0:48:41.485
<v Speaker 3>have been eaten.

0:48:41.765 --> 0:48:46.285
<v Speaker 2>Right, yes, the I because I've had such a crazy road,

0:48:46.365 --> 0:48:48.925
<v Speaker 2>I refuse to eat anything bad. I'm like, I will

0:48:48.965 --> 0:48:51.205
<v Speaker 2>not eat the soft jeep, I won't eat ruddy eggs,

0:48:51.245 --> 0:48:54.645
<v Speaker 2>I won't eat ham in saying that the day this

0:48:54.725 --> 0:48:56.245
<v Speaker 2>kid comes out of me, I am going to be

0:48:56.965 --> 0:49:02.285
<v Speaker 2>hit hard with some botox, retinol, every kind of.

0:49:02.245 --> 0:49:06.965
<v Speaker 1>Alcohol, and a drive through Maca's meal.

0:49:07.365 --> 0:49:09.765
<v Speaker 2>Oh god, I love McDonald's so much.

0:49:10.045 --> 0:49:11.445
<v Speaker 1>I never loved it more.

0:49:11.965 --> 0:49:14.525
<v Speaker 3>I guarantee no matter where you have the baby, there'll

0:49:14.525 --> 0:49:15.845
<v Speaker 3>be a McDonald's nearby.

0:49:16.285 --> 0:49:18.325
<v Speaker 1>It's the rule of hospitals, I hope.

0:49:18.325 --> 0:49:21.925
<v Speaker 2>So actually that is true. You know what's been really nice? Okay,

0:49:22.085 --> 0:49:24.285
<v Speaker 2>Like where I go to the pharmacy. I used to

0:49:24.325 --> 0:49:27.125
<v Speaker 2>go get all my fertility meds, right, and then I

0:49:27.165 --> 0:49:29.965
<v Speaker 2>went to get all my end demetrios surgery, you know,

0:49:30.125 --> 0:49:33.245
<v Speaker 2>my painkillers, and then I went to go get my

0:49:34.205 --> 0:49:36.245
<v Speaker 2>it was all off. So they know that I'm pregnant

0:49:36.245 --> 0:49:39.725
<v Speaker 2>before anybody else. And the women in the pharmacy are

0:49:39.725 --> 0:49:42.045
<v Speaker 2>just so beautiful and they all got together.

0:49:41.725 --> 0:49:44.325
<v Speaker 1>And they're like, we know, oh my god, you.

0:49:44.285 --> 0:49:47.845
<v Speaker 2>Know all the nurses that saw me for my endo

0:49:47.965 --> 0:49:50.365
<v Speaker 2>surgery and every like both of them, and you know,

0:49:50.405 --> 0:49:53.485
<v Speaker 2>it's so lovely how how much love I've been shown

0:49:53.845 --> 0:49:55.925
<v Speaker 2>and how much support I've been shown.

0:49:56.525 --> 0:49:57.765
<v Speaker 1>And I feel.

0:49:58.925 --> 0:50:02.565
<v Speaker 2>So like grateful for people giving a shit about this story,

0:50:03.085 --> 0:50:06.085
<v Speaker 2>to be honest, Like when I shared it, I thought

0:50:06.085 --> 0:50:08.005
<v Speaker 2>it was going to be like twenty minutes later I

0:50:08.005 --> 0:50:09.165
<v Speaker 2>was gonna have a baby. I thought i'd have a

0:50:09.205 --> 0:50:12.085
<v Speaker 2>far year old by now, the whole story just kind

0:50:12.085 --> 0:50:14.685
<v Speaker 2>of I really didn't see it lasting this long.

0:50:15.205 --> 0:50:19.005
<v Speaker 3>But you know why, because you have invited people in

0:50:20.325 --> 0:50:25.005
<v Speaker 3>and it resonates with you know, it's a universal desire.

0:50:25.245 --> 0:50:25.645
<v Speaker 1>True.

0:50:25.885 --> 0:50:30.405
<v Speaker 3>Without the desire to have children, that's the end of us.

0:50:32.325 --> 0:50:36.565
<v Speaker 3>And it's particularly unusual for someone who has a profile

0:50:37.765 --> 0:50:45.845
<v Speaker 3>to share so openly, yeah, their pain. And it's also

0:50:45.925 --> 0:50:49.645
<v Speaker 3>because you hold a place of affection in people's hearts

0:50:49.685 --> 0:50:51.525
<v Speaker 3>because of your comedic work.

0:50:52.565 --> 0:50:58.085
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, maybe people are just so lovely and I'm constantly

0:50:58.165 --> 0:51:01.365
<v Speaker 2>shocked at how many people care, like even just like

0:51:01.405 --> 0:51:03.085
<v Speaker 2>we go for walks and people stop.

0:51:02.925 --> 0:51:03.605
<v Speaker 1>Us on walks.

0:51:03.805 --> 0:51:06.125
<v Speaker 2>I guess the thing is, sometimes I'm very confused as

0:51:06.165 --> 0:51:08.045
<v Speaker 2>to how many people know who I am o K.

0:51:08.165 --> 0:51:10.765
<v Speaker 2>Because I just like make social media contact by myself.

0:51:10.765 --> 0:51:12.245
<v Speaker 2>You do radio by yourself.

0:51:11.965 --> 0:51:13.565
<v Speaker 1>Sort of thing. You know, it's very like, you know,

0:51:13.605 --> 0:51:14.965
<v Speaker 1>and then all of a sudden people know who you're on.

0:51:15.005 --> 0:51:17.685
<v Speaker 2>You're like, oh, okay, whoops, sorry, I forget.

0:51:18.005 --> 0:51:22.485
<v Speaker 3>And why are you surprised that people are so loving

0:51:22.565 --> 0:51:23.245
<v Speaker 3>towards you?

0:51:24.005 --> 0:51:25.965
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I just didn't think people would kind of care

0:51:26.205 --> 0:51:28.365
<v Speaker 2>like for people like thumbs up, move on. You know,

0:51:28.445 --> 0:51:31.165
<v Speaker 2>it's so lovely that people hold space for you. In

0:51:31.205 --> 0:51:34.245
<v Speaker 2>a world where time is a commodity, caring is like

0:51:34.285 --> 0:51:36.685
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean, Caring is hard for when

0:51:37.085 --> 0:51:39.005
<v Speaker 2>you know we've got no time in space for anyone

0:51:39.085 --> 0:51:41.405
<v Speaker 2>or anything other than ourselves. Often, you know, because life

0:51:41.485 --> 0:51:43.365
<v Speaker 2>is hard and stressful, and so the fact that someone

0:51:43.365 --> 0:51:46.005
<v Speaker 2>could remember my name and remember that I went through

0:51:46.045 --> 0:51:48.805
<v Speaker 2>a struggle then can remember that I got.

0:51:48.645 --> 0:51:50.845
<v Speaker 1>It to work is kind of amazing in this day

0:51:50.885 --> 0:51:53.645
<v Speaker 1>and age. It really is. But also because life is

0:51:53.685 --> 0:51:57.245
<v Speaker 1>hard and stressful, that's why you need a baby.

0:51:57.765 --> 0:52:02.325
<v Speaker 3>So true, that is just the that is the It's

0:52:02.445 --> 0:52:03.725
<v Speaker 3>like looking into a fire.

0:52:04.445 --> 0:52:06.685
<v Speaker 2>Do you miss your babies? Like, do you miss your

0:52:06.725 --> 0:52:07.525
<v Speaker 2>kids as babies?

0:52:08.565 --> 0:52:14.205
<v Speaker 3>Ah, I'm not very nostalgic, and I don't know if

0:52:15.285 --> 0:52:21.085
<v Speaker 3>that is because one of my children nearly died, so

0:52:21.205 --> 0:52:24.525
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if it's because of that that I'm

0:52:24.565 --> 0:52:30.965
<v Speaker 3>not particularly Yeah, but I was outside a primary school

0:52:31.005 --> 0:52:34.005
<v Speaker 3>the other day and I went, oh, do I miss

0:52:34.325 --> 0:52:40.285
<v Speaker 3>that aspects of it? I do, I think, But also

0:52:40.605 --> 0:52:43.205
<v Speaker 3>I'm really glad I don't have to do school pickup.

0:52:43.245 --> 0:52:45.725
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. But I don't want to put you off.

0:52:46.245 --> 0:52:51.125
<v Speaker 1>School's great schools. It's not at all like you're going

0:52:51.165 --> 0:52:52.805
<v Speaker 1>back to school. Girl.

0:52:53.005 --> 0:52:55.165
<v Speaker 2>I'm so bad at mouth and stuff like that. I

0:52:55.205 --> 0:52:57.405
<v Speaker 2>don't know what I'm going to do in saying that.

0:52:57.485 --> 0:52:59.725
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm going to go really narcissistic foot boo

0:52:59.765 --> 0:53:01.925
<v Speaker 2>quick because I've written kids books. There's no way my

0:53:02.045 --> 0:53:04.965
<v Speaker 2>kid is not going as Pink Santa. I am going

0:53:05.045 --> 0:53:07.525
<v Speaker 2>to use my child. There's a little bit of marketing there.

0:53:07.605 --> 0:53:08.885
<v Speaker 2>Got Pinky's to coming out.

0:53:10.245 --> 0:53:10.685
<v Speaker 1>In Easter.

0:53:11.045 --> 0:53:14.685
<v Speaker 3>Well, you know the child is an extinsion of you

0:53:15.045 --> 0:53:18.325
<v Speaker 3>and an extension of Tom. So the child is going

0:53:18.365 --> 0:53:24.925
<v Speaker 3>to be more Tom's.

0:53:22.125 --> 0:53:23.085
<v Speaker 1>Such a lovely man.

0:53:23.125 --> 0:53:25.165
<v Speaker 2>God, I hope they more Tom than me.

0:53:25.605 --> 0:53:28.325
<v Speaker 3>Well, how is he, by the way, when you told him?

0:53:28.965 --> 0:53:31.325
<v Speaker 3>And when did you tell him? Was he with you?

0:53:31.525 --> 0:53:34.925
<v Speaker 1>Well? Am? I bled on Easter?

0:53:35.485 --> 0:53:37.605
<v Speaker 2>And so I was like that was four days or

0:53:37.605 --> 0:53:40.325
<v Speaker 2>five days after the transfers wile I was like, it's chemical,

0:53:40.405 --> 0:53:45.325
<v Speaker 2>it's not worked again. And then we called the ivy

0:53:45.365 --> 0:53:49.325
<v Speaker 2>F clinic went in for bloods HGG levels rising and

0:53:49.325 --> 0:53:52.485
<v Speaker 2>they were like, no, it's actually very positive. Your hCG

0:53:52.565 --> 0:53:56.205
<v Speaker 2>is almost twins. It's really high. So the blood is nothing,

0:53:56.245 --> 0:53:59.205
<v Speaker 2>don't worry about it. And so I think people do

0:53:59.285 --> 0:54:01.645
<v Speaker 2>expect this moment where you tell them, but it's more

0:54:01.685 --> 0:54:07.205
<v Speaker 2>like like a clock, it's just slowly ticking. And so

0:54:07.365 --> 0:54:09.565
<v Speaker 2>with my mom and my siblings and stuff like that,

0:54:09.605 --> 0:54:13.045
<v Speaker 2>there's no moment because they were there. They were there

0:54:13.045 --> 0:54:15.405
<v Speaker 2>when I bled, and so I was like, okay, so

0:54:15.445 --> 0:54:17.965
<v Speaker 2>it's positive, but we're not sure and no one, No

0:54:17.965 --> 0:54:21.725
<v Speaker 2>one goes WHOA because it's six seven days. So it

0:54:21.765 --> 0:54:24.285
<v Speaker 2>is It is definitely different to a traditional pregnancy. And

0:54:24.285 --> 0:54:27.605
<v Speaker 2>when I see people do these big announcement videos. I'm like, oh,

0:54:27.605 --> 0:54:29.765
<v Speaker 2>I'm so kind of jealous in a way, but I

0:54:29.805 --> 0:54:32.165
<v Speaker 2>would never take back my experience because what I have

0:54:32.245 --> 0:54:37.685
<v Speaker 2>is so great. But it's definitely different to that reveal

0:54:37.845 --> 0:54:39.725
<v Speaker 2>or like when he comes home with a pregnancy test

0:54:39.805 --> 0:54:42.685
<v Speaker 2>it's positive, Like I more tested, So once I found out,

0:54:42.725 --> 0:54:45.325
<v Speaker 2>I probably went through like seventy pregnancy tests because I

0:54:45.365 --> 0:54:49.445
<v Speaker 2>would test three or four and if the line got lighter,

0:54:49.485 --> 0:54:54.525
<v Speaker 2>i'd have a yeah. Like so I'm just like, please stay,

0:54:54.925 --> 0:54:58.165
<v Speaker 2>please stay with me. And they come to me sometimes

0:54:58.685 --> 0:55:01.645
<v Speaker 2>in a like acupuncture and stuff like that. I don't

0:55:01.645 --> 0:55:03.845
<v Speaker 2>have to do that much anymore, and I still do

0:55:03.885 --> 0:55:06.245
<v Speaker 2>it for stress relief, but I'm asking.

0:55:05.965 --> 0:55:08.765
<v Speaker 1>What is your name? What is your name?

0:55:08.965 --> 0:55:11.885
<v Speaker 2>Did you know your kids' names? Do they present them

0:55:11.885 --> 0:55:12.205
<v Speaker 2>to you?

0:55:12.445 --> 0:55:17.285
<v Speaker 3>Or I think by number three, we were having trouble. Yeah,

0:55:17.285 --> 0:55:21.005
<v Speaker 3>and because they came quite rapidly. Yeah, it was the

0:55:21.085 --> 0:55:23.405
<v Speaker 3>same thing, I think. And because I had my babies

0:55:23.485 --> 0:55:27.285
<v Speaker 3>quite late, and you know, you hear so much about

0:55:27.325 --> 0:55:32.445
<v Speaker 3>declining fertility or whatever, we just weren't prepared that when

0:55:32.445 --> 0:55:37.445
<v Speaker 3>you open the damn wall, what can be waiting behind there.

0:55:37.605 --> 0:55:42.045
<v Speaker 3>So by number three, we had trouble, but Lewis Lewis

0:55:42.125 --> 0:55:47.525
<v Speaker 3>was self evident. Yes, fierce Sunday Lewis. We knew because

0:55:47.605 --> 0:55:50.725
<v Speaker 3>Sunday would have been Lewis's name. If Sunday was if

0:55:50.845 --> 0:55:54.845
<v Speaker 3>Lewis was a girl, then we had Artie Honore Lewis,

0:55:54.885 --> 0:55:57.805
<v Speaker 3>who's number three, and then Yarny after my dad.

0:55:58.125 --> 0:55:58.445
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:55:58.565 --> 0:56:03.125
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, are you doing family names or well?

0:56:03.285 --> 0:56:05.965
<v Speaker 2>See, I quite like I was saying this is to

0:56:05.965 --> 0:56:08.205
<v Speaker 2>your fair. I quite like Hennessy, which is my last

0:56:08.285 --> 0:56:08.605
<v Speaker 2>name as.

0:56:08.525 --> 0:56:10.725
<v Speaker 1>A fair, which is a beautiful name. Girl. Is it

0:56:10.765 --> 0:56:13.205
<v Speaker 1>not Nasa? So like, I feel like I'm so up

0:56:13.525 --> 0:56:17.365
<v Speaker 1>why I feel like people be like, there's Azili.

0:56:17.165 --> 0:56:20.965
<v Speaker 3>Nay, but but you know what, people smile true like

0:56:21.205 --> 0:56:26.045
<v Speaker 3>really although would it be it wouldn't be Hennessy Hennessy, No, but.

0:56:26.045 --> 0:56:29.525
<v Speaker 2>That would be kind of fierce Very Lewis Lewis.

0:56:29.205 --> 0:56:30.925
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, very Lewis Lewis.

0:56:31.285 --> 0:56:35.565
<v Speaker 3>I love it so good you named her him.

0:56:36.205 --> 0:56:38.365
<v Speaker 2>It's just people must be like, is it a non

0:56:38.365 --> 0:56:39.605
<v Speaker 2>binary baby?

0:56:40.365 --> 0:56:40.725
<v Speaker 1>It's not.

0:56:40.885 --> 0:56:43.525
<v Speaker 2>It's just easier way for me to communicate it because

0:56:43.925 --> 0:56:45.765
<v Speaker 2>I want to say the gender is so bad, but

0:56:45.805 --> 0:56:47.525
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to muck myself up.

0:56:48.045 --> 0:56:51.125
<v Speaker 3>No, don't and I won't make you. What have you

0:56:51.205 --> 0:56:55.525
<v Speaker 3>learnt about yourself? Do you think that's surprised you.

0:56:56.405 --> 0:56:58.885
<v Speaker 2>I've always thought I was resilient, and now I know

0:56:59.045 --> 0:57:03.405
<v Speaker 2>I'm resilient. I think that I've been in parenting boot

0:57:03.405 --> 0:57:07.125
<v Speaker 2>camp since I decided that I, well, we decided we

0:57:07.165 --> 0:57:08.765
<v Speaker 2>want to have kids, which was seven years ago. So

0:57:08.805 --> 0:57:11.565
<v Speaker 2>I feel like, if there's one thing I've learned, it's patience,

0:57:12.325 --> 0:57:15.965
<v Speaker 2>which I've always struggled with as somebody who does content

0:57:16.125 --> 0:57:20.045
<v Speaker 2>and creation immediac with immediacy, so patience is something I

0:57:20.085 --> 0:57:23.645
<v Speaker 2>really struggle with, which is why I have not done

0:57:23.885 --> 0:57:27.005
<v Speaker 2>film or television because it's very long and it's very annoying.

0:57:28.045 --> 0:57:36.125
<v Speaker 2>But I've learned patience. I've also learned more better boundaries.

0:57:37.165 --> 0:57:38.725
<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you the second I got pregnant, I feel

0:57:38.765 --> 0:57:41.445
<v Speaker 2>like my boundaries and people pleasing shifted.

0:57:41.125 --> 0:57:43.645
<v Speaker 1>Hard how well.

0:57:43.685 --> 0:57:45.925
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I no longer can just like listen

0:57:45.965 --> 0:57:48.485
<v Speaker 2>to people say things that aren't true and just not

0:57:48.565 --> 0:57:52.045
<v Speaker 2>along because it's easier. I was like, no, IVE got

0:57:52.085 --> 0:57:53.805
<v Speaker 2>to stand up for myself because I want my kids

0:57:53.845 --> 0:57:56.485
<v Speaker 2>to stand up for themselves and not just keep bowing

0:57:56.525 --> 0:57:59.565
<v Speaker 2>over to people and people pleasing and just agreeing to

0:57:59.645 --> 0:58:03.085
<v Speaker 2>be you know what I mean. And I think the

0:58:03.125 --> 0:58:07.405
<v Speaker 2>other thing I learned is that even before you become

0:58:07.445 --> 0:58:11.485
<v Speaker 2>a parent, you need a community. Like it takes a

0:58:11.565 --> 0:58:15.565
<v Speaker 2>village to raise a mother. Mmm, it takes a village

0:58:15.605 --> 0:58:17.005
<v Speaker 2>to raise a child, but it takes a village to

0:58:17.045 --> 0:58:19.765
<v Speaker 2>raise a more. And I feel like I've grown up

0:58:19.765 --> 0:58:22.365
<v Speaker 2>a lot. Sometimes I didn't want to grow up, but

0:58:22.445 --> 0:58:22.765
<v Speaker 2>I did.

0:58:23.485 --> 0:58:24.005
<v Speaker 1>I wish it.

0:58:24.485 --> 0:58:26.205
<v Speaker 2>I wish I didn't have to go through this experience.

0:58:26.245 --> 0:58:28.445
<v Speaker 2>I wish most people didn't have to go through this.

0:58:28.525 --> 0:58:32.005
<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's a very lonely agony.

0:58:33.605 --> 0:58:35.645
<v Speaker 2>It's also really annoying just having to go to the

0:58:35.685 --> 0:58:37.885
<v Speaker 2>IVF clinically it's six days a week.

0:58:39.325 --> 0:58:39.965
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:58:40.005 --> 0:58:42.125
<v Speaker 3>And you know the faith that you were talking about before,

0:58:42.965 --> 0:58:46.245
<v Speaker 3>at the very least you would think that you can

0:58:46.285 --> 0:58:49.405
<v Speaker 3>have faith in your body and you don't have that.

0:58:50.245 --> 0:58:52.725
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And that's a terrible thing.

0:58:53.965 --> 0:58:56.565
<v Speaker 2>And just nothing is promised, you know, nothing is promised.

0:58:56.565 --> 0:58:59.285
<v Speaker 2>You grow up. First time I had sex, Kate, I

0:58:59.325 --> 0:59:01.445
<v Speaker 2>made my boyfriend at the time wear two condoms because

0:59:01.725 --> 0:59:04.325
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I will not be a teen mother.

0:59:04.965 --> 0:59:07.245
<v Speaker 1>Girl. That didn't matter. I would not have been a

0:59:07.245 --> 0:59:09.285
<v Speaker 1>teen mother. I could have slept around a lot.

0:59:10.765 --> 0:59:12.765
<v Speaker 2>But you know, you don't know that, and you but

0:59:12.965 --> 0:59:15.885
<v Speaker 2>the narrative where sold is don't have sex because you'll

0:59:15.885 --> 0:59:18.725
<v Speaker 2>get pregnant, and so you go, I will have children.

0:59:18.925 --> 0:59:20.085
<v Speaker 1>I will have children.

0:59:21.205 --> 0:59:23.885
<v Speaker 2>So then it's very shocking to find out that you

0:59:24.205 --> 0:59:27.965
<v Speaker 2>potentially won't because you think it's going to be your choice.

0:59:28.685 --> 0:59:31.765
<v Speaker 1>But guess what I know, say it.

0:59:32.485 --> 0:59:36.445
<v Speaker 2>I will be having a baby. Christmas will be a

0:59:36.565 --> 0:59:39.205
<v Speaker 2>rough money Christmas. I hope it comes I hope it

0:59:39.205 --> 0:59:40.805
<v Speaker 2>comes from so I can have.

0:59:40.765 --> 0:59:44.005
<v Speaker 3>Had Oh my god, you're all twisted up like a pretzel,

0:59:44.085 --> 0:59:46.045
<v Speaker 3>and yet you're as loose as a goose.

0:59:47.165 --> 0:59:51.845
<v Speaker 1>You are exactly as you should be. Do you reckon? Yeah? Yeah,

0:59:52.325 --> 0:59:56.165
<v Speaker 1>this is it. Welcome to not knowing anything.

0:59:56.885 --> 0:59:59.285
<v Speaker 2>I mean I've never known anything, so now I feel

0:59:59.405 --> 1:00:00.565
<v Speaker 2>very very comfortable.

1:00:00.765 --> 1:00:05.445
<v Speaker 3>Hey, what will you whisper to the baby when you

1:00:05.525 --> 1:00:06.365
<v Speaker 3>meet the baby?

1:00:06.725 --> 1:00:08.845
<v Speaker 1>I have a song? What's the song?

1:00:09.645 --> 1:00:09.925
<v Speaker 2>Do you know?

1:00:10.085 --> 1:00:11.445
<v Speaker 1>Smile by Michael Jackson.

1:00:12.405 --> 1:00:14.165
<v Speaker 5>See your heart is great?

1:00:14.325 --> 1:00:16.725
<v Speaker 1>Yes, oh smile even though it's.

1:00:16.565 --> 1:00:22.325
<v Speaker 5>Breaking, Oh too, when there's a tune that on, there's

1:00:22.365 --> 1:00:26.765
<v Speaker 5>a time you must keep on trying smile.

1:00:27.165 --> 1:00:32.445
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, beautiful of that song. Oh that's a beautiful song.

1:00:33.725 --> 1:00:36.165
<v Speaker 1>You've made me crying.

1:00:36.325 --> 1:00:41.085
<v Speaker 3>You're like you're desiccated, like a ain't nothing coming out

1:00:41.085 --> 1:00:41.365
<v Speaker 3>of here.

1:00:44.245 --> 1:00:47.805
<v Speaker 1>I feel bad for you.

1:00:48.005 --> 1:00:51.325
<v Speaker 2>I would say, I would say I've waited my whole

1:00:51.365 --> 1:00:54.365
<v Speaker 2>life to me because I have. I really have waited

1:00:54.365 --> 1:00:59.925
<v Speaker 2>my whole life to meet to meet them. And I

1:00:59.925 --> 1:01:04.365
<v Speaker 2>I'm actually like counting the weeks because people count, you know, like, oh,

1:01:04.405 --> 1:01:08.165
<v Speaker 2>I'm twenty two weeks, I'm nineteen weeks till i can

1:01:08.245 --> 1:01:08.805
<v Speaker 2>meet them.

1:01:09.325 --> 1:01:13.205
<v Speaker 1>The other way because I've already waited so long. This

1:01:13.285 --> 1:01:16.765
<v Speaker 1>is my eighth year, you know. And I'm like yeah,

1:01:17.325 --> 1:01:20.485
<v Speaker 1>because it's I'm like, hurry up. I want to meet you.

1:01:21.005 --> 1:01:22.245
<v Speaker 1>I want to take you to Disney.

1:01:22.245 --> 1:01:29.325
<v Speaker 3>Wow, Tanya Hennessy, you will be in motherhood as you

1:01:29.365 --> 1:01:33.765
<v Speaker 3>are in life, maniac, a maniac full of joy.

1:01:35.165 --> 1:01:37.165
<v Speaker 1>It might be a bit stressed. Next time you see me,

1:01:37.485 --> 1:01:39.965
<v Speaker 1>I might look older and grayer. I don't think so.

1:01:41.005 --> 1:01:44.685
<v Speaker 1>I think it's having kids keeps you young until it

1:01:44.765 --> 1:01:45.165
<v Speaker 1>kills you.

1:01:46.085 --> 1:01:53.405
<v Speaker 2>Great positive parenting, Yeah, well, I think I don't know

1:01:53.405 --> 1:01:53.885
<v Speaker 2>about that.

1:01:54.005 --> 1:01:57.605
<v Speaker 1>To be honest, I'm a fan of discipline. Oh me too.

1:01:58.685 --> 1:02:00.685
<v Speaker 2>I'm also going to make my kids watch care Bears

1:02:00.805 --> 1:02:03.245
<v Speaker 2>or kid like, I'm going to make him watch eighties

1:02:03.245 --> 1:02:05.845
<v Speaker 2>staff you will be watching the Land before time?

1:02:07.485 --> 1:02:11.245
<v Speaker 1>Why wouldn't they got the news shows? Not if you

1:02:11.325 --> 1:02:13.725
<v Speaker 1>cut off the wi fi? So true?

1:02:14.045 --> 1:02:15.925
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, so weird. The WiFi is down. All

1:02:15.965 --> 1:02:19.405
<v Speaker 2>you can watch is moms tiktoks.

1:02:21.085 --> 1:02:21.405
<v Speaker 3>Oh.

1:02:21.445 --> 1:02:24.525
<v Speaker 1>I wish you every joy, thank you so much.

1:02:24.645 --> 1:02:30.605
<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm hoping that my my my tears come if

1:02:30.645 --> 1:02:33.205
<v Speaker 2>I'm honest with you, because it feels like I'm a

1:02:33.205 --> 1:02:34.845
<v Speaker 2>bit blocked and it hurts.

1:02:35.325 --> 1:02:38.645
<v Speaker 1>It hurts to not be able to cry. Don't come.

1:02:39.005 --> 1:02:42.125
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I put my eyes up to the hair conditioning

1:02:42.645 --> 1:02:44.205
<v Speaker 2>just to try and make myself cry.

1:02:44.965 --> 1:02:49.885
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't work. What about when you're watching emotional things? No,

1:02:49.965 --> 1:02:52.445
<v Speaker 1>I can't cry in therapy. I can't cry anywhere. Really,

1:02:52.605 --> 1:02:55.885
<v Speaker 1>everyone found out the gender couldn't cry really.

1:02:56.965 --> 1:02:59.165
<v Speaker 2>Okay, And I'm very connected to my feelings, so I

1:02:59.245 --> 1:03:04.325
<v Speaker 2>don't know what it's. It's a self protection on another level. Yes, okay, good,

1:03:04.805 --> 1:03:06.805
<v Speaker 2>But Liz, I'm telling you that list. I'm telling you

1:03:06.885 --> 1:03:10.125
<v Speaker 2>that it's like I'm aware that it's it's happening. I'm

1:03:10.125 --> 1:03:12.885
<v Speaker 2>not just some stoic asshole. You are a bit stoic though,

1:03:13.205 --> 1:03:13.925
<v Speaker 2>Oh you reckon.

1:03:14.245 --> 1:03:18.165
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. I love the stoics. Do you

1:03:19.045 --> 1:03:21.005
<v Speaker 3>not normally stoic? It's just respects them.

1:03:21.165 --> 1:03:22.085
<v Speaker 1>It's this point.

1:03:22.205 --> 1:03:24.165
<v Speaker 2>But you look at what you've done for eight years,

1:03:24.285 --> 1:03:27.325
<v Speaker 2>you're a stoic. Do you reagon that you are as well?

1:03:27.365 --> 1:03:29.845
<v Speaker 1>In a way? Yes, I definitely am the Dutch.

1:03:30.405 --> 1:03:34.005
<v Speaker 2>You know, you're so grounded. You're way more grounded than

1:03:34.045 --> 1:03:34.925
<v Speaker 2>I have ever been.

1:03:35.125 --> 1:03:42.005
<v Speaker 3>It's my heavy wooden shoes. Sorry, in a strange what's

1:03:42.005 --> 1:03:49.125
<v Speaker 3>that expression? Synergy? You met Breathe, the producer of No Filter,

1:03:49.925 --> 1:03:54.325
<v Speaker 3>on a Disney cruise earlier this year. Yeah, and she

1:03:54.565 --> 1:03:58.285
<v Speaker 3>had taken her niece and nephew.

1:03:59.005 --> 1:04:02.565
<v Speaker 1>I think, oh my god, that's so cute. The nephew.

1:04:03.325 --> 1:04:04.725
<v Speaker 2>The reason that we spoke to each other because the

1:04:04.765 --> 1:04:07.765
<v Speaker 2>nephew was being sousey and like he was like, guess

1:04:07.765 --> 1:04:09.885
<v Speaker 2>who I saw Louis and I, oh my god.

1:04:09.845 --> 1:04:11.965
<v Speaker 1>This kid is cool. Yeah, you're like a sassy kid.

1:04:13.325 --> 1:04:14.245
<v Speaker 1>Is this boy yours?

1:04:14.325 --> 1:04:16.285
<v Speaker 2>And she was like, no, it's my nephew, And I

1:04:16.285 --> 1:04:19.205
<v Speaker 2>was like this kid. I love their energy. I love

1:04:19.285 --> 1:04:20.685
<v Speaker 2>kids like that, you know, who just walk up to

1:04:20.685 --> 1:04:22.285
<v Speaker 2>a stranger and tell them some random fact.

1:04:22.725 --> 1:04:25.125
<v Speaker 3>But at that point. So that was January. You're on

1:04:25.165 --> 1:04:28.925
<v Speaker 3>a Disney cruise, which is for kids kids.

1:04:29.365 --> 1:04:32.325
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and five days earlier, I just had an endo surgery,

1:04:32.365 --> 1:04:35.565
<v Speaker 2>so I was in a bit of pain and on

1:04:36.405 --> 1:04:39.485
<v Speaker 2>end don't But the thing is everywhere is full of children,

1:04:39.965 --> 1:04:43.045
<v Speaker 2>and it's hard because you're like, I wish I could

1:04:43.085 --> 1:04:45.085
<v Speaker 2>have this, and I want this, and you see all

1:04:45.085 --> 1:04:47.645
<v Speaker 2>the parents at the pool and like looking up them

1:04:47.685 --> 1:04:49.725
<v Speaker 2>and they're getting them ice cream, and like someone like

1:04:49.845 --> 1:04:52.445
<v Speaker 2>Disney Cruise, it's like these kids are having the best time.

1:04:52.605 --> 1:04:55.205
<v Speaker 2>It's not just a fun time, it's like the ultimate life.

1:04:55.325 --> 1:04:56.925
<v Speaker 2>And you go, that's why I want to give my

1:04:57.045 --> 1:04:59.845
<v Speaker 2>kid this so bad. So an experience like that makes

1:04:59.885 --> 1:05:03.605
<v Speaker 2>me well. It made me like, I'm going to take

1:05:03.645 --> 1:05:06.125
<v Speaker 2>these bloody intra lipids and I'm going to time everything

1:05:06.205 --> 1:05:09.965
<v Speaker 2>perfect perfectly to make sure that this one stuck as

1:05:10.045 --> 1:05:12.285
<v Speaker 2>much as I could. That was did you have a

1:05:12.325 --> 1:05:18.965
<v Speaker 2>sense that yes, for sure, yes, I've done everything right.

1:05:19.045 --> 1:05:21.605
<v Speaker 2>I took off all this time. I lost fifty three

1:05:21.725 --> 1:05:26.325
<v Speaker 2>kilos so and that was an inflammatory thing on.

1:05:26.325 --> 1:05:28.285
<v Speaker 1>Top of the end of what a response.

1:05:28.525 --> 1:05:32.805
<v Speaker 3>Was that a response to the drugs or yes, that's

1:05:32.845 --> 1:05:35.805
<v Speaker 3>a lot, that's a person fifty three kilos.

1:05:35.925 --> 1:05:38.565
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, I look, you lost a person and gained

1:05:38.565 --> 1:05:40.125
<v Speaker 1>a person. Oh my god, I did too.

1:05:42.245 --> 1:05:45.245
<v Speaker 2>So I timed the endometrios surgery and I was like, buggert,

1:05:45.245 --> 1:05:47.445
<v Speaker 2>I will be going on a Disney cruise. And then

1:05:47.685 --> 1:05:51.765
<v Speaker 2>I timed we embryo banked at the end of last

1:05:51.845 --> 1:05:54.925
<v Speaker 2>year so it would be a fresh transfer, a frozen transfer,

1:05:55.165 --> 1:05:57.205
<v Speaker 2>which is better for endometrios. So I did a lot

1:05:57.205 --> 1:05:59.965
<v Speaker 2>of research and then I did the BONDI or the

1:06:00.085 --> 1:06:01.965
<v Speaker 2>protocol on top of it. So it was like I

1:06:02.285 --> 1:06:06.445
<v Speaker 2>just was like, this will work. And I changed my mindset.

1:06:06.485 --> 1:06:07.965
<v Speaker 2>And I'm not saying that that works for everybody.

1:06:08.125 --> 1:06:09.245
<v Speaker 1>Yeah my mind right.

1:06:09.365 --> 1:06:11.525
<v Speaker 2>I had to go, how's it going to look when

1:06:11.525 --> 1:06:13.925
<v Speaker 2>I put them to bed? How's it going to look

1:06:14.205 --> 1:06:16.605
<v Speaker 2>when they're you know, when I'm holding them? How am

1:06:16.685 --> 1:06:19.125
<v Speaker 2>I going to swaddle them? How am I going to

1:06:20.085 --> 1:06:22.205
<v Speaker 2>breast or bottle feed? And when I really started to

1:06:22.245 --> 1:06:25.925
<v Speaker 2>imagine it, that's what I think changed for me.

1:06:26.325 --> 1:06:28.165
<v Speaker 1>How is it going to look when you put them

1:06:28.165 --> 1:06:28.525
<v Speaker 1>to bed?

1:06:28.805 --> 1:06:30.725
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to have them next to me in have

1:06:30.805 --> 1:06:33.805
<v Speaker 2>you seen those those cribs that sort of like lay

1:06:33.845 --> 1:06:35.525
<v Speaker 2>next and you can put them up and down, and

1:06:35.565 --> 1:06:37.085
<v Speaker 2>I just was like, oh, I'm going to put them

1:06:37.125 --> 1:06:40.325
<v Speaker 2>to bed and I'll sing to them. You know, it's

1:06:40.325 --> 1:06:42.845
<v Speaker 2>an audience of one, and they have to enjoy that.

1:06:42.845 --> 1:06:44.085
<v Speaker 1>They can't run.

1:06:45.525 --> 1:06:48.685
<v Speaker 2>You will enjoy the High School musical two soundtracks sung

1:06:48.725 --> 1:06:52.965
<v Speaker 2>by me, And you know that was really and just

1:06:53.005 --> 1:06:56.165
<v Speaker 2>watching them go to sleep and their little face and

1:06:56.245 --> 1:07:00.205
<v Speaker 2>just imagining that really crystallized in my mind. And then

1:07:00.245 --> 1:07:02.685
<v Speaker 2>I was doing a lot kinesiology where you ask the

1:07:02.725 --> 1:07:03.245
<v Speaker 2>baby to.

1:07:03.205 --> 1:07:05.245
<v Speaker 1>Come to you. Ah.

1:07:05.365 --> 1:07:07.725
<v Speaker 2>The lady said when I did kinesiology this last time,

1:07:07.805 --> 1:07:10.285
<v Speaker 2>which was two weeks before the transfer, She's like, you

1:07:10.565 --> 1:07:13.485
<v Speaker 2>don't need any help because you've done it all the work.

1:07:13.605 --> 1:07:14.725
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, I know.

1:07:15.805 --> 1:07:17.805
<v Speaker 2>And they put the best embryo in there, and I

1:07:17.845 --> 1:07:21.125
<v Speaker 2>was like, you will last. And I didn't have any deodorant.

1:07:21.165 --> 1:07:24.485
<v Speaker 2>I didn't drink Yeah, literally I went without deodorant rank

1:07:24.565 --> 1:07:27.365
<v Speaker 2>but I didn't want to have any scent. I changed

1:07:27.405 --> 1:07:29.445
<v Speaker 2>a natural deyoda and I didn't drink any cold water,

1:07:29.645 --> 1:07:30.605
<v Speaker 2>nothing like I.

1:07:32.045 --> 1:07:36.485
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm just looking like she did.

1:07:37.045 --> 1:07:39.965
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm just looking at you. I'm just looking at you.

1:07:40.445 --> 1:07:44.605
<v Speaker 3>It makes me really happy when when you finally cry,

1:07:44.965 --> 1:07:45.885
<v Speaker 3>what's going to happen.

1:07:47.445 --> 1:07:52.085
<v Speaker 2>It'll be like Noah's Ark. I just won't stop crying,

1:07:52.445 --> 1:07:54.925
<v Speaker 2>Like I think kids are like open the flood gates

1:07:55.125 --> 1:07:56.045
<v Speaker 2>and it won't end.

1:07:56.405 --> 1:07:59.525
<v Speaker 1>Are you more of a sad crier or a happy crier?

1:08:00.165 --> 1:08:03.765
<v Speaker 2>I will cry at anything, And that's why this is

1:08:03.805 --> 1:08:08.685
<v Speaker 2>so frustrating, and I'm I hate it. I hate that

1:08:08.725 --> 1:08:11.685
<v Speaker 2>I can't really I feel like I can't get any release.

1:08:12.045 --> 1:08:15.285
<v Speaker 2>And also it drives people insane because people like want.

1:08:15.125 --> 1:08:19.365
<v Speaker 1>Me to cry, I can't. My friends and stuff, they're like,

1:08:19.485 --> 1:08:20.165
<v Speaker 1>they cry all that.

1:08:20.365 --> 1:08:22.805
<v Speaker 2>My best two best friends every time they see me,

1:08:22.885 --> 1:08:25.685
<v Speaker 2>they cry, like my two best mates. They both have children,

1:08:25.845 --> 1:08:28.125
<v Speaker 2>and every time they see my belly they cry because

1:08:28.125 --> 1:08:30.965
<v Speaker 2>they've been through it with me. My brother cried.

1:08:31.365 --> 1:08:32.605
<v Speaker 1>You know, he's thirty two.

1:08:32.725 --> 1:08:35.365
<v Speaker 2>He's not a cry And my brother found out like

1:08:35.445 --> 1:08:38.205
<v Speaker 2>it was. It was a long process. But when he thought,

1:08:38.685 --> 1:08:39.965
<v Speaker 2>you know, when I was up the twelve week mark,

1:08:40.005 --> 1:08:42.725
<v Speaker 2>he cried at breakfast. My sister in law cries all

1:08:42.765 --> 1:08:44.285
<v Speaker 2>the time, and they're like, why can't you cry.

1:08:44.325 --> 1:08:48.565
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I know it's annoying, you're saving yourself.

1:08:49.365 --> 1:08:52.565
<v Speaker 3>Yes, well, you know, my mom my dad, it was

1:08:52.685 --> 1:08:56.445
<v Speaker 3>four years since he died yesterday, and my mom has

1:08:56.485 --> 1:09:01.205
<v Speaker 3>not cried, and she's also puzzled by the fact that

1:09:01.245 --> 1:09:04.285
<v Speaker 3>she hasn't cried. And I'm talking about we cried so

1:09:04.485 --> 1:09:09.165
<v Speaker 3>much at his funeral that the chapel ran out of tissues.

1:09:09.525 --> 1:09:13.805
<v Speaker 3>So we were all crying. The boys got up and spoke,

1:09:13.925 --> 1:09:16.485
<v Speaker 3>and everyone was just bereft.

1:09:16.645 --> 1:09:17.485
<v Speaker 1>And he was old.

1:09:17.765 --> 1:09:20.805
<v Speaker 3>He was eighty nine, and they obviously think old people

1:09:20.885 --> 1:09:23.965
<v Speaker 3>don't you don't love. Old people, don't get loved as

1:09:24.045 --> 1:09:26.285
<v Speaker 3>much as you know, you'd expect to cry like a

1:09:26.325 --> 1:09:32.965
<v Speaker 3>young person's funeral. But we were just awash with tears,

1:09:33.085 --> 1:09:36.205
<v Speaker 3>and my mother nothing dry as a dingo.

1:09:36.765 --> 1:09:39.485
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and still not, and she doesn't know why.

1:09:40.325 --> 1:09:42.805
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I thought, maybe there's only so many tears you

1:09:42.845 --> 1:09:45.085
<v Speaker 2>get in life, and I've already used up all my

1:09:45.165 --> 1:09:46.165
<v Speaker 2>tears on pregnancy.

1:09:46.605 --> 1:09:47.605
<v Speaker 1>Oh, you're an idiot.

1:09:49.845 --> 1:09:53.845
<v Speaker 3>You wait, you're going to be crying like a little bitch.

1:09:54.125 --> 1:09:57.765
<v Speaker 1>I hope. So I need to rub this with me.

1:09:59.365 --> 1:10:02.645
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's going to make you cry. Tom with the.

1:10:02.605 --> 1:10:05.965
<v Speaker 2>Baby girl, even Tom he holds the dog, and I'm like, oh,

1:10:06.005 --> 1:10:06.405
<v Speaker 2>that's so.

1:10:06.485 --> 1:10:07.605
<v Speaker 1>Cute, yeah, because he talked.

1:10:07.645 --> 1:10:13.605
<v Speaker 3>But seeing Tom with the baby, you're gonna cry like

1:10:13.685 --> 1:10:15.285
<v Speaker 3>someone left the cake out in the room.

1:10:16.365 --> 1:10:17.805
<v Speaker 1>Hey, one more question.

1:10:17.925 --> 1:10:25.445
<v Speaker 3>Actually, because you've been on this uncharted track, there have

1:10:25.525 --> 1:10:27.325
<v Speaker 3>been other people that have been on it with you

1:10:27.685 --> 1:10:28.845
<v Speaker 3>that you would have gotten to know.

1:10:30.365 --> 1:10:33.925
<v Speaker 1>How how do you feel? How was it.

1:10:33.885 --> 1:10:39.645
<v Speaker 3>Telling them that you've finally had success when maybe they haven't.

1:10:40.165 --> 1:10:44.525
<v Speaker 2>In my experience, every person I had been through the

1:10:44.605 --> 1:10:48.445
<v Speaker 2>journey with of infertility with and they'd been doing IVF simultaneously.

1:10:48.485 --> 1:10:51.565
<v Speaker 2>To me, I was the last basically the last one

1:10:51.965 --> 1:10:56.005
<v Speaker 2>really except for one friend, and I told her and

1:10:57.325 --> 1:10:59.605
<v Speaker 2>I didn't dread it because I was like, I've just

1:10:59.605 --> 1:11:00.325
<v Speaker 2>got to tell you and.

1:11:00.285 --> 1:11:02.365
<v Speaker 1>Just be really honest and straightforward. Yeah.

1:11:02.485 --> 1:11:04.525
<v Speaker 2>Literally, every other person that was on the journey with

1:11:04.565 --> 1:11:08.605
<v Speaker 2>me one has a five year old, like, so I was.

1:11:09.605 --> 1:11:10.325
<v Speaker 1>I'd only had.

1:11:10.205 --> 1:11:13.565
<v Speaker 2>One friend left and they started later as well, So

1:11:13.605 --> 1:11:19.605
<v Speaker 2>that's interesting. Most people have had two or three babies

1:11:19.605 --> 1:11:21.765
<v Speaker 2>in the time that I've tried to have one, which

1:11:22.085 --> 1:11:23.925
<v Speaker 2>these timestamps are cooked.

1:11:24.325 --> 1:11:27.925
<v Speaker 3>Well, you know, time just passes, but like you said earlier,

1:11:28.805 --> 1:11:31.205
<v Speaker 3>if you measure it with a child, you're like, oh,

1:11:31.245 --> 1:11:32.885
<v Speaker 3>that's what five years looks like.

1:11:33.685 --> 1:11:35.725
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I'm like, all I've done in five years

1:11:36.365 --> 1:11:38.645
<v Speaker 2>is sort of just go to and from Dona King

1:11:38.645 --> 1:11:39.365
<v Speaker 2>Merrickfield Metro.

1:11:40.045 --> 1:11:42.085
<v Speaker 1>You've done quite a lot right, a little bit more

1:11:42.085 --> 1:11:43.205
<v Speaker 1>than them, beautiful.

1:11:43.325 --> 1:11:45.165
<v Speaker 2>Get me out of here, otherwise I'll just talk to

1:11:45.245 --> 1:11:46.405
<v Speaker 2>Kate till the end of time.

1:11:48.685 --> 1:11:51.005
<v Speaker 3>Tanya Hennessy is one of those people that, to me

1:11:51.085 --> 1:11:55.045
<v Speaker 3>feels like she's always been around. She's made us laugh,

1:11:55.165 --> 1:11:58.565
<v Speaker 3>she's made us cry, She's reminded us just how messy

1:11:58.645 --> 1:12:00.285
<v Speaker 3>and beautiful life can be.

1:12:01.125 --> 1:12:02.965
<v Speaker 1>And she shared the hard.

1:12:02.725 --> 1:12:05.765
<v Speaker 3>Beats, which are sometimes the most difficult parts to share,

1:12:06.405 --> 1:12:12.485
<v Speaker 3>her endometriosis, her fertility struggles, the long winding road to

1:12:12.565 --> 1:12:18.325
<v Speaker 3>the destination of this baby, with an honesty that's unflinching and.

1:12:18.365 --> 1:12:19.605
<v Speaker 1>Real and touching.

1:12:20.565 --> 1:12:24.885
<v Speaker 3>Today we celebrate her joy, but her story isn't just

1:12:24.965 --> 1:12:28.245
<v Speaker 3>about a happy ending. It's about resilience and love and

1:12:28.285 --> 1:12:31.525
<v Speaker 3>the courage to keep going even when life doesn't make

1:12:31.565 --> 1:12:36.685
<v Speaker 3>it easy. And as always, a little laughter along the

1:12:36.725 --> 1:12:41.605
<v Speaker 3>way helps more than just about anything else. Be sure

1:12:41.645 --> 1:12:43.565
<v Speaker 3>to subscribe to No Filter to.

1:12:43.565 --> 1:12:47.325
<v Speaker 1>Hear more extraordinary stories from the people who have lit them.

1:12:47.845 --> 1:12:50.845
<v Speaker 3>The executive producer of No Filter is Nama Brown. The

1:12:50.965 --> 1:12:55.445
<v Speaker 3>senior producer is Bree Player. Audio production is by Jacob

1:12:55.445 --> 1:12:59.125
<v Speaker 3>Brown and video editing is by Josh Green. This episode

1:12:59.245 --> 1:13:03.605
<v Speaker 3>was recorded with Session in Progress Studios, and I am

1:13:03.685 --> 1:13:05.245
<v Speaker 3>your host, Kate

1:13:05.365 --> 1:13:08.605
<v Speaker 1>Langbrook and I thank you so much for listening.