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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mother and Mia podcast. Mama Miya

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Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this

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Speaker 1: podcast is recorded.

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Speaker 2: On Christmas has always been a really tough time of

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Speaker 2: year because I love it so much, and you know,

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Speaker 2: every it's a marker of time, and it's like, damn it.

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Speaker 1: You know, we didn't have a baby this year.

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Speaker 2: Nothing happens like it's passing time and I'm aging and

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Speaker 2: that's not a good thing in the.

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Speaker 1: Clinics, you know, it's.

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Speaker 2: And I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like

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Speaker 2: such a gift.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to No Filter.

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Speaker 3: I'm Kate lane Brook and today I'm sitting down with

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Speaker 3: Tanya Hennessy. Tanya is funny, she's relatable, she's endlessly honest.

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Speaker 3: But behind the laughs, she's faced a very long, very

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Speaker 3: hard road to one of life's most cherished milestones, coming

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Speaker 3: a mother. In this conversation, Tanya opens up about the heartbreak,

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Speaker 3: the hope, and the quiet moments that tested her strength.

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Speaker 3: She talks candidly about her battle within demetriosis, the challenges

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Speaker 3: of infertility, and how she brought her audience along with

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Speaker 3: her every step of the way, sharing the raw real,

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Speaker 3: often messy journey, and then finally, the moment she got

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Speaker 3: the baby news she'd been waiting for, a moment of

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Speaker 3: joy that's deeply personal, yet a reminder that every journey

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Speaker 3: to parenthood is different, and that hope, courage, and perseverance

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Speaker 3: look different for everyone.

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Speaker 1: Here is Tanya Hennessy.

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Speaker 2: Tania Hennessy, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to No Filter. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: this is a good podcast for me because I was

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Speaker 2: not born with a filter.

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Speaker 1: It's me into trouble sometimes.

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Speaker 2: No, it's perfect for you. But let me welcome you

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Speaker 2: by saying this, Hello mama. Oh girl, don't I'm so emotional,

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Speaker 2: but I can't cry figure that one out?

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Speaker 1: Oh? Are you just get me to know?

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Speaker 4: Though?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I think the process of IVF and loss has

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Speaker 2: made it really difficult to connect to my.

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Speaker 1: I can't try. It's so weird, it's so bizarre. Do

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Speaker 1: you think drives me up the wall?

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Speaker 3: Because you have spoken very openly about the seven years

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Speaker 3: oh of fertility treatments and loss, as you said, and

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Speaker 3: you've had endo.

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Speaker 1: You've been really lucky.

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Speaker 2: My god, how much money can I spend on this

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Speaker 2: unborn child? I know almost one hundred twenty grand which

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Speaker 2: is like outrageous. I don't have a house, and I

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Speaker 2: don't have much savings because I've made some fertility choices.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, like I really think that if I hadn't

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Speaker 2: have gone through all of this nonsense with fertility, maybe

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Speaker 2: I'd be connected slightly more. I'm a little bit worried

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Speaker 2: about it, kay, to be honest, because I'm worried that

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Speaker 2: this baby's gonna come out and I'm going to be

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Speaker 2: dissociative with it because it's like, I also have an

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Speaker 2: anterior placenter, so I can't feel them kicking.

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Speaker 1: What does that? What does that mean?

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't know much of biology though I've

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Speaker 3: had four children. Anterior placenta, so anterior outside something Oh no.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, yes, where would it normally be.

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Speaker 2: It's on the front, so okay, kicks, so it's at

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Speaker 2: the front. So basically every time you can have at

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Speaker 2: the back or the side, but the front is where

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Speaker 2: they kick kick kick, and you can't feel anything. So

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Speaker 2: it's I'm like, I also just look a bit chubby,

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Speaker 2: which is fine, but I've been this size before, so

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Speaker 2: like I'm.

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Speaker 1: Like, are you there? Are you there?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Right, you haven't had that moment yet where you've kind

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Speaker 3: of popped and you go, I look to the world

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Speaker 3: like a pregnant lake.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 2: And even the scans I reckon, my brain can't quite

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Speaker 2: understand that that's in me because it looks like a

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Speaker 2: film or something. You know, everyone has this scan, but

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Speaker 2: I've never had the scan where you said the baby right.

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Speaker 1: Ever, I've always just had empty, empty scans. My brain

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Speaker 1: can't compute that that's in me. And I am in therapy.

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Speaker 2: It's a really is it's really working.

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Speaker 1: It's really working, my therapist.

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Speaker 2: Just like saw you on the cover that Body and Soul.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, girl, are you therapizing?

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Speaker 1: You're just a fan. That was a great cover, by

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Speaker 1: the way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know it's it was that that was

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Speaker 2: so scary. Kate like, who oh god, but I did it.

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Speaker 2: I did it well.

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Speaker 3: You know, everything that you've done is sort of scary,

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Speaker 3: including uh, once you decide, if you decide that you

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Speaker 3: want to have a baby, and then you find.

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Speaker 1: Out that you can't or that the path.

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Speaker 3: Is going to be littered with so many obstacles, that

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Speaker 3: is really scary. Looking into the abyss of that is scary,

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Speaker 3: and particularly for women because we're so conscious of the

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Speaker 3: concept of time.

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Speaker 1: And being on borrowed time.

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Speaker 2: Especially in this industry. I think you do find that

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Speaker 2: as well, like my whole life. And I don't know

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Speaker 2: about you, but you know, I used to be wanted

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Speaker 2: to be an actor, particularly back in the day, and

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Speaker 2: it was very much like, oh, so did I really Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you have to forty, you have to forty, you have

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Speaker 2: to find forty felt like this off deadline.

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Speaker 1: You couldn't act anymore, you couldn't do anything.

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Speaker 2: You were invisible at forty and at thirty nine, pregnant

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Speaker 2: feels you know, it's the weirdest thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm on the pres.

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Speaker 2: My birthday will be three weeks before my fortieth birthday,

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Speaker 2: three weeks before I give birth.

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Speaker 1: It's like, that's bizarre.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like turning forward in having this turn of

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Speaker 2: life at the same time as giving life, and my

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Speaker 2: brain is like, but I'm really excited at the same time,

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Speaker 2: but terrified, which I think is kind of normal.

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Speaker 3: It's interesting because when we were setting up the tech here,

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Speaker 3: I was just watching you and you were so still

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Speaker 3: and composed, and I thought, oh, it's a it's another

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Speaker 3: nuance of Tanya Hennessy.

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Speaker 1: Oh, the stillness. Yeah, m do.

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Speaker 3: You feel how do you feel different? Okay, there's so

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Speaker 3: many things I want to discuss with you. First, let's

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Speaker 3: go to the moment, the moment where and in IVF procedures,

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Speaker 3: because they're so invasive, there's no secrets, are there.

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Speaker 1: Nah?

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Speaker 2: And when my embryo was my my doctor was cranky

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Speaker 2: at me because I did a different protocol and he

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Speaker 2: was like, Tanya Irish or Scottish, Tanya, do you not

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Speaker 2: trust me? And I was like, it's not that I

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Speaker 2: don't trust you, it's just that I don't have much

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Speaker 2: mental space left. And if this doesn't work, I don't

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Speaker 2: know what I'm going to do. I work in comedy,

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Speaker 2: bro Like, I got no jokes, I've got no light

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Speaker 2: left in me. I've got to try everything. It's not personal,

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Speaker 2: it's drag like I'm trying to get this done.

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Speaker 3: Also, I don't know how professional that is, although I

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Speaker 3: do you know what I mean. I don't think this

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Speaker 3: is the point when you're having an embryo transfer, at

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Speaker 3: which the doctor should make it about them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but being through like the medical system, I don't

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Speaker 2: think people like, yeah, I have a lot to say

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Speaker 2: about it. And how misdiagnosed situations get and how things

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Speaker 2: get forgotten and how much you have to advocate for yourself.

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Speaker 2: To be honest, being on the other side of fertility

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Speaker 2: is so nice because I don't have to go into

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Speaker 2: a room and fight for myself like I have had

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Speaker 2: to do. And it's wearing and exhausting, you know, going

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Speaker 2: in and being like please help me, believe me and

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Speaker 2: telling your story fifteen times, and you know, people taking

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Speaker 2: money from you and saying they're going.

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Speaker 1: To help you, and you know, like it's vulnerable.

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Speaker 2: You're like, hey, I just need help, and people are like, yeah, sure,

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Speaker 2: if you pay me six hundred dollars and then I'll

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Speaker 2: put you on this thing and it might work and

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Speaker 2: it might not.

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Speaker 3: And then because you've done this for a long time,

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Speaker 3: pretty well, since you got together with Tom, or not

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Speaker 3: long after you got together with Tom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so like twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, like you're in

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Speaker 2: a studio with Angus O'Laughlin and we used to do

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Speaker 2: radio together and we were trying then, and Angus and

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Speaker 2: I have not done radio together since twenty nineteen, and

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Speaker 2: like he would know, and he's probably listening to this,

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Speaker 2: but he would know, I used to come in and.

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Speaker 1: Be like, it's not working. It's not working, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean.

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Speaker 2: That's a long hours time, right, And Gus has had

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Speaker 2: two babies since then. By the way, that's I'm talking

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Speaker 2: about it in that term is really interesting too.

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Speaker 3: And then what did how are you navigating the You know,

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Speaker 3: when you are in a relationship with someone and you

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Speaker 3: decide that you are committed enough to each other that

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Speaker 3: you want to have children, and then it seems that

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Speaker 3: it's a possibility, which I think before you have a child,

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Speaker 3: a lot of women think I'm not going to be

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Speaker 3: able to have a child, and I think men probably

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Speaker 3: think the same thing, only they're right. They can contribute.

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Speaker 3: But you know, the women are the pig in the

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Speaker 3: bacon and eggs, Like we committed. The chicken is participating.

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Speaker 1: That is the funniest. That's one of my mothers, really stupid.

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Speaker 1: I love it so much. The chicken is just participating,

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Speaker 1: but the pig is committed. Yeah, the figures in there, eh. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So Tom taints younger than me. He's only thirty two

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Speaker 2: and I'm thirty nine.

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Speaker 1: So he's young.

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Speaker 2: So we were like, oh, he won't have any problems

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Speaker 2: and you know, we were told for a really long time,

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Speaker 2: you're really young and healthy relatively, it should be fine.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, because that's thirty two is young to start, Yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: and he was twenty what seven twenty six?

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Speaker 1: He was younger that seven years younger than thirty two.

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Speaker 1: Whatever that is. I don't do math.

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Speaker 2: So we were just told, like constantly, just keep trying,

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Speaker 2: just keep trying, just keep trying. And then eventually they

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Speaker 2: did a I begged. I begged for an internal I

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Speaker 2: was like, there's something wrong, like this is insane. He's like,

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Speaker 2: you're stressed. And I was at that time, I, you know,

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Speaker 2: I was doing a I did a reality show and

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Speaker 2: that really messed with my head. And I was going

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Speaker 2: like backwards and forwards between jobs in Melbourne and Sydney

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Speaker 2: and overseas and.

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Speaker 1: What was the reality show? Oh I'm a still ah right.

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Speaker 3: Okay, the the UK one, did the Australian one.

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Speaker 1: The Australian one. Yeah, okay, but that was rough.

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Speaker 2: I found that show so hard, Like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: people love it, but like I hated it and still

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Speaker 2: think about it and hate it.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting. Why did you hate it? Because you

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Speaker 1: can't shut the door and.

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Speaker 2: I'm so painfully annoyingly creative that I hated not being

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Speaker 2: able to create anything. I just wanted to draw in

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Speaker 2: the dirt or like write something, and I wasn't allowed to.

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Speaker 2: It's like just to have a chat with somebody else,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, but I don't want to talk to

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Speaker 2: I don't want to do that.

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Speaker 1: I want to create something.

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Speaker 3: And one of those things about I mean, one of

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Speaker 3: the things about the job that we do is that

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Speaker 3: you can't just see a people. You have to look

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Speaker 3: for the diamond in the people in people. Yes, but

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Speaker 3: some people are just rocks and if that yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and so that's a long time to spend with rocks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I took my podcasting equipment in there, and like

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Speaker 2: that was kind of fun.

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Speaker 1: So I got to.

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Speaker 2: Interview people as a part of you know, that was

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Speaker 2: my luxury item. By the way, tell you, like, what

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Speaker 2: a work addict who takes podcasting equipment?

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Speaker 1: What's wrong with me?

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Speaker 2: But I like, at least I was sort of doing

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Speaker 2: something that felt proactive because reality people like Charlotte Crossby,

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Speaker 2: she's amazing, but she's really good at just existing and

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Speaker 2: making content by existing, whereas I'm a little bit more curated,

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Speaker 2: like I want to make something like a book or

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Speaker 2: a shollow or social video and it's sort of more

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Speaker 2: orchestrated where she just exists and it's funny and brilliant.

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Speaker 2: And I just didn't have that capacity. And I would

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Speaker 2: look and there was Maths guys and Love Island guys

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Speaker 2: and they were really good at it, and I just

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Speaker 2: felt like, oh, I don't know how to just exist.

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Speaker 2: I'm more curated than existing. I'm not very interesting and

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Speaker 2: unless I'm curated, maybe.

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Speaker 3: Well, Tracey's got to make it an outing, is what

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Speaker 3: you're saying, is because you have, you know, people that

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Speaker 3: live inside you, yes, not just the baby.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's so weird to think there's like a

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Speaker 2: whole spine in me right now, Like how weird. But

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Speaker 2: Tracy actually came out of being so sick of myself

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Speaker 2: that I created this character who's a sixty year old

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Speaker 2: hairdresser and Baptist who has not trained since she went

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Speaker 2: to tape in the eighties. And I just really wanted

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Speaker 2: to do someone who just wasn't going through fertility challenges

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Speaker 2: and she's in development for tsion. So you know, sometimes

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Speaker 2: darkness brings out rainbows and I always thought that I

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Speaker 2: probably wouldn't have children, just based on what I'd been through,

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Speaker 2: and I thought this would this is going to be

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Speaker 2: the last round, this one. If it didn't work, I

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Speaker 2: was just gonna I would I would just have to

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Speaker 2: be satisfied with my life. I was going to find satisfaction.

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Speaker 2: But Tracy coming out of the darkness has actually been

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Speaker 2: one of the best things for me, because she's amazing.

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Speaker 2: We're into this woman because also she's even in the

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Speaker 2: you know, our conversation so far that you are beset

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Speaker 2: by doubt as a lot of creative people are, and

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Speaker 2: she has none.

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Speaker 1: None, so confident.

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Speaker 2: I love her like and she she doesn't have fertility struggles.

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Speaker 2: She she's not overly complex, which I love.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: I'm like adhd deep as a well, very existential, like

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Speaker 2: I think about thinking all the time, and Tracy's just

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Speaker 2: sort of like, oh, this is what's in front of me.

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Speaker 1: I'll just deal with it. Whereas I go, oh, what's

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Speaker 1: the meaning of life?

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Speaker 2: Terracy's known nuance when you say so this was going

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Speaker 2: to be your last cracker.

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Speaker 3: He's trying in an assisted way to have a baby. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: had you allowed yourself to go down the path of

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Speaker 3: if it didn't work, how your life would look.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've been yeah, and Tom and I both

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Speaker 2: went down that path, and we kind of had gone

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Speaker 2: so far down it, which is probably why it's hard

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Speaker 2: to cry. But we were like, well, let's go to

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Speaker 2: Mexico and let's do a kateon live in Italy for

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Speaker 2: a year, and you know what I mean, we sort

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Speaker 2: of had decided to find other things that would, you know,

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Speaker 2: enrich our life and our experience.

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Speaker 1: But we knew that there would always be like a

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Speaker 1: certain level of grief, right. I just wanted to know.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to know what it was like to be

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Speaker 2: a parent.

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Speaker 1: I have this thing with.

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Speaker 2: This is the thought of existentialism, is that, like, what

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Speaker 2: is the human experience? I want to have the whole thing?

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Speaker 2: You know, I've got a tattoo, and not because I

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Speaker 2: wanted one. I want to know how it felt, How

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Speaker 2: does it feel to have a baby, how does it

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Speaker 2: feel to be a parent? Like I want to have

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Speaker 2: the whole gamut of the human experience.

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Speaker 3: At what point did you say to Tom, this might

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Speaker 3: not be a possibility if you are to stay with me,

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Speaker 3: you know that that you're so cognizant of the fact

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Speaker 3: that there's another person that may be denied something because

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Speaker 3: of the vagaries of the human body.

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Speaker 2: He was always like, don't worry about it. We'll have

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Speaker 2: a great life anyway.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: It was actually him coming the other way because I

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Speaker 2: was like struggling and annoyed and frustrated, and he was

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Speaker 2: like he was over it too, because it is and

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Speaker 2: it's draining on a level that and he was just like,

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Speaker 2: you know what, it's not worth it. Your mental health

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Speaker 2: isn't worth it. Your body isn't worthing. And gained a

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Speaker 2: lot of weight, and I was very uncomfortable, very unhealthy,

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Speaker 2: and I was so sad, and he was like, Tanya,

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Speaker 2: don't worry.

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Speaker 1: If we can't have it, we can't have it.

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Speaker 2: So like let's grieve and we'll move on. Let's go

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Speaker 2: to the zoo and have a couple of lines. You know,

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Speaker 2: Like he's he's very mature for his age, but he

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Speaker 2: also has three sisters, so I think he really understands women.

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Speaker 3: And what's the formation of your family. I know you've

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Speaker 3: got your sister.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I'm the eldest, so which just makes no sense

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Speaker 2: because I'm the most immature person alive. And my younger

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Speaker 2: sister haveves like the older sister, right, you know, she's

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Speaker 2: got that sort of more mature vibe. You know, she

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Speaker 2: works in the raft like the Royal Australian Air Force.

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Speaker 2: And you know the other day I made a video

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Speaker 2: about perfume where I wasn't wearing a bra, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean, like with creative and really logistical brains.

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Speaker 1: Sort of happened that way.

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Speaker 2: And then I've got a brother, a little brother, and

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Speaker 2: his wife is due to have a baby, I think tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: So oh, we'll have cousins really close four months.

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Speaker 3: Which was part of your fantasy, it was.

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Speaker 2: And I think we'll only do one slash. I don't

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Speaker 2: only think I can't have another one. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to do this again. I cannot do this again one

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Speaker 2: and are we really stoked? And hopefully the baby will

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Speaker 2: be good friends and close with their cousins so they

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Speaker 2: can have like, you know, close relationships, because I just

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Speaker 2: I won't do this to myself, which aspect of it,

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Speaker 2: or first of all, the first trimester is for no one,

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Speaker 2: like why are we painting pregnancy like it's you know,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, like people on the beach in overalls,

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Speaker 2: being good flat, decorating a nursery with a roller, and

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Speaker 2: delightfully artfully splattered with paint. Yeah, I'm like, I barely

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00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:12,005
Speaker 2: moved for twelve weeks and just survived off twisties and

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Speaker 2: second trimester. I've definitely gotten better, but I've been on

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Speaker 2: zol off the whole time. But I feel bad about

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Speaker 2: winging about being pregnant because it took me so long

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Speaker 2: to get pregnant. So I don't want to be seen

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Speaker 2: as being a dick about it because I am very

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Speaker 2: grateful and very thankful, but it is not as nice

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Speaker 2: as an experience as I.

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Speaker 1: Thought it would.

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Speaker 2: I genuinely thought it would be nice.

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Speaker 3: A lot of people have a really terrible time when

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Speaker 3: they're pregnant, and yet there are seven billion people in

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Speaker 3: the world, so you do know that the payoff has

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00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:47,285
Speaker 3: to be quite spectacular.

365
00:18:47,725 --> 00:18:52,445
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly And did you have bad morning sickness?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yep.

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Speaker 2: And I was hosting Pete Hellier at the Sydney Writers

368
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Speaker 2: Festival was on session, and I didn't want to tell

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Speaker 2: Pe because I want to stress him out or like

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Speaker 2: make him feel like I wasn't capable of hosting him.

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Speaker 2: But I threw up before the session, after the session,

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Speaker 2: like the whole before we got there in the car,

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Speaker 2: you know, and it's just wild how amazing women are

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Speaker 2: really is what it does to your brain, not only

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Speaker 2: to survive like the endurance of infertility, but then to

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Speaker 2: go through the experience of successful pregnancy and be like,

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Speaker 2: whoa this is Like I feel like my brain is

378
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Speaker 2: like what is happening?

379
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Speaker 1: Because you kind of get to a point with IVF.

380
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:33,325
Speaker 2: You get stuck in the rounds, you get stuck in

381
00:19:33,365 --> 00:19:36,125
Speaker 2: the es, you get stuck in the embryo quality, you

382
00:19:36,165 --> 00:19:38,845
Speaker 2: get stuck in the is sticky?

383
00:19:38,925 --> 00:19:39,605
Speaker 1: Is it going to stay?

384
00:19:40,085 --> 00:19:41,445
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden you kicked out of

385
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Speaker 2: the IVF clinic. They're like say, yeah, go to an OB,

386
00:19:44,645 --> 00:19:46,485
Speaker 2: and you go to your OB and then you sort

387
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Speaker 2: of on another path very rapidly after years and years

388
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Speaker 2: of being stuck in sort of neutral, and all of

389
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Speaker 2: a sudden you're in third year and you don't know

390
00:19:54,325 --> 00:19:58,165
Speaker 2: what to do. But I'm kind of enjoying not knowing

391
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Speaker 2: what to do because I'm a bit of a control

392
00:19:59,885 --> 00:20:01,485
Speaker 2: freak and I kind of love that. I'm like, I

393
00:20:01,525 --> 00:20:03,245
Speaker 2: don't know what's going to happen. When this kid comes

394
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:05,485
Speaker 2: out of me? How am I going to change? That's

395
00:20:05,565 --> 00:20:08,565
Speaker 2: kind of it's scary, but I'm also like ready for

396
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Speaker 2: the change.

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Speaker 1: Next, Tanua reveals how Christmas became more than a holiday.

398
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Speaker 3: It became the promise of a family she'd fought so

399
00:20:21,205 --> 00:20:27,925
Speaker 3: hard for. Have you projected yourself into the future space

400
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:31,445
Speaker 3: of being a parent with Tom and worked out what

401
00:20:31,645 --> 00:20:32,965
Speaker 3: sort of parent you're going to be?

402
00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:33,125
Speaker 2: Like?

403
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:37,165
Speaker 3: What is your I think there's always like a Hallmark

404
00:20:37,325 --> 00:20:42,005
Speaker 3: movie moment that is your on your mental vision board

405
00:20:42,085 --> 00:20:42,405
Speaker 3: or whatever.

406
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Speaker 1: Christmas yours Christmas?

407
00:20:45,565 --> 00:20:47,765
Speaker 2: Right, So this year would be our eighth Christmas without

408
00:20:47,765 --> 00:20:50,365
Speaker 2: a baby. And Christmas has always been a really tough

409
00:20:50,805 --> 00:20:53,005
Speaker 2: time a year because I love it so much, and

410
00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:55,925
Speaker 2: you know, every is a marker of time, and it's like,

411
00:20:56,045 --> 00:20:57,965
Speaker 2: damn it. You know, we didn't have a baby this year.

412
00:20:58,045 --> 00:21:01,645
Speaker 2: Nothing happens like it's passing time and I'm aging and

413
00:21:02,005 --> 00:21:03,765
Speaker 2: that's not a good thing in the clinics, you know,

414
00:21:03,925 --> 00:21:09,165
Speaker 2: it's and I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like.

415
00:21:09,445 --> 00:21:15,085
Speaker 1: Such a gift. I know that is that's a movie.

416
00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:18,525
Speaker 2: So then I think about like fun Christmas names, but

417
00:21:18,525 --> 00:21:20,325
Speaker 2: then I'm like, no, you can't call your kid Noel

418
00:21:20,645 --> 00:21:23,245
Speaker 2: or can you? I don't know, well, Nol was a

419
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:27,205
Speaker 2: proper name in Nol is cool, but like Holly is

420
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:32,445
Speaker 2: Missletoe too far? Probably ellef ELpH Santa. I don't just

421
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:37,805
Speaker 2: got a fierce But so Christmas is something like we

422
00:21:38,165 --> 00:21:42,205
Speaker 2: you know where, like people who went to New York

423
00:21:42,325 --> 00:21:46,365
Speaker 2: for Christmas because we just love Christmas. I decorate the

424
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Speaker 2: four Christmas trees.

425
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:48,685
Speaker 1: One is pink.

426
00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:51,325
Speaker 2: I've got a Christmas book. I love Christmas, It's my thing.

427
00:21:51,525 --> 00:21:53,925
Speaker 2: And I've been buying Christmas presents for this baby for

428
00:21:53,965 --> 00:21:56,525
Speaker 2: so long, so it's gonna be nice to actually get

429
00:21:56,565 --> 00:22:00,125
Speaker 2: them out. I bought them a good Christmas sack, like

430
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:03,605
Speaker 2: maybe Stocking Stocking twenty sixteen, and I've just hung onto

431
00:22:03,645 --> 00:22:05,125
Speaker 2: it and put stuff in there for years.

432
00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:09,205
Speaker 1: Oh really like a glory box for a baby. Yeah.

433
00:22:09,645 --> 00:22:10,565
Speaker 1: And what's in there?

434
00:22:10,965 --> 00:22:15,565
Speaker 2: Oh, there's like blankets and like random toys and just

435
00:22:15,965 --> 00:22:18,045
Speaker 2: you know, like a puppy surprise.

436
00:22:17,765 --> 00:22:20,245
Speaker 1: Because it's more just as I.

437
00:22:20,325 --> 00:22:24,605
Speaker 2: Like pollypocket in there. I was sure what I was

438
00:22:24,605 --> 00:22:26,085
Speaker 2: going to have, so I just got a bunch of stuff.

439
00:22:26,085 --> 00:22:30,285
Speaker 2: But it's more sometimes when the transfer works and then

440
00:22:30,485 --> 00:22:33,805
Speaker 2: you have a chemical for that three days, your brain

441
00:22:33,845 --> 00:22:35,565
Speaker 2: gets tricked into believing you're going to be a parent.

442
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,925
Speaker 2: So a lot of it's been purchased during those times

443
00:22:38,085 --> 00:22:40,805
Speaker 2: or Yeah, but you know, the amount of gifts that

444
00:22:40,845 --> 00:22:43,805
Speaker 2: we've gotten from family members that brought them eight years

445
00:22:43,805 --> 00:22:48,125
Speaker 2: ago is like the coolest thing because you're like, these gifts,

446
00:22:48,165 --> 00:22:48,925
Speaker 2: even though they're kind.

447
00:22:48,805 --> 00:22:52,005
Speaker 1: Of people are bringing them out, Yeah, and.

448
00:22:51,885 --> 00:22:54,405
Speaker 2: People held onto them like, Wow, they.

449
00:22:54,285 --> 00:22:55,885
Speaker 1: Had so much faith and hope.

450
00:22:56,725 --> 00:22:59,205
Speaker 2: Like I think that if there's one thing that like,

451
00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:05,085
Speaker 2: you can take almost anything from me anything, but like

452
00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:07,725
Speaker 2: you'll never be able to take my hope or creativity.

453
00:23:08,245 --> 00:23:11,885
Speaker 2: And they're the two things that have help me survive hope.

454
00:23:12,365 --> 00:23:18,725
Speaker 2: And I don't know how how I managed to go

455
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:20,245
Speaker 2: through this because I look back on it now and

456
00:23:20,285 --> 00:23:23,125
Speaker 2: I feel very sad for myself. Like you, poor bitch,

457
00:23:23,165 --> 00:23:25,845
Speaker 2: what you've been through, Like hope is loud.

458
00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:31,445
Speaker 3: You must have had a time during the process in

459
00:23:31,485 --> 00:23:34,365
Speaker 3: which you felt that hope was lost or did you never?

460
00:23:35,245 --> 00:23:38,005
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a video of it. I lost my mind.

461
00:23:38,765 --> 00:23:41,925
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually filmed a documentary on it. It was

462
00:23:41,965 --> 00:23:45,445
Speaker 2: called Sticky Film. Yeah, three Rounds of IVF.

463
00:23:45,805 --> 00:23:49,405
Speaker 3: Was this the doco that didn't end up getting shown.

464
00:23:49,685 --> 00:23:50,445
Speaker 3: Was that that much?

465
00:23:50,645 --> 00:23:52,085
Speaker 1: Yeah, no one bought it, And.

466
00:23:53,405 --> 00:23:57,085
Speaker 2: I understand why no one bought it now because I

467
00:23:57,085 --> 00:23:59,845
Speaker 2: mean that was filmed in twenty twenty and it didn't

468
00:23:59,845 --> 00:24:01,485
Speaker 2: work till twenty twenty five, so that would have been

469
00:24:01,525 --> 00:24:03,765
Speaker 2: a long investment for a potential.

470
00:24:03,365 --> 00:24:08,045
Speaker 4: Zeero Oh was the idea to follow you, Yeah, because

471
00:24:08,085 --> 00:24:10,325
Speaker 4: I wanted to show the reality IVF and like the

472
00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:14,325
Speaker 4: funniness because sometimes it's funny, like you know, once they did.

473
00:24:15,605 --> 00:24:17,485
Speaker 2: You know, they did the thingies up the bomb. What

474
00:24:17,525 --> 00:24:23,405
Speaker 2: do they call the oppositories for painkiller? They didn't like

475
00:24:23,605 --> 00:24:26,645
Speaker 2: a scan for the eggs internally, right, They took blood

476
00:24:26,685 --> 00:24:28,845
Speaker 2: out of me and then they go, now we also

477
00:24:28,845 --> 00:24:30,445
Speaker 2: need to do a COVID test. I was like, what

478
00:24:30,525 --> 00:24:33,165
Speaker 2: orifice will you not go in today? And the answer

479
00:24:33,285 --> 00:24:34,965
Speaker 2: is all of them? You know what I mean? I said,

480
00:24:34,965 --> 00:24:37,765
Speaker 2: why can't Tom do the bloody COVID test? He his

481
00:24:38,005 --> 00:24:43,165
Speaker 2: anus has not been taken a frigging painkiller, like come on,

482
00:24:44,445 --> 00:24:45,925
Speaker 2: and it's like, that's always better for the woman to

483
00:24:45,965 --> 00:24:52,365
Speaker 2: do it. But yeah, like rough rough Town McGee. But

484
00:24:52,525 --> 00:24:55,205
Speaker 2: I understand why I want picked it up. But the

485
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:58,325
Speaker 2: footage was quite cool because Amy Schumer did a documentary

486
00:24:58,325 --> 00:25:00,005
Speaker 2: about her experience being pregnant.

487
00:25:00,045 --> 00:25:01,045
Speaker 1: I think she had HG.

488
00:25:01,205 --> 00:25:03,085
Speaker 2: She had really bad morning sickness, and she was touring

489
00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,765
Speaker 2: comedy and I was like, wouldn't it be cool to

490
00:25:04,805 --> 00:25:09,165
Speaker 2: see the process of fertility. But also I was working,

491
00:25:09,325 --> 00:25:11,725
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like I was like hosting

492
00:25:11,765 --> 00:25:16,525
Speaker 2: the actors for the digital section, and I was, you know,

493
00:25:16,685 --> 00:25:18,885
Speaker 2: making sponsored content at the time. I was doing a

494
00:25:18,885 --> 00:25:20,965
Speaker 2: lot of panel shows, and it was like interesting to

495
00:25:21,005 --> 00:25:26,725
Speaker 2: have these two sort of diametrically opposed things running together.

496
00:25:26,805 --> 00:25:28,045
Speaker 2: And I was like, that would make a great doco.

497
00:25:28,125 --> 00:25:29,405
Speaker 2: But everyone said no to it, and I was like,

498
00:25:29,485 --> 00:25:33,045
Speaker 2: Jesus fucking Christ, that's rough. But also that's the industry

499
00:25:33,445 --> 00:25:34,965
Speaker 2: that was in response to.

500
00:25:36,765 --> 00:25:38,925
Speaker 1: When you lost hope.

501
00:25:39,485 --> 00:25:41,925
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to find some meaning and maybe if

502
00:25:41,965 --> 00:25:45,925
Speaker 2: I could turn my pain into purpose it would be

503
00:25:46,205 --> 00:25:48,925
Speaker 2: somehow worth it. And I think as a content creator

504
00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:52,765
Speaker 2: and a radio announcer and a writer, to have all.

505
00:25:52,645 --> 00:25:56,245
Speaker 1: This sadness and no lesson or no.

506
00:25:57,845 --> 00:25:59,885
Speaker 2: Nothing I could gain out of it just felt so

507
00:26:00,085 --> 00:26:06,005
Speaker 2: worthless and pointless. Girl, These these I like threw I

508
00:26:06,005 --> 00:26:08,245
Speaker 2: threw a vase this day because I was like, they said,

509
00:26:08,245 --> 00:26:11,765
Speaker 2: I'll called up and said no brios nothing and I

510
00:26:11,765 --> 00:26:16,285
Speaker 2: was like, I just gained like twenty kilos nothing is

511
00:26:16,285 --> 00:26:16,685
Speaker 2: what like?

512
00:26:16,725 --> 00:26:17,045
Speaker 1: This is?

513
00:26:17,365 --> 00:26:20,125
Speaker 2: This is wildly unfair because you normally go to the

514
00:26:20,125 --> 00:26:21,525
Speaker 2: doctor and the doctor goes, you got a broken leg.

515
00:26:21,565 --> 00:26:22,565
Speaker 1: Here's what you do about it.

516
00:26:22,685 --> 00:26:24,885
Speaker 2: You go, hey, I got broken fertility, and they go,

517
00:26:25,285 --> 00:26:27,125
Speaker 2: we don't know, but we are going to use you

518
00:26:27,165 --> 00:26:29,165
Speaker 2: as a human test dummy for the next twelve to

519
00:26:29,205 --> 00:26:32,245
Speaker 2: fifteen months and we can't promise anything, and it's like

520
00:26:32,285 --> 00:26:35,085
Speaker 2: it's not their fault, but you're like it makes you

521
00:26:35,165 --> 00:26:42,085
Speaker 2: incensed within, like you're furious about like why why can't

522
00:26:42,085 --> 00:26:44,325
Speaker 2: anyone help me or promise me? And you're just looking around, going, well,

523
00:26:44,365 --> 00:26:45,965
Speaker 2: someone tell me if this is going to work. And

524
00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:47,685
Speaker 2: the answer is no one can.

525
00:26:47,885 --> 00:26:51,045
Speaker 1: So that's why the hope is so necessary to get through.

526
00:26:51,845 --> 00:26:53,925
Speaker 2: But yeah, I had rough times where I was like,

527
00:26:55,005 --> 00:26:56,805
Speaker 2: that's why I have to take like eight months off

528
00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:57,925
Speaker 2: just to survive.

529
00:26:58,645 --> 00:27:03,965
Speaker 3: And what was the infertility was attributed to your indo? Yeah,

530
00:27:04,125 --> 00:27:06,325
Speaker 3: which when we you diagnosed with.

531
00:27:06,285 --> 00:27:12,725
Speaker 1: That like twenty twenty two? Are that late? Yes? That's why?

532
00:27:11,805 --> 00:27:17,005
Speaker 1: Oh yes, oh what girl? It was on the scan.

533
00:27:17,085 --> 00:27:18,765
Speaker 2: So when they did the internal that I begged for

534
00:27:19,285 --> 00:27:21,165
Speaker 2: in the internal They were like, girl, you've got really

535
00:27:21,165 --> 00:27:23,965
Speaker 2: bad endo. How do you Your periods must be awful.

536
00:27:23,965 --> 00:27:26,685
Speaker 2: And I was like, this is just the radiographer or whatever,

537
00:27:26,725 --> 00:27:27,925
Speaker 2: you know, she's doing the internal scan.

538
00:27:28,045 --> 00:27:29,405
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if there were a job position.

539
00:27:29,525 --> 00:27:32,645
Speaker 2: Sorry, And and I was like, I have ENDO and

540
00:27:32,685 --> 00:27:34,765
Speaker 2: she's like, yes, it's on your bow, it's everywhere. I

541
00:27:34,805 --> 00:27:36,565
Speaker 2: was like, she's like, yeah, this is like stage four.

542
00:27:36,725 --> 00:27:39,365
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm not allowed to diagnose though, but you can.

543
00:27:39,965 --> 00:27:42,005
Speaker 2: It's very it's bad.

544
00:27:42,485 --> 00:27:44,605
Speaker 1: How many stages are they, by the way.

545
00:27:44,565 --> 00:27:49,405
Speaker 2: But oh okay, yeah, so one's four, which means on

546
00:27:49,485 --> 00:27:52,645
Speaker 2: another it's on another part of your body. So I've

547
00:27:52,645 --> 00:27:56,645
Speaker 2: got it in my uterus and bow, or you can

548
00:27:56,685 --> 00:27:58,325
Speaker 2: have it on your lungs, you can have a new kidney,

549
00:27:58,325 --> 00:28:00,045
Speaker 2: you can have it. Some people get in their brain

550
00:28:00,125 --> 00:28:02,485
Speaker 2: their heart like it's crazy because they don't quite know

551
00:28:02,525 --> 00:28:02,965
Speaker 2: what it is.

552
00:28:03,645 --> 00:28:07,445
Speaker 1: Right, So it's just it's this excess tissue. Yeah yeah,

553
00:28:07,485 --> 00:28:09,725
Speaker 1: but it's inflammatory as well, right.

554
00:28:10,965 --> 00:28:19,285
Speaker 3: So Tanya, So twenty twenty two, you have been exploring

555
00:28:19,445 --> 00:28:25,885
Speaker 3: the obstacles to your fertility for four years?

556
00:28:26,685 --> 00:28:29,805
Speaker 1: Yeah? Four years? Yeah?

557
00:28:30,325 --> 00:28:36,125
Speaker 3: Has no one, no medical professional at any time during that.

558
00:28:35,925 --> 00:28:36,885
Speaker 1: For two years.

559
00:28:36,925 --> 00:28:38,725
Speaker 2: Yeah, So after I did The Jungle, after I did

560
00:28:38,765 --> 00:28:41,565
Speaker 2: I'm a Celeb, there was a lot of like, oh,

561
00:28:41,605 --> 00:28:44,605
Speaker 2: you've got you know, you keep traveling and you're missing cycles,

562
00:28:44,605 --> 00:28:46,205
Speaker 2: but you're young and you're healthier chicken, you know what

563
00:28:46,205 --> 00:28:49,165
Speaker 2: I mean. That's that's where that conversation came from. The

564
00:28:49,165 --> 00:28:51,685
Speaker 2: first two years we were doing with our medical assistance,

565
00:28:51,685 --> 00:28:54,685
Speaker 2: and then the second so I was just doing on

566
00:28:54,725 --> 00:28:55,805
Speaker 2: TikTok with you.

567
00:28:56,405 --> 00:28:57,725
Speaker 1: But you've still seen a doctor.

568
00:28:58,285 --> 00:29:01,125
Speaker 3: You've seen a doctor, and has nobody said at this

569
00:29:01,685 --> 00:29:05,885
Speaker 3: point this is a good starting place for women who

570
00:29:05,925 --> 00:29:10,645
Speaker 3: are experiencing fertility issues, is let's have a look at

571
00:29:10,645 --> 00:29:11,365
Speaker 3: what's going on.

572
00:29:12,805 --> 00:29:16,565
Speaker 2: Didn't happen, No, And that's why that's yeah, it makes sense,

573
00:29:17,445 --> 00:29:21,205
Speaker 2: was what I'm saying about advocation, Like I wish I

574
00:29:21,205 --> 00:29:24,405
Speaker 2: had a known that endo was even gonna do this

575
00:29:24,445 --> 00:29:26,565
Speaker 2: to me, Like I thought my pain was super normal.

576
00:29:27,165 --> 00:29:30,645
Speaker 2: Also like I don't know, I'm kind of like the

577
00:29:30,765 --> 00:29:34,085
Speaker 2: ENDO is annoying, but I can survive it. What I

578
00:29:34,125 --> 00:29:37,045
Speaker 2: couldn't survive was not being a parent. And I'm not

579
00:29:37,085 --> 00:29:40,565
Speaker 2: real good at taking no as an answer, Like in general,

580
00:29:40,725 --> 00:29:42,165
Speaker 2: if I want.

581
00:29:42,005 --> 00:29:46,725
Speaker 3: Something, yes, but the no could have been a maybe

582
00:29:46,925 --> 00:29:48,605
Speaker 3: or even a yes earlier.

583
00:29:48,925 --> 00:29:50,325
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yeah.

584
00:29:50,445 --> 00:29:52,205
Speaker 2: I like, why didn't they find it when I was

585
00:29:52,205 --> 00:29:54,605
Speaker 2: a teenager and I had to take two days off

586
00:29:54,605 --> 00:29:57,885
Speaker 2: from school most of my year ten eleven twelve? Why

587
00:29:57,885 --> 00:29:59,725
Speaker 2: didn't When we first go to the GP, they look

588
00:29:59,725 --> 00:30:02,125
Speaker 2: at that, but it was, oh, you've got to lose.

589
00:30:01,845 --> 00:30:03,565
Speaker 1: Weight, you know.

590
00:30:03,805 --> 00:30:06,165
Speaker 2: It was every excuse instead of like, let's do an internal,

591
00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:08,245
Speaker 2: and that's what I begged for the internal. That's when

592
00:30:08,965 --> 00:30:12,165
Speaker 2: it all shifted none out of surgery and then straight

593
00:30:12,205 --> 00:30:16,245
Speaker 2: to IVF. And then I went on a menopause drug,

594
00:30:16,245 --> 00:30:20,365
Speaker 2: a synthetic menopause drug that which was really messed up.

595
00:30:20,365 --> 00:30:25,125
Speaker 2: I took that flick six months and it basically stops

596
00:30:25,165 --> 00:30:28,285
Speaker 2: your menstrual flow, so it stops your eggs from getting

597
00:30:28,325 --> 00:30:31,885
Speaker 2: amongst the endometriosis and the inflammation. But as a result

598
00:30:31,925 --> 00:30:33,925
Speaker 2: you go it two synthetic menopause.

599
00:30:36,885 --> 00:30:38,445
Speaker 1: I'm not looking forward to menopause.

600
00:30:38,485 --> 00:30:42,445
Speaker 2: After like six months of it, I was like, Wow, Like,

601
00:30:42,525 --> 00:30:44,845
Speaker 2: you get the hot flushes, you get really emotional, your

602
00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:47,845
Speaker 2: boobs go up and down, all of the symptoms of menopause,

603
00:30:47,845 --> 00:30:50,565
Speaker 2: but you're trying to achieve the opposite.

604
00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:57,805
Speaker 1: So through all of this, you're being funny, ampt you're

605
00:30:57,845 --> 00:31:02,925
Speaker 1: being funny. I'm actually achieved attempt like it's amazing.

606
00:31:02,925 --> 00:31:07,245
Speaker 3: And I say this as someone whose son had leukemia

607
00:31:07,285 --> 00:31:10,165
Speaker 3: and I did my job, which was also being funny

608
00:31:10,245 --> 00:31:12,445
Speaker 3: for four years and people would always go, I don't

609
00:31:12,445 --> 00:31:13,245
Speaker 3: know how you did it.

610
00:31:13,285 --> 00:31:14,205
Speaker 1: But now I'm.

611
00:31:14,125 --> 00:31:19,285
Speaker 3: Saying to you, yeah, so true. But I understand because in.

612
00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:21,885
Speaker 1: My cause you see, yeah, what you well?

613
00:31:21,925 --> 00:31:24,925
Speaker 3: In my case, it was sometimes the only I was

614
00:31:24,965 --> 00:31:26,725
Speaker 3: doing breakfast radio with Hughsey.

615
00:31:26,925 --> 00:31:28,285
Speaker 1: Yeah that's way. It was breaky.

616
00:31:28,605 --> 00:31:32,045
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was breaky. And very often I couldn't make

617
00:31:32,085 --> 00:31:35,245
Speaker 3: it to the studio. I'd have to be at the

618
00:31:35,285 --> 00:31:38,765
Speaker 3: hospital or home with our other three children for various

619
00:31:38,805 --> 00:31:43,405
Speaker 3: reasons when things were really terrible. But when I did

620
00:31:43,485 --> 00:31:47,925
Speaker 3: make it there, it would sometimes be the only time

621
00:31:48,245 --> 00:31:51,725
Speaker 3: in my day, in my week, in my month that

622
00:31:51,885 --> 00:31:55,885
Speaker 3: was not about cancer. Oh and do you find that,

623
00:31:58,285 --> 00:32:01,885
Speaker 3: did you find that blessed release?

624
00:32:02,085 --> 00:32:02,245
Speaker 1: Oh?

625
00:32:02,285 --> 00:32:06,885
Speaker 2: For sure, because yeah, like one thing I loved about

626
00:32:06,885 --> 00:32:08,565
Speaker 2: doing full time radio and I'm not done full time

627
00:32:08,645 --> 00:32:10,285
Speaker 2: radio on a long time now, but god, I loved

628
00:32:10,325 --> 00:32:12,765
Speaker 2: it back in the day when it was there's only

629
00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:19,005
Speaker 2: eight people doing full time I know, but because really,

630
00:32:19,125 --> 00:32:20,405
Speaker 2: no matter what was going on in my life, I

631
00:32:20,405 --> 00:32:22,325
Speaker 2: could always go on air and it would just disappear.

632
00:32:22,645 --> 00:32:23,725
Speaker 1: Everything else would disappear.

633
00:32:23,765 --> 00:32:26,525
Speaker 2: And you know, if it's the antidote to anxiety really

634
00:32:26,525 --> 00:32:29,325
Speaker 2: because you're so present, because you have to be you

635
00:32:29,445 --> 00:32:33,325
Speaker 2: have to be right there in the moment, listening, responding, reacting,

636
00:32:33,485 --> 00:32:40,285
Speaker 2: live and one hundred percent one hundred percent content creation

637
00:32:41,365 --> 00:32:46,205
Speaker 2: and you know, doing film, television, books, books, book tours, whatever, podcasting.

638
00:32:47,245 --> 00:32:49,965
Speaker 2: It became my safe space and fund space because it

639
00:32:50,085 --> 00:32:51,365
Speaker 2: was like nothing else.

640
00:32:51,485 --> 00:32:52,445
Speaker 1: You've also had.

641
00:32:53,765 --> 00:32:56,285
Speaker 3: You know, there are parallels in our experience in so

642
00:32:56,405 --> 00:32:59,045
Speaker 3: far as that goes, but you also had it going

643
00:32:59,085 --> 00:33:04,445
Speaker 3: on within your body and the flattening that can happen

644
00:33:04,645 --> 00:33:10,965
Speaker 3: with hormonal surges and treatments and whatever is like nummy.

645
00:33:10,765 --> 00:33:11,045
Speaker 1: I know.

646
00:33:11,125 --> 00:33:15,085
Speaker 2: But Kate, like, I freelance so I can choose whether

647
00:33:15,165 --> 00:33:18,325
Speaker 2: or not I do and don't work, which not all

648
00:33:18,365 --> 00:33:20,845
Speaker 2: the time because sometimes you need money to.

649
00:33:20,885 --> 00:33:24,245
Speaker 1: Live and rent to this concepts.

650
00:33:24,525 --> 00:33:26,605
Speaker 2: But like I think, when you work in a team,

651
00:33:26,845 --> 00:33:29,325
Speaker 2: like how you know you were with hughs, it's so

652
00:33:29,525 --> 00:33:32,165
Speaker 2: hard to not come into work because you do feel like,

653
00:33:32,245 --> 00:33:34,765
Speaker 2: oh no, you know, I'm like the team and the

654
00:33:34,805 --> 00:33:37,445
Speaker 2: team and this, and you hold it differently to when

655
00:33:37,445 --> 00:33:41,165
Speaker 2: you're a freelancer doing it solo. But I mean, yeah,

656
00:33:41,285 --> 00:33:45,045
Speaker 2: I had to cancel a lot. I still I don't

657
00:33:45,085 --> 00:33:48,325
Speaker 2: like to cancel a lot like or at all, because

658
00:33:48,805 --> 00:33:51,125
Speaker 2: I still have that And I don't know if.

659
00:33:51,045 --> 00:33:51,765
Speaker 1: You have this still.

660
00:33:51,805 --> 00:33:54,125
Speaker 2: I'd be interested to know, because I do see a

661
00:33:54,165 --> 00:33:58,365
Speaker 2: lot of myself in you imposter syndrome, Like I'm so

662
00:33:58,485 --> 00:34:00,405
Speaker 2: scared to say no to an opportunity because of what

663
00:34:00,445 --> 00:34:01,525
Speaker 2: if it never comes up again.

664
00:34:02,165 --> 00:34:05,525
Speaker 1: So that's why I never want to cancel all or anything.

665
00:34:05,485 --> 00:34:09,965
Speaker 3: That's a freelancer thing. And I think showbies generally as well.

666
00:34:10,005 --> 00:34:12,845
Speaker 3: If you're not a NEPO baby and you haven't been

667
00:34:13,485 --> 00:34:18,165
Speaker 3: born with this clear pathway to you know, the yellow

668
00:34:18,165 --> 00:34:21,245
Speaker 3: brick road that leads to OZ, then I think you

669
00:34:21,325 --> 00:34:23,525
Speaker 3: always have a thing that I need to accept this

670
00:34:24,365 --> 00:34:27,285
Speaker 3: opportunity because this opportunity may not come again.

671
00:34:27,725 --> 00:34:30,365
Speaker 1: And it's true that certain opportunities only come once.

672
00:34:30,525 --> 00:34:33,165
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I had this amazing opportunity the other day.

673
00:34:33,205 --> 00:34:36,645
Speaker 2: I lost my mind over it. It was an animation.

674
00:34:37,765 --> 00:34:41,685
Speaker 2: Can you deal doing an animation? It's like my freaking dream.

675
00:34:41,805 --> 00:34:43,845
Speaker 2: And it was a villain. It was a cartoon villain,

676
00:34:43,965 --> 00:34:45,485
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god. And I auditioned,

677
00:34:45,485 --> 00:34:46,725
Speaker 2: I did the whole thing, and I got it. And

678
00:34:46,725 --> 00:34:49,205
Speaker 2: I've auditioned a lot and gotten nothing, Like I'm not

679
00:34:49,205 --> 00:34:50,965
Speaker 2: even kidding a probably auditioned for one hundred and twenty

680
00:34:51,005 --> 00:34:55,085
Speaker 2: things back in the day and got literally nothing. I

681
00:34:55,125 --> 00:35:02,085
Speaker 2: am actually incredibly talented at not getting auditions, unbelievably skilled. Honestly,

682
00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:04,685
Speaker 2: I should write about it. But I got this job,

683
00:35:04,805 --> 00:35:07,125
Speaker 2: and I was so sick, I was so mourning sick.

684
00:35:07,245 --> 00:35:09,485
Speaker 2: But I was like, I'm going to take everything. It's

685
00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:11,205
Speaker 2: a ball and I'm going to pretend. And once I

686
00:35:11,205 --> 00:35:13,765
Speaker 2: got behind the microphone, you know, I was, you know,

687
00:35:14,245 --> 00:35:15,885
Speaker 2: going through it. But I was like, come on, come on,

688
00:35:15,925 --> 00:35:17,765
Speaker 2: this is like and it was the best day. It

689
00:35:17,765 --> 00:35:19,125
Speaker 2: was the best day of my career. And I got

690
00:35:19,125 --> 00:35:23,485
Speaker 2: to push it away for like a bit and get there.

691
00:35:24,125 --> 00:35:26,925
Speaker 2: But like it's so different. This pain, like not pain,

692
00:35:26,965 --> 00:35:29,445
Speaker 2: but like this, you know, the difficulty of pregnancy is

693
00:35:29,485 --> 00:35:31,445
Speaker 2: nothing compared to the difficulty of infertility.

694
00:35:32,005 --> 00:35:33,685
Speaker 1: Like I don't prefer this.

695
00:35:33,725 --> 00:35:38,845
Speaker 3: Then, well because also one is finite and one is infinite.

696
00:35:39,125 --> 00:35:43,765
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, real infinite, and that's the hardest part of it.

697
00:35:43,925 --> 00:35:47,365
Speaker 1: And when you imagined your life.

698
00:35:47,485 --> 00:35:49,925
Speaker 3: I know that you said you and Tom. Tom was

699
00:35:49,965 --> 00:35:54,005
Speaker 3: always like, we're going to have a great life. What

700
00:35:54,325 --> 00:35:58,245
Speaker 3: was it that was so important about having a child?

701
00:35:58,565 --> 00:35:59,005
Speaker 1: To you?

702
00:35:59,605 --> 00:36:03,605
Speaker 2: I feel like a part of me just wouldn't have

703
00:36:03,765 --> 00:36:07,605
Speaker 2: felt whole. And I hate saying that because I know

704
00:36:07,645 --> 00:36:10,005
Speaker 2: some people can't have children, they don't want to have children.

705
00:36:10,045 --> 00:36:13,605
Speaker 2: But I I'm speaking on my personal.

706
00:36:13,285 --> 00:36:17,445
Speaker 3: Life course, and can I just say as well, there's

707
00:36:17,485 --> 00:36:21,165
Speaker 3: a real tendency for us not want to not want

708
00:36:21,205 --> 00:36:25,885
Speaker 3: to hurt other people with what we have, and I

709
00:36:25,925 --> 00:36:29,525
Speaker 3: do think you need to set that aside, because not

710
00:36:29,685 --> 00:36:33,325
Speaker 3: everyone can have everything. It's really hard, it's terrible. We

711
00:36:33,365 --> 00:36:37,005
Speaker 3: all have friends who have not held in their arms.

712
00:36:37,845 --> 00:36:39,605
Speaker 3: It's a little one that they wanted to hold.

713
00:36:39,925 --> 00:36:42,085
Speaker 1: Yeah. Isn't that blue episode?

714
00:36:42,165 --> 00:36:45,605
Speaker 2: That blue episode where the aunt cast day because she

715
00:36:45,685 --> 00:36:48,205
Speaker 2: can't have children? God, that episode is so meaningful to

716
00:36:48,245 --> 00:36:50,805
Speaker 2: me because I felt like I've not been the best aunt.

717
00:36:51,005 --> 00:36:53,005
Speaker 1: When did you see it? Where were you at when

718
00:36:53,045 --> 00:36:53,525
Speaker 1: you saw it?

719
00:36:53,645 --> 00:36:55,645
Speaker 2: I think I was like round six of IVY and

720
00:36:55,725 --> 00:36:57,885
Speaker 2: I was like no, no, no, no, five, five, And

721
00:36:57,925 --> 00:37:00,565
Speaker 2: I was like, oh God, And I wasn't getting anything

722
00:37:00,925 --> 00:37:03,525
Speaker 2: as my eggs kept breaking because the quality was so bad,

723
00:37:04,205 --> 00:37:07,405
Speaker 2: and so then just yeah, I don't know. I think

724
00:37:07,845 --> 00:37:09,885
Speaker 2: I've always wanted to be a parent. I want to

725
00:37:09,885 --> 00:37:12,365
Speaker 2: know how it feels. I want to know what life

726
00:37:12,485 --> 00:37:15,045
Speaker 2: is like to be a parent. I want to see

727
00:37:15,085 --> 00:37:16,765
Speaker 2: the world through a child's eyes.

728
00:37:17,685 --> 00:37:18,085
Speaker 1: I don't know.

729
00:37:18,125 --> 00:37:20,325
Speaker 2: I feel like I just need to see them. I

730
00:37:20,365 --> 00:37:21,165
Speaker 2: need to meet them.

731
00:37:21,205 --> 00:37:25,365
Speaker 1: What do they like? What are they? Do they like cricket?

732
00:37:26,085 --> 00:37:27,085
Speaker 1: Do they like them?

733
00:37:29,125 --> 00:37:32,805
Speaker 3: For your sake that they don't like cricket?

734
00:37:33,685 --> 00:37:34,005
Speaker 1: Girl?

735
00:37:34,645 --> 00:37:38,165
Speaker 2: If aught on a Sunday, I can't, I am anyway,

736
00:37:38,285 --> 00:37:41,045
Speaker 2: But no, you know, I'm like, I'm just fascinated to know.

737
00:37:44,685 --> 00:37:48,005
Speaker 3: After this break, Tanya gets real about the fears that

738
00:37:48,125 --> 00:37:56,485
Speaker 3: linger even as she counts down to becoming a mom.

739
00:37:56,645 --> 00:37:59,005
Speaker 1: What were you like when you were young?

740
00:37:59,165 --> 00:38:02,125
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I was a little shit. I'm so

741
00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:05,845
Speaker 2: afraid for myself. I was so naughty, I was so

742
00:38:06,965 --> 00:38:10,645
Speaker 2: like opinionated. When I was three, I had my own radio.

743
00:38:10,445 --> 00:38:12,125
Speaker 1: Show, you know what I mean, Like.

744
00:38:12,125 --> 00:38:14,205
Speaker 2: I was, you know those like little It was like

745
00:38:14,245 --> 00:38:16,405
Speaker 2: a Fisher and Pike cool thing, and you'd press record

746
00:38:16,445 --> 00:38:18,165
Speaker 2: and play at the same time and record your own

747
00:38:18,205 --> 00:38:20,645
Speaker 2: voice and had a little microphone attached to it's like

748
00:38:20,725 --> 00:38:23,965
Speaker 2: white plastic with a fisher and pike, sort of red

749
00:38:24,005 --> 00:38:25,045
Speaker 2: and blue.

750
00:38:25,365 --> 00:38:28,685
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right, yeah yeah, you had that.

751
00:38:29,165 --> 00:38:31,405
Speaker 2: Yes, And I used to say words that rhymed with duck,

752
00:38:31,525 --> 00:38:34,285
Speaker 2: you know, just for entertainment for my parents, and.

753
00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:35,405
Speaker 1: They were like, go away.

754
00:38:36,445 --> 00:38:40,525
Speaker 2: And I was a real little teenage nightmare, very opinionated,

755
00:38:41,285 --> 00:38:46,565
Speaker 2: very creatively stuck. Radio saved my life because I I

756
00:38:46,605 --> 00:38:49,925
Speaker 2: could finally be creative in my own terms. Really, because

757
00:38:49,965 --> 00:38:52,485
Speaker 2: being an actor you wait for opportunities. Radio yes is just.

758
00:38:52,605 --> 00:38:56,965
Speaker 3: Do yes, and there's an immediac. There's an immediac that

759
00:38:57,045 --> 00:38:57,965
Speaker 3: really suits you.

760
00:38:58,285 --> 00:38:59,405
Speaker 1: Yes. And same with social.

761
00:38:59,445 --> 00:39:01,445
Speaker 2: Social really opened up the world for me in terms

762
00:39:01,485 --> 00:39:05,525
Speaker 2: of creating because it's I find creating insatiable, Like I

763
00:39:05,605 --> 00:39:07,725
Speaker 2: just want to make and create. Like I wrote five

764
00:39:07,805 --> 00:39:13,245
Speaker 2: books this year. It's August. I've been pregnant and done

765
00:39:13,285 --> 00:39:15,885
Speaker 2: around the five years and had an endo surgery.

766
00:39:16,205 --> 00:39:18,485
Speaker 1: I just am very addicted to stories.

767
00:39:18,645 --> 00:39:21,605
Speaker 2: I love to tell stories, write stories, connect with people,

768
00:39:22,125 --> 00:39:24,805
Speaker 2: and I just I want this baby to grow up

769
00:39:25,165 --> 00:39:28,365
Speaker 2: in the I don't know magical way that I did.

770
00:39:28,405 --> 00:39:30,605
Speaker 2: You know, I had such a great childhood and my

771
00:39:30,685 --> 00:39:32,925
Speaker 2: pop was so present, you know, I want them to

772
00:39:32,965 --> 00:39:35,005
Speaker 2: be like a part of my parents' life and my

773
00:39:35,285 --> 00:39:36,245
Speaker 2: brothers and sisters.

774
00:39:36,285 --> 00:39:40,685
Speaker 1: And you know, how is Tom's family? What's his family situation?

775
00:39:40,925 --> 00:39:44,245
Speaker 2: So he's the youngest of four and yeah, all girls,

776
00:39:44,485 --> 00:39:47,285
Speaker 2: and they have all had children, like long, long time,

777
00:39:47,365 --> 00:39:49,165
Speaker 2: Like the oldest is old.

778
00:39:49,525 --> 00:39:51,925
Speaker 1: Ah, so you've got babysitters.

779
00:39:52,325 --> 00:39:56,085
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they live in Bloody to Woomba. Ah, I

780
00:39:56,165 --> 00:39:59,885
Speaker 2: live not into womb Yeah. Yeah, but I'm sure they'll

781
00:39:59,925 --> 00:40:03,005
Speaker 2: come down. They're all really pretty. Tom's sisters, they're all

782
00:40:03,125 --> 00:40:07,125
Speaker 2: very attractive. But they all have long, dark hair, and

783
00:40:07,165 --> 00:40:10,085
Speaker 2: so do I, which makes me slightly confus about Tom's

784
00:40:11,645 --> 00:40:16,605
Speaker 2: issues with family, right, Like I have long lack hair

785
00:40:16,605 --> 00:40:19,605
Speaker 2: and all the like, Bro, what's this about.

786
00:40:19,725 --> 00:40:21,965
Speaker 1: Let's well, there's not that many choices.

787
00:40:22,245 --> 00:40:27,525
Speaker 3: No, you're right, I mean really, it's it's not that strange.

788
00:40:27,885 --> 00:40:30,325
Speaker 2: And Ted Bundy loved to a girl with long, straight hair.

789
00:40:30,365 --> 00:40:33,325
Speaker 2: So does he call you sis? Twice?

790
00:40:33,445 --> 00:40:38,285
Speaker 1: He has no Sometimes I call him mum though, because

791
00:40:38,565 --> 00:40:40,045
Speaker 1: he does so much for me.

792
00:40:40,085 --> 00:40:43,165
Speaker 2: And he's a chef, right, so his love language is foods,

793
00:40:43,485 --> 00:40:44,765
Speaker 2: so he's like making food all the time.

794
00:40:44,805 --> 00:40:47,205
Speaker 1: I'm like, thanks, Mom, Like Jesus, Nope, that's not Okay,

795
00:40:47,845 --> 00:40:51,445
Speaker 1: is your plan when the baby comes? What's your work plan?

796
00:40:52,125 --> 00:40:53,805
Speaker 2: Tom's going to be a stay at home dad, so

797
00:40:53,845 --> 00:40:58,245
Speaker 2: he we've structured it so he will not work for

798
00:40:58,285 --> 00:41:02,085
Speaker 2: twelve months, and I'll probably work within three months of

799
00:41:03,565 --> 00:41:06,525
Speaker 2: uh giving birth. But I'll do a sea section. Not

800
00:41:06,525 --> 00:41:08,205
Speaker 2: saying that that's easier. I think it's actually going to

801
00:41:08,245 --> 00:41:11,005
Speaker 2: be harder. I'm not sure what's happened there. I've got

802
00:41:11,005 --> 00:41:12,725
Speaker 2: to have to see a midwife because I'm like, what

803
00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:16,885
Speaker 2: happens after it's out? Like, do you chat to it

804
00:41:16,925 --> 00:41:18,805
Speaker 2: for a little bit. It's obviously varied it.

805
00:41:19,405 --> 00:41:22,405
Speaker 1: Ah, if you're are you having a C section? Yeah?

806
00:41:22,445 --> 00:41:24,445
Speaker 1: Well I know about that because I've had four of them.

807
00:41:24,805 --> 00:41:25,405
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.

808
00:41:25,485 --> 00:41:28,045
Speaker 2: So I don't have the option because of my endometriosis.

809
00:41:28,205 --> 00:41:29,085
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah.

810
00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:33,085
Speaker 3: So they'll they give the baby to the alleged father,

811
00:41:33,485 --> 00:41:38,645
Speaker 3: all yes, as I call Peter Lewis, and then you

812
00:41:38,965 --> 00:41:40,205
Speaker 3: they kind of clean you.

813
00:41:40,325 --> 00:41:44,205
Speaker 1: Up and stitch you up. Yeah, very important to stitch

814
00:41:44,205 --> 00:41:44,605
Speaker 1: you up.

815
00:41:45,165 --> 00:41:49,445
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then it's sometimes it's quite sort of quick,

816
00:41:49,645 --> 00:41:52,005
Speaker 3: maybe an hour, but I had one that was a

817
00:41:52,005 --> 00:41:56,005
Speaker 3: bit wonky and that was maybe two and a half

818
00:41:56,125 --> 00:41:58,645
Speaker 3: hours until I saw Peter and the baby.

819
00:41:58,925 --> 00:42:01,085
Speaker 1: Oh, so they kind of go away with the baby.

820
00:42:01,245 --> 00:42:05,125
Speaker 3: Yeah, they yes, because they're not in the operating room

821
00:42:05,245 --> 00:42:09,525
Speaker 3: or you're getting all that done. And then you see

822
00:42:09,525 --> 00:42:12,565
Speaker 3: the baby. I'll turn your hair nessy. I mean you

823
00:42:12,605 --> 00:42:14,405
Speaker 3: see the baby straight away. When you have the baby,

824
00:42:14,405 --> 00:42:17,125
Speaker 3: they put the baby on your chest, so you have

825
00:42:17,245 --> 00:42:20,485
Speaker 3: that moment, and they dangle the baby.

826
00:42:20,245 --> 00:42:23,685
Speaker 1: Over the screen. I love a dangle. That's the dangle

827
00:42:23,805 --> 00:42:24,325
Speaker 1: is great.

828
00:42:25,445 --> 00:42:27,765
Speaker 3: And then Tom will probably be up because I said

829
00:42:27,805 --> 00:42:29,725
Speaker 3: I didn't want Peter seeing my innards.

830
00:42:30,685 --> 00:42:32,725
Speaker 1: I don't know how you are about that, but I'm like,

831
00:42:32,805 --> 00:42:33,445
Speaker 1: it's already.

832
00:42:33,605 --> 00:42:37,045
Speaker 3: I never wanted him down that, you know, business end,

833
00:42:37,205 --> 00:42:39,005
Speaker 3: which was once was the party.

834
00:42:38,805 --> 00:42:43,685
Speaker 1: End, party end.

835
00:42:44,525 --> 00:42:47,365
Speaker 3: And then he'll be there like stroking your head with

836
00:42:47,445 --> 00:42:52,445
Speaker 3: a little with your hair net on, and then hopefully

837
00:42:52,485 --> 00:42:54,725
Speaker 3: one of the kind people in the operating theater will

838
00:42:54,765 --> 00:42:59,045
Speaker 3: be filming it for you, also once again omitting the

839
00:42:59,085 --> 00:43:02,525
Speaker 3: parts in which you're cut open like a whale. Yeah,

840
00:43:02,725 --> 00:43:04,045
Speaker 3: I didn't want to see any of those.

841
00:43:04,565 --> 00:43:05,005
Speaker 1: I can't.

842
00:43:05,605 --> 00:43:07,605
Speaker 3: And then they hand you the baby, and then the

843
00:43:07,685 --> 00:43:11,565
Speaker 3: baby is on your chest and then you're like, oh

844
00:43:11,605 --> 00:43:14,405
Speaker 3: my goodness, this is who you were all the time.

845
00:43:15,645 --> 00:43:18,725
Speaker 3: How did I not know it was you.

846
00:43:18,725 --> 00:43:23,485
Speaker 1: You make perfect scenes, don't. Okay, that's all that's going

847
00:43:23,565 --> 00:43:24,085
Speaker 1: to be you.

848
00:43:25,445 --> 00:43:28,085
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so bizarre because you go you see them

849
00:43:28,085 --> 00:43:30,525
Speaker 2: as it as an embryo on a screen, you know,

850
00:43:30,605 --> 00:43:34,485
Speaker 2: and they're oh gosh, they're like a pin prick right

851
00:43:34,725 --> 00:43:35,485
Speaker 2: like it's nothing.

852
00:43:35,565 --> 00:43:36,605
Speaker 1: You can't even see it.

853
00:43:37,165 --> 00:43:40,325
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden it's it's got a heartbeat,

854
00:43:40,365 --> 00:43:42,885
Speaker 2: but it's just a jelly bean. And then it looks

855
00:43:42,885 --> 00:43:45,405
Speaker 2: like a lizard for a couple of months, and then

856
00:43:45,405 --> 00:43:46,885
Speaker 2: it sort of looks like a person.

857
00:43:47,365 --> 00:43:50,125
Speaker 1: What size are you at now? It's the size of

858
00:43:50,805 --> 00:43:52,885
Speaker 1: There was a cant Live Night.

859
00:43:53,445 --> 00:43:56,245
Speaker 2: A Cadbury Easter Bunny. I've gone with the chocolate because

860
00:43:56,245 --> 00:43:56,445
Speaker 2: you can.

861
00:43:56,725 --> 00:43:58,965
Speaker 1: I've got an app where you can pick things like

862
00:43:59,005 --> 00:44:01,045
Speaker 1: do you do fruit? I was like, nah, I'll do

863
00:44:01,325 --> 00:44:03,045
Speaker 1: I'll do the chocolate Cadbury Easter.

864
00:44:03,205 --> 00:44:06,445
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what the big buddy are the bunny like

865
00:44:06,485 --> 00:44:08,005
Speaker 2: you know, like the the elegant rabbit.

866
00:44:08,445 --> 00:44:10,765
Speaker 1: No, not the elegant won the bog of money.

867
00:44:12,485 --> 00:44:17,405
Speaker 2: Just like not that that's red Shure sort of thee

868
00:44:17,445 --> 00:44:18,325
Speaker 2: down from that, like.

869
00:44:18,525 --> 00:44:19,365
Speaker 1: The middle side.

870
00:44:19,405 --> 00:44:22,365
Speaker 3: Okay, and you know what you're having? I do I

871
00:44:22,485 --> 00:44:25,525
Speaker 3: do yeah, and are you keeping that under wraps?

872
00:44:25,845 --> 00:44:26,085
Speaker 5: Yeah?

873
00:44:26,125 --> 00:44:27,405
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of it has to do

874
00:44:27,445 --> 00:44:29,125
Speaker 2: with fear. I'm like, what if I say it out

875
00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:30,365
Speaker 2: loud and then they don't come?

876
00:44:30,605 --> 00:44:31,005
Speaker 1: I don't know.

877
00:44:31,125 --> 00:44:35,925
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like that strange thing about not not buying

878
00:44:36,045 --> 00:44:36,965
Speaker 3: baby clothes.

879
00:44:37,765 --> 00:44:40,845
Speaker 2: I've not bought anything myself yet, like I have in

880
00:44:40,885 --> 00:44:44,245
Speaker 2: the past, but not currently. We do have a pram

881
00:44:44,285 --> 00:44:47,165
Speaker 2: at home that we were sent, which was like the

882
00:44:47,205 --> 00:44:49,285
Speaker 2: wildest thing. I was like, who sends a pram?

883
00:44:49,365 --> 00:44:53,045
Speaker 1: This is who did send a pram? A company? A company?

884
00:44:53,165 --> 00:44:55,405
Speaker 1: Oh lovely, Yeah, I'll take a what else?

885
00:44:57,285 --> 00:44:59,685
Speaker 2: Yes, a Suzuki? What can I what can I take?

886
00:45:01,045 --> 00:45:01,285
Speaker 1: Yeah?

887
00:45:01,365 --> 00:45:07,485
Speaker 2: Like it's it's it's scary still, it's I'm scared most days.

888
00:45:08,085 --> 00:45:11,925
Speaker 1: Okay, Tan, here's say this to you. Yes, ma'am.

889
00:45:13,045 --> 00:45:18,885
Speaker 3: When you become a parent, you also become the carrier

890
00:45:19,005 --> 00:45:20,445
Speaker 3: of a parcel of fear.

891
00:45:21,325 --> 00:45:22,965
Speaker 1: Oh great, you just do.

892
00:45:23,285 --> 00:45:27,005
Speaker 3: Because there are certain things in the world that when

893
00:45:27,045 --> 00:45:30,925
Speaker 3: it's involving you, you feel that you have some autonomy

894
00:45:30,965 --> 00:45:33,085
Speaker 3: over all, that you can handle it or whatever. But

895
00:45:33,125 --> 00:45:35,965
Speaker 3: when you have a baby, you're putting your little ship

896
00:45:36,005 --> 00:45:40,325
Speaker 3: out to see in the stormiest of waters.

897
00:45:40,645 --> 00:45:43,125
Speaker 1: Whatever you don't know what that little boat is going

898
00:45:43,165 --> 00:45:43,765
Speaker 1: to encounter.

899
00:45:44,885 --> 00:45:46,725
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I see with my friends all

900
00:45:46,725 --> 00:45:50,005
Speaker 2: the time and like kids get bullied and whatever. Can

901
00:45:50,045 --> 00:45:51,765
Speaker 2: you not go down to the school and bash them?

902
00:45:51,765 --> 00:45:56,085
Speaker 1: Like so, well, I have I have done a bit

903
00:45:56,125 --> 00:45:59,685
Speaker 1: of this. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I work.

904
00:46:00,285 --> 00:46:04,645
Speaker 3: But part of it as well is you have to

905
00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:06,685
Speaker 3: have the faith that you had that.

906
00:46:06,605 --> 00:46:07,765
Speaker 1: Has led you to here.

907
00:46:08,085 --> 00:46:11,445
Speaker 3: Yes, one hundred us and most people in the world

908
00:46:11,485 --> 00:46:12,965
Speaker 3: are deserving of that faith.

909
00:46:13,725 --> 00:46:13,965
Speaker 1: Yes.

910
00:46:14,125 --> 00:46:17,565
Speaker 3: And if there's a gift that you can give your

911
00:46:18,125 --> 00:46:22,685
Speaker 3: unborn child, it is to give them that faith and

912
00:46:22,765 --> 00:46:24,725
Speaker 3: instill them with that faith in the world.

913
00:46:25,365 --> 00:46:28,085
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone told me something really interesting. Long story, but

914
00:46:28,125 --> 00:46:32,325
Speaker 2: I randomly played a drug dealer on Bump, the Christmas movie.

915
00:46:32,565 --> 00:46:36,405
Speaker 1: Oh yeah right, ah regnant by the way.

916
00:46:36,405 --> 00:46:42,645
Speaker 2: Aha ah, rolling around playing this drug dealer with tats

917
00:46:42,685 --> 00:46:46,045
Speaker 2: on my face like it was actually really iconic. But

918
00:46:46,125 --> 00:46:49,045
Speaker 2: I said to Claudia carbon I was like, do you

919
00:46:49,045 --> 00:46:51,285
Speaker 2: have any advice for me because you have kids? And

920
00:46:51,325 --> 00:46:54,965
Speaker 2: she goes, everything is temporary, and I was like, that

921
00:46:55,165 --> 00:46:56,565
Speaker 2: is excellent.

922
00:46:56,805 --> 00:46:58,485
Speaker 1: Including the tattoos on your face.

923
00:46:58,925 --> 00:47:05,445
Speaker 2: Well one has lasted. It's some serious exfoliation, but yes,

924
00:47:05,485 --> 00:47:06,885
Speaker 2: she said everything's temporary, so.

925
00:47:06,845 --> 00:47:07,645
Speaker 1: Like it will end.

926
00:47:08,005 --> 00:47:10,885
Speaker 2: So once you become great of being a toddler mom, goodbye,

927
00:47:10,965 --> 00:47:14,205
Speaker 2: they're they're at school, and then you you know, it's temporary.

928
00:47:14,285 --> 00:47:15,325
Speaker 1: And I was like, so true.

929
00:47:15,965 --> 00:47:20,565
Speaker 3: When do you think you'll allow yourself the luxury of

930
00:47:21,925 --> 00:47:25,445
Speaker 3: leaning into it and believing that it's going to happen.

931
00:47:25,485 --> 00:47:28,885
Speaker 2: When they cut it out and dangle. Oh, I just

932
00:47:29,005 --> 00:47:31,445
Speaker 2: hope they're okay. I'm just like, are you okay in there?

933
00:47:31,485 --> 00:47:36,245
Speaker 2: Am I eating the right food? But also I mean people,

934
00:47:37,165 --> 00:47:41,045
Speaker 2: oh meth and her Oh, Tanya to tell you?

935
00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:41,925
Speaker 1: Can I tell you?

936
00:47:41,965 --> 00:47:45,045
Speaker 2: I were a fertility specialist way back at the day

937
00:47:45,085 --> 00:47:47,365
Speaker 2: and I said, she goes, now, do you smoke?

938
00:47:47,685 --> 00:47:48,245
Speaker 1: I said no.

939
00:47:48,405 --> 00:47:50,805
Speaker 2: She goes, great, that's really bad for you. Do you

940
00:47:50,845 --> 00:47:52,405
Speaker 2: do any recreation of drugs?

941
00:47:52,445 --> 00:47:54,405
Speaker 1: Meth? What do you any of that? I said no,

942
00:47:55,645 --> 00:47:57,325
Speaker 1: as a recreational.

943
00:47:56,725 --> 00:47:59,285
Speaker 2: Drug, meth And I said no, and she goes, well,

944
00:47:59,485 --> 00:48:00,845
Speaker 2: to be honest, meth isn't the worst.

945
00:48:01,165 --> 00:48:04,085
Speaker 1: You're better to have meth than cigarettes. Oh.

946
00:48:04,165 --> 00:48:09,085
Speaker 3: I was like, imagine, imagine me just casually what like.

947
00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:13,245
Speaker 3: So it's back to the other thing that I think

948
00:48:14,885 --> 00:48:19,005
Speaker 3: is it's a massive industry frightening women. When they're pregnant.

949
00:48:19,605 --> 00:48:23,045
Speaker 3: Oh yes, about what about everything about what you can

950
00:48:23,085 --> 00:48:25,525
Speaker 3: eat and what you blah blah and you. Oh, and

951
00:48:25,565 --> 00:48:28,165
Speaker 3: there's too much information out there the world. There is,

952
00:48:28,885 --> 00:48:31,685
Speaker 3: and it's a list that they're like always adding to.

953
00:48:32,565 --> 00:48:33,045
Speaker 1: Yeah.

954
00:48:33,445 --> 00:48:36,245
Speaker 3: Yeah, but once again, I go seven billion people in

955
00:48:36,325 --> 00:48:40,445
Speaker 3: the world, and there's a lot of soft cheeses that

956
00:48:40,485 --> 00:48:41,485
Speaker 3: have been eaten.

957
00:48:41,765 --> 00:48:46,285
Speaker 2: Right, yes, the I because I've had such a crazy road,

958
00:48:46,365 --> 00:48:48,925
Speaker 2: I refuse to eat anything bad. I'm like, I will

959
00:48:48,965 --> 00:48:51,205
Speaker 2: not eat the soft jeep, I won't eat ruddy eggs,

960
00:48:51,245 --> 00:48:54,645
Speaker 2: I won't eat ham in saying that the day this

961
00:48:54,725 --> 00:48:56,245
Speaker 2: kid comes out of me, I am going to be

962
00:48:56,965 --> 00:49:02,285
Speaker 2: hit hard with some botox, retinol, every kind of.

963
00:49:02,245 --> 00:49:06,965
Speaker 1: Alcohol, and a drive through Maca's meal.

964
00:49:07,365 --> 00:49:09,765
Speaker 2: Oh god, I love McDonald's so much.

965
00:49:10,045 --> 00:49:11,445
Speaker 1: I never loved it more.

966
00:49:11,965 --> 00:49:14,525
Speaker 3: I guarantee no matter where you have the baby, there'll

967
00:49:14,525 --> 00:49:15,845
Speaker 3: be a McDonald's nearby.

968
00:49:16,285 --> 00:49:18,325
Speaker 1: It's the rule of hospitals, I hope.

969
00:49:18,325 --> 00:49:21,925
Speaker 2: So actually that is true. You know what's been really nice? Okay,

970
00:49:22,085 --> 00:49:24,285
Speaker 2: Like where I go to the pharmacy. I used to

971
00:49:24,325 --> 00:49:27,125
Speaker 2: go get all my fertility meds, right, and then I

972
00:49:27,165 --> 00:49:29,965
Speaker 2: went to get all my end demetrios surgery, you know,

973
00:49:30,125 --> 00:49:33,245
Speaker 2: my painkillers, and then I went to go get my

974
00:49:34,205 --> 00:49:36,245
Speaker 2: it was all off. So they know that I'm pregnant

975
00:49:36,245 --> 00:49:39,725
Speaker 2: before anybody else. And the women in the pharmacy are

976
00:49:39,725 --> 00:49:42,045
Speaker 2: just so beautiful and they all got together.

977
00:49:41,725 --> 00:49:44,325
Speaker 1: And they're like, we know, oh my god, you.

978
00:49:44,285 --> 00:49:47,845
Speaker 2: Know all the nurses that saw me for my endo

979
00:49:47,965 --> 00:49:50,365
Speaker 2: surgery and every like both of them, and you know,

980
00:49:50,405 --> 00:49:53,485
Speaker 2: it's so lovely how how much love I've been shown

981
00:49:53,845 --> 00:49:55,925
Speaker 2: and how much support I've been shown.

982
00:49:56,525 --> 00:49:57,765
Speaker 1: And I feel.

983
00:49:58,925 --> 00:50:02,565
Speaker 2: So like grateful for people giving a shit about this story,

984
00:50:03,085 --> 00:50:06,085
Speaker 2: to be honest, Like when I shared it, I thought

985
00:50:06,085 --> 00:50:08,005
Speaker 2: it was going to be like twenty minutes later I

986
00:50:08,005 --> 00:50:09,165
Speaker 2: was gonna have a baby. I thought i'd have a

987
00:50:09,205 --> 00:50:12,085
Speaker 2: far year old by now, the whole story just kind

988
00:50:12,085 --> 00:50:14,685
Speaker 2: of I really didn't see it lasting this long.

989
00:50:15,205 --> 00:50:19,005
Speaker 3: But you know why, because you have invited people in

990
00:50:20,325 --> 00:50:25,005
Speaker 3: and it resonates with you know, it's a universal desire.

991
00:50:25,245 --> 00:50:25,645
Speaker 1: True.

992
00:50:25,885 --> 00:50:30,405
Speaker 3: Without the desire to have children, that's the end of us.

993
00:50:32,325 --> 00:50:36,565
Speaker 3: And it's particularly unusual for someone who has a profile

994
00:50:37,765 --> 00:50:45,845
Speaker 3: to share so openly, yeah, their pain. And it's also

995
00:50:45,925 --> 00:50:49,645
Speaker 3: because you hold a place of affection in people's hearts

996
00:50:49,685 --> 00:50:51,525
Speaker 3: because of your comedic work.

997
00:50:52,565 --> 00:50:58,085
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe people are just so lovely and I'm constantly

998
00:50:58,165 --> 00:51:01,365
Speaker 2: shocked at how many people care, like even just like

999
00:51:01,405 --> 00:51:03,085
Speaker 2: we go for walks and people stop.

1000
00:51:02,925 --> 00:51:03,605
Speaker 1: Us on walks.

1001
00:51:03,805 --> 00:51:06,125
Speaker 2: I guess the thing is, sometimes I'm very confused as

1002
00:51:06,165 --> 00:51:08,045
Speaker 2: to how many people know who I am o K.

1003
00:51:08,165 --> 00:51:10,765
Speaker 2: Because I just like make social media contact by myself.

1004
00:51:10,765 --> 00:51:12,245
Speaker 2: You do radio by yourself.

1005
00:51:11,965 --> 00:51:13,565
Speaker 1: Sort of thing. You know, it's very like, you know,

1006
00:51:13,605 --> 00:51:14,965
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden people know who you're on.

1007
00:51:15,005 --> 00:51:17,685
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, okay, whoops, sorry, I forget.

1008
00:51:18,005 --> 00:51:22,485
Speaker 3: And why are you surprised that people are so loving

1009
00:51:22,565 --> 00:51:23,245
Speaker 3: towards you?

1010
00:51:24,005 --> 00:51:25,965
Speaker 2: Oh, I just didn't think people would kind of care

1011
00:51:26,205 --> 00:51:28,365
Speaker 2: like for people like thumbs up, move on. You know,

1012
00:51:28,445 --> 00:51:31,165
Speaker 2: it's so lovely that people hold space for you. In

1013
00:51:31,205 --> 00:51:34,245
Speaker 2: a world where time is a commodity, caring is like

1014
00:51:34,285 --> 00:51:36,685
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Caring is hard for when

1015
00:51:37,085 --> 00:51:39,005
Speaker 2: you know we've got no time in space for anyone

1016
00:51:39,085 --> 00:51:41,405
Speaker 2: or anything other than ourselves. Often, you know, because life

1017
00:51:41,485 --> 00:51:43,365
Speaker 2: is hard and stressful, and so the fact that someone

1018
00:51:43,365 --> 00:51:46,005
Speaker 2: could remember my name and remember that I went through

1019
00:51:46,045 --> 00:51:48,805
Speaker 2: a struggle then can remember that I got.

1020
00:51:48,645 --> 00:51:50,845
Speaker 1: It to work is kind of amazing in this day

1021
00:51:50,885 --> 00:51:53,645
Speaker 1: and age. It really is. But also because life is

1022
00:51:53,685 --> 00:51:57,245
Speaker 1: hard and stressful, that's why you need a baby.

1023
00:51:57,765 --> 00:52:02,325
Speaker 3: So true, that is just the that is the It's

1024
00:52:02,445 --> 00:52:03,725
Speaker 3: like looking into a fire.

1025
00:52:04,445 --> 00:52:06,685
Speaker 2: Do you miss your babies? Like, do you miss your

1026
00:52:06,725 --> 00:52:07,525
Speaker 2: kids as babies?

1027
00:52:08,565 --> 00:52:14,205
Speaker 3: Ah, I'm not very nostalgic, and I don't know if

1028
00:52:15,285 --> 00:52:21,085
Speaker 3: that is because one of my children nearly died, so

1029
00:52:21,205 --> 00:52:24,525
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's because of that that I'm

1030
00:52:24,565 --> 00:52:30,965
Speaker 3: not particularly Yeah, but I was outside a primary school

1031
00:52:31,005 --> 00:52:34,005
Speaker 3: the other day and I went, oh, do I miss

1032
00:52:34,325 --> 00:52:40,285
Speaker 3: that aspects of it? I do, I think, But also

1033
00:52:40,605 --> 00:52:43,205
Speaker 3: I'm really glad I don't have to do school pickup.

1034
00:52:43,245 --> 00:52:45,725
Speaker 1: Oh my god. But I don't want to put you off.

1035
00:52:46,245 --> 00:52:51,125
Speaker 1: School's great schools. It's not at all like you're going

1036
00:52:51,165 --> 00:52:52,805
Speaker 1: back to school. Girl.

1037
00:52:53,005 --> 00:52:55,165
Speaker 2: I'm so bad at mouth and stuff like that. I

1038
00:52:55,205 --> 00:52:57,405
Speaker 2: don't know what I'm going to do in saying that.

1039
00:52:57,485 --> 00:52:59,725
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to go really narcissistic foot boo

1040
00:52:59,765 --> 00:53:01,925
Speaker 2: quick because I've written kids books. There's no way my

1041
00:53:02,045 --> 00:53:04,965
Speaker 2: kid is not going as Pink Santa. I am going

1042
00:53:05,045 --> 00:53:07,525
Speaker 2: to use my child. There's a little bit of marketing there.

1043
00:53:07,605 --> 00:53:08,885
Speaker 2: Got Pinky's to coming out.

1044
00:53:10,245 --> 00:53:10,685
Speaker 1: In Easter.

1045
00:53:11,045 --> 00:53:14,685
Speaker 3: Well, you know the child is an extinsion of you

1046
00:53:15,045 --> 00:53:18,325
Speaker 3: and an extension of Tom. So the child is going

1047
00:53:18,365 --> 00:53:24,925
Speaker 3: to be more Tom's.

1048
00:53:22,125 --> 00:53:23,085
Speaker 1: Such a lovely man.

1049
00:53:23,125 --> 00:53:25,165
Speaker 2: God, I hope they more Tom than me.

1050
00:53:25,605 --> 00:53:28,325
Speaker 3: Well, how is he, by the way, when you told him?

1051
00:53:28,965 --> 00:53:31,325
Speaker 3: And when did you tell him? Was he with you?

1052
00:53:31,525 --> 00:53:34,925
Speaker 1: Well? Am? I bled on Easter?

1053
00:53:35,485 --> 00:53:37,605
Speaker 2: And so I was like that was four days or

1054
00:53:37,605 --> 00:53:40,325
Speaker 2: five days after the transfers wile I was like, it's chemical,

1055
00:53:40,405 --> 00:53:45,325
Speaker 2: it's not worked again. And then we called the ivy

1056
00:53:45,365 --> 00:53:49,325
Speaker 2: F clinic went in for bloods HGG levels rising and

1057
00:53:49,325 --> 00:53:52,485
Speaker 2: they were like, no, it's actually very positive. Your hCG

1058
00:53:52,565 --> 00:53:56,205
Speaker 2: is almost twins. It's really high. So the blood is nothing,

1059
00:53:56,245 --> 00:53:59,205
Speaker 2: don't worry about it. And so I think people do

1060
00:53:59,285 --> 00:54:01,645
Speaker 2: expect this moment where you tell them, but it's more

1061
00:54:01,685 --> 00:54:07,205
Speaker 2: like like a clock, it's just slowly ticking. And so

1062
00:54:07,365 --> 00:54:09,565
Speaker 2: with my mom and my siblings and stuff like that,

1063
00:54:09,605 --> 00:54:13,045
Speaker 2: there's no moment because they were there. They were there

1064
00:54:13,045 --> 00:54:15,405
Speaker 2: when I bled, and so I was like, okay, so

1065
00:54:15,445 --> 00:54:17,965
Speaker 2: it's positive, but we're not sure and no one, No

1066
00:54:17,965 --> 00:54:21,725
Speaker 2: one goes WHOA because it's six seven days. So it

1067
00:54:21,765 --> 00:54:24,285
Speaker 2: is It is definitely different to a traditional pregnancy. And

1068
00:54:24,285 --> 00:54:27,605
Speaker 2: when I see people do these big announcement videos. I'm like, oh,

1069
00:54:27,605 --> 00:54:29,765
Speaker 2: I'm so kind of jealous in a way, but I

1070
00:54:29,805 --> 00:54:32,165
Speaker 2: would never take back my experience because what I have

1071
00:54:32,245 --> 00:54:37,685
Speaker 2: is so great. But it's definitely different to that reveal

1072
00:54:37,845 --> 00:54:39,725
Speaker 2: or like when he comes home with a pregnancy test

1073
00:54:39,805 --> 00:54:42,685
Speaker 2: it's positive, Like I more tested, So once I found out,

1074
00:54:42,725 --> 00:54:45,325
Speaker 2: I probably went through like seventy pregnancy tests because I

1075
00:54:45,365 --> 00:54:49,445
Speaker 2: would test three or four and if the line got lighter,

1076
00:54:49,485 --> 00:54:54,525
Speaker 2: i'd have a yeah. Like so I'm just like, please stay,

1077
00:54:54,925 --> 00:54:58,165
Speaker 2: please stay with me. And they come to me sometimes

1078
00:54:58,685 --> 00:55:01,645
Speaker 2: in a like acupuncture and stuff like that. I don't

1079
00:55:01,645 --> 00:55:03,845
Speaker 2: have to do that much anymore, and I still do

1080
00:55:03,885 --> 00:55:06,245
Speaker 2: it for stress relief, but I'm asking.

1081
00:55:05,965 --> 00:55:08,765
Speaker 1: What is your name? What is your name?

1082
00:55:08,965 --> 00:55:11,885
Speaker 2: Did you know your kids' names? Do they present them

1083
00:55:11,885 --> 00:55:12,205
Speaker 2: to you?

1084
00:55:12,445 --> 00:55:17,285
Speaker 3: Or I think by number three, we were having trouble. Yeah,

1085
00:55:17,285 --> 00:55:21,005
Speaker 3: and because they came quite rapidly. Yeah, it was the

1086
00:55:21,085 --> 00:55:23,405
Speaker 3: same thing, I think. And because I had my babies

1087
00:55:23,485 --> 00:55:27,285
Speaker 3: quite late, and you know, you hear so much about

1088
00:55:27,325 --> 00:55:32,445
Speaker 3: declining fertility or whatever, we just weren't prepared that when

1089
00:55:32,445 --> 00:55:37,445
Speaker 3: you open the damn wall, what can be waiting behind there.

1090
00:55:37,605 --> 00:55:42,045
Speaker 3: So by number three, we had trouble, but Lewis Lewis

1091
00:55:42,125 --> 00:55:47,525
Speaker 3: was self evident. Yes, fierce Sunday Lewis. We knew because

1092
00:55:47,605 --> 00:55:50,725
Speaker 3: Sunday would have been Lewis's name. If Sunday was if

1093
00:55:50,845 --> 00:55:54,845
Speaker 3: Lewis was a girl, then we had Artie Honore Lewis,

1094
00:55:54,885 --> 00:55:57,805
Speaker 3: who's number three, and then Yarny after my dad.

1095
00:55:58,125 --> 00:55:58,445
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1096
00:55:58,565 --> 00:56:03,125
Speaker 3: Yeah, are you doing family names or well?

1097
00:56:03,285 --> 00:56:05,965
Speaker 2: See, I quite like I was saying this is to

1098
00:56:05,965 --> 00:56:08,205
Speaker 2: your fair. I quite like Hennessy, which is my last

1099
00:56:08,285 --> 00:56:08,605
Speaker 2: name as.

1100
00:56:08,525 --> 00:56:10,725
Speaker 1: A fair, which is a beautiful name. Girl. Is it

1101
00:56:10,765 --> 00:56:13,205
Speaker 1: not Nasa? So like, I feel like I'm so up

1102
00:56:13,525 --> 00:56:17,365
Speaker 1: why I feel like people be like, there's Azili.

1103
00:56:17,165 --> 00:56:20,965
Speaker 3: Nay, but but you know what, people smile true like

1104
00:56:21,205 --> 00:56:26,045
Speaker 3: really although would it be it wouldn't be Hennessy Hennessy, No, but.

1105
00:56:26,045 --> 00:56:29,525
Speaker 2: That would be kind of fierce Very Lewis Lewis.

1106
00:56:29,205 --> 00:56:30,925
Speaker 1: Yeah, very Lewis Lewis.

1107
00:56:31,285 --> 00:56:35,565
Speaker 3: I love it so good you named her him.

1108
00:56:36,205 --> 00:56:38,365
Speaker 2: It's just people must be like, is it a non

1109
00:56:38,365 --> 00:56:39,605
Speaker 2: binary baby?

1110
00:56:40,365 --> 00:56:40,725
Speaker 1: It's not.

1111
00:56:40,885 --> 00:56:43,525
Speaker 2: It's just easier way for me to communicate it because

1112
00:56:43,925 --> 00:56:45,765
Speaker 2: I want to say the gender is so bad, but

1113
00:56:45,805 --> 00:56:47,525
Speaker 2: I don't want to muck myself up.

1114
00:56:48,045 --> 00:56:51,125
Speaker 3: No, don't and I won't make you. What have you

1115
00:56:51,205 --> 00:56:55,525
Speaker 3: learnt about yourself? Do you think that's surprised you.

1116
00:56:56,405 --> 00:56:58,885
Speaker 2: I've always thought I was resilient, and now I know

1117
00:56:59,045 --> 00:57:03,405
Speaker 2: I'm resilient. I think that I've been in parenting boot

1118
00:57:03,405 --> 00:57:07,125
Speaker 2: camp since I decided that I, well, we decided we

1119
00:57:07,165 --> 00:57:08,765
Speaker 2: want to have kids, which was seven years ago. So

1120
00:57:08,805 --> 00:57:11,565
Speaker 2: I feel like, if there's one thing I've learned, it's patience,

1121
00:57:12,325 --> 00:57:15,965
Speaker 2: which I've always struggled with as somebody who does content

1122
00:57:16,125 --> 00:57:20,045
Speaker 2: and creation immediac with immediacy, so patience is something I

1123
00:57:20,085 --> 00:57:23,645
Speaker 2: really struggle with, which is why I have not done

1124
00:57:23,885 --> 00:57:27,005
Speaker 2: film or television because it's very long and it's very annoying.

1125
00:57:28,045 --> 00:57:36,125
Speaker 2: But I've learned patience. I've also learned more better boundaries.

1126
00:57:37,165 --> 00:57:38,725
Speaker 2: I'll tell you the second I got pregnant, I feel

1127
00:57:38,765 --> 00:57:41,445
Speaker 2: like my boundaries and people pleasing shifted.

1128
00:57:41,125 --> 00:57:43,645
Speaker 1: Hard how well.

1129
00:57:43,685 --> 00:57:45,925
Speaker 2: I was like, I no longer can just like listen

1130
00:57:45,965 --> 00:57:48,485
Speaker 2: to people say things that aren't true and just not

1131
00:57:48,565 --> 00:57:52,045
Speaker 2: along because it's easier. I was like, no, IVE got

1132
00:57:52,085 --> 00:57:53,805
Speaker 2: to stand up for myself because I want my kids

1133
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:56,485
Speaker 2: to stand up for themselves and not just keep bowing

1134
00:57:56,525 --> 00:57:59,565
Speaker 2: over to people and people pleasing and just agreeing to

1135
00:57:59,645 --> 00:58:03,085
Speaker 2: be you know what I mean. And I think the

1136
00:58:03,125 --> 00:58:07,405
Speaker 2: other thing I learned is that even before you become

1137
00:58:07,445 --> 00:58:11,485
Speaker 2: a parent, you need a community. Like it takes a

1138
00:58:11,565 --> 00:58:15,565
Speaker 2: village to raise a mother. Mmm, it takes a village

1139
00:58:15,605 --> 00:58:17,005
Speaker 2: to raise a child, but it takes a village to

1140
00:58:17,045 --> 00:58:19,765
Speaker 2: raise a more. And I feel like I've grown up

1141
00:58:19,765 --> 00:58:22,365
Speaker 2: a lot. Sometimes I didn't want to grow up, but

1142
00:58:22,445 --> 00:58:22,765
Speaker 2: I did.

1143
00:58:23,485 --> 00:58:24,005
Speaker 1: I wish it.

1144
00:58:24,485 --> 00:58:26,205
Speaker 2: I wish I didn't have to go through this experience.

1145
00:58:26,245 --> 00:58:28,445
Speaker 2: I wish most people didn't have to go through this.

1146
00:58:28,525 --> 00:58:32,005
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a very lonely agony.

1147
00:58:33,605 --> 00:58:35,645
Speaker 2: It's also really annoying just having to go to the

1148
00:58:35,685 --> 00:58:37,885
Speaker 2: IVF clinically it's six days a week.

1149
00:58:39,325 --> 00:58:39,965
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1150
00:58:40,005 --> 00:58:42,125
Speaker 3: And you know the faith that you were talking about before,

1151
00:58:42,965 --> 00:58:46,245
Speaker 3: at the very least you would think that you can

1152
00:58:46,285 --> 00:58:49,405
Speaker 3: have faith in your body and you don't have that.

1153
00:58:50,245 --> 00:58:52,725
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's a terrible thing.

1154
00:58:53,965 --> 00:58:56,565
Speaker 2: And just nothing is promised, you know, nothing is promised.

1155
00:58:56,565 --> 00:58:59,285
Speaker 2: You grow up. First time I had sex, Kate, I

1156
00:58:59,325 --> 00:59:01,445
Speaker 2: made my boyfriend at the time wear two condoms because

1157
00:59:01,725 --> 00:59:04,325
Speaker 2: I was like, I will not be a teen mother.

1158
00:59:04,965 --> 00:59:07,245
Speaker 1: Girl. That didn't matter. I would not have been a

1159
00:59:07,245 --> 00:59:09,285
Speaker 1: teen mother. I could have slept around a lot.

1160
00:59:10,765 --> 00:59:12,765
Speaker 2: But you know, you don't know that, and you but

1161
00:59:12,965 --> 00:59:15,885
Speaker 2: the narrative where sold is don't have sex because you'll

1162
00:59:15,885 --> 00:59:18,725
Speaker 2: get pregnant, and so you go, I will have children.

1163
00:59:18,925 --> 00:59:20,085
Speaker 1: I will have children.

1164
00:59:21,205 --> 00:59:23,885
Speaker 2: So then it's very shocking to find out that you

1165
00:59:24,205 --> 00:59:27,965
Speaker 2: potentially won't because you think it's going to be your choice.

1166
00:59:28,685 --> 00:59:31,765
Speaker 1: But guess what I know, say it.

1167
00:59:32,485 --> 00:59:36,445
Speaker 2: I will be having a baby. Christmas will be a

1168
00:59:36,565 --> 00:59:39,205
Speaker 2: rough money Christmas. I hope it comes I hope it

1169
00:59:39,205 --> 00:59:40,805
Speaker 2: comes from so I can have.

1170
00:59:40,765 --> 00:59:44,005
Speaker 3: Had Oh my god, you're all twisted up like a pretzel,

1171
00:59:44,085 --> 00:59:46,045
Speaker 3: and yet you're as loose as a goose.

1172
00:59:47,165 --> 00:59:51,845
Speaker 1: You are exactly as you should be. Do you reckon? Yeah? Yeah,

1173
00:59:52,325 --> 00:59:56,165
Speaker 1: this is it. Welcome to not knowing anything.

1174
00:59:56,885 --> 00:59:59,285
Speaker 2: I mean I've never known anything, so now I feel

1175
00:59:59,405 --> 01:00:00,565
Speaker 2: very very comfortable.

1176
01:00:00,765 --> 01:00:05,445
Speaker 3: Hey, what will you whisper to the baby when you

1177
01:00:05,525 --> 01:00:06,365
Speaker 3: meet the baby?

1178
01:00:06,725 --> 01:00:08,845
Speaker 1: I have a song? What's the song?

1179
01:00:09,645 --> 01:00:09,925
Speaker 2: Do you know?

1180
01:00:10,085 --> 01:00:11,445
Speaker 1: Smile by Michael Jackson.

1181
01:00:12,405 --> 01:00:14,165
Speaker 5: See your heart is great?

1182
01:00:14,325 --> 01:00:16,725
Speaker 1: Yes, oh smile even though it's.

1183
01:00:16,565 --> 01:00:22,325
Speaker 5: Breaking, Oh too, when there's a tune that on, there's

1184
01:00:22,365 --> 01:00:26,765
Speaker 5: a time you must keep on trying smile.

1185
01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:32,445
Speaker 1: Yeah, beautiful of that song. Oh that's a beautiful song.

1186
01:00:33,725 --> 01:00:36,165
Speaker 1: You've made me crying.

1187
01:00:36,325 --> 01:00:41,085
Speaker 3: You're like you're desiccated, like a ain't nothing coming out

1188
01:00:41,085 --> 01:00:41,365
Speaker 3: of here.

1189
01:00:44,245 --> 01:00:47,805
Speaker 1: I feel bad for you.

1190
01:00:48,005 --> 01:00:51,325
Speaker 2: I would say, I would say I've waited my whole

1191
01:00:51,365 --> 01:00:54,365
Speaker 2: life to me because I have. I really have waited

1192
01:00:54,365 --> 01:00:59,925
Speaker 2: my whole life to meet to meet them. And I

1193
01:00:59,925 --> 01:01:04,365
Speaker 2: I'm actually like counting the weeks because people count, you know, like, oh,

1194
01:01:04,405 --> 01:01:08,165
Speaker 2: I'm twenty two weeks, I'm nineteen weeks till i can

1195
01:01:08,245 --> 01:01:08,805
Speaker 2: meet them.

1196
01:01:09,325 --> 01:01:13,205
Speaker 1: The other way because I've already waited so long. This

1197
01:01:13,285 --> 01:01:16,765
Speaker 1: is my eighth year, you know. And I'm like yeah,

1198
01:01:17,325 --> 01:01:20,485
Speaker 1: because it's I'm like, hurry up. I want to meet you.

1199
01:01:21,005 --> 01:01:22,245
Speaker 1: I want to take you to Disney.

1200
01:01:22,245 --> 01:01:29,325
Speaker 3: Wow, Tanya Hennessy, you will be in motherhood as you

1201
01:01:29,365 --> 01:01:33,765
Speaker 3: are in life, maniac, a maniac full of joy.

1202
01:01:35,165 --> 01:01:37,165
Speaker 1: It might be a bit stressed. Next time you see me,

1203
01:01:37,485 --> 01:01:39,965
Speaker 1: I might look older and grayer. I don't think so.

1204
01:01:41,005 --> 01:01:44,685
Speaker 1: I think it's having kids keeps you young until it

1205
01:01:44,765 --> 01:01:45,165
Speaker 1: kills you.

1206
01:01:46,085 --> 01:01:53,405
Speaker 2: Great positive parenting, Yeah, well, I think I don't know

1207
01:01:53,405 --> 01:01:53,885
Speaker 2: about that.

1208
01:01:54,005 --> 01:01:57,605
Speaker 1: To be honest, I'm a fan of discipline. Oh me too.

1209
01:01:58,685 --> 01:02:00,685
Speaker 2: I'm also going to make my kids watch care Bears

1210
01:02:00,805 --> 01:02:03,245
Speaker 2: or kid like, I'm going to make him watch eighties

1211
01:02:03,245 --> 01:02:05,845
Speaker 2: staff you will be watching the Land before time?

1212
01:02:07,485 --> 01:02:11,245
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't they got the news shows? Not if you

1213
01:02:11,325 --> 01:02:13,725
Speaker 1: cut off the wi fi? So true?

1214
01:02:14,045 --> 01:02:15,925
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, so weird. The WiFi is down. All

1215
01:02:15,965 --> 01:02:19,405
Speaker 2: you can watch is moms tiktoks.

1216
01:02:21,085 --> 01:02:21,405
Speaker 3: Oh.

1217
01:02:21,445 --> 01:02:24,525
Speaker 1: I wish you every joy, thank you so much.

1218
01:02:24,645 --> 01:02:30,605
Speaker 2: I'm I'm hoping that my my my tears come if

1219
01:02:30,645 --> 01:02:33,205
Speaker 2: I'm honest with you, because it feels like I'm a

1220
01:02:33,205 --> 01:02:34,845
Speaker 2: bit blocked and it hurts.

1221
01:02:35,325 --> 01:02:38,645
Speaker 1: It hurts to not be able to cry. Don't come.

1222
01:02:39,005 --> 01:02:42,125
Speaker 2: Sometimes I put my eyes up to the hair conditioning

1223
01:02:42,645 --> 01:02:44,205
Speaker 2: just to try and make myself cry.

1224
01:02:44,965 --> 01:02:49,885
Speaker 1: It doesn't work. What about when you're watching emotional things? No,

1225
01:02:49,965 --> 01:02:52,445
Speaker 1: I can't cry in therapy. I can't cry anywhere. Really,

1226
01:02:52,605 --> 01:02:55,885
Speaker 1: everyone found out the gender couldn't cry really.

1227
01:02:56,965 --> 01:02:59,165
Speaker 2: Okay, And I'm very connected to my feelings, so I

1228
01:02:59,245 --> 01:03:04,325
Speaker 2: don't know what it's. It's a self protection on another level. Yes, okay, good,

1229
01:03:04,805 --> 01:03:06,805
Speaker 2: But Liz, I'm telling you that list. I'm telling you

1230
01:03:06,885 --> 01:03:10,125
Speaker 2: that it's like I'm aware that it's it's happening. I'm

1231
01:03:10,125 --> 01:03:12,885
Speaker 2: not just some stoic asshole. You are a bit stoic though,

1232
01:03:13,205 --> 01:03:13,925
Speaker 2: Oh you reckon.

1233
01:03:14,245 --> 01:03:18,165
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. I love the stoics. Do you

1234
01:03:19,045 --> 01:03:21,005
Speaker 3: not normally stoic? It's just respects them.

1235
01:03:21,165 --> 01:03:22,085
Speaker 1: It's this point.

1236
01:03:22,205 --> 01:03:24,165
Speaker 2: But you look at what you've done for eight years,

1237
01:03:24,285 --> 01:03:27,325
Speaker 2: you're a stoic. Do you reagon that you are as well?

1238
01:03:27,365 --> 01:03:29,845
Speaker 1: In a way? Yes, I definitely am the Dutch.

1239
01:03:30,405 --> 01:03:34,005
Speaker 2: You know, you're so grounded. You're way more grounded than

1240
01:03:34,045 --> 01:03:34,925
Speaker 2: I have ever been.

1241
01:03:35,125 --> 01:03:42,005
Speaker 3: It's my heavy wooden shoes. Sorry, in a strange what's

1242
01:03:42,005 --> 01:03:49,125
Speaker 3: that expression? Synergy? You met Breathe, the producer of No Filter,

1243
01:03:49,925 --> 01:03:54,325
Speaker 3: on a Disney cruise earlier this year. Yeah, and she

1244
01:03:54,565 --> 01:03:58,285
Speaker 3: had taken her niece and nephew.

1245
01:03:59,005 --> 01:04:02,565
Speaker 1: I think, oh my god, that's so cute. The nephew.

1246
01:04:03,325 --> 01:04:04,725
Speaker 2: The reason that we spoke to each other because the

1247
01:04:04,765 --> 01:04:07,765
Speaker 2: nephew was being sousey and like he was like, guess

1248
01:04:07,765 --> 01:04:09,885
Speaker 2: who I saw Louis and I, oh my god.

1249
01:04:09,845 --> 01:04:11,965
Speaker 1: This kid is cool. Yeah, you're like a sassy kid.

1250
01:04:13,325 --> 01:04:14,245
Speaker 1: Is this boy yours?

1251
01:04:14,325 --> 01:04:16,285
Speaker 2: And she was like, no, it's my nephew, And I

1252
01:04:16,285 --> 01:04:19,205
Speaker 2: was like this kid. I love their energy. I love

1253
01:04:19,285 --> 01:04:20,685
Speaker 2: kids like that, you know, who just walk up to

1254
01:04:20,685 --> 01:04:22,285
Speaker 2: a stranger and tell them some random fact.

1255
01:04:22,725 --> 01:04:25,125
Speaker 3: But at that point. So that was January. You're on

1256
01:04:25,165 --> 01:04:28,925
Speaker 3: a Disney cruise, which is for kids kids.

1257
01:04:29,365 --> 01:04:32,325
Speaker 2: Yeah, and five days earlier, I just had an endo surgery,

1258
01:04:32,365 --> 01:04:35,565
Speaker 2: so I was in a bit of pain and on

1259
01:04:36,405 --> 01:04:39,485
Speaker 2: end don't But the thing is everywhere is full of children,

1260
01:04:39,965 --> 01:04:43,045
Speaker 2: and it's hard because you're like, I wish I could

1261
01:04:43,085 --> 01:04:45,085
Speaker 2: have this, and I want this, and you see all

1262
01:04:45,085 --> 01:04:47,645
Speaker 2: the parents at the pool and like looking up them

1263
01:04:47,685 --> 01:04:49,725
Speaker 2: and they're getting them ice cream, and like someone like

1264
01:04:49,845 --> 01:04:52,445
Speaker 2: Disney Cruise, it's like these kids are having the best time.

1265
01:04:52,605 --> 01:04:55,205
Speaker 2: It's not just a fun time, it's like the ultimate life.

1266
01:04:55,325 --> 01:04:56,925
Speaker 2: And you go, that's why I want to give my

1267
01:04:57,045 --> 01:04:59,845
Speaker 2: kid this so bad. So an experience like that makes

1268
01:04:59,885 --> 01:05:03,605
Speaker 2: me well. It made me like, I'm going to take

1269
01:05:03,645 --> 01:05:06,125
Speaker 2: these bloody intra lipids and I'm going to time everything

1270
01:05:06,205 --> 01:05:09,965
Speaker 2: perfect perfectly to make sure that this one stuck as

1271
01:05:10,045 --> 01:05:12,285
Speaker 2: much as I could. That was did you have a

1272
01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:18,965
Speaker 2: sense that yes, for sure, yes, I've done everything right.

1273
01:05:19,045 --> 01:05:21,605
Speaker 2: I took off all this time. I lost fifty three

1274
01:05:21,725 --> 01:05:26,325
Speaker 2: kilos so and that was an inflammatory thing on.

1275
01:05:26,325 --> 01:05:28,285
Speaker 1: Top of the end of what a response.

1276
01:05:28,525 --> 01:05:32,805
Speaker 3: Was that a response to the drugs or yes, that's

1277
01:05:32,845 --> 01:05:35,805
Speaker 3: a lot, that's a person fifty three kilos.

1278
01:05:35,925 --> 01:05:38,565
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I look, you lost a person and gained

1279
01:05:38,565 --> 01:05:40,125
Speaker 1: a person. Oh my god, I did too.

1280
01:05:42,245 --> 01:05:45,245
Speaker 2: So I timed the endometrios surgery and I was like, buggert,

1281
01:05:45,245 --> 01:05:47,445
Speaker 2: I will be going on a Disney cruise. And then

1282
01:05:47,685 --> 01:05:51,765
Speaker 2: I timed we embryo banked at the end of last

1283
01:05:51,845 --> 01:05:54,925
Speaker 2: year so it would be a fresh transfer, a frozen transfer,

1284
01:05:55,165 --> 01:05:57,205
Speaker 2: which is better for endometrios. So I did a lot

1285
01:05:57,205 --> 01:05:59,965
Speaker 2: of research and then I did the BONDI or the

1286
01:06:00,085 --> 01:06:01,965
Speaker 2: protocol on top of it. So it was like I

1287
01:06:02,285 --> 01:06:06,445
Speaker 2: just was like, this will work. And I changed my mindset.

1288
01:06:06,485 --> 01:06:07,965
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that that works for everybody.

1289
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:09,245
Speaker 1: Yeah my mind right.

1290
01:06:09,365 --> 01:06:11,525
Speaker 2: I had to go, how's it going to look when

1291
01:06:11,525 --> 01:06:13,925
Speaker 2: I put them to bed? How's it going to look

1292
01:06:14,205 --> 01:06:16,605
Speaker 2: when they're you know, when I'm holding them? How am

1293
01:06:16,685 --> 01:06:19,125
Speaker 2: I going to swaddle them? How am I going to

1294
01:06:20,085 --> 01:06:22,205
Speaker 2: breast or bottle feed? And when I really started to

1295
01:06:22,245 --> 01:06:25,925
Speaker 2: imagine it, that's what I think changed for me.

1296
01:06:26,325 --> 01:06:28,165
Speaker 1: How is it going to look when you put them

1297
01:06:28,165 --> 01:06:28,525
Speaker 1: to bed?

1298
01:06:28,805 --> 01:06:30,725
Speaker 2: I wanted to have them next to me in have

1299
01:06:30,805 --> 01:06:33,805
Speaker 2: you seen those those cribs that sort of like lay

1300
01:06:33,845 --> 01:06:35,525
Speaker 2: next and you can put them up and down, and

1301
01:06:35,565 --> 01:06:37,085
Speaker 2: I just was like, oh, I'm going to put them

1302
01:06:37,125 --> 01:06:40,325
Speaker 2: to bed and I'll sing to them. You know, it's

1303
01:06:40,325 --> 01:06:42,845
Speaker 2: an audience of one, and they have to enjoy that.

1304
01:06:42,845 --> 01:06:44,085
Speaker 1: They can't run.

1305
01:06:45,525 --> 01:06:48,685
Speaker 2: You will enjoy the High School musical two soundtracks sung

1306
01:06:48,725 --> 01:06:52,965
Speaker 2: by me, And you know that was really and just

1307
01:06:53,005 --> 01:06:56,165
Speaker 2: watching them go to sleep and their little face and

1308
01:06:56,245 --> 01:07:00,205
Speaker 2: just imagining that really crystallized in my mind. And then

1309
01:07:00,245 --> 01:07:02,685
Speaker 2: I was doing a lot kinesiology where you ask the

1310
01:07:02,725 --> 01:07:03,245
Speaker 2: baby to.

1311
01:07:03,205 --> 01:07:05,245
Speaker 1: Come to you. Ah.

1312
01:07:05,365 --> 01:07:07,725
Speaker 2: The lady said when I did kinesiology this last time,

1313
01:07:07,805 --> 01:07:10,285
Speaker 2: which was two weeks before the transfer, She's like, you

1314
01:07:10,565 --> 01:07:13,485
Speaker 2: don't need any help because you've done it all the work.

1315
01:07:13,605 --> 01:07:14,725
Speaker 1: And I was like, I know.

1316
01:07:15,805 --> 01:07:17,805
Speaker 2: And they put the best embryo in there, and I

1317
01:07:17,845 --> 01:07:21,125
Speaker 2: was like, you will last. And I didn't have any deodorant.

1318
01:07:21,165 --> 01:07:24,485
Speaker 2: I didn't drink Yeah, literally I went without deodorant rank

1319
01:07:24,565 --> 01:07:27,365
Speaker 2: but I didn't want to have any scent. I changed

1320
01:07:27,405 --> 01:07:29,445
Speaker 2: a natural deyoda and I didn't drink any cold water,

1321
01:07:29,645 --> 01:07:30,605
Speaker 2: nothing like I.

1322
01:07:32,045 --> 01:07:36,485
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just looking like she did.

1323
01:07:37,045 --> 01:07:39,965
Speaker 3: No, I'm just looking at you. I'm just looking at you.

1324
01:07:40,445 --> 01:07:44,605
Speaker 3: It makes me really happy when when you finally cry,

1325
01:07:44,965 --> 01:07:45,885
Speaker 3: what's going to happen.

1326
01:07:47,445 --> 01:07:52,085
Speaker 2: It'll be like Noah's Ark. I just won't stop crying,

1327
01:07:52,445 --> 01:07:54,925
Speaker 2: Like I think kids are like open the flood gates

1328
01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:56,045
Speaker 2: and it won't end.

1329
01:07:56,405 --> 01:07:59,525
Speaker 1: Are you more of a sad crier or a happy crier?

1330
01:08:00,165 --> 01:08:03,765
Speaker 2: I will cry at anything, And that's why this is

1331
01:08:03,805 --> 01:08:08,685
Speaker 2: so frustrating, and I'm I hate it. I hate that

1332
01:08:08,725 --> 01:08:11,685
Speaker 2: I can't really I feel like I can't get any release.

1333
01:08:12,045 --> 01:08:15,285
Speaker 2: And also it drives people insane because people like want.

1334
01:08:15,125 --> 01:08:19,365
Speaker 1: Me to cry, I can't. My friends and stuff, they're like,

1335
01:08:19,485 --> 01:08:20,165
Speaker 1: they cry all that.

1336
01:08:20,365 --> 01:08:22,805
Speaker 2: My best two best friends every time they see me,

1337
01:08:22,885 --> 01:08:25,685
Speaker 2: they cry, like my two best mates. They both have children,

1338
01:08:25,845 --> 01:08:28,125
Speaker 2: and every time they see my belly they cry because

1339
01:08:28,125 --> 01:08:30,965
Speaker 2: they've been through it with me. My brother cried.

1340
01:08:31,365 --> 01:08:32,605
Speaker 1: You know, he's thirty two.

1341
01:08:32,725 --> 01:08:35,365
Speaker 2: He's not a cry And my brother found out like

1342
01:08:35,445 --> 01:08:38,205
Speaker 2: it was. It was a long process. But when he thought,

1343
01:08:38,685 --> 01:08:39,965
Speaker 2: you know, when I was up the twelve week mark,

1344
01:08:40,005 --> 01:08:42,725
Speaker 2: he cried at breakfast. My sister in law cries all

1345
01:08:42,765 --> 01:08:44,285
Speaker 2: the time, and they're like, why can't you cry.

1346
01:08:44,325 --> 01:08:48,565
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know it's annoying, you're saving yourself.

1347
01:08:49,365 --> 01:08:52,565
Speaker 3: Yes, well, you know, my mom my dad, it was

1348
01:08:52,685 --> 01:08:56,445
Speaker 3: four years since he died yesterday, and my mom has

1349
01:08:56,485 --> 01:09:01,205
Speaker 3: not cried, and she's also puzzled by the fact that

1350
01:09:01,245 --> 01:09:04,285
Speaker 3: she hasn't cried. And I'm talking about we cried so

1351
01:09:04,485 --> 01:09:09,165
Speaker 3: much at his funeral that the chapel ran out of tissues.

1352
01:09:09,525 --> 01:09:13,805
Speaker 3: So we were all crying. The boys got up and spoke,

1353
01:09:13,925 --> 01:09:16,485
Speaker 3: and everyone was just bereft.

1354
01:09:16,645 --> 01:09:17,485
Speaker 1: And he was old.

1355
01:09:17,765 --> 01:09:20,805
Speaker 3: He was eighty nine, and they obviously think old people

1356
01:09:20,885 --> 01:09:23,965
Speaker 3: don't you don't love. Old people, don't get loved as

1357
01:09:24,045 --> 01:09:26,285
Speaker 3: much as you know, you'd expect to cry like a

1358
01:09:26,325 --> 01:09:32,965
Speaker 3: young person's funeral. But we were just awash with tears,

1359
01:09:33,085 --> 01:09:36,205
Speaker 3: and my mother nothing dry as a dingo.

1360
01:09:36,765 --> 01:09:39,485
Speaker 1: Yeah, and still not, and she doesn't know why.

1361
01:09:40,325 --> 01:09:42,805
Speaker 2: Yes, I thought, maybe there's only so many tears you

1362
01:09:42,845 --> 01:09:45,085
Speaker 2: get in life, and I've already used up all my

1363
01:09:45,165 --> 01:09:46,165
Speaker 2: tears on pregnancy.

1364
01:09:46,605 --> 01:09:47,605
Speaker 1: Oh, you're an idiot.

1365
01:09:49,845 --> 01:09:53,845
Speaker 3: You wait, you're going to be crying like a little bitch.

1366
01:09:54,125 --> 01:09:57,765
Speaker 1: I hope. So I need to rub this with me.

1367
01:09:59,365 --> 01:10:02,645
Speaker 1: You know, it's going to make you cry. Tom with the.

1368
01:10:02,605 --> 01:10:05,965
Speaker 2: Baby girl, even Tom he holds the dog, and I'm like, oh,

1369
01:10:06,005 --> 01:10:06,405
Speaker 2: that's so.

1370
01:10:06,485 --> 01:10:07,605
Speaker 1: Cute, yeah, because he talked.

1371
01:10:07,645 --> 01:10:13,605
Speaker 3: But seeing Tom with the baby, you're gonna cry like

1372
01:10:13,685 --> 01:10:15,285
Speaker 3: someone left the cake out in the room.

1373
01:10:16,365 --> 01:10:17,805
Speaker 1: Hey, one more question.

1374
01:10:17,925 --> 01:10:25,445
Speaker 3: Actually, because you've been on this uncharted track, there have

1375
01:10:25,525 --> 01:10:27,325
Speaker 3: been other people that have been on it with you

1376
01:10:27,685 --> 01:10:28,845
Speaker 3: that you would have gotten to know.

1377
01:10:30,365 --> 01:10:33,925
Speaker 1: How how do you feel? How was it.

1378
01:10:33,885 --> 01:10:39,645
Speaker 3: Telling them that you've finally had success when maybe they haven't.

1379
01:10:40,165 --> 01:10:44,525
Speaker 2: In my experience, every person I had been through the

1380
01:10:44,605 --> 01:10:48,445
Speaker 2: journey with of infertility with and they'd been doing IVF simultaneously.

1381
01:10:48,485 --> 01:10:51,565
Speaker 2: To me, I was the last basically the last one

1382
01:10:51,965 --> 01:10:56,005
Speaker 2: really except for one friend, and I told her and

1383
01:10:57,325 --> 01:10:59,605
Speaker 2: I didn't dread it because I was like, I've just

1384
01:10:59,605 --> 01:11:00,325
Speaker 2: got to tell you and.

1385
01:11:00,285 --> 01:11:02,365
Speaker 1: Just be really honest and straightforward. Yeah.

1386
01:11:02,485 --> 01:11:04,525
Speaker 2: Literally, every other person that was on the journey with

1387
01:11:04,565 --> 01:11:08,605
Speaker 2: me one has a five year old, like, so I was.

1388
01:11:09,605 --> 01:11:10,325
Speaker 1: I'd only had.

1389
01:11:10,205 --> 01:11:13,565
Speaker 2: One friend left and they started later as well, So

1390
01:11:13,605 --> 01:11:19,605
Speaker 2: that's interesting. Most people have had two or three babies

1391
01:11:19,605 --> 01:11:21,765
Speaker 2: in the time that I've tried to have one, which

1392
01:11:22,085 --> 01:11:23,925
Speaker 2: these timestamps are cooked.

1393
01:11:24,325 --> 01:11:27,925
Speaker 3: Well, you know, time just passes, but like you said earlier,

1394
01:11:28,805 --> 01:11:31,205
Speaker 3: if you measure it with a child, you're like, oh,

1395
01:11:31,245 --> 01:11:32,885
Speaker 3: that's what five years looks like.

1396
01:11:33,685 --> 01:11:35,725
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm like, all I've done in five years

1397
01:11:36,365 --> 01:11:38,645
Speaker 2: is sort of just go to and from Dona King

1398
01:11:38,645 --> 01:11:39,365
Speaker 2: Merrickfield Metro.

1399
01:11:40,045 --> 01:11:42,085
Speaker 1: You've done quite a lot right, a little bit more

1400
01:11:42,085 --> 01:11:43,205
Speaker 1: than them, beautiful.

1401
01:11:43,325 --> 01:11:45,165
Speaker 2: Get me out of here, otherwise I'll just talk to

1402
01:11:45,245 --> 01:11:46,405
Speaker 2: Kate till the end of time.

1403
01:11:48,685 --> 01:11:51,005
Speaker 3: Tanya Hennessy is one of those people that, to me

1404
01:11:51,085 --> 01:11:55,045
Speaker 3: feels like she's always been around. She's made us laugh,

1405
01:11:55,165 --> 01:11:58,565
Speaker 3: she's made us cry, She's reminded us just how messy

1406
01:11:58,645 --> 01:12:00,285
Speaker 3: and beautiful life can be.

1407
01:12:01,125 --> 01:12:02,965
Speaker 1: And she shared the hard.

1408
01:12:02,725 --> 01:12:05,765
Speaker 3: Beats, which are sometimes the most difficult parts to share,

1409
01:12:06,405 --> 01:12:12,485
Speaker 3: her endometriosis, her fertility struggles, the long winding road to

1410
01:12:12,565 --> 01:12:18,325
Speaker 3: the destination of this baby, with an honesty that's unflinching and.

1411
01:12:18,365 --> 01:12:19,605
Speaker 1: Real and touching.

1412
01:12:20,565 --> 01:12:24,885
Speaker 3: Today we celebrate her joy, but her story isn't just

1413
01:12:24,965 --> 01:12:28,245
Speaker 3: about a happy ending. It's about resilience and love and

1414
01:12:28,285 --> 01:12:31,525
Speaker 3: the courage to keep going even when life doesn't make

1415
01:12:31,565 --> 01:12:36,685
Speaker 3: it easy. And as always, a little laughter along the

1416
01:12:36,725 --> 01:12:41,605
Speaker 3: way helps more than just about anything else. Be sure

1417
01:12:41,645 --> 01:12:43,565
Speaker 3: to subscribe to No Filter to.

1418
01:12:43,565 --> 01:12:47,325
Speaker 1: Hear more extraordinary stories from the people who have lit them.

1419
01:12:47,845 --> 01:12:50,845
Speaker 3: The executive producer of No Filter is Nama Brown. The

1420
01:12:50,965 --> 01:12:55,445
Speaker 3: senior producer is Bree Player. Audio production is by Jacob

1421
01:12:55,445 --> 01:12:59,125
Speaker 3: Brown and video editing is by Josh Green. This episode

1422
01:12:59,245 --> 01:13:03,605
Speaker 3: was recorded with Session in Progress Studios, and I am

1423
01:13:03,685 --> 01:13:05,245
Speaker 3: your host, Kate

1424
01:13:05,365 --> 01:13:08,605
Speaker 1: Langbrook and I thank you so much for listening.