Speaker 1: We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land we're recording
Speaker 1: on today, Like.
Speaker 2: I really hoped in the future people don't see disability
Speaker 2: as a tragedy or as a negative thing, because from
Speaker 2: my perspective, I had no control over it. So it's
Speaker 2: really hard when people think it's a tragedy. And this
Speaker 2: is just the way I was bored.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to Eat, Sleep, Shit, Repeat the Wildly Unhinged
Speaker 3: Podcast for your Face. I'm Kelly Lee mccaren. You just
Speaker 3: got your podcast mixed up.
Speaker 1: You just said the Wildly Unhinged Podcast for your face.
Speaker 1: I believe that might be a certain beauty podcast that
Speaker 1: you were on. This is the Unhinged podcast all about
Speaker 1: the madness that his mother and atween er.
Speaker 3: Wow. Wow, can you tell I've been on holidays? Yes,
Speaker 3: I Darlet's what's your name?
Speaker 1: My name is Kirie Searles. And I was just gonna
Speaker 1: say unhinged a bit of an understan now, but I
Speaker 1: don't even think I need to say it because I
Speaker 1: think we just.
Speaker 3: Prove proved it. Whereas I'm like, I've got no idea
Speaker 3: what podcast recorday is it? In case you missed it.
Speaker 1: Last week, we spoke about toxic diet culture and the
Speaker 1: fact that we grew up possibly daly fucked time we did,
Speaker 1: and now we're trying to parent.
Speaker 3: Oh so we.
Speaker 1: Talked about that. I really loved that episode. Did same
Speaker 1: quick shout out just to rate and review us so
Speaker 1: we can grow the pod even more.
Speaker 3: I feel like I requested that last week and I
Speaker 3: got like one, So I.
Speaker 1: Know that's not lovely, Like we love that person.
Speaker 3: Listen, don't say that I'm ungrateful. I love that person, but.
Speaker 1: We'd like maybe five to ten more of those. That
Speaker 1: would be great.
Speaker 3: Thank you, because we know that.
Speaker 1: You love it because you churning in each week exactly.
Speaker 3: Later on in the episode, we have such an important
Speaker 3: conversation coming up that we have wanted to have probably
Speaker 3: for a year. We actually spoke to our guest about
Speaker 3: it about a year ago. She is incredible. But first,
Speaker 3: I'm up for Peak and Pit. Yeah you are, duh,
Speaker 3: and it's Bali edition. Woo my pitch. Shall I kick
Speaker 3: it off to pitch? My year of health isn't going well.
Speaker 3: It is November.
Speaker 1: Yeah, shit, we've got two months left of the year.
Speaker 3: Oh no, So I picked up something in the hospital. Surprise, surprise,
Speaker 3: six weeks ago or two months ago, whenever that was.
Speaker 1: That's right, because before you left six hours yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: five or six.
Speaker 3: Weeks ago, and it turned into a really bad chest
Speaker 3: infection that I, to be honest, still haven't completely shaken.
Speaker 3: Like I'm still coughing a fair bit, even though I've
Speaker 3: done full course of antibody. Yeah, I've had that many
Speaker 3: cough syrups and blah blah blah. Question. Last night, my
Speaker 3: back hurts so much from all of the coffee. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that I had to pull out the big guns with
Speaker 3: the pain meds.
Speaker 1: It packs a punch.
Speaker 3: It packs a punch. Do they go off because they
Speaker 3: say that they expired? But it's like, how could a
Speaker 3: hard capsule really expire?
Speaker 1: Does it just expirey or like best before used by?
Speaker 3: I think it says expiry Maybe just means it won't
Speaker 3: be as effective.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that'd probably it was it affected No, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Anyway, So I've just been in a lot of pain.
Speaker 3: It's awful being the coughing person because you do not
Speaker 3: want to be the coughing person.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So for weeks before I was leaving, I had to
Speaker 3: go into Muma Mia to record, Like I don't want
Speaker 3: to sit in a studio coughing all over someone because
Speaker 3: I feel so anxious if someone does that to me.
Speaker 3: But I could not scream it from the rooftops loud enough.
Speaker 3: I was not contagious. It's just that I could not
Speaker 3: get rid of this cough and then being on the
Speaker 3: plane having the cough. Oh my god. Out at restaurants
Speaker 3: in Balley, like people just oh the looks fair enough.
Speaker 3: I would look at someone like that totally.
Speaker 1: It's just like you need to wear like a little
Speaker 1: name time. I've got a chest infection.
Speaker 3: I'm not contagious everyone. So I was just feeling a
Speaker 3: little bit under the weather because of that. Just very
Speaker 3: sore and sick of coughing. I took my puffer though
Speaker 3: that actually did help. I was so tired. I slept
Speaker 3: for ten hours minimum every night, plus an app with
Speaker 3: Lenny most days. What is that?
Speaker 1: Just the heat though, because I do get sometimes on holidays,
Speaker 1: and the humidity.
Speaker 3: It just whacks you. I was absolutely whacked because it
Speaker 3: was wet, season y, so hot. In our mind, we
Speaker 3: were like, oh my gosh, after Len goes to bed
Speaker 3: every night, we'll like go out to the pool, Yeah,
Speaker 3: have some sex, maybe try to get back on the horse.
Speaker 3: I was asleep.
Speaker 1: You were not on the horse.
Speaker 3: I was not on the horse. I also think I
Speaker 3: have badger miss or whatever that's vagines mess, like my vagina.
Speaker 3: We did try to have the sex a few times,
Speaker 3: didn't work.
Speaker 1: It does make sense because that is a result of trauma,
Speaker 1: and I feel like if you've had.
Speaker 3: And then when I went to my energy healer, oh
Speaker 3: oh you went back. I did would She was, well,
Speaker 3: that's a whole other tail. But she was saying, oh,
Speaker 3: you've got a lot of trauma. She was dealing with
Speaker 3: my womb. And then she was trying to get me
Speaker 3: to do these flutters with my thighs and I didn't
Speaker 3: even realize, but like I actually clenched them voluntary. I
Speaker 3: don't even realize that I'm doing it. Like everything down
Speaker 3: there is very tense. So yeah, I don't know. I've
Speaker 3: got to figure that out at some point. And now
Speaker 3: I've got bloody thrush, I think because it's very itchy
Speaker 3: even though I didn't have the sex, but I was
Speaker 3: in the wet swimmers and on the antibiotics.
Speaker 1: Fuck, yeah, the thrush gets here, doesn't want itchy? Yeah good,
Speaker 1: it's not good. You just got to get a little pesrie.
Speaker 3: I've got some in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: It's very uncomfortable, but it works with trees.
Speaker 3: This is just a bit of a moan session basically
Speaker 3: at this point. And then at the end, I kid
Speaker 3: you not. So Night four, we ate out at a
Speaker 3: nice restaurant but outside the resort, and Luke got Bali belly.
Speaker 3: And I was like absolutely roasting him for the next
Speaker 3: few days because I just I'm such a bitch. Sometimes.
Speaker 3: I was like, you've just got a really weak stomach,
Speaker 3: don't you because you get sick a lot.
Speaker 1: It's violent.
Speaker 3: It's violent. I'd never been sea overseas. Then, you know,
Speaker 3: I'm just saying all of this stuff. Well, Karma had
Speaker 3: some ideas. No, So the next time we decided to
Speaker 3: eat outside of the resort, who got Barlei belly? Kelly Le,
Speaker 3: Kelly Lee.
Speaker 1: On a scale of one to ten, it.
Speaker 3: Wasn't actually that bad because Luke recognized the signs. And
Speaker 3: then they called shout out Bali Mandeira. If you're looking
Speaker 3: for a family friendly resort in Bali, so good, pretty
Speaker 3: reasonably priced. Yeah, the medical came to the room and
Speaker 3: then they were like, listen, your blood pressures eighty over
Speaker 3: sixty and you're really dehydrated. We're going to IVU and
Speaker 3: then also give you the needles to stop everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, kind of gashtro stop vibes.
Speaker 3: It's the anti noisy, anti cramping, anti vomiting.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, that's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know exactly what it was. I said, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm not sure I would advise trying to go for
Speaker 3: the veins. Yeah, it's the needles. And then in my mind,
Speaker 3: I'm thinking the last time you were in the hospital,
Speaker 3: my goodness, and then I start spiraling about that. But
Speaker 3: then I was doing my breath work that my energy
Speaker 3: healer had taught me. So Luke and LENNI are outside
Speaker 3: in the pool and they can just hear me inside
Speaker 3: going practicing my breath work. Wown into a chicken and
Speaker 3: then they're looking around for a vein. They're like, you've
Speaker 3: got nothing. I said, I'm aware, and I'm also dehydrated
Speaker 3: with the low broad plassure you said, so have fun
Speaker 3: sled up and then they said, oh, we found one
Speaker 3: in your hand. I said, oh, good luck. Really wouldn't
Speaker 3: advise it, but go for gold. And they're putting it
Speaker 3: in there and I'm ho and then I'm like, here's
Speaker 3: it done? Is it done? They said no, it keeps
Speaker 3: collapsing every time we and I just said stop stop.
Speaker 3: I will drink a lot of water, I promise. And
Speaker 3: they said, ah, what about ones in the bum? I said,
Speaker 3: you can put a needle anywhere else, you like, just
Speaker 3: not in a vein. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was thinking, why can't they just jab you? Like,
Speaker 1: does it have to be in a vein if it's
Speaker 1: an IV or the ivy of course yet, but the
Speaker 1: other anti nause yet.
Speaker 3: Et cetera. They were like, a butt can go in
Speaker 3: the butt and I she didn't really understand my sense
Speaker 3: of humor. I asked her if she had a cheek preference.
Speaker 3: She looked really embarrassed on my behalf and yeah, so listen,
Speaker 3: I just wasn't that well. But peak was. I have
Speaker 3: no regrets. Oh my god, Lenny. It was so nice
Speaker 3: to spend time as a family, even though by the
Speaker 3: end I was like, get me away from both of
Speaker 3: you please. Of course you really realize you don't actually
Speaker 3: get you know, you get an hour break here or
Speaker 3: there to go get a massage. Oh, there's a lot
Speaker 3: of family time yeah, it's a bit too long.
Speaker 1: We're in day like.
Speaker 3: Four days a week, day, four days a week, and
Speaker 3: both of us work full time, so we haven't had
Speaker 3: a date in eight months, let alone ten days non stop.
Speaker 3: That was fun. It was a bit too long for
Speaker 3: Luke and Lenny.
Speaker 1: How long was it altogether?
Speaker 3: Ten days? Yeah, they were, They're about five days, both
Speaker 3: of them. Very similar personalities. I forgot how good I am.
Speaker 3: I've been on holidays, you know how lots of people
Speaker 3: say I just can't switch off so bad, you know,
Speaker 3: taking a break. I am very good at it. Like
Speaker 3: I said, slept ten hours a night, read some books.
Speaker 3: That's what a holiday should be. Though I could not
Speaker 3: without some emails come through and was.
Speaker 1: Like, lol, no, you had your out of office on though,
Speaker 1: which I.
Speaker 3: Did, had my out of still checking it. But I
Speaker 3: literally could not have given two ships about anything that
Speaker 3: came through. I think I responded to like one thing, Yeah,
Speaker 3: but that's so good.
Speaker 1: That's what a holiday should be.
Speaker 3: Everything for SSR was like scheduled except for one reel
Speaker 3: which I posted and I was like, oh, so please
Speaker 3: go and give the Instagram posts some love, like the
Speaker 3: engagement sucks guys, and I am fucking funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you do a great job.
Speaker 3: I'm so funny. Pregnancy complaints that I posted the one
Speaker 3: you're the only person sometimes it does. Sorry, listen to this.
Speaker 3: The complaint is I developed in a version to the
Speaker 3: smell of my partner. The paired song was then lightning crotch,
Speaker 3: I'm so funny, so much fluid retention, the Berk's imprinted
Speaker 3: on the toots, the indignity song choice. I put so
Speaker 3: much work into song choice, go and put the little bell.
Speaker 1: On so then you never miss one.
Speaker 3: From little things growl. That was for my cute nipples
Speaker 3: turned into Pepperoni slices. Listen, I'm not expecting a lot.
Speaker 3: But when I put so much effort into being fucking
Speaker 3: funny and scheduling content for you, shit.
Speaker 1: Is yeah, while comment, a couple of lolls start the page,
Speaker 1: so then you get a notification when kel.
Speaker 3: When the posts, I mean listen, not all of them.
Speaker 3: Some of the posts are just like, hey, there's a
Speaker 3: new episode. But if you're subscribed you should know that anyway,
Speaker 3: you know. But no regrets, no regrets. I'm great at
Speaker 3: doing holidays. I love Bali so much, even though Bali belly.
Speaker 3: But you know you live and you learn I get
Speaker 3: sick in Sydney. Yeah, it was just a really beautiful trip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Lenn loved it for.
Speaker 3: The first five days. For the first five days, no,
Speaker 3: then after that he was just so happy to be
Speaker 3: with us. But he was very much so looking forward
Speaker 3: to going home and like kept asking to see his
Speaker 3: cousins and Percy and stuff. He sent me the most
Speaker 3: beautiful message though, she said that just means he really
Speaker 3: loves his life. He does, which is so cute. It
Speaker 3: is whereas I'm like, I could stay here forever. What
Speaker 3: does that say that you need to go on more holidays?
Speaker 3: That I definitely need to go on more holidays. Also
Speaker 3: shout out BALI is a hub of shitters? What and
Speaker 3: you bies? Oh my goodness, I met more people over there,
Speaker 3: or more people messaged me saying hey, saw you in
Speaker 3: straight or something. Then like I would get in Sydney
Speaker 3: in a month. Oh my god, that's so excited. It
Speaker 3: was so fun. I love that and it just made
Speaker 3: me so happy. Like people say, oh, I'm so sorry
Speaker 3: to say hello, or so sorry to be weird, or
Speaker 3: so sorry I am not a celebrity, as I was
Speaker 3: saying to someone at the airport, like, you know, it's
Speaker 3: ten o'clock at night. I'm so unhinged my hair, like
Speaker 3: I just I'm like hissing at Luke. I'm rolling my
Speaker 3: eyes and so exasperated with Lenny because he kept throwing
Speaker 3: something and I was just a mess of a human.
Speaker 3: And then someone said, hey, I'm a shitter, and she
Speaker 3: was just so lovely. Had a big old laugh with
Speaker 3: her and husband, you actually made my day. And as
Speaker 3: I said to her, because she's like, oh, I didn't
Speaker 3: know if I should say anything. I'm not a celebrity.
Speaker 3: Content creators. We put things out into the world and
Speaker 3: we don't often get much back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's such a good point.
Speaker 3: So you know how like with a normal job, your
Speaker 3: boss or your colleagues, or you've got a lot of
Speaker 3: people that are like, oh my god, loved that or
Speaker 3: great job, or customers or whatnot. But actually meeting faces
Speaker 3: rather than just oh this episode got this many downloads
Speaker 3: or it means the world to put faces to the
Speaker 3: numbers and meet the community. So please never apologize or
Speaker 3: never feel like you can't say hello, because it literally
Speaker 3: makes my day. And I feel like he would say
Speaker 3: the same thing always.
Speaker 1: And Charlie's always liked.
Speaker 3: Luke embarrasses me so much. Though he'll call out or
Speaker 3: was that a fan? It actually was? He goes one time.
Speaker 3: He actually has done it more than once. He'll be like,
Speaker 3: do you want a photo with it? And I'm like,
Speaker 3: he's my biggest cheerleader. I'm like, no, no, no, Luke,
Speaker 3: I'm not a Kardashian, I'm not even what's an Australian
Speaker 3: celebrity that I'm not Delta Gudrum, Like, no one wants
Speaker 3: a photo with me. They just want to say hello.
Speaker 3: I like the podcast.
Speaker 1: Well, remember when I used to run on the beach
Speaker 1: do Sandy? Sure that was a bullet It was literally
Speaker 1: three years ago almost, and was like can I get
Speaker 1: a photo? And I was like, I fuck, looks so
Speaker 1: banged up and broad right now.
Speaker 3: And I was like absolutely, but absolutely. But my face
Speaker 3: every time I have been asked for a photo is
Speaker 3: so gleeful, like I'm just so toughed. I can't believe
Speaker 3: it someone wants a photo with little old me. So
Speaker 3: it was just so great and I love that so
Speaker 3: many other shitters were loving the Bali lifestyle question. I
Speaker 3: don't know if you're going to be annoyed at me
Speaker 3: for asking you this. What you'll be like, Oh, I'm
Speaker 3: not the token black lady with the cultural question.
Speaker 1: Okay, one of these ones, yeah, go on braids.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're everywhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah they are.
Speaker 3: And I could not believe how many people in Bali
Speaker 3: had them. Everyone on the street is offering them. They
Speaker 3: even wanted to put them in Lenny's hair. And I'm like, bro,
Speaker 3: has like an inch. That's some sharp skills. If you're
Speaker 3: going to do a braid in an inch of hair.
Speaker 1: It is a bit I get a bit of a
Speaker 1: oh when I see people do it, But I also
Speaker 1: understand that it's become like such a norm, like you
Speaker 1: go to Bali and you get hair braided, So I
Speaker 1: understand why people do it. I don't think there's any
Speaker 1: like ill intent behind it, but it does make me
Speaker 1: feel a certain way because it is cultural appropriation cruit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like those islands that you go to like
Speaker 1: Fiji and things like that, Like it's just a thing
Speaker 1: that's kind of.
Speaker 3: Like these stupid white people. Yeah, and then.
Speaker 1: Indonesian people are just offering up something because it's like
Speaker 1: that kind of experience as well.
Speaker 3: And so kids, we've laughed before about my mum. It
Speaker 3: wasn't you know, we didn't know that it was cultural
Speaker 3: appropriation back then, but my mum, bless her heart. I
Speaker 3: think I've told this story on the pod before. Like,
Speaker 3: my parents were always very good with money and very
Speaker 3: yeah budgeted, so they were kind of like, we are
Speaker 3: absolutely not paying for you to get your hair braided,
Speaker 3: because I remember it was very expensive.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So my mum when we would get back from
Speaker 3: Fiji would spend like three hours doing the braids with
Speaker 3: the beads and everything on me and my sister's hair
Speaker 3: so that we could go to school to be obviously
Speaker 3: we've been in Fiji.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but like would rouget braids. It's not something
Speaker 1: that I would probably let rude it. Okay, she's white presenting,
Speaker 1: so I wouldn't be getting braids on her.
Speaker 3: It would make me feel a bit weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no judgment to anyone else. I understand that
Speaker 1: it isn't with ill and ten, it just doesn't.
Speaker 3: It's a bit weird for me because I saw it
Speaker 3: so often over there, and I just even more so
Speaker 3: than other times I've been maybe because I was staying
Speaker 3: in a family friendly area, so it was just like
Speaker 3: every single kid had braids. But then I was kind
Speaker 3: of like, also, I actually understand the pros if you've
Speaker 3: got a daughter with lots of hair on.
Speaker 1: My hair was awful on holiday, Like you don't have
Speaker 1: to do anything to their with the heat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it never dries, so braids is actually kind
Speaker 3: of like. But then I guess you could. I saw
Speaker 3: lots also with just who I reckon they a little
Speaker 3: Dutch's fine, right, I mean, I still do just appropriate
Speaker 3: the Dutch. Yeah, are you cranky for me asking you?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 1: Oh I'm never cranky for you asking as.
Speaker 3: Okay, I wanted your perspective on that, and also for
Speaker 3: anyone listening. I guess it's an thing to think about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, And look, as I said, I don't think
Speaker 1: people are going to be up in arms about it if.
Speaker 3: You do it. I culturally appropriated all of the white
Speaker 3: bogans and.
Speaker 1: Your little shirt.
Speaker 3: What did it say? It says it's black with pink
Speaker 3: neon writing, and it says, don't ask me why I'm drunk.
Speaker 3: When I don't ask you why you're stupid. It's so
Speaker 3: good anyway, great trip. I'm clearly in a bit of
Speaker 3: a rogue mood. I love it though.
Speaker 1: I think you've just got like a bit more energy
Speaker 1: to get through the rest of the year. Like that's
Speaker 1: so nice, you.
Speaker 3: Know, even with my chronic back pain now from the coffee.
Speaker 1: I know, I know.
Speaker 3: Did you take lots of pics?
Speaker 1: You're gonna make him a little book of his first holiday?
Speaker 3: I will, but I didn't because I wasn't on my
Speaker 3: phone much. No content.
Speaker 1: That's good though, oh.
Speaker 3: Like I suck as a content creator sometimes. But I
Speaker 3: was like, no, well.
Speaker 1: That's why I didn't post any pictures of Europe because
Speaker 1: there are none of me. I took them all of Charlie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's heaps. Actually there's not even heaps of land
Speaker 3: and Luke. Like, I just didn't have my phone on me. Really,
Speaker 3: that's nice sort and like things because I wanted to show.
Speaker 3: I knew that I would get DMS about the resort.
Speaker 3: And the only reason I knew to book there is
Speaker 3: because I had a friend of a friend say, hey,
Speaker 3: this resort is perfect for families. So two keeps at that.
Speaker 3: But like, yeah, I just switched off, Yeah, which is true.
Speaker 1: You need to anyway.
Speaker 3: Let's get into the episode.
Speaker 1: You're out for the day with your kid in toe
Speaker 1: and suddenly you hear mummy, you answer yes, darling, why
Speaker 1: can't that lady walk? And all you're thinking is you
Speaker 1: can't ask that.
Speaker 3: I'm sure that many of our shitters have been in
Speaker 3: a situation like that, or just a situation in general,
Speaker 3: where someone's your child says something that you just immediately
Speaker 3: just die a little bit inside. Oh my goodness. Lenny
Speaker 3: once said what's someone doing? And then the man got
Speaker 3: closer and it was clearly just a lady, Oh my god,
Speaker 3: and she heard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awful, isn't it, But like he didn't anyway,
Speaker 1: they don't mean it, they don't mean it. Well, that
Speaker 1: phrase that I mentioned inspired an award winning series on
Speaker 1: the ABC, and we're going to link it in the
Speaker 1: show notes if you haven't seen it.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. It's honestly like, I would love to
Speaker 3: do a podcast series of people dealing with kids because
Speaker 3: it's such a good show.
Speaker 1: It is so good and each episode they basically feature
Speaker 1: a group of marginalized and misundersood Australians and they're presented
Speaker 1: with a stack of question cards that have been everyone
Speaker 1: wants to ask but well, and their anonymous online questions.
Speaker 1: So people really let it rip, and it's relating to
Speaker 1: their topic of that marginalized group. So the idea is
Speaker 1: to kind of ask the most outrageous, uncomfortable questions to
Speaker 1: uncover the truth behind.
Speaker 3: Like what it's actually like for these groups of people.
Speaker 1: And spark a bit of compassion and just understanding. It's fantastic.
Speaker 1: So this series, together with our incredible guest, disability advocate
Speaker 1: Peter Hook, who will hear from in a minute, has
Speaker 1: inspired this episode. I wanted to play a piece of
Speaker 1: audio from series one. It's the episode on wheelchair users,
Speaker 1: and here's what one of the lovely guests said when asked,
Speaker 1: why are you in a wheelchair?
Speaker 4: I can see a kid on the street pointing me
Speaker 4: and asking questions to the mom or their dad, and
Speaker 4: you see the mom or dad sort of saying, you know,
Speaker 4: don't don't don't point, don't look, don't ask, and they
Speaker 4: think they're being polite, but really what they're doing is
Speaker 4: titching their child that my disability and my wheelchair I
Speaker 4: still think to be ignored.
Speaker 3: Gosh, I wonder if you know the answer to that
Speaker 3: is going up and asking well yeah.
Speaker 1: And we do talk to Peter later, who gives us
Speaker 1: a little bit of insight on that, which I.
Speaker 3: Think's really good.
Speaker 1: So it is impossible, though to predict what your kids
Speaker 1: are going to say. But the thing that we have
Speaker 1: to remember is how we respond on these moments informs
Speaker 1: the way that your kid will think about disabilities moving forward,
Speaker 1: Like this is the foundation of how they are going
Speaker 1: to interact, see, talk about, and understand people with disabilities
Speaker 1: within the community.
Speaker 3: Do you know what though this conversation, because we did
Speaker 3: record this conversation last week, I needed this conversation even
Speaker 3: as an adult. So this isn't even just how to
Speaker 3: talk to your kids. Like I lived with someone for
Speaker 3: several months. It didn't have an arm or a leg,
Speaker 3: and not one point did I ask anything about it,
Speaker 3: because I was like, I don't know, should I should
Speaker 3: I not? Yeah, And I think the thing I knew
Speaker 3: him as well wasn't just like a few months living together.
Speaker 3: I knew him for years.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And you never want to point something out, But I
Speaker 1: think what's really interesting about actually talking to people with
Speaker 1: disabilities is like that's their life. They don't want that
Speaker 1: to be this thing we don't.
Speaker 3: Talk about exactly.
Speaker 1: It should be addressed anything else about a person. So
Speaker 1: how can we answer questions and have conversations around disabilities
Speaker 1: to teach our kids to be more accepting and inclusive
Speaker 1: of the diverse ways that people show up in the world.
Speaker 1: The work really begins at home and to help us
Speaker 1: have these conversations and answer questions, we have the lovely
Speaker 1: Peter Hook on the show today. Really quick, did you
Speaker 1: know that one and five Australians have a disability? Yet
Speaker 1: many people don't believe that they know anyone with a disability,
Speaker 1: So we actually pulled that stat from Peter's website. Thank
Speaker 1: you Pete.
Speaker 3: About Peter, she says, to think.
Speaker 1: Of her as your friendly girl next door who has
Speaker 1: a disability. Sarah wil Palsy. She was tired of being
Speaker 1: asked by strangers on the street, what happened to you?
Speaker 1: So she created the I Can't Stand podcast. We'll linkering
Speaker 1: in the show notes to not only answer questions about
Speaker 1: living with a disability, but to also bring an amazing
Speaker 1: disabled guest to hear what the life is.
Speaker 3: Like for them and their incredible stories. It's such a
Speaker 3: good podcast.
Speaker 1: And Peter even says like she learns so much from
Speaker 1: other people's stories, so that just shows you how to
Speaker 1: the stories are from people who live with disabilities, so welcome, Peter.
Speaker 3: So what happened to you was the question that inspired
Speaker 3: you to launch your own pod, the I Can't Stand Podcast?
Speaker 3: Do you have a story you can share of a
Speaker 3: real parenting fail when someone's child asked that question in
Speaker 3: the wild?
Speaker 1: Do you know?
Speaker 2: Actually, ladies? Most of the time, those are adults asking
Speaker 2: those questions. So I get it all the time. I'd
Speaker 2: only have to go out for a coffee and wait
Speaker 2: for my long black and someone would ask me, oh,
Speaker 2: what happened to you? So when it's a child, it's like, great,
Speaker 2: I know how to handle this. Curiosity is a natural thing,
Speaker 2: but when it's an adult, it gets really tiring. So
Speaker 2: I sort of felt like there had to be a
Speaker 2: more efficient way to educate the public of what it's
Speaker 2: actually like to be disabled, because clearly there's a knowledge
Speaker 2: gap there, right.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, definitely, because I think in these situations, people
Speaker 5: have the best intentions and asking and even if they're
Speaker 5: kid us and they have the best intentions of trying
Speaker 5: to like de escalate the situation, not wanting to kind
Speaker 5: of embarrass or they don't really know what to say.
Speaker 5: I think it comes from not understanding what to actually
Speaker 5: say in the situation. What can parents do in these
Speaker 5: situations instead, or adults in general, because we're talking to
Speaker 5: parents and adults.
Speaker 2: Well, first and foremost say hello, yes, you know, introduce
Speaker 2: to yourself, you know, and also.
Speaker 3: Don't just storm up to you and go, oh, what happened?
Speaker 2: But it's so true, so many people just walk up
Speaker 2: to you and say, hey, what happened? And it's like,
Speaker 2: I'm really lucky my disability has no trauma connected to
Speaker 2: it whatsoever. But that's not the case for everyone. So
Speaker 2: I really feel for people that get usked that on
Speaker 2: a daily basis and they have to go, oh, actually,
Speaker 2: I don't really want to talk about that, So be
Speaker 2: prepared to, you know, not get an answer that's okay.
Speaker 2: We don't have did necessarily disclose what happened to us,
Speaker 2: say hello. And just when I speak to a child
Speaker 2: in particular, I change my answer depending on how old
Speaker 2: the child is, so I'm really cognizant to make sure
Speaker 2: it's age appropriate. So, for example, if your little ones
Speaker 2: came up to me, Lenny and Rue, because they're really little,
Speaker 2: I don't want to make it too much for them
Speaker 2: to take in I don't want it to be a
Speaker 2: scary experience or like they shouldn't have asked the question.
Speaker 2: So I would say to them something like, do you
Speaker 2: know what you could walk? And I can't, and that's
Speaker 2: why I use this really cool thing called a wheelchair,
Speaker 2: really simple, so.
Speaker 5: It's age appropriate descriptions that they're going to understand and
Speaker 5: not be overwhelmed by.
Speaker 2: For sure. I was asked by a seven year old
Speaker 2: once whether my disability was genetic. I was very impressed
Speaker 2: with that question. Yes, it's not. For those who don't know,
Speaker 2: Sarah palsy occurs in the womb or at birth and
Speaker 2: it's around lack of oxygen. So in my case, I
Speaker 2: was born at twenty eight weeks, so I was very premature.
Speaker 2: So I just basically didn't breathe quick enough and that's
Speaker 2: why I have my disability.
Speaker 3: What a fighter though twenty eight weeks?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, But there's so many of us, you know,
Speaker 2: and that's what I've really learned about through my podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm really not that special. There's a lot of people
Speaker 2: that have amazing stories and we just get on with
Speaker 2: life and a lot of us really love our life
Speaker 2: and it's not a negative thing like I really hope
Speaker 2: in the future people don't see disability as a tragedy
Speaker 2: or as a negative thing, because from my perspective, I
Speaker 2: had no control over it. So it's really hard when
Speaker 2: people think it's a tragedy and this is just the
Speaker 2: way I was bored.
Speaker 5: Yeah, interesting, isn't it. I think often it's like the
Speaker 5: language and not knowing what to say or how to say.
Speaker 5: And I think obviously different marginalized or misunderstood groups, the
Speaker 5: terms and the words that we use evolve over time,
Speaker 5: and that's something I've noticed with people, just like I
Speaker 5: feel like because I worked in media for so long,
Speaker 5: because I have a lot of younger friends who are
Speaker 5: very up on correct terminology to be using. I know,
Speaker 5: like how to describe different disabilities of people that I meet,
Speaker 5: but I know that when I'm just around my friends
Speaker 5: sometimes the words that they use, I'm like, oh, that
Speaker 5: you can't actually say that anymore. I'm really interested to
Speaker 5: hear some of the do's and don'ts of disability language
Speaker 5: because I think that when you're a parent and you
Speaker 5: get asked this question from your kid, it's important that
Speaker 5: you get those key words right because often that's kind
Speaker 5: of forming the foundation of how they're going to go
Speaker 5: on to understand disabilities for sure.
Speaker 2: So first and foremost, I want to put a trigger
Speaker 2: warning in this section and say, I'm going to say
Speaker 2: some words that I wouldn't necessarily say, but yeah, educational purposes,
Speaker 2: I'm going to say them. And if you have any
Speaker 2: questions of why you shouldn't ask them, like, please let
Speaker 2: me know. That's why I'm here. First and foremost. I
Speaker 2: hear it a lot, particularly around and I don't want
Speaker 2: to be stereotypical, but men still use the word retard
Speaker 2: a lot. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, even some of my male friends.
Speaker 2: I still pull them up and go, oh, we don't
Speaker 2: say that anymore, you know, So I really try and say, like,
Speaker 2: instead of using the word retard, maybe use the word silly.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it was really silly of me to leave
Speaker 2: the keys in the car, for example, Differently abled not great.
Speaker 5: I just said that. I think I think I did
Speaker 5: say that. Just then I caught myself saying it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like, don't get me wrong, I often will
Speaker 2: even say the wrong thing, like as somebody who has
Speaker 2: a physical disability. I'm still learning myself. I had a
Speaker 2: guest this week actually pull me up on terminology, So
Speaker 2: don't feel bad about yourself like anything. It's all about
Speaker 2: learning and being open to people's perspectives. I'm always trying
Speaker 2: to do better. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: I think that's such a good point because if people
Speaker 3: are scared to ask questions or scared to say things
Speaker 3: like that means that the conversations just aren't happening. It's
Speaker 3: better to have them and then learn the correct language
Speaker 3: or how to do better.
Speaker 2: Exactly right. And in the end, I always want to
Speaker 2: come across as really friendly and I'm always open to people,
Speaker 2: particularly for me, asking me questions. So that's why I
Speaker 2: think it's really great to have these open conversations, because,
Speaker 2: as you say, if we don't talk about it, we
Speaker 2: don't learn other terms. Confined to a wheelchair also not great.
Speaker 2: Being referred to as special or unlucky, or I've had
Speaker 2: parents come up to me and in context with me
Speaker 2: stating there saying aren't we lucky that we can walk
Speaker 2: and we can use our legs? Like oh god. So
Speaker 2: you know, it's in some ways like I totally appreciate
Speaker 2: we should all feel privileged for the different abilities that
Speaker 2: we have, but it's just really trying to be aware.
Speaker 2: But I also can feel when people are anxious around
Speaker 2: me and they don't want to say the wrong thing,
Speaker 2: and then they do. It's like, oh, you're doing a
Speaker 2: good job, but just take a breath. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: You can feel the intent behind it's coming from a
Speaker 5: good place, but you're like, it's okay, take a.
Speaker 2: Breath, yeah, exactly. For example, I don't suffer with cerebral palsy.
Speaker 2: I just have it. It's just I have a disability.
Speaker 2: So if you're in doubt, say person with a disability
Speaker 2: or I just like disabled because it's simple, Yeah it is, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: because suffer implies that there's something wrong with you that
Speaker 2: you will get over. It's negative, it's negative, exactly right.
Speaker 3: We know that learning starts at home. So what advice
Speaker 3: can you give to parents about starting these conversations around
Speaker 3: people with disabilities? And why is it important? I think
Speaker 3: that just before you start. I do think that, like
Speaker 3: the toys and the books and the things that we
Speaker 3: have for our kids are so much better and so
Speaker 3: much more than what I ever had growing up. Like
Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about, you know. In Lenny's Little Lego Duplo,
Speaker 3: one of his Lego characters has a wheelchair It's.
Speaker 2: So great, isn't it. I was so like, I was
Speaker 2: too old when this came out, but when the disabled
Speaker 2: Barbie came out in her yes, I was so excited.
Speaker 2: It's so fantastic to see that form of inclusion. And
Speaker 2: you know, as you would both know, representation and all
Speaker 2: different minorities is so vital and it's really great to see,
Speaker 2: as you say, cal to have different ways that kids
Speaker 2: can be exposed to disabilities because it is part of life.
Speaker 2: You know, we're one in five, so they will likely
Speaker 2: meet becomes friends with or I love one in their
Speaker 2: life might have a disability now or might have a
Speaker 2: disability in the future. So it's really important that you
Speaker 2: educate them and make them comfortable and make sure that
Speaker 2: they feel like we're an equal citizen to themselves.
Speaker 3: I'll have to put a link up in our show
Speaker 3: notes because I've got this great book. It's called All
Speaker 3: About Diversity, and it's just it's a book for kids,
Speaker 3: but it's just about like how we're all different, and
Speaker 3: it sort of like answers all different questions around diversity.
Speaker 3: It's just really good with lots of pictures. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: that the kids can see that everyone is so different.
Speaker 2: For sure, and I will send you a few different
Speaker 2: books as well.
Speaker 1: Please do Yeah, definitely that'll be good.
Speaker 2: As we say, I think education is always important and
Speaker 2: this is no different because I am a visual representation.
Speaker 2: Because I use an electric wheelchair, it's very obvious that
Speaker 2: I have a disability. Yeah, don't forget that. A lot
Speaker 2: of us are interacting with people that have disabilities and
Speaker 2: it's not obvious. So you can have invisible disabilities too.
Speaker 2: So both of you probably will know somebody with a disability.
Speaker 2: And I know this isn't directly related, but I know
Speaker 2: cal probably with your relationship with your nanny, Lenny would
Speaker 2: have a different level of empathy and understanding that he
Speaker 2: wouldn't otherwise about her different access needs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he does, And I've actually thought about that before
Speaker 3: when we do, because we go to the aged care
Speaker 3: home once a week. But it's not just older people.
Speaker 3: It is some younger people with severe disability and they're
Speaker 3: in their wheelchair or some of them are actually not
Speaker 3: even able to be in a wheelchair, like they're actually
Speaker 3: in bed. So I think that it's really great that
Speaker 3: he's exposed to so many different people. And I mean
Speaker 3: he's almost three, but he doesn't really, he's not even
Speaker 3: really curious because I guess for him, it's just so
Speaker 3: normal to see different people all the time.
Speaker 2: Kids are taught that disability is wrong or different, inherently,
Speaker 2: they don't see anything wrong with it at all, because
Speaker 2: it's just part of the human experience. Homer School was
Speaker 2: really fantastic for me, and then once we hit high school,
Speaker 2: it's sort of shifted. You could really feel that shift.
Speaker 2: So kids don't know that there's anything wrong with disability
Speaker 2: as they isn't until they're taught otherwise. So that's why
Speaker 2: people like me and myself are really tried to make
Speaker 2: sure that the young people of today don't lose that
Speaker 2: form of empathy and understanding.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, such a good point, and why it's so
Speaker 3: important to have representation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly right. I'm only one person with a disability,
Speaker 2: so it's really important to make sure we have a
Speaker 2: lot of diverse voices.
Speaker 5: I was gonna ask, what if you could give a
Speaker 5: couple of examples of invisible disabilities just for people listening.
Speaker 2: Sure, so, intellectual disabilities as a whole often is invisible.
Speaker 2: Anybody with chronic illness autism is a really big one
Speaker 2: as well, there's lots of different things, things like Crohn's
Speaker 2: disease is technically considered an invisible disability. There are hundreds,
Speaker 2: there are a lot.
Speaker 3: What's the most common feedback that you get from your
Speaker 3: pod listeners, able bodied and disabled on the life experiences
Speaker 3: on the guests?
Speaker 2: I think, overall, firstly, how much you can relate to
Speaker 2: the guest, regardless of whether you have a disability or not.
Speaker 2: I speak to many different people, and it's not often
Speaker 2: that I speak to people with cerebral palsy, and I
Speaker 2: can still relate to their experience. And I think that's
Speaker 2: why it's really important to have different stories published, because
Speaker 2: people realize we're actually not that different, and yes we
Speaker 2: have disabilities, but we still live life, and I think
Speaker 2: it's important to make sure that we can all see
Speaker 2: each other as equal.
Speaker 5: I had a sneaking suspicion that that would be the feedback,
Speaker 5: because I think it always comes down to, like that
Speaker 5: corny line, I'm probably gonna get it wrong. But there
Speaker 5: are the things that like unite us. We have so
Speaker 5: much more in common than we do that separates us,
Speaker 5: you know, But I think often different things can get
Speaker 5: in a way. So sharing those stories people realize, Oh,
Speaker 5: everyone's just living their life in their own way.
Speaker 2: And not only that, it often gives me kick up
Speaker 2: the bomb because I think, my god, what am I
Speaker 2: doing with my life? There's all these amazing people out there,
Speaker 2: my goodness, So it just is incredible. There are so
Speaker 2: many people that are so accomplished in the disability community.
Speaker 5: I was just going to ask you a final wrap
Speaker 5: up question, if you could leave parents listening with one
Speaker 5: piece of advice when thinking about having conversations with their
Speaker 5: kids about disabled people.
Speaker 2: Well, I would say to them, don't be frightened. There
Speaker 2: are a lot of resources out there, and it's really
Speaker 2: not that big of a conversation to have. Disability isn't
Speaker 2: a tragedy. It shouldn't be framed as a tragedy. It's
Speaker 2: just part of the human experience. And by doing this,
Speaker 2: you're making sure your child is going to be a
Speaker 2: good little human. Isn't that what we all want?
Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely, I think you nailed it. Thank you so
Speaker 5: much for coming on today.
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Thanks Key, Thanks Kelly, it's such a pleasure.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much to Peter. I have just
Speaker 3: like I can think of all of these other questions
Speaker 3: that I wanted to ask, and yeah, I might even
Speaker 3: have to get her back on the poet.
Speaker 1: Well, she did say, like, if there aren't any questions
Speaker 1: that we had or all the shit has had to like,
Speaker 1: let us know and we'll get her back on to
Speaker 1: have a little question.
Speaker 3: Q and a yeah, well, thank you, thank you, thank you. Please,
Speaker 3: like we said, rate and review us and we'll be
Speaker 3: back in your ears next week.
Speaker 1: You can find us on socials at Qui Reese and
Speaker 1: at Kelly Underscore mccaren and at eessr dot.
Speaker 3: Pot the one with the funny things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, actually, go on star it so you never miss
Speaker 1: a bloody post. This episode was produced by us You're
Speaker 1: Crazy Unhinged hosts, with audio production by the not unhinged,
Speaker 1: very organized and very lovely Mattie Johanna. Bye bye