1 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,465 Speaker 1: So you're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 2 00:00:13,945 --> 00:00:17,465 Speaker 2: Mama Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:17,505 --> 00:00:20,865 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on Hey you bis, let's 4 00:00:20,945 --> 00:00:23,945 Speaker 2: get real for a sec. Did you know one in 5 00:00:24,185 --> 00:00:28,705 Speaker 2: five ossies experience and mental health condition each year. That's 6 00:00:28,745 --> 00:00:31,465 Speaker 2: a lot of us, and yet so many of us 7 00:00:31,545 --> 00:00:34,785 Speaker 2: don't say a word. We bottle it up, we push through, 8 00:00:35,225 --> 00:00:39,105 Speaker 2: We tell ourselves we're fine when we're not. But I've 9 00:00:39,185 --> 00:00:42,665 Speaker 2: learned that speaking up, just starting that conversation can be 10 00:00:42,705 --> 00:00:46,465 Speaker 2: incredibly powerful. It's often the first step toward feeling better 11 00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:50,985 Speaker 2: and realizing you're absolutely not alone. That's why I wanted 12 00:00:51,025 --> 00:00:54,345 Speaker 2: to share this brand new podcast I Never told you 13 00:00:54,425 --> 00:00:58,945 Speaker 2: this a series created to spark honest, meaningful conversations that 14 00:00:58,985 --> 00:01:02,785 Speaker 2: support better mental well being, brought to you by Medibank. 15 00:01:03,065 --> 00:01:05,225 Speaker 2: I hope you get as much out of this episode 16 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:05,865 Speaker 2: as I did. 17 00:01:07,105 --> 00:01:08,945 Speaker 3: I have anxiety myself. I don't even know what to 18 00:01:08,945 --> 00:01:10,585 Speaker 3: do with it, how to deal with it. I feel 19 00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:11,945 Speaker 3: like we don't really know how to deal with it. 20 00:01:11,985 --> 00:01:14,145 Speaker 3: We just kind of get up and just seize the day. 21 00:01:14,185 --> 00:01:15,425 Speaker 3: It doesn't matter how you're feeling. 22 00:01:15,745 --> 00:01:19,465 Speaker 2: Soldier on two People, One big reveal, I never told 23 00:01:19,465 --> 00:01:21,945 Speaker 2: you this a simple card game where one question could 24 00:01:21,985 --> 00:01:22,785 Speaker 2: change everything. 25 00:01:23,065 --> 00:01:25,585 Speaker 1: It starts like, what's more things by joy? 26 00:01:25,905 --> 00:01:27,145 Speaker 3: I'm not going to answer that. 27 00:01:28,185 --> 00:01:30,745 Speaker 1: Then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever. 28 00:01:30,985 --> 00:01:33,745 Speaker 1: As they finished this sentence, I never told you this. 29 00:01:33,945 --> 00:01:34,785 Speaker 3: I've never told you. 30 00:01:34,825 --> 00:01:35,905 Speaker 1: They never told you this. 31 00:01:38,945 --> 00:01:42,665 Speaker 2: Today Reality TV influences mother and daughter duo Mary and 32 00:01:42,705 --> 00:01:45,465 Speaker 2: Martha Califdidas will be sitting down together. 33 00:01:45,425 --> 00:01:47,305 Speaker 4: Quite nervous, but I'm always nervous. 34 00:01:47,865 --> 00:01:50,105 Speaker 1: Mary has something big to reveal to her daughter. 35 00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:52,865 Speaker 4: I don't think she's expecting me to say what I'm 36 00:01:52,865 --> 00:01:53,505 Speaker 4: going to say. 37 00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:57,265 Speaker 1: Welcome, Martha. Oh, thanks for having me Mary. This is 38 00:01:57,305 --> 00:01:58,545 Speaker 1: a bit new for us. 39 00:01:58,585 --> 00:01:58,905 Speaker 3: I know. 40 00:01:59,305 --> 00:01:59,705 Speaker 1: Welcome. 41 00:02:00,425 --> 00:02:03,625 Speaker 3: So today we're going to play a little game with 42 00:02:03,745 --> 00:02:05,465 Speaker 3: the Midibank family roast cards. 43 00:02:05,505 --> 00:02:06,585 Speaker 1: Are you ready to play? 44 00:02:06,785 --> 00:02:08,985 Speaker 3: Yes, let's get into this game. I think we need 45 00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:09,625 Speaker 3: a little game. 46 00:02:09,905 --> 00:02:10,625 Speaker 4: So who picks? 47 00:02:10,665 --> 00:02:10,865 Speaker 5: Here? 48 00:02:10,985 --> 00:02:12,185 Speaker 1: You go for it? Oh? 49 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:13,945 Speaker 4: Are you ready? 50 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,105 Speaker 1: Oh? 51 00:02:15,145 --> 00:02:18,865 Speaker 4: What is the most ridiculous fashion trend you ever followed? 52 00:02:19,065 --> 00:02:22,625 Speaker 3: Those thick fat belts that were like a boob trip 53 00:02:22,705 --> 00:02:24,825 Speaker 3: and we'd wear them over the jeans. That has to 54 00:02:24,865 --> 00:02:27,225 Speaker 3: be one of the ugliest things I ever did. I'm 55 00:02:27,265 --> 00:02:29,345 Speaker 3: five foot two and that made me four foot two. 56 00:02:29,585 --> 00:02:32,465 Speaker 4: I probably told you, but you wouldn't probably listen. 57 00:02:32,505 --> 00:02:32,945 Speaker 3: Here we go. 58 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:34,625 Speaker 1: She had to throw that one in my face and. 59 00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:37,865 Speaker 3: Just saying kid, just saying, all right, so I'll pick 60 00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:41,785 Speaker 3: a card. Oh, what is something I do that grosses 61 00:02:41,825 --> 00:02:42,225 Speaker 3: you out? 62 00:02:42,465 --> 00:02:45,025 Speaker 1: I don't think you do anything they do not. No, 63 00:02:45,225 --> 00:02:47,825 Speaker 1: that's right, good answer, Mary. What about me? 64 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:48,505 Speaker 3: Oh? 65 00:02:48,745 --> 00:02:51,025 Speaker 1: Don't because I can say so many things. 66 00:02:51,065 --> 00:02:52,305 Speaker 4: I bring it to the table. 67 00:02:52,585 --> 00:02:54,585 Speaker 1: Cutting your cuticles, Well. 68 00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:55,745 Speaker 4: That's just like meditation. 69 00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,585 Speaker 3: If you go and get that done and then you 70 00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,105 Speaker 3: like to do more and just keep cutting the cuticles, 71 00:03:00,145 --> 00:03:02,825 Speaker 3: it must be a nervous It's definitely a nervous habit. 72 00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:05,145 Speaker 4: Okay, I'll take that, all. 73 00:03:05,105 --> 00:03:07,785 Speaker 1: Right, go next? Oh is that me? Oh? 74 00:03:08,305 --> 00:03:12,505 Speaker 4: What do you think your most useless talent is? You've 75 00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:13,265 Speaker 4: got plenty of those. 76 00:03:13,385 --> 00:03:16,025 Speaker 1: I don't think I've got any. I just timeless for 77 00:03:16,145 --> 00:03:17,545 Speaker 1: uselessness in our family. 78 00:03:17,825 --> 00:03:18,425 Speaker 4: I agree? 79 00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:21,425 Speaker 3: What about how you can you start singing every single 80 00:03:21,425 --> 00:03:24,825 Speaker 3: commercial song that's ever come on since late nineteen eighty 81 00:03:25,945 --> 00:03:27,265 Speaker 3: fifties from the Earth. 82 00:03:28,665 --> 00:03:34,025 Speaker 4: I'm going to pick the next card. I never told 83 00:03:34,025 --> 00:03:43,225 Speaker 4: you this. When you went on reality TV. All these 84 00:03:43,345 --> 00:03:47,465 Speaker 4: comments would come in on social media. It actually affected me, 85 00:03:48,585 --> 00:03:50,785 Speaker 4: but I didn't want to show you that it was 86 00:03:50,825 --> 00:03:54,345 Speaker 4: affecting me. All these comments that were coming in, and 87 00:03:54,425 --> 00:03:56,745 Speaker 4: I'd be staying up till three four in the morning, 88 00:03:56,945 --> 00:04:00,825 Speaker 4: and I didn't realize how toxic social media can be. 89 00:04:01,105 --> 00:04:05,065 Speaker 4: I didn't know as a parent how I can comfort you. 90 00:04:05,065 --> 00:04:07,665 Speaker 3: No, I can totally understand how that would have affected you. 91 00:04:08,185 --> 00:04:09,785 Speaker 1: With the trolls. 92 00:04:09,385 --> 00:04:12,585 Speaker 3: On the they think they know me, but you really 93 00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:15,145 Speaker 3: know me, and so you were reading things that weren't true, 94 00:04:15,265 --> 00:04:17,665 Speaker 3: and then that would be just endless cycle. 95 00:04:17,865 --> 00:04:20,945 Speaker 4: Now you're a parent, and I'm sure you would probably. 96 00:04:20,585 --> 00:04:22,225 Speaker 1: Do the same now that I'm a parent. 97 00:04:22,705 --> 00:04:25,945 Speaker 3: I just want to protect him from everything. 98 00:04:25,545 --> 00:04:26,825 Speaker 4: I could only imagine. 99 00:04:26,825 --> 00:04:28,385 Speaker 3: And that's why I didn't want to burden you with 100 00:04:28,785 --> 00:04:32,345 Speaker 3: I've got anxiety, I can't sleep, I was I had 101 00:04:32,385 --> 00:04:35,505 Speaker 3: shortness of breath, like I was thinking, mom, don't yeah, 102 00:04:35,545 --> 00:04:36,545 Speaker 3: But that's how it was. 103 00:04:37,985 --> 00:04:38,585 Speaker 1: I think to. 104 00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:40,825 Speaker 3: Some degree, I did have some idea, because you did 105 00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:44,625 Speaker 3: start acting really strange. I definitely think I know you 106 00:04:44,625 --> 00:04:47,425 Speaker 3: were staying up really late looking at comments, and I 107 00:04:47,545 --> 00:04:49,785 Speaker 3: remember just being to you like, don't. 108 00:04:49,545 --> 00:04:51,345 Speaker 1: Worry about it, man, like it's fine. 109 00:04:51,745 --> 00:04:55,225 Speaker 3: But I think at the time, I didn't want to 110 00:04:55,265 --> 00:04:57,705 Speaker 3: show you either that it was affecting me, so I 111 00:04:57,705 --> 00:04:58,705 Speaker 3: would just say oh. 112 00:04:58,745 --> 00:04:59,825 Speaker 1: To you, like it doesn't matter. 113 00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:02,465 Speaker 3: But really, like I would be in my room staying 114 00:05:02,545 --> 00:05:05,585 Speaker 3: up reading the comments as well. So I have anxiety myself. 115 00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:06,825 Speaker 3: I don't even know what to do with it. Do 116 00:05:06,865 --> 00:05:08,065 Speaker 3: you know how to deal with it? I feel like 117 00:05:08,065 --> 00:05:09,385 Speaker 3: we don't really know how to deal with it. We 118 00:05:09,465 --> 00:05:11,585 Speaker 3: just kind of move on with the day and just 119 00:05:11,665 --> 00:05:13,305 Speaker 3: keep the day going. But it doesn't mean that the 120 00:05:13,305 --> 00:05:14,225 Speaker 3: anxiety goes. 121 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:21,425 Speaker 5: Away the rest of this episode of I never told 122 00:05:21,425 --> 00:05:22,745 Speaker 5: you this right after. 123 00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:29,065 Speaker 4: The break, Thinking back, I should have just been more 124 00:05:29,105 --> 00:05:31,665 Speaker 4: open and told you, like, you know what, it's normal 125 00:05:31,705 --> 00:05:34,065 Speaker 4: to feel this way because I'm feeling this way. 126 00:05:34,225 --> 00:05:36,225 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think if this had done that, we probably 127 00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:38,585 Speaker 3: would have been able to, you know, commune and pack 128 00:05:38,665 --> 00:05:40,625 Speaker 3: it and then just deal with it in the open 129 00:05:40,665 --> 00:05:42,345 Speaker 3: instead of dealing with it separately in. 130 00:05:42,345 --> 00:05:43,465 Speaker 1: Our different rooms. 131 00:05:43,705 --> 00:05:46,825 Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's very That's very much what our family does, 132 00:05:46,865 --> 00:05:51,025 Speaker 3: though we're not very good at revealing, which is strange 133 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:55,505 Speaker 3: because we're so open that everything about movements and everything, 134 00:05:55,665 --> 00:05:58,185 Speaker 3: because we've brought up to be like quite. 135 00:05:57,865 --> 00:06:00,905 Speaker 1: Hard and like strong and tarbody. No, you can't get 136 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:01,385 Speaker 1: over it. 137 00:06:01,505 --> 00:06:03,545 Speaker 3: Get up and just seize the day. It doesn't matter 138 00:06:03,545 --> 00:06:04,225 Speaker 3: how you're feeling. 139 00:06:04,505 --> 00:06:05,065 Speaker 1: Soldier on. 140 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,825 Speaker 3: When I was growing up, our parents were very strict. 141 00:06:08,865 --> 00:06:11,185 Speaker 3: They never showed an they never you know. 142 00:06:11,145 --> 00:06:13,025 Speaker 1: I just find that hard to believe. Yeah, yeah, it 143 00:06:13,185 --> 00:06:13,625 Speaker 1: is like the. 144 00:06:13,585 --> 00:06:18,225 Speaker 3: Most softest, sweetest, gentlest, emotional, loving caring. 145 00:06:18,305 --> 00:06:20,065 Speaker 1: It wasn't when we were growing up. I just find 146 00:06:20,105 --> 00:06:21,305 Speaker 1: it hard to believe. 147 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,305 Speaker 3: She was strict. 148 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:28,425 Speaker 1: Get up old age. It really softens you. It breaks 149 00:06:28,425 --> 00:06:31,225 Speaker 1: you down. 150 00:06:32,745 --> 00:06:36,145 Speaker 4: With like searching and being like my own little detective. 151 00:06:36,585 --> 00:06:39,345 Speaker 4: I noticed that a lot of these comments weren't coming 152 00:06:39,425 --> 00:06:42,665 Speaker 4: from young kids that were just being mean. These were 153 00:06:42,705 --> 00:06:46,465 Speaker 4: from parents that had kids. How could you try and 154 00:06:46,545 --> 00:06:50,625 Speaker 4: destroy someone else's child. People want kids to be kind, 155 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,305 Speaker 4: but they don't teach them the tools to be kind 156 00:06:53,745 --> 00:06:55,585 Speaker 4: and not to bring other people down. 157 00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:58,505 Speaker 3: You know, like kids are mean today. I hate that 158 00:06:58,545 --> 00:07:00,225 Speaker 3: I was to learn that from somewhere. 159 00:07:00,345 --> 00:07:02,945 Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. The parents are the 160 00:07:02,945 --> 00:07:04,905 Speaker 4: ones that need to actually change. 161 00:07:05,385 --> 00:07:07,345 Speaker 3: I kind of feel a bit sad for you in 162 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,905 Speaker 3: a way that you kind of dealt with that on 163 00:07:08,945 --> 00:07:09,345 Speaker 3: your own. 164 00:07:10,505 --> 00:07:14,025 Speaker 4: That's what parents do, you know, They try to protect. 165 00:07:14,065 --> 00:07:17,185 Speaker 4: I think their kids as much as they can, you know, 166 00:07:19,145 --> 00:07:22,625 Speaker 4: So if your son was dealing with anxiety, how would 167 00:07:22,665 --> 00:07:23,225 Speaker 4: you help. 168 00:07:23,105 --> 00:07:24,985 Speaker 1: Him growing up? 169 00:07:25,185 --> 00:07:29,145 Speaker 3: You always said those that matter don't mind, and those 170 00:07:29,185 --> 00:07:31,905 Speaker 3: that mind don't matter. It doesn't really matter because who 171 00:07:31,945 --> 00:07:34,265 Speaker 3: are these people to you? As long as like you know, you, 172 00:07:34,265 --> 00:07:36,705 Speaker 3: your friends, your family, the people that you care about, 173 00:07:37,185 --> 00:07:39,625 Speaker 3: the opinions of others don't really matter. 174 00:07:40,745 --> 00:07:43,705 Speaker 1: That's good. At least you've got something, something stuck, stuck 175 00:07:43,785 --> 00:07:45,065 Speaker 1: from all those years. 176 00:07:46,905 --> 00:07:48,385 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not easy being a parent. 177 00:07:48,465 --> 00:07:50,865 Speaker 3: It's so not It's the hardest thing ever. It's so 178 00:07:50,985 --> 00:07:53,985 Speaker 3: not easy being a parent. I appreciate it. 179 00:07:54,545 --> 00:07:58,145 Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, Mary, no worries any time. 180 00:07:58,585 --> 00:08:02,545 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's nice to know that you're human under 181 00:08:02,585 --> 00:08:04,745 Speaker 3: all that. Yeah, it's nice to know that under all 182 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,025 Speaker 3: there there is actually some flesh and blood. 183 00:08:08,145 --> 00:08:11,345 Speaker 1: Well done, fish pump. Oh is that something we do still? 184 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:21,025 Speaker 5: This episode was brought to you by Medibank. Live Better 185 00:08:21,105 --> 00:08:24,665 Speaker 5: with Medibank. If this conversation brought up any strong feelings 186 00:08:24,665 --> 00:08:27,505 Speaker 5: for you, don't forget. There is help out there. Please 187 00:08:27,505 --> 00:08:29,065 Speaker 5: see show notes for resources