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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mama Maya podcast. Mamma Maya acknowledges

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Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast

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Speaker 1: is recorded on.

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Speaker 2: But I really truly believe this. Men don't bother to

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Speaker 2: comment unless they want to you. And yeah, there are

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Speaker 2: hateful things like, you know, making fun of your body

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Speaker 2: or calling you fat or old, or all the beautiful

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Speaker 2: misogyny that comes along with posting on the internet. But

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Speaker 2: in general, when a guy posts theming like oh, I

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Speaker 2: don't know about those pants, they're distracting. You're like, you

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Speaker 2: think I'm hot and you don't know how to express

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Speaker 2: it properly or just say nothing, so you're saying something weird.

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Speaker 3: For Mamma Maya. You're listening to No Filter. And I'm

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Speaker 3: kateline Brook. I love funny people. I think funny people

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Speaker 3: are an ornament to the world. And Eliza Schlesinger is

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Speaker 3: a very funny woman. She's so funny that she's made

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Speaker 3: a very successful career out of being funny. But the

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Speaker 3: thing about Eliza that you'll hear in this conversation is

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Speaker 3: that behind the funny is a deep intelligence, a boundless curiosity,

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Speaker 3: and a lot of love for the cohort that inspire

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Speaker 3: the lines share of her material us women. You know

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Speaker 3: that thing about how you can make fun of your

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Speaker 3: sister but nobody else can. Well, Eliza is a bit

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Speaker 3: like that, because she makes fun of us. Oh boy,

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Speaker 3: does she make fun of us. But she does it

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Speaker 3: from such a place of loving observation, and she's one

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Speaker 3: of us that not only can she get away with it,

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Speaker 3: but somehow we feel seen and understood through the lens

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Speaker 3: of her comedy something Else. Eliza is hard working, ridiculously

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Speaker 3: hard working. At forty two, she's the mother of two

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Speaker 3: young children. She's an actress, she's a podcaster and author,

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Speaker 3: a wife to an ambitious and talented husband, and who

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Speaker 3: makes a fun cameo in this conversation that may also

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Speaker 3: leave you a bit hungry. And she's also about to

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Speaker 3: release her seventh comedy special A Different Animal, and a

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Speaker 3: tour which will be bringing her here.

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Speaker 1: To our shores.

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Speaker 3: In April, Eliza joined us from her home office in

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Speaker 3: La after a big flight and wanted me to know

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Speaker 3: that she didn't think she was firing on all cylinders.

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Speaker 3: We started our conversation with her explaining that she was

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Speaker 3: feeling a bit like half a person. I'm very happy

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Speaker 3: with the half.

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Speaker 2: I'll give you the half. You know, sometimes as women,

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Speaker 2: your half is more than most others. Hales. I just

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Speaker 2: flew in from Miami this morning and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I can do a podcast, and then it just like

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Speaker 2: minutes ago, hit me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Because also, your work ethic is phenomenal.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, I know, and I do. I consider that

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Speaker 1: a compliment.

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Speaker 3: Particularly you know, I've spent a lot of my working

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Speaker 3: life with male comedians, and.

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Speaker 1: A lot of them quite honest. Sorry, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 3: Because also a lot of them are very honest about

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Speaker 3: the fact that they got into comedy because they're lazy,

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Speaker 3: so they wanted to have that the sleepings and the

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Speaker 3: late nights and the adulation and the la la that

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Speaker 3: is not you.

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Speaker 2: No, But I really love the work and I didn't

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Speaker 2: get into it for to sleep with girls. And I

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Speaker 2: didn't get into it because of you know, latent, weird

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Speaker 2: insecurities or anything. I genuinely enjoy the work. So it

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Speaker 2: is exhausting, and I've gotten better at giving myself breaks

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Speaker 2: and doing things to make it easier. Like even last night,

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Speaker 2: I did a corporate gig and I walked in and

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Speaker 2: it was basically like performing in front of an oil

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Speaker 2: painting of people and I told my first joke and

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Speaker 2: they flew me there for this. I told my first

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Speaker 2: joke and it went flat, and I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: we're going to have to do a full hour of work.

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Speaker 2: You're right, what's your name? And I don't think I've

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Speaker 2: worked that hard enough.

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Speaker 3: Very yeah, well that's like corporates can be, notoriously just foul.

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Speaker 3: Like afterwards, you feel like you need one of those

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Speaker 3: care and silkwood showers.

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Speaker 1: You know, we should just get it off.

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Speaker 2: And they were all so nice and like we had

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Speaker 2: fun and it was whatever. But it was very clear

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Speaker 2: to me within the first three minutes, like, oh, you

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Speaker 2: can't do your material. You're going to have to go

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Speaker 2: down the line and really work and so but I

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Speaker 2: did feel invigorated after it, but it's still you got

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Speaker 2: to love the work otherwise you'll be miserable. And I

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Speaker 2: think that's for anything any career.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, it's interesting because also you then become

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Speaker 3: I don't want to say victims, not the right word,

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Speaker 3: but but you become enmeshed in your own success. So

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Speaker 3: the snowball that you're rolling down the hill becomes bigger,

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Speaker 3: and it picks up more people along the way because

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Speaker 3: you need more people to run things. Where are you

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Speaker 3: at now in your life and now you've got two

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Speaker 3: kids and you've got a husband just bloated.

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Speaker 2: No, if you're a comic and if you're a multi

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Speaker 2: hyphen it performer or business person at all these things,

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Speaker 2: the more you make, the more people you need to

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Speaker 2: sustain that. And it's not in a way that like

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Speaker 2: I can't sustain it. But if you want things done well,

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Speaker 2: you need someone to do your social media, you need

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Speaker 2: someone to film you, publicists to make sure and so

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Speaker 2: you do need these things if you want to get

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Speaker 2: the quality results that you see your peers getting. I

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Speaker 2: think it's very rare that it's like it was just

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Speaker 2: luck and everyone was just obsessed and you didn't need

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Speaker 2: anybody and so but it all begets the next thing.

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Speaker 2: So it's a it's just maintaining a consistency and while

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Speaker 2: always trying to level up.

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Speaker 1: You do level up all the time.

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Speaker 3: And I've just watched a different animal which is your

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Speaker 3: new Yeah, it's just so I have to like a

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Speaker 3: part of it. Your knowledge of women is forensic, like

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Speaker 3: your understanding of us is so deep but also loving,

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Speaker 3: even as you are fully across all of our divots. Ye,

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Speaker 3: our pivots are like self deceptions. It's really beautiful. But also,

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Speaker 3: and I know I don't want I don't want to

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Speaker 3: sound distracted by the frivolous, but mate, you are as.

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Speaker 1: Hot as haydies.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Well that's a lot coming from an

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Speaker 2: Australian because you guys, your bar set pretty high as

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Speaker 2: you're ten year round. Thank you.

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Speaker 3: That outfit is insane, Oh thank you? When did you

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Speaker 3: get the idea? Like, do you have an idea? This

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Speaker 3: is how I kind of want to look. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to wear some mesh and some over the knee boots

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Speaker 3: and I'm going to strut around.

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Speaker 2: Like basically, you know, I am not a dressy person.

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Speaker 2: I think you can dress up for a late night set,

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Speaker 2: not that those are really a thing as much anymore.

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Speaker 2: But I'm very casual on stage because I'm a pretty

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Speaker 2: casual off stage. But I think your special is your

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Speaker 2: moment to wear the thing and not have to work

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Speaker 2: for it with your audience in the way that you

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Speaker 2: did coming up within the clubs and you're just trying

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Speaker 2: to you know, And I came up. You know, I've

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Speaker 2: been doing comedy for twenty years, so I definitely came

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Speaker 2: up at a time where it was still a little

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Speaker 2: weird to see a woman doing comedy. Not that we

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Speaker 2: hadn't been out there, and not that women hadn't come

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Speaker 2: before me, but I never dressed up on stage because

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Speaker 2: I felt audiences just like weren't. I didn't have that

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Speaker 2: additional ninety seconds to get you used to the fact

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Speaker 2: that I had a nice body. I wanted you to

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Speaker 2: hear my jokes right off the bat, and so I

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Speaker 2: was always very casual in stage, and I wanted to

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Speaker 2: be comfortable. But in the specials, it's your chance to

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Speaker 2: kind of like know that you're surrounded by fans. This

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Speaker 2: is something that you earned. And so for elder millennial

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Speaker 2: and for unfailed and for hot forever, I just tried

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Speaker 2: to do outfits that I was comfortable in. I saw

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Speaker 2: these pants right before I got pregnant with my son,

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Speaker 2: So I had these pants basically a year, like so

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Speaker 2: hard to do that math. I saw them online. I

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Speaker 2: like listened to a lot of like electronic dance music,

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Speaker 2: and I saw some It was an ad. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if they're like a Spanish site. I don't know

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Speaker 2: where they're from. And I saw these pants and I

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Speaker 2: was like, those are the pants. I just felt it.

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Speaker 2: I ordered them. I had to get them delivered to

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Speaker 2: England to get them sent to me, like I had.

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Speaker 1: So you couldn't. They wouldn't cheap directly to you. It

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Speaker 1: was something like we just circumvented.

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Speaker 2: I got them. I tried them on, and I was

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Speaker 2: like a couple weeks pregnant with Ethan, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna tuck these away had the baby. And then

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Speaker 2: every we would do pilates and my instructor would even

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Speaker 2: be like as I would lift my legs, she'd be like, okay,

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Speaker 2: belly in pants. Pants. And I just like them, and

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Speaker 2: I know that some people don't and they're wrong because

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Speaker 2: they're hot fire. Oh my god. I was like, they're

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Speaker 2: just so rock and roll but also ravy, and like

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Speaker 2: who cares if people are bothered by them? Like what

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Speaker 2: does it matter people bothered by them?

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Speaker 1: It's interesting?

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Speaker 3: What I mean it is when you were talking about

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Speaker 3: when you were first coming on stage and you would

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Speaker 3: kind of go under rather than go over because you

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Speaker 3: didn't want to be You didn't want your physicality to

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Speaker 3: be a distraction from the jokes. But it's always such

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Speaker 3: a thing for women because the way that we look

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Speaker 3: is so stratified, and we read it in each other instantly,

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Speaker 3: and there's so much more to read in a woman

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Speaker 3: than there is in a man. So a man's basically

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Speaker 3: like wou chinos and a shirt, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well it also doesn't matter because the truth is it's

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Speaker 2: not the dapples and oranges. We judgment and women on

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Speaker 2: very different things, and so I don't know if there's

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Speaker 2: if there's less. You know, we look at a man's

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Speaker 2: haircut in a way that we don't really look at

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Speaker 2: a woman's haircut. We look at if a man is

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Speaker 2: wearing pants, like, but are they naise pants? Like I

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Speaker 2: can tell.

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Speaker 1: You if a man's not.

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Speaker 3: If a man's not wearing pants, we're definitely judging him

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Speaker 3: wearing pants.

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Speaker 2: He is a male car an agree room. But like

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Speaker 2: I could wear out of date sneakers and nobody would

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Speaker 2: ever care, other than like some gen z person that

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Speaker 2: like wants to make me feel bad for being a millennial.

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Speaker 2: But if you're a guy and like Kenneth Cole reaction

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Speaker 2: like work shoes, like I will know that, and then

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Speaker 2: I'll know, like, oh, you don't know what's going on.

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Speaker 2: And so there is that thing where you're being judged

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Speaker 2: by women, you're being judged by men. But I really

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Speaker 2: truly believe this. Men don't bother to comment unless they

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Speaker 2: want to you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there are hateful things like, you know, making fun

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Speaker 2: of your body or calling you fat or old or

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Speaker 2: all the beautiful misogyny that comes along with posting on

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Speaker 2: the internet. But in general, when a guy posts theming

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Speaker 2: like oh, I don't know about those paints, they're distracting.

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Speaker 2: You're like, h you think I'm hot and you know

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Speaker 2: how to express it properly or just say nothing, So

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Speaker 2: you're saying something weird.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and in the fact you're here at school.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and in fact, in a different animal days up

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Speaker 3: the whole beat that you do about that, about how

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Speaker 3: if we knew how simple men were in their desires,

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Speaker 3: it would save us a lot of time.

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Speaker 2: A lot. It spends so much less money on Sephora,

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Speaker 2: and spend so much less money on therapy. And the

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Speaker 2: truth is, especially as women, as we get older, we

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Speaker 2: do know that. But what then becomes clear to us

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Speaker 2: as women is that it isn't about them, because it

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Speaker 2: was when you were younger, because you didn't have to

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Speaker 2: do as much, and it was about attracting them and

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Speaker 2: putting everything out there. And now as you get older,

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Speaker 2: my husband doesn't care, but I'm like I still do

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Speaker 2: because I would like other people to look at me

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Speaker 2: to validate how attractive I am.

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Speaker 3: You know, well, you also do a bit in that

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Speaker 3: that was that seems kind of counterintuity because you talk

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Speaker 3: about and it's very funny about when a woman feels

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Speaker 3: loved and nurtured and understood and appreciated or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Basically, it's our cute to let ourselves go.

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Speaker 2: It's everything is so you can get ugly, Like all

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Speaker 2: you want to do is get in that relationship. And

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Speaker 2: this is obviously not the true objective, but it is

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Speaker 2: that thing where you know, we want to scroll up

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Speaker 2: into his heart and grow a mustache, like and we

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Speaker 2: all and you see it online and stuff like people

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Speaker 2: you're in sweatpants whatever. I think it's it's exacerbated when

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Speaker 2: people make fun of it online because the truth is, like,

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Speaker 2: if you're the kind of girl that would wear sweatpants

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Speaker 2: and like a ratty shirt around your boyfriend, you're that

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Speaker 2: girl anyway, like you don't just become like a hideous

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Speaker 2: bog troll. But I think it's also like when do

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Speaker 2: we get a break as women? Like when can I

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Speaker 2: be relaxed or do I have to always be uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: to show that I'm fuckible?

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Speaker 3: Ye?

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Speaker 2: You know, And so I think that there's something beautiful

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Speaker 2: in a woman just being like, yeah, like I've had

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Speaker 2: two kids. I think I'm allowed to like set it

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Speaker 2: down for a night and pick it back up whenever

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Speaker 2: I'm ready.

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Speaker 1: Sure, well you have picked it back up. Oh, thank you,

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Speaker 1: you sure have.

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Speaker 3: But I wanted to ask you, like how your day looks,

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Speaker 3: because really, and I've been familiar with you for a

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Speaker 3: long time, and a lot of lovers of comedy have been,

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Speaker 3: but I went on a deep dive with you when

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Speaker 3: I knew that I was speaking to you, and like

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Speaker 3: I said, your output is phenomenal, And now you've got

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Speaker 3: the podcast ask Als or anything, which is great. And

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Speaker 3: I've got a problem for you actually that I think.

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Speaker 2: You can write you with.

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Speaker 3: Oh you give actually astoundingly good advice.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you. Yeah, we try to cut through the bullshit.

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Speaker 2: I just remember I appreciate that there's a show in

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Speaker 2: the States and I don't know if it's global called

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Speaker 2: love Line. It's not on anymore, and had doctor Drew Pinsky,

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Speaker 2: who kind of became like a celebrity sex doctor. But

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Speaker 2: I remember I would drive home from like like one

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Speaker 2: in the morning from like the Irvine improv, which means

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Speaker 2: nothing to the folks listening in Australia, but it's like

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Speaker 2: an hour and a half away and you're on this

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Speaker 2: big freeway and so you're just driving right. A lot

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Speaker 2: of my LA comedy life was just driving at night

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Speaker 2: back from gigs and I would listen to love Line

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Speaker 2: where people would call in and they would be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: and they give their like weird sexual question and doctor

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Speaker 2: Drew was so adept at being like giving super incisive advice.

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Speaker 2: Someone would say like, so, my girl and I don't

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Speaker 2: really haveing sexy's like she has herpes, Like she is

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Speaker 2: so good at kind of when I was like, I

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Speaker 2: love that, like just having enough knowledge about people or

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Speaker 2: medicine to the second someone starts being like, actually, that's bullshit.

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Speaker 2: Here's what it is, like you have a genital disorder.

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Speaker 2: And so I try to bring that to my podcast

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Speaker 2: when like someone's talking. I'm just like, no, you actually

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Speaker 2: hate your best friend? You hear, That's what it is.

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Speaker 2: So I've been there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, are you very therapist?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: Oh, because once again it's it's you. You really have

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Speaker 3: kind of a broad, a broad and deep understanding of

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Speaker 3: the psyche of people.

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Speaker 2: I do, and I my education comes from hours and

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Speaker 2: hours and hours of scrolling through Instagram. Really, and it's no,

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Speaker 2: it's I think there's empathy involved, and I have a

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Speaker 2: burning need to know why things are the way that

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Speaker 2: they are. And a big part of Different Animal and

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Speaker 2: my comedy in general is not just accepting men and

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Speaker 2: women are different. Like I really need to know in

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Speaker 2: the science behind why we do the things that we do,

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Speaker 2: because I need to know more about what I'm doing

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Speaker 2: on this planet, and I need to know the facts,

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Speaker 2: not the feelings, which I know the Internet doesn't love,

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Speaker 2: but like I deeply need the scientific reasons and the

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Speaker 2: sociological reasons. So that drives me, and I can't find

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Speaker 2: them in comedy, so I do it myself because I

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Speaker 2: would know that I would have liked those answers from someone, right.

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Speaker 3: So, at what point did you realize, and particularly with

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Speaker 3: the stuff about women, and you know the many characters

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Speaker 3: that all there's a door opening behind you.

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Speaker 1: Oh was that a husband?

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Speaker 2: Oh no, oh.

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Speaker 1: No, noah.

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Speaker 2: Oh she's saying, okay, well, I don't want to eat.

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Speaker 1: He's a coke. He's a chef.

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Speaker 2: He's a chef and he's and he's doing the cook

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Speaker 2: or the photo shoot.

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Speaker 4: I know you can't hear it. Come down, Hello, hold on,

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Speaker 4: com here? Hellos eating the rice ball? Hello, they're doing

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Speaker 4: there's like eight people in our house. They're doing the

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Speaker 4: photo shoot for his cookbook.

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Speaker 1: For a second, Oh, what's the coke?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a it's a grilling, it's a family grilling cook.

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Speaker 2: It's a ha habat chi sort of yeah, but not

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Speaker 2: specifically about this sounds like a very non American podcast.

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Speaker 3: The bag, Yeah, that's your my my accent is a

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Speaker 3: dad give away.

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Speaker 2: You'll indeed give away, all right?

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Speaker 1: What a trace though.

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Speaker 2: It's so cute. The cook comes out next summer because

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Speaker 2: he comes because they're cooking all day, so we'll come

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Speaker 2: in and just hand me something. And you'ven seeing his

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Speaker 2: heartbreak when I'm like, I don't want a portobella mushroom

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 3: No tiring because when people look cooking for I've got

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Speaker 3: a girlfriend who's done several cookbooks, and it involves in

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Speaker 3: cooking foods that are very strange at strange times of

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Speaker 3: the day.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, Like it's ten am. He's like, we're

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Speaker 2: having steak tartar or whatever. I guess you wouldn't grow that.

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Speaker 2: But it's just like a Porterhouse steak cut up. And

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Speaker 2: so it's just us. We let our friends know. Hey,

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Speaker 2: they're doing, you know, fourteen days of cooking. We've got

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Speaker 2: food stylists, photographers, like everyone's here, the houses upside down,

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Speaker 2: and we just have people coming over, like with containers

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Speaker 2: to take home, like a bunch of carnea soada, because

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Speaker 2: we can't eat all that.

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Speaker 1: But you want to snack now, I would have loved

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Speaker 1: to tried what he was cooking.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, you can grab a quick one because after this shortbreak,

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Speaker 3: we'll hear all about how Eliza made her chef hobby noah,

360
00:18:06,205 --> 00:18:10,805
Speaker 3: because you both got these like big live. How did

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Speaker 3: you mate?

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Speaker 2: We met on a dating app?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Really, that's it? It would baby, it worked? And

364
00:18:19,445 --> 00:18:21,725
Speaker 3: what did he say? And what did you say?

365
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,485
Speaker 2: I don't remember. And we often talk about how we

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Speaker 2: wish we could have like we could go back and

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Speaker 2: see those conversations. But I do remember on the app

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Speaker 2: him just being really easy to talk to. There was

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Speaker 2: no attitude, he wasn't too cool, and he really was funny,

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Speaker 2: which is very hard to do. It's not even so

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Speaker 2: much about me being a comedian, but like over text

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Speaker 2: and like his heart came through, like he was just

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Speaker 2: funny and he is very funny. And I was just like,

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Speaker 2: this seems great. And from the second I met him,

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Speaker 2: it was just it felt easy and comfortable. People always

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Speaker 2: talk about when you meet someone you get like butterflies,

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Speaker 2: and I was like I had the opposite. I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I feel like I've known you my

379
00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:05,045
Speaker 2: whole life. You seem like someone I grew up with.

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00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:08,405
Speaker 2: Like it was just like it was weird that we

381
00:19:08,445 --> 00:19:10,565
Speaker 2: didn't know each other's whole stories because it felt like

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00:19:10,645 --> 00:19:13,285
Speaker 2: we have known each other for years and so that

383
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Speaker 2: was it.

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Speaker 3: And what did you make in La because you were

385
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Speaker 3: originally from taking Weirder?

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Speaker 1: Oh, I know, I thought that was impossible.

387
00:19:21,165 --> 00:19:25,005
Speaker 2: Well it people do it. And you know he always

388
00:19:25,005 --> 00:19:27,405
Speaker 2: says people always say people from LA are the worst

389
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Speaker 2: or they're weird. He's like, no, because he's from La.

390
00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:31,605
Speaker 2: He's like, you guys are the weird ones, the ones

391
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Speaker 2: who move here.

392
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Speaker 1: Yeah, they choose it. They choose it.

393
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Speaker 2: But just to take away from the wholesomeness, basically, we

394
00:19:39,085 --> 00:19:41,365
Speaker 2: went out. He had a broken hand, I think from

395
00:19:41,405 --> 00:19:44,885
Speaker 2: like playing basketball, and I was like, oh, you have

396
00:19:44,925 --> 00:19:46,645
Speaker 2: a cast on your arm. Did they give you pain

397
00:19:46,725 --> 00:19:50,205
Speaker 2: killers for that? He was like yeah, I feel like

398
00:19:50,205 --> 00:19:52,245
Speaker 2: Australians like can't relate to this. And he was like yeah,

399
00:19:52,285 --> 00:19:53,245
Speaker 2: why And I was like, can.

400
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Speaker 1: We go get can we have them?

401
00:19:55,245 --> 00:19:57,605
Speaker 2: And so we took them and like got a bunch

402
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Speaker 2: of drinks and it was great.

403
00:19:59,325 --> 00:20:03,725
Speaker 1: Oh, I love it. Yeah, and now you've got two kids.

404
00:20:04,845 --> 00:20:07,725
Speaker 2: Yeah, now, and now we have two kids. From painkillers

405
00:20:07,765 --> 00:20:11,805
Speaker 2: to there's nothing else with a p to diaper pails,

406
00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:15,325
Speaker 2: I guess, And it's great. My son just turned one

407
00:20:15,645 --> 00:20:18,405
Speaker 2: a couple of days ago, and my daughter's three, and

408
00:20:19,165 --> 00:20:20,485
Speaker 2: I'm having the best time.

409
00:20:21,125 --> 00:20:24,205
Speaker 3: And I love that because so much of your comedy

410
00:20:24,205 --> 00:20:29,485
Speaker 3: has been about you know, dating, travails and basically a

411
00:20:29,525 --> 00:20:34,725
Speaker 3: woman navigating life. Yeah. Yeah, and there is a sense

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00:20:35,245 --> 00:20:40,485
Speaker 3: that men obviously don't have the same time imperative, biological imperative,

413
00:20:41,525 --> 00:20:46,005
Speaker 3: that you just really got everything that you deserved, which

414
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,245
Speaker 3: is nice to say.

415
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Speaker 2: I appreciate that, you know, I don't know. I feel

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Speaker 2: like obviously women have less time to do the things

417
00:20:56,565 --> 00:21:01,205
Speaker 2: quote unquote expected or required. But I also think life

418
00:21:01,245 --> 00:21:06,405
Speaker 2: is about priorities and what you prioritize, and like I

419
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:11,405
Speaker 2: prioritized my career and having a family, and while other

420
00:21:11,405 --> 00:21:15,445
Speaker 2: people may have prioritized other parts of their careers or making,

421
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:18,925
Speaker 2: you know, networking or traveling, you know, and part of

422
00:21:18,925 --> 00:21:23,525
Speaker 2: my job is traveling. But it's it's hard to talk

423
00:21:23,565 --> 00:21:27,005
Speaker 2: about any of these things because to assert who you

424
00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:29,285
Speaker 2: are and what you have for a lot of women

425
00:21:29,325 --> 00:21:31,965
Speaker 2: feels like a condemnation of these choices they did or

426
00:21:31,965 --> 00:21:34,565
Speaker 2: didn't make, yes, And I think that that's a huge

427
00:21:34,605 --> 00:21:38,485
Speaker 2: stumbling block because it all stems from insecurity. And if

428
00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:40,845
Speaker 2: you want to know why it looks like I have everything,

429
00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:44,685
Speaker 2: it's because I have full time help. Like, do not

430
00:21:44,725 --> 00:21:47,205
Speaker 2: get it twisted, like we have a Jamaican nanny living

431
00:21:47,245 --> 00:21:49,765
Speaker 2: with us and another nanny that helps with my daughter.

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Speaker 2: The answer is other women, that's how you have it all? Yay.

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Speaker 3: So, of course, of course, which is and that is

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Speaker 3: I think I mean would that everyone we're in a

435
00:22:02,485 --> 00:22:05,085
Speaker 3: position to do that, sure, but.

436
00:22:05,085 --> 00:22:07,965
Speaker 2: Even to say you have it, then people are like, oh, well,

437
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:10,405
Speaker 2: isn't that nice? And it's like, we'll make no mistake

438
00:22:10,445 --> 00:22:13,965
Speaker 2: about it. Like the money that I make is what

439
00:22:14,085 --> 00:22:16,085
Speaker 2: I spent, Like I spend it on these nannies. There's

440
00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:19,525
Speaker 2: no inheritance, there's no additional like, it's all me, and

441
00:22:19,605 --> 00:22:23,365
Speaker 2: so that money is spent on that instead of driving whatever.

442
00:22:23,405 --> 00:22:26,525
Speaker 2: A Bugatti. Yeah right, I took that car. And again

443
00:22:26,565 --> 00:22:29,045
Speaker 2: it's all about priorities. But I knew before we had children.

444
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:32,245
Speaker 2: I was like, I am not giving up doing stand

445
00:22:32,325 --> 00:22:35,885
Speaker 2: up and pursuing all the other dreams I have because

446
00:22:35,925 --> 00:22:37,245
Speaker 2: of this. So I'm going to make both work. And

447
00:22:37,245 --> 00:22:39,885
Speaker 2: it's going to be exhausting and it's going to be heartbreaking,

448
00:22:40,685 --> 00:22:42,605
Speaker 2: but this is this is the way that I've chosen

449
00:22:42,645 --> 00:22:43,045
Speaker 2: to do it.

450
00:22:43,525 --> 00:22:48,245
Speaker 3: But how was it after, particularly after your daughter, because

451
00:22:48,245 --> 00:22:51,445
Speaker 3: she was the first? Yeah, how was it when you

452
00:22:51,485 --> 00:22:55,645
Speaker 3: went back to work after that? Because you know stuff

453
00:22:55,685 --> 00:22:59,605
Speaker 3: that is, you know brain fog and la la, And

454
00:23:00,125 --> 00:23:01,685
Speaker 3: I know when I went back to work, I was

455
00:23:01,685 --> 00:23:04,165
Speaker 3: doing radio and it felt like there should have been

456
00:23:04,605 --> 00:23:07,365
Speaker 3: a band playing a victory march.

457
00:23:08,165 --> 00:23:08,405
Speaker 2: Yeah.

458
00:23:08,445 --> 00:23:10,245
Speaker 1: The first time I got out of the house.

459
00:23:11,285 --> 00:23:15,125
Speaker 2: Oh right, So I can tell you not that I

460
00:23:15,165 --> 00:23:17,485
Speaker 2: remember most of it, but I can tell you that

461
00:23:17,525 --> 00:23:22,085
Speaker 2: I went back too soon. And I only know that

462
00:23:22,085 --> 00:23:24,645
Speaker 2: because my manager reminded me when I gave birth to

463
00:23:24,685 --> 00:23:26,525
Speaker 2: my son. She was like, you went back too soon,

464
00:23:26,525 --> 00:23:29,925
Speaker 2: and you said you were so unhappy. Oh, And I

465
00:23:29,925 --> 00:23:33,485
Speaker 2: don't remember that, but I remember just thinking about her

466
00:23:33,605 --> 00:23:35,765
Speaker 2: and missing her. And so you're pumping and you're storing

467
00:23:35,765 --> 00:23:37,405
Speaker 2: the milk, and you're bringing the cooler and then you're

468
00:23:37,405 --> 00:23:39,045
Speaker 2: bringing it home, you know, because I wasn't going to

469
00:23:39,125 --> 00:23:43,205
Speaker 2: bring her and disrupt her little routine. And so when

470
00:23:43,245 --> 00:23:46,405
Speaker 2: I had Ethan, I took a little bit of extra time.

471
00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:49,285
Speaker 2: But and I know that nobody really wants to talk

472
00:23:49,285 --> 00:23:52,965
Speaker 2: about this, you know, outside of a news show. But

473
00:23:53,805 --> 00:23:56,685
Speaker 2: in the wake of what happened on October seventh, I

474
00:23:56,765 --> 00:24:00,885
Speaker 2: found myself defending my presence on this planet as a

475
00:24:00,925 --> 00:24:04,845
Speaker 2: Jewish person and having to feel a lot of anti

476
00:24:04,845 --> 00:24:08,325
Speaker 2: Semitism because I chose to speak out against violence against

477
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:11,925
Speaker 2: Jews as a pregnant woman and as a postpartum woman

478
00:24:12,365 --> 00:24:17,365
Speaker 2: who also had severe postpartum depression. Oh it was yeah,

479
00:24:17,405 --> 00:24:19,765
Speaker 2: and I didn't know it. I just felt really bad

480
00:24:19,845 --> 00:24:24,405
Speaker 2: and breastfeeding felt really bad, compounded by being told you

481
00:24:24,405 --> 00:24:26,485
Speaker 2: don't deserve to live, your family doesn't deserve to live,

482
00:24:26,525 --> 00:24:28,685
Speaker 2: like on a daily basis. Because I was choosing to

483
00:24:29,365 --> 00:24:32,125
Speaker 2: speak out. It took a therapist, so I haven't done

484
00:24:32,125 --> 00:24:34,285
Speaker 2: a toime therapy, but I did seek out like a

485
00:24:34,325 --> 00:24:38,045
Speaker 2: postpartum therapist, and it took another woman saying to me, like,

486
00:24:38,805 --> 00:24:41,805
Speaker 2: that's a lot to engage with, like you might want

487
00:24:41,805 --> 00:24:44,365
Speaker 2: to just set that down because you're just like an

488
00:24:44,365 --> 00:24:47,125
Speaker 2: open wound and you're taking in a lot of really

489
00:24:47,165 --> 00:24:51,965
Speaker 2: negative energy. And it was pretty awful. And the brain

490
00:24:52,005 --> 00:24:54,445
Speaker 2: fog Israel and I do talk about that in this

491
00:24:54,525 --> 00:24:58,205
Speaker 2: special just why you have mom brain and you can

492
00:24:58,245 --> 00:24:59,605
Speaker 2: want to specially for it, and how it is a

493
00:24:59,645 --> 00:25:03,045
Speaker 2: scientific thing. You're not some selfish woman who only cares

494
00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:05,765
Speaker 2: about her kid. And I carry it with me even

495
00:25:05,805 --> 00:25:08,725
Speaker 2: now this is a year later, and like the things

496
00:25:08,765 --> 00:25:12,445
Speaker 2: I forget, mid sentence, I was like, I guess I'll

497
00:25:12,525 --> 00:25:14,885
Speaker 2: just I guess I'll just float away in the sea

498
00:25:15,045 --> 00:25:17,725
Speaker 2: because I'm not a functioning person who can count to ten.

499
00:25:18,445 --> 00:25:20,965
Speaker 1: Well, I've got four kids and I oh my.

500
00:25:20,845 --> 00:25:24,645
Speaker 3: God, yeah, yeah, I've become the person that says the

501
00:25:24,765 --> 00:25:28,605
Speaker 3: name of every single person in the house. That's right

502
00:25:28,925 --> 00:25:31,365
Speaker 3: before I lie on the person that I'm referring to.

503
00:25:31,485 --> 00:25:33,485
Speaker 3: Even sometimes I do it to the dog.

504
00:25:34,485 --> 00:25:37,285
Speaker 2: Oh, and that's in the special, and it was funny.

505
00:25:37,565 --> 00:25:39,805
Speaker 2: It's only in becoming a mom that you realize all

506
00:25:39,805 --> 00:25:41,845
Speaker 2: the things that you need to be forgiven for. For

507
00:25:41,925 --> 00:25:44,645
Speaker 2: making fun of your mom and all the times you

508
00:25:44,685 --> 00:25:48,325
Speaker 2: call your mom you're so dumb, like this woman. All

509
00:25:48,365 --> 00:25:50,365
Speaker 2: she wants is for you to be happy and healthy,

510
00:25:50,405 --> 00:25:52,685
Speaker 2: and you're just like, Oh, you said my brother's name,

511
00:25:52,805 --> 00:25:53,085
Speaker 2: not my.

512
00:25:53,325 --> 00:26:01,845
Speaker 1: Name, idiot. It's funny speaking of dogs. Blanche reap rip Blanche.

513
00:26:02,045 --> 00:26:04,325
Speaker 2: You all over this office. And here's Tianfoo.

514
00:26:04,405 --> 00:26:07,245
Speaker 1: She's actually right here, Oh, tian fos.

515
00:26:07,325 --> 00:26:09,685
Speaker 2: It's great for all the people listening for the podcast.

516
00:26:09,525 --> 00:26:10,725
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's beautiful.

517
00:26:10,725 --> 00:26:14,725
Speaker 3: We want to see all aspects we've seen you hate Darlin,

518
00:26:15,965 --> 00:26:19,965
Speaker 3: hate Darlan. So I saw a lot of you and

519
00:26:20,005 --> 00:26:24,005
Speaker 3: Blanche as a lot of enjoys of you did. But

520
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:27,565
Speaker 3: it was before I had a dog myself. Oh, I've

521
00:26:27,605 --> 00:26:30,525
Speaker 3: only had a dog for a year and a half.

522
00:26:30,565 --> 00:26:33,925
Speaker 3: That I got through my eldest son and his girlfriend right. Strangely,

523
00:26:35,245 --> 00:26:39,725
Speaker 3: but your lovingness towards your dog was always a very

524
00:26:40,845 --> 00:26:43,165
Speaker 3: was like a gateway into you. And the fact that

525
00:26:43,205 --> 00:26:46,325
Speaker 3: you opened yourself up in an era when I don't

526
00:26:46,365 --> 00:26:52,085
Speaker 3: want to say celebrity, because you're not really that celebrity. No, no,

527
00:26:52,165 --> 00:26:53,765
Speaker 3: but do you know what I mean? That tendency to

528
00:26:53,805 --> 00:26:56,645
Speaker 3: close yourself down and to close your world off and

529
00:26:56,685 --> 00:26:59,965
Speaker 3: to protect parts of yourself, which is understandable. You seem

530
00:26:59,965 --> 00:27:04,725
Speaker 3: to do this thing where you cleave yourself open, where

531
00:27:04,765 --> 00:27:07,405
Speaker 3: you're like, come look at this this special that I saw,

532
00:27:07,485 --> 00:27:09,045
Speaker 3: which was one of the best specials I've ever seen,

533
00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:12,085
Speaker 3: which is actually about you making your special and you

534
00:27:12,165 --> 00:27:14,965
Speaker 3: did the military show and it was all about you

535
00:27:15,005 --> 00:27:16,885
Speaker 3: putting the show in the documentary.

536
00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:21,005
Speaker 2: Yes, great, You're the only person who's ever mentioned it

537
00:27:21,005 --> 00:27:21,725
Speaker 2: to me thinks.

538
00:27:22,085 --> 00:27:26,805
Speaker 3: It's actually extraordinary if people are interested in comedy, I

539
00:27:26,845 --> 00:27:28,085
Speaker 3: heartily recommend it.

540
00:27:28,205 --> 00:27:28,605
Speaker 2: Thank you.

541
00:27:29,245 --> 00:27:32,325
Speaker 3: But when you were doing that, I was struck by

542
00:27:32,405 --> 00:27:35,885
Speaker 3: a couple of things. One that you make up your

543
00:27:35,965 --> 00:27:37,965
Speaker 3: material in front of a live audience.

544
00:27:38,645 --> 00:27:41,085
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's incredible.

545
00:27:43,365 --> 00:27:47,565
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thank you. I'm like blown away that somebody

546
00:27:47,645 --> 00:27:50,125
Speaker 2: said that, thank you. I just do the writing on stage.

547
00:27:50,165 --> 00:27:50,965
Speaker 2: You find it on stage.

548
00:27:51,045 --> 00:27:53,685
Speaker 1: Yeah, So what does that mean mean?

549
00:27:53,725 --> 00:27:55,885
Speaker 3: If you've got a period like when you've had when

550
00:27:55,885 --> 00:27:58,205
Speaker 3: you're having your kids or you're pregnant or your postpart

551
00:27:58,325 --> 00:28:01,005
Speaker 3: or whatever, and you're not doing the spots.

552
00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,685
Speaker 1: Where's the material coming from?

553
00:28:04,885 --> 00:28:09,045
Speaker 2: I don't know. It is something that I don't ever

554
00:28:09,405 --> 00:28:13,445
Speaker 2: sure myself to come up with anything, because you're allowed

555
00:28:13,485 --> 00:28:16,645
Speaker 2: to have sort of latent periods where you don't generate anything,

556
00:28:16,685 --> 00:28:18,805
Speaker 2: Like I'll take a six week trip and be like,

557
00:28:18,845 --> 00:28:21,965
Speaker 2: I wrote zero jokes about that, right, It's okay to

558
00:28:22,165 --> 00:28:25,405
Speaker 2: just take like to be in an intake period and

559
00:28:25,525 --> 00:28:28,525
Speaker 2: because you're processing it subconsciously whether you realize it or not.

560
00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:30,525
Speaker 2: So I'll have a thought and I'll kind of like

561
00:28:30,605 --> 00:28:32,925
Speaker 2: jot it down and then I compile them all and

562
00:28:32,965 --> 00:28:36,085
Speaker 2: I will find a very small show and I'll just

563
00:28:36,165 --> 00:28:39,085
Speaker 2: kind of read like keywords and I'll just kind of

564
00:28:39,405 --> 00:28:42,685
Speaker 2: come across it and express myself in that way. And

565
00:28:42,765 --> 00:28:46,285
Speaker 2: so perhaps that's that's just the way that I work,

566
00:28:46,405 --> 00:28:49,165
Speaker 2: is that it has to come out of me, like

567
00:28:49,205 --> 00:28:51,725
Speaker 2: I find the words on stage, and I base it

568
00:28:51,765 --> 00:28:54,565
Speaker 2: off of everyone else's energy. And as far as the

569
00:28:54,645 --> 00:28:57,685
Speaker 2: love for the dogs goes for my dogs, I mean,

570
00:28:57,765 --> 00:29:00,245
Speaker 2: everybody loves their dogs, and I got Blanche. At a

571
00:29:00,285 --> 00:29:02,645
Speaker 2: time when I was alone on the road, I just

572
00:29:02,685 --> 00:29:04,085
Speaker 2: started touring and I was like, well, I'm want to

573
00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:06,365
Speaker 2: have a dog with me, no one else. I'm going

574
00:29:06,445 --> 00:29:08,085
Speaker 2: to get eat alive for this. But nobody else had

575
00:29:08,165 --> 00:29:12,325
Speaker 2: their dog. Now subsequently, everybody brings their dog. But I

576
00:29:12,525 --> 00:29:15,805
Speaker 2: was the first one lying to the airlines of those

577
00:29:16,125 --> 00:29:18,485
Speaker 2: like just I smuggled her on. This is before everyone

578
00:29:18,525 --> 00:29:20,965
Speaker 2: had like an emotional animal support paperwork that no one

579
00:29:20,965 --> 00:29:24,245
Speaker 2: has anymore. But I just loved her so much because

580
00:29:24,285 --> 00:29:27,005
Speaker 2: she was my everything. She was my boyfriend, she was

581
00:29:27,005 --> 00:29:29,405
Speaker 2: my best friend. She was with me, And I think

582
00:29:29,405 --> 00:29:32,605
Speaker 2: that's really great for girls or anyone really, especially when

583
00:29:32,605 --> 00:29:35,405
Speaker 2: you're single, to have this thing to take care of,

584
00:29:35,405 --> 00:29:38,045
Speaker 2: because it's something else besides you, a reason to go

585
00:29:38,165 --> 00:29:40,965
Speaker 2: home or reason to to do a lot of things

586
00:29:41,005 --> 00:29:44,245
Speaker 2: because you're taking care of this animal. And I really

587
00:29:44,285 --> 00:29:45,925
Speaker 2: just believe you have to find things in the world

588
00:29:45,965 --> 00:29:47,885
Speaker 2: that you love so much, and the more that you're

589
00:29:47,925 --> 00:29:49,805
Speaker 2: open about how much you love those things, the more

590
00:29:49,845 --> 00:29:52,605
Speaker 2: it like lights of fire and other people, and it

591
00:29:52,645 --> 00:29:55,485
Speaker 2: inspires other people. I didn't do it. I didn't want

592
00:29:55,525 --> 00:29:56,805
Speaker 2: her to. I didn't care if she was famous. We

593
00:29:56,805 --> 00:30:00,045
Speaker 2: think it any brand deals. I just think I love

594
00:30:00,125 --> 00:30:01,885
Speaker 2: my things so much, and I love to share the

595
00:30:01,925 --> 00:30:04,285
Speaker 2: things that I love simply because I love them. Iced

596
00:30:04,325 --> 00:30:06,685
Speaker 2: coffee included, yes, geez.

597
00:30:08,245 --> 00:30:12,525
Speaker 3: Because Blanche loved the stage so much that you would

598
00:30:12,565 --> 00:30:17,685
Speaker 3: be playing these amazing, these huge, huge like auditoriums and

599
00:30:17,765 --> 00:30:21,165
Speaker 3: theaters and she would trot out on at the end

600
00:30:21,165 --> 00:30:23,525
Speaker 3: of your set kind of to say thanks guys.

601
00:30:24,445 --> 00:30:26,485
Speaker 2: Okay, So the dirty secret was there was a piece

602
00:30:26,525 --> 00:30:29,325
Speaker 2: of turkey being held at the other side, and she

603
00:30:29,925 --> 00:30:32,285
Speaker 2: was so ravenous. She would just like see it and

604
00:30:32,365 --> 00:30:34,805
Speaker 2: she would make a beeline. But she was okay with it,

605
00:30:34,845 --> 00:30:36,245
Speaker 2: and she was used to it. She just knew she

606
00:30:36,285 --> 00:30:38,085
Speaker 2: was going to get that chicken at the end of it.

607
00:30:38,565 --> 00:30:42,525
Speaker 3: Well, I thought, how extraordinary does she realize the relationship

608
00:30:42,565 --> 00:30:44,965
Speaker 3: that you have with your fans, because a big thing

609
00:30:45,205 --> 00:30:49,325
Speaker 3: that I know, much like in like having a dog companion,

610
00:30:50,005 --> 00:30:53,725
Speaker 3: you were kind of it was foundational in your relationship

611
00:30:53,765 --> 00:31:03,165
Speaker 3: with your fans that they started making you like gifts, Yeah,

612
00:31:03,565 --> 00:31:07,965
Speaker 3: bringing you toys and little lego figurines of yourself.

613
00:31:08,045 --> 00:31:10,925
Speaker 2: And I mean this is just one that was near

614
00:31:11,045 --> 00:31:14,965
Speaker 2: somebody painted this. Who they're all all behind me. I mean,

615
00:31:15,005 --> 00:31:19,205
Speaker 2: you're absolutely right. There was something about and she was

616
00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:22,645
Speaker 2: a beautiful dog, but like how consumed I was with

617
00:31:22,725 --> 00:31:26,965
Speaker 2: loving her, she became part of the lure of whatever

618
00:31:27,005 --> 00:31:29,325
Speaker 2: the fantasy world I created, whether it's a party goblin

619
00:31:29,405 --> 00:31:32,165
Speaker 2: or a she dragon. And I think people like to

620
00:31:32,165 --> 00:31:36,645
Speaker 2: be invited in to the world that I create, and

621
00:31:36,685 --> 00:31:40,325
Speaker 2: I need them because who wants to create a world

622
00:31:40,325 --> 00:31:42,485
Speaker 2: and be in it by yourself? And so it was

623
00:31:42,525 --> 00:31:46,245
Speaker 2: like this sort of ongoing living piece of art that

624
00:31:46,285 --> 00:31:49,085
Speaker 2: I'm still in with my fans, where I create the comedy,

625
00:31:49,525 --> 00:31:54,325
Speaker 2: then they digest it and give back to me drawings, letters, paintings, whatever.

626
00:31:55,325 --> 00:31:57,125
Speaker 2: And to me, it's such an expression of love to

627
00:31:57,205 --> 00:31:59,325
Speaker 2: be like I saw what you loved, and I made

628
00:31:59,325 --> 00:32:01,845
Speaker 2: you something that I thought you would love because I

629
00:32:01,885 --> 00:32:02,285
Speaker 2: loved it.

630
00:32:03,285 --> 00:32:03,645
Speaker 1: It is.

631
00:32:05,845 --> 00:32:09,005
Speaker 2: Exactly And I you know, I think we live in

632
00:32:09,005 --> 00:32:14,765
Speaker 2: a world of consumption endless, like just buying, rebuying, Sheenhaul's clicking, wiking,

633
00:32:14,885 --> 00:32:18,965
Speaker 2: moving on, scrolling. So when people actually stop not only

634
00:32:19,045 --> 00:32:21,485
Speaker 2: buy a ticket to come and see me, but make

635
00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:23,685
Speaker 2: and by the by no means, is this a requisite?

636
00:32:23,685 --> 00:32:26,565
Speaker 1: You can just show you don't need to bring a gift.

637
00:32:26,925 --> 00:32:30,085
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, where am I mitten. But it's just

638
00:32:30,125 --> 00:32:32,645
Speaker 2: truly never lost on me that people take their time

639
00:32:32,765 --> 00:32:35,605
Speaker 2: and their money to make me a drawing or write

640
00:32:35,645 --> 00:32:38,805
Speaker 2: me a card, or make me a gift bag, and

641
00:32:38,845 --> 00:32:40,765
Speaker 2: it will have all these inside jokes in it. And

642
00:32:40,805 --> 00:32:44,005
Speaker 2: it's this like little world that has been created by

643
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:46,005
Speaker 2: my fans that actually I get to live in, and

644
00:32:46,125 --> 00:32:47,565
Speaker 2: it's it's a very special thing.

645
00:32:48,485 --> 00:32:52,565
Speaker 3: So, you know, because you are involved in this, a

646
00:32:52,565 --> 00:32:54,525
Speaker 3: lot of women in particular, I think we'll identify with

647
00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:58,765
Speaker 3: this output of energy regardless of what happens on stage,

648
00:32:58,805 --> 00:33:02,165
Speaker 3: but in life, out output of energy. You're looking after

649
00:33:02,205 --> 00:33:04,885
Speaker 3: other people, you're loving people, You're trying to look after yourself,

650
00:33:04,925 --> 00:33:06,925
Speaker 3: You're trying to be the best you can be.

651
00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:10,405
Speaker 1: How do you replenish your energy stores?

652
00:33:11,045 --> 00:33:13,525
Speaker 2: I probably couldn't have answered this like a year ago,

653
00:33:13,565 --> 00:33:15,365
Speaker 2: because I think I was always pretty bad at it.

654
00:33:16,205 --> 00:33:16,805
Speaker 3: But I.

655
00:33:19,005 --> 00:33:21,045
Speaker 2: Try to spend time with my children, and I know

656
00:33:21,205 --> 00:33:23,485
Speaker 2: for a lot of women that takes away your energy.

657
00:33:24,005 --> 00:33:25,805
Speaker 2: But if I'm ever in a place where I'm really

658
00:33:25,845 --> 00:33:28,725
Speaker 2: angry about something, whether it's frustrated with work or the world,

659
00:33:28,885 --> 00:33:33,285
Speaker 2: just having this beaming little child in the other room,

660
00:33:33,525 --> 00:33:37,685
Speaker 2: it's kind of like a neurological reset. I always make

661
00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:40,325
Speaker 2: time to work out, and then I found pilates after

662
00:33:40,485 --> 00:33:43,005
Speaker 2: Sierra was born, and it's something that I enjoy doing.

663
00:33:43,045 --> 00:33:45,365
Speaker 2: I love the results, So I carve out that time

664
00:33:46,165 --> 00:33:49,365
Speaker 2: and I've been trying to when I can, because Lord knows,

665
00:33:49,405 --> 00:33:52,445
Speaker 2: I have enough mornings that are crazy. Have a slow morning,

666
00:33:53,285 --> 00:33:55,365
Speaker 2: and sometimes you don't work out, but just like really

667
00:33:55,405 --> 00:33:58,645
Speaker 2: like drink the coffee and just kind of be. I

668
00:33:58,685 --> 00:34:00,485
Speaker 2: think we don't ever get enough time to, like sit

669
00:34:00,525 --> 00:34:03,845
Speaker 2: in your living room that you paid for with the

670
00:34:03,925 --> 00:34:06,525
Speaker 2: creativity and love that you have for comedy, but I

671
00:34:06,565 --> 00:34:10,485
Speaker 2: have and just kind of sit and sometimes you scroll

672
00:34:10,485 --> 00:34:12,805
Speaker 2: on your phone, sometimes you don't. But just being in

673
00:34:12,845 --> 00:34:15,045
Speaker 2: the house that you paid for, surrounded by the things

674
00:34:15,045 --> 00:34:18,485
Speaker 2: you paid for, without an obligation to go anywhere for

675
00:34:18,525 --> 00:34:21,525
Speaker 2: a morning is a very calmon thing. And I know

676
00:34:21,605 --> 00:34:24,525
Speaker 2: that sounds small, and it's not, you know, rock climbing

677
00:34:24,565 --> 00:34:27,925
Speaker 2: and painting and all the things that I'm supposed to

678
00:34:27,925 --> 00:34:30,125
Speaker 2: do and have like a real hobby. But for me,

679
00:34:30,205 --> 00:34:32,685
Speaker 2: it really is the little things. I very much look

680
00:34:32,725 --> 00:34:36,525
Speaker 2: forward to, mundane mom things like taking my daughter to

681
00:34:36,605 --> 00:34:40,485
Speaker 2: gymnastics or stuff, just because I cannot believe that she's

682
00:34:40,525 --> 00:34:44,165
Speaker 2: here on this planet. I tried to like get so

683
00:34:44,525 --> 00:34:47,085
Speaker 2: this is. I tried to get like spiritual with her.

684
00:34:47,125 --> 00:34:49,605
Speaker 2: This morning, she was taking a dump on the toilet

685
00:34:49,605 --> 00:34:51,525
Speaker 2: and I laid down on the carpet in her room

686
00:34:51,525 --> 00:34:52,805
Speaker 2: and I looked and I was like, Seerah, can I

687
00:34:52,805 --> 00:34:54,885
Speaker 2: ask you a question? She was like uh huh, and

688
00:34:54,925 --> 00:34:56,605
Speaker 2: she's like grunting out a poop and I was like,

689
00:34:57,485 --> 00:35:00,565
Speaker 2: do you remember Heaven? And like, I think there's that

690
00:35:00,685 --> 00:35:02,365
Speaker 2: part as a mom where you're hoping she'll be like

691
00:35:02,445 --> 00:35:04,965
Speaker 2: I do, There's a beautiful place where there's no pain,

692
00:35:05,045 --> 00:35:07,485
Speaker 2: and she was just like she just goes like ah no,

693
00:35:10,125 --> 00:35:12,605
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, we don't get spiritual.

694
00:35:12,765 --> 00:35:15,125
Speaker 3: Well, it is funny because there is that period, particularly

695
00:35:15,205 --> 00:35:16,885
Speaker 3: with I don't know if you breastfit or not, but

696
00:35:16,925 --> 00:35:20,285
Speaker 3: when in the night when I would be breastfeeding one

697
00:35:20,325 --> 00:35:23,205
Speaker 3: of the children, you know, they do those really weird

698
00:35:23,285 --> 00:35:26,485
Speaker 3: things when they're babies where they look like they're looking

699
00:35:26,525 --> 00:35:30,045
Speaker 3: at someone in the room who's over your shoulder, and

700
00:35:30,125 --> 00:35:32,805
Speaker 3: you know there's that school of thought that they because

701
00:35:32,805 --> 00:35:36,085
Speaker 3: they've come so freshly from wherever they've come, they're still

702
00:35:36,125 --> 00:35:38,845
Speaker 3: connected to it. So if you had said to me

703
00:35:39,005 --> 00:35:43,165
Speaker 3: that she said yes, and I saw you know gran.

704
00:35:43,165 --> 00:35:45,885
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was hoping for, not

705
00:35:46,005 --> 00:35:47,525
Speaker 2: really hooping a little bit more.

706
00:35:48,325 --> 00:35:53,685
Speaker 3: Maybe, but maybe maybe we're victim blaming here. Maybe asking

707
00:35:53,725 --> 00:35:57,525
Speaker 3: him while she's pooping is not is not the ideal time.

708
00:35:57,805 --> 00:36:00,165
Speaker 2: Well, it was no time I get her sit still. Yeah,

709
00:36:00,205 --> 00:36:01,445
Speaker 2: I was like, do you remember heaven?

710
00:36:01,965 --> 00:36:02,205
Speaker 1: Yeah?

711
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:04,605
Speaker 2: I mean I think that all these things are possibilities,

712
00:36:04,645 --> 00:36:06,685
Speaker 2: and of course the time when they would remember that

713
00:36:06,805 --> 00:36:09,645
Speaker 2: is the time that they can't talk. But I think,

714
00:36:09,805 --> 00:36:11,925
Speaker 2: you know, for someone like me that travels as much

715
00:36:11,925 --> 00:36:14,405
Speaker 2: as I do and works, and it's not to say

716
00:36:14,445 --> 00:36:17,645
Speaker 2: other people don't this, still, I've come to appreciate the

717
00:36:17,725 --> 00:36:22,685
Speaker 2: stillness of the nothingness for a little bit, whether it's

718
00:36:22,725 --> 00:36:26,965
Speaker 2: just rearranging your bathroom or putting your clothes away nicely.

719
00:36:27,245 --> 00:36:31,085
Speaker 2: Because I was on the road for and am, but

720
00:36:31,245 --> 00:36:32,925
Speaker 2: was on the road for so much of my life.

721
00:36:33,885 --> 00:36:35,965
Speaker 2: Like I remember in my twenties and thirties, I was

722
00:36:36,045 --> 00:36:39,165
Speaker 2: just traveling Union and you're sick and you're doing shows,

723
00:36:39,205 --> 00:36:41,285
Speaker 2: and I would just do shows like fifty weeks a

724
00:36:41,365 --> 00:36:44,725
Speaker 2: year or something because it's not like nowhere else to go, Like,

725
00:36:44,765 --> 00:36:46,965
Speaker 2: it's not like you're going home to your wife and kids.

726
00:36:47,245 --> 00:36:51,005
Speaker 2: I would buy magazines like homemaking magazines around the holidays

727
00:36:51,925 --> 00:36:54,205
Speaker 2: and just fantasize about like, well, when I have a

728
00:36:54,285 --> 00:36:57,045
Speaker 2: real home with time to be in it, I'll decorate

729
00:36:57,085 --> 00:37:01,165
Speaker 2: it this way. And I would just look at them

730
00:37:01,565 --> 00:37:04,445
Speaker 2: and make Pinterest boards, just wanting like some of that

731
00:37:04,565 --> 00:37:08,165
Speaker 2: warmth and blanche was there, which was great, but like, yeah,

732
00:37:08,405 --> 00:37:09,805
Speaker 2: sometimes I've just stop and be like, oh my god,

733
00:37:09,845 --> 00:37:11,645
Speaker 2: all the things that you thought about you have It

734
00:37:11,685 --> 00:37:15,125
Speaker 2: wasn't about fantasizing about a family, but like the feeling

735
00:37:15,165 --> 00:37:17,645
Speaker 2: of yeah, I just love doing mom stuff.

736
00:37:17,845 --> 00:37:20,165
Speaker 3: But you know what, my when I think about that

737
00:37:20,245 --> 00:37:23,045
Speaker 3: when I hear you say that, is that I think

738
00:37:23,085 --> 00:37:27,245
Speaker 3: you created a vision board for yourself and you carried

739
00:37:27,285 --> 00:37:28,245
Speaker 3: that around with you.

740
00:37:29,325 --> 00:37:32,085
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think.

741
00:37:31,165 --> 00:37:33,285
Speaker 2: There could be some merit to that. I also think

742
00:37:34,245 --> 00:37:37,005
Speaker 2: in the back of your mind. As women, I think

743
00:37:37,045 --> 00:37:40,445
Speaker 2: there's just certain things that you know, Like I just

744
00:37:40,605 --> 00:37:44,645
Speaker 2: knew one day I would have kids, and it wasn't

745
00:37:44,765 --> 00:37:47,485
Speaker 2: I wasn't obsessed with it. I'd never talk about it.

746
00:37:47,525 --> 00:37:51,805
Speaker 2: My mother never pressured me into having kids, and I

747
00:37:51,885 --> 00:37:53,845
Speaker 2: knew I would get married a little bit later because

748
00:37:53,885 --> 00:37:55,925
Speaker 2: my mom did and I knew i'd have kids a

749
00:37:55,925 --> 00:37:57,765
Speaker 2: little bit later because my mom did. Like to me,

750
00:37:57,845 --> 00:37:59,925
Speaker 2: it just seemed like it's something that's going to happen,

751
00:38:00,085 --> 00:38:03,805
Speaker 2: and it just will and indeed I and it just did.

752
00:38:03,925 --> 00:38:07,045
Speaker 2: And I don't know. Again, that's one of those things

753
00:38:07,085 --> 00:38:09,165
Speaker 2: that's so fraught because then you have women who are like,

754
00:38:09,365 --> 00:38:12,285
Speaker 2: I want a baby, I'm turning thirty eight. What you know,

755
00:38:12,365 --> 00:38:15,845
Speaker 2: it's tough and it sucks, and it doesn't happen for everyone.

756
00:38:16,485 --> 00:38:19,565
Speaker 3: But I do think now it's very difficult. And you

757
00:38:20,205 --> 00:38:23,125
Speaker 3: touched on this earlier. It's difficult to talk about your

758
00:38:23,165 --> 00:38:27,365
Speaker 3: own experience, Yeah, which you have to be able to

759
00:38:27,405 --> 00:38:30,125
Speaker 3: do for your work. You have to be able to

760
00:38:30,125 --> 00:38:39,205
Speaker 3: do that. It doesn't necessarily have any ramifications, implications, insinuations

761
00:38:39,285 --> 00:38:42,045
Speaker 3: for the people that are listening about their life.

762
00:38:42,125 --> 00:38:43,845
Speaker 1: Their choice is their situation.

763
00:38:45,485 --> 00:38:48,365
Speaker 2: Well, I think that we're past that the way that

764
00:38:48,405 --> 00:38:54,165
Speaker 2: we consume understanding in social media because and it really is,

765
00:38:54,605 --> 00:38:57,485
Speaker 2: especially as a woman, and I almost want to say

766
00:38:57,525 --> 00:39:01,485
Speaker 2: only for women, Like I said, my life choices, my

767
00:39:01,565 --> 00:39:04,765
Speaker 2: affirmations are not an indicatetment on your choices. I think

768
00:39:04,805 --> 00:39:07,685
Speaker 2: people get very sensitive, you know, if I'm like and

769
00:39:07,725 --> 00:39:10,845
Speaker 2: I love doing pilates, and it's like, well, I'm some

770
00:39:10,885 --> 00:39:13,125
Speaker 2: of us are overweight and can't. It's like, okay, well

771
00:39:13,125 --> 00:39:17,085
Speaker 2: I didn't say you couldn't. Sometimes when women are strong

772
00:39:17,365 --> 00:39:21,605
Speaker 2: or are just simply living their lives, people get insecure

773
00:39:21,605 --> 00:39:24,205
Speaker 2: about that. I mean, we all do it. We all

774
00:39:24,205 --> 00:39:25,605
Speaker 2: want to look at someone. If I look at a

775
00:39:25,605 --> 00:39:28,245
Speaker 2: celebrity who's like, yeah, and I just drink lemon water

776
00:39:28,285 --> 00:39:30,205
Speaker 2: and that's why I have glowing skin, and you're like, okay,

777
00:39:30,205 --> 00:39:33,045
Speaker 2: it's also genetics and like a nine thousand dollars laser.

778
00:39:32,885 --> 00:39:34,765
Speaker 1: Like sure it isn't.

779
00:39:35,045 --> 00:39:39,885
Speaker 2: I do think we weaponize women's ability to simply state

780
00:39:39,925 --> 00:39:42,725
Speaker 2: what works for them, and then what happens is women

781
00:39:42,965 --> 00:39:47,325
Speaker 2: we get bogged down by having to qualify everything with oh,

782
00:39:47,365 --> 00:39:49,405
Speaker 2: and by the way, like if this doesn't work for you,

783
00:39:49,565 --> 00:39:50,685
Speaker 2: then that's that.

784
00:39:50,765 --> 00:39:52,165
Speaker 1: And men don't have to do that.

785
00:39:52,485 --> 00:39:55,245
Speaker 2: If I say I love being a mom, I shouldn't

786
00:39:55,285 --> 00:39:57,245
Speaker 2: have to qualify it with Also, I have help that

787
00:39:57,325 --> 00:39:59,805
Speaker 2: I pay for, Like yeah, we have all these stutter

788
00:39:59,805 --> 00:40:02,085
Speaker 2: steps to lead up to the thing that is simply

789
00:40:02,165 --> 00:40:03,725
Speaker 2: just as saying here's what I do, here's how I

790
00:40:03,765 --> 00:40:04,805
Speaker 2: got here, here's how I live.

791
00:40:05,285 --> 00:40:11,645
Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness. Okay, I that is so true.

792
00:40:12,205 --> 00:40:15,925
Speaker 3: Yeah, men don't do that. Men don't go oh, I

793
00:40:15,965 --> 00:40:18,645
Speaker 3: love my kids. Sorry, if you haven't been able to

794
00:40:18,645 --> 00:40:20,285
Speaker 3: have kids, I'm checking my privilege.

795
00:40:20,365 --> 00:40:24,845
Speaker 1: I know that men never do that. That's a woman's racket.

796
00:40:25,805 --> 00:40:30,725
Speaker 2: Yeah. And you know, we as women, when we qualify things,

797
00:40:30,725 --> 00:40:33,365
Speaker 2: it is all out of a fear of being called

798
00:40:33,405 --> 00:40:36,365
Speaker 2: a bitch. It's all out of a fear of being

799
00:40:36,405 --> 00:40:38,365
Speaker 2: called out of touch or this or that. But the

800
00:40:38,405 --> 00:40:41,165
Speaker 2: truth is people are going to have those critiques and

801
00:40:41,205 --> 00:40:44,045
Speaker 2: those criticisms no matter what you do. Like I am

802
00:40:44,085 --> 00:40:46,325
Speaker 2: simply saying, like I work really hard, and I work

803
00:40:46,365 --> 00:40:48,005
Speaker 2: a lot, and I like being with my kids, and

804
00:40:48,045 --> 00:40:50,765
Speaker 2: I can just see I know that the types of

805
00:40:50,805 --> 00:40:53,405
Speaker 2: response is that that can elicit. And then the other

806
00:40:53,485 --> 00:40:55,725
Speaker 2: side of that argument is, well, don't worry about what

807
00:40:55,765 --> 00:40:59,165
Speaker 2: people say, and it's like, I don't. What I'm worried

808
00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:01,925
Speaker 2: about is people who think that they have the right

809
00:41:02,365 --> 00:41:06,645
Speaker 2: to even come at me. Yeah, we're simply existing. That's

810
00:41:06,685 --> 00:41:07,645
Speaker 2: the exhausting part.

811
00:41:07,765 --> 00:41:11,885
Speaker 3: Yeah, Because also you're trying to anticipate way the breach

812
00:41:11,965 --> 00:41:14,245
Speaker 3: will be, and then you're trying to fortify the breach

813
00:41:14,285 --> 00:41:16,165
Speaker 3: before it happens. So you're living in a state of

814
00:41:16,165 --> 00:41:19,485
Speaker 3: perpetual anticipation of something that hasn't happened, but you know

815
00:41:19,605 --> 00:41:21,045
Speaker 3: will and it's.

816
00:41:20,885 --> 00:41:23,645
Speaker 2: Designed that way. These things are designed that way so

817
00:41:23,685 --> 00:41:26,045
Speaker 2: that you do make yourself smaller. Oh, I know that

818
00:41:26,045 --> 00:41:27,485
Speaker 2: if I do this thing, I'm going to get called

819
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,205
Speaker 2: these names. So I won't put out this video, I

820
00:41:29,245 --> 00:41:31,605
Speaker 2: won't go on that show. And so it is a

821
00:41:31,725 --> 00:41:35,565
Speaker 2: constant practice to remind yourself like, no, I'm going to

822
00:41:35,645 --> 00:41:38,205
Speaker 2: just keep showing up. And I guess the answer at

823
00:41:38,205 --> 00:41:39,845
Speaker 2: the end of the day is don't read the comment section,

824
00:41:40,045 --> 00:41:41,445
Speaker 2: which I definitely stop doing.

825
00:41:41,885 --> 00:41:44,805
Speaker 1: I know, but sometimes it just sneaks up on you.

826
00:41:45,205 --> 00:41:47,325
Speaker 2: It sneaks up on you. But yeah, I mean, I

827
00:41:47,325 --> 00:41:51,165
Speaker 2: guess I'm endlessly floored by the simplest things and how

828
00:41:51,205 --> 00:41:54,765
Speaker 2: it just really upsets people. And the answer is, it

829
00:41:54,805 --> 00:41:57,525
Speaker 2: was never about what you did. It's about the fact

830
00:41:57,565 --> 00:42:01,565
Speaker 2: that you did it right. It was never about you

831
00:42:01,645 --> 00:42:03,805
Speaker 2: having kids. It was about the fact. It was never

832
00:42:03,845 --> 00:42:05,645
Speaker 2: about what you said about your daughter. It's about the

833
00:42:05,685 --> 00:42:09,685
Speaker 2: fact that you have a daughter. It was never about fact.

834
00:42:09,765 --> 00:42:12,205
Speaker 2: It was never about the pants that I wore in

835
00:42:12,365 --> 00:42:14,525
Speaker 2: a different animal. It's about the fact that I dared

836
00:42:14,605 --> 00:42:21,085
Speaker 2: to as over forty where anything that might challenge your

837
00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:22,965
Speaker 2: expectation of what a woman should be doing.

838
00:42:23,685 --> 00:42:27,165
Speaker 3: But the people who love you enjoy that celebratory aspect

839
00:42:27,245 --> 00:42:30,165
Speaker 3: of it, And so how do you find a way

840
00:42:30,205 --> 00:42:33,285
Speaker 3: to lean into that and block it.

841
00:42:33,365 --> 00:42:34,005
Speaker 1: I just have a.

842
00:42:34,005 --> 00:42:35,805
Speaker 2: Sense of humor about it. I'm like, the pants are great.

843
00:42:35,805 --> 00:42:37,525
Speaker 2: If you don't like him, that's like, I don't even

844
00:42:37,525 --> 00:42:39,325
Speaker 2: talk about it if you don't like him. Yeah. Yeah,

845
00:42:39,325 --> 00:42:42,845
Speaker 2: The fact is I did it, and it's done, and

846
00:42:42,885 --> 00:42:44,725
Speaker 2: you can watch it. You cannot. I hope if you

847
00:42:44,725 --> 00:42:47,565
Speaker 2: hate the pants you watch it anyway, It'll be aview.

848
00:42:48,325 --> 00:42:50,485
Speaker 3: Someone said to me once I heard this story once

849
00:42:50,565 --> 00:42:53,325
Speaker 3: about and I think it was like a NASCAR driver

850
00:42:53,445 --> 00:42:56,965
Speaker 3: or whatever, and for some reason, the crowd booed him,

851
00:42:57,085 --> 00:42:59,565
Speaker 3: the crowd hated him. He was one of those villains.

852
00:43:00,205 --> 00:43:03,085
Speaker 3: And his son, he had a teenage son who got really.

853
00:43:02,925 --> 00:43:05,965
Speaker 1: Upset by it. And his dad said.

854
00:43:05,685 --> 00:43:10,205
Speaker 3: To him, son, fifty of the crowd with you and

855
00:43:10,205 --> 00:43:12,445
Speaker 3: fifty percent of the crowd against you.

856
00:43:12,445 --> 00:43:14,165
Speaker 1: You've got one hundred percent of the crowd.

857
00:43:15,365 --> 00:43:16,605
Speaker 2: Oh truer words.

858
00:43:16,925 --> 00:43:20,885
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I remember that all the time. Yeah,

859
00:43:20,925 --> 00:43:23,685
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not always comforting, but it just is

860
00:43:24,165 --> 00:43:27,045
Speaker 3: your pants have got one hundred percent.

861
00:43:26,805 --> 00:43:30,245
Speaker 2: Of the crowd we got. That clip has over thirteen

862
00:43:30,365 --> 00:43:34,405
Speaker 2: million views on Instagram. It's like the most view clip

863
00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:37,325
Speaker 2: on the Amazon Prime account. And it's funny you say

864
00:43:37,325 --> 00:43:39,245
Speaker 2: that sad about one hundred percent of the audience. As

865
00:43:39,285 --> 00:43:42,005
Speaker 2: a comic, the way we see it is if you

866
00:43:42,005 --> 00:43:44,645
Speaker 2: have two thousand people in the audience and one isn't laughing,

867
00:43:45,205 --> 00:43:50,445
Speaker 2: then you've lost. Yeah, yeah, and you're a piece of shit.

868
00:43:50,765 --> 00:43:52,405
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, it's easy.

869
00:43:52,445 --> 00:43:55,565
Speaker 3: It's it's just that is so easy to focus on

870
00:43:55,605 --> 00:44:03,845
Speaker 3: the exception. The rest of my conversation with the incredible

871
00:44:03,885 --> 00:44:13,165
Speaker 3: Eliza Schlessinger after this short break, stay with us. Who

872
00:44:13,165 --> 00:44:20,045
Speaker 3: are the people in your life that you draw from

873
00:44:21,085 --> 00:44:23,885
Speaker 3: that you can fight in. That are you're like, aside

874
00:44:23,885 --> 00:44:27,725
Speaker 3: from obviously your husband and the kids, but that are

875
00:44:27,765 --> 00:44:30,885
Speaker 3: your like safe harbor, your shelter, the place where you

876
00:44:30,925 --> 00:44:32,565
Speaker 3: go to refuel and restock.

877
00:44:33,685 --> 00:44:33,885
Speaker 4: You know.

878
00:44:35,285 --> 00:44:39,565
Speaker 2: I have different friends for different things, Like my best

879
00:44:39,565 --> 00:44:43,325
Speaker 2: friend not even positive what Michelle does but does not

880
00:44:43,685 --> 00:44:46,205
Speaker 2: in Hollywood. I'm not positive.

881
00:44:47,445 --> 00:44:47,885
Speaker 1: Forever.

882
00:44:48,005 --> 00:44:52,205
Speaker 2: It was like this girl went to like the London

883
00:44:52,245 --> 00:44:55,685
Speaker 2: School of Economics. She worked for the government, like it's

884
00:44:55,725 --> 00:44:58,925
Speaker 2: it's that, it's that it's stuff I couldn't do. And

885
00:44:59,005 --> 00:45:03,165
Speaker 2: so when I really want to complain about something, maybe

886
00:45:03,165 --> 00:45:06,565
Speaker 2: about my family or like a personal thing that has

887
00:45:06,685 --> 00:45:09,605
Speaker 2: nothing to do with work, I will call her like

888
00:45:09,645 --> 00:45:12,205
Speaker 2: it is like we're both walking our dogs and I'm like,

889
00:45:12,245 --> 00:45:14,245
Speaker 2: oh my god, and listen, and my brother did this,

890
00:45:14,365 --> 00:45:16,845
Speaker 2: and like she understands that. So that to like purge

891
00:45:16,845 --> 00:45:18,685
Speaker 2: myself with that and talk about things that are like

892
00:45:18,885 --> 00:45:21,765
Speaker 2: just like best friends, like bullshit, who cares and just

893
00:45:22,245 --> 00:45:24,005
Speaker 2: or she'll call about one of her relatives, like the

894
00:45:24,045 --> 00:45:28,045
Speaker 2: deliciousness of unpacking and analyzing and like throwing around the

895
00:45:28,045 --> 00:45:29,525
Speaker 2: word narcissist as if he had.

896
00:45:31,085 --> 00:45:32,965
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that would means. Now, by

897
00:45:33,005 --> 00:45:34,525
Speaker 1: the way, well I'll tell you what.

898
00:45:34,765 --> 00:45:39,405
Speaker 2: Most people are incorrectly diagnosed as such. But everybody has

899
00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:43,645
Speaker 2: access to therapy podcasts, and so everybody we've like pathologized,

900
00:45:43,805 --> 00:45:47,205
Speaker 2: anyone that might anyone in anything that might bump for

901
00:45:47,245 --> 00:45:51,045
Speaker 2: you is now show slighting or whatever. Yeah, and that's

902
00:45:51,045 --> 00:45:53,565
Speaker 2: a really sad part of It's a really sad side

903
00:45:53,565 --> 00:45:53,925
Speaker 2: of women.

904
00:45:54,165 --> 00:45:56,685
Speaker 3: I said gas lighting to my husband the other day,

905
00:45:56,725 --> 00:45:58,125
Speaker 3: and he got really angry.

906
00:45:58,365 --> 00:46:01,325
Speaker 1: He went, I never want to hear that wood. That's

907
00:46:01,325 --> 00:46:02,885
Speaker 1: a wood that well.

908
00:46:04,125 --> 00:46:06,725
Speaker 2: Sometimes men don't like being told, being called out on

909
00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:07,725
Speaker 2: the thing that they're doing.

910
00:46:07,845 --> 00:46:10,405
Speaker 3: I don't think he has exception. He takes exception to

911
00:46:10,405 --> 00:46:12,485
Speaker 3: the fact that he does it. He just doesn't like

912
00:46:12,525 --> 00:46:15,845
Speaker 3: that term. It's not you saying the beat in your

913
00:46:16,205 --> 00:46:19,645
Speaker 3: show about patriarchy, Like there's some words a lot.

914
00:46:20,725 --> 00:46:22,805
Speaker 2: He's like, just I'm trying to work with you. That's

915
00:46:22,805 --> 00:46:26,925
Speaker 2: what it is, not guess fighting you. There's no full guests.

916
00:46:27,565 --> 00:46:30,325
Speaker 2: I have different bucket people for different things, and I

917
00:46:30,365 --> 00:46:33,245
Speaker 2: actually keep a small circle and everyone's allowed in it.

918
00:46:33,325 --> 00:46:37,285
Speaker 2: I'm not like a social butterfly, but I'm a very

919
00:46:37,325 --> 00:46:39,845
Speaker 2: loyal friend and I'm very I like to let people in.

920
00:46:39,925 --> 00:46:41,885
Speaker 2: But if you annoy me, like it's over. And so

921
00:46:42,525 --> 00:46:44,285
Speaker 2: I have a lot of special women in my life

922
00:46:44,285 --> 00:46:46,565
Speaker 2: that I know I convent to about certain things, and

923
00:46:46,605 --> 00:46:48,485
Speaker 2: I only keep people in my life. Is what I

924
00:46:48,485 --> 00:46:51,565
Speaker 2: mean to say that make me feel good. I don't

925
00:46:51,645 --> 00:46:54,245
Speaker 2: do the like I have a friend and she's always

926
00:46:54,245 --> 00:47:00,525
Speaker 2: saying rude things like the amount that women suffer interfriend wise,

927
00:47:00,565 --> 00:47:03,685
Speaker 2: like with their friend group, to me is a very

928
00:47:03,725 --> 00:47:06,845
Speaker 2: foreign thing. Like if if I feel like it's not

929
00:47:07,645 --> 00:47:10,445
Speaker 2: like a reciprocal relationship, like end it. And I give

930
00:47:10,445 --> 00:47:12,485
Speaker 2: that advice on my podcast all the time, like this

931
00:47:12,605 --> 00:47:14,885
Speaker 2: life is too short to have friends that make you

932
00:47:14,925 --> 00:47:17,205
Speaker 2: anxious or make you feel bad about yourself, or like

933
00:47:17,285 --> 00:47:19,325
Speaker 2: make you feel like you're not the main character your

934
00:47:19,325 --> 00:47:22,685
Speaker 2: own story. And so I think anyone that's in my

935
00:47:22,725 --> 00:47:25,285
Speaker 2: life is someone that I could turn to with any problem,

936
00:47:25,285 --> 00:47:26,165
Speaker 2: male or female.

937
00:47:26,565 --> 00:47:28,925
Speaker 1: Okay, I want to ask Eliza anything.

938
00:47:29,565 --> 00:47:33,405
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm ready, Just so people know listening. People write

939
00:47:33,405 --> 00:47:36,805
Speaker 2: into my podcast with all questions about anything from my

940
00:47:36,925 --> 00:47:39,685
Speaker 2: parents don't like that, my girlfriend is gay, I got

941
00:47:39,685 --> 00:47:42,645
Speaker 2: a weird boyfriend. I've got a weird bridesmaid. My boss

942
00:47:43,125 --> 00:47:46,765
Speaker 2: is half a monkey. So we get advice everything.

943
00:47:47,885 --> 00:47:48,365
Speaker 1: All right.

944
00:47:48,445 --> 00:47:52,285
Speaker 3: So I've got a girlfriend, and this is reminiscent of

945
00:47:52,925 --> 00:47:55,845
Speaker 3: like one of my favorite things that you do, the

946
00:47:55,925 --> 00:48:01,845
Speaker 3: party goblin. But I've got a girlfriend who is I'm

947
00:48:01,845 --> 00:48:03,525
Speaker 3: going to call her a party bully.

948
00:48:03,645 --> 00:48:04,965
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

949
00:48:05,005 --> 00:48:07,725
Speaker 1: And what I mean is she's great. I love her.

950
00:48:07,925 --> 00:48:11,725
Speaker 3: She's so fun and she's so you know, she throws

951
00:48:11,805 --> 00:48:15,725
Speaker 3: parties and she's always like planning things. But because she's

952
00:48:16,365 --> 00:48:19,085
Speaker 3: separated and so she half the time she doesn't have

953
00:48:19,125 --> 00:48:22,525
Speaker 3: her kids, so she has a very different looking week

954
00:48:22,685 --> 00:48:27,685
Speaker 3: than I have. And she's always like, now she's started

955
00:48:27,725 --> 00:48:30,645
Speaker 3: doing this thing where like you meet her someone, she's like,

956
00:48:30,925 --> 00:48:33,045
Speaker 3: you're better of Ubered, You're better of Ubered.

957
00:48:33,045 --> 00:48:34,085
Speaker 1: You better not have driven.

958
00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:35,725
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I've got to get up, but I've

959
00:48:35,725 --> 00:48:37,485
Speaker 3: got to get up at quarter past five and take

960
00:48:37,565 --> 00:48:39,365
Speaker 3: two boys to basketball practice.

961
00:48:39,565 --> 00:48:42,605
Speaker 1: Anyway, She's like, so a few.

962
00:48:42,405 --> 00:48:45,045
Speaker 3: Of us realize that we're all having the same experience

963
00:48:45,125 --> 00:48:49,645
Speaker 3: with her. Yeah, I don't know, dear Aaliza, I don't

964
00:48:49,685 --> 00:48:51,565
Speaker 3: know what to do.

965
00:48:51,565 --> 00:48:52,725
Speaker 2: Do you what do you want to do? You want

966
00:48:52,725 --> 00:48:56,445
Speaker 2: to do? Like in terms of you know, she's going

967
00:48:56,485 --> 00:48:59,165
Speaker 2: to be like that, your friend is having a renaissance.

968
00:48:59,205 --> 00:49:03,165
Speaker 2: Your friend is separated, Yeah, and she is using her

969
00:49:03,205 --> 00:49:06,805
Speaker 2: friends to replace the partner that she had, So you

970
00:49:06,925 --> 00:49:09,125
Speaker 2: are filling that gap for all the things she would

971
00:49:09,125 --> 00:49:10,965
Speaker 2: have done with her husband. Right, So she has this

972
00:49:11,045 --> 00:49:14,045
Speaker 2: free time, and she has free time without the kids,

973
00:49:14,325 --> 00:49:16,485
Speaker 2: and she wants to party, and this is normal when

974
00:49:16,485 --> 00:49:18,245
Speaker 2: women get a divorce. It's like, all right, well I'm

975
00:49:18,285 --> 00:49:20,565
Speaker 2: back on the market, let's go. But you're not in

976
00:49:20,685 --> 00:49:22,565
Speaker 2: that place, so it's not fun for you, and you

977
00:49:22,565 --> 00:49:24,765
Speaker 2: wouldn't even mind if she was like that. You don't like,

978
00:49:24,765 --> 00:49:26,965
Speaker 2: like you said, the bullying. Yeah, And what it does

979
00:49:27,085 --> 00:49:29,965
Speaker 2: is it makes you anxious because now you're like, okay, well,

980
00:49:29,965 --> 00:49:31,485
Speaker 2: are you gonna like give me shit about this? If

981
00:49:31,485 --> 00:49:34,285
Speaker 2: the whole time we're together, I'm supposed to be getting drunk.

982
00:49:35,165 --> 00:49:39,205
Speaker 2: You need to tell her that. You need to tell

983
00:49:39,245 --> 00:49:41,605
Speaker 2: her that the amount that women don't just like say

984
00:49:41,605 --> 00:49:43,325
Speaker 2: the thing, and I can't say I'm always great at it.

985
00:49:43,845 --> 00:49:44,965
Speaker 2: You need to be like, what's her.

986
00:49:44,925 --> 00:49:49,165
Speaker 3: Name, Oh yeah, Jasmine, you.

987
00:49:49,165 --> 00:49:53,005
Speaker 2: Just sit down with her. I know you don't do it.

988
00:49:53,365 --> 00:49:54,165
Speaker 2: You don't want it.

989
00:49:54,485 --> 00:49:58,525
Speaker 3: We're all scared because oh she had a party recently

990
00:49:58,645 --> 00:50:01,565
Speaker 3: and three of us caught each other's sneaking out of

991
00:50:01,605 --> 00:50:02,205
Speaker 3: the house.

992
00:50:04,005 --> 00:50:04,845
Speaker 1: I mean, you.

993
00:50:04,885 --> 00:50:07,645
Speaker 2: Gotta get good if the Irish goodbye, and a lot

994
00:50:07,685 --> 00:50:10,605
Speaker 2: of people do it from social anxiety of not wanting

995
00:50:10,645 --> 00:50:13,925
Speaker 2: to be like, okay, by we're too old to give

996
00:50:13,965 --> 00:50:17,925
Speaker 2: each other shit for leaving, Like we're just too old

997
00:50:17,965 --> 00:50:19,685
Speaker 2: for that, Like that's what you do in your twenties

998
00:50:19,725 --> 00:50:21,285
Speaker 2: when you need your girl there because you want to

999
00:50:21,285 --> 00:50:24,645
Speaker 2: talk to a guy. You don't allow it. You just

1000
00:50:24,805 --> 00:50:26,925
Speaker 2: leave and if she gives you shit, be like, what

1001
00:50:26,965 --> 00:50:29,765
Speaker 2: are you giving me shit for? Like make her say it.

1002
00:50:30,205 --> 00:50:31,845
Speaker 2: If she's like, where are you going, you'd be like,

1003
00:50:31,885 --> 00:50:33,845
Speaker 2: I can't. I have to take my sons to basketball.

1004
00:50:34,285 --> 00:50:37,045
Speaker 2: What do you want me to do? And like let

1005
00:50:37,085 --> 00:50:38,925
Speaker 2: her say to you like how I was hoping you'd

1006
00:50:38,925 --> 00:50:40,925
Speaker 2: get blasted with me on a Wednesday?

1007
00:50:41,085 --> 00:50:46,405
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly exactly. Her party goblin is strong?

1008
00:50:47,285 --> 00:50:49,165
Speaker 2: Is she is it like that when she's drunk or

1009
00:50:49,205 --> 00:50:50,685
Speaker 2: when she's sober, because she's.

1010
00:50:51,085 --> 00:50:54,605
Speaker 3: Not when she's sober, and when she's drunk it gets

1011
00:50:54,645 --> 00:50:56,285
Speaker 3: even more so.

1012
00:50:56,405 --> 00:50:58,125
Speaker 2: She's insecure and she's sad.

1013
00:50:58,285 --> 00:50:58,565
Speaker 1: Mm.

1014
00:50:58,965 --> 00:51:00,325
Speaker 2: She's a little set one hundred percent.

1015
00:51:00,405 --> 00:51:02,205
Speaker 3: And that's why we're not going to speak the truth

1016
00:51:02,245 --> 00:51:04,365
Speaker 3: to her, because this is not the time at which

1017
00:51:04,365 --> 00:51:05,445
Speaker 3: she can handle the truth.

1018
00:51:05,965 --> 00:51:07,725
Speaker 2: You don't have to speak the truth insofar as you

1019
00:51:07,725 --> 00:51:10,205
Speaker 2: don't have to say like we're feeling the filling in

1020
00:51:10,245 --> 00:51:13,005
Speaker 2: the space where your loving husband used to be and

1021
00:51:13,045 --> 00:51:16,325
Speaker 2: you're trying to reclaim your twenties, your truth can be

1022
00:51:16,885 --> 00:51:18,805
Speaker 2: I just want you to know, like, I love seeing

1023
00:51:18,845 --> 00:51:21,205
Speaker 2: you hang out with you, but it puts it makes

1024
00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:23,925
Speaker 2: me feel anxious because you always want me to party more,

1025
00:51:23,925 --> 00:51:25,565
Speaker 2: and I want you to like I'm giving you all

1026
00:51:25,605 --> 00:51:28,885
Speaker 2: that I have. Yeah, you could say that it doesn't

1027
00:51:28,885 --> 00:51:31,325
Speaker 2: have to you don't have to do the psychology of like,

1028
00:51:31,405 --> 00:51:33,365
Speaker 2: here's what we're replacing in your life. But you can

1029
00:51:33,405 --> 00:51:35,725
Speaker 2: be like it makes it unfun for me because it

1030
00:51:35,765 --> 00:51:38,445
Speaker 2: makes it feel like it wasn't enough that I came

1031
00:51:38,485 --> 00:51:40,125
Speaker 2: to this party, and I promise you, like I'm saying,

1032
00:51:40,125 --> 00:51:44,325
Speaker 2: as late as I can, but I can't always stay,

1033
00:51:44,685 --> 00:51:47,325
Speaker 2: or you do what I actually would do. I would

1034
00:51:47,445 --> 00:51:49,245
Speaker 2: let her spin those wheels and then I would just

1035
00:51:49,325 --> 00:51:53,645
Speaker 2: leave whenever I want and not answer the phone. What's

1036
00:51:53,645 --> 00:51:54,885
Speaker 2: she gonna do? Not be friends with you?

1037
00:51:54,965 --> 00:51:57,845
Speaker 1: She needs you, her husband's gone, I know, say, I know,

1038
00:51:58,005 --> 00:51:59,365
Speaker 1: say she can't remember.

1039
00:52:00,485 --> 00:52:05,845
Speaker 2: That's on your side, her alcoholism that you could do that.

1040
00:52:06,085 --> 00:52:08,805
Speaker 2: She's never gonna call you tomorrow and be like why

1041
00:52:08,805 --> 00:52:11,685
Speaker 2: did you leave? It's in the moment. She wants people

1042
00:52:11,765 --> 00:52:14,045
Speaker 2: around her, and this breaks my heart because she's lonely

1043
00:52:14,685 --> 00:52:17,205
Speaker 2: and she wants to create a party. And I get that,

1044
00:52:17,805 --> 00:52:20,565
Speaker 2: but you need to just be okay with like, I'm

1045
00:52:20,605 --> 00:52:23,165
Speaker 2: just leaving and it is what it is like knowing

1046
00:52:23,245 --> 00:52:26,205
Speaker 2: you can just accept how she is and then just

1047
00:52:26,325 --> 00:52:29,205
Speaker 2: move on from there because you're not. I'm not going

1048
00:52:29,245 --> 00:52:30,525
Speaker 2: to be able to change it unless you do want

1049
00:52:30,525 --> 00:52:34,245
Speaker 2: to have that talk. I've given you three options.

1050
00:52:33,605 --> 00:52:37,925
Speaker 1: Very just you're an option factory. I feel bad for her,

1051
00:52:38,205 --> 00:52:38,965
Speaker 1: Yes so do I.

1052
00:52:39,045 --> 00:52:42,645
Speaker 3: And actually she's divine and I really respect the party

1053
00:52:42,645 --> 00:52:45,845
Speaker 3: throws because you know, after a certain age, people start.

1054
00:52:45,605 --> 00:52:48,845
Speaker 1: Going, I'm going to have a milestone birthday. They don't

1055
00:52:48,845 --> 00:52:49,405
Speaker 1: have parties.

1056
00:52:49,405 --> 00:52:51,845
Speaker 3: Remember in your twenties, you'd like have a party because

1057
00:52:51,885 --> 00:52:54,365
Speaker 3: you had got a new couch or yeah, you know.

1058
00:52:55,365 --> 00:52:59,365
Speaker 1: And I love her, I love her further some sort

1059
00:52:59,405 --> 00:53:01,085
Speaker 1: of social celebration.

1060
00:53:01,885 --> 00:53:03,725
Speaker 2: Then I think it's just the good with the bad.

1061
00:53:03,845 --> 00:53:05,845
Speaker 2: I do feel like as women were always trying to

1062
00:53:05,885 --> 00:53:08,365
Speaker 2: like tweak our friends, like she'd be great if she

1063
00:53:08,405 --> 00:53:10,805
Speaker 2: just did this, like we're all whole people and for

1064
00:53:10,925 --> 00:53:13,045
Speaker 2: all of those great things, Like this is like the weird,

1065
00:53:13,045 --> 00:53:16,045
Speaker 2: desperate kind of party goblin side of her. So let

1066
00:53:16,085 --> 00:53:18,845
Speaker 2: her say it, let her be mad about the ubering,

1067
00:53:18,845 --> 00:53:20,805
Speaker 2: and you can just be like I didn't. Can I

1068
00:53:20,845 --> 00:53:23,365
Speaker 2: still stay like you can just meet it with honesty,

1069
00:53:23,485 --> 00:53:26,045
Speaker 2: be like I did my best. She's like, I'm just kidding,

1070
00:53:26,285 --> 00:53:29,925
Speaker 2: I'm just pulling your lady, and then leave, let her

1071
00:53:29,965 --> 00:53:31,645
Speaker 2: go fall into a punch bowl.

1072
00:53:32,245 --> 00:53:32,685
Speaker 1: Just leave.

1073
00:53:32,725 --> 00:53:34,965
Speaker 2: What's she gonna do? Not be friends with you? No

1074
00:53:35,205 --> 00:53:35,725
Speaker 2: I needs you?

1075
00:53:36,885 --> 00:53:38,765
Speaker 1: Was that an Australian partty goblin?

1076
00:53:40,645 --> 00:53:44,405
Speaker 2: It was? It was? I have to like think about it.

1077
00:53:44,485 --> 00:53:46,565
Speaker 2: I lived for New Ze. I lived in New Zealand

1078
00:53:46,605 --> 00:53:49,725
Speaker 2: for a month, and I got really good at their accent.

1079
00:53:49,965 --> 00:53:51,645
Speaker 2: But you can only have one in your head.

1080
00:53:51,725 --> 00:53:54,605
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it's slightly different.

1081
00:53:55,085 --> 00:53:57,885
Speaker 1: The New Zealand excent is slightly different.

1082
00:53:58,445 --> 00:54:03,405
Speaker 2: It's smaller, it's really small, and it's squished down. And

1083
00:54:03,485 --> 00:54:07,445
Speaker 2: but a Sydney accent is it almost sounds like a

1084
00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:13,485
Speaker 2: southern head an Australian accent, like the Sydney is like

1085
00:54:13,565 --> 00:54:16,085
Speaker 2: a twangy accent.

1086
00:54:16,685 --> 00:54:18,125
Speaker 1: Yeah, go on, you got it.

1087
00:54:18,845 --> 00:54:20,765
Speaker 2: Maybe Melbourne's more in the front.

1088
00:54:21,125 --> 00:54:25,805
Speaker 1: Oh come on, I look at you. It's like Eliza

1089
00:54:25,885 --> 00:54:26,405
Speaker 1: too Little.

1090
00:54:28,165 --> 00:54:30,805
Speaker 2: I got my name from that from my fair lady. Actually,

1091
00:54:30,845 --> 00:54:35,285
Speaker 2: did you? I did? Now I can't stop doing it.

1092
00:54:35,365 --> 00:54:37,285
Speaker 2: I have watched my fair share of katherin Kim.

1093
00:54:38,165 --> 00:54:38,805
Speaker 3: Oh.

1094
00:54:39,005 --> 00:54:41,325
Speaker 1: They'll be very thrilled by that, as we all will.

1095
00:54:41,645 --> 00:54:43,685
Speaker 3: And also I saw, you know the thing about your

1096
00:54:43,725 --> 00:54:46,965
Speaker 3: fans giving you gifts. I saw they give you tim tams,

1097
00:54:46,965 --> 00:54:49,285
Speaker 3: And I'm like what does he's done that? Oh?

1098
00:54:49,365 --> 00:54:51,925
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, so one of our best friends is named

1099
00:54:52,085 --> 00:54:55,365
Speaker 2: uh Was and he's Australian, and so he introduced me

1100
00:54:55,405 --> 00:54:58,525
Speaker 2: to those years ago, and then I would go to Australia,

1101
00:54:58,645 --> 00:55:01,045
Speaker 2: load up and now I'm good. But it is always

1102
00:55:01,525 --> 00:55:05,685
Speaker 2: it's always a delight to go down there, yes, and

1103
00:55:05,805 --> 00:55:07,605
Speaker 2: be there with the people.

1104
00:55:08,365 --> 00:55:09,125
Speaker 1: Was that your mate?

1105
00:55:09,885 --> 00:55:15,765
Speaker 3: Well, Eliza Schlessinger, your tim Tams and your world of weights.

1106
00:55:15,925 --> 00:55:18,445
Speaker 3: When you join us, I think in April you're going

1107
00:55:18,525 --> 00:55:19,325
Speaker 3: to be all ouse.

1108
00:55:20,125 --> 00:55:23,685
Speaker 2: I will be there April twentieth, twenty second and twenty fourth.

1109
00:55:23,725 --> 00:55:28,405
Speaker 2: I'm coming down for a proper flat white.

1110
00:55:29,045 --> 00:55:31,205
Speaker 1: And when you're in Melbourne, you've got to order a magic.

1111
00:55:32,325 --> 00:55:34,565
Speaker 2: Oh I have a huge coffee person. It's a magic.

1112
00:55:34,605 --> 00:55:37,565
Speaker 3: A magic is like a double restretto and it's got

1113
00:55:37,645 --> 00:55:38,485
Speaker 3: like less milk.

1114
00:55:38,565 --> 00:55:39,285
Speaker 1: It's stunning.

1115
00:55:40,085 --> 00:55:42,765
Speaker 2: Is that it's an espresso though? Yeah? Yeah, let me

1116
00:55:42,885 --> 00:55:43,885
Speaker 2: let me tell you the secret.

1117
00:55:44,565 --> 00:55:47,925
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh hang on, this is big talk, little.

1118
00:55:47,805 --> 00:55:51,085
Speaker 2: It's not a secret. It's an admission. As an American,

1119
00:55:52,005 --> 00:55:54,645
Speaker 2: I travel a lot. I want to go to your country.

1120
00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:56,365
Speaker 2: I want to do the customs, want to ether thing.

1121
00:55:56,845 --> 00:56:00,125
Speaker 2: There are ways that I crave a cup of drip coffee,

1122
00:56:00,405 --> 00:56:03,045
Speaker 2: and the whole world is like, oh, you mean espresso

1123
00:56:03,125 --> 00:56:06,365
Speaker 2: and you want shitty cups of shrip coffee.

1124
00:56:06,765 --> 00:56:08,285
Speaker 1: You want to know less cup.

1125
00:56:09,085 --> 00:56:11,845
Speaker 2: It's so hard, and they'll be like, oh, an Americano, And

1126
00:56:11,885 --> 00:56:15,285
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's the one thing. It is hard because

1127
00:56:15,285 --> 00:56:18,685
Speaker 2: I don't like espresso, so it's hard for me.

1128
00:56:18,965 --> 00:56:22,085
Speaker 3: You're going to be wandering around with the best cafes

1129
00:56:22,085 --> 00:56:27,565
Speaker 3: in the world looking for a Starbucks never never never.

1130
00:56:27,685 --> 00:56:29,765
Speaker 2: But and I get it. I get that it's an

1131
00:56:29,765 --> 00:56:33,005
Speaker 2: American thing. Ris coffee is different and so but I

1132
00:56:33,045 --> 00:56:35,125
Speaker 2: just can't give myself over to espresso. I'm just not

1133
00:56:35,205 --> 00:56:35,685
Speaker 2: there yet.

1134
00:56:36,205 --> 00:56:39,445
Speaker 1: You'll get there, We'll get there. Yeah, you'll get.

1135
00:56:39,245 --> 00:56:46,205
Speaker 3: There, Eliza, because you've got first world experience with the

1136
00:56:46,245 --> 00:56:52,085
Speaker 3: brain fog and the subsequent kind of inertia and immobilizing

1137
00:56:52,125 --> 00:56:52,845
Speaker 3: that comes with it.

1138
00:56:53,045 --> 00:56:54,405
Speaker 1: If people are listening.

1139
00:56:54,045 --> 00:56:58,925
Speaker 3: And they feel that, what is what do you suggest

1140
00:56:59,085 --> 00:57:05,445
Speaker 3: for them.

1141
00:57:02,405 --> 00:57:07,285
Speaker 2: In terms of regaining creativity and momentum feeling better. I

1142
00:57:07,325 --> 00:57:11,885
Speaker 2: think people really overlook the importance of actually just doing something.

1143
00:57:12,725 --> 00:57:15,005
Speaker 2: Like when I was pregnant, like I still worked out,

1144
00:57:15,765 --> 00:57:20,245
Speaker 2: I still walk, like I still moved through the motions.

1145
00:57:21,085 --> 00:57:24,725
Speaker 2: So if you're a writer, still right, it doesn't have

1146
00:57:24,845 --> 00:57:28,285
Speaker 2: to be inspiring prophetic. You can just sit down and

1147
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,965
Speaker 2: just for ten minutes for stand up. I get up

1148
00:57:30,965 --> 00:57:33,285
Speaker 2: there and even if I'm doing old jokes, you find

1149
00:57:33,365 --> 00:57:36,285
Speaker 2: little bits in there. So much of it truly is

1150
00:57:36,365 --> 00:57:40,805
Speaker 2: showing up. I really, you know, put on your sports brad,

1151
00:57:40,925 --> 00:57:44,125
Speaker 2: just get yourself into the gym. Even if you only

1152
00:57:44,125 --> 00:57:46,565
Speaker 2: did half, that's more than many could even do, which

1153
00:57:46,565 --> 00:57:48,485
Speaker 2: is kind of a theme that we started with at

1154
00:57:48,485 --> 00:57:50,965
Speaker 2: the beginning of this and giving yourself a break. You

1155
00:57:50,965 --> 00:57:54,605
Speaker 2: don't have to force it. And so that's my answer

1156
00:57:54,765 --> 00:57:56,445
Speaker 2: is a big part of my life. I think it

1157
00:57:56,485 --> 00:57:58,805
Speaker 2: was George Carlin that said, what is it eighty percent

1158
00:57:59,205 --> 00:57:59,845
Speaker 2: but ninety.

1159
00:57:59,605 --> 00:58:00,685
Speaker 1: Percent yew Business show?

1160
00:58:01,205 --> 00:58:03,885
Speaker 2: But what he means by that is like just putting

1161
00:58:03,925 --> 00:58:07,045
Speaker 2: yourself in the place and just doing a little bit,

1162
00:58:08,365 --> 00:58:10,365
Speaker 2: and that always begets more. And so I'm a big

1163
00:58:10,365 --> 00:58:12,565
Speaker 2: believer in at least going through the motions.

1164
00:58:13,165 --> 00:58:16,565
Speaker 3: Sometimes you've got to stop wanting or waiting to feel

1165
00:58:16,685 --> 00:58:20,325
Speaker 3: the impetus to do it, or like for working outs,

1166
00:58:20,645 --> 00:58:22,685
Speaker 3: don't wait to enjoy it.

1167
00:58:23,605 --> 00:58:24,645
Speaker 1: Just stop doing it.

1168
00:58:25,325 --> 00:58:27,125
Speaker 2: Just start doing it. To start moving your body, just

1169
00:58:27,125 --> 00:58:31,805
Speaker 2: start writing something down do something creative adjacent. I hate

1170
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:33,885
Speaker 2: that I'm the person that's like take a walk, but

1171
00:58:34,045 --> 00:58:38,005
Speaker 2: like the word opens up or get into it and

1172
00:58:38,245 --> 00:58:43,005
Speaker 2: feel that misery and write it down. I have documents

1173
00:58:43,045 --> 00:58:47,205
Speaker 2: on my computer about times I felt really horrible. It

1174
00:58:47,245 --> 00:58:52,765
Speaker 2: sounds like I'm crying. I'm not power or something. It's

1175
00:58:52,805 --> 00:58:56,725
Speaker 2: all valid art, and so you don't have to You

1176
00:58:56,725 --> 00:59:00,045
Speaker 2: can just look at things with different lenses. But part

1177
00:59:00,165 --> 00:59:02,725
Speaker 2: of the practice of this art is knowing when to

1178
00:59:02,805 --> 00:59:06,765
Speaker 2: capture it and not dismissing thoughts as frivolous because they're

1179
00:59:06,765 --> 00:59:08,565
Speaker 2: coming through your head for a reason. Even if they're

1180
00:59:08,565 --> 00:59:09,085
Speaker 2: bad thoughts.

1181
00:59:09,965 --> 00:59:13,645
Speaker 3: Well, that's just life, isn't it, even beyond whatever your

1182
00:59:13,725 --> 00:59:14,885
Speaker 3: field of specialty is.

1183
00:59:16,365 --> 00:59:19,285
Speaker 2: Just show up, get in the car, put on the wig,

1184
00:59:20,125 --> 00:59:23,445
Speaker 2: the lipstick, just go. Nobody thinks you're as awful as

1185
00:59:23,485 --> 00:59:23,765
Speaker 2: you do.

1186
00:59:24,565 --> 00:59:26,565
Speaker 1: Where are we going? With the wig and the lipstick?

1187
00:59:26,605 --> 00:59:27,325
Speaker 1: Where are we going?

1188
00:59:27,845 --> 00:59:32,525
Speaker 2: It's very sexual, It's not a properb I don't always

1189
00:59:32,525 --> 00:59:33,165
Speaker 2: said where.

1190
00:59:35,725 --> 00:59:39,085
Speaker 3: Thank you for sharing yourself with us when you're spent

1191
00:59:39,485 --> 00:59:46,965
Speaker 3: thank you? How great is Eliza? I mean, I've known

1192
00:59:46,965 --> 00:59:49,525
Speaker 3: a lot of comedians in my life and career, and

1193
00:59:49,965 --> 00:59:54,085
Speaker 3: what I find most remarkable about her is her ability

1194
00:59:54,205 --> 00:59:57,045
Speaker 3: to respond to the moment, to really be alive in

1195
00:59:57,085 --> 01:00:01,045
Speaker 3: it and improvise, almost like you can feel the wheels

1196
01:00:01,085 --> 01:00:05,525
Speaker 3: of her brain turning her half a person brain looking

1197
01:00:05,565 --> 01:00:07,205
Speaker 3: for the funny this whole time.

1198
01:00:07,885 --> 01:00:08,885
Speaker 1: And remember that's.

1199
01:00:08,725 --> 01:00:11,205
Speaker 3: The version of her that she considers half a person,

1200
01:00:11,245 --> 01:00:14,365
Speaker 3: the whole person in all her glory. Will be in

1201
01:00:14,445 --> 01:00:17,085
Speaker 3: Australia live in April, and we'll be popping all the

1202
01:00:17,125 --> 01:00:19,605
Speaker 3: links you need to get tickers in our show notes.

1203
01:00:20,325 --> 01:00:23,765
Speaker 3: And her new comedy special A Different Animal, which stars

1204
01:00:23,765 --> 01:00:27,845
Speaker 3: Eliza and her Pants, is coming out on Amazon this week.

1205
01:00:28,085 --> 01:00:30,605
Speaker 3: I got an early copy and trust me, you are

1206
01:00:30,605 --> 01:00:32,165
Speaker 3: going to love it. Oh.

1207
01:00:32,245 --> 01:00:35,085
Speaker 1: By the way, that documentary I mentioned is called Over

1208
01:00:35,205 --> 01:00:35,645
Speaker 1: and Over.

1209
01:00:36,405 --> 01:00:39,165
Speaker 3: I don't know why more people don't ask Eliza about

1210
01:00:39,165 --> 01:00:42,365
Speaker 3: it because it is actually brilliant and a real behind

1211
01:00:42,405 --> 01:00:47,045
Speaker 3: the scenes peep at how a comedian puts a show together.

1212
01:00:47,285 --> 01:00:48,845
Speaker 1: I highly recommend you check it out.

1213
01:00:50,045 --> 01:00:53,525
Speaker 3: The executive producer of No Filter is Nama Brown, Senior

1214
01:00:53,565 --> 01:00:57,565
Speaker 3: producer is Grace Rufrey. Sound design is by Jacob Brown,

1215
01:00:57,645 --> 01:01:01,085
Speaker 3: and I'm your host, kateline Brook. Back with you next week.