WEBVTT - Finding The Joy In A Pile Of Shift

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Mamma Mere acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters

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<v Speaker 2>that this podcast is recorded on. Your children were tiny,

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<v Speaker 2>and now they're not. Your parents were giants and now

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<v Speaker 2>they're not. You were the bold young thing in the office,

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<v Speaker 2>and now you're not. Let's call it the shift. It's

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<v Speaker 2>as stark as the moment you can no longer read

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<v Speaker 2>the small print, and as subtle as the slow creep

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<v Speaker 2>of crapy lines where your cute dimples used to hang out.

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<v Speaker 2>The shift can be joyful. There's such pride in seeing

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<v Speaker 2>someone you've cared for so long learning how to care

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<v Speaker 2>for you in little ways, a cup of tea, a

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<v Speaker 2>sincd iPhone, and big ways, a mental load lifted, a

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<v Speaker 2>solid force beside you as you weather bad news. It's

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<v Speaker 2>heart filling seeing the tide flowing both ways on a

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<v Speaker 2>caring stream that was, for the longest time only running

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<v Speaker 2>in one direction. You giving them, growing big and warm

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<v Speaker 2>on all that love you've funneled their way. And the

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<v Speaker 2>shift can be sharp. Understanding the lasts you didn't know

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<v Speaker 2>were lasts really are moments that will never repeat. A

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<v Speaker 2>sure footed walk with your dad, a long spirited row

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<v Speaker 2>with your mom, an unself conscious little hand slipped into

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<v Speaker 2>yours on the street.

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<v Speaker 1>Takes a minute.

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<v Speaker 2>We have to figure out what to do with our

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<v Speaker 2>hands and our hearts. Now our job descriptions have changed.

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<v Speaker 2>Parenting your parents is a whole new skill that requires

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<v Speaker 2>diplomacy and patience and a deep understanding that no one

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<v Speaker 2>ever wants to see themselves as helpless, watching kids who

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<v Speaker 2>are no longer kids make childish choices, and holding your

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<v Speaker 2>tongue realizing that you're now seen as office mum, even

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<v Speaker 2>if you're not anyone's bloody mum. There's solidarity in the shift.

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<v Speaker 2>Support can be found in sister friends all around, and

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<v Speaker 2>there's loneliness too, when the cacophony of family chaos fades

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<v Speaker 2>into a quiet Friday night. Maybe you're there, maybe you're not.

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<v Speaker 2>Midwomen are the rebels who threw out scripts and had

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<v Speaker 2>kids early, late, not at all, who moved far from

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<v Speaker 2>families to carve their own paths, who pushed back on

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<v Speaker 2>default caring roles that left them feeling exploited, and lent

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<v Speaker 2>into ones that made us feel privileged and full. And

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<v Speaker 2>then there's just no choice. We love who we love,

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<v Speaker 2>We want them safe and cared for.

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<v Speaker 1>Will do what it takes.

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<v Speaker 2>We can't fight forever, the fact that the world has

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<v Speaker 2>slipped an other lens over the way it views us.

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<v Speaker 2>Once we no longer read young, We just hold hands

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<v Speaker 2>and get on with it, whisper to each other about

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<v Speaker 2>the weirdness, the strain, the freedoms, the losses big and small,

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<v Speaker 2>the hilarity about how we've learnt over and again that

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<v Speaker 2>changes the only constant, and yet every single time it's

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<v Speaker 2>a sticky surprise. As a whole lot of cartoon lions

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<v Speaker 2>taught us in the nineties, it's the circle of life, friends,

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<v Speaker 2>and no one is wiser than a cartoon lion.

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<v Speaker 1>We're all connected in the great circle of life.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, I'm Holly Wainwright, and I am mid midlife, mid family,

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<v Speaker 2>mid chaos. Thanks to you, my friends, this season of

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<v Speaker 2>our new show, Yours and Mine is bigger than ever.

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<v Speaker 2>You embrace sex. Don't get me wrong, I know a

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<v Speaker 2>whole lot of us are not actually embracing sex at

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<v Speaker 2>the moment with Perry and everything, but you jumped on

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<v Speaker 2>our episode about libido and adventure with Leslie Morgan, and

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't be more delighted about that. Go tell someone

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<v Speaker 2>about it if you think they need to hear it.

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<v Speaker 2>And hopefully you're going to love today's EPP just as much. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm that person asking you to like, follow, rate and

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<v Speaker 2>review wherever you're listening just today, then I'll shut up

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<v Speaker 2>about Today's episode is about the shift that moment in

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<v Speaker 2>your life when a lot of the established parameters of

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<v Speaker 2>how you live at home, at work, with family, with

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<v Speaker 2>friends begin to change shape. And I told you last

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<v Speaker 2>week that this season we've cooked up a dinner party

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<v Speaker 2>for you. Over the eighth episodes. That's a spicy mixture

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<v Speaker 2>of names you'll know and some you don't, but all

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<v Speaker 2>have something to say that we all need to hear today.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the former Kylie Gillies has been in living rooms

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<v Speaker 2>across Australia every morning for seventeen years. She's the co

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<v Speaker 2>host of the Morning Show with Larry Mda.

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<v Speaker 3>Adam Rodriguez my hero, crime scene investigator.

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<v Speaker 1>Stripper and look at night in shining Armor. Look how

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<v Speaker 1>he comes to my rescue. Larry, what are there? You

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<v Speaker 1>wouldn't never have done this for me?

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<v Speaker 2>It just hello. The kind of live tea, the job that,

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<v Speaker 2>as she tells me, in this chat means one minute

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<v Speaker 2>you're talking about foot fungus, and the next you're interviewing

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<v Speaker 2>a rock star, and the next you're doing a TikTok

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<v Speaker 2>dance and playing the recorder. I wanted to talk to

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<v Speaker 2>Kylie because and we start straight off talking about this.

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<v Speaker 2>When I got to go on the morning show to

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<v Speaker 2>talk about mid, she said something pretty funny to me

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<v Speaker 2>about what she hoped we weren't going to discuss on

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<v Speaker 2>this show. It told me, of course, what I already knew,

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<v Speaker 2>that Kylie's a smart, engaged journalist with opinions, but also

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<v Speaker 2>that as a midwoman, she's perfectly placed to talk about

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<v Speaker 2>everything else. Mid's a wrestling with kids, growing up, losing

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<v Speaker 2>and caring for much loved parents, reflecting on your career,

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<v Speaker 2>and working out what's next. And I was right, we

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<v Speaker 2>get into all of that. She's also, in very stark

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<v Speaker 2>contrast to episode one's guest, been married to the same man,

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<v Speaker 2>her husband, Tony, since she was twenty two. I loved

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<v Speaker 2>talking to Kylie, who told me she'd never done a

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<v Speaker 2>podcast interview before and she was a bit nervous. So

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<v Speaker 2>here we go. Mid season two, Episode two, The Shift

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<v Speaker 2>with Kylie Gillies.

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<v Speaker 1>Kylie, I was.

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<v Speaker 2>Lucky enough to come into the morning show and sit

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<v Speaker 2>on the couch with you to talk about mid when

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<v Speaker 2>we first launched, and I'm just gonna share a little

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<v Speaker 2>behind the scenes. You said to me before we went on,

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<v Speaker 2>you said, I hope this show isn't about fucking maniform

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<v Speaker 2>and hot flushes and stuff. She's like so much of that.

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<v Speaker 1>Around and I was like, well, tell me why you

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<v Speaker 1>felt like that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, First up, I would have absolutely said that, I

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<v Speaker 3>know really didn't swear.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe you didn't swear. Maybe that I'm reading I probably.

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<v Speaker 1>Did because I would feel comfortable with you.

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<v Speaker 3>So one. I don't remember saying it, but it sounds

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<v Speaker 3>absolutely one hundred percent something I would say. I love

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<v Speaker 3>being in this era of my life. And yes, that's

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<v Speaker 3>something that affects all of us over a certain age,

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<v Speaker 3>isn't it.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's great it's getting so.

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<v Speaker 3>Much publicity at the moment, But sometimes I think at

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<v Speaker 3>the expense of just chatting about a lot of other stuff, right,

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<v Speaker 3>But I don't mind. I mean, I don't want to

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<v Speaker 3>talk about it twenty four to seven.

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<v Speaker 2>But I wonder if because this is how I feel sometimes,

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<v Speaker 2>right is sometimes I feel like and this is very much.

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<v Speaker 2>The premise of MID is that we do sometimes talk

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<v Speaker 2>about hormones and things.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Want that to be the only conversation that women our

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<v Speaker 2>era are having, because sometimes I worry that it makes

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<v Speaker 2>a sound like.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well, yeah, well you know what I think. Well,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to be dismissed a bit. I don't

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<v Speaker 3>want to be defined by my ovaries. Yeah, I don't

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<v Speaker 3>want to be defined by my minstrual cycle. I think

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<v Speaker 3>I've got a lot more to offer and to talk about.

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<v Speaker 3>I think we should talk about it because it affects

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<v Speaker 3>our everyday life sometimes, but I don't want to be

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<v Speaker 3>defined by that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>So I think the pendulum was too far the other way,

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<v Speaker 3>and my god, that pendulum has swung all the.

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<v Speaker 1>Way over, you know, to the extreme. And look, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>if age back like three percent, that could be good.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I totally know what you mean, because you want

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about menopause talk.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, like not not you, but like just out there.

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<v Speaker 3>That's great, But you know, I don't want it to

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<v Speaker 3>be the only thing that defines women over fifty.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, and also it might be true because also when

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<v Speaker 2>you're in the public eye and I struggle with this.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not in the public eye like you are, but

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<v Speaker 2>you don't want to be seen as being old because

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<v Speaker 2>it kind of pushes you into a different space where

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<v Speaker 2>you're like, I love my work, I love my career,

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<v Speaker 2>I love what I'm doing. I don't want to keep

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<v Speaker 2>doing it. I don't want you to suddenly think that I'm,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, over the hill, Holly.

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<v Speaker 3>I would like to be just a pin up girl,

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<v Speaker 3>not the pinup girl for minipause, right, you know, And

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<v Speaker 3>it's the same, you know, I think that, don't you

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<v Speaker 3>think that's how do.

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<v Speaker 1>You feel like that?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>I do, and I al I don't want to be

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<v Speaker 3>a pinup girl either, But I'm just saying that I

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<v Speaker 3>just don't want to be the face of menopause unless

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<v Speaker 3>someone would like to give me five hundred thousand dollars

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<v Speaker 3>to the face of been a pause? Is there s

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<v Speaker 3>to drug or pill or something? And you know what,

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<v Speaker 3>that would be great, let's talk.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I totally at it. So your career, which has

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<v Speaker 2>been is incredible. It has been incredible. It is incredible.

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<v Speaker 2>You've done a lot of different things, right, So you

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<v Speaker 2>have obviously been a reporter for a lot of years,

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<v Speaker 2>you've done lots of news, you've done lots of sport,

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<v Speaker 2>and now you've been in living rooms on the morning

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<v Speaker 2>show for a really long time.

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<v Speaker 3>Seventeen years with Larry, we started the show. People forget

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<v Speaker 3>that we were the first ones on Channel seven to

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<v Speaker 3>do the morning show because it was Kerrie Anne Kennerley

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<v Speaker 3>on Channel nine had a very successful show, and then

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<v Speaker 3>Channel seven didn't have one. So Larry and I were

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<v Speaker 3>a foot where they put us together and we started

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<v Speaker 3>it seventeen years ago and we're still there.

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<v Speaker 2>One of the things that I know people love about

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<v Speaker 2>it is the chemistry between you two, which is amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>I also think, and this is interesting about ambition as

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<v Speaker 2>you get older, right, is that I don't know if

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<v Speaker 2>this happens to you, but it happens to me sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>that Mum and me and people like, we've got to

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<v Speaker 2>stay relevant, we've got to stay cool. So do this, ladies, TikTok,

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<v Speaker 2>trend and let's do this, and let's do that, and

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<v Speaker 2>now podcasts, video and now we're all on social and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, if you want to stay in the culture,

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<v Speaker 2>which I think journalists, do you embrace it? Do you

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<v Speaker 2>embrace all that stuff, or do you ever feel like, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>this isn't what I got into it for.

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<v Speaker 1>I know what you're saying.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not on TikTok, but I would get dragged into

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<v Speaker 3>TikTok sometimes that the station will put up.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got an advantage because you can dance well.

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<v Speaker 3>I got onto Instagram in the first place because I

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<v Speaker 3>do love photography.

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<v Speaker 1>It's one of the passions.

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<v Speaker 3>So I could look at Instagram and go I love

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<v Speaker 3>it for the photographic side of it, because I love

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<v Speaker 3>taking photos, and I would take photos on the sidelines

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<v Speaker 3>of my kids' footy matches, and I was sort of

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<v Speaker 3>like the unofficial team photographer. So I got into Instagram

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<v Speaker 3>for that. Is it something I did to stay relevant? Look,

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<v Speaker 3>I think it is. If I haven't done something, I think,

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<v Speaker 3>oh I should really do something. I do like it

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<v Speaker 3>to a certain extent, but I don't let it run

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<v Speaker 3>my life. Like a lot of people are really good

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<v Speaker 3>and they talk to camera a lot. I talk to

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<v Speaker 3>camera between nine and eleven thirty. I don't tend to

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<v Speaker 3>do a lot of Hey, get ready with me, and Hey,

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<v Speaker 3>what are we doing. I don't tend to do a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>Of that because I guess I do it.

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<v Speaker 3>You know on the big Telly Do, I probably don't

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<v Speaker 3>do as much of that, and maybe I should.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I had to do what's authentic to me, and sometimes

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<v Speaker 3>I go to do that and I don't feel comfy.

0:11:34.647 --> 0:11:37.527
<v Speaker 3>Speaking of not feeling comfy, can I say, like being

0:11:37.567 --> 0:11:40.167
<v Speaker 3>here with you, I've been really nervous about coming and

0:11:40.247 --> 0:11:40.647
<v Speaker 3>doing this.

0:11:40.847 --> 0:11:43.127
<v Speaker 2>Weird to me that you would be nervous to speak to.

0:11:43.007 --> 0:11:46.567
<v Speaker 3>Me because I'm used to asking the questions, not being

0:11:46.607 --> 0:11:49.887
<v Speaker 3>on this side, and I know it's a little bit confronting.

0:11:50.047 --> 0:11:52.127
<v Speaker 3>So it really gives me an insight to what it's

0:11:52.207 --> 0:11:54.727
<v Speaker 3>like being a guest on my show. Maybe you know,

0:11:54.887 --> 0:11:57.247
<v Speaker 3>maybe I should have more empathy for my guests or something,

0:11:57.287 --> 0:12:00.607
<v Speaker 3>because it's quite nerve wracking. And I don't like speaking

0:12:00.647 --> 0:12:03.127
<v Speaker 3>about myself as she sits down to do a forty

0:12:03.167 --> 0:12:05.727
<v Speaker 3>five minute podcast about herself, but do you know what

0:12:05.767 --> 0:12:08.887
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I don't actually enjoy it, and I tend

0:12:08.887 --> 0:12:11.447
<v Speaker 3>to show away. I've never done a podcast before. Oh

0:12:11.567 --> 0:12:13.647
<v Speaker 3>I've never been on that, so you feel very honored.

0:12:14.007 --> 0:12:15.487
<v Speaker 2>But you know, what I was going to tell you

0:12:15.687 --> 0:12:18.647
<v Speaker 2>is that because obviously, before I sit down with anybody,

0:12:18.687 --> 0:12:20.247
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to go and look at lots of things

0:12:20.287 --> 0:12:21.927
<v Speaker 2>about them and read lots of things about them, because

0:12:21.927 --> 0:12:23.487
<v Speaker 2>I think you've always got to, you know, make sure

0:12:23.527 --> 0:12:26.407
<v Speaker 2>you're giving your guest your respect. I think that your

0:12:26.847 --> 0:12:29.927
<v Speaker 2>social presence, as we were just talking about, is perfect

0:12:29.967 --> 0:12:32.767
<v Speaker 2>for you, right because you do share. You've shared some

0:12:32.847 --> 0:12:35.967
<v Speaker 2>really beautiful things about your family, about your kids, about

0:12:35.967 --> 0:12:39.527
<v Speaker 2>your parents, about your life, but not like a in

0:12:39.567 --> 0:12:41.967
<v Speaker 2>a way that feels entirely appropriate for a grown up

0:12:41.967 --> 0:12:45.847
<v Speaker 2>woman who you know has a serious career but also

0:12:45.967 --> 0:12:47.887
<v Speaker 2>understands that people are curious about them.

0:12:48.047 --> 0:12:49.487
<v Speaker 1>Like that's partly thank you.

0:12:49.487 --> 0:12:51.007
<v Speaker 2>You know your job, and I think you do a

0:12:51.047 --> 0:12:53.807
<v Speaker 2>very good job. And as fear feeling uncomfortable, I'm like,

0:12:54.247 --> 0:12:54.847
<v Speaker 2>please don't.

0:12:55.847 --> 0:12:56.407
<v Speaker 1>I'm not even.

0:12:56.327 --> 0:12:59.447
<v Speaker 3>Comfy in a just so worried about it last night

0:12:59.447 --> 0:13:00.687
<v Speaker 3>like going to say, I thought, I wonder what the

0:13:00.687 --> 0:13:01.647
<v Speaker 3>hole is going to ask?

0:13:01.887 --> 0:13:03.527
<v Speaker 1>How am I going to sound interesting?

0:13:04.367 --> 0:13:06.487
<v Speaker 3>I think I hope why people like the Morning show

0:13:06.527 --> 0:13:10.047
<v Speaker 3>too is that hopefully they see themselves in a little bit.

0:13:10.127 --> 0:13:12.367
<v Speaker 3>And I know I get great hair and makeup done

0:13:12.407 --> 0:13:14.407
<v Speaker 3>every day and that's a real treat.

0:13:14.847 --> 0:13:17.247
<v Speaker 1>But I've come from Tamworth. I was born in Tamworth.

0:13:17.807 --> 0:13:20.287
<v Speaker 3>My dad worked two jobs, you know, so I could

0:13:20.327 --> 0:13:21.327
<v Speaker 3>afford a flute lesson.

0:13:21.807 --> 0:13:23.887
<v Speaker 1>I have one sister. Mum worked as well.

0:13:24.367 --> 0:13:26.647
<v Speaker 3>She stayed at home until we were old enough to

0:13:26.807 --> 0:13:28.567
<v Speaker 3>you know, walk home ourselves from.

0:13:28.447 --> 0:13:30.447
<v Speaker 1>School, and then she went back to work part time.

0:13:30.807 --> 0:13:35.087
<v Speaker 1>So you know, I get what it's like not to be.

0:13:38.207 --> 0:13:41.407
<v Speaker 3>Fabulous or not to be the person who was born

0:13:41.447 --> 0:13:46.327
<v Speaker 3>into wealth or privilege or any of those things. I mean,

0:13:46.367 --> 0:13:48.487
<v Speaker 3>I've worked. I've worked since I was seventeen years old.

0:13:49.087 --> 0:13:52.127
<v Speaker 3>So people when they meet me say, oh, you're just

0:13:52.247 --> 0:13:55.607
<v Speaker 3>like us. Yeah, and that's really a really nice compliment.

0:13:56.367 --> 0:13:58.287
<v Speaker 3>So you're just like us, but you get good hair

0:13:58.287 --> 0:13:58.767
<v Speaker 3>and make come.

0:13:59.687 --> 0:14:01.807
<v Speaker 2>I think right that people can feel that in you,

0:14:02.007 --> 0:14:04.047
<v Speaker 2>and I think that. I mean, I wouldn't be telling

0:14:04.087 --> 0:14:06.087
<v Speaker 2>you anything you don't know, because you're a TV professional

0:14:06.087 --> 0:14:09.647
<v Speaker 2>of many years. But people can see through like I

0:14:09.647 --> 0:14:11.287
<v Speaker 2>don't know, they can see through the hair and makeup

0:14:11.287 --> 0:14:14.847
<v Speaker 2>because they like they would still be like, bitch, looks amazing.

0:14:15.087 --> 0:14:17.767
<v Speaker 1>Let me this eyelash off. No, I wouldn't do that.

0:14:17.807 --> 0:14:18.727
<v Speaker 2>I know you wouldn't do that.

0:14:18.967 --> 0:14:21.167
<v Speaker 3>But does that sound like I know, no entirely, so

0:14:21.207 --> 0:14:23.567
<v Speaker 3>it doesn't sound disingenuous to say that about myself, though,

0:14:23.647 --> 0:14:26.887
<v Speaker 3>does it because not either sure, okay, because I think

0:14:26.887 --> 0:14:29.407
<v Speaker 3>it comes through also, as I said when I was

0:14:29.407 --> 0:14:31.647
<v Speaker 3>sort of looking at your life, as much as you

0:14:31.687 --> 0:14:34.687
<v Speaker 3>can tell anything about anybody's life from what they put

0:14:34.727 --> 0:14:36.607
<v Speaker 3>in the public, that comes out.

0:14:36.647 --> 0:14:39.887
<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you, honestly, what comes out work ethic are

0:14:39.967 --> 0:14:43.967
<v Speaker 2>really strong work ethic and liking what you do. Family.

0:14:44.447 --> 0:14:46.247
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna make you talk about that, and you're probably

0:14:46.247 --> 0:14:51.607
<v Speaker 2>gonna cry. Family comes out very strongly, both your long marriage,

0:14:51.727 --> 0:14:55.847
<v Speaker 2>your beautiful boys, and your parents and like that comes through.

0:14:56.807 --> 0:14:58.967
<v Speaker 2>And also what comes through that I hope you know

0:14:59.167 --> 0:15:02.647
<v Speaker 2>is like a good dose of joy, like I want

0:15:02.767 --> 0:15:04.407
<v Speaker 2>you to do that. You know, I was joking about

0:15:04.487 --> 0:15:06.847
<v Speaker 2>tiktoks and things and whether that sometimes feels a bit like,

0:15:06.887 --> 0:15:08.927
<v Speaker 2>oh do I have to tap dads for my money?

0:15:08.927 --> 0:15:11.887
<v Speaker 2>Now I get a sense that you know, I saw

0:15:11.967 --> 0:15:15.727
<v Speaker 2>you recently doing like Chicago or something. What was that

0:15:15.727 --> 0:15:16.247
<v Speaker 2>that I saw?

0:15:16.447 --> 0:15:19.087
<v Speaker 3>I went behind the scenes of Chicago the Stage musical,

0:15:19.087 --> 0:15:20.367
<v Speaker 3>and we filmed it for the Morning show.

0:15:20.927 --> 0:15:23.567
<v Speaker 2>I love a woman who can like because you're a

0:15:23.647 --> 0:15:24.247
<v Speaker 2>very good dancer.

0:15:24.287 --> 0:15:26.407
<v Speaker 1>You're on Dance with the Stars. We all know that twice.

0:15:26.567 --> 0:15:29.087
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and very good I've never got my hands on

0:15:29.127 --> 0:15:30.927
<v Speaker 3>the mirror ball, though it must have been that good.

0:15:31.887 --> 0:15:33.727
<v Speaker 2>You know, I was travesty of justice.

0:15:34.047 --> 0:15:37.927
<v Speaker 3>One hundred marks for effort and for passion about a

0:15:37.967 --> 0:15:38.967
<v Speaker 3>solid forty.

0:15:38.727 --> 0:15:42.007
<v Speaker 1>Nine or actual skill. I always say, I don't care.

0:15:42.127 --> 0:15:43.607
<v Speaker 2>I say to my kids the effort scores are the

0:15:43.647 --> 0:15:46.687
<v Speaker 2>ones that But anyway, what came through in that too

0:15:46.807 --> 0:15:48.687
<v Speaker 2>is like a bit of joy, like you clearly like

0:15:48.847 --> 0:15:51.167
<v Speaker 2>doing that right. And one of the things I hope

0:15:51.207 --> 0:15:53.047
<v Speaker 2>I never lose as I get older and sometimes our

0:15:53.047 --> 0:15:55.527
<v Speaker 2>confidence gets a bit rocked, is like I want to

0:15:55.567 --> 0:15:58.287
<v Speaker 2>try that thing. And I wanted to ask you, like,

0:15:58.407 --> 0:16:01.047
<v Speaker 2>this amazing career you've had and you still have, does

0:16:01.087 --> 0:16:02.767
<v Speaker 2>it still like a fire in you? And do you

0:16:02.807 --> 0:16:04.807
<v Speaker 2>still have like lots of ambitions for things you want

0:16:04.847 --> 0:16:05.607
<v Speaker 2>to do well?

0:16:05.607 --> 0:16:07.367
<v Speaker 3>When we get to about this age, there's a lot

0:16:07.367 --> 0:16:10.167
<v Speaker 3>of talk in my friendship group, I guess about retirement.

0:16:10.607 --> 0:16:14.167
<v Speaker 3>Oh how's your super looking. Oh that's a really boring question,

0:16:14.207 --> 0:16:17.567
<v Speaker 3>isn't it. And I'm like, oh, I'm not there. My

0:16:17.727 --> 0:16:21.447
<v Speaker 3>head isn't even there. Yes, we should all be, as women,

0:16:21.567 --> 0:16:25.487
<v Speaker 3>very mindful of super and I am, but I'm nowhere

0:16:25.567 --> 0:16:28.487
<v Speaker 3>near that. I actually really enjoy going to work. I

0:16:28.527 --> 0:16:32.607
<v Speaker 3>really enjoy my workmates. I enjoy the camaraderie. I enjoy

0:16:32.647 --> 0:16:35.167
<v Speaker 3>seeing next Larry on the couch. We get to talk

0:16:35.207 --> 0:16:38.687
<v Speaker 3>to really interesting people. So my head isn't even there yet.

0:16:39.207 --> 0:16:43.167
<v Speaker 3>So I do genuinely love what I do. And then

0:16:43.167 --> 0:16:44.927
<v Speaker 3>when I get to do those great things like dancing

0:16:44.927 --> 0:16:48.167
<v Speaker 3>with the stars, you know, once every ten years, or

0:16:48.247 --> 0:16:51.167
<v Speaker 3>go behind the scenes of Chicago the musical, it does

0:16:51.207 --> 0:16:54.207
<v Speaker 3>bring me joy. But on that point of joy, this

0:16:54.247 --> 0:16:57.047
<v Speaker 3>is something I had to We had a mentoring program

0:16:57.207 --> 0:16:59.767
<v Speaker 3>at Channel seven and you could put your hand up

0:16:59.767 --> 0:17:01.767
<v Speaker 3>if you wanted to join, and I was asked if

0:17:01.767 --> 0:17:04.967
<v Speaker 3>I'd like to be a mentor. I'm like, oh, you mean,

0:17:05.007 --> 0:17:08.127
<v Speaker 3>not one getting you know, mentored? Would you like to

0:17:08.127 --> 0:17:11.007
<v Speaker 3>be the Is it the men the mentor? The she

0:17:11.167 --> 0:17:15.567
<v Speaker 3>is the one learning the mentor? And I'm like, oh, oh, okay.

0:17:16.087 --> 0:17:17.207
<v Speaker 1>So I won't name her.

0:17:17.207 --> 0:17:19.527
<v Speaker 3>But I was paired up with a beautiful girl at

0:17:19.527 --> 0:17:23.447
<v Speaker 3>work and she was talking to me about ambition and

0:17:23.527 --> 0:17:26.247
<v Speaker 3>what she should do next and all of this. But

0:17:26.327 --> 0:17:28.487
<v Speaker 3>I could look at her and I went, I think

0:17:28.487 --> 0:17:30.047
<v Speaker 3>you really like what you do and she said, yeah,

0:17:30.047 --> 0:17:32.847
<v Speaker 3>I love what I'm doing. And she wasn't in Sydney,

0:17:33.167 --> 0:17:36.367
<v Speaker 3>And I said, you're in a relationship. Yeah, I'm happily married,

0:17:36.767 --> 0:17:38.487
<v Speaker 3>and do you like we living? Love where I'm living?

0:17:38.767 --> 0:17:41.407
<v Speaker 3>And I said, you know what, there's nothing wrong with

0:17:41.527 --> 0:17:45.287
<v Speaker 3>being content and happy with what you're doing. You haven't

0:17:45.327 --> 0:17:47.367
<v Speaker 3>got to be the next six o'clock news reader just

0:17:47.407 --> 0:17:50.327
<v Speaker 3>because you think that's what you have to do. And

0:17:50.367 --> 0:17:53.967
<v Speaker 3>she actually stopped and she thought about it, and she went, oh,

0:17:54.127 --> 0:17:56.567
<v Speaker 3>I don't think anyone's actually ever said that to me before,

0:17:56.687 --> 0:18:00.527
<v Speaker 3>because sometimes we're all so hell bent on what should.

0:18:00.207 --> 0:18:01.247
<v Speaker 1>I be doing next?

0:18:02.087 --> 0:18:05.007
<v Speaker 3>So I just said to her, it's nice to have ambition,

0:18:05.207 --> 0:18:07.327
<v Speaker 3>and it's nice to think about the next year, but

0:18:07.407 --> 0:18:09.847
<v Speaker 3>please don't forget to enjoy what you doing now. And

0:18:09.887 --> 0:18:12.767
<v Speaker 3>I could say this to any of your listeners, like,

0:18:12.807 --> 0:18:15.607
<v Speaker 3>there is joy in what you're doing now, and don't

0:18:15.647 --> 0:18:18.967
<v Speaker 3>forget to enjoy that. And I think that has probably

0:18:19.087 --> 0:18:22.367
<v Speaker 3>had stood me in good stead, because hand on heart,

0:18:22.567 --> 0:18:25.567
<v Speaker 3>I have never asked for any job that I've ever gotten.

0:18:26.127 --> 0:18:27.967
<v Speaker 3>They've always come to me and said, Kylie, would you

0:18:28.007 --> 0:18:29.327
<v Speaker 3>like to do this? Would you like to do that?

0:18:29.767 --> 0:18:31.727
<v Speaker 3>So I've always had of course, you're aware of what's

0:18:31.727 --> 0:18:34.367
<v Speaker 3>going on around you. But for the morning show, I

0:18:34.487 --> 0:18:36.807
<v Speaker 3>was doing updates. I think I just had the boys.

0:18:36.847 --> 0:18:38.767
<v Speaker 3>They were two and four. I was filling and doing

0:18:38.807 --> 0:18:42.687
<v Speaker 3>late night updates. Again happy doing that and this came along.

0:18:42.807 --> 0:18:43.327
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what.

0:18:43.447 --> 0:18:46.447
<v Speaker 3>Lisa Wilkinson actually had the job before I did. We

0:18:46.447 --> 0:18:49.567
<v Speaker 3>were both doing weekend Sunrise together. They asked her to

0:18:49.607 --> 0:18:50.967
<v Speaker 3>be next to Larry on.

0:18:51.047 --> 0:18:51.727
<v Speaker 1>The morning show.

0:18:52.007 --> 0:18:54.727
<v Speaker 3>Now what happened was that the Today's Show on Channel

0:18:54.767 --> 0:18:56.527
<v Speaker 3>nine came along and approached her.

0:18:57.327 --> 0:18:58.207
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know that.

0:18:58.447 --> 0:18:59.927
<v Speaker 3>So that work came to me and said we want

0:18:59.927 --> 0:19:01.927
<v Speaker 3>you to try it for the morning show, and I

0:19:02.087 --> 0:19:05.367
<v Speaker 3>was flabbergast. I said, no, no, no, that's Lisa's got

0:19:05.407 --> 0:19:07.927
<v Speaker 3>that job, and they went, don't you worry about Lisa,

0:19:08.287 --> 0:19:11.047
<v Speaker 3>don't you worry about Let you come and we want

0:19:11.127 --> 0:19:13.047
<v Speaker 3>you to try out for this. So what did I do?

0:19:13.447 --> 0:19:16.807
<v Speaker 3>I went and told Lisa, said, Lisa, guess this is

0:19:16.967 --> 0:19:20.087
<v Speaker 3>a very political game place come and asked me to

0:19:20.087 --> 0:19:21.847
<v Speaker 3>try out, but this is your this is and she

0:19:21.847 --> 0:19:24.047
<v Speaker 3>looked at me, she said, Kylie, you go right ahead, you

0:19:24.127 --> 0:19:26.247
<v Speaker 3>go and try I'm want to be fine. So clearly

0:19:26.287 --> 0:19:28.727
<v Speaker 3>she wasn't telling me that channel wanted approached it.

0:19:29.287 --> 0:19:31.167
<v Speaker 1>So even for the job I'm doing now.

0:19:31.247 --> 0:19:33.087
<v Speaker 3>I tried to palm it back off to the person

0:19:33.167 --> 0:19:36.007
<v Speaker 3>who I thought had the job. So I just said,

0:19:36.007 --> 0:19:39.007
<v Speaker 3>to this young girl who works for us, don't forget

0:19:39.007 --> 0:19:40.887
<v Speaker 3>to enjoy what you're actually doing now, because I can

0:19:40.927 --> 0:19:43.407
<v Speaker 3>tell that you're enjoying it and live in the moment.

0:19:43.447 --> 0:19:45.727
<v Speaker 3>And if you're really happy in what you're doing, that

0:19:45.767 --> 0:19:48.687
<v Speaker 3>will come across and that will lead to other opportunities.

0:19:48.807 --> 0:19:50.767
<v Speaker 2>You mentored yourself out of being a mentor.

0:19:51.647 --> 0:19:53.167
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what I did.

0:19:54.527 --> 0:19:55.167
<v Speaker 2>We don't need to talk.

0:19:55.287 --> 0:19:56.727
<v Speaker 1>She's now had a baby.

0:19:57.127 --> 0:19:59.167
<v Speaker 3>I rang here only yesterday must have been on my

0:19:59.207 --> 0:20:01.007
<v Speaker 3>mind because I was talking to you and I rang

0:20:01.007 --> 0:20:02.807
<v Speaker 3>here and I said, you're back at work now you've

0:20:02.807 --> 0:20:04.167
<v Speaker 3>had a baby, and she said yes. I said that

0:20:04.207 --> 0:20:07.447
<v Speaker 3>you're happy, said, I'm over the moon, and she said

0:20:07.527 --> 0:20:09.727
<v Speaker 3>Channel seven, I have been so great in the you know,

0:20:09.927 --> 0:20:12.407
<v Speaker 3>I'm just coming back part time. And I said, wow,

0:20:12.407 --> 0:20:14.527
<v Speaker 3>it's all working out, and she said I'm so happy

0:20:15.087 --> 0:20:15.887
<v Speaker 3>that She said, thank you.

0:20:17.887 --> 0:20:19.687
<v Speaker 2>We'll be back in a minute. When I ask Kylie

0:20:19.727 --> 0:20:22.887
<v Speaker 2>how she deals with comparison and second getting herself in

0:20:22.927 --> 0:20:30.127
<v Speaker 2>a notoriously competitive industry, do you reckon it's your personality

0:20:30.327 --> 0:20:32.607
<v Speaker 2>or have you found a way to not do that

0:20:32.687 --> 0:20:35.407
<v Speaker 2>always looking over your shoulder thing, because not only in

0:20:35.487 --> 0:20:37.607
<v Speaker 2>media and lots of professions, and I think that when

0:20:37.647 --> 0:20:39.447
<v Speaker 2>you sometimes get to an age where you're like, looking

0:20:39.527 --> 0:20:41.287
<v Speaker 2>at this is what I've done, this is where I am,

0:20:41.727 --> 0:20:46.007
<v Speaker 2>it's sometimes hard not to compare, contrast, worry, pusha I

0:20:46.007 --> 0:20:47.287
<v Speaker 2>know I do it all the time. I'm like, well,

0:20:47.327 --> 0:20:48.807
<v Speaker 2>I know I'm doing this and I like it, But

0:20:49.007 --> 0:20:51.007
<v Speaker 2>should I be doing that? Do people think I should

0:20:51.047 --> 0:20:52.567
<v Speaker 2>be doing that? What am I going to do next?

0:20:52.607 --> 0:20:54.807
<v Speaker 2>Do you think that's just your personality that's allowed you

0:20:54.887 --> 0:20:59.207
<v Speaker 2>to enjoy and appreciate or is there a trick to it?

0:21:00.327 --> 0:21:03.007
<v Speaker 3>A country upbringing I think has a lot to do

0:21:03.087 --> 0:21:05.607
<v Speaker 3>with it. I remember Larry actually saying to me, it's

0:21:05.647 --> 0:21:07.447
<v Speaker 3>in the first year or two of a spend on

0:21:07.487 --> 0:21:10.607
<v Speaker 3>the show, and he said, with good happens, you don't

0:21:10.607 --> 0:21:12.847
<v Speaker 3>go off, do you? And he said, but that's some taken.

0:21:12.847 --> 0:21:16.127
<v Speaker 3>When something bad happens, you don't go down. So I

0:21:16.167 --> 0:21:19.167
<v Speaker 3>think I'm probably steady as she goes. So probably if

0:21:19.167 --> 0:21:22.367
<v Speaker 3>something amazing happens to me. Look, I'm happier if something

0:21:22.407 --> 0:21:25.367
<v Speaker 3>amazing happens to my family or to my boys. If

0:21:25.367 --> 0:21:28.087
<v Speaker 3>something amazing happens to them, I would much rather that

0:21:28.247 --> 0:21:31.327
<v Speaker 3>than something amazing happens to me. So maybe it's a

0:21:31.367 --> 0:21:35.687
<v Speaker 3>personality thing. Maybe you do get wiser as you get older, too,

0:21:35.767 --> 0:21:38.207
<v Speaker 3>because everything you know it can be taken away from

0:21:38.207 --> 0:21:40.567
<v Speaker 3>you in an instant. So if you're always looking for

0:21:40.687 --> 0:21:43.447
<v Speaker 3>something else and it gets taken away from you, you've

0:21:43.447 --> 0:21:45.167
<v Speaker 3>missed out on all those years of enjoying what you

0:21:45.207 --> 0:21:47.167
<v Speaker 3>could have had, and that goes. It doesn't matter whether

0:21:47.407 --> 0:21:50.767
<v Speaker 3>I think it's TV or whether it be anything anything,

0:21:51.047 --> 0:21:51.807
<v Speaker 3>you know, so you.

0:21:51.807 --> 0:21:54.327
<v Speaker 2>Don't feel that sort of you know, I'm sure there

0:21:54.367 --> 0:21:56.367
<v Speaker 2>are people around who will be like, are you worried

0:21:56.367 --> 0:21:58.767
<v Speaker 2>about what's next? You're like, no, I'm enjoying what I'm doing.

0:21:58.767 --> 0:22:00.927
<v Speaker 2>We'll see what happens next. Yeah, but I'm not ready

0:22:00.967 --> 0:22:02.087
<v Speaker 2>to wind down.

0:22:02.687 --> 0:22:04.847
<v Speaker 3>But it's probably also the reason why I'm not running

0:22:04.847 --> 0:22:10.567
<v Speaker 3>some sort of multimillion dollar company or haven't written five books,

0:22:10.727 --> 0:22:14.887
<v Speaker 3>or I haven't got a podcast or another reason, like,

0:22:15.207 --> 0:22:17.327
<v Speaker 3>you know, I think that's probably you know, maybe I

0:22:17.487 --> 0:22:19.287
<v Speaker 3>could be a little bit more proactivey things like that

0:22:19.327 --> 0:22:19.647
<v Speaker 3>as well.

0:22:19.647 --> 0:22:21.567
<v Speaker 1>But I'm like, do I want to do a.

0:22:21.527 --> 0:22:24.887
<v Speaker 3>Podcast, like, probably not, because I'm talking to people two

0:22:24.887 --> 0:22:26.927
<v Speaker 3>and a half hours every day anyway, So I think

0:22:26.967 --> 0:22:29.167
<v Speaker 3>you have you know, but yes, maybe I should be

0:22:29.247 --> 0:22:32.167
<v Speaker 3>off my ass wholly and do a little bit more

0:22:32.327 --> 0:22:35.047
<v Speaker 3>and you know, have a successful clothing line.

0:22:35.247 --> 0:22:37.567
<v Speaker 2>I don't reckon. I think. I look at your life.

0:22:37.567 --> 0:22:39.847
<v Speaker 2>It looks plenty busy enough to me, my goodness, like

0:22:40.047 --> 0:22:42.247
<v Speaker 2>a bit of behind the scenes on a show like yours.

0:22:42.327 --> 0:22:44.527
<v Speaker 2>I mean, obviously I've only been lucky enough to come

0:22:44.567 --> 0:22:46.127
<v Speaker 2>to the Morning Show I think a couple of times.

0:22:46.407 --> 0:22:49.167
<v Speaker 2>But the thing that's awesome about going on a show

0:22:49.287 --> 0:22:51.207
<v Speaker 2>like yours is that you sit in the green room

0:22:51.247 --> 0:22:53.487
<v Speaker 2>as a guest, and there could be like a dog

0:22:53.847 --> 0:22:57.207
<v Speaker 2>and a fireman and a nana and fourteen children from

0:22:57.247 --> 0:23:00.367
<v Speaker 2>a choir or a really famous singer. It's like every

0:23:00.447 --> 0:23:02.607
<v Speaker 2>day is different, right in terms of what you do

0:23:02.687 --> 0:23:04.927
<v Speaker 2>every day. So you know, you've been on the morning

0:23:04.967 --> 0:23:07.607
<v Speaker 2>show for seventeen years, you say, which is amazing, But

0:23:07.767 --> 0:23:10.647
<v Speaker 2>every day you never know what's going to walk in

0:23:10.687 --> 0:23:11.607
<v Speaker 2>and sit down next to you.

0:23:12.287 --> 0:23:15.327
<v Speaker 3>Today, I think we had how the spotted chet, then

0:23:15.367 --> 0:23:19.167
<v Speaker 3>we morphed into tonail fungus and how mixed vapor Rob

0:23:19.367 --> 0:23:21.127
<v Speaker 3>Hello vix vapor, Rob, you can use that on.

0:23:21.047 --> 0:23:23.007
<v Speaker 1>Your toenails if you've got fungus. Did you know that?

0:23:23.327 --> 0:23:24.527
<v Speaker 1>And then we had a little bit.

0:23:24.447 --> 0:23:27.967
<v Speaker 3>Of American politics, you know, so yeah, you have to

0:23:28.007 --> 0:23:29.367
<v Speaker 3>be a jill of all trade.

0:23:29.367 --> 0:23:30.767
<v Speaker 1>And then we interviewed.

0:23:30.487 --> 0:23:33.887
<v Speaker 3>Doctor Maksteamy Eric Dane, who's in a new movie. Ye

0:23:34.367 --> 0:23:37.687
<v Speaker 3>like it's a lottery. We had a psychologist who was

0:23:37.727 --> 0:23:39.807
<v Speaker 3>on our show and he was sitting on the lounge

0:23:39.887 --> 0:23:42.727
<v Speaker 3>much like you did in the green room, and he's like,

0:23:42.967 --> 0:23:44.287
<v Speaker 3>he did actually say that very thing.

0:23:44.287 --> 0:23:46.927
<v Speaker 1>He said, do you have to shift keys very quickly?

0:23:47.007 --> 0:23:47.327
<v Speaker 2>Don't you?

0:23:47.527 --> 0:23:50.367
<v Speaker 3>I went and I didn't even clock it. I went, yeah,

0:23:50.367 --> 0:23:52.407
<v Speaker 3>now that you mentioned that, yeah, we probably do.

0:23:52.567 --> 0:23:54.767
<v Speaker 2>And also it's you know, I mean, people know this,

0:23:54.847 --> 0:23:56.047
<v Speaker 2>but it's live right.

0:23:56.087 --> 0:23:58.367
<v Speaker 3>Well, my husband will tell you, Holly that I am

0:23:58.407 --> 0:24:02.607
<v Speaker 3>able to shift keys very fair, very quickly. I can

0:24:02.807 --> 0:24:06.487
<v Speaker 3>spin on a dime from happy to oh my god,

0:24:06.607 --> 0:24:08.887
<v Speaker 3>you've left that wet towel on the floor again.

0:24:09.687 --> 0:24:11.527
<v Speaker 1>Yes, he can tell you I can spin on a dime.

0:24:11.607 --> 0:24:15.047
<v Speaker 2>I can imagine talking of your husband and your beautiful boys.

0:24:15.847 --> 0:24:17.687
<v Speaker 2>So all the time that you've been doing this job,

0:24:17.887 --> 0:24:21.287
<v Speaker 2>you've been raising your boys who are now. I believe

0:24:21.367 --> 0:24:24.847
<v Speaker 2>one of them is living overseas.

0:24:25.207 --> 0:24:27.207
<v Speaker 3>He's about to turn twenty two. He's twenty one at

0:24:27.247 --> 0:24:29.527
<v Speaker 3>the moment. He's been living in Europe now for nearly

0:24:29.527 --> 0:24:31.047
<v Speaker 3>a year and a half. He's due to come home

0:24:31.247 --> 0:24:35.287
<v Speaker 3>because his visa expires. He's been doing internships. And Archie's

0:24:35.367 --> 0:24:36.487
<v Speaker 3>nineteen and he's at Uni.

0:24:36.687 --> 0:24:37.807
<v Speaker 2>Is he still at home with you?

0:24:38.047 --> 0:24:39.687
<v Speaker 1>Yes? Yes, And Gus.

0:24:39.527 --> 0:24:43.047
<v Speaker 3>Will be returning home from Europe because he has not

0:24:43.047 --> 0:24:45.527
<v Speaker 3>only does he have no money, he's like in the minus,

0:24:45.887 --> 0:24:46.887
<v Speaker 3>he's in the negative.

0:24:47.247 --> 0:24:50.367
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so yes, or he'll be coming home to his bedroom.

0:24:50.407 --> 0:24:53.327
<v Speaker 2>And I bet that you're probably relatively happy about that.

0:24:53.527 --> 0:24:55.927
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, look, it'll be an adjustment. I want to

0:24:55.967 --> 0:24:57.527
<v Speaker 1>ask you about that.

0:24:57.687 --> 0:25:00.087
<v Speaker 2>A lot of our listeners obviously are in the phase

0:25:00.127 --> 0:25:02.007
<v Speaker 2>we well. Actually, one of the things that's interesting I

0:25:02.047 --> 0:25:04.527
<v Speaker 2>think about women of our generation, we're in all kinds

0:25:04.527 --> 0:25:06.847
<v Speaker 2>of different situations. Some of us have still got primary

0:25:06.847 --> 0:25:08.967
<v Speaker 2>school kids, and some of us have got adult kids

0:25:09.007 --> 0:25:10.727
<v Speaker 2>and stuf of us at grandma's and some of us

0:25:10.967 --> 0:25:12.487
<v Speaker 2>obviously don't have kids at all.

0:25:12.687 --> 0:25:15.607
<v Speaker 1>I was thirty six when I had guessed yeah.

0:25:15.607 --> 0:25:18.527
<v Speaker 2>So and so like me, I actually had my kids

0:25:18.607 --> 0:25:21.687
<v Speaker 2>quite late late in inverted commas like it's such a

0:25:21.727 --> 0:25:22.647
<v Speaker 2>nonsense word.

0:25:22.407 --> 0:25:26.527
<v Speaker 3>But yes, so when the medical term is jury, actually igne,

0:25:26.967 --> 0:25:28.927
<v Speaker 3>well yeah that's the horrible term.

0:25:28.927 --> 0:25:29.287
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I.

0:25:29.327 --> 0:25:33.047
<v Speaker 2>Was forty when I had my second child, and I

0:25:33.087 --> 0:25:35.847
<v Speaker 2>always remember the midwife who as much she called me

0:25:35.847 --> 0:25:37.927
<v Speaker 2>because I was over you, and she goes, I've just

0:25:37.967 --> 0:25:40.767
<v Speaker 2>realized you're forty, And I was like, you've just realized,

0:25:40.847 --> 0:25:43.367
<v Speaker 2>like we've been sitting there for nine months. We're not

0:25:43.407 --> 0:25:46.647
<v Speaker 2>allowed to let geriatric women go over the dune day.

0:25:46.847 --> 0:25:48.367
<v Speaker 2>Can you come into me? And I was like, oh

0:25:48.407 --> 0:25:51.807
<v Speaker 2>my gosh, I felt one hundred years old. Yeah. Anyway,

0:25:51.847 --> 0:25:53.887
<v Speaker 2>I digress not about me. I want to talk to

0:25:53.927 --> 0:25:56.327
<v Speaker 2>you a bit about your identity as your family grow, right,

0:25:56.367 --> 0:25:58.207
<v Speaker 2>because you would have had a lot of these seventeen years,

0:25:58.207 --> 0:26:00.607
<v Speaker 2>that crazy time when the kids are little and the

0:26:00.687 --> 0:26:04.207
<v Speaker 2>juggle is intense, and how that shifts as they get older.

0:26:04.847 --> 0:26:06.967
<v Speaker 2>Do you look back on that time and wonder how

0:26:06.967 --> 0:26:09.127
<v Speaker 2>the hell you even did that? Because your husband, Tony

0:26:09.247 --> 0:26:11.887
<v Speaker 2>also has had a quite a big job of big career, Yes,

0:26:12.047 --> 0:26:13.727
<v Speaker 2>do you wonder how the hell you did it? And

0:26:13.767 --> 0:26:15.127
<v Speaker 2>do you ever miss that time?

0:26:15.327 --> 0:26:17.367
<v Speaker 1>Okay, do I miss it? Absolutely.

0:26:17.447 --> 0:26:19.527
<v Speaker 3>I miss being on the side of the footy ground.

0:26:19.847 --> 0:26:23.007
<v Speaker 3>I miss the you're involved in the manutia of their life.

0:26:23.287 --> 0:26:25.447
<v Speaker 3>That's the great thing, but also the bad thing is

0:26:25.567 --> 0:26:28.207
<v Speaker 3>the minutia of their life. So I used to have

0:26:28.247 --> 0:26:30.087
<v Speaker 3>because Tony would go to work very early, I would

0:26:30.087 --> 0:26:31.887
<v Speaker 3>have to be early for the morning show would you have.

0:26:31.927 --> 0:26:33.727
<v Speaker 3>We were lucky enough to be able to have a

0:26:33.807 --> 0:26:36.127
<v Speaker 3>nanny that would come in until I got home, So

0:26:36.167 --> 0:26:37.847
<v Speaker 3>it was like from seven am.

0:26:37.647 --> 0:26:40.447
<v Speaker 1>Probably till midday. Very lucky.

0:26:40.567 --> 0:26:44.847
<v Speaker 3>Didn't have to do that rushing to the childcare, but

0:26:44.927 --> 0:26:48.047
<v Speaker 3>I would rush home to relieve the nanny by mid day.

0:26:48.927 --> 0:26:50.727
<v Speaker 3>Do you know what, Holly, I found a book. We

0:26:50.807 --> 0:26:53.087
<v Speaker 3>had a book that would see on the kitchen bench

0:26:53.407 --> 0:26:56.007
<v Speaker 3>and I would write in all the details to tell

0:26:56.007 --> 0:26:56.407
<v Speaker 3>the nanny.

0:26:56.407 --> 0:26:58.767
<v Speaker 1>We were beautiful. We had a local family.

0:26:58.927 --> 0:27:00.767
<v Speaker 3>They were twin boys who were at UNI and their

0:27:00.807 --> 0:27:04.287
<v Speaker 3>sister they were our nanni's so between the three of them,

0:27:04.367 --> 0:27:06.607
<v Speaker 3>they still like their parents still live down the road

0:27:06.607 --> 0:27:06.967
<v Speaker 3>from us.

0:27:07.247 --> 0:27:09.007
<v Speaker 1>We were so lucky, so.

0:27:09.767 --> 0:27:12.887
<v Speaker 3>I would write all the details of the day into

0:27:12.887 --> 0:27:13.367
<v Speaker 3>this book.

0:27:13.447 --> 0:27:15.327
<v Speaker 1>Now. I found that book just last week.

0:27:15.407 --> 0:27:18.727
<v Speaker 3>It made me cry because it was stuff like Gus

0:27:18.727 --> 0:27:21.167
<v Speaker 3>has the sport carnival today. The green T shirt I

0:27:21.287 --> 0:27:23.407
<v Speaker 3>washed last night, it's hanging up in the laundry. He

0:27:23.487 --> 0:27:25.967
<v Speaker 3>will need cut up oranges. We're on orange, Judy. You'll

0:27:25.967 --> 0:27:28.207
<v Speaker 3>find the oranges in the bottom of the crisper. Please

0:27:28.247 --> 0:27:30.487
<v Speaker 3>cut the oranges into eight and make sure you use

0:27:30.527 --> 0:27:31.247
<v Speaker 3>that type of word.

0:27:31.047 --> 0:27:31.727
<v Speaker 1>But make sure the top.

0:27:32.247 --> 0:27:35.527
<v Speaker 3>I like, who was I? That was like crazy woman?

0:27:36.367 --> 0:27:40.207
<v Speaker 3>It was, and every single day was like that. How

0:27:40.327 --> 0:27:42.887
<v Speaker 3>lucky it was I that I had someone to do that,

0:27:43.767 --> 0:27:48.207
<v Speaker 3>But I was hanging on so tightly. I could feel

0:27:48.647 --> 0:27:52.447
<v Speaker 3>the tension in the pages. I have to ring up

0:27:52.447 --> 0:27:54.887
<v Speaker 3>the nannies now and apologize for what a crazy woman

0:27:54.927 --> 0:27:55.567
<v Speaker 3>I must have been.

0:27:56.047 --> 0:27:57.407
<v Speaker 1>But all that stuff is important.

0:27:57.527 --> 0:27:59.207
<v Speaker 3>If he didn't have his green shirt because it was

0:27:59.247 --> 0:28:01.447
<v Speaker 3>house color day, that would have been a really big

0:28:01.487 --> 0:28:03.727
<v Speaker 3>thing for the ten year old not.

0:28:03.687 --> 0:28:05.207
<v Speaker 1>To have his house color T shirt.

0:28:05.407 --> 0:28:09.567
<v Speaker 2>You've got like a physical representation of the very relatetionable

0:28:09.607 --> 0:28:11.847
<v Speaker 2>mental load that all women are carrying.

0:28:12.247 --> 0:28:13.047
<v Speaker 1>One hundred percent.

0:28:13.127 --> 0:28:16.887
<v Speaker 3>It was my mind on the page, and it made

0:28:16.967 --> 0:28:21.047
<v Speaker 3>me want to cry, and it made me want to

0:28:21.087 --> 0:28:23.527
<v Speaker 3>go and hug every single woman in the office who

0:28:23.607 --> 0:28:26.847
<v Speaker 3>have kids of that age, because I'm like, oh, man,

0:28:27.207 --> 0:28:30.167
<v Speaker 3>I'm seeing you all over again, and.

0:28:30.127 --> 0:28:30.967
<v Speaker 1>So I was taken back.

0:28:31.007 --> 0:28:33.647
<v Speaker 3>So gradually, gradually, gradually, as they go to high school,

0:28:33.687 --> 0:28:35.687
<v Speaker 3>you don't have to worry about the green T shirt anymore,

0:28:36.007 --> 0:28:39.167
<v Speaker 3>although I probably did, but they kind of start to

0:28:39.167 --> 0:28:42.367
<v Speaker 3>look after that themselves, so you gradually get weaned off it,

0:28:42.607 --> 0:28:45.127
<v Speaker 3>until one day you wake up and you go, oh,

0:28:45.287 --> 0:28:46.887
<v Speaker 3>they don't need any of that anymore.

0:28:46.927 --> 0:28:49.007
<v Speaker 1>They don't need me to write in a book. They

0:28:49.047 --> 0:28:52.247
<v Speaker 1>don't want me to come to the sports carnival, you know.

0:28:52.967 --> 0:28:56.487
<v Speaker 2>And when that happened that moment, because I'm most still

0:28:56.487 --> 0:28:59.567
<v Speaker 2>a little way off that yet my daughter's fourteen, but

0:28:59.647 --> 0:29:02.927
<v Speaker 2>it's definitely shifted already for me, Like it's a weaned

0:29:03.167 --> 0:29:06.087
<v Speaker 2>yeah process, and it's a slow like the doors closed now,

0:29:06.127 --> 0:29:09.047
<v Speaker 2>the bedroom door instead of always being open, and all

0:29:09.087 --> 0:29:13.887
<v Speaker 2>those things. Did you have a mouthed out? Did you

0:29:14.327 --> 0:29:17.567
<v Speaker 2>handle it in a very emotionally mature fashion?

0:29:17.687 --> 0:29:18.207
<v Speaker 1>Do you know why?

0:29:18.207 --> 0:29:20.207
<v Speaker 3>I found that if you speak to your girlfriends, so

0:29:20.247 --> 0:29:22.847
<v Speaker 3>you are the school mum friends, I guess, and you

0:29:23.007 --> 0:29:26.327
<v Speaker 3>all go through it, and I leant on them a

0:29:26.367 --> 0:29:28.767
<v Speaker 3>lot and continue to do so. I'll never forget the

0:29:28.767 --> 0:29:30.767
<v Speaker 3>boys were older, they'd all gone away for a couple

0:29:30.727 --> 0:29:33.327
<v Speaker 3>of days. I think they would have been old enough

0:29:33.327 --> 0:29:35.967
<v Speaker 3>to drive, so they drove themselves. Maybe they were year twelve.

0:29:36.247 --> 0:29:37.927
<v Speaker 3>And do you know what, those buggers they'd been away

0:29:37.927 --> 0:29:40.727
<v Speaker 3>for three days altogether. They came home, dump their stuff.

0:29:40.927 --> 0:29:42.607
<v Speaker 3>I'd prepared a beautiful dinner.

0:29:42.527 --> 0:29:46.087
<v Speaker 1>Welcome home, Gus. You must be starving.

0:29:46.127 --> 0:29:49.327
<v Speaker 3>You've been away for three days, and I've cooked lamb roast,

0:29:49.367 --> 0:29:49.727
<v Speaker 3>your favorite.

0:29:49.767 --> 0:29:51.527
<v Speaker 1>It's like, oh no, we're going out.

0:29:53.127 --> 0:29:54.847
<v Speaker 3>Literally he was home for I think twenty four and

0:29:54.847 --> 0:29:56.927
<v Speaker 3>not long enough to have a shower, dump his stuff.

0:29:56.687 --> 0:29:58.927
<v Speaker 1>And go again. They were all going out to somewhere else.

0:29:59.207 --> 0:30:02.447
<v Speaker 3>Ah, And I like it, like really upset me, and

0:30:02.487 --> 0:30:04.007
<v Speaker 3>I'm went to my husband tiny.

0:30:04.127 --> 0:30:06.527
<v Speaker 1>He didn't even He's like, okay, see yeah, see ya.

0:30:07.127 --> 0:30:09.847
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, but why wouldn't he want to spend

0:30:09.887 --> 0:30:12.607
<v Speaker 1>that dinner with us? He hasn't seen us for three days.

0:30:13.767 --> 0:30:16.527
<v Speaker 3>I will never forget that moment. And I like, I

0:30:16.567 --> 0:30:19.327
<v Speaker 3>got the shits. I thought, you feel like you're going insane,

0:30:19.367 --> 0:30:21.447
<v Speaker 3>and you feel clinging and you feel needy. And of

0:30:21.447 --> 0:30:25.287
<v Speaker 3>course he went and I went, Okay, then whatever, which

0:30:25.327 --> 0:30:26.127
<v Speaker 3>is really yeasure.

0:30:26.767 --> 0:30:27.127
<v Speaker 1>Whatever.

0:30:27.967 --> 0:30:30.087
<v Speaker 3>Then it was only a couple days later I speaking

0:30:30.127 --> 0:30:31.887
<v Speaker 3>to one of the other mums and the same thing,

0:30:31.887 --> 0:30:33.607
<v Speaker 3>of course happened to her because they're all meeting up.

0:30:34.007 --> 0:30:36.287
<v Speaker 3>And she said, I did exactly the same thing, kindly,

0:30:36.647 --> 0:30:39.447
<v Speaker 3>and you're what my husband said, yeah, seeya, okay, glad

0:30:39.447 --> 0:30:42.407
<v Speaker 3>you had a good time. And she said, you know,

0:30:42.487 --> 0:30:44.287
<v Speaker 3>to her husband, but why don't they want to And he.

0:30:44.287 --> 0:30:46.927
<v Speaker 1>Said, they're boys. Let them go now.

0:30:46.967 --> 0:30:48.727
<v Speaker 3>If I had my time over again, I would go,

0:30:48.767 --> 0:30:49.607
<v Speaker 3>did you have a good time?

0:30:49.727 --> 0:30:50.967
<v Speaker 1>Terrific? See you later.

0:30:51.847 --> 0:30:54.447
<v Speaker 3>So there are times like that which I have learnt

0:30:54.447 --> 0:30:58.447
<v Speaker 3>now for my second that sometimes you have to just

0:30:58.567 --> 0:31:00.007
<v Speaker 3>let them do that, and.

0:31:00.007 --> 0:31:04.327
<v Speaker 2>Do you find another way to? And I don't necessarily

0:31:04.367 --> 0:31:06.287
<v Speaker 2>buy into the idea it's different with boys and girls.

0:31:06.287 --> 0:31:07.887
<v Speaker 2>But maybe it is because I know you're one of

0:31:07.927 --> 0:31:11.367
<v Speaker 2>two girls, right, you've got two boys, yes, and I've

0:31:11.407 --> 0:31:13.647
<v Speaker 2>got one of each. Actually, But friends of mine who

0:31:13.687 --> 0:31:16.807
<v Speaker 2>have boys say it's like a breakup. It's like a

0:31:16.807 --> 0:31:19.967
<v Speaker 2>slow breakup almost, But you obviously have to find, well,

0:31:19.967 --> 0:31:23.367
<v Speaker 2>what's my new identity now now that I'm not yellow

0:31:23.407 --> 0:31:27.047
<v Speaker 2>T shirt? Your favorite roast dinner, cutting up the oranges,

0:31:27.807 --> 0:31:29.447
<v Speaker 2>and I know you'd rather be with your mates, which

0:31:29.487 --> 0:31:32.487
<v Speaker 2>is very normal and you know now it's to you

0:31:32.887 --> 0:31:34.607
<v Speaker 2>and have you figured that out?

0:31:35.047 --> 0:31:37.887
<v Speaker 3>I'm slowly figuring it out. And yes, it's an adjustment.

0:31:38.207 --> 0:31:39.447
<v Speaker 3>And is there a morning period?

0:31:39.487 --> 0:31:42.567
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely? And who wrote beautifully about this was mea Friedman.

0:31:43.047 --> 0:31:45.287
<v Speaker 3>She wrote beautifully about the looks of like the longest

0:31:45.287 --> 0:31:48.647
<v Speaker 3>breakup you'll ever have and the last. Actually I remember

0:31:48.967 --> 0:31:52.007
<v Speaker 3>quoting me as Page once about you never know it's

0:31:52.007 --> 0:31:53.527
<v Speaker 3>the last time you hold their hand as they walk

0:31:53.567 --> 0:31:55.567
<v Speaker 3>across the road, or the last time you cut up

0:31:55.607 --> 0:31:58.447
<v Speaker 3>the oranges, all the last time I would photograph the

0:31:58.447 --> 0:32:01.887
<v Speaker 3>boys AFL games, and you never know they're the last

0:32:01.967 --> 0:32:02.887
<v Speaker 3>until they're the last, and.

0:32:02.807 --> 0:32:06.167
<v Speaker 1>Then you look back. Yeah, I'm slightly figuring it out.

0:32:06.847 --> 0:32:08.887
<v Speaker 3>And because I have Tiny by my side as well,

0:32:09.367 --> 0:32:10.887
<v Speaker 3>sort of turned to each other and do we still

0:32:10.927 --> 0:32:12.847
<v Speaker 3>like each other? Yes we do, And so that's a

0:32:12.927 --> 0:32:16.367
<v Speaker 3>really lovely thing to have. I think if I didn't

0:32:16.407 --> 0:32:18.127
<v Speaker 3>have that it would maybe be a little bit hard,

0:32:18.407 --> 0:32:20.647
<v Speaker 3>but maybe not. I think you lean on your friends,

0:32:20.847 --> 0:32:23.647
<v Speaker 3>and that's where connection is so important, and that's where

0:32:23.647 --> 0:32:26.647
<v Speaker 3>psychologists talk about that that having other people in your

0:32:26.647 --> 0:32:29.807
<v Speaker 3>life that you are connected to, whether it be friends,

0:32:29.807 --> 0:32:31.287
<v Speaker 3>whether it be the lady down the road, whether it

0:32:31.327 --> 0:32:34.327
<v Speaker 3>be your neighbor. So I am lucky enough to have

0:32:34.647 --> 0:32:37.647
<v Speaker 3>We are lucky enough to have a strong support network

0:32:37.687 --> 0:32:40.887
<v Speaker 3>of people who are going through the same thing. And

0:32:40.927 --> 0:32:43.527
<v Speaker 3>we have now once a month Friday night catch ups

0:32:43.767 --> 0:32:46.647
<v Speaker 3>with one group and then there's another group who are

0:32:46.647 --> 0:32:48.967
<v Speaker 3>going out with next. I'd just back from a little

0:32:48.967 --> 0:32:51.607
<v Speaker 3>mini break with another set of friends, friends who we've known,

0:32:51.647 --> 0:32:54.727
<v Speaker 3>by the way for thirty five years, as long as

0:32:54.727 --> 0:32:55.447
<v Speaker 3>we've been married.

0:32:56.207 --> 0:32:59.727
<v Speaker 1>So you have to have that support network.

0:33:00.167 --> 0:33:03.327
<v Speaker 2>And I think life's right, which you have obviously with

0:33:03.447 --> 0:33:06.207
<v Speaker 2>work and all the things that you do. There's still

0:33:06.207 --> 0:33:09.607
<v Speaker 2>a gap, but presumably it's not as you're as it

0:33:09.647 --> 0:33:10.007
<v Speaker 2>could be.

0:33:10.327 --> 0:33:12.247
<v Speaker 3>And it's not about money Either's sure, going on on

0:33:12.287 --> 0:33:14.807
<v Speaker 3>mini break that's about whether you've got money to do that,

0:33:14.887 --> 0:33:16.727
<v Speaker 3>and I get that. But the sort of things I

0:33:16.847 --> 0:33:20.567
<v Speaker 3>do as well, nothing about that. I have enaghbor two

0:33:20.607 --> 0:33:22.247
<v Speaker 3>doors down, her kids, a little bit older than me.

0:33:22.407 --> 0:33:25.407
<v Speaker 3>We will go walking maybe twice a week. Will text

0:33:25.447 --> 0:33:27.647
<v Speaker 3>you around yep, let's go for a walk, and we'll

0:33:27.647 --> 0:33:30.047
<v Speaker 3>go for a walk. Oh, I should talk about our

0:33:30.087 --> 0:33:33.287
<v Speaker 3>walking club with another group of friends in our suburb.

0:33:33.367 --> 0:33:37.767
<v Speaker 3>We've got this walking challenge for the year we have

0:33:37.887 --> 0:33:40.087
<v Speaker 3>to do I think four million steps.

0:33:40.127 --> 0:33:40.567
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow.

0:33:40.687 --> 0:33:43.807
<v Speaker 3>So once we clock our steps, you know, you've got

0:33:44.087 --> 0:33:46.487
<v Speaker 3>that app on your phone once a month. My husband

0:33:46.487 --> 0:33:50.007
<v Speaker 3>collates and we're competing as individuals and as couples. There's

0:33:50.047 --> 0:33:54.087
<v Speaker 3>five couples, and it's about being active. It's not about

0:33:54.127 --> 0:33:56.607
<v Speaker 3>who can walk the most. It's the person who walks

0:33:56.647 --> 0:34:00.087
<v Speaker 3>the least has to walk to lunch and perhaps shout

0:34:00.087 --> 0:34:02.847
<v Speaker 3>the group masch fantastic. So I've been doing that since

0:34:02.887 --> 0:34:05.647
<v Speaker 3>the first of January we started. It's still going. The

0:34:05.727 --> 0:34:08.047
<v Speaker 3>winter months, I've got to say those steps have dropped off.

0:34:08.327 --> 0:34:11.087
<v Speaker 2>But the five couple there's also something wonderful about walking

0:34:11.087 --> 0:34:13.687
<v Speaker 2>with friends, Like it's a way of catching up that

0:34:13.767 --> 0:34:16.807
<v Speaker 2>isn't as intense as sitting across a table, like having

0:34:17.087 --> 0:34:19.367
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I really you often share really interesting

0:34:19.407 --> 0:34:20.287
<v Speaker 2>things when you all.

0:34:20.207 --> 0:34:22.607
<v Speaker 3>So we would you always like meet friends for coffee.

0:34:22.687 --> 0:34:24.647
<v Speaker 3>Now it tends to be how are you around for

0:34:24.647 --> 0:34:26.767
<v Speaker 3>a walk? So that's good for people our wage. It

0:34:26.807 --> 0:34:29.607
<v Speaker 3>gets you outside. It doesn't cost a sin. So going

0:34:29.647 --> 0:34:32.327
<v Speaker 3>to coffee will cost you fifteen bucks these days, yes, yeah,

0:34:32.327 --> 0:34:33.847
<v Speaker 3>walking around the block love and costing.

0:34:33.967 --> 0:34:38.087
<v Speaker 2>I think after this short break we talk about Kylie's

0:34:38.127 --> 0:34:40.847
<v Speaker 2>grown up sons and what she's learned about letting go,

0:34:41.207 --> 0:34:47.087
<v Speaker 2>if anything, your relationship with the boys now that they

0:34:47.127 --> 0:34:51.407
<v Speaker 2>are so independent. I read a beautiful profile of you

0:34:51.447 --> 0:34:53.247
<v Speaker 2>in the Australian Woman's Weekly with your boy got the

0:34:53.367 --> 0:34:56.527
<v Speaker 2>handsome boys if I take after their father and all

0:34:57.647 --> 0:35:02.207
<v Speaker 2>poor Tony, and in it you quote this beautiful quote

0:35:02.327 --> 0:35:05.647
<v Speaker 2>from I think Mother Teresa about understanding. And I have

0:35:05.727 --> 0:35:08.967
<v Speaker 2>struggled with this, so I want advice about understanding that

0:35:09.007 --> 0:35:11.287
<v Speaker 2>You're kids are basically not you. And the quote you

0:35:11.367 --> 0:35:13.527
<v Speaker 2>used was you'll teach them to fly, but they will

0:35:13.527 --> 0:35:15.767
<v Speaker 2>not fly your flight. You'll teach them to dream, but

0:35:15.847 --> 0:35:18.807
<v Speaker 2>they will not dream your dream. And I find that

0:35:18.927 --> 0:35:20.487
<v Speaker 2>very hard. And I want you to tell me how

0:35:20.567 --> 0:35:23.127
<v Speaker 2>to shut up and just let them live rather than

0:35:23.167 --> 0:35:25.487
<v Speaker 2>always be going well, I think you should and don't

0:35:25.527 --> 0:35:27.567
<v Speaker 2>you want to? And I bet you'd be better like

0:35:27.647 --> 0:35:29.087
<v Speaker 2>don't you know? Don't you want to get into this?

0:35:29.287 --> 0:35:29.727
<v Speaker 2>Or do that?

0:35:29.927 --> 0:35:30.767
<v Speaker 1>Or all those things?

0:35:30.967 --> 0:35:34.367
<v Speaker 3>Oh Holly, And it's so hard not to. And I

0:35:34.367 --> 0:35:40.887
<v Speaker 3>stumbled across that quote too late. If only I had

0:35:40.887 --> 0:35:42.767
<v Speaker 3>that in year seven when I I said to Gus,

0:35:42.847 --> 0:35:45.687
<v Speaker 3>why don't you join the improv, theater group, and why

0:35:45.687 --> 0:35:48.167
<v Speaker 3>don't you join the debating team? All the things that

0:35:48.207 --> 0:35:50.887
<v Speaker 3>I did. He did the improv he lasted a couple

0:35:50.927 --> 0:35:53.007
<v Speaker 3>of weeks and he was really good at it, but

0:35:53.047 --> 0:35:54.687
<v Speaker 3>then he didn't last at it and they went the

0:35:54.687 --> 0:35:58.127
<v Speaker 3>more sporty route again. I wish I had that wisdom

0:35:58.127 --> 0:36:02.767
<v Speaker 3>and hindsight. I think I'm really better at it now.

0:36:03.047 --> 0:36:06.327
<v Speaker 3>I'm better at it with Archie, our second born, than

0:36:06.327 --> 0:36:09.167
<v Speaker 3>I am with Gus. Gus first, I don't know, you

0:36:09.407 --> 0:36:14.167
<v Speaker 3>have all this expectation. Leaving and doing his own path

0:36:14.247 --> 0:36:16.767
<v Speaker 3>in Europe has been the best thing for him and

0:36:16.807 --> 0:36:18.727
<v Speaker 3>for us, because I do think I hold on too tight?

0:36:19.007 --> 0:36:21.207
<v Speaker 3>Are you the mum who's always texting like hey, and

0:36:21.247 --> 0:36:25.327
<v Speaker 3>he's like, well we're on what's the app again? He's

0:36:25.367 --> 0:36:28.327
<v Speaker 3>got so much better at that since he's been away. Look,

0:36:28.367 --> 0:36:30.927
<v Speaker 3>hand on heart, I've been really proud of what I've

0:36:30.927 --> 0:36:33.487
<v Speaker 3>been able to do while he's in Europe and pull back.

0:36:34.447 --> 0:36:38.287
<v Speaker 3>I've really pulled back and that's allowed him to thrive

0:36:38.327 --> 0:36:40.647
<v Speaker 3>and find his own path. And people say, what's he

0:36:40.647 --> 0:36:41.767
<v Speaker 3>going to do when he gets back, and I'm like,

0:36:42.047 --> 0:36:44.607
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, It's up to him. He's had a

0:36:44.607 --> 0:36:46.687
<v Speaker 3>taste of what he'd like to do, and that's on

0:36:47.127 --> 0:36:50.807
<v Speaker 3>him now, Archie. He sort of forges his own path anyway.

0:36:50.967 --> 0:36:54.607
<v Speaker 3>So it's hard. The sooner you can wrap your head

0:36:54.607 --> 0:36:59.767
<v Speaker 3>around it, the better. I don't know how to explain it.

0:36:59.807 --> 0:37:02.087
<v Speaker 3>You have to let them, but you have to support them.

0:37:02.127 --> 0:37:05.367
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, Holly, I really don't know when you're in.

0:37:05.367 --> 0:37:07.727
<v Speaker 2>It, when you think they're making a bad choice. Because

0:37:07.727 --> 0:37:10.007
<v Speaker 2>this is what I often struggle with now. It gives

0:37:10.007 --> 0:37:11.607
<v Speaker 2>me a lot of insight into what I was like

0:37:11.687 --> 0:37:13.527
<v Speaker 2>at that age and what my mom must have had

0:37:13.567 --> 0:37:17.447
<v Speaker 2>to swallow her tongue. I mean, when you think they're

0:37:17.447 --> 0:37:20.727
<v Speaker 2>making a bad choice, sometimes you have to just go.

0:37:21.287 --> 0:37:22.887
<v Speaker 2>I guess you can talk to Tony about it, right,

0:37:22.927 --> 0:37:24.727
<v Speaker 2>but you have to just go It's okay?

0:37:24.847 --> 0:37:25.327
<v Speaker 1>Is their thing?

0:37:25.727 --> 0:37:25.927
<v Speaker 3>You know?

0:37:26.247 --> 0:37:27.127
<v Speaker 2>Have you learned how to do?

0:37:27.207 --> 0:37:29.367
<v Speaker 3>I read this quite one to where you shouldn't buddy

0:37:29.367 --> 0:37:33.007
<v Speaker 3>in with your opinion. You should ask the question and say, well, darling,

0:37:33.087 --> 0:37:35.607
<v Speaker 3>if you did that, what would be the consequence?

0:37:36.007 --> 0:37:37.687
<v Speaker 1>But do we do that in the heat of the moment.

0:37:37.727 --> 0:37:40.487
<v Speaker 1>We don't do that. We go away being so like idiot,

0:37:40.687 --> 0:37:42.367
<v Speaker 1>like what, I can't believe you.

0:37:44.327 --> 0:37:47.087
<v Speaker 3>I've gone off so many times, and if I had

0:37:47.247 --> 0:37:50.607
<v Speaker 3>just had the self restraint to then ask questions, that

0:37:50.647 --> 0:37:51.287
<v Speaker 3>would have been.

0:37:51.487 --> 0:37:52.367
<v Speaker 1>A whole lot better.

0:37:52.567 --> 0:37:54.767
<v Speaker 3>But look, you know what, I'm also like, I beat

0:37:54.807 --> 0:37:56.567
<v Speaker 3>myself up about it. I'm like, you do the best

0:37:56.567 --> 0:37:59.487
<v Speaker 3>that you can do. I have so many parenting books

0:37:59.527 --> 0:38:01.807
<v Speaker 3>it's not funny. Yeah, I flip through them from time

0:38:01.847 --> 0:38:03.447
<v Speaker 3>to time, But when you're in the thick of it,

0:38:03.447 --> 0:38:05.767
<v Speaker 3>it's really hard. And I just think, lean on the

0:38:05.807 --> 0:38:08.767
<v Speaker 3>people who can support you. And you have to be

0:38:08.887 --> 0:38:11.807
<v Speaker 3>very care with other mum friends not to portray confidence,

0:38:11.847 --> 0:38:15.447
<v Speaker 3>says as well do because that can happen. You don't

0:38:15.447 --> 0:38:17.287
<v Speaker 3>want to go running to your other mum friend and

0:38:17.327 --> 0:38:20.927
<v Speaker 3>go ahhrah ah rah and suddenly you know they're learning

0:38:21.007 --> 0:38:23.687
<v Speaker 3>all about stuff. That's so you have to be smart

0:38:23.767 --> 0:38:26.607
<v Speaker 3>about it. Trust your gud like you can just trust

0:38:26.647 --> 0:38:28.967
<v Speaker 3>your gud like, do you know what, I don't think

0:38:28.967 --> 0:38:31.407
<v Speaker 3>my mum would have read a parenting book in her life.

0:38:31.807 --> 0:38:34.367
<v Speaker 3>And she's my mum and she's the best mum I

0:38:34.367 --> 0:38:37.407
<v Speaker 3>could hope for. Could she write a book about parenting? No?

0:38:38.527 --> 0:38:40.767
<v Speaker 1>Did mum make a lot of mistakes? Probably? Do I

0:38:40.807 --> 0:38:42.887
<v Speaker 1>remember them? Not really, Like I.

0:38:42.807 --> 0:38:44.927
<v Speaker 3>Just know that she's my mum and she's there for me.

0:38:44.967 --> 0:38:47.487
<v Speaker 3>And that's all I want is for my kids to

0:38:47.527 --> 0:38:49.407
<v Speaker 3>know that I'm their mum and I will always be

0:38:49.487 --> 0:38:51.767
<v Speaker 3>there for them, and I can only be who I am.

0:38:51.807 --> 0:38:54.807
<v Speaker 3>But another good quote is, and I did actually say

0:38:54.807 --> 0:38:56.727
<v Speaker 3>this to us once, I am being the mum to

0:38:56.807 --> 0:38:58.367
<v Speaker 3>a twenty one year old for the first time ever.

0:38:58.807 --> 0:39:00.287
<v Speaker 3>I've never been mum to a twenty one year old,

0:39:00.287 --> 0:39:02.487
<v Speaker 3>so I'm not really sure about this either, so let's

0:39:02.487 --> 0:39:03.487
<v Speaker 3>figure it out together.

0:39:04.247 --> 0:39:07.967
<v Speaker 2>I am in that beautiful Weekly story. Also, I'm not

0:39:08.007 --> 0:39:09.687
<v Speaker 2>sure which one of you boys said this. They said

0:39:10.087 --> 0:39:12.047
<v Speaker 2>they remember doing a shoot like that when they were

0:39:12.047 --> 0:39:14.407
<v Speaker 2>four or young and they didn't really like it, but

0:39:14.447 --> 0:39:15.647
<v Speaker 2>they really liked it this.

0:39:15.607 --> 0:39:16.887
<v Speaker 1>Time around has grown up?

0:39:17.607 --> 0:39:19.367
<v Speaker 2>Is that also a bit of a challenge, Like do

0:39:19.367 --> 0:39:21.247
<v Speaker 2>you think it's been a challenge for the boys to

0:39:21.287 --> 0:39:23.687
<v Speaker 2>be I have parents in the public eye.

0:39:24.127 --> 0:39:25.407
<v Speaker 1>They haven't done a.

0:39:25.447 --> 0:39:28.127
<v Speaker 3>Lot as far as that's the first time they've ever

0:39:28.167 --> 0:39:31.007
<v Speaker 3>been quoted. I think was in the Women's Week and

0:39:31.047 --> 0:39:33.207
<v Speaker 3>they were nineteen and twenty one, so I figured that

0:39:33.287 --> 0:39:33.727
<v Speaker 3>was ok.

0:39:34.007 --> 0:39:34.887
<v Speaker 1>That was okay.

0:39:35.367 --> 0:39:36.967
<v Speaker 3>Why they liked it this time is that they got

0:39:37.087 --> 0:39:40.167
<v Speaker 3>Ralph Lauren suits, and the suit's worth two thousand dollars.

0:39:40.287 --> 0:39:42.087
<v Speaker 3>They didn't get to keep them. I think I actually

0:39:42.087 --> 0:39:44.367
<v Speaker 3>tried on He said, oh mom, this is a lovely suit.

0:39:44.447 --> 0:39:46.127
<v Speaker 3>I went, yes, isn't it? And give it back please

0:39:46.167 --> 0:39:46.887
<v Speaker 3>to the stylist.

0:39:46.927 --> 0:39:48.327
<v Speaker 2>You should have spilt something on it.

0:39:48.647 --> 0:39:50.327
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Oh damn, I didn't.

0:39:50.567 --> 0:39:54.527
<v Speaker 3>So it wasn't a struggle for them, I don't think,

0:39:54.567 --> 0:39:57.927
<v Speaker 3>but I've tried to. Some people are really precious about it,

0:39:58.207 --> 0:40:01.847
<v Speaker 3>and that's good. I always thought I've got some access

0:40:01.887 --> 0:40:04.567
<v Speaker 3>to some really good photographers through these magazines. I have

0:40:04.647 --> 0:40:07.767
<v Speaker 3>got the best family album. So do you want to

0:40:07.767 --> 0:40:10.767
<v Speaker 3>export your kids? No? Look, I think I've probably done

0:40:11.487 --> 0:40:13.447
<v Speaker 3>one when they were little. I think was on Dancing

0:40:13.487 --> 0:40:15.967
<v Speaker 3>with the Stars and they just stood there. So two

0:40:16.007 --> 0:40:19.247
<v Speaker 3>thousand and nine, twenty twenty throat and.

0:40:19.167 --> 0:40:20.567
<v Speaker 2>Now you can put the pictures on the wall and

0:40:20.607 --> 0:40:25.927
<v Speaker 2>happy days. Talking about your mum. She called Mark Margaret Margaret.

0:40:26.007 --> 0:40:26.847
<v Speaker 2>Sorry I shouldn't call it.

0:40:27.807 --> 0:40:30.447
<v Speaker 3>We all call it Giama. That's what the boys call her,

0:40:30.647 --> 0:40:32.327
<v Speaker 3>and so we all just now call a gema. I'll

0:40:32.367 --> 0:40:33.327
<v Speaker 3>ring up, go high dreamer.

0:40:34.007 --> 0:40:38.127
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to talk about your parents because also something

0:40:38.127 --> 0:40:42.247
<v Speaker 2>that is a very mid experience is you've got your kids.

0:40:42.327 --> 0:40:44.087
<v Speaker 2>You know you're looking after your kids, and your parents

0:40:44.087 --> 0:40:46.407
<v Speaker 2>are getting older. And I know you lost your beautiful

0:40:46.447 --> 0:40:48.807
<v Speaker 2>dad a few years ago and you have written so

0:40:48.927 --> 0:40:51.567
<v Speaker 2>beautifully about that. And also it was COVID and you

0:40:51.647 --> 0:40:54.967
<v Speaker 2>couldn't go to his funeral, and that's just I can't imagine.

0:40:55.527 --> 0:40:58.527
<v Speaker 2>How do you juggle that, that feeling of you know,

0:40:58.647 --> 0:41:01.887
<v Speaker 2>caring for parents. Why you've got a family and I

0:41:01.967 --> 0:41:05.847
<v Speaker 2>know that, like me, you live away from them. What

0:41:05.927 --> 0:41:07.527
<v Speaker 2>have you learned about that process?

0:41:07.567 --> 0:41:12.287
<v Speaker 1>And how so they do you call it the sandwich? Yes,

0:41:14.407 --> 0:41:15.407
<v Speaker 1>yes to some extent.

0:41:15.727 --> 0:41:18.847
<v Speaker 3>My dad got sick and so Mum and Dad left

0:41:18.847 --> 0:41:21.607
<v Speaker 3>the family home of Tamworth where they had lived oh

0:41:21.647 --> 0:41:24.007
<v Speaker 3>since they were married, so they had lived there for

0:41:24.007 --> 0:41:26.687
<v Speaker 3>forty five years in the same house, and when Dad

0:41:26.727 --> 0:41:28.927
<v Speaker 3>got sick, they made the decision to move to Queensland

0:41:28.927 --> 0:41:32.287
<v Speaker 3>to be closer to my sister so she could be

0:41:32.327 --> 0:41:36.487
<v Speaker 3>of support. So my sister Stacy is an amazing support

0:41:36.687 --> 0:41:39.287
<v Speaker 3>to Mum and continues to be And it's coming up

0:41:39.327 --> 0:41:43.767
<v Speaker 3>to three years since we lost dad, so I feel

0:41:43.807 --> 0:41:46.367
<v Speaker 3>that she was a great support to them and continues

0:41:46.447 --> 0:41:49.887
<v Speaker 3>to be for Mum, and I have to support her.

0:41:50.967 --> 0:41:54.567
<v Speaker 3>So I think for the people who are really close geographically,

0:41:55.287 --> 0:41:58.327
<v Speaker 3>it's really important to support the kira. Not that Stacey

0:41:58.487 --> 0:42:01.647
<v Speaker 3>is their Kira, but she lives just up the road

0:42:01.807 --> 0:42:05.767
<v Speaker 3>from Mum. So I feel that I like to support Stace,

0:42:06.607 --> 0:42:11.007
<v Speaker 3>and then of course support Mum. Mom comes to Sydney

0:42:11.287 --> 0:42:13.247
<v Speaker 3>with five. Mom down to Sydney, she comes to opening

0:42:13.287 --> 0:42:13.767
<v Speaker 3>nights with me.

0:42:13.887 --> 0:42:16.007
<v Speaker 1>She loves the theater, so that's a real treat to

0:42:16.047 --> 0:42:16.887
<v Speaker 1>be able to take her to.

0:42:17.287 --> 0:42:20.447
<v Speaker 3>Red carpets and opening nights and that's so great, take

0:42:20.487 --> 0:42:23.567
<v Speaker 3>her shopping in Sydney and be there for her in

0:42:23.607 --> 0:42:29.127
<v Speaker 3>those ways. I speak to her almost every day, but

0:42:29.567 --> 0:42:30.127
<v Speaker 3>it's hard.

0:42:30.447 --> 0:42:30.887
<v Speaker 1>It's hard.

0:42:30.967 --> 0:42:36.767
<v Speaker 3>Mum's eighty five though, going eighty six, eighty six, going

0:42:36.807 --> 0:42:39.487
<v Speaker 3>on sixty. She looks in very good form. I saw

0:42:39.527 --> 0:42:40.407
<v Speaker 3>the post she shed.

0:42:40.487 --> 0:42:42.647
<v Speaker 2>I think it was Mother's Day and she was dancing.

0:42:43.287 --> 0:42:44.647
<v Speaker 1>Oh, that was my sister's wedding.

0:42:44.727 --> 0:42:49.087
<v Speaker 3>My sister got married recently in Bali and Mom kicked

0:42:49.087 --> 0:42:51.527
<v Speaker 3>her shoes off and was dancing barefoot. She was horrified

0:42:51.567 --> 0:42:53.967
<v Speaker 3>that I put a barefoot shot of her dancing Like

0:42:54.007 --> 0:42:56.087
<v Speaker 3>the dancing was fine, but Kylely, I haven't got my

0:42:56.167 --> 0:42:56.647
<v Speaker 3>shoes on.

0:42:57.047 --> 0:42:58.687
<v Speaker 1>Mum. We were on the grass. That was fine. It

0:42:58.687 --> 0:43:00.967
<v Speaker 1>was in Bali, it was beside the pool and she.

0:43:00.967 --> 0:43:03.807
<v Speaker 3>Was dancing with the kids. So she loves her grandchildren.

0:43:03.887 --> 0:43:06.047
<v Speaker 3>She's got four, my two boys, my sister's two girls.

0:43:06.287 --> 0:43:09.407
<v Speaker 3>She loves them to bits. She is there for them.

0:43:09.527 --> 0:43:12.607
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes she's speaking to my children even when I'm not.

0:43:12.607 --> 0:43:15.247
<v Speaker 3>Not I'm not speaking to them, but she'll say, oh,

0:43:15.287 --> 0:43:16.007
<v Speaker 3>I spoke to Gus.

0:43:16.007 --> 0:43:18.487
<v Speaker 1>You're saying what he rang you. He's in Berlin. He

0:43:18.567 --> 0:43:19.527
<v Speaker 1>rang you, he didn't ring me.

0:43:20.647 --> 0:43:22.967
<v Speaker 3>So I love that she has that relationship with her grandkids,

0:43:23.447 --> 0:43:25.967
<v Speaker 3>and she's obviously very close to my sister as well.

0:43:27.327 --> 0:43:30.287
<v Speaker 3>It can be a juggle, I guess, but again it's

0:43:30.327 --> 0:43:31.967
<v Speaker 3>just that you do what you do. You do.

0:43:32.647 --> 0:43:33.527
<v Speaker 1>It's hard, I.

0:43:33.487 --> 0:43:36.727
<v Speaker 2>Think if you're away. I mean, obviously my situation is

0:43:36.767 --> 0:43:39.447
<v Speaker 2>different again because my parents are in England so very far.

0:43:39.807 --> 0:43:42.327
<v Speaker 3>It's very difficult. My girlfriend's in the same situation. She

0:43:42.407 --> 0:43:45.047
<v Speaker 3>feels that pool immensely.

0:43:44.767 --> 0:43:47.087
<v Speaker 2>And my brother's there but I'm here.

0:43:47.207 --> 0:43:49.607
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So do you support your brother, Holly.

0:43:49.847 --> 0:43:52.927
<v Speaker 2>So that's what I'm trying to do at the moment.

0:43:53.207 --> 0:43:56.847
<v Speaker 2>Is like, because they're getting to that age where things

0:43:56.847 --> 0:44:00.127
<v Speaker 2>are beginning to happen? Is it inevitable? I think it's

0:44:00.207 --> 0:44:05.327
<v Speaker 2>very difficult. Like your parents sound like very capable, independent,

0:44:05.727 --> 0:44:09.087
<v Speaker 2>like hard work people who the idea of being cared

0:44:09.087 --> 0:44:09.567
<v Speaker 2>for or is.

0:44:09.527 --> 0:44:11.247
<v Speaker 1>Like their worst nightmare. Oh horrible.

0:44:11.607 --> 0:44:15.447
<v Speaker 2>So knowing that that's what's ahead, you know, it's either

0:44:15.487 --> 0:44:17.727
<v Speaker 2>happening or it's about to happen, is very hard for

0:44:17.767 --> 0:44:21.767
<v Speaker 2>them as well. And so being far away, you know,

0:44:21.847 --> 0:44:23.407
<v Speaker 2>I reach out to my brother about it a lot,

0:44:23.447 --> 0:44:26.127
<v Speaker 2>but I worry and I panic about what will happen

0:44:26.167 --> 0:44:28.447
<v Speaker 2>when this happens and that happens, and shouldn't a daughter

0:44:28.567 --> 0:44:31.847
<v Speaker 2>be there? And there's guilt. I don't know what have

0:44:31.887 --> 0:44:33.007
<v Speaker 2>you got to teach me about that?

0:44:33.087 --> 0:44:36.327
<v Speaker 1>Kind I think you support your brother.

0:44:36.727 --> 0:44:40.727
<v Speaker 3>I think it's really important to do that because he's

0:44:40.727 --> 0:44:44.207
<v Speaker 3>on the ground and as capable as your parents are,

0:44:44.207 --> 0:44:46.687
<v Speaker 3>they will be leaning on him. So it's important that

0:44:46.727 --> 0:44:49.767
<v Speaker 3>you help prop him up as well. And I've tried

0:44:49.767 --> 0:44:52.087
<v Speaker 3>to do that for Stace, so I'm not sure. I'm

0:44:52.127 --> 0:44:54.007
<v Speaker 3>not sure if she thinks I would, but it's you know,

0:44:54.207 --> 0:44:55.847
<v Speaker 3>you take the phone calls and you make sure you ring.

0:44:55.767 --> 0:44:56.327
<v Speaker 1>Her as well.

0:44:56.847 --> 0:44:59.247
<v Speaker 3>It's really interesting to know my brother in law is

0:44:59.247 --> 0:45:01.207
<v Speaker 3>a beautiful man, and I spoke to him about this

0:45:01.287 --> 0:45:04.687
<v Speaker 3>recently and he said, there's lots of grief that goes

0:45:04.727 --> 0:45:08.047
<v Speaker 3>through for older people. So Mum would be grieving Dad's loss.

0:45:08.447 --> 0:45:11.007
<v Speaker 3>She's still miss as dead terribly, but then also grieving

0:45:11.047 --> 0:45:14.327
<v Speaker 3>maybe the loss of her license or the loss of

0:45:14.727 --> 0:45:17.207
<v Speaker 3>you know, there's many milestones that happen when you reach

0:45:17.247 --> 0:45:20.207
<v Speaker 3>a certain age. And so my brother in law said

0:45:20.207 --> 0:45:23.047
<v Speaker 3>to me, Kylie, remember that there is stages of grief,

0:45:23.367 --> 0:45:25.767
<v Speaker 3>and it's not just the grief about dad, but it's

0:45:25.807 --> 0:45:28.447
<v Speaker 3>a grief about much the same as us and the

0:45:28.527 --> 0:45:32.407
<v Speaker 3>kids leaving home. There's grief, and so you have to

0:45:33.247 --> 0:45:38.447
<v Speaker 3>recognize that and listen to them and support them and

0:45:38.527 --> 0:45:41.567
<v Speaker 3>don't try and cajole them too much, like hear them out,

0:45:41.887 --> 0:45:43.887
<v Speaker 3>because they just want to be heard. So it's no

0:45:43.967 --> 0:45:46.207
<v Speaker 3>good if they go i'm feeling really sad about this and.

0:45:46.207 --> 0:45:47.727
<v Speaker 1>You go, oh, well, that doesn't matter.

0:45:47.847 --> 0:45:50.687
<v Speaker 3>Let's the same as if you said I'm feeling really

0:45:50.727 --> 0:45:55.047
<v Speaker 3>sad about your daughter. She's not in you twelve, but

0:45:55.127 --> 0:45:56.807
<v Speaker 3>my I'm feeling really sad about my daughter finishing year

0:45:56.807 --> 0:45:58.887
<v Speaker 3>twelve and someone goes, well, it's okay, she's still da

0:45:59.127 --> 0:46:00.687
<v Speaker 3>da and you just want to be heard, you want

0:46:00.727 --> 0:46:02.647
<v Speaker 3>to go no, I feel really sad. So I think

0:46:02.647 --> 0:46:06.087
<v Speaker 3>it's really important to listen to them and support them

0:46:06.127 --> 0:46:09.967
<v Speaker 3>and let them feel all the feels, because there's nothing

0:46:10.007 --> 0:46:11.607
<v Speaker 3>worse than you know it yourself. If you want to

0:46:11.647 --> 0:46:14.767
<v Speaker 3>go through something and you want to be heard and

0:46:14.807 --> 0:46:19.527
<v Speaker 3>someone doesn't listen to you, that's awful. So I think

0:46:19.607 --> 0:46:22.127
<v Speaker 3>listen is the most important thing that you can do.

0:46:22.367 --> 0:46:23.927
<v Speaker 2>I think that's very good advice.

0:46:24.047 --> 0:46:26.767
<v Speaker 3>And when your brother rings, something goes, Mom is driving

0:46:27.247 --> 0:46:29.967
<v Speaker 3>crazy and you go, what's your brother's name?

0:46:30.087 --> 0:46:32.647
<v Speaker 1>Tom? Tom? Oh, Tom, that must be really harpy.

0:46:32.727 --> 0:46:36.247
<v Speaker 3>Tell me about it, well, Mum, so I think it's

0:46:36.247 --> 0:46:39.647
<v Speaker 3>really important And Tom, yeah, oh well Tom, if you

0:46:39.807 --> 0:46:41.847
<v Speaker 3>just did this, Tom, And if you did this Tom,

0:46:42.487 --> 0:46:45.727
<v Speaker 3>listen to Tom and go I hear you, Tom, What can

0:46:45.767 --> 0:46:48.007
<v Speaker 3>I do to help out? He'll go, oh, nothing, I'm fine,

0:46:48.207 --> 0:46:51.007
<v Speaker 3>and he'll feel better because he's been able to unload

0:46:51.087 --> 0:46:54.807
<v Speaker 3>on you because he can't unload on Mum.

0:46:55.567 --> 0:46:57.767
<v Speaker 2>I can't imagine how difficult it was for you that

0:46:57.887 --> 0:46:59.647
<v Speaker 2>period where you were grieving your dad and the borders

0:46:59.687 --> 0:47:02.807
<v Speaker 2>were closed because Queensland obviously we weren't allowed to go

0:47:02.927 --> 0:47:04.527
<v Speaker 2>up there if you're in New South Wales and that

0:47:04.607 --> 0:47:07.767
<v Speaker 2>must have been unbelievably difficult to get through. You have

0:47:08.007 --> 0:47:11.207
<v Speaker 2>already spoken about it. Sounds like you have a very

0:47:11.247 --> 0:47:12.487
<v Speaker 2>solid partnership.

0:47:12.887 --> 0:47:14.407
<v Speaker 1>We've been married for thirty five years.

0:47:14.807 --> 0:47:15.687
<v Speaker 2>This is amazing.

0:47:16.127 --> 0:47:19.767
<v Speaker 1>But again, I hate that hashtag couple goals, yeah, because.

0:47:19.527 --> 0:47:21.247
<v Speaker 3>I write something nice and someone will say that and

0:47:21.287 --> 0:47:22.527
<v Speaker 3>I go, oh, that's really lovely.

0:47:22.607 --> 0:47:24.207
<v Speaker 1>But oh, it's so not that.

0:47:25.247 --> 0:47:26.927
<v Speaker 3>Like you know, when I'm yelling at him about the

0:47:27.367 --> 0:47:29.927
<v Speaker 3>towel on the floor, hashtag couple goals, you know that's

0:47:29.967 --> 0:47:32.007
<v Speaker 3>also got to be included, you know what I mean?

0:47:32.407 --> 0:47:34.127
<v Speaker 2>So is he your biggest support?

0:47:34.167 --> 0:47:34.327
<v Speaker 3>Though?

0:47:34.367 --> 0:47:36.927
<v Speaker 1>Is he the person? Again?

0:47:37.007 --> 0:47:40.167
<v Speaker 3>Someone once said to me, we're talking about relationships, and

0:47:40.167 --> 0:47:42.887
<v Speaker 3>it's like, if something good happens to you, who do

0:47:42.887 --> 0:47:45.407
<v Speaker 3>you want to tell? And he'd be the first person

0:47:45.407 --> 0:47:47.727
<v Speaker 3>I want to tell. Or if something bad happened, who

0:47:47.767 --> 0:47:50.367
<v Speaker 3>do you want to tell first? And he's my person,

0:47:50.847 --> 0:47:52.847
<v Speaker 3>So if you can, you know, it's not oh I

0:47:52.887 --> 0:47:56.327
<v Speaker 3>want to tell my girlfriend. So I think in a couple,

0:47:56.407 --> 0:47:56.927
<v Speaker 3>that's what.

0:47:56.807 --> 0:47:58.607
<v Speaker 1>I want for my boys.

0:47:59.287 --> 0:48:01.447
<v Speaker 3>I would love them to find someone in their life

0:48:01.567 --> 0:48:03.847
<v Speaker 3>who's going to be your person, and it's not that

0:48:03.887 --> 0:48:06.287
<v Speaker 3>one person has to be everything to you, but I

0:48:06.287 --> 0:48:08.807
<v Speaker 3>think they've got to be on your side, and I

0:48:08.807 --> 0:48:11.767
<v Speaker 3>think I have to support you. There's also like, oh

0:48:11.767 --> 0:48:14.287
<v Speaker 3>my god, there's there's good times and bad times and

0:48:15.207 --> 0:48:17.807
<v Speaker 3>life it can be shitty, but life can be good

0:48:17.847 --> 0:48:19.567
<v Speaker 3>and it can be shitty, and it can be good

0:48:19.567 --> 0:48:20.247
<v Speaker 3>and shitty all.

0:48:20.127 --> 0:48:22.407
<v Speaker 1>In one day or all in one hour.

0:48:23.967 --> 0:48:24.287
<v Speaker 3>Come in.

0:48:24.407 --> 0:48:26.487
<v Speaker 1>I just think you have to it. We met. I

0:48:26.567 --> 0:48:29.127
<v Speaker 1>was married two days after I turned twenty two.

0:48:29.287 --> 0:48:30.087
<v Speaker 2>That's amazing.

0:48:30.087 --> 0:48:31.247
<v Speaker 3>I was engaged when I was I think I was

0:48:31.287 --> 0:48:33.807
<v Speaker 3>twenty so I was just really lucky. I obviously met

0:48:33.807 --> 0:48:35.767
<v Speaker 3>my person when I was young. Where did you meet

0:48:36.687 --> 0:48:40.127
<v Speaker 3>in Tamworth? Tony worked at the local newspaper and I

0:48:40.207 --> 0:48:41.087
<v Speaker 3>worked at the local TV.

0:48:41.407 --> 0:48:43.007
<v Speaker 2>And was he from Tamworth too or was he a

0:48:43.047 --> 0:48:43.927
<v Speaker 2>blowing I look.

0:48:43.767 --> 0:48:45.967
<v Speaker 3>Originally from Adelaide, but had lived in Tamworth since he

0:48:46.047 --> 0:48:48.367
<v Speaker 3>was fourteen, so I had done all his high schooling

0:48:48.447 --> 0:48:52.247
<v Speaker 3>years in Tamworth at the same high school I went to.

0:48:52.727 --> 0:48:54.287
<v Speaker 3>But he's seven years older than I am, so we

0:48:54.287 --> 0:48:57.167
<v Speaker 3>weren't at high school together. But he once came and

0:48:57.287 --> 0:49:00.567
<v Speaker 3>gave a talk at my year eleven journalism class. I

0:49:00.607 --> 0:49:03.407
<v Speaker 3>was on the school newspaper, and Tony was the star

0:49:03.647 --> 0:49:06.927
<v Speaker 3>graduate of the Tamworth High School Kohala newspaper.

0:49:07.127 --> 0:49:07.727
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:49:07.887 --> 0:49:10.407
<v Speaker 3>And because he had made the big time by being

0:49:10.447 --> 0:49:13.887
<v Speaker 3>a sub editor at the Northern Daily Leader, Tamworth newspaper,

0:49:14.087 --> 0:49:15.407
<v Speaker 3>he was brought back.

0:49:15.527 --> 0:49:16.567
<v Speaker 1>Into the classroom.

0:49:16.647 --> 0:49:20.527
<v Speaker 3>Look, he's our star student, Tony Gillies. He used to

0:49:20.527 --> 0:49:22.647
<v Speaker 3>be at Tamworth High School and now he works on

0:49:22.687 --> 0:49:23.727
<v Speaker 3>the local newspaper.

0:49:24.087 --> 0:49:25.607
<v Speaker 1>Let's hear it from mister Gillies.

0:49:25.807 --> 0:49:26.167
<v Speaker 3>Yay.

0:49:27.047 --> 0:49:27.767
<v Speaker 1>I love that.

0:49:27.887 --> 0:49:29.767
<v Speaker 3>And then what I would have been like sixteen, and

0:49:29.767 --> 0:49:32.047
<v Speaker 3>then it turns out how many years later I end

0:49:32.167 --> 0:49:33.247
<v Speaker 3>up marrying him?

0:49:33.647 --> 0:49:35.887
<v Speaker 1>Not that I oh god, no, not that I me

0:49:36.167 --> 0:49:38.047
<v Speaker 1>mayor or whatever. I would meet him.

0:49:38.247 --> 0:49:40.007
<v Speaker 3>So if I was sixteen, then I would meet him

0:49:40.047 --> 0:49:41.367
<v Speaker 3>sort of three years later.

0:49:41.967 --> 0:49:44.247
<v Speaker 2>And I know you would hate this question because, as

0:49:44.247 --> 0:49:46.847
<v Speaker 2>you've just said, it isn't like this. But what happens

0:49:46.847 --> 0:49:48.567
<v Speaker 2>to a lot of people is that, you know, a

0:49:48.567 --> 0:49:51.007
<v Speaker 2>lot of things change between then and now, and it's

0:49:51.207 --> 0:49:53.927
<v Speaker 2>not always easy to stay on the same page. Oh God,

0:49:54.007 --> 0:49:56.127
<v Speaker 2>So do you think there's a secret or do you

0:49:56.127 --> 0:49:58.007
<v Speaker 2>think a lot of it's luck in choosing that person

0:49:58.047 --> 0:49:58.567
<v Speaker 2>at that time?

0:50:01.407 --> 0:50:03.847
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Holly. I don't know.

0:50:05.407 --> 0:50:10.647
<v Speaker 3>Maybe it's luck, Maybe it's you're a bill to tolerate. Maybe

0:50:10.647 --> 0:50:14.447
<v Speaker 3>I have a high tolerance, Like you've got to tolerate

0:50:14.487 --> 0:50:17.167
<v Speaker 3>a lot of stuff in a person. Right you're living

0:50:17.167 --> 0:50:18.647
<v Speaker 3>in the same house. We've lived together in the same

0:50:18.687 --> 0:50:20.447
<v Speaker 3>house for thirty five years.

0:50:20.487 --> 0:50:20.767
<v Speaker 1>I think it.

0:50:20.847 --> 0:50:24.207
<v Speaker 3>Look, it's understanding. It's tolerance, it's not walking out when

0:50:24.207 --> 0:50:28.687
<v Speaker 3>the going gets tough, but it's also choosing the right person.

0:50:29.567 --> 0:50:33.887
<v Speaker 3>Chinye is a good person. We had shared outlook on life.

0:50:34.447 --> 0:50:35.967
<v Speaker 3>Do you know what that was fifteen years before we

0:50:36.007 --> 0:50:36.807
<v Speaker 3>had kids. Yeah.

0:50:36.847 --> 0:50:40.767
<v Speaker 2>I wonder if that's also really helpful at this time

0:50:40.927 --> 0:50:42.407
<v Speaker 2>on the other side of the kids.

0:50:42.527 --> 0:50:45.087
<v Speaker 1>Maybe that was by design.

0:50:45.727 --> 0:50:47.767
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want kids straight away, like I got married

0:50:47.767 --> 0:50:49.167
<v Speaker 3>when I was twenty two. There's no way I wanted

0:50:49.247 --> 0:50:51.647
<v Speaker 3>kids straight away. So we were happy, really happy in

0:50:51.687 --> 0:50:54.487
<v Speaker 3>our careers. This comes back to the loving what you do.

0:50:54.967 --> 0:50:59.367
<v Speaker 3>He's passionate about journalism. I'm passionate about journalism. We both

0:50:59.687 --> 0:51:03.087
<v Speaker 3>loved our work and we were really happy working until

0:51:03.447 --> 0:51:05.367
<v Speaker 3>I did the Sydney Olympics in two thousand.

0:51:05.687 --> 0:51:08.247
<v Speaker 1>That was a goal. Yeah I did that, and then

0:51:08.287 --> 0:51:10.527
<v Speaker 1>we oh, we should think about having kids. Now.

0:51:11.207 --> 0:51:15.927
<v Speaker 3>I had two miscarriages before then falling pregnant with Gus,

0:51:16.247 --> 0:51:17.847
<v Speaker 3>so there was a little like maybe I would have

0:51:17.847 --> 0:51:19.847
<v Speaker 3>had kids maybe when I was thirty three if things

0:51:19.887 --> 0:51:21.447
<v Speaker 3>had gone right, but.

0:51:21.487 --> 0:51:24.807
<v Speaker 1>They didn't, and so I don't know, maybe that's why

0:51:24.807 --> 0:51:25.407
<v Speaker 1>we've lasted.

0:51:25.447 --> 0:51:28.327
<v Speaker 3>I don't look it's it's a crap shoot, like it's

0:51:28.327 --> 0:51:30.727
<v Speaker 3>a it's a like, you know, let's roll the dice

0:51:30.767 --> 0:51:32.847
<v Speaker 3>and see how we go. I do think you have

0:51:32.887 --> 0:51:36.487
<v Speaker 3>to have that shared outlook on life, shared moral compass,

0:51:37.247 --> 0:51:39.047
<v Speaker 3>and be tolerant, I guess I.

0:51:38.967 --> 0:51:41.087
<v Speaker 1>Think, and a lot, you know what, You've got to

0:51:41.167 --> 0:51:43.407
<v Speaker 1>love the person like I can still at time and

0:51:43.447 --> 0:51:44.367
<v Speaker 1>go I love you.

0:51:45.167 --> 0:51:47.047
<v Speaker 2>And you like going away for the weekend with him,

0:51:47.047 --> 0:51:48.927
<v Speaker 2>and you like hanging out with them on a Saturday night,

0:51:48.967 --> 0:51:51.047
<v Speaker 2>and you like that stuff sometimes.

0:51:51.407 --> 0:51:54.447
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes like and sometimes I'm like, oh, I am like

0:51:54.607 --> 0:51:57.847
<v Speaker 3>over you like and I'm going upstairs to bed. But no, look,

0:51:57.887 --> 0:51:59.527
<v Speaker 3>I think you know you have to look at them

0:51:59.567 --> 0:52:03.167
<v Speaker 3>and go, I still love you after all of these years.

0:52:03.447 --> 0:52:05.727
<v Speaker 2>I often think that when you get to this grown

0:52:05.807 --> 0:52:09.287
<v Speaker 2>up age that we are, you've also been through a

0:52:09.127 --> 0:52:11.447
<v Speaker 2>lot of shit together, right, So you know, as you

0:52:11.487 --> 0:52:14.087
<v Speaker 2>just said, you've been through miscarriage together, you've been young together,

0:52:14.727 --> 0:52:18.807
<v Speaker 2>and then losing parents and all the many little scary

0:52:18.887 --> 0:52:21.607
<v Speaker 2>moments with kids, and it's like how you learn a

0:52:21.647 --> 0:52:23.727
<v Speaker 2>lot about somebody and how they react in all those

0:52:23.767 --> 0:52:25.447
<v Speaker 2>moments and if they're going to be there for you.

0:52:25.487 --> 0:52:28.767
<v Speaker 2>And I think that obviously where you are now, you

0:52:28.887 --> 0:52:30.007
<v Speaker 2>know that so solidly.

0:52:30.087 --> 0:52:31.447
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, he's not going anywhere.

0:52:31.887 --> 0:52:34.407
<v Speaker 3>I'm not going anywhere, So we're stuck with each other

0:52:34.527 --> 0:52:36.447
<v Speaker 3>for hopefully a lot of years to come.

0:52:37.327 --> 0:52:39.527
<v Speaker 2>Do you think your parents were really good role models

0:52:39.567 --> 0:52:39.967
<v Speaker 2>for that too?

0:52:40.007 --> 0:52:42.407
<v Speaker 3>Do you think that's well, yeah, they were married for

0:52:42.687 --> 0:52:44.287
<v Speaker 3>I think jashi fifty five years.

0:52:44.327 --> 0:52:46.687
<v Speaker 1>I think they get to fifty six something like that.

0:52:46.927 --> 0:52:50.887
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And I look at Mom and Mom just yeah,

0:52:50.887 --> 0:52:54.047
<v Speaker 3>like when my sister got married, for example, earlier this year,

0:52:54.447 --> 0:52:57.367
<v Speaker 3>like Dad wasn't there for that, And I know Mom

0:52:57.447 --> 0:53:01.567
<v Speaker 3>felt that keenly. So when big things happen in our family,

0:53:01.807 --> 0:53:04.527
<v Speaker 3>Dad's no longer there for it, and so I know

0:53:04.647 --> 0:53:08.287
<v Speaker 3>she feels that we all do. But you know, we're

0:53:08.327 --> 0:53:11.287
<v Speaker 3>all there with our husbanans and you know, grandkids now

0:53:11.327 --> 0:53:15.487
<v Speaker 3>have partners, So I know Mum feels that keenly. But

0:53:16.007 --> 0:53:19.047
<v Speaker 3>Dad lived to be ninety one. So they had many,

0:53:19.087 --> 0:53:22.407
<v Speaker 3>many good years together. And so comes back to saying

0:53:22.407 --> 0:53:25.047
<v Speaker 3>the Mum, that must be really hard and I know

0:53:25.127 --> 0:53:28.047
<v Speaker 3>you must be missing Dad now. So just listening to

0:53:28.127 --> 0:53:30.847
<v Speaker 3>that and then knowing that you had some really great

0:53:30.927 --> 0:53:32.487
<v Speaker 3>years fifty five of them together.

0:53:32.887 --> 0:53:35.287
<v Speaker 2>You did the most beautiful thing that you posted about

0:53:35.407 --> 0:53:38.367
<v Speaker 2>that you took her a sapphire that he'd bought her

0:53:38.407 --> 0:53:40.767
<v Speaker 2>when they were young. I mean put it in a ring.

0:53:41.247 --> 0:53:44.647
<v Speaker 2>I could cry my hide out and reading that, Yeah.

0:53:44.567 --> 0:53:48.367
<v Speaker 3>What that sapphire had been wrapped up in that little

0:53:48.367 --> 0:53:53.407
<v Speaker 3>bit of tissue for fifty years, like for so many years,

0:53:53.687 --> 0:53:55.767
<v Speaker 3>and they just never got around like that's just not

0:53:56.007 --> 0:53:59.527
<v Speaker 3>in them to spend money on getting that made into

0:53:59.567 --> 0:54:01.287
<v Speaker 3>a ring for mum. Do you mean that just wasn't

0:54:01.327 --> 0:54:04.727
<v Speaker 3>probably part of either their budget their inclination. They would

0:54:04.847 --> 0:54:07.767
<v Speaker 3>always spend the money on us going to a school

0:54:07.807 --> 0:54:10.407
<v Speaker 3>camp rather than mum getting a sa fire ring set.

0:54:11.487 --> 0:54:13.327
<v Speaker 1>So, yeah, she was going through some stuff and she

0:54:13.407 --> 0:54:13.847
<v Speaker 1>dug it out.

0:54:13.927 --> 0:54:16.967
<v Speaker 3>I went, Mum, it's time we got that sapphire that

0:54:17.087 --> 0:54:20.127
<v Speaker 3>dad he got it for her from Inverell.

0:54:19.927 --> 0:54:23.207
<v Speaker 1>The sapphire capital of Australia.

0:54:22.927 --> 0:54:24.567
<v Speaker 3>All those years ago, he was working on the road

0:54:24.647 --> 0:54:27.847
<v Speaker 3>doing something, sales or something, and it had sat in

0:54:27.927 --> 0:54:29.527
<v Speaker 3>mums draw for all those years, wrapped up in a

0:54:29.607 --> 0:54:31.647
<v Speaker 3>bit of tissue. So we got it out and we

0:54:31.687 --> 0:54:33.127
<v Speaker 3>got it made into that ring and she wears it

0:54:33.127 --> 0:54:33.727
<v Speaker 3>every day.

0:54:33.927 --> 0:54:38.167
<v Speaker 2>That's such a beautiful story and such a beautiful sort

0:54:38.207 --> 0:54:41.727
<v Speaker 2>of full circle moment too, I think, because you can

0:54:41.807 --> 0:54:43.087
<v Speaker 2>do things for her now.

0:54:43.367 --> 0:54:45.487
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, that's interesting, isn't it.

0:54:45.567 --> 0:54:45.927
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? I know.

0:54:46.047 --> 0:54:48.487
<v Speaker 2>Is that something that you often think about as you

0:54:48.527 --> 0:54:51.367
<v Speaker 2>watch your boys grow up, that like the shift? Yeah,

0:54:51.407 --> 0:54:51.847
<v Speaker 2>the shift?

0:54:51.927 --> 0:54:54.287
<v Speaker 3>Oh, the shift has happened with Gus. So I went

0:54:54.287 --> 0:54:56.967
<v Speaker 3>and saw him in Vienna earlier this year and I

0:54:57.127 --> 0:54:59.287
<v Speaker 3>was the one, you know, fumbling on the tram and.

0:54:59.207 --> 0:55:01.967
<v Speaker 1>Stuff like, oh where does this card go? What zone

0:55:02.007 --> 0:55:02.207
<v Speaker 1>are we?

0:55:02.287 --> 0:55:06.887
<v Speaker 3>And he's like oh, And it was the first time

0:55:07.607 --> 0:55:11.487
<v Speaker 3>really I had felt the switch. He was kind of like,

0:55:12.327 --> 0:55:15.727
<v Speaker 3>you know, mothering me, if you like, and you know what,

0:55:15.807 --> 0:55:18.167
<v Speaker 3>it felt great. It's like, you know what, I don't

0:55:18.207 --> 0:55:20.647
<v Speaker 3>have to be in control of this. He's actually he's

0:55:20.647 --> 0:55:23.127
<v Speaker 3>got my back. He's got my back, and he's the

0:55:23.167 --> 0:55:26.807
<v Speaker 3>one showing me around this city and doing the thing

0:55:27.007 --> 0:55:30.007
<v Speaker 3>and knowing how to operate the tram and everything.

0:55:29.847 --> 0:55:31.087
<v Speaker 1>And oh it felt great.

0:55:31.207 --> 0:55:33.167
<v Speaker 3>I just sat back and went mind it was still

0:55:33.167 --> 0:55:35.607
<v Speaker 3>my credit card, that it was.

0:55:35.567 --> 0:55:37.367
<v Speaker 1>My credit card that was getting pulled out.

0:55:37.527 --> 0:55:41.247
<v Speaker 3>Of course it was yeah, him, Mom, this is a

0:55:41.247 --> 0:55:43.127
<v Speaker 3>great new restaurant that I've heard about.

0:55:43.367 --> 0:55:46.567
<v Speaker 1>Really okay, oh, grall, this is great us whitch here?

0:55:46.727 --> 0:55:48.767
<v Speaker 3>I saw this on Insta and then yet yeah, here's

0:55:48.767 --> 0:55:51.967
<v Speaker 3>the bill and as it gets pushed towards it, I've.

0:55:51.807 --> 0:55:56.167
<v Speaker 2>Always wanted to go here. Yes, it's fabulous. How fabulous

0:55:56.207 --> 0:55:59.927
<v Speaker 2>is unbelievable? One last question about we really finished?

0:55:59.967 --> 0:56:02.007
<v Speaker 1>We are nearly finished. Well, I hope I haven't been

0:56:02.007 --> 0:56:04.007
<v Speaker 1>boring to your listeners.

0:56:04.327 --> 0:56:06.407
<v Speaker 2>You're so not boring, But I wanted to ask you

0:56:06.407 --> 0:56:08.207
<v Speaker 2>on my thing about your beautiful mom and a beautiful ring.

0:56:08.807 --> 0:56:12.847
<v Speaker 2>Do you feel like your life has been very different

0:56:13.047 --> 0:56:15.967
<v Speaker 2>like to her life? And do you think at this

0:56:16.047 --> 0:56:18.167
<v Speaker 2>point in your life that it's very different to hers?

0:56:18.207 --> 0:56:20.287
<v Speaker 2>And that beautiful post about the ring? You said they've

0:56:20.327 --> 0:56:23.887
<v Speaker 2>always put us first, They did everything for us. Do

0:56:24.007 --> 0:56:28.327
<v Speaker 2>you feel like you've been able to live more for you?

0:56:28.967 --> 0:56:32.167
<v Speaker 1>Wow, I've never really thought about that.

0:56:33.127 --> 0:56:36.087
<v Speaker 3>To think that mum led any sort of unfulfilled life

0:56:36.207 --> 0:56:40.127
<v Speaker 3>or whatever is not right. She has lived a very

0:56:40.287 --> 0:56:43.167
<v Speaker 3>full life and loves her family very much. Have I

0:56:43.407 --> 0:56:47.647
<v Speaker 3>done more things than Mum? Sure, I've traveled a lot more.

0:56:48.007 --> 0:56:51.727
<v Speaker 3>I've done seven Olympic Games for the seven Network, so

0:56:51.767 --> 0:56:54.087
<v Speaker 3>I've done more things. But at the end of the day,

0:56:54.327 --> 0:56:56.767
<v Speaker 3>is it the things that matter or is it the

0:56:56.767 --> 0:56:58.927
<v Speaker 3>way you lead your life and the people in it.

0:56:59.207 --> 0:57:02.487
<v Speaker 3>So I think Mum would say to you, Holly, that

0:57:02.607 --> 0:57:04.807
<v Speaker 3>she has led a very full life, she loves her

0:57:04.847 --> 0:57:09.807
<v Speaker 3>family and that she's very happy. And at the end

0:57:09.807 --> 0:57:12.927
<v Speaker 3>of the day, for me, it's not about what schools

0:57:12.967 --> 0:57:17.567
<v Speaker 3>the boys went to or what car I drive. That's

0:57:17.647 --> 0:57:19.807
<v Speaker 3>not what's going to define me. It's when I look

0:57:19.847 --> 0:57:24.647
<v Speaker 3>around and no, am I fulfilled? And that's how I

0:57:24.687 --> 0:57:27.247
<v Speaker 3>will judge whether my life has been successful or not.

0:57:27.647 --> 0:57:31.487
<v Speaker 3>It won't be about the awards or the ratings. It'll

0:57:31.487 --> 0:57:33.567
<v Speaker 3>be how I feel within myself and whether I feel

0:57:33.607 --> 0:57:36.927
<v Speaker 3>that my life has a fullness to it, which has

0:57:36.927 --> 0:57:40.127
<v Speaker 3>got to do with my heart and nothing to do

0:57:40.247 --> 0:57:42.127
<v Speaker 3>with a bank balance.

0:57:42.727 --> 0:57:43.327
<v Speaker 1>I guess.

0:57:44.007 --> 0:57:48.807
<v Speaker 3>So I've lived probably a different life in some respects,

0:57:48.807 --> 0:57:51.927
<v Speaker 3>but in some way I'm still that kid from Tamworth

0:57:52.647 --> 0:57:57.007
<v Speaker 3>who grew up in the weatherboard house which had one toilet,

0:57:57.567 --> 0:58:01.247
<v Speaker 3>one bathroom, and that's how I judged my life.

0:58:01.247 --> 0:58:04.967
<v Speaker 2>I think has your mum always really encouraged your I

0:58:04.967 --> 0:58:07.327
<v Speaker 2>mean I was asking you about whether your life is

0:58:07.367 --> 0:58:10.727
<v Speaker 2>really different to her as a new Harry rightly made

0:58:10.767 --> 0:58:14.447
<v Speaker 2>it very clear that there's no better or worse than

0:58:14.527 --> 0:58:17.207
<v Speaker 2>this or this, no like, the values are absolutely the same.

0:58:17.247 --> 0:58:19.647
<v Speaker 2>But I wonder if your mum was a big cheerleader

0:58:19.647 --> 0:58:22.807
<v Speaker 2>for you in your career and you chasing dreams and

0:58:22.847 --> 0:58:23.687
<v Speaker 2>all those things.

0:58:24.127 --> 0:58:26.407
<v Speaker 3>This was I think a pivotal moment in my life,

0:58:26.407 --> 0:58:29.487
<v Speaker 3>and it comes down to my mum. My husband had

0:58:29.527 --> 0:58:32.287
<v Speaker 3>been transferred to Sydney. I thought I better get a job.

0:58:32.327 --> 0:58:34.327
<v Speaker 3>I was working at the local TV station in Tamworth,

0:58:34.327 --> 0:58:36.807
<v Speaker 3>so I applied to Channel seven for a job. Chinese

0:58:36.847 --> 0:58:39.047
<v Speaker 3>transfer was called off and he had to stay in Tamworth.

0:58:39.167 --> 0:58:41.607
<v Speaker 3>But I got the job at Channel seven. So then

0:58:41.647 --> 0:58:42.487
<v Speaker 3>I'm in this quandary.

0:58:42.527 --> 0:58:43.047
<v Speaker 1>I was thinking.

0:58:43.087 --> 0:58:45.087
<v Speaker 3>I was twenty eight at that point. I was thinking,

0:58:45.127 --> 0:58:47.087
<v Speaker 3>if I don't take this job now at Channel seven,

0:58:47.167 --> 0:58:49.807
<v Speaker 3>I may never get to Sydney. But hang on, my

0:58:49.887 --> 0:58:52.007
<v Speaker 3>husband's transfers called off. He's going to be in Tamworth.

0:58:52.367 --> 0:58:54.007
<v Speaker 3>So I remember sitting with Mum, going, Mum, what am

0:58:54.047 --> 0:58:56.167
<v Speaker 3>I going to do? No, I want this job. It's

0:58:56.247 --> 0:58:59.287
<v Speaker 3>Channel seven. Tiny will end up in Sydney eventually, like

0:58:59.367 --> 0:59:03.007
<v Speaker 3>that's happening. It just got called off temporarily, and she said,

0:59:03.247 --> 0:59:05.247
<v Speaker 3>I'll never forget it. Was sitting on the bed We're

0:59:05.287 --> 0:59:07.847
<v Speaker 3>at my house and she said, Kylie, I think you

0:59:07.887 --> 0:59:10.847
<v Speaker 3>should take it a lot, But Mum, it means leaving

0:59:10.887 --> 0:59:13.367
<v Speaker 3>you and Dad in Tamworth. It means leaving Tony for

0:59:13.407 --> 0:59:17.367
<v Speaker 3>the time being. And she said, Kylie, you've always wanted

0:59:17.367 --> 0:59:19.407
<v Speaker 3>to work in Sydney. I really think you should. Now

0:59:19.447 --> 0:59:22.407
<v Speaker 3>looking back on it, I was actually quite surprised at

0:59:22.407 --> 0:59:25.047
<v Speaker 3>the time, thinking Mum wants me to go. Mum wants

0:59:25.087 --> 0:59:27.487
<v Speaker 3>me to leave Tamworth, but her and Dad are in Tamworth.

0:59:27.727 --> 0:59:29.527
<v Speaker 3>And now I can look back at it now, going

0:59:29.887 --> 0:59:33.847
<v Speaker 3>what an unselfish thing to do. She could have said, oh, Kylie,

0:59:34.007 --> 0:59:36.607
<v Speaker 3>Tiny's transfer has been called off. Why don't you stay.

0:59:36.967 --> 0:59:38.967
<v Speaker 3>Dad and I are here. We would have probably had

0:59:39.047 --> 0:59:41.447
<v Speaker 3>children a lot earlier, she would have had her grandkids

0:59:41.487 --> 0:59:44.087
<v Speaker 3>in Tamworth. But she sat there on that bed and

0:59:44.127 --> 0:59:46.727
<v Speaker 3>she encouraged me to take the job and I will

0:59:46.767 --> 0:59:49.887
<v Speaker 3>be eternally thankful for her because that changed the course

0:59:49.927 --> 0:59:52.567
<v Speaker 3>of my life and Tony's life. He ended up coming

0:59:52.567 --> 0:59:54.807
<v Speaker 3>to Sydney six months later, so we were only apart

0:59:54.807 --> 0:59:58.847
<v Speaker 3>for a little bit and we commuted. But how unselfish

0:59:58.887 --> 1:00:01.647
<v Speaker 3>was that? And like I can look back and go, wow, Mum,

1:00:01.647 --> 1:00:05.167
<v Speaker 3>what an unselfish thing you did, And isn't that wonderful?

1:00:05.207 --> 1:00:07.967
<v Speaker 2>It's very wonderful. It's also back to that quote about

1:00:07.967 --> 1:00:13.047
<v Speaker 2>your child's flight were be yours? Like your flight wasn't hers,

1:00:13.247 --> 1:00:16.047
<v Speaker 2>you know, and it took you away from her at times,

1:00:16.207 --> 1:00:17.887
<v Speaker 2>but she knew.

1:00:17.607 --> 1:00:20.567
<v Speaker 1>That you had to do that. Yeah, like fly and

1:00:20.647 --> 1:00:21.487
<v Speaker 1>chase your dream.

1:00:21.647 --> 1:00:23.927
<v Speaker 2>And I think that just brings us to where we

1:00:24.047 --> 1:00:27.167
<v Speaker 2>started about your values and what's important to you are

1:00:27.207 --> 1:00:31.567
<v Speaker 2>exactly those things. Family, connection, people around you and doing

1:00:31.607 --> 1:00:32.567
<v Speaker 2>something you love right.

1:00:32.767 --> 1:00:36.167
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, absolutely, Like if the television thing all ends tomorrow,

1:00:36.207 --> 1:00:40.727
<v Speaker 3>would I miss one hundred percent, but I'd cry about

1:00:40.767 --> 1:00:44.847
<v Speaker 3>the living friends behind, perhaps not leaving a profile behind,

1:00:44.887 --> 1:00:46.487
<v Speaker 3>so it would be always be about the people.

1:00:46.527 --> 1:00:48.327
<v Speaker 1>It's always got to be about the people.

1:00:48.847 --> 1:00:53.767
<v Speaker 3>I think. I'm sure that's beautiful. Thank you, Kyle, Well,

1:00:53.767 --> 1:00:54.727
<v Speaker 3>thank you for having me.

1:00:57.367 --> 1:00:57.687
<v Speaker 1>Mids.

1:00:57.847 --> 1:00:59.767
<v Speaker 2>I really hope you liked that conversation.

1:00:59.927 --> 1:01:00.687
<v Speaker 1>I really did.

1:01:01.007 --> 1:01:03.367
<v Speaker 2>You could probably hear that I got a bit emotional

1:01:03.447 --> 1:01:06.767
<v Speaker 2>talking to Kylie about her parents being separated from the

1:01:06.767 --> 1:01:09.247
<v Speaker 2>people you love as they become more vulnerable is something

1:01:09.447 --> 1:01:12.087
<v Speaker 2>close to my heart, obviously. But I know a lot

1:01:12.127 --> 1:01:14.887
<v Speaker 2>of you are figuring all that out too. If you've

1:01:14.887 --> 1:01:17.847
<v Speaker 2>lost a parent like Kylie has in her beautiful dad,

1:01:18.287 --> 1:01:20.367
<v Speaker 2>and you're trying to grapple with how to move through it,

1:01:20.567 --> 1:01:22.367
<v Speaker 2>I want to point you to an episode we made

1:01:22.367 --> 1:01:25.207
<v Speaker 2>in season one about grief and loss with an incredible woman,

1:01:25.767 --> 1:01:29.287
<v Speaker 2>one of those names you might not know, called Jackie Bailey.

1:01:29.607 --> 1:01:32.767
<v Speaker 2>It can be a really difficult time, as our relationships

1:01:32.767 --> 1:01:35.407
<v Speaker 2>with our parents aren't always simple and smiley, of course,

1:01:35.647 --> 1:01:40.727
<v Speaker 2>and she talks really beautifully about that. But also I

1:01:40.767 --> 1:01:43.567
<v Speaker 2>hope you detected a lot of joy in Kylie, a

1:01:43.647 --> 1:01:47.287
<v Speaker 2>woman who clearly loves what she does, loves her family fiercely,

1:01:47.687 --> 1:01:50.807
<v Speaker 2>and isn't slowing down as she moves through the shift.

1:01:51.447 --> 1:01:53.887
<v Speaker 2>Please tell me what you thought about the episode. We've

1:01:53.887 --> 1:01:56.447
<v Speaker 2>got an Instagram account mid by Mamma Mia. You can

1:01:56.487 --> 1:01:59.687
<v Speaker 2>follow and comment and we read absolutely everything you say there,

1:01:59.807 --> 1:02:02.047
<v Speaker 2>and also on my own account, of course, which is

1:02:02.567 --> 1:02:05.247
<v Speaker 2>with much hilarity from the gen zs in the office

1:02:05.447 --> 1:02:09.687
<v Speaker 2>at Wainwright Holly on Instagram. So listen your green, have

1:02:09.727 --> 1:02:11.927
<v Speaker 2>a great day, and I'll be waiting for you back

1:02:11.967 --> 1:02:15.087
<v Speaker 2>here next week when we're talking about money with a

1:02:15.207 --> 1:02:30.967
<v Speaker 2>very surprising guest. Goodbye,