Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mamma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2: Mamma Mere acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on Hello, and welcome to
Speaker 2: Mamma Mia out Loud and to our Friday's show where
Speaker 2: we take a break from the news cycle and we
Speaker 2: all exhale. Today is Friday, the second of August, about
Speaker 2: which I am not going to comment, And I am
Speaker 2: Holly Wainwright, I'm Mere.
Speaker 3: Friedman, and I'm Jesse Stevens.
Speaker 2: And on the show today, the Olympic village is full
Speaker 2: of losers in the nicest possible way. What can we
Speaker 2: learn about how to handle failure from the people who
Speaker 2: try the hardest. Plus, we're recommending a brand new fiction thriller.
Speaker 2: MIA's spotted a rising new talent, and Jesse's cooked something.
Speaker 3: Would we call it cooking?
Speaker 2: She wanted something up and she's recommending it to us.
Speaker 2: And in our best and Worse of the week, Jesse's
Speaker 2: strange stomach. MIA's house is full of estrogen again. And
Speaker 2: I had a feminist failure by the side of the road,
Speaker 2: but first me a freedman.
Speaker 1: In case you missed it, which you would have if
Speaker 1: you didn't listen to Monday's episode or you're not in
Speaker 1: the Outluders facebook group. There is a lot of debate
Speaker 1: about how to say the word gymnast.
Speaker 2: Jim nas gymnast.
Speaker 1: Is the a silent or is it emphasized?
Speaker 3: And I have heard commentators say it both ways. I
Speaker 3: have made the observation that the British seem to say
Speaker 3: gymnasts and the Americans seem to say gymnast.
Speaker 2: Babe? Is it gymnastics? Maybe if you're a key, we
Speaker 2: perhaps our fence QUEWI listeners. Maybe if you're a key,
Speaker 2: we perhaps it's gymnastics. But for most of us it's gymnastics.
Speaker 1: I don't agree. Do you know who would know? Shout
Speaker 1: out to out louder Trenor, whose son Jesse Moore is
Speaker 1: competing in the Games. Jesse is the only man in
Speaker 1: the artistic gymnastics men's situation representing Australia. So good on, Jesse.
Speaker 3: We have an out louder in the Olympics.
Speaker 1: We do anyway. We asked Trenor, who's right me or Jesse.
Speaker 1: Here's what she said, Hi, there, Mia, Holly and Jesse.
Speaker 3: I'm Trenor Moore, mother of Jesse Moore. Male gymnast and
Speaker 3: I hear your debating how to say gymnasts, Jesse.
Speaker 1: What do you think, Ah, I think it's gymnast with
Speaker 1: an AA. I don't think it's really a debate really,
Speaker 1: So then you've heard it from the gymnast himself.
Speaker 2: Do you know our out louder who won our books,
Speaker 2: our signed books because she's so lucky, because she was
Speaker 2: listening to us in the most interesting place, and she
Speaker 2: was listening to us in Antarctica with the penguins. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I asked her. She's called Sophie Counsel. I asked her
Speaker 2: because there was a picture of her in Antarctica with
Speaker 2: the penguins. I said, which of the hosts do the
Speaker 2: penguins agree with most often? Is it MEA? Is it Jesse?
Speaker 1: Is it me?
Speaker 2: And you know what she said? She said, the penguins
Speaker 2: would like to respectfully disagree with all of you and
Speaker 2: request more conversations about fish and we vero much.
Speaker 3: The story I can't stop thinking about this week concerns
Speaker 3: a man named Harry Garside. We watched him during what
Speaker 3: I reckon He might identify as one of the lowest
Speaker 3: moments of his life. Harry Garside is an Olympic boxer
Speaker 3: and in Tokyo he won a bronze medal, making him
Speaker 3: the first Australian to win a medal in boxing at
Speaker 3: the Olympics in more than thirty years. And this year
Speaker 3: Paris twenty twenty four was going to be his year.
Speaker 3: He wanted to be the first Australian to win an
Speaker 3: Olympic gold medal in boxing and he was in a
Speaker 3: very good position to win it. And then earlier this
Speaker 3: week he suffered a shocking defeat. This is what he
Speaker 3: said in a post match interview. Two decades dedicated to
Speaker 3: one dream, and it's over, just like that. The interviewer
Speaker 3: asked how he was feeling, and he said, I feel
Speaker 3: pretty numb right now. But I'm sure the next month
Speaker 3: or two will be quite challenging, quite hard. I fear
Speaker 3: that my mind will get the better of me. I
Speaker 3: feel like I've let myself down and I let a
Speaker 3: few people down. Mate. But what do you do? The
Speaker 3: interviewer asked a few more questions and he repeated that
Speaker 3: he was feeling like a failure right now and that
Speaker 3: he didn't even know what to say. He said, I
Speaker 3: know sportsmen are just meant to say the right things.
Speaker 3: But deep down inside, mate, I fear for what the
Speaker 3: next few months look like for myself. I'm sure there
Speaker 3: will be some dark times and I just have to
Speaker 3: prepare for that. Now. This is not the post match
Speaker 3: interview you usually hear. And he followed up with a
Speaker 3: post on his Instagram and here's what he said.
Speaker 4: Beating myself up for the past couple of hours and
Speaker 4: so forward, and had a couple of screams, a couple
Speaker 4: of cries, and then I went and got some food
Speaker 4: and I was eating a cookie, and I just had
Speaker 4: this realization that absolutely this sucks. Like we all hate failing,
Speaker 4: we all hate not succeeding, we all hate shooting for
Speaker 4: the stars and falling in our face.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, there's no genying that. But I had this realization
Speaker 5: that I went on a two decade journey to try
Speaker 5: and get that gold medal, and yes, I didn't get
Speaker 5: that gold medal, but I've become my own friend in
Speaker 5: that journey and being kind to myself.
Speaker 3: The side reminds us of is that there are more
Speaker 3: than ten thousand athletes inside that Olympic village, and most
Speaker 3: of those athletes will go home profoundly disappointed. They've trained
Speaker 3: their whole lives for a moment, and they probably lost.
Speaker 3: You don't get to that level without being fiercely competitive,
Speaker 3: and as much as we hear them say I'm just
Speaker 3: proud to be here and represent my country, the goal
Speaker 3: is to win. Did you find his words refreshing? Because
Speaker 3: I'm pretty confronting to listen to Holly, What did you think?
Speaker 2: I love that he said it. I particularly like that
Speaker 2: second quote where he said he felt better after he
Speaker 2: had eaten the cookie, because haven't we all been there.
Speaker 3: I thought the whole thing was going to be like
Speaker 3: and now I can eat cookies, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: but that wasn't the point.
Speaker 2: I think it's really refreshing anytime you hear sports people
Speaker 2: being honest, because in order to be as focused as
Speaker 2: they have to be to get to where they are,
Speaker 2: they follow very narrow scripts, which is why, as you said,
Speaker 2: this is not what they normally say. So anytime they're
Speaker 2: going to be really honest, I love it. It always
Speaker 2: absolutely kills me at the end of football games, big finals,
Speaker 2: where you'll see all the men fall to the floor
Speaker 2: and cry like, it kills me because I don't agree
Speaker 2: with you that every one of those ten thousand athletes
Speaker 2: will be devastated when they don't walk out with gold.
Speaker 2: Most of them won't even be expecting to, not near
Speaker 2: the right. So there are ten thousand athletes there, there
Speaker 2: are about a thousand medals, so the odds are you're
Speaker 2: not going to get one, and the favorite's going into
Speaker 2: every single sport. We know who they are. They're the
Speaker 2: people whose names we know. They're the ones going to
Speaker 2: win the medals. Most of the other ones we don't
Speaker 2: know their names. If we think that the only point
Speaker 2: of the Olympic Games or any sporting endeavor is to
Speaker 2: win gold, then what are all those other people doing there?
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to win gold?
Speaker 2: I don't agree with that. I think there's an enormous
Speaker 2: amount of importance about trying, about participating, about like I don't.
Speaker 2: I think you've got to be there because you love
Speaker 2: what you do. They're all not going to win gold
Speaker 2: and they all know it, right, so why are they
Speaker 2: bothering otherwise?
Speaker 1: I think there's what you know is likely, but there's
Speaker 1: always hope, right because there are always upsets. Look at
Speaker 1: Steve Bradbury in the Winter Olympics when literally everybody fell
Speaker 1: down and he won gold. That's what makes the Olympics
Speaker 1: exciting because you never know. It all does come down
Speaker 1: to how things happen in the day, and.
Speaker 2: The reason we all know his name is because that's
Speaker 2: happened so rarely.
Speaker 1: It happens so rarely. You're right, it does happen, so really,
Speaker 1: But my point is that it does happen. So everybody's
Speaker 1: got the hope that they're going to be either Simone
Speaker 1: Biles or Steve Bradbury or somewhere in the middle. Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody goes to the Olympics or any
Speaker 1: kind of competition or anything thinking that they won't win,
Speaker 1: or not trying to win and do their best and
Speaker 1: hoping beyond hope that somehow they'll be able to dig
Speaker 1: deep and pull something back.
Speaker 3: And in order to get there, they've won a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, every one of those ten thousand people, these are
Speaker 2: the best people in the world. And what they do.
Speaker 2: Focusing so intently only on the ones who went gold
Speaker 2: and saying everyone else there as a loser just entirely
Speaker 2: discounts why they're doing what they're doing.
Speaker 1: I disagree. Oh, I think they're doing it to win.
Speaker 1: I think that's what gets you through. That's what gets
Speaker 1: you through the inn early mornings, the pain, the sacrifice,
Speaker 1: the all of those things. The disappointments is that you've
Speaker 1: got this burning desire. You're not doing it for lolls.
Speaker 1: You want to win. You've got a hunger and a
Speaker 1: competitiveness that you and I, for example, don't have.
Speaker 3: And what we see as well is people who peak.
Speaker 3: And then there's always that decision, like saying Ian Thorpe,
Speaker 3: who competed in two thousand, right, And then there's a
Speaker 3: decision for anyone who's at the Ian thought level whether
Speaker 3: they go on to do another Olympics. And sometimes I
Speaker 3: go on and do another Olympics, and they have a
Speaker 3: Simone Bars experience, right, and they win gold again. And
Speaker 3: sometimes you watch someone who was top of their field
Speaker 3: now in the middle of their field, and you think
Speaker 3: even the winners have to experience fails. I like underdogs.
Speaker 2: I know I'm a bleeding heart, but I do like
Speaker 2: Simone Biles is amazing. But it's not even interesting to
Speaker 2: me that story because it's like, oh, she's amazing, She's
Speaker 2: gonna win.
Speaker 1: That's what's so ironic. She's come back in Paris as
Speaker 1: not quite an underdog, but pretty much ad and that
Speaker 1: was what was interesting about her dog because she said
Speaker 1: she was an underdog when she went to her first
Speaker 1: international competition, I think the world, when she was fifteen,
Speaker 1: and she said, every meet I've been to since, I've
Speaker 1: been expected to win. So she hasn't been an underdog
Speaker 1: since until now. Again where it's like she completely wiped
Speaker 1: the slate clean by what happened in Tokyo for herself
Speaker 1: as much as everybody else, and she almost got that
Speaker 1: redemption story that you're right, it wasn't boring anymore. That's
Speaker 1: why we got a docco about sim Biles and everyone
Speaker 1: was watching.
Speaker 2: Winning, winning, winning, gold, gold, gold, like me.
Speaker 3: I guess the question though, it was like, what do
Speaker 3: we watch rid the race finishes, The race finishes, We
Speaker 3: don't follow the people who came sick into the locker room.
Speaker 3: We watched the podium and then we watched the winner,
Speaker 3: and they don't get the interviews. And the one that
Speaker 3: generally gets the interview gets the sponsors is all over
Speaker 3: every poster. If you've been around airports lately, it's like
Speaker 3: Arian Tipmas her face is everywhere. Harry Garside, his face
Speaker 3: was everywhere, and it's because they were gold medal hopefuls, right,
Speaker 3: And I've really been thinking about what the village looks
Speaker 3: like for people who You're right, Holly, there are some
Speaker 3: who would have been happy to be in a heat
Speaker 3: because you know your personal best and all that, but
Speaker 3: there are a lot of people where there have been upsets.
Speaker 3: And strangely, around the same time as I saw this
Speaker 3: Harry Garside clip which has since gone viral, I opened
Speaker 3: a newsletter that I subscribed to by Kate Lever and
Speaker 3: the headline was what I Do when I'm Sad? And
Speaker 3: I clicked so fast because I'm always fascinated by this,
Speaker 3: and she wrote about putting on a playlist called Dramatic
Speaker 3: Girlies that has music from Taylor and Lana del Rey,
Speaker 3: or having a shower cry. I've been thinking, you know,
Speaker 3: we're talking about an Olympian. You've just lost, your dreams
Speaker 3: are shattered. What do you do? What do you two
Speaker 3: do when you're sad, when you've had like a shit
Speaker 3: day and when you're feeling like you're absolute lowest. What
Speaker 3: do you do?
Speaker 1: There's two ways to approach it. One is to lean
Speaker 1: into the sadness and just really go with it and
Speaker 1: play sad music. Have a shower. Cry music is the
Speaker 1: thing that will make me like it's almost like marinating
Speaker 1: in my sadness or turning up the volume in my sadness.
Speaker 1: Sometimes what sad music will do is let me access
Speaker 1: crying and my sadness more because I just I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to really feel it. Yeah, And then
Speaker 1: the other way is going, okay, how do I cheer
Speaker 1: myself up? And so they are two very different approaches
Speaker 1: to when you're feeling sad.
Speaker 3: And what do you do to cheer yourself up? I
Speaker 3: feel like I need to get myself out of a funk,
Speaker 3: like what do you do?
Speaker 1: I will go to Westfield I used to sadly I
Speaker 1: don't anymore. Going online never makes me feel happy, but
Speaker 1: I will because what I reach for is distraction and
Speaker 1: that's not necessarily the best thing, because sometimes the best
Speaker 1: way through sadness is through it, not around it or
Speaker 1: burrowing underneath it or trying to jump over it. You've
Speaker 1: just got to go through it. And I think that
Speaker 1: distraction will be my go to. I will often be
Speaker 1: with my dogs because there's something very sort of I
Speaker 1: don't know, Yeah, you can cry into a dog. Quite
Speaker 1: will being with Luna helps me a lot. I think
Speaker 1: about the spiritual rest of being around someone who just
Speaker 1: gives you pure joy. And I was going to say,
Speaker 1: because she doesn't need anything from me, but she needs
Speaker 1: so much because she's a baby. But it's like, you
Speaker 1: have to be very present. You can't be super self indulgent,
Speaker 1: or you can with your own baby, but when you're
Speaker 1: looking after someone else's.
Speaker 3: Baby, Holly, clearly Harry went and got a cookie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bless him. I'm totally but hard relate. Listen. I
Speaker 2: think about this a lot because I know you guys
Speaker 2: like to laugh at me for being like, of the
Speaker 2: three of us, I'm missus participation medal, right, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I think we should absolutely celebrate everybody who has worked
Speaker 2: that frickin' hard. I hate watching a football game when
Speaker 2: it's six nil and somebody's running away with it. I like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I like there's a lot of dignity and importance in
Speaker 2: trying hard. And one of the things that's hard about
Speaker 2: sport is the results are so binary. And I don't
Speaker 2: think it is an accident that a field that I'm
Speaker 2: in and that attracts me the most, it's much less binary.
Speaker 2: Like you can't really just win or lose at doing
Speaker 2: creative pursuits, right. I know that you can. There are
Speaker 2: awards and things, but it's so subjective. You know, this
Speaker 2: book's good because of this, but this one's also good
Speaker 2: because of that. I love the way that person does that.
Speaker 2: That TV shows great because blah blah. Like I'm not
Speaker 2: really just into winning winning, winning, It's not what motivates me.
Speaker 2: But I think that's because I don't see myself as
Speaker 2: a winner, whereas I think people who are hyper competitive
Speaker 2: always do. They see themselves as a person on the
Speaker 2: gold podium. I see myself bronze at best. That's fine,
Speaker 2: But the thing is, I.
Speaker 1: Think that makes you happier.
Speaker 2: But I've had some really big disappointments in my career
Speaker 2: where I have lost. I haven't lost an Olympic medal,
Speaker 2: but after my second book, I pretty much lost my
Speaker 2: publishing deal. I've had things I thought were going to
Speaker 2: be successful and they weren't. I've had all kinds of
Speaker 2: big setbacks like that, And it's really hard.
Speaker 1: If you thought the.
Speaker 2: Only value in doing what you do is that I'm
Speaker 2: going to get a gold medal for it, then there
Speaker 2: would be no point in doing it. I think that
Speaker 2: the growth and the important thing and the thing that
Speaker 2: we actually love about watching sport and athletes that we
Speaker 2: don't admit is we love seeing that. We love seeing
Speaker 2: the fact that, like, you know, the people who are
Speaker 2: getting up at four am and swimming every day, they
Speaker 2: might never win gold, but like the commitment to do
Speaker 2: that is astounding. And like so anyway, to my point
Speaker 2: is I do love a tryer, and I do I
Speaker 2: think there's lots of dignity and losing and I think
Speaker 2: there's no shame in silver, is what I'm saying. But
Speaker 2: what I do when I've had those kind of setbacks
Speaker 2: and they've been significant, is I retreat when I'm really upset.
Speaker 2: I retreat every time, Like I remember getting a phone
Speaker 2: call that gave me very bad professional news, and I
Speaker 2: will put on a brave face and get through the day,
Speaker 2: and then I will retreat.
Speaker 3: And I got And when I say retreat, do you
Speaker 3: retreat to your family or away from your family too?
Speaker 3: Like do you like being completely on your own for
Speaker 3: a little bit to plays?
Speaker 2: And I might reach out to somebody surprising who is
Speaker 2: going to tell me me, like for advice, but not
Speaker 2: necessarily someone who's just going to tell me it's all
Speaker 2: going to be great and you're amazing. Sometimes in my life,
Speaker 2: I've definitely reached for unhealthy ways to deal with feeling
Speaker 2: sad or losing. Definitely jumped into a big glass of
Speaker 2: wine on occasion, Definitely eaten too much chocolate on occasion,
Speaker 2: Definitely taken it out on my other half, like I'm
Speaker 2: not some kind of post a child for.
Speaker 3: I agree with Holly that there's something that happens when
Speaker 3: you try your absolute hardest at something, regardless of the outcome.
Speaker 3: There is some self esteem, which is what I think
Speaker 3: he realized in that second clip. Doesn't mean that the
Speaker 3: loss is any less hard, because you know it's a loss,
Speaker 3: and there's disappointment and you can hope and all of that.
Speaker 3: Even the winners lose, Like there's no such thing as
Speaker 3: someone who just wins, even though it can look that
Speaker 3: way regardless of the result. There's been points in my
Speaker 3: life where I've gone, oh, I've worked really hard at this,
Speaker 3: but I have experienced the same those like monumental failures.
Speaker 3: And what he spoke to in that clip that I
Speaker 3: resonated with was a real sense of shame, Like I
Speaker 3: felt embarrassment.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent, and that's why I retreat right, Yes,
Speaker 2: And it's interesting because do you ever look at and
Speaker 2: I'm going to get their names wrong, but the two
Speaker 2: swimmers who won gold and silver earlier this week, who
Speaker 2: were like best friend and training partner, Marianne and Molly,
Speaker 2: but it changed the order that everyone was expecting. When
Speaker 2: Molly asked Arianne to come and stand on the gold
Speaker 2: podium with her, she looked a little bit uncomfortable about doing.
Speaker 1: It, but she did it.
Speaker 2: If there's any embarrassment there, it wouldn't have been for
Speaker 2: her and her performance. But it's what she thinks other
Speaker 2: people are thinking that she's thinking, do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Yes, she must be so embarrassed.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean exactly right, And it's like
Speaker 3: you feel as though that's being projected. And what I
Speaker 3: respect so much about Harry Garside, right, in order to
Speaker 3: go to the Olympics and in order to be that hungry,
Speaker 3: and he posted something before he went and he's like,
Speaker 3: I'm there to win a gold medal, Like, that's what
Speaker 3: I'm doing. You are putting yourself out there to be
Speaker 3: as touchwood to go. I am trying the hardest I
Speaker 3: can possibly try and if I failed failed vulnerable you
Speaker 3: know I tried, whereas the easiest thing and the less
Speaker 3: courageous thing is to not try. And I know we're
Speaker 3: in this moment now where it's like talk about it.
Speaker 3: You've got to talk about it. You've got to talk
Speaker 3: about it. Call someone and don't be alone. There was
Speaker 3: this research that came out recently that Emily Vernon wrote
Speaker 3: about from Mamma Mayor about how when something really awful
Speaker 3: happens to women, often they don't tell their immediate friends
Speaker 3: about it, even though they have this intimacy and they've
Speaker 3: probably had fourteen conversations, they haven't brought it up. And
Speaker 3: I think it's intentional, because I think distraction is.
Speaker 1: About when you tell someone it's real. When you're a link,
Speaker 1: there's no option with that. Listening to harrogasaid, I was
Speaker 1: thinking about the public nature of not meeting your goals
Speaker 1: in the most public forum imaginable, and I was thinking
Speaker 1: that sometimes, because you know, we're talking about what I do,
Speaker 1: and I'm sad, that's kind of very different to when
Speaker 1: there's a definitive point of a working towards maybe for
Speaker 1: four years, maybe for twenty years, I didn't get the
Speaker 1: result that I wanted, and I know that that is
Speaker 1: the end of my road. Like he said, he's done,
Speaker 1: like he can't keep he won't be able to compete
Speaker 1: at the next Olympics. So he might be able to
Speaker 1: reach other goals, but the goal of an Olympic gold
Speaker 1: is forever gone. And that idea of a definitive end
Speaker 1: point to a dream. I don't know whether that's more
Speaker 1: or less cruel than when a dream peters out slowly.
Speaker 1: And I was thinking about in real life when that
Speaker 1: happens for regular people, like perhaps realizing that you won't
Speaker 1: be able to conceive a child yourself, or when a
Speaker 1: marriage ends, or when someone you love dies or someone
Speaker 1: you're estranged frum dies and you realize there will be
Speaker 1: no reconciliation or you will not be able to correct
Speaker 1: whatever it was. If it's a parent that you had
Speaker 1: a terrible relationship with, and it's like the dream of
Speaker 1: them being the parent that I always hope that might
Speaker 1: become even as an adult that's gone, that can't happen anymore.
Speaker 1: It's almost like about mourning the past because it's all
Speaker 1: the time you'd spent dreaming, but also mourning the future.
Speaker 1: Because there will never be a time when it is fixed.
Speaker 1: There will never be a time when you feel complete
Speaker 1: in the way that you thought you had to. And
Speaker 1: then you look at people who just want to be
Speaker 1: you know, I wrote in my book Strife about this
Speaker 1: friend of mine who was joking that she was going
Speaker 1: to write a book called fuck Your Dreams for young people,
Speaker 1: and it was around the time of like Idle, and
Speaker 1: it was like, just chase your dream if you want
Speaker 1: it enough. No, if you want it enough, you probably
Speaker 1: still won't get it. So when do you stop trying
Speaker 1: If you want to be an actor and you just
Speaker 1: can't get that break or a singer, or a break
Speaker 1: into a particular industry and you can't get that job, Like,
Speaker 1: at what point do you just go? You know what,
Speaker 1: I'm going to draw a line on.
Speaker 2: The pre At what point do you move your goalposts
Speaker 2: of success?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: Because you could be an actor, but you might not
Speaker 2: ever be an aol you know, like whose name is
Speaker 2: above the theater and is on the but you might
Speaker 2: make some portion of a living appearing in ads here
Speaker 2: and they're doing local theater whatever. So that's the thing
Speaker 2: about the idea of do you love what you do?
Speaker 2: And you just want to do it or do you
Speaker 2: have very specific goals to achieve the thing?
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 2: I recently interviewed Leanne Murriarti for mid and I went
Speaker 2: back and listened to an interview that you had done
Speaker 2: with Hermia for No Filter ages ago. And obviously she
Speaker 2: is like the pinnacle of commercial fiction success, right, And
Speaker 2: you asked her a question about whether or not now
Speaker 2: when a book comes out, She's like, you know, and
Speaker 2: she was like, no, because once you debuted at number
Speaker 2: one on the New York Times bestseller list, which is
Speaker 2: something that obviously got quite related to. But hey, every
Speaker 2: book then has to come out and number one on
Speaker 2: the New York Times bestseller list. Or everybody pulls that
Speaker 2: face at you that they pulling on the couch when
Speaker 2: they're watching Arianne Tipmas do something amazing and win a
Speaker 2: silver but it's not a gold and they're pulling the
Speaker 2: face like oh, and so it's that thing that don't
Speaker 2: all the really successful sport coaches, the Bencrow people of
Speaker 2: the world say You've got to fall in love with
Speaker 2: the process and the results will come. It's like yeah, but.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also and you have to fall in love
Speaker 3: with the process because even if you win the gold medal,
Speaker 3: it's still not going to be enough to justify all
Speaker 3: of that training. You're going to have wanted to love
Speaker 3: the process. But it was my point is at what
Speaker 3: point do you give up? Yeah, because you know, it's
Speaker 3: like now with reproductive technology, for example, it used to
Speaker 3: be you try to have a baby until you're over
Speaker 3: is packed in and then you went, okay, I can't.
Speaker 3: Now it's like, well, there's so many options. Of course
Speaker 3: they cost money, but you could do this, you could
Speaker 3: do that, you could do it. And it's like is that.
Speaker 1: Good or is it actually in some ways cruel to
Speaker 1: keep the hope alive or is it better because it
Speaker 1: just means you have to readjust and go, Okay, maybe
Speaker 1: I won't be able to have my biological child, but
Speaker 1: I could still find another way. Maybe I'll foster a child.
Speaker 1: Maybe you know, like you said about moving the gold.
Speaker 3: Posts, it's like the sunk cost foul, which is that
Speaker 3: I've been trying at this thing for ages and ages
Speaker 3: and ages, say, being an actor, and I'm probably not
Speaker 3: going to get there. To let go of that feels
Speaker 3: like to let go of all the hard work you've done.
Speaker 3: You don't want to waste all of that. So you
Speaker 3: keep going, you keep going, you keep going. And what's
Speaker 3: on the other side of trying for conception or Harry
Speaker 3: Garside or whatever, is that the big job to do
Speaker 3: the next day is identity creation, because it's like who
Speaker 3: am I? When I wake up? Even after a gold medal,
Speaker 3: it's like, who am I?
Speaker 1: If I not trying to go, that's so much better
Speaker 1: than me. I was talking about the future. But you're right.
Speaker 1: It's a bad identity, isn't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you go, I now have to start from
Speaker 3: the bottom. And I've had moments of these in my
Speaker 3: life and you're talking about retreating, and I keep this
Speaker 3: journal I'm not a journaler. I don't normally journal, but
Speaker 3: I all these moments of crossroads. I sit down and
Speaker 3: I run, and there are nuggets in that that I
Speaker 3: look back on and I'm like, oh wow, I could
Speaker 3: see something then, right, And like that's something that I've helped.
Speaker 3: I like that moved me through things like let's I've
Speaker 3: had an enormous failure and I've just felt like I've
Speaker 3: got some really uncomfortable feelings. I don't know what to
Speaker 3: do with it. I don't like just sitting still, so
Speaker 3: all right, and I'll uncover why that felt like a failure.
Speaker 3: Maybe what the thing I was actually aiming for is
Speaker 3: and hidden in that it's not immediate, but hidden in
Speaker 3: that is actually what I'm looking towards, or actually what
Speaker 3: I want. I find that helpful.
Speaker 2: Do you think, because we've taught before about people who
Speaker 2: are really goal oriented and people who aren't, if you
Speaker 2: are hyper goal oriented and you are as you say, Mia,
Speaker 2: you have to realize that your dream is unattainable. Do
Speaker 2: you think you have to swap it for another dream?
Speaker 2: You know, like the idea of how you get over
Speaker 2: a breakup is like get under another one, that kind
Speaker 2: of thing. Do you think that if that is your thing?
Speaker 2: Like if it was like I am going to win
Speaker 2: an oscar and then it becomes apparent that you're probably
Speaker 2: not going to you Mike Michelle yo one one, Like
Speaker 2: the sixties people were like that, you have to swap
Speaker 2: it for something else. Okay, I'm going to kayak across
Speaker 2: to New Zealand, Like I don't know, do you think
Speaker 2: that there are some personality types who need to chase
Speaker 2: I need to chase.
Speaker 1: I get over failure pretty quickly, though, I think.
Speaker 3: I didn't see your memory.
Speaker 1: I think you're right. I don't remember, don't forget it.
Speaker 1: I think it's true. I'm like, oh, that feels bad.
Speaker 3: Okay, next, Wait, what did I fail at?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And it's like I'm just next, next, next, which is
Speaker 1: exhausting in a different way. But you're right, hole, I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about what you said about how I'm very leaderboard.
Speaker 1: It helps me organize things, and it also I do
Speaker 1: see myself on the podium, not because I think I
Speaker 1: deserve to be there, but because that's what success looks
Speaker 1: like to me. And if I'm not there, then I
Speaker 1: feel shit. I'm not like I gave it a good
Speaker 1: old try. And I don't think you are either.
Speaker 2: I think you would like to think I always say
Speaker 2: I'm not competitive. It's not true, right, I am like
Speaker 2: and I'm ambitious and I'm driven right, no question, yes,
Speaker 2: Because if I was like, I wouldn't be sitting at
Speaker 2: this table with you people, because this is a hard
Speaker 2: seat to fill. But one of the things that doesn't
Speaker 2: sit well with me, and it's going to make me
Speaker 2: sound like a wanker to say it, is that leader
Speaker 2: boards mean that you think everybody else on the leader
Speaker 2: board is not as good as you, and I always
Speaker 2: think that a lot of people are a lot better
Speaker 2: than me, which is a self esteem and selfish thing, right.
Speaker 2: So if I'm like I have to be the best,
Speaker 2: that means that I have to assume that then the
Speaker 2: people underneath me and I just don't see the world
Speaker 2: like that. I think we've all got a lot of
Speaker 2: different things to bring. And it's interesting because so my
Speaker 2: daughter is really spawedy. It's the way in which she
Speaker 2: is least like me. I have never been sporty, and
Speaker 2: she absolutely loves it, and she isn't necessarily. She won't
Speaker 2: like me saying this, but she doesn't. She isn't necessarily
Speaker 2: the best player on her AFL team. There are some
Speaker 2: girls on that team who are so naturally talented and
Speaker 2: who can kick a ball like you wouldn't believe it,
Speaker 2: so precision, and they work very hard, and she works
Speaker 2: really hard, and she's probably never going to be that person,
Speaker 2: but she loves it, right, love loves it. If the
Speaker 2: only aim is to always be the best, does that
Speaker 2: mean that you should go I should give up because
Speaker 2: I'm never going to be that person. Do you know
Speaker 2: what I mean?
Speaker 1: Do you like doing things that you're not really good
Speaker 1: at or don't have the potential to be really good at. No,
Speaker 1: I've got a friend who is I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I've got a friend who's one of the best in Australia,
Speaker 1: if not the world at what she does. And she's
Speaker 1: just about a year ago took up an instrument, which
Speaker 1: was really random, like just why who starts playing an
Speaker 1: instrument in their fifties. She was like, I've mastered that
Speaker 1: other thing. I know that I'm good at it, like
Speaker 1: I know that I am one of the best in Australia,
Speaker 1: if not the world. But it's actually very humbling, not
Speaker 1: in a I need to be more humble. It's more
Speaker 1: she's liking not being good at something because you can
Speaker 1: only once you your master. It's something you incrementally improving.
Speaker 1: But she's starting at the absolute baseline, and she says
Speaker 1: it's exercising her brain and her competitiveness in a way
Speaker 1: that it hasn't been for a really long time.
Speaker 2: I do like trying new things, like I'm then getting
Speaker 2: into it and yeah, I don't know. It's interesting because
Speaker 2: I think is it true that if I'm very leaderboard
Speaker 2: focused that I think everyone else is a loser.
Speaker 1: Well, typically that's not what I think. It's more just
Speaker 1: that I think I'm a loser, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2: It's like, so we're all looking at our own Yes,
Speaker 2: I have.
Speaker 1: One standard for me, and then I think everybody else
Speaker 1: is great. Kind of thing.
Speaker 3: I want to know about out louders and moments of
Speaker 3: failure because that's why the Olympics resonates, So that's why
Speaker 3: we all watch it. That's why there are stories everywhere,
Speaker 3: is because there is something about winning and losing that
Speaker 3: is universal. And I want to know out louders who
Speaker 3: have had an enormous failure, like what did you do next?
Speaker 3: What's the plan? How did you get yourself out of
Speaker 3: a funk? I would love to hear join us in
Speaker 3: the out Louders Facebook.
Speaker 2: Hell, it's Friday, so we are recommending things that you
Speaker 2: can do and eat and watch this weekend. I think
Speaker 2: that Maya should go first because she's on this like
Speaker 2: little known new talent that I think we should all
Speaker 2: get on board with. Mia, what's your recommendation this week?
Speaker 1: I was on Instagram on the weekend and I stumbled
Speaker 1: across Hamish Blake's stories and he was making a birthday cake?
Speaker 3: What he makes a birthday cake.
Speaker 1: He does this thing for his two kids on their birthdays,
Speaker 1: where they can say whenever they want, he makes a
Speaker 1: birthday cake. He does it through the night with whiskey
Speaker 1: some form of alcohol, and he turns it into an
Speaker 1: Instagram story sort of live doesn't live stream it, but
Speaker 1: make stories. She need me to explain it more.
Speaker 2: Why are you recommending it? Because the thing is is
Speaker 2: that we've discussed this on this show before.
Speaker 1: I think he's been doing it for ten years.
Speaker 2: Some women don't like it because they're like, why does
Speaker 2: this guy get all the accolades from making the cakes.
Speaker 2: I've always said, I think we need to encourage the man.
Speaker 3: Who gets funny. I think it's like mated. I love Hamish.
Speaker 2: Other people say to me, who cleans up all that mess?
Speaker 1: I think it's one of those Why do you?
Speaker 2: Why have you? Why did it resonate with you?
Speaker 1: Two recommendations. One is the actual watching of it, and
Speaker 1: he saved it on his highlight. This year's daughter wanted
Speaker 1: him to make a cake with in the faces of
Speaker 1: his two cats. They've got those squashy faced cats. A
Speaker 1: piece of cake, pieces of cake. I like watching baking.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I've been resistant to it. So
Speaker 1: one is to actually go and watch it because it's
Speaker 1: just entertaining, and the other thing is having a more
Speaker 1: open mind because I always really liked Hamish. I know
Speaker 1: Hamish personally a little bit, and I think he's a
Speaker 1: delight and he's the same off camera as he's on camera.
Speaker 1: But when we've discussed this and I know this phenomenon
Speaker 1: and this polarization around Hamish Blake's cakes, and mostly it's
Speaker 1: just a bit of a good time and he does
Speaker 1: it for his kids and it also makes a lot
Speaker 1: of other people really happy. He's just very basic in
Speaker 1: that way and very generous and it's lovely. But the
Speaker 1: thing about a whyder men get so many accolades and
Speaker 1: women just have to do it without applause. And I
Speaker 1: guess I've been a bit bar humbug about it. And
Speaker 1: then you actually watch and I think it's one of
Speaker 1: those things that the internet has. So often we'll read
Speaker 1: an opinion or hear an opinion about something without or
Speaker 1: before we've even looked at the actual thing and made
Speaker 1: up our own mind. It was a good reminder to
Speaker 1: not do that.
Speaker 3: The Internet reminds me of high school when someone whispers
Speaker 3: in your ear, like.
Speaker 1: Don't you think that me is a bit blah?
Speaker 3: And then you start noticing this thing about Mayor that
Speaker 3: you never would have known, and it's like, I actually
Speaker 3: don't even think that.
Speaker 1: And it's also just like this is so funny because
Speaker 1: this is our show. But like, do we have to
Speaker 1: have a hot take on Amy?
Speaker 3: You say yes, part of.
Speaker 2: I think the hot takes on Hamish black cakes like
Speaker 2: five years old. I love them too. I'm very much
Speaker 2: on board with you. Like I don't always watch it depends,
Speaker 2: but like he's just a joy to watch, and I
Speaker 2: like his.
Speaker 1: I'm now going to go back and watch all the others.
Speaker 1: And it was really interesting the precision with which he
Speaker 1: does it. He's got all these instruments. I'm sure it
Speaker 1: didn't start off this technical, but he's got like he
Speaker 1: does his black gloves, and it's just funny him and
Speaker 1: his mate and.
Speaker 3: It's just you know what this actually ties into the
Speaker 3: last segment. I have heard Hamish interviewed because you know
Speaker 3: people you just want to hear interviewed, and you think
Speaker 3: maybe I'll be more like you if I just hear
Speaker 3: you talking he's a delight. He says that there is
Speaker 3: something innately funny about trying really really hard at things,
Speaker 3: that enthusiasm is infectious, and that that's actually funny because
Speaker 3: a lot of us are like you kind of like
Speaker 3: the cake thing, right, you could do like a half
Speaker 3: fast job. What makes it great is how hard he's trying.
Speaker 3: That's what life is about, is just giving yourself one
Speaker 3: hundred percent, which is what we were.
Speaker 1: Just talking about, the vulnerability and the humor in trying
Speaker 1: really hard even if you're shit at it, and it's
Speaker 1: very much not shit. Did he start out shit?
Speaker 2: He definitely got better, definitely got better and very ambitious,
Speaker 2: like very ambitious in the cake mate the stuff.
Speaker 1: Where if my kids said that to me, I'd just
Speaker 1: start crying and run away, like I couldn't. I don't
Speaker 1: bake birthday anyway. If you want to have a look
Speaker 1: at it, it's on Hamish Blake shots on Instagram. He's
Speaker 1: got it in his highlights.
Speaker 2: I'm going to go next. I'm recommending a book. It's
Speaker 2: a brand new book, and I think you've read.
Speaker 1: It too, Jesse.
Speaker 3: I have, and I hadn't recommended it yet because it
Speaker 3: hadn't been really I think it just came out yesterday
Speaker 3: in fact or this week, and it's called Girl Falling
Speaker 3: and it's by Hayley Scrivenat. Now if that name rings
Speaker 3: a bell with you, it might be because you read
Speaker 3: her first novel, which was called Dirt Town.
Speaker 1: Oh. I love that so good.
Speaker 2: It won loads of what's speaking of competitions for creative pursuits.
Speaker 2: She is a gold medalist because far out that book was.
Speaker 1: Do you feel a bit shit? But it sucks?
Speaker 3: Because's actual really nice and listened to her speak because
Speaker 3: I've been like, how do I be more like you?
Speaker 1: That was great. I assume it's being made really good.
Speaker 2: Anyway. Her second book is quite different. I think it's
Speaker 2: pretty different, really different, right, And it's really interesting because
Speaker 2: it's set in the Blue Mountains, which is in New
Speaker 2: South Wales outside of Sydney, and it's very famous for
Speaker 2: rock climbing, right, And it's about these two best friends
Speaker 2: really who grew up around there and who are rock climbers.
Speaker 2: And then one day they go climbing with one of
Speaker 2: the best friend's newish girlfriend and she falls to her death.
Speaker 2: The newest girlfriend falls.
Speaker 1: To her death.
Speaker 2: That's how the book opens. So no spoilers there, right,
Speaker 2: and then the rest of the book obviously is sort
Speaker 2: of unpacking what happened, what happened that day, what happened
Speaker 2: in their past, what happened to get these three women
Speaker 2: to that place at that time, the friendship between the
Speaker 2: two women.
Speaker 1: Similar to Dirt Town in that it starts with a
Speaker 1: murder or a dead body that was more of a crime.
Speaker 2: I mean, it wasn't a crime procedural, but it was
Speaker 2: a crime book. I mean, obviously this is a crime,
Speaker 2: but it's not really a crime book. But that's not how.
Speaker 3: I've And it's very centered. Like Haley Scribner in her
Speaker 3: first book, which was really cool, was like she had
Speaker 3: this subplot about like a queer love story, and that's
Speaker 3: what this is as well. Like it's exploring that in
Speaker 3: Australian context, which you do not see that often.
Speaker 1: And she does a great plot.
Speaker 2: Interestingly, and she.
Speaker 1: Young, is she old? What's her vibe?
Speaker 2: She's young, youngish, she's really nice. She lives in Wollongong
Speaker 2: down my way. She's really really great. Anyway, I'm really
Speaker 2: recommending it. It's called Girl Falling. It's really dramatic. It's
Speaker 2: a page turner, but also she's literary, like, it's beautifully written,
Speaker 2: she's great read it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's one of those endings that just ten out
Speaker 3: of ten does not let you down. I am recommending
Speaker 3: Aldi spannicoptera.
Speaker 2: You are speaking my language, yep.
Speaker 3: So we have been doing our Aldi shop. I think
Speaker 3: once a quarter I throw in an Aldi recommendation. The
Speaker 3: last one was the very cheap dishwasher tablets. Today is
Speaker 3: the spanic Coppeta. It's about nine dollars. I was trying
Speaker 3: to find out online. I think it's about that wow.
Speaker 1: And I saw it on an ad the other day
Speaker 1: after you mentioned it to me. Luca mentioned it. I
Speaker 1: saw it on an ad.
Speaker 3: Go to our Can you explain it?
Speaker 1: Because I haven't eaten one?
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. Marriage'll change your life. So it's like,
Speaker 3: you know about.
Speaker 1: Four or five nights.
Speaker 2: You do, you absolutely do.
Speaker 3: So it's got like spinach and fetter in it, and
Speaker 3: it's like a twirly thing.
Speaker 2: A spana copta is a Greek pastry. You're aware of this, right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: pastry with fetta and spinach in it's yeah, it's really
Speaker 2: freaking You can make them yourself. But why would you
Speaker 2: when Aaldi make such a good one you.
Speaker 3: Chuck at the oven. They are obnoxiously massive, and they
Speaker 3: are perfect for like if you are going somewhere and
Speaker 3: someone says something stupid like bring a plate. That happened
Speaker 3: to me recently and I brought course cuss and that
Speaker 3: was not what they meant. Can you just get me some? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'll get you some. And I'm worried, I said to Luca,
Speaker 3: I don't want to recommend this because next time I go,
Speaker 3: there's not going to be any left. I got a
Speaker 3: particular time during the week because it bloody cells out.
Speaker 1: I've heard it's quite fatal.
Speaker 3: It's really famous.
Speaker 2: They're so famous. Aldi is as we know, like some
Speaker 2: of the things at Aldi have cult status. This is
Speaker 2: one of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's brilliant. Span a copata. We have it with
Speaker 3: rose veggies or a salad, and then I have it
Speaker 3: with Suzeki as well, and it's so good. For links
Speaker 3: to all our recommendations, make sure you sign up to
Speaker 3: the Mummere out Loud newsletter. It is written by our friends.
Speaker 3: There will be a link in the show notes. Really
Speaker 3: new edit it.
Speaker 1: No, I don't anymore, don't you know? I said it's
Speaker 1: really good. I'm really good.
Speaker 3: It's really good because m writes it. I said, you
Speaker 3: edit it.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't even edit it anymore. Okay, but I did.
Speaker 1: But anyway, Ruth's still never mind. Just sign up for
Speaker 1: it outlad has gone do us as solid? Do you
Speaker 1: want daily outloud access? Why wouldn't you? We drop episodes
Speaker 1: every Tuesday and Thursday exclusively for Mum and me are subscribers.
Speaker 1: The link in the show notes to get us in
Speaker 1: your ears five days a week, and a huge thank
Speaker 1: you if you're already a subscriber. It's time for Best
Speaker 1: and Worst, the part of the show where we share
Speaker 1: a little more from our personal lives, because don't you
Speaker 1: want to all hear more? Holly, what was your worst
Speaker 1: of the week?
Speaker 2: Speaking about trying hard at things? A while ago, I
Speaker 2: told you that there was a rat in my vegetables
Speaker 2: at my house than you very upsetting me. You guys
Speaker 2: have blanked it out because it had gardening, and I understand,
Speaker 2: not your thing.
Speaker 1: I've got a rat or a mouse in my house
Speaker 1: because I went and tried to get some bread the
Speaker 1: other day and there was a little hole that had
Speaker 1: been burrowed into the plastic that the bread comes in.
Speaker 1: And there was some of the bread missing.
Speaker 3: That's disgusting. What do you do to get build?
Speaker 2: Thought it had gone I thought it had gone away,
Speaker 2: and so I planted some things. They disappeared again, so it.
Speaker 1: Was still that right.
Speaker 2: So I am very proud of myself because on Saturday
Speaker 2: afternoon I went and I got chicken wire, and I
Speaker 2: got wooden steaks, and I built myself like with my
Speaker 2: own bare hands. I've got the scratches and stuff to
Speaker 2: prove it, a cover to go over the veggie bed.
Speaker 1: I thought there was sex injuries.
Speaker 3: That is so satisfying to be something with you, hair.
Speaker 2: I was so proud of myself. I had to cut
Speaker 2: up the wire. I had to well. Actually I got
Speaker 2: Brent to saw the steaks in half. But we won't
Speaker 2: dwell on that. I built it, I made it all.
Speaker 2: I was so proud of myself, and I thought, I'm
Speaker 2: going to put some of my cabbage seedlings that I've
Speaker 2: been like lovingly bloody bringing up from nothing in there,
Speaker 2: going to put some in. Put my cage in. That
Speaker 2: rat doesn't stand a chance. Next morning, seedling's gone. Rat
Speaker 2: night one looked at my cage and went, how did
Speaker 2: it get in?
Speaker 1: I don't know. It wasn't obvious, probably buried underneath.
Speaker 2: It's either bred underneath it, or I'd left a gap
Speaker 2: or what lots of people said. Because I put it
Speaker 2: on my socials, the holes and the chicken wire too,
Speaker 2: I understand how the Olympians feel when you try really
Speaker 2: hard at something. And yeah, anyway, that was my worst.
Speaker 2: My best was right on Sunday. I'm taking Billy somewhere
Speaker 2: and we're driving down a country road near our house,
Speaker 2: and I mean, we've got the car that I drive
Speaker 2: all the time, and then we've got a really really
Speaker 2: crappy car. Still haven't brought a new car here. I'm
Speaker 2: still doing a really crappy little car. I was driving
Speaker 2: that and I'm on this road and this guy behind
Speaker 2: me keeps trying to drive really close to me, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, what's wrong with that guy? I'm saying to Billy,
Speaker 2: what's wrong with that guy? And then I'm like, God,
Speaker 2: the car feels funny, and what's that funny noise and whatever?
Speaker 2: And then he starts flashing his lights and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: and when he comes alongside me and he goes, look
Speaker 2: at your tire, and so I pull over to the
Speaker 2: side of the road and I get out and one
Speaker 2: of my tires is completely shredded, like not just flat,
Speaker 2: but like shredded. I'm driving on the rim like it's bad.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you know this about me, but
Speaker 2: I'm the face of.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've known that.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, can't you just like open
Speaker 1: the window and go bub Jane and don't tires drop
Speaker 1: from the sky magically.
Speaker 2: So one of the really fun jobs I've been doing
Speaker 2: this year is doing this content work with Bob jen TM.
Speaker 2: It's about tire and it's been great. And one of
Speaker 2: the things that I learned was how to change a
Speaker 2: flat tire. So this guy who pulls me over, he goes,
Speaker 2: do you want me to help you? And I was
Speaker 2: confident and I said, no, I am going to change
Speaker 2: this tire myself because I know how. And I got
Speaker 2: my phone out and I Google and my video of
Speaker 2: me changing the tire, and I reckon, I can teach
Speaker 2: myself how to change this time.
Speaker 1: I'm watching myself change this tire.
Speaker 2: Anyway, it turns out that yes, I can change a
Speaker 2: tire like cousin, I know how to do it. The
Speaker 2: video and Bob is really good. This isn't at for them,
Speaker 2: by the way, but it's still really hard.
Speaker 3: It's really like thet.
Speaker 2: Is the nuts on the tire are really hard to undo,
Speaker 2: and so you kind of have to stand on the
Speaker 2: spaniard And so there I am. But Billy is with me, and.
Speaker 3: He's just like what, I love Billy, But do I
Speaker 3: think he'd be particularly?
Speaker 2: He is not useful. All he wants to know is
Speaker 2: are we going to get to the shops or not.
Speaker 2: I thought you were gonna buy me some Pokemon cards today.
Speaker 2: This is really inconvenience and I'm trying to stand on
Speaker 2: this spanner thing to loosen anyway. Because of where I live,
Speaker 2: probably like three different guys in big utes pulled over
Speaker 2: and said variations of Dahl Dahl do you want me
Speaker 2: to do that? I let one go by, people love,
Speaker 2: I let another one go by. I'm like, no, I've
Speaker 2: got it. And then the third guy comes and I
Speaker 2: was like.
Speaker 3: Please, god, tire, I've got a video to help.
Speaker 2: He did it in three minutes, like just unbelievably quick.
Speaker 2: Jack bang spanner bang tire on bang, Thanks very much,
Speaker 2: Off he went, and I was like, look, feminism, right,
Speaker 2: I know how to change a tire now thanks to
Speaker 2: my you know the work I've done. But do I
Speaker 2: want to when it would take me a really long
Speaker 2: time because I'm not very strong with these nuts. Or
Speaker 2: would I like this man to do it for me? Yes?
Speaker 2: I would. My best of the week is that that
Speaker 2: man stopped helped change my tire in three minutes, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm so grateful, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Can I do anything for you?
Speaker 2: And he just looked at me like I was nuts,
Speaker 2: because he was like, of course you would change a
Speaker 2: tire for someone by the side of the road. And
Speaker 2: I shook his hand and he drove away.
Speaker 3: I'm interested in the etiquette of that.
Speaker 1: Right. People are good.
Speaker 3: I've had that situation where someone's helped me and I've
Speaker 3: been like I almost want to give you money or something,
Speaker 3: but that.
Speaker 2: Would be insulting. Yeah, I thought that about this guy.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I should buy him like that
Speaker 2: wasn't there a shop, but I should take my child.
Speaker 2: He wasn't even the kind of guy that like you
Speaker 2: would get his number like it just did all felt wrong,
Speaker 2: So you were just like, very thank you. I shook
Speaker 2: his hand. I said that was your good deed for
Speaker 2: the day. And he laughed at me. And then that was, oh,
Speaker 2: my worst of the week.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've done this is my worst before,
Speaker 1: but here we are again. I have a cough out louders.
Speaker 1: It's why I was recording remotely on Monday, because I
Speaker 1: was coughing. I didn't want to cough for my friends.
Speaker 3: Everyone in the world is sick, everyone.
Speaker 1: Is, and I was sick. I was one of them,
Speaker 1: and I was coughing, and that's annoying because it's like cough, cough, cough.
Speaker 1: And then also we I was at my parents for
Speaker 1: dinner on the weekend and I just suddenly had like,
Speaker 1: because if I get a little catch in my throat,
Speaker 1: it will be like an attack of coughing. I've worked
Speaker 1: out if I'm sitting down that supports my pelvic floor shots, okay,
Speaker 1: but if I'm lying down or standing up, bad things happen.
Speaker 1: Have you got I weed my pants so bad I
Speaker 1: had to go home like a.
Speaker 3: Shot kindergarten who said home, didn't you bring the bear underpants?
Speaker 1: And I was wearing some new jeans that I got
Speaker 1: from Cotton and I really liked them. They were like
Speaker 1: leopard print jeans, and I weed in them. And the
Speaker 1: bad tried. It's very hardest, but I didn't have like
Speaker 1: a very major I just had like a liner. It
Speaker 1: didn't understand you going.
Speaker 3: To the pelvic floor physio.
Speaker 1: Can you give me the number?
Speaker 3: I've only sent it to you eleven times?
Speaker 1: Will can you again to me? Because I really need
Speaker 1: to sort that out.
Speaker 2: I knew you were going to buy those jeans. I
Speaker 2: saw them in the shop and I was like.
Speaker 1: I bought them.
Speaker 2: Maya will be wearing those jeans?
Speaker 1: You know. I didn't see them in the shop, but
Speaker 1: I saw someone at Mamea wearing them and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what are they? And she said cotton and on sal
Speaker 1: this supercomfey and they come in like one hundred dollars
Speaker 1: and I just got the red sixty nine dollars. This
Speaker 1: isn't a recommendation, but anyway, I weed in them. But
Speaker 1: they're clean.
Speaker 3: Now that's good.
Speaker 1: My best is all my girls are back. So my
Speaker 1: daughter has been away for six weeks in Europe, traveling
Speaker 1: by herself. We sent our dogs away for four weeks
Speaker 1: to holiday from them, my two girl dogs, and they
Speaker 1: all came back on Friday, and also my daughter's girlfriend
Speaker 1: came back as well, and so she'd been away for
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. So suddenly, having been in the
Speaker 1: house with Jace and Remy and sometimes Luca would pop over.
Speaker 1: Haven't seen you much, Jesse, all the estrogen and the
Speaker 1: chaos flooded back into the house in the span of
Speaker 1: about six hours, and it was just delightful. And also
Speaker 1: it's like a little piece of my heart has been
Speaker 1: over in Europe, and you know that thing of she's
Speaker 1: been traveling by herself. She's only eighteen, So every morning,
Speaker 1: like I'd slept with my phone on every night, and
Speaker 1: every morning I'd quickly check and I'd look on the
Speaker 1: family three sixty yup to see where she was. And
Speaker 1: you know, she was in countries I'd never been to,
Speaker 1: staying in hostels and stuff, and I was so excited
Speaker 1: for her to have this adventure. But it was like
Speaker 1: a part of my heart was there. And so she
Speaker 1: came back and it was just lovely.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: Can I ask a question, a dog related question? They
Speaker 2: mad with you for sending them away for four weeks.
Speaker 2: They're happy to be home. What's the vibe?
Speaker 1: Short memories? Dogs live in the moment, so they don't
Speaker 1: tend to carry resentment. They're just like, hi, so good
Speaker 1: to see you.
Speaker 2: For five minutes.
Speaker 1: It was funny. Is Bella, who's like my dog. She
Speaker 1: got in the car and she just needed to look
Speaker 1: deeply into my.
Speaker 3: Eyes for communicate a few things.
Speaker 1: She just needed to be like because I've not been
Speaker 1: apart from her for that long before, and she's like,
Speaker 1: I thought I'd never see you again. This is a
Speaker 1: truly great day.
Speaker 3: My worst is I went to the doctor about these
Speaker 3: weird stomach cramps I've been getting and I had to
Speaker 3: get bloods right, anyway, a few things showed up and
Speaker 3: like gonna get that sort of. But one of the
Speaker 3: weird things was when I went back to the doctor,
Speaker 3: it wasn't the doctor who'd done the test at this
Speaker 3: different one and he was looking at it and he went,
Speaker 3: this has been flagged. This is really weird. But your
Speaker 3: blood sugar levels are really quite elevated. And I was like,
Speaker 3: oh no, that sounds bad, and he said, yeah, we're
Speaker 3: going to have to like every time you get a
Speaker 3: blood test, we're going to have to keep this in check.
Speaker 3: And then he said, do you have a history of
Speaker 3: family history of diabetes? Then started talking to me about
Speaker 3: like you've got to be exercising, You've got to be
Speaker 3: eating meals and not cake. And I was like, I
Speaker 3: mean I eat meals and like, I don't eat that
Speaker 3: much cake. I was so anxious about this reading and
Speaker 3: I left going, oh my god, am I like am
Speaker 3: I pre diabetic? Like I'm thirty three. I'm like I
Speaker 3: thought I was exercising and eating okay, Like if these
Speaker 3: lifestyle habits have caused this, then like, oh, I guess
Speaker 3: I have chocolate. I do have chocolate every day for dessert.
Speaker 3: That must be it. And so I was so anxious
Speaker 3: and got home and were sitting there spiraling a bit,
Speaker 3: and then I googled because he gave me the level
Speaker 3: and I was like, I should check how bad this is.
Speaker 3: And I put the level in and it said, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's elevated for a fasting blood test. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I didn't do a fasting blood test. I did a
Speaker 3: non fasting blood test after I had a diet cod
Speaker 3: because I was at the check because I was specifically
Speaker 3: told it was non fasting. I did my test at
Speaker 3: four pm. I've had multiple meals, I'd had one hundred coffees.
Speaker 3: I was like, my blood sugar when I looked at
Speaker 3: it was actually in the completely normal range. So I
Speaker 3: went from thinking I had high blood sugars to having
Speaker 3: normal ones. I came home and I was so stoked
Speaker 3: because me, you'd sent home dessert and I was liked
Speaker 3: free dessert. But also to the outlanders who like do
Speaker 3: have high bloodsh that is a scary bloody thing. Lifestyle changes.
Speaker 3: Don't feel like making them. But anyway, I was very relieved.
Speaker 3: So that was my worst.
Speaker 1: Also that you've got to do the test again, I assume.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't think I do, because now it's just
Speaker 3: marked as non fasting and they're like, oh, your levels
Speaker 3: were actually completely normal. My best has been watching the
Speaker 3: Olympics off. But my best within that has been the
Speaker 3: conversations I've had with Luca while watching the Olympics, because
Speaker 3: he watches it with me, and men are so delusional.
Speaker 3: You're never reminded of this so much as during the Olympics.
Speaker 3: We'll watching the fifteen hundred meters heats this week and
Speaker 3: I turned to Luca and I was half joking, and
Speaker 3: I said, do you reckon? He could dive in a
Speaker 3: pool and do fifteen hundred meters And he was like,
Speaker 3: of course I could. Of course I could do fifteen
Speaker 3: hundred meters.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's ten laps of fifteen me.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Maya, it's not ten laps.
Speaker 1: It's way more math, thirty laps.
Speaker 3: It's sorry at lap, but you're.
Speaker 1: Laughing at me, but you're laughing with me. It's swimming laps.
Speaker 1: It's swimming lass, swimming math.
Speaker 3: Seven eight years i've been with him, never has he
Speaker 3: done a lap in a swimming pool. I was like,
Speaker 3: there is no evidence, no data to suggest you can
Speaker 3: swim one hundred meters. I said to him, three hundred meters.
Speaker 3: You need to take a break and a breath. And
Speaker 3: then we had a friend come over who was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I could do fifteen hundred meters. His girlfriend walked in.
Speaker 3: I go, could you do fifteen hundred She goes, now,
Speaker 3: I'd need to break up to three hundred meters. I
Speaker 3: was like, that's exactly what I said. That is the truth.
Speaker 3: Then we're watching the Latin The average person can't jump
Speaker 3: in a pool and do fifteen hundred meters. Then we're
Speaker 3: watching the Latvian badminton.
Speaker 2: And Latvian are deep, they are deep.
Speaker 3: And we're sitting there watching it and Luca said, with
Speaker 3: absolute confidence, give me three months and I could be
Speaker 3: the best bad minton player in La fear.
Speaker 2: I said, you don't know the rules, strange family.
Speaker 3: He was like, it's a smallish country. I was like,
Speaker 3: you don't know the rules. He said, that would take
Speaker 3: me half a day. I could be the best player.
Speaker 2: Men.
Speaker 3: Watching the Olympics is so toxic that I'm just like,
Speaker 3: this is why the world is as it is.
Speaker 1: Well. He also said a different challenge, which was if
Speaker 1: you had to pick a sport that you had to
Speaker 1: do at the Olympics and not come last, what would
Speaker 1: it be? And so every night I watched and so
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, maybe skateboarding if I could sit
Speaker 1: on the skate if I had a handle. And then
Speaker 1: my husband's like, that sounds like a car. Then I
Speaker 1: was now I'm just being silly, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: think synchronized diving with Jesse, Oh, I'd love to see that.
Speaker 3: I have a sense that i'd actually been quite good
Speaker 3: at archery. Think i'd be I think i'd be good
Speaker 3: at archery.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: Is there a walking even the walking away there and
Speaker 1: they've got rules and stuff.
Speaker 2: Can't do any of it. I don't think. I don't
Speaker 2: think I can pick up the shot put.
Speaker 3: See, women are really good at knowing their limits. Whereas
Speaker 3: men watch like women's football and they're like, well it
Speaker 3: could beat that team.
Speaker 1: I've actually hadn't been thinking. I couldn't have even sat
Speaker 1: in real life or on the couch through the opening ceremony.
Speaker 1: I couldn't sit on the couch. That is how useless
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Does parenting need a rebrand? Are working women not selling
Speaker 3: the idea of parenting very well?
Speaker 1: Apparently not?
Speaker 3: Apparently not. You might have seen there was data last
Speaker 3: week about the baby recession, and Emily Vannam joined Holly
Speaker 3: and I on Out Loud this week. She's she is
Speaker 3: to talk about why women are deciding not to have babies.
Speaker 3: A link to that episode will be in the show
Speaker 3: notes because.
Speaker 1: We discover that a lot of people at Mamma and
Speaker 1: Me are saying they think maybe they don't want to
Speaker 1: have children. Yeah, and a lot of the young women
Speaker 1: and your data.
Speaker 2: That is all we've got time for today and this
Speaker 2: week out Loud as We hope you have enjoyed being
Speaker 2: on the podium with us this week. A massive thank
Speaker 2: you to all of you and to our amazing team
Speaker 2: Emmeline Gazilla's audio production from Leah Porge's We will be
Speaker 2: back in your ears next week. Until then, try and
Speaker 2: find the sport you like on the Olympics. Tell us
Speaker 2: where it is. Jesse is watching the Latvian bad Mutter.
Speaker 2: Something needs to change.
Speaker 3: Bye Bye. Shout out to any Mum and mea subscribers listening.
Speaker 3: If you love the show and you want to support us,
Speaker 3: subscribing to Momma Mia is the very best way to
Speaker 3: do so. There's a link in the episode description.