1 00:00:10,327 --> 00:00:13,047 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 2 00:00:13,727 --> 00:00:16,767 Speaker 2: Mama Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:16,807 --> 00:00:23,887 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on Hello, and welcome to 4 00:00:23,927 --> 00:00:27,167 Speaker 2: Mama Mia out Loud and to our Friday's show where 5 00:00:27,207 --> 00:00:29,047 Speaker 2: we take a bit of a break from the news 6 00:00:29,047 --> 00:00:33,487 Speaker 2: cycle and breath out Today. Friends, is Friday, the seventh 7 00:00:33,527 --> 00:00:37,567 Speaker 2: of June. I'm Holly Wainwright, And if you missed Monday's show, 8 00:00:37,607 --> 00:00:41,287 Speaker 2: you'll miss us talking about why it really is finally 9 00:00:41,327 --> 00:00:45,327 Speaker 2: time to cancel Brad Pitt And this one got quite 10 00:00:45,327 --> 00:00:48,647 Speaker 2: a lot of opinions going. Should we raise the age 11 00:00:48,647 --> 00:00:50,407 Speaker 2: of social media access to sixty? 12 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:54,447 Speaker 1: I'm mea Friedman And on Wednesday we talked about rodent 13 00:00:54,527 --> 00:00:59,727 Speaker 1: boyfriends and also the difference between female and male billionaires, 14 00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:02,247 Speaker 1: and we also had a bit of a dispute about that. 15 00:01:02,527 --> 00:01:05,887 Speaker 1: Listen to those episodes via a link in our show notes. 16 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:09,127 Speaker 3: And I'm Burnham. I'm filling in for Jesse again today. 17 00:01:09,327 --> 00:01:12,687 Speaker 3: You can always hear me on this Bill Entertainment Daily pickhause. 18 00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:18,727 Speaker 2: An on today's show, is Everybody Beautiful? A mass experiment 19 00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:21,687 Speaker 2: in the MoMA Mea office certainly suggests that they don't 20 00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:25,407 Speaker 2: feel it. Also thanks to watch and read and do 21 00:01:25,527 --> 00:01:29,047 Speaker 2: this weekend, which include a very sweary puppet, a viral book, 22 00:01:29,327 --> 00:01:33,407 Speaker 2: and a self helpy app. And Best and Worse, which 23 00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:37,567 Speaker 2: include a very embarrassing partner wagging work and MEA's new boss, 24 00:01:37,607 --> 00:01:38,927 Speaker 2: but first, Mia Friedman. 25 00:01:39,207 --> 00:01:42,087 Speaker 1: In case you missed it, Independent MPs want to fine 26 00:01:42,207 --> 00:01:46,287 Speaker 1: businesses twenty five thousand dollars if they don't accept cash 27 00:01:46,327 --> 00:01:49,327 Speaker 1: from their customers in a bid to stop the move 28 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,927 Speaker 1: to going fully cashless. Except they're not going to pay 29 00:01:52,967 --> 00:01:55,767 Speaker 1: that twenty five thousand dollar fine in cash would be 30 00:01:55,847 --> 00:01:59,727 Speaker 1: my bet. Former National ZMP Andrew g on Monday introduced 31 00:01:59,767 --> 00:02:02,207 Speaker 1: a private member's bill that would require businesses to offer 32 00:02:02,207 --> 00:02:05,087 Speaker 1: cash as a form of payment. Some starts to make 33 00:02:05,127 --> 00:02:08,287 Speaker 1: you feel smart. In two thousand and seven, about seventy 34 00:02:08,327 --> 00:02:10,927 Speaker 1: percent of all trans actions were made with cash, but 35 00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:13,327 Speaker 1: this is now fallen to thirteen percent. Wow. 36 00:02:13,447 --> 00:02:16,647 Speaker 2: So thirteen percent of anything you buy or pay for 37 00:02:16,807 --> 00:02:17,167 Speaker 2: is cash. 38 00:02:17,407 --> 00:02:20,367 Speaker 1: Yeow. So banks and large retailers have been given until 39 00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:22,807 Speaker 1: October by the Competition Watchdog to find a way to 40 00:02:22,967 --> 00:02:26,527 Speaker 1: ensure the continued movement of cash around the country. I 41 00:02:26,607 --> 00:02:30,487 Speaker 1: don't know why they need to, Like, can't you just 42 00:02:30,527 --> 00:02:32,287 Speaker 1: get money out of an ATM, you don't need a 43 00:02:32,287 --> 00:02:36,087 Speaker 1: credit card necessarily. Why do we need cash? Apart from 44 00:02:36,127 --> 00:02:39,247 Speaker 1: buskers who I honestly feel so upset for the. 45 00:02:39,447 --> 00:02:41,087 Speaker 3: Time of them have their tap on little thing. 46 00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:44,167 Speaker 1: Now, yeah, that's true, some of them do have any 47 00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:45,607 Speaker 1: I mean even at lemonade stands. 48 00:02:45,607 --> 00:02:48,127 Speaker 2: Apparently, why do we need cash? Like, what's the reason 49 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,447 Speaker 2: for this? Why do they want it? 50 00:02:49,687 --> 00:02:52,087 Speaker 1: The arguments in favor of having cash are that it 51 00:02:52,527 --> 00:02:56,007 Speaker 1: is often favored by older people, people who don't want 52 00:02:56,007 --> 00:02:58,087 Speaker 1: to keep their money in banks. They might want to 53 00:02:58,167 --> 00:03:00,327 Speaker 1: keep it I don't know, under their bed or in 54 00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:04,087 Speaker 1: their pocket. And also I can't remember the third thing. 55 00:03:04,127 --> 00:03:06,727 Speaker 2: But no, it's about privacy. So some people don't feel 56 00:03:06,727 --> 00:03:09,727 Speaker 2: comfortable with the level of surveillance that comes with paying 57 00:03:09,727 --> 00:03:13,287 Speaker 2: for everything. To this day, I'm not saying that's true, but 58 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,407 Speaker 2: it's like, if you pay for everything with a card, 59 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,927 Speaker 2: then everything you do can be tracked, right, Whereas if 60 00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:20,847 Speaker 2: you get money out of the bank and then you 61 00:03:20,887 --> 00:03:23,167 Speaker 2: just spend that money, it can't be traced. That's the 62 00:03:23,207 --> 00:03:26,567 Speaker 2: whole point of cash, and that's why that's used in 63 00:03:26,727 --> 00:03:28,807 Speaker 2: more sinister ways. But like a lot of people are 64 00:03:28,887 --> 00:03:31,327 Speaker 2: uncomfortable with the level of surveillance that comes with cash. Yeah, 65 00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:34,887 Speaker 2: And the other reason is rural areas, places that don't 66 00:03:34,887 --> 00:03:37,287 Speaker 2: always have such stable Internet connections all of that kind 67 00:03:37,287 --> 00:03:39,407 Speaker 2: of stuff. They want people to still be able to 68 00:03:39,447 --> 00:03:41,087 Speaker 2: operate in cash. It's very true. 69 00:03:41,127 --> 00:03:43,527 Speaker 1: I mean, we saw what happened when there was optist 70 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:47,127 Speaker 1: blackout last year and people couldn't buy their coffee. It 71 00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:50,207 Speaker 1: was devastating. No, but people often don't have cash. The 72 00:03:50,247 --> 00:03:53,527 Speaker 1: only time I use cash now, I've realized, is when 73 00:03:53,527 --> 00:03:56,207 Speaker 1: I go to my alterationist because she doesn't accept cards 74 00:03:57,047 --> 00:03:59,807 Speaker 1: or any kind of FPOs, which is a nightmare. So 75 00:03:59,927 --> 00:04:02,167 Speaker 1: literally the only time I go to the bank is 76 00:04:02,167 --> 00:04:04,007 Speaker 1: when I have to get my clothes altered. 77 00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:07,607 Speaker 2: I live in the regions obviously, and our local service 78 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:11,247 Speaker 2: station servo. I remember once their like digital stuff was 79 00:04:11,287 --> 00:04:13,647 Speaker 2: down and I didn't have cash, so I couldn't get 80 00:04:13,647 --> 00:04:16,007 Speaker 2: any petrol, and she said, always have a fifty in 81 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,567 Speaker 2: your wallet because and she was saying that joining the 82 00:04:18,607 --> 00:04:22,687 Speaker 2: bushfires in our neighborhood, which was very badly affected by 83 00:04:22,687 --> 00:04:25,807 Speaker 2: that terrible summer of bushfires, and all the services went out, 84 00:04:25,887 --> 00:04:28,527 Speaker 2: all the internet services went out, and so many people 85 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,807 Speaker 2: who were trying to get away, would go to the 86 00:04:30,847 --> 00:04:34,327 Speaker 2: servo wanted petrol, but they couldn't pay for it, and 87 00:04:34,367 --> 00:04:36,207 Speaker 2: so she was saying, you know, they were asking can 88 00:04:36,247 --> 00:04:37,767 Speaker 2: I just have it for free? And she was like, well, 89 00:04:37,767 --> 00:04:39,487 Speaker 2: I can't just give you all that. 90 00:04:39,607 --> 00:04:41,807 Speaker 1: That's really interesting and they say them so in case 91 00:04:41,847 --> 00:04:46,287 Speaker 1: of emergency. Future terrorism will be about internet going down 92 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,607 Speaker 1: and then we won't be able to pay for anything. 93 00:04:48,607 --> 00:04:50,127 Speaker 1: Do you even know what cash is? 94 00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:50,607 Speaker 2: Not? 95 00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:54,047 Speaker 3: Really? I haven't owned a wallet in probably ten years. 96 00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:56,287 Speaker 3: I have never used cash. I remember one time, I 97 00:04:56,287 --> 00:04:59,207 Speaker 3: think it was last year, where my card expired so 98 00:04:59,247 --> 00:05:02,287 Speaker 3: it wasn't working, and I walked over to my mum's 99 00:05:02,327 --> 00:05:03,807 Speaker 3: work because I was like, you need to give me 100 00:05:03,847 --> 00:05:05,527 Speaker 3: your card and she was like, why didn't you just 101 00:05:05,607 --> 00:05:06,807 Speaker 3: use cash? And I'm like, I don't know how to 102 00:05:06,847 --> 00:05:09,207 Speaker 3: do that, Like I physically don't know who will take it, 103 00:05:09,487 --> 00:05:11,887 Speaker 3: because I've never seen anyone take cash. Like I don't 104 00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:14,087 Speaker 3: like own cash. I don't have any cash on me ever. 105 00:05:14,767 --> 00:05:17,847 Speaker 2: I got really really irritated by my coworkers this week. 106 00:05:17,887 --> 00:05:20,567 Speaker 2: Oh God, that's it. That's the segment. That's all I've 107 00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:25,247 Speaker 2: got today, that's all we've got time for today. It 108 00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:28,207 Speaker 2: was about a story that ran on Mama Mia written 109 00:05:28,207 --> 00:05:30,487 Speaker 2: by Jemma Bath, who you might have heard on Monday's 110 00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:32,967 Speaker 2: show filling in for our Jesse, and it was about 111 00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:36,127 Speaker 2: something quite specific that I think is actually about something 112 00:05:36,207 --> 00:05:39,327 Speaker 2: much broader. The story that Jemma wrote was called Dan 113 00:05:39,447 --> 00:05:42,367 Speaker 2: photographed sixty women in the Mama Mea office. We all 114 00:05:42,407 --> 00:05:44,847 Speaker 2: said the same thing, and it was about the day 115 00:05:45,007 --> 00:05:47,007 Speaker 2: or days as it turned out, that all of Mamma 116 00:05:47,087 --> 00:05:50,207 Speaker 2: MIA's editorial team got their pictures taken. It was for 117 00:05:50,287 --> 00:05:52,647 Speaker 2: new headshots. And as I'm sure you can understand from 118 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,247 Speaker 2: the term headshots, they're like the pictures that get taken 119 00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:56,607 Speaker 2: that then go at the top of all the little 120 00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:58,487 Speaker 2: articles so you can see the people who wrote them. 121 00:05:58,527 --> 00:06:02,167 Speaker 2: They might be used in professional decks on LinkedIn their 122 00:06:02,207 --> 00:06:05,647 Speaker 2: life crusted. Yes you look serious, So there you're like 123 00:06:05,847 --> 00:06:09,687 Speaker 2: professional headshots. And although I know that not every body's 124 00:06:09,727 --> 00:06:11,967 Speaker 2: job requires them to have their picture taken like that, 125 00:06:12,727 --> 00:06:16,087 Speaker 2: think about sort of formal photograph situations like maybe you're 126 00:06:16,087 --> 00:06:19,247 Speaker 2: in a wedding party, maybe you're at somebody's birthday, maybe 127 00:06:19,247 --> 00:06:20,807 Speaker 2: it's the girl's weekend away. 128 00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:21,967 Speaker 1: Going on a dating app. 129 00:06:22,087 --> 00:06:24,167 Speaker 2: Going on a dating app, you need the yeah, all 130 00:06:24,207 --> 00:06:26,887 Speaker 2: of those kind of things, think about all of those times. 131 00:06:27,407 --> 00:06:29,207 Speaker 2: Here's Jem talking about the article. 132 00:06:29,607 --> 00:06:32,887 Speaker 4: The idea for this article was sparked by my own 133 00:06:33,007 --> 00:06:36,607 Speaker 4: headshot session with Dan, actually, because while I was in 134 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:39,887 Speaker 4: the room with him, he was directing me to, you know, 135 00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:43,127 Speaker 4: lift my chin and look this way, and I made 136 00:06:43,127 --> 00:06:45,767 Speaker 4: a comment like off the calf of oh yes, because 137 00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:48,207 Speaker 4: I don't want to double chin, and he kind of 138 00:06:48,247 --> 00:06:51,247 Speaker 4: sighed and was like, oh, yeah, I've heard that one before. 139 00:06:52,127 --> 00:06:56,047 Speaker 4: And when I prompted him, he said most of the 140 00:06:56,087 --> 00:06:58,647 Speaker 4: people were most of the women that had come into 141 00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:01,687 Speaker 4: that room today had also said that remark, and we'd 142 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:04,287 Speaker 4: all also talked about our wrinkles and our hair sitting 143 00:07:04,287 --> 00:07:06,447 Speaker 4: the wrong way. And I did a bit of an 144 00:07:06,447 --> 00:07:09,647 Speaker 4: impromptu interview with him while getting my photo taken, and 145 00:07:09,727 --> 00:07:12,767 Speaker 4: I realized just how much we all bloody hate ourselves 146 00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:15,767 Speaker 4: or how we look at least, and the men in 147 00:07:15,807 --> 00:07:18,207 Speaker 4: our office, apparently we're in and out of that photo 148 00:07:18,247 --> 00:07:21,247 Speaker 4: shoot in two minutes, didn't care at all about the photos, 149 00:07:21,247 --> 00:07:23,967 Speaker 4: barely looked at them. And then the women on average 150 00:07:23,967 --> 00:07:27,887 Speaker 4: were getting sixty to eighty shots per person. And then 151 00:07:27,887 --> 00:07:29,807 Speaker 4: the number one thing we would all say to Dan, 152 00:07:30,007 --> 00:07:34,007 Speaker 4: was it's not you, it's me. You know that trope 153 00:07:34,047 --> 00:07:37,567 Speaker 4: that we're all, you know, people pleasers, and it's not 154 00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:40,927 Speaker 4: Dan's fault. We are all just not good enough. I 155 00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:43,527 Speaker 4: include myself in that, because when Dan showed me the photos, 156 00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:45,527 Speaker 4: all I could see was the bad stuff. I looked 157 00:07:45,767 --> 00:07:48,127 Speaker 4: a little bit fatter, a little bit rinklier than I felt, 158 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,687 Speaker 4: and I thought my smile was too big. And then 159 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:53,767 Speaker 4: when I left the room, I started observing my colleagues 160 00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:56,207 Speaker 4: and there were hair straighteners out all over the office. 161 00:07:56,287 --> 00:07:59,007 Speaker 4: Everyone was touching up full faces of makeup that they 162 00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:03,207 Speaker 4: don't usually have. We're all spending ages kind of fixing. 163 00:08:02,887 --> 00:08:04,367 Speaker 2: Ourselves for our turn. 164 00:08:04,887 --> 00:08:06,367 Speaker 4: So I knew that there was a story in it, 165 00:08:06,647 --> 00:08:09,607 Speaker 4: but I didn't realize how hard it was going to 166 00:08:09,647 --> 00:08:13,167 Speaker 4: be to actually get people to participate. No one wanted 167 00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:15,407 Speaker 4: to share their headshot with me. I had to basically 168 00:08:15,447 --> 00:08:18,327 Speaker 4: corner people in the office. They all had horrible things 169 00:08:18,327 --> 00:08:22,007 Speaker 4: to say about themselves, really mean things, and this from 170 00:08:22,047 --> 00:08:24,607 Speaker 4: people that I perceived to be really confident and really 171 00:08:24,687 --> 00:08:28,527 Speaker 4: outwardly happy in their own skin. I had positive comments 172 00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:33,287 Speaker 4: from probably two people really who enjoyed the experience, But 173 00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:36,767 Speaker 4: then I had other colleagues saying things like their photos 174 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,047 Speaker 4: were never going to see the light of day, another 175 00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:41,327 Speaker 4: one who said that they had a hair appointment especially 176 00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:43,487 Speaker 4: for it, but they were just trying to pick the 177 00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:47,287 Speaker 4: least bad shot. I'd love to say that there was 178 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:51,207 Speaker 4: a silver lining good ending to this story, but basically 179 00:08:51,287 --> 00:08:54,007 Speaker 4: my findings were that even in twenty twenty four, we 180 00:08:54,207 --> 00:08:58,247 Speaker 4: are picking apart our own appearances in agonizing detail, and 181 00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:01,647 Speaker 4: the beauty tropes that we've been marinating in have just 182 00:09:01,687 --> 00:09:04,767 Speaker 4: as much of a stranglehold on us as ever. So 183 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,447 Speaker 4: a bit of a downer for your Friday, But after 184 00:09:07,487 --> 00:09:09,887 Speaker 4: writing this story, I'm trying to be a bit kinder 185 00:09:09,887 --> 00:09:13,207 Speaker 4: to myself because I looked at my colleagues headshots and 186 00:09:13,247 --> 00:09:16,767 Speaker 4: I thought they were all beautiful. So hopefully calling all 187 00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,367 Speaker 4: of this out will make us realize what we're doing 188 00:09:20,407 --> 00:09:22,247 Speaker 4: and we can all just be a little bit better, 189 00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:24,607 Speaker 4: because we can't be this hung up on a headshot. 190 00:09:25,007 --> 00:09:30,087 Speaker 2: And my first I heard on the grapevine you were 191 00:09:30,127 --> 00:09:34,007 Speaker 2: one of the most time maintenance of all of the headshotters. 192 00:09:34,127 --> 00:09:36,687 Speaker 2: Tell me what happened with you in these photos. 193 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:41,207 Speaker 3: I love getting my photo taken, Yeah, I love it. 194 00:09:41,287 --> 00:09:43,367 Speaker 3: I love the whole experience of it. 195 00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:43,607 Speaker 1: It. 196 00:09:43,687 --> 00:09:46,007 Speaker 3: Firstly, I'm not one of those people who's like, oh yeah, 197 00:09:46,007 --> 00:09:48,007 Speaker 3: I just like threw something on and went to out 198 00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:49,727 Speaker 3: my friend. I put like effort in. I put my 199 00:09:49,727 --> 00:09:52,007 Speaker 3: makeup on, did my hair, and chose my outfit. Even 200 00:09:52,047 --> 00:09:53,807 Speaker 3: though my shirt had a hole in it was fine. 201 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:56,687 Speaker 3: I just loved the experience of just like being there, 202 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,887 Speaker 3: being in front of the camera doing like a little 203 00:09:58,967 --> 00:09:59,727 Speaker 3: quirky thing. 204 00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:00,807 Speaker 2: I just love it. 205 00:10:00,847 --> 00:10:02,447 Speaker 3: And I think it's because I don't get it in 206 00:10:02,527 --> 00:10:05,567 Speaker 3: my everyday life as much as much as other people. 207 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,767 Speaker 3: And I think it all boils down to not having 208 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,487 Speaker 3: a partner, Like there's no one in my life who 209 00:10:09,527 --> 00:10:11,767 Speaker 3: would just candidly ever take a photo of me. 210 00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:13,927 Speaker 2: So why did you have to have two photo shoots 211 00:10:13,927 --> 00:10:14,207 Speaker 2: for this? 212 00:10:14,287 --> 00:10:15,447 Speaker 3: Because I loved it so much. 213 00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:18,687 Speaker 2: Oh it wasn't because you hated your picture. 214 00:10:18,607 --> 00:10:21,207 Speaker 3: And there was a deeper meaning. So from since I 215 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,567 Speaker 3: was younger, I don't like seeing my photos through someone 216 00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:25,487 Speaker 3: else's lens. So for me, it's not really the act 217 00:10:25,567 --> 00:10:28,327 Speaker 3: of taking the photo, it's the editing that happens after it. 218 00:10:28,647 --> 00:10:31,167 Speaker 3: I remember when I was around sixteen, I went to 219 00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,407 Speaker 3: one of my friend's birthday parties, and it was like 220 00:10:33,407 --> 00:10:35,647 Speaker 3: one of those big sixteen. She had a professional photographer 221 00:10:36,007 --> 00:10:37,847 Speaker 3: and I saw the photos on the camera and then 222 00:10:38,007 --> 00:10:40,567 Speaker 3: she posted them all on her Facebook page and tagged 223 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,367 Speaker 3: us all in it, and they were the edited versions. 224 00:10:42,407 --> 00:10:45,527 Speaker 3: And I saw that my skin was lightened in the 225 00:10:45,647 --> 00:10:49,927 Speaker 3: edited versions. What And I immediately went, I look so good, 226 00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:53,247 Speaker 3: Like I look really good. And from then all my 227 00:10:53,287 --> 00:10:55,927 Speaker 3: Instagram photos, i'd always lighten my skin a little bit 228 00:10:56,047 --> 00:10:57,527 Speaker 3: when I edit it. And then I went through this 229 00:10:57,527 --> 00:10:58,927 Speaker 3: whole thing, I was like, this is a bit fucked 230 00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:02,167 Speaker 3: up what I'm doing. So now I always think, like, 231 00:11:02,207 --> 00:11:04,447 Speaker 3: I just don't like someone editing my own photo. So 232 00:11:04,447 --> 00:11:05,927 Speaker 3: that's where I whenever to play. 233 00:11:06,007 --> 00:11:08,207 Speaker 2: So do you mean like, because the way that this 234 00:11:08,327 --> 00:11:10,847 Speaker 2: works is the obvios. The photographer in the room takes 235 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:14,007 Speaker 2: like lots of pictures then whittles them down to like 236 00:11:14,087 --> 00:11:15,767 Speaker 2: a few pictures. I mean, I don't know if this 237 00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:17,727 Speaker 2: is exactly how this works, but it's often how it works. 238 00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:20,287 Speaker 2: And then you go, I like that one, not that one. 239 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,287 Speaker 2: You're like, you want to edit them down? 240 00:11:22,607 --> 00:11:25,007 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, I'll just like save the raw version. I 241 00:11:25,007 --> 00:11:26,967 Speaker 3: don't like my photos to be edited, right. 242 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,087 Speaker 1: Like you mean retouched. 243 00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:31,567 Speaker 3: That's what I edited, retouched like brighton. I don't like 244 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,407 Speaker 3: any like hues like. 245 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,487 Speaker 2: That, and that's why. 246 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:38,447 Speaker 3: That's the reason why otherwise a whole actual taking photo 247 00:11:38,487 --> 00:11:39,527 Speaker 3: experiences I love. 248 00:11:40,887 --> 00:11:43,967 Speaker 2: So you were so you got your picture taken twice 249 00:11:44,647 --> 00:11:47,167 Speaker 2: because you liked it so much and you like the 250 00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:47,967 Speaker 2: picture that you've got in. 251 00:11:47,927 --> 00:11:49,927 Speaker 3: The end, Yeah, I love the picture, but I also 252 00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:51,767 Speaker 3: wanted something different because I was like, this is a 253 00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:53,287 Speaker 3: fun experience. I'll do it again, and I got the 254 00:11:53,287 --> 00:11:57,327 Speaker 3: girls in the office to do my makeup, hairto. 255 00:11:56,407 --> 00:11:59,287 Speaker 1: You're a freak, I say that with all my love. No, 256 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,847 Speaker 1: you're an outlier, is what I mean. Because that's unusual. Right, 257 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:05,167 Speaker 1: Most people hate getting their photo taken, including me. When 258 00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:07,447 Speaker 1: I was listening to Jemma talk about it and reading 259 00:12:07,487 --> 00:12:11,047 Speaker 1: her article, I was like, why is this a surprise? 260 00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:14,447 Speaker 1: She nailed it. And when I was thinking about why 261 00:12:14,487 --> 00:12:18,327 Speaker 1: it is, it's because having your photo taken is a 262 00:12:18,407 --> 00:12:24,727 Speaker 1: very vulnerable moment, because you are submitting, consciously or unconsciously 263 00:12:25,607 --> 00:12:29,127 Speaker 1: to measuring yourself next to the beauty standard that there 264 00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:32,887 Speaker 1: is for women. And guess what, not a single one 265 00:12:32,887 --> 00:12:36,807 Speaker 1: of us, even Margo Robbie, matches up to that standard 266 00:12:36,847 --> 00:12:41,047 Speaker 1: meets that standard. That's because that standard is so unrealistic, 267 00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:44,487 Speaker 1: it's so face tuned, it's so you know, retouched, whatever 268 00:12:44,487 --> 00:12:47,447 Speaker 1: you want to call it, it actually isn't a human person. 269 00:12:48,447 --> 00:12:51,247 Speaker 1: So I think that there is a vulnerability in that, 270 00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:54,127 Speaker 1: and there's also a you know you're going to fail 271 00:12:54,367 --> 00:12:56,887 Speaker 1: going in like it's a test that you cannot win. 272 00:12:57,167 --> 00:13:00,447 Speaker 2: Do you really think that all of us, all ages, 273 00:13:00,487 --> 00:13:03,887 Speaker 2: shape sizes, all the different things, we are all trying 274 00:13:03,887 --> 00:13:05,247 Speaker 2: to be Margo Robbie in her head? 275 00:13:05,287 --> 00:13:07,327 Speaker 1: No, no, no, I don't mean Margaret. I mean that even 276 00:13:07,327 --> 00:13:09,487 Speaker 1: Margot Robbie feels that way. I don't mean that we're 277 00:13:09,487 --> 00:13:11,127 Speaker 1: all trying to look like Margot Robbie. 278 00:13:11,127 --> 00:13:12,927 Speaker 2: But I mean that when I say that, I mean, 279 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,087 Speaker 2: well that beautiful. 280 00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:17,487 Speaker 1: We're all trying to look like a beauty standard that 281 00:13:17,687 --> 00:13:24,967 Speaker 1: is overwhelmingly light skinned, thin, young, flawless, big lips, all 282 00:13:24,967 --> 00:13:28,367 Speaker 1: these different features, trying to look like that. But then, 283 00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:30,487 Speaker 1: why don't you like pictures of yourself? I don't mean 284 00:13:30,527 --> 00:13:33,007 Speaker 1: every single one of those things, But for you, what 285 00:13:33,207 --> 00:13:35,167 Speaker 1: do you see when you look at a picture of yourself? 286 00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:36,567 Speaker 1: Did you enjoy having your photo taken? 287 00:13:36,847 --> 00:13:37,567 Speaker 3: I don't love. 288 00:13:37,447 --> 00:13:39,207 Speaker 2: Having my photo taken, although I don't hate it because 289 00:13:39,207 --> 00:13:40,807 Speaker 2: it's part of my job and it happens a lot, right, 290 00:13:40,807 --> 00:13:42,487 Speaker 2: which I know it sounds like a bit wanky, but 291 00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:44,487 Speaker 2: it's true. Like we've got our pictures taken for the show, 292 00:13:44,527 --> 00:13:46,367 Speaker 2: we get our pictures taken for a portrait, we get 293 00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:49,767 Speaker 2: our pictures taken to promote the show on social every day. 294 00:13:50,087 --> 00:13:53,167 Speaker 2: So I have become much less precious about it. I 295 00:13:53,287 --> 00:13:56,367 Speaker 2: used to be spos They much more precious about it. 296 00:13:56,847 --> 00:13:59,087 Speaker 2: Because one of the reasons why I found this really 297 00:13:59,087 --> 00:14:02,727 Speaker 2: interesting that Jemma found that all these women hated looking 298 00:14:02,727 --> 00:14:05,927 Speaker 2: at pictures of themselves and thought they looked awful is 299 00:14:06,047 --> 00:14:08,407 Speaker 2: I was surprised for the same reason that she was. 300 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:10,447 Speaker 2: I know, you say you're not, and I'm sure you're right, 301 00:14:11,487 --> 00:14:15,127 Speaker 2: because to my mind, we've lived for however long now 302 00:14:15,207 --> 00:14:20,767 Speaker 2: in this much more body confident culture. So all these young, 303 00:14:20,887 --> 00:14:23,047 Speaker 2: mostly young women who are out there, they're mostly younger 304 00:14:23,047 --> 00:14:26,207 Speaker 2: millennials or Gen Z's, they are much more visible than 305 00:14:26,207 --> 00:14:28,127 Speaker 2: we ever were at that age because they take pictures 306 00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:31,647 Speaker 2: of themselves endlessly. Everything you do, you're having your picture taken. 307 00:14:31,487 --> 00:14:33,367 Speaker 1: Right, Why do they then do with those people exactly 308 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:33,687 Speaker 1: what I. 309 00:14:33,727 --> 00:14:36,807 Speaker 2: Mean well, but no they don't. These girls don't do 310 00:14:36,887 --> 00:14:40,407 Speaker 2: that at all, but they do get editorial approval of 311 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:43,047 Speaker 2: those pictures, do you know what I mean? Like selfie 312 00:14:43,087 --> 00:14:45,447 Speaker 2: culture and growing up in selfie culture means that you 313 00:14:45,487 --> 00:14:47,927 Speaker 2: get to choose which pictures you put up, right, So 314 00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:51,607 Speaker 2: that's the difference. But they are much more photographed and 315 00:14:51,687 --> 00:14:54,327 Speaker 2: visible than we ever were growing up. They're much more 316 00:14:54,807 --> 00:14:57,407 Speaker 2: familiar with their faces, their angles, what they like, what 317 00:14:57,487 --> 00:15:00,367 Speaker 2: they don't like, and so I find that really interesting 318 00:15:00,407 --> 00:15:04,167 Speaker 2: because I thought that they would be much more comfortable 319 00:15:04,327 --> 00:15:05,167 Speaker 2: with the process. 320 00:15:05,207 --> 00:15:07,847 Speaker 1: When someone takes your picture, it's not in your control. 321 00:15:07,887 --> 00:15:10,207 Speaker 1: And that's the thing that m says, Like I often 322 00:15:10,247 --> 00:15:14,447 Speaker 1: look at the pictures that women I know post of themselves, 323 00:15:14,527 --> 00:15:17,847 Speaker 1: and to me, what they think reflects them or what 324 00:15:17,927 --> 00:15:20,447 Speaker 1: they want to reflect them doesn't look to me like 325 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:23,367 Speaker 1: the them that I know. And I've heard other people 326 00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:25,447 Speaker 1: say that about me. Sometimes the way you want to 327 00:15:25,647 --> 00:15:28,047 Speaker 1: be perceived or the way you think you look is 328 00:15:28,087 --> 00:15:30,607 Speaker 1: different to how other people see you. But to me, 329 00:15:30,887 --> 00:15:33,127 Speaker 1: what you said just then whole is at the crux 330 00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:35,887 Speaker 1: of this, because I think it is a very specific 331 00:15:36,007 --> 00:15:39,287 Speaker 1: trap that we are now in. We're being punished twice 332 00:15:39,287 --> 00:15:42,687 Speaker 1: in many ways because the whole body positivity movement and 333 00:15:42,727 --> 00:15:46,247 Speaker 1: this idea of everybody is beautiful and beauty. You know, 334 00:15:46,327 --> 00:15:49,527 Speaker 1: you're beautiful and everybody's beautiful, and you're beautiful without makeup, 335 00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:52,007 Speaker 1: and you're beautiful when you're old. And that scene in 336 00:15:52,047 --> 00:15:55,647 Speaker 1: the Barbie movie where Mico Robbie of all people, looks 337 00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,407 Speaker 1: at that old lady at the bus stop and goes, 338 00:15:57,527 --> 00:15:58,527 Speaker 1: you're so beautiful. 339 00:15:59,407 --> 00:16:01,407 Speaker 2: I know it. That's bullshit. 340 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,727 Speaker 1: No, it's not bullshit. Do you know why it's bullshit? 341 00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:09,127 Speaker 1: Because it is gaslighting us that we live, we marinate 342 00:16:09,527 --> 00:16:13,567 Speaker 1: in a sea of beauty standards for women, and that 343 00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:17,967 Speaker 1: to say that that's not the case is deliver us. 344 00:16:18,887 --> 00:16:22,647 Speaker 3: But we're also like posting these same photos on our Instagram. 345 00:16:22,727 --> 00:16:24,327 Speaker 3: So you're saying, like the photos that you post of 346 00:16:24,407 --> 00:16:27,087 Speaker 3: yourself on your Instagram, you don't think any of them 347 00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:27,887 Speaker 3: you look really good in. 348 00:16:28,127 --> 00:16:31,007 Speaker 1: Show me the proof that everybody's beautiful. Show me how 349 00:16:31,087 --> 00:16:32,567 Speaker 1: society confirms that. 350 00:16:33,407 --> 00:16:37,007 Speaker 2: What that idea is that everybody's beautiful as bullshit. Is 351 00:16:37,087 --> 00:16:39,247 Speaker 2: buying into something that's being pushed on us about what 352 00:16:39,327 --> 00:16:42,207 Speaker 2: beauty is, and what we all actually know is that 353 00:16:42,287 --> 00:16:45,207 Speaker 2: everybody is beautiful, Like you know very well that when 354 00:16:45,207 --> 00:16:47,127 Speaker 2: you love someone and you like someone, they are more 355 00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:49,727 Speaker 2: beautiful to you. What the whole point of that thing 356 00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:52,607 Speaker 2: of Barbie looking at the older lady with the wrinkles 357 00:16:52,647 --> 00:16:56,447 Speaker 2: and going you're beautiful is deliberately subversive because they are 358 00:16:56,607 --> 00:17:01,367 Speaker 2: like your grandparent with their wrinkly skin and their creepy hands, 359 00:17:01,847 --> 00:17:04,807 Speaker 2: is beautiful to you because you know who they are. 360 00:17:04,887 --> 00:17:07,367 Speaker 2: So I think if we're pushing back on the everyone 361 00:17:07,447 --> 00:17:11,047 Speaker 2: is beautiful idea, then we're buying into the narrow beauty 362 00:17:11,047 --> 00:17:14,967 Speaker 2: standard that only belongs to point zero nine of the population. 363 00:17:15,207 --> 00:17:17,327 Speaker 1: I just feel like it's tricking us. And I agree 364 00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:21,167 Speaker 1: with what you're saying, like people who society doesn't confirm 365 00:17:21,247 --> 00:17:25,407 Speaker 1: is a beautiful a beautiful to me. But then what 366 00:17:25,447 --> 00:17:29,047 Speaker 1: does that mean as the person who your child might 367 00:17:29,127 --> 00:17:31,487 Speaker 1: think is beautiful, or your partner or your friend or 368 00:17:31,527 --> 00:17:35,927 Speaker 1: your dog. If every message that you get from the 369 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:39,527 Speaker 1: rest of society in every waking moment of your life 370 00:17:39,887 --> 00:17:41,767 Speaker 1: is that you are not beautiful because you do not 371 00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:45,047 Speaker 1: conform to this beauty standard that is impossible for any 372 00:17:45,047 --> 00:17:48,167 Speaker 1: woman to conform to you, right, it then just means 373 00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,647 Speaker 1: that you're failing twice because you feel bad about it 374 00:17:51,127 --> 00:17:53,487 Speaker 1: that you're not meeting the beauty standard, and then you're 375 00:17:53,527 --> 00:17:57,247 Speaker 1: told no, but actually you are beautiful. It's like, well, 376 00:17:57,407 --> 00:18:00,087 Speaker 1: but why should I believe you? How can I believe 377 00:18:00,127 --> 00:18:01,007 Speaker 1: you that I'm beautiful? 378 00:18:01,087 --> 00:18:02,607 Speaker 2: I don't think it's that deep. 379 00:18:02,807 --> 00:18:06,047 Speaker 3: I honestly think, like, sometimes I just feel really good, 380 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,967 Speaker 3: so I want to post a photo on Instagram so 381 00:18:08,007 --> 00:18:10,087 Speaker 3: my ex boyfriend will see it sesars for the every 382 00:18:10,127 --> 00:18:12,167 Speaker 3: day for the rest of his life. I honestly think 383 00:18:12,207 --> 00:18:14,607 Speaker 3: I look at photos of myself on my Instagram more 384 00:18:14,647 --> 00:18:16,687 Speaker 3: than any other person because I just want to see 385 00:18:16,687 --> 00:18:19,127 Speaker 3: it from other people's perspective. I'm like, yep, that personal 386 00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:20,807 Speaker 3: think I look good. Yep, that personal think. 387 00:18:20,647 --> 00:18:21,127 Speaker 2: I look good. 388 00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:24,047 Speaker 3: I don't think it's that deep of me going beautiful 389 00:18:24,447 --> 00:18:25,207 Speaker 3: not beautiful. 390 00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:28,047 Speaker 2: So you really only consider what you look like through 391 00:18:28,087 --> 00:18:29,767 Speaker 2: the lens of what other people think you look like. 392 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:32,647 Speaker 3: Yeah on Instagram. Yeah, But if I'm taking like a 393 00:18:32,647 --> 00:18:36,567 Speaker 3: professional shot and I'm posting it myself, sometimes I'm like, no, 394 00:18:36,727 --> 00:18:38,687 Speaker 3: I want to look like how I feel like. I 395 00:18:38,727 --> 00:18:39,567 Speaker 3: want people to perceive me. 396 00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:40,847 Speaker 1: But when you look in the mirror, do you go 397 00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:42,047 Speaker 1: I'm beautiful? No? 398 00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:44,207 Speaker 2: Who does that That's what I mean. 399 00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:47,087 Speaker 1: If the body positivity movement, of which I'm a big 400 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:50,407 Speaker 1: supporter and proponent, but if it's been so effective and 401 00:18:50,527 --> 00:18:54,247 Speaker 1: done so much for women, why are we all having 402 00:18:54,287 --> 00:18:57,567 Speaker 1: more surgery than we all ever have? Why we face 403 00:18:57,647 --> 00:19:00,527 Speaker 1: tuning and filtering and doing all of those things for 404 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:01,287 Speaker 1: our photos. 405 00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:04,687 Speaker 3: Why just because I see myself and I'm not saying 406 00:19:05,207 --> 00:19:07,567 Speaker 3: I'm beautiful doesn't mean I'm also saying I'm ugly. I'm 407 00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:08,767 Speaker 3: just like seeing myself and I'm. 408 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,807 Speaker 2: Like, okay, you're neutral. 409 00:19:10,847 --> 00:19:15,047 Speaker 3: I'm neutral. It's like I'm just posting photos and I 410 00:19:15,127 --> 00:19:15,847 Speaker 3: enjoy my life. 411 00:19:15,927 --> 00:19:19,127 Speaker 2: That's exactly what, how where we should be. Because the 412 00:19:19,207 --> 00:19:21,967 Speaker 2: reason that, no, she's not that unusual. I think that, 413 00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:25,407 Speaker 2: Like the reason why that article irritated me so much 414 00:19:26,367 --> 00:19:29,407 Speaker 2: was the notion that all these smart young women that 415 00:19:29,447 --> 00:19:31,567 Speaker 2: I work with, not just young women, all these smart 416 00:19:31,607 --> 00:19:35,207 Speaker 2: women that I work with are wasting so much and like, 417 00:19:35,287 --> 00:19:37,887 Speaker 2: put your makeup on, walk in, smile at the camera, 418 00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,207 Speaker 2: and walk sucking. 419 00:19:38,967 --> 00:19:39,847 Speaker 3: Out and get on the way. 420 00:19:40,047 --> 00:19:43,407 Speaker 1: Right. Don't blame the player, blame the game. But you're 421 00:19:44,087 --> 00:19:47,007 Speaker 1: you're making the political personal. You're saying all you need 422 00:19:47,047 --> 00:19:50,607 Speaker 1: to do is stop wasting time. Instead of going hang 423 00:19:50,687 --> 00:19:51,727 Speaker 1: on the systems. 424 00:19:52,287 --> 00:19:54,727 Speaker 2: How do we change the system. The way we change 425 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,567 Speaker 2: the system is to stop buying into the idea that 426 00:19:56,607 --> 00:19:59,767 Speaker 2: there's only this tiny, tiny little square of beauty and 427 00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:02,167 Speaker 2: all the rest of us live outside it. The way 428 00:20:02,207 --> 00:20:05,247 Speaker 2: to change the system is to say, sorry, there's all 429 00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:08,087 Speaker 2: kinds of beautiful, and you might be selling us one 430 00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:10,247 Speaker 2: theory about it, and we'll in twit to a point. 431 00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:13,367 Speaker 2: We are all beautiful, and all those women are and 432 00:20:13,407 --> 00:20:15,487 Speaker 2: I mean you can go and put your lippy on 433 00:20:15,487 --> 00:20:17,407 Speaker 2: and everything. I'm not suggesting that you just roll in 434 00:20:17,447 --> 00:20:20,327 Speaker 2: out of bed, because we're all trying to project an 435 00:20:20,407 --> 00:20:24,167 Speaker 2: image of ourselves, particularly in a professional situation, that we're 436 00:20:24,207 --> 00:20:28,807 Speaker 2: comfortable with. But the idea that it's such an awful, agonizing, 437 00:20:29,007 --> 00:20:32,847 Speaker 2: painful process, I'm guilty of it too, for sure. But 438 00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:35,207 Speaker 2: it's that thing of every time I'm with my friends 439 00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:37,887 Speaker 2: and we have our picture taken because it's somebody's fiftieth 440 00:20:38,007 --> 00:20:41,607 Speaker 2: or it's somebody's you know, whatever event, someone will always 441 00:20:41,647 --> 00:20:43,047 Speaker 2: say I don't want to go on the end. I 442 00:20:43,047 --> 00:20:44,807 Speaker 2: don't want people to see my arm. I don't want 443 00:20:44,807 --> 00:20:46,887 Speaker 2: people to see my stomach. I don't want people to 444 00:20:46,887 --> 00:20:49,367 Speaker 2: have my thing, and we all, as Jemma says in 445 00:20:49,407 --> 00:20:51,967 Speaker 2: this story, are in such a cycle of self hatred. 446 00:20:52,247 --> 00:20:54,807 Speaker 2: The answer to it is not to let go of 447 00:20:54,847 --> 00:20:57,167 Speaker 2: the idea of beautiful. The answer to it is to 448 00:20:57,287 --> 00:20:59,167 Speaker 2: expand the idea of beautiful. 449 00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:14,367 Speaker 1: It's time for some recommendations and things to get stuck 450 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,207 Speaker 1: into on the weekend. I'm going to go first because 451 00:21:16,207 --> 00:21:19,447 Speaker 1: I haven't spoken enough today. You can hear my voices 452 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:19,927 Speaker 1: giving out. 453 00:21:20,247 --> 00:21:21,207 Speaker 3: I love a viral book. 454 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,007 Speaker 1: It's hard to get me to read a novel, but 455 00:21:23,047 --> 00:21:25,807 Speaker 1: if someone says everybody's talking about it, then I will. 456 00:21:26,087 --> 00:21:27,887 Speaker 2: It's a book called All Fours. 457 00:21:27,647 --> 00:21:29,807 Speaker 1: By Miranda July. I've heard of her, but I've not 458 00:21:29,887 --> 00:21:33,607 Speaker 1: read her work before. She's a New York Times bestselling author, 459 00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:36,567 Speaker 1: and she's written other books called The First Bad Man 460 00:21:36,687 --> 00:21:40,047 Speaker 1: is apparently her most favorite one. But it is about 461 00:21:40,087 --> 00:21:43,327 Speaker 1: a woman up ending her life, a woman in midlife. 462 00:21:43,327 --> 00:21:45,847 Speaker 1: She's a semi famous artist. You never really get to 463 00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:49,767 Speaker 1: the bottom of what she's famous for. But she announces 464 00:21:49,807 --> 00:21:52,567 Speaker 1: her plan to drive cross country from LA to New 465 00:21:52,647 --> 00:21:56,287 Speaker 1: York for work and just to see some friends. And 466 00:21:56,327 --> 00:21:59,607 Speaker 1: then she decides to just exit the freeway and she 467 00:21:59,807 --> 00:22:02,007 Speaker 1: just stays where she is for two weeks and what 468 00:22:02,127 --> 00:22:04,887 Speaker 1: happens to her there and then what happens afterwards. It's 469 00:22:04,887 --> 00:22:08,767 Speaker 1: about perimenopause, it's about sex, it's about relationships, it's about 470 00:22:09,247 --> 00:22:12,847 Speaker 1: a particular time in life. It is so so good. 471 00:22:13,047 --> 00:22:15,567 Speaker 2: Great, what's your echo? 472 00:22:15,887 --> 00:22:19,047 Speaker 3: I am recommending an app it's called DAILI oh that 473 00:22:19,167 --> 00:22:21,167 Speaker 3: I want you both to download after this episode. It's 474 00:22:21,167 --> 00:22:23,927 Speaker 3: a self care app. So it's basically. 475 00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:27,607 Speaker 1: About us downloaded after being recommended on this podcast. She's 476 00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:28,087 Speaker 1: none of them. 477 00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:29,727 Speaker 2: I think that thinks we need help. 478 00:22:29,767 --> 00:22:32,767 Speaker 3: You need you need this app. It's basically just like 479 00:22:32,807 --> 00:22:36,407 Speaker 3: a kind of productivity, but it's also a life tracker app. 480 00:22:36,727 --> 00:22:39,687 Speaker 3: I use it and it's helped my depression so much. 481 00:22:40,087 --> 00:22:42,447 Speaker 3: It's literally like a diary entry, so he says, as 482 00:22:42,447 --> 00:22:45,287 Speaker 3: a diary entry used to track my sleep, my menstrual cycle. 483 00:22:45,607 --> 00:22:47,607 Speaker 3: You put in your daily habit and you tick them 484 00:22:47,647 --> 00:22:49,967 Speaker 3: off as you go every day, and sometimes when it 485 00:22:49,967 --> 00:22:52,447 Speaker 3: gets really bad, it's like really specific, like have you 486 00:22:52,487 --> 00:22:55,487 Speaker 3: showered today? Literally, and then you can also put in 487 00:22:55,767 --> 00:22:57,607 Speaker 3: how well you slept last night, what time you went 488 00:22:57,647 --> 00:23:00,287 Speaker 3: to bed, and then would help. It helps because it 489 00:23:00,287 --> 00:23:03,407 Speaker 3: helps you formulate patterns of behavior and it gives you 490 00:23:03,447 --> 00:23:06,447 Speaker 3: the statistics. So for example, last night, I slept terribly, 491 00:23:06,767 --> 00:23:08,407 Speaker 3: and I put in my app I step terribly, and 492 00:23:08,447 --> 00:23:11,087 Speaker 3: it's like, oh, just sing, you also slept really badly 493 00:23:11,367 --> 00:23:13,447 Speaker 3: on this day and this day, and then the next 494 00:23:13,527 --> 00:23:15,207 Speaker 3: day you're also really anxious. So I went into my 495 00:23:15,247 --> 00:23:16,687 Speaker 3: calendar and I was like, what happened on these days? 496 00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:18,007 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, I was feeling in for 497 00:23:18,047 --> 00:23:22,887 Speaker 3: out loud. So it helps you track all those things. 498 00:23:22,927 --> 00:23:24,887 Speaker 3: I know that two days before my period. For the 499 00:23:24,927 --> 00:23:27,447 Speaker 3: past six months, I'm always really angry as a base 500 00:23:27,567 --> 00:23:29,367 Speaker 3: level of motion. So it kind of helps you, like 501 00:23:29,447 --> 00:23:32,007 Speaker 3: see that beforehand. So when you're feeling that, you kind 502 00:23:32,007 --> 00:23:34,007 Speaker 3: of know and put like words to it. So good 503 00:23:34,087 --> 00:23:36,887 Speaker 3: Daleio you downloaded on Apple or Google Play if you 504 00:23:36,927 --> 00:23:37,527 Speaker 3: have an Android. 505 00:23:37,767 --> 00:23:41,767 Speaker 2: Somebody is tracking that shit, I know, but you need. 506 00:23:42,167 --> 00:23:44,927 Speaker 1: People put all that shit on their Instagram. Anyway, she 507 00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:46,047 Speaker 1: just said it on a podcast. 508 00:23:49,247 --> 00:23:52,967 Speaker 2: I'm recommending a show on Netflix called Eric. Now, if 509 00:23:53,047 --> 00:23:55,447 Speaker 2: Jesse was here, she might say to me, is this 510 00:23:55,487 --> 00:24:00,407 Speaker 2: one of your ship recommendations? And look, it's not, but 511 00:24:00,527 --> 00:24:02,487 Speaker 2: it won't be for everybody. 512 00:24:01,967 --> 00:24:03,847 Speaker 3: Because it's dark. 513 00:24:04,007 --> 00:24:08,487 Speaker 2: Yes, it has Benedict cumberbatchanette who obviously is fantastic. It 514 00:24:08,607 --> 00:24:10,887 Speaker 2: is dark, though right it won't be for everybody. What 515 00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:13,967 Speaker 2: it's about is it's a drama, and it's about a 516 00:24:14,007 --> 00:24:16,887 Speaker 2: couple who are played by Benedict Comberbatch and Gabby Hoffman, 517 00:24:16,927 --> 00:24:19,727 Speaker 2: and they are both fantastic who are kind of at 518 00:24:19,767 --> 00:24:22,007 Speaker 2: each other. It's the eighties. They're living in New York. 519 00:24:22,567 --> 00:24:25,647 Speaker 2: He is the creator and head puppeteer on a show 520 00:24:25,687 --> 00:24:28,407 Speaker 2: that's basically Sesame Street. It's not that it's called Good 521 00:24:28,407 --> 00:24:31,127 Speaker 2: Morning Sunshine or Hello Sunshine or something, so you see 522 00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:32,767 Speaker 2: behind the scenes of how that works. But when he 523 00:24:32,807 --> 00:24:35,047 Speaker 2: goes home, him and his wife argue like cat and dog. 524 00:24:35,167 --> 00:24:38,007 Speaker 2: He drinks a lot, et cetera. One day, their little 525 00:24:38,007 --> 00:24:40,327 Speaker 2: boy goes missing on the way to school, and it's 526 00:24:40,327 --> 00:24:41,527 Speaker 2: about what happens after that. 527 00:24:42,887 --> 00:24:43,607 Speaker 1: What are you doing? 528 00:24:43,647 --> 00:24:43,727 Speaker 4: What? 529 00:24:43,887 --> 00:24:47,967 Speaker 2: Edgars trimes, I'm working up a new puppet. 530 00:24:49,367 --> 00:24:52,087 Speaker 3: But we can get him on the show that a 531 00:24:52,207 --> 00:24:52,927 Speaker 3: girl will see. 532 00:24:53,007 --> 00:24:56,807 Speaker 1: You'll know how much we wanted to come home really crazy. 533 00:24:57,327 --> 00:25:01,127 Speaker 3: He's the monster that every child wants when they are 534 00:25:01,287 --> 00:25:03,607 Speaker 3: lost and need to be found. 535 00:25:04,447 --> 00:25:05,927 Speaker 1: This is Abig's idea. 536 00:25:07,487 --> 00:25:11,207 Speaker 2: I want to make it real. I'm out yeah, you 537 00:25:11,207 --> 00:25:14,807 Speaker 2: would definitely be out. But it's amazing because what happens is, 538 00:25:15,127 --> 00:25:16,727 Speaker 2: so the little boy used to go to work with 539 00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:19,887 Speaker 2: his dad and he had started sketching and drawing his 540 00:25:19,887 --> 00:25:21,927 Speaker 2: own puppet that he was going to be on this show. 541 00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:26,487 Speaker 2: And Cumberbatch's character starts losing it, obviously because he's in 542 00:25:26,527 --> 00:25:28,487 Speaker 2: a state about trying to find his son and decides 543 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:31,167 Speaker 2: he's got to create this poppet and put it on 544 00:25:31,207 --> 00:25:33,567 Speaker 2: the show and it will bring his son home. But 545 00:25:33,647 --> 00:25:35,807 Speaker 2: because at the same time he's having a mental breakdown 546 00:25:35,927 --> 00:25:39,007 Speaker 2: because his son's missing and he's drinking straight vodka all day, 547 00:25:39,407 --> 00:25:41,927 Speaker 2: this puppet kind of comes to life and appears to him. 548 00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:45,927 Speaker 2: So it's really weird. It's really interesting. It's one of 549 00:25:46,007 --> 00:25:48,847 Speaker 2: the most original shows I've seen. Along the side, you've 550 00:25:48,847 --> 00:25:50,927 Speaker 2: got the investigation of, obviously, what happens to the Sun. 551 00:25:51,527 --> 00:25:53,807 Speaker 2: It's very like New York eighties. Brent and I just 552 00:25:53,847 --> 00:25:55,927 Speaker 2: kept saying to each other that nobody seems very bothered 553 00:25:55,967 --> 00:25:58,367 Speaker 2: that this kid's gone missing. The parents do, obviously, but 554 00:25:58,407 --> 00:26:01,487 Speaker 2: it's like there was a period in American history where 555 00:26:01,527 --> 00:26:04,327 Speaker 2: kids were on the side of milk cartons and the 556 00:26:04,367 --> 00:26:07,607 Speaker 2: missing kids, whether it was as common as the media 557 00:26:07,647 --> 00:26:09,247 Speaker 2: reported it to be or not is a bit disp 558 00:26:09,327 --> 00:26:11,327 Speaker 2: you did, but it was a think and it's set 559 00:26:11,367 --> 00:26:15,287 Speaker 2: in that time and it's just a really original, weird, 560 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:18,287 Speaker 2: button pushing show. Come for Batch is amazing. Gabby Hoffman 561 00:26:18,447 --> 00:26:19,207 Speaker 2: is amazing. 562 00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:22,167 Speaker 1: Like her she's I remember her from Transparent if you were. 563 00:26:22,767 --> 00:26:24,687 Speaker 1: Do you know this is number one in Netflix and 564 00:26:24,767 --> 00:26:27,567 Speaker 1: lots of countries around the world and it is actually 565 00:26:27,607 --> 00:26:31,167 Speaker 1: written by Abby Morgan who wrote The Split, and I'm 566 00:26:31,247 --> 00:26:32,687 Speaker 1: a massive fan of hers. 567 00:26:33,007 --> 00:26:36,927 Speaker 2: Really original, just very different, very so we're really enjoying it. 568 00:26:36,967 --> 00:26:39,447 Speaker 2: But as I say, it might give you a nightmas. 569 00:26:41,127 --> 00:26:41,807 Speaker 3: Out loud as. 570 00:26:41,727 --> 00:26:43,447 Speaker 1: If you want to listen to us every day of 571 00:26:43,487 --> 00:26:46,247 Speaker 1: the week, you can get access to exclusive segments on 572 00:26:46,327 --> 00:26:49,967 Speaker 1: Tuesdays and Thursdays by becoming a Mum and mea subscriber. 573 00:26:50,367 --> 00:26:52,527 Speaker 1: Follow the link in the show notes to subscribe and 574 00:26:52,527 --> 00:26:54,927 Speaker 1: support us. And a big thank you to all our 575 00:26:54,967 --> 00:26:56,007 Speaker 1: current subscribers. 576 00:27:05,847 --> 00:27:08,687 Speaker 3: It is time for best and Worst of the week, miya. 577 00:27:09,367 --> 00:27:12,727 Speaker 1: So my worst of the week is something that happened 578 00:27:13,087 --> 00:27:15,767 Speaker 1: first on Sex and the City or was made famous 579 00:27:16,167 --> 00:27:18,967 Speaker 1: and just like that. Actually the last season, do you 580 00:27:19,007 --> 00:27:21,607 Speaker 1: remember when Charlotte had a flash period when she was 581 00:27:21,607 --> 00:27:22,567 Speaker 1: wearing the white Oh. 582 00:27:22,647 --> 00:27:24,727 Speaker 2: Yes, I had a bloody flashing period. 583 00:27:24,887 --> 00:27:28,447 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm meant to be in menopause. I got 584 00:27:28,487 --> 00:27:31,447 Speaker 1: home and had blood all down the back of. 585 00:27:31,487 --> 00:27:35,247 Speaker 3: My trucks, and I'm always like, don't people feel it? 586 00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:38,447 Speaker 1: I don't know why I didn't feel it and no 587 00:27:38,487 --> 00:27:40,847 Speaker 1: one said anything. And I'm now so embarrassed because I 588 00:27:40,847 --> 00:27:41,927 Speaker 1: was like walking around. 589 00:27:42,207 --> 00:27:43,967 Speaker 2: I would be so freaked out if that happened now 590 00:27:44,007 --> 00:27:46,887 Speaker 2: because I'm not having periods anymore. I know that would 591 00:27:46,927 --> 00:27:47,887 Speaker 2: freak me out. 592 00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:49,807 Speaker 1: I know it was not ideal. 593 00:27:50,087 --> 00:27:50,607 Speaker 2: I've had it. 594 00:27:50,527 --> 00:27:53,487 Speaker 3: Happen to three women. I know three women which happened 595 00:27:53,487 --> 00:27:55,407 Speaker 3: to them in public, and they were like, it's embarrassing 596 00:27:55,447 --> 00:27:56,727 Speaker 3: because i feel like I've just got my period for 597 00:27:56,727 --> 00:27:58,367 Speaker 3: the first time, Like I'm a correct a year old girl. 598 00:27:58,407 --> 00:28:00,927 Speaker 1: You're like, I'm fifty two. How have I still got 599 00:28:01,167 --> 00:28:03,447 Speaker 1: like blood on my clothes? Anyway, So that was my worst. 600 00:28:03,887 --> 00:28:07,247 Speaker 1: My best is that we announced last week and new 601 00:28:07,287 --> 00:28:09,887 Speaker 1: CEO for Mom and Me, which is very exp for 602 00:28:09,927 --> 00:28:13,447 Speaker 1: people who might not know. I'm not the CEO of 603 00:28:13,527 --> 00:28:17,007 Speaker 1: MoMA Mia. I'm a co founder. My husband until last 604 00:28:17,007 --> 00:28:20,167 Speaker 1: week was the CEO. He's my co founder, and we've 605 00:28:20,167 --> 00:28:22,927 Speaker 1: been looking for a new CEO for quite some time. 606 00:28:23,127 --> 00:28:26,887 Speaker 1: Jason stepped up into a exec chairman role. We appointed 607 00:28:27,007 --> 00:28:29,887 Speaker 1: Nat Harvey. She's amazing. She came from Channel seven. She 608 00:28:29,967 --> 00:28:32,327 Speaker 1: was the national sales director there. She's been here for 609 00:28:32,327 --> 00:28:35,727 Speaker 1: a few months in a different role and she has 610 00:28:35,807 --> 00:28:38,687 Speaker 1: been handed the reins and I'm very excited. 611 00:28:39,367 --> 00:28:41,927 Speaker 2: She your boss. You a great question. 612 00:28:42,247 --> 00:28:45,207 Speaker 1: We're kind of each other's bosses because Jason and I 613 00:28:45,687 --> 00:28:48,447 Speaker 1: know still own the company and are responsible for it, 614 00:28:49,087 --> 00:28:52,807 Speaker 1: but I'm running things past her and it's really interesting. 615 00:28:52,887 --> 00:28:54,847 Speaker 1: It's like it's a really she's got to put her 616 00:28:54,887 --> 00:28:57,247 Speaker 1: stamp on things. I'm like, how do you want to 617 00:28:57,287 --> 00:28:58,887 Speaker 1: do this? And how do you want to do that? 618 00:28:59,007 --> 00:29:01,207 Speaker 1: And I'm just thrilled also that I don't always have 619 00:29:01,287 --> 00:29:02,847 Speaker 1: to sort of be because Jace was never the face 620 00:29:02,847 --> 00:29:04,927 Speaker 1: of the company. That sort of more fell to me, 621 00:29:05,727 --> 00:29:07,607 Speaker 1: and I never wanted to be that. I just want 622 00:29:07,647 --> 00:29:10,727 Speaker 1: to be able to do my thing. So I'm very excited. 623 00:29:10,767 --> 00:29:14,807 Speaker 1: She's got so much energy, she's cool. Yeah, she's terrific. 624 00:29:15,007 --> 00:29:18,007 Speaker 1: I think she's maybe forty, so I'm older than her. 625 00:29:18,327 --> 00:29:19,047 Speaker 2: She's my boss. 626 00:29:19,087 --> 00:29:21,447 Speaker 1: I'm kind of her boss, but I just love being 627 00:29:21,447 --> 00:29:23,567 Speaker 1: told what to do, so I'm very excited. I can 628 00:29:23,567 --> 00:29:27,927 Speaker 1: tell you what you can. I always listen to you go. 629 00:29:28,807 --> 00:29:32,327 Speaker 3: My worst was recently I turned twenty. 630 00:29:31,967 --> 00:29:35,607 Speaker 2: Eighth man and is that satin return or is that 631 00:29:35,647 --> 00:29:37,927 Speaker 2: twenty seven? It's sat in return? I thought, so, oh, 632 00:29:37,967 --> 00:29:40,127 Speaker 2: you better put that in your freaking tracking oup. My 633 00:29:40,287 --> 00:29:42,367 Speaker 2: saturn returning throwing up my life. 634 00:29:42,567 --> 00:29:45,887 Speaker 3: I think it's between twenty and one fire for the 635 00:29:45,927 --> 00:29:46,367 Speaker 3: whole year. 636 00:29:46,647 --> 00:29:47,367 Speaker 2: Just force quits. 637 00:29:48,967 --> 00:29:53,407 Speaker 3: It is the first birthday of mine where I felt 638 00:29:53,447 --> 00:29:57,287 Speaker 3: like I can't be excited for wall. It's a great 639 00:29:57,367 --> 00:30:00,567 Speaker 3: day what it is. Firstly, the biggest thing, which I 640 00:30:00,567 --> 00:30:02,207 Speaker 3: don't know why I have an issue with, was no one. 641 00:30:02,047 --> 00:30:02,887 Speaker 2: Got me a birthday cake. 642 00:30:03,207 --> 00:30:06,087 Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't have a single birthday cake on my birthday, and. 643 00:30:06,007 --> 00:30:08,367 Speaker 2: I love doing what your mother doing to me. 644 00:30:09,127 --> 00:30:11,687 Speaker 3: On I had a dinner with my friends, my parents, 645 00:30:12,007 --> 00:30:14,927 Speaker 3: and few other friends, a few different celebrations. Not one cake, 646 00:30:15,007 --> 00:30:18,807 Speaker 3: not one cake inside, and I was more embarrassed that 647 00:30:18,967 --> 00:30:20,647 Speaker 3: I didn't have a cake. And I was kind of 648 00:30:20,647 --> 00:30:22,887 Speaker 3: like annoyed at my friends and family for not telling 649 00:30:22,927 --> 00:30:24,487 Speaker 3: me they weren't bringing a cake so I could bring 650 00:30:24,527 --> 00:30:25,127 Speaker 3: my own cake. 651 00:30:25,287 --> 00:30:26,967 Speaker 1: My mother in law baked her own cake for her 652 00:30:26,967 --> 00:30:27,287 Speaker 1: birth day. 653 00:30:27,327 --> 00:30:29,327 Speaker 3: I would have done that. I just assumed someone would 654 00:30:29,327 --> 00:30:29,607 Speaker 3: tell me. 655 00:30:29,607 --> 00:30:31,327 Speaker 1: She said, I felt like cake, so I made one. 656 00:30:31,367 --> 00:30:32,807 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. She goes, no, No, 657 00:30:32,887 --> 00:30:35,127 Speaker 1: that's not She's much better cook than any of us. 658 00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,647 Speaker 3: She's taking it better than I take you are. 659 00:30:36,647 --> 00:30:38,287 Speaker 2: You're feeling bad about twenty eight? Is that what you're 660 00:30:38,327 --> 00:30:38,647 Speaker 2: telling me? 661 00:30:38,767 --> 00:30:40,847 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm feeling bad about being twenty eight. I feel 662 00:30:40,887 --> 00:30:44,567 Speaker 3: like it's also when you're single alone, it feels like 663 00:30:44,607 --> 00:30:46,407 Speaker 3: I'm forcing people to celebrate me. 664 00:30:46,847 --> 00:30:48,527 Speaker 2: Like I'm the ones of friends and you've got a 665 00:30:48,567 --> 00:30:49,487 Speaker 2: lovely close family. 666 00:30:49,927 --> 00:30:52,367 Speaker 3: One I had to like book the dinner. I'm the 667 00:30:52,367 --> 00:30:54,367 Speaker 3: one who had to like tell people you created this 668 00:30:54,487 --> 00:30:57,727 Speaker 3: day to come have dinner to celebrate me. It's so weird. 669 00:30:57,887 --> 00:30:59,447 Speaker 3: I feel so weird about it. 670 00:30:59,487 --> 00:31:02,967 Speaker 1: So because your parents don't organize it, your partner doesn't 671 00:31:03,047 --> 00:31:06,487 Speaker 1: organize it. All the guys that you're dating don't organize. 672 00:31:06,127 --> 00:31:08,767 Speaker 3: It, not one of them, and I've been with one 673 00:31:08,807 --> 00:31:10,407 Speaker 3: for like a month now. I like to come on. 674 00:31:10,927 --> 00:31:12,287 Speaker 3: So I'm like, is this why I need to be 675 00:31:12,327 --> 00:31:13,967 Speaker 3: in a relationship? Because I just maybe I'll do it 676 00:31:14,007 --> 00:31:16,927 Speaker 3: for the birthday next year and then but yeah, anyway, 677 00:31:16,967 --> 00:31:20,447 Speaker 3: that makes your cake. Anyway, My best is straight after 678 00:31:20,527 --> 00:31:23,607 Speaker 3: my birthday, literally the day after I got the flu, 679 00:31:23,887 --> 00:31:24,847 Speaker 3: and I got a week off. 680 00:31:26,767 --> 00:31:27,887 Speaker 1: God, you must love your job. 681 00:31:28,247 --> 00:31:31,647 Speaker 2: I do tell it's my favorite thing. Ever when fill 682 00:31:31,727 --> 00:31:38,727 Speaker 2: in hosts bitch about work and since they're going like you. 683 00:31:38,967 --> 00:31:41,207 Speaker 3: Have nothing to do with it. I was sick, so 684 00:31:41,247 --> 00:31:41,887 Speaker 3: I had the flu. 685 00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:44,967 Speaker 1: So it's better that having the flu than coming to work. 686 00:31:45,207 --> 00:31:49,607 Speaker 3: No no, no, no, wait to be human. Because as 687 00:31:49,687 --> 00:31:52,527 Speaker 3: podcast hosts, and because I host a daily podcast, I 688 00:31:52,567 --> 00:31:54,887 Speaker 3: physically couldn't come into work because firstly, you have to 689 00:31:55,007 --> 00:31:57,847 Speaker 3: sound good and I sounded dreadful. Plus I didn't want 690 00:31:57,847 --> 00:31:59,607 Speaker 3: to get anyone else sick, so I can't work from 691 00:31:59,607 --> 00:32:04,487 Speaker 3: home in my job. Technically I could really wanted to try, 692 00:32:04,607 --> 00:32:06,847 Speaker 3: but I didn't want to try it there. It was 693 00:32:06,887 --> 00:32:07,607 Speaker 3: a first. 694 00:32:10,167 --> 00:32:12,447 Speaker 2: Go on, not what we're doing a podcast with your 695 00:32:12,447 --> 00:32:12,927 Speaker 2: boss at all. 696 00:32:13,607 --> 00:32:14,687 Speaker 3: I'm feeling great right now. 697 00:32:14,847 --> 00:32:17,607 Speaker 1: Not our heroes wear cakes and some of us wear masks. 698 00:32:19,087 --> 00:32:22,567 Speaker 3: It was the first time I've ever taken sick leave 699 00:32:22,887 --> 00:32:26,527 Speaker 3: I think in years, and I made the decision. 700 00:32:26,567 --> 00:32:28,407 Speaker 2: I'll just check, you can check. 701 00:32:30,767 --> 00:32:33,087 Speaker 3: I made the decision. I put my foot down. I 702 00:32:33,127 --> 00:32:35,087 Speaker 3: was like, I'm going to get one hundred percent better 703 00:32:35,167 --> 00:32:36,007 Speaker 3: before I go into work. 704 00:32:36,047 --> 00:32:36,807 Speaker 2: It's called rest. 705 00:32:36,967 --> 00:32:39,007 Speaker 3: I've never done this before, but resting when you're on 706 00:32:39,087 --> 00:32:42,527 Speaker 3: well is the best experience. I came back into work. 707 00:32:43,487 --> 00:32:45,167 Speaker 3: You need to try. You need to get sick and 708 00:32:45,207 --> 00:32:47,887 Speaker 3: try it. I came back into I can take over 709 00:32:47,887 --> 00:32:51,647 Speaker 3: the way you go home. You get me sick again, 710 00:32:52,047 --> 00:32:55,287 Speaker 3: I will gladly take sick leave again. I will gladly 711 00:32:55,367 --> 00:32:57,007 Speaker 3: take work off again, and you'll. 712 00:32:56,887 --> 00:33:00,647 Speaker 2: Have to find another I cannot wait for the fallout 713 00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:06,407 Speaker 2: from that conversation. My worst. We've kind of touched on 714 00:33:06,487 --> 00:33:10,287 Speaker 2: this on the show before, but the arrogance of voice notes. 715 00:33:11,087 --> 00:33:15,967 Speaker 2: My god, you people, not you people. There's someone in 716 00:33:16,007 --> 00:33:19,647 Speaker 2: my life at the moment who keeps sending me voice notes. 717 00:33:19,767 --> 00:33:21,967 Speaker 3: I don't like that, and they do They not know 718 00:33:22,007 --> 00:33:24,687 Speaker 3: you get paid to do this voice notes for free. 719 00:33:25,047 --> 00:33:27,647 Speaker 2: This is like, it's not a hey, I just want 720 00:33:27,687 --> 00:33:29,047 Speaker 2: to tell you about something that's happened in my life. 721 00:33:29,047 --> 00:33:31,367 Speaker 2: They're trying to get something done, and every time I 722 00:33:31,407 --> 00:33:33,807 Speaker 2: open my thing there's a freaking voice note there. And 723 00:33:33,887 --> 00:33:36,927 Speaker 2: I'm doing things. I'm busy, I'm trying to multitask, and 724 00:33:37,007 --> 00:33:39,247 Speaker 2: I have to to listen to this thing. Go and 725 00:33:39,327 --> 00:33:42,727 Speaker 2: find my bag, find my bloody AirPods, make sure they're connected. 726 00:33:43,087 --> 00:33:46,327 Speaker 2: Spend like no, send me a text message like a 727 00:33:46,367 --> 00:33:48,967 Speaker 2: proper human, just saying hey, is this day okay? 728 00:33:49,287 --> 00:33:50,527 Speaker 3: Like, yes it is. 729 00:33:50,807 --> 00:33:52,967 Speaker 2: I don't want to hear your voice. Not the arrogance 730 00:33:53,487 --> 00:33:56,487 Speaker 2: of thinking like people loved to bitch about phones. I'd 731 00:33:56,607 --> 00:33:58,767 Speaker 2: rather she just called me. Just call me and we'll 732 00:33:58,767 --> 00:34:00,407 Speaker 2: sort it out and put the phone down. Move on. 733 00:34:00,727 --> 00:34:01,287 Speaker 2: You know what I mean. 734 00:34:01,367 --> 00:34:02,087 Speaker 4: I feel like you're. 735 00:34:01,967 --> 00:34:04,647 Speaker 3: Saying two different completely, Like what's the difference between a 736 00:34:04,647 --> 00:34:05,647 Speaker 3: phone call and a voice note? 737 00:34:05,647 --> 00:34:07,447 Speaker 2: Because I have to, like, well, a I get to 738 00:34:07,487 --> 00:34:09,647 Speaker 2: choose whether or not I answer the phone, and on 739 00:34:09,727 --> 00:34:12,167 Speaker 2: the phone we can have this thing called synchronous. Is 740 00:34:12,167 --> 00:34:15,407 Speaker 2: that what we're calling it? Synchronous synchronous communication where we 741 00:34:15,487 --> 00:34:18,207 Speaker 2: can solve an issue there and then I'm doing another thing, 742 00:34:18,327 --> 00:34:19,847 Speaker 2: or I'm getting my coffee or I'm working and I 743 00:34:19,887 --> 00:34:21,487 Speaker 2: see I've got a voice note for this person. I 744 00:34:21,487 --> 00:34:23,487 Speaker 2: have to stop my life listen to the voice note. 745 00:34:23,607 --> 00:34:25,567 Speaker 1: That is it different to a text because they're both 746 00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:26,447 Speaker 1: asynchronous For. 747 00:34:26,447 --> 00:34:28,087 Speaker 2: It, I don't need to put my ear buds in 748 00:34:28,127 --> 00:34:29,367 Speaker 2: and stop what I'm doing? 749 00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:32,407 Speaker 1: Extra thing, isn't it? But most voice transcribe it for 750 00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:35,287 Speaker 1: you because you can read faster than we can listen. 751 00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:37,287 Speaker 3: Yes, maybe they're taking the piss out of your job 752 00:34:37,287 --> 00:34:38,487 Speaker 3: and they're like, look, I can do it too. 753 00:34:38,847 --> 00:34:41,407 Speaker 2: No they're not. They're just being lazy and going I 754 00:34:41,447 --> 00:34:42,287 Speaker 2: don't want to type. 755 00:34:42,367 --> 00:34:46,407 Speaker 1: No, it's doing that's saying sorry, I've sent a long email. 756 00:34:46,447 --> 00:34:48,607 Speaker 1: I didn't have time to write a short one to 757 00:34:48,647 --> 00:34:50,807 Speaker 1: be like that. Yes, so I can't be bothered to text, 758 00:34:50,847 --> 00:34:52,607 Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna but I do it in the cart, 759 00:34:52,647 --> 00:34:53,447 Speaker 1: which is also. 760 00:34:53,247 --> 00:34:55,487 Speaker 2: Really pay voice notes. Don't leave me a voice notes. 761 00:34:55,527 --> 00:34:57,607 Speaker 2: I love you, but don't I get the point If 762 00:34:57,607 --> 00:34:59,207 Speaker 2: it's the catch up, you know when we talked about it, 763 00:34:59,207 --> 00:35:00,767 Speaker 2: when someone's like, here's what's going on in my life, 764 00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:02,047 Speaker 2: and I can choose when to listen to it. But 765 00:35:02,047 --> 00:35:04,807 Speaker 2: if we're actually trying to organize something, no, don't do it. Okay, 766 00:35:05,047 --> 00:35:07,527 Speaker 2: the arrogance of voice notes, that's my worst, my best. 767 00:35:07,927 --> 00:35:11,367 Speaker 2: This is just a Brent appreciate ocean moment. Right last 768 00:35:11,407 --> 00:35:13,447 Speaker 2: Friday night, in the town I live in, every year 769 00:35:13,447 --> 00:35:16,447 Speaker 2: they have this little festival and it's like a speech festival. 770 00:35:16,447 --> 00:35:19,247 Speaker 2: It's called a night and anyone can enter. Everyone can 771 00:35:19,287 --> 00:35:21,807 Speaker 2: do a five minute speech like a public speaking yeah, 772 00:35:21,887 --> 00:35:23,647 Speaker 2: and it can be about anything, but it can't be 773 00:35:23,687 --> 00:35:25,207 Speaker 2: longer than five minutes, which is great. 774 00:35:25,487 --> 00:35:26,847 Speaker 3: I love that idea. 775 00:35:26,967 --> 00:35:29,247 Speaker 2: And you have to do PowerPoint slides and there are 776 00:35:29,247 --> 00:35:31,047 Speaker 2: this many of them and they move quickly and it's 777 00:35:31,087 --> 00:35:33,407 Speaker 2: great during that you're so you go and they split 778 00:35:33,407 --> 00:35:35,407 Speaker 2: it up so it's not too boring, and there's wine 779 00:35:35,407 --> 00:35:37,927 Speaker 2: and there's noodles and you know, and basically you Sait 780 00:35:38,007 --> 00:35:41,407 Speaker 2: and I watched us talk about like everything from design 781 00:35:42,127 --> 00:35:46,247 Speaker 2: to ADHD. The ADHD speech was great. It was called 782 00:35:46,287 --> 00:35:48,647 Speaker 2: do I have ADHD? Or Am I an Asshole? Was fantastic. 783 00:35:49,687 --> 00:35:51,167 Speaker 1: Now that makes sense because I thought you were at 784 00:35:51,167 --> 00:35:54,007 Speaker 1: a school speech night and you sent me a slide 785 00:35:54,127 --> 00:35:56,407 Speaker 1: a photo of that slide Do I have ADHD? Or 786 00:35:56,447 --> 00:35:57,167 Speaker 1: Am I an Asshole? 787 00:35:57,207 --> 00:36:02,367 Speaker 2: And I'm like, well that seems little school and they 788 00:36:02,527 --> 00:36:04,607 Speaker 2: like travel and this and that, you know, design things 789 00:36:04,647 --> 00:36:07,647 Speaker 2: that people are into seaweed. Brent did one, because Brent 790 00:36:08,207 --> 00:36:11,327 Speaker 2: always does. He did one about air guitar. And there 791 00:36:11,367 --> 00:36:13,047 Speaker 2: is a little known thing about Brent because I do 792 00:36:13,087 --> 00:36:15,087 Speaker 2: not advertise this for very obvious reasons. 793 00:36:15,167 --> 00:36:16,167 Speaker 3: I think you should that. 794 00:36:16,207 --> 00:36:18,447 Speaker 2: When I first met Brent, which is nearly twenty years ago, 795 00:36:18,527 --> 00:36:21,167 Speaker 2: on our very first date, he told me that he 796 00:36:21,247 --> 00:36:25,207 Speaker 2: had entered a professional air guitar competition before and that 797 00:36:26,447 --> 00:36:29,887 Speaker 2: he was joking, and I went, lol, except I didn't 798 00:36:29,887 --> 00:36:33,847 Speaker 2: say that, because we didn't say that. Then you genuinely like, actually, 799 00:36:34,127 --> 00:36:38,647 Speaker 2: she said horror, horror, horror, a pirate. But he wasn't joking. 800 00:36:38,967 --> 00:36:41,367 Speaker 2: And one of his hobbies for the first couple of 801 00:36:41,487 --> 00:36:47,967 Speaker 2: years of our relationship was entering professional air guitar competitions 802 00:36:48,007 --> 00:36:51,007 Speaker 2: and I had to go and watch. You probably don't 803 00:36:51,047 --> 00:36:53,727 Speaker 2: know this, but there's a worldwide air guitar championship in 804 00:36:53,767 --> 00:36:58,207 Speaker 2: Finland every year. I didn't know, and Australia sends one person, Brent. 805 00:36:58,407 --> 00:37:00,167 Speaker 2: It wasn't Brent. He never made it to the finals. 806 00:37:00,207 --> 00:37:02,767 Speaker 2: He's very upset. He's a competitors held in camera every year. 807 00:37:02,847 --> 00:37:07,367 Speaker 2: Big deal, right Anyway, I have always been deeply ashamed 808 00:37:07,407 --> 00:37:09,967 Speaker 2: about this about my Brent, because he's a great guy. 809 00:37:10,007 --> 00:37:12,287 Speaker 2: But I'm like, that's the most mortifying shit. No one 810 00:37:12,327 --> 00:37:14,887 Speaker 2: needs to know about that. And then on Friday night 811 00:37:14,927 --> 00:37:16,727 Speaker 2: he gave a speech for five minutes in front of 812 00:37:16,727 --> 00:37:19,327 Speaker 2: all these people that we know and many that we don't, 813 00:37:19,887 --> 00:37:22,207 Speaker 2: about his professional air guitar career, and then at the 814 00:37:22,327 --> 00:37:24,327 Speaker 2: end of it, he did thirty seconds of a guitar. 815 00:37:25,407 --> 00:37:26,927 Speaker 3: I love him. 816 00:37:26,127 --> 00:37:31,047 Speaker 2: And what I realized, which I have realized obviously over 817 00:37:31,087 --> 00:37:34,567 Speaker 2: the course of our relationship, is that although it's mortifying 818 00:37:34,567 --> 00:37:37,327 Speaker 2: to me because I'm much more interested in my own 819 00:37:37,607 --> 00:37:40,007 Speaker 2: self image than he is, one of the very best 820 00:37:40,007 --> 00:37:42,927 Speaker 2: things about Brent and people like Brent is being cool 821 00:37:43,247 --> 00:37:45,687 Speaker 2: is so far down his list of priorities. It isn't 822 00:37:45,727 --> 00:37:48,247 Speaker 2: there right. He just is like, I like doing this. 823 00:37:48,847 --> 00:37:51,367 Speaker 2: Who gives a shit, I'm doing it, And it's one 824 00:37:51,367 --> 00:37:54,807 Speaker 2: of the things that actually makes him a really excellent person. 825 00:37:54,927 --> 00:37:57,927 Speaker 2: He doesn't pretend to be someone he isn't. He doesn't like. 826 00:37:58,167 --> 00:37:59,127 Speaker 1: Very attractive quality. 827 00:37:59,127 --> 00:38:01,727 Speaker 2: He's very who he is, and sometimes who he is 828 00:38:01,727 --> 00:38:06,167 Speaker 2: is really embarrassing, but hey, that's life. And so I 829 00:38:06,247 --> 00:38:08,007 Speaker 2: watched him do it, and instead of dying, which I 830 00:38:08,047 --> 00:38:10,007 Speaker 2: thought I was going to, I was like, do I 831 00:38:10,007 --> 00:38:12,087 Speaker 2: really have to come? And then I was like, no, 832 00:38:12,167 --> 00:38:15,247 Speaker 2: support him supporting me or supports you. I actually had 833 00:38:15,287 --> 00:38:17,767 Speaker 2: like tears of laughter, enjoy running down my face, and 834 00:38:17,807 --> 00:38:20,727 Speaker 2: I was like, look at that freaking idiot. Go I 835 00:38:20,767 --> 00:38:21,287 Speaker 2: love him. 836 00:38:21,527 --> 00:38:23,807 Speaker 3: I thought he was great. Can I be honest like 837 00:38:23,807 --> 00:38:25,127 Speaker 3: I thought he was great? And I was like, I 838 00:38:25,167 --> 00:38:27,447 Speaker 3: think it's a risky you posted it because a lot 839 00:38:27,447 --> 00:38:28,567 Speaker 3: of single women follow you. 840 00:38:29,687 --> 00:38:31,967 Speaker 2: I don't think so, A lot a lot of women 841 00:38:32,047 --> 00:38:35,887 Speaker 2: just gave me this anyway, that's my best for the week. 842 00:38:35,927 --> 00:38:37,967 Speaker 2: I loved it. That is all we Oh, it's not 843 00:38:38,047 --> 00:38:39,007 Speaker 2: all we have time for. 844 00:38:39,407 --> 00:38:41,087 Speaker 1: We also are going to tell you what else we've 845 00:38:41,087 --> 00:38:44,567 Speaker 1: got on our podcast this week. Because we all freelance, freestyle, 846 00:38:44,887 --> 00:38:48,767 Speaker 1: side hustle on other shows, we all cheat on this one. 847 00:38:48,887 --> 00:38:51,967 Speaker 1: On No Filter this week, I interviewed Raina Cohen and 848 00:38:52,047 --> 00:38:54,247 Speaker 1: we discussed the idea of what if our friends are 849 00:38:54,287 --> 00:38:57,167 Speaker 1: our soulmates? It's really interesting. It's about the idea of 850 00:38:57,287 --> 00:39:01,287 Speaker 1: prioritizing friendships over having a partner. And you should have 851 00:39:01,367 --> 00:39:04,527 Speaker 1: had a significant other who was a friend or going 852 00:39:04,527 --> 00:39:05,527 Speaker 1: to have your birthday cakere you? 853 00:39:05,567 --> 00:39:06,967 Speaker 2: Should you need a comment? 854 00:39:07,207 --> 00:39:07,447 Speaker 3: Yeah? 855 00:39:07,487 --> 00:39:08,447 Speaker 1: Who did you talk to me? 856 00:39:08,807 --> 00:39:10,847 Speaker 2: I talked to Katherine May, who is an author, a 857 00:39:10,887 --> 00:39:12,887 Speaker 2: British author who I love because she wrote a book 858 00:39:12,927 --> 00:39:15,567 Speaker 2: called Wintering that went really nuts. Joining me I'm always 859 00:39:15,567 --> 00:39:19,007 Speaker 2: speaking about that. It was about rest and burnout. So 860 00:39:19,047 --> 00:39:22,967 Speaker 2: you would have liked to m company at this episode, 861 00:39:22,967 --> 00:39:26,327 Speaker 2: but no, it was about burnout. And she has a 862 00:39:26,407 --> 00:39:29,047 Speaker 2: very clear way of defining burnout, which is what happens 863 00:39:29,047 --> 00:39:32,647 Speaker 2: to you when you consistently deprioritize your own needs. And 864 00:39:32,687 --> 00:39:34,847 Speaker 2: a lot of midlife women obviously are doing that. They're caring, 865 00:39:34,887 --> 00:39:37,287 Speaker 2: they're working, they're caring, they're working. And then she has 866 00:39:37,327 --> 00:39:40,327 Speaker 2: this sort of radical point that all the things we're 867 00:39:40,327 --> 00:39:42,927 Speaker 2: told to do to cure it slow down. Dahl basically, 868 00:39:42,967 --> 00:39:45,287 Speaker 2: you know, meditate, you do this, and that is almost 869 00:39:45,327 --> 00:39:47,967 Speaker 2: impossible when you've got a lot of responsibilities and was 870 00:39:48,007 --> 00:39:51,007 Speaker 2: almost certainly like designed by a guy. She was like 871 00:39:51,047 --> 00:39:53,127 Speaker 2: she once went on this meditation retreat and the guy 872 00:39:53,127 --> 00:39:55,407 Speaker 2: who was leading it was like, so three times a day, 873 00:39:55,887 --> 00:39:57,567 Speaker 2: just take your half an hour and she's like. 874 00:39:57,687 --> 00:39:58,447 Speaker 4: What are you doing? 875 00:39:58,727 --> 00:40:01,647 Speaker 2: Who's looking after your children? Like what's going anyway? So 876 00:40:02,167 --> 00:40:05,087 Speaker 2: it's a really really great episode, if I say so myself, 877 00:40:05,087 --> 00:40:06,447 Speaker 2: but that's not because of me, it's kind of hers. 878 00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:09,087 Speaker 2: Great Catherine may burnout. What did you do this week? 879 00:40:09,287 --> 00:40:10,967 Speaker 3: This week, I did a lot of things. I wasn't 880 00:40:11,007 --> 00:40:12,807 Speaker 3: resting this week, just so you know, Just so you know, 881 00:40:13,647 --> 00:40:15,447 Speaker 3: we talked all about a lot of things on the spill. 882 00:40:15,487 --> 00:40:18,247 Speaker 3: It's obviously a daily podcast, but one of my favorite 883 00:40:18,247 --> 00:40:20,087 Speaker 3: episodes we did was earlier in the week. We talked 884 00:40:20,087 --> 00:40:24,487 Speaker 3: about Northwest as Simba in the Lion King thirtieth Reunion 885 00:40:24,487 --> 00:40:29,887 Speaker 3: thirtieth Concerts, Northwest being Kim Kardashian west Child. 886 00:40:30,047 --> 00:40:32,447 Speaker 2: A lot of snarky tone about that poor kid. 887 00:40:33,687 --> 00:40:34,567 Speaker 3: No, you don't feel bad. 888 00:40:34,567 --> 00:40:36,007 Speaker 2: It's not her fault. It is her fault. 889 00:40:36,047 --> 00:40:39,047 Speaker 1: I'm sorry from what I heard on this bill. Kim 890 00:40:39,167 --> 00:40:41,927 Speaker 1: got her her own like she was in the proper 891 00:40:41,967 --> 00:40:44,327 Speaker 1: Broadway production of The Linking Right, which I've seen many times. 892 00:40:44,327 --> 00:40:47,007 Speaker 1: The costumes are amazing. Hudson was in there, it was huge, 893 00:40:47,047 --> 00:40:50,927 Speaker 1: but she got a special costume designed for Northwest, so 894 00:40:51,007 --> 00:40:54,167 Speaker 1: Northwest looked like she was in a completely different show. 895 00:40:54,687 --> 00:40:57,967 Speaker 2: Every other costume I mean, crikey, but this is this 896 00:40:58,087 --> 00:40:59,287 Speaker 2: North's fault. Anyway. 897 00:40:59,967 --> 00:41:03,487 Speaker 3: Anyway, we talked about and we talked about Northwest, the 898 00:41:03,487 --> 00:41:05,567 Speaker 3: biggest ever baby out there right now, She's not even 899 00:41:05,607 --> 00:41:08,447 Speaker 3: trying to hide it. And the secondhand embarrassment I got 900 00:41:08,447 --> 00:41:09,167 Speaker 3: from her performance. 901 00:41:09,447 --> 00:41:11,287 Speaker 2: That is all we have time for today. I think 902 00:41:11,327 --> 00:41:13,687 Speaker 2: we've talked a lot for Friday. It's been very fun. 903 00:41:13,727 --> 00:41:16,647 Speaker 2: Thank you to you and for filling in for Jesse. 904 00:41:16,767 --> 00:41:19,647 Speaker 2: You've been great. Thank you. 905 00:41:19,647 --> 00:41:21,047 Speaker 3: No, I'm going to log this in my app tonight. 906 00:41:22,047 --> 00:41:23,127 Speaker 1: Take it rost day off. 907 00:41:23,807 --> 00:41:27,647 Speaker 2: Oh my god. Thank you to our team that is 908 00:41:27,727 --> 00:41:30,847 Speaker 2: the amazing Emma Ling Gazillous, the assistant producer Charlie Blackman, 909 00:41:31,127 --> 00:41:34,487 Speaker 2: audio producer Leah Porges, and our brand manager Kerry Scott Jackson. 910 00:41:34,727 --> 00:41:38,847 Speaker 2: We'll see you all next week. Goodbye bye. You're beautiful. 911 00:41:38,847 --> 00:41:41,967 Speaker 2: Have I told you lately? You're beautiful? Mea, You're so beautiful. 912 00:41:45,287 --> 00:41:48,127 Speaker 2: Shout out to any Mama Mia subscribers listening. If you 913 00:41:48,327 --> 00:41:51,167 Speaker 2: love the show and you want to support us, subscribing 914 00:41:51,207 --> 00:41:53,647 Speaker 2: to Momma Mia is the very best way to do it. 915 00:41:53,807 --> 00:41:55,687 Speaker 2: There's a link in the episode description.