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Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.

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Speaker 2: Mamma Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters

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Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded.

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Speaker 3: On out Louders.

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Speaker 2: If you're missing us and your weekly out loud routine,

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Speaker 2: and of course you are, because why wouldn't you be,

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Speaker 2: we wanted to let you know that over the summer,

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Speaker 2: we are still dropping episodes for Mamma Mia subscribers all

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Speaker 2: holidays long. As a subscriber, you're going to get full

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Speaker 2: access to out loud, including the back catalog of over

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Speaker 2: two hundred and fifty subscriber only episodes, so that will

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Speaker 2: keep you busy for a really long time when you

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Speaker 2: want to avoid your family at all costs. Subscribe to

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Speaker 2: Mamma Mia via the link in the episode description.

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Speaker 1: Hey, out louders, it's Mia here, and I'm here to

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Speaker 1: tell you about our hot pod summer. I know that

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Speaker 1: you can't get away from us, because why would you

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Speaker 1: want to? But you know where the friends in your ears?

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Speaker 1: And the truth is, we didn't want to leave you

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Speaker 1: hanging without our lovely tones and wise words over the

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Speaker 1: holidays and just all our nonsense because you know, me,

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Speaker 1: Holly and Jesse all got together. We picked our favorite

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Speaker 1: out Loud episodes from the year because we wanted to

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Speaker 1: share them with you over the summer, and the ones

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Speaker 1: which made us laugh really hard, and the ones where

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Speaker 1: Holly told me off in the way that only Holly

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Speaker 1: can sometimes I laugh so much I weed that's a thing.

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Speaker 1: And also the ones where Jesse insisted she was the

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Speaker 1: most medically qualified of the three of us, which really

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Speaker 1: is questionable. They're a vibe and one that we wanted

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Speaker 1: to share with you out louders. Listen and enjoy.

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Speaker 3: What's your cheat code for life? The thing you swear

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Speaker 3: by that opens doors makes everything easier and you wish

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Speaker 3: you knew earlier. There is a Reddit thread going viral

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Speaker 3: where people share their insights, and some are pretty obvious,

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Speaker 3: from looking people in the eye to learning to say

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Speaker 3: no to getting enough sleep. Here are some other popular

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Speaker 3: examples I came across. Get everything in writing, So if

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Speaker 3: you're in a meeting and your manager promises you something,

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Speaker 3: then make sure you get them to email it to you.

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Speaker 3: Or let's say your accountant assures you of something and

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Speaker 3: it just sounds a bit like I would want to

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Speaker 3: just confirm that, get it in writing. Another one is

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Speaker 3: you can make more friends in two months by becoming

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Speaker 3: interested in other people than you can in two years

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Speaker 3: by trying to get other people interested in you.

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Speaker 2: That's very good advice.

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Speaker 3: I love that one. And no one stops someone carrying pizza.

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Speaker 3: You can get backstage at concerts. Now we don't can

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Speaker 3: don't trespassing, but think about it. If someone came to

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Speaker 3: this off and they just had a few things of

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Speaker 3: pizza and it smelt good, I'd let them in if

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Speaker 3: you were backstage, if we were backstage at Out Loud,

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Speaker 3: back to go on stage for our show.

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Speaker 1: Don't give people ideas unless they have pizza in which

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Speaker 1: come on after the.

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Speaker 3: Show you're allowed. We asked people in the Mummeya office

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Speaker 3: what their cheat code to life is and here's what

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Speaker 3: they told us.

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Speaker 4: My life pack is don't put the email address of

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Speaker 4: the person you're emailing in until you've written and table

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Speaker 4: checked your email. It really saves any unedited or unfinished

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Speaker 4: emails being sent accidentally.

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Speaker 5: The biggest lesson it was actually from my dad that

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Speaker 5: my dad ever taught me was always admit when you've

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Speaker 5: made a mistake. If you can do anything in life

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Speaker 5: is always admit when you're wrong and when you've made

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Speaker 5: a mistake, because that way, you're always going to reflect

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Speaker 5: on your behavior and your role in something, and it

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Speaker 5: also makes you look at the other side of things.

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Speaker 1: When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I try to take a moment and.

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Speaker 2: Take five deep breaths.

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Speaker 1: I think this helps me process what has happened and

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Speaker 1: to not overreact.

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Speaker 6: When I'm talking to someone new, I try to remember

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Speaker 6: one personal fact about them. If I know that I'm

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Speaker 6: going to see them again, like the name of their

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Speaker 6: dog or what suburb they live in, I can ask

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Speaker 6: them about it the next time I see them. Then

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Speaker 6: they know that I've listened to them and that I

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Speaker 6: care what they're saying, and hopefully they can become more

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Speaker 6: trusting of me after that.

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Speaker 7: So if I'm ever in a situation where I'm asked

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Speaker 7: for my opinion about something that's important or a big

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Speaker 7: decision or something that I just know is going to

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Speaker 7: take a lot of thoughts just in the moment saying hey,

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Speaker 7: let me just sleep on this and get back to

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Speaker 7: you tomorrow. I used to think that I needed to

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Speaker 7: sort of have an answer straight away ready to go,

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Speaker 7: but sleeping on something just always gives me so much

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Speaker 7: more clarity.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so my friend has this great cheek code. She

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Speaker 3: always looks smart at the airport, and she reckons that's

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Speaker 3: the secret to getting upgraded to business class.

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Speaker 8: One of the best things I got from a parenting

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Speaker 8: book is just add water. So if your kid is

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Speaker 8: losing their shit, you either put them outside with the sprinklers,

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Speaker 8: throw them in the bath, or give them a drink

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Speaker 8: of water. I've actually started doing that myself and it

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Speaker 8: is a game changer. So if I've got a tough

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Speaker 8: decision to make, or if i want to go and

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Speaker 8: yell at someone, I'll take a shower first, I'll drink

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Speaker 8: a glass of water. It always calms me down, and

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Speaker 8: it always works.

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Speaker 1: How that is Hollywood's enthusiastically agreeing with almost all of

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Speaker 1: those shoes, Like, yep, yep, that works, Yep, I agree,

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Speaker 1: I do.

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Speaker 2: I don't do them all, but they're all very good.

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Speaker 3: I also asked the out louders if they had any

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Speaker 3: and here are some that they came up with. I

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Speaker 3: really like this one from Brooks. She says, I'm a

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Speaker 3: big fan of don't put it down, put it away,

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Speaker 3: So you're not allowed to, like just put your bag down.

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Speaker 3: It's got a place, put it away. Another one from Kirby.

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Speaker 3: Every Sunday I make uniform packs for each kid, so

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Speaker 3: school uniform undie sox, roll it up and put a

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Speaker 3: rubber band around it. They go in baskets in our buffet,

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Speaker 3: and each morning kids go and grab their own pack

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Speaker 3: and get dressed. I wish I was like her, I'm

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Speaker 3: not too. Another one that I really liked was from Chloe.

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Speaker 3: This is again for kids, which is every time you're

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Speaker 3: giving medication, text your partner what time because you forget,

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Speaker 3: you know how it's got to be like four or

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Speaker 3: six hours away. But if you don't have a partner,

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Speaker 3: text anyone, text yourself. Yeah, make a note of it, Liz,

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Speaker 3: good quality roboback. I would really like a robovacum. My

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Speaker 3: other one actually is, and I've started doing this, I

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Speaker 3: never regret it is taking a photo of where I

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Speaker 3: parked that body.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I have just doing that.

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Speaker 2: And then I also take a photo of if you're

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Speaker 2: in the shopping center, the place that you enter the

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Speaker 2: shopping center, because it's all very well knowing you're on

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Speaker 2: C seven, but you can't remember where C seven is

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Speaker 2: exactly right, And if you know that, you came in

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Speaker 2: next to T two.

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Speaker 3: Then you're fine, Yes, yes, Maya. You had a birthday

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Speaker 3: this week, so i'd hope that you'd learned a few lessons.

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Speaker 3: What are some of your cheat codes?

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Speaker 1: I have written down four I could just think of

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Speaker 1: off the top of my head.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: The first is if you are someone who has to

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Speaker 1: have daily medication but you sometimes can't remember if you've

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Speaker 1: had it or not. I now have a pill box

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Speaker 1: with the days, and I just dispense all my pills,

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Speaker 1: you know, every couple of weeks into this pill box.

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Speaker 1: But the other way to do it is to say

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Speaker 1: out loud, I'm having my pill now on Tuesday. As

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Speaker 1: you have it, I say it out.

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Speaker 3: You'd be so annoying to live with. I know you're

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Speaker 3: annoying to live.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you did.

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Speaker 3: Where do you buy those pill boxes?

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Speaker 1: Chemist?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Or Amazon? Chemists?

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Speaker 3: You think you know, and then you get into bed

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Speaker 3: and you go, no, no, I took that pill.

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Speaker 1: Ye was that yesterday? And it's like, I think I

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Speaker 1: have a memory of taking that pill. I'm always living

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Speaker 1: in my head and half the time I'm on an

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Speaker 1: automatic pilot. I don't remember what I've done or what

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Speaker 1: I haven't done. It might not be a pill It

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Speaker 1: might be if you always forget to turn off your

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Speaker 1: hair straight now and you know you're driving to work

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Speaker 1: and you're like, did I turn it up? And you're like, so, like,

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Speaker 1: I'm turning off my hair straightener today on Tuesday.

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Speaker 3: I love it. It's so weird.

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Speaker 2: Moving on my next.

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Speaker 1: To lie.

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Speaker 2: That's like how you tell come live with me, knock

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Speaker 2: your head up three times on the pillow, and go,

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Speaker 2: I will not have a bad dream tonight.

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Speaker 1: I've found another cheak code. If you don't want to

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Speaker 1: have a bad dream, just before you go to sleep,

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Speaker 1: imagine white color white, like white, like looking at a

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Speaker 1: white sheet, like with your eyes closed, a white wall

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Speaker 1: or something like that. If you just think white, white, white,

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Speaker 1: and then you won't have a bad.

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Speaker 2: Scientific take away.

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Speaker 1: My next cheak code for life is when I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: really emotional and I'm having big feelings that seem out

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Speaker 1: of proportion to the thing that's happening.

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Speaker 3: That that doesn't happen very often, so I don't know

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Speaker 3: why you would need a cheat code.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much, happy except I always forget this cheat code,

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Speaker 1: but please from mine. I had a therapist who used

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Speaker 1: to do this and she would say, how old do

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Speaker 1: you feel right now? Pet? She would say, and that

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Speaker 1: sounds passive aggressive, but she was never being passive aggressive.

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Speaker 1: She like, I didn't mind her calling me pet, but

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Speaker 1: it was very clarifying. It immediately tunes you in or

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Speaker 1: tunes me into, going, I feel six years old? What

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Speaker 1: was going on in my life when I was six

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Speaker 1: years old? What does this feel like to me? And

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Speaker 1: if you literally say to yourself, either out loud or

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Speaker 1: in your head, particularly if you're having an argument with someone,

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Speaker 1: if you just are like, how well do you feel

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Speaker 1: right now? Pet? So here's something I warn against. He's

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Speaker 1: asking your partner bash because I've tried that with my

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Speaker 1: partner and he's tried that with me because we were

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Speaker 1: at the therapist together and we both found it pretty useful.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, that can make things a bit worse. But

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Speaker 1: I find that to me to be really clarifying because

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Speaker 1: at the time, you genuinely do believe that your big

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Speaker 1: feeling is about this thing, but it feels like you've

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Speaker 1: been a bit taken over and you don't understand why

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Speaker 1: you're so upset. Anyway, So that helps my next one.

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Speaker 1: And I've got so many Okay, this is a really

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Speaker 1: good one. How to make a decision. So you know,

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Speaker 1: when you're a bit like I don't know, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Sometimes you can overthink it,

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Speaker 1: you can over intellectualize it, and you just need to

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Speaker 1: get in touch with your gut. And your gut is

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Speaker 1: actually not we will, it's actually just the accumulation of

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Speaker 1: all the experiences that you've ever had. And your gut

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Speaker 1: is good. So what you do is you say to yourself,

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Speaker 1: should I go to this part? I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I want to go to this party or not. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. Can I be bothered? Say

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Speaker 1: to yourself, I'm definitely going to this party. I'm definitely going,

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Speaker 1: as if you've made the decision, and see what emotion

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Speaker 1: comes up in you. And it might be relief, it

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Speaker 1: might be dread, dread, it might be nausea, exciting, and

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Speaker 1: then just observe that for a second and then just go, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely not going to this party. And observe what

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Speaker 1: And it might be relief, it might be disappointment. It

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Speaker 1: might be And someone taught me that when I didn't

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Speaker 1: know whether I should move overseas to New York, or

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Speaker 1: take your job as editor of Cosmo. And I was

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Speaker 1: really torn because they were both pretty exciting opportunities, and

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Speaker 1: she talked me through that, and it's something that I've

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Speaker 1: used a lot of times since and it never gets

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Speaker 1: me wrong. And then the last one is something I

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Speaker 1: learned from this podcast many years ago. Instead of saying

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, say thank you for your understanding, and then

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Speaker 1: you kind of manipulate someone into not being mad with you.

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Speaker 3: So like in emails or like in meetings.

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Speaker 1: Or like I'm so sorry I'm late, it's like, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for understanding I've just had the worst morning,

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Speaker 1: or yes I couldn't kind of part.

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Speaker 3: You've said as well. When I say i'm sorry, I

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Speaker 3: then put some responsibility on you to make me feel better,

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Speaker 3: which is really annoying for the person who's been.

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Speaker 1: Saying like I'm so sorry and they're just like yeah.

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Speaker 1: But if you just go thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: understanding or for not leaving or whatever, it is like

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Speaker 1: it flips it and it gives the person a compliment

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Speaker 1: and some status for being a good person and kind

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Speaker 1: of tricks them into being less mad with you.

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Speaker 3: Holly, what do you have Okay, you have some cheakcakes.

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Speaker 2: I have no practical ones because my practical life is terrible.

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Speaker 2: You know the people who are like like the lady

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Speaker 2: with the school uniform. I wish I was that, but

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Speaker 2: I'm never that, and I just can't get my shit

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Speaker 2: together in that way. But I have like other ones

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Speaker 2: this one. Who did we seal this from me? I'm

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Speaker 2: always fuck first?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yes, that was from Dan Savage who has this podcast.

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Speaker 2: This is very good advice.

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Speaker 3: I find does mean that you should say with people

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Speaker 3: all the time away.

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Speaker 2: What it means. So this is particularly good advice for

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Speaker 2: a phase in your life. Right, So imagine this. You

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Speaker 2: and your partner have got a date night, and it's

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Speaker 2: rare that you've got a date night because you know,

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Speaker 2: you've got kids and you've got whatever. But maybe you

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Speaker 2: find the kids out to their grandparents for the night,

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Speaker 2: maybe whatever, and you go, it's gonna be great. We're

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Speaker 2: gonna go out for a meal, we're gonna have cocktails,

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Speaker 2: and we're gonna come home, we're gonna have sex. Gonna

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Speaker 2: be great. No, you're not, you know what I mean. Like,

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Speaker 2: by the time you've gone out and you've had the

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Speaker 2: cocktails and you've eaten the food, and what you want

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Speaker 2: to do when you come back is lin on the

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Speaker 2: couch and watch something stupidep.

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Speaker 1: You feel bloated, you'll get sloppy.

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Speaker 2: Fuck first. Always getting ready for a wedding, it's a

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Speaker 2: sauning date. Fuck first, then go out, got a dinner date,

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Speaker 2: Fuck first, always fuck first. That is the best.

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Speaker 3: You got a big meal. You're not feeling.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: Late night sex is not it when you're not like

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Speaker 2: it's different when you're in a different phase of your life.

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Speaker 2: But when you're an established so they go you weren't

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Speaker 2: expecting a sex cheek.

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Speaker 1: Because then you have an empty stomach.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And also about with the spring in your step,

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Speaker 2: and then when you sit there at dinner, you're not like,

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Speaker 2: it's just good. It's just always a good plan.

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Speaker 1: It's very sound.

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Speaker 2: I really like that one. You too, won't agree with

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Speaker 2: me about this. Anyone who bitches to you is also

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Speaker 2: bitching about you.

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Speaker 1: That is a fine bitchy words to live by.

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Speaker 2: You know how we often talk about how you need

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Speaker 2: people in your life. You can bitch too, and you

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Speaker 2: do right like generally, But people who always bitch to

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Speaker 2: you about everybody. They are also bitching to everybody.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, without question, but I'm not bitching about everybody

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Speaker 3: on my bitch about like two people to you, but

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Speaker 3: I'm not bitching about you. Do you believe me?

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, she doesn't.

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Speaker 1: I realized that about when I used to get Brazilian

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Speaker 1: bikini waxes and my waxa used to tell me things

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Speaker 1: about her other clients. Yes, And I was a bit like, no,

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Speaker 1: that's true.

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Speaker 2: Right in professional settings, this is particularly true.

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Speaker 3: I agree.

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Speaker 2: Like, sometimes you'll interview someone for a job when I've

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Speaker 2: been a manager, and actually me is terrible this because

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Speaker 2: she always tries to get people to bitch in job interviews.

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Speaker 2: But like if the person that you're interviewing will bitch

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Speaker 2: about their current employer, but it's a test hire them.

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Speaker 3: That's why I do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is.

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Speaker 1: It's a and forgossip pos Thank you for your understanding,

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Speaker 1: but I love it.

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Speaker 2: Listening and changing your mind is a sign of strength,

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Speaker 2: not weakness.

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Speaker 1: One hundred Every time strong opinions lose me.

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Speaker 2: Hell, people who are very much like you know, oh

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Speaker 2: you used to think this, and no you think that,

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Speaker 2: and you said that that time and all that stuff.

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Speaker 2: They don't know what they're doing. Those people, they're silly.

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Speaker 2: And if you don't have a better idea, shut the

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Speaker 2: fuck up. That is something I was by a lot.

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Speaker 2: You know, when you're just like I don't like that,

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Speaker 2: that's wrong. Da da da da da, And you can

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Speaker 2: get into a really negative cycle. You've got to ask yourself,

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Speaker 2: have I got a better idea? Do I think?

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Speaker 3: How would I do it? And is it honestly better?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Is it better? Always?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? That's and can you be bothered to do it?

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Speaker 3: Because you probably can't, in which case, forget about it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 3: There are some Okay, mine are weird. Good one that

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Speaker 3: I have is about memory. I've said it before, years

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Speaker 3: and years ago, but this is something I did when

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Speaker 3: I was studying at school, and I read this fact

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Speaker 3: somewhere and the fact might not be true. It doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: If you want to remember something, memorize something, whether it's

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Speaker 3: like a speech or a fact or notes. I'll print

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Speaker 3: it on green paper. I read it once. Apparently if

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Speaker 3: you read off green paper, it's a trigger for memory.

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Speaker 2: Do you have green paper for that purpose?

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Speaker 3: I used to. I haven't needed it recently, But if

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Speaker 3: I was like doing a speech where I felt like

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Speaker 3: I needed to know this completely off by heart, I

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Speaker 3: would do it on green paper.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if you can replicate that on your phone,

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Speaker 1: because I mean, who's going to go out and buy

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Speaker 1: green paper?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 7: See?

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Speaker 3: I always do paper. I think phones very very different.

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Speaker 3: I think that my brain is wired to forget everything

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Speaker 3: I look at that's on a screen. I think when

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Speaker 3: it's on paper, it holds totally different.

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Speaker 1: So did you like print out all your school notes

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Speaker 1: on green paper?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yep, and how green green that I'm still like,

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00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:24,767
Speaker 3: read it like that the black is still visible. But

367
00:16:25,007 --> 00:16:27,887
Speaker 3: even if it's not, if I'm telling my brain this

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Speaker 3: green paper means I'll memorize it, it's like pale green.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So that's always helped me. My rule for emails or

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Speaker 3: messages or anything is do not open it until you

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Speaker 3: can reply.

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Speaker 2: That's a really good rule because I always forget that rule,

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Speaker 2: and that's why I'm very bad on email. I've got

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Speaker 2: a minute, I'm going to read it. I'll go. I'll

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Speaker 2: get back to that later. No, I won't.

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Speaker 3: Now, my memory is not good enough for that. I

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Speaker 3: use the Pomodori method for just about everything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So timing yep. I have a stop watch for everything

381
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Speaker 3: I do. What it is, It's like, recently, I had

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Speaker 3: this big ish project that I had to complete, and

383
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Speaker 3: it was like pulling teeth. I just was not enjoying

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Speaker 3: any I knew I needed to do it, but it

385
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:09,487
Speaker 3: was a job, and every time I sat down to

386
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Speaker 3: do it, I would go, you're going to do twenty minutes.

387
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Speaker 3: Look at the clock, time it now, and just get

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Speaker 3: twenty minutes of it.

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Speaker 1: So it's like you almost have to sneak up on yourself. Yep.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do that. I set thirty minutes on my

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Speaker 2: phone and then I put my phone in a drawer

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Speaker 2: somewhere away yep. And then when my thirty minutes goes off,

393
00:17:27,007 --> 00:17:28,727
Speaker 2: that I focus. I'm allowed to play with my phone

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Speaker 2: for four minutes.

395
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Speaker 1: Then I have to put another timer on.

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Speaker 3: It actually makes you satisfied because sometimes when you're doing projects,

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00:17:35,447 --> 00:17:38,047
Speaker 3: you can spend twenty minutes doing something and you've got

398
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Speaker 3: no more words, and you actually don't feel like you've

399
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Speaker 3: got anywhere, but you always have. So it's a way

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00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:47,207
Speaker 3: of measuring progress. Another one I have is when you're

401
00:17:47,207 --> 00:17:51,047
Speaker 3: speaking to someone and they're telling you something, say you're right,

402
00:17:51,247 --> 00:17:54,847
Speaker 3: rather than I know, like if I'm really engaged and hoy,

403
00:17:54,887 --> 00:17:57,807
Speaker 3: you're telling me about the substance and your analysis of it,

404
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:01,007
Speaker 3: and I say, yeah, I know, yeah, I know. It's

405
00:18:01,087 --> 00:18:03,287
Speaker 3: quite dismissive and it sounds like I think I know everything.

406
00:18:03,807 --> 00:18:07,047
Speaker 3: It makes you feel a lot smarter if I'm like, oh, yeah,

407
00:18:07,047 --> 00:18:09,727
Speaker 3: you're right, you're right, it's true, which I think is

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Speaker 3: helpful for relation.

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Speaker 1: That's interesting. A tangent on that is that I found

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00:18:14,207 --> 00:18:16,327
Speaker 1: this particularly when I had little kids and everyone's giving

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00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,927
Speaker 1: you a lot of advice. Oh, and people like push

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00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:21,967
Speaker 1: it onto you, and I used to try and push

413
00:18:22,087 --> 00:18:23,607
Speaker 1: back it, like I used to resent it, and then

414
00:18:23,607 --> 00:18:27,567
Speaker 1: I realized they'll keep going until you say, what a

415
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:30,247
Speaker 1: great idea? Yeah, that will shut them up. Then they'll

416
00:18:30,287 --> 00:18:32,567
Speaker 1: move on because they think that you're going to do

417
00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:34,527
Speaker 1: it and you're not. But you just say that to

418
00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:36,687
Speaker 1: make them star. You just go. That is such a

419
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Speaker 1: if anyone's giving you advice you don't want to take.

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Speaker 3: My last one is argue the point, not the person

421
00:18:43,607 --> 00:18:45,687
Speaker 3: related to that, and never argue on the internet. But

422
00:18:46,127 --> 00:18:49,607
Speaker 3: anyone I see, or even if I'm having a discussion

423
00:18:49,927 --> 00:18:53,127
Speaker 3: or an argument with someone, there is a threshold by

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Speaker 3: which they've completely lost me. And it's like any name calling,

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00:18:56,407 --> 00:18:59,887
Speaker 3: even in people that I really respect their opinion, it's

426
00:19:00,047 --> 00:19:02,967
Speaker 3: like at that point, I've just write it off. And

427
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:06,527
Speaker 3: it's something that's really really hard to keep yourself accountable for.

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Speaker 3: And I think I'm better at it now than I

429
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Speaker 3: was five years ago. Oh and hopefully in five years

430
00:19:10,327 --> 00:19:12,887
Speaker 3: I'll be much much better at it. But like playing

431
00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:14,647
Speaker 3: the ball, not the player or whatever.

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Speaker 1: So you mean, like the way the Internet's made everyone

433
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Speaker 1: jump straight to you're a racist, you're a fascist, yere.

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Speaker 2: Or even like the vice presidential debate this week, Roundly

435
00:19:24,887 --> 00:19:27,247
Speaker 2: people are generally saying Jade Vance won that, and all

436
00:19:27,287 --> 00:19:30,167
Speaker 2: the leftist people don't like him, right, including myself. But

437
00:19:30,287 --> 00:19:32,607
Speaker 2: rather than admitting that he won that, you know, like,

438
00:19:32,647 --> 00:19:33,967
Speaker 2: but that doesn't mean we should all go out and

439
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:37,047
Speaker 2: vote for him. They're all going look at his stupid

440
00:19:37,087 --> 00:19:39,247
Speaker 2: way he looks stupid, Look at his stupid eyeline. I

441
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,327
Speaker 2: look at his stupid and it's not eyeliner. But that's

442
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:44,967
Speaker 2: not the point. But it's like petty name calling. I'm like,

443
00:19:45,087 --> 00:19:47,247
Speaker 2: immediately I think a lot less of that person. Yeah,

444
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:47,767
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

445
00:19:47,807 --> 00:19:50,727
Speaker 3: I also think that if we're having an argument and

446
00:19:50,847 --> 00:19:53,367
Speaker 3: you say something that I don't agree with, and then

447
00:19:53,407 --> 00:19:55,567
Speaker 3: I go, well, you would think that because and I

448
00:19:55,607 --> 00:19:59,247
Speaker 3: bring up something from your personal life, I've clearly lost

449
00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:01,727
Speaker 3: my either train of thought or my point, because if

450
00:20:01,727 --> 00:20:03,847
Speaker 3: my point's strong enough, then I don't need to start

451
00:20:04,087 --> 00:20:08,167
Speaker 3: character assassinating you or making assumptions about your life. Yeah,

452
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,327
Speaker 3: it's something that I try and hold myself too.

453
00:20:10,287 --> 00:20:13,087
Speaker 1: Smart, because by calling someone a name, you just immediately

454
00:20:13,127 --> 00:20:16,487
Speaker 1: shut down any possibility of conversation.

455
00:20:16,287 --> 00:20:18,687
Speaker 2: Or making something personal that isn't personal. Do you know

456
00:20:18,727 --> 00:20:22,007
Speaker 2: what I mean? Like, because then immediately just put somebody's

457
00:20:22,047 --> 00:20:24,487
Speaker 2: back up and you don't. Yeah, I agree, good one.

458
00:20:24,727 --> 00:20:29,647
Speaker 2: I've got one more sleep on it. Always, always, always

459
00:20:30,207 --> 00:20:33,567
Speaker 2: everything I'm really really upset about. I nearly always feel

460
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,967
Speaker 2: better the next day. So unless you can't sleep on

461
00:20:36,007 --> 00:20:37,647
Speaker 2: it because it's a decision that needs to be made

462
00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:38,247
Speaker 2: right now.

463
00:20:39,007 --> 00:20:42,607
Speaker 3: How about but everyone says about not going to bed

464
00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:44,607
Speaker 3: angry with your partner. What do you think of that?

465
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:45,447
Speaker 1: Oh?

466
00:20:45,487 --> 00:20:49,567
Speaker 2: No, Sometimes I'm not a grudge keeper, so I couldn't be.

467
00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:52,367
Speaker 2: Like I've got friends who cannot speak to their partner

468
00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:53,607
Speaker 2: for three days and live in the same house.

469
00:20:53,647 --> 00:20:55,407
Speaker 3: I could never ever do that.

470
00:20:56,327 --> 00:20:58,207
Speaker 2: It's just not my nature. It doesn't mean I'm particularly not.

471
00:20:58,287 --> 00:21:00,447
Speaker 2: It's just like I'm more of a goldfish, do you

472
00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:03,407
Speaker 2: know what I mean? So that's not so much of

473
00:21:03,407 --> 00:21:03,847
Speaker 2: a problem.

474
00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:05,847
Speaker 1: I think they sleep on it things interesting because I

475
00:21:05,887 --> 00:21:08,567
Speaker 1: try to be that sometimes. But then I do sleep

476
00:21:08,607 --> 00:21:11,127
Speaker 1: because you have to in the course of an argument,

477
00:21:11,647 --> 00:21:13,927
Speaker 1: and then I just kind of lose interest.

478
00:21:15,287 --> 00:21:17,687
Speaker 2: Grudge. Maybe that's good, right, yeah, because it.

479
00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:19,407
Speaker 1: Can be frustrating when I want to hold it.

480
00:21:19,447 --> 00:21:22,687
Speaker 2: If it was worth holding, you maybe would hold it.

481
00:21:22,727 --> 00:21:26,087
Speaker 3: Out Louders, please jump in to the mummya out Louders

482
00:21:26,127 --> 00:21:28,327
Speaker 3: Facebook group. We've got a thread in there that will

483
00:21:28,407 --> 00:21:32,007
Speaker 3: pin with a whole lot of cheat codes for life.

484
00:21:32,127 --> 00:21:34,847
Speaker 3: Please jump in and add yours. I am reading all

485
00:21:34,887 --> 00:21:35,247
Speaker 3: of them.

486
00:21:36,927 --> 00:21:40,927
Speaker 1: Loud. That's actually a low pat There you go, out Louders.

487
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:43,127
Speaker 1: Didn't I say you'd enjoy that? And was I wrong?

488
00:21:43,687 --> 00:21:46,367
Speaker 1: Maybe I was. If you fancy more from our Hot

489
00:21:46,407 --> 00:21:50,567
Speaker 1: Pot Summer special selection, listen out for your favorite podcast

490
00:21:50,607 --> 00:21:53,287
Speaker 1: wherever you usually get episodes ab out Loud, and don't

491
00:21:53,327 --> 00:21:56,967
Speaker 1: forget to subscribe to Mumia to hear new subscriber content.

492
00:21:57,087 --> 00:21:59,567
Speaker 1: So if you want some newness in your ears. There's

493
00:21:59,607 --> 00:22:01,567
Speaker 1: a link in the show notes so that you never

494
00:22:01,647 --> 00:22:04,407
Speaker 1: miss an episode, and a huge thank you if you're

495
00:22:04,407 --> 00:22:05,487
Speaker 1: already a subscriber.