1 00:00:11,189 --> 00:00:15,989 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Maya acknowledges 2 00:00:16,069 --> 00:00:19,229 Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 3 00:00:19,309 --> 00:00:25,709 Speaker 1: is recorded on. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm 4 00:00:25,749 --> 00:00:27,989 Speaker 1: at the point of being so tired where all I 5 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:32,589 Speaker 1: can say is I am so tired. 6 00:00:42,389 --> 00:00:44,789 Speaker 2: The Baby Bubble with Claire and Jesse Stevens. 7 00:00:45,309 --> 00:00:49,109 Speaker 1: It's definitely not a parenting advice podcast. Claire, the advice 8 00:00:49,229 --> 00:00:52,149 Speaker 1: you get with a little one is you've just got 9 00:00:52,149 --> 00:00:53,309 Speaker 1: to get out of the house. You've got to get 10 00:00:53,349 --> 00:00:55,469 Speaker 1: out of the house. It's important for your mental health, 11 00:00:55,469 --> 00:00:58,309 Speaker 1: it's important for the stimulation of the baby. It's interesting 12 00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,549 Speaker 1: they say, even just for a walk, and I'm like, well, 13 00:01:00,549 --> 00:01:04,469 Speaker 1: what else is there? You know? Ah, yes, what other adventure. 14 00:01:04,709 --> 00:01:08,189 Speaker 1: I'm only going for a walk. Yeah, yeah, only just 15 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,909 Speaker 1: for walk up the street. Ah Okay, I was going 16 00:01:10,949 --> 00:01:13,349 Speaker 1: to go clubbing with my carrier. But if you're saying 17 00:01:13,349 --> 00:01:15,389 Speaker 1: I could just go for a walk, I'll do that. 18 00:01:15,589 --> 00:01:16,549 Speaker 2: Yeah. Exactly. 19 00:01:17,069 --> 00:01:21,709 Speaker 1: What no one probably warns you about is the logistics 20 00:01:22,429 --> 00:01:25,069 Speaker 1: of leaving the house with the newborn. I think that 21 00:01:25,189 --> 00:01:27,629 Speaker 1: you have this false confidence at the beginning. I guess 22 00:01:27,669 --> 00:01:29,309 Speaker 1: it's kind of like leaving the House of the Pet 23 00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:32,869 Speaker 1: Mouse and that it's like in the carrier or whatever, 24 00:01:33,149 --> 00:01:35,469 Speaker 1: like how many trinkets can this one thing need? How 25 00:01:35,509 --> 00:01:38,789 Speaker 1: many accessories? How many accessories can it need? And then 26 00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:42,309 Speaker 1: I found that the big one for me was getting 27 00:01:42,389 --> 00:01:45,749 Speaker 1: to the doctor. So I remember getting to the lactation 28 00:01:45,909 --> 00:01:49,789 Speaker 1: consultant and I put Luna down because they kept weighing her. 29 00:01:49,789 --> 00:01:51,909 Speaker 1: They're observed with a way and I put her down 30 00:01:51,989 --> 00:01:54,029 Speaker 1: on the scale and you've got to take her nappy off, 31 00:01:54,029 --> 00:01:55,669 Speaker 1: and she'd done a pooh and you can tell whenever 32 00:01:55,669 --> 00:01:57,789 Speaker 1: there's a pooh nappy in a health environment. They're kind 33 00:01:57,789 --> 00:01:59,069 Speaker 1: of like, why haven't you changed it? And I'm like, 34 00:01:59,069 --> 00:02:01,469 Speaker 1: I don't know when she did it. Every single time 35 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,349 Speaker 1: I've gone to one of those appointments where you have 36 00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:06,109 Speaker 1: to get her naked, I have changed her nappy before 37 00:02:06,109 --> 00:02:08,029 Speaker 1: we've left, because I'm like, I'm not being judged for 38 00:02:08,189 --> 00:02:10,109 Speaker 1: having a pooey baby. No. And then I get there, 39 00:02:10,189 --> 00:02:11,789 Speaker 1: I take a nappy off. She's done a shit, yeah, 40 00:02:11,789 --> 00:02:13,909 Speaker 1: and I'm like, she's not neglected. 41 00:02:14,789 --> 00:02:18,269 Speaker 2: Just a flag. This is very fresh. 42 00:02:18,549 --> 00:02:19,669 Speaker 1: And I took it off and then I put it 43 00:02:19,669 --> 00:02:21,549 Speaker 1: in a bag and I did all of that the 44 00:02:22,069 --> 00:02:24,789 Speaker 1: lactation consultant was like, okay, you can change her now 45 00:02:25,189 --> 00:02:28,389 Speaker 1: and put on a fresh onesie. I remember being like, yeah, cool, cool, cool, 46 00:02:28,829 --> 00:02:31,429 Speaker 1: Do you have one? Do you have fresh onesies in 47 00:02:31,469 --> 00:02:34,149 Speaker 1: this place? I didn't bring one. I didn't bring one. 48 00:02:34,149 --> 00:02:36,349 Speaker 1: And I remember I think I had a fresh nappy, 49 00:02:36,989 --> 00:02:38,629 Speaker 1: and I put a nappy on her, and it was 50 00:02:38,629 --> 00:02:40,469 Speaker 1: the middle of winter and I didn't have any clothes, 51 00:02:40,749 --> 00:02:42,749 Speaker 1: and I thought if I just put her in a swaddle, 52 00:02:43,349 --> 00:02:45,629 Speaker 1: she might not notice. But it was weird because it 53 00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:48,829 Speaker 1: wasn't sleep time, no, and I was gonna have to 54 00:02:48,829 --> 00:02:50,589 Speaker 1: feed for half an hour in front of this woman. 55 00:02:50,589 --> 00:02:52,189 Speaker 1: So I put her in this swaddle and she was 56 00:02:52,229 --> 00:02:54,469 Speaker 1: clearly like, why doesn't your baby. 57 00:02:54,229 --> 00:02:56,269 Speaker 2: Have any clothes on underneath that sportle? 58 00:02:56,629 --> 00:03:00,909 Speaker 1: I forgot. I forgot. Actually, I'm going to be where 59 00:03:00,909 --> 00:03:03,509 Speaker 1: were the first places you went after you had a baby? 60 00:03:03,629 --> 00:03:07,149 Speaker 1: We had like appointments, we had I think you have 61 00:03:07,189 --> 00:03:09,269 Speaker 1: a check up when you first get back from the hospital, 62 00:03:09,309 --> 00:03:11,909 Speaker 1: to be like how's everything going, and you're like not. 63 00:03:12,829 --> 00:03:16,069 Speaker 1: So I went there and I remember there's kind of 64 00:03:16,069 --> 00:03:18,949 Speaker 1: a change table thing where you do get the baby 65 00:03:19,029 --> 00:03:22,109 Speaker 1: naked to then do the way. So I changed her 66 00:03:22,149 --> 00:03:24,949 Speaker 1: nappy and I turned around to get a bag to 67 00:03:25,229 --> 00:03:27,909 Speaker 1: nappy in and she was like, oh, don't leave your 68 00:03:27,909 --> 00:03:31,149 Speaker 1: baby on there. And I was like, interesting, how Like 69 00:03:31,749 --> 00:03:35,109 Speaker 1: I get it, but how am I meant to put 70 00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:37,429 Speaker 1: the nappy away if I don't step away? 71 00:03:37,829 --> 00:03:40,149 Speaker 2: And also she's a potato. She's a potato. 72 00:03:40,189 --> 00:03:41,589 Speaker 1: And also like you would have been a bitch fed 73 00:03:41,629 --> 00:03:44,789 Speaker 1: in disposed of this propway. Yeah, I remember I took Luna. 74 00:03:44,829 --> 00:03:46,669 Speaker 1: This was when she was learning to roll and stuff, 75 00:03:46,669 --> 00:03:48,549 Speaker 1: and I took her to Mother's Group and like we're 76 00:03:48,549 --> 00:03:52,469 Speaker 1: on this big grassy outdoor bit and I got there 77 00:03:52,469 --> 00:03:54,669 Speaker 1: with Luna. I hadn't been to Mother's Group in a while. 78 00:03:55,229 --> 00:03:59,589 Speaker 1: Everyone had mats laid out for their babies to roll. 79 00:03:59,669 --> 00:04:02,829 Speaker 2: This exact thing happened to a few weeks ago. Oh 80 00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:03,629 Speaker 2: that's what they're. 81 00:04:03,469 --> 00:04:05,869 Speaker 1: For, because I got given some. The hospital gives you one. 82 00:04:06,229 --> 00:04:08,109 Speaker 1: And I was like, this is weird. The obsession with 83 00:04:08,149 --> 00:04:11,069 Speaker 1: matts is weird. Like I don't need a indoors, Like 84 00:04:11,229 --> 00:04:14,429 Speaker 1: is this a doormat? Is this like a thing to 85 00:04:14,469 --> 00:04:16,749 Speaker 1: put down in the middle of her nursery. She has 86 00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:19,309 Speaker 1: carpet in there. She's absolutely fine, But I didn't have 87 00:04:19,349 --> 00:04:22,589 Speaker 1: a mat but I didn't want to look flustered because 88 00:04:22,589 --> 00:04:24,949 Speaker 1: it's just it's very faked till you make it. So 89 00:04:24,989 --> 00:04:27,989 Speaker 1: I put her down on what was, in hindsight, damp grass, 90 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,069 Speaker 1: and I put her on damp grass, and I was like, 91 00:04:30,109 --> 00:04:32,429 Speaker 1: go on roll, like giving her a little kick, go on, 92 00:04:32,589 --> 00:04:34,229 Speaker 1: go on roll. And she was clearly like I'm in 93 00:04:34,269 --> 00:04:36,629 Speaker 1: the mud. I am stuck in the mud. And I 94 00:04:36,669 --> 00:04:40,309 Speaker 1: was like, hello, lady, can we worry your mat? May 95 00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:43,909 Speaker 1: my baby share your very mat for me? I didn't 96 00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:46,389 Speaker 1: know that we had to bring a mat. I also 97 00:04:46,429 --> 00:04:50,269 Speaker 1: remember turning up to an acupuncture appointment with Luna and 98 00:04:50,309 --> 00:04:53,549 Speaker 1: it's a communal acupuncture thing. There are like maybe thirty 99 00:04:53,549 --> 00:04:55,789 Speaker 1: people getting acupuncture at the same time, and it's really 100 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,829 Speaker 1: serene and really quiet, and I came in with Luna 101 00:04:58,189 --> 00:04:59,989 Speaker 1: in her pram and she was just going I remember, 102 00:05:00,589 --> 00:05:02,229 Speaker 1: and I walked in and I was like, yeah, you 103 00:05:02,229 --> 00:05:05,029 Speaker 1: know hips, blah blah blah, please can I get acupuncture? 104 00:05:05,309 --> 00:05:07,029 Speaker 1: And the woman was like, what are you going to 105 00:05:07,109 --> 00:05:09,709 Speaker 1: do with the baby? I hadn't fucking thought of that. 106 00:05:10,469 --> 00:05:13,829 Speaker 1: I actually had at She's gonna start crying. We have 107 00:05:13,869 --> 00:05:16,829 Speaker 1: needles in my back. It's gonna upset everyone. This was, 108 00:05:16,869 --> 00:05:20,189 Speaker 1: in hindsight, a terrible idea, and I said, with full confidence, 109 00:05:20,269 --> 00:05:21,229 Speaker 1: I think she will sleep. 110 00:05:22,309 --> 00:05:23,269 Speaker 2: But wasn't I ot time. 111 00:05:23,789 --> 00:05:26,429 Speaker 1: It was a disaster. It was a disaster. I just 112 00:05:26,469 --> 00:05:28,029 Speaker 1: thought that I had to get out of the house. 113 00:05:28,109 --> 00:05:30,789 Speaker 1: The amount of times I have been walking down the 114 00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:33,749 Speaker 1: street I see a nail place, I go, oh, yes, 115 00:05:33,869 --> 00:05:35,629 Speaker 1: I need to get my name. I would love to 116 00:05:35,629 --> 00:05:37,589 Speaker 1: get my nails DOWNE treat myself. 117 00:05:37,949 --> 00:05:38,669 Speaker 2: I go to go in. 118 00:05:38,789 --> 00:05:41,149 Speaker 1: I think I've got a baby. Thing about having a 119 00:05:41,149 --> 00:05:43,669 Speaker 1: baby too? Is it the days along? So you do 120 00:05:43,789 --> 00:05:44,989 Speaker 1: have to make up activities? 121 00:05:45,549 --> 00:05:46,309 Speaker 2: Activities? 122 00:05:47,429 --> 00:05:49,869 Speaker 1: What activities did you make up to pass the time 123 00:05:49,909 --> 00:05:52,949 Speaker 1: with a newborn? We played how many times can you 124 00:05:53,029 --> 00:05:57,069 Speaker 1: rearrange the pantry? I'd go for walks around the neighborhood 125 00:05:57,069 --> 00:05:59,549 Speaker 1: way too much. People probably thought I was scoping their 126 00:05:59,589 --> 00:06:00,749 Speaker 1: homes from a break in. 127 00:06:01,029 --> 00:06:03,469 Speaker 2: I got really into bad TV series. 128 00:06:04,509 --> 00:06:07,389 Speaker 1: The amount of I need to go to Westfield that 129 00:06:07,469 --> 00:06:10,909 Speaker 1: I have done. I make up lists, notes app with 130 00:06:10,989 --> 00:06:15,869 Speaker 1: like just made up tasks, washing powder. We have watching brother. 131 00:06:16,789 --> 00:06:17,789 Speaker 1: I just got a duck out. 132 00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:20,229 Speaker 2: It's an activit. It's got a duck out to Westfield. 133 00:06:20,389 --> 00:06:21,109 Speaker 1: She likes it. 134 00:06:21,189 --> 00:06:23,069 Speaker 2: Her first words will be big w. 135 00:06:24,629 --> 00:06:28,029 Speaker 1: One activity we did quite early on was the baby 136 00:06:28,069 --> 00:06:32,349 Speaker 1: spar and the baby spar is so much fun. She 137 00:06:32,429 --> 00:06:36,309 Speaker 1: got in the baby spar absolutely thrived the smiles. I 138 00:06:36,349 --> 00:06:38,709 Speaker 1: still say number one thing to do with your baby 139 00:06:38,749 --> 00:06:41,109 Speaker 1: is baby spar. It is so cute. I thought it 140 00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:43,269 Speaker 1: was so so cute because the thing about baby activities 141 00:06:43,309 --> 00:06:47,109 Speaker 1: is that they're not for baby. My baby doesn't know 142 00:06:47,589 --> 00:06:50,149 Speaker 1: who she is or where she is. I took her 143 00:06:50,349 --> 00:06:54,749 Speaker 1: at maybe six weeks old to the zoo, yeah, because 144 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:55,509 Speaker 1: I thought that would be. 145 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,549 Speaker 2: A good act. Remember that. 146 00:06:56,629 --> 00:06:57,829 Speaker 1: Didn't she sleep the whole time? 147 00:06:58,269 --> 00:06:59,189 Speaker 2: Yeah, she loved it. 148 00:06:59,429 --> 00:07:01,109 Speaker 1: She didn't know her at the zoo, she'd say anything 149 00:07:01,109 --> 00:07:02,829 Speaker 1: she probably thought were in one of her stupid books. 150 00:07:02,829 --> 00:07:04,509 Speaker 1: I don't think she can see. At that age, she 151 00:07:04,509 --> 00:07:06,869 Speaker 1: couldn't see. And I remember people being like, she's got 152 00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:09,109 Speaker 1: to zoo with a six week old Because what you 153 00:07:09,149 --> 00:07:12,389 Speaker 1: have to do is I've got a pass and when 154 00:07:12,429 --> 00:07:16,589 Speaker 1: you get your membership, they take photos like for your 155 00:07:16,589 --> 00:07:19,109 Speaker 1: membership card. So she's got a little Tarronga Zoom membership 156 00:07:19,149 --> 00:07:21,989 Speaker 1: card and she just looks like such a little potato 157 00:07:22,149 --> 00:07:24,869 Speaker 1: like Matilda could use it. Yeah, Like it just looks 158 00:07:24,949 --> 00:07:27,589 Speaker 1: like any baby if Luna tried to get in now 159 00:07:27,629 --> 00:07:31,269 Speaker 1: she couldn't recognize them, but I was like, no, zoo day. 160 00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:34,149 Speaker 1: How often as an adult you just get a zoo day? Yeah, 161 00:07:34,189 --> 00:07:36,629 Speaker 1: that's fun for you. Yeah, having a coffee in a 162 00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:40,629 Speaker 1: different location love it slaps. A common recurrence for me 163 00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:42,469 Speaker 1: Matilda is getting stuck in the rain. 164 00:07:42,909 --> 00:07:45,469 Speaker 2: So we when that's bonding. 165 00:07:45,749 --> 00:07:48,389 Speaker 1: Yes, So Mum and Nick, our brother, they were having 166 00:07:48,429 --> 00:07:51,029 Speaker 1: an ice cream near me, and I said, I'll be 167 00:07:51,149 --> 00:07:54,069 Speaker 1: right there, and so I came down with Matilda. Their 168 00:07:54,149 --> 00:07:57,149 Speaker 1: threat of rain was there and I didn't have an umbrella. 169 00:07:57,229 --> 00:07:59,389 Speaker 1: I have a weird philosophical thing where I don't believe 170 00:07:59,389 --> 00:08:01,269 Speaker 1: in umbrella. Yeah, I think I need to change that. 171 00:08:01,629 --> 00:08:03,349 Speaker 1: And as I was walking down the hill started to rain, 172 00:08:03,509 --> 00:08:07,469 Speaker 1: so I'm wet till we be wet. Prams getting wet 173 00:08:07,509 --> 00:08:09,669 Speaker 1: and I get there and I'm like, thank god, ice cream. 174 00:08:09,709 --> 00:08:12,109 Speaker 1: Time go to get my ice cream. She has done 175 00:08:12,149 --> 00:08:15,669 Speaker 1: an explosive pooh, and I didn't. I felt that it 176 00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:19,469 Speaker 1: was very unhygienic. You always feel shame changing a nappy 177 00:08:19,509 --> 00:08:19,989 Speaker 1: in public. 178 00:08:20,469 --> 00:08:22,829 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think you've really. 179 00:08:22,549 --> 00:08:25,629 Speaker 1: Experienced parenthood until you have changed a nappy on the 180 00:08:25,629 --> 00:08:28,789 Speaker 1: floor of a public toil. No, but I've had to 181 00:08:28,829 --> 00:08:31,429 Speaker 1: do it in places where there isn't a toilet. 182 00:08:31,069 --> 00:08:33,189 Speaker 2: And also the hatred I feel. 183 00:08:33,189 --> 00:08:36,589 Speaker 1: I went in once, I was waiting for the parents room, waiting, waiting, waiting. 184 00:08:36,589 --> 00:08:38,669 Speaker 1: I think this is in a shopping center, and then 185 00:08:38,709 --> 00:08:41,149 Speaker 1: out walked a twenty two year old man. 186 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,589 Speaker 2: Oh, nearly lost. 187 00:08:43,669 --> 00:08:46,629 Speaker 1: I nearly assaulted that, like, I need that because that's 188 00:08:46,669 --> 00:08:48,389 Speaker 1: the only bathroom my pram fits in. 189 00:08:48,549 --> 00:08:49,789 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't go in the cubicle. 190 00:08:49,909 --> 00:08:52,469 Speaker 1: No. And then what I do, which I would love 191 00:08:52,589 --> 00:08:56,269 Speaker 1: to discuss with you as a conundrum, is how long 192 00:08:56,349 --> 00:08:58,629 Speaker 1: is too long to leave my baby unattended? Because even 193 00:08:58,669 --> 00:09:01,429 Speaker 1: I've got this cafe out the road where I can't 194 00:09:01,469 --> 00:09:04,589 Speaker 1: really wheel the pram in the whole way, And I'm like, 195 00:09:05,029 --> 00:09:08,069 Speaker 1: I have a very no one's going to take her approach. 196 00:09:08,629 --> 00:09:11,229 Speaker 1: And I have this about most things, like I'm just 197 00:09:11,269 --> 00:09:15,069 Speaker 1: not very good with security of certain ite personal I'm 198 00:09:15,269 --> 00:09:18,829 Speaker 1: very trusting of others. Have I been burned? Absolutely? Have 199 00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:22,709 Speaker 1: I had things stolen many? Many? But generally I'm like 200 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,669 Speaker 1: the people around me look trustworthy. And so I think 201 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:30,269 Speaker 1: if I had my laptop in a cafe and I said, 202 00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,709 Speaker 1: can you just watch that for a minute while I 203 00:09:31,749 --> 00:09:32,989 Speaker 1: go to the bath. I want to do that all 204 00:09:33,029 --> 00:09:35,389 Speaker 1: the time, and people watch it for me. I would 205 00:09:35,389 --> 00:09:37,349 Speaker 1: think that they're more likely to steal that laptop than 206 00:09:37,389 --> 00:09:40,069 Speaker 1: they are my baby. Yeah. No, a baby comes with 207 00:09:40,149 --> 00:09:44,229 Speaker 1: a lot. It's a bigger lift. It's harder to sell. 208 00:09:45,509 --> 00:09:49,149 Speaker 1: People are often I think funny about how much they 209 00:09:49,229 --> 00:09:51,069 Speaker 1: might buy it for, and I think that the threat 210 00:09:51,109 --> 00:09:53,589 Speaker 1: of the law is greater. Yeah, so if you stole 211 00:09:53,669 --> 00:09:54,829 Speaker 1: a baby, it's like. 212 00:09:55,069 --> 00:09:57,109 Speaker 2: That's kidnapping. Yeah, it's kidnapping. 213 00:09:57,109 --> 00:09:58,869 Speaker 1: And I feel like that's, in the eyes of the law, 214 00:09:58,949 --> 00:10:02,269 Speaker 1: worse than stealing a laptop. Like I don't know, asking 215 00:10:02,309 --> 00:10:04,909 Speaker 1: a stranger to just look at a parked pram for 216 00:10:04,989 --> 00:10:08,349 Speaker 1: a minute with a sleeping baby, see, is that kosher? 217 00:10:08,389 --> 00:10:10,469 Speaker 1: I don't know, you ask a stranger. See. I've been 218 00:10:10,469 --> 00:10:13,269 Speaker 1: in situations where I do it in shops. I'll be 219 00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:15,989 Speaker 1: in a shop and I need to get something off 220 00:10:16,029 --> 00:10:19,349 Speaker 1: the shelf and there's just a bit of a blockage. Yeah, 221 00:10:19,389 --> 00:10:22,189 Speaker 1: I'll leave the pram and I'm like, how far it's 222 00:10:22,269 --> 00:10:22,709 Speaker 1: how far? 223 00:10:22,909 --> 00:10:23,469 Speaker 2: Is too far? 224 00:10:23,629 --> 00:10:27,429 Speaker 1: Long? Is too long for someone to see an unattended baby? 225 00:10:27,949 --> 00:10:28,869 Speaker 2: I wonder that. 226 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,949 Speaker 1: I wonder that is it arm's length, because I've gone 227 00:10:31,989 --> 00:10:33,869 Speaker 1: a lot further than arm's length, and then I think 228 00:10:33,869 --> 00:10:36,509 Speaker 1: what if I got stuck here? Yeah, there's no clear 229 00:10:36,549 --> 00:10:41,189 Speaker 1: cut rules, all right, Jesse, True or false? Does this 230 00:10:41,469 --> 00:10:45,629 Speaker 1: baby item exist? Peepee? Teepee? It is a must have 231 00:10:45,989 --> 00:10:49,989 Speaker 1: diapering accessory for newborn boys. Your hands are full with 232 00:10:50,109 --> 00:10:53,829 Speaker 1: baby's legs and a nappy, so you pop a teepee 233 00:10:54,149 --> 00:10:57,709 Speaker 1: on their body to stop any unexpected spray, like on 234 00:10:57,749 --> 00:11:01,069 Speaker 1: their willie. Well, it's a cone shaped tepe. Oh, this 235 00:11:01,149 --> 00:11:05,709 Speaker 1: is true to fit between surely baby size, washable and reusable. Yeah, 236 00:11:05,869 --> 00:11:07,949 Speaker 1: I would say, yes, this is absolutely true. 237 00:11:07,749 --> 00:11:08,309 Speaker 2: Like a thimble. 238 00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:17,389 Speaker 1: You're correct. The other thing I wanted to bring up 239 00:11:18,029 --> 00:11:21,069 Speaker 1: is the thing about leaving the house is you've got 240 00:11:21,069 --> 00:11:24,629 Speaker 1: to look fit for the world. Okay, me, that's one 241 00:11:24,669 --> 00:11:28,269 Speaker 1: whole other episode, one whole other discussion. I want to 242 00:11:28,309 --> 00:11:30,749 Speaker 1: talk about the baby because I think I've said this before. 243 00:11:30,869 --> 00:11:33,469 Speaker 1: Turn up to my first mother's group. My baby's in 244 00:11:33,469 --> 00:11:36,789 Speaker 1: a onesie. I realize that to some that is baby pajamas. 245 00:11:36,869 --> 00:11:39,589 Speaker 1: I'm still not clear. Is it wonder suit pajamas or 246 00:11:39,669 --> 00:11:43,469 Speaker 1: is it a day outfit. I'm still very confused because 247 00:11:43,589 --> 00:11:45,629 Speaker 1: Matilda wants it to be a day out. Yeah, you know, 248 00:11:45,669 --> 00:11:51,269 Speaker 1: for adults, it's like, I guess it's like black tie, cocktail, workwear. 249 00:11:50,829 --> 00:11:52,549 Speaker 2: Casual wear, lounge wear. 250 00:11:53,189 --> 00:11:56,349 Speaker 1: I don't quite understand where on that baby, because I 251 00:11:56,429 --> 00:11:58,989 Speaker 1: wander suit. I know it's not black tie, but is 252 00:11:58,989 --> 00:12:02,349 Speaker 1: it work wet? I feel like it could be elevated 253 00:12:02,349 --> 00:12:05,149 Speaker 1: to work wear, especially with a shoe. Yeah, with a 254 00:12:05,189 --> 00:12:08,749 Speaker 1: shoe or a sock or a hat. But I would 255 00:12:08,789 --> 00:12:11,429 Speaker 1: go to this and the baby's we're in like a jumper, 256 00:12:11,669 --> 00:12:15,989 Speaker 1: corduroy pants, a cardigan and a matching hat. And I 257 00:12:16,029 --> 00:12:19,549 Speaker 1: went to me, that's whack tie. Yeah, you're overdressed, and 258 00:12:19,589 --> 00:12:22,589 Speaker 1: that's embarrassing. Better to be underdressed than overdressed. 259 00:12:22,589 --> 00:12:23,309 Speaker 2: Surely, surely. 260 00:12:23,389 --> 00:12:25,029 Speaker 1: I mean that's coming from a place of deep, deep 261 00:12:25,069 --> 00:12:29,189 Speaker 1: insecurity because I look and I think that outfit looks clean, 262 00:12:29,389 --> 00:12:31,909 Speaker 1: iron and light thought went into it. And the feeling 263 00:12:31,909 --> 00:12:34,229 Speaker 1: that I often have when I leave the house, which is, oh, 264 00:12:34,269 --> 00:12:37,149 Speaker 1: I regret this. I regret what I've put together, and 265 00:12:37,229 --> 00:12:40,149 Speaker 1: I regret being here in this And I've noticed disdain, 266 00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:43,389 Speaker 1: and I've noticed disdain, and I feel profoundly uncomfortable in 267 00:12:43,389 --> 00:12:45,709 Speaker 1: this social situation. I didn't realize that would extend to 268 00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:47,869 Speaker 1: my baby because often I look at her and I. 269 00:12:47,829 --> 00:12:48,789 Speaker 2: Go, oh, I regret that. 270 00:12:48,909 --> 00:12:51,509 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, honey, you don't look looking up at you 271 00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:55,869 Speaker 1: like a no, no, you don't. Thing about Matilda is 272 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,509 Speaker 1: no matter what I put her in, she looks like 273 00:12:57,549 --> 00:12:58,229 Speaker 1: coumpty dumpty. 274 00:12:58,349 --> 00:12:58,789 Speaker 2: She does. 275 00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:01,909 Speaker 1: Everything's very high. Yeah, and she has a very because 276 00:13:01,909 --> 00:13:04,549 Speaker 1: even in utero, they said the circumference of her stomach 277 00:13:04,709 --> 00:13:08,669 Speaker 1: is unusually large if it's not really look like an egg, 278 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:13,989 Speaker 1: and so clothes just don't really like sit nicely on her. No, 279 00:13:14,029 --> 00:13:16,109 Speaker 1: they've never sat nicely on Luna. Remember we were going 280 00:13:16,149 --> 00:13:18,149 Speaker 1: to it was a friend's birthday. We're going to a pub, 281 00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:19,029 Speaker 1: and I was like, that's it. 282 00:13:19,109 --> 00:13:21,149 Speaker 2: I'm trying. Oh, this is so sad. 283 00:13:21,229 --> 00:13:24,629 Speaker 1: I'm trying because maybe a wonder suit isn't pub appropriate. 284 00:13:25,149 --> 00:13:27,909 Speaker 1: I didn't get the memo, but apparently not, so I 285 00:13:27,949 --> 00:13:31,989 Speaker 1: got her green tracksuit pants. They were like a I 286 00:13:31,989 --> 00:13:36,069 Speaker 1: guess you'd call it a vomit green with a floral art. 287 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,309 Speaker 1: And I put them together and it was at the 288 00:13:38,349 --> 00:13:42,709 Speaker 1: stage of development where Luna was devoid of pigment, and 289 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:47,429 Speaker 1: she looked I think I knew it when I left 290 00:13:47,429 --> 00:13:50,629 Speaker 1: the house and she was barefoot, and because she I mean, 291 00:13:50,669 --> 00:13:53,029 Speaker 1: she can't walk, so it's like, what's the point. But 292 00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:55,709 Speaker 1: we turned up and I took a look at her 293 00:13:56,149 --> 00:13:58,149 Speaker 1: and I went, I've made a horrible I've made it. 294 00:13:58,269 --> 00:14:00,909 Speaker 1: And I said that to you, Yeah, I said, what 295 00:14:00,909 --> 00:14:01,789 Speaker 1: what did you put her in? 296 00:14:01,989 --> 00:14:02,709 Speaker 2: Is that? 297 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:05,509 Speaker 1: That's the worst outfit I've ever seen on anyone, baby 298 00:14:05,589 --> 00:14:07,669 Speaker 1: or adult. Yeah, she's just gone with a wonder suit. 299 00:14:07,989 --> 00:14:12,189 Speaker 1: The other thing that's incredibly stressful with a baby leaving 300 00:14:12,189 --> 00:14:16,749 Speaker 1: the house is flying. So I have recently, I've done 301 00:14:16,749 --> 00:14:20,029 Speaker 1: two flights with Matilda. And the math doesn't math. So 302 00:14:20,829 --> 00:14:24,389 Speaker 1: you get to the airport and you're already hold on, 303 00:14:24,669 --> 00:14:27,669 Speaker 1: got no hands, got no hands, I've got a baby. 304 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:32,229 Speaker 1: So baby strapped to me, travel pram, little suitcase right, 305 00:14:32,829 --> 00:14:37,069 Speaker 1: and then you have to check in like domestic flights 306 00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:40,029 Speaker 1: can't have the travel cram. Then you go to go 307 00:14:40,069 --> 00:14:42,109 Speaker 1: through security. You're like, this is all going to be fine, 308 00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,869 Speaker 1: so long as I can keep her strapped to me. 309 00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:46,669 Speaker 1: You get to security, they say take her off and 310 00:14:46,709 --> 00:14:49,309 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, she's not. 311 00:14:49,229 --> 00:14:53,669 Speaker 2: A security threat. The carrier isn't that is in it? 312 00:14:54,029 --> 00:14:56,069 Speaker 2: Like it's the same fabric as my T shirt. 313 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,909 Speaker 1: Yeah, where are we hiding? This situation is just like 314 00:14:58,949 --> 00:15:02,909 Speaker 1: a koala? Yeah yeah, if that's okay. So the security 315 00:15:02,949 --> 00:15:04,629 Speaker 1: person told me, naw, she needs to come out of 316 00:15:04,629 --> 00:15:07,749 Speaker 1: the carrier. And I honestly went to say, does she 317 00:15:07,869 --> 00:15:11,229 Speaker 1: need to go through the literat? But she can only 318 00:15:11,469 --> 00:15:15,869 Speaker 1: roll one way once a week. I can't see her 319 00:15:15,909 --> 00:15:18,709 Speaker 1: making her way through security on her own. No, no, no, 320 00:15:19,069 --> 00:15:21,789 Speaker 1: I'm does she need to go on the belt? Yes, 321 00:15:22,549 --> 00:15:24,669 Speaker 1: but through the machine? But they said no, you can 322 00:15:24,709 --> 00:15:26,709 Speaker 1: carry her through the thing. And I was like, okay, good. 323 00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:28,229 Speaker 1: And then they say she's got to come out of 324 00:15:28,269 --> 00:15:30,669 Speaker 1: her carrier and I was like, I don't have hands 325 00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:34,269 Speaker 1: to take her out of her career, and so I 326 00:15:34,389 --> 00:15:36,989 Speaker 1: had to hand her to a stranger. Okay, it's a 327 00:15:37,029 --> 00:15:39,389 Speaker 1: strange woman standing beside me who said would you like 328 00:15:39,429 --> 00:15:41,869 Speaker 1: a hand And I said, yes, may you hold my baby? 329 00:15:42,029 --> 00:15:43,269 Speaker 2: Please don't steal it, plead. 330 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,909 Speaker 1: It feels weird to put her on the ground. It does, 331 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,429 Speaker 1: but I am not far actually, And what do you 332 00:15:50,509 --> 00:15:53,589 Speaker 1: do on a plane slash in public? Is? We have 333 00:15:53,669 --> 00:15:56,109 Speaker 1: what Luca and I refer to as a bag tricks. 334 00:15:57,029 --> 00:15:59,869 Speaker 2: What's your top tip for flying with a baby. 335 00:15:59,749 --> 00:16:02,269 Speaker 1: Pack snacks and as many distractions as possible. 336 00:16:02,349 --> 00:16:05,389 Speaker 2: Honestly, just release yourself from the judgment of others and 337 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,109 Speaker 2: give yourself over to the chaos. 338 00:16:07,389 --> 00:16:10,349 Speaker 1: It's definitely boob, bottle or dummy on the way up 339 00:16:10,389 --> 00:16:13,709 Speaker 1: and down. So you've got your Mary Poppins bag of 340 00:16:13,749 --> 00:16:16,709 Speaker 1: tricks and you've got a grizzly baby, and you go, 341 00:16:16,869 --> 00:16:22,429 Speaker 1: I'm gonna start with probably bottle, then dummy, then cat, 342 00:16:22,669 --> 00:16:28,429 Speaker 1: you know her singing cat, Sophie the giraffe. Then you 343 00:16:28,469 --> 00:16:31,389 Speaker 1: start getting increasingly desperate as you move to the bottom 344 00:16:31,429 --> 00:16:35,469 Speaker 1: of the bag, and you've got colorful book. Oh, but 345 00:16:35,549 --> 00:16:38,029 Speaker 1: then you've got nappy yeah, yeah, you want to play 346 00:16:38,069 --> 00:16:43,229 Speaker 1: with nappy wipe. And then you've got obscure toy that 347 00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:46,229 Speaker 1: she's never played with, engage with, engaged with it all. 348 00:16:46,269 --> 00:16:50,309 Speaker 1: Then you've got onesie that fit two months ago. Then 349 00:16:50,389 --> 00:16:53,509 Speaker 1: you've got dirty socks. Yeah. When you get to the 350 00:16:53,509 --> 00:16:57,109 Speaker 1: bottom of your bag of tricks, things are not good, 351 00:16:57,149 --> 00:17:00,269 Speaker 1: and you've got a grizzly baby. You're just like, there's 352 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,389 Speaker 1: only one option. We must begin again from the top 353 00:17:03,429 --> 00:17:07,069 Speaker 1: of the bag of tricks, or I must start playing 354 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,709 Speaker 1: The sound of music sounded. 355 00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:09,709 Speaker 2: Very loud. 356 00:17:11,069 --> 00:17:15,109 Speaker 1: Along. Yeah, yeah, exactly, and everyone around me is clearly like, 357 00:17:15,149 --> 00:17:15,829 Speaker 1: can you put your. 358 00:17:15,749 --> 00:17:18,029 Speaker 2: Headphones in them? It's not for me, it's for the baby. 359 00:17:18,389 --> 00:17:22,229 Speaker 2: She's dancing. She likes this. 360 00:17:25,549 --> 00:17:34,229 Speaker 1: Crap crap crap advice, Jesse, It's time for our crap 361 00:17:34,269 --> 00:17:35,389 Speaker 1: advice segment. 362 00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:36,869 Speaker 2: This is from Lucy. 363 00:17:37,829 --> 00:17:39,629 Speaker 1: I have an issue I thought you guys could really 364 00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:43,269 Speaker 1: help me out with. I love the confidence. My baby, 365 00:17:43,309 --> 00:17:45,789 Speaker 1: Ollie is seven weeks old, and I have absolutely no 366 00:17:45,949 --> 00:17:48,709 Speaker 1: idea how to settle him. At mother's group, we had 367 00:17:48,709 --> 00:17:51,109 Speaker 1: a nurse give us some strategies in the first few weeks, 368 00:17:51,149 --> 00:17:53,829 Speaker 1: like shushing and padding and white noise, but none of 369 00:17:53,829 --> 00:17:57,109 Speaker 1: that makes any difference. Even when he's had milk asleep 370 00:17:57,149 --> 00:18:00,349 Speaker 1: and a clean nappy. He's grizzly and people give him 371 00:18:00,389 --> 00:18:02,389 Speaker 1: back to me when he gets upset. But I have 372 00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:06,149 Speaker 1: no idea what to do to soothe him. Any advice, Jessie. 373 00:18:07,429 --> 00:18:12,589 Speaker 1: Soothing is our specialty as mothers. So good, it's soothing. Look, 374 00:18:12,629 --> 00:18:14,229 Speaker 1: I will say this. I think what you need to 375 00:18:14,229 --> 00:18:17,509 Speaker 1: do with advice is begin with the confirmation that everything 376 00:18:17,509 --> 00:18:18,309 Speaker 1: you're trying is wrong. 377 00:18:18,429 --> 00:18:19,389 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh the other. 378 00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:20,989 Speaker 1: Thing, Oh my gosh, I can't believe we haven't said 379 00:18:20,989 --> 00:18:23,589 Speaker 1: this before. Sorry, the problem actually exists because of you 380 00:18:24,149 --> 00:18:27,189 Speaker 1: and because of what you've been doing. Yeah. Yeah, it's reinforcing, 381 00:18:27,229 --> 00:18:29,989 Speaker 1: it's making it worse. So if I was shitty, if 382 00:18:30,029 --> 00:18:33,229 Speaker 1: I've had a bad day at work, I'm constipated someone's 383 00:18:33,269 --> 00:18:33,869 Speaker 1: pissing me off. 384 00:18:34,789 --> 00:18:37,909 Speaker 2: If someone took away my privileges. 385 00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,709 Speaker 1: And swaddled me and shushed in my ear and tapped 386 00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:44,669 Speaker 1: on my back and said it's okay, it's okay'll put 387 00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:47,829 Speaker 1: them to authority. In that way, I can totally understand 388 00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:51,589 Speaker 1: where Ollie is coming from. It all feels very patronizing. 389 00:18:52,309 --> 00:18:55,309 Speaker 1: It feels like there's not a lot of understanding. So 390 00:18:56,029 --> 00:18:59,269 Speaker 1: the question is what does it take you to be soothed? 391 00:18:59,629 --> 00:19:04,469 Speaker 1: And I will answer from my perspective. A chilled pepsi mac, 392 00:19:06,109 --> 00:19:12,069 Speaker 1: some Cadbury dairy milk, chocolate, perhaps something talk, some gossiping 393 00:19:12,509 --> 00:19:17,269 Speaker 1: with friends, that shit and Hathaway movie. These are the 394 00:19:17,309 --> 00:19:18,949 Speaker 1: things that settle us. 395 00:19:19,069 --> 00:19:21,629 Speaker 2: These are a few of my favorite things. 396 00:19:22,269 --> 00:19:25,109 Speaker 1: It helps with emotional regulation. So I would say, perhaps 397 00:19:26,269 --> 00:19:29,949 Speaker 1: try some of that. If those things aren't working. If 398 00:19:29,989 --> 00:19:32,949 Speaker 1: a little dab of pepsi max on the tongue doesn't help, 399 00:19:33,149 --> 00:19:35,069 Speaker 1: well you're getting to the bottom of your bag of tricks, 400 00:19:35,109 --> 00:19:37,549 Speaker 1: and I might melt the chocolate just because your baby 401 00:19:37,589 --> 00:19:38,309 Speaker 1: doesn't have teeth. 402 00:19:39,229 --> 00:19:40,789 Speaker 2: Great point, Great point. 403 00:19:40,869 --> 00:19:43,069 Speaker 1: But I'd say, here's the thing about relationships is that 404 00:19:43,069 --> 00:19:44,469 Speaker 1: they're meant to be a bit of give and take. 405 00:19:44,469 --> 00:19:46,229 Speaker 1: And at the moment, your baby's not giving a lot, 406 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:49,869 Speaker 1: but they're taking a lot. And so we've talked about 407 00:19:49,909 --> 00:19:55,109 Speaker 1: communication on this podcast before, saying you're profoundly unsettling to 408 00:19:55,189 --> 00:19:58,869 Speaker 1: me right now. So I'm settling you why you're unsettling. 409 00:19:59,109 --> 00:20:03,949 Speaker 1: I'm actually becoming emotionally disregulated because of your fussing. And 410 00:20:03,989 --> 00:20:07,389 Speaker 1: there's a very famous quote from doctor film, how's it 411 00:20:07,429 --> 00:20:08,229 Speaker 1: working for you? 412 00:20:08,309 --> 00:20:10,589 Speaker 2: Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, it's like when you're 413 00:20:10,589 --> 00:20:11,669 Speaker 2: being really self destructive. 414 00:20:11,749 --> 00:20:14,309 Speaker 1: Yeah, your behavior is bad, and this baby is being 415 00:20:14,349 --> 00:20:20,469 Speaker 1: self destructive because if you need to say, fart, your 416 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:24,309 Speaker 1: fussing's not getting you there. No, So sitting down with 417 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:27,789 Speaker 1: your baby and going what are your goals? What is 418 00:20:27,829 --> 00:20:30,589 Speaker 1: it that you want to achieve? Oh, you need to fart. 419 00:20:30,869 --> 00:20:33,749 Speaker 1: The yelling yeah is not getting you there. What we 420 00:20:33,789 --> 00:20:36,349 Speaker 1: need is bicycle legs. Yes, we're not getting from A 421 00:20:36,429 --> 00:20:39,349 Speaker 1: to B by all the fussing by the grizzling. It 422 00:20:39,429 --> 00:20:41,589 Speaker 1: is disruptive to the household. And to be honest, he's 423 00:20:41,629 --> 00:20:44,269 Speaker 1: pissing me off, is actually really pissing me off. And 424 00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:47,829 Speaker 1: afore mentioned I am becoming grizzly. So now we have 425 00:20:47,949 --> 00:20:50,749 Speaker 1: multiple grizzly people in the home, and this is selfish behavior. 426 00:20:50,829 --> 00:20:53,669 Speaker 1: I would also say the next option would be calling 427 00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:54,589 Speaker 1: the police. 428 00:20:55,189 --> 00:20:56,669 Speaker 2: About a nuisance. 429 00:20:57,229 --> 00:21:00,829 Speaker 1: Public nuisance, yes, but why can't you call the police 430 00:21:01,149 --> 00:21:02,429 Speaker 1: about a private nuisance? 431 00:21:02,909 --> 00:21:06,229 Speaker 2: There's a private nuisance in my home? What is it? It's 432 00:21:05,709 --> 00:21:06,349 Speaker 2: my baby. 433 00:21:06,949 --> 00:21:09,429 Speaker 1: There's a disturbance in my home to my residence, to 434 00:21:09,509 --> 00:21:10,109 Speaker 1: my residence. 435 00:21:10,589 --> 00:21:12,669 Speaker 2: What is it? It's my baby? Well in what way? 436 00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:16,109 Speaker 1: Well it's public urination blash, she's private ur a nation, 437 00:21:16,229 --> 00:21:18,189 Speaker 1: but it's in my home. We don't even know each 438 00:21:18,189 --> 00:21:22,549 Speaker 1: other that well, Claire, what is your advice to our listener? Okay, 439 00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:27,069 Speaker 1: so insofar as just having a chat with your baby 440 00:21:27,149 --> 00:21:29,309 Speaker 1: and you know, setting expectations that sort of thing, I 441 00:21:29,309 --> 00:21:31,549 Speaker 1: would ask, do you intend to always be grizzly? 442 00:21:31,829 --> 00:21:36,269 Speaker 2: Oh? Just a question for the baby, yeah, yeah. 443 00:21:36,989 --> 00:21:39,549 Speaker 1: But the biggest thing I would say, and I do 444 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,989 Speaker 1: think that this is a bit of a market. So 445 00:21:42,429 --> 00:21:46,109 Speaker 1: you've got things like you know, you've got baby doctors, 446 00:21:46,549 --> 00:21:52,549 Speaker 1: you've got baby chiropractice kind of controversial. You've got lactation consultants. 447 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:56,789 Speaker 1: You know what we don't have what baby clinical psychologists 448 00:21:57,669 --> 00:21:59,429 Speaker 1: fux when you're grizzly. 449 00:21:59,589 --> 00:22:00,949 Speaker 2: That's why we yellcolic. 450 00:22:01,509 --> 00:22:01,789 Speaker 1: Yes. 451 00:22:02,149 --> 00:22:02,389 Speaker 2: Yes. 452 00:22:02,549 --> 00:22:05,789 Speaker 1: If I'm not feeling myself, I'm feeling out of sorts, 453 00:22:05,869 --> 00:22:08,989 Speaker 1: I can go and get professional help and speak to someone, 454 00:22:09,189 --> 00:22:11,829 Speaker 1: get my ten sessions. It sounds like Ollie needs to 455 00:22:11,869 --> 00:22:14,229 Speaker 1: talk to someone, and it sounds like he needs to 456 00:22:14,309 --> 00:22:18,589 Speaker 1: sit there and go because you know, they say it's 457 00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:21,189 Speaker 1: okay to not be okay, So I think that that 458 00:22:21,269 --> 00:22:24,029 Speaker 1: psychologist needs to sit there. Look, will Ollie have a 459 00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:27,389 Speaker 1: lot to offer? I don't know, because the psychologist is 460 00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,229 Speaker 1: going to say, tell me about your family, and Olie's 461 00:22:29,269 --> 00:22:33,389 Speaker 1: gonna say, oh, I don't know them that well yet. Yeah. Yeah, 462 00:22:33,429 --> 00:22:35,829 Speaker 1: And this is the thing about Ollie, what's gone so 463 00:22:35,949 --> 00:22:39,269 Speaker 1: wrong for you? Yeah, it's not like you've got some 464 00:22:40,229 --> 00:22:44,469 Speaker 1: terrific experience that happened ten years ago that's re emerging. 465 00:22:44,469 --> 00:22:44,829 Speaker 2: Ollie. 466 00:22:45,149 --> 00:22:47,229 Speaker 1: I can count how many days you've been alive. I 467 00:22:47,269 --> 00:22:49,149 Speaker 1: was here for all of them, and other than a 468 00:22:49,189 --> 00:22:51,509 Speaker 1: nappy change and a bath that went, Hay, why things 469 00:22:51,589 --> 00:22:53,829 Speaker 1: really have not been that bad for you? I can 470 00:22:53,869 --> 00:22:56,029 Speaker 1: promise you things are going to get much worse and 471 00:22:56,069 --> 00:22:58,349 Speaker 1: this level of resilience isn't going to serve you. It 472 00:22:58,469 --> 00:23:01,069 Speaker 1: isn't going to help. Olie's going to look at the 473 00:23:01,109 --> 00:23:04,629 Speaker 1: psychologist and say, well, I'm confronted by the world. I'm 474 00:23:04,669 --> 00:23:08,709 Speaker 1: feeling feelings I didn't expect to feel. Everything is just 475 00:23:08,749 --> 00:23:11,909 Speaker 1: a blob. Well, the world can't cower to you, Ollie. 476 00:23:12,469 --> 00:23:15,389 Speaker 1: You're gonna have to learn another thing, which I would 477 00:23:15,429 --> 00:23:17,029 Speaker 1: just say is strategy for a lot of different things. 478 00:23:17,109 --> 00:23:19,189 Speaker 1: If you're in the house with someone else, maybe there's 479 00:23:19,229 --> 00:23:21,589 Speaker 1: another sibling, maybe there's a partner, maybe your parents are 480 00:23:21,629 --> 00:23:26,829 Speaker 1: around loudly bitching yeah about Ollie. Yeah, so just like, oh, 481 00:23:26,869 --> 00:23:31,509 Speaker 1: he never fucking shuts up? Mmmm yeah, really, love's a grizzle. 482 00:23:31,709 --> 00:23:32,949 Speaker 2: Ye what is it now, Ollie? 483 00:23:33,229 --> 00:23:36,269 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's actually really pissing me off. Yeah, like an 484 00:23:36,309 --> 00:23:41,749 Speaker 1: eye roll, a tart, like a slamming of the fridge loudly, 485 00:23:42,029 --> 00:23:45,389 Speaker 1: and he'll get the hint like, oh, I think that 486 00:23:45,429 --> 00:23:47,829 Speaker 1: will help with the settling, because patience isn't working. 487 00:23:47,949 --> 00:23:48,789 Speaker 2: No, it's not. 488 00:23:49,389 --> 00:23:52,589 Speaker 1: And I don't know about the bopping and the shushing 489 00:23:53,309 --> 00:23:57,109 Speaker 1: and the up and down and the padding. Do they 490 00:23:57,189 --> 00:24:00,309 Speaker 1: just eventually settle because time passes? There? I said it, Okay, 491 00:24:00,389 --> 00:24:04,149 Speaker 1: that's interesting. Yeah, is it actually a wee crazy? I 492 00:24:04,189 --> 00:24:06,949 Speaker 1: think we're crazy. The amount of laps I did around 493 00:24:06,949 --> 00:24:11,189 Speaker 1: my bench. I would go round my bech in my 494 00:24:11,269 --> 00:24:15,309 Speaker 1: laundroom holding her doing the things. And I had someone say, 495 00:24:15,469 --> 00:24:19,829 Speaker 1: like eight minutes. Fuck, eight minutes is a long time. Yeah, 496 00:24:19,909 --> 00:24:21,989 Speaker 1: to settle. It's like, can I look at my phone? No, 497 00:24:22,069 --> 00:24:24,389 Speaker 1: because you've just got to be fully focused on settling. 498 00:24:25,109 --> 00:24:30,589 Speaker 1: Settling isn't a task. It doesn't have like cleoparamab. It 499 00:24:30,629 --> 00:24:33,189 Speaker 1: doesn't and I don't fully know how to do it. 500 00:24:33,669 --> 00:24:35,709 Speaker 2: And I don't know. I think the time just passed. 501 00:24:35,709 --> 00:24:39,549 Speaker 2: I think she just farted. Is it because they don't 502 00:24:39,549 --> 00:24:40,589 Speaker 2: know how to push out a part? 503 00:24:40,629 --> 00:24:40,789 Speaker 1: Yeah? 504 00:24:40,829 --> 00:24:41,549 Speaker 2: I know genuinely. 505 00:24:41,589 --> 00:24:43,709 Speaker 1: I don't think farting is quite scary if you haven't 506 00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:46,589 Speaker 1: done it before. We hope you enjoyed this episode of 507 00:24:46,589 --> 00:24:50,789 Speaker 1: Baby Bubble and didn't find anything remotely helpful. Last week 508 00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:53,589 Speaker 1: we talked about the incompetence of our partners and how 509 00:24:53,629 --> 00:24:58,349 Speaker 1: we did think that they were adult sophisticated, that they 510 00:24:58,429 --> 00:25:03,509 Speaker 1: had initiative, that they were smart, that they were self sufficient, 511 00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:06,029 Speaker 1: and then as soon as the baby comes, you go, oh, 512 00:25:06,229 --> 00:25:07,589 Speaker 1: were you always this incompetent? 513 00:25:08,029 --> 00:25:09,789 Speaker 2: How do you go at work solving? 514 00:25:10,629 --> 00:25:11,149 Speaker 1: Yeah? 515 00:25:11,229 --> 00:25:12,829 Speaker 2: Because why how should you get here? 516 00:25:13,149 --> 00:25:15,789 Speaker 1: Yeah? Why did you flag this before we had a baby? 517 00:25:15,829 --> 00:25:18,349 Speaker 1: I didn't realize that you couldn't do the most basic 518 00:25:18,389 --> 00:25:21,229 Speaker 1: of things. If you enjoyed this podcast, we'd love it 519 00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:23,549 Speaker 1: if you could give it a virtual thumbs up is 520 00:25:23,549 --> 00:25:25,829 Speaker 1: actually called a rating. You can rate and review this 521 00:25:25,869 --> 00:25:27,589 Speaker 1: podcast in whatever app you're. 522 00:25:27,429 --> 00:25:32,429 Speaker 2: Listening to it in right now. We will see you next. 523 00:25:32,189 --> 00:25:34,349 Speaker 1: Week, and please share it with your Mother's Group, and 524 00:25:34,389 --> 00:25:37,829 Speaker 1: we want to know your experiences of trying to leave 525 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:40,869 Speaker 1: the house with a newborn. We definitely don't want tips, 526 00:25:40,869 --> 00:25:42,349 Speaker 1: We just want horror stories. 527 00:25:42,389 --> 00:25:45,029 Speaker 2: So please put it in your Mother's group. Get all 528 00:25:45,069 --> 00:25:45,669 Speaker 2: your stories. 529 00:25:45,949 --> 00:25:55,869 Speaker 1: I want to know them.