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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Seize the Yay Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Busy and happy are not the same thing. We too

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Speaker 2: rarely question what makes the heart seeing. We work, then

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Speaker 2: we rest, but rarely we play and often don't realize

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Speaker 2: there's more than one way. So this is the platforms to.

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Speaker 1: Hear and explore the stories of those who found lives

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Speaker 1: They adore, the good, bad and ugly, The best and

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Speaker 1: worst day will bear all the facets of Seizing your Yea.

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Speaker 1: I'm Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer

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Speaker 1: turned funentrepreneur who swapped the suits and heels to co

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Speaker 1: found Matcha Maiden and Matcha Milk bar Czya is a

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Speaker 1: series of conversations on finding a life you love and

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Speaker 1: exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy.

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Speaker 3: And fulfillment along the way.

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Speaker 1: Hello, lovely neighborhood. Welcome back to the show, including welcome

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Speaker 1: back to myself because I realize it's been an entire

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Speaker 1: month since our last episode, which was Our birth Story

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Speaker 1: hosted by the wonderful Sophie of the Australian Birth Stories podcast,

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Speaker 1: and this of course was meant to be the follow

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Speaker 1: up to that, where I answer any of your questions

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Speaker 1: that you submitted in response to what came out in

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Speaker 1: that first episode. Technically this is still a follow up episode.

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Speaker 1: It just followed a lot later than I initially intended.

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Speaker 1: But that is just the perfect example of the world.

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Speaker 3: That I live in now. It's Teddy's world.

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Speaker 1: We're all just living in it. This is maybe the

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Speaker 1: sixteenth time I've sat down to try and record this,

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Speaker 1: which is why it's taken so long to get it

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Speaker 1: to you guys. He just point blank refuses to let

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Speaker 1: me do the entire episode with him in a separate room.

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Speaker 1: So this time he's in the carrier, which means his

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Speaker 1: head's very close to the microphone, so he's pretty much

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Speaker 1: co hosting. He might contribute a few noises here and there.

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Speaker 1: No one prepares you for how loud newborns are at

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Speaker 1: all times, especially overnight. Sometimes it feels like there's a

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Speaker 1: little pug living in our house. It's just something I

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Speaker 1: was so surprised by.

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Speaker 3: No one prepared me for that.

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Speaker 1: But also the gap between episodes is probably part of

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Speaker 1: me just losing all concept of time. I have no

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Speaker 1: idea what the day is, what the date is, and

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Speaker 1: I had no idea that it had been a month

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Speaker 1: since the last episode, but I did know how many

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Speaker 1: times I'd tried to record, and I think part of

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Speaker 1: it is just surrendering to not being able to keep

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Speaker 1: the same schedule as normal. I'm so grateful that you

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Speaker 1: guys are so patient. It's been a real exercise in

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Speaker 1: surrender and changing the expectations that I have on myself.

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Speaker 1: It's a whole identity thing. But there's a whole section

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Speaker 1: on that of questions that you guys submitted, so we

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Speaker 1: will get to that eventually. Thank you so much to

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Speaker 1: everyone who listened to the birth Story episode and took

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Speaker 1: the time to write beautiful messages and share your own

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Speaker 1: stories back. And I know I say it every Q

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Speaker 1: and a episode, but it really is a gift that

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Speaker 1: you guys give when you submit follow up questions, because

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Speaker 1: it's so rare that you actually sit down and reflect

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Speaker 1: on some of these things. I hadn't even thought of

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Speaker 1: half of these questions, but now you give me the

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Speaker 1: opportunity to sit down and almost write a diary of

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Speaker 1: how I felt at a particular moment in time, which

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Speaker 1: changes so quickly, and if you don't write it down

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Speaker 1: or record it somewhere, you forget how you felt. There

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Speaker 1: are so many different emotions, and I'm so grateful that

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Speaker 1: one day, when Teddy's bigger, I can go I can

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Speaker 1: remember what this hazy time in our life actually felt like.

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Speaker 1: And same goes for that first episode. It was very,

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Speaker 1: very early. I felt not confident at all about my

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Speaker 1: ability to be coherent. I still don't, so apologies in advance.

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Speaker 3: I know I'm still rambling.

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Speaker 1: I've tried to recall this quite a few times, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes it was Teddy interrupting. Mostly it was myself because

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Speaker 1: I just didn't feel like I was clear enough. But

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Speaker 1: I know it was really early, and part of the

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Speaker 1: reason there was so many follow up questions is because

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Speaker 1: I didn't get to some topics. I didn't give enough

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Speaker 1: detail on some topics. We ran out of time as well,

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Speaker 1: because it's just so much to cover. But I'm really

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Speaker 1: glad now that I pushed through and did it, because

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Speaker 1: I didn't when the emotions were so raw. It was

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Speaker 1: really close to just.

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Speaker 3: Having given birth.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm really glad that I haven't had time

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Speaker 1: to sort of sanitize my answers, which you do if

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Speaker 1: you leave it too long. So on the flip side,

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Speaker 1: oh Budy. On the flip side. I'm also kind of

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Speaker 1: glad that it's taken four weeks to do the follow

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Speaker 1: up because it's allowed more milestones to happen. Like last night,

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Speaker 1: for example, was the very very first night I left

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Speaker 1: Teddy and went out to an event for our dear

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Speaker 1: friend Kahn's restaurant launch that he's doing a pop up

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Speaker 1: at Crown. You can see the details on socials if

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Speaker 1: you haven't seen them already, And that involved a whole

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Speaker 1: logistical thing around breastfeeding and expression and bottles, and that

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Speaker 1: led to all these new questions that people wanted me

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Speaker 1: to address in the podcast that I hadn't They hadn't

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Speaker 1: been submitted in the first few rounds of questions. So

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Speaker 1: maybe it was all meant to be. Maybe we needed

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Speaker 1: to have a month between the episodes. I don't know

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Speaker 1: that's how I'm going to interpret it, but either way,

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Speaker 1: thank you guys so much for being so interested and

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Speaker 1: excited for us in this wonderful journey. Teddy is an

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Speaker 1: absolute dream. I feel like I was born to be

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Speaker 1: a mum. I've loved every minute so much and really

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Speaker 1: appreciate the opportunity to reflect.

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Speaker 3: On your questions.

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Speaker 1: So what I've done because I know it's not all

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Speaker 1: relevant to all of you. Is group them into themes

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Speaker 1: that are kind of chronological. So I've started with the

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Speaker 1: delivery generally like hospital bag, choosing private versus public, all

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Speaker 1: that stuff. Then the main section, yeah I didn't go

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Speaker 1: into as much detail as I would have liked, was

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Speaker 1: the cesarean and that happened to be where most of

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Speaker 1: your questions are, so I'll go into more detail about that.

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Speaker 1: Then there's the feeding, the bottles, expressing, and then getting home.

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Speaker 1: So the first few days at home, the first few weeks,

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Speaker 1: some of the items we've got, like the snoother are

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Speaker 1: a lot of questions about, and then the identity questions

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Speaker 1: about how much time I'm taking off working the mum

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Speaker 1: juggle and making time for us as a couple, and

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Speaker 1: I won't have the time stamps, but I've listed all

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Speaker 1: the questions in order in the show notes so you

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Speaker 1: can more easily skip through.

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Speaker 3: To the bit that's relevant to you.

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Speaker 1: I can't guarantee we'll actually make it through, but we've

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Speaker 1: already made it much further than we have in any

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Speaker 1: other attempt, so I feel like we're on a good wicket.

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Speaker 1: Just a quick disclaimer before we begin as always, this

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Speaker 1: is just my personal experience. I don't have any medical background.

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Speaker 1: Please excuse any mistakes that I make in explaining things

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Speaker 1: from a procedural perspective. Any medical professionals that are listening,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you will cringe at some of the things

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Speaker 1: I say. I'm just sharing how we felt and our experience,

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Speaker 1: and if I could give anyone any advice in this area,

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Speaker 1: it's actually that there is no advice that's universal. There

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Speaker 1: really is nothing that's going to suit every parent and

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Speaker 1: every child, and yet there is so much information. And

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Speaker 1: I think my biggest lesson in observation so far has

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Speaker 1: been there is no other area in life where there

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Speaker 1: are so many different opinions, such a volume of opinions,

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Speaker 1: so much judgment about the opinions and which ones you

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Speaker 1: listen to. And that's judgment from others, but also on yourself.

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Speaker 1: We're so critical of ourselves as parents in ways that

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Speaker 1: I've never been critical of myself as an individual beforehand.

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Speaker 1: So it's just such a sensitive, heightened emotional area, and

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Speaker 1: anything can be triggering at any time. Also, you've got

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Speaker 1: hormones going wild when you're reading a lot of the materials,

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Speaker 1: so all I will say is I'm just going to

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Speaker 1: share what I found useful, as I usually do in

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Speaker 1: things that aren't related to parenthood, and please take all

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Speaker 1: of it with a grain of salt, because it is

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Speaker 1: really finding the right balance for you and what works

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Speaker 1: for me one day. Like I will answer all of

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Speaker 1: these questions differently when we do the next episode, which

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Speaker 1: will probably be in twenty twenty five at this rate,

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Speaker 1: So please keep that in mind when you're listening. But

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Speaker 1: I hope that in amongst all the anecdotal answers, that

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Speaker 1: maybe there's something helpful in there for you, And at

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Speaker 1: the very least I will have enjoyed the process because

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Speaker 1: it really is like keeping a beautiful journal. And I

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Speaker 1: can't wait to listen back to this one day. Maybe

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Speaker 1: cringe at all my answers, but remember how I felt

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Speaker 1: at this special special time. Okay, oh my god, we

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Speaker 1: actually made it to the questions. This is the first

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Speaker 1: time we've made it to the questions. I'm so proud

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Speaker 1: of us, little Teddy. Okay, first question was did you

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Speaker 1: feel any warning going into labor? Short answer? You know,

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Speaker 1: I don't do short answers, but I'm going to try

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Speaker 1: and do one or a few in this episode is no,

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Speaker 1: I didn't feel any warning. As you guys know from

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Speaker 1: the previous episode, we had a c set booked in

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Speaker 1: for thirty nine weeks because Teddy was breach which means

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Speaker 1: upside down, and then we went in a week earlier

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Speaker 1: than that at thirty eight for our just regular checkup,

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Speaker 1: and my waters broke, so I actually went into labor naturally,

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Speaker 1: even though I ended up having a C section and

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Speaker 1: I labored for six hours. But interestingly, I had no

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Speaker 1: idea on the day. There was no sort of niggerly

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Speaker 1: weird feelings or extra pain or cramps or changes. I

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Speaker 1: was so unprepared that I went in without a bra,

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Speaker 1: no handbag, just my phone. We didn't pack the hospital

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Speaker 1: bag or anything. It just felt so foreign and like

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Speaker 1: just out of the realm of possibility that we could

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Speaker 1: give birth that day, because I think one of the

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Speaker 1: things that comes with a cesarean is that you get

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Speaker 1: this added certainty of having a booked date, so you're

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Speaker 1: not kind of waiting for labor to just come at

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Speaker 1: any time. But then we discounted the fact that it

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Speaker 1: could still happen spontaneously before thirty nine weeks, So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just wasn't prepared, and I had started feeling more

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Speaker 1: heavy and more uncomfortable about a week earlier than that,

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Speaker 1: so around thirty seven weeks, so I knew that stuff

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Speaker 1: was happening, but there was no warning. On the day

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Speaker 1: that I was going to go into labor. I had

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Speaker 1: lost my mucus plug, which is one of the very

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Speaker 1: very early signs of things starting to happen around thirty

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Speaker 1: seven weeks, but that was a good few days beforehand,

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Speaker 1: and nothing had changed since then. So yeah, on the day, no,

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Speaker 1: I had no idea. So it was a big surprise

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Speaker 1: when my waters just exploded everywhere, but obviously a really wonderful,

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Speaker 1: happy surprise. The next question was why did we choose

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Speaker 1: private health? And this is having just talked about taking things,

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Speaker 1: taking your own personal approach to things, this is a

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Speaker 1: very personal question that depends very heavily on your circumstances,

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Speaker 1: and I'm probably not going to get all.

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Speaker 3: The facts right.

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Speaker 1: But the public versus private question is something you decide

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Speaker 1: quite early. It's a really big one because you're choosing

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Speaker 1: your obstetrician or you're choosing your pathway early on. There

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Speaker 1: are a lot of different factors at play, but the

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Speaker 1: most obvious one I think is probably cost. If you

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Speaker 1: go in the public system, then Medicare will cover the

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Speaker 1: costs for you. If you go private, then either you

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Speaker 1: will have private health insurance and it will cover it

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Speaker 1: for you. There might be a few out of pocket costs,

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Speaker 1: or there's a bit of a complication here where your

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Speaker 1: most policies by default don't cover pregnancy, and you have

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Speaker 1: to add it when you're ready so that you're not

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Speaker 1: paying for it your whole life.

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Speaker 3: The problem is a.

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Speaker 1: Lot of those policies, when you add pregnancy, it takes

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Speaker 1: twelve months of waiting before it activates, So if you

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Speaker 1: wait until the day that you're pregnant, then you'll give.

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Speaker 3: Birth before it activates.

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Speaker 1: And that's why if you haven't thought about it yet

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Speaker 1: but you're thinking of getting pregnant, we added pregnancy to

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Speaker 1: our policy years before, like when we first started thinking

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Speaker 1: about it, so that that waiting period would have activated.

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Speaker 1: So for us we were in the position where our

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Speaker 1: private health did cover pregnancy, or we could choose public.

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Speaker 1: If you didn't have that option because your waiting period

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Speaker 1: wasn't hadn't actually passed, then sometimes the decisions made for

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Speaker 1: you if you really still wanted to go private, you

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Speaker 1: could just choose to pay the out of pocket cost

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Speaker 1: for the private hospital, and that obviously is much much

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Speaker 1: more expensive, and I think it varies a lot hospital

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Speaker 1: to hospital, but it could be you know, in the

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Speaker 1: tens of thousands to get all your cost covered. So

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of difference when it comes to your

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Speaker 1: financial position. So that's probably the first thing. The second

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Speaker 1: thing is how high risk your pregnancy is. You might

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Speaker 1: choose to go for a particular obstetrician, in which case

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Speaker 1: you would go to the hospital where that obstrition is.

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Speaker 1: One of the big parts of going private is that

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Speaker 1: you choose your obstrition and you get that same person

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Speaker 1: the entire time. Because we had had a pregnancy loss

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Speaker 1: and we were a bit older. I was technically a

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Speaker 1: geriatric pregnancy, which is anywhere from I think thirty four

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Speaker 1: years old, which is crazy, but that's another topic. We

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Speaker 1: wanted that continuity of having the same person check in

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Speaker 1: on us, so that was a big incentive to go private.

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Speaker 1: In the public system. You still, we are so fortunate

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Speaker 1: in this country that we knew in terms of the care,

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Speaker 1: there are excellent doctors that both we were going to

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Speaker 1: get amazing care no matter what. But it was that

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Speaker 1: continuity for us. So in the public system, you don't

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Speaker 1: necessarily get one person and.

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Speaker 3: Stick with them the whole time.

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Speaker 1: They're sort of a group of people that will tend

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Speaker 1: to you during your pregnancy and your delivery, and you

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily guarantee who that is. There are some people

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Speaker 1: that go into a continuity of care stream, but I

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Speaker 1: think places are limited, so there's a big difference there

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Speaker 1: depending on your preference or the level of risk of

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Speaker 1: your pregnancy. The biggest thing for us, what it actually

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Speaker 1: came down to in the end, was actually the aftercare.

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Speaker 1: So there's a lot of other factors in between, but

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Speaker 1: this was the decider for us. In the public system,

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Speaker 1: you often will be sharing a room with other mothers

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Speaker 1: who have delivered are about to deliver. But also you

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Speaker 1: can get sent home anywhere from six hours after delivery

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Speaker 1: if you have a cesarean or those complications office, that's different,

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Speaker 1: but you get sent home quite a lot more quickly

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Speaker 1: than you would in private. In the private health system,

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Speaker 1: most hospitals, I think it's from four to five nights

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Speaker 1: and an extra night and day if you had a

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Speaker 1: sea section at Cabrini, where we were.

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Speaker 3: We had five.

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Speaker 1: Nights in six days because of the sea section, so

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Speaker 1: to me, as a kind of nervous first time parent

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Speaker 1: who had had a little bit of complication along the way,

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Speaker 1: we really wanted that knowledge that we would have the

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Speaker 1: extra nearly a week of recovery, surrounded by midwives and

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Speaker 1: check ins from our ob who was the same again,

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Speaker 1: the same person who had had the whole time and

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Speaker 1: knew we wouldn't go home, sort of feeling like, oh

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Speaker 1: my God, who let us go home with this child

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Speaker 1: that we need to keep alive, which definitely does still happen,

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Speaker 1: but you have a little bit of a head start

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Speaker 1: to kind of recover, particularly from the wound, but just

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Speaker 1: recover from your entire world being shaken up. With the

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Speaker 1: support of medical professionals who can help you. You have

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Speaker 1: your first freak out about everything in the hospital before

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Speaker 1: you go home. And that was pretty much enough for

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Speaker 1: us to decide that we would try and get pregnancy

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Speaker 1: added to our policy and then have.

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Speaker 3: It activated before we gave birth.

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Speaker 1: Which ended up being a wonderful decision for us. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that six days was pivotal in making me

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Speaker 1: feel like a confident, like not riddled by anxiety in

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Speaker 1: coming home, and I would otherwise as a control freak,

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Speaker 1: that's really OCD.

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Speaker 3: I would otherwise have.

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Speaker 1: Probably been at risk of being very overthinking everything. But

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Speaker 1: that six days made such a difference. So that's why

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Speaker 1: we chose private health. And I know that's a really

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Speaker 1: great privilege, but definitely it's something that you should look

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Speaker 1: into and look into the pros and cons. And Sophie,

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Speaker 1: who hosted our last episode from Australian Birth Stories her

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Speaker 1: Guide to Pregnancy and Birth. The book has a wonderful

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Speaker 1: section that can help you decide sort of what the

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Speaker 1: factors are and balance that out for you. Hospital bag

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Speaker 1: recommendations was another one. This is probably a bit of

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Speaker 1: a difficult one to answer in an audio like without

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Speaker 1: me just literally reading out a list to you. So

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Speaker 1: what I might do for this one is I'll write

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Speaker 1: up a list and to pop the link in the

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Speaker 1: show notes for you. All I'll say here is that

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Speaker 1: there is a big difference. Having just said that, the

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Speaker 1: stay length is quite different, and there's a different list

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Speaker 1: for a stay in a public hospital because you might

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Speaker 1: be home that night versus knowing that you'll be there

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Speaker 1: for a couple of days in the private system, so

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Speaker 1: obviously it's a much longer list, and mine will be

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Speaker 1: tailored towards that.

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Speaker 3: But there are a couple.

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Speaker 1: Of amazing resources that have lists with general rules about

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Speaker 1: how many things per night for both you and the baby,

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Speaker 1: and I'll link those as well. So the memo is

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Speaker 1: an amazing and we've had the founder on you guys

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Speaker 1: probably already know about it. It's the mecha of baby Everything, Baby, childbirth,

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Speaker 1: prenat or postpartum. But online they also have these amazing

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Speaker 1: lists and that helps you form the basis of your

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Speaker 1: own list. There's a couple of hospitals that write amazing list,

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Speaker 1: so I'll put some of the links in that helped

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Speaker 1: me write mine. I'll include my own as well. But

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Speaker 1: you know, there's a few basic rules, like the baby

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Speaker 1: will always need one more layer than you're wearing that

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Speaker 1: you know, per day, they'll probably go through at least

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Speaker 1: two to three sets of that thing because there's so

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Speaker 1: many bodily fluids going on, they change a lot more

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Speaker 1: each day than I expected, so you definitely need to

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Speaker 1: pack more than one outfit for them each day. And

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Speaker 1: then the only other thing I'll add for the hospital bag.

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Speaker 1: Is that I spent a lot of time, like most

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Speaker 1: of you probably will, looking at what other people wore,

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Speaker 1: kind of planning my going home outfit, getting cute photos,

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Speaker 1: like thinking that you're going to be doing all that stuff. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: while I was in the hospital, I just wore that

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Speaker 1: either the mesh hospital undies with the pad or the

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Speaker 1: disposable nappy undies that I had, which were from both

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Speaker 1: were from bear Mum. I'll include the link to those

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Speaker 1: as well. They were amazing for recovery. I just kicked

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Speaker 1: around in those and my nursing bra like I literally

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Speaker 1: just I thought I was gonna wear all these outfits.

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Speaker 1: I didn't wear any clothes. You're just uncomfortable. You want

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Speaker 1: to be free, no one, You're not seeing anyone if

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Speaker 1: you did get a bit cold. I had a robe

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Speaker 1: and I could just throw it on over the top,

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Speaker 1: but I was not wearing outfits. I definitely wasn't wearing

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Speaker 1: anything with elastic around the waist. So I think you

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Speaker 1: need a lot less than I think that you originally

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Speaker 1: believe that you do. We were really lucky we lived

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Speaker 1: near the hospital, so Nick could also go home and

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Speaker 1: grab stuff. But yes, I will include the list for that.

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Speaker 1: One of the other questions was what did you wear postop?

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Speaker 1: So I think, yeah, I just answered that I didn't

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Speaker 1: have an outfit. I just rocked around in my knickers

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Speaker 1: and then a robe when it got cold, and honestly,

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Speaker 1: that was the most comfortable. I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: mums pack a lot of things and then they don't

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Speaker 1: touch them. Did I go straight back to my normal

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Speaker 1: diet after gestational diabetes?

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Speaker 3: Great question.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I don't know whether I was supposed to do

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Speaker 1: more tests, but I literally gave birth and then the

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Speaker 1: first meal they served me was normal and I was

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Speaker 1: loving my life so much when I had that first

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Speaker 1: piece of toast.

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Speaker 3: I had misbread so much.

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Speaker 1: So yes, I went straight back to my normal diet.

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Speaker 1: To the baby for their blood sugar levels, I think

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Speaker 1: three times in the first twenty four hours. So another

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Speaker 1: thing there's a lot of memes about is they wake

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Speaker 1: you up a lot in that first little bit where

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Speaker 1: you just want to be asleep, but that's to test

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Speaker 1: the baby and make sure that their insulin and everything

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Speaker 1: is fine. But I didn't have any tests and I

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Speaker 1: just went straight back to eating normally, which was amazing.

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Speaker 1: But having said that, you've all heard me say that

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Speaker 1: there were many silver linings to having GD, and I

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Speaker 1: went into delivery and labor feeling very strong and very

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Speaker 1: well nourished, and much less full of KFC than I

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Speaker 1: would have been otherwise if I'd been left to my

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Speaker 1: own devices. Oh okay, So the next section is on

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Speaker 1: the cesarean and this is the part in the first

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Speaker 1: episode where I didn't go into as much detail as

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Speaker 1: I wanted to, but purely because of time and also

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Speaker 1: because yeah, I was in such a haze.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know what I said.

401
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:54,159
Speaker 1: I'm probably repeating myself apologies along the wave. I'm repeating

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Speaker 1: things I've said in the earlier episode, just trying to

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Speaker 1: answer as best I can.

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Speaker 3: But first, there was his.

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Speaker 1: Suggestion rather than a question, which I thought was worth mentioning,

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Speaker 1: and that was to change the language of natural birth

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Speaker 1: in contrast to my cesarean to vaginal birth. So I

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Speaker 1: think sometimes, as I mentioned before, there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: judgment and stigma around different types of birth and different

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Speaker 1: types of feeding, and calling a vaginal birth a natural

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Speaker 1: birth can sometimes imply or might sound like I mean

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Speaker 1: that a cesarean birth is not natural. I have had

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Speaker 1: the most positive experience having a sea section. I didn't

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Speaker 1: choose it, it was chosen by Teddy being breach, and

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Speaker 1: I ended up coming to the conclusion that I trusted

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Speaker 1: my medical team beyond anything. They were the experts, they

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Speaker 1: had the knowledge, and all I wanted above anything was

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Speaker 1: the safe and healthy delivery of Teddy, and if that

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Speaker 1: had to be by sea section, then I definitely felt

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Speaker 1: a little bit of disappointment at not being able to

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Speaker 1: experience a vaginal birth or just a natural labor. Interestingly,

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Speaker 1: as you know, I ended up getting to experience it

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Speaker 1: for a little while. Anyway, I kind of had a

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Speaker 1: bit of both. But I do know that for some

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00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,160
Speaker 1: people it could be triggering for one to be called

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00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,360
Speaker 1: natural birth and one to not be called natural, so

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Speaker 1: I will try and use vaginal birth. I think mainly

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Speaker 1: the reason I called it natural is because I hate

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Speaker 1: the word vagina. I just think it's gross. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why, I just don't like the words, so maybe

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Speaker 1: I was just trying not to say vaginal over and

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Speaker 1: over again. Anyway, that was a really wonderful suggestion, and

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Speaker 1: the terminology is a really it's a bit of a minefield.

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Speaker 1: So again I'm not an expert, and I might say

435
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Speaker 1: the wrong things, particularly now it gets a bit technical,

436
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 1: but I know.

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Speaker 3: People were really interested about the sea section.

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Speaker 1: And it is really nerve wracking. It is, especially if

439
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 1: you weren't planning on a C section. We did our

440
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,199
Speaker 1: birth classes before it had been decided, so a lot

441
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,480
Speaker 1: of our preparation was a round a vaginal birth, and

442
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 1: suddenly everything changed. And you often, I think there's a

443
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:53,120
Speaker 1: big perception of the kind of womanliness or the yeah,

444
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,359
Speaker 1: the attachment to nature of going through a vaginal birth

445
00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:01,919
Speaker 1: versus not having the the baby, having the exposure to

446
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 1: all the bacteria and the vaginal canal, like, there's so

447
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 1: many elements to it. I'm not sure a lot about

448
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 1: the science, but C sections are incredibly common, and I

449
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,199
Speaker 1: personally was still able to have an experience that was

450
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: magical because it was the first moment I met my child,

451
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 1: and the whole team were so embracing of still wanting

452
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 1: it to feel really loving and nurturing and as not

453
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: clinical as it possibly could be, considering that I wasn't

454
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 1: going through a natural labor. And one of the things

455
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,360
Speaker 1: that surprised me the most is that it's so fast.

456
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 1: It is so fast, literally I went in and then

457
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 1: like fifteen minutes later, I was a mum. It was

458
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 1: just it blew my mind. I don't know why I

459
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 1: thought it would take longer, but I just did. And

460
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 1: then suddenly they're like.

461
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 3: Here he is. I was like, oh my god, this

462
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,640
Speaker 3: is my child. Oh.

463
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 1: So, the first question was about the hospital bag for

464
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 1: a C section, which is, yes, admittedly quite different, but

465
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 1: mainly because you spend a lot more time in the hospital.

466
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,719
Speaker 1: The other big difference for me, which will only make

467
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: sense once you've seen the list, is that there's a

468
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,679
Speaker 1: lot of things on a vaginal birth hospital list for

469
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 1: your peraneum, which is the area that often tears during

470
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 1: a vaginal birth, and that's like a pary bottle, a

471
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 1: piry spray, which helps you know, wash or soothe the

472
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 1: area because you can't reach it as easily. I personally

473
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: found I didn't need any of those things. Some people

474
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 1: still use them around the wound, or you know, you

475
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 1: don't shower straight away after either. I don't think either

476
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 1: type of birth because you're just so oh my god,

477
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,919
Speaker 1: it's wild. But I found that I cut out that

478
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 1: whole area in my list.

479
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 3: I didn't take.

480
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 1: Any pery anything, but I did still really really appreciate

481
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: the disposable nappies because they were loose around where your

482
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 1: wound would be. The hospital mesh unders that you get

483
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 1: are also the same. They were really loose. I changed

484
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,439
Speaker 1: the waste of everything. That was the big difference for

485
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: me with the sea section is that I didn't take

486
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 1: any pants. I didn't take anything that had elastic around

487
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: the waist. The only items of clothes I did take

488
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,400
Speaker 1: were like loose, oversized T shirts, and I had one

489
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 1: nighty that was nursing friendly as well that was from

490
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: Ah oh Gosh. I'll include the link in the show notes.

491
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly where it was from, but you

492
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: just don't want anything tight around your waist when you've

493
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,719
Speaker 1: got sort of a fresh sea section wound. So that

494
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: was the biggest difference for me. I wouldn't pack pants

495
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: or shorts or anything like that. The next question was

496
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: was I panicky or anxious going into the sea section? Wildly,

497
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 1: I actually was very calm. I don't know why I

498
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: was obviously nervous, but I think part of it was

499
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 1: just trusting my ob so implicitly, I just felt so

500
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 1: secure in her care and in her ability to make

501
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: decisions that she had the same risk balance and risk

502
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 1: tolerance as I did, and the same values as I did,

503
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 1: and it's just an excellent She's the head of maternity

504
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 1: at Cabrini, and that alone, like really trusting in your

505
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 1: medical team, takes away a lot of anxiety. I thought

506
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 1: there'd be a little bit of panic around the fact

507
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 1: it was a surprise, but I actually think there was

508
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: less panic because it was a surprise if we'd known

509
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: the date. A lot of people say that the only

510
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 1: part of knowing the date of a C section that's hard.

511
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: It's good because you get certainty, but it's hard because

512
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: then you don't sleep for like a couple of nights

513
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: before because you know it's coming, rather than it being

514
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 1: a surprise, and you can just go about your life.

515
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: Because it was a surprise for us, I was just

516
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 1: going about my life. I wasn't counting down and knowing

517
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,120
Speaker 1: it was tomorrow. So maybe I was a bit less

518
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 1: panicky because I just didn't have time to think about it.

519
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 1: It just all happened, and by the time my brain

520
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 1: had caught up with me, i'd already had him. So

521
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was a combination of those circumstances.

522
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: I felt very calm, and I think also when you

523
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: have done a lot of research and birth education, you

524
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: also know a lot about the statistics and the risks.

525
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,360
Speaker 1: You know it's very common. I knew everything that was happening.

526
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 1: One of the biggest parts of fear is not being informed,

527
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: I think, and not knowing what's going on. But I

528
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: knew what anesthetic I was getting, I knew why, I

529
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: knew what order things would happen in. The team were

530
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 1: amazing at talking us through everything, and I was definitely nervous,

531
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 1: but not panicky, and I was extremely excited. As I mentioned,

532
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 1: there was probably one half hour period when we first

533
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: decided where I was a bit disappointed about doing a

534
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 1: C section.

535
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 3: There's a bit of a.

536
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 1: Perception around the idea that it's a cop out because

537
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 1: it's easier after having done the recovery. It's not easier,

538
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: it's just different. It's quicker, it's different. It's a super

539
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: dramatic surgery. They rearrange your organs like. It's not easy.

540
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: It's just different. So don't ever think it's a cop out.

541
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: You have still birthed a child, grown them from scratch,

542
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 1: and brought a human into the world. But yes, it

543
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: really helped me to have looked at what the actual

544
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 1: steps are in getting a local anesthetic to then get

545
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: your oh sorry, getting like, yeah, an anesthetic on your skin,

546
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 1: to then get the need or that gives you the

547
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: actual anesthetic that numbs the bottom.

548
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 3: Half of your body.

549
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: There's a screen, put you lye on your back, and

550
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 1: there's a screen so that you can't see what's going on,

551
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: but you can ask if you would like the screen

552
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,880
Speaker 1: to be pushed open as the baby is lifted out

553
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: of you. The biggest surprise for me is that you

554
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 1: could feel more than I expected. No pain, but you

555
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 1: can just feel the pulling sensation, which blew my mind.

556
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: I thought i'd feel nothing, so that was a big surprise.

557
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: But yes, so it was happening in exactly the order

558
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: that I thought it would. As I mentioned, you do

559
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: the anesthetic, you're go in, they cut the wound, they

560
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: pull out the baby, they put the baby on you,

561
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: and you get skin to skin. Teddy had a little

562
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 1: bit of trouble breathing at the start, so they took

563
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 1: him to the side and gave him some oxygen, then

564
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 1: brought him back and then he went off to get

565
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 1: weigh and do all that stuff, and I went into

566
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: recovery just to make sure that I obviously got stitched

567
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,360
Speaker 1: back up, and then went into recovery to make sure

568
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 1: everything came back to a good level, and then we

569
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: met back in the room.

570
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 3: So it was all exactly.

571
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: What I expected that it would be, and I had

572
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 1: a beautiful experience. I met my son for the first

573
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 1: time and it was Yeah, it was really wonderful.

574
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 3: Okay, C section recovery.

575
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,719
Speaker 1: This is the area where I had the most questions,

576
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 1: but I probably covered in the least detail in the

577
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 1: last episode. And again it's one of those ones where

578
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,959
Speaker 1: I'm going to give the dickiest answer, which is to

579
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: start with that it's going to be so different for everyone.

580
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,239
Speaker 1: So a lot of people's questions also included in it

581
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,719
Speaker 1: a comment about how many weeks they're at and that

582
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: they might still be feeling pain and is that normal?

583
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: And I don't think there is a normal. I really

584
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: think our bodies are all so differently composed. Are levels

585
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 1: of activity, the weight of your baby, whether your house

586
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 1: has stairs or not, how much exercise you did beforehand.

587
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: Also during pregnancy, we all will have different levels of

588
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: ab separation, and so it will take longer or shorter

589
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 1: for them to come back together. It's just going to

590
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: vary so much. So I'll share as much as I

591
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 1: remember about the time markers of when things happened in

592
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: my recovery and tips about what helped, and then just

593
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 1: take it all with a grain of salt, also because

594
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: who knows if I'm actually remembering it properly. I'm going

595
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 1: to use photos of my diary to try and be

596
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: as accurate as I can. But yeah, remember that everyone

597
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: will be recovering at a different rate. So I'll start

598
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: now and then go back to the start at about seven.

599
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 3: And a half weeks.

600
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 1: Now, I would say I'm much more recovered than I

601
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: expect it to be, And hopefully that's reassuring for some

602
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 1: of you, because when you actually think about it, it's

603
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 1: quite a dramatic abdominal surgery. They have taken a baby

604
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 1: out of a space where it's been taking up so

605
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 1: much room, and then suddenly all your organs can move

606
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 1: back to where they were before. But that happens very quickly,

607
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: and yeah, everything gets reorganized. But in any other situation,

608
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: if you had a surgery that big, you'd be on

609
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: bed rest and you wouldn't get up, and you'd be

610
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: resting and sleeping. But with a newborn, then suddenly you've

611
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 1: had the surgery. But then you've got to be moving

612
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,239
Speaker 1: and up and down and changing them and holding them

613
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: and looking after them, and also not sleeping. So it

614
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: definitely will take you longer than it might have if

615
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: you were able to just life flight and rest. But

616
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 1: now at seven weeks, I actually just had my follow

617
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 1: up appointment this morning, so the timing again it kind

618
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 1: of worked out that we left it this long. That

619
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: was the first time that I had the dressing taken

620
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 1: off my incision. It has healed completely, healing really well.

621
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 1: Other than when I physically apply pressure to the wound,

622
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: like to the actual way the scar is. That's still

623
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: a bit tender and it's still quite lumpy underneath, but

624
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: the wound itself is healed. You can just see the scar,

625
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 1: and now is when I can start to use oil

626
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 1: or vitamin E to improve the appearance of the scar

627
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: and then start to kind of massage the lumpiness underneath

628
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 1: to help that go back to normal. But pain wise,

629
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: unless I'm pressing on the site, there's a few times

630
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 1: where I'll notice a bit of a pull. I'm clear

631
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: to start exercising, and once I do start, I'm sure

632
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: certain things will not feel as comfortable, but pain wise,

633
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 1: I often forget about it. For a couple of weeks

634
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: now have been able to just move around, run up

635
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 1: and downstairs, lift Teddy and not even notice. And that's

636
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: a lot quicker than I was expecting. So that's been

637
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 1: a really positive thing. I thought if I had been

638
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: if I had heard that, you know, seven weeks ago,

639
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: I'd feel really reassured by that. The whole process has

640
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: actually been less intense than I thought it was going

641
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 1: to be. But so to go back to the beginning.

642
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 1: As soon as you come out of surgery. The first

643
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 1: obviously the time that I was in the hospital, and

644
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: then the first couple of days at home, I was

645
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: using painkillers. I usually don't even take pan at all,

646
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: so that was quite foreign to me. But the first

647
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: tip is just whatever they give you. Like I said,

648
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 1: it's a dramatic surgery. You wouldn't normally be up and

649
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: about during that time. Pain management helps so much for

650
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 1: you to be able to engage in how special that

651
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 1: time is and how overwhelming it is. You've got so

652
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: much to deal with with a tiny, little human. So

653
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: I get that pain managed in that early few days

654
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: where it is quite intense. That was really, really helpful.

655
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: So you know, obviously that will be tailored to you,

656
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: and that will be the decision of you and your doctors.

657
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 3: So in the first twenty.

658
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 1: Four hours, it takes about that time for the anesthetic

659
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 1: to wear off. So I had a catheter. You'll mostly

660
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: have a catheter for the first twenty four hours so

661
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: you won't.

662
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 3: Have to get up and go to the toilet.

663
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: Slowly, the feeling will come back to your legs or

664
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 1: to your bottom half, and then usually that will remove

665
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 1: it the next day and then you can go to

666
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: the toilet and have your first shower. So I had

667
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 1: my first toilet visit, my first shower a day after

668
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: we gave birth, in the evening, and it was the

669
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: evening after so twenty four hours, and yeah, I could.

670
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 3: Stand up, I could walk. It was definitely.

671
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: Tender, and even though you have pain relief, the pain

672
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: is managed, but you're still kind of hesitant moving around.

673
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: I found it hard to sort of sit up from

674
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 1: a lying down position, so you roll to the side

675
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: and push yourself up. I use my arms a lot

676
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 1: while I was still in the hospital, and I would

677
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: say for the first week to two weeks, you're still hesitant,

678
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: it's tender, you're trying to avoid doing too much. And

679
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: my biggest tip in that time is that you'll heal

680
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 1: a lot quicker if you're not getting up and down

681
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: a lot unnecessarily, which is much easier said than done

682
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: with a tiny human that needs you. But the more

683
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: you can lean on a partner or support people or

684
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: loved ones to do as much of the up and down.

685
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 1: So like if you wanted to go and get a

686
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 1: jumper instead of getting up out of bed and walking

687
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,719
Speaker 1: over to get it, if you didn't need to get

688
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 1: up and change the baby or feed the baby, try

689
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: and get someone else to do that for you. The

690
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: support the medical support team will give you advice on

691
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: when you can start to walk around. It is important

692
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: to move quite quickly, a bit like walk around to

693
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: get the blood flowing. That helps with healing. But you

694
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 1: don't want to add tat it and be up and down,

695
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: up and down, up and down. So I relied a

696
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 1: lot on Nick. He was amazing. He did all the

697
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 1: nappy changes pretty much for the first couple of days,

698
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 1: and that gives you just a head start to get

699
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: some healing, to be lying flat as much as you

700
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: can while you're still in that really tender face. So

701
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: that would be my first piece of advice in that

702
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: first couple.

703
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 3: Of days or first week.

704
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 1: They also say, like try not to if you do

705
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: go home really early, try not to walk up and

706
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 1: downstairs too much if you are on the second floor,

707
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: Like try and have everything upstairs that you need, so

708
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 1: that you're minimizing the amount of time that you're fidgeting

709
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: around really and moving and then around the actual incision itself.

710
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: I think most doctors do this. I had a dressing

711
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 1: applied that there were dissolvable stitches, then a dressing applied

712
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: that's waterproof, so at least I didn't have to worry

713
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 1: about the wound itself getting infected or getting anything in it.

714
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 1: It was waterproof, I could shower with it. And I

715
00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: only got that taken off this morning, so soision care

716
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 1: was really easy because it was just kind of covered

717
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: up and I didn't have to worry about it, you know,

718
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: getting caught on anything, and it was completely sealed in

719
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: so and by the time I had it taken off,

720
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 1: it came off really gently, and it wasn't painful to

721
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 1: take the dressing off. So I think incision care is

722
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 1: kind of taken care of. It's just managing the healing underneath.

723
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: So yeah, one of the questions was immediately after, how

724
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 1: how were you up? It was twenty four hours. I

725
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 1: could walk around and I could walk kind of to

726
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: you know, there's a tea breakout area.

727
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:33,399
Speaker 3: I could walk to.

728
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: There and walk back and it would feel a little

729
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 1: bit sore, but I didn't expect to be walking so quickly.

730
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: So you do still look quite, you know.

731
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 3: Puffy at the start.

732
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: I still looked pregnant afterwards, and there's a lot of

733
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,320
Speaker 1: water attention and fluids have been pumped through you, so

734
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 1: that takes a little while. I've kind of gone back

735
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 1: and looked at photos, and what might be more helpful

736
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 1: to explain this is I'll do a as well with

737
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: those photos, so you can see how many days it

738
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: took for the fluid to leave the body and they're

739
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: swelling to all go down. Now it's seven weeks. I'm

740
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: the same size. It doesn't underclose, it's not the same,

741
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: but I can fit into the same size, and I

742
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: could from about five weeks, so four or five weeks,

743
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: and again that was a lot quicker than I was expecting.

744
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 1: I think that was also partly really lucky genetics. My

745
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,720
Speaker 1: body just kind of lost the fluid, and breastfeeding also

746
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: drains a lot out of you, so I'll show you

747
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: the time markers for that. But yeah, I was up

748
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 1: and about the next day and then my first actual

749
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: so by the time we got home.

750
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,280
Speaker 3: I could walk around. I could lift.

751
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,399
Speaker 1: Teddy pretty much straight away. They say, don't lift more

752
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: than your baby for the first little while, and I didn't.

753
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: I would say, just follow the instructions. You get to

754
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 1: the tea. Phisio will probably come and see you and

755
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: they'll help with giving you like a compression slip kind

756
00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 1: of thing, and they'll give you instructions on where to

757
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,919
Speaker 1: when to wear that. I followed those to the tea,

758
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:07,280
Speaker 1: and that helped bring the swelling down. Interestingly, water retention wise,

759
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 1: I was fine until.

760
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:09,439
Speaker 3: I got home.

761
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 1: So it was about day ten when suddenly, like my

762
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 1: meal could come in. I was like not hydrating as

763
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: much because I was just distracted, and suddenly I was

764
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: puffy everywhere, like my legs, my face. I didn't have

765
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: any in the third trimester or during the first few days,

766
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 1: but it hit me at home. That's when I started

767
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 1: wearing recovery shorts and socks. The ones that I wore

768
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 1: were from.

769
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 3: The Ry Group.

770
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: They had both were amazing, but I also had quite

771
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 1: a few other brands and I would swap between them.

772
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 1: Some were tighter, some were looser, and you'll know what

773
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: feels comfortable. Like I couldn't wear the really tight compression

774
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: ones until about two weeks in, but then you'll kind

775
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 1: of graduate, so I have a few options ready. Another

776
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: great brand, I think their Mum I had their compression

777
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 1: undies that had a pocket that has room for an

778
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: ice or a heat pack and you don't have hands

779
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: to hold those on.

780
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 3: Too, so that was really helpful at the start.

781
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 1: Then I used ever Form shorts as well that were amazing.

782
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 1: Bubblah Bump had some amazing shorts. Jules Robinson's Figure Co

783
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: has an amazing Shapewak collection that has some compression.

784
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 3: Shorts as well.

785
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: There's the official SRC recovery shorts. They're kind of like

786
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:29,400
Speaker 1: a Mum Grapevine Hero. You'll just try and find the

787
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 1: ones that work for you. I really like the Roi

788
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: Group ones because they have a pocket that really helps me.

789
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: But yes, I was able to do more than I

790
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 1: expected quickly. I think I stopped painkillers after about ten

791
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 1: days and that's when the puffiness started that kind of

792
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:46,399
Speaker 1: calmed down.

793
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 3: About a week later.

794
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: I went for my first walk, like around the block

795
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: on the thirty first of March. That was ten days

796
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: after I'd given birth, and that was fine, and then

797
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 1: I slowly, slowly increased the distances. We went for our

798
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 1: first longer walk on the fourth of April, and then

799
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 1: I think my abs had joined back together. I had

800
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 1: only about one centimeter of separation by about the seventh

801
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: of April. And I'll include.

802
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 3: Photos of all of that.

803
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 1: So, yeah, it's strange how I can't even remember when

804
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,320
Speaker 1: I stopped wearing their recovery shots, but I have stopped

805
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 1: wearing them now I don't need them. It will be

806
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 1: different for everyone, but I think, yeah, as much as

807
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: in the early days, you can minimize your movement around

808
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 1: to give yourself a head start, and then when you

809
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 1: can life flat, life flat, and if you can have

810
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,879
Speaker 1: your feet above your head to get the circulation going

811
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 1: if you're puffy, even prop them up on some pillows

812
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 1: or upper wall. That really helped me, and yeah, I

813
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: think just also be really gentle in yourself. Don't rush

814
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:57,240
Speaker 1: to like I haven't started exercise except gentle walks. Someone Also,

815
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 1: I gave me a heads up, which I found really helpful,

816
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: so I didn't worry so much about it. I had

817
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 1: like a really really good recovery for four weeks, and

818
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 1: then you might just have a setback where I was

819
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 1: bouncing too hard on the bouncer and suddenly by the

820
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: end of the day the incision had flared up and

821
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: got puffy again, And that was just because I'd overdone it,

822
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 1: and it felt like a step backwards, but it was nothing.

823
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:20,919
Speaker 3: To worry about.

824
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,280
Speaker 1: You'd just start to notice what helps and what doesn't,

825
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 1: and then modify your behavior as much as you can.

826
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 1: But then also be patient that every time you know

827
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: you're doing your mum thing, that's also completely going against

828
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 1: what your body needs for its recovery from.

829
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 3: The actual sea section.

830
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 1: So it's definitely going to be slower because you're fitting

831
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: in stuff that again normally you would be on bed rest.

832
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 1: So I'll include links to all those recovery items. I

833
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: did a lot of pilates in the lead up, so

834
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: I think that also helped with my care kind of

835
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: staying strong and then recovering quite quickly and then eating

836
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: really well and drinking enough water. If you can't get

837
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 1: enough sleep, you can still do it much of the

838
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: other stuff as you can, and yet really leaning on

839
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: your support people as much as you can, being patient

840
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: with yourself. But yes, I'm about to restart exercise this week,

841
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 1: so I will keep you guys posted on that. But

842
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 1: if there are any like really specific questions about items,

843
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 1: please let me know. But overall, so far, it's been

844
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 1: really positive and I'm learning really to be more compassionate

845
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 1: with myself, so it hasn't been a terrible process. And

846
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 1: then one of the questions was about the mental health

847
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 1: part of the C section, and I'm guessing that's kind

848
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: of what we covered about, like whether there was any

849
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: birth trauma anxiety it being not the pathway that I've

850
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 1: chosen originally, and I haven't really had any sort of

851
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 1: trauma associated with it. Again, I think that's part of

852
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: the preparation that you have and the team that you're

853
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: with and the approach that you take as well, Like

854
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,720
Speaker 1: so much of it, so much isn't within your control,

855
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 1: but you can kind of set an intention at the

856
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: start of how you're going to be, and if you

857
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: put a lot of pressure on yourself to recover really quickly,

858
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: or you expect certain things by certain weeks and it

859
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: doesn't happen, you'll be really disappointed. But if you don't

860
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: set an intention or have a week where you hope

861
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 1: to do X Y by this, then you won't be disappointed.

862
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 1: So keep a really open mind and just see how

863
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 1: your body feels weak to week. You'll definitely know. I

864
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: knew when I felt ready to go for a walk,

865
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 1: and I knew that I didn't feel ready a minute

866
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: before that. I knew the day I walked a bit

867
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,280
Speaker 1: too far for a bit too long, and I didn't

868
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 1: do that again, and I didn't try again until like

869
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: another week later. So really tune into your body if

870
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: you can. But yeah, particularly the incision care was a

871
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 1: lot easier than I expected, just without miracle dressing. So

872
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 1: that's been amazing.

873
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 3: Okay, we are on too feeding again.

874
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 1: This is like even more varied for each person and

875
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 1: possibly one of the most controversial areas. I don't know

876
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,400
Speaker 1: why it isn't it shouldn't be. I think it's just

877
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: so straightforward in it every other area of life. We

878
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: all just do different things. We have different careers, we

879
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,320
Speaker 1: have different passions, we have different hobbies. Why is feeding

880
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: such a sensitive area and.

881
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 3: Not everyone deals with it particularly well?

882
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: So I have to add extra extra disclaimers that this

883
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: is just our journey and there is absolutely no judgment

884
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 1: on any pathway. This is just what we did and

885
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: what's been working for us so far. There's so much

886
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 1: about breast is best, and like there's a lot of

887
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 1: stigma around formula and then women who choose not to

888
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 1: breastfeed or can't breastfeed. Like, there's just so many different

889
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: pathways in within feeding that it's very loaded. So I'll

890
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 1: start off by saying I am breastfeeding Teddy exclusively. I'm

891
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: very lucky to have been able to. But I also

892
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 1: have the perspective of having obviously been adopted and I

893
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: came here to my mum when I was five months old,

894
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 1: so I was obviously not breastfed, and I have been

895
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: exclusively formula fed, so I kind of have both. I'm

896
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 1: not worded to one or the other, and maybe see

897
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 1: my sort of healthier relationship going into whether or not

898
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,879
Speaker 1: we could feed was because I had an open mind

899
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: to it because no one had sort of, you know,

900
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 1: been around me saying pushing one agenda or the other,

901
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: because I knew that I'd been formula fed. So above all,

902
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: again the same way vaginal versus cesarean the ultimate outcome

903
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: is healthy, safe baby. My view with feeding is kind

904
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: of at the end of the day, what gets your

905
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: baby fed and healthy. So whatever that looks like for you,

906
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 1: our bodies are all so different, and I can.

907
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:38,439
Speaker 3: One hundred percent guarantee you I am the last.

908
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: Person I thought would be a good candidate for feeding.

909
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 1: You know, I've been the president of the Eatybidy Tit

910
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 1: Committee until pregnancy. My boobs have never done the feminine

911
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 1: thing they are supposed to do. They've never performed for

912
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,839
Speaker 1: me before, so I did not expect that they would.

913
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 1: But it's got nothing to do with size. It's really

914
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: got nothing to do with trying hard either, Like if

915
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: you can't produce enough milk, it's got nothing to do

916
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 1: with anything. It's not whether you try hard or you don't.

917
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: It's just I don't know genetics, or it's just yea

918
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: luck of the draw. So we're fortunate that we have

919
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,479
Speaker 1: been able to breastfeed in a pretty straightforward way. What

920
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: happened with us was I had started expressing colostrum in advance.

921
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 1: They recommend that if you can, you wait until after

922
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: thirty six weeks, you wait until you get your obstration

923
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 1: gives you permission to start when they see whether or

924
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 1: not that's working for you. I did as much as

925
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 1: I could so that there would be some because it

926
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: takes a little while after you give birth anyway, for

927
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: your milk to sort of come in, like there's a

928
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: bit of a lag. So in that time they if

929
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 1: you've had if you've expressed colostrum, you can give that

930
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 1: to your baby because they don't need very much in

931
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 1: the first couple of days. You can just give them

932
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 1: those little bits until your milk comes in and then swap.

933
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 1: Otherwise you give them formula, so obviously they need to

934
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: eat something, and then once your milk comes in you

935
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: would swap. Or if your milk doesn't come in, then

936
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,760
Speaker 1: some babies just continue to be formula fed. Some people

937
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 1: mixed feed. There are so many different options, but for us,

938
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 1: I had express quite a lot of colostrum. Sometimes with

939
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,239
Speaker 1: the cesarean, because your body doesn't go through natural labor,

940
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 1: it takes a little bit longer for your milk to

941
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 1: come in. So we started giving him the colostrum, and

942
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 1: we ran out by day three and my milk still

943
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 1: hadn't come in. So he was feeding off me and

944
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 1: still getting some colostrum like the previously expressed and some

945
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,439
Speaker 1: from me from feeding, but there still wasn't milk coming

946
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: in like properly, so he had lost. Babies lose a

947
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 1: lot of weight when they're first born, and then they

948
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,879
Speaker 1: have to restore the weight, and he had lost weight

949
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 1: and then was continuing sort of. He hadn't lost too much,

950
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,240
Speaker 1: but if he had kept continuing, it would have been dangerous.

951
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 1: So we gave him formula.

952
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 3: For three feeds.

953
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 1: I think that was three hours apart, so over nine ish,

954
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 1: maybe twelve hours, I can't really remember, but we gave

955
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 1: him formula because he wasn't getting enough. And what happens

956
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: is their stomachs darts as like a pea size, and

957
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 1: then the next day it grows.

958
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,319
Speaker 3: To like a strawberry or whatever it is.

959
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 1: So they need hardly anything, but they rapidly need more

960
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 1: and more, and to bring on the milk you also

961
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 1: do a lot of different things to help that happen.

962
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 1: So there's partly letting the baby feed. But then I

963
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 1: also started to use a breast pump in the hospital,

964
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 1: they recommended that to start trying to get more. That

965
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 1: encourages your milk to come in. And then I went

966
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: from on about day three and a half from nothing

967
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: coming and colostrum is golden and it comes out in droplets.

968
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,720
Speaker 1: Then slowly, slowly, little bit started to turn more white

969
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: and then suddenly it just all came in and like

970
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: suddenly I had milk. And I mean like very rapidly. No,

971
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say no.

972
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 3: One told me.

973
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,920
Speaker 1: People did tell me, but I didn't appreciate. They were

974
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 1: always like, you just work to your milk comes in.

975
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 1: You're going to have the biggest boobs ever. When I

976
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 1: was pregnant, I had much bigger boobs than I've ever

977
00:46:58,320 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: had before, and that was really fun. So I thought

978
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 1: it was going to be the same. I was just like, okay, cool,

979
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 1: like one more cup size. They came in. I'm like

980
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: a triple A cup normally like a crop top.

981
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 3: They were a D cup.

982
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: I literally went to sleep with no milk. I woke

983
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 1: up de cup and like so many people have this

984
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 1: photo on my phone on their phone because I sent

985
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 1: it to.

986
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 3: All my friends.

987
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 1: They look fake, they are bolt on, so they just

988
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 1: it was like wild and the novelty was so much fun,

989
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: but at the same time it was kind of painful,

990
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 1: like they were just so rock hard and in gorge.

991
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: And there started the juggle, this delicate balance of getting

992
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:37,479
Speaker 1: just enough but not too much, and like you kind

993
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 1: of have to fiddle with it a little bit to

994
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,880
Speaker 1: make sure that your baby's getting the right amount, but

995
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 1: at the same time, the right amount and what they

996
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 1: need each day changes as their stomach gets bigger. So

997
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 1: it's totally wild process. That's a roller coaster, and that's

998
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 1: why they say not to start, you know, messing with

999
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: too many other things and techniques of expressing in bottles

1000
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: in that until eight weeks. I think it takes eight

1001
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 1: weeks to get into a routine. So we tried to

1002
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 1: do that. We tried to just I stopped I was

1003
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 1: expressing all the time. Once it came in, we didn't

1004
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 1: need to be so aggressive, and we just started feeding

1005
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 1: on demand. So we moved to just when he would

1006
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 1: cry and be ready for food, I would feed him

1007
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 1: and then I would stop. And they were engaged and

1008
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: had too much or too little for probably two weeks.

1009
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 1: And this I should have done this bit at the

1010
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 1: start because it's probably the thing I want to emphasize

1011
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 1: the most, which I don't know if I did in

1012
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:39,880
Speaker 1: the birth story episode, But nobody prepared me for the

1013
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,720
Speaker 1: fact that breastfeeding or getting used to it at the start,

1014
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: was more painful than childbirth because the pain was more intense,

1015
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 1: like close to your heart. It kind of feels so

1016
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: intimate because it's like right in your chest, but it's constant,

1017
00:48:55,239 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 1: like constant, and the childbirth pain, like the incision kind

1018
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,840
Speaker 1: of like reduces in acute pain and starts to throb

1019
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 1: more dully, but having cracked bleeding nipples that you then

1020
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,359
Speaker 1: have to put a child back on to feed, and

1021
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,800
Speaker 1: when it was cluster feeding, which is when they're really

1022
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 1: having a gross burd and instead of every few hours,

1023
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: it becomes like every forty five minutes. I've kin'd of

1024
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 1: even explained the pain, like I've already forgotten how bad

1025
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 1: it was, But I understand why so many women give

1026
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 1: up really early, because it's just so incredibly painful. And

1027
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 1: I don't mean to scare anyone, but I think if

1028
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: I knew that, I wouldn't have come so close to

1029
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: just abandoning it so many times because I just was like,

1030
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,719
Speaker 1: this is too painful. And it's because your nipples have

1031
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 1: never had such sensitive skin and they've never been abused

1032
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 1: so much. So I cried more in that first two

1033
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: weeks about the nipple pain than I did about anything else. Plus,

1034
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 1: your boobs are engorged, they're like throbbing, they hurt, it's

1035
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 1: just your body adjusting, and really, like I don't know

1036
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 1: how else to say it other than it's just a

1037
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 1: process you need to go through where the pain is extreme.

1038
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 3: It is so character building.

1039
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:12,280
Speaker 1: It's distracted me all day every day, even in between,

1040
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: like you're just trying to manage the fact that it hurts,

1041
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 1: and you don't want the nipples to touch fabric, and

1042
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: there's so many things that you try and like they have,

1043
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,719
Speaker 1: you know, kind of reduced the pain, but really you've

1044
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,440
Speaker 1: just got to let them toughen up. And unfortunately, rather

1045
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 1: than forty eight hours or thirty six hours, it's like,

1046
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 1: you know, it's going to take a couple of weeks.

1047
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 1: And it was so hard for me to get my

1048
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 1: head around this. Some hilarious photos and we boiling my

1049
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: eyes out, but then suddenly one day you just turn

1050
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:41,200
Speaker 1: a corner and now I can feed without feeling anything. Really,

1051
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: so you can get there. And I think the really

1052
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 1: really fine line is between hanging in there knowing that

1053
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 1: they will toughen up eventually, but then also not hanging

1054
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,319
Speaker 1: on too long when it's just a case of you

1055
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 1: actually your milk is actually not coming in. And I

1056
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: think some women are so attached to they have to

1057
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:03,279
Speaker 1: breastfeed because breast is best, and they really kill themselves

1058
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 1: and it affects their ability to enjoy that newborn bubble

1059
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 1: at the beginning because they go on longer than they

1060
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:13,320
Speaker 1: need to because you know, you know that they're willing

1061
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 1: to put up with pain when it's not improving. And

1062
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 1: that's a really fine line, and I don't know where

1063
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 1: the line is. I think it's different for everyone. And

1064
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: the best advice I have is to consult a lactation

1065
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 1: or breastfeeding consultant because they know much better what's going

1066
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 1: on and can pick whether it's a normal pain that

1067
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 1: you need to get through or whether it's a pain

1068
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 1: that's saying this is not going to be productive for

1069
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 1: you or your baby. And we had we did a

1070
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 1: session before we started, and then during the first five

1071
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 1: to six days at the hospital, we continually had people

1072
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 1: checking the right latch and the right You know, you

1073
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: can't tell the volume of baby's getting from your boob,

1074
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 1: so you don't know if they're getting enough. You just

1075
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 1: have to check their nappies and see that they're sleeping

1076
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 1: and they're putting on weight. And it's a lot of guessing.

1077
00:51:56,719 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 1: But I would say by two weeks. The things that

1078
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 1: really helped in that two weeks were silverrettes. They're these

1079
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 1: little silver cups that just go over your nipples and

1080
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 1: there's something about pure silver that helps soothe them. They're

1081
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: like one of the best selling items at the MEMO

1082
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 1: And when I was Phoebe the founder told me that,

1083
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 1: and I was like, how are these little silver things? Like, honestly,

1084
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 1: I don't get it. There's nothing medicated. They are life saving.

1085
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: Like I kept wearing them for maybe six weeks just

1086
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:24,279
Speaker 1: for the comfort of them.

1087
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 3: They helped enormously.

1088
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 1: Also, lanoline, that's like the oldest natural remedy in the book,

1089
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:37,240
Speaker 1: the cream that helps so much. There's these like compress

1090
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 1: what are they like wipes that you can put on

1091
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: that you can apply there's different BOMs. People say it's

1092
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 1: really good to air them out when you can, like

1093
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 1: they get cracked and sometimes they even bleed, and for

1094
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 1: most women you just have to keep going and pushing

1095
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:57,439
Speaker 1: through and that's quite normal. But yeah, there's a few

1096
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:59,840
Speaker 1: things that helped along the way, and I would definitely

1097
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 1: commend silver It's they were so so helpful. I turned

1098
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 1: a corner at about two weeks and then it started

1099
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,000
Speaker 1: to not help not hurt so badly. Some people use

1100
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 1: nipple guards. They're like a silicon thing that you can

1101
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 1: put over the nipple that is a shield between you

1102
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 1: and the intensity of the breastfeeding. For me, they actually

1103
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 1: made it worse because Teddy would just suck harder and

1104
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 1: the friction made it worse. But for some people they

1105
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,799
Speaker 1: use those until their skin toughens up a bit and

1106
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,839
Speaker 1: then transition out of them. I'll include links to all

1107
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:31,000
Speaker 1: of those products. But for me, two weeks turned a

1108
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:34,880
Speaker 1: corner started to hurt a lot less. The actual feeding

1109
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 1: was fine, he was getting the right volume, but it

1110
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,919
Speaker 1: was just painful for me in a skin nipple skin

1111
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 1: acute way and in a breasting gorge throbbing way. And

1112
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 1: then it started to adjust and my body started to

1113
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 1: realize how much it did need to produce and kind

1114
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 1: of cool its jets on the pain and engagement. Now

1115
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 1: we're at a stage where I did try not to

1116
00:53:57,480 --> 00:54:01,280
Speaker 1: interfere with anything, because the smallest tweaks like your baby,

1117
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 1: will start feeding, their stomach will grow and they'll start

1118
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: feeding a lot more. And then suddenly you go back

1119
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 1: into a cycle of being engaged and too much is

1120
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:12,200
Speaker 1: producing and like, get it's really delicate the balance, and

1121
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: you'll get it. Your body will get confused, and then

1122
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 1: it'll even out again, and then it'll happen again. And

1123
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:19,760
Speaker 1: I tried not to interfere with that until about six weeks,

1124
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:24,320
Speaker 1: and then we got to the point where this is

1125
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 1: where that mix comes in. So some people choose to

1126
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:31,439
Speaker 1: mix feed where they do part formula part breast milk,

1127
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 1: and adjusting to that, again, you're reducing the amount of

1128
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:35,439
Speaker 1: breast milk you're producing, so your body takes a little

1129
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:35,799
Speaker 1: while to.

1130
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:36,279
Speaker 3: Adjust to that.

1131
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,879
Speaker 1: We aren't mixed feeding, but the bottles that you see.

1132
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 1: People have been asking about bottles. So the reason I

1133
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 1: could go out last night. The only way you can

1134
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,360
Speaker 1: do that is if the person who's looking after the

1135
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 1: child can feed them, or if the baby is near

1136
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 1: you so that you can feed off them directly. If

1137
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,759
Speaker 1: you're going to leave the baby with your partner or

1138
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 1: someone else, then you need there needs to be milk

1139
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,359
Speaker 1: in a bottle, so that means you express. They call

1140
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 1: it EBM expressed breast milk, and that's when you need

1141
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:07,280
Speaker 1: a pump or you can hand express, but a pump

1142
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: is usually the easiest way. And again I think people

1143
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 1: say wait until you start to do it, so you

1144
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 1: can establish what your normal pattern is before you start,

1145
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: because if you pump too often, then your body overproduces

1146
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,320
Speaker 1: and then you can get mastiitis, which is the condition

1147
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: where your milk I think your ducks get blocked and

1148
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 1: it's incredibly painful. You get like fever like symptoms, and

1149
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 1: that's what you're trying to avoid. So I have we

1150
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 1: started pumping. What we've started doing is at the highest

1151
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 1: your hormone, your milk producing hormone is called prolactin. That's

1152
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:44,240
Speaker 1: highest between two to four am. So I started after

1153
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 1: one of the feeds between two and four am, like

1154
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: off the back of a feed, so that my body

1155
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:50,920
Speaker 1: just thinks it's part of that feed rather than a

1156
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 1: whole nother one. I would finish feeding Teddy and then

1157
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 1: get hooked up to the Spectra is the machine that

1158
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 1: we've got a lot of them, and express for about

1159
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 1: ten minutes and you're just capturing the milk in bottles

1160
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,920
Speaker 1: and then i'd store it in milk storage bags and

1161
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 1: then the next night we'd put that in a bottle,

1162
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 1: and then Nick will give him a bottle at night.

1163
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 1: It's for the dream feed, which is the last feed

1164
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 1: before you go to sleep. So I will do the

1165
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:23,839
Speaker 1: last feed at sort of nine to ten pm, then

1166
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 1: I go to sleep, and Nick does the next feed

1167
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 1: at about midnight, and then Teddy doesn't need to feed

1168
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: again until like two or three, so I get from

1169
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:36,359
Speaker 1: nine till two or three of actual sleep.

1170
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:37,359
Speaker 3: Without having to be woken up.

1171
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,279
Speaker 1: And then I swap and like we swap and then

1172
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 1: I take him for the rest of the night. So

1173
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,839
Speaker 1: that allows you to sort of share some of the

1174
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 1: load of the sleep deprivation. And that's why we started

1175
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 1: and it's worked incredibly well. And then this for actually

1176
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 1: leaving the house. This time we had enough milk from

1177
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 1: me expressing, and then we froze any of the extra

1178
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,160
Speaker 1: so that he could give Teddy two bottles while I

1179
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:02,600
Speaker 1: was out and I wouldn't need to be sort of

1180
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 1: tethered to the house. And that's been amazing to introduce

1181
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 1: bottles and expressing for that. But by about the I

1182
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 1: was out for four and a half hours. By the

1183
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 1: three hour mark, my boobs were telling me it was

1184
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 1: time to go home. They were so sore and so engaged,

1185
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 1: and I realized it is really a delicate balance. So

1186
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 1: that has been a really amazing addition for us. Yeah,

1187
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 1: he really didn't like it. I know you didn't like it, buddy.

1188
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:32,440
Speaker 1: I missed you too. I missed you so much anyway,

1189
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 1: So that's been feeding for us. Another thing I would

1190
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 1: add is at the beginning, when you're getting used to

1191
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 1: the balance. Sometimes when you're like producing a lot of milk,

1192
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,760
Speaker 1: and even when you're normal, sometimes there's just let down,

1193
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 1: which is when your breast will just start leaking milk.

1194
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 1: And that's not related to a feeding time, just in

1195
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 1: the middle of any time, they will just start leaking,

1196
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:57,600
Speaker 1: and particularly when your body's first getting used to it.

1197
00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 1: I was leaking so much. I did not expect to

1198
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: have too much milk, but I was leaking so much

1199
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 1: all the time that I would go through multiple bras

1200
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 1: a day. There are some amazing.

1201
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 3: Sort of like what do they call like cups.

1202
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: That you can put in your bra. Bear Mum makes some.

1203
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:20,320
Speaker 1: Quite a few different brands make inserts that you put

1204
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 1: into your bra. A lot of the bras are also leakproof.

1205
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 1: Then there's disposable ones as well that you can stick

1206
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 1: into the inside of your bra that are kind of

1207
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:33,439
Speaker 1: made of similar stuff to nappies. I would leak through

1208
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,920
Speaker 1: all of them and my bras would be drenched and

1209
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 1: I'd literally wake up. I'd have like three bras of

1210
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:41,080
Speaker 1: four bras overnight. There was just so much milk. I

1211
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 1: tried everything, and I just I just had to deal

1212
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 1: with until they settled down. That was how it was

1213
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 1: going to be. And that's why one of the reasons

1214
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: I couldn't leave the house, it's because I couldn't wear

1215
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: normal clothes in that time. There's these amazing silicon milk

1216
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:59,360
Speaker 1: collectors that aren't pumps because I didn't want to use

1217
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 1: a pump. Would you recreate a feed and start messing

1218
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: with the system, but would just catch the letdown. So

1219
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 1: they're like these silicon little They're called Ladybugs from a

1220
00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 1: brand called hucker struck at the memo, and you would

1221
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 1: put them inside your bra. It's said that you can't

1222
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,800
Speaker 1: see from the outside. You can definitely see they're quite

1223
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 1: round and they look like you've put socks down your bra,

1224
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 1: but they kind of like suction onto you and they

1225
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:26,640
Speaker 1: just catch the milk that's automatically coming out, and then

1226
00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 1: you can transfer that and keep it for later. That

1227
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 1: was amazing so that I wasn't wasting all this leaking milk.

1228
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 1: So I'd have those in for most of the day

1229
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 1: in between feeds. I'll include the link to them because

1230
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 1: they were so so useful. And then when it comes

1231
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 1: to bottles, Teddy has recently become really gassy as his

1232
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 1: little digested, like their digestive system is brand new and

1233
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 1: they're figuring it out, and gas causes a lot of

1234
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,280
Speaker 1: pain and they get collicking and they.

1235
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 3: Cry a lot.

1236
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 1: So for bottles as well, there's like anti colic bottles

1237
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,760
Speaker 1: that control a lot of the air that they take

1238
00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 1: in and they're sucking, so that's also something to look at.

1239
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:07,800
Speaker 1: The speed that the nipple of the bottle releases milk out.

1240
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's too easy for them and they start to

1241
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:12,200
Speaker 1: not want your nipple because.

1242
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 3: They have to work harder.

1243
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:16,880
Speaker 1: So that's sort of another consideration. There's so much you're

1244
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:20,240
Speaker 1: just learning constantly every day and tweaking and figuring out

1245
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 1: new things. But at the moment, that system's working well,

1246
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 1: really well for us. And I'll include a link to

1247
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 1: the expressing machine and the milk collectors, the milk bags,

1248
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 1: and then I haven't tried it yet, but there's also

1249
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:37,360
Speaker 1: an amazing new business that freeze dries your frozen breast

1250
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: milk so that it becomes a powder, so that it's

1251
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 1: kind of like formula as convenient as formula in that

1252
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 1: you don't need a fridge to carry it around. We're

1253
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 1: looking at also doing that so that then if you travel,

1254
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 1: you can also take it with you. I think that's

1255
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 1: called nourishly. I'm not sure, but I'll obviously keep you

1256
01:00:56,120 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 1: guys posted on that. And I think for with feeding,

1257
01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 1: that pretty much covers it. What else is there anything

1258
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,440
Speaker 1: else that we've been using? There is so much milk

1259
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:12,919
Speaker 1: and breast paraphernalia around our house it's absolutely wild. But yeah,

1260
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 1: I think I've covered that topic off, but again, just

1261
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 1: d meet any questions. Okay, last bit the home stretch.

1262
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 1: These questions are all about after we got home, and yeah, gosh,

1263
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: I can't believe it's been seven weeks so far. So

1264
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: the first question is did you feel overwhelmed when you

1265
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 1: got home? What was your biggest challenge in the first

1266
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:36,439
Speaker 1: few days. Again, I think because we had that six

1267
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:39,440
Speaker 1: days in the hospital, I didn't feel nearly as scared

1268
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 1: and just out of our depths as I thought we would.

1269
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:46,080
Speaker 1: You're still nervous that you've got this tiny little human

1270
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,760
Speaker 1: you've never had before and you've got to keep them alive, and.

1271
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 3: It's all new.

1272
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 1: But we had had a lot of freakouts in front

1273
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 1: of nurses and doctors who could reassure us, which means

1274
01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:57,960
Speaker 1: when they happened this second time, it was a lot

1275
01:01:58,040 --> 01:01:58,960
Speaker 1: easier to manage.

1276
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 3: So there was.

1277
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 1: Overwhelmed, but there was also just love and excitement and

1278
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 1: exhaustion as well. The biggest challenge in that first few days,

1279
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 1: honestly for me, was the nipple pain. Like I just

1280
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 1: still can't believe that that was the standout takeaway, But

1281
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 1: no one talks about it. I think not because anyone's

1282
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 1: trying to hide it, but they forget It's only been

1283
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:23,640
Speaker 1: seven weeks and I've already forgotten how bad it was.

1284
01:02:23,720 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 1: I only remember it because of my diaries. There's so

1285
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 1: much emphasis on labor and childbirth and your vaginal or

1286
01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 1: your cesarean recovery, but not on the nipple pain. And

1287
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:38,160
Speaker 1: I honestly I cried so much just because of that.

1288
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 1: So that was probably the biggest challenge. And then on

1289
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: around day three, a lot of people have a big

1290
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:48,440
Speaker 1: hormone dump, which is there's some crazy stat of the

1291
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:51,560
Speaker 1: hormone dump is like the biggest swing in hormones that's

1292
01:02:51,600 --> 01:02:54,919
Speaker 1: like a hundred times a period or something like that.

1293
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 1: A lot of people have that on day three or four.

1294
01:02:57,680 --> 01:02:59,840
Speaker 1: I had it around date eight on nine when we

1295
01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: were at home, and you're just so heightened, and like,

1296
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:07,200
Speaker 1: logically my brain knew I wasn't upset, but you just

1297
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: couldn't control the emotion of happiness or sadness. So like

1298
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:15,000
Speaker 1: I saw a golden retriever puppy, like literally just saw one.

1299
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 1: Nothing even happened, and I started crying. But that wasn't

1300
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:20,000
Speaker 1: so much challenging because I was ready for it.

1301
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 3: It was more for Nick that he was just like,

1302
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:22,720
Speaker 3: what is happening?

1303
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:26,040
Speaker 1: So yeah, the nipple Paine was the biggest challenge in

1304
01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:29,800
Speaker 1: that first first few days. The first few weeks postpartum

1305
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 1: were very blurry. I genuinely, I think one of the

1306
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 1: first things I did when I started to come out

1307
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 1: of that haze. Everyone calls it a haze, and it

1308
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:43,080
Speaker 1: truly is a haze. I think the first thing I

1309
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 1: did is apologize to every parent I knew for having

1310
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 1: thought I knew what they were going through, but you

1311
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:52,640
Speaker 1: just can't understand.

1312
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 3: It until you go through it yourself.

1313
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:57,120
Speaker 1: It is a haze like nothing else, even for someone

1314
01:03:57,160 --> 01:04:00,640
Speaker 1: who is not the first in our group to have children,

1315
01:04:00,680 --> 01:04:03,280
Speaker 1: and people I've had amazing role models around me who

1316
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 1: are close enough to have been very realistic about their experience.

1317
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,840
Speaker 1: I still I felt very familiar with the concept of postpartum,

1318
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 1: and I still just had no idea how intense it

1319
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:18,240
Speaker 1: truly is. It's not bad necessarily, it's just new. You're

1320
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:21,160
Speaker 1: so tired, and the hormones do help you adjust to

1321
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:24,479
Speaker 1: the sleep deprivation, but at the beginning, it's just so hard.

1322
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 1: Your body is going through so much. It's recovering you

1323
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 1: just like it's relentless is the word that comes to

1324
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 1: mind that you've never been on someone else's schedule, trying

1325
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 1: to keep them alive before and it's really blurry just

1326
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,240
Speaker 1: trying to do that, Like it's hard to go to

1327
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 1: the toilet, it's hard to feed yourself, it's hard to

1328
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 1: get everything you know, it's hard to do life just

1329
01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:47,240
Speaker 1: trying to hold a baby, even logistically just holding them,

1330
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 1: making sure someone's holding them and changing them and on

1331
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 1: the feeding schedule.

1332
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:52,440
Speaker 3: So it's very hazy.

1333
01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:56,040
Speaker 1: I don't remember much of it. Definitely didn't feel ready

1334
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:59,360
Speaker 1: for visitors. I felt so bad that I had thought

1335
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:01,880
Speaker 1: before that the best way as to have a love

1336
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 1: language is to visit people in the hospital. I was like, what,

1337
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:08,600
Speaker 1: that's the worst thing. Give them space until they feel ready.

1338
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 1: It's just very blurry, like you hardly register what you're doing.

1339
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:16,680
Speaker 1: You're just in survival mode, but kind of a beautiful

1340
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:19,920
Speaker 1: survival mode that your sole focus is this tiny human

1341
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,320
Speaker 1: getting to know them and getting to know your new self.

1342
01:05:22,480 --> 01:05:25,400
Speaker 1: And the next question was what are your top three

1343
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:27,800
Speaker 1: tips for your parents in the first few weeks. I

1344
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:31,280
Speaker 1: would say, just not have any expectations of yourself, like

1345
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 1: if you try and even think about the word routine

1346
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 1: or think about trying to return to who you were before,

1347
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:40,240
Speaker 1: like I mentioned before, those kind of expectations will just

1348
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:43,280
Speaker 1: make you disappointed rather than leaning into the fact that

1349
01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 1: this is how chaotic it's supposed to be, and I'm

1350
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:49,320
Speaker 1: just going to lean in with it, like whatever happens,

1351
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:53,160
Speaker 1: I'm just going to go with this tiny human and

1352
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 1: I think seeing everything from his perspective as well. Like

1353
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,240
Speaker 1: when a baby is crying over and over and over again,

1354
01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:03,200
Speaker 1: it's a lot easier to deal with when you know

1355
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 1: that they aren't doing it to annoy you, like they

1356
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 1: don't want to be crying either. It's they're trying to

1357
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:12,560
Speaker 1: tell you something. They're brand new. Everything is new for them.

1358
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 1: They've never left the hospital building, they've never been you know,

1359
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 1: they've just come out of the womb. Like everything is

1360
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,439
Speaker 1: new and foreign. So there's lots of crying, there's lots

1361
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:24,800
Speaker 1: of adjusting, and you know, I'm still in the throes

1362
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 1: of the fourth trimester. Apparently from twelve weeks onwards, a

1363
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 1: lot of things really settle down and it becomes a

1364
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:33,240
Speaker 1: lot easier. But now when he's really gassy and just

1365
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,760
Speaker 1: crying incessantly, it's easy for me to think but that's

1366
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 1: because his digestion is brand new. He's never done this before,

1367
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:41,400
Speaker 1: and he's just as uncomfortable as I am. So just

1368
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:45,520
Speaker 1: my role is to help make him as comfortable as

1369
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 1: I can and help him get just be here for

1370
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 1: him to get through this. Like he is adjusting to

1371
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,480
Speaker 1: being a human and he's doing such hard work. So yes,

1372
01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:55,680
Speaker 1: I'm doing hard work, but it's in support of him

1373
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:59,360
Speaker 1: learning how to exist. So I think you're that kind

1374
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 1: of mindset that you bring to everything really helps. And

1375
01:07:04,080 --> 01:07:07,640
Speaker 1: the other thing is the other tip would be don't

1376
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us are really stoic and

1377
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,200
Speaker 1: you've never For many of us, you've never accepted help

1378
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 1: before or needed to accept help because it's all been

1379
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:19,640
Speaker 1: just for yourself. It is so consuming that it's the

1380
01:07:19,680 --> 01:07:22,800
Speaker 1: first time I've just been like, sure, just drop some

1381
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:25,600
Speaker 1: food around, like I would. You normally feel so guilty

1382
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:28,760
Speaker 1: about making someone else cook for me, but I'm like

1383
01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:31,320
Speaker 1: anything I can get if someone is willing to give

1384
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:33,720
Speaker 1: me some home cooked food, because I'm not getting it otherwise.

1385
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:35,680
Speaker 3: Just be willing to.

1386
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:37,960
Speaker 1: Accept some help because it's a joy to do it

1387
01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:41,440
Speaker 1: for other people. So if they're willing to offer, Like really,

1388
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:45,200
Speaker 1: there's a beautiful parent community and family community who know

1389
01:07:45,320 --> 01:07:46,920
Speaker 1: how hard it was, and if they're willing to reach

1390
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:48,840
Speaker 1: out and help you and pay it forward a little bit,

1391
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:53,760
Speaker 1: then don't feel bad accepting help or leaning on others

1392
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:55,919
Speaker 1: because really it is a season where you really need

1393
01:07:55,920 --> 01:07:59,120
Speaker 1: that and that can help as much as possible, and

1394
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:01,959
Speaker 1: be kind to you, especially if it's your first time,

1395
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:06,000
Speaker 1: like no one knows what they're doing. Don't worry if

1396
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:07,480
Speaker 1: you're so anxiety riddled.

1397
01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 3: It's normal. It's normal to.

1398
01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:12,280
Speaker 1: Freak out every second, Like I checked Teddy so much

1399
01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:14,680
Speaker 1: because I'm like, is he still breathing? And that's so normal.

1400
01:08:15,760 --> 01:08:18,599
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think they'd be my top tips. Most

1401
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 1: difficult part of recovery generally was the next question. Again,

1402
01:08:22,360 --> 01:08:24,760
Speaker 1: it's weird, I would say getting used to breastfeeding. I

1403
01:08:24,880 --> 01:08:26,840
Speaker 1: just still can't believe what a hurdle that was. And

1404
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:29,439
Speaker 1: I think as it lasted so long and there there

1405
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:31,280
Speaker 1: was about seven days where it didn't feel like it

1406
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:33,160
Speaker 1: was getting better each day, so you don't even feel

1407
01:08:33,160 --> 01:08:35,280
Speaker 1: like you're making progress, and that was really hard for

1408
01:08:35,320 --> 01:08:37,519
Speaker 1: someone who's a type and needs to feel like they're

1409
01:08:37,560 --> 01:08:42,200
Speaker 1: improving bit by bit. That honestly has been the hardest part.

1410
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,400
Speaker 1: A very specific question, was it worth having a snoop

1411
01:08:46,479 --> 01:08:50,920
Speaker 1: and a cocuona baby definitely, so they play very different roles.

1412
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:54,559
Speaker 1: The snow is the bacinet that is rather than just

1413
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:57,240
Speaker 1: normal basinet that you put a baby in to sleep

1414
01:08:57,720 --> 01:09:00,960
Speaker 1: usually at night. Well actually that's like twenty hours a

1415
01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:02,800
Speaker 1: day at the start, so most of the time, the

1416
01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:05,519
Speaker 1: snow is the one that kind of self soothes them.

1417
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:10,200
Speaker 1: It rocks the baby by itself, and everyone has different

1418
01:09:10,240 --> 01:09:13,120
Speaker 1: opinions on them. Some people it's literally a godsend. It

1419
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:16,839
Speaker 1: helps their baby sleep, you know, x percent more than before.

1420
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:19,640
Speaker 1: Some babies hate it and they don't even use the

1421
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:23,920
Speaker 1: swinging function. It's pretty divisive. We have one and we've

1422
01:09:24,040 --> 01:09:27,640
Speaker 1: loved it. It's amazing. There's like a baseline rocking and

1423
01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:29,799
Speaker 1: that helps him fall asleep, and then if he cries,

1424
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:32,880
Speaker 1: it will like increase. And there's been a lot of

1425
01:09:32,920 --> 01:09:35,320
Speaker 1: occasions where we would have had to go in ourselves,

1426
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:37,479
Speaker 1: but the snow does the first bit and then sometimes

1427
01:09:37,479 --> 01:09:41,400
Speaker 1: there's times where it's not enough. We found it really wonderful.

1428
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:44,599
Speaker 1: The cocuna baby is like a lounger, which is just

1429
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:48,120
Speaker 1: a kind of big pillow looking thing that has back

1430
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:51,000
Speaker 1: support and then a strap to strap them in. But

1431
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:54,719
Speaker 1: it's portable, so that's more for during the day when

1432
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:58,120
Speaker 1: you know I'm downstairs doing the washing or something or

1433
01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:02,400
Speaker 1: cooking and you can't bring this new with you, but

1434
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:04,240
Speaker 1: you want the baby to be able to sleep and

1435
01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 1: be near you so you can watch them, and it's

1436
01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:07,960
Speaker 1: portable so you can take it around the house. So

1437
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:10,639
Speaker 1: they've said very different functions and we've loved having both,

1438
01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:15,760
Speaker 1: so definitely worth both. They've had different roles, and I

1439
01:10:15,840 --> 01:10:18,200
Speaker 1: will eventually get around to doing a full list of

1440
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:19,600
Speaker 1: all the things that have really helped. I've kind of

1441
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:22,000
Speaker 1: covered some of them, but there's a full list of

1442
01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:24,599
Speaker 1: other items, like the carrier we've used that we found amazing,

1443
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:29,000
Speaker 1: the rocker before having the baby, and even each week

1444
01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:31,920
Speaker 1: I discover why a new item that we have that

1445
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:34,759
Speaker 1: I haven't touched yet is so important and life changing.

1446
01:10:34,760 --> 01:10:37,559
Speaker 1: You kind of grow into each one. There's so many

1447
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:39,960
Speaker 1: things that have helped us enormously. So I'll make a

1448
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:42,360
Speaker 1: list as well, but those two will put the links in.

1449
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:45,920
Speaker 1: They're all available from the memo. Next question, how is

1450
01:10:45,920 --> 01:10:50,519
Speaker 1: his sleep wild? It changes so much every week, Like

1451
01:10:50,720 --> 01:10:53,160
Speaker 1: the first twelve weeks, I think every week is just

1452
01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:53,639
Speaker 1: so different.

1453
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:54,599
Speaker 3: Every day is different.

1454
01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:57,360
Speaker 1: The growth is so rapid you just get used to

1455
01:10:57,400 --> 01:10:59,240
Speaker 1: something and then a couple of days later it changes.

1456
01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:01,920
Speaker 1: And that's a tip for the first little while is

1457
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:04,640
Speaker 1: don't worry if you feel like you've got it and

1458
01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:06,840
Speaker 1: then you don't. You're not supposed to. Like I think,

1459
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:09,360
Speaker 1: it's just meant to be a total clusterfuck shit storm

1460
01:11:09,439 --> 01:11:12,320
Speaker 1: for this first little bit. So his sleep has gone

1461
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:15,280
Speaker 1: from at the start, they're pretty nocturnal. They don't have

1462
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:17,840
Speaker 1: a circadian rhythm, they don't know what's day and night,

1463
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:19,360
Speaker 1: so they're up and down.

1464
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:20,280
Speaker 3: He actually slept a.

1465
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:22,160
Speaker 1: Lot during the day, but then was awake all night

1466
01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:25,720
Speaker 1: at the beginning. And then the tip we got was

1467
01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:28,559
Speaker 1: to do his day naps with the blinds open. Your

1468
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 1: instinct would be to hide light from him, but it

1469
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:32,400
Speaker 1: was to kind of get him used to the difference

1470
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:35,760
Speaker 1: between day and night. And eventually, like he turned a

1471
01:11:35,800 --> 01:11:38,800
Speaker 1: corner maybe two weeks ago, so about five weeks where

1472
01:11:38,840 --> 01:11:41,599
Speaker 1: he suddenly just started sleeping overnight and then being awake

1473
01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:46,040
Speaker 1: during the day. So that's been a really wonderful change.

1474
01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:49,320
Speaker 1: He started not sleeping through the night, but having like big,

1475
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:54,280
Speaker 1: bigger gaps of longer sleeps overnight between feeds, so like

1476
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:56,400
Speaker 1: three hours at a time. He did a five and

1477
01:11:56,400 --> 01:11:58,160
Speaker 1: a half hour the other night, which was out of

1478
01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:00,760
Speaker 1: this world. It was so weird. But then during the

1479
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:04,840
Speaker 1: day he might only have like hour long breaks between

1480
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:06,840
Speaker 1: feeding and not nap in between all of them.

1481
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:08,880
Speaker 3: So it's really up and.

1482
01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:12,200
Speaker 1: Down, and you actually cope a lot better than I

1483
01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:14,800
Speaker 1: expected because the hormones just kind of help you, and

1484
01:12:14,840 --> 01:12:17,800
Speaker 1: the adrenaline I hear that starts to wear off. So

1485
01:12:18,320 --> 01:12:21,719
Speaker 1: at the moment I'm in survival mode. He's a pretty

1486
01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:24,400
Speaker 1: good baby in that one half of the day or

1487
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:27,000
Speaker 1: the other will be bigger gaps, and then the rest

1488
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:29,080
Speaker 1: of the day you're up a lot, but you do

1489
01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:31,040
Speaker 1: get big chunks here and there, and I'm learning to

1490
01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:33,760
Speaker 1: survive on a lot less. So yeah, up and down.

1491
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:39,439
Speaker 1: And then the last couple of questions about taking time

1492
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:44,439
Speaker 1: off and the identity question, so I took This was

1493
01:12:44,439 --> 01:12:46,479
Speaker 1: a really hard one for me because obviously I used

1494
01:12:46,520 --> 01:12:48,519
Speaker 1: to be a lawyer and I would have had a

1495
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:51,360
Speaker 1: really structured, paid MATT leave and a lot of security

1496
01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:54,200
Speaker 1: around that. I thought that now would be the first

1497
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:59,040
Speaker 1: time I really really missed that corporate structure and security. Interestingly,

1498
01:12:59,080 --> 01:13:03,560
Speaker 1: I actually haven't in such a fortunate position that I

1499
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:06,720
Speaker 1: work for myself and don't have official MATT leave, but

1500
01:13:07,040 --> 01:13:09,000
Speaker 1: was able to kind of create it myself, but in

1501
01:13:09,040 --> 01:13:13,840
Speaker 1: a much more flexible way. So I officially took six

1502
01:13:13,920 --> 01:13:17,240
Speaker 1: weeks like blanket six weeks off, which to some people

1503
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:20,639
Speaker 1: sounds incredibly short. I haven't really taken six days off

1504
01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:22,600
Speaker 1: in a row officially in a long time, so it

1505
01:13:23,160 --> 01:13:25,960
Speaker 1: was felt really really long when I first took it,

1506
01:13:26,080 --> 01:13:28,400
Speaker 1: but during it, suddenly it felt very short when I

1507
01:13:28,439 --> 01:13:30,760
Speaker 1: got to the end of it. But that was six

1508
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:34,799
Speaker 1: weeks of nothing like, no posting, not even small jobs.

1509
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:37,479
Speaker 1: I just totally allowed myself to be in the bubble,

1510
01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:41,400
Speaker 1: and it was I thought I would grieve the loss

1511
01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:45,160
Speaker 1: of productivity. I thought I would grieve the loss of schedule,

1512
01:13:45,240 --> 01:13:48,760
Speaker 1: and I'd worry about feeling relevant and keeping my career momentum.

1513
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:54,160
Speaker 1: But I was so present in the mum bubble that

1514
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:57,439
Speaker 1: it just felt like I blinked and it was gone.

1515
01:13:57,479 --> 01:14:00,599
Speaker 1: But it allowed me to not have deadline each day

1516
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,599
Speaker 1: and do not have expectations on any particular time. I

1517
01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:06,960
Speaker 1: just could let every minute be what it was. Didn't

1518
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:08,599
Speaker 1: matter if it was day or night, didn't matter if

1519
01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:11,160
Speaker 1: I slept or I didn't. There was no expectation, and

1520
01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:13,920
Speaker 1: it meant that there was. I was never resentful, I

1521
01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:16,880
Speaker 1: was never pressured. I could just lean into being there

1522
01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:19,080
Speaker 1: for Teddy for whatever he needed minute to minute. And

1523
01:14:19,120 --> 01:14:22,280
Speaker 1: I'm so so glad that I did that. And I'd

1524
01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:24,960
Speaker 1: made sure I worked a lot, as you guys probably remember,

1525
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:27,479
Speaker 1: in the last couple of trimeths in the last trimester

1526
01:14:29,439 --> 01:14:31,360
Speaker 1: to save so that I could do that. So I

1527
01:14:31,439 --> 01:14:33,960
Speaker 1: kind of counterbalanced it as much as I could and

1528
01:14:34,040 --> 01:14:38,640
Speaker 1: made the most of before he arrived. Then after the

1529
01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:40,599
Speaker 1: six weeks it's now been seven weeks, I kind.

1530
01:14:40,479 --> 01:14:41,559
Speaker 3: Of went back to work.

1531
01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:45,040
Speaker 1: But I have the great privilege of having a very

1532
01:14:45,080 --> 01:14:48,080
Speaker 1: flexible working life where I can kind of do a

1533
01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:51,040
Speaker 1: bit of filming, like one or two times a week,

1534
01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:53,519
Speaker 1: and then ramp up when I would need to, and

1535
01:14:53,560 --> 01:14:58,000
Speaker 1: then ramp down if it's proving too much. So I'm

1536
01:14:58,120 --> 01:14:59,600
Speaker 1: very lucky to be able to do that with my

1537
01:14:59,680 --> 01:15:02,799
Speaker 1: career and have an amazing support team at the TV show.

1538
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:06,120
Speaker 1: My first filming back, they brought the whole team to

1539
01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:08,120
Speaker 1: our house and shot at our house so that we

1540
01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:12,040
Speaker 1: could not have to leave him, and that was I'm

1541
01:15:12,080 --> 01:15:14,160
Speaker 1: just dipping my toe in and doing it bit by

1542
01:15:14,200 --> 01:15:18,839
Speaker 1: bit and allowing myself to ease into it, and that's

1543
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:21,200
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful to be able to do that, and

1544
01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:24,840
Speaker 1: mental health wise, that's been amazing. It's also meant that

1545
01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:28,519
Speaker 1: I think if you take matt leave, some people do.

1546
01:15:28,600 --> 01:15:32,960
Speaker 1: The next question was about grieving your work identity versus being,

1547
01:15:34,240 --> 01:15:37,439
Speaker 1: you know, like a mum, and that that's really divisive

1548
01:15:37,439 --> 01:15:40,679
Speaker 1: for some people. I've had friends who took say twelve months,

1549
01:15:40,720 --> 01:15:42,880
Speaker 1: and then that was all or nothing, that was twelve

1550
01:15:42,920 --> 01:15:45,920
Speaker 1: months of no working identity, and then they've kind of

1551
01:15:45,960 --> 01:15:48,679
Speaker 1: lost touch of that person and then found it really

1552
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:51,360
Speaker 1: hard to get her back again and then grieve the

1553
01:15:51,360 --> 01:15:55,120
Speaker 1: loss of each of those identities. And I personally find

1554
01:15:55,160 --> 01:15:58,280
Speaker 1: that the balance of being able to keep a toe

1555
01:15:58,320 --> 01:16:01,640
Speaker 1: dipped in one and still focus on the other. I mean,

1556
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:03,559
Speaker 1: it's very very early days. I feel like I'll have

1557
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:06,400
Speaker 1: to keep you updated on this front. But I haven't

1558
01:16:06,400 --> 01:16:08,800
Speaker 1: really grieved the loss of my work identity yet. But

1559
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:11,479
Speaker 1: I also think that part of that for me is

1560
01:16:11,800 --> 01:16:16,720
Speaker 1: no dally. I think I'm nearly at the end of

1561
01:16:16,760 --> 01:16:21,360
Speaker 1: Teddy being so patient with this episode. But yeah, I

1562
01:16:21,400 --> 01:16:23,080
Speaker 1: think I haven't really a grieved it because I also

1563
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:25,200
Speaker 1: was so ready to be a mom, and it's been

1564
01:16:25,240 --> 01:16:28,120
Speaker 1: embracing the start of a new chapter in a new season.

1565
01:16:28,320 --> 01:16:31,719
Speaker 1: And one thing I have really tried to I've noticed

1566
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:33,960
Speaker 1: in the last week, and some of you will have

1567
01:16:34,040 --> 01:16:36,200
Speaker 1: noticed it in the way that I've been posting about

1568
01:16:36,200 --> 01:16:40,000
Speaker 1: how long I've delayed this episode. I noticed that since

1569
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:44,920
Speaker 1: I did start introducing some work things again, that suddenly

1570
01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:47,840
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh God, Teddy's not letting me record

1571
01:16:47,880 --> 01:16:49,760
Speaker 1: this episode, Like I just can't get through it. I've

1572
01:16:49,760 --> 01:16:52,080
Speaker 1: tried sixteen times. I'd catch myself saying.

1573
01:16:51,880 --> 01:16:55,559
Speaker 3: That to Nick, Hey, Budy. But then I'd.

1574
01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:59,559
Speaker 1: Realize I created that deadline, and last week I didn't

1575
01:16:59,560 --> 01:17:04,760
Speaker 1: have that deadline. I'd allowed myself to fully concentrate on him,

1576
01:17:04,800 --> 01:17:06,920
Speaker 1: and it's yeah, he has no concept of the fact

1577
01:17:06,920 --> 01:17:10,000
Speaker 1: that I have chosen to create a deadline for a

1578
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:15,840
Speaker 1: podcast for myself, and that created pressure and frustration that

1579
01:17:16,560 --> 01:17:20,320
Speaker 1: I had self created all of that by just introducing

1580
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:24,080
Speaker 1: a new obligation for myself and I kind of have

1581
01:17:24,160 --> 01:17:26,519
Speaker 1: control over those decisions. And I don't want to do that.

1582
01:17:26,640 --> 01:17:29,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to start loading all this stuff up

1583
01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:32,759
Speaker 1: and then be resentful that he's taking up my time

1584
01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:35,680
Speaker 1: when really I'm the one who put things in the

1585
01:17:35,720 --> 01:17:38,720
Speaker 1: time that previously i'd been giving one hundred and ten

1586
01:17:38,760 --> 01:17:42,519
Speaker 1: percent to him. So I really want to still keep

1587
01:17:42,520 --> 01:17:45,600
Speaker 1: this newborn bubble going as long as I can, but

1588
01:17:45,720 --> 01:17:50,160
Speaker 1: allow my work identity to gently, gently come back in

1589
01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:52,160
Speaker 1: but without starting to you know, do.

1590
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:54,439
Speaker 3: There we go?

1591
01:17:54,560 --> 01:17:56,759
Speaker 1: I mean, he's really saying, Okay, I've given you balance.

1592
01:17:56,800 --> 01:17:59,400
Speaker 1: You've had a full hour and twenty and it's actually

1593
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:01,640
Speaker 1: taken me so many more hours with breaks to do this.

1594
01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:04,080
Speaker 3: But yeah, it is a real juggle.

1595
01:18:04,400 --> 01:18:06,719
Speaker 1: And you guys know that I did the first shoot

1596
01:18:06,760 --> 01:18:09,599
Speaker 1: back very early and much earlier than I would have otherwise,

1597
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:12,479
Speaker 1: for the sake of a beautiful Mother's Day cover. That

1598
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:15,040
Speaker 1: was a full circle moment for Stellar Magazine, who had

1599
01:18:15,080 --> 01:18:21,000
Speaker 1: originally shared our pregnancy love story, and that was wild.

1600
01:18:23,160 --> 01:18:30,479
Speaker 1: But I have completely lost my train of thought. But

1601
01:18:32,200 --> 01:18:33,840
Speaker 1: I didn't even know what I was going to say there,

1602
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:36,920
Speaker 1: but something about oh.

1603
01:18:36,880 --> 01:18:38,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was the start of the mum juggle.

1604
01:18:38,680 --> 01:18:42,679
Speaker 1: I was feeding on set and learning how to work

1605
01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:45,240
Speaker 1: part of one identity around the other. And I don't

1606
01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:47,320
Speaker 1: think it has to be all or nothing. And I

1607
01:18:47,320 --> 01:18:49,479
Speaker 1: think the balance will look different at different times, but

1608
01:18:50,479 --> 01:18:53,840
Speaker 1: a shorter answer is I am easing in. I haven't

1609
01:18:53,880 --> 01:18:56,480
Speaker 1: felt I have had to grieve the loss of one

1610
01:18:57,439 --> 01:19:00,880
Speaker 1: to gain another. It's definitely already star to feel hard,

1611
01:19:01,720 --> 01:19:04,840
Speaker 1: but it's also worth it, and I'm sure I will

1612
01:19:04,880 --> 01:19:07,519
Speaker 1: continue to navigate it. There is something wonderful coming on

1613
01:19:07,520 --> 01:19:10,439
Speaker 1: the point of Juggle from someone else in the network

1614
01:19:10,439 --> 01:19:13,640
Speaker 1: that I can share very soon and have helped or

1615
01:19:13,680 --> 01:19:15,639
Speaker 1: I have had a sneak peek into, but that will

1616
01:19:15,640 --> 01:19:19,080
Speaker 1: come soon. And then the very last question that we

1617
01:19:19,160 --> 01:19:21,599
Speaker 1: have time for is how have you made time.

1618
01:19:21,439 --> 01:19:22,439
Speaker 3: For you as a couple.

1619
01:19:23,080 --> 01:19:24,800
Speaker 1: I will have to circle back on this one because

1620
01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:26,840
Speaker 1: I must say we haven't had a lot of time.

1621
01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:30,800
Speaker 1: It's really interesting. Immediately everything is about Teddy and so

1622
01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:34,439
Speaker 1: we are often dividing and conquering, which means that there

1623
01:19:34,479 --> 01:19:36,880
Speaker 1: is not a lot of time together. That's a really

1624
01:19:36,920 --> 01:19:40,080
Speaker 1: new dynamic. But we are so fortunate too. Both work

1625
01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:43,479
Speaker 1: from home, so we've both been really present together, even

1626
01:19:43,479 --> 01:19:46,280
Speaker 1: if not focused on each other as a couple. We've

1627
01:19:46,320 --> 01:19:49,040
Speaker 1: both been at home and sharing in the first smiles

1628
01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:52,240
Speaker 1: and the first laughs, and that's meant so so much.

1629
01:19:52,280 --> 01:19:55,840
Speaker 1: I know not every couple has the flexibility of work

1630
01:19:55,880 --> 01:19:58,240
Speaker 1: to be able to do that. And we're still probably

1631
01:19:58,280 --> 01:20:00,640
Speaker 1: a bit early on to have been making time for

1632
01:20:00,720 --> 01:20:03,040
Speaker 1: us separately as a couple and date nights and stuff,

1633
01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:05,760
Speaker 1: but the fact that we work from home means that

1634
01:20:05,840 --> 01:20:08,040
Speaker 1: at least we're getting a lot of contact time together.

1635
01:20:08,800 --> 01:20:13,080
Speaker 1: And because we are, yeah, have been at home and

1636
01:20:13,760 --> 01:20:16,840
Speaker 1: have been really embracing the bubble and not you know,

1637
01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:19,760
Speaker 1: going out too much. We've had lots of beautiful nights

1638
01:20:19,800 --> 01:20:23,720
Speaker 1: at home as a trio really like watching movies. We've

1639
01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:26,880
Speaker 1: watched so many movies and had a lot of Uber eats,

1640
01:20:26,920 --> 01:20:31,080
Speaker 1: takeaway nights and just cuddle on the couch and had

1641
01:20:31,080 --> 01:20:34,160
Speaker 1: little bathtime routines that we've done together and getting to

1642
01:20:34,439 --> 01:20:36,200
Speaker 1: know the person that we made together.

1643
01:20:36,400 --> 01:20:38,719
Speaker 3: That is time as a couple and that's just beautiful.

1644
01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:41,679
Speaker 1: But I'm sure the whole date night thing will start

1645
01:20:41,720 --> 01:20:45,160
Speaker 1: to become more prominent when we come out of the trenches.

1646
01:20:46,160 --> 01:20:47,960
Speaker 1: But I will keep you guys updated on that. And

1647
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:49,640
Speaker 1: for now, I think I do need to turn my

1648
01:20:49,680 --> 01:20:51,160
Speaker 1: attention back to our little man.

1649
01:20:51,920 --> 01:20:53,760
Speaker 3: He's just the.

1650
01:20:53,760 --> 01:20:56,920
Speaker 1: Most special little boy. I feel so so lucky to

1651
01:20:56,960 --> 01:20:59,160
Speaker 1: be his mum. I can't believe that we had our

1652
01:20:59,200 --> 01:21:03,120
Speaker 1: first Mother's Day. It was absolutely beautiful. Interestingly, no questions

1653
01:21:03,160 --> 01:21:05,920
Speaker 1: came up about the adoption and having him as my

1654
01:21:05,960 --> 01:21:08,200
Speaker 1: first blood relative and how that's all been, so maybe

1655
01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:11,559
Speaker 1: I'll cover that in another episode. But I know Darling,

1656
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:14,280
Speaker 1: Ange and I will be back for another Years of

1657
01:21:14,320 --> 01:21:17,599
Speaker 1: Our Lives episode shortly. Again, can't promise it will come

1658
01:21:17,640 --> 01:21:19,760
Speaker 1: before twenty twenty five, but if you do want to

1659
01:21:20,160 --> 01:21:23,080
Speaker 1: ask any other questions, including about Angre and the role

1660
01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:25,720
Speaker 1: her role as Auntie, then yeah, just send us a

1661
01:21:25,800 --> 01:21:28,720
Speaker 1: DM as usual and we will get back to you

1662
01:21:28,840 --> 01:21:32,040
Speaker 1: at some point in the future. I won't even say

1663
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:34,360
Speaker 1: near future because I have no idea. But thank you

1664
01:21:34,400 --> 01:21:36,960
Speaker 1: guys so much for being along on the journey. I

1665
01:21:37,160 --> 01:21:40,639
Speaker 1: just am so grateful for this wonderful yighborhood. It's been

1666
01:21:40,680 --> 01:21:42,960
Speaker 1: beautiful evolving with all of you into a new chapter,

1667
01:21:43,040 --> 01:21:46,400
Speaker 1: and I appreciate those who have stuck around so so much.

1668
01:21:47,040 --> 01:21:50,120
Speaker 1: Your love and support has meant the world. I love

1669
01:21:50,160 --> 01:21:51,640
Speaker 1: being a mom so much, and I love that you

1670
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:54,080
Speaker 1: guys have embraced it too. I hope you were all

1671
01:21:54,120 --> 01:21:58,639
Speaker 1: having a wonderful week and are seizing your yay and again,

1672
01:21:58,680 --> 01:22:00,519
Speaker 1: thank you for being patient while it's been a little

1673
01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:05,080
Speaker 1: pause in planning for events and products and all that

1674
01:22:05,080 --> 01:22:06,920
Speaker 1: stuff has taken a little bit of a back seat

1675
01:22:07,000 --> 01:22:09,960
Speaker 1: for a little while. But I'm so glad we actually

1676
01:22:10,000 --> 01:22:11,760
Speaker 1: did this episode. I can't believe I actually made it

1677
01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:14,840
Speaker 1: all the way through, and thank you for sticking with

1678
01:22:14,880 --> 01:22:18,280
Speaker 1: the monologue. I will see you guys some point soon,

1679
01:22:18,400 --> 01:22:21,080
Speaker 1: and I also hope that it's made sense. I kind

1680
01:22:21,080 --> 01:22:23,559
Speaker 1: of feel like I'm already having that weird vulnerability hangover

1681
01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:24,960
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh my god, that was such a

1682
01:22:25,120 --> 01:22:27,200
Speaker 1: rubbish I just want to delete it all and start again,

1683
01:22:27,240 --> 01:22:29,880
Speaker 1: but that'll make eighteen times of recording it, so I'm

1684
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:30,519
Speaker 1: just going to trust it.

1685
01:22:30,560 --> 01:22:32,840
Speaker 3: There's some parts of this that make sense and that

1686
01:22:32,880 --> 01:22:33,479
Speaker 3: are useful.

1687
01:22:33,520 --> 01:22:36,640
Speaker 1: But again, apologies for anything I've said or messed up

1688
01:22:36,680 --> 01:22:38,559
Speaker 1: in the haze and my brain just being all over

1689
01:22:38,560 --> 01:22:41,479
Speaker 1: the place. I hope it was interesting in some way

1690
01:22:41,560 --> 01:22:43,639
Speaker 1: for those of you who are stuck with it.

1691
01:22:43,560 --> 01:22:44,160
Speaker 3: Till the end.

1692
01:22:45,000 --> 01:23:00,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, we'll be back at some point. You