WEBVTT - Soldier On

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a MoMA mea podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges

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<v Speaker 1>the traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast

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<v Speaker 1>is recorded on online dating. We've all heard a story,

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<v Speaker 1>good or bad. It's the way the world now. You

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<v Speaker 1>log on, upload your best picks, think of a few

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<v Speaker 1>witty pickup lines, and get swiping. And if you're lucky,

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<v Speaker 1>you won't be swiping too long because the perfect person

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<v Speaker 1>is right there at the tap of a button, without

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<v Speaker 1>even having to leave the couch.

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<v Speaker 2>There were gifts that were rocking up like I'd come

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<v Speaker 2>home to, like long stem red roses, flowers glore. My

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<v Speaker 2>unit at one time looked like a florist, and there

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<v Speaker 2>were all these packages and everything showing up, and I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>he's like really invested, Like you know, this is actually

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<v Speaker 2>a legitimate relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>But how well can you really know someone before you've

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<v Speaker 1>actually met them? How can you try everything they're telling

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<v Speaker 1>you where they say they live, or their job is,

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<v Speaker 1>or their intentions.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought it would stop, but then a current affair

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<v Speaker 2>called me and then I was like, oh my god.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think that's when it had kind of really

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<v Speaker 2>slapped me across the face that I was like, fuck,

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<v Speaker 2>I've been scammed.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex

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<v Speaker 1>Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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<v Speaker 1>unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the

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<v Speaker 1>hearts of the very people who lived them. The year

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<v Speaker 1>was twenty ten when Kylie's story begins. At thirty years old.

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<v Speaker 1>She had her life together, a great job, great friends.

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<v Speaker 1>There was just one part she felt was missing.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was at a point where all my friends

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<v Speaker 2>were in relationships, popping out, babies, getting engaged, getting married,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was the single pringle, and I was starting

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<v Speaker 2>to think, well, what the hell was wrong with me?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I had a good job, it was just like

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<v Speaker 2>there was something missing, and it was just like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>why have they got it and I don't. And it

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<v Speaker 2>was at the point then that dating apps were like

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<v Speaker 2>the new unspoken thing, Like people would never talk about

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<v Speaker 2>getting on a dating app to meet someone. So I

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<v Speaker 2>kind of didn't tell anyone that I'd signed up. And

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<v Speaker 2>that was back in the day when Oasis was the

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<v Speaker 2>bumble of its generation, and I was like, oh, well,

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<v Speaker 2>it can't hurt, you know. I wasn't so much a

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<v Speaker 2>shy person. It was just too busy to go and

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<v Speaker 2>try and meet people in the old fashioned way of

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<v Speaker 2>like the laundro matter on the bus or the train,

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<v Speaker 2>or the cliches they give in the movies. So I

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<v Speaker 2>thought I'd give online dating or try and see what

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<v Speaker 2>this whole new thing was in terms of dating and

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<v Speaker 2>meeting people.

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<v Speaker 1>So ont oasis she went. She set up a profile,

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<v Speaker 1>added some photos and throw caution to the wind.

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<v Speaker 2>It was kind of like feeling in a job application

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<v Speaker 2>because it was all the questions I ask you and

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<v Speaker 2>everything they want to know. It was like, okay, so

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<v Speaker 2>put it out there and it would have been probably

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<v Speaker 2>about three weeks and then that's when Liam and I connected.

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<v Speaker 2>The photos were definitely what sucked me in because he

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<v Speaker 2>was a good looking dude. It's like think of Channing Tater.

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<v Speaker 2>The profile was very detail so it described about his job,

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<v Speaker 2>that he was in the US Army but based in Australia.

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<v Speaker 2>He had a daughter, he was a single father, he

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<v Speaker 2>was looking to meet the love of his life, loved

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<v Speaker 2>being outdoorsy, so all the things I looked for. Of

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<v Speaker 2>course good looking as well, had a job. It just

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<v Speaker 2>screamed out like to me. So I connected and sent

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<v Speaker 2>a message going hey, how you would love to chat

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<v Speaker 2>and didn't really think i'd get anything back because I

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<v Speaker 2>was very skeptical about online dating. And next thing I know,

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<v Speaker 2>there was a ping back.

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<v Speaker 1>They started chatting, and Kylie immediately liked what she saw.

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<v Speaker 2>He was on deployment in Afghanistan with the Army, looking

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<v Speaker 2>to obviously chat to someone in the times where he

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't doing active duties and like they're downtime basically. So

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<v Speaker 2>it was more like, I have a lot of friends

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<v Speaker 2>in the army, so I know how difficult it can

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<v Speaker 2>be to be away from love one, so I kind

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<v Speaker 2>of saw it as a way to fill in his

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<v Speaker 2>time and just be someone that he could talk to

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<v Speaker 2>and be out of what he was there for. He

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<v Speaker 2>would be deployed for around six months to a year,

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<v Speaker 2>and then back for a couple of months and then

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<v Speaker 2>sent away again. Man in uniform. Do I need to

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<v Speaker 2>say anymore? Yeah, So I think that's the lure of

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<v Speaker 2>what it was. It was like, oh, he's in the army,

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<v Speaker 2>he's good looking. I'm like, what more could a woman

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<v Speaker 2>asks for?

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<v Speaker 1>But it was more than that. They got chatting a

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<v Speaker 1>lot in the first few days, and Kylie quickly became

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<v Speaker 1>pretty smitten.

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<v Speaker 2>I was in Sydney and he was in Townsville, which

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<v Speaker 2>I've lived in as well, so I know the area

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<v Speaker 2>quite oh, and I thought, well, that's not so bad

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<v Speaker 2>at least, that's another point that we had in common.

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<v Speaker 2>And we started talking about why I left and what

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<v Speaker 2>brought him to Townsville in specific, and you know, out

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<v Speaker 2>of all regions in Australia, why was it Townsville And

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<v Speaker 2>he was just basically that's where the deployment was. We

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<v Speaker 2>would talk about everything and anything, and we'd be up

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<v Speaker 2>to all hours and it was like when we were chatting,

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<v Speaker 2>it just flowed naturally, like there were no awkward moments.

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<v Speaker 2>We were talking literally every day, so there wasn't a

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<v Speaker 2>day that we missed, you know, any opportunity that I could,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd be like sneakingly logging in on my phone to

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<v Speaker 2>see if he'd left messages or you know, as soon

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<v Speaker 2>as I get notifications saying that, oh, you've received a

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<v Speaker 2>new message, I was like back on there. So it

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<v Speaker 2>was a kind of lust pool that had me sort

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<v Speaker 2>of that attracted. It was like, well, hang on, here's

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<v Speaker 2>someone that's someone invested in me for a change, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and they're local, so it was just like, let's explore

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<v Speaker 2>and it was just again, Yeah, we'd chat about anything

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<v Speaker 2>and everything. Remember your high school crush and when you

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<v Speaker 2>first feel like you've met the lover of your life.

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<v Speaker 2>It was all giddy. It was all asking each other

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<v Speaker 2>about each other's lives and getting to know each other.

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<v Speaker 2>So how you would expect an online relationship to start.

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<v Speaker 2>There was that anticipation of getting messages back from him,

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<v Speaker 2>so it was getting really invested in lack. Well, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I want to divulge information about my life to him

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<v Speaker 2>and see if I fit what he's looking for.

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<v Speaker 1>And what Kylie hasn't told us at this point is

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<v Speaker 1>she'd had a pretty rough trot when it came to love,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd been.

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<v Speaker 2>Through a lot. Specifically when I was younger again, I

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<v Speaker 2>was dating someone in the army that unfortunately was killed

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<v Speaker 2>in Afghanistan on active duty, and at quite a young age,

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<v Speaker 2>that kind of really destroyed me, and for a while

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<v Speaker 2>I just didn't want to date. I was just not

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<v Speaker 2>interested in it. It took me a while to get

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<v Speaker 2>back on the dating bandwagon. When I did, the relationship

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<v Speaker 2>I was in were awful because they were just like

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<v Speaker 2>filled with cheating or just disrespect or they just wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>last long. So think at that point when I met

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<v Speaker 2>Liam online, I was at a point where I was like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>well I'm sick of a single pringle and the third

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<v Speaker 2>whell and you know, it was like, I think I'm

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<v Speaker 2>now in a point where I want that special piece

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<v Speaker 2>that was missing, so I had to go looking for it.

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<v Speaker 2>That wall was up massively because as soon as he

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<v Speaker 2>said that he was in the army, I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh no, I'm like, oh, and I just I think

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<v Speaker 2>not so much reacted negatively, but I had that wall

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<v Speaker 2>up and he could tell, and he was like, what's

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<v Speaker 2>your problem with people in the army? I said, well,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not really a problem with the people. It's a

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<v Speaker 2>problem with the job and you know, going to fight

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<v Speaker 2>wars that are not ours to fight. If things progressed,

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<v Speaker 2>I just didn't want to go through that again. And

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<v Speaker 2>he did so much to convince me that his job

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't that dangerous, like he was doing other things that

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<v Speaker 2>weren't out on the front line. And I was more like,

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<v Speaker 2>but you're in the army. I'm like, you're out there

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<v Speaker 2>basically with a gun being shot at or shooting at

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<v Speaker 2>other people. I'm like, your life is still at risk,

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<v Speaker 2>in particular when you're in Afghanistan. When you're somewhere like

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<v Speaker 2>Solomon Islands, they're generally your peacekeeping missions. So I kind

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<v Speaker 2>of knew that being in Afghanistan. It did have that

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<v Speaker 2>wall of like, is this the last time that I'm

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<v Speaker 2>ever going to hear from you? What's going to happen?

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<v Speaker 2>How am I going to get told? Like all those

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<v Speaker 2>questions did cycle back through my head, and it was

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<v Speaker 2>just like, because some time had passed since when I

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<v Speaker 2>was that young and went through that, it was like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe try and open yourself up to again and don't

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<v Speaker 2>be so hard on yourself. If that's going to stop

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<v Speaker 2>you from finding love, then you're probably going to be

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<v Speaker 2>alone for the rest of your life. So it was

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<v Speaker 2>kind of it did take me a lot to really

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<v Speaker 2>drop that wall and to want to sort of pursue it.

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<v Speaker 1>There's no downplaying it. That's a significant trauma. So for

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<v Speaker 1>Kylie to have dropped her walls for someone else and

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<v Speaker 1>the Army was big, but their connection was obvious and

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<v Speaker 1>he made her feel a million bucks.

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<v Speaker 2>It's nice eye, it's a nice smile. Just my personality

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<v Speaker 2>because I am very out there considering all the things

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<v Speaker 2>I've been through in life, I'm still pretty much a

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<v Speaker 2>big goofball and just I can articulate myself. Well, it

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<v Speaker 2>was more just yeah. He was like, you look like

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<v Speaker 2>you're someone that's very down to earth, very caring, which

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<v Speaker 2>I am. Yeah, it was just I think he liked

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<v Speaker 2>what he saw too, because I did have those walls

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<v Speaker 2>up and the barriers, and I didn't want to sort

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<v Speaker 2>of drop them so easily because it was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to be heard again. And I did kind

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<v Speaker 2>of put the whole guy through the ringer in terms

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<v Speaker 2>of just like being so defensive and protective of myself

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<v Speaker 2>and him having to reassure me that no, look, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't wait to meet you. I'm looking forward to

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<v Speaker 2>spending time with you. We're going to do all these

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<v Speaker 2>amazing things, things like going on the Harbor Cruisers road troops.

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<v Speaker 2>So we spoke about everything that we were going to do.

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<v Speaker 2>When he came to Sydney, there were gifts that were

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<v Speaker 2>rocking up like I'd come home to, like long stem

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<v Speaker 2>red roses, flowers glore. My unit at one time looked

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<v Speaker 2>like a florist and there were all these packages and

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<v Speaker 2>everything showing up, and I'm like, well, he's like really invested,

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<v Speaker 2>like you know, this is actually a legitimate relationship. And

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<v Speaker 2>that's when I started telling people I was in a relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>But she wasn't silly. You couldn't have an entire relationship online.

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<v Speaker 2>It's actually Liam that suggested getting onto Skype. I was like, yes, absolutely,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I want to hear this guy's voice, because, let's

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<v Speaker 2>face it, you know, hot guy, hot voice that you

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<v Speaker 2>can't be a hot guy and an ugly voice. I

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<v Speaker 2>was just like, being that good looking, he's got to

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<v Speaker 2>obviously sound hot as well. Again, very shallow, I think.

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<v Speaker 2>So when he suggested that we get on Skype, I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, yep, great. So we looked at our time

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<v Speaker 2>differences and we found a time that would be suitable.

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<v Speaker 2>Me being that professional that I was back then, it

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<v Speaker 2>was like, well, I'll book it in as a meeting request.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'd blocked out time in my diary that I

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<v Speaker 2>was busy, and I told my friends that. I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh no, I've got a work meeting because at that point,

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<v Speaker 2>again none of them knew that I was even online dating.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just like, oh yeah, I'm seeing someone, but

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<v Speaker 2>I was very vague on details and I didn't divulge much.

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<v Speaker 2>So we came to the skype call and it was

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<v Speaker 2>like I remember racing home like I was back then

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<v Speaker 2>again it was public transport, so I was like, hurry up, bus,

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<v Speaker 2>get me the f home because I've got an important call.

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<v Speaker 2>And it was just being really giddy, like it was

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<v Speaker 2>almost like going on your first date again as a teenager,

0:11:18.490 --> 0:11:22.410
<v Speaker 2>and all those butterflies and the crazy feelings. And I

0:11:22.450 --> 0:11:25.130
<v Speaker 2>remember logging in and just waiting for him, and then

0:11:25.250 --> 0:11:28.210
<v Speaker 2>when he popped up and it started ringing, I was like,

0:11:28.290 --> 0:11:30.930
<v Speaker 2>oh God, do I answer. I'm like so it took

0:11:30.970 --> 0:11:32.450
<v Speaker 2>a couple of minutes before I was like, all right,

0:11:32.530 --> 0:11:35.130
<v Speaker 2>let's answer. And I was on full camera, but then

0:11:35.290 --> 0:11:37.490
<v Speaker 2>there was a black screen and I was like, okay,

0:11:37.650 --> 0:11:39.850
<v Speaker 2>I'm like not what I was expecting. And I said

0:11:39.850 --> 0:11:41.890
<v Speaker 2>to him, oh, is there a problem with your like

0:11:42.130 --> 0:11:44.450
<v Speaker 2>visual I'm like, I can hear you, and yeah, he

0:11:44.490 --> 0:11:46.690
<v Speaker 2>did have a hot voice, but it was like I

0:11:46.810 --> 0:11:49.250
<v Speaker 2>can't see you, and he said, oh no, no, no,

0:11:49.530 --> 0:11:52.530
<v Speaker 2>I can't turn the camera on because we're not allowed

0:11:52.530 --> 0:11:54.610
<v Speaker 2>to do video calls. So I left it for a

0:11:54.690 --> 0:11:56.810
<v Speaker 2>little bit and then we'd talk and then I'd say, oh,

0:11:56.890 --> 0:11:59.530
<v Speaker 2>you know, if no one's around, maybe you should just

0:11:59.570 --> 0:12:01.690
<v Speaker 2>try and turn it on, even for like two seconds,

0:12:01.730 --> 0:12:03.890
<v Speaker 2>like break the law. It's all a bit of fun

0:12:03.890 --> 0:12:06.330
<v Speaker 2>and games. I'm like, you don't get caught, it's okay,

0:12:06.810 --> 0:12:08.690
<v Speaker 2>And so I was trying to convince him, and he

0:12:08.770 --> 0:12:11.090
<v Speaker 2>was just like, no, no, I can't. I can't. I'll

0:12:11.090 --> 0:12:13.850
<v Speaker 2>get really big trouble if I'm caught, like they'll put

0:12:13.890 --> 0:12:17.890
<v Speaker 2>me in like military prison. And so we moved from

0:12:18.050 --> 0:12:21.090
<v Speaker 2>being an online chat to more skype chats, and every

0:12:21.130 --> 0:12:23.890
<v Speaker 2>time the camera wasn't working, me being me, I would

0:12:24.010 --> 0:12:26.090
<v Speaker 2>keep trying to get him to turn the camera on

0:12:26.290 --> 0:12:29.530
<v Speaker 2>or maybe use a phone somewhere quietly in like the

0:12:29.570 --> 0:12:32.850
<v Speaker 2>bunk rooms and stuff, and it just wouldn't happen. So

0:12:32.930 --> 0:12:35.770
<v Speaker 2>that was kind of the first point where I was like, Okay,

0:12:35.810 --> 0:12:37.930
<v Speaker 2>why doesn't he want to be on camera with me?

0:12:38.050 --> 0:12:41.330
<v Speaker 2>Like we've been talking for all this time, Like what's

0:12:41.370 --> 0:12:43.650
<v Speaker 2>gone on? Is there something wrong with him? Like has

0:12:43.690 --> 0:12:45.730
<v Speaker 2>he got something on his face that I'm not going

0:12:45.810 --> 0:12:48.730
<v Speaker 2>to like? So I went through all these possible different

0:12:48.770 --> 0:12:51.570
<v Speaker 2>scenarios of why isn't he turning his camera.

0:12:51.330 --> 0:12:54.210
<v Speaker 1>On, but they did speak a lot. It's not like

0:12:54.290 --> 0:12:57.490
<v Speaker 1>he wasn't real. And soon things between them became even

0:12:57.530 --> 0:12:58.610
<v Speaker 1>more real too.

0:12:59.690 --> 0:13:02.690
<v Speaker 2>I think the official of oh will you be my

0:13:02.770 --> 0:13:05.530
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend thing kind of came in the delivery of like

0:13:05.570 --> 0:13:07.970
<v Speaker 2>a dozen long stem red roses with like a little

0:13:08.010 --> 0:13:10.410
<v Speaker 2>card in it that was like, literally just on it,

0:13:10.450 --> 0:13:12.890
<v Speaker 2>will you be my girlfriend. I was like, was not

0:13:13.010 --> 0:13:15.130
<v Speaker 2>expecting it at all. Like when I got home, I

0:13:15.170 --> 0:13:17.130
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh, passal, and I thought it was for

0:13:17.210 --> 0:13:19.930
<v Speaker 2>one of my housemates. And then I looked and I'm like, oh,

0:13:19.970 --> 0:13:22.490
<v Speaker 2>it's mine. I'm like I haven't ordered anything. And then

0:13:22.530 --> 0:13:24.130
<v Speaker 2>when I opened it, I was like, oh my god,

0:13:24.290 --> 0:13:27.170
<v Speaker 2>so like crying and all that kind of stuff, because again,

0:13:27.250 --> 0:13:29.210
<v Speaker 2>at that point, I was very invested in it, and

0:13:29.290 --> 0:13:32.010
<v Speaker 2>I felt that this was someone I cared for and

0:13:32.450 --> 0:13:35.250
<v Speaker 2>was I falling for quite possibly, because there were definitely

0:13:35.250 --> 0:13:37.410
<v Speaker 2>feelings there. Like I was telling people, oh, you know,

0:13:37.570 --> 0:13:40.250
<v Speaker 2>not interested in dating, because in my mind I was

0:13:40.290 --> 0:13:43.290
<v Speaker 2>waiting on someone to come back and to see me,

0:13:43.450 --> 0:13:47.930
<v Speaker 2>and it was so to me it was definitely a relationship.

0:13:47.970 --> 0:13:50.450
<v Speaker 2>And even when we're on the phone, he would be like, oh,

0:13:50.610 --> 0:13:53.250
<v Speaker 2>you're my girl now, like you know you belong with me.

0:13:53.450 --> 0:13:55.690
<v Speaker 2>Our life together is going to be great. So we did,

0:13:56.530 --> 0:13:59.170
<v Speaker 2>I guess, reference each other as a couple, and the

0:13:59.210 --> 0:14:01.450
<v Speaker 2>things that we were going to do not I or you.

0:14:01.610 --> 0:14:04.930
<v Speaker 2>It was us and his daughter and all that stuff,

0:14:05.010 --> 0:14:08.290
<v Speaker 2>so it felt like a legitimate relationship. It got to

0:14:08.330 --> 0:14:10.330
<v Speaker 2>a point where we were saying I love you, and

0:14:10.370 --> 0:14:12.730
<v Speaker 2>for me, that was something very hard to do because

0:14:13.250 --> 0:14:16.530
<v Speaker 2>back with that partner that did unfortunately die in Afghanistan,

0:14:16.610 --> 0:14:18.570
<v Speaker 2>that was the last thing we ever said. So for

0:14:18.610 --> 0:14:20.730
<v Speaker 2>a very long time in my life, I couldn't even

0:14:20.770 --> 0:14:22.930
<v Speaker 2>say I love you to my own mother because it

0:14:23.010 --> 0:14:25.770
<v Speaker 2>was just something that it was just too traumatic for

0:14:25.810 --> 0:14:27.970
<v Speaker 2>me to actually say, because it was like in my

0:14:28.130 --> 0:14:29.690
<v Speaker 2>mind it was like if I tell this guy I

0:14:29.730 --> 0:14:32.290
<v Speaker 2>love him, something's going to happen to take it away,

0:14:32.290 --> 0:14:35.810
<v Speaker 2>and I just didn't want it to end prematurely. I

0:14:35.930 --> 0:14:37.650
<v Speaker 2>tried to put it off as long as I could,

0:14:37.730 --> 0:14:40.650
<v Speaker 2>and Liam would then start saying, oh, don't you love me?

0:14:40.770 --> 0:14:44.170
<v Speaker 2>You don't say it, and it's kind of like, was

0:14:44.210 --> 0:14:46.490
<v Speaker 2>I forced into saying it? No, not really, because I

0:14:46.530 --> 0:14:48.170
<v Speaker 2>got to a point where I'm like, well, actually, no,

0:14:48.290 --> 0:14:50.930
<v Speaker 2>I think I do love this person. Because I was

0:14:50.970 --> 0:14:53.930
<v Speaker 2>always thinking about them that were sending gifts. I was like,

0:14:54.450 --> 0:14:58.410
<v Speaker 2>really felt like a part of his life.

0:14:58.610 --> 0:15:02.650
<v Speaker 1>Things were perfect, well almost, and after what seems like

0:15:02.730 --> 0:15:06.930
<v Speaker 1>an eternity, the inevitable finally happened. Liam was due home

0:15:06.970 --> 0:15:09.890
<v Speaker 1>from deployment. The timing couldn't have been better.

0:15:10.770 --> 0:15:12.370
<v Speaker 2>He was going to be home for my birthday, and

0:15:12.410 --> 0:15:14.450
<v Speaker 2>I thought, what more could I asks for in terms

0:15:14.490 --> 0:15:16.250
<v Speaker 2>of a birthday present? It was like I didn't care

0:15:16.570 --> 0:15:18.770
<v Speaker 2>what I got as long as it was him back.

0:15:18.850 --> 0:15:22.250
<v Speaker 2>And we spoke about whether he would go back to

0:15:22.250 --> 0:15:24.730
<v Speaker 2>Townsville and then come straight to Sydney, or would he

0:15:25.410 --> 0:15:28.970
<v Speaker 2>come straight in to Sydney, or would I fly back

0:15:29.050 --> 0:15:31.570
<v Speaker 2>up to Townsville. So we did talk about the dynamics

0:15:31.610 --> 0:15:34.250
<v Speaker 2>of how it would work, and we agreed that he

0:15:34.290 --> 0:15:37.410
<v Speaker 2>would go to Townsville to sort out affairs there first

0:15:37.490 --> 0:15:40.530
<v Speaker 2>and then organize a trip down to Sydney and sent

0:15:40.570 --> 0:15:42.570
<v Speaker 2>me his flight. Itinery of when he was going to

0:15:42.570 --> 0:15:44.330
<v Speaker 2>be at the airport, and I was like, great, I'll

0:15:44.450 --> 0:15:47.690
<v Speaker 2>come and meet you at the airport. On that particular day,

0:15:47.730 --> 0:15:50.050
<v Speaker 2>I got up and it was just not that I've

0:15:50.050 --> 0:15:52.130
<v Speaker 2>ever been married, but it was like giddy, like, oh,

0:15:52.210 --> 0:15:53.450
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm going to meet the love of my

0:15:53.490 --> 0:15:58.250
<v Speaker 2>life today and planning outfits and getting my hair done,

0:15:58.530 --> 0:16:03.370
<v Speaker 2>makeup done, all of that done, like facials, petticures, manicures like.

0:16:03.410 --> 0:16:05.530
<v Speaker 2>I went all out because I thought, well, when this

0:16:05.570 --> 0:16:07.610
<v Speaker 2>guy gets off this plane, I want to like knock

0:16:07.690 --> 0:16:10.810
<v Speaker 2>him dead. And then it was a matter of going

0:16:10.810 --> 0:16:13.610
<v Speaker 2>to the airport, sitting there and watching the plane land

0:16:13.730 --> 0:16:14.690
<v Speaker 2>and the plane take off.

0:16:15.770 --> 0:16:18.890
<v Speaker 1>Yep, you heard that right. Kylie was waiting at the airport.

0:16:19.050 --> 0:16:20.690
<v Speaker 1>But Liam never got off the plane.

0:16:23.170 --> 0:16:24.930
<v Speaker 2>First of all, it was did he get on the plane?

0:16:25.450 --> 0:16:28.090
<v Speaker 2>Have I missed him? Did something go wrong? And he's

0:16:28.130 --> 0:16:30.730
<v Speaker 2>not called me. I tried to call him because at

0:16:30.730 --> 0:16:32.210
<v Speaker 2>that point he had a phone too, and I had

0:16:32.210 --> 0:16:35.850
<v Speaker 2>the number. The phone was off and I was just like, okay, well,

0:16:35.930 --> 0:16:38.010
<v Speaker 2>maybe hasn't turned it back on yet. In the terminal,

0:16:38.490 --> 0:16:40.730
<v Speaker 2>I even went up to the counter and I said, look,

0:16:40.770 --> 0:16:42.490
<v Speaker 2>you know, was this person on the plane? And of

0:16:42.530 --> 0:16:45.090
<v Speaker 2>course they were always like, oh, we can't give out

0:16:45.090 --> 0:16:46.970
<v Speaker 2>that information, but we can tell you the flight left

0:16:46.970 --> 0:16:49.850
<v Speaker 2>Townsville and it has arrived. All people that were checked

0:16:49.850 --> 0:16:52.610
<v Speaker 2>in got off, and I was like, that doesn't really help.

0:16:53.050 --> 0:16:55.050
<v Speaker 2>So I sat at the airport just I think it

0:16:55.090 --> 0:16:57.930
<v Speaker 2>was for a good three hours, even after the flight landed,

0:16:58.050 --> 0:17:01.370
<v Speaker 2>going maybe he's just lost in the terminal or I've

0:17:01.410 --> 0:17:05.090
<v Speaker 2>missed him, And so I walked around trying to see

0:17:05.090 --> 0:17:08.330
<v Speaker 2>if I could find him. I was like sending texts,

0:17:08.490 --> 0:17:11.210
<v Speaker 2>probably like a maniac. He would have received about a

0:17:11.330 --> 0:17:13.730
<v Speaker 2>hundred text messages from me going where are you? And

0:17:14.290 --> 0:17:16.050
<v Speaker 2>I think then I found like a meeting point, and

0:17:16.090 --> 0:17:17.490
<v Speaker 2>I was like, well, I'll meet here, and so I

0:17:17.490 --> 0:17:20.850
<v Speaker 2>would say, oh, look, I'm standing at this, I'd take photos.

0:17:21.450 --> 0:17:25.090
<v Speaker 2>I just started getting really frantic, and I was like,

0:17:25.570 --> 0:17:28.050
<v Speaker 2>probably a hot mess or like a hot raccoon in

0:17:28.130 --> 0:17:30.450
<v Speaker 2>an airport, because no doubt Miss Garrel would have been

0:17:30.490 --> 0:17:34.410
<v Speaker 2>running down my face. But it was just that's when

0:17:34.450 --> 0:17:37.010
<v Speaker 2>I started to get like all the other questions of

0:17:37.050 --> 0:17:39.170
<v Speaker 2>like what's going on? Like have i been made to

0:17:39.210 --> 0:17:41.650
<v Speaker 2>look like a dickhead because I'm sitting at the airport

0:17:41.690 --> 0:17:45.330
<v Speaker 2>for so long? Like what's going on? I think I

0:17:45.370 --> 0:17:46.970
<v Speaker 2>didn't really want to let it go, so I was

0:17:47.010 --> 0:17:50.250
<v Speaker 2>hopeful that maybe it was like one of those romantic

0:17:50.290 --> 0:17:52.410
<v Speaker 2>movie cliches, that he was still in the airport and

0:17:52.450 --> 0:17:55.170
<v Speaker 2>I'd find him when everyone would gone, and I was like, no,

0:17:55.290 --> 0:17:57.650
<v Speaker 2>I kind of wake up, like he's he's not here.

0:17:57.770 --> 0:18:00.050
<v Speaker 2>So on the trip home again, it was trying to

0:18:00.090 --> 0:18:03.690
<v Speaker 2>analyze what had happened, like why didn't he show up again?

0:18:03.810 --> 0:18:08.090
<v Speaker 2>Trying to call them messages. It was like literally going

0:18:08.130 --> 0:18:11.090
<v Speaker 2>mannik as to like what's happened? Like what's going on?

0:18:11.730 --> 0:18:15.410
<v Speaker 2>Itinery like everything you know, and messages of him saying

0:18:15.410 --> 0:18:18.210
<v Speaker 2>I'm at the airport, we're boarding the plane, and I

0:18:18.250 --> 0:18:20.850
<v Speaker 2>was like, I think that fueled the excitement too, but

0:18:20.890 --> 0:18:23.210
<v Speaker 2>then to have that all crashed down, it was just

0:18:23.290 --> 0:18:26.530
<v Speaker 2>like gutted. I think it was pretty much just like

0:18:26.610 --> 0:18:29.210
<v Speaker 2>someone had ripped in, like reached in and just ripped

0:18:29.210 --> 0:18:30.930
<v Speaker 2>my heart right out of my chest and it was

0:18:31.010 --> 0:18:33.570
<v Speaker 2>just like okay, like does he not like me? And

0:18:33.570 --> 0:18:35.410
<v Speaker 2>he just didn't want to tell me? So is that

0:18:35.450 --> 0:18:37.730
<v Speaker 2>why he didn't get on the plane? Like it was

0:18:37.770 --> 0:18:45.250
<v Speaker 2>all just a mess, like I was a mess. It

0:18:45.290 --> 0:18:48.730
<v Speaker 2>brought back all the past of all the relationships I've

0:18:48.730 --> 0:18:50.610
<v Speaker 2>been in. It was just like, oh my god, here's

0:18:50.650 --> 0:18:52.290
<v Speaker 2>another one that just doesn't want to be with me.

0:18:53.090 --> 0:18:54.930
<v Speaker 2>Isn't man enough to tell me he doesn't want to

0:18:54.970 --> 0:18:57.410
<v Speaker 2>be with me? And then there was that exactly that

0:18:57.530 --> 0:18:59.690
<v Speaker 2>like Okay, I've said I love you to this guy

0:18:59.730 --> 0:19:01.930
<v Speaker 2>and did that scar him off? And so that was

0:19:02.010 --> 0:19:03.850
<v Speaker 2>kind of one of the other avenues I went down.

0:19:03.890 --> 0:19:07.010
<v Speaker 2>He's like, Okay, maybe this is life's way of saying, Nah,

0:19:07.090 --> 0:19:09.170
<v Speaker 2>you don't deserve this, so I'm taking it off you.

0:19:09.850 --> 0:19:12.530
<v Speaker 2>So I became really angry at life because it was

0:19:12.610 --> 0:19:14.810
<v Speaker 2>just like, you know, I tell someone I love them

0:19:14.850 --> 0:19:17.930
<v Speaker 2>and then they disappear. I'm like, so it kind of

0:19:18.130 --> 0:19:20.170
<v Speaker 2>put me back into an angry stage of like, I

0:19:20.330 --> 0:19:22.810
<v Speaker 2>just I don't want to date anymore. I was angry.

0:19:22.810 --> 0:19:24.850
<v Speaker 2>It was like, God, help if he messages me or

0:19:24.890 --> 0:19:27.170
<v Speaker 2>calls me, because I was going to rip him apart.

0:19:28.450 --> 0:19:31.730
<v Speaker 1>He did message her though, four days later.

0:19:32.210 --> 0:19:36.050
<v Speaker 2>And it was like a really sob story of a message.

0:19:36.730 --> 0:19:39.410
<v Speaker 2>It was more like, hey, babe, I'm so so sorry.

0:19:40.010 --> 0:19:43.170
<v Speaker 2>Something came up. I couldn't get there. And I was like, okay, well,

0:19:43.410 --> 0:19:45.730
<v Speaker 2>what was the something that was so important that you

0:19:45.730 --> 0:19:48.570
<v Speaker 2>would sacrifice an airfair, which, let's face it, they're not cheap,

0:19:48.850 --> 0:19:51.210
<v Speaker 2>and he was like, Oh, my daughter's really sick. She's

0:19:51.250 --> 0:19:55.370
<v Speaker 2>in hospital, she needs all this medication. I didn't know

0:19:55.410 --> 0:19:58.490
<v Speaker 2>what to do. I didn't think to call, and I

0:19:58.570 --> 0:20:00.450
<v Speaker 2>was like, well, shouldn't I have been at least the

0:20:00.450 --> 0:20:03.050
<v Speaker 2>first phone call to say, hey, you know, something's up

0:20:03.090 --> 0:20:05.410
<v Speaker 2>with my daughter. I can't make it, I said. I

0:20:05.450 --> 0:20:07.970
<v Speaker 2>would have been pretty understanding, I said, but to not

0:20:08.050 --> 0:20:10.850
<v Speaker 2>show up. I'm like, I'll keep it g rated. But

0:20:11.730 --> 0:20:16.490
<v Speaker 2>did let loose some really some really absolute crazy language,

0:20:16.530 --> 0:20:19.810
<v Speaker 2>because I was just absolutely pessed off to the max.

0:20:19.930 --> 0:20:22.250
<v Speaker 2>It was just like, I don't think you understood. Like

0:20:22.330 --> 0:20:25.730
<v Speaker 2>I sat at the airport for hours waiting for you,

0:20:25.810 --> 0:20:31.050
<v Speaker 2>looking like a fucking moron, crying, running around, frantic messaging

0:20:31.170 --> 0:20:33.490
<v Speaker 2>like a maniac, and you were never on the plane,

0:20:33.530 --> 0:20:36.050
<v Speaker 2>and you could have saved me that drama by at

0:20:36.130 --> 0:20:38.530
<v Speaker 2>least calling and saying, hey, something's come up, and I

0:20:38.530 --> 0:20:42.690
<v Speaker 2>would have understood. Well, I'm like, it's not really good enough.

0:20:42.730 --> 0:20:45.730
<v Speaker 2>Like I get that you're a father, but you've also

0:20:45.810 --> 0:20:48.130
<v Speaker 2>invested all this time into someone. I'm like, you couldn't

0:20:48.170 --> 0:20:51.610
<v Speaker 2>even give me the respect or the decency of saying, hey,

0:20:51.730 --> 0:20:55.090
<v Speaker 2>you know, something's come up. I think in his mindset too,

0:20:55.170 --> 0:20:57.330
<v Speaker 2>Like again he was all, oh, I'm so sorry, Like

0:20:57.410 --> 0:20:59.130
<v Speaker 2>I should have called. I should have you know, it

0:20:59.210 --> 0:21:01.010
<v Speaker 2>was all these I should have I should have done this,

0:21:01.090 --> 0:21:03.170
<v Speaker 2>I should have done that, and he just then kept

0:21:03.210 --> 0:21:05.770
<v Speaker 2>sending more gifts. So it was like, well, red roses

0:21:05.810 --> 0:21:07.370
<v Speaker 2>aren't going to cut it all the time that you

0:21:07.450 --> 0:21:11.330
<v Speaker 2>fuck up, like you can't fix problems with flowers or

0:21:11.370 --> 0:21:13.450
<v Speaker 2>gifts and stuff like that. So I was just like

0:21:13.970 --> 0:21:16.090
<v Speaker 2>to the point of even throwing them out or giving

0:21:16.130 --> 0:21:17.810
<v Speaker 2>them away to people because it was like I just

0:21:17.850 --> 0:21:20.290
<v Speaker 2>didn't want them. It was like, it's not the apology

0:21:20.330 --> 0:21:23.090
<v Speaker 2>I wanted. It's like I wanted a face to face apology,

0:21:23.650 --> 0:21:25.810
<v Speaker 2>like make it right and do the right thing and

0:21:25.970 --> 0:21:28.250
<v Speaker 2>come and see me like you said you would. So

0:21:28.330 --> 0:21:31.770
<v Speaker 2>it kind of it was our first fight, I guess, but.

0:21:31.850 --> 0:21:34.890
<v Speaker 1>She ended up forgiving him. She wouldn't forget, but he

0:21:35.090 --> 0:21:38.090
<v Speaker 1>was really sorry, and she wasn't selfish. She knew, of

0:21:38.130 --> 0:21:40.930
<v Speaker 1>course he had to put his child first. So after

0:21:41.010 --> 0:21:44.290
<v Speaker 1>she calmed down and he apologized about three hundred more times,

0:21:44.690 --> 0:21:47.650
<v Speaker 1>they agreed she would fly up to him in Townsville.

0:21:48.490 --> 0:21:51.890
<v Speaker 2>I looked at making plans into going up to Townsville

0:21:51.930 --> 0:21:54.490
<v Speaker 2>to see family for Christmas, and I thought I could

0:21:54.530 --> 0:21:56.690
<v Speaker 2>tie it in with a trip to him, And when

0:21:56.730 --> 0:21:58.890
<v Speaker 2>I told him, he was over the moon, much like

0:21:58.970 --> 0:22:00.930
<v Speaker 2>I was when he said that he was going to

0:22:00.930 --> 0:22:03.090
<v Speaker 2>be coming to Sydney. He was all like, oh, that

0:22:03.130 --> 0:22:05.290
<v Speaker 2>would be amazing, Like I can't wait to see you.

0:22:05.690 --> 0:22:09.010
<v Speaker 2>Like we could do some amazing things in Townsville. Well

0:22:09.050 --> 0:22:10.970
<v Speaker 2>I know Townsville. Well, so yeah, I could show you

0:22:11.010 --> 0:22:14.010
<v Speaker 2>my old favor spots and all that kind of stuff.

0:22:14.010 --> 0:22:16.010
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, yep, no, that's cool. And I said,

0:22:16.050 --> 0:22:19.050
<v Speaker 2>well we could even consider because the troop in between

0:22:19.130 --> 0:22:22.330
<v Speaker 2>Townsville and North Queensland, where my family's from, it was

0:22:22.330 --> 0:22:24.210
<v Speaker 2>only about five hours. So I'm like, we could even

0:22:24.210 --> 0:22:26.570
<v Speaker 2>do a road trip together, so I can fly into

0:22:26.610 --> 0:22:29.130
<v Speaker 2>Townsville and then we can go up and see them.

0:22:29.250 --> 0:22:30.930
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, because, let's face it, road trips are a

0:22:30.930 --> 0:22:33.650
<v Speaker 2>great way to spend time with people with bad dad

0:22:33.730 --> 0:22:36.050
<v Speaker 2>jokes and all that kind of stuff that I pull out,

0:22:36.170 --> 0:22:39.170
<v Speaker 2>so all the crazy stuff, and he was all for it.

0:22:39.250 --> 0:22:41.490
<v Speaker 2>He was like, yep, great. So then we started looking

0:22:41.530 --> 0:22:44.690
<v Speaker 2>at dates and all that stuff, and I looked at

0:22:44.730 --> 0:22:46.650
<v Speaker 2>schedule and that I think the first thing I did

0:22:46.730 --> 0:22:48.210
<v Speaker 2>when I went to work the next day was like

0:22:48.450 --> 0:22:50.370
<v Speaker 2>put in for annual leave and I said, all right, great,

0:22:50.410 --> 0:22:52.570
<v Speaker 2>I want I think it was four weeks off, so

0:22:52.730 --> 0:22:55.970
<v Speaker 2>taking Christmas through to the New year period off to

0:22:56.050 --> 0:22:59.170
<v Speaker 2>go back home basically, and so then from there we

0:22:59.210 --> 0:23:01.290
<v Speaker 2>just started talking about all the things that we would

0:23:01.330 --> 0:23:04.570
<v Speaker 2>do and the countdown. So it was kind of somewhat

0:23:04.610 --> 0:23:07.810
<v Speaker 2>he was kind of forgiven for the whole airport thing

0:23:07.850 --> 0:23:09.650
<v Speaker 2>because I'm like, oh, look, just let it go. Otherwise

0:23:09.650 --> 0:23:11.810
<v Speaker 2>you're going to be angry for your whole life. You'll

0:23:11.850 --> 0:23:15.130
<v Speaker 2>probably wreck this. And relationships they all fight, and that

0:23:15.250 --> 0:23:17.930
<v Speaker 2>was our first fight. So it was like, as a couple,

0:23:18.050 --> 0:23:21.370
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna have fights, regardless if it's online or in person.

0:23:21.890 --> 0:23:27.090
<v Speaker 1>Then the day arrived, he asked.

0:23:26.810 --> 0:23:28.930
<v Speaker 2>If I wanted to be picked up from the airport,

0:23:28.930 --> 0:23:30.450
<v Speaker 2>and I said, no, Look that's okay. I'll get a

0:23:30.450 --> 0:23:32.570
<v Speaker 2>rental car because if we're going to drive up to

0:23:33.210 --> 0:23:35.570
<v Speaker 2>Cannes and Mariba and all that kind of area, I'm like,

0:23:35.610 --> 0:23:37.010
<v Speaker 2>we're going to need a car. So I was like,

0:23:37.050 --> 0:23:39.210
<v Speaker 2>I'll get a rental car. I'm like, I'll just grab

0:23:39.250 --> 0:23:41.130
<v Speaker 2>your address and i'll come meet you. I said, this

0:23:41.250 --> 0:23:43.570
<v Speaker 2>is my flight details. I'm like, by the time I

0:23:43.610 --> 0:23:46.450
<v Speaker 2>get out of the airport, get the car, get to

0:23:46.530 --> 0:23:48.970
<v Speaker 2>your plate. So it would have been mid morning that

0:23:49.050 --> 0:23:51.810
<v Speaker 2>I would have gotten up there. When I got there,

0:23:51.930 --> 0:23:54.330
<v Speaker 2>I called and I said, oh, I'm like just off

0:23:54.330 --> 0:23:56.330
<v Speaker 2>the plane. Now, I'm just going to go pick up

0:23:56.330 --> 0:23:58.530
<v Speaker 2>the car and I'll be at yours within about twenty

0:23:58.610 --> 0:24:02.810
<v Speaker 2>twenty five minutes. And he was all excited and everything,

0:24:02.850 --> 0:24:05.090
<v Speaker 2>and I was like remember sitting in the car, going,

0:24:05.090 --> 0:24:07.290
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, like, now we're actually going to meet

0:24:07.330 --> 0:24:09.610
<v Speaker 2>and he can't run because I'm going to be at

0:24:09.650 --> 0:24:12.410
<v Speaker 2>his house. I'm like, what's the worst thing that can happen.

0:24:12.490 --> 0:24:14.250
<v Speaker 2>Maybe he'll open up the door and slam it in

0:24:14.290 --> 0:24:17.570
<v Speaker 2>my face, or like all of those scenarios were going

0:24:17.610 --> 0:24:19.810
<v Speaker 2>through my head of like, Okay, now we're going to meet.

0:24:19.890 --> 0:24:22.330
<v Speaker 2>It's like what will I do when I first see him?

0:24:22.330 --> 0:24:23.530
<v Speaker 2>Am I going to kiss him? Am I going to

0:24:23.610 --> 0:24:25.210
<v Speaker 2>hug him? Am I going to slap him? Am I

0:24:25.250 --> 0:24:27.170
<v Speaker 2>going to punch him for all the bad stuff? Am

0:24:27.210 --> 0:24:29.410
<v Speaker 2>I going to let it all out? Or is it

0:24:29.450 --> 0:24:31.410
<v Speaker 2>just going to be crazy town? Slam the door and

0:24:31.490 --> 0:24:34.050
<v Speaker 2>off we go into the bedroom for a few hours.

0:24:34.810 --> 0:24:36.850
<v Speaker 2>So all of that was going through my head while

0:24:36.850 --> 0:24:38.970
<v Speaker 2>I was driving, and I remember even when I pulled

0:24:39.010 --> 0:24:42.410
<v Speaker 2>up out the front of the place, I was just like, oh, oh,

0:24:42.490 --> 0:24:45.570
<v Speaker 2>I get it together. Like I was just giddy. It

0:24:45.610 --> 0:24:49.250
<v Speaker 2>was like again that feeling of your first ever relationship

0:24:49.370 --> 0:24:51.610
<v Speaker 2>and you're just like, oh, you know, I'm about to

0:24:51.610 --> 0:24:54.170
<v Speaker 2>meet this man that I've like given so much of

0:24:54.210 --> 0:24:56.970
<v Speaker 2>my time too, and like a large piece of me

0:24:57.090 --> 0:25:00.090
<v Speaker 2>being my heart. And I remember walking up the footpath

0:25:00.130 --> 0:25:01.690
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, oh, is this what it's like when

0:25:01.770 --> 0:25:03.690
<v Speaker 2>guys are walking up to pick you up for your

0:25:03.730 --> 0:25:06.290
<v Speaker 2>first date? And I'm like, it's normally the other way around,

0:25:06.290 --> 0:25:10.250
<v Speaker 2>but I'm not traditional with something. So I remember knocking

0:25:10.290 --> 0:25:13.250
<v Speaker 2>on the door and again, like my tonsils, I was

0:25:13.290 --> 0:25:15.930
<v Speaker 2>constantly swallowing, like with nerves, and I'm like, get it

0:25:16.010 --> 0:25:19.810
<v Speaker 2>to keeviy more on, like you know, you're in your thirties,

0:25:19.850 --> 0:25:21.570
<v Speaker 2>like you should have this shit all down back.

0:25:22.210 --> 0:25:25.570
<v Speaker 1>The moment was here, So knocked on the.

0:25:25.530 --> 0:25:29.770
<v Speaker 2>Door and constantly swallowing through nerves, and then the door opened,

0:25:29.970 --> 0:25:33.450
<v Speaker 2>and I remember all that excitement just turning to shock

0:25:33.570 --> 0:25:35.850
<v Speaker 2>because it was an old lady standing at the door.

0:25:41.250 --> 0:25:44.690
<v Speaker 2>So I was just frozen, like I couldn't even move

0:25:44.930 --> 0:25:50.050
<v Speaker 2>my hands, my feet, couldn't talk. I was just literally gobsmacked.

0:25:50.130 --> 0:25:53.170
<v Speaker 2>And this lovely little old lady is come. You're a

0:25:53.250 --> 0:25:55.930
<v Speaker 2>right deer, like are you okay? Like what can I

0:25:55.930 --> 0:25:58.130
<v Speaker 2>help you with? Like are you here to sell something?

0:25:58.250 --> 0:26:00.370
<v Speaker 2>And I was just like at that point, I just

0:26:00.450 --> 0:26:03.850
<v Speaker 2>started crying, like I broke down on this lady's doorstep

0:26:03.890 --> 0:26:06.090
<v Speaker 2>and I'm thinking, oh my god, like I look like

0:26:06.490 --> 0:26:09.090
<v Speaker 2>the biggest fall. And then eventually I got the courriage

0:26:09.170 --> 0:26:11.970
<v Speaker 2>up and I was like, I'm looking for Liam and

0:26:12.010 --> 0:26:15.250
<v Speaker 2>she was like who, I said, Liam? I'm like, is

0:26:15.250 --> 0:26:19.090
<v Speaker 2>that maybe your grandson? Or am I any relation? She's like,

0:26:19.530 --> 0:26:23.890
<v Speaker 2>oh no, like I don't know. Liam doesn't live here.

0:26:24.570 --> 0:26:27.010
<v Speaker 2>And I was just like not at all, Like how

0:26:27.050 --> 0:26:29.330
<v Speaker 2>long have you lived in this house? Like did you

0:26:29.370 --> 0:26:32.490
<v Speaker 2>recently move in? Have I got the right address? So

0:26:32.570 --> 0:26:36.330
<v Speaker 2>I started just going frantic again with all these questions

0:26:36.370 --> 0:26:39.250
<v Speaker 2>and firing them at this poor little old lady, And

0:26:39.530 --> 0:26:41.730
<v Speaker 2>it was just like trying to understand in my head

0:26:41.770 --> 0:26:44.450
<v Speaker 2>when all along, all I'm telling myself is like what

0:26:44.490 --> 0:26:48.370
<v Speaker 2>the fuck? Every time I'm asking questions, but my brain's

0:26:48.450 --> 0:26:52.010
<v Speaker 2>like what the fuck? Jumped in the car and I

0:26:52.090 --> 0:26:55.130
<v Speaker 2>drove up to see my family and I didn't even

0:26:55.650 --> 0:26:58.930
<v Speaker 2>mention anything, like I just bottled it up, because again,

0:26:59.050 --> 0:27:02.010
<v Speaker 2>the point that online dating at that point was something

0:27:02.130 --> 0:27:05.210
<v Speaker 2>that people didn't really talk about or it was seen

0:27:05.210 --> 0:27:08.210
<v Speaker 2>as like the weird way of meeting people. It was like,

0:27:08.690 --> 0:27:10.610
<v Speaker 2>I don't want my family to know that I've been

0:27:10.730 --> 0:27:13.170
<v Speaker 2>like that. I'm I met this person online and I

0:27:13.210 --> 0:27:15.610
<v Speaker 2>don't want them to know that I'm going through this

0:27:15.690 --> 0:27:17.850
<v Speaker 2>kind of trauma. Like Christmas is meant to be happy.

0:27:18.370 --> 0:27:22.250
<v Speaker 2>I hadn't been back home for Christmas in quite some time,

0:27:22.330 --> 0:27:24.010
<v Speaker 2>so it was a while that i'd been home, so

0:27:24.050 --> 0:27:26.610
<v Speaker 2>it was like, I just want to enjoy it, enjoy

0:27:26.650 --> 0:27:29.290
<v Speaker 2>the time with family, friends, And I was just like,

0:27:29.370 --> 0:27:31.530
<v Speaker 2>I'll deal with all the other crap on my own.

0:27:31.570 --> 0:27:33.890
<v Speaker 2>Like I didn't even tell my best friend and we

0:27:34.090 --> 0:27:36.490
<v Speaker 2>have known each other since high school, and the people

0:27:36.530 --> 0:27:39.490
<v Speaker 2>closest to me, I just didn't even tell a soul,

0:27:39.610 --> 0:27:42.730
<v Speaker 2>Like I lived through the whole thing on my own

0:27:42.770 --> 0:27:45.890
<v Speaker 2>and just bottled it up. And anytime people would ask

0:27:45.930 --> 0:27:48.410
<v Speaker 2>about Liam, I was just like, oh no, he's still overseas.

0:27:48.450 --> 0:27:51.210
<v Speaker 2>So I was lying to my inner circle because I

0:27:51.250 --> 0:27:53.370
<v Speaker 2>didn't want to look like the dickhead that I felt

0:27:53.410 --> 0:27:58.570
<v Speaker 2>like I was. I became very, very angry, like I

0:27:58.730 --> 0:28:01.290
<v Speaker 2>was no longer the sweet and innocent person or the

0:28:01.290 --> 0:28:03.850
<v Speaker 2>sweet person that I can be. I just like ripped

0:28:03.850 --> 0:28:06.410
<v Speaker 2>all that off, and I was just going mental. I

0:28:06.530 --> 0:28:09.690
<v Speaker 2>was like constantly calling and the phone wasn't answering, so

0:28:09.730 --> 0:28:12.050
<v Speaker 2>he wasn't even picking up the phone like had kind

0:28:12.050 --> 0:28:14.250
<v Speaker 2>of in a sense cut communication with me for a bit,

0:28:14.810 --> 0:28:16.690
<v Speaker 2>and then I was just like what the hell. So

0:28:16.730 --> 0:28:20.650
<v Speaker 2>I'd be messaging constantly again, like just really throwing a

0:28:20.730 --> 0:28:23.050
<v Speaker 2>tirade of abuse at him, and I got to a

0:28:23.050 --> 0:28:24.610
<v Speaker 2>point that I'm like, you know, I'm not going to

0:28:24.690 --> 0:28:26.890
<v Speaker 2>let this interrupt the time with my family. I'll have

0:28:27.530 --> 0:28:30.050
<v Speaker 2>my time and then I'll deal with that crap when

0:28:30.050 --> 0:28:31.090
<v Speaker 2>I get back to Sydney.

0:28:32.410 --> 0:28:35.570
<v Speaker 1>The whole time Kylie was in Townsville for three weeks,

0:28:36.010 --> 0:28:37.770
<v Speaker 1>she didn't hear a word from him.

0:28:38.170 --> 0:28:40.250
<v Speaker 2>That's all I wanted to know, was like the what

0:28:40.730 --> 0:28:44.290
<v Speaker 2>why aren't you meeting me? And then, surprisingly enough, I

0:28:44.370 --> 0:28:46.930
<v Speaker 2>think it was about three and a half weeks and

0:28:46.970 --> 0:28:49.570
<v Speaker 2>another package arrives and it was a whole big sub

0:28:49.610 --> 0:28:52.610
<v Speaker 2>story of oh, I'm sorry, and it was like cute

0:28:52.610 --> 0:28:55.450
<v Speaker 2>little teddy bears and like just trying to buy me back,

0:28:55.490 --> 0:28:58.090
<v Speaker 2>and it was just like I was just aggressive and

0:28:58.170 --> 0:29:00.450
<v Speaker 2>it was just like what was the excuse this time?

0:29:00.490 --> 0:29:02.570
<v Speaker 2>And again it was his daughter and it was like

0:29:02.810 --> 0:29:05.330
<v Speaker 2>you kind of can't keep using your kid as an excuse.

0:29:06.050 --> 0:29:08.530
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I went to your address and I was like,

0:29:08.570 --> 0:29:10.610
<v Speaker 2>what the fuck? You gave me some old ladies address

0:29:10.650 --> 0:29:13.410
<v Speaker 2>and he was like, oh, that's my grandma's house. I'm like, well,

0:29:13.410 --> 0:29:16.370
<v Speaker 2>your grandma doesn't even remember you, because she was like, no,

0:29:16.490 --> 0:29:18.930
<v Speaker 2>Liam lives there. And he was like, oh, well she

0:29:18.970 --> 0:29:21.490
<v Speaker 2>suffers dementia and all that. I said, no, demensia patients

0:29:21.530 --> 0:29:24.330
<v Speaker 2>that bad. Like he was just trying to backtrack and

0:29:24.370 --> 0:29:26.410
<v Speaker 2>it was just like Noah, like you're being caught out.

0:29:26.450 --> 0:29:28.530
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, it's not in nana's house. I'm like, who's

0:29:28.530 --> 0:29:30.850
<v Speaker 2>our dress did you give me? And he was like, oh,

0:29:30.890 --> 0:29:32.810
<v Speaker 2>it was a mate's mom's house. And I said, well,

0:29:33.090 --> 0:29:35.570
<v Speaker 2>why would you send me to the wrong address. I'm like,

0:29:35.610 --> 0:29:38.170
<v Speaker 2>do you even live in that part of town? When

0:29:38.170 --> 0:29:40.730
<v Speaker 2>he was like no, I don't. And I was like okay,

0:29:40.770 --> 0:29:43.050
<v Speaker 2>I'm like so again, why would you give me a

0:29:43.050 --> 0:29:46.170
<v Speaker 2>wrong address? And he was I got nervous. I didn't

0:29:46.170 --> 0:29:49.010
<v Speaker 2>know what you would think of me. I was scared.

0:29:49.090 --> 0:29:50.570
<v Speaker 2>I was like, well, if you were scared, we could

0:29:50.570 --> 0:29:53.050
<v Speaker 2>have met in a public place. I'm like that would

0:29:53.050 --> 0:29:55.330
<v Speaker 2>have been probably more safer for both of us, Like,

0:29:55.490 --> 0:29:57.530
<v Speaker 2>there's plenty of places we could have met on the beach,

0:29:57.610 --> 0:29:59.490
<v Speaker 2>could have met in the mall, could have met at

0:29:59.490 --> 0:30:02.170
<v Speaker 2>the picture theater, Like, there's so many different places we

0:30:02.210 --> 0:30:06.250
<v Speaker 2>could have met. That's not good enough. I said, until

0:30:06.410 --> 0:30:08.370
<v Speaker 2>you tell me the truth. And I said, nothing but

0:30:08.490 --> 0:30:10.370
<v Speaker 2>the truth. I'm like, I don't even really want to

0:30:10.370 --> 0:30:12.530
<v Speaker 2>hear from you because I was just so angry, and

0:30:12.890 --> 0:30:14.770
<v Speaker 2>he just kept sending gifts and it was like, no,

0:30:15.050 --> 0:30:19.090
<v Speaker 2>you can't keep buying people with gifts. I'm like, it's okay, great,

0:30:19.130 --> 0:30:21.810
<v Speaker 2>you've got money, but that's good. I'm like, obviously you

0:30:21.850 --> 0:30:24.370
<v Speaker 2>need to be spending it elsewhere. Because at that point,

0:30:24.410 --> 0:30:27.410
<v Speaker 2>I'd had enough, like I wanted out. There were lots

0:30:27.410 --> 0:30:29.690
<v Speaker 2>of things that were going through my mind. I was like,

0:30:29.890 --> 0:30:32.650
<v Speaker 2>h is he actually even in Australia was one of

0:30:32.690 --> 0:30:35.250
<v Speaker 2>the big ones. I was like, Okay, was he actually

0:30:35.290 --> 0:30:35.930
<v Speaker 2>even in towns?

0:30:35.970 --> 0:30:36.130
<v Speaker 1>Well?

0:30:36.250 --> 0:30:39.290
<v Speaker 2>Is he actually even in my country? I think at

0:30:39.290 --> 0:30:42.210
<v Speaker 2>that point it was like other photos actually him? Or

0:30:42.250 --> 0:30:46.170
<v Speaker 2>are they someone else? Like what could possibly go wrong

0:30:46.250 --> 0:30:47.890
<v Speaker 2>for him not to want to meet me? And then

0:30:48.210 --> 0:30:50.810
<v Speaker 2>I even started to flip it back on myself. I

0:30:50.850 --> 0:30:53.490
<v Speaker 2>was like, what's wrong with me, Like, why doesn't he

0:30:53.530 --> 0:30:55.610
<v Speaker 2>want to meet me? Like? Am I not pretty? Am

0:30:55.610 --> 0:30:58.290
<v Speaker 2>I not? Like? What was it about me that he

0:30:58.370 --> 0:31:02.170
<v Speaker 2>maybe didn't like? So I started to really break myself

0:31:02.210 --> 0:31:04.090
<v Speaker 2>down in trying to think that maybe it was me,

0:31:04.850 --> 0:31:07.330
<v Speaker 2>rather than looking at it and going, well, he's the

0:31:07.330 --> 0:31:09.330
<v Speaker 2>one with you issue, Like I put myself out there

0:31:09.370 --> 0:31:12.850
<v Speaker 2>and I just felt like it wasn't being reciprocated to

0:31:12.930 --> 0:31:15.610
<v Speaker 2>the level I deserve and expect it.

0:31:16.450 --> 0:31:19.570
<v Speaker 1>So she cut him off. She ignored his calls and messages.

0:31:19.850 --> 0:31:23.490
<v Speaker 1>She knew she deserved better. But then after a few weeks,

0:31:23.770 --> 0:31:25.370
<v Speaker 1>she started to feel really lonely.

0:31:26.410 --> 0:31:28.090
<v Speaker 2>I started to miss him, and I was like, I

0:31:28.130 --> 0:31:30.730
<v Speaker 2>missed having those initial chats, Like I would go back

0:31:31.050 --> 0:31:33.850
<v Speaker 2>and read all of our initial messages because I'd screenshot

0:31:33.850 --> 0:31:36.130
<v Speaker 2>at them and saved them because it was like when

0:31:36.130 --> 0:31:38.450
<v Speaker 2>I was having a shitty day, I'd read back over them.

0:31:38.490 --> 0:31:40.650
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, you know, someone thinks the world of me.

0:31:40.770 --> 0:31:43.010
<v Speaker 2>So I would go back and I'd be like, well,

0:31:43.050 --> 0:31:45.210
<v Speaker 2>I want to find that relationship again, And I'm like,

0:31:45.530 --> 0:31:47.250
<v Speaker 2>I just don't want to go through the hassle of

0:31:47.730 --> 0:31:51.730
<v Speaker 2>having to troll through profiles and go through the whole hime,

0:31:51.890 --> 0:31:54.570
<v Speaker 2>my name is this again, and the old first aids

0:31:54.610 --> 0:31:56.850
<v Speaker 2>and stuff like that. I was just like, well, and

0:31:56.930 --> 0:31:59.450
<v Speaker 2>I was so invested in him. I'm like I actually

0:31:59.530 --> 0:32:01.930
<v Speaker 2>missed him. So I reached out and I was like, oh, sorry,

0:32:01.970 --> 0:32:03.650
<v Speaker 2>I was a bit of a dick, but can you

0:32:03.770 --> 0:32:07.170
<v Speaker 2>understand why I was angry? And like instantly I got

0:32:07.210 --> 0:32:10.530
<v Speaker 2>a message back, and then that's when we started talking again,

0:32:10.610 --> 0:32:13.130
<v Speaker 2>and I was just like, you know, don't ever do

0:32:13.170 --> 0:32:16.250
<v Speaker 2>that again. Like I'm a forgiving person. I'm willing to

0:32:16.290 --> 0:32:19.050
<v Speaker 2>give you another chance, but you just can't be doing

0:32:19.050 --> 0:32:20.650
<v Speaker 2>that stuff, like you need to be honest with me.

0:32:20.770 --> 0:32:25.490
<v Speaker 2>I reminded him of the past relationships and how badly

0:32:25.810 --> 0:32:27.890
<v Speaker 2>I'd been hurt, and I just didn't want to go

0:32:28.010 --> 0:32:30.410
<v Speaker 2>through that, like I wanted people to be honest with me.

0:32:30.490 --> 0:32:32.250
<v Speaker 2>And I said to him at that point, like if

0:32:32.290 --> 0:32:35.090
<v Speaker 2>you can't be honest moving forward, then let's not move forward.

0:32:35.170 --> 0:32:36.930
<v Speaker 2>Let's just cut it. And he was like no, no, no,

0:32:37.450 --> 0:32:41.290
<v Speaker 2>I'm really sincerely sorry. I'll do better. I'll be better,

0:32:41.450 --> 0:32:43.810
<v Speaker 2>and I was like okay, fine, and so yeah, I

0:32:43.850 --> 0:32:46.370
<v Speaker 2>was like all right, let's give it another go. And

0:32:46.410 --> 0:32:49.650
<v Speaker 2>then next thing we know, he's being deployed again. It

0:32:49.650 --> 0:32:54.090
<v Speaker 2>would have been the January of twenty twelve, and he

0:32:54.250 --> 0:32:56.370
<v Speaker 2>was going back pretty much at the end of that month,

0:32:56.450 --> 0:32:59.570
<v Speaker 2>so we didn't have much time in a sense. So

0:32:59.610 --> 0:33:02.330
<v Speaker 2>it was just again we went back to the chatting.

0:33:02.610 --> 0:33:05.290
<v Speaker 2>The gifts kept coming, and it was just like, all right,

0:33:05.330 --> 0:33:07.530
<v Speaker 2>well it's back on track, Like that kind of giddy

0:33:07.530 --> 0:33:10.170
<v Speaker 2>feeling was starting to come back, and of course the

0:33:10.490 --> 0:33:14.370
<v Speaker 2>feeling of concern deployment. It's the words that no one

0:33:14.490 --> 0:33:18.410
<v Speaker 2>in any sort of military family or connection wants to hear,

0:33:18.490 --> 0:33:20.810
<v Speaker 2>because you just think the worst and then you try

0:33:20.850 --> 0:33:23.130
<v Speaker 2>and find out where they're going. And when I heard

0:33:23.170 --> 0:33:25.330
<v Speaker 2>it was back to Afghanistan, I was like, oh, here

0:33:25.330 --> 0:33:28.170
<v Speaker 2>we go, Like that's when that wall came back up again,

0:33:28.210 --> 0:33:30.050
<v Speaker 2>of like oh my god, Like I'm like, you're going

0:33:30.130 --> 0:33:32.770
<v Speaker 2>to be on patrol, like watch out for landmines, like

0:33:32.930 --> 0:33:35.290
<v Speaker 2>keep looking at the ground, don't look up. Like it

0:33:35.410 --> 0:33:37.810
<v Speaker 2>was just all that trauma coming through and it was

0:33:37.850 --> 0:33:40.290
<v Speaker 2>like I even resorted to asking him if there was

0:33:40.330 --> 0:33:41.970
<v Speaker 2>any way he could get out of it, and he

0:33:42.090 --> 0:33:44.330
<v Speaker 2>was like, no, it's like it's my job back when

0:33:44.330 --> 0:33:47.010
<v Speaker 2>we're deployed, we have to go. And I was like, well,

0:33:47.130 --> 0:33:49.050
<v Speaker 2>surely there's something you can do. Like I used to

0:33:49.130 --> 0:33:51.930
<v Speaker 2>joke around about breaking his arms so he couldn't go,

0:33:52.530 --> 0:33:54.250
<v Speaker 2>and he was like, no, when we get the call up,

0:33:54.290 --> 0:33:54.930
<v Speaker 2>we have to go.

0:33:55.610 --> 0:33:58.450
<v Speaker 1>So he did. They'd now been together over a year

0:33:58.610 --> 0:34:01.250
<v Speaker 1>and still hadn't met, and now they wouldn't be able

0:34:01.290 --> 0:34:04.610
<v Speaker 1>to for another six months at least. But Kylie was

0:34:04.650 --> 0:34:07.810
<v Speaker 1>determined this was her guy. She could wait.

0:34:08.890 --> 0:34:11.490
<v Speaker 2>And that's kind of where it all went downhill. From there.

0:34:13.610 --> 0:34:15.930
<v Speaker 2>It was again just all the excuses with not going

0:34:15.970 --> 0:34:19.930
<v Speaker 2>on camera, and then I started recognizing in the calls

0:34:20.010 --> 0:34:22.770
<v Speaker 2>the voices were starting to change, and I was like,

0:34:22.890 --> 0:34:25.930
<v Speaker 2>this does not sound like Liam anymore. It sounds like

0:34:25.970 --> 0:34:29.090
<v Speaker 2>I've got someone completely different on the other end of

0:34:29.090 --> 0:34:32.450
<v Speaker 2>the phone. Then I'd start hearing noises, I'd start hearing

0:34:32.490 --> 0:34:35.890
<v Speaker 2>people in the background, and I'm like, okay, Like, if

0:34:35.890 --> 0:34:40.570
<v Speaker 2>you're deployed and you're in the communications tents, I know

0:34:40.610 --> 0:34:43.570
<v Speaker 2>how noisy they can be, but there's no females in there,

0:34:43.930 --> 0:34:46.770
<v Speaker 2>like you're in a male unit. And it was just

0:34:47.410 --> 0:34:49.730
<v Speaker 2>the times that the calls were coming through as well

0:34:49.930 --> 0:34:53.250
<v Speaker 2>seem to be odd, and even some of the numbers

0:34:53.290 --> 0:34:55.610
<v Speaker 2>that were coming through. It wasn't always the same number,

0:34:56.090 --> 0:34:58.530
<v Speaker 2>and I was just like, all right, something is just

0:34:58.690 --> 0:35:00.930
<v Speaker 2>going on. I'm like, I don't know what the hell,

0:35:01.050 --> 0:35:03.570
<v Speaker 2>but it's just all weird. And then it was like

0:35:03.810 --> 0:35:07.050
<v Speaker 2>other people were getting on Skype and I was just

0:35:07.090 --> 0:35:09.490
<v Speaker 2>like I called him out, don't know. I was like, hey,

0:35:09.490 --> 0:35:11.650
<v Speaker 2>what's going on. I'm like, you don't sound the same,

0:35:12.130 --> 0:35:14.250
<v Speaker 2>and he would just get aggressive. He was like, you

0:35:14.330 --> 0:35:17.130
<v Speaker 2>know what, I sound like. We've been speaking for so long.

0:35:17.170 --> 0:35:19.130
<v Speaker 2>Why would you question that I would be anyone? But

0:35:19.170 --> 0:35:22.010
<v Speaker 2>I'm not. And any time I bought up any kind

0:35:22.010 --> 0:35:25.530
<v Speaker 2>of questions of questioning who he was his character, I

0:35:25.690 --> 0:35:29.530
<v Speaker 2>was just met with aggression. From there, we sort of

0:35:29.890 --> 0:35:32.490
<v Speaker 2>it would be very rocky, like we would talk and

0:35:32.530 --> 0:35:35.370
<v Speaker 2>then not talk, and then I was just again because

0:35:35.410 --> 0:35:38.690
<v Speaker 2>I was so invested and thought that I'd actually given

0:35:38.730 --> 0:35:40.690
<v Speaker 2>this person my heart, I was like, ah, benefit of

0:35:40.770 --> 0:35:44.370
<v Speaker 2>the doubt, naive me just kept going and it was like, oh, well,

0:35:44.410 --> 0:35:46.690
<v Speaker 2>we'll get past it. We got through one deployment, we'll

0:35:46.690 --> 0:35:49.290
<v Speaker 2>get through another. But again, there were times that we

0:35:49.330 --> 0:35:52.130
<v Speaker 2>would talk, then we wouldn't talk, then we would talk

0:35:52.490 --> 0:35:56.050
<v Speaker 2>and wouldn't Gifts would still arrive, and again, like there

0:35:56.090 --> 0:35:58.050
<v Speaker 2>were times it would go back to like it was

0:35:58.090 --> 0:35:59.970
<v Speaker 2>when we first started talking. It was all like the

0:36:00.010 --> 0:36:02.810
<v Speaker 2>flirty chats, and I was like, okay, well this is

0:36:02.890 --> 0:36:05.410
<v Speaker 2>the person I've got. And so that went on for

0:36:06.650 --> 0:36:10.170
<v Speaker 2>another good part of a year because he was constantly deployed,

0:36:10.210 --> 0:36:12.090
<v Speaker 2>so he'd come back and he'd be back briefly and

0:36:12.090 --> 0:36:15.090
<v Speaker 2>then sent back again. So it was about another year

0:36:15.210 --> 0:36:18.130
<v Speaker 2>that it was pretty much rocky like that. So at

0:36:18.130 --> 0:36:21.450
<v Speaker 2>that point I was also starting to go, well, is

0:36:21.490 --> 0:36:23.730
<v Speaker 2>this a relationship I really want to be in. I

0:36:23.770 --> 0:36:26.170
<v Speaker 2>was like, I've put so much time and effort and

0:36:26.690 --> 0:36:29.330
<v Speaker 2>to a degree money into it. I was just like,

0:36:30.210 --> 0:36:32.410
<v Speaker 2>this isn't the kind of relationship that I want. It's

0:36:32.410 --> 0:36:34.810
<v Speaker 2>not the one I deserve. Like I looked at who

0:36:34.850 --> 0:36:36.770
<v Speaker 2>I was in the mirror and it was just like,

0:36:37.170 --> 0:36:39.090
<v Speaker 2>how are you? Like I thought I had a really

0:36:39.090 --> 0:36:41.650
<v Speaker 2>good grip on the kind of person I was because

0:36:41.650 --> 0:36:44.010
<v Speaker 2>I had such a great job, great friends, and it

0:36:44.090 --> 0:36:46.930
<v Speaker 2>was like, yeah, okay, I was missing a special someone.

0:36:46.970 --> 0:36:49.530
<v Speaker 2>But I was like, am I defined by having a

0:36:49.570 --> 0:36:52.330
<v Speaker 2>relationship in my life? And it was just like nah,

0:36:52.570 --> 0:36:54.450
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, you know, this isn't serving me.

0:36:55.050 --> 0:36:57.490
<v Speaker 1>So she ended it. She told him over the phone.

0:36:57.570 --> 0:37:00.010
<v Speaker 1>She couldn't keep her life on hold like this anymore.

0:37:00.690 --> 0:37:03.730
<v Speaker 1>But guess what. That very day, he'd been planning to

0:37:03.770 --> 0:37:05.890
<v Speaker 1>call her with some big news.

0:37:06.490 --> 0:37:09.530
<v Speaker 2>When I finished this tour, I'm actually leaving the army

0:37:09.570 --> 0:37:12.210
<v Speaker 2>for good, Like I get my discharged and then you know,

0:37:12.290 --> 0:37:15.330
<v Speaker 2>we can do whatever we want. And but I'm going

0:37:15.370 --> 0:37:19.170
<v Speaker 2>to be relocating to Melbourne. I've got family that in

0:37:19.210 --> 0:37:21.810
<v Speaker 2>Melbourne that I can go and live with. The medical

0:37:21.810 --> 0:37:25.930
<v Speaker 2>treatment for his daughter was better in Melbourne. I was like, well,

0:37:25.970 --> 0:37:28.210
<v Speaker 2>you know, that's not so far. Said's kind of closer

0:37:28.210 --> 0:37:30.770
<v Speaker 2>than what Townsville is to Sydney. So I said, we

0:37:30.810 --> 0:37:33.530
<v Speaker 2>can still make that work. I'm like, my life is Sydney, though,

0:37:33.610 --> 0:37:36.250
<v Speaker 2>I said, But first things first, you need to be

0:37:36.370 --> 0:37:38.530
<v Speaker 2>here and we can go from there. I said, like,

0:37:38.570 --> 0:37:42.210
<v Speaker 2>when you arrive back in Melbourne, let's catch up properly

0:37:42.450 --> 0:37:44.530
<v Speaker 2>and let's make a real good go of this. I

0:37:44.610 --> 0:37:47.170
<v Speaker 2>get that it's been rocky, but if it's what you

0:37:47.250 --> 0:37:49.290
<v Speaker 2>really want, let's make it a good go. And so

0:37:49.370 --> 0:37:52.890
<v Speaker 2>it was about a couple of months when he finished

0:37:52.930 --> 0:37:56.090
<v Speaker 2>the deployment and was in Melbourne, and at that point

0:37:56.130 --> 0:37:58.970
<v Speaker 2>I was like, dude, for more time off work. So

0:37:59.010 --> 0:38:01.010
<v Speaker 2>I was like, okay, I'll come down on a holiday

0:38:01.090 --> 0:38:03.130
<v Speaker 2>because again I haven't seen my family in Melbourne for

0:38:03.170 --> 0:38:06.250
<v Speaker 2>a while. And so I said, okay, well, these are

0:38:06.250 --> 0:38:08.290
<v Speaker 2>my flight details. I'm like, you can come and pick

0:38:08.330 --> 0:38:10.570
<v Speaker 2>me up from the airport. This time. I usually get

0:38:10.650 --> 0:38:13.050
<v Speaker 2>my family to pick me up, but hey, you know, like,

0:38:13.210 --> 0:38:16.330
<v Speaker 2>let's have that romantic movie moment where you get off

0:38:16.330 --> 0:38:18.010
<v Speaker 2>the plane and you see each other and you just

0:38:18.090 --> 0:38:21.010
<v Speaker 2>cry and sob and all that stuff. And he was

0:38:21.170 --> 0:38:24.170
<v Speaker 2>all for already, was like, yep, great idea, send me

0:38:24.290 --> 0:38:27.970
<v Speaker 2>flight details. So I did and got to Sydney Airport

0:38:28.010 --> 0:38:31.130
<v Speaker 2>and I messaged him saying yep, I'm here. Flight's delayed,

0:38:31.210 --> 0:38:33.090
<v Speaker 2>and I was pissed off at that. I was like, oh,

0:38:33.250 --> 0:38:37.130
<v Speaker 2>damn flight. So we're messaging the whole time and I'm like, yeah, well,

0:38:37.290 --> 0:38:39.050
<v Speaker 2>you know, the airline's saying that we're going to leave

0:38:39.050 --> 0:38:41.090
<v Speaker 2>on time now, and I'm like, oh, I'm now having

0:38:41.090 --> 0:38:42.850
<v Speaker 2>to walk from one end of the airport to the other.

0:38:42.970 --> 0:38:46.090
<v Speaker 2>And so I was giving him a running documentary of

0:38:46.090 --> 0:38:48.570
<v Speaker 2>what was happening, and then eventually got on the plane.

0:38:48.610 --> 0:38:50.330
<v Speaker 2>I said, okay, I've now go to turn my phone off,

0:38:50.410 --> 0:38:53.330
<v Speaker 2>like we're about to take off. I said, I'll see

0:38:53.370 --> 0:38:55.170
<v Speaker 2>you in an hour and a bit, depending on how

0:38:55.170 --> 0:38:57.210
<v Speaker 2>long it takes to get off the plane. And I

0:38:57.250 --> 0:38:59.850
<v Speaker 2>remember we land into Melbourne. I've got my seat belt

0:38:59.850 --> 0:39:02.650
<v Speaker 2>already undone, and it was like messaging, going, yeah, we've

0:39:02.690 --> 0:39:06.810
<v Speaker 2>just landed. I'm on the tarmac and he was messaging back, yep, great,

0:39:06.890 --> 0:39:09.250
<v Speaker 2>I can see the plane. We pull into the gate

0:39:09.290 --> 0:39:11.210
<v Speaker 2>and like I jumped up out of a seat for

0:39:11.290 --> 0:39:13.290
<v Speaker 2>the people next to me were like, you might want

0:39:13.290 --> 0:39:14.930
<v Speaker 2>to steady on, like you've got a while to get

0:39:14.970 --> 0:39:17.730
<v Speaker 2>off the plane. So I'm like no, I'm like, come on,

0:39:17.850 --> 0:39:21.010
<v Speaker 2>let's just let's get off, like go, and again, like

0:39:21.370 --> 0:39:23.850
<v Speaker 2>that whole giddiness came in of like okay, I've got

0:39:23.850 --> 0:39:26.570
<v Speaker 2>my overhead luggage. I'm about to walk off the plane

0:39:26.570 --> 0:39:28.930
<v Speaker 2>and meet someone that I've invested so much in for

0:39:29.770 --> 0:39:32.650
<v Speaker 2>two years. And I remember coming out and I'm like

0:39:32.690 --> 0:39:35.250
<v Speaker 2>looking around again and had his photo and I'm like

0:39:35.370 --> 0:39:38.570
<v Speaker 2>looking and like couldn't see and I'm like, oh, Melbourne

0:39:38.610 --> 0:39:41.330
<v Speaker 2>Airport's like Sydney Airport, busy all the time, and so

0:39:41.330 --> 0:39:43.690
<v Speaker 2>many places to look. And I was like, so I

0:39:43.730 --> 0:39:46.210
<v Speaker 2>messaged and I said, okay, I'll meet you out near

0:39:46.330 --> 0:39:49.650
<v Speaker 2>the coffee stand and there's one like out of the

0:39:49.690 --> 0:39:52.010
<v Speaker 2>main entry and he was like, yep, sounds good, and

0:39:52.050 --> 0:39:54.330
<v Speaker 2>so I went there and again I'm standing thinking where

0:39:54.410 --> 0:39:56.690
<v Speaker 2>is he. I'm like, you know, and like I kept messaging,

0:39:56.770 --> 0:39:59.530
<v Speaker 2>going I can't see you. I'm like, you know, taking

0:39:59.570 --> 0:40:01.770
<v Speaker 2>photos of my outfit, going this is what I've got on,

0:40:01.970 --> 0:40:06.010
<v Speaker 2>this is where I'm standing, and he was replying with like, oh,

0:40:06.090 --> 0:40:09.330
<v Speaker 2>I'm like still stuck in traffic. I'm like, what kind

0:40:09.370 --> 0:40:11.570
<v Speaker 2>of car are you in? And he was like, oh, why,

0:40:12.170 --> 0:40:14.610
<v Speaker 2>kid's a Holden Commodore. I was like, okay, I'll meet

0:40:14.650 --> 0:40:17.770
<v Speaker 2>you in the express car park pickup. So got myself

0:40:17.770 --> 0:40:20.770
<v Speaker 2>over there and again photo saying here I am. I

0:40:20.810 --> 0:40:24.330
<v Speaker 2>remember standing there for what seemed like hours. I'm like,

0:40:24.970 --> 0:40:27.290
<v Speaker 2>doesn't take this long to get into the airport. You've

0:40:27.290 --> 0:40:30.650
<v Speaker 2>got photos of what I'm wearing where I'm standing, pretty

0:40:30.690 --> 0:40:34.010
<v Speaker 2>easy to find me. And that point I started trying

0:40:34.010 --> 0:40:36.890
<v Speaker 2>to call and then the phone's off, so I kept

0:40:36.890 --> 0:40:39.530
<v Speaker 2>trying and I'm like, okay, I'm like I don't know

0:40:39.570 --> 0:40:42.370
<v Speaker 2>if it's my phone. So I grabbed a stranger's phone

0:40:42.410 --> 0:40:44.170
<v Speaker 2>and I think I threw like five bucks at them

0:40:44.170 --> 0:40:45.690
<v Speaker 2>and said, oh, I need to make a phone call.

0:40:46.010 --> 0:40:48.530
<v Speaker 2>So I tried from a different number off.

0:40:49.010 --> 0:40:53.130
<v Speaker 1>Her stomach dropped. This couldn't be happening. Surely something had

0:40:53.170 --> 0:40:55.530
<v Speaker 1>gone wrong between him being so close he could see

0:40:55.530 --> 0:40:57.130
<v Speaker 1>the planes landing and now.

0:40:58.210 --> 0:40:59.890
<v Speaker 2>So I gave it half an hour and tried again.

0:41:00.370 --> 0:41:03.210
<v Speaker 2>Phone still off. So then I start calling my auntie

0:41:03.250 --> 0:41:05.650
<v Speaker 2>that lives close and I was like, I'm at the airport.

0:41:05.770 --> 0:41:08.130
<v Speaker 2>My ride hasn't picked me up. Are you cool to

0:41:08.170 --> 0:41:09.890
<v Speaker 2>come and get me or is it easy just to

0:41:09.930 --> 0:41:12.450
<v Speaker 2>catch cab? And she was like, oh a tax issues,

0:41:12.490 --> 0:41:15.250
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm busy. I'm like okay, no dramas. So I did.

0:41:15.290 --> 0:41:18.050
<v Speaker 2>So I went to my aunt's house and I was like, O, well,

0:41:18.170 --> 0:41:19.770
<v Speaker 2>that was one of the other reasons I was going

0:41:19.850 --> 0:41:22.250
<v Speaker 2>there for anyway, was to see family. Got to my

0:41:22.290 --> 0:41:24.050
<v Speaker 2>Aunti's house and then he calls me and he was

0:41:24.090 --> 0:41:26.330
<v Speaker 2>like where are you And I'm like, I'm at my

0:41:26.370 --> 0:41:28.770
<v Speaker 2>aunt's house. I'm like, did you not get all my messages?

0:41:29.370 --> 0:41:30.770
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, did you think I was going to stand

0:41:30.770 --> 0:41:32.850
<v Speaker 2>around till midnight or until the police come and pick

0:41:32.930 --> 0:41:35.250
<v Speaker 2>me up for the loitering at the airport? I'm like no,

0:41:35.570 --> 0:41:37.450
<v Speaker 2>I went to my aunt's and he was like, oh,

0:41:37.570 --> 0:41:40.250
<v Speaker 2>because I'm so sorry I got stuck, and I'm like

0:41:40.730 --> 0:41:42.370
<v Speaker 2>stuck where I'm like, you told me you were in

0:41:42.410 --> 0:41:45.570
<v Speaker 2>the line for the airport traffic and he was like oh,

0:41:45.810 --> 0:41:49.650
<v Speaker 2>I kept looping around and I'm like right, and I said, oh, look,

0:41:49.690 --> 0:41:51.010
<v Speaker 2>I said, it is what it is. I said, look,

0:41:51.010 --> 0:41:53.050
<v Speaker 2>give me your address and I'll come see you tomorrow.

0:41:53.090 --> 0:41:56.330
<v Speaker 2>I'll hire a car and I'll come see you. And

0:41:56.370 --> 0:41:58.810
<v Speaker 2>so we went down that path. So Liam gives me

0:41:58.850 --> 0:42:02.050
<v Speaker 2>an address that's not quite on the other side of

0:42:02.090 --> 0:42:04.730
<v Speaker 2>Melbourne from where my aunt is, but a fair drive

0:42:04.770 --> 0:42:07.850
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh, I didn't care. And I

0:42:07.890 --> 0:42:10.850
<v Speaker 2>remember that morning getting up and again working out a

0:42:10.930 --> 0:42:14.570
<v Speaker 2>nice outfit put on and doing my hair, doing my makeup, going, oh,

0:42:14.650 --> 0:42:16.530
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's today, the day I win the lottery

0:42:16.730 --> 0:42:19.330
<v Speaker 2>and meet the guy that I've been talking to for

0:42:19.370 --> 0:42:21.770
<v Speaker 2>so long and invested in, and I'm like, hopefully all

0:42:21.810 --> 0:42:24.730
<v Speaker 2>this shit will be behind us. And I remember driving

0:42:24.770 --> 0:42:28.490
<v Speaker 2>out to the address he'd given me, and let's just

0:42:28.570 --> 0:42:33.090
<v Speaker 2>say that excitement soon crashed down to earth when I

0:42:33.170 --> 0:42:38.410
<v Speaker 2>got there and it was a vacant block. I was

0:42:39.090 --> 0:42:42.530
<v Speaker 2>absolutely devastated and I think a lot worse than what

0:42:42.610 --> 0:42:45.770
<v Speaker 2>I was when I had the whole experience in Townsville.

0:42:45.810 --> 0:42:49.090
<v Speaker 2>I was just like what the fuck. I'm like, not again,

0:42:49.210 --> 0:42:52.450
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, let alone give me someone else's address, but

0:42:52.490 --> 0:42:55.210
<v Speaker 2>giving me an address that is an empty block, I'm like,

0:42:55.690 --> 0:42:58.330
<v Speaker 2>who does that to someone? I'm like, what have I

0:42:58.410 --> 0:43:01.570
<v Speaker 2>been caught in for the past two years? I was

0:43:01.650 --> 0:43:05.170
<v Speaker 2>screaming and carrying on and probably looked like an idiot

0:43:05.210 --> 0:43:07.610
<v Speaker 2>again too so for all the people around, and it

0:43:07.730 --> 0:43:09.730
<v Speaker 2>was just like, I'm like, how the fuck do I

0:43:09.810 --> 0:43:13.850
<v Speaker 2>drive back home? And my auntie what's going on? I'm like, well,

0:43:13.930 --> 0:43:17.050
<v Speaker 2>I can't. So I remember driving home and my aunt

0:43:17.130 --> 0:43:18.890
<v Speaker 2>was like, how was your time? I'm like, yeah, it

0:43:18.930 --> 0:43:20.570
<v Speaker 2>was great. You know. I caught up with friends and

0:43:20.730 --> 0:43:23.890
<v Speaker 2>just went sightseeing and you know, again more lies to

0:43:23.970 --> 0:43:26.770
<v Speaker 2>family because it was just again it was embarrassment. Like

0:43:27.050 --> 0:43:30.970
<v Speaker 2>I was overcome with so much embarrassment and I guess

0:43:31.730 --> 0:43:33.770
<v Speaker 2>so much shame in myself that it was like, how

0:43:33.810 --> 0:43:37.090
<v Speaker 2>could I be so stupid a naive? It was just like,

0:43:37.650 --> 0:43:40.930
<v Speaker 2>how are you going to explain this to people? I

0:43:41.010 --> 0:43:44.490
<v Speaker 2>sent him one final message and it was basically, go

0:43:44.650 --> 0:43:47.730
<v Speaker 2>fuck yourself. I'm done and that was it. Like I

0:43:47.770 --> 0:43:51.810
<v Speaker 2>deleted him from Skype, I deleted Skype altogether, deleted my

0:43:52.370 --> 0:43:53.930
<v Speaker 2>account on that oasis.

0:43:54.010 --> 0:43:58.010
<v Speaker 1>I was done with it, and that was it. She

0:43:58.090 --> 0:44:00.330
<v Speaker 1>had him blocked, so she didn't even have any way

0:44:00.370 --> 0:44:03.130
<v Speaker 1>to hear from him. But he didn't try either. The

0:44:03.250 --> 0:44:07.370
<v Speaker 1>jig was up. Whatever that jig was, so Kylie just

0:44:07.370 --> 0:44:11.570
<v Speaker 1>had to move on. It was painful, embarrassing and so confusing,

0:44:12.010 --> 0:44:14.170
<v Speaker 1>made all the worse by the fact she hadn't shared

0:44:14.210 --> 0:44:17.410
<v Speaker 1>what was going on with anyone. So she quietly grieved

0:44:17.410 --> 0:44:20.450
<v Speaker 1>the relationship that was and tried as best she could

0:44:20.730 --> 0:44:23.290
<v Speaker 1>to get on with her life. In fact, it wasn't

0:44:23.370 --> 0:44:26.570
<v Speaker 1>until years later it came up again at all, when

0:44:26.570 --> 0:44:28.770
<v Speaker 1>she heard of a website called Sauce Bottle.

0:44:29.610 --> 0:44:33.930
<v Speaker 2>It's basically a website that journalists or people that are

0:44:33.970 --> 0:44:37.770
<v Speaker 2>writing stories or needing something from people go on. They

0:44:38.050 --> 0:44:39.890
<v Speaker 2>list up the job, so it's kind of like air

0:44:39.970 --> 0:44:43.130
<v Speaker 2>tasker in a sense, but you're a source. Some are paid,

0:44:43.210 --> 0:44:46.170
<v Speaker 2>some are free. And I remember coming across one that

0:44:46.370 --> 0:44:49.290
<v Speaker 2>was for catfishing, and I was like, what's this And

0:44:49.370 --> 0:44:52.050
<v Speaker 2>it was around the same time that MTV brought out

0:44:52.130 --> 0:44:55.490
<v Speaker 2>the TV show Catfish, which I absolutely loved. I thought, Oh,

0:44:55.530 --> 0:44:58.530
<v Speaker 2>this show's awesome, and then when it hit home that

0:44:58.530 --> 0:45:00.570
<v Speaker 2>that's what had happened to me, I was like, Oh,

0:45:00.690 --> 0:45:02.970
<v Speaker 2>this is not so cool. I'm like, that's the same

0:45:02.970 --> 0:45:04.770
<v Speaker 2>shit that happened to me, and I'm like, they've made

0:45:04.770 --> 0:45:07.250
<v Speaker 2>a TV show out of this. And then I came

0:45:07.290 --> 0:45:11.090
<v Speaker 2>across that Bottle call out for people to tell their

0:45:11.130 --> 0:45:15.130
<v Speaker 2>stories about being catfished, and I remember sitting on it

0:45:15.170 --> 0:45:17.770
<v Speaker 2>for a while and I was like, because with Souce Bottle,

0:45:17.770 --> 0:45:19.610
<v Speaker 2>you're given deadlines that if you want to reach out

0:45:19.650 --> 0:45:22.530
<v Speaker 2>to those people you can, And I really sat on

0:45:22.570 --> 0:45:25.170
<v Speaker 2>it and I was just like, is this something that

0:45:25.250 --> 0:45:27.970
<v Speaker 2>I actually want to speak out, put my name and

0:45:28.010 --> 0:45:30.890
<v Speaker 2>my face to and admit that it had happened to me,

0:45:31.010 --> 0:45:33.610
<v Speaker 2>because like my friend saw me as someone that was

0:45:33.730 --> 0:45:38.170
<v Speaker 2>very strongheaded, very professional, very driven, like had their shit together,

0:45:38.210 --> 0:45:41.370
<v Speaker 2>and to be putting this out there, it'd be like, well,

0:45:41.490 --> 0:45:44.850
<v Speaker 2>you know, this was my weakness. And next thing I knew,

0:45:44.850 --> 0:45:46.930
<v Speaker 2>I'd responded to it like I didn't even think, and

0:45:46.970 --> 0:45:49.170
<v Speaker 2>I was like, yeah, have I got the story for you?

0:45:49.850 --> 0:45:52.850
<v Speaker 1>So she told it. She wrote down and published her

0:45:52.890 --> 0:45:55.530
<v Speaker 1>whole story of what happened with Liam the way he

0:45:55.650 --> 0:45:59.130
<v Speaker 1>treated her, the gas slighting, the lies, the ghosting, and

0:45:59.170 --> 0:46:02.250
<v Speaker 1>that she still had no idea what had actually happened.

0:46:02.690 --> 0:46:05.650
<v Speaker 1>Ruffy was even who he said he was. It was

0:46:05.690 --> 0:46:09.210
<v Speaker 1>the first time she'd told anyone what had happened, like.

0:46:09.250 --> 0:46:12.250
<v Speaker 2>It was just so many people reach out, going, oh

0:46:12.250 --> 0:46:14.530
<v Speaker 2>my god, you were so brave, but why didn't you

0:46:14.570 --> 0:46:17.850
<v Speaker 2>tell us? Because again, no one knew that I'd gone

0:46:17.890 --> 0:46:20.890
<v Speaker 2>through this, and it was a wave of emotion and

0:46:20.930 --> 0:46:23.330
<v Speaker 2>it was just like, well, yeah, you know, I should

0:46:23.330 --> 0:46:27.010
<v Speaker 2>have probably told people, in particular my mum, who was

0:46:27.050 --> 0:46:30.250
<v Speaker 2>my best friend, and it was just like again I

0:46:30.330 --> 0:46:32.730
<v Speaker 2>was overcome with guilt and shame. It was just like, well,

0:46:32.770 --> 0:46:34.930
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to, I said, because you know, one

0:46:35.250 --> 0:46:38.970
<v Speaker 2>meeting someone online is not seen as normal, and I

0:46:39.090 --> 0:46:41.930
<v Speaker 2>was worried about how people would perceive me. But a

0:46:41.970 --> 0:46:44.370
<v Speaker 2>lot of it was like, you're so brave, You're so brave,

0:46:45.170 --> 0:46:47.250
<v Speaker 2>and I thought, oh, great, you know I'd done that.

0:46:47.410 --> 0:46:49.410
<v Speaker 2>But then I thought it would stop.

0:46:49.490 --> 0:46:52.730
<v Speaker 1>But it didn't. The day after her story was published,

0:46:52.810 --> 0:46:55.250
<v Speaker 1>she got a call from a producer from a national

0:46:55.290 --> 0:46:58.010
<v Speaker 1>TV news show. She didn't know if she wanted to

0:46:58.050 --> 0:47:00.770
<v Speaker 1>be on TV, but agreed for the producers to try

0:47:00.810 --> 0:47:03.090
<v Speaker 1>to get to the bottom of what had happened either way.

0:47:03.650 --> 0:47:06.730
<v Speaker 2>But it was at that point that their investigators had

0:47:06.770 --> 0:47:09.330
<v Speaker 2>taken it up and I'd given all the information that

0:47:09.370 --> 0:47:13.370
<v Speaker 2>I had, and they'd actually found the people that were

0:47:13.730 --> 0:47:19.290
<v Speaker 2>pretending to be Liam, and they're like, well, Liam is

0:47:19.370 --> 0:47:21.570
<v Speaker 2>more Liam's and I'm like, what do you mean? And

0:47:21.610 --> 0:47:24.770
<v Speaker 2>they're like, it was a group of people. There's multiple people,

0:47:24.770 --> 0:47:27.490
<v Speaker 2>There's about four or five of them. It's basically a

0:47:27.530 --> 0:47:30.650
<v Speaker 2>scam ring. I'm like, what's a scam ring? And he

0:47:30.730 --> 0:47:33.170
<v Speaker 2>was like where it's multiple people that are in on

0:47:33.250 --> 0:47:35.450
<v Speaker 2>the thing. And I was like okay, and I'm like, so,

0:47:36.010 --> 0:47:39.010
<v Speaker 2>like Liam, is he an actual person? He goes he

0:47:39.090 --> 0:47:41.690
<v Speaker 2>is an actual person, but we've also reached out to

0:47:41.810 --> 0:47:45.650
<v Speaker 2>him and his photos were used by these people. So

0:47:45.850 --> 0:47:49.210
<v Speaker 2>he's actually in the military. He has a wife and

0:47:49.250 --> 0:47:52.250
<v Speaker 2>a daughter. Then they said to me that the Liam

0:47:52.410 --> 0:47:55.890
<v Speaker 2>that you were speaking to was never in Australia. He's

0:47:55.930 --> 0:48:00.610
<v Speaker 2>actually in Nigeria. And then I was like, oh my god.

0:48:00.690 --> 0:48:02.850
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's when it had kind of really

0:48:03.450 --> 0:48:06.490
<v Speaker 2>slapped me across the face that I was like, Fuck,

0:48:06.570 --> 0:48:09.890
<v Speaker 2>I've been scammed. I've not only had money taken off me.

0:48:10.090 --> 0:48:13.130
<v Speaker 2>I've had my heart ripped out, my trust, like I

0:48:13.290 --> 0:48:18.570
<v Speaker 2>was blown to pieces. So I then sort of looked

0:48:18.610 --> 0:48:21.610
<v Speaker 2>back over the two years that it was and I

0:48:21.770 --> 0:48:24.090
<v Speaker 2>was like, because even a lot of my friends were saying, oh,

0:48:24.130 --> 0:48:26.490
<v Speaker 2>he's probably not real and all this, and I'm like,

0:48:26.570 --> 0:48:29.090
<v Speaker 2>shut up, Like he is, Like I've heard him on

0:48:29.090 --> 0:48:32.330
<v Speaker 2>the phone. He's sending gifts, Like scams are all normally

0:48:32.490 --> 0:48:35.170
<v Speaker 2>one way, like you're always giving, not getting, and I

0:48:35.370 --> 0:48:38.330
<v Speaker 2>was getting things, and that's why I think I never

0:48:38.370 --> 0:48:40.370
<v Speaker 2>saw it as a scam. But then when I sat

0:48:40.450 --> 0:48:44.130
<v Speaker 2>back and really dissected it to the point that I

0:48:44.170 --> 0:48:47.090
<v Speaker 2>was just like red flag number one, red flag number two,

0:48:47.090 --> 0:48:50.170
<v Speaker 2>and like the voice changing and the camera never being on,

0:48:50.250 --> 0:48:52.850
<v Speaker 2>like that was alarm bell number one. Like that's when

0:48:52.890 --> 0:48:55.050
<v Speaker 2>I should have been, Like I shouldn't have let it

0:48:55.090 --> 0:48:58.090
<v Speaker 2>go as easy as I did, just the constant excuses.

0:48:58.130 --> 0:49:01.490
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, should I have been so forgiving? Probably not,

0:49:01.730 --> 0:49:05.090
<v Speaker 2>Like I should have called out the bullshit when it

0:49:05.210 --> 0:49:07.930
<v Speaker 2>was going off. Even though I was getting things, like

0:49:07.970 --> 0:49:09.970
<v Speaker 2>I was getting the flowers and all that stuff, it

0:49:10.090 --> 0:49:13.730
<v Speaker 2>was still I'd given up money, I'd given up more importantly,

0:49:13.770 --> 0:49:17.730
<v Speaker 2>my emotions, and it was like, was I desperate? Probably

0:49:17.770 --> 0:49:20.090
<v Speaker 2>a little bit. I wouldn't say I was overly desperate,

0:49:20.090 --> 0:49:24.010
<v Speaker 2>but I think it was not desperate to have a relationship.

0:49:24.050 --> 0:49:27.370
<v Speaker 2>It was desperate just to have that person that cherished me.

0:49:27.610 --> 0:49:31.010
<v Speaker 2>And it was more something was missing in my life.

0:49:31.050 --> 0:49:34.730
<v Speaker 2>And was I a little naive? Absolutely? I think that

0:49:35.290 --> 0:49:38.450
<v Speaker 2>I'd been through so much already up until that point

0:49:38.450 --> 0:49:41.130
<v Speaker 2>in life that it was like opening up myself again.

0:49:41.370 --> 0:49:43.930
<v Speaker 2>Had I really thought about how was I going to

0:49:43.970 --> 0:49:48.410
<v Speaker 2>protect myself from going through all this stuff? And I

0:49:48.410 --> 0:49:50.770
<v Speaker 2>think i'd also not long just come out of being

0:49:50.850 --> 0:49:53.330
<v Speaker 2>clinically depressed for a good couple of years. So it

0:49:53.370 --> 0:49:56.290
<v Speaker 2>was like I was finding my feet and this gave

0:49:56.370 --> 0:50:00.610
<v Speaker 2>me the confidence to be me again. The main question

0:50:00.690 --> 0:50:03.370
<v Speaker 2>I asked myself was like, what the fuck? Who have

0:50:03.450 --> 0:50:05.650
<v Speaker 2>I been talking to? Who's been at the end of

0:50:05.650 --> 0:50:08.210
<v Speaker 2>the computer? Who was the person I've been talking to?

0:50:08.410 --> 0:50:10.730
<v Speaker 2>Like who have I been pouring my heart out to?

0:50:10.930 --> 0:50:14.770
<v Speaker 2>It was like just what the hell? Like why me?

0:50:15.010 --> 0:50:17.650
<v Speaker 2>Was even another one? Like was I picked out of

0:50:17.730 --> 0:50:20.330
<v Speaker 2>like millions of other profiles and I'm like, oh, let's

0:50:20.330 --> 0:50:23.930
<v Speaker 2>destroy this person. It was more just what was wrong

0:50:23.970 --> 0:50:25.610
<v Speaker 2>with me at that point that he didn't want to

0:50:25.650 --> 0:50:28.330
<v Speaker 2>meet and it was again I think taking it on

0:50:28.850 --> 0:50:31.170
<v Speaker 2>that I was a problem and it was not him.

0:50:31.330 --> 0:50:34.530
<v Speaker 2>It was all me. So finding out Liam was a

0:50:34.570 --> 0:50:38.250
<v Speaker 2>real person did validate me in some sense that he

0:50:38.970 --> 0:50:41.970
<v Speaker 2>was also a victim in this because he's had his

0:50:42.050 --> 0:50:46.330
<v Speaker 2>photos used and his identity, Like I started questioning myself, well,

0:50:46.330 --> 0:50:49.170
<v Speaker 2>how would he be feeling with all this? How has

0:50:49.210 --> 0:50:52.690
<v Speaker 2>that affected his family? Because I'm not one hundred percent

0:50:52.770 --> 0:50:56.090
<v Speaker 2>sure that if he was ever contacted and told and

0:50:56.170 --> 0:50:58.730
<v Speaker 2>we've never spoken, I've never had the opportunity to actually

0:50:58.730 --> 0:51:02.090
<v Speaker 2>speak to the real Liam, but it would be interesting

0:51:02.210 --> 0:51:04.850
<v Speaker 2>just to know from his point like how having your

0:51:04.890 --> 0:51:08.410
<v Speaker 2>photos used to suck someone else in would have affected him,

0:51:08.570 --> 0:51:12.090
<v Speaker 2>but to see that he has a family, it would

0:51:12.090 --> 0:51:14.210
<v Speaker 2>have been gut wrenching for him.

0:51:14.650 --> 0:51:17.730
<v Speaker 1>Kylie is incredibly strong. She's done a lot of work

0:51:17.770 --> 0:51:20.050
<v Speaker 1>and a lot of healing, and he's in a really

0:51:20.090 --> 0:51:23.370
<v Speaker 1>good place now of knowing who she is and understanding

0:51:23.410 --> 0:51:26.410
<v Speaker 1>that what happened to her wasn't her fault and doesn't

0:51:26.410 --> 0:51:29.170
<v Speaker 1>define her. She even says in some way she's glad

0:51:29.210 --> 0:51:31.290
<v Speaker 1>it happened because of what it's taught her.

0:51:32.050 --> 0:51:34.170
<v Speaker 2>One big thing I've taken out of all of this

0:51:34.370 --> 0:51:37.690
<v Speaker 2>is that you don't need to have someone to define

0:51:37.730 --> 0:51:40.810
<v Speaker 2>who you are, Like you can be an absolute individual

0:51:41.090 --> 0:51:43.410
<v Speaker 2>on your own, and you should be and know who

0:51:43.450 --> 0:51:46.490
<v Speaker 2>you are. And I guess the other thing too, like

0:51:46.650 --> 0:51:50.250
<v Speaker 2>is I've learned to listen to gut instinct. Like there

0:51:50.250 --> 0:51:52.250
<v Speaker 2>were times my gut was going off and I was

0:51:52.290 --> 0:51:55.610
<v Speaker 2>more listening with my heart than my gut. And now

0:51:55.650 --> 0:51:58.810
<v Speaker 2>I've learned that if your gut's telling you something something's

0:51:58.850 --> 0:52:01.730
<v Speaker 2>not right, it one hundred percent is not right. Like,

0:52:01.970 --> 0:52:04.290
<v Speaker 2>listen to your gut instinct. Like I know people say

0:52:04.330 --> 0:52:06.090
<v Speaker 2>it's the old debate of your head over your heart

0:52:06.130 --> 0:52:08.850
<v Speaker 2>and vice versa, it's actually your gut over everything else.

0:52:08.930 --> 0:52:13.010
<v Speaker 2>Because that instinct you get when something smells like a rat,

0:52:13.170 --> 0:52:13.930
<v Speaker 2>it is a rat.

0:52:14.450 --> 0:52:17.450
<v Speaker 1>But she'll still never understand why it happened.

0:52:18.410 --> 0:52:21.490
<v Speaker 2>Look, I'd love to know it. When we look at catfishing,

0:52:21.890 --> 0:52:24.930
<v Speaker 2>people generally do it for either emotional power over a

0:52:24.930 --> 0:52:28.330
<v Speaker 2>person or financial I was no millionaire and I'm still

0:52:28.330 --> 0:52:30.730
<v Speaker 2>not a millionaire, so they were never going to get

0:52:30.810 --> 0:52:32.730
<v Speaker 2>large sums of money out of me. But I think

0:52:32.930 --> 0:52:36.370
<v Speaker 2>it was more just that emotional power to control someone

0:52:36.690 --> 0:52:39.650
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, like it's just really dog act to

0:52:39.690 --> 0:52:43.450
<v Speaker 2>do to someone. I jumped back into the dating world

0:52:43.490 --> 0:52:44.850
<v Speaker 2>again because I was like, I'm not going to let

0:52:44.850 --> 0:52:47.370
<v Speaker 2>this define me. But again, it did take a good

0:52:47.930 --> 0:52:50.610
<v Speaker 2>couple of years to sort of rebuild myself because I

0:52:50.650 --> 0:52:52.890
<v Speaker 2>was just like, I'm not going through that shit again.

0:52:53.330 --> 0:52:55.890
<v Speaker 2>And I didn't even get back on online dating for

0:52:56.250 --> 0:52:57.930
<v Speaker 2>I think it was a good five ten years, like

0:52:58.010 --> 0:52:59.810
<v Speaker 2>i'd left it for a while, like it's something I've

0:52:59.890 --> 0:53:02.690
<v Speaker 2>kind of only just dabbled back in in the last

0:53:02.770 --> 0:53:05.690
<v Speaker 2>couple of years because I threw myself into work, like

0:53:05.730 --> 0:53:10.810
<v Speaker 2>I've changed jobs and industries, I've studied, I've graduated UNI,

0:53:10.970 --> 0:53:14.810
<v Speaker 2>I've had reallylationships. I've grown a lot currently not in one,

0:53:15.010 --> 0:53:17.970
<v Speaker 2>but that doesn't upset me anymore. It's like, well, you know,

0:53:18.010 --> 0:53:21.370
<v Speaker 2>I've got a lot going on in life that dating's

0:53:21.530 --> 0:53:24.570
<v Speaker 2>the least of my worries at the moment. So am

0:53:24.650 --> 0:53:26.930
<v Speaker 2>I open to it in the future. Absolutely, But at

0:53:27.010 --> 0:53:29.970
<v Speaker 2>least now I know if I go back onto those

0:53:30.050 --> 0:53:32.370
<v Speaker 2>online apps, it's a matter of I know what to

0:53:32.410 --> 0:53:35.570
<v Speaker 2>look out for. I have had those giddy feelings again,

0:53:35.810 --> 0:53:38.210
<v Speaker 2>and it was good to have them and know that

0:53:38.290 --> 0:53:40.530
<v Speaker 2>I still had them. Within me because for so long

0:53:40.650 --> 0:53:42.890
<v Speaker 2>I had put that wall back up. I've now been

0:53:42.930 --> 0:53:46.610
<v Speaker 2>able to sort of master that mindset of breaking down

0:53:46.650 --> 0:53:50.050
<v Speaker 2>things and being careful and really analyzing things before I

0:53:50.090 --> 0:53:53.130
<v Speaker 2>take that jump. But definitely had those feelings and would

0:53:53.130 --> 0:53:54.690
<v Speaker 2>love to have them at some point again.

0:53:55.490 --> 0:53:57.850
<v Speaker 1>And she wants to keep working to break down the

0:53:57.930 --> 0:54:01.530
<v Speaker 1>stigma about being scammed and help stop it from happening

0:54:01.610 --> 0:54:01.930
<v Speaker 1>to them.

0:54:02.610 --> 0:54:05.010
<v Speaker 2>Look, the reasons that scammers do these kind of things,

0:54:05.610 --> 0:54:09.010
<v Speaker 2>there's such a wide range of reasons. I mean, if

0:54:09.010 --> 0:54:11.330
<v Speaker 2>they're people that know the person that they're going to catfish,

0:54:11.770 --> 0:54:13.930
<v Speaker 2>it'd be because you don't like a kid at school,

0:54:14.210 --> 0:54:16.130
<v Speaker 2>or you don't like someone you work with, or you're

0:54:16.170 --> 0:54:19.890
<v Speaker 2>jealous or whatever. It's still no reason to pretend that

0:54:19.930 --> 0:54:22.130
<v Speaker 2>you're someone that you're not because, like, let's face it,

0:54:22.170 --> 0:54:24.450
<v Speaker 2>in a legal world, that's fraud, So why can't you

0:54:24.530 --> 0:54:28.290
<v Speaker 2>be charged with fraud like it's committing an offense. But

0:54:28.330 --> 0:54:31.570
<v Speaker 2>there was a young girl that unfortunately took her life

0:54:31.610 --> 0:54:36.050
<v Speaker 2>because of catfishing. This poor girl was only sixteen. And

0:54:36.170 --> 0:54:38.450
<v Speaker 2>the thing that infuriates me is like if I was

0:54:38.490 --> 0:54:40.970
<v Speaker 2>to drive my car out and accidentally hit someone and

0:54:41.010 --> 0:54:43.530
<v Speaker 2>they die, I get done for manslaughter, yet that poor

0:54:43.570 --> 0:54:46.570
<v Speaker 2>girl has taken her life because of someone's actions and

0:54:46.610 --> 0:54:49.970
<v Speaker 2>there was kind of no consequences. So trying to advocate

0:54:50.010 --> 0:54:52.450
<v Speaker 2>to make it law and to make it legal that

0:54:52.570 --> 0:54:55.410
<v Speaker 2>there are some kind of repercussions for what this can

0:54:55.450 --> 0:54:59.090
<v Speaker 2>do to people is now something that I'm massively a

0:54:59.130 --> 0:55:03.810
<v Speaker 2>supporter of. I've been introduced to sites like social Catfish

0:55:03.810 --> 0:55:06.850
<v Speaker 2>where you can actually drag and drop people's images in

0:55:07.010 --> 0:55:09.450
<v Speaker 2>and it will tell you if they're on any dating

0:55:09.490 --> 0:55:12.090
<v Speaker 2>sites and multiple dating sites, or if they're even being

0:55:12.130 --> 0:55:16.130
<v Speaker 2>flagged on scam sites. And I mean now that online

0:55:16.210 --> 0:55:18.850
<v Speaker 2>dating's come back into a full force of its way

0:55:18.850 --> 0:55:21.610
<v Speaker 2>to meet people with the likes of Bumble and Hinge,

0:55:21.650 --> 0:55:24.570
<v Speaker 2>it's a good time to remind people that hey, if

0:55:24.570 --> 0:55:28.130
<v Speaker 2>you're not certain, dump those photos in. But one thing

0:55:28.170 --> 0:55:30.690
<v Speaker 2>I have noticed with the new dating apps is they

0:55:30.810 --> 0:55:33.970
<v Speaker 2>have self verification in there now, So you've now actually

0:55:34.010 --> 0:55:37.010
<v Speaker 2>got to take a selfie of yourself in the app

0:55:37.050 --> 0:55:40.610
<v Speaker 2>and it verifies it against your profile images and if

0:55:40.610 --> 0:55:42.890
<v Speaker 2>it's not you, then I think they block the profile.

0:55:42.970 --> 0:55:45.450
<v Speaker 2>So online and dating, it's good to have seen that

0:55:45.570 --> 0:55:48.850
<v Speaker 2>it's advanced with technology as well and doing its bit

0:55:48.890 --> 0:55:51.930
<v Speaker 2>to try and stop these things from happening even further,

0:55:52.450 --> 0:55:54.210
<v Speaker 2>there's been lots of good to come out of it

0:55:54.250 --> 0:55:58.330
<v Speaker 2>as well as bad. I think that's my life's purpose

0:55:58.490 --> 0:56:01.610
<v Speaker 2>is to really help people be aware, to be a

0:56:01.650 --> 0:56:06.810
<v Speaker 2>better version of themselves, and to just support other people

0:56:07.050 --> 0:56:08.930
<v Speaker 2>out there that have gone through this and to know

0:56:09.010 --> 0:56:12.210
<v Speaker 2>that while it's not okay to go through it's okay

0:56:12.250 --> 0:56:14.610
<v Speaker 2>to actually be upfront and talk about it. Because that's

0:56:14.610 --> 0:56:16.450
<v Speaker 2>one thing I didn't do is like, as I said,

0:56:16.770 --> 0:56:21.210
<v Speaker 2>my mum My Network, my close friends knew nothing about

0:56:21.250 --> 0:56:23.850
<v Speaker 2>it until I had appeared on TV, and it was

0:56:24.010 --> 0:56:27.410
<v Speaker 2>more the fact that not being afraid to speak up.

0:56:27.690 --> 0:56:30.890
<v Speaker 2>And I think though it's mainly just to really support

0:56:30.930 --> 0:56:33.490
<v Speaker 2>other people that are going through it, because I say

0:56:33.530 --> 0:56:35.410
<v Speaker 2>to people, we go through things in life and we

0:56:35.450 --> 0:56:37.930
<v Speaker 2>wonder why me, and I'm like, because I'm strong. I

0:56:37.930 --> 0:56:39.890
<v Speaker 2>think it's because I was strong enough to deal with it,

0:56:39.930 --> 0:56:43.290
<v Speaker 2>Whereas if it had been anyone else, they probably wouldn't

0:56:43.330 --> 0:56:46.850
<v Speaker 2>have been as strong and probably they wouldn't be sitting

0:56:46.850 --> 0:56:56.850
<v Speaker 2>here sharing their story.

0:56:56.930 --> 0:56:59.690
<v Speaker 1>Everyone has an ex is a Minti Media production and

0:56:59.770 --> 0:57:02.690
<v Speaker 1>proudly part of the mum of MEA network is written

0:57:02.690 --> 0:57:06.410
<v Speaker 1>and narrated by me Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott.

0:57:06.770 --> 0:57:08.850
<v Speaker 1>If you have a story you'd like to share, email

0:57:08.970 --> 0:57:12.770
<v Speaker 1>podcast at momamea dot com dot au. You can support

0:57:12.850 --> 0:57:15.250
<v Speaker 1>us by following the show in your favorite podcast app

0:57:15.410 --> 0:57:18.010
<v Speaker 1>and leaving a five star review. We'll see you for

0:57:18.050 --> 0:57:20.730
<v Speaker 1>the next episode.