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Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA mea podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges

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Speaker 1: the traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast

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Speaker 1: is recorded on online dating. We've all heard a story,

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Speaker 1: good or bad. It's the way the world now. You

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Speaker 1: log on, upload your best picks, think of a few

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Speaker 1: witty pickup lines, and get swiping. And if you're lucky,

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Speaker 1: you won't be swiping too long because the perfect person

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Speaker 1: is right there at the tap of a button, without

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Speaker 1: even having to leave the couch.

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Speaker 2: There were gifts that were rocking up like I'd come

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Speaker 2: home to, like long stem red roses, flowers glore. My

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Speaker 2: unit at one time looked like a florist, and there

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Speaker 2: were all these packages and everything showing up, and I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: he's like really invested, Like you know, this is actually

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Speaker 2: a legitimate relationship.

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Speaker 1: But how well can you really know someone before you've

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Speaker 1: actually met them? How can you try everything they're telling

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Speaker 1: you where they say they live, or their job is,

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Speaker 1: or their intentions.

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Speaker 2: I thought it would stop, but then a current affair

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Speaker 2: called me and then I was like, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's when it had kind of really

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Speaker 2: slapped me across the face that I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 2: I've been scammed.

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Speaker 1: I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex

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Speaker 1: Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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Speaker 1: unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the

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Speaker 1: hearts of the very people who lived them. The year

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Speaker 1: was twenty ten when Kylie's story begins. At thirty years old.

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Speaker 1: She had her life together, a great job, great friends.

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Speaker 1: There was just one part she felt was missing.

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Speaker 2: And I was at a point where all my friends

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Speaker 2: were in relationships, popping out, babies, getting engaged, getting married,

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Speaker 2: and I was the single pringle, and I was starting

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Speaker 2: to think, well, what the hell was wrong with me?

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Speaker 2: Like I had a good job, it was just like

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Speaker 2: there was something missing, and it was just like, well,

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Speaker 2: why have they got it and I don't. And it

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Speaker 2: was at the point then that dating apps were like

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Speaker 2: the new unspoken thing, Like people would never talk about

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Speaker 2: getting on a dating app to meet someone. So I

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Speaker 2: kind of didn't tell anyone that I'd signed up. And

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Speaker 2: that was back in the day when Oasis was the

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Speaker 2: bumble of its generation, and I was like, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: it can't hurt, you know. I wasn't so much a

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Speaker 2: shy person. It was just too busy to go and

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Speaker 2: try and meet people in the old fashioned way of

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Speaker 2: like the laundro matter on the bus or the train,

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Speaker 2: or the cliches they give in the movies. So I

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Speaker 2: thought I'd give online dating or try and see what

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Speaker 2: this whole new thing was in terms of dating and

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Speaker 2: meeting people.

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Speaker 1: So ont oasis she went. She set up a profile,

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Speaker 1: added some photos and throw caution to the wind.

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Speaker 2: It was kind of like feeling in a job application

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Speaker 2: because it was all the questions I ask you and

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Speaker 2: everything they want to know. It was like, okay, so

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Speaker 2: put it out there and it would have been probably

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Speaker 2: about three weeks and then that's when Liam and I connected.

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Speaker 2: The photos were definitely what sucked me in because he

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Speaker 2: was a good looking dude. It's like think of Channing Tater.

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Speaker 2: The profile was very detail so it described about his job,

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Speaker 2: that he was in the US Army but based in Australia.

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Speaker 2: He had a daughter, he was a single father, he

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Speaker 2: was looking to meet the love of his life, loved

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Speaker 2: being outdoorsy, so all the things I looked for. Of

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Speaker 2: course good looking as well, had a job. It just

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Speaker 2: screamed out like to me. So I connected and sent

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Speaker 2: a message going hey, how you would love to chat

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Speaker 2: and didn't really think i'd get anything back because I

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Speaker 2: was very skeptical about online dating. And next thing I know,

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Speaker 2: there was a ping back.

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Speaker 1: They started chatting, and Kylie immediately liked what she saw.

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Speaker 2: He was on deployment in Afghanistan with the Army, looking

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Speaker 2: to obviously chat to someone in the times where he

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Speaker 2: wasn't doing active duties and like they're downtime basically. So

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Speaker 2: it was more like, I have a lot of friends

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Speaker 2: in the army, so I know how difficult it can

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Speaker 2: be to be away from love one, so I kind

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Speaker 2: of saw it as a way to fill in his

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Speaker 2: time and just be someone that he could talk to

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Speaker 2: and be out of what he was there for. He

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Speaker 2: would be deployed for around six months to a year,

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Speaker 2: and then back for a couple of months and then

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Speaker 2: sent away again. Man in uniform. Do I need to

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Speaker 2: say anymore? Yeah, So I think that's the lure of

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Speaker 2: what it was. It was like, oh, he's in the army,

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Speaker 2: he's good looking. I'm like, what more could a woman

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Speaker 2: asks for?

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Speaker 1: But it was more than that. They got chatting a

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Speaker 1: lot in the first few days, and Kylie quickly became

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Speaker 1: pretty smitten.

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Speaker 2: I was in Sydney and he was in Townsville, which

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Speaker 2: I've lived in as well, so I know the area

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Speaker 2: quite oh, and I thought, well, that's not so bad

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Speaker 2: at least, that's another point that we had in common.

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Speaker 2: And we started talking about why I left and what

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Speaker 2: brought him to Townsville in specific, and you know, out

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Speaker 2: of all regions in Australia, why was it Townsville And

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Speaker 2: he was just basically that's where the deployment was. We

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Speaker 2: would talk about everything and anything, and we'd be up

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Speaker 2: to all hours and it was like when we were chatting,

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Speaker 2: it just flowed naturally, like there were no awkward moments.

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Speaker 2: We were talking literally every day, so there wasn't a

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Speaker 2: day that we missed, you know, any opportunity that I could,

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Speaker 2: I'd be like sneakingly logging in on my phone to

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Speaker 2: see if he'd left messages or you know, as soon

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Speaker 2: as I get notifications saying that, oh, you've received a

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Speaker 2: new message, I was like back on there. So it

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Speaker 2: was a kind of lust pool that had me sort

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Speaker 2: of that attracted. It was like, well, hang on, here's

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Speaker 2: someone that's someone invested in me for a change, you know,

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Speaker 2: and they're local, so it was just like, let's explore

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Speaker 2: and it was just again, Yeah, we'd chat about anything

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Speaker 2: and everything. Remember your high school crush and when you

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Speaker 2: first feel like you've met the lover of your life.

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Speaker 2: It was all giddy. It was all asking each other

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Speaker 2: about each other's lives and getting to know each other.

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Speaker 2: So how you would expect an online relationship to start.

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Speaker 2: There was that anticipation of getting messages back from him,

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Speaker 2: so it was getting really invested in lack. Well, you know,

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Speaker 2: I want to divulge information about my life to him

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Speaker 2: and see if I fit what he's looking for.

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Speaker 1: And what Kylie hasn't told us at this point is

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Speaker 1: she'd had a pretty rough trot when it came to love,

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Speaker 1: I'd been.

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Speaker 2: Through a lot. Specifically when I was younger again, I

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Speaker 2: was dating someone in the army that unfortunately was killed

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Speaker 2: in Afghanistan on active duty, and at quite a young age,

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Speaker 2: that kind of really destroyed me, and for a while

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Speaker 2: I just didn't want to date. I was just not

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Speaker 2: interested in it. It took me a while to get

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Speaker 2: back on the dating bandwagon. When I did, the relationship

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Speaker 2: I was in were awful because they were just like

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Speaker 2: filled with cheating or just disrespect or they just wouldn't

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Speaker 2: last long. So think at that point when I met

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Speaker 2: Liam online, I was at a point where I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: well I'm sick of a single pringle and the third

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Speaker 2: whell and you know, it was like, I think I'm

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Speaker 2: now in a point where I want that special piece

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Speaker 2: that was missing, so I had to go looking for it.

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Speaker 2: That wall was up massively because as soon as he

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Speaker 2: said that he was in the army, I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh no, I'm like, oh, and I just I think

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Speaker 2: not so much reacted negatively, but I had that wall

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Speaker 2: up and he could tell, and he was like, what's

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Speaker 2: your problem with people in the army? I said, well,

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Speaker 2: it's not really a problem with the people. It's a

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Speaker 2: problem with the job and you know, going to fight

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Speaker 2: wars that are not ours to fight. If things progressed,

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Speaker 2: I just didn't want to go through that again. And

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Speaker 2: he did so much to convince me that his job

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Speaker 2: wasn't that dangerous, like he was doing other things that

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Speaker 2: weren't out on the front line. And I was more like,

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Speaker 2: but you're in the army. I'm like, you're out there

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Speaker 2: basically with a gun being shot at or shooting at

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Speaker 2: other people. I'm like, your life is still at risk,

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Speaker 2: in particular when you're in Afghanistan. When you're somewhere like

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Speaker 2: Solomon Islands, they're generally your peacekeeping missions. So I kind

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Speaker 2: of knew that being in Afghanistan. It did have that

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Speaker 2: wall of like, is this the last time that I'm

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Speaker 2: ever going to hear from you? What's going to happen?

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Speaker 2: How am I going to get told? Like all those

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Speaker 2: questions did cycle back through my head, and it was

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Speaker 2: just like, because some time had passed since when I

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Speaker 2: was that young and went through that, it was like, well,

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Speaker 2: maybe try and open yourself up to again and don't

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Speaker 2: be so hard on yourself. If that's going to stop

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Speaker 2: you from finding love, then you're probably going to be

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Speaker 2: alone for the rest of your life. So it was

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Speaker 2: kind of it did take me a lot to really

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Speaker 2: drop that wall and to want to sort of pursue it.

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Speaker 1: There's no downplaying it. That's a significant trauma. So for

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Speaker 1: Kylie to have dropped her walls for someone else and

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Speaker 1: the Army was big, but their connection was obvious and

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Speaker 1: he made her feel a million bucks.

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Speaker 2: It's nice eye, it's a nice smile. Just my personality

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Speaker 2: because I am very out there considering all the things

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Speaker 2: I've been through in life, I'm still pretty much a

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Speaker 2: big goofball and just I can articulate myself. Well, it

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Speaker 2: was more just yeah. He was like, you look like

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Speaker 2: you're someone that's very down to earth, very caring, which

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Speaker 2: I am. Yeah, it was just I think he liked

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Speaker 2: what he saw too, because I did have those walls

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Speaker 2: up and the barriers, and I didn't want to sort

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Speaker 2: of drop them so easily because it was like, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to be heard again. And I did kind

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Speaker 2: of put the whole guy through the ringer in terms

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Speaker 2: of just like being so defensive and protective of myself

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Speaker 2: and him having to reassure me that no, look, you know,

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to meet you. I'm looking forward to

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Speaker 2: spending time with you. We're going to do all these

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Speaker 2: amazing things, things like going on the Harbor Cruisers road troops.

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Speaker 2: So we spoke about everything that we were going to do.

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Speaker 2: When he came to Sydney, there were gifts that were

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Speaker 2: rocking up like I'd come home to, like long stem

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Speaker 2: red roses, flowers glore. My unit at one time looked

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Speaker 2: like a florist and there were all these packages and

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Speaker 2: everything showing up, and I'm like, well, he's like really invested,

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Speaker 2: like you know, this is actually a legitimate relationship. And

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Speaker 2: that's when I started telling people I was in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: But she wasn't silly. You couldn't have an entire relationship online.

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Speaker 2: It's actually Liam that suggested getting onto Skype. I was like, yes, absolutely,

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Speaker 2: Like I want to hear this guy's voice, because, let's

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Speaker 2: face it, you know, hot guy, hot voice that you

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Speaker 2: can't be a hot guy and an ugly voice. I

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Speaker 2: was just like, being that good looking, he's got to

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Speaker 2: obviously sound hot as well. Again, very shallow, I think.

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Speaker 2: So when he suggested that we get on Skype, I

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Speaker 2: was like, yep, great. So we looked at our time

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Speaker 2: differences and we found a time that would be suitable.

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Speaker 2: Me being that professional that I was back then, it

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Speaker 2: was like, well, I'll book it in as a meeting request.

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Speaker 2: So I'd blocked out time in my diary that I

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Speaker 2: was busy, and I told my friends that. I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh no, I've got a work meeting because at that point,

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Speaker 2: again none of them knew that I was even online dating.

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Speaker 2: It was just like, oh yeah, I'm seeing someone, but

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Speaker 2: I was very vague on details and I didn't divulge much.

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Speaker 2: So we came to the skype call and it was

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Speaker 2: like I remember racing home like I was back then

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Speaker 2: again it was public transport, so I was like, hurry up, bus,

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Speaker 2: get me the f home because I've got an important call.

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Speaker 2: And it was just being really giddy, like it was

225
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Speaker 2: almost like going on your first date again as a teenager,

226
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Speaker 2: and all those butterflies and the crazy feelings. And I

227
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Speaker 2: remember logging in and just waiting for him, and then

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Speaker 2: when he popped up and it started ringing, I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh God, do I answer. I'm like so it took

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Speaker 2: a couple of minutes before I was like, all right,

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Speaker 2: let's answer. And I was on full camera, but then

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Speaker 2: there was a black screen and I was like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm like not what I was expecting. And I said

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Speaker 2: to him, oh, is there a problem with your like

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Speaker 2: visual I'm like, I can hear you, and yeah, he

236
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Speaker 2: did have a hot voice, but it was like I

237
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Speaker 2: can't see you, and he said, oh no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: I can't turn the camera on because we're not allowed

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Speaker 2: to do video calls. So I left it for a

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Speaker 2: little bit and then we'd talk and then I'd say, oh,

241
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Speaker 2: you know, if no one's around, maybe you should just

242
00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:01,690
Speaker 2: try and turn it on, even for like two seconds,

243
00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:03,890
Speaker 2: like break the law. It's all a bit of fun

244
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Speaker 2: and games. I'm like, you don't get caught, it's okay,

245
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Speaker 2: And so I was trying to convince him, and he

246
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Speaker 2: was just like, no, no, I can't. I can't. I'll

247
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Speaker 2: get really big trouble if I'm caught, like they'll put

248
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Speaker 2: me in like military prison. And so we moved from

249
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Speaker 2: being an online chat to more skype chats, and every

250
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:23,890
Speaker 2: time the camera wasn't working, me being me, I would

251
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Speaker 2: keep trying to get him to turn the camera on

252
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Speaker 2: or maybe use a phone somewhere quietly in like the

253
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Speaker 2: bunk rooms and stuff, and it just wouldn't happen. So

254
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Speaker 2: that was kind of the first point where I was like, Okay,

255
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Speaker 2: why doesn't he want to be on camera with me?

256
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Speaker 2: Like we've been talking for all this time, Like what's

257
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Speaker 2: gone on? Is there something wrong with him? Like has

258
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Speaker 2: he got something on his face that I'm not going

259
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Speaker 2: to like? So I went through all these possible different

260
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Speaker 2: scenarios of why isn't he turning his camera.

261
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Speaker 1: On, but they did speak a lot. It's not like

262
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Speaker 1: he wasn't real. And soon things between them became even

263
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Speaker 1: more real too.

264
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Speaker 2: I think the official of oh will you be my

265
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Speaker 2: girlfriend thing kind of came in the delivery of like

266
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Speaker 2: a dozen long stem red roses with like a little

267
00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:10,410
Speaker 2: card in it that was like, literally just on it,

268
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:12,890
Speaker 2: will you be my girlfriend. I was like, was not

269
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Speaker 2: expecting it at all. Like when I got home, I

270
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,130
Speaker 2: was like, oh, passal, and I thought it was for

271
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Speaker 2: one of my housemates. And then I looked and I'm like, oh,

272
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:22,490
Speaker 2: it's mine. I'm like I haven't ordered anything. And then

273
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Speaker 2: when I opened it, I was like, oh my god,

274
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Speaker 2: so like crying and all that kind of stuff, because again,

275
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Speaker 2: at that point, I was very invested in it, and

276
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Speaker 2: I felt that this was someone I cared for and

277
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Speaker 2: was I falling for quite possibly, because there were definitely

278
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Speaker 2: feelings there. Like I was telling people, oh, you know,

279
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Speaker 2: not interested in dating, because in my mind I was

280
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Speaker 2: waiting on someone to come back and to see me,

281
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Speaker 2: and it was so to me it was definitely a relationship.

282
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Speaker 2: And even when we're on the phone, he would be like, oh,

283
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Speaker 2: you're my girl now, like you know you belong with me.

284
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Speaker 2: Our life together is going to be great. So we did,

285
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Speaker 2: I guess, reference each other as a couple, and the

286
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:01,450
Speaker 2: things that we were going to do not I or you.

287
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:04,930
Speaker 2: It was us and his daughter and all that stuff,

288
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:08,290
Speaker 2: so it felt like a legitimate relationship. It got to

289
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,330
Speaker 2: a point where we were saying I love you, and

290
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:12,730
Speaker 2: for me, that was something very hard to do because

291
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:16,530
Speaker 2: back with that partner that did unfortunately die in Afghanistan,

292
00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:18,570
Speaker 2: that was the last thing we ever said. So for

293
00:14:18,610 --> 00:14:20,730
Speaker 2: a very long time in my life, I couldn't even

294
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Speaker 2: say I love you to my own mother because it

295
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:25,770
Speaker 2: was just something that it was just too traumatic for

296
00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:27,970
Speaker 2: me to actually say, because it was like in my

297
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,690
Speaker 2: mind it was like if I tell this guy I

298
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:32,290
Speaker 2: love him, something's going to happen to take it away,

299
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:35,810
Speaker 2: and I just didn't want it to end prematurely. I

300
00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:37,650
Speaker 2: tried to put it off as long as I could,

301
00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:40,650
Speaker 2: and Liam would then start saying, oh, don't you love me?

302
00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:44,170
Speaker 2: You don't say it, and it's kind of like, was

303
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:46,490
Speaker 2: I forced into saying it? No, not really, because I

304
00:14:46,530 --> 00:14:48,170
Speaker 2: got to a point where I'm like, well, actually, no,

305
00:14:48,290 --> 00:14:50,930
Speaker 2: I think I do love this person. Because I was

306
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:53,930
Speaker 2: always thinking about them that were sending gifts. I was like,

307
00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:58,410
Speaker 2: really felt like a part of his life.

308
00:14:58,610 --> 00:15:02,650
Speaker 1: Things were perfect, well almost, and after what seems like

309
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:06,930
Speaker 1: an eternity, the inevitable finally happened. Liam was due home

310
00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:09,890
Speaker 1: from deployment. The timing couldn't have been better.

311
00:15:10,770 --> 00:15:12,370
Speaker 2: He was going to be home for my birthday, and

312
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,450
Speaker 2: I thought, what more could I asks for in terms

313
00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:16,250
Speaker 2: of a birthday present? It was like I didn't care

314
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,770
Speaker 2: what I got as long as it was him back.

315
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:22,250
Speaker 2: And we spoke about whether he would go back to

316
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,730
Speaker 2: Townsville and then come straight to Sydney, or would he

317
00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:28,970
Speaker 2: come straight in to Sydney, or would I fly back

318
00:15:29,050 --> 00:15:31,570
Speaker 2: up to Townsville. So we did talk about the dynamics

319
00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:34,250
Speaker 2: of how it would work, and we agreed that he

320
00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:37,410
Speaker 2: would go to Townsville to sort out affairs there first

321
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:40,530
Speaker 2: and then organize a trip down to Sydney and sent

322
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,570
Speaker 2: me his flight. Itinery of when he was going to

323
00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:44,330
Speaker 2: be at the airport, and I was like, great, I'll

324
00:15:44,450 --> 00:15:47,690
Speaker 2: come and meet you at the airport. On that particular day,

325
00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:50,050
Speaker 2: I got up and it was just not that I've

326
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,130
Speaker 2: ever been married, but it was like giddy, like, oh,

327
00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:53,450
Speaker 2: you know, I'm going to meet the love of my

328
00:15:53,490 --> 00:15:58,250
Speaker 2: life today and planning outfits and getting my hair done,

329
00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:03,370
Speaker 2: makeup done, all of that done, like facials, petticures, manicures like.

330
00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:05,530
Speaker 2: I went all out because I thought, well, when this

331
00:16:05,570 --> 00:16:07,610
Speaker 2: guy gets off this plane, I want to like knock

332
00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:10,810
Speaker 2: him dead. And then it was a matter of going

333
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:13,610
Speaker 2: to the airport, sitting there and watching the plane land

334
00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:14,690
Speaker 2: and the plane take off.

335
00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:18,890
Speaker 1: Yep, you heard that right. Kylie was waiting at the airport.

336
00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:20,690
Speaker 1: But Liam never got off the plane.

337
00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:24,930
Speaker 2: First of all, it was did he get on the plane?

338
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:28,090
Speaker 2: Have I missed him? Did something go wrong? And he's

339
00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:30,730
Speaker 2: not called me. I tried to call him because at

340
00:16:30,730 --> 00:16:32,210
Speaker 2: that point he had a phone too, and I had

341
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:35,850
Speaker 2: the number. The phone was off and I was just like, okay, well,

342
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:38,010
Speaker 2: maybe hasn't turned it back on yet. In the terminal,

343
00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:40,730
Speaker 2: I even went up to the counter and I said, look,

344
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:42,490
Speaker 2: you know, was this person on the plane? And of

345
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:45,090
Speaker 2: course they were always like, oh, we can't give out

346
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:46,970
Speaker 2: that information, but we can tell you the flight left

347
00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:49,850
Speaker 2: Townsville and it has arrived. All people that were checked

348
00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:52,610
Speaker 2: in got off, and I was like, that doesn't really help.

349
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:55,050
Speaker 2: So I sat at the airport just I think it

350
00:16:55,090 --> 00:16:57,930
Speaker 2: was for a good three hours, even after the flight landed,

351
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:01,370
Speaker 2: going maybe he's just lost in the terminal or I've

352
00:17:01,410 --> 00:17:05,090
Speaker 2: missed him, And so I walked around trying to see

353
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:08,330
Speaker 2: if I could find him. I was like sending texts,

354
00:17:08,490 --> 00:17:11,210
Speaker 2: probably like a maniac. He would have received about a

355
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,730
Speaker 2: hundred text messages from me going where are you? And

356
00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:16,050
Speaker 2: I think then I found like a meeting point, and

357
00:17:16,090 --> 00:17:17,490
Speaker 2: I was like, well, I'll meet here, and so I

358
00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:20,850
Speaker 2: would say, oh, look, I'm standing at this, I'd take photos.

359
00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:25,090
Speaker 2: I just started getting really frantic, and I was like,

360
00:17:25,570 --> 00:17:28,050
Speaker 2: probably a hot mess or like a hot raccoon in

361
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,450
Speaker 2: an airport, because no doubt Miss Garrel would have been

362
00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:34,410
Speaker 2: running down my face. But it was just that's when

363
00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:37,010
Speaker 2: I started to get like all the other questions of

364
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:39,170
Speaker 2: like what's going on? Like have i been made to

365
00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:41,650
Speaker 2: look like a dickhead because I'm sitting at the airport

366
00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:45,330
Speaker 2: for so long? Like what's going on? I think I

367
00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:46,970
Speaker 2: didn't really want to let it go, so I was

368
00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:50,250
Speaker 2: hopeful that maybe it was like one of those romantic

369
00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:52,410
Speaker 2: movie cliches, that he was still in the airport and

370
00:17:52,450 --> 00:17:55,170
Speaker 2: I'd find him when everyone would gone, and I was like, no,

371
00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:57,650
Speaker 2: I kind of wake up, like he's he's not here.

372
00:17:57,770 --> 00:18:00,050
Speaker 2: So on the trip home again, it was trying to

373
00:18:00,090 --> 00:18:03,690
Speaker 2: analyze what had happened, like why didn't he show up again?

374
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:08,090
Speaker 2: Trying to call them messages. It was like literally going

375
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:11,090
Speaker 2: mannik as to like what's happened? Like what's going on?

376
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:15,410
Speaker 2: Itinery like everything you know, and messages of him saying

377
00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:18,210
Speaker 2: I'm at the airport, we're boarding the plane, and I

378
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:20,850
Speaker 2: was like, I think that fueled the excitement too, but

379
00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:23,210
Speaker 2: then to have that all crashed down, it was just

380
00:18:23,290 --> 00:18:26,530
Speaker 2: like gutted. I think it was pretty much just like

381
00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:29,210
Speaker 2: someone had ripped in, like reached in and just ripped

382
00:18:29,210 --> 00:18:30,930
Speaker 2: my heart right out of my chest and it was

383
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,570
Speaker 2: just like okay, like does he not like me? And

384
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,410
Speaker 2: he just didn't want to tell me? So is that

385
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:37,730
Speaker 2: why he didn't get on the plane? Like it was

386
00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:45,250
Speaker 2: all just a mess, like I was a mess. It

387
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:48,730
Speaker 2: brought back all the past of all the relationships I've

388
00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:50,610
Speaker 2: been in. It was just like, oh my god, here's

389
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,290
Speaker 2: another one that just doesn't want to be with me.

390
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,930
Speaker 2: Isn't man enough to tell me he doesn't want to

391
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:57,410
Speaker 2: be with me? And then there was that exactly that

392
00:18:57,530 --> 00:18:59,690
Speaker 2: like Okay, I've said I love you to this guy

393
00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:01,930
Speaker 2: and did that scar him off? And so that was

394
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,850
Speaker 2: kind of one of the other avenues I went down.

395
00:19:03,890 --> 00:19:07,010
Speaker 2: He's like, Okay, maybe this is life's way of saying, Nah,

396
00:19:07,090 --> 00:19:09,170
Speaker 2: you don't deserve this, so I'm taking it off you.

397
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:12,530
Speaker 2: So I became really angry at life because it was

398
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,810
Speaker 2: just like, you know, I tell someone I love them

399
00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,930
Speaker 2: and then they disappear. I'm like, so it kind of

400
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:20,170
Speaker 2: put me back into an angry stage of like, I

401
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,810
Speaker 2: just I don't want to date anymore. I was angry.

402
00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:24,850
Speaker 2: It was like, God, help if he messages me or

403
00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:27,170
Speaker 2: calls me, because I was going to rip him apart.

404
00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:31,730
Speaker 1: He did message her though, four days later.

405
00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:36,050
Speaker 2: And it was like a really sob story of a message.

406
00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:39,410
Speaker 2: It was more like, hey, babe, I'm so so sorry.

407
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:43,170
Speaker 2: Something came up. I couldn't get there. And I was like, okay, well,

408
00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:45,730
Speaker 2: what was the something that was so important that you

409
00:19:45,730 --> 00:19:48,570
Speaker 2: would sacrifice an airfair, which, let's face it, they're not cheap,

410
00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:51,210
Speaker 2: and he was like, Oh, my daughter's really sick. She's

411
00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:55,370
Speaker 2: in hospital, she needs all this medication. I didn't know

412
00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:58,490
Speaker 2: what to do. I didn't think to call, and I

413
00:19:58,570 --> 00:20:00,450
Speaker 2: was like, well, shouldn't I have been at least the

414
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,050
Speaker 2: first phone call to say, hey, you know, something's up

415
00:20:03,090 --> 00:20:05,410
Speaker 2: with my daughter. I can't make it, I said. I

416
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:07,970
Speaker 2: would have been pretty understanding, I said, but to not

417
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:10,850
Speaker 2: show up. I'm like, I'll keep it g rated. But

418
00:20:11,730 --> 00:20:16,490
Speaker 2: did let loose some really some really absolute crazy language,

419
00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:19,810
Speaker 2: because I was just absolutely pessed off to the max.

420
00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:22,250
Speaker 2: It was just like, I don't think you understood. Like

421
00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:25,730
Speaker 2: I sat at the airport for hours waiting for you,

422
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:31,050
Speaker 2: looking like a fucking moron, crying, running around, frantic messaging

423
00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:33,490
Speaker 2: like a maniac, and you were never on the plane,

424
00:20:33,530 --> 00:20:36,050
Speaker 2: and you could have saved me that drama by at

425
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:38,530
Speaker 2: least calling and saying, hey, something's come up, and I

426
00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:42,690
Speaker 2: would have understood. Well, I'm like, it's not really good enough.

427
00:20:42,730 --> 00:20:45,730
Speaker 2: Like I get that you're a father, but you've also

428
00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:48,130
Speaker 2: invested all this time into someone. I'm like, you couldn't

429
00:20:48,170 --> 00:20:51,610
Speaker 2: even give me the respect or the decency of saying, hey,

430
00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:55,090
Speaker 2: you know, something's come up. I think in his mindset too,

431
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,330
Speaker 2: Like again he was all, oh, I'm so sorry, Like

432
00:20:57,410 --> 00:20:59,130
Speaker 2: I should have called. I should have you know, it

433
00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:01,010
Speaker 2: was all these I should have I should have done this,

434
00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:03,170
Speaker 2: I should have done that, and he just then kept

435
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:05,770
Speaker 2: sending more gifts. So it was like, well, red roses

436
00:21:05,810 --> 00:21:07,370
Speaker 2: aren't going to cut it all the time that you

437
00:21:07,450 --> 00:21:11,330
Speaker 2: fuck up, like you can't fix problems with flowers or

438
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,450
Speaker 2: gifts and stuff like that. So I was just like

439
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,090
Speaker 2: to the point of even throwing them out or giving

440
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,810
Speaker 2: them away to people because it was like I just

441
00:21:17,850 --> 00:21:20,290
Speaker 2: didn't want them. It was like, it's not the apology

442
00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:23,090
Speaker 2: I wanted. It's like I wanted a face to face apology,

443
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,810
Speaker 2: like make it right and do the right thing and

444
00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:28,250
Speaker 2: come and see me like you said you would. So

445
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:31,770
Speaker 2: it kind of it was our first fight, I guess, but.

446
00:21:31,850 --> 00:21:34,890
Speaker 1: She ended up forgiving him. She wouldn't forget, but he

447
00:21:35,090 --> 00:21:38,090
Speaker 1: was really sorry, and she wasn't selfish. She knew, of

448
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,930
Speaker 1: course he had to put his child first. So after

449
00:21:41,010 --> 00:21:44,290
Speaker 1: she calmed down and he apologized about three hundred more times,

450
00:21:44,690 --> 00:21:47,650
Speaker 1: they agreed she would fly up to him in Townsville.

451
00:21:48,490 --> 00:21:51,890
Speaker 2: I looked at making plans into going up to Townsville

452
00:21:51,930 --> 00:21:54,490
Speaker 2: to see family for Christmas, and I thought I could

453
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:56,690
Speaker 2: tie it in with a trip to him, And when

454
00:21:56,730 --> 00:21:58,890
Speaker 2: I told him, he was over the moon, much like

455
00:21:58,970 --> 00:22:00,930
Speaker 2: I was when he said that he was going to

456
00:22:00,930 --> 00:22:03,090
Speaker 2: be coming to Sydney. He was all like, oh, that

457
00:22:03,130 --> 00:22:05,290
Speaker 2: would be amazing, Like I can't wait to see you.

458
00:22:05,690 --> 00:22:09,010
Speaker 2: Like we could do some amazing things in Townsville. Well

459
00:22:09,050 --> 00:22:10,970
Speaker 2: I know Townsville. Well, so yeah, I could show you

460
00:22:11,010 --> 00:22:14,010
Speaker 2: my old favor spots and all that kind of stuff.

461
00:22:14,010 --> 00:22:16,010
Speaker 2: And he was like, yep, no, that's cool. And I said,

462
00:22:16,050 --> 00:22:19,050
Speaker 2: well we could even consider because the troop in between

463
00:22:19,130 --> 00:22:22,330
Speaker 2: Townsville and North Queensland, where my family's from, it was

464
00:22:22,330 --> 00:22:24,210
Speaker 2: only about five hours. So I'm like, we could even

465
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:26,570
Speaker 2: do a road trip together, so I can fly into

466
00:22:26,610 --> 00:22:29,130
Speaker 2: Townsville and then we can go up and see them.

467
00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:30,930
Speaker 2: I'm like, because, let's face it, road trips are a

468
00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:33,650
Speaker 2: great way to spend time with people with bad dad

469
00:22:33,730 --> 00:22:36,050
Speaker 2: jokes and all that kind of stuff that I pull out,

470
00:22:36,170 --> 00:22:39,170
Speaker 2: so all the crazy stuff, and he was all for it.

471
00:22:39,250 --> 00:22:41,490
Speaker 2: He was like, yep, great. So then we started looking

472
00:22:41,530 --> 00:22:44,690
Speaker 2: at dates and all that stuff, and I looked at

473
00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,650
Speaker 2: schedule and that I think the first thing I did

474
00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:48,210
Speaker 2: when I went to work the next day was like

475
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,370
Speaker 2: put in for annual leave and I said, all right, great,

476
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:52,570
Speaker 2: I want I think it was four weeks off, so

477
00:22:52,730 --> 00:22:55,970
Speaker 2: taking Christmas through to the New year period off to

478
00:22:56,050 --> 00:22:59,170
Speaker 2: go back home basically, and so then from there we

479
00:22:59,210 --> 00:23:01,290
Speaker 2: just started talking about all the things that we would

480
00:23:01,330 --> 00:23:04,570
Speaker 2: do and the countdown. So it was kind of somewhat

481
00:23:04,610 --> 00:23:07,810
Speaker 2: he was kind of forgiven for the whole airport thing

482
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:09,650
Speaker 2: because I'm like, oh, look, just let it go. Otherwise

483
00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:11,810
Speaker 2: you're going to be angry for your whole life. You'll

484
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:15,130
Speaker 2: probably wreck this. And relationships they all fight, and that

485
00:23:15,250 --> 00:23:17,930
Speaker 2: was our first fight. So it was like, as a couple,

486
00:23:18,050 --> 00:23:21,370
Speaker 2: you're gonna have fights, regardless if it's online or in person.

487
00:23:21,890 --> 00:23:27,090
Speaker 1: Then the day arrived, he asked.

488
00:23:26,810 --> 00:23:28,930
Speaker 2: If I wanted to be picked up from the airport,

489
00:23:28,930 --> 00:23:30,450
Speaker 2: and I said, no, Look that's okay. I'll get a

490
00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:32,570
Speaker 2: rental car because if we're going to drive up to

491
00:23:33,210 --> 00:23:35,570
Speaker 2: Cannes and Mariba and all that kind of area, I'm like,

492
00:23:35,610 --> 00:23:37,010
Speaker 2: we're going to need a car. So I was like,

493
00:23:37,050 --> 00:23:39,210
Speaker 2: I'll get a rental car. I'm like, I'll just grab

494
00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:41,130
Speaker 2: your address and i'll come meet you. I said, this

495
00:23:41,250 --> 00:23:43,570
Speaker 2: is my flight details. I'm like, by the time I

496
00:23:43,610 --> 00:23:46,450
Speaker 2: get out of the airport, get the car, get to

497
00:23:46,530 --> 00:23:48,970
Speaker 2: your plate. So it would have been mid morning that

498
00:23:49,050 --> 00:23:51,810
Speaker 2: I would have gotten up there. When I got there,

499
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,330
Speaker 2: I called and I said, oh, I'm like just off

500
00:23:54,330 --> 00:23:56,330
Speaker 2: the plane. Now, I'm just going to go pick up

501
00:23:56,330 --> 00:23:58,530
Speaker 2: the car and I'll be at yours within about twenty

502
00:23:58,610 --> 00:24:02,810
Speaker 2: twenty five minutes. And he was all excited and everything,

503
00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:05,090
Speaker 2: and I was like remember sitting in the car, going,

504
00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:07,290
Speaker 2: oh my god, like, now we're actually going to meet

505
00:24:07,330 --> 00:24:09,610
Speaker 2: and he can't run because I'm going to be at

506
00:24:09,650 --> 00:24:12,410
Speaker 2: his house. I'm like, what's the worst thing that can happen.

507
00:24:12,490 --> 00:24:14,250
Speaker 2: Maybe he'll open up the door and slam it in

508
00:24:14,290 --> 00:24:17,570
Speaker 2: my face, or like all of those scenarios were going

509
00:24:17,610 --> 00:24:19,810
Speaker 2: through my head of like, Okay, now we're going to meet.

510
00:24:19,890 --> 00:24:22,330
Speaker 2: It's like what will I do when I first see him?

511
00:24:22,330 --> 00:24:23,530
Speaker 2: Am I going to kiss him? Am I going to

512
00:24:23,610 --> 00:24:25,210
Speaker 2: hug him? Am I going to slap him? Am I

513
00:24:25,250 --> 00:24:27,170
Speaker 2: going to punch him for all the bad stuff? Am

514
00:24:27,210 --> 00:24:29,410
Speaker 2: I going to let it all out? Or is it

515
00:24:29,450 --> 00:24:31,410
Speaker 2: just going to be crazy town? Slam the door and

516
00:24:31,490 --> 00:24:34,050
Speaker 2: off we go into the bedroom for a few hours.

517
00:24:34,810 --> 00:24:36,850
Speaker 2: So all of that was going through my head while

518
00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:38,970
Speaker 2: I was driving, and I remember even when I pulled

519
00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:42,410
Speaker 2: up out the front of the place, I was just like, oh, oh,

520
00:24:42,490 --> 00:24:45,570
Speaker 2: I get it together. Like I was just giddy. It

521
00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:49,250
Speaker 2: was like again that feeling of your first ever relationship

522
00:24:49,370 --> 00:24:51,610
Speaker 2: and you're just like, oh, you know, I'm about to

523
00:24:51,610 --> 00:24:54,170
Speaker 2: meet this man that I've like given so much of

524
00:24:54,210 --> 00:24:56,970
Speaker 2: my time too, and like a large piece of me

525
00:24:57,090 --> 00:25:00,090
Speaker 2: being my heart. And I remember walking up the footpath

526
00:25:00,130 --> 00:25:01,690
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, is this what it's like when

527
00:25:01,770 --> 00:25:03,690
Speaker 2: guys are walking up to pick you up for your

528
00:25:03,730 --> 00:25:06,290
Speaker 2: first date? And I'm like, it's normally the other way around,

529
00:25:06,290 --> 00:25:10,250
Speaker 2: but I'm not traditional with something. So I remember knocking

530
00:25:10,290 --> 00:25:13,250
Speaker 2: on the door and again, like my tonsils, I was

531
00:25:13,290 --> 00:25:15,930
Speaker 2: constantly swallowing, like with nerves, and I'm like, get it

532
00:25:16,010 --> 00:25:19,810
Speaker 2: to keeviy more on, like you know, you're in your thirties,

533
00:25:19,850 --> 00:25:21,570
Speaker 2: like you should have this shit all down back.

534
00:25:22,210 --> 00:25:25,570
Speaker 1: The moment was here, So knocked on the.

535
00:25:25,530 --> 00:25:29,770
Speaker 2: Door and constantly swallowing through nerves, and then the door opened,

536
00:25:29,970 --> 00:25:33,450
Speaker 2: and I remember all that excitement just turning to shock

537
00:25:33,570 --> 00:25:35,850
Speaker 2: because it was an old lady standing at the door.

538
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:44,690
Speaker 2: So I was just frozen, like I couldn't even move

539
00:25:44,930 --> 00:25:50,050
Speaker 2: my hands, my feet, couldn't talk. I was just literally gobsmacked.

540
00:25:50,130 --> 00:25:53,170
Speaker 2: And this lovely little old lady is come. You're a

541
00:25:53,250 --> 00:25:55,930
Speaker 2: right deer, like are you okay? Like what can I

542
00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:58,130
Speaker 2: help you with? Like are you here to sell something?

543
00:25:58,250 --> 00:26:00,370
Speaker 2: And I was just like at that point, I just

544
00:26:00,450 --> 00:26:03,850
Speaker 2: started crying, like I broke down on this lady's doorstep

545
00:26:03,890 --> 00:26:06,090
Speaker 2: and I'm thinking, oh my god, like I look like

546
00:26:06,490 --> 00:26:09,090
Speaker 2: the biggest fall. And then eventually I got the courriage

547
00:26:09,170 --> 00:26:11,970
Speaker 2: up and I was like, I'm looking for Liam and

548
00:26:12,010 --> 00:26:15,250
Speaker 2: she was like who, I said, Liam? I'm like, is

549
00:26:15,250 --> 00:26:19,090
Speaker 2: that maybe your grandson? Or am I any relation? She's like,

550
00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:23,890
Speaker 2: oh no, like I don't know. Liam doesn't live here.

551
00:26:24,570 --> 00:26:27,010
Speaker 2: And I was just like not at all, Like how

552
00:26:27,050 --> 00:26:29,330
Speaker 2: long have you lived in this house? Like did you

553
00:26:29,370 --> 00:26:32,490
Speaker 2: recently move in? Have I got the right address? So

554
00:26:32,570 --> 00:26:36,330
Speaker 2: I started just going frantic again with all these questions

555
00:26:36,370 --> 00:26:39,250
Speaker 2: and firing them at this poor little old lady, And

556
00:26:39,530 --> 00:26:41,730
Speaker 2: it was just like trying to understand in my head

557
00:26:41,770 --> 00:26:44,450
Speaker 2: when all along, all I'm telling myself is like what

558
00:26:44,490 --> 00:26:48,370
Speaker 2: the fuck? Every time I'm asking questions, but my brain's

559
00:26:48,450 --> 00:26:52,010
Speaker 2: like what the fuck? Jumped in the car and I

560
00:26:52,090 --> 00:26:55,130
Speaker 2: drove up to see my family and I didn't even

561
00:26:55,650 --> 00:26:58,930
Speaker 2: mention anything, like I just bottled it up, because again,

562
00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:02,010
Speaker 2: the point that online dating at that point was something

563
00:27:02,130 --> 00:27:05,210
Speaker 2: that people didn't really talk about or it was seen

564
00:27:05,210 --> 00:27:08,210
Speaker 2: as like the weird way of meeting people. It was like,

565
00:27:08,690 --> 00:27:10,610
Speaker 2: I don't want my family to know that I've been

566
00:27:10,730 --> 00:27:13,170
Speaker 2: like that. I'm I met this person online and I

567
00:27:13,210 --> 00:27:15,610
Speaker 2: don't want them to know that I'm going through this

568
00:27:15,690 --> 00:27:17,850
Speaker 2: kind of trauma. Like Christmas is meant to be happy.

569
00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:22,250
Speaker 2: I hadn't been back home for Christmas in quite some time,

570
00:27:22,330 --> 00:27:24,010
Speaker 2: so it was a while that i'd been home, so

571
00:27:24,050 --> 00:27:26,610
Speaker 2: it was like, I just want to enjoy it, enjoy

572
00:27:26,650 --> 00:27:29,290
Speaker 2: the time with family, friends, And I was just like,

573
00:27:29,370 --> 00:27:31,530
Speaker 2: I'll deal with all the other crap on my own.

574
00:27:31,570 --> 00:27:33,890
Speaker 2: Like I didn't even tell my best friend and we

575
00:27:34,090 --> 00:27:36,490
Speaker 2: have known each other since high school, and the people

576
00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:39,490
Speaker 2: closest to me, I just didn't even tell a soul,

577
00:27:39,610 --> 00:27:42,730
Speaker 2: Like I lived through the whole thing on my own

578
00:27:42,770 --> 00:27:45,890
Speaker 2: and just bottled it up. And anytime people would ask

579
00:27:45,930 --> 00:27:48,410
Speaker 2: about Liam, I was just like, oh no, he's still overseas.

580
00:27:48,450 --> 00:27:51,210
Speaker 2: So I was lying to my inner circle because I

581
00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:53,370
Speaker 2: didn't want to look like the dickhead that I felt

582
00:27:53,410 --> 00:27:58,570
Speaker 2: like I was. I became very, very angry, like I

583
00:27:58,730 --> 00:28:01,290
Speaker 2: was no longer the sweet and innocent person or the

584
00:28:01,290 --> 00:28:03,850
Speaker 2: sweet person that I can be. I just like ripped

585
00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:06,410
Speaker 2: all that off, and I was just going mental. I

586
00:28:06,530 --> 00:28:09,690
Speaker 2: was like constantly calling and the phone wasn't answering, so

587
00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:12,050
Speaker 2: he wasn't even picking up the phone like had kind

588
00:28:12,050 --> 00:28:14,250
Speaker 2: of in a sense cut communication with me for a bit,

589
00:28:14,810 --> 00:28:16,690
Speaker 2: and then I was just like what the hell. So

590
00:28:16,730 --> 00:28:20,650
Speaker 2: I'd be messaging constantly again, like just really throwing a

591
00:28:20,730 --> 00:28:23,050
Speaker 2: tirade of abuse at him, and I got to a

592
00:28:23,050 --> 00:28:24,610
Speaker 2: point that I'm like, you know, I'm not going to

593
00:28:24,690 --> 00:28:26,890
Speaker 2: let this interrupt the time with my family. I'll have

594
00:28:27,530 --> 00:28:30,050
Speaker 2: my time and then I'll deal with that crap when

595
00:28:30,050 --> 00:28:31,090
Speaker 2: I get back to Sydney.

596
00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:35,570
Speaker 1: The whole time Kylie was in Townsville for three weeks,

597
00:28:36,010 --> 00:28:37,770
Speaker 1: she didn't hear a word from him.

598
00:28:38,170 --> 00:28:40,250
Speaker 2: That's all I wanted to know, was like the what

599
00:28:40,730 --> 00:28:44,290
Speaker 2: why aren't you meeting me? And then, surprisingly enough, I

600
00:28:44,370 --> 00:28:46,930
Speaker 2: think it was about three and a half weeks and

601
00:28:46,970 --> 00:28:49,570
Speaker 2: another package arrives and it was a whole big sub

602
00:28:49,610 --> 00:28:52,610
Speaker 2: story of oh, I'm sorry, and it was like cute

603
00:28:52,610 --> 00:28:55,450
Speaker 2: little teddy bears and like just trying to buy me back,

604
00:28:55,490 --> 00:28:58,090
Speaker 2: and it was just like I was just aggressive and

605
00:28:58,170 --> 00:29:00,450
Speaker 2: it was just like what was the excuse this time?

606
00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:02,570
Speaker 2: And again it was his daughter and it was like

607
00:29:02,810 --> 00:29:05,330
Speaker 2: you kind of can't keep using your kid as an excuse.

608
00:29:06,050 --> 00:29:08,530
Speaker 2: I'm like, I went to your address and I was like,

609
00:29:08,570 --> 00:29:10,610
Speaker 2: what the fuck? You gave me some old ladies address

610
00:29:10,650 --> 00:29:13,410
Speaker 2: and he was like, oh, that's my grandma's house. I'm like, well,

611
00:29:13,410 --> 00:29:16,370
Speaker 2: your grandma doesn't even remember you, because she was like, no,

612
00:29:16,490 --> 00:29:18,930
Speaker 2: Liam lives there. And he was like, oh, well she

613
00:29:18,970 --> 00:29:21,490
Speaker 2: suffers dementia and all that. I said, no, demensia patients

614
00:29:21,530 --> 00:29:24,330
Speaker 2: that bad. Like he was just trying to backtrack and

615
00:29:24,370 --> 00:29:26,410
Speaker 2: it was just like Noah, like you're being caught out.

616
00:29:26,450 --> 00:29:28,530
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's not in nana's house. I'm like, who's

617
00:29:28,530 --> 00:29:30,850
Speaker 2: our dress did you give me? And he was like, oh,

618
00:29:30,890 --> 00:29:32,810
Speaker 2: it was a mate's mom's house. And I said, well,

619
00:29:33,090 --> 00:29:35,570
Speaker 2: why would you send me to the wrong address. I'm like,

620
00:29:35,610 --> 00:29:38,170
Speaker 2: do you even live in that part of town? When

621
00:29:38,170 --> 00:29:40,730
Speaker 2: he was like no, I don't. And I was like okay,

622
00:29:40,770 --> 00:29:43,050
Speaker 2: I'm like so again, why would you give me a

623
00:29:43,050 --> 00:29:46,170
Speaker 2: wrong address? And he was I got nervous. I didn't

624
00:29:46,170 --> 00:29:49,010
Speaker 2: know what you would think of me. I was scared.

625
00:29:49,090 --> 00:29:50,570
Speaker 2: I was like, well, if you were scared, we could

626
00:29:50,570 --> 00:29:53,050
Speaker 2: have met in a public place. I'm like that would

627
00:29:53,050 --> 00:29:55,330
Speaker 2: have been probably more safer for both of us, Like,

628
00:29:55,490 --> 00:29:57,530
Speaker 2: there's plenty of places we could have met on the beach,

629
00:29:57,610 --> 00:29:59,490
Speaker 2: could have met in the mall, could have met at

630
00:29:59,490 --> 00:30:02,170
Speaker 2: the picture theater, Like, there's so many different places we

631
00:30:02,210 --> 00:30:06,250
Speaker 2: could have met. That's not good enough. I said, until

632
00:30:06,410 --> 00:30:08,370
Speaker 2: you tell me the truth. And I said, nothing but

633
00:30:08,490 --> 00:30:10,370
Speaker 2: the truth. I'm like, I don't even really want to

634
00:30:10,370 --> 00:30:12,530
Speaker 2: hear from you because I was just so angry, and

635
00:30:12,890 --> 00:30:14,770
Speaker 2: he just kept sending gifts and it was like, no,

636
00:30:15,050 --> 00:30:19,090
Speaker 2: you can't keep buying people with gifts. I'm like, it's okay, great,

637
00:30:19,130 --> 00:30:21,810
Speaker 2: you've got money, but that's good. I'm like, obviously you

638
00:30:21,850 --> 00:30:24,370
Speaker 2: need to be spending it elsewhere. Because at that point,

639
00:30:24,410 --> 00:30:27,410
Speaker 2: I'd had enough, like I wanted out. There were lots

640
00:30:27,410 --> 00:30:29,690
Speaker 2: of things that were going through my mind. I was like,

641
00:30:29,890 --> 00:30:32,650
Speaker 2: h is he actually even in Australia was one of

642
00:30:32,690 --> 00:30:35,250
Speaker 2: the big ones. I was like, Okay, was he actually

643
00:30:35,290 --> 00:30:35,930
Speaker 2: even in towns?

644
00:30:35,970 --> 00:30:36,130
Speaker 1: Well?

645
00:30:36,250 --> 00:30:39,290
Speaker 2: Is he actually even in my country? I think at

646
00:30:39,290 --> 00:30:42,210
Speaker 2: that point it was like other photos actually him? Or

647
00:30:42,250 --> 00:30:46,170
Speaker 2: are they someone else? Like what could possibly go wrong

648
00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:47,890
Speaker 2: for him not to want to meet me? And then

649
00:30:48,210 --> 00:30:50,810
Speaker 2: I even started to flip it back on myself. I

650
00:30:50,850 --> 00:30:53,490
Speaker 2: was like, what's wrong with me, Like, why doesn't he

651
00:30:53,530 --> 00:30:55,610
Speaker 2: want to meet me? Like? Am I not pretty? Am

652
00:30:55,610 --> 00:30:58,290
Speaker 2: I not? Like? What was it about me that he

653
00:30:58,370 --> 00:31:02,170
Speaker 2: maybe didn't like? So I started to really break myself

654
00:31:02,210 --> 00:31:04,090
Speaker 2: down in trying to think that maybe it was me,

655
00:31:04,850 --> 00:31:07,330
Speaker 2: rather than looking at it and going, well, he's the

656
00:31:07,330 --> 00:31:09,330
Speaker 2: one with you issue, Like I put myself out there

657
00:31:09,370 --> 00:31:12,850
Speaker 2: and I just felt like it wasn't being reciprocated to

658
00:31:12,930 --> 00:31:15,610
Speaker 2: the level I deserve and expect it.

659
00:31:16,450 --> 00:31:19,570
Speaker 1: So she cut him off. She ignored his calls and messages.

660
00:31:19,850 --> 00:31:23,490
Speaker 1: She knew she deserved better. But then after a few weeks,

661
00:31:23,770 --> 00:31:25,370
Speaker 1: she started to feel really lonely.

662
00:31:26,410 --> 00:31:28,090
Speaker 2: I started to miss him, and I was like, I

663
00:31:28,130 --> 00:31:30,730
Speaker 2: missed having those initial chats, Like I would go back

664
00:31:31,050 --> 00:31:33,850
Speaker 2: and read all of our initial messages because I'd screenshot

665
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:36,130
Speaker 2: at them and saved them because it was like when

666
00:31:36,130 --> 00:31:38,450
Speaker 2: I was having a shitty day, I'd read back over them.

667
00:31:38,490 --> 00:31:40,650
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, you know, someone thinks the world of me.

668
00:31:40,770 --> 00:31:43,010
Speaker 2: So I would go back and I'd be like, well,

669
00:31:43,050 --> 00:31:45,210
Speaker 2: I want to find that relationship again, And I'm like,

670
00:31:45,530 --> 00:31:47,250
Speaker 2: I just don't want to go through the hassle of

671
00:31:47,730 --> 00:31:51,730
Speaker 2: having to troll through profiles and go through the whole hime,

672
00:31:51,890 --> 00:31:54,570
Speaker 2: my name is this again, and the old first aids

673
00:31:54,610 --> 00:31:56,850
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. I was just like, well, and

674
00:31:56,930 --> 00:31:59,450
Speaker 2: I was so invested in him. I'm like I actually

675
00:31:59,530 --> 00:32:01,930
Speaker 2: missed him. So I reached out and I was like, oh, sorry,

676
00:32:01,970 --> 00:32:03,650
Speaker 2: I was a bit of a dick, but can you

677
00:32:03,770 --> 00:32:07,170
Speaker 2: understand why I was angry? And like instantly I got

678
00:32:07,210 --> 00:32:10,530
Speaker 2: a message back, and then that's when we started talking again,

679
00:32:10,610 --> 00:32:13,130
Speaker 2: and I was just like, you know, don't ever do

680
00:32:13,170 --> 00:32:16,250
Speaker 2: that again. Like I'm a forgiving person. I'm willing to

681
00:32:16,290 --> 00:32:19,050
Speaker 2: give you another chance, but you just can't be doing

682
00:32:19,050 --> 00:32:20,650
Speaker 2: that stuff, like you need to be honest with me.

683
00:32:20,770 --> 00:32:25,490
Speaker 2: I reminded him of the past relationships and how badly

684
00:32:25,810 --> 00:32:27,890
Speaker 2: I'd been hurt, and I just didn't want to go

685
00:32:28,010 --> 00:32:30,410
Speaker 2: through that, like I wanted people to be honest with me.

686
00:32:30,490 --> 00:32:32,250
Speaker 2: And I said to him at that point, like if

687
00:32:32,290 --> 00:32:35,090
Speaker 2: you can't be honest moving forward, then let's not move forward.

688
00:32:35,170 --> 00:32:36,930
Speaker 2: Let's just cut it. And he was like no, no, no,

689
00:32:37,450 --> 00:32:41,290
Speaker 2: I'm really sincerely sorry. I'll do better. I'll be better,

690
00:32:41,450 --> 00:32:43,810
Speaker 2: and I was like okay, fine, and so yeah, I

691
00:32:43,850 --> 00:32:46,370
Speaker 2: was like all right, let's give it another go. And

692
00:32:46,410 --> 00:32:49,650
Speaker 2: then next thing we know, he's being deployed again. It

693
00:32:49,650 --> 00:32:54,090
Speaker 2: would have been the January of twenty twelve, and he

694
00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:56,370
Speaker 2: was going back pretty much at the end of that month,

695
00:32:56,450 --> 00:32:59,570
Speaker 2: so we didn't have much time in a sense. So

696
00:32:59,610 --> 00:33:02,330
Speaker 2: it was just again we went back to the chatting.

697
00:33:02,610 --> 00:33:05,290
Speaker 2: The gifts kept coming, and it was just like, all right,

698
00:33:05,330 --> 00:33:07,530
Speaker 2: well it's back on track, Like that kind of giddy

699
00:33:07,530 --> 00:33:10,170
Speaker 2: feeling was starting to come back, and of course the

700
00:33:10,490 --> 00:33:14,370
Speaker 2: feeling of concern deployment. It's the words that no one

701
00:33:14,490 --> 00:33:18,410
Speaker 2: in any sort of military family or connection wants to hear,

702
00:33:18,490 --> 00:33:20,810
Speaker 2: because you just think the worst and then you try

703
00:33:20,850 --> 00:33:23,130
Speaker 2: and find out where they're going. And when I heard

704
00:33:23,170 --> 00:33:25,330
Speaker 2: it was back to Afghanistan, I was like, oh, here

705
00:33:25,330 --> 00:33:28,170
Speaker 2: we go, Like that's when that wall came back up again,

706
00:33:28,210 --> 00:33:30,050
Speaker 2: of like oh my god, Like I'm like, you're going

707
00:33:30,130 --> 00:33:32,770
Speaker 2: to be on patrol, like watch out for landmines, like

708
00:33:32,930 --> 00:33:35,290
Speaker 2: keep looking at the ground, don't look up. Like it

709
00:33:35,410 --> 00:33:37,810
Speaker 2: was just all that trauma coming through and it was

710
00:33:37,850 --> 00:33:40,290
Speaker 2: like I even resorted to asking him if there was

711
00:33:40,330 --> 00:33:41,970
Speaker 2: any way he could get out of it, and he

712
00:33:42,090 --> 00:33:44,330
Speaker 2: was like, no, it's like it's my job back when

713
00:33:44,330 --> 00:33:47,010
Speaker 2: we're deployed, we have to go. And I was like, well,

714
00:33:47,130 --> 00:33:49,050
Speaker 2: surely there's something you can do. Like I used to

715
00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:51,930
Speaker 2: joke around about breaking his arms so he couldn't go,

716
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:54,250
Speaker 2: and he was like, no, when we get the call up,

717
00:33:54,290 --> 00:33:54,930
Speaker 2: we have to go.

718
00:33:55,610 --> 00:33:58,450
Speaker 1: So he did. They'd now been together over a year

719
00:33:58,610 --> 00:34:01,250
Speaker 1: and still hadn't met, and now they wouldn't be able

720
00:34:01,290 --> 00:34:04,610
Speaker 1: to for another six months at least. But Kylie was

721
00:34:04,650 --> 00:34:07,810
Speaker 1: determined this was her guy. She could wait.

722
00:34:08,890 --> 00:34:11,490
Speaker 2: And that's kind of where it all went downhill. From there.

723
00:34:13,610 --> 00:34:15,930
Speaker 2: It was again just all the excuses with not going

724
00:34:15,970 --> 00:34:19,930
Speaker 2: on camera, and then I started recognizing in the calls

725
00:34:20,010 --> 00:34:22,770
Speaker 2: the voices were starting to change, and I was like,

726
00:34:22,890 --> 00:34:25,930
Speaker 2: this does not sound like Liam anymore. It sounds like

727
00:34:25,970 --> 00:34:29,090
Speaker 2: I've got someone completely different on the other end of

728
00:34:29,090 --> 00:34:32,450
Speaker 2: the phone. Then I'd start hearing noises, I'd start hearing

729
00:34:32,490 --> 00:34:35,890
Speaker 2: people in the background, and I'm like, okay, Like, if

730
00:34:35,890 --> 00:34:40,570
Speaker 2: you're deployed and you're in the communications tents, I know

731
00:34:40,610 --> 00:34:43,570
Speaker 2: how noisy they can be, but there's no females in there,

732
00:34:43,930 --> 00:34:46,770
Speaker 2: like you're in a male unit. And it was just

733
00:34:47,410 --> 00:34:49,730
Speaker 2: the times that the calls were coming through as well

734
00:34:49,930 --> 00:34:53,250
Speaker 2: seem to be odd, and even some of the numbers

735
00:34:53,290 --> 00:34:55,610
Speaker 2: that were coming through. It wasn't always the same number,

736
00:34:56,090 --> 00:34:58,530
Speaker 2: and I was just like, all right, something is just

737
00:34:58,690 --> 00:35:00,930
Speaker 2: going on. I'm like, I don't know what the hell,

738
00:35:01,050 --> 00:35:03,570
Speaker 2: but it's just all weird. And then it was like

739
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:07,050
Speaker 2: other people were getting on Skype and I was just

740
00:35:07,090 --> 00:35:09,490
Speaker 2: like I called him out, don't know. I was like, hey,

741
00:35:09,490 --> 00:35:11,650
Speaker 2: what's going on. I'm like, you don't sound the same,

742
00:35:12,130 --> 00:35:14,250
Speaker 2: and he would just get aggressive. He was like, you

743
00:35:14,330 --> 00:35:17,130
Speaker 2: know what, I sound like. We've been speaking for so long.

744
00:35:17,170 --> 00:35:19,130
Speaker 2: Why would you question that I would be anyone? But

745
00:35:19,170 --> 00:35:22,010
Speaker 2: I'm not. And any time I bought up any kind

746
00:35:22,010 --> 00:35:25,530
Speaker 2: of questions of questioning who he was his character, I

747
00:35:25,690 --> 00:35:29,530
Speaker 2: was just met with aggression. From there, we sort of

748
00:35:29,890 --> 00:35:32,490
Speaker 2: it would be very rocky, like we would talk and

749
00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:35,370
Speaker 2: then not talk, and then I was just again because

750
00:35:35,410 --> 00:35:38,690
Speaker 2: I was so invested and thought that I'd actually given

751
00:35:38,730 --> 00:35:40,690
Speaker 2: this person my heart, I was like, ah, benefit of

752
00:35:40,770 --> 00:35:44,370
Speaker 2: the doubt, naive me just kept going and it was like, oh, well,

753
00:35:44,410 --> 00:35:46,690
Speaker 2: we'll get past it. We got through one deployment, we'll

754
00:35:46,690 --> 00:35:49,290
Speaker 2: get through another. But again, there were times that we

755
00:35:49,330 --> 00:35:52,130
Speaker 2: would talk, then we wouldn't talk, then we would talk

756
00:35:52,490 --> 00:35:56,050
Speaker 2: and wouldn't Gifts would still arrive, and again, like there

757
00:35:56,090 --> 00:35:58,050
Speaker 2: were times it would go back to like it was

758
00:35:58,090 --> 00:35:59,970
Speaker 2: when we first started talking. It was all like the

759
00:36:00,010 --> 00:36:02,810
Speaker 2: flirty chats, and I was like, okay, well this is

760
00:36:02,890 --> 00:36:05,410
Speaker 2: the person I've got. And so that went on for

761
00:36:06,650 --> 00:36:10,170
Speaker 2: another good part of a year because he was constantly deployed,

762
00:36:10,210 --> 00:36:12,090
Speaker 2: so he'd come back and he'd be back briefly and

763
00:36:12,090 --> 00:36:15,090
Speaker 2: then sent back again. So it was about another year

764
00:36:15,210 --> 00:36:18,130
Speaker 2: that it was pretty much rocky like that. So at

765
00:36:18,130 --> 00:36:21,450
Speaker 2: that point I was also starting to go, well, is

766
00:36:21,490 --> 00:36:23,730
Speaker 2: this a relationship I really want to be in. I

767
00:36:23,770 --> 00:36:26,170
Speaker 2: was like, I've put so much time and effort and

768
00:36:26,690 --> 00:36:29,330
Speaker 2: to a degree money into it. I was just like,

769
00:36:30,210 --> 00:36:32,410
Speaker 2: this isn't the kind of relationship that I want. It's

770
00:36:32,410 --> 00:36:34,810
Speaker 2: not the one I deserve. Like I looked at who

771
00:36:34,850 --> 00:36:36,770
Speaker 2: I was in the mirror and it was just like,

772
00:36:37,170 --> 00:36:39,090
Speaker 2: how are you? Like I thought I had a really

773
00:36:39,090 --> 00:36:41,650
Speaker 2: good grip on the kind of person I was because

774
00:36:41,650 --> 00:36:44,010
Speaker 2: I had such a great job, great friends, and it

775
00:36:44,090 --> 00:36:46,930
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, okay, I was missing a special someone.

776
00:36:46,970 --> 00:36:49,530
Speaker 2: But I was like, am I defined by having a

777
00:36:49,570 --> 00:36:52,330
Speaker 2: relationship in my life? And it was just like nah,

778
00:36:52,570 --> 00:36:54,450
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, this isn't serving me.

779
00:36:55,050 --> 00:36:57,490
Speaker 1: So she ended it. She told him over the phone.

780
00:36:57,570 --> 00:37:00,010
Speaker 1: She couldn't keep her life on hold like this anymore.

781
00:37:00,690 --> 00:37:03,730
Speaker 1: But guess what. That very day, he'd been planning to

782
00:37:03,770 --> 00:37:05,890
Speaker 1: call her with some big news.

783
00:37:06,490 --> 00:37:09,530
Speaker 2: When I finished this tour, I'm actually leaving the army

784
00:37:09,570 --> 00:37:12,210
Speaker 2: for good, Like I get my discharged and then you know,

785
00:37:12,290 --> 00:37:15,330
Speaker 2: we can do whatever we want. And but I'm going

786
00:37:15,370 --> 00:37:19,170
Speaker 2: to be relocating to Melbourne. I've got family that in

787
00:37:19,210 --> 00:37:21,810
Speaker 2: Melbourne that I can go and live with. The medical

788
00:37:21,810 --> 00:37:25,930
Speaker 2: treatment for his daughter was better in Melbourne. I was like, well,

789
00:37:25,970 --> 00:37:28,210
Speaker 2: you know, that's not so far. Said's kind of closer

790
00:37:28,210 --> 00:37:30,770
Speaker 2: than what Townsville is to Sydney. So I said, we

791
00:37:30,810 --> 00:37:33,530
Speaker 2: can still make that work. I'm like, my life is Sydney, though,

792
00:37:33,610 --> 00:37:36,250
Speaker 2: I said, But first things first, you need to be

793
00:37:36,370 --> 00:37:38,530
Speaker 2: here and we can go from there. I said, like,

794
00:37:38,570 --> 00:37:42,210
Speaker 2: when you arrive back in Melbourne, let's catch up properly

795
00:37:42,450 --> 00:37:44,530
Speaker 2: and let's make a real good go of this. I

796
00:37:44,610 --> 00:37:47,170
Speaker 2: get that it's been rocky, but if it's what you

797
00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:49,290
Speaker 2: really want, let's make it a good go. And so

798
00:37:49,370 --> 00:37:52,890
Speaker 2: it was about a couple of months when he finished

799
00:37:52,930 --> 00:37:56,090
Speaker 2: the deployment and was in Melbourne, and at that point

800
00:37:56,130 --> 00:37:58,970
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, for more time off work. So

801
00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:01,010
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I'll come down on a holiday

802
00:38:01,090 --> 00:38:03,130
Speaker 2: because again I haven't seen my family in Melbourne for

803
00:38:03,170 --> 00:38:06,250
Speaker 2: a while. And so I said, okay, well, these are

804
00:38:06,250 --> 00:38:08,290
Speaker 2: my flight details. I'm like, you can come and pick

805
00:38:08,330 --> 00:38:10,570
Speaker 2: me up from the airport. This time. I usually get

806
00:38:10,650 --> 00:38:13,050
Speaker 2: my family to pick me up, but hey, you know, like,

807
00:38:13,210 --> 00:38:16,330
Speaker 2: let's have that romantic movie moment where you get off

808
00:38:16,330 --> 00:38:18,010
Speaker 2: the plane and you see each other and you just

809
00:38:18,090 --> 00:38:21,010
Speaker 2: cry and sob and all that stuff. And he was

810
00:38:21,170 --> 00:38:24,170
Speaker 2: all for already, was like, yep, great idea, send me

811
00:38:24,290 --> 00:38:27,970
Speaker 2: flight details. So I did and got to Sydney Airport

812
00:38:28,010 --> 00:38:31,130
Speaker 2: and I messaged him saying yep, I'm here. Flight's delayed,

813
00:38:31,210 --> 00:38:33,090
Speaker 2: and I was pissed off at that. I was like, oh,

814
00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:37,130
Speaker 2: damn flight. So we're messaging the whole time and I'm like, yeah, well,

815
00:38:37,290 --> 00:38:39,050
Speaker 2: you know, the airline's saying that we're going to leave

816
00:38:39,050 --> 00:38:41,090
Speaker 2: on time now, and I'm like, oh, I'm now having

817
00:38:41,090 --> 00:38:42,850
Speaker 2: to walk from one end of the airport to the other.

818
00:38:42,970 --> 00:38:46,090
Speaker 2: And so I was giving him a running documentary of

819
00:38:46,090 --> 00:38:48,570
Speaker 2: what was happening, and then eventually got on the plane.

820
00:38:48,610 --> 00:38:50,330
Speaker 2: I said, okay, I've now go to turn my phone off,

821
00:38:50,410 --> 00:38:53,330
Speaker 2: like we're about to take off. I said, I'll see

822
00:38:53,370 --> 00:38:55,170
Speaker 2: you in an hour and a bit, depending on how

823
00:38:55,170 --> 00:38:57,210
Speaker 2: long it takes to get off the plane. And I

824
00:38:57,250 --> 00:38:59,850
Speaker 2: remember we land into Melbourne. I've got my seat belt

825
00:38:59,850 --> 00:39:02,650
Speaker 2: already undone, and it was like messaging, going, yeah, we've

826
00:39:02,690 --> 00:39:06,810
Speaker 2: just landed. I'm on the tarmac and he was messaging back, yep, great,

827
00:39:06,890 --> 00:39:09,250
Speaker 2: I can see the plane. We pull into the gate

828
00:39:09,290 --> 00:39:11,210
Speaker 2: and like I jumped up out of a seat for

829
00:39:11,290 --> 00:39:13,290
Speaker 2: the people next to me were like, you might want

830
00:39:13,290 --> 00:39:14,930
Speaker 2: to steady on, like you've got a while to get

831
00:39:14,970 --> 00:39:17,730
Speaker 2: off the plane. So I'm like no, I'm like, come on,

832
00:39:17,850 --> 00:39:21,010
Speaker 2: let's just let's get off, like go, and again, like

833
00:39:21,370 --> 00:39:23,850
Speaker 2: that whole giddiness came in of like okay, I've got

834
00:39:23,850 --> 00:39:26,570
Speaker 2: my overhead luggage. I'm about to walk off the plane

835
00:39:26,570 --> 00:39:28,930
Speaker 2: and meet someone that I've invested so much in for

836
00:39:29,770 --> 00:39:32,650
Speaker 2: two years. And I remember coming out and I'm like

837
00:39:32,690 --> 00:39:35,250
Speaker 2: looking around again and had his photo and I'm like

838
00:39:35,370 --> 00:39:38,570
Speaker 2: looking and like couldn't see and I'm like, oh, Melbourne

839
00:39:38,610 --> 00:39:41,330
Speaker 2: Airport's like Sydney Airport, busy all the time, and so

840
00:39:41,330 --> 00:39:43,690
Speaker 2: many places to look. And I was like, so I

841
00:39:43,730 --> 00:39:46,210
Speaker 2: messaged and I said, okay, I'll meet you out near

842
00:39:46,330 --> 00:39:49,650
Speaker 2: the coffee stand and there's one like out of the

843
00:39:49,690 --> 00:39:52,010
Speaker 2: main entry and he was like, yep, sounds good, and

844
00:39:52,050 --> 00:39:54,330
Speaker 2: so I went there and again I'm standing thinking where

845
00:39:54,410 --> 00:39:56,690
Speaker 2: is he. I'm like, you know, and like I kept messaging,

846
00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:59,530
Speaker 2: going I can't see you. I'm like, you know, taking

847
00:39:59,570 --> 00:40:01,770
Speaker 2: photos of my outfit, going this is what I've got on,

848
00:40:01,970 --> 00:40:06,010
Speaker 2: this is where I'm standing, and he was replying with like, oh,

849
00:40:06,090 --> 00:40:09,330
Speaker 2: I'm like still stuck in traffic. I'm like, what kind

850
00:40:09,370 --> 00:40:11,570
Speaker 2: of car are you in? And he was like, oh, why,

851
00:40:12,170 --> 00:40:14,610
Speaker 2: kid's a Holden Commodore. I was like, okay, I'll meet

852
00:40:14,650 --> 00:40:17,770
Speaker 2: you in the express car park pickup. So got myself

853
00:40:17,770 --> 00:40:20,770
Speaker 2: over there and again photo saying here I am. I

854
00:40:20,810 --> 00:40:24,330
Speaker 2: remember standing there for what seemed like hours. I'm like,

855
00:40:24,970 --> 00:40:27,290
Speaker 2: doesn't take this long to get into the airport. You've

856
00:40:27,290 --> 00:40:30,650
Speaker 2: got photos of what I'm wearing where I'm standing, pretty

857
00:40:30,690 --> 00:40:34,010
Speaker 2: easy to find me. And that point I started trying

858
00:40:34,010 --> 00:40:36,890
Speaker 2: to call and then the phone's off, so I kept

859
00:40:36,890 --> 00:40:39,530
Speaker 2: trying and I'm like, okay, I'm like I don't know

860
00:40:39,570 --> 00:40:42,370
Speaker 2: if it's my phone. So I grabbed a stranger's phone

861
00:40:42,410 --> 00:40:44,170
Speaker 2: and I think I threw like five bucks at them

862
00:40:44,170 --> 00:40:45,690
Speaker 2: and said, oh, I need to make a phone call.

863
00:40:46,010 --> 00:40:48,530
Speaker 2: So I tried from a different number off.

864
00:40:49,010 --> 00:40:53,130
Speaker 1: Her stomach dropped. This couldn't be happening. Surely something had

865
00:40:53,170 --> 00:40:55,530
Speaker 1: gone wrong between him being so close he could see

866
00:40:55,530 --> 00:40:57,130
Speaker 1: the planes landing and now.

867
00:40:58,210 --> 00:40:59,890
Speaker 2: So I gave it half an hour and tried again.

868
00:41:00,370 --> 00:41:03,210
Speaker 2: Phone still off. So then I start calling my auntie

869
00:41:03,250 --> 00:41:05,650
Speaker 2: that lives close and I was like, I'm at the airport.

870
00:41:05,770 --> 00:41:08,130
Speaker 2: My ride hasn't picked me up. Are you cool to

871
00:41:08,170 --> 00:41:09,890
Speaker 2: come and get me or is it easy just to

872
00:41:09,930 --> 00:41:12,450
Speaker 2: catch cab? And she was like, oh a tax issues,

873
00:41:12,490 --> 00:41:15,250
Speaker 2: Like I'm busy. I'm like okay, no dramas. So I did.

874
00:41:15,290 --> 00:41:18,050
Speaker 2: So I went to my aunt's house and I was like, O, well,

875
00:41:18,170 --> 00:41:19,770
Speaker 2: that was one of the other reasons I was going

876
00:41:19,850 --> 00:41:22,250
Speaker 2: there for anyway, was to see family. Got to my

877
00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:24,050
Speaker 2: Aunti's house and then he calls me and he was

878
00:41:24,090 --> 00:41:26,330
Speaker 2: like where are you And I'm like, I'm at my

879
00:41:26,370 --> 00:41:28,770
Speaker 2: aunt's house. I'm like, did you not get all my messages?

880
00:41:29,370 --> 00:41:30,770
Speaker 2: I'm like, did you think I was going to stand

881
00:41:30,770 --> 00:41:32,850
Speaker 2: around till midnight or until the police come and pick

882
00:41:32,930 --> 00:41:35,250
Speaker 2: me up for the loitering at the airport? I'm like no,

883
00:41:35,570 --> 00:41:37,450
Speaker 2: I went to my aunt's and he was like, oh,

884
00:41:37,570 --> 00:41:40,250
Speaker 2: because I'm so sorry I got stuck, and I'm like

885
00:41:40,730 --> 00:41:42,370
Speaker 2: stuck where I'm like, you told me you were in

886
00:41:42,410 --> 00:41:45,570
Speaker 2: the line for the airport traffic and he was like oh,

887
00:41:45,810 --> 00:41:49,650
Speaker 2: I kept looping around and I'm like right, and I said, oh, look,

888
00:41:49,690 --> 00:41:51,010
Speaker 2: I said, it is what it is. I said, look,

889
00:41:51,010 --> 00:41:53,050
Speaker 2: give me your address and I'll come see you tomorrow.

890
00:41:53,090 --> 00:41:56,330
Speaker 2: I'll hire a car and I'll come see you. And

891
00:41:56,370 --> 00:41:58,810
Speaker 2: so we went down that path. So Liam gives me

892
00:41:58,850 --> 00:42:02,050
Speaker 2: an address that's not quite on the other side of

893
00:42:02,090 --> 00:42:04,730
Speaker 2: Melbourne from where my aunt is, but a fair drive

894
00:42:04,770 --> 00:42:07,850
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I didn't care. And I

895
00:42:07,890 --> 00:42:10,850
Speaker 2: remember that morning getting up and again working out a

896
00:42:10,930 --> 00:42:14,570
Speaker 2: nice outfit put on and doing my hair, doing my makeup, going, oh,

897
00:42:14,650 --> 00:42:16,530
Speaker 2: you know, it's today, the day I win the lottery

898
00:42:16,730 --> 00:42:19,330
Speaker 2: and meet the guy that I've been talking to for

899
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:21,770
Speaker 2: so long and invested in, and I'm like, hopefully all

900
00:42:21,810 --> 00:42:24,730
Speaker 2: this shit will be behind us. And I remember driving

901
00:42:24,770 --> 00:42:28,490
Speaker 2: out to the address he'd given me, and let's just

902
00:42:28,570 --> 00:42:33,090
Speaker 2: say that excitement soon crashed down to earth when I

903
00:42:33,170 --> 00:42:38,410
Speaker 2: got there and it was a vacant block. I was

904
00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:42,530
Speaker 2: absolutely devastated and I think a lot worse than what

905
00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:45,770
Speaker 2: I was when I had the whole experience in Townsville.

906
00:42:45,810 --> 00:42:49,090
Speaker 2: I was just like what the fuck. I'm like, not again,

907
00:42:49,210 --> 00:42:52,450
Speaker 2: I'm like, let alone give me someone else's address, but

908
00:42:52,490 --> 00:42:55,210
Speaker 2: giving me an address that is an empty block, I'm like,

909
00:42:55,690 --> 00:42:58,330
Speaker 2: who does that to someone? I'm like, what have I

910
00:42:58,410 --> 00:43:01,570
Speaker 2: been caught in for the past two years? I was

911
00:43:01,650 --> 00:43:05,170
Speaker 2: screaming and carrying on and probably looked like an idiot

912
00:43:05,210 --> 00:43:07,610
Speaker 2: again too so for all the people around, and it

913
00:43:07,730 --> 00:43:09,730
Speaker 2: was just like, I'm like, how the fuck do I

914
00:43:09,810 --> 00:43:13,850
Speaker 2: drive back home? And my auntie what's going on? I'm like, well,

915
00:43:13,930 --> 00:43:17,050
Speaker 2: I can't. So I remember driving home and my aunt

916
00:43:17,130 --> 00:43:18,890
Speaker 2: was like, how was your time? I'm like, yeah, it

917
00:43:18,930 --> 00:43:20,570
Speaker 2: was great. You know. I caught up with friends and

918
00:43:20,730 --> 00:43:23,890
Speaker 2: just went sightseeing and you know, again more lies to

919
00:43:23,970 --> 00:43:26,770
Speaker 2: family because it was just again it was embarrassment. Like

920
00:43:27,050 --> 00:43:30,970
Speaker 2: I was overcome with so much embarrassment and I guess

921
00:43:31,730 --> 00:43:33,770
Speaker 2: so much shame in myself that it was like, how

922
00:43:33,810 --> 00:43:37,090
Speaker 2: could I be so stupid a naive? It was just like,

923
00:43:37,650 --> 00:43:40,930
Speaker 2: how are you going to explain this to people? I

924
00:43:41,010 --> 00:43:44,490
Speaker 2: sent him one final message and it was basically, go

925
00:43:44,650 --> 00:43:47,730
Speaker 2: fuck yourself. I'm done and that was it. Like I

926
00:43:47,770 --> 00:43:51,810
Speaker 2: deleted him from Skype, I deleted Skype altogether, deleted my

927
00:43:52,370 --> 00:43:53,930
Speaker 2: account on that oasis.

928
00:43:54,010 --> 00:43:58,010
Speaker 1: I was done with it, and that was it. She

929
00:43:58,090 --> 00:44:00,330
Speaker 1: had him blocked, so she didn't even have any way

930
00:44:00,370 --> 00:44:03,130
Speaker 1: to hear from him. But he didn't try either. The

931
00:44:03,250 --> 00:44:07,370
Speaker 1: jig was up. Whatever that jig was, so Kylie just

932
00:44:07,370 --> 00:44:11,570
Speaker 1: had to move on. It was painful, embarrassing and so confusing,

933
00:44:12,010 --> 00:44:14,170
Speaker 1: made all the worse by the fact she hadn't shared

934
00:44:14,210 --> 00:44:17,410
Speaker 1: what was going on with anyone. So she quietly grieved

935
00:44:17,410 --> 00:44:20,450
Speaker 1: the relationship that was and tried as best she could

936
00:44:20,730 --> 00:44:23,290
Speaker 1: to get on with her life. In fact, it wasn't

937
00:44:23,370 --> 00:44:26,570
Speaker 1: until years later it came up again at all, when

938
00:44:26,570 --> 00:44:28,770
Speaker 1: she heard of a website called Sauce Bottle.

939
00:44:29,610 --> 00:44:33,930
Speaker 2: It's basically a website that journalists or people that are

940
00:44:33,970 --> 00:44:37,770
Speaker 2: writing stories or needing something from people go on. They

941
00:44:38,050 --> 00:44:39,890
Speaker 2: list up the job, so it's kind of like air

942
00:44:39,970 --> 00:44:43,130
Speaker 2: tasker in a sense, but you're a source. Some are paid,

943
00:44:43,210 --> 00:44:46,170
Speaker 2: some are free. And I remember coming across one that

944
00:44:46,370 --> 00:44:49,290
Speaker 2: was for catfishing, and I was like, what's this And

945
00:44:49,370 --> 00:44:52,050
Speaker 2: it was around the same time that MTV brought out

946
00:44:52,130 --> 00:44:55,490
Speaker 2: the TV show Catfish, which I absolutely loved. I thought, Oh,

947
00:44:55,530 --> 00:44:58,530
Speaker 2: this show's awesome, and then when it hit home that

948
00:44:58,530 --> 00:45:00,570
Speaker 2: that's what had happened to me, I was like, Oh,

949
00:45:00,690 --> 00:45:02,970
Speaker 2: this is not so cool. I'm like, that's the same

950
00:45:02,970 --> 00:45:04,770
Speaker 2: shit that happened to me, and I'm like, they've made

951
00:45:04,770 --> 00:45:07,250
Speaker 2: a TV show out of this. And then I came

952
00:45:07,290 --> 00:45:11,090
Speaker 2: across that Bottle call out for people to tell their

953
00:45:11,130 --> 00:45:15,130
Speaker 2: stories about being catfished, and I remember sitting on it

954
00:45:15,170 --> 00:45:17,770
Speaker 2: for a while and I was like, because with Souce Bottle,

955
00:45:17,770 --> 00:45:19,610
Speaker 2: you're given deadlines that if you want to reach out

956
00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:22,530
Speaker 2: to those people you can, And I really sat on

957
00:45:22,570 --> 00:45:25,170
Speaker 2: it and I was just like, is this something that

958
00:45:25,250 --> 00:45:27,970
Speaker 2: I actually want to speak out, put my name and

959
00:45:28,010 --> 00:45:30,890
Speaker 2: my face to and admit that it had happened to me,

960
00:45:31,010 --> 00:45:33,610
Speaker 2: because like my friend saw me as someone that was

961
00:45:33,730 --> 00:45:38,170
Speaker 2: very strongheaded, very professional, very driven, like had their shit together,

962
00:45:38,210 --> 00:45:41,370
Speaker 2: and to be putting this out there, it'd be like, well,

963
00:45:41,490 --> 00:45:44,850
Speaker 2: you know, this was my weakness. And next thing I knew,

964
00:45:44,850 --> 00:45:46,930
Speaker 2: I'd responded to it like I didn't even think, and

965
00:45:46,970 --> 00:45:49,170
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, have I got the story for you?

966
00:45:49,850 --> 00:45:52,850
Speaker 1: So she told it. She wrote down and published her

967
00:45:52,890 --> 00:45:55,530
Speaker 1: whole story of what happened with Liam the way he

968
00:45:55,650 --> 00:45:59,130
Speaker 1: treated her, the gas slighting, the lies, the ghosting, and

969
00:45:59,170 --> 00:46:02,250
Speaker 1: that she still had no idea what had actually happened.

970
00:46:02,690 --> 00:46:05,650
Speaker 1: Ruffy was even who he said he was. It was

971
00:46:05,690 --> 00:46:09,210
Speaker 1: the first time she'd told anyone what had happened, like.

972
00:46:09,250 --> 00:46:12,250
Speaker 2: It was just so many people reach out, going, oh

973
00:46:12,250 --> 00:46:14,530
Speaker 2: my god, you were so brave, but why didn't you

974
00:46:14,570 --> 00:46:17,850
Speaker 2: tell us? Because again, no one knew that I'd gone

975
00:46:17,890 --> 00:46:20,890
Speaker 2: through this, and it was a wave of emotion and

976
00:46:20,930 --> 00:46:23,330
Speaker 2: it was just like, well, yeah, you know, I should

977
00:46:23,330 --> 00:46:27,010
Speaker 2: have probably told people, in particular my mum, who was

978
00:46:27,050 --> 00:46:30,250
Speaker 2: my best friend, and it was just like again I

979
00:46:30,330 --> 00:46:32,730
Speaker 2: was overcome with guilt and shame. It was just like, well,

980
00:46:32,770 --> 00:46:34,930
Speaker 2: I didn't want to, I said, because you know, one

981
00:46:35,250 --> 00:46:38,970
Speaker 2: meeting someone online is not seen as normal, and I

982
00:46:39,090 --> 00:46:41,930
Speaker 2: was worried about how people would perceive me. But a

983
00:46:41,970 --> 00:46:44,370
Speaker 2: lot of it was like, you're so brave, You're so brave,

984
00:46:45,170 --> 00:46:47,250
Speaker 2: and I thought, oh, great, you know I'd done that.

985
00:46:47,410 --> 00:46:49,410
Speaker 2: But then I thought it would stop.

986
00:46:49,490 --> 00:46:52,730
Speaker 1: But it didn't. The day after her story was published,

987
00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,250
Speaker 1: she got a call from a producer from a national

988
00:46:55,290 --> 00:46:58,010
Speaker 1: TV news show. She didn't know if she wanted to

989
00:46:58,050 --> 00:47:00,770
Speaker 1: be on TV, but agreed for the producers to try

990
00:47:00,810 --> 00:47:03,090
Speaker 1: to get to the bottom of what had happened either way.

991
00:47:03,650 --> 00:47:06,730
Speaker 2: But it was at that point that their investigators had

992
00:47:06,770 --> 00:47:09,330
Speaker 2: taken it up and I'd given all the information that

993
00:47:09,370 --> 00:47:13,370
Speaker 2: I had, and they'd actually found the people that were

994
00:47:13,730 --> 00:47:19,290
Speaker 2: pretending to be Liam, and they're like, well, Liam is

995
00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:21,570
Speaker 2: more Liam's and I'm like, what do you mean? And

996
00:47:21,610 --> 00:47:24,770
Speaker 2: they're like, it was a group of people. There's multiple people,

997
00:47:24,770 --> 00:47:27,490
Speaker 2: There's about four or five of them. It's basically a

998
00:47:27,530 --> 00:47:30,650
Speaker 2: scam ring. I'm like, what's a scam ring? And he

999
00:47:30,730 --> 00:47:33,170
Speaker 2: was like where it's multiple people that are in on

1000
00:47:33,250 --> 00:47:35,450
Speaker 2: the thing. And I was like okay, and I'm like, so,

1001
00:47:36,010 --> 00:47:39,010
Speaker 2: like Liam, is he an actual person? He goes he

1002
00:47:39,090 --> 00:47:41,690
Speaker 2: is an actual person, but we've also reached out to

1003
00:47:41,810 --> 00:47:45,650
Speaker 2: him and his photos were used by these people. So

1004
00:47:45,850 --> 00:47:49,210
Speaker 2: he's actually in the military. He has a wife and

1005
00:47:49,250 --> 00:47:52,250
Speaker 2: a daughter. Then they said to me that the Liam

1006
00:47:52,410 --> 00:47:55,890
Speaker 2: that you were speaking to was never in Australia. He's

1007
00:47:55,930 --> 00:48:00,610
Speaker 2: actually in Nigeria. And then I was like, oh my god.

1008
00:48:00,690 --> 00:48:02,850
Speaker 2: And I think that's when it had kind of really

1009
00:48:03,450 --> 00:48:06,490
Speaker 2: slapped me across the face that I was like, Fuck,

1010
00:48:06,570 --> 00:48:09,890
Speaker 2: I've been scammed. I've not only had money taken off me.

1011
00:48:10,090 --> 00:48:13,130
Speaker 2: I've had my heart ripped out, my trust, like I

1012
00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:18,570
Speaker 2: was blown to pieces. So I then sort of looked

1013
00:48:18,610 --> 00:48:21,610
Speaker 2: back over the two years that it was and I

1014
00:48:21,770 --> 00:48:24,090
Speaker 2: was like, because even a lot of my friends were saying, oh,

1015
00:48:24,130 --> 00:48:26,490
Speaker 2: he's probably not real and all this, and I'm like,

1016
00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:29,090
Speaker 2: shut up, Like he is, Like I've heard him on

1017
00:48:29,090 --> 00:48:32,330
Speaker 2: the phone. He's sending gifts, Like scams are all normally

1018
00:48:32,490 --> 00:48:35,170
Speaker 2: one way, like you're always giving, not getting, and I

1019
00:48:35,370 --> 00:48:38,330
Speaker 2: was getting things, and that's why I think I never

1020
00:48:38,370 --> 00:48:40,370
Speaker 2: saw it as a scam. But then when I sat

1021
00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:44,130
Speaker 2: back and really dissected it to the point that I

1022
00:48:44,170 --> 00:48:47,090
Speaker 2: was just like red flag number one, red flag number two,

1023
00:48:47,090 --> 00:48:50,170
Speaker 2: and like the voice changing and the camera never being on,

1024
00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:52,850
Speaker 2: like that was alarm bell number one. Like that's when

1025
00:48:52,890 --> 00:48:55,050
Speaker 2: I should have been, Like I shouldn't have let it

1026
00:48:55,090 --> 00:48:58,090
Speaker 2: go as easy as I did, just the constant excuses.

1027
00:48:58,130 --> 00:49:01,490
Speaker 2: I'm like, should I have been so forgiving? Probably not,

1028
00:49:01,730 --> 00:49:05,090
Speaker 2: Like I should have called out the bullshit when it

1029
00:49:05,210 --> 00:49:07,930
Speaker 2: was going off. Even though I was getting things, like

1030
00:49:07,970 --> 00:49:09,970
Speaker 2: I was getting the flowers and all that stuff, it

1031
00:49:10,090 --> 00:49:13,730
Speaker 2: was still I'd given up money, I'd given up more importantly,

1032
00:49:13,770 --> 00:49:17,730
Speaker 2: my emotions, and it was like, was I desperate? Probably

1033
00:49:17,770 --> 00:49:20,090
Speaker 2: a little bit. I wouldn't say I was overly desperate,

1034
00:49:20,090 --> 00:49:24,010
Speaker 2: but I think it was not desperate to have a relationship.

1035
00:49:24,050 --> 00:49:27,370
Speaker 2: It was desperate just to have that person that cherished me.

1036
00:49:27,610 --> 00:49:31,010
Speaker 2: And it was more something was missing in my life.

1037
00:49:31,050 --> 00:49:34,730
Speaker 2: And was I a little naive? Absolutely? I think that

1038
00:49:35,290 --> 00:49:38,450
Speaker 2: I'd been through so much already up until that point

1039
00:49:38,450 --> 00:49:41,130
Speaker 2: in life that it was like opening up myself again.

1040
00:49:41,370 --> 00:49:43,930
Speaker 2: Had I really thought about how was I going to

1041
00:49:43,970 --> 00:49:48,410
Speaker 2: protect myself from going through all this stuff? And I

1042
00:49:48,410 --> 00:49:50,770
Speaker 2: think i'd also not long just come out of being

1043
00:49:50,850 --> 00:49:53,330
Speaker 2: clinically depressed for a good couple of years. So it

1044
00:49:53,370 --> 00:49:56,290
Speaker 2: was like I was finding my feet and this gave

1045
00:49:56,370 --> 00:50:00,610
Speaker 2: me the confidence to be me again. The main question

1046
00:50:00,690 --> 00:50:03,370
Speaker 2: I asked myself was like, what the fuck? Who have

1047
00:50:03,450 --> 00:50:05,650
Speaker 2: I been talking to? Who's been at the end of

1048
00:50:05,650 --> 00:50:08,210
Speaker 2: the computer? Who was the person I've been talking to?

1049
00:50:08,410 --> 00:50:10,730
Speaker 2: Like who have I been pouring my heart out to?

1050
00:50:10,930 --> 00:50:14,770
Speaker 2: It was like just what the hell? Like why me?

1051
00:50:15,010 --> 00:50:17,650
Speaker 2: Was even another one? Like was I picked out of

1052
00:50:17,730 --> 00:50:20,330
Speaker 2: like millions of other profiles and I'm like, oh, let's

1053
00:50:20,330 --> 00:50:23,930
Speaker 2: destroy this person. It was more just what was wrong

1054
00:50:23,970 --> 00:50:25,610
Speaker 2: with me at that point that he didn't want to

1055
00:50:25,650 --> 00:50:28,330
Speaker 2: meet and it was again I think taking it on

1056
00:50:28,850 --> 00:50:31,170
Speaker 2: that I was a problem and it was not him.

1057
00:50:31,330 --> 00:50:34,530
Speaker 2: It was all me. So finding out Liam was a

1058
00:50:34,570 --> 00:50:38,250
Speaker 2: real person did validate me in some sense that he

1059
00:50:38,970 --> 00:50:41,970
Speaker 2: was also a victim in this because he's had his

1060
00:50:42,050 --> 00:50:46,330
Speaker 2: photos used and his identity, Like I started questioning myself, well,

1061
00:50:46,330 --> 00:50:49,170
Speaker 2: how would he be feeling with all this? How has

1062
00:50:49,210 --> 00:50:52,690
Speaker 2: that affected his family? Because I'm not one hundred percent

1063
00:50:52,770 --> 00:50:56,090
Speaker 2: sure that if he was ever contacted and told and

1064
00:50:56,170 --> 00:50:58,730
Speaker 2: we've never spoken, I've never had the opportunity to actually

1065
00:50:58,730 --> 00:51:02,090
Speaker 2: speak to the real Liam, but it would be interesting

1066
00:51:02,210 --> 00:51:04,850
Speaker 2: just to know from his point like how having your

1067
00:51:04,890 --> 00:51:08,410
Speaker 2: photos used to suck someone else in would have affected him,

1068
00:51:08,570 --> 00:51:12,090
Speaker 2: but to see that he has a family, it would

1069
00:51:12,090 --> 00:51:14,210
Speaker 2: have been gut wrenching for him.

1070
00:51:14,650 --> 00:51:17,730
Speaker 1: Kylie is incredibly strong. She's done a lot of work

1071
00:51:17,770 --> 00:51:20,050
Speaker 1: and a lot of healing, and he's in a really

1072
00:51:20,090 --> 00:51:23,370
Speaker 1: good place now of knowing who she is and understanding

1073
00:51:23,410 --> 00:51:26,410
Speaker 1: that what happened to her wasn't her fault and doesn't

1074
00:51:26,410 --> 00:51:29,170
Speaker 1: define her. She even says in some way she's glad

1075
00:51:29,210 --> 00:51:31,290
Speaker 1: it happened because of what it's taught her.

1076
00:51:32,050 --> 00:51:34,170
Speaker 2: One big thing I've taken out of all of this

1077
00:51:34,370 --> 00:51:37,690
Speaker 2: is that you don't need to have someone to define

1078
00:51:37,730 --> 00:51:40,810
Speaker 2: who you are, Like you can be an absolute individual

1079
00:51:41,090 --> 00:51:43,410
Speaker 2: on your own, and you should be and know who

1080
00:51:43,450 --> 00:51:46,490
Speaker 2: you are. And I guess the other thing too, like

1081
00:51:46,650 --> 00:51:50,250
Speaker 2: is I've learned to listen to gut instinct. Like there

1082
00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:52,250
Speaker 2: were times my gut was going off and I was

1083
00:51:52,290 --> 00:51:55,610
Speaker 2: more listening with my heart than my gut. And now

1084
00:51:55,650 --> 00:51:58,810
Speaker 2: I've learned that if your gut's telling you something something's

1085
00:51:58,850 --> 00:52:01,730
Speaker 2: not right, it one hundred percent is not right. Like,

1086
00:52:01,970 --> 00:52:04,290
Speaker 2: listen to your gut instinct. Like I know people say

1087
00:52:04,330 --> 00:52:06,090
Speaker 2: it's the old debate of your head over your heart

1088
00:52:06,130 --> 00:52:08,850
Speaker 2: and vice versa, it's actually your gut over everything else.

1089
00:52:08,930 --> 00:52:13,010
Speaker 2: Because that instinct you get when something smells like a rat,

1090
00:52:13,170 --> 00:52:13,930
Speaker 2: it is a rat.

1091
00:52:14,450 --> 00:52:17,450
Speaker 1: But she'll still never understand why it happened.

1092
00:52:18,410 --> 00:52:21,490
Speaker 2: Look, I'd love to know it. When we look at catfishing,

1093
00:52:21,890 --> 00:52:24,930
Speaker 2: people generally do it for either emotional power over a

1094
00:52:24,930 --> 00:52:28,330
Speaker 2: person or financial I was no millionaire and I'm still

1095
00:52:28,330 --> 00:52:30,730
Speaker 2: not a millionaire, so they were never going to get

1096
00:52:30,810 --> 00:52:32,730
Speaker 2: large sums of money out of me. But I think

1097
00:52:32,930 --> 00:52:36,370
Speaker 2: it was more just that emotional power to control someone

1098
00:52:36,690 --> 00:52:39,650
Speaker 2: I don't know, like it's just really dog act to

1099
00:52:39,690 --> 00:52:43,450
Speaker 2: do to someone. I jumped back into the dating world

1100
00:52:43,490 --> 00:52:44,850
Speaker 2: again because I was like, I'm not going to let

1101
00:52:44,850 --> 00:52:47,370
Speaker 2: this define me. But again, it did take a good

1102
00:52:47,930 --> 00:52:50,610
Speaker 2: couple of years to sort of rebuild myself because I

1103
00:52:50,650 --> 00:52:52,890
Speaker 2: was just like, I'm not going through that shit again.

1104
00:52:53,330 --> 00:52:55,890
Speaker 2: And I didn't even get back on online dating for

1105
00:52:56,250 --> 00:52:57,930
Speaker 2: I think it was a good five ten years, like

1106
00:52:58,010 --> 00:52:59,810
Speaker 2: i'd left it for a while, like it's something I've

1107
00:52:59,890 --> 00:53:02,690
Speaker 2: kind of only just dabbled back in in the last

1108
00:53:02,770 --> 00:53:05,690
Speaker 2: couple of years because I threw myself into work, like

1109
00:53:05,730 --> 00:53:10,810
Speaker 2: I've changed jobs and industries, I've studied, I've graduated UNI,

1110
00:53:10,970 --> 00:53:14,810
Speaker 2: I've had reallylationships. I've grown a lot currently not in one,

1111
00:53:15,010 --> 00:53:17,970
Speaker 2: but that doesn't upset me anymore. It's like, well, you know,

1112
00:53:18,010 --> 00:53:21,370
Speaker 2: I've got a lot going on in life that dating's

1113
00:53:21,530 --> 00:53:24,570
Speaker 2: the least of my worries at the moment. So am

1114
00:53:24,650 --> 00:53:26,930
Speaker 2: I open to it in the future. Absolutely, But at

1115
00:53:27,010 --> 00:53:29,970
Speaker 2: least now I know if I go back onto those

1116
00:53:30,050 --> 00:53:32,370
Speaker 2: online apps, it's a matter of I know what to

1117
00:53:32,410 --> 00:53:35,570
Speaker 2: look out for. I have had those giddy feelings again,

1118
00:53:35,810 --> 00:53:38,210
Speaker 2: and it was good to have them and know that

1119
00:53:38,290 --> 00:53:40,530
Speaker 2: I still had them. Within me because for so long

1120
00:53:40,650 --> 00:53:42,890
Speaker 2: I had put that wall back up. I've now been

1121
00:53:42,930 --> 00:53:46,610
Speaker 2: able to sort of master that mindset of breaking down

1122
00:53:46,650 --> 00:53:50,050
Speaker 2: things and being careful and really analyzing things before I

1123
00:53:50,090 --> 00:53:53,130
Speaker 2: take that jump. But definitely had those feelings and would

1124
00:53:53,130 --> 00:53:54,690
Speaker 2: love to have them at some point again.

1125
00:53:55,490 --> 00:53:57,850
Speaker 1: And she wants to keep working to break down the

1126
00:53:57,930 --> 00:54:01,530
Speaker 1: stigma about being scammed and help stop it from happening

1127
00:54:01,610 --> 00:54:01,930
Speaker 1: to them.

1128
00:54:02,610 --> 00:54:05,010
Speaker 2: Look, the reasons that scammers do these kind of things,

1129
00:54:05,610 --> 00:54:09,010
Speaker 2: there's such a wide range of reasons. I mean, if

1130
00:54:09,010 --> 00:54:11,330
Speaker 2: they're people that know the person that they're going to catfish,

1131
00:54:11,770 --> 00:54:13,930
Speaker 2: it'd be because you don't like a kid at school,

1132
00:54:14,210 --> 00:54:16,130
Speaker 2: or you don't like someone you work with, or you're

1133
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:19,890
Speaker 2: jealous or whatever. It's still no reason to pretend that

1134
00:54:19,930 --> 00:54:22,130
Speaker 2: you're someone that you're not because, like, let's face it,

1135
00:54:22,170 --> 00:54:24,450
Speaker 2: in a legal world, that's fraud, So why can't you

1136
00:54:24,530 --> 00:54:28,290
Speaker 2: be charged with fraud like it's committing an offense. But

1137
00:54:28,330 --> 00:54:31,570
Speaker 2: there was a young girl that unfortunately took her life

1138
00:54:31,610 --> 00:54:36,050
Speaker 2: because of catfishing. This poor girl was only sixteen. And

1139
00:54:36,170 --> 00:54:38,450
Speaker 2: the thing that infuriates me is like if I was

1140
00:54:38,490 --> 00:54:40,970
Speaker 2: to drive my car out and accidentally hit someone and

1141
00:54:41,010 --> 00:54:43,530
Speaker 2: they die, I get done for manslaughter, yet that poor

1142
00:54:43,570 --> 00:54:46,570
Speaker 2: girl has taken her life because of someone's actions and

1143
00:54:46,610 --> 00:54:49,970
Speaker 2: there was kind of no consequences. So trying to advocate

1144
00:54:50,010 --> 00:54:52,450
Speaker 2: to make it law and to make it legal that

1145
00:54:52,570 --> 00:54:55,410
Speaker 2: there are some kind of repercussions for what this can

1146
00:54:55,450 --> 00:54:59,090
Speaker 2: do to people is now something that I'm massively a

1147
00:54:59,130 --> 00:55:03,810
Speaker 2: supporter of. I've been introduced to sites like social Catfish

1148
00:55:03,810 --> 00:55:06,850
Speaker 2: where you can actually drag and drop people's images in

1149
00:55:07,010 --> 00:55:09,450
Speaker 2: and it will tell you if they're on any dating

1150
00:55:09,490 --> 00:55:12,090
Speaker 2: sites and multiple dating sites, or if they're even being

1151
00:55:12,130 --> 00:55:16,130
Speaker 2: flagged on scam sites. And I mean now that online

1152
00:55:16,210 --> 00:55:18,850
Speaker 2: dating's come back into a full force of its way

1153
00:55:18,850 --> 00:55:21,610
Speaker 2: to meet people with the likes of Bumble and Hinge,

1154
00:55:21,650 --> 00:55:24,570
Speaker 2: it's a good time to remind people that hey, if

1155
00:55:24,570 --> 00:55:28,130
Speaker 2: you're not certain, dump those photos in. But one thing

1156
00:55:28,170 --> 00:55:30,690
Speaker 2: I have noticed with the new dating apps is they

1157
00:55:30,810 --> 00:55:33,970
Speaker 2: have self verification in there now, So you've now actually

1158
00:55:34,010 --> 00:55:37,010
Speaker 2: got to take a selfie of yourself in the app

1159
00:55:37,050 --> 00:55:40,610
Speaker 2: and it verifies it against your profile images and if

1160
00:55:40,610 --> 00:55:42,890
Speaker 2: it's not you, then I think they block the profile.

1161
00:55:42,970 --> 00:55:45,450
Speaker 2: So online and dating, it's good to have seen that

1162
00:55:45,570 --> 00:55:48,850
Speaker 2: it's advanced with technology as well and doing its bit

1163
00:55:48,890 --> 00:55:51,930
Speaker 2: to try and stop these things from happening even further,

1164
00:55:52,450 --> 00:55:54,210
Speaker 2: there's been lots of good to come out of it

1165
00:55:54,250 --> 00:55:58,330
Speaker 2: as well as bad. I think that's my life's purpose

1166
00:55:58,490 --> 00:56:01,610
Speaker 2: is to really help people be aware, to be a

1167
00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:06,810
Speaker 2: better version of themselves, and to just support other people

1168
00:56:07,050 --> 00:56:08,930
Speaker 2: out there that have gone through this and to know

1169
00:56:09,010 --> 00:56:12,210
Speaker 2: that while it's not okay to go through it's okay

1170
00:56:12,250 --> 00:56:14,610
Speaker 2: to actually be upfront and talk about it. Because that's

1171
00:56:14,610 --> 00:56:16,450
Speaker 2: one thing I didn't do is like, as I said,

1172
00:56:16,770 --> 00:56:21,210
Speaker 2: my mum My Network, my close friends knew nothing about

1173
00:56:21,250 --> 00:56:23,850
Speaker 2: it until I had appeared on TV, and it was

1174
00:56:24,010 --> 00:56:27,410
Speaker 2: more the fact that not being afraid to speak up.

1175
00:56:27,690 --> 00:56:30,890
Speaker 2: And I think though it's mainly just to really support

1176
00:56:30,930 --> 00:56:33,490
Speaker 2: other people that are going through it, because I say

1177
00:56:33,530 --> 00:56:35,410
Speaker 2: to people, we go through things in life and we

1178
00:56:35,450 --> 00:56:37,930
Speaker 2: wonder why me, and I'm like, because I'm strong. I

1179
00:56:37,930 --> 00:56:39,890
Speaker 2: think it's because I was strong enough to deal with it,

1180
00:56:39,930 --> 00:56:43,290
Speaker 2: Whereas if it had been anyone else, they probably wouldn't

1181
00:56:43,330 --> 00:56:46,850
Speaker 2: have been as strong and probably they wouldn't be sitting

1182
00:56:46,850 --> 00:56:56,850
Speaker 2: here sharing their story.

1183
00:56:56,930 --> 00:56:59,690
Speaker 1: Everyone has an ex is a Minti Media production and

1184
00:56:59,770 --> 00:57:02,690
Speaker 1: proudly part of the mum of MEA network is written

1185
00:57:02,690 --> 00:57:06,410
Speaker 1: and narrated by me Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott.

1186
00:57:06,770 --> 00:57:08,850
Speaker 1: If you have a story you'd like to share, email

1187
00:57:08,970 --> 00:57:12,770
Speaker 1: podcast at momamea dot com dot au. You can support

1188
00:57:12,850 --> 00:57:15,250
Speaker 1: us by following the show in your favorite podcast app

1189
00:57:15,410 --> 00:57:18,010
Speaker 1: and leaving a five star review. We'll see you for

1190
00:57:18,050 --> 00:57:20,730
Speaker 1: the next episode.