WEBVTT - Mummy Wine Culture Isn't Cute 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.080 We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land. We're recording 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:03.720 on today. 0:00:07.200 --> 0:00:10.200 When I had a screaming baby, a couple of glasses 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:13.080 of wine, not every night, but most night. My God, 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.279 did it help because it just dulled everything and it 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:18.600 made me feel like I could cope with things a. 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:21.599 Little bit more. And I'm not going to apologize for that. 0:00:22.280 --> 0:00:24.120 It might not be healthy, but you. 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:26.840 Know what, You sometimes just have to find what works 0:00:26.920 --> 0:00:29.080 for you, and that wasn't hurting anyone. 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:34.400 Hello, and welcome back to Eat, Sleep, Shit Repeat, a 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:37.680 oddly unhinged podcast all about the manness that is motherhood 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:38.640 and everything in between. 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:44.239 I'm Kiri Cells, I'm Kelly mccaren and I'm not driving today. 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:49.320 I am hap Onbord shoo Choo is driving. 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:55.800 I'm in BALI. Who oh you're in BALI Yes, dadda, I'm. 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:59.000 In a little cockta. While Luke runs around, he just 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:02.560 goes to key, I'm going to be chasing Anywow. 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:06.039 Kelly's drinking And I looked at Kelly and she was 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:06.560 like yeah. 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:08.080 I was like, yes i am, because I've paid for 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:12.360 the trip, so yes I will. Anyway, In case you 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:15.000 missed it last week, we wrote a pretty damning letter 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:17.920 to pregnancy with all of our complaints about the process. 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:19.399 I'm actually feeling quite good. 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:22.240 It was very therapeutic. I love a good old fashioned complaint. 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:24.120 It was lovely just to get it off the chest. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:27.959 Speaking of releasing things, how is the poos going? 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:30.480 What a bloody segue. Well, I'm happy to report that 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:32.480 the bars are doing much better. Huge stout out to 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:36.039 all the stool softeners and the you know, the liquid laxatives. 0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:38.880 I've been drinking for keeping this preger girl regular. 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:41.119 Shout out to movicoles. Do you want to sponsor us? 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:42.560 Yeah, omniolance, omnil. 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:44.800 Any of the sees or. 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.760 The lusis will take diapers, will take it all. On 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:51.440 the show today, mummy wine culture as it happens, it's 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:54.120 not very cute and it actually hides a much darker problem. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.400 Today we're going to delve into the negatives that stem 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:59.840 from this movement and how our relationship with alcohol has changed, 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:03.480 or maybe not change. I'm unsure since having our kids. 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.720 But first, you're up for peak and pit today, my love. 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:10.440 Oh okay, well listen, we can make it nice and quick. 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:11.639 Listen. 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:13.959 My pitch is not really my pit, but I'm making 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.160 it my pit because I want help from the shit is. 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:21.359 Oh it's about food. Ah, Yes, I'm not good with food. 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:24.680 I don't care about food. I'm not good at well. 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:26.360 I am good at cooking, but I'm not good at 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:31.639 being organized, and like, i don't care about food and alas, 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:34.440 my child's diet is just not good and I just 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:38.359 need suggestions that are easy in things that he might 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:41.480 actually eat, because I kid you, not the only thing 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:46.400 he's guaranteed to eat for dinner is sol sieges. Yeah, 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:48.359 I'm pretty sure they're probably not that great for you. 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:51.120 Yeah, But to be honest, cal like Rue doesn't like 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:53.640 her repertoire of what she actually eats isn't that big. 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:56.519 She's sushi. Your child eats sushi, But that's because. 0:02:56.280 --> 0:03:00.360 It's rice and avocado. Like last night, I made these 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:03.240 cheesy fritz which is so easy to make. Took me 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:05.720 ten minutes to make them, and I put them out 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:08.079 with some celery and some hummus, and then I put 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:10.720 avocado and she ate the avocado and then demanded the 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:12.880 rest of the avocado. And that's what she had for dinner. Oh. 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:16.200 I think that we beat ourselves up too much about this. 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:20.160 I just worry, I know, but realistically, think about like 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:23.720 how basic your diet was until you discovered different things 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:25.840 that you actually like. Your taste budge changed. I don't 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:31.320 think it's that big of an issue. Does he eat eggs? No, wheatbicks? No? Okay, 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:33.880 those two things are quite important because they have all 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:35.680 of the vitamins and nutrients that you need. So if 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:38.280 you can just do more eggs and train him to 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:41.280 eat some wheatbicks, that will round out the vitamins and stuff. 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:43.480 He used to eat wheatbags, He used to eat eggs, 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:46.960 like he tricked me for so long, and now he's 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:48.800 just the littlest fuss pot. 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:55.240 He wants crackers all the time. Yeah he wants. 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:55.840 So, I'm just trying to make you feel better. 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.640 He will have other cereal like, you know, different types 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:00.760 of zeru, but then he mainly just seems to pick 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:04.600 out the sultana's heaven forbid, I give him so sultanas though, 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.000 oh yeah, yeah, you won't eat them then a game 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:11.720 like fruits. He only really eats mandarins. He eats baked 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:15.640 beans sometimes. Like it's just so frustrating. So any ideas 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:18.279 of things that are actually going to be good for 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:22.920 him would be wildly helpful. And he doesn't like anything mixed. 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.840 So I will always give him a little because you 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:27.160 meant to expose them. 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:28.400 Apparently you're good at that. 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:32.279 So I will always serve him like at least a 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.760 little portion of whatever we're having, and we usually do dinnally, 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:38.000 so pasta, whatever it is, I will give a plain 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:40.680 version to him, So just a few pasta pieces with 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.160 some veggies or something. Yeah, he never touches it, but 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:44.680 I'm always exposing him. 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:45.480 So that's the thing. 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:48.360 People will be like, oh, I just made this, and 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.279 I'm like, no, no, he won't touch. He will not 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:52.240 eat so many things. 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:54.279 Ninety percent of the things that I make for Rue 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:58.719 that isn't like pasta or pasta, she won't eat either, 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.960 Like I think my tip and also do the shit 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:05.280 is listening is Babel or baby food Bible? I think 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.560 the baby Food Bible now on Instagram. But they just 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.160 did a recipe book. They're girls like our age. They've 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.880 got one a recipe book. 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:14.919 That means I have to like make him things that 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:15.480 he won't eat. 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:18.839 Yeah, I know, but it's showing you different ways to 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:20.800 make healthy things. 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:21.200 You know what? 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:22.560 I mean, and some of them are really good. They 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.120 have like burgers and fries that you could do, like 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:29.039 it's not really healthy stuff, yeah yeah, yeah, but I 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:31.360 find it really helpful. Like those cheesy frits I made 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:36.840 that was literally five ingredients frozen peas, corn, some cottage cheese, 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:40.400 one egg, and some like dried parsley and things like that. 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:43.520 That's it. Mix it all together and then put them 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:45.520 in to make fritters into the pan, fry them and 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:49.240 that was it so easy. Like there's little recipes like 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:53.039 that and he might not eat it, but I hate them. 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:54.920 I hate some of them. 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.520 I think, like I'm just so grateful he eats at 0:05:57.560 --> 0:05:58.479 other people's houses. 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:00.440 Like I was gonna ask you, does he eat daycare? 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:01.640 Oh my god, here's everything at daycare. 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:03.200 Okay, so this is the thing he's getting. 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:06.560 He's getting so much new trans those four days a 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.680 week because he generally has like breakfast, morning tea, lunch, 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:12.960 afternoon tea. Yeah, then he'll come home for dinner. And 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:15.680 he also eats like at his cousin's houses, like when 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:19.000 he goes to either Hunter or Evelyn and Wesy's house, 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:23.480 he eats at least try things when they're eating. But yeah, 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:26.320 it's just at home, and he's just so defiant, Like 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:29.680 he gets his little ladder now and he'll push it 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:31.400 around to the kitchen to try to get at things 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:33.600 that he wants. Also, how do you stop your kid 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:34.480 going into the freezer? 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:35.560 It's so old. 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:39.800 I get so annoyed, shells out ice blocks and just 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.840 starts eating them. Rull just eat ice. Oh and then 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:46.080 her hands it gets stuck and then she rips it 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:51.640 off and cries. They're so weird. They're little dummies. But 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:53.839 it's interesting what you said, and I think all parents 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:55.880 would have been like, oh, your kid does that too. 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:59.080 They eat well at other people's houses, in different environments. 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:00.920 It is just where they feel safe. 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:03.279 Yeah, but when they're with you, they are pushing the 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:04.640 limits all the time. 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:06.120 I'm going to see if i can just get an 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:07.640 ice cream and just get a biscuit. 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:10.960 I think what I've started to do is feel comfortable 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.000 with what I've offered you. Is what I've offered you, 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:14.840 because I'd end up making three different things for her. 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:17.920 So now I just offer everything she eats as much 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:20.000 as she wants, and then I'll give her a yogurt pouch. 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:23.680 He also won'ted yogurt? What can you eat like a 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:24.640 fruit thing? 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:28.680 Though he likes fruit, he loves he loves, like make 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:30.680 the thing that you're making, offer it to him. You 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:32.640 don't want it, Okay, cool, here's a pouch. That's it. 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:34.240 You know, you have your milk and you go to bed. 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:34.720 Yeah. 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:36.800 But like I never thought i'd be like, oh, why 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:39.640 is this so annoying? But it's just so annoying. And 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:42.840 I just don't like I'm so bad with food, so 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:45.080 it's really hard for me to be like, no, you 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:47.560 can't have chocolate because I have chocolate every day. And 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:52.440 that's another thing I want to know about the language, 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:54.480 because it's like you're not supposed to say good foods 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:57.880 and bad foods? Are you meant to say treats? Because like, otherwise, 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:00.280 how am I supposed to explain? I guess sometimes food, 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:03.240 but they don't understand the concept of sometimes. They don't 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:04.480 have any concept of time. 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:06.600 It's just really. 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:09.520 Hard that I'm not really clued up on. Because Rue 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:11.560 I try to give her trees and she doesn't want them. 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:13.640 So that's just like not the path I've been down yet. 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:16.160 That is the most humble brag I've ever heard. I 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:17.400 try to give her trees. 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:19.240 But remember the time I gave her a milky way 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:20.560 and she just like handed it back to me. 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:23.080 She doesn't want it. It's annoying though, because. 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:23.400 Because you don't. 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.920 I like to take her to get ice cream that's 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:28.040 so cute. I want to get a you know, she 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:31.120 doesn't want a baby Chino Biscuits, like a yummy biscuit, 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:34.200 darling piscotti. She goes crt. 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:35.960 So she's more the favory gal. 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:38.480 Maybe she's like really specific things. The only reason why 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.040 I think she likes piscotti is because we get coffee 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:42.880 every morning. She and Charlie go and get my coffee 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:45.679 and bring it back to me. And the gorgeous guy 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:48.200 who is like the father in law of Anna her 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:50.880 owns a coffee shop. He gives her like a little 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:53.520 two pack of piscotti every time. So she always up 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:58.200 in the morning going coffee cookie, coffee cookie. And yeah, 0:08:58.240 --> 0:08:59.960 so that's the one thing. But that's because she's been 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:01.440 having it since she was like one and a half. 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:04.080 Yes, I mean, it's not a bad problem to have. 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:07.280 It isn't. But I do think that, like we're gonna 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:09.319 have to know this anyway, so it's an interesting topic 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:10.920 for an episode. We just need to get someone that 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:14.479 knows how to talk to it's not boring. Well, sometimes 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:16.400 things are boring, Curl, but it's our job to. 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.720 Make a caste. I guess, yeah, we can bring the interesting. 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:21.200 You know what Lenny does eat that is just so 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.920 weird olives yuck, but. 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:26.079 Also very chic. 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:29.640 He picks them off my pizza and so I ended 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:32.720 up just buying him a jar. Yeah yeah, yeah, and 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:35.280 he literally just eats him out of the jar. 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:36.080 He loves them. 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:37.760 Yeah, it's good. 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:42.000 It's not good salts anything salty. 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:45.240 Yeah, but whatever. I just think, who cares, I'm so 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:45.800 over it. 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:46.679 I might I know. 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:51.800 The long termercushions. Can we just look at the size 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:54.280 of Lenny. Yes, he's growing. 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:55.280 He's so healthy. 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:59.320 He's like meeting milestones, like he's intelligent, Like he is 0:09:59.400 --> 0:09:59.800 none of. 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:04.560 This enough team. He's doing his drills, the drills. 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:06.640 I just want us to be less hard on our 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:11.200 song because I to go through this like every you know, 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:12.880 three months. I'm like, I'm the worst parent of the 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.120 world because I cooked pasta for the fifty eighth time 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:16.560 for her, and then. 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:18.760 I just see pasta I'd be thrilled. 0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:20.800 And that's what I'm saying, is like, why do we. 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:23.880 Up over and we'd never beat anyone else up. 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.000 Yeah, there's seven days in a week, right, Four of 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.600 them he's eating what he's given because there's no other option, 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:31.120 and three of them you spice it up with whatever 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:31.600 you've got. 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.760 And you know what, I have a friend who's nine 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:38.520 year old is still requesting plain pasta with barbecue sprinkles 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:40.400 every single night because he has such an aversion to 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:41.240 so many foods. 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:46.040 So yeah, at least he's getting meat in him totally. 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:47.960 Something that Roue doesn't eat a lot of meat, Like 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:49.120 I wish he ate more meat. 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:53.000 My peak is how happy he is. Oh my god, 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:57.880 he is the happiest little boy. He does not stop giggling. 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.240 Yeah, not many people see because he is shy, but 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:04.959 he is so cute. He literally does not stop laughing. 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:08.520 He's very cheeky and naughty. Yeah, like loves to not 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:10.880 listen to us and just run around without clothes on, 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:12.959 wave his little bum in the air and do the 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:17.280 bum bum dance. But honestly, like we were up home 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:20.719 recently and like he just did not stop laughing and 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:23.480 running around and just having the best time, Like didn't 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:27.240 winge that much, didn't have any milkdowns e. He's just 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:31.920 the happiest little boy and it's just the best age. 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:34.560 I just I love it. 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:36.080 And I'm like, I don't want you to grow up. 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:38.240 Everyone wants like older kids, and I'm like, I don't 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:39.000 want older kids. 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:40.400 This is so fun. 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:43.400 Can pretty much understand what they're saying, Like you're communicating 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:45.720 on it enough now to be he's like my bestie. 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:47.720 He wants to cuddle with me all the time, Like 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.480 why would I want that to ever change? His little 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.960 hand always wants to hold my hand, like he's so 0:11:53.120 --> 0:12:00.240 cute that he is so cute. 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:02.840 Before we get into today's deep dive, we just wanted 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:06.120 to give a content warning. If alcohol is a problem 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:08.800 for you or harming you or someone you know, please 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:12.640 contact Lifeline on thirteen eleven fourteen for advice and support 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:15.680 twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Mummy 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:19.480 wine culture so it stems from a growing reliance on 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:23.040 alcohol to manage anxiety after having a child. And while 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:25.559 the concept isn't new, I think back to the nineteen 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:29.439 fifties housewives who lived on vodka. It's certainly gained momentum 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:33.679 and has been somewhat normalized with the invention of social media. 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:37.119 According to the University of Sydney's Matilda Center in Australia, 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:40.679 one in six mothers have reported drinking alcohol at risky 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.439 levels in the first twelve months of their baby's life. 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:46.360 Anxiety and stress are the leading contributors to this behavior, 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:49.640 particularly due to the pressures of raising a child whilst 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:54.920 also maintaining work, household management, familial, social and romantic relationship. 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:59.360 So the mental load what makes wine mum culture dangerous 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.520 is normal drinking to cote with parenting has become and 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.600 the messages that we are met with reinforcing drinking as 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:09.320 self care for mothers. So doctor Katrina Pryor, who is 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:12.640 the lead researcher at Sydney University for the Healthy Mum 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:16.360 Healthy bub Project, says the normalization of wine mum culture 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:20.320 and related memes and slogans like Mummy Wine Time perpetuate 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.760 the idea that drinking alcohol to cote with the challenges 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:27.080 of motherhood is not only acceptable but essential. And while 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:31.720 alcohol may offer temporarily from uncertainties, overwhelm and stresses of 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:35.400 early motherhood, ultimately relying on drinking in the longer term 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.800 tends to exacerbate these feelings. She went on to say 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.480 that the normalization and acceptance of drinking to cote with 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:45.079 the worries of motherhood not only perpetuates harmful drinking habits, 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:48.720 but also obscures the underlying issues of anxiety and stress 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.840 among new mothers. Na Khal, I've noticed a few think 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:55.200 pieces on the subject pop up over the past few years, 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:57.800 and the reaction is really interesting because there's a lot 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:00.959 of don't come for our wine and leave the mums 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:02.480 alone in response and. 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:05.880 Mummy wine culture. I hate it. I hate it. 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:10.840 I you are very much it though, yes, but I've 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:11.800 always been it. 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:16.120 I've always been a party girl. Yeah. 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.240 So it's not like I became a mum and then 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:21.360 I became like a mummy with her wine. And that's 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:22.720 why I think I hate it so much. And you 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:24.800 know me, I like try to pretend that I'm not 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.040 a mum. Not it's not that I try to pretend 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:27.880 that I'm not a mum. 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:29.960 But I just don't say that on our parenting pard. 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:33.560 But I try to not lean into anything that's too mummy. 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:37.040 You're trying to identity yes, Kelly. 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:39.160 As Kelly, and I am a mum, but I'm also 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:43.560 other things. So I just hate the camaraderie that people 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:47.960 try to like. I hate the five o'clock somewhere or 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:51.320 like Mum's around just good open that Sharon. 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:53.760 Ey at five pm to get through the line. 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:55.760 I just hate it. 0:14:55.760 --> 0:15:00.120 It is just so cringe and like, it's just it's 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.480 such a bad stereotype and I just think we're so 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:03.480 much better than that. 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:07.240 However, I also love getting pissed. Yeah you do. 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:10.280 Do you think since having Lenn, has your relationship with 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.000 alcohol changed in any way for the better, for the worst, 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:14.880 stayed the same, Listen. 0:15:14.920 --> 0:15:18.840 I definitely think when he was younger, I used it 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:24.000 a lot more than was necessarily healthy, more than what 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:27.840 I do now. However, I do not regret that decision 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.080 at all, and I would give the same advice to 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:32.320 someone that was really struggling because it helped. 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:35.600 And you have had no issues with whole dependence or 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:36.960 anything like that in the past. 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:40.320 And it's worth noting I don't have any problems with addiction. 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:44.440 I don't have dependency issues, so I am coming from 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:46.800 it from a different perspective than someone that maybe does 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:50.320 have an addictive or a personality that can't sort of 0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:53.760 like stop when they're ahead or what up. But I 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:57.120 will say that when I had a screaming baby, a 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:59.880 couple of glasses of wine, not every night, but most nights, 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:03.800 my God, did it help because it just dulled everything 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:06.000 and it made me feel like I could cope with 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:06.440 things a. 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:07.080 Little bit more. 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:10.440 And I'm not going to apologize for that. It might 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:13.160 not be healthy, but you know what, you sometimes just 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.120 have to find what works for you. 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:16.920 And that wasn't hurting anyone. 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:20.480 Yeah, I wasn't hurting my child because I was not drunk. 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.480 I was still able to parent. Like I don't do 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.680 things when I'm drunk. I don't go driving or shop 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:29.360 or actually, sorry, I lie. The only thing I do 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.960 is shop is shop online. Yes, by ridiculous things when 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.880 I'm drunk, but it's not hurting anyone. So I'm never 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:38.360 ever going to regret also or feel bad for giving 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:40.240 that advice. When people say, what are some things that 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:42.280 worked for you, I'm like caffeine in the morning, drinking 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:44.280 at night, want a. 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.800 Few, one or two glasses, three glasses. 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:48.400 Like half a bottle is always my limited week. 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:51.760 A realm of moderate drinking. I think what you're saying 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:52.240 is okay. 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:58.680 However, I've always definitely nudged it on the weekends when 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:00.760 I'm with friends, and I have not stopped doing that. 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:03.920 Since having Lenny, it's dialed back a lot more like 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:06.480 it used to be, probably at least once a week, 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:08.480 sometimes twice a week, that I would just go out 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:11.439 and rip Sidney to shreds until four am and then 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:14.960 come home and be sorry for myself. But now I 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:17.920 still do it sometimes and I love it. I love 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:20.159 going out and having fun. I love I love the 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:23.119 feeling of getting pissed, and I'm if that's problematic to 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:25.240 say sorry, but I'm not going to apologize for it 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:26.040 because it's how I feel. 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:28.960 I like the feel of alcohol. It helps me. 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:31.240 I mask a lot. 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:34.560 That's the issue, isn't it, though, And it helps me 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:38.800 be free sexually. I have lots of issues. It's the 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:41.800 only time that I am like freely able to have sex. Yes, 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:44.960 maybe this is a big problem, but it's how I'm 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:46.879 dealing with it and it's not hurting anyone, and I 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:47.840 don't have a problem. 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.280 Look, I think that that is your progative. I don't 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:52.480 think we can judge in anyway. I think the way 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:54.560 in which you're doing it sounds like you've got to 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:55.480 handle on it, right. 0:17:55.800 --> 0:18:00.080 I think that the whole Mummy wine culture. If it's like, Okay, 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.679 I'm getting to the end of the day, five o'clock 0:18:02.760 --> 0:18:05.720 is hitting and i cannot get through it, and I'm 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:09.399 counting down the minutes to that particular hour, and then 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:11.919 I'm smashing a whole bottle of wine and I'm feeling 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:15.120 awful and it's affecting my work on ability to mother 0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:17.240 the next day. I think those are the things that 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:20.080 you look at and think, Okay, that's a problem for sure. 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:22.320 I would say that I'm a little bit different to 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:25.640 you just in how pre and post having a kid 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:29.760 I definitely had like an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:33.400 think I drank probably too much. Like I'm a smallish 0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:35.840