WEBVTT - The One ‘What If’ That Keeps Us Up At Night 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.080 We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land we're recording 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:03.720 on today. 0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:07.840 That was cringe. 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:10.600 It was so many rares that you read that out. 0:00:11.240 --> 0:00:14.560 I'm nothing if not able to giggle at myself. 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:19.320 Did he write back? Yeah? 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:20.720 Do you want to up the cringe? 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:21.360 Go on? 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:27.560 Man, this is so juicy. Hello, and welcome back to 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:28.240 eat sleep. 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.800 Sh'd repeat another rogue edition of Keys in Europe. I'm 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:34.120 Kelly McCarran. 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:35.000 And I'm Key Resells. 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:35.520 That's right. 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:38.640 I am somewhere off in the Mediterranean with my family. 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:41.640 Hopefully it's all going well while hell man's the fort 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:45.080 at home. But don't worry she is, because one man's 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:49.280 misfortune is another man's entertainment. I have lots of travel 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:51.360 tips and lolls as soon as I get back. 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:57.520 But today we're kicking back Q and A style, So Key, 0:00:57.720 --> 0:00:59.840 I thought that we would just kick it back. I've 0:00:59.880 --> 0:01:02.640 got ten questions for each of us. Love it listen. 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:05.880 If we're really curious, we can answer the other person's two. 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:08.680 But I wanted to keep it a little bit interesting 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:10.520 and we'll take it in turn. So I'm going to 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:14.679 start off with something really like, Okay, Key, do you 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:16.200 believe in astrology. 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:21.440 I do, really, yeah, so off brand. 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:21.880 You're not Ulu. 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:25.120 I think it's because I am like such a Gemini, 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:29.880 like in what way, definitely like split personality. I'm very creative. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:33.160 I start lots of things and don't finish them, like 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.039 I'm two a tee a Gemini. 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.120 Okay, I'm nothing like a Libra. And whenever I say 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:41.200 that to astrologists, they go, oh, yeah, but you probably 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:44.320 look a query it's rising and I'm like, oh, shut up. 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:46.399 So I would say that, I'm like, here we go. 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:48.320 You're like, oh, you're probably a Gemini rising. 0:01:48.640 --> 0:01:52.280 No, I would say that I am entry level a 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:55.440 believer in astrology. I haven't had my chart read and 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:57.800 I don't know what my rising is or any of that. 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:00.880 It's somewhere that I hope to get. But you have 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:03.080 to know things like what time of the day you 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:04.080 were born. Don't know that? 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:04.680 How do you not? 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:06.760 Oh you can't ask my mum? Can I who A, 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:09.320 We're gonna ask? But yeah, I do believe in it. 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:11.480 I don't know if I believe in like the things 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.640 you see in magazines like your weekly, oh, that kind 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:18.560 of thing, but I definitely do believe that, not all people, 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:21.080 because there's definitely outliers who you meet and you're like, 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:23.560 they'll say that there's something like a Leo. 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.959 And I'm like, you were the most placid leo. 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:28.320 You're not a Leo. I think you might be. Are 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:30.600 you a cancer? And They're like, oh, I'm on the cusp? 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:32.320 And I'm like, oh, okay, that will makes sense. 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:35.440 Like I think, do you even know what personality traits 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:38.119 go with different things? Yeah? 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:40.080 Well not for all of them, because some of them 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:42.000 I've just don't even have important people in my life 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:44.119 who are a certain thing. Like I don't know any 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:48.760 scorpios but the scorpiary really fiy. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:50.000 No, But like when when are they born? 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:51.160 I think September. 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:55.840 I don't really believe in astrology, okay, but I actually 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:59.160 find it very interesting when people are it's a bit weird, 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:02.440 but it's also like it's a cute hobby and whenever 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:03.799 someone wow, cute sounds. 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.239 So perpa it's so patronized. 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:06.920 I don't mean it in a patronizing way. I mean 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:09.919 it in a I'm often not interested in a lot 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:12.040 of things, but if someone wants to talk to me 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:15.639 about astrology, even though I don't believe in it. Yeah, 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:18.000 I find it very interesting. 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:19.160 But I think there are a lot of hacks out 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.360 there with astrology. Like I think if you went to 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:25.880 like a true astrologist who really had honed their skills 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.280 like whatever you see in those magazines, I don't believe 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:29.839 it's like you're going to run into money this week 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:32.239 and I'm like, no, that would be nice, that would 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:32.640 be lovely. 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:34.880 I never have You've never been right before. 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.600 But they're very top line those types of things. But 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:39.720 if you actually got a proper astrologist, I think that 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:41.640 they can get like quite detailed on it. 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:44.000 But I really do believe it's so narcissistic though, that 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:46.080 that's something that we'd go pay for to understand their 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:46.720 fields better. 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.200 Well. I was going to say, there's this very well 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:52.760 known as in people all around Australia travel clairvoyant and 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.760 Brisbane that has likes always booked out and like my 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:59.040 friends have been and the things that he says is 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.760 like stuff that not one would know about their family. 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:03.839 That he never asked for their last name. It's only 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:06.000 ever first name basis. They bring in two photos, the 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:08.160 photos of face down like I. 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.800 Can't not that's not astrology though, but That's what I'm. 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:13.840 Saying is like, I think that realm of clearly, I 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:17.160 believe in ghosts exactly, So it's surprising that you don't 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:18.159 like astrology. 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:20.760 It's just very I don't know. 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.479 It has also probably been a bit whitewash. So the 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:27.920 version of astrology that we consume on a regular basis 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:31.560 is very watered down, like very broad. 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:33.360 Yeah, okay, that makes sense. 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:36.560 But I like every day i'd like to get my 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:38.960 charts read. We should go get our chart thread together. 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:40.360 That could be good content. 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:42.880 Yeah, We'll take a non believer and a believer and 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:43.760 see where we're add out. 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:45.960 Yeah, I'll end up being like, oh, I'm going to 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:50.279 turn into a tarot tarot Tarot tarota. 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:57.159 The tea is silent a tarrot. All right, cal tell 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:00.240 me about a risk that you took that paid off. 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:04.720 Oh okay, that's actually an easy one. Oh when I 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:08.120 quit my full time job. So true, that is so 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:10.719 easy for me. I'm sure that there's way more interesting ones. 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:13.560 But I quit my full time job because I was 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:16.880 struggling to manage I had two podcasts at the time 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.800 with Mama Mia. I was starting to do a little 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:23.160 bit of freelance content. Creation, and I was trying to 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.720 stay on top of my full time job with seventeen 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:29.039 members under me, so not even just doing my job, 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:32.800 but like managing a team. And I just was so 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:37.440 burnt out and so stressed. So much has changed, and 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:42.440 I quit one day in a very quite theatrical fashion. Yes, 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:47.159 my last week of work paid full time was the 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:50.960 week that everyone went into lockdown. Oh that's right, And 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:55.400 I just remember thinking, oh, my goodness, you silly woman. Like, 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:58.560 so my last week at work was spent letting my 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.920 team go, which was really awful. Like I had one 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.080 girl on the phone to me, balling her eyes out 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:05.359 because she was like, I don't know how I'm going 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:07.560 to pay my mortgage, Like this isn't even meant to 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:10.760 be a deep answer. I won't go on about how 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:14.640 awful that week was, but I just remember thinking, you fool, 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:18.320 and you know, everything was so doom and gloom, and 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.040 well we were facing. 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:22.960 We did not know how to get through at that point. 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:27.120 What we didn't realize, though, was that people would be 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:31.320 looking for content. Beauty sales went through the roof for 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.440 so many companies because people were like wanting to splurge 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.120 and buy themselves like things to do it home. They 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:38.599 weren't buying party dresses anymore, but they were buying like 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:41.440 a nice candle or a nice body lotion, something that 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:43.960 they could do at home. Yeah, actives may as well 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:47.919 do some skin masks. So everything ended up fine, but 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:49.680 it was a huge risk totally. 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:52.880 And I also think just based on like you as 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:55.480 a person, we have had a very risk adverse exactly. 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:57.760 You've gone like straight from high school into college. You 0:06:57.880 --> 0:06:59.800 did move overseas, but it was with a boyfriend. Like 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:02.719 You've stayed in jobs for a long period, much longer 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:05.200 than I should have, pretty much most of my jobs. 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:06.880 So it's for you to be like, I'm just going 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.840 to quit a job that has a regular income, a 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:12.840 good income to do this like that is a big 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:13.240 thing for you. 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.880 It's because I am so risk adverse. Such a good point. 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:20.760 So but yeah, it's paid off, Like I'm earning mostly 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:23.520 what more than what I would have full time, not 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:25.200 a huge amount more. But the beauty is that I 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:29.320 get to I don't have to manage people, which I love. Yeah, 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:32.560 and I get to choose my own projects now that 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.480 I've got a kid. Being able to manage mowent hours 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:37.600 is heaven, and I don't take it for granted. So yeah, 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:40.760 it's definitely a risk that has paid off. 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.360 Yeah, I love that it's not boring at all. 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:49.120 Key, I'm scared share a past mistake or regret that 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:53.320 still affects you. I hadn't want people you shouldn't have regrets. Actually, 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:55.120 I heard you say that to Lucy and I'm waking out, 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:57.280 and I'm like, hey, Race, everyone has. 0:07:57.440 --> 0:07:59.560 I think you can have regrets, but I don't think 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:01.960 that you should let it control your life. Yeah, and 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:04.920 also just think about what you've learnt from it. You know, 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:06.800 like that you still think about But that's okay because 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:08.640 you're thinking about it in a way of like, if 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:10.280 that happened to me, now, I'll do it differently. 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:13.520 Every one of my huge regrets that play on my 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:17.240 mind I have learned from because I know that I 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:18.480 will never repeat that again. 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:21.280 I've got one that's like not that deep, but it's 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:24.600 something that still keeps me up at night. Gone not 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:30.760 getting a market for the wedding. I bring it up 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.160 once a week to Charlie and I'm just like, oh, 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:34.839 because do you know what happened? You know why I'm 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:35.600 upset about it? 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:40.040 That is so funny. Apologies, but that is so funny. 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:42.480 It's barely been a year. It hasn't been a year, 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:43.360 I know. 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:45.840 But the thing is that it's like, just as we 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:47.560 had to make the decision because we had a markete 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:49.880 on hold, just as we had to make that decision, 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:53.079 the lighting guys came, so they were like, we're ready 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:55.920 to set up. But if we had have chosen the marquee, 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:57.920 that would have fucked the lighting. So they would have 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:00.280 had to go and then come back. Yep. And so 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.079 I think, like looking at the weather report, they were 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:06.560 there like making that decision, and then it rained. Like 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:08.240 at the time on the day. 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:11.040 I was he did not care, which was so good. 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:14.160 I just was like I didn't think I'd ever make it. 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.200 This sounds crazy, but like I didn't ever think I 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:18.680 would get married. And even in the lead up to 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:20.760 the wedding, I was like, something's going to happen. This 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:22.360 is not like me to do something. 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:25.040 You were like, I just thought, like I. 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:28.959 Can't imagine me doing something very traditional, you know. I mean, 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:31.240 the car did catch on fire, so there was plenty 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:32.520 of things that did happen, but. 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:35.440 Drew was teething and through an absolute teang exactly. 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:37.880 But I remember like being married and I was like, 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:41.520 holy shit, I've actually done something. And I think for 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:44.400 me it was important because I think a little bit deep, 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:45.840 like a lot of the stuff I do in my 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:49.599 life is to break cycles of like you know, So 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:52.040 for me, it's like really important to like distinguish myself 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:55.120 from like, for instance, my mum and like to have 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:57.800 like a really healthy marriage and something I didn't know 0:09:57.840 --> 0:09:59.440 if I'd ever be able to do just because of 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.440 the hardship I'd face. Like, just to me, to be 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:04.880 married in that moment was a real accomplishment. So the 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.760 fact the weather was terrible, I didn't care what it 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:11.959 did do put the car fire out exactly exactly. But 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:15.000 what I did find afterwards was in hindsight, was like 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:16.640 I didn't get to get any pictures with like my 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.520 friends because we went away to do our photos. So 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:25.479 I've got wedding party photos, which is fantastic, but I 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:28.280 like don't have any with my friends. So that makes 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:29.040 me sad. 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:31.760 And is that why you regret not having the marque 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.000 because you don't have photos with friends? Like, just elaborate 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:35.439 on why you regret. 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:37.680 Just some of it was a bit disjointed while we're 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:40.000 waiting for the rain to Like, I wonder if we 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:41.600 had the marque, everyone would have been together with the 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:43.880 speeches would have been sooner, everyone would have been seated 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:44.599 for the speeches. 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:48.120 Like it was very much so unique wedding. Yeah, even 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:52.640 the formalities were held inside a family home. Yeah, I 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:53.120 loved it. 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:56.400 I loved it too. I loved it. It's just it's 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:57.839 my silly brain. 0:10:57.640 --> 0:11:00.880 That gets silly and. 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:02.800 Sometimes it's really hard for me to even look at 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.480 photos like it's it's like and then I'm saying it's 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:09.600 probably also regarding deb Yeah, it was such a special day. 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:12.400 I was so happy in that moment, but my brain 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:15.080 still wants to find something to make me feel like 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:16.960 I did something wrong or something like that. You know, 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:20.080 that's just kind of my anxiety creeping it. But that 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:23.360 is one that still haunts me. Like if I am 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:26.760 having a shit week, that will be something that a market, 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:30.000 that'll be something my brain fixates on. But how crazy 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:34.880 is that because it's so unimportant and I know what 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.800 was important about that day now more than ever. Yeah, 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:43.040 So it's just making my brain believe that over trying 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:46.640 to torment me. Yeah, do you think there's a part 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:48.319 of you that you've lost? 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:55.480 Oh, yes, I think everyone does. Most people do. Yeah, 0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.360 as you get older, I think you lose a lot 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:07.479 of just innocence, Yeah, and that beautiful naivety, innocence, ignorance 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:10.120 in a lot of ways about different things in the world. 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:11.480 Yeah. 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:15.440 I think how easily and openly I could love when 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:20.199 I was younger now just seems a lot more bogged down. Yeah, 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.560 but I think everyone would probably say that. 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:25.640 I feel like life hardens you a little bit. 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.880 It does. Yeah, yeah, and you look back at the 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:31.400 person you were and you just think, yeah, I have 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:35.160 lost a lot. However, I've also gained a lot. Like 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:38.000 I was so self conscious as an example, so and shy. 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:40.760 So yeah, that's such a good point. 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:42.839 So it's like, yeah, you win some you lose somebody. 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.160 No, totally, I feel that. I feel that. Girl. 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:53.440 What's something I have said to you that's made a 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:58.840 lasting impact? Tell me, I'm wise. 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.280 I think you were pretty instrumental on me going free lance, 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:04.920 like it did benefit you because the only way we 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:07.040 could do our pod was if I obviously. 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:08.560 But I would have encouraged her even if you weren't 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:09.040 doing it. 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:11.480 Yeah, of course, I think you were really good at that, 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:14.560 and I think just you and Lucy are probably the 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.439 two people that tell me all the time you can 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:20.240 do X y Z. So I think that's had a 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:23.360 lasting impact, Like I know that you support me and 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:26.880 encourage me and believe in me as a friend. 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.400 Not a specific saying her. 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.040 Not a specific. I can't think of anything and specifically 0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:35.800 maybe when you sent me a Facebook message saying you 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:37.200 might have judged me too quickly. 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:39.960 That was the start of our relationship, wasn't it. 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:40.160 Well. 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:42.760 That stayed with me though, because for me, it's all 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:46.319 about taking accountability of like your actions or how you've 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:49.320 behaved or whatever. And I thought like, yeah, she's a 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:51.600 real person, Like I can count on her because she's 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:54.640 willing to acknowledge that she got it wrong. 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.520 I can be an awful person, like I can be 0:13:57.559 --> 0:14:01.000 a bitch, but I have such accountability and I always 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:03.959 have had, and I think it's important. Yeah I'm the 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:07.079 first to raise my hand and say I behaved terribly. 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:10.640 Yeah, but that has stayed with me. You actually reaching 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:12.400 out and because not a lot of people would do that, 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.320 would they would just like start a friendship and not 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:18.880 acknowledge it, but you were willing to like be vulnerable 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:20.640 in order for it to move forward. And I think 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:24.080 that's kind of almost set the blueprint for our friendship. 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:25.800 Like we're pretty honest. 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:26.880 Honest with each Other's so true. 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.280 Most people would probably just have been like, okay, yeah, 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:31.360 like we're friends now. I not ever said anything yeah, 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.920 because it would have been too awkward, or I would 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:35.520 have been like, maybe she just didn't know that I 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:40.040 was afl Like it's hard to admit your faults, I think, 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:42.560 but I don't quite hard. I think a lot of 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:43.760 people do find it hard. 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:48.360 Yeah I do, but and sometimes when I'm like, I 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:50.200 know I have to say something, and I'm just like. 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:53.560 You find it hard, but it's weird because you're so 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:56.000 hard on yourself. Like I don't think I'm hard on myself, 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:58.760 but I'm happy to own up when i've I don't know, 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:01.240 everyone does the wrong thing all the time. It doesn't matter. 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.040 They do, they do, they do, and it's fine. It's 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:06.960 so fine. It's just sometimes where our worst critics. But yeah, 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.760 I would say that because that really, I've got to 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:12.280 thank you so much. I didn't I think about it 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:16.600 every day. What is my worst trait? 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:23.120 Be nice that you overthink everything and like catastrophize things, 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:25.280 and you make things so much harder than for yourself 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.760 because you do that. So it impacts every single part 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:30.760 of your life, your professional life, your work life, your 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.760 Friendship's like, you'll be at home and you'll just be like, 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:36.160 and I can just imagine it's like the rooms closing 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:39.640 and you're going, I haven't messaged anyone back for weeks 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.240 on end. Everyone hates me. I'm a terrible friend. No 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.640 one even likes me. The worlds are closing in on 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:47.480 me instead of spending that half an hour just fucking 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:52.320 texting people. I know, I know, but I also think 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:57.000 you're thirty five years old, thirty six. Sorry, you're probably 0:15:57.040 --> 0:16:00.640 not going to change thing I am. 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:01.000 No. 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:05.760 I mean it's endearing sometimes, but I think you need 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:07.840 more self awareness about it. Just but you do. You're 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:09.520 pretty good to be like, Oh yeah, I was really 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:11.240 thinking that it wasn't actually a big deal. 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.360 I think I just have this like big thing about 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:17.440 disappointing people. Yeah. I don't know why. It's silly if 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:19.680 someone were to say the same thing about themselves to. 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:21.240 Me, I didn't even notice. 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:24.480 You are crazy, like it doesn't matter. It's so fine 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:28.200 like blah blah blah. Anyway, all right when I surprises there, 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:28.640 thank god. 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:32.360 If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:34.000 would it be and what would you ask them? 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:40.200 Oh, that is a great question. I know, maybe with 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:42.280 some like kind of historian to sit me down and 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:44.480 like talk me through history, because I don't know a 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:45.120 lot of history. 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:47.800 But who that's. 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:50.600 Really boring because I like things about history, like I 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:53.240 think it's interesting. I don't know if I can answer 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.200 this question in an interesting way. Who would you take? 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.880 Probably Joan of Arc or some shit what was her name, 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:03.840 Like some chick that just, you know, really fucked things 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:06.760 up for people. But I actually don't know what i'd 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.720 ask them. I'd just be like, how'd you get them balls? 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:14.600 I don't think where this type of person that, Oh, okay, yeah, 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:22.040 let's just move on. What's my most annoying trait? You 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:24.840 have to We'll see if I've got self awareness about this. 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:25.800 You do? 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:32.440 You do, You'll just be in a grump, and no 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:34.160 matter what I do to try and get you out 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:35.800 of it, you will not get out of it. And 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:36.520 then I'm just like. 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:39.560 Fucking hell, like, get out of your grump right now, 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.080 but I can't if I'm in a grump. I'm in 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:44.000 a grump, I know, and I'm just. 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.680 Like usually the vibes are high for me if I'm 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:48.919 coming over here, because but if I'm in a grump 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:51.400 and I can't, and then you'll push me out the door, 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:52.600 and I'll be like, you know. 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:56.240 A bad mood today, But you're not like, but I 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:59.040 feel like every single person that's close to me would 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:00.320 say exactly the same thing. 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:01.320 Oh yeah, completely. 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:04.600 So it's not like you get treated special, no, I know, 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:06.080 get treated the same for. 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:09.080 You sometimes, Like it's always. 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:09.840 Pushing out the door. 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:11.159 You're always like you've got to go there. 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:12.439 It's just one time. 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.080 But you'll make it very you'll make it obvious that 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.880 you're like or actually, this is a good one. 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:21.760 When we record, Oh, when I'm bored, you can. 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:24.360 Just go vacant, and I'm like trying to fucking keep 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:27.360 the conversation going because we're recording a podcast. 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:28.960 That's different, that's not grumpy, that's bored. 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:33.440 Yeah, but sometimes you have to feign interest when someone 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:34.320