Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma Mia podcast. Hello, I'm kateline Brook
Speaker 1: and welcome to No Filter. This summer, we've curated a
Speaker 1: special No Filter playlist with some of our most unforgettable conversations,
Speaker 1: and this one feels especially joyful to revisit. Tanya Hennessy
Speaker 1: is one of Australia's funniest and most beloved creators, but
Speaker 1: behind the laughs, she's had a really long, painful road
Speaker 1: to motherhood, years of IVF and heartbreak, and always she
Speaker 1: maintained hope. When we recorded this conversation, Tanya was finally
Speaker 1: pregnant after eight years of trying. She shared the reality
Speaker 1: of infertility with raw honesty and humor, some of it dark,
Speaker 1: and she spoke about her dream of spending Christmas with
Speaker 1: the baby she'd waited for so long to meet. And
Speaker 1: now all this is give him me goosebumps. That dream
Speaker 1: has come true. Tanya and her husband Tom have welcomed
Speaker 1: their little miracle. So today we're revisiting the full conversation
Speaker 1: that touched so many hearts, the story of what it
Speaker 1: takes to keep believing when everything feels impossible. Here is
Speaker 1: Tanya Hennessy.
Speaker 2: Christmas has always been a really tough time of year
Speaker 2: because I love it so much, and you know, every
Speaker 2: it's a marker of time, and it's like, damn it.
Speaker 3: You know, we didn't have the baby this year.
Speaker 2: Nothing happens like it's passing time and I'm aging and that's.
Speaker 3: Not a good thing in the clinics, you know, it's.
Speaker 2: And I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like
Speaker 2: such a gift.
Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to No Filter. I'm Kate line Brook and
Speaker 1: today I'm sitting down with Tanya Hennessy. Is funny, she's relatable,
Speaker 1: she's endlessly honest. But behind the laughs, she's faced a
Speaker 1: very long, very hard road to one of life's most
Speaker 1: cherished milestones, becoming a mother. In this conversation, Tanya opens
Speaker 1: up about the heartbreak, the hope, and the quiet moments
Speaker 1: that tested her strength. She talks candidly about her battle withindometriosis,
Speaker 1: the challenges of infertility, and how she brought her audience
Speaker 1: along with her every step of the way, sharing the raw, real,
Speaker 1: often messy journey. And then, finally, the moment she got
Speaker 1: the baby news she'd been waiting for, a moment of
Speaker 1: joy that's deeply personal, yet a reminder that every journey
Speaker 1: to parenthood is different, and that hope, courage, and perseverance
Speaker 1: look different for everyone. Here is Tanya Hennessy. Tania Hennessy. Welcome, Welcome,
Speaker 1: Welcome to No Filter.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is a good podcast for me
Speaker 2: because I was not born with a filter.
Speaker 3: It gets me into trouble sometimes.
Speaker 1: No, it's perfect for you. But let me welcome you
Speaker 1: by saying this, Hello mama.
Speaker 2: Oh girl, don't I'm so emotional, but I can't cry
Speaker 2: figure that one out?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Are you just get me to know? Though?
Speaker 2: Yes, I think the process of IVF and loss has
Speaker 2: made it really difficult to connect to my I can't try.
Speaker 3: It's so weird, it's so bizarre.
Speaker 1: Do you think drives me up the wall? Because you
Speaker 1: have spoken very openly about the seven years ooh of
Speaker 1: fertility treatments and loss, as you said, and you've had endo.
Speaker 1: You've been really lucky.
Speaker 2: My god, how much money can I spend on this
Speaker 2: unborn child? I know, almost one hundred and twenty grand,
Speaker 2: which is like outrageous. I don't have a house, and
Speaker 2: I don't have much savings because I've made some fertility choices.
Speaker 2: But yeah, like, I really think that if I hadn't
Speaker 2: have gone through all of this nonsense with fertility, maybe
Speaker 2: I'd be connected slightly more. I'm a little bit worried
Speaker 2: about it, kay, to be honest, because I'm worried that
Speaker 2: this baby's gonna come out and I'm going to be
Speaker 2: dissociative with it because it's like, I also have an
Speaker 2: anterior placenter, so I can't feel them kicking.
Speaker 3: What does what does that mean?
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know much of biology though I've
Speaker 1: had four children. Anterior placenta, so anterior outside something oh no, oh.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, where would it normally be. It's on the front,
Speaker 3: so oh okay, it kicks, so it's at the run.
Speaker 2: So basically every time you can have at the back
Speaker 2: or the side, but the frunt is where they.
Speaker 3: Kick kick, and you can't feel anything.
Speaker 2: So it's I'm like, I also just look a bit chubby,
Speaker 2: which is fine, but I've been this size before, so like, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, are you there?
Speaker 1: Are you there? Yes? Yeah? Right, you haven't had that
Speaker 1: moment yet where you've kind of popped and you go
Speaker 1: I look to the world like a pregnant lay.
Speaker 2: Yes, And even the scans I reckon my brain can't
Speaker 2: quite understand that that's in me because it looks like
Speaker 2: a film or something. You know, everyone has this scan,
Speaker 2: but I've never had the scan where you said the
Speaker 2: baby right.
Speaker 3: Ever, I've always just had empty, empty scan. My brain
Speaker 3: can't compute that that's in me, and I am in therapy.
Speaker 2: It's a really it's really working.
Speaker 3: It's really working, honest, my therapist.
Speaker 2: Just like saw you on the cover of that Body
Speaker 2: and Soul, I'm like, girl, are you therapising?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 3: Just a fan?
Speaker 1: Like that was a great cover, by the way, Yeah, and.
Speaker 2: You know it's it was that was so scary. Kate like,
Speaker 2: who oh god, oh but I did it.
Speaker 1: I did it well. You know, everything that you've done
Speaker 1: is sort of scary, including uh, once you decide, if
Speaker 1: you decide that you want to have a baby, and
Speaker 1: then you find out that you can't or that the
Speaker 1: path is going to be littered with so many obstacles,
Speaker 1: that is really scary. Looking into the abyss of that
Speaker 1: is scary, and particularly for women because we're so conscious
Speaker 1: of the concept of time m and being on borrowed time.
Speaker 3: Especially in this industry. I think you do find that
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 2: Like my whole life and I don't know about you,
Speaker 2: but you know, I used to be wanted to be
Speaker 2: an actor, particularly back in the day, and it was
Speaker 2: very much like.
Speaker 3: Oh so did I really Yeah, you have to forty.
Speaker 2: You have to forty, you have to find forty felt
Speaker 2: like off deadline. You couldn't act anymore, you couldn't do anything.
Speaker 2: You were invisible at forty and at thirty nine. Being
Speaker 2: pregnant feels, you know, it's the weirdest thing. I'm on
Speaker 2: the precipice. My birthday will be three weeks before. By
Speaker 2: fortieth birthday, three weeks before I give birth.
Speaker 3: It's like, that's bizarre.
Speaker 2: So I'm like turning forward and having this turn of
Speaker 2: life at the same time as giving life. And my
Speaker 2: brain is like, but I'm really excited at the same time,
Speaker 2: but terrified, which I think is kind of normal.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because when we were setting up the tech here,
Speaker 1: I was just watching you and you were so still
Speaker 1: and composed, and I thought, oh, it's a it's another
Speaker 1: nuance of Tanya Hennessy.
Speaker 3: Oh the stillness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, m do you feel how do you feel different? Okay,
Speaker 1: there's so many things I want to discuss with you.
Speaker 1: Let's go to the moment, the moment where, and in
Speaker 1: IVF procedures because they're so invasive, there's no secrets, are there.
Speaker 3: Nah.
Speaker 2: And when my embryo was going in my my doctor
Speaker 2: was cranky at me because I did a different protocol
Speaker 2: and he was like, Tanya Lyrish or Scottish, Tana, do
Speaker 2: you not trust me? And I was like, it's not
Speaker 2: that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't
Speaker 2: have much mental space left. And if this doesn't work,
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm going to do. I work
Speaker 2: in comedy, bro Like, I got no jokes. I've got
Speaker 2: no light left in me. I've got to try everything.
Speaker 2: It's not personal, it's drag like I'm trying to get
Speaker 2: this done.
Speaker 1: Also, I don't know how professional that is, although I do,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I don't think this is
Speaker 1: the point when you're having an embryo transfer at which
Speaker 1: the doctor should make it about them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But being through like the medical system, I don't
Speaker 2: think people like, yeah, I have a lot to say
Speaker 2: about it, and how misdiagnosed situations get and how things
Speaker 2: get forgotten and how much you have to advocate for
Speaker 2: yourself to be honest, being on the other side of
Speaker 2: fertility is so nice because I don't have to go
Speaker 2: into a room and fight for myself like I have
Speaker 2: had to do. And it's wearing and exhausting, you know,
Speaker 2: going in and being like please help me, believe me,
Speaker 2: and telling your story fifteen times, and you know, people
Speaker 2: taking money from you and saying they're gonna help you,
Speaker 2: and you.
Speaker 3: Know, like it's vulnerable.
Speaker 2: You're like, hey, I just need help, and people like, yeah, sure,
Speaker 2: if you pay me six hundred dollars and then I'll
Speaker 2: put you on this thing and it might work and
Speaker 2: it might not yo.
Speaker 1: And then because you've done this for a long time,
Speaker 1: pretty well since you got together with Tom, or not
Speaker 1: long after you got together with Tom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so like twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, like you're in
Speaker 2: a studio with Angus O'Laughlin and we used to do
Speaker 2: radio together and we were trying then, and Angus and
Speaker 2: I have not done radio together since twenty nineteen, and
Speaker 2: like he would know, and he's probably listening to this,
Speaker 2: but he would know. I used to come in and
Speaker 2: be like it's not working. It's not working, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. That's a long hours time, right, Angus
Speaker 2: has had two.
Speaker 3: Babies since then. By the way, that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: It in that term is really interesting too.
Speaker 1: And then what did how are you navigating the You know,
Speaker 1: when you are in a relationship with someone and you
Speaker 1: decide that you are committed enough to each other that
Speaker 1: you want to have children, and then it seems that
Speaker 1: it's a possibility, which I think before you have a child,
Speaker 1: a lot of women think I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: able to have a child, and I think men probably
Speaker 1: think the same thing, only they're right.
Speaker 3: They can contribute.
Speaker 1: But you know, the women are the pig in the
Speaker 1: bacon and eggs, like we committed. The chicken is participating.
Speaker 1: That is the funniest That's one of my mothers.
Speaker 3: Really stupid. I love it so much. The chicken is
Speaker 3: just participating.
Speaker 1: But the pig is committed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the figures in there. Yeah, so Tom tinks younger
Speaker 3: than me.
Speaker 2: He's only thirty two and I'm thirty nine, right, so
Speaker 2: he's young.
Speaker 3: So we were like, oh, he won't have any problems.
Speaker 2: And you know, we were told for a really long time,
Speaker 2: you're really young and healthy relatively, it should be fine.
Speaker 3: So yeah, because that's thirty two, is young to start.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and he was twenty what seven twenty six
Speaker 2: twenty he was younger that seven years younger than thirty
Speaker 2: two whatever that is.
Speaker 3: I don't do math.
Speaker 2: So we were just told, like constantly, just keep trying,
Speaker 2: just keep trying, just keep trying. And then eventually they.
Speaker 3: Did a I begged.
Speaker 2: I begged for an internal I was like, there's something wrong,
Speaker 2: like this is insane.
Speaker 3: He's like, you're stressed.
Speaker 2: And I was at that time, I you know, I
Speaker 2: was doing a I did a reality show and that
Speaker 2: really messed with my head. And I was going like
Speaker 2: backwards and forwards between jobs in Melbourne and Sydney and overseas.
Speaker 1: And what was the reality show?
Speaker 3: Oh I'm a still ah right, okay, the the UK one?
Speaker 3: Nor did the Australian one.
Speaker 1: The Australian one?
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, but that was rough. I found that show
Speaker 3: so hard, Like I don't know.
Speaker 2: People love it, but like I hated it and still
Speaker 2: think about it and hate it.
Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting. Why did you hate it?
Speaker 2: Because you can't stop the door. And I'm so painfully
Speaker 2: annoyingly creative that I hated not being able to create anything.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to draw in the dirt or like
Speaker 2: write something, and I wasn't allowed to It's like just
Speaker 2: to have a chat with somebody else.
Speaker 3: I'm like, but I don't want to talk to I
Speaker 3: don't want to do that. I want to create something.
Speaker 1: And one of those things about I mean, one of
Speaker 1: the things about the job that we do is that
Speaker 1: you can't just see a people. You have to look
Speaker 1: for the diamond in the people in people. Yes, but
Speaker 1: some people are just rocks and if that yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and so that's a long time to spend with rocks.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I took my podcasting equipment in there, and like
Speaker 2: that was kind of fun. So I got to interview
Speaker 2: people as a part of you know, that was my
Speaker 2: luxury item. By the way, tell you like a work
Speaker 2: addict who takes podcasting it with.
Speaker 3: Me, what's wrong with me?
Speaker 2: But I like, at least I was sort of doing
Speaker 2: something that felt proactive because reality people like Charlotte Crossby,
Speaker 2: she's amazing, but she's really good at just existing and
Speaker 2: making content by existing, whereas I'm a little bit more curated,
Speaker 2: like I want to make something like a book or
Speaker 2: a show or social video, and it's sort of more
Speaker 2: orchestrated where She just exists and it's funny and brilliant,
Speaker 2: and I just didn't have that capacity. And I would
Speaker 2: look and there was Maths guys and Love Island guys
Speaker 2: and they were really good at it. And I just
Speaker 2: felt like, oh, I don't know how to just exist.
Speaker 2: I'm more curated than existing. I'm not very interesting.
Speaker 3: And unless I'm curated, maybe well, Tracey's.
Speaker 1: Got to make it an outing, is what you're saying,
Speaker 1: is because you have, you know, people that live inside you. Yes,
Speaker 1: not just the baby.
Speaker 2: You know, it's so weird to think there's like a
Speaker 2: whole spine in me right now, Like how weird. But
Speaker 2: Tracy actually came out of being so sick of myself
Speaker 2: that I created this car who's a sixty year old
Speaker 2: hairdresser and Baptist who has not trained since she went
Speaker 2: to Tafe in the eighties, and I just really wanted
Speaker 2: to do someone who just wasn't going through fertility challenges.
Speaker 2: And she's in development for television, so you know, sometimes
Speaker 2: darkness brings out rainbows. And I always thought that I
Speaker 2: probably wouldn't have children just based on what I'd been through,
Speaker 2: and I thought this would this is going to be
Speaker 2: the last round this one. If it didn't work, I
Speaker 2: was just gonna I would I would just have to
Speaker 2: be satisfied with my life. I was going to find satisfaction.
Speaker 2: But Tracy coming out of the darkness has actually been
Speaker 2: one of the best things for me, because she's amazing.
Speaker 1: We're into this woman because also she's even in the
Speaker 1: you know, our conversation so far that you are beset
Speaker 1: by doubt as a lot of creative people are, and
Speaker 1: she has none none.
Speaker 3: So confident.
Speaker 2: Her like and she she doesn't have fertility struggles. She's
Speaker 2: not overly complex, which I love, you know. I'm like
Speaker 2: adhd deep as a well, very existential, like I think
Speaker 2: about thinking all the time, and Tracy's just sort of like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is what's in front of me.
Speaker 3: I'll just deal with it. Whereas I go, oh, what's
Speaker 3: the meaning of life? Terracy's the known nuance When.
Speaker 1: You say, so this was going to be your last cracker,
Speaker 1: he's trying in an assisted way to have a baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: had you allowed yourself to go down the path of
Speaker 1: if it didn't work, how your life would look?
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I've been Yeah, and Tom and I both
Speaker 2: went down that path, and we kind of had gone
Speaker 2: so far down it, which is probably why it's hard
Speaker 2: to cry. But we were like, well, let's go to
Speaker 2: Mexico and let's do a Kate and live in Italy
Speaker 2: for a year. And you know what I mean, We
Speaker 2: sort of had decided to find other things that would,
Speaker 2: you know, enrich our life and our experience. But we
Speaker 2: knew that there would always be like a certain level
Speaker 2: of grief, right.
Speaker 3: I just wanted to know. I wanted to know what
Speaker 3: it was like to be a parent. I have this
Speaker 3: thing with and this.
Speaker 2: Is the thought of existentialism, is that, like, what is
Speaker 2: the human experience? I want to have the whole thing?
Speaker 2: You know, I've got a tattoo, and not because I
Speaker 2: wanted one. I want to know how it felt. How
Speaker 2: does it feel to have a baby, How does it
Speaker 2: feel to be a parent? Like I want to have
Speaker 2: the whole gamut of the human experience.
Speaker 1: At what point did you say to Tom, this might
Speaker 1: not be a possibility if you are to stay with me,
Speaker 1: You know that that you're so cognizant of the fact
Speaker 1: that there's another person that may be denied something because
Speaker 1: of the vagaries of the human body.
Speaker 2: He was always like, don't worry about it. We'll have
Speaker 2: a great life anyway.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: It was actually him coming the other way because I
Speaker 2: was like struggling and annoyed and frustrated, and he was
Speaker 2: like he was over it too, because it is it's
Speaker 2: and it's draining on a level that and he was
Speaker 2: just like, you know what, it's not worth it. Your
Speaker 2: mental health isn't worth it, your body isn't worth it,
Speaker 2: and gained a lot of weight, and I was very uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: very unhealthy, and I was so sad, and he was like, Tanya,
Speaker 2: don't worry.
Speaker 3: If we can't have it, we can't have it.
Speaker 2: So like let's grieve and we'll move on. Let's go
Speaker 2: to the zoo and have a couple of lines. You know,
Speaker 2: Like he's he's very mature for his age, but he
Speaker 2: also has three sisters, so I think he really understands women.
Speaker 1: And what's the formation of your family. I know you've
Speaker 1: got your sister.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm the eldest, so which just makes no sense
Speaker 2: because I'm the most immature personal live and my younger
Speaker 2: sister has like the older sister, right, you know, she's
Speaker 2: got that sort of more mature vibe.
Speaker 3: You know, she works in the raft like the Royalistory
Speaker 3: Air Force.
Speaker 2: And you know, the other day I made a video
Speaker 2: about perfume where I wasn't wearing a bra, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean, like with creative and really logistical brains.
Speaker 3: Sort of happened that way.
Speaker 2: And then I've got a brother, a little brother, and
Speaker 2: his wife is due to have a baby, I think tomorrow,
Speaker 2: so oh, we'll have cousins really close four months, which.
Speaker 3: Was part of your fantasy, it was.
Speaker 2: And I think we'll only do one slash. I don't
Speaker 2: only think I can't have another one. I don't want
Speaker 2: to do this again. I cannot do this again one
Speaker 2: and are we really stoked? And hopefully the baby will
Speaker 2: be good friends and close with their cousins so they
Speaker 2: can have like, you know, close relationships, because I just
Speaker 2: I won't.
Speaker 3: Do this to myself, which aspect of it.
Speaker 2: Or first of all, the first trimester is for no one,
Speaker 2: Like why are we painting pregnancy like it's you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know, like people on the beach in overalls being.
Speaker 1: Good yes, flat, decorating a nursery with a roller and
Speaker 1: delightfully artfully splattered with paint.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I barely moved for twelve weeks and
Speaker 2: just survived off twisties and second trimester. I've definitely gotten better,
Speaker 2: but I've been on zol off the whole time. But
Speaker 2: I feel bad about winging about being pregnant because I
Speaker 2: took me solent to get pregnant. So I don't want
Speaker 2: to be seen as being a dick about it, because
Speaker 2: I am very grateful and very thankful. But it is
Speaker 2: not as nice as an experience as I.
Speaker 3: Thought it would. I genuinely thought it would be nice.
Speaker 1: A lot of people have a really terrible time when
Speaker 1: they're pregnant, and yet there are seven billion people in
Speaker 1: the world, so you do know that the payoff has
Speaker 1: to be quite spectacular. Exactly exactly And did you have
Speaker 1: bad morning sickness?
Speaker 3: Yes, yep.
Speaker 2: And I was hosting Pete Haller at the Sydney Riders Festival.
Speaker 2: Was on session and I didn't want to tell p
Speaker 2: because I want to stress him out or like make
Speaker 2: him feel like I wasn't capable of hosting him. But
Speaker 2: I threw up before the session, after the session, like
Speaker 2: the whole before we got there in the car, you know,
Speaker 2: And this is wild, how amazing women are really is
Speaker 2: what it does to your brain, not only to survive
Speaker 2: like the endurance of infertility, but then to go through
Speaker 2: the experience of successful pregnancy and be like whoa this
Speaker 2: is Like I feel like my brain is like what
Speaker 2: is happening?
Speaker 3: Because you kind of get to a point with IVF.
Speaker 2: You get stuck in the rounds, you get stuck in
Speaker 2: the yes, you get stuck in the embryo quality, you
Speaker 2: get stuck in the is it going to sticky? Is
Speaker 2: it going to stay? And then all of a sudden
Speaker 2: you kicked out of the IVF clinic. They're like say, yeah,
Speaker 2: go to an OB. You go to your OB, and
Speaker 2: then you sort of on another path very rapidly after
Speaker 2: years and years of being stuck in sort of neutral
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden you're in third year and
Speaker 2: you don't know what to do. But I'm kind of
Speaker 2: enjoying not knowing what to do because I'm a bit
Speaker 2: of a control freak and I.
Speaker 3: Kind of love that. I'm like, I don't know what's
Speaker 3: going to happen when this kid comes out of me.
Speaker 3: How am I going to change? That's kind of it's scary,
Speaker 3: but I'm also like ready for the change.
Speaker 1: Next Tanua reveals how Christmas became more than a holiday.
Speaker 1: It became the promise of a family she'd fought so
Speaker 1: hard for. Have you projected yourself into the future space
Speaker 1: of being a parent with Tom and worked out what
Speaker 1: sort of parent You're going to be? Like? What is
Speaker 1: your I think there's always like a Hallmark movie moment
Speaker 1: that is your on your mental vision board or whatever?
Speaker 1: Christ is yours Christmas? Right, So this year would be
Speaker 1: our eighth Christmas without a baby. And Christmas has always
Speaker 1: been a really tough time of year because I love
Speaker 1: it so much, and you know, every it's a marker
Speaker 1: of time, and it's like, damn, you know, we didn't
Speaker 1: have the baby this year. Nothing happens like it's passing
Speaker 1: time and I'm aging and that's not a good thing
Speaker 1: in the clinics, you know, it's.
Speaker 2: And I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like.
Speaker 1: Such a gift. I know that is That's a movie.
Speaker 2: So then I think about like fun Christmas names, But
Speaker 2: then I'm like, no, you can't call your kid Noel,
Speaker 2: or can you?
Speaker 3: I don't know, well, Nol was a proper.
Speaker 2: Name in Nol is cool, but like Holly is missletoe,
Speaker 2: too far. Probably elf ELpH Santa, I don't know, just
Speaker 2: got a fierce But so Christmas is something like we
Speaker 2: you know where, like people who went to New York
Speaker 2: for Christmas because we just love Christmas. I decorate the
Speaker 2: four Christmas trees.
Speaker 3: One is pink.
Speaker 2: I've got a Christmas book. I love Christmas. It's my thing.
Speaker 2: And I've been buying Christmas presents for this baby for
Speaker 2: so long, so it's gonna be nice to actually get
Speaker 2: them out. I bought them a good Christmas sack, like
Speaker 2: maybe Stocking twenty sixteen, and I've just hung onto it
Speaker 2: and put stuff in there for years.
Speaker 1: Oh, really like a glory box for a baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And what's in there?
Speaker 2: Oh, there's like blankets and like random toys and just
Speaker 2: you know, like a puppy surprise, because it's more just
Speaker 2: as I like stage pollypocket in there. I wasn't sure
Speaker 2: what I was going to have, so I just got
Speaker 2: a bunch of stuff. But it's more sometimes when the
Speaker 2: transfer works and then you have a chemical for that
Speaker 2: three days, your brain gets tricked into believing you're going
Speaker 2: to be a parent. So a lot of it's been
Speaker 2: purchased during those times or Yeah, but you know, the
Speaker 2: amount of gifts that we've gotten from family members that
Speaker 2: bought them eight years ago is like the coolest thing
Speaker 2: because you're like, these gifts, even though they're kind.
Speaker 3: Of allow, people are bringing them out. Yeah, and people
Speaker 3: held onto them like Wow, they had so much faith
Speaker 3: and hope.
Speaker 2: Like I think that if there's one thing that, like,
Speaker 2: you can take almost anything from me anything, but like
Speaker 2: you'll never be able to take my hope or creativity.
Speaker 2: And they're the two things that have helped me survive, hope.
Speaker 2: And I don't know how how I managed to go
Speaker 2: through this because I look back on it now and
Speaker 2: I feel very sad for myself, Like you, poor bitch,
Speaker 2: what you've been through, Like, hope is loud.
Speaker 3: You must have had a time during the process in which.
Speaker 1: You felt that hope was lost? Or did you never?
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a video of it. I lost my mind.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually filmed a documentary on it. It was
Speaker 2: called Sticky Filmed Three Rounds of IVF.
Speaker 1: Was this the doco that that didn't end up getting shown?
Speaker 1: Was that that much?
Speaker 3: Yeah? No one bought it, And.
Speaker 2: I understand why no one bought it now, because I
Speaker 2: mean that was filmed in twenty twenty and it didn't
Speaker 2: work till twenty twenty five, so that would have been
Speaker 2: a long investment for a potential zero.
Speaker 3: Oh was the idea to follow you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they wanted to show the reality of IVF
Speaker 2: and like the funniness, because sometimes that's funny, like you know,
Speaker 2: once they did you know, they did the thingies up
Speaker 2: the bomb. What do they call the repositories for painkiller?
Speaker 2: They didn't like a scan for the eggs internally, right,
Speaker 2: They took blood out of meat and then they go, now,
Speaker 2: we also need to do a COVID test. I was like,
Speaker 2: what orifice will you not go in today? And the
Speaker 2: answer is all of them?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? I said, why can't Tom
Speaker 3: do the bloody COVID test?
Speaker 2: He his anus has not been taken a frigging painkiller?
Speaker 2: Like come on, it's like that's always better for the
Speaker 2: woman to do it. But yeah, like rough rough Town McGee.
Speaker 2: But I understand why I want picked it up. But
Speaker 2: the footage was quite cool because Amy Schumer did a
Speaker 2: documentary about her experience being pregnant.
Speaker 3: I think she ha hg.
Speaker 2: She had really bad morning sickness and then she was
Speaker 2: touring comedy, and I was like, wouldn't it be cool
Speaker 2: to see the process of fertility?
Speaker 3: But also I was working.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Like I was like hosting
Speaker 2: the actors for the digital section, and I was, you know,
Speaker 2: making sponsored.
Speaker 3: Content at the time.
Speaker 2: I was doing a lot of panel shows, and it
Speaker 2: was like interesting to have these two sort of diametrically
Speaker 2: opposed things running together. And I was like, that would
Speaker 2: make a great doco, but everyone said no to it,
Speaker 2: and I was like, Jesus fucking.
Speaker 3: Christ, that's right. But also that's the industry.
Speaker 1: That was in it response to when you lost hope.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to find some meaning and maybe if
Speaker 2: I could turn my pain into purpose it would be
Speaker 2: somehow worth it. And I think as a content creator
Speaker 2: and a radio announcer and a writer, to have all.
Speaker 3: This sadness and no lesson or no.
Speaker 2: Nothing I could gain out of it just felt so
Speaker 2: worthless and pointless.
Speaker 3: Girl, These these I like through.
Speaker 2: I through a vase this day because I was like
Speaker 2: they said, I was called up and said, no embryos, nothing,
Speaker 2: and I was like I just gained like twenty kilos
Speaker 2: nothing is what like this is? This is wildly unfair?
Speaker 2: Because you normally go to the doctor and the doctor goes,
Speaker 2: you've got a broken leg. Here's what you do about it.
Speaker 2: You go, hey, I got broken fertility and they go,
Speaker 2: we don't know, but we are going to use you
Speaker 2: as a human test dummy for the next twelve to
Speaker 2: fifteen months and we can't promise anything. And it's like
Speaker 2: it's not their fault, but you're like it makes you
Speaker 2: incensed within, like you're furious about like why why can't
Speaker 2: anyone help me or promise me? And you're just looking
Speaker 2: around going, well, someone tell me if this is going
Speaker 2: to work in the answer is no one can.
Speaker 3: So that's why the hope is so necessary to get through.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I had rough times where I was like,
Speaker 2: that's why I have to take like eight months off.
Speaker 3: Just to survive.
Speaker 1: And what was the infertility was attributed to your INDO? Yeah,
Speaker 1: which when were you diagnosed with that?
Speaker 3: Like twenty twenty two? Oh that late years that's why?
Speaker 3: Oh yes, oh what girl?
Speaker 2: It was on the scan. So when they did the
Speaker 2: internal that I begged for. In the internal, they were like, girl,
Speaker 2: you've got really bad endo. How do you Your periods
Speaker 2: must be awful? And I was like this is just
Speaker 2: the radiographer or whatever, you know, she's doing the internal scan.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure if there were job positions. Sorry.
Speaker 2: And and I was like, I have ENDO and she's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's on your bow, it's everywhere. I was like, she's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this is like stage four. She's like, I'm not allowed
Speaker 2: to diagnose though, but you can. It's very it's bad.
Speaker 1: How many stages are there, by the way, five?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, so onne's four, which means on another
Speaker 2: it's on another part of your body.
Speaker 3: So I've got it in my.
Speaker 2: Uterus and bow, or you can have it on your lungs,
Speaker 2: you can have a new kidney, you can have it.
Speaker 2: Some people get no brain their heart, like it's crazy
Speaker 2: because they don't quite know what it is.
Speaker 1: Right, So it's just it's this excess tissue.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but it's inflammatory as well.
Speaker 1: Right. So Tanya, so twenty twenty two, you have been
Speaker 1: exploring the obstacles to your fertility for four years?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Four years?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Has no one, no medical professional at any time during
Speaker 1: that for two years?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So after I did the Jungle, after I did i'm Celab,
Speaker 2: there was a lot of like, oh, you've got you know,
Speaker 2: you keep traveling and you're missing cycles, but you're young
Speaker 2: and you're healthier chicken, you know what I mean. That's
Speaker 2: that's where that conversation came from. The first two years
Speaker 2: we were doing with our medical assistance, and then the
Speaker 2: second so I was just doing I saw on TikTok.
Speaker 3: To be honest with you, but you've still seen a doctor.
Speaker 1: You've seen a doctor and has nobody said at this
Speaker 1: point this is a good starting place for women who
Speaker 1: are experiencing fertility issues, is let's have a look at
Speaker 1: what's going on.
Speaker 3: Didn't happen, No, And that's why that's yeah, it makes
Speaker 3: sense sense.
Speaker 2: This was what I'm saying about advocation, Like I wish
Speaker 2: I had a known that endo was even gonna do
Speaker 2: this to me, Like I thought my pain was super normal.
Speaker 2: Also like I don't know, I'm kind of like the
Speaker 2: ENDO is annoying, but I can survive it. What I
Speaker 2: couldn't survive was not being a parent. And I'm not
Speaker 2: real good at taking no as an answer, Like in general,
Speaker 2: if I want something.
Speaker 1: Yes, but the no could have been a maybe or
Speaker 1: even a yes earlier.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah.
Speaker 2: I like, why didn't they find it when I was
Speaker 2: a teenager and I had to take two days off
Speaker 2: from school most of my you know, ten eleven twelve.
Speaker 2: Why didn't when we first go to the GP, they
Speaker 2: look at that, but it was, oh, you've got to
Speaker 2: lose weight, you know. It was every excuse instead of like,
Speaker 2: let's do an internal, and that's what I begged for.
Speaker 3: The internal.
Speaker 2: That's when it really all shifted. None out of surgery
Speaker 2: and then straight to IVF. And then I went on
Speaker 2: a menopause drug, a synthetic menopause drug that which was
Speaker 2: really messed up. I took that flick six months and
Speaker 2: it basically stops your menstrual flow, so it stops your
Speaker 2: eggs from getting amongst the endometriosis and the inflammation. But
Speaker 2: as a result you go it two synthetic menopause.
Speaker 3: I'm not looking forward to menopause.
Speaker 2: After like six months of it, I was like, wow, Like,
Speaker 2: you get the hot flushes, you get really emotional, your
Speaker 2: boobs go up and down, all of the symptoms of menopause,
Speaker 2: but you're trying to achieve the opposite.
Speaker 1: So through all of this, you're being funny, attempting to
Speaker 1: be you're being funny.
Speaker 2: I've actually achieved attempting.
Speaker 1: Like it's amazing. And I say this as someone whose
Speaker 1: son had leukemia and I did my job, which was
Speaker 1: also being funny for four years and people would always go,
Speaker 1: I don't know how you did it. But now I'm
Speaker 1: saying to you, yeah, so true. But I understand because
Speaker 1: in my.
Speaker 3: Cause you see, yeah what you will.
Speaker 1: Well, in my case, it was sometimes the only I
Speaker 1: was doing breakfast radio with Hughsey.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why it was breaky.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was breaky. And very often I couldn't make
Speaker 1: it to the studio. I'd have to be at the
Speaker 1: hospital or home with our other three children for various
Speaker 1: reasons when things were really terrible. But when I did
Speaker 1: make it there, it would sometimes be the only time
Speaker 1: in my day, in my week, in my month that
Speaker 1: was not about cancer. Oh and do you find that,
Speaker 1: did you find that blessed release?
Speaker 3: Oh for sure, because yeah, like one thing I loved.
Speaker 2: About doing full time radio and I'm not done full
Speaker 2: time radio on a long time now, but god, I
Speaker 2: loved it back in the day when it was there's.
Speaker 1: Only eight people doing full time radio.
Speaker 2: I know, but because you really, like, no matter what
Speaker 2: was going on in my life, I could always go
Speaker 2: on air and it would just disappear.
Speaker 3: Everything else would disappear.
Speaker 2: And you know if it's the antidote to anxiety really
Speaker 2: because you're so present, because you have to be, you
Speaker 2: have to be right there in the moment, listening, responding, reacting,
Speaker 2: live and one hundred per one hundred percent content creation
Speaker 2: and you know, doing film, television, books, books, book tours, whatever, podcasting.
Speaker 2: It became my safe space and fund space because it
Speaker 2: was like nothing else.
Speaker 1: You've also had. You know, there are parallels in our
Speaker 1: experience since as far as that goes, but you also
Speaker 1: had it going on within your body and the flattening
Speaker 1: that can happen with hormonal surges and treatments and whatever
Speaker 1: is like nummy, I know.
Speaker 2: But Kate, like, I freelance so I can choose whether
Speaker 2: or not I do and don't work, which not all
Speaker 2: the time because sometimes you need money to.
Speaker 3: Live and rent to this concepts, But like I think
Speaker 3: when you.
Speaker 2: Work in a team, like how you know you were
Speaker 2: with hughs, it's so hard to not come into work
Speaker 2: because you do feel like, oh no, you know, I'm
Speaker 2: like the team and the team and this and you
Speaker 2: hold it differently to when you're a freelancer doing it solo.
Speaker 2: But I mean, yeah, I had to cancel a lot.
Speaker 2: I still I don't like to cancel a lot like
Speaker 2: or at all, because I still have that and I
Speaker 2: don't know if you have this still. I'd be interested
Speaker 2: to know, because I do see a lot of myself
Speaker 2: in you imposter syndrome, Like I'm so scared to say
Speaker 2: no to an opportunity because of what if it never
Speaker 2: comes up again.
Speaker 3: So that's why I never want to cancel all a thing.
Speaker 1: That's a freelancer thing. And I think showbies generally as well.
Speaker 1: If you're not a NEPO baby and you haven't been
Speaker 1: born with this clear pathway to you know, the yellow
Speaker 1: brick road that leads to OZ, then I think you
Speaker 1: always have a thing that I need to accept this
Speaker 1: opportunity because this opportunity may not come again, And it's
Speaker 1: true that certain opportunities only come once.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I had this amazing opportunity the other day.
Speaker 2: I lost my mind over it. It was an animation.
Speaker 2: Can you deal doing it? An animation?
Speaker 3: It's like my freaking dream. And it was a villain.
Speaker 2: It was a cartoon villain, and I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my God, and I auditioned, I did the whole thing,
Speaker 2: and I got it. And I've auditioned a lot and
Speaker 2: got nothing, Like I'm not even kidding A probably audition
Speaker 2: for one hundred and twenty things back in the day
Speaker 2: and got literally nothing. I am actually incredibly talented at
Speaker 2: not getting auditions, unbelievably skilled, honestly, I should write about it.
Speaker 2: But I got this job, and I was so sick,
Speaker 2: I was so mourning sick.
Speaker 3: But I was like, I'm going to take everything possible
Speaker 3: and I'm going to pretend.
Speaker 2: And once I got behind the microphone, you know, I was,
Speaker 2: you know, going through it, but I was like, come on,
Speaker 2: come on, this is like and it was the best day.
Speaker 2: It was the best day of my career. And I
Speaker 2: got to push it away for like a bit and
Speaker 2: get there. But like it's so different. This pain, like
Speaker 2: not pain, but like this, you know, the difficulty of
Speaker 2: pregnancy is nothing compared to the difficulty of infertility.
Speaker 3: Like I prefer this.
Speaker 1: Then, well because also one is finite and one is infinite.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, real infinite, And that's the hardest part of it.
Speaker 1: And when you imagined your life, I know that you
Speaker 1: said you and Tom, Tom was always like, we're going
Speaker 1: to have a great life. What was it that was
Speaker 1: so important about having a child? To you?
Speaker 3: I feel like a part of me just wouldn't have
Speaker 3: felt whole.
Speaker 2: And I hate saying that because I know some people
Speaker 2: can't have children, they don't want to have children. But
Speaker 2: I'm speaking on my personal.
Speaker 1: Life, of course, And can I just say as well,
Speaker 1: there's a real tendency for us not want to not
Speaker 1: want to hurt other people with what we have, and
Speaker 1: I do think you need to set that aside because
Speaker 1: not everyone can have everything. It's really hard, it's terrible.
Speaker 1: We all have friends who have not held in their arms.
Speaker 1: It's a little one that they wanted to hold.
Speaker 2: Yeah, isn't that Blue episode? That blue episode where the
Speaker 2: ant cast day because she can't have children? God, that
Speaker 2: episode is so meaningful to me because I felt like
Speaker 2: I've not been the best aunt.
Speaker 3: When did you see it? Where were you at when
Speaker 3: you saw it?
Speaker 2: I think I was like around six of IVY and
Speaker 2: I was like no, no, no, no, no, five five, and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh god, and I wasn't getting anything
Speaker 2: as my eggs kept breaking because the quality was so bad.
Speaker 3: And so then just yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I've always wanted to be a parent because
Speaker 2: I want to know how it feels. I want to
Speaker 2: know what life is like to be a parent. I
Speaker 2: want to see the world through a child's eyes.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I feel like I just need to see them. I
Speaker 3: need to meet them. What do they like? What are they?
Speaker 3: Do they like cricket? Do they like them?
Speaker 1: For your sake that they don't like cricket?
Speaker 4: Girl?
Speaker 2: If on a Sunday, I can't, I am anyway, But no,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm like, I'm just fascinated to know.
Speaker 1: After this break, Tanya gets real about the fears that
Speaker 1: linger even as she counts down to becoming a mom.
Speaker 1: What were you like when you were young?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, chit.
Speaker 2: I was a little shit. I'm so afraid for myself.
Speaker 2: I was so naughty.
Speaker 3: I was so like opinionated. When I was three, I
Speaker 3: had my own radio show, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: Like I was, you know those.
Speaker 2: Like little It was like a Fisher and Pike call thing,
Speaker 2: and you'd press record and play at the same time
Speaker 2: and record your own voice. And I had a little
Speaker 2: microphone attached to it was like white plastic with a
Speaker 2: Fisher and Pike sort of red and blue.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right, yeah, yeah, you had that yes,
Speaker 1: And I used to say words that rhymed with duck,
Speaker 1: you know, just for entertainment for my parents, and they.
Speaker 2: Were like, go away, and I was a real little
Speaker 2: teenage nightmare, very opinionated, very creatively stuck. Radio saved my
Speaker 2: life because I I could finally be creative in my
Speaker 2: own terms. Really, because being an actor you wait for opportunities.
Speaker 3: Radio Yes is just.
Speaker 1: Do yes, and there's an immediacy.
Speaker 3: There's an media see that really suits you. Yes and
Speaker 3: say with social.
Speaker 2: Social really opened up the world for me in terms
Speaker 2: of creating, because it's I'm find creating insatiable, Like I
Speaker 2: just want to make and create, Like I wrote five
Speaker 2: books this year.
Speaker 3: It's August.
Speaker 2: I've been pregnant and done around the five years and
Speaker 2: had an endo surgery. I just am very addicted to stories.
Speaker 2: I love to tell stories, write stories, connect with people,
Speaker 2: and I just I want this baby to grow up
Speaker 2: in the I don't know magical way that I did.
Speaker 2: You know, I had such a great childhood and my
Speaker 2: pop was so present, you know, I want them to
Speaker 2: be like a part of my parents' life. And my
Speaker 2: brothers and sisters.
Speaker 3: And you know, how is Tom's family? What's his family situation?
Speaker 2: So he's the youngest of four and yeah, all girls,
Speaker 2: and they have all had children, like long, long time,
Speaker 2: Like the oldest is old.
Speaker 3: Ah, so you've got babysitters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they live in Bloody to Woomba ah, not
Speaker 2: into warm Yeah. Yeah, but I'm sure they'll come down.
Speaker 2: They're all really pretty. Tom's sisters, they're all very attractive.
Speaker 2: But they all have long, dark hair, and so do I,
Speaker 2: which makes me slightly confused about Tom's issues with famili.
Speaker 3: Right, Like I have long dark hair and all the
Speaker 3: sisters like, bro, what's this about? Let's talk.
Speaker 1: Well there there's not that many choices. No, you're right,
Speaker 1: I mean really, it's it's not that strange.
Speaker 3: And Ted Bundy love to a girl with long, straight hair.
Speaker 3: So does he call you sis? Twice?
Speaker 2: He has no Sometimes I call him mum though, because
Speaker 2: he does so much for me. And he's a chef, right,
Speaker 2: so his love language is foods, so he's like making
Speaker 2: food all the time.
Speaker 3: I'm like thanks, Mom, Like Jesus, Nope, that's not okay.
Speaker 1: Is your plan when the baby comes? What's your work plan.
Speaker 2: Tom's gonna be a stay at home dad, so he
Speaker 2: we've structured it so he'll not work for twelve months
Speaker 2: and I'll probably work within three months of uh giving birth.
Speaker 2: But I'll do a C section. Not saying that that's easier.
Speaker 2: I think it's actually going to be harder. I'm not
Speaker 2: sure what's going to happen there. I've got to have
Speaker 2: to see a midwife because I'm like, what happens after
Speaker 2: it's out? Like, do you chat to it for a
Speaker 2: little bit. It's obviously varied it.
Speaker 3: Ah, if you're are you having a C section? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well I know about that because I've had four of them.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah yeah, so I don't have the option
Speaker 2: because of my endometriosis.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. So they'll they give the baby to
Speaker 1: the alleged father, yes, as I call Peter Lewis, and
Speaker 1: then you they kind of clean you up and stitch
Speaker 1: you up. Yeah, very important to stitch you up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then sometimes it's quite sort of quick, maybe an hour,
Speaker 1: but I had one that was a bit wonky and
Speaker 1: that was maybe two and a half hour until I
Speaker 1: saw Peter and the baby.
Speaker 3: Oh, so they kind of go away with the baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they yes, because they're not in the operating room
Speaker 1: or you're getting all that done, and then you see
Speaker 1: the baby. I'll turn your hair nessy, I mean you
Speaker 1: see the baby straight away. When you have the baby,
Speaker 1: they put the baby on your cheest so you have
Speaker 1: that moment, and they dangle the baby over the screen.
Speaker 3: Yes, I love a dangle that the dangle is great.
Speaker 1: And then Tom will probably be up because I said
Speaker 1: I didn't want Peter seeing my innerds.
Speaker 3: I don't know how you are about that, but I'm like,
Speaker 3: it's already.
Speaker 1: I never wanted him down that, you know, business end,
Speaker 1: which was once was the party end.
Speaker 3: Party end.
Speaker 1: And then he'll be there like stroking your head with
Speaker 1: a little with your hair net on, and then hopefully
Speaker 1: one of the kind people in the operating theater will
Speaker 1: be filming it for you, also once again omitting the
Speaker 1: parts in which you're cut open like a whale. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to see any of those.
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 1: And then they hand you the baby, and then the
Speaker 1: baby is on your chest and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my goodness, this is who you were all the time.
Speaker 1: How did I not know it was you? You make perfect sense,
Speaker 1: don't Okay, that's that's going to be you.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's so bizarre because you go you see them as
Speaker 2: it as an embryo on a screen, you know, and
Speaker 2: they're oh gosh, they're like a pin prick right like
Speaker 2: it's nothing, you can't see it, and then all of
Speaker 2: a sudden it's it's got a heartbeat, but it's just
Speaker 2: a jelly bean and then it looks like a lizard
Speaker 2: for a couple of months, and then it sort of
Speaker 2: looks like a person.
Speaker 1: What size are you at now?
Speaker 2: It's the size of there was a Cantalob night, a
Speaker 2: Cabrey Easter bunny. I've gone with the chocolate because where
Speaker 2: you can pick things.
Speaker 4: Like I do fruit, I was like, nah, I'll do
Speaker 4: I'll do the chocolate Cadbury Easter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what the big bundy are the bunny like,
Speaker 1: you know, like the elegant rabbit.
Speaker 3: No, not the elegant one, the bogan money just like
Speaker 3: not the elegant one that's red, sure, sort of the
Speaker 3: one down from that, like the middle side. Okay, and
Speaker 3: you know what you're having? I do? I do?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And are you keeping that under wraps?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of it has to do
Speaker 2: with fear. I'm like, what if I say it out
Speaker 2: loud and then they don't come?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like that strange thing about not not buying
Speaker 1: baby clothes.
Speaker 2: I've not bought anything myself yet, like I have in
Speaker 2: the past, but not currently. We do have a pram
Speaker 2: at home that we were sent, which was like the
Speaker 2: wildest thing.
Speaker 3: I was like, who sends a pram?
Speaker 1: This is who did send a pram? A company?
Speaker 3: A company? Oh lovely, Yeah, I'll take.
Speaker 5: Yeat.
Speaker 3: Yes, I was Suzuki. What can I what can I take? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like it's it's it's scary still, it's I'm scared most days.
Speaker 1: Okay this to you, yes, ma'am. When you become a parent,
Speaker 1: you also become the carrier of a parcel of fear.
Speaker 3: Oh great, you just do. Because there are certain.
Speaker 1: Things in the world that when it's involving you, you
Speaker 1: feel that you have some autonomy over all, that you
Speaker 1: can handle it or whatever. But when you have a baby,
Speaker 1: you're putting your little ship out to see in the
Speaker 1: stormiest of waters whatever. You don't know what that little
Speaker 1: bows is going to encounter.
Speaker 3: I know, I know, I see with my friends all
Speaker 3: the time, and like, kids.
Speaker 1: Get bullied and whatever.
Speaker 3: Can you not go down to the school and bash them?
Speaker 1: Like so, well I have I have done a bit
Speaker 1: of the yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but iye work.
Speaker 1: But part of it as well is you have to
Speaker 1: have the faith that you had that has led you
Speaker 1: to here. Yes, and most people in the world are
Speaker 1: deserving of that faith.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: And if there's a gift that you can give your
Speaker 1: unborn child, it is to give them that faith and
Speaker 1: instill them with that faith in the world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone told me something really interesting, long story, but
Speaker 2: I randomly played a drug dealer on Bump the Christmas movie.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah right, ahu regnant by the way, aha.
Speaker 2: Ah, rolling around playing this drug dealer with tats on
Speaker 2: my face like it was actually really iconic. But I
Speaker 2: said to Claudia carbon I was like, do you have
Speaker 2: any advice for me because you have kids? And she goes,
Speaker 2: everything is temporary, and I was like, that is excellent.
Speaker 3: Including the tattoos on your face. Well on one has lasted.
Speaker 2: Did it's some serious exfoliation? But yes, she said, everything's temporary,
Speaker 2: so like it will end. So once you become great
Speaker 2: at being a toddler mom, goodbye. They're they're at school,
Speaker 2: and then you you know it's temporary.
Speaker 3: And I was like, so true.
Speaker 1: When do you think you'll allow yourself the luxury of
Speaker 1: leaning into it and believing that.
Speaker 2: It's going to happen when they cut it out and dangle. Oh,
Speaker 2: I just hope they're okay. I'm just like, are you
Speaker 2: okay in there? Am I eating the right food?
Speaker 4: But also I mean people, Oh, meth and her tanyah,
Speaker 4: tell you can I tell us we're a fertility specialist
Speaker 4: way back at the day. And I said, she goes, now,
Speaker 4: do you smoke? I said no. She goes, great, that's
Speaker 4: really bad for you. Do you do any recreation of drugs?
Speaker 3: Meth? What do you any of that? I said no,
Speaker 3: as a recreation drug meth?
Speaker 2: And I said no, and she goes, well, to be honest,
Speaker 2: meth isn't the worst. You better to have meth than cigarettes.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: I was like, imagine, imagine me just casually.
Speaker 1: What So it's back to the other thing that I
Speaker 1: think is it's a massive industry frightening women when they're pregnant. Oh, yes,
Speaker 1: about what about everything about what you can eat and
Speaker 1: what you blah blah and you.
Speaker 3: Oh and there's too much information out there.
Speaker 1: The word there is, and it's a list that they're
Speaker 1: like always adding to.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but once again, I go seven billion people in
Speaker 1: the world, and there's a lot of soft cheeses that
Speaker 1: have been eaten, right.
Speaker 2: Yes, I because I've had such a crazy road, I
Speaker 2: refuse to eat anything bad. I'm like, I will not
Speaker 2: eat the soft jeep, I won't eat ruddy eggs. I
Speaker 2: won't eat ham in saying that the day this kid
Speaker 2: comes out of me, I am going to be it
Speaker 2: hit hard with some botox, retinoal, every kind of alcohol, like.
Speaker 1: And a drive through macas meal.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I love McDonald's so much. I never loved
Speaker 3: it more.
Speaker 1: I guarantee no matter where you have the baby, there'll
Speaker 1: be a McDonald's nearby. It's the rule of hospitals.
Speaker 3: I hope.
Speaker 2: So actually that is true. You know what's been really nice? Okay,
Speaker 2: Like where I go to the pharmacy. I used to
Speaker 2: go get all my fertility meds, right, and then I
Speaker 2: went to get all my end demetrios surgery, you know,
Speaker 2: my painkillers, and then I went to go get my
Speaker 2: as all off so they know that I'm pregnant before
Speaker 2: anybody else.
Speaker 3: And the women in the pharmacy are just so beautiful
Speaker 3: and they all got together and they're like, we know,
Speaker 3: oh my god, you.
Speaker 2: Know all the nurses that saw me for my endo
Speaker 2: surgery and every like both of them, and you know,
Speaker 2: it's so lovely how how much love I've been shown
Speaker 2: and how much support I've been shown, And I feel
Speaker 2: so grateful for people giving a shit about this story,
Speaker 2: to be honest, Like when I shared it, I thought
Speaker 2: it was going to be like twenty minutes later I
Speaker 2: was going to have a baby. I thought i'd have
Speaker 2: a five year old by now. The whole story just
Speaker 2: kind of I really didn't see it lasting this long.
Speaker 3: But you know why, because you have invited people in
Speaker 3: and it resonates with you know, it's a universal desire. True.
Speaker 1: Without the desire to have children, that's the end of us.
Speaker 1: And it's particularly unusual for someone who has a profile
Speaker 1: to share so openly, yeah, their pain.
Speaker 3: And it's also because.
Speaker 1: You hold a place of affection in people's hearts because
Speaker 1: of your comedic work.
Speaker 2: Maybe people are just so lovely And I'm constantly shocked
Speaker 2: at how many people care, like even just like we
Speaker 2: go for walks and people stop us on walks. I
Speaker 2: guess the thing is, sometimes I'm very confused as to
Speaker 2: how many people know who I am, Kate, because I
Speaker 2: just like make social media contact by myself. You do
Speaker 2: radio by yourself something, you know, it's very like you know,
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden people know who you
Speaker 2: are only like oh, okay, whoops, sorry I forget.
Speaker 1: And why are you surprised that people are so loving
Speaker 1: towards you?
Speaker 2: Oh, I just didn't think people would kind of care
Speaker 2: like for people like thumbs up, move on. You know,
Speaker 2: it's so lovely that people hold space for you. In
Speaker 2: a world where time is a commodity, caring is like
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Caring is hard for when
Speaker 2: you know we've got no time and space for anyone
Speaker 2: or anything other than ourselves.
Speaker 3: Often, you know, because life is hard and stressful, and
Speaker 3: so the fact that.
Speaker 2: Someone could remember my name and remember that I went
Speaker 2: through a struggle then can remember that I got.
Speaker 3: It to work is kind of amazing in this day
Speaker 3: and age. It really is.
Speaker 1: But also because life is hard and stressful, that's why
Speaker 1: you need a baby. So true, that is just the
Speaker 1: that is the It's like looking into a fire.
Speaker 3: Do you miss your babies? Like, do you miss your
Speaker 3: kids as babies?
Speaker 1: Ah, I'm not very nostalgic, and I don't know if
Speaker 1: that is because one of my children really died, So
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because of that that I'm
Speaker 1: not particularly But I was outside of primary school the
Speaker 1: other day and I went, oh, do I miss that
Speaker 1: aspects of it? I do, I think, But also I'm
Speaker 1: really glad I don't have to do school pickup?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, But I don't.
Speaker 1: Want to put you off.
Speaker 3: School's great schools.
Speaker 1: It's not at all like you're going back to school. Girl.
Speaker 2: I'm so bad at mouth and stuff like that. I
Speaker 2: don't know what I'm going to do in saying that.
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to go really narcissistic foot bok
Speaker 2: quick because I've written kids book. There's no way my
Speaker 2: kid is not going as Pink Santa. I am going
Speaker 2: to use my child. There's a little bit of marketing there,
Speaker 2: got pink Easter coming out. Guess what pink Easter.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, the child is an extension of you
Speaker 1: and an extension of Tom, so the child is going
Speaker 1: to be more toterrating.
Speaker 3: Tom's such a lovely man. God, I hope they more
Speaker 3: more Tom than me.
Speaker 1: Well, how is he, by the way, when you told him?
Speaker 1: And when did you tell him? Was he with you?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: Am I bled on Easter? And so I was like
Speaker 2: that was four days or five days after the transfers.
Speaker 2: While I was like, it's chemical, it's not worked again.
Speaker 2: And then we called the IVF clinic went in for
Speaker 2: bloods HGG levels rising and they were like, no, it's
Speaker 2: actually very positive. Your hCG is almost twins. It's really high.
Speaker 2: So the blood is nothing, don't worry about it. And
Speaker 2: so I think people do expect this moment where you
Speaker 2: tell them, but it's more like like a clock, it's
Speaker 2: just slowly ticking and say, with my mom and my
Speaker 2: siblings and stuff like that, there's no moment because they
Speaker 2: were there.
Speaker 3: They were there when I planned.
Speaker 2: And so I was like, okay, so it's positive, but
Speaker 2: we're not sure and no one, No one goes who
Speaker 2: because it's six seven days.
Speaker 3: So it is. It is definitely different to a traditional pregnancy.
Speaker 2: And when I see people do these big announcement videos,
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I'm so kind of jealous in away,
Speaker 2: but I would never take back my experience because what
Speaker 2: I have is so great, But it's definitely different to
Speaker 2: that reveal or like when he comes home with a
Speaker 2: pregnancy test it's positive, Like I more tested. So once
Speaker 2: I found out, I probably went through like seventy pregnancy
Speaker 2: tests because I would test three or four and if
Speaker 2: the line got lighter, i'd have a yeah. Like so
Speaker 2: I'm just like, please stay, please stay with me, and
Speaker 2: they come to me sometimes in a like acupuncture and
Speaker 2: stuff like that. I don't have to do that much anymore,
Speaker 2: but I still do it for stress relief, but I'm asking,
Speaker 2: what is your name? What is your name? Did you
Speaker 2: know your kid's names? Did they present them to you?
Speaker 1: Or?
Speaker 3: I think by number three we were having trouble.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and because they came quite rapidly, Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: the same thing, I think. And because I had my
Speaker 1: babies quite late, and you know, you hear so much
Speaker 1: about declining fertility or whatever, we just weren't prepared that
Speaker 1: when you open the damn wall, what can be waiting
Speaker 1: behind there. So by number three we had trouble. But
Speaker 1: Lewis Lewis was self evident. Yes, fierce Sunday Lewis. We
Speaker 1: knew because Sunday would have been Lewis's name, if Sunday was.
Speaker 1: If Lewis was a girl, then we had Artie Honore Lewis,
Speaker 1: who's number three, and then Yanni after my dad. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: are you doing family names or well?
Speaker 2: See, I quite like I was saying this to your fair.
Speaker 2: I quite like Hennessy, which is my last name as
Speaker 2: a fair, which is.
Speaker 1: A beautiful name. Girl?
Speaker 3: Is it not? Nasa?
Speaker 2: So like, I feel like I'm so up why I
Speaker 2: feel like people be like there's a Zilian.
Speaker 1: Name, but but you know what, people smile?
Speaker 5: True?
Speaker 1: Like really, although would it be it wouldn't be Hennessy Hennessy, No, but.
Speaker 3: That would be kind of fierce. Very Lewis Lewis, Yeah,
Speaker 3: very Lewis Lewis.
Speaker 1: I love it so good.
Speaker 3: You named her him? Just like, is that a non
Speaker 3: binary baby? It's not.
Speaker 2: It's just an easier way for me to communicate it
Speaker 2: because I want to say the gender is so bad,
Speaker 2: but I don't want to muck myself up.
Speaker 1: No, don't, and I won't make you. What have you
Speaker 1: learnt about yourself? Do you think that's surprised you?
Speaker 2: I've always thought I was resilient, and now I know
Speaker 2: I'm resilient. I think that I've been in parenting boot
Speaker 2: camp since I decided that I, well, we decided we
Speaker 2: want to have kids, which was seven years ago. So
Speaker 2: I feel like, if there's one thing I've learned, it's patience,
Speaker 2: which I've always struggled with as somebody who does content
Speaker 2: and creation immediate with immediacy, So patience is something I
Speaker 2: really struggle with, which is why I have not done
Speaker 2: film or television because it's very long and it's very annoying.
Speaker 2: But I've learned patience. I've also learned more better boundaries.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you the second I got pregnant, I feel
Speaker 2: like my boundaries and people pleasing.
Speaker 3: Shifted hard how well.
Speaker 2: I was like, I no longer can just like listen
Speaker 2: to people say things that aren't true and just not
Speaker 2: along because it's easier. I was like, no, I got
Speaker 2: to stand up for myself because I want my kids
Speaker 2: to stand up for themselves and not just keep over
Speaker 2: to people and people pleasing and just agreeing to be you.
Speaker 3: Know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And I think the other thing I learned is that
Speaker 2: even before you become a parent, you need a community,
Speaker 2: Like it takes a village to raise a mother. M
Speaker 2: It takes a village to raise a child, but it
Speaker 2: takes a village to raise a mom. And I feel
Speaker 2: like I've grown up a lot. Sometimes I didn't want
Speaker 2: to grow up, but I did.
Speaker 3: I wish it.
Speaker 2: I wish I didn't have to go through this experience.
Speaker 2: I wish most people didn't have to go through this.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a very lonely agony.
Speaker 2: It's also really annoying just having to go to the
Speaker 2: IVF clinically six days a week.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And you know, the faith that you were talking about before,
Speaker 1: at the very least you would think that you can
Speaker 1: have faith in your body and you don't have that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's a terrible thing.
Speaker 2: And just nothing is promised, you know, nothing is as
Speaker 2: you grow up. First time I had sex, Kate, I
Speaker 2: made my boyfriend at the time wear two condoms because
Speaker 2: I was like, I will not be a teen mother. Girls,
Speaker 2: that didn't matter. I would not have been a teen mother.
Speaker 2: I could have slept around a lot. But you know,
Speaker 2: you don't know that. And you but the narrative we're
Speaker 2: sold is don't have sex because you'll get pregnant, And
Speaker 2: so you go, I will have children.
Speaker 3: I will have children.
Speaker 2: So then it's very shocking to find out that you
Speaker 2: potentially won't because you think it's going to be your choice.
Speaker 1: But guess what I know say it.
Speaker 3: I will be having a baby. Christmas will be a
Speaker 3: rough money Christmas. I hope it comes. I hope it
Speaker 3: comes so I can have.
Speaker 1: Had Oh my god, you're all twisted up like a pretzel,
Speaker 1: and yet you're as loose as a goose girl.
Speaker 3: You are exactly as you should be. Do you reckon?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, this is it. Welcome to not knowing anything.
Speaker 2: I mean I've never known anything, so now I feel
Speaker 2: very very comfortable.
Speaker 1: Hey, what will you whisper to the baby when you
Speaker 1: meet the baby?
Speaker 3: I have a song?
Speaker 1: What's the song? Do you know?
Speaker 3: Smile by Michael Jackson.
Speaker 5: Your heart is breaking, Yes, smile even though it's breaking. Oh,
Speaker 5: when there's a tune that there's a time you must
Speaker 5: keep on trying.
Speaker 1: Smile. Ye.
Speaker 3: Beautiful of that song.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a beautiful song. You've made me crying. You're
Speaker 1: like you're desiccated, like ain't nothing coming out of here.
Speaker 3: I feel bad for you.
Speaker 2: I would say, I would say I've waited my whole
Speaker 2: life to me because I have. I really have waited
Speaker 2: my whole life to meet to meet them, and I
Speaker 2: I'm actually like counting the weeks because people count, you know, like,
Speaker 2: oh I'm twenty two weeks. I'm nineteen weeks till I
Speaker 2: can meet them.
Speaker 3: I do the other way because I've already waited so long.
Speaker 2: This is my eighth year, and I'm like yeah, because
Speaker 2: it's I'm like, hurry up, I want to meet you.
Speaker 3: I want to take you to Disney.
Speaker 1: Wow, Tanya Hennessy, you will be in motherhood as you
Speaker 1: are in life, maniac, a maniac full of joy.
Speaker 3: It might be a bit stressed next time you see me.
Speaker 3: I might look older and grayer.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think it's having kids keeps
Speaker 1: you young until it kills you. Oh great, positive parenting,
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, I think I don't know about that. To
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm a fan of Oh me too.
Speaker 2: I'm also going to make my kids watch care Bears,
Speaker 2: well kid, like, I'm gonna make them watch eighties stuff.
Speaker 2: You will be watching the Land before time. Why wouldn't they, Well,
Speaker 2: I've got news shows.
Speaker 1: Not if you cut off the Wi Fi?
Speaker 3: So true, I'm like, oh, so weird.
Speaker 2: The Wi Fi is down all you can watch is Moms, tiktoks.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 1: I wish you every.
Speaker 3: Joy, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm hoping that my my my tears come, if
Speaker 2: I'm honest with you, because it feels like I'm a
Speaker 2: bit blocked and it hurts.
Speaker 3: It hurts to not be able to cry.
Speaker 1: Don't come.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I put my eyes up to the hair conditioning
Speaker 2: just to try and make myself cry.
Speaker 3: It doesn't work.
Speaker 1: What about when you're watching emotional things?
Speaker 3: No, I can't cry in therapy. You can't cry anywhere. Really,
Speaker 3: everyone found out the gender couldn't cry really.
Speaker 2: Okay, And I'm very connected to my film, so I
Speaker 2: don't know what it's a self protection on another level.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, good, But Liz, I'm telling you that, Liz,
Speaker 3: I'm telling you that. It's like I'm aware that it's happening.
Speaker 3: I'm not just some stoic asshole. You are a bit
Speaker 3: stoic though, Oh you reckon? Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. I
Speaker 3: love the stoics. Do you not normally stoic? It's just
Speaker 3: respects them. It's this point, but you look at what
Speaker 3: you've done for eight years.
Speaker 1: You're a stoic.
Speaker 3: Do you driven that you are as well in a way.
Speaker 1: Yes, I definitely am the Dutch.
Speaker 2: You know, you're so grounded. You're way more grounded than
Speaker 2: I have ever been.
Speaker 3: It's my heavy wooden shoes.
Speaker 1: Sorry. In a strange what's that expression? Synergy? You met Breathe,
Speaker 1: the producer of No Filter, on a Disney cruise earlier
Speaker 1: this year. Yeah, and she had taken her niece and nephew.
Speaker 3: I think, oh my god, they're so cute. The nephew.
Speaker 2: The reason that we spoke to each other because the
Speaker 2: nephew was being sousey and like he was like, guess
Speaker 2: who I saw the lily And I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god.
Speaker 1: This kid is cool. Yeah, you know, like a sassy kid.
Speaker 3: And I was like, is this boy yours?
Speaker 2: And she was like, no, it's my nephew. And I
Speaker 2: was like, this kid. I love their energy. I love
Speaker 2: kids like that, you know, who just walk up to
Speaker 2: a stranger and tell them some random fact.
Speaker 1: But at that point, so that was January, You're on
Speaker 1: a Disney cruise which is.
Speaker 3: Full kids kids. Yeah, and he's five days earlier.
Speaker 2: I just had an endo surgery, so I was in
Speaker 2: a bit of pain and on en don't But the
Speaker 2: thing is everywhere is full of children, and it's hard
Speaker 2: because you're like, I wish I could have this, and
Speaker 2: I want this, And you see all the parents at
Speaker 2: the pool and like looking up them and they're getting
Speaker 2: them ice cream and like someone like Disney Cruise, it's
Speaker 2: like these kids are having the best time. It's not
Speaker 2: just a fun time, it's like the ultimate life. And
Speaker 2: you go, that's why I want to give my kid
Speaker 2: this so bad. So an experience like that makes me well.
Speaker 2: It made me like, I'm going to take these bloody
Speaker 2: intralipids and I'm going to time everything perfect perfectly to
Speaker 2: make sure that this one stuck as much.
Speaker 3: As I could. That was did you have a sense that,
Speaker 3: yes that he did? For sure?
Speaker 2: Yes, done everything right. I took off all this time.
Speaker 2: I lost fifty three kilos so and that was an
Speaker 2: inflammatory thing on top of the end.
Speaker 1: Of what a response. Was that a response to the
Speaker 1: drugs or yes, that's a lot, that's a person three killers?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I look, you lost a person and gained
Speaker 3: a person. Oh my god, I did too.
Speaker 2: So I timed the endometrious the surgery and I was like, buggert,
Speaker 2: I will be going on a Disney cruise, and then
Speaker 2: I timed we embryo banked at the end of last year,
Speaker 2: so it would be a fresh transfer a frozen transfer,
Speaker 2: which is a bout for endemetri.
Speaker 3: So I did a lot of.
Speaker 2: Research and then I did the BONDI or the protocol
Speaker 2: on top of it. So it was like I just
Speaker 2: was like, this will work. And I changed my mindset.
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that that works for everybody.
Speaker 3: Yeah my mind right.
Speaker 2: I had to go, how's it going to look when
Speaker 2: I put them to bed? How's it going to look
Speaker 2: when they're you know, when I'm holding them? How am
Speaker 2: I going to swaddle them? How am I going to
Speaker 2: breast or bottle feed? And when I really started to
Speaker 2: imagine it, that's what I think changed for me.
Speaker 1: How is it going to look when you put them
Speaker 1: to bed?
Speaker 3: I wanted to have them next to me in that.
Speaker 2: Have you seen those those cribs that sort of like
Speaker 2: lay next and you can put them up and down.
Speaker 1: And I just like, oh, I'm.
Speaker 2: Going to put them to bed and I'll sing to them.
Speaker 2: You know, it's an audience of one and they have
Speaker 2: to enjoy that. You will enjoy the High School Musical
Speaker 2: two soundtracks sung by me, and you know that was
Speaker 2: really and just watching them go to sleep and their
Speaker 2: little face, imagining that really crystallized in my mind.
Speaker 3: And then I was doing a lot of kinesiology where
Speaker 3: you ask the baby to come to you.
Speaker 1: Ah.
Speaker 3: The lady said.
Speaker 2: When I did kinesiology this last time, which was two
Speaker 2: weeks before the transfer, She's like, you don't need any
Speaker 2: help because you've done it all the work. And I
Speaker 2: was like, I know. And they put the best embryo
Speaker 2: in there, and I was like, you will last. And
Speaker 2: I didn't have any deodorant. I didn't drink Yeah, literally
Speaker 2: I did went without deodorant rank but I didn't want
Speaker 2: to have any scent and I changed to natural deoda
Speaker 2: and I didn't drink any cold water nothing like I.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just looking.
Speaker 3: Like she did.
Speaker 1: No, I'm just looking at you. I'm just looking at you.
Speaker 1: It makes me really happy when when you finally cry,
Speaker 1: what's going to happen?
Speaker 3: It'll be like, uh, Noah's ark.
Speaker 2: I just won't stop crying, Like I think, it's all
Speaker 2: like open the flood gates and it won't end.
Speaker 1: Are you more of a sad crier or a happy crier?
Speaker 2: I will cry at anything, and that's why this is
Speaker 2: so frustrating, and I'm h I hate it. I hate
Speaker 2: that I can't really I feel like I can't get
Speaker 2: any release. And also it drives people insane because people
Speaker 2: like want me to cry and I can't.
Speaker 3: My friends and stuff, they're like, they cry all that.
Speaker 2: My best two best friends every time they see me,
Speaker 2: they cry, like my two best mates. They've both have children,
Speaker 2: and every time they see my belly they cry because
Speaker 2: they've been through it with me.
Speaker 3: My brother cried.
Speaker 2: You know, he's thirty two. He's not a cry And
Speaker 2: my brother found out like it was. It was a
Speaker 2: long process. But when he thought, you know, when I
Speaker 2: was up the twelve week mark, he cried at breakfast.
Speaker 2: My sister in law cries all the time, and they're like,
Speaker 2: why can't you cry.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I know, it's annoying, you're saving yourself.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, you know, my mom my dad. It was
Speaker 1: four years since he died yesterday and my mom has
Speaker 1: not cried. And she's also puzzled by the fact that
Speaker 1: she hasn't cried. And I'm talking about we cried so
Speaker 1: much at his funeral that the chapel ran out of tissues.
Speaker 1: So we were all crying. The boys got up and spoke,
Speaker 1: and everyone was just bereft. And he was old. He
Speaker 1: was eighty nine, and they obviously think old people don't
Speaker 1: you don't love. Old people, don't get loved as much
Speaker 1: as you know, you'd expect to cry like a young
Speaker 1: person's funeral. But we were just awash with tears. And
Speaker 1: my mother nothing dry as a dingo. Yeah, and still not,
Speaker 1: and she doesn't know why.
Speaker 2: Yes, I thought, maybe there's only so many tears you
Speaker 2: get in life, and I've already used up on my
Speaker 2: tears on pregnancy.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're an idiot. You wait, you're going to be
Speaker 1: crying like a little bitch, I hope.
Speaker 3: So I need to rub this with me.
Speaker 1: You know it's going to make you cry.
Speaker 2: Tom with the baby, even Tom he holds the dog,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, that's so cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he talked. But seeing Tom with the baby,
Speaker 1: you're gonna cry like someone left the cake out in
Speaker 1: the room. Hey, one more question.
Speaker 3: Actually, because you've.
Speaker 1: Been on this uncharted track, there have been other people
Speaker 1: that have been on it with you that you would
Speaker 1: have gotten to know. How how do you feel? How
Speaker 1: was it telling them that you've finally had success when
Speaker 1: maybe they haven't.
Speaker 2: In my experience, every person I had been through the
Speaker 2: journey with of infertility with and they'd been doing IVF simultaneously.
Speaker 3: To me, I was the last basically the.
Speaker 2: Last one really except for one friend, and I told
Speaker 2: her end. I didn't dread it because I was like,
Speaker 2: I've just got to tell you and just be really
Speaker 2: honest and straightforward.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Literally every other person that was on the journey with me,
Speaker 2: one has a five year old. Like I'd only had
Speaker 2: one friend left, and they started later as well, So
Speaker 2: that's interesting. Most people have, yeah, had two or three
Speaker 2: babies in the time that I've tried to have one,
Speaker 2: which these time stamps are cooked.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, time just passes. But like you said earlier,
Speaker 1: if you measure it with a child, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's what five years like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm like, all I've done in five years
Speaker 2: is sort of just go to and from Donut King,
Speaker 2: Merrickfield Metro.
Speaker 3: You've done quite a lot, right right, a little bit.
Speaker 1: More than beautiful.
Speaker 3: Get me out of here. Otherwise I'll just talk to
Speaker 3: Kate till the end of time.
Speaker 1: Tanya Hennessy is one of those people that, to me
Speaker 1: feels like she's always been around. She's made us laugh,
Speaker 1: she's made us cry, she's reminded us just how messy
Speaker 1: and beautiful life can be. And she's shared the hardbats,
Speaker 1: which are sometimes the most difficult parts to share, her endometriosis,
Speaker 1: her fertility struggles, the long winding road to the destination
Speaker 1: of this baby, with an honesty that's unflinching and real
Speaker 1: and touching. Today we celebrate her joy, but her story
Speaker 1: isn't just about a happy ending. It's about resilience and
Speaker 1: love and the courage to keep going even when life
Speaker 1: doesn't make it easy, and as always, a little laughter
Speaker 1: along the way helps more than just about anything else.
Speaker 1: Be sure to subscribe to No Filter to hear more
Speaker 1: extraordinary stories from the people who have lived them. The
Speaker 1: executive producer of No Filter is Nama Brown, The senior
Speaker 1: producer is Bree Player. Audio production is by Jacob Brown,
Speaker 1: and video editing is by Josh Green. This episode was
Speaker 1: recorded with Session in Progress Studios and I am your host,
Speaker 1: Kate Langbrook, and I thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1: If you're looking for more, to listen to every Mumma
Speaker 1: Mia podcast is curating your hot Girl summer listening right
Speaker 1: across our network. From pop culture to beauty to powerful interviews,
Speaker 1: there is something for everyone and you will find the
Speaker 1: link in the show notes. Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional
Speaker 1: owners of the land and waters that this podcast is
Speaker 1: recorded on.