WEBVTT - Tanya Hennessy: The Christmas Baby Story That Started Here

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to Amma Mia podcast. Hello, I'm kateline Brook

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<v Speaker 1>and welcome to No Filter. This summer, we've curated a

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<v Speaker 1>special No Filter playlist with some of our most unforgettable conversations,

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<v Speaker 1>and this one feels especially joyful to revisit. Tanya Hennessy

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<v Speaker 1>is one of Australia's funniest and most beloved creators, but

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<v Speaker 1>behind the laughs, she's had a really long, painful road

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<v Speaker 1>to motherhood, years of IVF and heartbreak, and always she

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<v Speaker 1>maintained hope. When we recorded this conversation, Tanya was finally

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<v Speaker 1>pregnant after eight years of trying. She shared the reality

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<v Speaker 1>of infertility with raw honesty and humor, some of it dark,

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<v Speaker 1>and she spoke about her dream of spending Christmas with

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<v Speaker 1>the baby she'd waited for so long to meet. And

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<v Speaker 1>now all this is give him me goosebumps. That dream

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<v Speaker 1>has come true. Tanya and her husband Tom have welcomed

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<v Speaker 1>their little miracle. So today we're revisiting the full conversation

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<v Speaker 1>that touched so many hearts, the story of what it

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<v Speaker 1>takes to keep believing when everything feels impossible. Here is

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<v Speaker 1>Tanya Hennessy.

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<v Speaker 2>Christmas has always been a really tough time of year

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<v Speaker 2>because I love it so much, and you know, every

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<v Speaker 2>it's a marker of time, and it's like, damn it.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, we didn't have the baby this year.

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing happens like it's passing time and I'm aging and that's.

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<v Speaker 3>Not a good thing in the clinics, you know, it's.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like

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<v Speaker 2>such a gift.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Welcome to No Filter. I'm Kate line Brook and

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<v Speaker 1>today I'm sitting down with Tanya Hennessy. Is funny, she's relatable,

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<v Speaker 1>she's endlessly honest. But behind the laughs, she's faced a

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<v Speaker 1>very long, very hard road to one of life's most

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<v Speaker 1>cherished milestones, becoming a mother. In this conversation, Tanya opens

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<v Speaker 1>up about the heartbreak, the hope, and the quiet moments

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<v Speaker 1>that tested her strength. She talks candidly about her battle withindometriosis,

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<v Speaker 1>the challenges of infertility, and how she brought her audience

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<v Speaker 1>along with her every step of the way, sharing the raw, real,

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<v Speaker 1>often messy journey. And then, finally, the moment she got

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<v Speaker 1>the baby news she'd been waiting for, a moment of

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<v Speaker 1>joy that's deeply personal, yet a reminder that every journey

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<v Speaker 1>to parenthood is different, and that hope, courage, and perseverance

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<v Speaker 1>look different for everyone. Here is Tanya Hennessy. Tania Hennessy. Welcome, Welcome,

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to No Filter.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, this is a good podcast for me

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<v Speaker 2>because I was not born with a filter.

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<v Speaker 3>It gets me into trouble sometimes.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's perfect for you. But let me welcome you

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<v Speaker 1>by saying this, Hello mama.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh girl, don't I'm so emotional, but I can't cry

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<v Speaker 2>figure that one out?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you just get me to know? Though?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I think the process of IVF and loss has

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<v Speaker 2>made it really difficult to connect to my I can't try.

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<v Speaker 3>It's so weird, it's so bizarre.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think drives me up the wall? Because you

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<v Speaker 1>have spoken very openly about the seven years ooh of

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<v Speaker 1>fertility treatments and loss, as you said, and you've had endo.

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<v Speaker 1>You've been really lucky.

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<v Speaker 2>My god, how much money can I spend on this

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<v Speaker 2>unborn child? I know, almost one hundred and twenty grand,

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<v Speaker 2>which is like outrageous. I don't have a house, and

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have much savings because I've made some fertility choices.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, like, I really think that if I hadn't

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<v Speaker 2>have gone through all of this nonsense with fertility, maybe

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<v Speaker 2>I'd be connected slightly more. I'm a little bit worried

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<v Speaker 2>about it, kay, to be honest, because I'm worried that

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<v Speaker 2>this baby's gonna come out and I'm going to be

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<v Speaker 2>dissociative with it because it's like, I also have an

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<v Speaker 2>anterior placenter, so I can't feel them kicking.

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<v Speaker 3>What does what does that mean?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't. I don't know much of biology though I've

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<v Speaker 1>had four children. Anterior placenta, so anterior outside something oh no, oh.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, yes, where would it normally be. It's on the front,

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<v Speaker 3>so oh okay, it kicks, so it's at the run.

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<v Speaker 2>So basically every time you can have at the back

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<v Speaker 2>or the side, but the frunt is where they.

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<v Speaker 3>Kick kick, and you can't feel anything.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's I'm like, I also just look a bit chubby,

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<v Speaker 2>which is fine, but I've been this size before, so like, I'm.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, are you there?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you there? Yes? Yeah? Right, you haven't had that

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<v Speaker 1>moment yet where you've kind of popped and you go

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<v Speaker 1>I look to the world like a pregnant lay.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, And even the scans I reckon my brain can't

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<v Speaker 2>quite understand that that's in me because it looks like

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<v Speaker 2>a film or something. You know, everyone has this scan,

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<v Speaker 2>but I've never had the scan where you said the

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<v Speaker 2>baby right.

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<v Speaker 3>Ever, I've always just had empty, empty scan. My brain

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<v Speaker 3>can't compute that that's in me, and I am in therapy.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a really it's really working.

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<v Speaker 3>It's really working, honest, my therapist.

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<v Speaker 2>Just like saw you on the cover of that Body

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<v Speaker 2>and Soul, I'm like, girl, are you therapising?

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<v Speaker 1>You?

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<v Speaker 3>Just a fan?

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<v Speaker 1>Like that was a great cover, by the way, Yeah, and.

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<v Speaker 2>You know it's it was that was so scary. Kate like,

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<v Speaker 2>who oh god, oh but I did it.

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<v Speaker 1>I did it well. You know, everything that you've done

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<v Speaker 1>is sort of scary, including uh, once you decide, if

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<v Speaker 1>you decide that you want to have a baby, and

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<v Speaker 1>then you find out that you can't or that the

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<v Speaker 1>path is going to be littered with so many obstacles,

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<v Speaker 1>that is really scary. Looking into the abyss of that

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<v Speaker 1>is scary, and particularly for women because we're so conscious

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<v Speaker 1>of the concept of time m and being on borrowed time.

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<v Speaker 3>Especially in this industry. I think you do find that

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<v Speaker 3>as well.

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<v Speaker 2>Like my whole life and I don't know about you,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know, I used to be wanted to be

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<v Speaker 2>an actor, particularly back in the day, and it was

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<v Speaker 2>very much like.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh so did I really Yeah, you have to forty.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to forty, you have to find forty felt

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<v Speaker 2>like off deadline. You couldn't act anymore, you couldn't do anything.

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<v Speaker 2>You were invisible at forty and at thirty nine. Being

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<v Speaker 2>pregnant feels, you know, it's the weirdest thing. I'm on

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<v Speaker 2>the precipice. My birthday will be three weeks before. By

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<v Speaker 2>fortieth birthday, three weeks before I give birth.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like, that's bizarre.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm like turning forward and having this turn of

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<v Speaker 2>life at the same time as giving life. And my

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<v Speaker 2>brain is like, but I'm really excited at the same time,

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<v Speaker 2>but terrified, which I think is kind of normal.

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<v Speaker 1>It's interesting because when we were setting up the tech here,

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<v Speaker 1>I was just watching you and you were so still

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<v Speaker 1>and composed, and I thought, oh, it's a it's another

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<v Speaker 1>nuance of Tanya Hennessy.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh the stillness.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, m do you feel how do you feel different? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>there's so many things I want to discuss with you.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's go to the moment, the moment where, and in

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<v Speaker 1>IVF procedures because they're so invasive, there's no secrets, are there.

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<v Speaker 3>Nah.

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<v Speaker 2>And when my embryo was going in my my doctor

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<v Speaker 2>was cranky at me because I did a different protocol

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<v Speaker 2>and he was like, Tanya Lyrish or Scottish, Tana, do

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<v Speaker 2>you not trust me? And I was like, it's not

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<v Speaker 2>that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't

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<v Speaker 2>have much mental space left. And if this doesn't work,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what I'm going to do. I work

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<v Speaker 2>in comedy, bro Like, I got no jokes. I've got

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<v Speaker 2>no light left in me. I've got to try everything.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not personal, it's drag like I'm trying to get

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<v Speaker 2>this done.

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<v Speaker 1>Also, I don't know how professional that is, although I do,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. I don't think this is

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<v Speaker 1>the point when you're having an embryo transfer at which

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<v Speaker 1>the doctor should make it about them.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But being through like the medical system, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think people like, yeah, I have a lot to say

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<v Speaker 2>about it, and how misdiagnosed situations get and how things

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<v Speaker 2>get forgotten and how much you have to advocate for

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<v Speaker 2>yourself to be honest, being on the other side of

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<v Speaker 2>fertility is so nice because I don't have to go

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<v Speaker 2>into a room and fight for myself like I have

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<v Speaker 2>had to do. And it's wearing and exhausting, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>going in and being like please help me, believe me,

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<v Speaker 2>and telling your story fifteen times, and you know, people

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<v Speaker 2>taking money from you and saying they're gonna help you,

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<v Speaker 2>and you.

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<v Speaker 3>Know, like it's vulnerable.

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<v Speaker 2>You're like, hey, I just need help, and people like, yeah, sure,

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<v Speaker 2>if you pay me six hundred dollars and then I'll

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<v Speaker 2>put you on this thing and it might work and

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<v Speaker 2>it might not yo.

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<v Speaker 1>And then because you've done this for a long time,

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<v Speaker 1>pretty well since you got together with Tom, or not

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<v Speaker 1>long after you got together with Tom.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so like twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, like you're in

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<v Speaker 2>a studio with Angus O'Laughlin and we used to do

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<v Speaker 2>radio together and we were trying then, and Angus and

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<v Speaker 2>I have not done radio together since twenty nineteen, and

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<v Speaker 2>like he would know, and he's probably listening to this,

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<v Speaker 2>but he would know. I used to come in and

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<v Speaker 2>be like it's not working. It's not working, you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean. That's a long hours time, right, Angus

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<v Speaker 2>has had two.

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<v Speaker 3>Babies since then. By the way, that's what I'm talking about.

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<v Speaker 3>It in that term is really interesting too.

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<v Speaker 1>And then what did how are you navigating the You know,

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<v Speaker 1>when you are in a relationship with someone and you

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<v Speaker 1>decide that you are committed enough to each other that

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<v Speaker 1>you want to have children, and then it seems that

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<v Speaker 1>it's a possibility, which I think before you have a child,

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of women think I'm not going to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to have a child, and I think men probably

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<v Speaker 1>think the same thing, only they're right.

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<v Speaker 3>They can contribute.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, the women are the pig in the

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<v Speaker 1>bacon and eggs, like we committed. The chicken is participating.

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<v Speaker 1>That is the funniest That's one of my mothers.

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<v Speaker 3>Really stupid. I love it so much. The chicken is

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<v Speaker 3>just participating.

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<v Speaker 1>But the pig is committed.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the figures in there. Yeah, so Tom tinks younger

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<v Speaker 3>than me.

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<v Speaker 2>He's only thirty two and I'm thirty nine, right, so

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<v Speaker 2>he's young.

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<v Speaker 3>So we were like, oh, he won't have any problems.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know, we were told for a really long time,

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<v Speaker 2>you're really young and healthy relatively, it should be fine.

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<v Speaker 3>So yeah, because that's thirty two, is young to start.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, and he was twenty what seven twenty six

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<v Speaker 2>twenty he was younger that seven years younger than thirty

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<v Speaker 2>two whatever that is.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't do math.

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<v Speaker 2>So we were just told, like constantly, just keep trying,

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<v Speaker 2>just keep trying, just keep trying. And then eventually they.

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<v Speaker 3>Did a I begged.

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<v Speaker 2>I begged for an internal I was like, there's something wrong,

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<v Speaker 2>like this is insane.

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<v Speaker 3>He's like, you're stressed.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was at that time, I you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>was doing a I did a reality show and that

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<v Speaker 2>really messed with my head. And I was going like

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<v Speaker 2>backwards and forwards between jobs in Melbourne and Sydney and overseas.

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<v Speaker 1>And what was the reality show?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh I'm a still ah right, okay, the the UK one?

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<v Speaker 3>Nor did the Australian one.

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<v Speaker 1>The Australian one?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, okay, but that was rough. I found that show

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<v Speaker 3>so hard, Like I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>People love it, but like I hated it and still

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<v Speaker 2>think about it and hate it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that's interesting. Why did you hate it?

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<v Speaker 2>Because you can't stop the door. And I'm so painfully

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<v Speaker 2>annoyingly creative that I hated not being able to create anything.

0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:16.040
<v Speaker 2>I just wanted to draw in the dirt or like

0:12:16.119 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 2>write something, and I wasn't allowed to It's like just

0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:20.960
<v Speaker 2>to have a chat with somebody else.

0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:23.559
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, but I don't want to talk to I

0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.359
<v Speaker 3>don't want to do that. I want to create something.

0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:29.999
<v Speaker 1>And one of those things about I mean, one of

0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.559
<v Speaker 1>the things about the job that we do is that

0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:35.800
<v Speaker 1>you can't just see a people. You have to look

0:12:35.839 --> 0:12:38.559
<v Speaker 1>for the diamond in the people in people. Yes, but

0:12:38.719 --> 0:12:44.839
<v Speaker 1>some people are just rocks and if that yeah, yeah,

0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:48.079
<v Speaker 1>and so that's a long time to spend with rocks.

0:12:48.479 --> 0:12:48.679
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:51.360
<v Speaker 2>And I took my podcasting equipment in there, and like

0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:53.679
<v Speaker 2>that was kind of fun. So I got to interview

0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:55.880
<v Speaker 2>people as a part of you know, that was my

0:12:56.079 --> 0:12:59.559
<v Speaker 2>luxury item. By the way, tell you like a work

0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:01.959
<v Speaker 2>addict who takes podcasting it with.

0:13:01.719 --> 0:13:03.960
<v Speaker 3>Me, what's wrong with me?

0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:06.639
<v Speaker 2>But I like, at least I was sort of doing

0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:10.400
<v Speaker 2>something that felt proactive because reality people like Charlotte Crossby,

0:13:10.479 --> 0:13:13.599
<v Speaker 2>she's amazing, but she's really good at just existing and

0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:16.839
<v Speaker 2>making content by existing, whereas I'm a little bit more curated,

0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:19.280
<v Speaker 2>like I want to make something like a book or

0:13:19.599 --> 0:13:23.199
<v Speaker 2>a show or social video, and it's sort of more

0:13:23.319 --> 0:13:26.119
<v Speaker 2>orchestrated where She just exists and it's funny and brilliant,

0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:28.160
<v Speaker 2>and I just didn't have that capacity. And I would

0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:30.520
<v Speaker 2>look and there was Maths guys and Love Island guys

0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.520
<v Speaker 2>and they were really good at it. And I just

0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:34.559
<v Speaker 2>felt like, oh, I don't know how to just exist.

0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:39.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm more curated than existing. I'm not very interesting.

0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:43.879
<v Speaker 3>And unless I'm curated, maybe well, Tracey's.

0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:46.360
<v Speaker 1>Got to make it an outing, is what you're saying,

0:13:47.119 --> 0:13:52.519
<v Speaker 1>is because you have, you know, people that live inside you. Yes,

0:13:52.959 --> 0:13:53.719
<v Speaker 1>not just the baby.

0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:56.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's so weird to think there's like a

0:13:56.599 --> 0:13:59.359
<v Speaker 2>whole spine in me right now, Like how weird. But

0:14:00.079 --> 0:14:03.280
<v Speaker 2>Tracy actually came out of being so sick of myself

0:14:03.439 --> 0:14:05.679
<v Speaker 2>that I created this car who's a sixty year old

0:14:05.719 --> 0:14:09.279
<v Speaker 2>hairdresser and Baptist who has not trained since she went

0:14:09.319 --> 0:14:11.840
<v Speaker 2>to Tafe in the eighties, and I just really wanted

0:14:11.839 --> 0:14:14.640
<v Speaker 2>to do someone who just wasn't going through fertility challenges.

0:14:15.079 --> 0:14:19.520
<v Speaker 2>And she's in development for television, so you know, sometimes

0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:24.280
<v Speaker 2>darkness brings out rainbows. And I always thought that I

0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:27.240
<v Speaker 2>probably wouldn't have children just based on what I'd been through,

0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:28.680
<v Speaker 2>and I thought this would this is going to be

0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:32.280
<v Speaker 2>the last round this one. If it didn't work, I

0:14:32.359 --> 0:14:34.960
<v Speaker 2>was just gonna I would I would just have to

0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.960
<v Speaker 2>be satisfied with my life. I was going to find satisfaction.

0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:42.519
<v Speaker 2>But Tracy coming out of the darkness has actually been

0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:45.360
<v Speaker 2>one of the best things for me, because she's amazing.

0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:49.720
<v Speaker 1>We're into this woman because also she's even in the

0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:54.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, our conversation so far that you are beset

0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:59.200
<v Speaker 1>by doubt as a lot of creative people are, and

0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.120
<v Speaker 1>she has none none.

0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:03.519
<v Speaker 3>So confident.

0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:09.639
<v Speaker 2>Her like and she she doesn't have fertility struggles. She's

0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:13.480
<v Speaker 2>not overly complex, which I love, you know. I'm like

0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:17.240
<v Speaker 2>adhd deep as a well, very existential, like I think

0:15:17.239 --> 0:15:20.440
<v Speaker 2>about thinking all the time, and Tracy's just sort of like, oh,

0:15:20.479 --> 0:15:21.320
<v Speaker 2>this is what's in front of me.

0:15:21.359 --> 0:15:23.960
<v Speaker 3>I'll just deal with it. Whereas I go, oh, what's

0:15:24.119 --> 0:15:30.759
<v Speaker 3>the meaning of life? Terracy's the known nuance When.

0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:32.840
<v Speaker 1>You say, so this was going to be your last cracker,

0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:38.080
<v Speaker 1>he's trying in an assisted way to have a baby. Yeah,

0:15:38.359 --> 0:15:42.400
<v Speaker 1>had you allowed yourself to go down the path of

0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:45.080
<v Speaker 1>if it didn't work, how your life would look?

0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh, yeah, I've been Yeah, and Tom and I both

0:15:47.479 --> 0:15:49.800
<v Speaker 2>went down that path, and we kind of had gone

0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:51.680
<v Speaker 2>so far down it, which is probably why it's hard

0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:54.279
<v Speaker 2>to cry. But we were like, well, let's go to

0:15:54.359 --> 0:15:57.040
<v Speaker 2>Mexico and let's do a Kate and live in Italy

0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:59.400
<v Speaker 2>for a year. And you know what I mean, We

0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:03.800
<v Speaker 2>sort of had decided to find other things that would,

0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:08.519
<v Speaker 2>you know, enrich our life and our experience. But we

0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.920
<v Speaker 2>knew that there would always be like a certain level

0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:12.480
<v Speaker 2>of grief, right.

0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:15.640
<v Speaker 3>I just wanted to know. I wanted to know what

0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:17.000
<v Speaker 3>it was like to be a parent. I have this

0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:17.759
<v Speaker 3>thing with and this.

0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:21.360
<v Speaker 2>Is the thought of existentialism, is that, like, what is

0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:23.920
<v Speaker 2>the human experience? I want to have the whole thing?

0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:26.080
<v Speaker 2>You know, I've got a tattoo, and not because I

0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:29.519
<v Speaker 2>wanted one. I want to know how it felt. How

0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:32.600
<v Speaker 2>does it feel to have a baby, How does it

0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:34.600
<v Speaker 2>feel to be a parent? Like I want to have

0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:36.600
<v Speaker 2>the whole gamut of the human experience.

0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:41.639
<v Speaker 1>At what point did you say to Tom, this might

0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:45.880
<v Speaker 1>not be a possibility if you are to stay with me,

0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:50.479
<v Speaker 1>You know that that you're so cognizant of the fact

0:16:50.479 --> 0:16:54.920
<v Speaker 1>that there's another person that may be denied something because

0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:57.320
<v Speaker 1>of the vagaries of the human body.

0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:02.000
<v Speaker 2>He was always like, don't worry about it. We'll have

0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:02.920
<v Speaker 2>a great life anyway.

0:17:03.119 --> 0:17:03.320
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:05.920
<v Speaker 2>It was actually him coming the other way because I

0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:09.080
<v Speaker 2>was like struggling and annoyed and frustrated, and he was

0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:10.960
<v Speaker 2>like he was over it too, because it is it's

0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:15.840
<v Speaker 2>and it's draining on a level that and he was

0:17:15.919 --> 0:17:17.800
<v Speaker 2>just like, you know what, it's not worth it. Your

0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:19.879
<v Speaker 2>mental health isn't worth it, your body isn't worth it,

0:17:19.919 --> 0:17:23.400
<v Speaker 2>and gained a lot of weight, and I was very uncomfortable,

0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:27.399
<v Speaker 2>very unhealthy, and I was so sad, and he was like, Tanya,

0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:28.000
<v Speaker 2>don't worry.

0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:29.439
<v Speaker 3>If we can't have it, we can't have it.

0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.719
<v Speaker 2>So like let's grieve and we'll move on. Let's go

0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:34.639
<v Speaker 2>to the zoo and have a couple of lines. You know,

0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:38.159
<v Speaker 2>Like he's he's very mature for his age, but he

0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:41.480
<v Speaker 2>also has three sisters, so I think he really understands women.

0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:46.359
<v Speaker 1>And what's the formation of your family. I know you've

0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:47.119
<v Speaker 1>got your sister.

0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:51.200
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm the eldest, so which just makes no sense

0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.159
<v Speaker 2>because I'm the most immature personal live and my younger

0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:58.520
<v Speaker 2>sister has like the older sister, right, you know, she's

0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.159
<v Speaker 2>got that sort of more mature vibe.

0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.480
<v Speaker 3>You know, she works in the raft like the Royalistory

0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:05.240
<v Speaker 3>Air Force.

0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:07.280
<v Speaker 2>And you know, the other day I made a video

0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:11.399
<v Speaker 2>about perfume where I wasn't wearing a bra, you know

0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:15.560
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, like with creative and really logistical brains.

0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:17.359
<v Speaker 3>Sort of happened that way.

0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:19.280
<v Speaker 2>And then I've got a brother, a little brother, and

0:18:19.679 --> 0:18:22.119
<v Speaker 2>his wife is due to have a baby, I think tomorrow,

0:18:22.639 --> 0:18:26.879
<v Speaker 2>so oh, we'll have cousins really close four months, which.

0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:29.359
<v Speaker 3>Was part of your fantasy, it was.

0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:31.960
<v Speaker 2>And I think we'll only do one slash. I don't

0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.520
<v Speaker 2>only think I can't have another one. I don't want

0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:37.399
<v Speaker 2>to do this again. I cannot do this again one

0:18:37.919 --> 0:18:40.200
<v Speaker 2>and are we really stoked? And hopefully the baby will

0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:42.919
<v Speaker 2>be good friends and close with their cousins so they

0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:46.759
<v Speaker 2>can have like, you know, close relationships, because I just

0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:48.000
<v Speaker 2>I won't.

0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:51.200
<v Speaker 3>Do this to myself, which aspect of it.

0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:55.280
<v Speaker 2>Or first of all, the first trimester is for no one,

0:18:55.480 --> 0:19:01.159
<v Speaker 2>Like why are we painting pregnancy like it's you know,

0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:04.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, like people on the beach in overalls being.

0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:09.719
<v Speaker 1>Good yes, flat, decorating a nursery with a roller and

0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.199
<v Speaker 1>delightfully artfully splattered with paint.

0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:17.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm like, I barely moved for twelve weeks and

0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:22.879
<v Speaker 2>just survived off twisties and second trimester. I've definitely gotten better,

0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:26.199
<v Speaker 2>but I've been on zol off the whole time. But

0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I feel bad about winging about being pregnant because I

0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:30.240
<v Speaker 2>took me solent to get pregnant. So I don't want

0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:31.800
<v Speaker 2>to be seen as being a dick about it, because

0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:35.639
<v Speaker 2>I am very grateful and very thankful. But it is

0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:38.840
<v Speaker 2>not as nice as an experience as I.

0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.560
<v Speaker 3>Thought it would. I genuinely thought it would be nice.

0:19:41.639 --> 0:19:45.520
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people have a really terrible time when

0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:48.520
<v Speaker 1>they're pregnant, and yet there are seven billion people in

0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:52.840
<v Speaker 1>the world, so you do know that the payoff has

0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:59.480
<v Speaker 1>to be quite spectacular. Exactly exactly And did you have

0:19:59.639 --> 0:20:00.760
<v Speaker 1>bad morning sickness?

0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:02.480
<v Speaker 3>Yes, yep.

0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:05.720
<v Speaker 2>And I was hosting Pete Haller at the Sydney Riders Festival.

0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:08.800
<v Speaker 2>Was on session and I didn't want to tell p

0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:10.439
<v Speaker 2>because I want to stress him out or like make

0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:13.520
<v Speaker 2>him feel like I wasn't capable of hosting him. But

0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:16.280
<v Speaker 2>I threw up before the session, after the session, like

0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:19.639
<v Speaker 2>the whole before we got there in the car, you know,

0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:22.479
<v Speaker 2>And this is wild, how amazing women are really is

0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:25.520
<v Speaker 2>what it does to your brain, not only to survive

0:20:25.639 --> 0:20:30.199
<v Speaker 2>like the endurance of infertility, but then to go through

0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:33.800
<v Speaker 2>the experience of successful pregnancy and be like whoa this

0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:36.080
<v Speaker 2>is Like I feel like my brain is like what

0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:36.879
<v Speaker 2>is happening?

0:20:36.919 --> 0:20:39.240
<v Speaker 3>Because you kind of get to a point with IVF.

0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:41.639
<v Speaker 2>You get stuck in the rounds, you get stuck in

0:20:41.639 --> 0:20:44.399
<v Speaker 2>the yes, you get stuck in the embryo quality, you

0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:47.280
<v Speaker 2>get stuck in the is it going to sticky? Is

0:20:47.280 --> 0:20:49.159
<v Speaker 2>it going to stay? And then all of a sudden

0:20:49.159 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 2>you kicked out of the IVF clinic. They're like say, yeah,

0:20:52.399 --> 0:20:54.080
<v Speaker 2>go to an OB. You go to your OB, and

0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:57.359
<v Speaker 2>then you sort of on another path very rapidly after

0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:00.119
<v Speaker 2>years and years of being stuck in sort of neutral

0:21:00.679 --> 0:21:02.199
<v Speaker 2>and all of a sudden you're in third year and

0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:05.439
<v Speaker 2>you don't know what to do. But I'm kind of

0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:07.639
<v Speaker 2>enjoying not knowing what to do because I'm a bit

0:21:07.639 --> 0:21:08.639
<v Speaker 2>of a control freak and I.

0:21:08.679 --> 0:21:10.400
<v Speaker 3>Kind of love that. I'm like, I don't know what's

0:21:10.399 --> 0:21:11.879
<v Speaker 3>going to happen when this kid comes out of me.

0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:15.400
<v Speaker 3>How am I going to change? That's kind of it's scary,

0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:17.439
<v Speaker 3>but I'm also like ready for the change.

0:21:21.080 --> 0:21:24.919
<v Speaker 1>Next Tanua reveals how Christmas became more than a holiday.

0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:29.320
<v Speaker 1>It became the promise of a family she'd fought so

0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:36.199
<v Speaker 1>hard for. Have you projected yourself into the future space

0:21:36.240 --> 0:21:39.760
<v Speaker 1>of being a parent with Tom and worked out what

0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:41.879
<v Speaker 1>sort of parent You're going to be? Like? What is

0:21:41.919 --> 0:21:46.560
<v Speaker 1>your I think there's always like a Hallmark movie moment

0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:50.679
<v Speaker 1>that is your on your mental vision board or whatever?

0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:54.959
<v Speaker 1>Christ is yours Christmas? Right, So this year would be

0:21:55.000 --> 0:21:57.399
<v Speaker 1>our eighth Christmas without a baby. And Christmas has always

0:21:57.440 --> 0:22:00.360
<v Speaker 1>been a really tough time of year because I love

0:22:00.399 --> 0:22:03.480
<v Speaker 1>it so much, and you know, every it's a marker

0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:05.359
<v Speaker 1>of time, and it's like, damn, you know, we didn't

0:22:05.399 --> 0:22:08.080
<v Speaker 1>have the baby this year. Nothing happens like it's passing

0:22:08.159 --> 0:22:11.160
<v Speaker 1>time and I'm aging and that's not a good thing

0:22:11.200 --> 0:22:12.680
<v Speaker 1>in the clinics, you know, it's.

0:22:14.119 --> 0:22:17.560
<v Speaker 2>And I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like.

0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Such a gift. I know that is That's a movie.

0:22:24.760 --> 0:22:26.800
<v Speaker 2>So then I think about like fun Christmas names, But

0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:28.600
<v Speaker 2>then I'm like, no, you can't call your kid Noel,

0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:29.399
<v Speaker 2>or can you?

0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:32.359
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, well, Nol was a proper.

0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:36.200
<v Speaker 2>Name in Nol is cool, but like Holly is missletoe,

0:22:36.240 --> 0:22:40.759
<v Speaker 2>too far. Probably elf ELpH Santa, I don't know, just

0:22:40.800 --> 0:22:46.119
<v Speaker 2>got a fierce But so Christmas is something like we

0:22:46.480 --> 0:22:50.520
<v Speaker 2>you know where, like people who went to New York

0:22:50.600 --> 0:22:54.639
<v Speaker 2>for Christmas because we just love Christmas. I decorate the

0:22:55.000 --> 0:22:55.879
<v Speaker 2>four Christmas trees.

0:22:56.359 --> 0:22:56.960
<v Speaker 3>One is pink.

0:22:57.040 --> 0:22:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I've got a Christmas book. I love Christmas. It's my thing.

0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:02.199
<v Speaker 2>And I've been buying Christmas presents for this baby for

0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:04.840
<v Speaker 2>so long, so it's gonna be nice to actually get

0:23:04.879 --> 0:23:08.439
<v Speaker 2>them out. I bought them a good Christmas sack, like

0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:11.999
<v Speaker 2>maybe Stocking twenty sixteen, and I've just hung onto it

0:23:12.040 --> 0:23:13.439
<v Speaker 2>and put stuff in there for years.

0:23:13.679 --> 0:23:16.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh, really like a glory box for a baby.

0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:17.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:23:17.919 --> 0:23:18.879
<v Speaker 1>And what's in there?

0:23:19.240 --> 0:23:23.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh, there's like blankets and like random toys and just

0:23:24.280 --> 0:23:28.119
<v Speaker 2>you know, like a puppy surprise, because it's more just

0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:32.680
<v Speaker 2>as I like stage pollypocket in there. I wasn't sure

0:23:32.679 --> 0:23:33.760
<v Speaker 2>what I was going to have, so I just got

0:23:33.760 --> 0:23:37.520
<v Speaker 2>a bunch of stuff. But it's more sometimes when the

0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:40.040
<v Speaker 2>transfer works and then you have a chemical for that

0:23:40.320 --> 0:23:43.399
<v Speaker 2>three days, your brain gets tricked into believing you're going

0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:44.720
<v Speaker 2>to be a parent. So a lot of it's been

0:23:44.720 --> 0:23:48.359
<v Speaker 2>purchased during those times or Yeah, but you know, the

0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:51.159
<v Speaker 2>amount of gifts that we've gotten from family members that

0:23:51.240 --> 0:23:54.280
<v Speaker 2>bought them eight years ago is like the coolest thing

0:23:54.399 --> 0:23:57.280
<v Speaker 2>because you're like, these gifts, even though they're kind.

0:23:57.119 --> 0:24:00.480
<v Speaker 3>Of allow, people are bringing them out. Yeah, and people

0:24:00.520 --> 0:24:03.600
<v Speaker 3>held onto them like Wow, they had so much faith

0:24:03.639 --> 0:24:04.159
<v Speaker 3>and hope.

0:24:05.040 --> 0:24:07.519
<v Speaker 2>Like I think that if there's one thing that, like,

0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:13.359
<v Speaker 2>you can take almost anything from me anything, but like

0:24:13.399 --> 0:24:16.040
<v Speaker 2>you'll never be able to take my hope or creativity.

0:24:16.520 --> 0:24:19.040
<v Speaker 2>And they're the two things that have helped me survive, hope.

0:24:20.639 --> 0:24:26.999
<v Speaker 2>And I don't know how how I managed to go

0:24:27.080 --> 0:24:28.560
<v Speaker 2>through this because I look back on it now and

0:24:28.560 --> 0:24:31.399
<v Speaker 2>I feel very sad for myself, Like you, poor bitch,

0:24:31.440 --> 0:24:34.119
<v Speaker 2>what you've been through, Like, hope is loud.

0:24:35.119 --> 0:24:40.280
<v Speaker 3>You must have had a time during the process in which.

0:24:40.080 --> 0:24:42.640
<v Speaker 1>You felt that hope was lost? Or did you never?

0:24:43.520 --> 0:24:46.239
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there's a video of it. I lost my mind.

0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:50.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I actually filmed a documentary on it. It was

0:24:50.240 --> 0:24:53.760
<v Speaker 2>called Sticky Filmed Three Rounds of IVF.

0:24:54.080 --> 0:24:57.679
<v Speaker 1>Was this the doco that that didn't end up getting shown?

0:24:57.960 --> 0:24:58.720
<v Speaker 1>Was that that much?

0:24:58.919 --> 0:25:00.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? No one bought it, And.

0:25:01.720 --> 0:25:05.359
<v Speaker 2>I understand why no one bought it now, because I

0:25:05.399 --> 0:25:08.119
<v Speaker 2>mean that was filmed in twenty twenty and it didn't

0:25:08.159 --> 0:25:09.799
<v Speaker 2>work till twenty twenty five, so that would have been

0:25:09.800 --> 0:25:12.040
<v Speaker 2>a long investment for a potential zero.

0:25:12.720 --> 0:25:14.560
<v Speaker 3>Oh was the idea to follow you?

0:25:15.119 --> 0:25:18.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because they wanted to show the reality of IVF

0:25:18.280 --> 0:25:21.159
<v Speaker 2>and like the funniness, because sometimes that's funny, like you know,

0:25:21.280 --> 0:25:25.320
<v Speaker 2>once they did you know, they did the thingies up

0:25:25.320 --> 0:25:29.080
<v Speaker 2>the bomb. What do they call the repositories for painkiller?

0:25:29.800 --> 0:25:34.160
<v Speaker 2>They didn't like a scan for the eggs internally, right,

0:25:34.280 --> 0:25:36.800
<v Speaker 2>They took blood out of meat and then they go, now,

0:25:36.800 --> 0:25:38.560
<v Speaker 2>we also need to do a COVID test. I was like,

0:25:38.600 --> 0:25:41.040
<v Speaker 2>what orifice will you not go in today? And the

0:25:41.080 --> 0:25:42.440
<v Speaker 2>answer is all of them?

0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:44.000
<v Speaker 3>You know what I mean? I said, why can't Tom

0:25:44.040 --> 0:25:45.280
<v Speaker 3>do the bloody COVID test?

0:25:45.359 --> 0:25:50.200
<v Speaker 2>He his anus has not been taken a frigging painkiller?

0:25:50.320 --> 0:25:53.879
<v Speaker 2>Like come on, it's like that's always better for the

0:25:53.879 --> 0:26:00.400
<v Speaker 2>woman to do it. But yeah, like rough rough Town McGee.

0:26:00.600 --> 0:26:02.399
<v Speaker 2>But I understand why I want picked it up. But

0:26:03.399 --> 0:26:06.080
<v Speaker 2>the footage was quite cool because Amy Schumer did a

0:26:06.080 --> 0:26:08.280
<v Speaker 2>documentary about her experience being pregnant.

0:26:08.320 --> 0:26:09.320
<v Speaker 3>I think she ha hg.

0:26:09.480 --> 0:26:10.999
<v Speaker 2>She had really bad morning sickness and then she was

0:26:11.000 --> 0:26:12.960
<v Speaker 2>touring comedy, and I was like, wouldn't it be cool

0:26:13.000 --> 0:26:15.199
<v Speaker 2>to see the process of fertility?

0:26:15.600 --> 0:26:17.879
<v Speaker 3>But also I was working.

0:26:17.520 --> 0:26:20.040
<v Speaker 2>You know what I mean, Like I was like hosting

0:26:20.080 --> 0:26:24.799
<v Speaker 2>the actors for the digital section, and I was, you know,

0:26:24.960 --> 0:26:26.199
<v Speaker 2>making sponsored.

0:26:25.879 --> 0:26:26.640
<v Speaker 3>Content at the time.

0:26:26.639 --> 0:26:28.320
<v Speaker 2>I was doing a lot of panel shows, and it

0:26:28.359 --> 0:26:32.240
<v Speaker 2>was like interesting to have these two sort of diametrically

0:26:32.240 --> 0:26:35.680
<v Speaker 2>opposed things running together. And I was like, that would

0:26:35.679 --> 0:26:37.399
<v Speaker 2>make a great doco, but everyone said no to it,

0:26:37.399 --> 0:26:38.800
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, Jesus fucking.

0:26:38.600 --> 0:26:41.800
<v Speaker 3>Christ, that's right. But also that's the industry.

0:26:41.720 --> 0:26:47.240
<v Speaker 1>That was in it response to when you lost hope.

0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:50.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I want to find some meaning and maybe if

0:26:50.240 --> 0:26:53.160
<v Speaker 2>I could turn my pain into purpose it would be

0:26:54.480 --> 0:26:57.240
<v Speaker 2>somehow worth it. And I think as a content creator

0:26:57.280 --> 0:27:01.000
<v Speaker 2>and a radio announcer and a writer, to have all.

0:27:00.919 --> 0:27:04.440
<v Speaker 3>This sadness and no lesson or no.

0:27:06.159 --> 0:27:08.159
<v Speaker 2>Nothing I could gain out of it just felt so

0:27:08.359 --> 0:27:09.560
<v Speaker 2>worthless and pointless.

0:27:10.440 --> 0:27:14.040
<v Speaker 3>Girl, These these I like through.

0:27:14.159 --> 0:27:16.199
<v Speaker 2>I through a vase this day because I was like

0:27:16.240 --> 0:27:18.439
<v Speaker 2>they said, I was called up and said, no embryos, nothing,

0:27:19.800 --> 0:27:22.759
<v Speaker 2>and I was like I just gained like twenty kilos

0:27:24.119 --> 0:27:27.040
<v Speaker 2>nothing is what like this is? This is wildly unfair?

0:27:27.399 --> 0:27:29.159
<v Speaker 2>Because you normally go to the doctor and the doctor goes,

0:27:29.159 --> 0:27:30.840
<v Speaker 2>you've got a broken leg. Here's what you do about it.

0:27:30.960 --> 0:27:33.159
<v Speaker 2>You go, hey, I got broken fertility and they go,

0:27:33.600 --> 0:27:35.439
<v Speaker 2>we don't know, but we are going to use you

0:27:35.480 --> 0:27:37.439
<v Speaker 2>as a human test dummy for the next twelve to

0:27:37.520 --> 0:27:40.560
<v Speaker 2>fifteen months and we can't promise anything. And it's like

0:27:40.560 --> 0:27:43.399
<v Speaker 2>it's not their fault, but you're like it makes you

0:27:43.440 --> 0:27:50.399
<v Speaker 2>incensed within, like you're furious about like why why can't

0:27:50.399 --> 0:27:52.000
<v Speaker 2>anyone help me or promise me? And you're just looking

0:27:52.000 --> 0:27:53.840
<v Speaker 2>around going, well, someone tell me if this is going

0:27:53.919 --> 0:27:55.720
<v Speaker 2>to work in the answer is no one can.

0:27:56.159 --> 0:27:59.320
<v Speaker 3>So that's why the hope is so necessary to get through.

0:28:00.159 --> 0:28:02.199
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I had rough times where I was like,

0:28:03.280 --> 0:28:05.359
<v Speaker 2>that's why I have to take like eight months off.

0:28:05.639 --> 0:28:06.280
<v Speaker 3>Just to survive.

0:28:06.960 --> 0:28:12.280
<v Speaker 1>And what was the infertility was attributed to your INDO? Yeah,

0:28:12.399 --> 0:28:15.240
<v Speaker 1>which when were you diagnosed with that?

0:28:15.280 --> 0:28:19.879
<v Speaker 3>Like twenty twenty two? Oh that late years that's why?

0:28:20.159 --> 0:28:24.639
<v Speaker 3>Oh yes, oh what girl?

0:28:24.639 --> 0:28:25.999
<v Speaker 2>It was on the scan. So when they did the

0:28:26.000 --> 0:28:28.840
<v Speaker 2>internal that I begged for. In the internal, they were like, girl,

0:28:28.840 --> 0:28:31.679
<v Speaker 2>you've got really bad endo. How do you Your periods

0:28:31.720 --> 0:28:33.840
<v Speaker 2>must be awful? And I was like this is just

0:28:33.879 --> 0:28:36.200
<v Speaker 2>the radiographer or whatever, you know, she's doing the internal scan.

0:28:36.359 --> 0:28:38.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm not sure if there were job positions. Sorry.

0:28:38.400 --> 0:28:41.520
<v Speaker 2>And and I was like, I have ENDO and she's like, yeah,

0:28:41.560 --> 0:28:44.040
<v Speaker 2>it's on your bow, it's everywhere. I was like, she's like, yeah,

0:28:44.040 --> 0:28:45.760
<v Speaker 2>this is like stage four. She's like, I'm not allowed

0:28:45.760 --> 0:28:50.680
<v Speaker 2>to diagnose though, but you can. It's very it's bad.

0:28:50.800 --> 0:28:53.080
<v Speaker 1>How many stages are there, by the way, five?

0:28:53.880 --> 0:28:58.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, yeah, so onne's four, which means on another

0:28:58.240 --> 0:29:00.640
<v Speaker 2>it's on another part of your body.

0:29:00.680 --> 0:29:01.480
<v Speaker 3>So I've got it in my.

0:29:02.960 --> 0:29:05.680
<v Speaker 2>Uterus and bow, or you can have it on your lungs,

0:29:05.680 --> 0:29:07.160
<v Speaker 2>you can have a new kidney, you can have it.

0:29:07.280 --> 0:29:09.880
<v Speaker 2>Some people get no brain their heart, like it's crazy

0:29:09.920 --> 0:29:11.280
<v Speaker 2>because they don't quite know what it is.

0:29:11.920 --> 0:29:14.440
<v Speaker 1>Right, So it's just it's this excess tissue.

0:29:14.840 --> 0:29:17.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah, but it's inflammatory as well.

0:29:17.760 --> 0:29:25.040
<v Speaker 1>Right. So Tanya, so twenty twenty two, you have been

0:29:26.600 --> 0:29:34.200
<v Speaker 1>exploring the obstacles to your fertility for four years?

0:29:34.960 --> 0:29:35.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:29:35.800 --> 0:29:37.239
<v Speaker 1>Four years?

0:29:37.560 --> 0:29:38.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:29:38.640 --> 0:29:43.880
<v Speaker 1>Has no one, no medical professional at any time during

0:29:43.920 --> 0:29:45.160
<v Speaker 1>that for two years?

0:29:45.240 --> 0:29:45.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:29:45.440 --> 0:29:47.600
<v Speaker 2>So after I did the Jungle, after I did i'm Celab,

0:29:48.520 --> 0:29:50.560
<v Speaker 2>there was a lot of like, oh, you've got you know,

0:29:50.920 --> 0:29:53.400
<v Speaker 2>you keep traveling and you're missing cycles, but you're young

0:29:53.400 --> 0:29:54.960
<v Speaker 2>and you're healthier chicken, you know what I mean. That's

0:29:55.200 --> 0:29:58.040
<v Speaker 2>that's where that conversation came from. The first two years

0:29:58.080 --> 0:30:00.320
<v Speaker 2>we were doing with our medical assistance, and then the

0:30:00.360 --> 0:30:03.400
<v Speaker 2>second so I was just doing I saw on TikTok.

0:30:03.440 --> 0:30:06.040
<v Speaker 3>To be honest with you, but you've still seen a doctor.

0:30:06.600 --> 0:30:09.400
<v Speaker 1>You've seen a doctor and has nobody said at this

0:30:09.960 --> 0:30:14.200
<v Speaker 1>point this is a good starting place for women who

0:30:14.240 --> 0:30:18.880
<v Speaker 1>are experiencing fertility issues, is let's have a look at

0:30:18.920 --> 0:30:19.640
<v Speaker 1>what's going on.

0:30:21.080 --> 0:30:24.320
<v Speaker 3>Didn't happen, No, And that's why that's yeah, it makes

0:30:24.320 --> 0:30:24.880
<v Speaker 3>sense sense.

0:30:25.320 --> 0:30:29.400
<v Speaker 2>This was what I'm saying about advocation, Like I wish

0:30:29.400 --> 0:30:32.480
<v Speaker 2>I had a known that endo was even gonna do

0:30:32.520 --> 0:30:34.840
<v Speaker 2>this to me, Like I thought my pain was super normal.

0:30:35.480 --> 0:30:38.920
<v Speaker 2>Also like I don't know, I'm kind of like the

0:30:39.080 --> 0:30:42.400
<v Speaker 2>ENDO is annoying, but I can survive it. What I

0:30:42.400 --> 0:30:45.320
<v Speaker 2>couldn't survive was not being a parent. And I'm not

0:30:45.360 --> 0:30:48.840
<v Speaker 2>real good at taking no as an answer, Like in general,

0:30:49.040 --> 0:30:51.880
<v Speaker 2>if I want something.

0:30:51.800 --> 0:30:55.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes, but the no could have been a maybe or

0:30:55.360 --> 0:30:56.880
<v Speaker 1>even a yes earlier.

0:30:57.200 --> 0:30:58.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh yes, yeah.

0:30:58.720 --> 0:31:00.479
<v Speaker 2>I like, why didn't they find it when I was

0:31:00.520 --> 0:31:02.880
<v Speaker 2>a teenager and I had to take two days off

0:31:02.880 --> 0:31:05.440
<v Speaker 2>from school most of my you know, ten eleven twelve.

0:31:05.960 --> 0:31:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Why didn't when we first go to the GP, they

0:31:07.840 --> 0:31:09.759
<v Speaker 2>look at that, but it was, oh, you've got to

0:31:09.880 --> 0:31:13.560
<v Speaker 2>lose weight, you know. It was every excuse instead of like,

0:31:13.640 --> 0:31:15.360
<v Speaker 2>let's do an internal, and that's what I begged for.

0:31:15.400 --> 0:31:15.960
<v Speaker 3>The internal.

0:31:16.040 --> 0:31:19.479
<v Speaker 2>That's when it really all shifted. None out of surgery

0:31:19.560 --> 0:31:23.000
<v Speaker 2>and then straight to IVF. And then I went on

0:31:23.680 --> 0:31:27.759
<v Speaker 2>a menopause drug, a synthetic menopause drug that which was

0:31:27.840 --> 0:31:31.759
<v Speaker 2>really messed up. I took that flick six months and

0:31:31.800 --> 0:31:35.720
<v Speaker 2>it basically stops your menstrual flow, so it stops your

0:31:35.760 --> 0:31:39.560
<v Speaker 2>eggs from getting amongst the endometriosis and the inflammation. But

0:31:39.640 --> 0:31:42.200
<v Speaker 2>as a result you go it two synthetic menopause.

0:31:45.200 --> 0:31:46.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm not looking forward to menopause.

0:31:46.800 --> 0:31:50.759
<v Speaker 2>After like six months of it, I was like, wow, Like,

0:31:51.160 --> 0:31:53.160
<v Speaker 2>you get the hot flushes, you get really emotional, your

0:31:53.160 --> 0:31:56.120
<v Speaker 2>boobs go up and down, all of the symptoms of menopause,

0:31:56.160 --> 0:31:58.880
<v Speaker 2>but you're trying to achieve the opposite.

0:31:59.400 --> 0:32:05.600
<v Speaker 1>So through all of this, you're being funny, attempting to

0:32:05.680 --> 0:32:06.759
<v Speaker 1>be you're being funny.

0:32:06.760 --> 0:32:10.440
<v Speaker 2>I've actually achieved attempting.

0:32:10.360 --> 0:32:13.080
<v Speaker 1>Like it's amazing. And I say this as someone whose

0:32:13.480 --> 0:32:17.360
<v Speaker 1>son had leukemia and I did my job, which was

0:32:17.400 --> 0:32:20.320
<v Speaker 1>also being funny for four years and people would always go,

0:32:20.400 --> 0:32:22.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how you did it. But now I'm

0:32:22.400 --> 0:32:26.720
<v Speaker 1>saying to you, yeah, so true. But I understand because

0:32:27.200 --> 0:32:27.640
<v Speaker 1>in my.

0:32:27.720 --> 0:32:29.680
<v Speaker 3>Cause you see, yeah what you will.

0:32:30.040 --> 0:32:33.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, in my case, it was sometimes the only I

0:32:33.120 --> 0:32:35.000
<v Speaker 1>was doing breakfast radio with Hughsey.

0:32:35.280 --> 0:32:36.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's why it was breaky.

0:32:36.880 --> 0:32:40.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it was breaky. And very often I couldn't make

0:32:40.360 --> 0:32:43.560
<v Speaker 1>it to the studio. I'd have to be at the

0:32:43.560 --> 0:32:47.040
<v Speaker 1>hospital or home with our other three children for various

0:32:47.120 --> 0:32:51.680
<v Speaker 1>reasons when things were really terrible. But when I did

0:32:51.800 --> 0:32:56.239
<v Speaker 1>make it there, it would sometimes be the only time

0:32:56.520 --> 0:32:59.999
<v Speaker 1>in my day, in my week, in my month that

0:33:00.200 --> 0:33:04.240
<v Speaker 1>was not about cancer. Oh and do you find that,

0:33:06.600 --> 0:33:10.200
<v Speaker 1>did you find that blessed release?

0:33:10.360 --> 0:33:15.120
<v Speaker 3>Oh for sure, because yeah, like one thing I loved.

0:33:14.880 --> 0:33:16.720
<v Speaker 2>About doing full time radio and I'm not done full

0:33:16.720 --> 0:33:18.320
<v Speaker 2>time radio on a long time now, but god, I

0:33:18.360 --> 0:33:21.080
<v Speaker 2>loved it back in the day when it was there's.

0:33:20.880 --> 0:33:24.080
<v Speaker 1>Only eight people doing full time radio.

0:33:24.160 --> 0:33:27.840
<v Speaker 2>I know, but because you really, like, no matter what

0:33:27.880 --> 0:33:29.280
<v Speaker 2>was going on in my life, I could always go

0:33:29.320 --> 0:33:30.640
<v Speaker 2>on air and it would just disappear.

0:33:30.920 --> 0:33:32.040
<v Speaker 3>Everything else would disappear.

0:33:32.040 --> 0:33:34.840
<v Speaker 2>And you know if it's the antidote to anxiety really

0:33:34.840 --> 0:33:37.600
<v Speaker 2>because you're so present, because you have to be, you

0:33:37.720 --> 0:33:41.640
<v Speaker 2>have to be right there in the moment, listening, responding, reacting,

0:33:41.800 --> 0:33:48.560
<v Speaker 2>live and one hundred per one hundred percent content creation

0:33:49.640 --> 0:33:54.479
<v Speaker 2>and you know, doing film, television, books, books, book tours, whatever, podcasting.

0:33:55.560 --> 0:33:58.240
<v Speaker 2>It became my safe space and fund space because it

0:33:58.360 --> 0:33:59.600
<v Speaker 2>was like nothing else.

0:33:59.800 --> 0:34:03.799
<v Speaker 1>You've also had. You know, there are parallels in our

0:34:03.880 --> 0:34:06.840
<v Speaker 1>experience since as far as that goes, but you also

0:34:06.880 --> 0:34:11.440
<v Speaker 1>had it going on within your body and the flattening

0:34:11.840 --> 0:34:15.920
<v Speaker 1>that can happen with hormonal surges and treatments and whatever

0:34:16.719 --> 0:34:19.359
<v Speaker 1>is like nummy, I know.

0:34:19.440 --> 0:34:23.359
<v Speaker 2>But Kate, like, I freelance so I can choose whether

0:34:23.440 --> 0:34:26.600
<v Speaker 2>or not I do and don't work, which not all

0:34:26.640 --> 0:34:29.160
<v Speaker 2>the time because sometimes you need money to.

0:34:29.160 --> 0:34:33.919
<v Speaker 3>Live and rent to this concepts, But like I think

0:34:33.960 --> 0:34:34.279
<v Speaker 3>when you.

0:34:34.239 --> 0:34:36.160
<v Speaker 2>Work in a team, like how you know you were

0:34:36.200 --> 0:34:39.399
<v Speaker 2>with hughs, it's so hard to not come into work

0:34:39.440 --> 0:34:41.799
<v Speaker 2>because you do feel like, oh no, you know, I'm

0:34:41.960 --> 0:34:44.719
<v Speaker 2>like the team and the team and this and you

0:34:44.759 --> 0:34:47.280
<v Speaker 2>hold it differently to when you're a freelancer doing it solo.

0:34:48.000 --> 0:34:50.960
<v Speaker 2>But I mean, yeah, I had to cancel a lot.

0:34:51.200 --> 0:34:54.919
<v Speaker 2>I still I don't like to cancel a lot like

0:34:55.080 --> 0:34:58.799
<v Speaker 2>or at all, because I still have that and I

0:34:58.840 --> 0:35:00.800
<v Speaker 2>don't know if you have this still. I'd be interested

0:35:00.799 --> 0:35:03.319
<v Speaker 2>to know, because I do see a lot of myself

0:35:03.400 --> 0:35:07.399
<v Speaker 2>in you imposter syndrome, Like I'm so scared to say

0:35:07.400 --> 0:35:09.200
<v Speaker 2>no to an opportunity because of what if it never

0:35:09.200 --> 0:35:09.839
<v Speaker 2>comes up again.

0:35:10.480 --> 0:35:13.640
<v Speaker 3>So that's why I never want to cancel all a thing.

0:35:13.759 --> 0:35:18.239
<v Speaker 1>That's a freelancer thing. And I think showbies generally as well.

0:35:19.000 --> 0:35:21.160
<v Speaker 1>If you're not a NEPO baby and you haven't been

0:35:21.759 --> 0:35:26.440
<v Speaker 1>born with this clear pathway to you know, the yellow

0:35:26.440 --> 0:35:29.560
<v Speaker 1>brick road that leads to OZ, then I think you

0:35:29.600 --> 0:35:31.799
<v Speaker 1>always have a thing that I need to accept this

0:35:32.640 --> 0:35:36.399
<v Speaker 1>opportunity because this opportunity may not come again, And it's

0:35:36.440 --> 0:35:38.680
<v Speaker 1>true that certain opportunities only come once.

0:35:38.799 --> 0:35:41.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I had this amazing opportunity the other day.

0:35:41.480 --> 0:35:44.920
<v Speaker 2>I lost my mind over it. It was an animation.

0:35:46.040 --> 0:35:47.600
<v Speaker 2>Can you deal doing it? An animation?

0:35:47.680 --> 0:35:50.840
<v Speaker 3>It's like my freaking dream. And it was a villain.

0:35:50.960 --> 0:35:52.759
<v Speaker 2>It was a cartoon villain, and I was like, oh

0:35:52.759 --> 0:35:54.439
<v Speaker 2>my God, and I auditioned, I did the whole thing,

0:35:54.440 --> 0:35:56.279
<v Speaker 2>and I got it. And I've auditioned a lot and

0:35:56.320 --> 0:35:58.519
<v Speaker 2>got nothing, Like I'm not even kidding A probably audition

0:35:58.520 --> 0:36:00.040
<v Speaker 2>for one hundred and twenty things back in the day

0:36:00.920 --> 0:36:05.279
<v Speaker 2>and got literally nothing. I am actually incredibly talented at

0:36:05.360 --> 0:36:11.399
<v Speaker 2>not getting auditions, unbelievably skilled, honestly, I should write about it.

0:36:11.560 --> 0:36:14.120
<v Speaker 2>But I got this job, and I was so sick,

0:36:14.160 --> 0:36:15.399
<v Speaker 2>I was so mourning sick.

0:36:15.560 --> 0:36:18.040
<v Speaker 3>But I was like, I'm going to take everything possible

0:36:18.200 --> 0:36:19.080
<v Speaker 3>and I'm going to pretend.

0:36:19.080 --> 0:36:21.680
<v Speaker 2>And once I got behind the microphone, you know, I was,

0:36:21.840 --> 0:36:23.759
<v Speaker 2>you know, going through it, but I was like, come on,

0:36:23.880 --> 0:36:25.959
<v Speaker 2>come on, this is like and it was the best day.

0:36:25.960 --> 0:36:27.200
<v Speaker 2>It was the best day of my career. And I

0:36:27.239 --> 0:36:30.640
<v Speaker 2>got to push it away for like a bit and

0:36:31.360 --> 0:36:34.839
<v Speaker 2>get there. But like it's so different. This pain, like

0:36:34.880 --> 0:36:37.160
<v Speaker 2>not pain, but like this, you know, the difficulty of

0:36:37.200 --> 0:36:39.719
<v Speaker 2>pregnancy is nothing compared to the difficulty of infertility.

0:36:40.279 --> 0:36:41.959
<v Speaker 3>Like I prefer this.

0:36:42.000 --> 0:36:47.200
<v Speaker 1>Then, well because also one is finite and one is infinite.

0:36:47.440 --> 0:36:52.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, real infinite, And that's the hardest part of it.

0:36:52.239 --> 0:36:56.400
<v Speaker 1>And when you imagined your life, I know that you

0:36:56.480 --> 0:36:59.560
<v Speaker 1>said you and Tom, Tom was always like, we're going

0:36:59.600 --> 0:37:03.120
<v Speaker 1>to have a great life. What was it that was

0:37:03.160 --> 0:37:07.319
<v Speaker 1>so important about having a child? To you?

0:37:07.880 --> 0:37:11.879
<v Speaker 3>I feel like a part of me just wouldn't have

0:37:12.080 --> 0:37:13.400
<v Speaker 3>felt whole.

0:37:13.520 --> 0:37:16.440
<v Speaker 2>And I hate saying that because I know some people

0:37:16.640 --> 0:37:18.400
<v Speaker 2>can't have children, they don't want to have children. But

0:37:18.440 --> 0:37:21.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm speaking on my personal.

0:37:21.560 --> 0:37:24.360
<v Speaker 1>Life, of course, And can I just say as well,

0:37:25.520 --> 0:37:29.239
<v Speaker 1>there's a real tendency for us not want to not

0:37:29.279 --> 0:37:34.040
<v Speaker 1>want to hurt other people with what we have, and

0:37:34.080 --> 0:37:37.000
<v Speaker 1>I do think you need to set that aside because

0:37:37.719 --> 0:37:41.480
<v Speaker 1>not everyone can have everything. It's really hard, it's terrible.

0:37:41.520 --> 0:37:45.280
<v Speaker 1>We all have friends who have not held in their arms.

0:37:46.120 --> 0:37:47.880
<v Speaker 1>It's a little one that they wanted to hold.

0:37:48.239 --> 0:37:52.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, isn't that Blue episode? That blue episode where the

0:37:52.279 --> 0:37:55.000
<v Speaker 2>ant cast day because she can't have children? God, that

0:37:55.080 --> 0:37:57.960
<v Speaker 2>episode is so meaningful to me because I felt like

0:37:58.000 --> 0:37:59.120
<v Speaker 2>I've not been the best aunt.

0:37:59.320 --> 0:38:01.279
<v Speaker 3>When did you see it? Where were you at when

0:38:01.320 --> 0:38:01.799
<v Speaker 3>you saw it?

0:38:01.920 --> 0:38:03.920
<v Speaker 2>I think I was like around six of IVY and

0:38:04.000 --> 0:38:06.160
<v Speaker 2>I was like no, no, no, no, no, five five, and

0:38:06.200 --> 0:38:08.880
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh god, and I wasn't getting anything

0:38:09.200 --> 0:38:11.840
<v Speaker 2>as my eggs kept breaking because the quality was so bad.

0:38:12.480 --> 0:38:15.279
<v Speaker 3>And so then just yeah, I don't know.

0:38:15.320 --> 0:38:17.719
<v Speaker 2>I think I've always wanted to be a parent because

0:38:17.759 --> 0:38:19.960
<v Speaker 2>I want to know how it feels. I want to

0:38:19.960 --> 0:38:22.879
<v Speaker 2>know what life is like to be a parent. I

0:38:22.920 --> 0:38:25.040
<v Speaker 2>want to see the world through a child's eyes.

0:38:26.000 --> 0:38:26.359
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:38:26.400 --> 0:38:28.600
<v Speaker 3>I feel like I just need to see them. I

0:38:28.640 --> 0:38:31.959
<v Speaker 3>need to meet them. What do they like? What are they?

0:38:32.759 --> 0:38:36.960
<v Speaker 3>Do they like cricket? Do they like them?

0:38:37.400 --> 0:38:41.120
<v Speaker 1>For your sake that they don't like cricket?

0:38:42.000 --> 0:38:42.280
<v Speaker 4>Girl?

0:38:42.960 --> 0:38:46.839
<v Speaker 2>If on a Sunday, I can't, I am anyway, But no,

0:38:47.440 --> 0:38:49.319
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm like, I'm just fascinated to know.

0:38:52.960 --> 0:38:56.279
<v Speaker 1>After this break, Tanya gets real about the fears that

0:38:56.440 --> 0:39:04.400
<v Speaker 1>linger even as she counts down to becoming a mom.

0:39:04.960 --> 0:39:07.279
<v Speaker 1>What were you like when you were young?

0:39:07.440 --> 0:39:08.560
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, chit.

0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:11.960
<v Speaker 2>I was a little shit. I'm so afraid for myself.

0:39:12.279 --> 0:39:13.480
<v Speaker 2>I was so naughty.

0:39:13.600 --> 0:39:17.560
<v Speaker 3>I was so like opinionated. When I was three, I

0:39:17.600 --> 0:39:20.200
<v Speaker 3>had my own radio show, you know what I mean,

0:39:20.279 --> 0:39:21.800
<v Speaker 3>Like I was, you know those.

0:39:21.640 --> 0:39:23.640
<v Speaker 2>Like little It was like a Fisher and Pike call thing,

0:39:23.640 --> 0:39:25.680
<v Speaker 2>and you'd press record and play at the same time

0:39:25.680 --> 0:39:27.320
<v Speaker 2>and record your own voice. And I had a little

0:39:27.640 --> 0:39:30.640
<v Speaker 2>microphone attached to it was like white plastic with a

0:39:30.680 --> 0:39:33.320
<v Speaker 2>Fisher and Pike sort of red and blue.

0:39:33.680 --> 0:39:37.719
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right, yeah, yeah, you had that yes,

0:39:37.840 --> 0:39:39.680
<v Speaker 1>And I used to say words that rhymed with duck,

0:39:39.840 --> 0:39:42.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, just for entertainment for my parents, and they.

0:39:42.680 --> 0:39:45.920
<v Speaker 2>Were like, go away, and I was a real little

0:39:46.440 --> 0:39:53.040
<v Speaker 2>teenage nightmare, very opinionated, very creatively stuck. Radio saved my

0:39:53.200 --> 0:39:56.839
<v Speaker 2>life because I I could finally be creative in my

0:39:56.880 --> 0:39:59.839
<v Speaker 2>own terms. Really, because being an actor you wait for opportunities.

0:39:59.920 --> 0:40:00.839
<v Speaker 3>Radio Yes is just.

0:40:00.880 --> 0:40:03.879
<v Speaker 1>Do yes, and there's an immediacy.

0:40:04.120 --> 0:40:07.040
<v Speaker 3>There's an media see that really suits you. Yes and

0:40:07.080 --> 0:40:07.720
<v Speaker 3>say with social.

0:40:07.759 --> 0:40:09.759
<v Speaker 2>Social really opened up the world for me in terms

0:40:09.799 --> 0:40:13.839
<v Speaker 2>of creating, because it's I'm find creating insatiable, Like I

0:40:13.880 --> 0:40:15.999
<v Speaker 2>just want to make and create, Like I wrote five

0:40:16.080 --> 0:40:16.879
<v Speaker 2>books this year.

0:40:17.040 --> 0:40:18.080
<v Speaker 3>It's August.

0:40:20.000 --> 0:40:22.960
<v Speaker 2>I've been pregnant and done around the five years and

0:40:23.000 --> 0:40:26.759
<v Speaker 2>had an endo surgery. I just am very addicted to stories.

0:40:26.920 --> 0:40:29.920
<v Speaker 2>I love to tell stories, write stories, connect with people,

0:40:30.440 --> 0:40:33.120
<v Speaker 2>and I just I want this baby to grow up

0:40:33.480 --> 0:40:36.600
<v Speaker 2>in the I don't know magical way that I did.

0:40:36.680 --> 0:40:38.879
<v Speaker 2>You know, I had such a great childhood and my

0:40:38.960 --> 0:40:41.239
<v Speaker 2>pop was so present, you know, I want them to

0:40:41.239 --> 0:40:42.920
<v Speaker 2>be like a part of my parents' life. And my

0:40:43.560 --> 0:40:44.520
<v Speaker 2>brothers and sisters.

0:40:44.560 --> 0:40:48.960
<v Speaker 3>And you know, how is Tom's family? What's his family situation?

0:40:49.239 --> 0:40:52.560
<v Speaker 2>So he's the youngest of four and yeah, all girls,

0:40:52.759 --> 0:40:55.560
<v Speaker 2>and they have all had children, like long, long time,

0:40:55.680 --> 0:40:57.440
<v Speaker 2>Like the oldest is old.

0:40:57.840 --> 0:41:00.240
<v Speaker 3>Ah, so you've got babysitters.

0:41:00.600 --> 0:41:04.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but they live in Bloody to Woomba ah, not

0:41:05.000 --> 0:41:08.560
<v Speaker 2>into warm Yeah. Yeah, but I'm sure they'll come down.

0:41:08.560 --> 0:41:12.279
<v Speaker 2>They're all really pretty. Tom's sisters, they're all very attractive.

0:41:13.080 --> 0:41:15.879
<v Speaker 2>But they all have long, dark hair, and so do I,

0:41:15.920 --> 0:41:21.360
<v Speaker 2>which makes me slightly confused about Tom's issues with famili.

0:41:21.880 --> 0:41:25.120
<v Speaker 3>Right, Like I have long dark hair and all the

0:41:25.200 --> 0:41:28.439
<v Speaker 3>sisters like, bro, what's this about? Let's talk.

0:41:28.480 --> 0:41:31.200
<v Speaker 1>Well there there's not that many choices. No, you're right,

0:41:31.440 --> 0:41:35.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean really, it's it's not that strange.

0:41:36.160 --> 0:41:38.600
<v Speaker 3>And Ted Bundy love to a girl with long, straight hair.

0:41:38.680 --> 0:41:41.640
<v Speaker 3>So does he call you sis? Twice?

0:41:41.719 --> 0:41:46.560
<v Speaker 2>He has no Sometimes I call him mum though, because

0:41:46.840 --> 0:41:49.239
<v Speaker 2>he does so much for me. And he's a chef, right,

0:41:49.480 --> 0:41:52.519
<v Speaker 2>so his love language is foods, so he's like making

0:41:52.560 --> 0:41:53.080
<v Speaker 2>food all the time.

0:41:53.120 --> 0:41:55.600
<v Speaker 3>I'm like thanks, Mom, Like Jesus, Nope, that's not okay.

0:41:56.120 --> 0:41:59.760
<v Speaker 1>Is your plan when the baby comes? What's your work plan.

0:42:00.440 --> 0:42:02.359
<v Speaker 2>Tom's gonna be a stay at home dad, so he

0:42:02.920 --> 0:42:07.280
<v Speaker 2>we've structured it so he'll not work for twelve months

0:42:07.400 --> 0:42:13.400
<v Speaker 2>and I'll probably work within three months of uh giving birth.

0:42:13.520 --> 0:42:15.680
<v Speaker 2>But I'll do a C section. Not saying that that's easier.

0:42:15.680 --> 0:42:17.160
<v Speaker 2>I think it's actually going to be harder. I'm not

0:42:17.160 --> 0:42:19.560
<v Speaker 2>sure what's going to happen there. I've got to have

0:42:19.600 --> 0:42:21.880
<v Speaker 2>to see a midwife because I'm like, what happens after

0:42:22.480 --> 0:42:25.440
<v Speaker 2>it's out? Like, do you chat to it for a

0:42:25.440 --> 0:42:27.160
<v Speaker 2>little bit. It's obviously varied it.

0:42:27.680 --> 0:42:30.640
<v Speaker 3>Ah, if you're are you having a C section? Yeah?

0:42:30.719 --> 0:42:32.759
<v Speaker 1>Well I know about that because I've had four of them.

0:42:32.840 --> 0:42:34.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, yeah yeah, so I don't have the option

0:42:34.840 --> 0:42:36.320
<v Speaker 2>because of my endometriosis.

0:42:36.480 --> 0:42:39.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah. So they'll they give the baby to

0:42:40.040 --> 0:42:45.879
<v Speaker 1>the alleged father, yes, as I call Peter Lewis, and

0:42:46.320 --> 0:42:49.920
<v Speaker 1>then you they kind of clean you up and stitch

0:42:49.960 --> 0:42:54.320
<v Speaker 1>you up. Yeah, very important to stitch you up. Yeah,

0:42:54.360 --> 0:42:58.880
<v Speaker 1>and then sometimes it's quite sort of quick, maybe an hour,

0:42:59.120 --> 0:43:02.560
<v Speaker 1>but I had one that was a bit wonky and

0:43:02.640 --> 0:43:05.440
<v Speaker 1>that was maybe two and a half hour until I

0:43:05.480 --> 0:43:06.720
<v Speaker 1>saw Peter and the baby.

0:43:07.200 --> 0:43:09.800
<v Speaker 3>Oh, so they kind of go away with the baby.

0:43:09.520 --> 0:43:13.439
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they yes, because they're not in the operating room

0:43:13.560 --> 0:43:17.720
<v Speaker 1>or you're getting all that done, and then you see

0:43:17.759 --> 0:43:20.879
<v Speaker 1>the baby. I'll turn your hair nessy, I mean you

0:43:20.880 --> 0:43:22.720
<v Speaker 1>see the baby straight away. When you have the baby,

0:43:22.719 --> 0:43:25.400
<v Speaker 1>they put the baby on your cheest so you have

0:43:25.520 --> 0:43:29.240
<v Speaker 1>that moment, and they dangle the baby over the screen.

0:43:29.440 --> 0:43:32.600
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I love a dangle that the dangle is great.

0:43:33.719 --> 0:43:36.080
<v Speaker 1>And then Tom will probably be up because I said

0:43:36.120 --> 0:43:38.040
<v Speaker 1>I didn't want Peter seeing my innerds.

0:43:38.960 --> 0:43:41.000
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how you are about that, but I'm like,

0:43:41.120 --> 0:43:41.720
<v Speaker 3>it's already.

0:43:41.880 --> 0:43:45.319
<v Speaker 1>I never wanted him down that, you know, business end,

0:43:45.480 --> 0:43:47.359
<v Speaker 1>which was once was the party end.

0:43:51.120 --> 0:43:51.999
<v Speaker 3>Party end.

0:43:52.840 --> 0:43:55.640
<v Speaker 1>And then he'll be there like stroking your head with

0:43:55.759 --> 0:44:00.719
<v Speaker 1>a little with your hair net on, and then hopefully

0:44:00.759 --> 0:44:03.040
<v Speaker 1>one of the kind people in the operating theater will

0:44:03.040 --> 0:44:07.319
<v Speaker 1>be filming it for you, also once again omitting the

0:44:07.360 --> 0:44:10.799
<v Speaker 1>parts in which you're cut open like a whale. Yeah,

0:44:11.000 --> 0:44:12.279
<v Speaker 1>I didn't want to see any of those.

0:44:12.880 --> 0:44:13.360
<v Speaker 3>I can't.

0:44:13.880 --> 0:44:15.879
<v Speaker 1>And then they hand you the baby, and then the

0:44:15.960 --> 0:44:19.839
<v Speaker 1>baby is on your chest and then you're like, oh,

0:44:19.880 --> 0:44:22.680
<v Speaker 1>my goodness, this is who you were all the time.

0:44:23.920 --> 0:44:28.360
<v Speaker 1>How did I not know it was you? You make perfect sense,

0:44:29.320 --> 0:44:32.359
<v Speaker 1>don't Okay, that's that's going to be you.

0:44:33.719 --> 0:44:33.959
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:44:34.000 --> 0:44:36.520
<v Speaker 2>It's so bizarre because you go you see them as

0:44:36.560 --> 0:44:39.000
<v Speaker 2>it as an embryo on a screen, you know, and

0:44:39.040 --> 0:44:43.120
<v Speaker 2>they're oh gosh, they're like a pin prick right like

0:44:43.160 --> 0:44:46.040
<v Speaker 2>it's nothing, you can't see it, and then all of

0:44:46.040 --> 0:44:49.160
<v Speaker 2>a sudden it's it's got a heartbeat, but it's just

0:44:49.200 --> 0:44:51.720
<v Speaker 2>a jelly bean and then it looks like a lizard

0:44:51.799 --> 0:44:54.080
<v Speaker 2>for a couple of months, and then it sort of

0:44:54.120 --> 0:44:55.160
<v Speaker 2>looks like a person.

0:44:55.680 --> 0:44:57.360
<v Speaker 1>What size are you at now?

0:44:57.640 --> 0:45:01.839
<v Speaker 2>It's the size of there was a Cantalob night, a

0:45:01.880 --> 0:45:05.799
<v Speaker 2>Cabrey Easter bunny. I've gone with the chocolate because where

0:45:05.840 --> 0:45:07.160
<v Speaker 2>you can pick things.

0:45:07.200 --> 0:45:09.359
<v Speaker 4>Like I do fruit, I was like, nah, I'll do

0:45:09.640 --> 0:45:11.360
<v Speaker 4>I'll do the chocolate Cadbury Easter.

0:45:11.480 --> 0:45:14.759
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but what the big bundy are the bunny like,

0:45:14.799 --> 0:45:16.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, like the elegant rabbit.

0:45:16.719 --> 0:45:21.120
<v Speaker 3>No, not the elegant one, the bogan money just like

0:45:22.279 --> 0:45:25.480
<v Speaker 3>not the elegant one that's red, sure, sort of the

0:45:25.520 --> 0:45:28.640
<v Speaker 3>one down from that, like the middle side. Okay, and

0:45:28.680 --> 0:45:30.879
<v Speaker 3>you know what you're having? I do? I do?

0:45:31.200 --> 0:45:33.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? And are you keeping that under wraps?

0:45:34.120 --> 0:45:34.359
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:45:34.400 --> 0:45:35.680
<v Speaker 2>And I think a lot of it has to do

0:45:35.719 --> 0:45:37.399
<v Speaker 2>with fear. I'm like, what if I say it out

0:45:37.440 --> 0:45:38.680
<v Speaker 2>loud and then they don't come?

0:45:38.920 --> 0:45:39.319
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:45:39.440 --> 0:45:44.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like that strange thing about not not buying

0:45:44.320 --> 0:45:45.279
<v Speaker 1>baby clothes.

0:45:46.040 --> 0:45:49.120
<v Speaker 2>I've not bought anything myself yet, like I have in

0:45:49.160 --> 0:45:52.560
<v Speaker 2>the past, but not currently. We do have a pram

0:45:52.600 --> 0:45:55.479
<v Speaker 2>at home that we were sent, which was like the

0:45:55.520 --> 0:45:56.279
<v Speaker 2>wildest thing.

0:45:56.320 --> 0:45:57.560
<v Speaker 3>I was like, who sends a pram?

0:45:57.680 --> 0:46:00.680
<v Speaker 1>This is who did send a pram? A company?

0:46:00.759 --> 0:46:03.120
<v Speaker 3>A company? Oh lovely, Yeah, I'll take.

0:46:04.719 --> 0:46:04.919
<v Speaker 5>Yeat.

0:46:05.600 --> 0:46:09.560
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I was Suzuki. What can I what can I take? Yeah?

0:46:09.640 --> 0:46:16.240
<v Speaker 2>Like it's it's it's scary still, it's I'm scared most days.

0:46:16.360 --> 0:46:22.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay this to you, yes, ma'am. When you become a parent,

0:46:24.320 --> 0:46:28.720
<v Speaker 1>you also become the carrier of a parcel of fear.

0:46:29.600 --> 0:46:34.239
<v Speaker 3>Oh great, you just do. Because there are certain.

0:46:33.920 --> 0:46:37.440
<v Speaker 1>Things in the world that when it's involving you, you

0:46:37.719 --> 0:46:39.839
<v Speaker 1>feel that you have some autonomy over all, that you

0:46:39.840 --> 0:46:42.680
<v Speaker 1>can handle it or whatever. But when you have a baby,

0:46:42.799 --> 0:46:46.999
<v Speaker 1>you're putting your little ship out to see in the

0:46:47.040 --> 0:46:50.480
<v Speaker 1>stormiest of waters whatever. You don't know what that little

0:46:50.640 --> 0:46:52.080
<v Speaker 1>bows is going to encounter.

0:46:53.160 --> 0:46:55.000
<v Speaker 3>I know, I know, I see with my friends all

0:46:55.040 --> 0:46:56.000
<v Speaker 3>the time, and like, kids.

0:46:55.799 --> 0:46:57.360
<v Speaker 1>Get bullied and whatever.

0:46:58.120 --> 0:47:00.040
<v Speaker 3>Can you not go down to the school and bash them?

0:47:00.080 --> 0:47:04.319
<v Speaker 1>Like so, well I have I have done a bit

0:47:04.360 --> 0:47:05.360
<v Speaker 1>of the yeah.

0:47:05.239 --> 0:47:07.999
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but iye work.

0:47:08.600 --> 0:47:12.920
<v Speaker 1>But part of it as well is you have to

0:47:13.160 --> 0:47:15.520
<v Speaker 1>have the faith that you had that has led you

0:47:15.600 --> 0:47:19.919
<v Speaker 1>to here. Yes, and most people in the world are

0:47:19.960 --> 0:47:21.240
<v Speaker 1>deserving of that faith.

0:47:22.000 --> 0:47:22.239
<v Speaker 3>Yes.

0:47:22.400 --> 0:47:25.840
<v Speaker 1>And if there's a gift that you can give your

0:47:26.440 --> 0:47:31.000
<v Speaker 1>unborn child, it is to give them that faith and

0:47:31.080 --> 0:47:33.040
<v Speaker 1>instill them with that faith in the world.

0:47:33.680 --> 0:47:36.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, someone told me something really interesting, long story, but

0:47:36.440 --> 0:47:40.600
<v Speaker 2>I randomly played a drug dealer on Bump the Christmas movie.

0:47:40.840 --> 0:47:45.319
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah right, ahu regnant by the way, aha.

0:47:46.320 --> 0:47:51.120
<v Speaker 2>Ah, rolling around playing this drug dealer with tats on

0:47:51.160 --> 0:47:54.520
<v Speaker 2>my face like it was actually really iconic. But I

0:47:54.520 --> 0:47:57.400
<v Speaker 2>said to Claudia carbon I was like, do you have

0:47:57.400 --> 0:47:59.999
<v Speaker 2>any advice for me because you have kids? And she goes,

0:48:00.239 --> 0:48:04.800
<v Speaker 2>everything is temporary, and I was like, that is excellent.

0:48:05.080 --> 0:48:08.960
<v Speaker 3>Including the tattoos on your face. Well on one has lasted.

0:48:10.640 --> 0:48:14.960
<v Speaker 2>Did it's some serious exfoliation? But yes, she said, everything's temporary,

0:48:15.000 --> 0:48:17.640
<v Speaker 2>so like it will end. So once you become great

0:48:17.680 --> 0:48:20.200
<v Speaker 2>at being a toddler mom, goodbye. They're they're at school,

0:48:20.279 --> 0:48:22.520
<v Speaker 2>and then you you know it's temporary.

0:48:22.560 --> 0:48:23.680
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, so true.

0:48:24.239 --> 0:48:28.879
<v Speaker 1>When do you think you'll allow yourself the luxury of

0:48:30.200 --> 0:48:32.640
<v Speaker 1>leaning into it and believing that.

0:48:32.640 --> 0:48:36.800
<v Speaker 2>It's going to happen when they cut it out and dangle. Oh,

0:48:36.880 --> 0:48:38.960
<v Speaker 2>I just hope they're okay. I'm just like, are you

0:48:39.080 --> 0:48:41.120
<v Speaker 2>okay in there? Am I eating the right food?

0:48:41.759 --> 0:48:48.520
<v Speaker 4>But also I mean people, Oh, meth and her tanyah,

0:48:48.880 --> 0:48:51.719
<v Speaker 4>tell you can I tell us we're a fertility specialist

0:48:52.440 --> 0:48:55.040
<v Speaker 4>way back at the day. And I said, she goes, now,

0:48:55.120 --> 0:48:57.799
<v Speaker 4>do you smoke? I said no. She goes, great, that's

0:48:57.880 --> 0:49:00.720
<v Speaker 4>really bad for you. Do you do any recreation of drugs?

0:49:00.719 --> 0:49:02.719
<v Speaker 3>Meth? What do you any of that? I said no,

0:49:03.960 --> 0:49:06.040
<v Speaker 3>as a recreation drug meth?

0:49:06.120 --> 0:49:08.239
<v Speaker 2>And I said no, and she goes, well, to be honest,

0:49:08.279 --> 0:49:11.160
<v Speaker 2>meth isn't the worst. You better to have meth than cigarettes.

0:49:11.840 --> 0:49:12.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh.

0:49:12.480 --> 0:49:16.200
<v Speaker 3>I was like, imagine, imagine me just casually.

0:49:16.400 --> 0:49:21.279
<v Speaker 1>What So it's back to the other thing that I

0:49:21.320 --> 0:49:28.480
<v Speaker 1>think is it's a massive industry frightening women when they're pregnant. Oh, yes,

0:49:28.719 --> 0:49:31.839
<v Speaker 1>about what about everything about what you can eat and

0:49:31.880 --> 0:49:33.399
<v Speaker 1>what you blah blah and you.

0:49:33.440 --> 0:49:35.439
<v Speaker 3>Oh and there's too much information out there.

0:49:35.680 --> 0:49:38.719
<v Speaker 1>The word there is, and it's a list that they're

0:49:38.799 --> 0:49:40.000
<v Speaker 1>like always adding to.

0:49:40.880 --> 0:49:41.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:49:41.719 --> 0:49:44.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but once again, I go seven billion people in

0:49:44.600 --> 0:49:48.759
<v Speaker 1>the world, and there's a lot of soft cheeses that

0:49:48.799 --> 0:49:50.440
<v Speaker 1>have been eaten, right.

0:49:50.719 --> 0:49:54.759
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I because I've had such a crazy road, I

0:49:54.799 --> 0:49:57.319
<v Speaker 2>refuse to eat anything bad. I'm like, I will not

0:49:57.360 --> 0:49:59.640
<v Speaker 2>eat the soft jeep, I won't eat ruddy eggs. I

0:49:59.680 --> 0:50:03.200
<v Speaker 2>won't eat ham in saying that the day this kid

0:50:03.239 --> 0:50:04.719
<v Speaker 2>comes out of me, I am going to be it

0:50:05.239 --> 0:50:11.439
<v Speaker 2>hit hard with some botox, retinoal, every kind of alcohol, like.

0:50:13.160 --> 0:50:15.239
<v Speaker 1>And a drive through macas meal.

0:50:15.680 --> 0:50:19.160
<v Speaker 3>Oh god, I love McDonald's so much. I never loved

0:50:19.200 --> 0:50:19.760
<v Speaker 3>it more.

0:50:20.239 --> 0:50:22.799
<v Speaker 1>I guarantee no matter where you have the baby, there'll

0:50:22.840 --> 0:50:26.720
<v Speaker 1>be a McDonald's nearby. It's the rule of hospitals.

0:50:26.200 --> 0:50:26.600
<v Speaker 3>I hope.

0:50:26.640 --> 0:50:30.240
<v Speaker 2>So actually that is true. You know what's been really nice? Okay,

0:50:30.400 --> 0:50:32.560
<v Speaker 2>Like where I go to the pharmacy. I used to

0:50:32.600 --> 0:50:35.400
<v Speaker 2>go get all my fertility meds, right, and then I

0:50:35.480 --> 0:50:38.279
<v Speaker 2>went to get all my end demetrios surgery, you know,

0:50:38.440 --> 0:50:41.520
<v Speaker 2>my painkillers, and then I went to go get my

0:50:42.480 --> 0:50:44.719
<v Speaker 2>as all off so they know that I'm pregnant before

0:50:44.759 --> 0:50:45.439
<v Speaker 2>anybody else.

0:50:45.640 --> 0:50:49.040
<v Speaker 3>And the women in the pharmacy are just so beautiful

0:50:49.080 --> 0:50:50.799
<v Speaker 3>and they all got together and they're like, we know,

0:50:51.000 --> 0:50:52.600
<v Speaker 3>oh my god, you.

0:50:52.560 --> 0:50:56.120
<v Speaker 2>Know all the nurses that saw me for my endo

0:50:56.279 --> 0:50:58.680
<v Speaker 2>surgery and every like both of them, and you know,

0:50:58.719 --> 0:51:01.800
<v Speaker 2>it's so lovely how how much love I've been shown

0:51:02.120 --> 0:51:05.600
<v Speaker 2>and how much support I've been shown, And I feel

0:51:07.200 --> 0:51:10.880
<v Speaker 2>so grateful for people giving a shit about this story,

0:51:11.360 --> 0:51:14.359
<v Speaker 2>to be honest, Like when I shared it, I thought

0:51:14.400 --> 0:51:16.279
<v Speaker 2>it was going to be like twenty minutes later I

0:51:16.320 --> 0:51:17.440
<v Speaker 2>was going to have a baby. I thought i'd have

0:51:17.440 --> 0:51:19.680
<v Speaker 2>a five year old by now. The whole story just

0:51:20.160 --> 0:51:22.959
<v Speaker 2>kind of I really didn't see it lasting this long.

0:51:23.520 --> 0:51:27.320
<v Speaker 3>But you know why, because you have invited people in

0:51:28.640 --> 0:51:33.960
<v Speaker 3>and it resonates with you know, it's a universal desire. True.

0:51:34.200 --> 0:51:40.600
<v Speaker 1>Without the desire to have children, that's the end of us.

0:51:40.640 --> 0:51:44.839
<v Speaker 1>And it's particularly unusual for someone who has a profile

0:51:46.080 --> 0:51:51.360
<v Speaker 1>to share so openly, yeah, their pain.

0:51:53.040 --> 0:51:54.919
<v Speaker 3>And it's also because.

0:51:54.600 --> 0:51:58.280
<v Speaker 1>You hold a place of affection in people's hearts because

0:51:58.279 --> 0:51:59.880
<v Speaker 1>of your comedic work.

0:52:01.560 --> 0:52:06.800
<v Speaker 2>Maybe people are just so lovely And I'm constantly shocked

0:52:06.799 --> 0:52:09.759
<v Speaker 2>at how many people care, like even just like we

0:52:09.840 --> 0:52:12.160
<v Speaker 2>go for walks and people stop us on walks. I

0:52:12.160 --> 0:52:14.520
<v Speaker 2>guess the thing is, sometimes I'm very confused as to

0:52:14.560 --> 0:52:16.799
<v Speaker 2>how many people know who I am, Kate, because I

0:52:16.840 --> 0:52:19.279
<v Speaker 2>just like make social media contact by myself. You do

0:52:19.400 --> 0:52:21.839
<v Speaker 2>radio by yourself something, you know, it's very like you know,

0:52:21.880 --> 0:52:23.120
<v Speaker 2>and then all of a sudden people know who you

0:52:23.120 --> 0:52:26.000
<v Speaker 2>are only like oh, okay, whoops, sorry I forget.

0:52:26.279 --> 0:52:30.760
<v Speaker 1>And why are you surprised that people are so loving

0:52:30.840 --> 0:52:31.520
<v Speaker 1>towards you?

0:52:32.279 --> 0:52:34.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I just didn't think people would kind of care

0:52:34.480 --> 0:52:36.640
<v Speaker 2>like for people like thumbs up, move on. You know,

0:52:37.000 --> 0:52:39.440
<v Speaker 2>it's so lovely that people hold space for you. In

0:52:39.480 --> 0:52:42.520
<v Speaker 2>a world where time is a commodity, caring is like

0:52:42.560 --> 0:52:44.959
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean, Caring is hard for when

0:52:45.360 --> 0:52:47.280
<v Speaker 2>you know we've got no time and space for anyone

0:52:47.400 --> 0:52:48.799
<v Speaker 2>or anything other than ourselves.

0:52:48.840 --> 0:52:50.880
<v Speaker 3>Often, you know, because life is hard and stressful, and

0:52:50.920 --> 0:52:51.480
<v Speaker 3>so the fact that.

0:52:51.440 --> 0:52:54.120
<v Speaker 2>Someone could remember my name and remember that I went

0:52:54.160 --> 0:52:57.120
<v Speaker 2>through a struggle then can remember that I got.

0:52:56.920 --> 0:52:59.160
<v Speaker 3>It to work is kind of amazing in this day

0:52:59.160 --> 0:53:00.239
<v Speaker 3>and age. It really is.

0:53:00.400 --> 0:53:04.200
<v Speaker 1>But also because life is hard and stressful, that's why

0:53:04.600 --> 0:53:08.239
<v Speaker 1>you need a baby. So true, that is just the

0:53:09.320 --> 0:53:12.399
<v Speaker 1>that is the It's like looking into a fire.

0:53:12.719 --> 0:53:14.960
<v Speaker 3>Do you miss your babies? Like, do you miss your

0:53:15.040 --> 0:53:15.800
<v Speaker 3>kids as babies?

0:53:16.840 --> 0:53:22.520
<v Speaker 1>Ah, I'm not very nostalgic, and I don't know if

0:53:23.560 --> 0:53:29.399
<v Speaker 1>that is because one of my children really died, So

0:53:29.520 --> 0:53:32.839
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if it's because of that that I'm

0:53:32.880 --> 0:53:39.359
<v Speaker 1>not particularly But I was outside of primary school the

0:53:39.400 --> 0:53:42.759
<v Speaker 1>other day and I went, oh, do I miss that

0:53:44.000 --> 0:53:49.200
<v Speaker 1>aspects of it? I do, I think, But also I'm

0:53:49.440 --> 0:53:51.480
<v Speaker 1>really glad I don't have to do school pickup?

0:53:51.560 --> 0:53:53.280
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, But I don't.

0:53:53.120 --> 0:53:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Want to put you off.

0:53:54.520 --> 0:53:56.680
<v Speaker 3>School's great schools.

0:53:58.000 --> 0:54:01.040
<v Speaker 1>It's not at all like you're going back to school. Girl.

0:54:01.320 --> 0:54:03.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm so bad at mouth and stuff like that. I

0:54:03.480 --> 0:54:05.719
<v Speaker 2>don't know what I'm going to do in saying that.

0:54:05.759 --> 0:54:08.040
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm going to go really narcissistic foot bok

0:54:08.080 --> 0:54:10.239
<v Speaker 2>quick because I've written kids book. There's no way my

0:54:10.320 --> 0:54:13.239
<v Speaker 2>kid is not going as Pink Santa. I am going

0:54:13.320 --> 0:54:15.799
<v Speaker 2>to use my child. There's a little bit of marketing there,

0:54:15.920 --> 0:54:19.000
<v Speaker 2>got pink Easter coming out. Guess what pink Easter.

0:54:19.360 --> 0:54:23.120
<v Speaker 1>Well, you know, the child is an extension of you

0:54:23.320 --> 0:54:26.600
<v Speaker 1>and an extension of Tom, so the child is going

0:54:26.640 --> 0:54:30.000
<v Speaker 1>to be more toterrating.

0:54:30.120 --> 0:54:32.359
<v Speaker 3>Tom's such a lovely man. God, I hope they more

0:54:32.680 --> 0:54:33.440
<v Speaker 3>more Tom than me.

0:54:33.920 --> 0:54:36.600
<v Speaker 1>Well, how is he, by the way, when you told him?

0:54:37.279 --> 0:54:39.479
<v Speaker 1>And when did you tell him? Was he with you?

0:54:39.799 --> 0:54:40.039
<v Speaker 3>Well?

0:54:40.120 --> 0:54:44.719
<v Speaker 2>Am I bled on Easter? And so I was like

0:54:44.880 --> 0:54:47.120
<v Speaker 2>that was four days or five days after the transfers.

0:54:47.160 --> 0:54:49.560
<v Speaker 2>While I was like, it's chemical, it's not worked again.

0:54:50.560 --> 0:54:54.680
<v Speaker 2>And then we called the IVF clinic went in for

0:54:54.759 --> 0:54:58.359
<v Speaker 2>bloods HGG levels rising and they were like, no, it's

0:54:58.400 --> 0:55:02.680
<v Speaker 2>actually very positive. Your hCG is almost twins. It's really high.

0:55:02.680 --> 0:55:06.040
<v Speaker 2>So the blood is nothing, don't worry about it. And

0:55:06.080 --> 0:55:08.919
<v Speaker 2>so I think people do expect this moment where you

0:55:08.960 --> 0:55:13.279
<v Speaker 2>tell them, but it's more like like a clock, it's

0:55:13.360 --> 0:55:16.319
<v Speaker 2>just slowly ticking and say, with my mom and my

0:55:16.680 --> 0:55:19.959
<v Speaker 2>siblings and stuff like that, there's no moment because they

0:55:20.000 --> 0:55:20.480
<v Speaker 2>were there.

0:55:20.920 --> 0:55:21.960
<v Speaker 3>They were there when I planned.

0:55:22.480 --> 0:55:24.400
<v Speaker 2>And so I was like, okay, so it's positive, but

0:55:24.440 --> 0:55:26.719
<v Speaker 2>we're not sure and no one, No one goes who

0:55:26.920 --> 0:55:29.520
<v Speaker 2>because it's six seven days.

0:55:29.279 --> 0:55:32.480
<v Speaker 3>So it is. It is definitely different to a traditional pregnancy.

0:55:32.480 --> 0:55:35.280
<v Speaker 2>And when I see people do these big announcement videos,

0:55:35.480 --> 0:55:37.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, I'm so kind of jealous in away,

0:55:37.480 --> 0:55:40.160
<v Speaker 2>but I would never take back my experience because what

0:55:40.239 --> 0:55:43.640
<v Speaker 2>I have is so great, But it's definitely different to

0:55:44.560 --> 0:55:47.279
<v Speaker 2>that reveal or like when he comes home with a

0:55:47.279 --> 0:55:50.399
<v Speaker 2>pregnancy test it's positive, Like I more tested. So once

0:55:50.480 --> 0:55:53.120
<v Speaker 2>I found out, I probably went through like seventy pregnancy

0:55:53.120 --> 0:55:56.839
<v Speaker 2>tests because I would test three or four and if

0:55:56.840 --> 0:56:01.239
<v Speaker 2>the line got lighter, i'd have a yeah. Like so

0:56:01.320 --> 0:56:04.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm just like, please stay, please stay with me, and

0:56:05.120 --> 0:56:08.960
<v Speaker 2>they come to me sometimes in a like acupuncture and

0:56:08.960 --> 0:56:11.040
<v Speaker 2>stuff like that. I don't have to do that much anymore,

0:56:11.560 --> 0:56:14.200
<v Speaker 2>but I still do it for stress relief, but I'm asking,

0:56:14.239 --> 0:56:17.640
<v Speaker 2>what is your name? What is your name? Did you

0:56:18.080 --> 0:56:20.520
<v Speaker 2>know your kid's names? Did they present them to you?

0:56:20.719 --> 0:56:20.799
<v Speaker 1>Or?

0:56:21.680 --> 0:56:24.560
<v Speaker 3>I think by number three we were having trouble.

0:56:25.320 --> 0:56:29.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and because they came quite rapidly, Yeah, it was

0:56:29.239 --> 0:56:31.279
<v Speaker 1>the same thing, I think. And because I had my

0:56:31.320 --> 0:56:35.239
<v Speaker 1>babies quite late, and you know, you hear so much

0:56:35.279 --> 0:56:40.520
<v Speaker 1>about declining fertility or whatever, we just weren't prepared that

0:56:40.560 --> 0:56:44.960
<v Speaker 1>when you open the damn wall, what can be waiting

0:56:45.000 --> 0:56:49.279
<v Speaker 1>behind there. So by number three we had trouble. But

0:56:49.560 --> 0:56:54.959
<v Speaker 1>Lewis Lewis was self evident. Yes, fierce Sunday Lewis. We

0:56:55.080 --> 0:56:58.759
<v Speaker 1>knew because Sunday would have been Lewis's name, if Sunday was.

0:56:58.920 --> 0:57:03.120
<v Speaker 1>If Lewis was a girl, then we had Artie Honore Lewis,

0:57:03.160 --> 0:57:08.600
<v Speaker 1>who's number three, and then Yanni after my dad. Yeah, yeah,

0:57:08.640 --> 0:57:11.400
<v Speaker 1>are you doing family names or well?

0:57:11.600 --> 0:57:14.640
<v Speaker 2>See, I quite like I was saying this to your fair.

0:57:14.759 --> 0:57:16.840
<v Speaker 2>I quite like Hennessy, which is my last name as

0:57:16.840 --> 0:57:17.520
<v Speaker 2>a fair, which is.

0:57:17.440 --> 0:57:18.680
<v Speaker 1>A beautiful name. Girl?

0:57:18.800 --> 0:57:19.680
<v Speaker 3>Is it not? Nasa?

0:57:19.760 --> 0:57:22.960
<v Speaker 2>So like, I feel like I'm so up why I

0:57:22.960 --> 0:57:25.640
<v Speaker 2>feel like people be like there's a Zilian.

0:57:25.440 --> 0:57:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Name, but but you know what, people smile?

0:57:28.200 --> 0:57:28.560
<v Speaker 5>True?

0:57:29.200 --> 0:57:34.360
<v Speaker 1>Like really, although would it be it wouldn't be Hennessy Hennessy, No, but.

0:57:34.320 --> 0:57:37.720
<v Speaker 3>That would be kind of fierce. Very Lewis Lewis, Yeah,

0:57:37.880 --> 0:57:39.200
<v Speaker 3>very Lewis Lewis.

0:57:39.560 --> 0:57:40.960
<v Speaker 1>I love it so good.

0:57:40.760 --> 0:57:46.640
<v Speaker 3>You named her him? Just like, is that a non

0:57:46.680 --> 0:57:49.040
<v Speaker 3>binary baby? It's not.

0:57:49.160 --> 0:57:51.280
<v Speaker 2>It's just an easier way for me to communicate it

0:57:51.520 --> 0:57:53.959
<v Speaker 2>because I want to say the gender is so bad,

0:57:54.000 --> 0:57:55.840
<v Speaker 2>but I don't want to muck myself up.

0:57:56.320 --> 0:57:59.400
<v Speaker 1>No, don't, and I won't make you. What have you

0:57:59.520 --> 0:58:03.840
<v Speaker 1>learnt about yourself? Do you think that's surprised you?

0:58:04.680 --> 0:58:07.200
<v Speaker 2>I've always thought I was resilient, and now I know

0:58:07.320 --> 0:58:11.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm resilient. I think that I've been in parenting boot

0:58:11.680 --> 0:58:15.440
<v Speaker 2>camp since I decided that I, well, we decided we

0:58:15.440 --> 0:58:17.080
<v Speaker 2>want to have kids, which was seven years ago. So

0:58:17.120 --> 0:58:19.880
<v Speaker 2>I feel like, if there's one thing I've learned, it's patience,

0:58:20.600 --> 0:58:24.280
<v Speaker 2>which I've always struggled with as somebody who does content

0:58:24.400 --> 0:58:28.360
<v Speaker 2>and creation immediate with immediacy, So patience is something I

0:58:28.400 --> 0:58:31.999
<v Speaker 2>really struggle with, which is why I have not done

0:58:32.160 --> 0:58:35.320
<v Speaker 2>film or television because it's very long and it's very annoying.

0:58:36.360 --> 0:58:44.479
<v Speaker 2>But I've learned patience. I've also learned more better boundaries.

0:58:45.440 --> 0:58:47.040
<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you the second I got pregnant, I feel

0:58:47.040 --> 0:58:49.080
<v Speaker 2>like my boundaries and people pleasing.

0:58:48.760 --> 0:58:51.919
<v Speaker 3>Shifted hard how well.

0:58:51.960 --> 0:58:54.240
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I no longer can just like listen

0:58:54.280 --> 0:58:56.760
<v Speaker 2>to people say things that aren't true and just not

0:58:56.840 --> 0:59:00.360
<v Speaker 2>along because it's easier. I was like, no, I got

0:59:00.360 --> 0:59:02.080
<v Speaker 2>to stand up for myself because I want my kids

0:59:02.120 --> 0:59:05.040
<v Speaker 2>to stand up for themselves and not just keep over

0:59:05.080 --> 0:59:08.800
<v Speaker 2>to people and people pleasing and just agreeing to be you.

0:59:08.760 --> 0:59:09.240
<v Speaker 3>Know what I mean.

0:59:10.760 --> 0:59:12.480
<v Speaker 2>And I think the other thing I learned is that

0:59:14.640 --> 0:59:18.200
<v Speaker 2>even before you become a parent, you need a community,

0:59:18.880 --> 0:59:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Like it takes a village to raise a mother. M

0:59:23.160 --> 0:59:24.640
<v Speaker 2>It takes a village to raise a child, but it

0:59:24.640 --> 0:59:26.760
<v Speaker 2>takes a village to raise a mom. And I feel

0:59:26.760 --> 0:59:29.919
<v Speaker 2>like I've grown up a lot. Sometimes I didn't want

0:59:29.920 --> 0:59:31.040
<v Speaker 2>to grow up, but I did.

0:59:31.760 --> 0:59:32.280
<v Speaker 3>I wish it.

0:59:32.760 --> 0:59:34.520
<v Speaker 2>I wish I didn't have to go through this experience.

0:59:34.560 --> 0:59:36.720
<v Speaker 2>I wish most people didn't have to go through this.

0:59:36.800 --> 0:59:40.280
<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's a very lonely agony.

0:59:41.920 --> 0:59:43.920
<v Speaker 2>It's also really annoying just having to go to the

0:59:44.000 --> 0:59:46.200
<v Speaker 2>IVF clinically six days a week.

0:59:47.600 --> 0:59:48.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:59:48.320 --> 0:59:50.400
<v Speaker 1>And you know, the faith that you were talking about before,

0:59:51.240 --> 0:59:54.520
<v Speaker 1>at the very least you would think that you can

0:59:54.560 --> 0:59:59.160
<v Speaker 1>have faith in your body and you don't have that. Yeah,

0:59:59.200 --> 1:00:01.040
<v Speaker 1>And that's a terrible thing.

1:00:02.280 --> 1:00:04.800
<v Speaker 2>And just nothing is promised, you know, nothing is as

1:00:04.880 --> 1:00:07.560
<v Speaker 2>you grow up. First time I had sex, Kate, I

1:00:07.640 --> 1:00:09.720
<v Speaker 2>made my boyfriend at the time wear two condoms because

1:00:10.000 --> 1:00:13.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I will not be a teen mother. Girls,

1:00:13.640 --> 1:00:15.959
<v Speaker 2>that didn't matter. I would not have been a teen mother.

1:00:16.040 --> 1:00:19.760
<v Speaker 2>I could have slept around a lot. But you know,

1:00:19.800 --> 1:00:22.320
<v Speaker 2>you don't know that. And you but the narrative we're

1:00:22.360 --> 1:00:25.480
<v Speaker 2>sold is don't have sex because you'll get pregnant, And

1:00:25.520 --> 1:00:27.040
<v Speaker 2>so you go, I will have children.

1:00:27.200 --> 1:00:28.400
<v Speaker 3>I will have children.

1:00:29.520 --> 1:00:32.200
<v Speaker 2>So then it's very shocking to find out that you

1:00:32.520 --> 1:00:36.240
<v Speaker 2>potentially won't because you think it's going to be your choice.

1:00:36.960 --> 1:00:40.040
<v Speaker 1>But guess what I know say it.

1:00:40.800 --> 1:00:44.760
<v Speaker 3>I will be having a baby. Christmas will be a

1:00:44.840 --> 1:00:47.480
<v Speaker 3>rough money Christmas. I hope it comes. I hope it

1:00:47.520 --> 1:00:49.040
<v Speaker 3>comes so I can have.

1:00:49.080 --> 1:00:52.280
<v Speaker 1>Had Oh my god, you're all twisted up like a pretzel,

1:00:52.360 --> 1:00:55.439
<v Speaker 1>and yet you're as loose as a goose girl.

1:00:55.480 --> 1:00:58.440
<v Speaker 3>You are exactly as you should be. Do you reckon?

1:00:58.840 --> 1:01:04.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah, this is it. Welcome to not knowing anything.

1:01:05.160 --> 1:01:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean I've never known anything, so now I feel

1:01:07.680 --> 1:01:08.920
<v Speaker 2>very very comfortable.

1:01:09.080 --> 1:01:13.760
<v Speaker 1>Hey, what will you whisper to the baby when you

1:01:13.800 --> 1:01:14.680
<v Speaker 1>meet the baby?

1:01:15.040 --> 1:01:15.720
<v Speaker 3>I have a song?

1:01:16.360 --> 1:01:18.200
<v Speaker 1>What's the song? Do you know?

1:01:18.360 --> 1:01:19.760
<v Speaker 3>Smile by Michael Jackson.

1:01:21.560 --> 1:01:26.080
<v Speaker 5>Your heart is breaking, Yes, smile even though it's breaking. Oh,

1:01:28.200 --> 1:01:32.360
<v Speaker 5>when there's a tune that there's a time you must

1:01:32.480 --> 1:01:33.400
<v Speaker 5>keep on trying.

1:01:34.640 --> 1:01:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Smile. Ye.

1:01:37.840 --> 1:01:38.880
<v Speaker 3>Beautiful of that song.

1:01:39.280 --> 1:01:44.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's a beautiful song. You've made me crying. You're

1:01:44.960 --> 1:01:49.680
<v Speaker 1>like you're desiccated, like ain't nothing coming out of here.

1:01:52.520 --> 1:01:56.120
<v Speaker 3>I feel bad for you.

1:01:56.280 --> 1:01:59.640
<v Speaker 2>I would say, I would say I've waited my whole

1:01:59.640 --> 1:02:02.640
<v Speaker 2>life to me because I have. I really have waited

1:02:02.680 --> 1:02:08.240
<v Speaker 2>my whole life to meet to meet them, and I

1:02:08.240 --> 1:02:12.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm actually like counting the weeks because people count, you know, like,

1:02:12.520 --> 1:02:16.280
<v Speaker 2>oh I'm twenty two weeks. I'm nineteen weeks till I

1:02:16.280 --> 1:02:16.959
<v Speaker 2>can meet them.

1:02:17.280 --> 1:02:21.080
<v Speaker 3>I do the other way because I've already waited so long.

1:02:21.400 --> 1:02:25.880
<v Speaker 2>This is my eighth year, and I'm like yeah, because

1:02:25.880 --> 1:02:28.800
<v Speaker 2>it's I'm like, hurry up, I want to meet you.

1:02:29.280 --> 1:02:30.520
<v Speaker 3>I want to take you to Disney.

1:02:30.560 --> 1:02:37.600
<v Speaker 1>Wow, Tanya Hennessy, you will be in motherhood as you

1:02:37.680 --> 1:02:42.080
<v Speaker 1>are in life, maniac, a maniac full of joy.

1:02:43.440 --> 1:02:45.440
<v Speaker 3>It might be a bit stressed next time you see me.

1:02:45.760 --> 1:02:47.440
<v Speaker 3>I might look older and grayer.

1:02:47.600 --> 1:02:51.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't think so. I think it's having kids keeps

1:02:51.560 --> 1:02:58.240
<v Speaker 1>you young until it kills you. Oh great, positive parenting,

1:02:58.760 --> 1:03:02.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah wow, I think I don't know about that. To

1:03:02.440 --> 1:03:05.959
<v Speaker 1>be honest, I'm a fan of Oh me too.

1:03:06.960 --> 1:03:09.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm also going to make my kids watch care Bears,

1:03:09.000 --> 1:03:11.840
<v Speaker 2>well kid, like, I'm gonna make them watch eighties stuff.

1:03:12.160 --> 1:03:17.360
<v Speaker 2>You will be watching the Land before time. Why wouldn't they, Well,

1:03:17.480 --> 1:03:19.160
<v Speaker 2>I've got news shows.

1:03:19.200 --> 1:03:20.560
<v Speaker 1>Not if you cut off the Wi Fi?

1:03:21.360 --> 1:03:23.280
<v Speaker 3>So true, I'm like, oh, so weird.

1:03:23.320 --> 1:03:27.720
<v Speaker 2>The Wi Fi is down all you can watch is Moms, tiktoks.

1:03:29.360 --> 1:03:29.720
<v Speaker 5>Oh.

1:03:29.760 --> 1:03:31.040
<v Speaker 1>I wish you every.

1:03:30.920 --> 1:03:32.880
<v Speaker 3>Joy, Thank you so much.

1:03:32.920 --> 1:03:38.919
<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm hoping that my my my tears come, if

1:03:38.920 --> 1:03:41.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm honest with you, because it feels like I'm a

1:03:41.520 --> 1:03:43.120
<v Speaker 2>bit blocked and it hurts.

1:03:43.600 --> 1:03:45.040
<v Speaker 3>It hurts to not be able to cry.

1:03:46.400 --> 1:03:46.919
<v Speaker 1>Don't come.

1:03:47.280 --> 1:03:50.440
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I put my eyes up to the hair conditioning

1:03:50.920 --> 1:03:52.360
<v Speaker 2>just to try and make myself cry.

1:03:53.240 --> 1:03:54.040
<v Speaker 3>It doesn't work.

1:03:54.600 --> 1:03:56.680
<v Speaker 1>What about when you're watching emotional things?

1:03:58.000 --> 1:04:00.720
<v Speaker 3>No, I can't cry in therapy. You can't cry anywhere. Really,

1:04:00.920 --> 1:04:04.120
<v Speaker 3>everyone found out the gender couldn't cry really.

1:04:05.280 --> 1:04:07.520
<v Speaker 2>Okay, And I'm very connected to my film, so I

1:04:07.520 --> 1:04:10.919
<v Speaker 2>don't know what it's a self protection on another level.

1:04:11.040 --> 1:04:14.560
<v Speaker 3>Yes, yeah, good, But Liz, I'm telling you that, Liz,

1:04:14.560 --> 1:04:18.080
<v Speaker 3>I'm telling you that. It's like I'm aware that it's happening.

1:04:18.240 --> 1:04:20.400
<v Speaker 3>I'm not just some stoic asshole. You are a bit

1:04:20.440 --> 1:04:24.919
<v Speaker 3>stoic though, Oh you reckon? Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. I

1:04:24.960 --> 1:04:28.600
<v Speaker 3>love the stoics. Do you not normally stoic? It's just

1:04:28.600 --> 1:04:31.120
<v Speaker 3>respects them. It's this point, but you look at what

1:04:31.160 --> 1:04:32.480
<v Speaker 3>you've done for eight years.

1:04:32.600 --> 1:04:33.400
<v Speaker 1>You're a stoic.

1:04:34.280 --> 1:04:36.120
<v Speaker 3>Do you driven that you are as well in a way.

1:04:36.360 --> 1:04:38.160
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I definitely am the Dutch.

1:04:38.720 --> 1:04:42.280
<v Speaker 2>You know, you're so grounded. You're way more grounded than

1:04:42.320 --> 1:04:43.240
<v Speaker 2>I have ever been.

1:04:43.440 --> 1:04:45.200
<v Speaker 3>It's my heavy wooden shoes.

1:04:45.440 --> 1:04:55.160
<v Speaker 1>Sorry. In a strange what's that expression? Synergy? You met Breathe,

1:04:55.240 --> 1:04:59.960
<v Speaker 1>the producer of No Filter, on a Disney cruise earlier

1:05:00.000 --> 1:05:06.560
<v Speaker 1>this year. Yeah, and she had taken her niece and nephew.

1:05:07.320 --> 1:05:10.880
<v Speaker 3>I think, oh my god, they're so cute. The nephew.

1:05:11.600 --> 1:05:13.040
<v Speaker 2>The reason that we spoke to each other because the

1:05:13.080 --> 1:05:15.999
<v Speaker 2>nephew was being sousey and like he was like, guess

1:05:16.040 --> 1:05:17.840
<v Speaker 2>who I saw the lily And I was like, oh

1:05:17.840 --> 1:05:18.320
<v Speaker 2>my god.

1:05:18.120 --> 1:05:20.560
<v Speaker 1>This kid is cool. Yeah, you know, like a sassy kid.

1:05:20.800 --> 1:05:22.600
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, is this boy yours?

1:05:22.600 --> 1:05:24.520
<v Speaker 2>And she was like, no, it's my nephew. And I

1:05:24.600 --> 1:05:27.520
<v Speaker 2>was like, this kid. I love their energy. I love

1:05:27.600 --> 1:05:28.960
<v Speaker 2>kids like that, you know, who just walk up to

1:05:29.000 --> 1:05:30.640
<v Speaker 2>a stranger and tell them some random fact.

1:05:31.000 --> 1:05:33.400
<v Speaker 1>But at that point, so that was January, You're on

1:05:33.480 --> 1:05:35.000
<v Speaker 1>a Disney cruise which is.

1:05:35.800 --> 1:05:39.360
<v Speaker 3>Full kids kids. Yeah, and he's five days earlier.

1:05:39.440 --> 1:05:42.720
<v Speaker 2>I just had an endo surgery, so I was in

1:05:43.000 --> 1:05:45.680
<v Speaker 2>a bit of pain and on en don't But the

1:05:45.760 --> 1:05:49.800
<v Speaker 2>thing is everywhere is full of children, and it's hard

1:05:49.920 --> 1:05:51.840
<v Speaker 2>because you're like, I wish I could have this, and

1:05:51.880 --> 1:05:54.200
<v Speaker 2>I want this, And you see all the parents at

1:05:54.200 --> 1:05:56.439
<v Speaker 2>the pool and like looking up them and they're getting

1:05:56.440 --> 1:05:58.840
<v Speaker 2>them ice cream and like someone like Disney Cruise, it's

1:05:58.880 --> 1:06:01.200
<v Speaker 2>like these kids are having the best time. It's not

1:06:01.240 --> 1:06:03.760
<v Speaker 2>just a fun time, it's like the ultimate life. And

1:06:03.760 --> 1:06:05.520
<v Speaker 2>you go, that's why I want to give my kid

1:06:05.560 --> 1:06:09.479
<v Speaker 2>this so bad. So an experience like that makes me well.

1:06:09.520 --> 1:06:12.600
<v Speaker 2>It made me like, I'm going to take these bloody

1:06:12.600 --> 1:06:15.600
<v Speaker 2>intralipids and I'm going to time everything perfect perfectly to

1:06:15.600 --> 1:06:18.760
<v Speaker 2>make sure that this one stuck as much.

1:06:18.600 --> 1:06:22.080
<v Speaker 3>As I could. That was did you have a sense that,

1:06:22.440 --> 1:06:24.720
<v Speaker 3>yes that he did? For sure?

1:06:24.920 --> 1:06:28.439
<v Speaker 2>Yes, done everything right. I took off all this time.

1:06:28.480 --> 1:06:32.280
<v Speaker 2>I lost fifty three kilos so and that was an

1:06:32.320 --> 1:06:35.240
<v Speaker 2>inflammatory thing on top of the end.

1:06:35.120 --> 1:06:39.160
<v Speaker 1>Of what a response. Was that a response to the

1:06:39.280 --> 1:06:44.040
<v Speaker 1>drugs or yes, that's a lot, that's a person three killers?

1:06:44.200 --> 1:06:46.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah, I look, you lost a person and gained

1:06:46.840 --> 1:06:48.400
<v Speaker 3>a person. Oh my god, I did too.

1:06:50.520 --> 1:06:53.560
<v Speaker 2>So I timed the endometrious the surgery and I was like, buggert,

1:06:53.560 --> 1:06:55.760
<v Speaker 2>I will be going on a Disney cruise, and then

1:06:55.960 --> 1:07:00.320
<v Speaker 2>I timed we embryo banked at the end of last year,

1:07:00.440 --> 1:07:03.240
<v Speaker 2>so it would be a fresh transfer a frozen transfer,

1:07:03.440 --> 1:07:04.520
<v Speaker 2>which is a bout for endemetri.

1:07:05.000 --> 1:07:05.680
<v Speaker 3>So I did a lot of.

1:07:05.640 --> 1:07:08.920
<v Speaker 2>Research and then I did the BONDI or the protocol

1:07:08.960 --> 1:07:10.640
<v Speaker 2>on top of it. So it was like I just

1:07:10.800 --> 1:07:14.720
<v Speaker 2>was like, this will work. And I changed my mindset.

1:07:14.760 --> 1:07:16.240
<v Speaker 2>And I'm not saying that that works for everybody.

1:07:16.440 --> 1:07:17.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah my mind right.

1:07:17.640 --> 1:07:19.800
<v Speaker 2>I had to go, how's it going to look when

1:07:19.840 --> 1:07:22.200
<v Speaker 2>I put them to bed? How's it going to look

1:07:22.520 --> 1:07:24.959
<v Speaker 2>when they're you know, when I'm holding them? How am

1:07:24.960 --> 1:07:27.440
<v Speaker 2>I going to swaddle them? How am I going to

1:07:28.360 --> 1:07:30.480
<v Speaker 2>breast or bottle feed? And when I really started to

1:07:30.560 --> 1:07:34.240
<v Speaker 2>imagine it, that's what I think changed for me.

1:07:34.600 --> 1:07:36.439
<v Speaker 1>How is it going to look when you put them

1:07:36.440 --> 1:07:36.800
<v Speaker 1>to bed?

1:07:37.080 --> 1:07:38.960
<v Speaker 3>I wanted to have them next to me in that.

1:07:39.000 --> 1:07:41.840
<v Speaker 2>Have you seen those those cribs that sort of like

1:07:41.920 --> 1:07:43.439
<v Speaker 2>lay next and you can put them up and down.

1:07:43.720 --> 1:07:45.080
<v Speaker 1>And I just like, oh, I'm.

1:07:44.920 --> 1:07:48.040
<v Speaker 2>Going to put them to bed and I'll sing to them.

1:07:48.240 --> 1:07:50.000
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's an audience of one and they have

1:07:50.120 --> 1:07:56.040
<v Speaker 2>to enjoy that. You will enjoy the High School Musical

1:07:56.040 --> 1:07:59.600
<v Speaker 2>two soundtracks sung by me, and you know that was

1:07:59.680 --> 1:08:02.560
<v Speaker 2>really and just watching them go to sleep and their

1:08:02.560 --> 1:08:07.600
<v Speaker 2>little face, imagining that really crystallized in my mind.

1:08:08.280 --> 1:08:10.320
<v Speaker 3>And then I was doing a lot of kinesiology where

1:08:10.320 --> 1:08:11.920
<v Speaker 3>you ask the baby to come to you.

1:08:12.680 --> 1:08:13.400
<v Speaker 1>Ah.

1:08:13.640 --> 1:08:14.280
<v Speaker 3>The lady said.

1:08:14.320 --> 1:08:16.600
<v Speaker 2>When I did kinesiology this last time, which was two

1:08:16.640 --> 1:08:19.680
<v Speaker 2>weeks before the transfer, She's like, you don't need any

1:08:19.720 --> 1:08:22.080
<v Speaker 2>help because you've done it all the work. And I

1:08:22.120 --> 1:08:25.400
<v Speaker 2>was like, I know. And they put the best embryo

1:08:25.480 --> 1:08:27.960
<v Speaker 2>in there, and I was like, you will last. And

1:08:28.000 --> 1:08:31.000
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have any deodorant. I didn't drink Yeah, literally

1:08:31.040 --> 1:08:33.520
<v Speaker 2>I did went without deodorant rank but I didn't want

1:08:33.520 --> 1:08:36.400
<v Speaker 2>to have any scent and I changed to natural deoda

1:08:36.400 --> 1:08:38.960
<v Speaker 2>and I didn't drink any cold water nothing like I.

1:08:40.360 --> 1:08:41.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm just looking.

1:08:43.600 --> 1:08:44.800
<v Speaker 3>Like she did.

1:08:45.360 --> 1:08:48.640
<v Speaker 1>No, I'm just looking at you. I'm just looking at you.

1:08:48.720 --> 1:08:52.680
<v Speaker 1>It makes me really happy when when you finally cry,

1:08:53.240 --> 1:08:54.160
<v Speaker 1>what's going to happen?

1:08:55.720 --> 1:08:58.920
<v Speaker 3>It'll be like, uh, Noah's ark.

1:08:58.960 --> 1:09:02.000
<v Speaker 2>I just won't stop crying, Like I think, it's all

1:09:02.040 --> 1:09:04.320
<v Speaker 2>like open the flood gates and it won't end.

1:09:04.720 --> 1:09:07.800
<v Speaker 1>Are you more of a sad crier or a happy crier?

1:09:08.440 --> 1:09:12.080
<v Speaker 2>I will cry at anything, and that's why this is

1:09:12.120 --> 1:09:16.880
<v Speaker 2>so frustrating, and I'm h I hate it. I hate

1:09:16.880 --> 1:09:19.240
<v Speaker 2>that I can't really I feel like I can't get

1:09:19.280 --> 1:09:22.880
<v Speaker 2>any release. And also it drives people insane because people

1:09:22.920 --> 1:09:24.440
<v Speaker 2>like want me to cry and I can't.

1:09:26.200 --> 1:09:28.440
<v Speaker 3>My friends and stuff, they're like, they cry all that.

1:09:28.680 --> 1:09:31.120
<v Speaker 2>My best two best friends every time they see me,

1:09:31.160 --> 1:09:33.840
<v Speaker 2>they cry, like my two best mates. They've both have children,

1:09:34.120 --> 1:09:36.440
<v Speaker 2>and every time they see my belly they cry because

1:09:36.440 --> 1:09:37.400
<v Speaker 2>they've been through it with me.

1:09:38.160 --> 1:09:39.240
<v Speaker 3>My brother cried.

1:09:39.640 --> 1:09:41.840
<v Speaker 2>You know, he's thirty two. He's not a cry And

1:09:41.920 --> 1:09:44.560
<v Speaker 2>my brother found out like it was. It was a

1:09:44.600 --> 1:09:47.320
<v Speaker 2>long process. But when he thought, you know, when I

1:09:47.320 --> 1:09:49.680
<v Speaker 2>was up the twelve week mark, he cried at breakfast.

1:09:49.840 --> 1:09:51.600
<v Speaker 2>My sister in law cries all the time, and they're like,

1:09:51.600 --> 1:09:52.600
<v Speaker 2>why can't you cry.

1:09:52.600 --> 1:09:56.840
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, I know, it's annoying, you're saving yourself.

1:09:57.680 --> 1:10:00.840
<v Speaker 1>Yes, well, you know, my mom my dad. It was

1:10:01.000 --> 1:10:04.760
<v Speaker 1>four years since he died yesterday and my mom has

1:10:04.800 --> 1:10:09.520
<v Speaker 1>not cried. And she's also puzzled by the fact that

1:10:09.520 --> 1:10:12.560
<v Speaker 1>she hasn't cried. And I'm talking about we cried so

1:10:12.800 --> 1:10:17.480
<v Speaker 1>much at his funeral that the chapel ran out of tissues.

1:10:17.800 --> 1:10:22.120
<v Speaker 1>So we were all crying. The boys got up and spoke,

1:10:22.200 --> 1:10:26.120
<v Speaker 1>and everyone was just bereft. And he was old. He

1:10:26.240 --> 1:10:29.400
<v Speaker 1>was eighty nine, and they obviously think old people don't

1:10:29.520 --> 1:10:32.560
<v Speaker 1>you don't love. Old people, don't get loved as much

1:10:32.560 --> 1:10:34.880
<v Speaker 1>as you know, you'd expect to cry like a young

1:10:34.920 --> 1:10:41.520
<v Speaker 1>person's funeral. But we were just awash with tears. And

1:10:41.560 --> 1:10:46.360
<v Speaker 1>my mother nothing dry as a dingo. Yeah, and still not,

1:10:46.720 --> 1:10:48.440
<v Speaker 1>and she doesn't know why.

1:10:48.600 --> 1:10:51.080
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I thought, maybe there's only so many tears you

1:10:51.120 --> 1:10:53.360
<v Speaker 2>get in life, and I've already used up on my

1:10:53.440 --> 1:10:54.440
<v Speaker 2>tears on pregnancy.

1:10:54.920 --> 1:10:59.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh, you're an idiot. You wait, you're going to be

1:10:59.640 --> 1:11:03.440
<v Speaker 1>crying like a little bitch, I hope.

1:11:03.480 --> 1:11:06.080
<v Speaker 3>So I need to rub this with me.

1:11:07.640 --> 1:11:09.040
<v Speaker 1>You know it's going to make you cry.

1:11:09.960 --> 1:11:13.600
<v Speaker 2>Tom with the baby, even Tom he holds the dog,

1:11:13.640 --> 1:11:15.040
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, oh, that's so cute.

1:11:15.120 --> 1:11:18.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because he talked. But seeing Tom with the baby,

1:11:20.000 --> 1:11:23.160
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna cry like someone left the cake out in

1:11:23.160 --> 1:11:26.080
<v Speaker 1>the room. Hey, one more question.

1:11:26.240 --> 1:11:28.240
<v Speaker 3>Actually, because you've.

1:11:28.080 --> 1:11:34.520
<v Speaker 1>Been on this uncharted track, there have been other people

1:11:34.520 --> 1:11:36.440
<v Speaker 1>that have been on it with you that you would

1:11:36.440 --> 1:11:41.760
<v Speaker 1>have gotten to know. How how do you feel? How

1:11:41.880 --> 1:11:47.000
<v Speaker 1>was it telling them that you've finally had success when

1:11:47.080 --> 1:11:47.920
<v Speaker 1>maybe they haven't.

1:11:48.440 --> 1:11:52.840
<v Speaker 2>In my experience, every person I had been through the

1:11:52.920 --> 1:11:56.720
<v Speaker 2>journey with of infertility with and they'd been doing IVF simultaneously.

1:11:56.760 --> 1:11:59.320
<v Speaker 3>To me, I was the last basically the.

1:11:59.320 --> 1:12:03.080
<v Speaker 2>Last one really except for one friend, and I told

1:12:03.160 --> 1:12:07.640
<v Speaker 2>her end. I didn't dread it because I was like,

1:12:07.680 --> 1:12:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I've just got to tell you and just be really

1:12:08.960 --> 1:12:09.880
<v Speaker 2>honest and straightforward.

1:12:10.400 --> 1:12:10.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

1:12:10.760 --> 1:12:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Literally every other person that was on the journey with me,

1:12:14.040 --> 1:12:18.520
<v Speaker 2>one has a five year old. Like I'd only had

1:12:18.520 --> 1:12:21.840
<v Speaker 2>one friend left, and they started later as well, So

1:12:21.880 --> 1:12:27.560
<v Speaker 2>that's interesting. Most people have, yeah, had two or three

1:12:27.560 --> 1:12:29.640
<v Speaker 2>babies in the time that I've tried to have one,

1:12:29.840 --> 1:12:32.200
<v Speaker 2>which these time stamps are cooked.

1:12:32.640 --> 1:12:36.200
<v Speaker 1>Well, you know, time just passes. But like you said earlier,

1:12:37.080 --> 1:12:39.520
<v Speaker 1>if you measure it with a child, you're like, oh,

1:12:39.520 --> 1:12:41.120
<v Speaker 1>that's what five years like.

1:12:42.000 --> 1:12:44.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I'm like, all I've done in five years

1:12:44.680 --> 1:12:46.920
<v Speaker 2>is sort of just go to and from Donut King,

1:12:46.960 --> 1:12:47.680
<v Speaker 2>Merrickfield Metro.

1:12:48.360 --> 1:12:50.360
<v Speaker 3>You've done quite a lot, right right, a little bit.

1:12:50.240 --> 1:12:51.519
<v Speaker 1>More than beautiful.

1:12:51.600 --> 1:12:53.480
<v Speaker 3>Get me out of here. Otherwise I'll just talk to

1:12:53.560 --> 1:12:54.720
<v Speaker 3>Kate till the end of time.

1:12:56.960 --> 1:12:59.280
<v Speaker 1>Tanya Hennessy is one of those people that, to me

1:12:59.360 --> 1:13:03.360
<v Speaker 1>feels like she's always been around. She's made us laugh,

1:13:03.440 --> 1:13:06.840
<v Speaker 1>she's made us cry, she's reminded us just how messy

1:13:06.960 --> 1:13:11.400
<v Speaker 1>and beautiful life can be. And she's shared the hardbats,

1:13:11.640 --> 1:13:16.120
<v Speaker 1>which are sometimes the most difficult parts to share, her endometriosis,

1:13:16.160 --> 1:13:21.720
<v Speaker 1>her fertility struggles, the long winding road to the destination

1:13:22.000 --> 1:13:27.000
<v Speaker 1>of this baby, with an honesty that's unflinching and real

1:13:27.200 --> 1:13:32.560
<v Speaker 1>and touching. Today we celebrate her joy, but her story

1:13:32.640 --> 1:13:36.040
<v Speaker 1>isn't just about a happy ending. It's about resilience and

1:13:36.120 --> 1:13:39.240
<v Speaker 1>love and the courage to keep going even when life

1:13:39.320 --> 1:13:44.320
<v Speaker 1>doesn't make it easy, and as always, a little laughter

1:13:44.560 --> 1:13:48.680
<v Speaker 1>along the way helps more than just about anything else.

1:13:49.480 --> 1:13:52.320
<v Speaker 1>Be sure to subscribe to No Filter to hear more

1:13:52.400 --> 1:13:56.240
<v Speaker 1>extraordinary stories from the people who have lived them. The

1:13:56.280 --> 1:13:59.640
<v Speaker 1>executive producer of No Filter is Nama Brown, The senior

1:13:59.720 --> 1:14:04.000
<v Speaker 1>producer is Bree Player. Audio production is by Jacob Brown,

1:14:04.080 --> 1:14:07.640
<v Speaker 1>and video editing is by Josh Green. This episode was

1:14:07.680 --> 1:14:12.640
<v Speaker 1>recorded with Session in Progress Studios and I am your host,

1:14:13.320 --> 1:14:16.880
<v Speaker 1>Kate Langbrook, and I thank you so much for listening.

1:14:21.640 --> 1:14:24.720
<v Speaker 1>If you're looking for more, to listen to every Mumma

1:14:24.800 --> 1:14:30.080
<v Speaker 1>Mia podcast is curating your hot Girl summer listening right

1:14:30.120 --> 1:14:34.600
<v Speaker 1>across our network. From pop culture to beauty to powerful interviews,

1:14:34.600 --> 1:14:37.640
<v Speaker 1>there is something for everyone and you will find the

1:14:37.680 --> 1:14:41.200
<v Speaker 1>link in the show notes. Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional

1:14:41.200 --> 1:14:43.720
<v Speaker 1>owners of the land and waters that this podcast is

1:14:43.760 --> 1:14:44.400
<v Speaker 1>recorded on.