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Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma Mia podcast. Hello, I'm kateline Brook

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Speaker 1: and welcome to No Filter. This summer, we've curated a

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Speaker 1: special No Filter playlist with some of our most unforgettable conversations,

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Speaker 1: and this one feels especially joyful to revisit. Tanya Hennessy

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Speaker 1: is one of Australia's funniest and most beloved creators, but

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Speaker 1: behind the laughs, she's had a really long, painful road

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Speaker 1: to motherhood, years of IVF and heartbreak, and always she

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Speaker 1: maintained hope. When we recorded this conversation, Tanya was finally

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Speaker 1: pregnant after eight years of trying. She shared the reality

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Speaker 1: of infertility with raw honesty and humor, some of it dark,

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Speaker 1: and she spoke about her dream of spending Christmas with

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Speaker 1: the baby she'd waited for so long to meet. And

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Speaker 1: now all this is give him me goosebumps. That dream

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Speaker 1: has come true. Tanya and her husband Tom have welcomed

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Speaker 1: their little miracle. So today we're revisiting the full conversation

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Speaker 1: that touched so many hearts, the story of what it

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Speaker 1: takes to keep believing when everything feels impossible. Here is

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Speaker 1: Tanya Hennessy.

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Speaker 2: Christmas has always been a really tough time of year

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Speaker 2: because I love it so much, and you know, every

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Speaker 2: it's a marker of time, and it's like, damn it.

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Speaker 3: You know, we didn't have the baby this year.

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Speaker 2: Nothing happens like it's passing time and I'm aging and that's.

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Speaker 3: Not a good thing in the clinics, you know, it's.

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Speaker 2: And I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like

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Speaker 2: such a gift.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to No Filter. I'm Kate line Brook and

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Speaker 1: today I'm sitting down with Tanya Hennessy. Is funny, she's relatable,

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Speaker 1: she's endlessly honest. But behind the laughs, she's faced a

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Speaker 1: very long, very hard road to one of life's most

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Speaker 1: cherished milestones, becoming a mother. In this conversation, Tanya opens

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Speaker 1: up about the heartbreak, the hope, and the quiet moments

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Speaker 1: that tested her strength. She talks candidly about her battle withindometriosis,

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Speaker 1: the challenges of infertility, and how she brought her audience

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Speaker 1: along with her every step of the way, sharing the raw, real,

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Speaker 1: often messy journey. And then, finally, the moment she got

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Speaker 1: the baby news she'd been waiting for, a moment of

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Speaker 1: joy that's deeply personal, yet a reminder that every journey

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Speaker 1: to parenthood is different, and that hope, courage, and perseverance

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Speaker 1: look different for everyone. Here is Tanya Hennessy. Tania Hennessy. Welcome, Welcome,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to No Filter.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is a good podcast for me

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Speaker 2: because I was not born with a filter.

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Speaker 3: It gets me into trouble sometimes.

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Speaker 1: No, it's perfect for you. But let me welcome you

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Speaker 1: by saying this, Hello mama.

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Speaker 2: Oh girl, don't I'm so emotional, but I can't cry

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Speaker 2: figure that one out?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Are you just get me to know? Though?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I think the process of IVF and loss has

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Speaker 2: made it really difficult to connect to my I can't try.

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Speaker 3: It's so weird, it's so bizarre.

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Speaker 1: Do you think drives me up the wall? Because you

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Speaker 1: have spoken very openly about the seven years ooh of

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Speaker 1: fertility treatments and loss, as you said, and you've had endo.

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Speaker 1: You've been really lucky.

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Speaker 2: My god, how much money can I spend on this

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Speaker 2: unborn child? I know, almost one hundred and twenty grand,

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Speaker 2: which is like outrageous. I don't have a house, and

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Speaker 2: I don't have much savings because I've made some fertility choices.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, like, I really think that if I hadn't

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Speaker 2: have gone through all of this nonsense with fertility, maybe

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Speaker 2: I'd be connected slightly more. I'm a little bit worried

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Speaker 2: about it, kay, to be honest, because I'm worried that

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Speaker 2: this baby's gonna come out and I'm going to be

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Speaker 2: dissociative with it because it's like, I also have an

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Speaker 2: anterior placenter, so I can't feel them kicking.

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Speaker 3: What does what does that mean?

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know much of biology though I've

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Speaker 1: had four children. Anterior placenta, so anterior outside something oh no, oh.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yes, where would it normally be. It's on the front,

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Speaker 3: so oh okay, it kicks, so it's at the run.

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Speaker 2: So basically every time you can have at the back

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Speaker 2: or the side, but the frunt is where they.

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Speaker 3: Kick kick, and you can't feel anything.

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Speaker 2: So it's I'm like, I also just look a bit chubby,

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Speaker 2: which is fine, but I've been this size before, so like, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Like, are you there?

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Speaker 1: Are you there? Yes? Yeah? Right, you haven't had that

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Speaker 1: moment yet where you've kind of popped and you go

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Speaker 1: I look to the world like a pregnant lay.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And even the scans I reckon my brain can't

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Speaker 2: quite understand that that's in me because it looks like

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Speaker 2: a film or something. You know, everyone has this scan,

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Speaker 2: but I've never had the scan where you said the

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Speaker 2: baby right.

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Speaker 3: Ever, I've always just had empty, empty scan. My brain

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Speaker 3: can't compute that that's in me, and I am in therapy.

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Speaker 2: It's a really it's really working.

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Speaker 3: It's really working, honest, my therapist.

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Speaker 2: Just like saw you on the cover of that Body

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Speaker 2: and Soul, I'm like, girl, are you therapising?

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Speaker 1: You?

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Speaker 3: Just a fan?

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Speaker 1: Like that was a great cover, by the way, Yeah, and.

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Speaker 2: You know it's it was that was so scary. Kate like,

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Speaker 2: who oh god, oh but I did it.

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Speaker 1: I did it well. You know, everything that you've done

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Speaker 1: is sort of scary, including uh, once you decide, if

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Speaker 1: you decide that you want to have a baby, and

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Speaker 1: then you find out that you can't or that the

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Speaker 1: path is going to be littered with so many obstacles,

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Speaker 1: that is really scary. Looking into the abyss of that

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Speaker 1: is scary, and particularly for women because we're so conscious

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Speaker 1: of the concept of time m and being on borrowed time.

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Speaker 3: Especially in this industry. I think you do find that

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Speaker 3: as well.

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Speaker 2: Like my whole life and I don't know about you,

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Speaker 2: but you know, I used to be wanted to be

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Speaker 2: an actor, particularly back in the day, and it was

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Speaker 2: very much like.

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Speaker 3: Oh so did I really Yeah, you have to forty.

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Speaker 2: You have to forty, you have to find forty felt

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Speaker 2: like off deadline. You couldn't act anymore, you couldn't do anything.

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Speaker 2: You were invisible at forty and at thirty nine. Being

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Speaker 2: pregnant feels, you know, it's the weirdest thing. I'm on

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Speaker 2: the precipice. My birthday will be three weeks before. By

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Speaker 2: fortieth birthday, three weeks before I give birth.

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Speaker 3: It's like, that's bizarre.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like turning forward and having this turn of

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Speaker 2: life at the same time as giving life. And my

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Speaker 2: brain is like, but I'm really excited at the same time,

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Speaker 2: but terrified, which I think is kind of normal.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting because when we were setting up the tech here,

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Speaker 1: I was just watching you and you were so still

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Speaker 1: and composed, and I thought, oh, it's a it's another

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Speaker 1: nuance of Tanya Hennessy.

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Speaker 3: Oh the stillness.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, m do you feel how do you feel different? Okay,

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Speaker 1: there's so many things I want to discuss with you.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to the moment, the moment where, and in

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Speaker 1: IVF procedures because they're so invasive, there's no secrets, are there.

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Speaker 3: Nah.

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Speaker 2: And when my embryo was going in my my doctor

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Speaker 2: was cranky at me because I did a different protocol

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Speaker 2: and he was like, Tanya Lyrish or Scottish, Tana, do

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Speaker 2: you not trust me? And I was like, it's not

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Speaker 2: that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't

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Speaker 2: have much mental space left. And if this doesn't work,

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Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm going to do. I work

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Speaker 2: in comedy, bro Like, I got no jokes. I've got

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Speaker 2: no light left in me. I've got to try everything.

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Speaker 2: It's not personal, it's drag like I'm trying to get

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Speaker 2: this done.

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Speaker 1: Also, I don't know how professional that is, although I do,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I don't think this is

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Speaker 1: the point when you're having an embryo transfer at which

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Speaker 1: the doctor should make it about them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, But being through like the medical system, I don't

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Speaker 2: think people like, yeah, I have a lot to say

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Speaker 2: about it, and how misdiagnosed situations get and how things

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Speaker 2: get forgotten and how much you have to advocate for

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Speaker 2: yourself to be honest, being on the other side of

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Speaker 2: fertility is so nice because I don't have to go

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Speaker 2: into a room and fight for myself like I have

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Speaker 2: had to do. And it's wearing and exhausting, you know,

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Speaker 2: going in and being like please help me, believe me,

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Speaker 2: and telling your story fifteen times, and you know, people

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Speaker 2: taking money from you and saying they're gonna help you,

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Speaker 2: and you.

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Speaker 3: Know, like it's vulnerable.

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Speaker 2: You're like, hey, I just need help, and people like, yeah, sure,

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Speaker 2: if you pay me six hundred dollars and then I'll

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Speaker 2: put you on this thing and it might work and

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Speaker 2: it might not yo.

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Speaker 1: And then because you've done this for a long time,

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Speaker 1: pretty well since you got together with Tom, or not

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Speaker 1: long after you got together with Tom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so like twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, like you're in

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Speaker 2: a studio with Angus O'Laughlin and we used to do

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Speaker 2: radio together and we were trying then, and Angus and

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Speaker 2: I have not done radio together since twenty nineteen, and

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Speaker 2: like he would know, and he's probably listening to this,

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Speaker 2: but he would know. I used to come in and

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Speaker 2: be like it's not working. It's not working, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean. That's a long hours time, right, Angus

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Speaker 2: has had two.

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Speaker 3: Babies since then. By the way, that's what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 3: It in that term is really interesting too.

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Speaker 1: And then what did how are you navigating the You know,

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Speaker 1: when you are in a relationship with someone and you

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Speaker 1: decide that you are committed enough to each other that

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Speaker 1: you want to have children, and then it seems that

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Speaker 1: it's a possibility, which I think before you have a child,

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Speaker 1: a lot of women think I'm not going to be

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Speaker 1: able to have a child, and I think men probably

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Speaker 1: think the same thing, only they're right.

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Speaker 3: They can contribute.

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Speaker 1: But you know, the women are the pig in the

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Speaker 1: bacon and eggs, like we committed. The chicken is participating.

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Speaker 1: That is the funniest That's one of my mothers.

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Speaker 3: Really stupid. I love it so much. The chicken is

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Speaker 3: just participating.

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Speaker 1: But the pig is committed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the figures in there. Yeah, so Tom tinks younger

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Speaker 3: than me.

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Speaker 2: He's only thirty two and I'm thirty nine, right, so

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Speaker 2: he's young.

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Speaker 3: So we were like, oh, he won't have any problems.

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Speaker 2: And you know, we were told for a really long time,

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Speaker 2: you're really young and healthy relatively, it should be fine.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, because that's thirty two, is young to start.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and he was twenty what seven twenty six

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Speaker 2: twenty he was younger that seven years younger than thirty

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Speaker 2: two whatever that is.

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Speaker 3: I don't do math.

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Speaker 2: So we were just told, like constantly, just keep trying,

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Speaker 2: just keep trying, just keep trying. And then eventually they.

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Speaker 3: Did a I begged.

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Speaker 2: I begged for an internal I was like, there's something wrong,

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Speaker 2: like this is insane.

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Speaker 3: He's like, you're stressed.

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Speaker 2: And I was at that time, I you know, I

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Speaker 2: was doing a I did a reality show and that

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Speaker 2: really messed with my head. And I was going like

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Speaker 2: backwards and forwards between jobs in Melbourne and Sydney and overseas.

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Speaker 1: And what was the reality show?

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Speaker 3: Oh I'm a still ah right, okay, the the UK one?

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Speaker 3: Nor did the Australian one.

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Speaker 1: The Australian one?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, but that was rough. I found that show

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Speaker 3: so hard, Like I don't know.

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Speaker 2: People love it, but like I hated it and still

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Speaker 2: think about it and hate it.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting. Why did you hate it?

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Speaker 2: Because you can't stop the door. And I'm so painfully

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Speaker 2: annoyingly creative that I hated not being able to create anything.

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to draw in the dirt or like

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Speaker 2: write something, and I wasn't allowed to It's like just

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Speaker 2: to have a chat with somebody else.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, but I don't want to talk to I

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Speaker 3: don't want to do that. I want to create something.

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Speaker 1: And one of those things about I mean, one of

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Speaker 1: the things about the job that we do is that

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Speaker 1: you can't just see a people. You have to look

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Speaker 1: for the diamond in the people in people. Yes, but

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Speaker 1: some people are just rocks and if that yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and so that's a long time to spend with rocks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I took my podcasting equipment in there, and like

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Speaker 2: that was kind of fun. So I got to interview

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Speaker 2: people as a part of you know, that was my

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Speaker 2: luxury item. By the way, tell you like a work

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Speaker 2: addict who takes podcasting it with.

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Speaker 3: Me, what's wrong with me?

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Speaker 2: But I like, at least I was sort of doing

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Speaker 2: something that felt proactive because reality people like Charlotte Crossby,

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Speaker 2: she's amazing, but she's really good at just existing and

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Speaker 2: making content by existing, whereas I'm a little bit more curated,

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Speaker 2: like I want to make something like a book or

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Speaker 2: a show or social video, and it's sort of more

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Speaker 2: orchestrated where She just exists and it's funny and brilliant,

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Speaker 2: and I just didn't have that capacity. And I would

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Speaker 2: look and there was Maths guys and Love Island guys

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Speaker 2: and they were really good at it. And I just

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Speaker 2: felt like, oh, I don't know how to just exist.

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Speaker 2: I'm more curated than existing. I'm not very interesting.

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Speaker 3: And unless I'm curated, maybe well, Tracey's.

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Speaker 1: Got to make it an outing, is what you're saying,

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Speaker 1: is because you have, you know, people that live inside you. Yes,

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Speaker 1: not just the baby.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's so weird to think there's like a

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Speaker 2: whole spine in me right now, Like how weird. But

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Speaker 2: Tracy actually came out of being so sick of myself

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Speaker 2: that I created this car who's a sixty year old

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Speaker 2: hairdresser and Baptist who has not trained since she went

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Speaker 2: to Tafe in the eighties, and I just really wanted

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Speaker 2: to do someone who just wasn't going through fertility challenges.

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Speaker 2: And she's in development for television, so you know, sometimes

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Speaker 2: darkness brings out rainbows. And I always thought that I

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Speaker 2: probably wouldn't have children just based on what I'd been through,

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Speaker 2: and I thought this would this is going to be

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Speaker 2: the last round this one. If it didn't work, I

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Speaker 2: was just gonna I would I would just have to

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Speaker 2: be satisfied with my life. I was going to find satisfaction.

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Speaker 2: But Tracy coming out of the darkness has actually been

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Speaker 2: one of the best things for me, because she's amazing.

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Speaker 1: We're into this woman because also she's even in the

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Speaker 1: you know, our conversation so far that you are beset

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Speaker 1: by doubt as a lot of creative people are, and

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Speaker 1: she has none none.

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Speaker 3: So confident.

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Speaker 2: Her like and she she doesn't have fertility struggles. She's

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Speaker 2: not overly complex, which I love, you know. I'm like

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Speaker 2: adhd deep as a well, very existential, like I think

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Speaker 2: about thinking all the time, and Tracy's just sort of like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this is what's in front of me.

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Speaker 3: I'll just deal with it. Whereas I go, oh, what's

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Speaker 3: the meaning of life? Terracy's the known nuance When.

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Speaker 1: You say, so this was going to be your last cracker,

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Speaker 1: he's trying in an assisted way to have a baby. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: had you allowed yourself to go down the path of

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Speaker 1: if it didn't work, how your life would look?

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I've been Yeah, and Tom and I both

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Speaker 2: went down that path, and we kind of had gone

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Speaker 2: so far down it, which is probably why it's hard

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Speaker 2: to cry. But we were like, well, let's go to

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Speaker 2: Mexico and let's do a Kate and live in Italy

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Speaker 2: for a year. And you know what I mean, We

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Speaker 2: sort of had decided to find other things that would,

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Speaker 2: you know, enrich our life and our experience. But we

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Speaker 2: knew that there would always be like a certain level

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Speaker 2: of grief, right.

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Speaker 3: I just wanted to know. I wanted to know what

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Speaker 3: it was like to be a parent. I have this

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Speaker 3: thing with and this.

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Speaker 2: Is the thought of existentialism, is that, like, what is

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Speaker 2: the human experience? I want to have the whole thing?

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Speaker 2: You know, I've got a tattoo, and not because I

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Speaker 2: wanted one. I want to know how it felt. How

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Speaker 2: does it feel to have a baby, How does it

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Speaker 2: feel to be a parent? Like I want to have

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Speaker 2: the whole gamut of the human experience.

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Speaker 1: At what point did you say to Tom, this might

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Speaker 1: not be a possibility if you are to stay with me,

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Speaker 1: You know that that you're so cognizant of the fact

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Speaker 1: that there's another person that may be denied something because

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Speaker 1: of the vagaries of the human body.

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Speaker 2: He was always like, don't worry about it. We'll have

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Speaker 2: a great life anyway.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: It was actually him coming the other way because I

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Speaker 2: was like struggling and annoyed and frustrated, and he was

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Speaker 2: like he was over it too, because it is it's

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Speaker 2: and it's draining on a level that and he was

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Speaker 2: just like, you know what, it's not worth it. Your

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Speaker 2: mental health isn't worth it, your body isn't worth it,

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Speaker 2: and gained a lot of weight, and I was very uncomfortable,

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Speaker 2: very unhealthy, and I was so sad, and he was like, Tanya,

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Speaker 2: don't worry.

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Speaker 3: If we can't have it, we can't have it.

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Speaker 2: So like let's grieve and we'll move on. Let's go

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Speaker 2: to the zoo and have a couple of lines. You know,

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Speaker 2: Like he's he's very mature for his age, but he

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Speaker 2: also has three sisters, so I think he really understands women.

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Speaker 1: And what's the formation of your family. I know you've

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Speaker 1: got your sister.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I'm the eldest, so which just makes no sense

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Speaker 2: because I'm the most immature personal live and my younger

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Speaker 2: sister has like the older sister, right, you know, she's

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Speaker 2: got that sort of more mature vibe.

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Speaker 3: You know, she works in the raft like the Royalistory

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Speaker 3: Air Force.

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Speaker 2: And you know, the other day I made a video

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Speaker 2: about perfume where I wasn't wearing a bra, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean, like with creative and really logistical brains.

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Speaker 3: Sort of happened that way.

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Speaker 2: And then I've got a brother, a little brother, and

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Speaker 2: his wife is due to have a baby, I think tomorrow,

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Speaker 2: so oh, we'll have cousins really close four months, which.

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Speaker 3: Was part of your fantasy, it was.

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Speaker 2: And I think we'll only do one slash. I don't

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Speaker 2: only think I can't have another one. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to do this again. I cannot do this again one

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Speaker 2: and are we really stoked? And hopefully the baby will

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Speaker 2: be good friends and close with their cousins so they

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Speaker 2: can have like, you know, close relationships, because I just

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Speaker 2: I won't.

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Speaker 3: Do this to myself, which aspect of it.

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Speaker 2: Or first of all, the first trimester is for no one,

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Speaker 2: Like why are we painting pregnancy like it's you know,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, like people on the beach in overalls being.

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Speaker 1: Good yes, flat, decorating a nursery with a roller and

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Speaker 1: delightfully artfully splattered with paint.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I barely moved for twelve weeks and

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Speaker 2: just survived off twisties and second trimester. I've definitely gotten better,

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Speaker 2: but I've been on zol off the whole time. But

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Speaker 2: I feel bad about winging about being pregnant because I

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Speaker 2: took me solent to get pregnant. So I don't want

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Speaker 2: to be seen as being a dick about it, because

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Speaker 2: I am very grateful and very thankful. But it is

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Speaker 2: not as nice as an experience as I.

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Speaker 3: Thought it would. I genuinely thought it would be nice.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people have a really terrible time when

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Speaker 1: they're pregnant, and yet there are seven billion people in

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Speaker 1: the world, so you do know that the payoff has

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00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 1: to be quite spectacular. Exactly exactly And did you have

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Speaker 1: bad morning sickness?

380
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 3: Yes, yep.

381
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 2: And I was hosting Pete Haller at the Sydney Riders Festival.

382
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 2: Was on session and I didn't want to tell p

383
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Speaker 2: because I want to stress him out or like make

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Speaker 2: him feel like I wasn't capable of hosting him. But

385
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Speaker 2: I threw up before the session, after the session, like

386
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Speaker 2: the whole before we got there in the car, you know,

387
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,479
Speaker 2: And this is wild, how amazing women are really is

388
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 2: what it does to your brain, not only to survive

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Speaker 2: like the endurance of infertility, but then to go through

390
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 2: the experience of successful pregnancy and be like whoa this

391
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Speaker 2: is Like I feel like my brain is like what

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Speaker 2: is happening?

393
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Speaker 3: Because you kind of get to a point with IVF.

394
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:41,639
Speaker 2: You get stuck in the rounds, you get stuck in

395
00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:44,399
Speaker 2: the yes, you get stuck in the embryo quality, you

396
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 2: get stuck in the is it going to sticky? Is

397
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Speaker 2: it going to stay? And then all of a sudden

398
00:20:49,159 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 2: you kicked out of the IVF clinic. They're like say, yeah,

399
00:20:52,399 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 2: go to an OB. You go to your OB, and

400
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 2: then you sort of on another path very rapidly after

401
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,119
Speaker 2: years and years of being stuck in sort of neutral

402
00:21:00,679 --> 00:21:02,199
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden you're in third year and

403
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 2: you don't know what to do. But I'm kind of

404
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 2: enjoying not knowing what to do because I'm a bit

405
00:21:07,639 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 2: of a control freak and I.

406
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Speaker 3: Kind of love that. I'm like, I don't know what's

407
00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 3: going to happen when this kid comes out of me.

408
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,400
Speaker 3: How am I going to change? That's kind of it's scary,

409
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,439
Speaker 3: but I'm also like ready for the change.

410
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,919
Speaker 1: Next Tanua reveals how Christmas became more than a holiday.

411
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 1: It became the promise of a family she'd fought so

412
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Speaker 1: hard for. Have you projected yourself into the future space

413
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: of being a parent with Tom and worked out what

414
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 1: sort of parent You're going to be? Like? What is

415
00:21:41,919 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 1: your I think there's always like a Hallmark movie moment

416
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,679
Speaker 1: that is your on your mental vision board or whatever?

417
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,959
Speaker 1: Christ is yours Christmas? Right, So this year would be

418
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Speaker 1: our eighth Christmas without a baby. And Christmas has always

419
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Speaker 1: been a really tough time of year because I love

420
00:22:00,399 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: it so much, and you know, every it's a marker

421
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 1: of time, and it's like, damn, you know, we didn't

422
00:22:05,399 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 1: have the baby this year. Nothing happens like it's passing

423
00:22:08,159 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 1: time and I'm aging and that's not a good thing

424
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Speaker 1: in the clinics, you know, it's.

425
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Speaker 2: And I'm actually due on Christmas Day, which feels like.

426
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 1: Such a gift. I know that is That's a movie.

427
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 2: So then I think about like fun Christmas names, But

428
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 2: then I'm like, no, you can't call your kid Noel,

429
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 2: or can you?

430
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 3: I don't know, well, Nol was a proper.

431
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 2: Name in Nol is cool, but like Holly is missletoe,

432
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,759
Speaker 2: too far. Probably elf ELpH Santa, I don't know, just

433
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:46,119
Speaker 2: got a fierce But so Christmas is something like we

434
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 2: you know where, like people who went to New York

435
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 2: for Christmas because we just love Christmas. I decorate the

436
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 2: four Christmas trees.

437
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 3: One is pink.

438
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 2: I've got a Christmas book. I love Christmas. It's my thing.

439
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 2: And I've been buying Christmas presents for this baby for

440
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 2: so long, so it's gonna be nice to actually get

441
00:23:04,879 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 2: them out. I bought them a good Christmas sack, like

442
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,999
Speaker 2: maybe Stocking twenty sixteen, and I've just hung onto it

443
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,439
Speaker 2: and put stuff in there for years.

444
00:23:13,679 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: Oh, really like a glory box for a baby.

445
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:17,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

446
00:23:17,919 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 1: And what's in there?

447
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 2: Oh, there's like blankets and like random toys and just

448
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 2: you know, like a puppy surprise, because it's more just

449
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 2: as I like stage pollypocket in there. I wasn't sure

450
00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 2: what I was going to have, so I just got

451
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 2: a bunch of stuff. But it's more sometimes when the

452
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 2: transfer works and then you have a chemical for that

453
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 2: three days, your brain gets tricked into believing you're going

454
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 2: to be a parent. So a lot of it's been

455
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 2: purchased during those times or Yeah, but you know, the

456
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 2: amount of gifts that we've gotten from family members that

457
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 2: bought them eight years ago is like the coolest thing

458
00:23:54,399 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 2: because you're like, these gifts, even though they're kind.

459
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 3: Of allow, people are bringing them out. Yeah, and people

460
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 3: held onto them like Wow, they had so much faith

461
00:24:03,639 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 3: and hope.

462
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,519
Speaker 2: Like I think that if there's one thing that, like,

463
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 2: you can take almost anything from me anything, but like

464
00:24:13,399 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 2: you'll never be able to take my hope or creativity.

465
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 2: And they're the two things that have helped me survive, hope.

466
00:24:20,639 --> 00:24:26,999
Speaker 2: And I don't know how how I managed to go

467
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 2: through this because I look back on it now and

468
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 2: I feel very sad for myself, Like you, poor bitch,

469
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 2: what you've been through, Like, hope is loud.

470
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 3: You must have had a time during the process in which.

471
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,640
Speaker 1: You felt that hope was lost? Or did you never?

472
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a video of it. I lost my mind.

473
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually filmed a documentary on it. It was

474
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 2: called Sticky Filmed Three Rounds of IVF.

475
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 1: Was this the doco that that didn't end up getting shown?

476
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 1: Was that that much?

477
00:24:58,919 --> 00:25:00,400
Speaker 3: Yeah? No one bought it, And.

478
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 2: I understand why no one bought it now, because I

479
00:25:05,399 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 2: mean that was filmed in twenty twenty and it didn't

480
00:25:08,159 --> 00:25:09,799
Speaker 2: work till twenty twenty five, so that would have been

481
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 2: a long investment for a potential zero.

482
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 3: Oh was the idea to follow you?

483
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they wanted to show the reality of IVF

484
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,159
Speaker 2: and like the funniness, because sometimes that's funny, like you know,

485
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 2: once they did you know, they did the thingies up

486
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 2: the bomb. What do they call the repositories for painkiller?

487
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:34,160
Speaker 2: They didn't like a scan for the eggs internally, right,

488
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 2: They took blood out of meat and then they go, now,

489
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 2: we also need to do a COVID test. I was like,

490
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 2: what orifice will you not go in today? And the

491
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 2: answer is all of them?

492
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? I said, why can't Tom

493
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 3: do the bloody COVID test?

494
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 2: He his anus has not been taken a frigging painkiller?

495
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,879
Speaker 2: Like come on, it's like that's always better for the

496
00:25:53,879 --> 00:26:00,400
Speaker 2: woman to do it. But yeah, like rough rough Town McGee.

497
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 2: But I understand why I want picked it up. But

498
00:26:03,399 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 2: the footage was quite cool because Amy Schumer did a

499
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 2: documentary about her experience being pregnant.

500
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 3: I think she ha hg.

501
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:10,999
Speaker 2: She had really bad morning sickness and then she was

502
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 2: touring comedy, and I was like, wouldn't it be cool

503
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,199
Speaker 2: to see the process of fertility?

504
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 3: But also I was working.

505
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Like I was like hosting

506
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:24,799
Speaker 2: the actors for the digital section, and I was, you know,

507
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,199
Speaker 2: making sponsored.

508
00:26:25,879 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 3: Content at the time.

509
00:26:26,639 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 2: I was doing a lot of panel shows, and it

510
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 2: was like interesting to have these two sort of diametrically

511
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 2: opposed things running together. And I was like, that would

512
00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 2: make a great doco, but everyone said no to it,

513
00:26:37,399 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 2: and I was like, Jesus fucking.

514
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 3: Christ, that's right. But also that's the industry.

515
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: That was in it response to when you lost hope.

516
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to find some meaning and maybe if

517
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 2: I could turn my pain into purpose it would be

518
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 2: somehow worth it. And I think as a content creator

519
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 2: and a radio announcer and a writer, to have all.

520
00:27:00,919 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 3: This sadness and no lesson or no.

521
00:27:06,159 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 2: Nothing I could gain out of it just felt so

522
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 2: worthless and pointless.

523
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 3: Girl, These these I like through.

524
00:27:14,159 --> 00:27:16,199
Speaker 2: I through a vase this day because I was like

525
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,439
Speaker 2: they said, I was called up and said, no embryos, nothing,

526
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,759
Speaker 2: and I was like I just gained like twenty kilos

527
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 2: nothing is what like this is? This is wildly unfair?

528
00:27:27,399 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 2: Because you normally go to the doctor and the doctor goes,

529
00:27:29,159 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 2: you've got a broken leg. Here's what you do about it.

530
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 2: You go, hey, I got broken fertility and they go,

531
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 2: we don't know, but we are going to use you

532
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 2: as a human test dummy for the next twelve to

533
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 2: fifteen months and we can't promise anything. And it's like

534
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 2: it's not their fault, but you're like it makes you

535
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 2: incensed within, like you're furious about like why why can't

536
00:27:50,399 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 2: anyone help me or promise me? And you're just looking

537
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 2: around going, well, someone tell me if this is going

538
00:27:53,919 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 2: to work in the answer is no one can.

539
00:27:56,159 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 3: So that's why the hope is so necessary to get through.

540
00:28:00,159 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 2: But yeah, I had rough times where I was like,

541
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 2: that's why I have to take like eight months off.

542
00:28:05,639 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 3: Just to survive.

543
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 1: And what was the infertility was attributed to your INDO? Yeah,

544
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 1: which when were you diagnosed with that?

545
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 3: Like twenty twenty two? Oh that late years that's why?

546
00:28:20,159 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 3: Oh yes, oh what girl?

547
00:28:24,639 --> 00:28:25,999
Speaker 2: It was on the scan. So when they did the

548
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 2: internal that I begged for. In the internal, they were like, girl,

549
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,679
Speaker 2: you've got really bad endo. How do you Your periods

550
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 2: must be awful? And I was like this is just

551
00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 2: the radiographer or whatever, you know, she's doing the internal scan.

552
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 3: I'm not sure if there were job positions. Sorry.

553
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 2: And and I was like, I have ENDO and she's like, yeah,

554
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: it's on your bow, it's everywhere. I was like, she's like, yeah,

555
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 2: this is like stage four. She's like, I'm not allowed

556
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 2: to diagnose though, but you can. It's very it's bad.

557
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: How many stages are there, by the way, five?

558
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, so onne's four, which means on another

559
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 2: it's on another part of your body.

560
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 3: So I've got it in my.

561
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 2: Uterus and bow, or you can have it on your lungs,

562
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 2: you can have a new kidney, you can have it.

563
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 2: Some people get no brain their heart, like it's crazy

564
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 2: because they don't quite know what it is.

565
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 1: Right, So it's just it's this excess tissue.

566
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but it's inflammatory as well.

567
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: Right. So Tanya, so twenty twenty two, you have been

568
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: exploring the obstacles to your fertility for four years?

569
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 3: Yeah?

570
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,239
Speaker 1: Four years?

571
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

572
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: Has no one, no medical professional at any time during

573
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: that for two years?

574
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

575
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 2: So after I did the Jungle, after I did i'm Celab,

576
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 2: there was a lot of like, oh, you've got you know,

577
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 2: you keep traveling and you're missing cycles, but you're young

578
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 2: and you're healthier chicken, you know what I mean. That's

579
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 2: that's where that conversation came from. The first two years

580
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: we were doing with our medical assistance, and then the

581
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 2: second so I was just doing I saw on TikTok.

582
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 3: To be honest with you, but you've still seen a doctor.

583
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 1: You've seen a doctor and has nobody said at this

584
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: point this is a good starting place for women who

585
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: are experiencing fertility issues, is let's have a look at

586
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: what's going on.

587
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 3: Didn't happen, No, And that's why that's yeah, it makes

588
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 3: sense sense.

589
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 2: This was what I'm saying about advocation, Like I wish

590
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 2: I had a known that endo was even gonna do

591
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 2: this to me, Like I thought my pain was super normal.

592
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 2: Also like I don't know, I'm kind of like the

593
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 2: ENDO is annoying, but I can survive it. What I

594
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 2: couldn't survive was not being a parent. And I'm not

595
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 2: real good at taking no as an answer, Like in general,

596
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: if I want something.

597
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: Yes, but the no could have been a maybe or

598
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: even a yes earlier.

599
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah.

600
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,479
Speaker 2: I like, why didn't they find it when I was

601
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 2: a teenager and I had to take two days off

602
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 2: from school most of my you know, ten eleven twelve.

603
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 2: Why didn't when we first go to the GP, they

604
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,759
Speaker 2: look at that, but it was, oh, you've got to

605
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 2: lose weight, you know. It was every excuse instead of like,

606
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 2: let's do an internal, and that's what I begged for.

607
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 3: The internal.

608
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,479
Speaker 2: That's when it really all shifted. None out of surgery

609
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 2: and then straight to IVF. And then I went on

610
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:27,759
Speaker 2: a menopause drug, a synthetic menopause drug that which was

611
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,759
Speaker 2: really messed up. I took that flick six months and

612
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 2: it basically stops your menstrual flow, so it stops your

613
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 2: eggs from getting amongst the endometriosis and the inflammation. But

614
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 2: as a result you go it two synthetic menopause.

615
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 3: I'm not looking forward to menopause.

616
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:50,759
Speaker 2: After like six months of it, I was like, wow, Like,

617
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 2: you get the hot flushes, you get really emotional, your

618
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 2: boobs go up and down, all of the symptoms of menopause,

619
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 2: but you're trying to achieve the opposite.

620
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: So through all of this, you're being funny, attempting to

621
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:06,759
Speaker 1: be you're being funny.

622
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 2: I've actually achieved attempting.

623
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 1: Like it's amazing. And I say this as someone whose

624
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 1: son had leukemia and I did my job, which was

625
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: also being funny for four years and people would always go,

626
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: I don't know how you did it. But now I'm

627
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: saying to you, yeah, so true. But I understand because

628
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 1: in my.

629
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 3: Cause you see, yeah what you will.

630
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: Well, in my case, it was sometimes the only I

631
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: was doing breakfast radio with Hughsey.

632
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why it was breaky.

633
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was breaky. And very often I couldn't make

634
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: it to the studio. I'd have to be at the

635
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: hospital or home with our other three children for various

636
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: reasons when things were really terrible. But when I did

637
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:56,239
Speaker 1: make it there, it would sometimes be the only time

638
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,999
Speaker 1: in my day, in my week, in my month that

639
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 1: was not about cancer. Oh and do you find that,

640
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: did you find that blessed release?

641
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 3: Oh for sure, because yeah, like one thing I loved.

642
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 2: About doing full time radio and I'm not done full

643
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 2: time radio on a long time now, but god, I

644
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: loved it back in the day when it was there's.

645
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 1: Only eight people doing full time radio.

646
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 2: I know, but because you really, like, no matter what

647
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 2: was going on in my life, I could always go

648
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 2: on air and it would just disappear.

649
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 3: Everything else would disappear.

650
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 2: And you know if it's the antidote to anxiety really

651
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 2: because you're so present, because you have to be, you

652
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 2: have to be right there in the moment, listening, responding, reacting,

653
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 2: live and one hundred per one hundred percent content creation

654
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:54,479
Speaker 2: and you know, doing film, television, books, books, book tours, whatever, podcasting.

655
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 2: It became my safe space and fund space because it

656
00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 2: was like nothing else.

657
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,799
Speaker 1: You've also had. You know, there are parallels in our

658
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 1: experience since as far as that goes, but you also

659
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: had it going on within your body and the flattening

660
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 1: that can happen with hormonal surges and treatments and whatever

661
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 1: is like nummy, I know.

662
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 2: But Kate, like, I freelance so I can choose whether

663
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 2: or not I do and don't work, which not all

664
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 2: the time because sometimes you need money to.

665
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:33,919
Speaker 3: Live and rent to this concepts, But like I think

666
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 3: when you.

667
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 2: Work in a team, like how you know you were

668
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,399
Speaker 2: with hughs, it's so hard to not come into work

669
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 2: because you do feel like, oh no, you know, I'm

670
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 2: like the team and the team and this and you

671
00:34:44,759 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 2: hold it differently to when you're a freelancer doing it solo.

672
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 2: But I mean, yeah, I had to cancel a lot.

673
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,919
Speaker 2: I still I don't like to cancel a lot like

674
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 2: or at all, because I still have that and I

675
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,800
Speaker 2: don't know if you have this still. I'd be interested

676
00:35:00,799 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 2: to know, because I do see a lot of myself

677
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,399
Speaker 2: in you imposter syndrome, Like I'm so scared to say

678
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 2: no to an opportunity because of what if it never

679
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:09,839
Speaker 2: comes up again.

680
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 3: So that's why I never want to cancel all a thing.

681
00:35:13,759 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: That's a freelancer thing. And I think showbies generally as well.

682
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: If you're not a NEPO baby and you haven't been

683
00:35:21,759 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: born with this clear pathway to you know, the yellow

684
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 1: brick road that leads to OZ, then I think you

685
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: always have a thing that I need to accept this

686
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 1: opportunity because this opportunity may not come again, And it's

687
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: true that certain opportunities only come once.

688
00:35:38,799 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I had this amazing opportunity the other day.

689
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 2: I lost my mind over it. It was an animation.

690
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 2: Can you deal doing it? An animation?

691
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 3: It's like my freaking dream. And it was a villain.

692
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 2: It was a cartoon villain, and I was like, oh

693
00:35:52,759 --> 00:35:54,439
Speaker 2: my God, and I auditioned, I did the whole thing,

694
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: and I got it. And I've auditioned a lot and

695
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,519
Speaker 2: got nothing, Like I'm not even kidding A probably audition

696
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 2: for one hundred and twenty things back in the day

697
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 2: and got literally nothing. I am actually incredibly talented at

698
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:11,399
Speaker 2: not getting auditions, unbelievably skilled, honestly, I should write about it.

699
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 2: But I got this job, and I was so sick,

700
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 2: I was so mourning sick.

701
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 3: But I was like, I'm going to take everything possible

702
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 3: and I'm going to pretend.

703
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 2: And once I got behind the microphone, you know, I was,

704
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 2: you know, going through it, but I was like, come on,

705
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,959
Speaker 2: come on, this is like and it was the best day.

706
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 2: It was the best day of my career. And I

707
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 2: got to push it away for like a bit and

708
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,839
Speaker 2: get there. But like it's so different. This pain, like

709
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 2: not pain, but like this, you know, the difficulty of

710
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 2: pregnancy is nothing compared to the difficulty of infertility.

711
00:36:40,279 --> 00:36:41,959
Speaker 3: Like I prefer this.

712
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 1: Then, well because also one is finite and one is infinite.

713
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, real infinite, And that's the hardest part of it.

714
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:56,400
Speaker 1: And when you imagined your life, I know that you

715
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: said you and Tom, Tom was always like, we're going

716
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: to have a great life. What was it that was

717
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 1: so important about having a child? To you?

718
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:11,879
Speaker 3: I feel like a part of me just wouldn't have

719
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 3: felt whole.

720
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: And I hate saying that because I know some people

721
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 2: can't have children, they don't want to have children. But

722
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,799
Speaker 2: I'm speaking on my personal.

723
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 1: Life, of course, And can I just say as well,

724
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 1: there's a real tendency for us not want to not

725
00:37:29,279 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 1: want to hurt other people with what we have, and

726
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: I do think you need to set that aside because

727
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 1: not everyone can have everything. It's really hard, it's terrible.

728
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:45,280
Speaker 1: We all have friends who have not held in their arms.

729
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 1: It's a little one that they wanted to hold.

730
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, isn't that Blue episode? That blue episode where the

731
00:37:52,279 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 2: ant cast day because she can't have children? God, that

732
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 2: episode is so meaningful to me because I felt like

733
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 2: I've not been the best aunt.

734
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 3: When did you see it? Where were you at when

735
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 3: you saw it?

736
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 2: I think I was like around six of IVY and

737
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 2: I was like no, no, no, no, no, five five, and

738
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 2: I was like, oh god, and I wasn't getting anything

739
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 2: as my eggs kept breaking because the quality was so bad.

740
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 3: And so then just yeah, I don't know.

741
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 2: I think I've always wanted to be a parent because

742
00:38:17,759 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 2: I want to know how it feels. I want to

743
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,879
Speaker 2: know what life is like to be a parent. I

744
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 2: want to see the world through a child's eyes.

745
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 1: I don't know.

746
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 3: I feel like I just need to see them. I

747
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,959
Speaker 3: need to meet them. What do they like? What are they?

748
00:38:32,759 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 3: Do they like cricket? Do they like them?

749
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: For your sake that they don't like cricket?

750
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:42,280
Speaker 4: Girl?

751
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:46,839
Speaker 2: If on a Sunday, I can't, I am anyway, But no,

752
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 2: you know, I'm like, I'm just fascinated to know.

753
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 1: After this break, Tanya gets real about the fears that

754
00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: linger even as she counts down to becoming a mom.

755
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 1: What were you like when you were young?

756
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 3: Oh my god, chit.

757
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 2: I was a little shit. I'm so afraid for myself.

758
00:39:12,279 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 2: I was so naughty.

759
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 3: I was so like opinionated. When I was three, I

760
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 3: had my own radio show, you know what I mean,

761
00:39:20,279 --> 00:39:21,800
Speaker 3: Like I was, you know those.

762
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 2: Like little It was like a Fisher and Pike call thing,

763
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: and you'd press record and play at the same time

764
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 2: and record your own voice. And I had a little

765
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 2: microphone attached to it was like white plastic with a

766
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,320
Speaker 2: Fisher and Pike sort of red and blue.

767
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right, yeah, yeah, you had that yes,

768
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: And I used to say words that rhymed with duck,

769
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,840
Speaker 1: you know, just for entertainment for my parents, and they.

770
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 2: Were like, go away, and I was a real little

771
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 2: teenage nightmare, very opinionated, very creatively stuck. Radio saved my

772
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,839
Speaker 2: life because I I could finally be creative in my

773
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 2: own terms. Really, because being an actor you wait for opportunities.

774
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:00,839
Speaker 3: Radio Yes is just.

775
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 1: Do yes, and there's an immediacy.

776
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 3: There's an media see that really suits you. Yes and

777
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:07,720
Speaker 3: say with social.

778
00:40:07,759 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 2: Social really opened up the world for me in terms

779
00:40:09,799 --> 00:40:13,839
Speaker 2: of creating, because it's I'm find creating insatiable, Like I

780
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,999
Speaker 2: just want to make and create, Like I wrote five

781
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 2: books this year.

782
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 3: It's August.

783
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 2: I've been pregnant and done around the five years and

784
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 2: had an endo surgery. I just am very addicted to stories.

785
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 2: I love to tell stories, write stories, connect with people,

786
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 2: and I just I want this baby to grow up

787
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 2: in the I don't know magical way that I did.

788
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,879
Speaker 2: You know, I had such a great childhood and my

789
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 2: pop was so present, you know, I want them to

790
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 2: be like a part of my parents' life. And my

791
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 2: brothers and sisters.

792
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 3: And you know, how is Tom's family? What's his family situation?

793
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 2: So he's the youngest of four and yeah, all girls,

794
00:40:52,759 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 2: and they have all had children, like long, long time,

795
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 2: Like the oldest is old.

796
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,240
Speaker 3: Ah, so you've got babysitters.

797
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they live in Bloody to Woomba ah, not

798
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 2: into warm Yeah. Yeah, but I'm sure they'll come down.

799
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 2: They're all really pretty. Tom's sisters, they're all very attractive.

800
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,879
Speaker 2: But they all have long, dark hair, and so do I,

801
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 2: which makes me slightly confused about Tom's issues with famili.

802
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 3: Right, Like I have long dark hair and all the

803
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 3: sisters like, bro, what's this about? Let's talk.

804
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: Well there there's not that many choices. No, you're right,

805
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 1: I mean really, it's it's not that strange.

806
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 3: And Ted Bundy love to a girl with long, straight hair.

807
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 3: So does he call you sis? Twice?

808
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 2: He has no Sometimes I call him mum though, because

809
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 2: he does so much for me. And he's a chef, right,

810
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,519
Speaker 2: so his love language is foods, so he's like making

811
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 2: food all the time.

812
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 3: I'm like thanks, Mom, Like Jesus, Nope, that's not okay.

813
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,760
Speaker 1: Is your plan when the baby comes? What's your work plan.

814
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,359
Speaker 2: Tom's gonna be a stay at home dad, so he

815
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 2: we've structured it so he'll not work for twelve months

816
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 2: and I'll probably work within three months of uh giving birth.

817
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 2: But I'll do a C section. Not saying that that's easier.

818
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 2: I think it's actually going to be harder. I'm not

819
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 2: sure what's going to happen there. I've got to have

820
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 2: to see a midwife because I'm like, what happens after

821
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 2: it's out? Like, do you chat to it for a

822
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 2: little bit. It's obviously varied it.

823
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 3: Ah, if you're are you having a C section? Yeah?

824
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 1: Well I know about that because I've had four of them.

825
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,720
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah yeah, so I don't have the option

826
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:36,320
Speaker 2: because of my endometriosis.

827
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. So they'll they give the baby to

828
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:45,879
Speaker 1: the alleged father, yes, as I call Peter Lewis, and

829
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 1: then you they kind of clean you up and stitch

830
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 1: you up. Yeah, very important to stitch you up. Yeah,

831
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 1: and then sometimes it's quite sort of quick, maybe an hour,

832
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: but I had one that was a bit wonky and

833
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 1: that was maybe two and a half hour until I

834
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:06,720
Speaker 1: saw Peter and the baby.

835
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 3: Oh, so they kind of go away with the baby.

836
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, they yes, because they're not in the operating room

837
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,720
Speaker 1: or you're getting all that done, and then you see

838
00:43:17,759 --> 00:43:20,879
Speaker 1: the baby. I'll turn your hair nessy, I mean you

839
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,720
Speaker 1: see the baby straight away. When you have the baby,

840
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 1: they put the baby on your cheest so you have

841
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:29,240
Speaker 1: that moment, and they dangle the baby over the screen.

842
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 3: Yes, I love a dangle that the dangle is great.

843
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 1: And then Tom will probably be up because I said

844
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 1: I didn't want Peter seeing my innerds.

845
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 3: I don't know how you are about that, but I'm like,

846
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:41,720
Speaker 3: it's already.

847
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 1: I never wanted him down that, you know, business end,

848
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:47,359
Speaker 1: which was once was the party end.

849
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:51,999
Speaker 3: Party end.

850
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: And then he'll be there like stroking your head with

851
00:43:55,759 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: a little with your hair net on, and then hopefully

852
00:44:00,759 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 1: one of the kind people in the operating theater will

853
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 1: be filming it for you, also once again omitting the

854
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 1: parts in which you're cut open like a whale. Yeah,

855
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 1: I didn't want to see any of those.

856
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 3: I can't.

857
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,879
Speaker 1: And then they hand you the baby, and then the

858
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:19,839
Speaker 1: baby is on your chest and then you're like, oh,

859
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 1: my goodness, this is who you were all the time.

860
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:28,360
Speaker 1: How did I not know it was you? You make perfect sense,

861
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 1: don't Okay, that's that's going to be you.

862
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:33,959
Speaker 5: Yeah.

863
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 2: It's so bizarre because you go you see them as

864
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 2: it as an embryo on a screen, you know, and

865
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 2: they're oh gosh, they're like a pin prick right like

866
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: it's nothing, you can't see it, and then all of

867
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 2: a sudden it's it's got a heartbeat, but it's just

868
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,720
Speaker 2: a jelly bean and then it looks like a lizard

869
00:44:51,799 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 2: for a couple of months, and then it sort of

870
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 2: looks like a person.

871
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 1: What size are you at now?

872
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 2: It's the size of there was a Cantalob night, a

873
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 2: Cabrey Easter bunny. I've gone with the chocolate because where

874
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 2: you can pick things.

875
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,359
Speaker 4: Like I do fruit, I was like, nah, I'll do

876
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 4: I'll do the chocolate Cadbury Easter.

877
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what the big bundy are the bunny like,

878
00:45:14,799 --> 00:45:16,280
Speaker 1: you know, like the elegant rabbit.

879
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 3: No, not the elegant one, the bogan money just like

880
00:45:22,279 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 3: not the elegant one that's red, sure, sort of the

881
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 3: one down from that, like the middle side. Okay, and

882
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,879
Speaker 3: you know what you're having? I do? I do?

883
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 1: Yeah? And are you keeping that under wraps?

884
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 5: Yeah?

885
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of it has to do

886
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:37,399
Speaker 2: with fear. I'm like, what if I say it out

887
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 2: loud and then they don't come?

888
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:39,319
Speaker 3: I don't know.

889
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:44,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like that strange thing about not not buying

890
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 1: baby clothes.

891
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 2: I've not bought anything myself yet, like I have in

892
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 2: the past, but not currently. We do have a pram

893
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,479
Speaker 2: at home that we were sent, which was like the

894
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 2: wildest thing.

895
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 3: I was like, who sends a pram?

896
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: This is who did send a pram? A company?

897
00:46:00,759 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 3: A company? Oh lovely, Yeah, I'll take.

898
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:04,919
Speaker 5: Yeat.

899
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 3: Yes, I was Suzuki. What can I what can I take? Yeah?

900
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:16,240
Speaker 2: Like it's it's it's scary still, it's I'm scared most days.

901
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 1: Okay this to you, yes, ma'am. When you become a parent,

902
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:28,720
Speaker 1: you also become the carrier of a parcel of fear.

903
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 3: Oh great, you just do. Because there are certain.

904
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: Things in the world that when it's involving you, you

905
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 1: feel that you have some autonomy over all, that you

906
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: can handle it or whatever. But when you have a baby,

907
00:46:42,799 --> 00:46:46,999
Speaker 1: you're putting your little ship out to see in the

908
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 1: stormiest of waters whatever. You don't know what that little

909
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: bows is going to encounter.

910
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 3: I know, I know, I see with my friends all

911
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 3: the time, and like, kids.

912
00:46:55,799 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 1: Get bullied and whatever.

913
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:00,040
Speaker 3: Can you not go down to the school and bash them?

914
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 1: Like so, well I have I have done a bit

915
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 1: of the yeah.

916
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,999
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but iye work.

917
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 1: But part of it as well is you have to

918
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 1: have the faith that you had that has led you

919
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:19,919
Speaker 1: to here. Yes, and most people in the world are

920
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:21,240
Speaker 1: deserving of that faith.

921
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 3: Yes.

922
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 1: And if there's a gift that you can give your

923
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 1: unborn child, it is to give them that faith and

924
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: instill them with that faith in the world.

925
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone told me something really interesting, long story, but

926
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 2: I randomly played a drug dealer on Bump the Christmas movie.

927
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 1: Oh yeah right, ahu regnant by the way, aha.

928
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 2: Ah, rolling around playing this drug dealer with tats on

929
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 2: my face like it was actually really iconic. But I

930
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 2: said to Claudia carbon I was like, do you have

931
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,999
Speaker 2: any advice for me because you have kids? And she goes,

932
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:04,800
Speaker 2: everything is temporary, and I was like, that is excellent.

933
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 3: Including the tattoos on your face. Well on one has lasted.

934
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 2: Did it's some serious exfoliation? But yes, she said, everything's temporary,

935
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 2: so like it will end. So once you become great

936
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 2: at being a toddler mom, goodbye. They're they're at school,

937
00:48:20,279 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 2: and then you you know it's temporary.

938
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 3: And I was like, so true.

939
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 1: When do you think you'll allow yourself the luxury of

940
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: leaning into it and believing that.

941
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:36,800
Speaker 2: It's going to happen when they cut it out and dangle. Oh,

942
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 2: I just hope they're okay. I'm just like, are you

943
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 2: okay in there? Am I eating the right food?

944
00:48:41,759 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 4: But also I mean people, Oh, meth and her tanyah,

945
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 4: tell you can I tell us we're a fertility specialist

946
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 4: way back at the day. And I said, she goes, now,

947
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,799
Speaker 4: do you smoke? I said no. She goes, great, that's

948
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,720
Speaker 4: really bad for you. Do you do any recreation of drugs?

949
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 3: Meth? What do you any of that? I said no,

950
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 3: as a recreation drug meth?

951
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 2: And I said no, and she goes, well, to be honest,

952
00:49:08,279 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 2: meth isn't the worst. You better to have meth than cigarettes.

953
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:12,360
Speaker 1: Oh.

954
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 3: I was like, imagine, imagine me just casually.

955
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:21,279
Speaker 1: What So it's back to the other thing that I

956
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 1: think is it's a massive industry frightening women when they're pregnant. Oh, yes,

957
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,839
Speaker 1: about what about everything about what you can eat and

958
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:33,399
Speaker 1: what you blah blah and you.

959
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,439
Speaker 3: Oh and there's too much information out there.

960
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 1: The word there is, and it's a list that they're

961
00:49:38,799 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: like always adding to.

962
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:41,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

963
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, but once again, I go seven billion people in

964
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 1: the world, and there's a lot of soft cheeses that

965
00:49:48,799 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 1: have been eaten, right.

966
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 2: Yes, I because I've had such a crazy road, I

967
00:49:54,799 --> 00:49:57,319
Speaker 2: refuse to eat anything bad. I'm like, I will not

968
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 2: eat the soft jeep, I won't eat ruddy eggs. I

969
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 2: won't eat ham in saying that the day this kid

970
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 2: comes out of me, I am going to be it

971
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:11,439
Speaker 2: hit hard with some botox, retinoal, every kind of alcohol, like.

972
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 1: And a drive through macas meal.

973
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 3: Oh god, I love McDonald's so much. I never loved

974
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 3: it more.

975
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 1: I guarantee no matter where you have the baby, there'll

976
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 1: be a McDonald's nearby. It's the rule of hospitals.

977
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 3: I hope.

978
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,240
Speaker 2: So actually that is true. You know what's been really nice? Okay,

979
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 2: Like where I go to the pharmacy. I used to

980
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,400
Speaker 2: go get all my fertility meds, right, and then I

981
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 2: went to get all my end demetrios surgery, you know,

982
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: my painkillers, and then I went to go get my

983
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 2: as all off so they know that I'm pregnant before

984
00:50:44,759 --> 00:50:45,439
Speaker 2: anybody else.

985
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 3: And the women in the pharmacy are just so beautiful

986
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,799
Speaker 3: and they all got together and they're like, we know,

987
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 3: oh my god, you.

988
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 2: Know all the nurses that saw me for my endo

989
00:50:56,279 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 2: surgery and every like both of them, and you know,

990
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 2: it's so lovely how how much love I've been shown

991
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 2: and how much support I've been shown, And I feel

992
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 2: so grateful for people giving a shit about this story,

993
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 2: to be honest, Like when I shared it, I thought

994
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 2: it was going to be like twenty minutes later I

995
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 2: was going to have a baby. I thought i'd have

996
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 2: a five year old by now. The whole story just

997
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,959
Speaker 2: kind of I really didn't see it lasting this long.

998
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:27,320
Speaker 3: But you know why, because you have invited people in

999
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 3: and it resonates with you know, it's a universal desire. True.

1000
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 1: Without the desire to have children, that's the end of us.

1001
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:44,839
Speaker 1: And it's particularly unusual for someone who has a profile

1002
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 1: to share so openly, yeah, their pain.

1003
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:54,919
Speaker 3: And it's also because.

1004
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:58,280
Speaker 1: You hold a place of affection in people's hearts because

1005
00:51:58,279 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 1: of your comedic work.

1006
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:06,800
Speaker 2: Maybe people are just so lovely And I'm constantly shocked

1007
00:52:06,799 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 2: at how many people care, like even just like we

1008
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 2: go for walks and people stop us on walks. I

1009
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 2: guess the thing is, sometimes I'm very confused as to

1010
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,799
Speaker 2: how many people know who I am, Kate, because I

1011
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 2: just like make social media contact by myself. You do

1012
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,839
Speaker 2: radio by yourself something, you know, it's very like you know,

1013
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden people know who you

1014
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 2: are only like oh, okay, whoops, sorry I forget.

1015
00:52:26,279 --> 00:52:30,760
Speaker 1: And why are you surprised that people are so loving

1016
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 1: towards you?

1017
00:52:32,279 --> 00:52:34,280
Speaker 2: Oh, I just didn't think people would kind of care

1018
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 2: like for people like thumbs up, move on. You know,

1019
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,440
Speaker 2: it's so lovely that people hold space for you. In

1020
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 2: a world where time is a commodity, caring is like

1021
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:44,959
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Caring is hard for when

1022
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:47,280
Speaker 2: you know we've got no time and space for anyone

1023
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 2: or anything other than ourselves.

1024
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 3: Often, you know, because life is hard and stressful, and

1025
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:51,480
Speaker 3: so the fact that.

1026
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 2: Someone could remember my name and remember that I went

1027
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 2: through a struggle then can remember that I got.

1028
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 3: It to work is kind of amazing in this day

1029
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:00,239
Speaker 3: and age. It really is.

1030
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 1: But also because life is hard and stressful, that's why

1031
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 1: you need a baby. So true, that is just the

1032
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 1: that is the It's like looking into a fire.

1033
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:14,960
Speaker 3: Do you miss your babies? Like, do you miss your

1034
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 3: kids as babies?

1035
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:22,520
Speaker 1: Ah, I'm not very nostalgic, and I don't know if

1036
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:29,399
Speaker 1: that is because one of my children really died, So

1037
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,839
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because of that that I'm

1038
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:39,359
Speaker 1: not particularly But I was outside of primary school the

1039
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,759
Speaker 1: other day and I went, oh, do I miss that

1040
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 1: aspects of it? I do, I think, But also I'm

1041
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 1: really glad I don't have to do school pickup?

1042
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:53,280
Speaker 3: Oh my god, But I don't.

1043
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 1: Want to put you off.

1044
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 3: School's great schools.

1045
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 1: It's not at all like you're going back to school. Girl.

1046
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 2: I'm so bad at mouth and stuff like that. I

1047
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 2: don't know what I'm going to do in saying that.

1048
00:54:05,759 --> 00:54:08,040
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to go really narcissistic foot bok

1049
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 2: quick because I've written kids book. There's no way my

1050
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 2: kid is not going as Pink Santa. I am going

1051
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 2: to use my child. There's a little bit of marketing there,

1052
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 2: got pink Easter coming out. Guess what pink Easter.

1053
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: Well, you know, the child is an extension of you

1054
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 1: and an extension of Tom, so the child is going

1055
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: to be more toterrating.

1056
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:32,359
Speaker 3: Tom's such a lovely man. God, I hope they more

1057
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 3: more Tom than me.

1058
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 1: Well, how is he, by the way, when you told him?

1059
00:54:37,279 --> 00:54:39,479
Speaker 1: And when did you tell him? Was he with you?

1060
00:54:39,799 --> 00:54:40,039
Speaker 3: Well?

1061
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:44,719
Speaker 2: Am I bled on Easter? And so I was like

1062
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 2: that was four days or five days after the transfers.

1063
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 2: While I was like, it's chemical, it's not worked again.

1064
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 2: And then we called the IVF clinic went in for

1065
00:54:54,759 --> 00:54:58,359
Speaker 2: bloods HGG levels rising and they were like, no, it's

1066
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 2: actually very positive. Your hCG is almost twins. It's really high.

1067
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 2: So the blood is nothing, don't worry about it. And

1068
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:08,919
Speaker 2: so I think people do expect this moment where you

1069
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 2: tell them, but it's more like like a clock, it's

1070
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 2: just slowly ticking and say, with my mom and my

1071
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,959
Speaker 2: siblings and stuff like that, there's no moment because they

1072
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 2: were there.

1073
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 3: They were there when I planned.

1074
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,400
Speaker 2: And so I was like, okay, so it's positive, but

1075
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 2: we're not sure and no one, No one goes who

1076
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 2: because it's six seven days.

1077
00:55:29,279 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 3: So it is. It is definitely different to a traditional pregnancy.

1078
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:35,280
Speaker 2: And when I see people do these big announcement videos,

1079
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I'm so kind of jealous in away,

1080
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 2: but I would never take back my experience because what

1081
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 2: I have is so great, But it's definitely different to

1082
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 2: that reveal or like when he comes home with a

1083
00:55:47,279 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 2: pregnancy test it's positive, Like I more tested. So once

1084
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 2: I found out, I probably went through like seventy pregnancy

1085
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:56,839
Speaker 2: tests because I would test three or four and if

1086
00:55:56,840 --> 00:56:01,239
Speaker 2: the line got lighter, i'd have a yeah. Like so

1087
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 2: I'm just like, please stay, please stay with me, and

1088
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 2: they come to me sometimes in a like acupuncture and

1089
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 2: stuff like that. I don't have to do that much anymore,

1090
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 2: but I still do it for stress relief, but I'm asking,

1091
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 2: what is your name? What is your name? Did you

1092
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 2: know your kid's names? Did they present them to you?

1093
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 1: Or?

1094
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 3: I think by number three we were having trouble.

1095
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:29,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, and because they came quite rapidly, Yeah, it was

1096
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 1: the same thing, I think. And because I had my

1097
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 1: babies quite late, and you know, you hear so much

1098
00:56:35,279 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 1: about declining fertility or whatever, we just weren't prepared that

1099
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 1: when you open the damn wall, what can be waiting

1100
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:49,279
Speaker 1: behind there. So by number three we had trouble. But

1101
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:54,959
Speaker 1: Lewis Lewis was self evident. Yes, fierce Sunday Lewis. We

1102
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 1: knew because Sunday would have been Lewis's name, if Sunday was.

1103
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 1: If Lewis was a girl, then we had Artie Honore Lewis,

1104
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:08,600
Speaker 1: who's number three, and then Yanni after my dad. Yeah, yeah,

1105
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:11,400
Speaker 1: are you doing family names or well?

1106
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 2: See, I quite like I was saying this to your fair.

1107
00:57:14,759 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 2: I quite like Hennessy, which is my last name as

1108
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 2: a fair, which is.

1109
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 1: A beautiful name. Girl?

1110
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 3: Is it not? Nasa?

1111
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 2: So like, I feel like I'm so up why I

1112
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 2: feel like people be like there's a Zilian.

1113
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 1: Name, but but you know what, people smile?

1114
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 5: True?

1115
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:34,360
Speaker 1: Like really, although would it be it wouldn't be Hennessy Hennessy, No, but.

1116
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 3: That would be kind of fierce. Very Lewis Lewis, Yeah,

1117
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 3: very Lewis Lewis.

1118
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 1: I love it so good.

1119
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 3: You named her him? Just like, is that a non

1120
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 3: binary baby? It's not.

1121
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 2: It's just an easier way for me to communicate it

1122
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:53,959
Speaker 2: because I want to say the gender is so bad,

1123
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 2: but I don't want to muck myself up.

1124
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 1: No, don't, and I won't make you. What have you

1125
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 1: learnt about yourself? Do you think that's surprised you?

1126
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 2: I've always thought I was resilient, and now I know

1127
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 2: I'm resilient. I think that I've been in parenting boot

1128
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 2: camp since I decided that I, well, we decided we

1129
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 2: want to have kids, which was seven years ago. So

1130
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 2: I feel like, if there's one thing I've learned, it's patience,

1131
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:24,280
Speaker 2: which I've always struggled with as somebody who does content

1132
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 2: and creation immediate with immediacy, So patience is something I

1133
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:31,999
Speaker 2: really struggle with, which is why I have not done

1134
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 2: film or television because it's very long and it's very annoying.

1135
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:44,479
Speaker 2: But I've learned patience. I've also learned more better boundaries.

1136
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 2: I'll tell you the second I got pregnant, I feel

1137
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 2: like my boundaries and people pleasing.

1138
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,919
Speaker 3: Shifted hard how well.

1139
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:54,240
Speaker 2: I was like, I no longer can just like listen

1140
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 2: to people say things that aren't true and just not

1141
00:58:56,840 --> 00:59:00,360
Speaker 2: along because it's easier. I was like, no, I got

1142
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 2: to stand up for myself because I want my kids

1143
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 2: to stand up for themselves and not just keep over

1144
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 2: to people and people pleasing and just agreeing to be you.

1145
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 3: Know what I mean.

1146
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 2: And I think the other thing I learned is that

1147
00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:18,200
Speaker 2: even before you become a parent, you need a community,

1148
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 2: Like it takes a village to raise a mother. M

1149
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 2: It takes a village to raise a child, but it

1150
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 2: takes a village to raise a mom. And I feel

1151
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,919
Speaker 2: like I've grown up a lot. Sometimes I didn't want

1152
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:31,040
Speaker 2: to grow up, but I did.

1153
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 3: I wish it.

1154
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 2: I wish I didn't have to go through this experience.

1155
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 2: I wish most people didn't have to go through this.

1156
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:40,280
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a very lonely agony.

1157
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 2: It's also really annoying just having to go to the

1158
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 2: IVF clinically six days a week.

1159
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1160
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 1: And you know, the faith that you were talking about before,

1161
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 1: at the very least you would think that you can

1162
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 1: have faith in your body and you don't have that. Yeah,

1163
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 1: And that's a terrible thing.

1164
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 2: And just nothing is promised, you know, nothing is as

1165
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 2: you grow up. First time I had sex, Kate, I

1166
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 2: made my boyfriend at the time wear two condoms because

1167
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I will not be a teen mother. Girls,

1168
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,959
Speaker 2: that didn't matter. I would not have been a teen mother.

1169
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:19,760
Speaker 2: I could have slept around a lot. But you know,

1170
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 2: you don't know that. And you but the narrative we're

1171
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 2: sold is don't have sex because you'll get pregnant, And

1172
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 2: so you go, I will have children.

1173
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 3: I will have children.

1174
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: So then it's very shocking to find out that you

1175
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 2: potentially won't because you think it's going to be your choice.

1176
01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 1: But guess what I know say it.

1177
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 3: I will be having a baby. Christmas will be a

1178
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,480
Speaker 3: rough money Christmas. I hope it comes. I hope it

1179
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 3: comes so I can have.

1180
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 1: Had Oh my god, you're all twisted up like a pretzel,

1181
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,439
Speaker 1: and yet you're as loose as a goose girl.

1182
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 3: You are exactly as you should be. Do you reckon?

1183
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, this is it. Welcome to not knowing anything.

1184
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 2: I mean I've never known anything, so now I feel

1185
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:08,920
Speaker 2: very very comfortable.

1186
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 1: Hey, what will you whisper to the baby when you

1187
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:14,680
Speaker 1: meet the baby?

1188
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 3: I have a song?

1189
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 1: What's the song? Do you know?

1190
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 3: Smile by Michael Jackson.

1191
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 5: Your heart is breaking, Yes, smile even though it's breaking. Oh,

1192
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:32,360
Speaker 5: when there's a tune that there's a time you must

1193
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 5: keep on trying.

1194
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:35,560
Speaker 1: Smile. Ye.

1195
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:38,880
Speaker 3: Beautiful of that song.

1196
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:44,800
Speaker 1: Oh that's a beautiful song. You've made me crying. You're

1197
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:49,680
Speaker 1: like you're desiccated, like ain't nothing coming out of here.

1198
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:56,120
Speaker 3: I feel bad for you.

1199
01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 2: I would say, I would say I've waited my whole

1200
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:02,640
Speaker 2: life to me because I have. I really have waited

1201
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:08,240
Speaker 2: my whole life to meet to meet them, and I

1202
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 2: I'm actually like counting the weeks because people count, you know, like,

1203
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:16,280
Speaker 2: oh I'm twenty two weeks. I'm nineteen weeks till I

1204
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:16,959
Speaker 2: can meet them.

1205
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 3: I do the other way because I've already waited so long.

1206
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:25,880
Speaker 2: This is my eighth year, and I'm like yeah, because

1207
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 2: it's I'm like, hurry up, I want to meet you.

1208
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:30,520
Speaker 3: I want to take you to Disney.

1209
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:37,600
Speaker 1: Wow, Tanya Hennessy, you will be in motherhood as you

1210
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 1: are in life, maniac, a maniac full of joy.

1211
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,440
Speaker 3: It might be a bit stressed next time you see me.

1212
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:47,440
Speaker 3: I might look older and grayer.

1213
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:51,520
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think it's having kids keeps

1214
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 1: you young until it kills you. Oh great, positive parenting,

1215
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, I think I don't know about that. To

1216
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:05,959
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm a fan of Oh me too.

1217
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 2: I'm also going to make my kids watch care Bears,

1218
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,840
Speaker 2: well kid, like, I'm gonna make them watch eighties stuff.

1219
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 2: You will be watching the Land before time. Why wouldn't they, Well,

1220
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:19,160
Speaker 2: I've got news shows.

1221
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 1: Not if you cut off the Wi Fi?

1222
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:23,280
Speaker 3: So true, I'm like, oh, so weird.

1223
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 2: The Wi Fi is down all you can watch is Moms, tiktoks.

1224
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 5: Oh.

1225
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 1: I wish you every.

1226
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:32,880
Speaker 3: Joy, Thank you so much.

1227
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:38,919
Speaker 2: I'm I'm hoping that my my my tears come, if

1228
01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 2: I'm honest with you, because it feels like I'm a

1229
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:43,120
Speaker 2: bit blocked and it hurts.

1230
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:45,040
Speaker 3: It hurts to not be able to cry.

1231
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:46,919
Speaker 1: Don't come.

1232
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:50,440
Speaker 2: Sometimes I put my eyes up to the hair conditioning

1233
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,360
Speaker 2: just to try and make myself cry.

1234
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 3: It doesn't work.

1235
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,680
Speaker 1: What about when you're watching emotional things?

1236
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,720
Speaker 3: No, I can't cry in therapy. You can't cry anywhere. Really,

1237
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:04,120
Speaker 3: everyone found out the gender couldn't cry really.

1238
01:04:05,280 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 2: Okay, And I'm very connected to my film, so I

1239
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:10,919
Speaker 2: don't know what it's a self protection on another level.

1240
01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, good, But Liz, I'm telling you that, Liz,

1241
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 3: I'm telling you that. It's like I'm aware that it's happening.

1242
01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:20,400
Speaker 3: I'm not just some stoic asshole. You are a bit

1243
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:24,919
Speaker 3: stoic though, Oh you reckon? Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. I

1244
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:28,600
Speaker 3: love the stoics. Do you not normally stoic? It's just

1245
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:31,120
Speaker 3: respects them. It's this point, but you look at what

1246
01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 3: you've done for eight years.

1247
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:33,400
Speaker 1: You're a stoic.

1248
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:36,120
Speaker 3: Do you driven that you are as well in a way.

1249
01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 1: Yes, I definitely am the Dutch.

1250
01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:42,280
Speaker 2: You know, you're so grounded. You're way more grounded than

1251
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 2: I have ever been.

1252
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:45,200
Speaker 3: It's my heavy wooden shoes.

1253
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:55,160
Speaker 1: Sorry. In a strange what's that expression? Synergy? You met Breathe,

1254
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 1: the producer of No Filter, on a Disney cruise earlier

1255
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 1: this year. Yeah, and she had taken her niece and nephew.

1256
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 3: I think, oh my god, they're so cute. The nephew.

1257
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 2: The reason that we spoke to each other because the

1258
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:15,999
Speaker 2: nephew was being sousey and like he was like, guess

1259
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:17,840
Speaker 2: who I saw the lily And I was like, oh

1260
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:18,320
Speaker 2: my god.

1261
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:20,560
Speaker 1: This kid is cool. Yeah, you know, like a sassy kid.

1262
01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 3: And I was like, is this boy yours?

1263
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 2: And she was like, no, it's my nephew. And I

1264
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:27,520
Speaker 2: was like, this kid. I love their energy. I love

1265
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:28,960
Speaker 2: kids like that, you know, who just walk up to

1266
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,640
Speaker 2: a stranger and tell them some random fact.

1267
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 1: But at that point, so that was January, You're on

1268
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:35,000
Speaker 1: a Disney cruise which is.

1269
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:39,360
Speaker 3: Full kids kids. Yeah, and he's five days earlier.

1270
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 2: I just had an endo surgery, so I was in

1271
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 2: a bit of pain and on en don't But the

1272
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 2: thing is everywhere is full of children, and it's hard

1273
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 2: because you're like, I wish I could have this, and

1274
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:54,200
Speaker 2: I want this, And you see all the parents at

1275
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:56,439
Speaker 2: the pool and like looking up them and they're getting

1276
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:58,840
Speaker 2: them ice cream and like someone like Disney Cruise, it's

1277
01:05:58,880 --> 01:06:01,200
Speaker 2: like these kids are having the best time. It's not

1278
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:03,760
Speaker 2: just a fun time, it's like the ultimate life. And

1279
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:05,520
Speaker 2: you go, that's why I want to give my kid

1280
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:09,479
Speaker 2: this so bad. So an experience like that makes me well.

1281
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 2: It made me like, I'm going to take these bloody

1282
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:15,600
Speaker 2: intralipids and I'm going to time everything perfect perfectly to

1283
01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 2: make sure that this one stuck as much.

1284
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 3: As I could. That was did you have a sense that,

1285
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:24,720
Speaker 3: yes that he did? For sure?

1286
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:28,439
Speaker 2: Yes, done everything right. I took off all this time.

1287
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 2: I lost fifty three kilos so and that was an

1288
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:35,240
Speaker 2: inflammatory thing on top of the end.

1289
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:39,160
Speaker 1: Of what a response. Was that a response to the

1290
01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:44,040
Speaker 1: drugs or yes, that's a lot, that's a person three killers?

1291
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:46,840
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I look, you lost a person and gained

1292
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 3: a person. Oh my god, I did too.

1293
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:53,560
Speaker 2: So I timed the endometrious the surgery and I was like, buggert,

1294
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:55,760
Speaker 2: I will be going on a Disney cruise, and then

1295
01:06:55,960 --> 01:07:00,320
Speaker 2: I timed we embryo banked at the end of last year,

1296
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:03,240
Speaker 2: so it would be a fresh transfer a frozen transfer,

1297
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:04,520
Speaker 2: which is a bout for endemetri.

1298
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:05,680
Speaker 3: So I did a lot of.

1299
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 2: Research and then I did the BONDI or the protocol

1300
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:10,640
Speaker 2: on top of it. So it was like I just

1301
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:14,720
Speaker 2: was like, this will work. And I changed my mindset.

1302
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:16,240
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that that works for everybody.

1303
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:17,560
Speaker 3: Yeah my mind right.

1304
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:19,800
Speaker 2: I had to go, how's it going to look when

1305
01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 2: I put them to bed? How's it going to look

1306
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:24,959
Speaker 2: when they're you know, when I'm holding them? How am

1307
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:27,440
Speaker 2: I going to swaddle them? How am I going to

1308
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:30,480
Speaker 2: breast or bottle feed? And when I really started to

1309
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:34,240
Speaker 2: imagine it, that's what I think changed for me.

1310
01:07:34,600 --> 01:07:36,439
Speaker 1: How is it going to look when you put them

1311
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:36,800
Speaker 1: to bed?

1312
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 3: I wanted to have them next to me in that.

1313
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,840
Speaker 2: Have you seen those those cribs that sort of like

1314
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:43,439
Speaker 2: lay next and you can put them up and down.

1315
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 1: And I just like, oh, I'm.

1316
01:07:44,920 --> 01:07:48,040
Speaker 2: Going to put them to bed and I'll sing to them.

1317
01:07:48,240 --> 01:07:50,000
Speaker 2: You know, it's an audience of one and they have

1318
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:56,040
Speaker 2: to enjoy that. You will enjoy the High School Musical

1319
01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:59,600
Speaker 2: two soundtracks sung by me, and you know that was

1320
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:02,560
Speaker 2: really and just watching them go to sleep and their

1321
01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:07,600
Speaker 2: little face, imagining that really crystallized in my mind.

1322
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:10,320
Speaker 3: And then I was doing a lot of kinesiology where

1323
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:11,920
Speaker 3: you ask the baby to come to you.

1324
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:13,400
Speaker 1: Ah.

1325
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:14,280
Speaker 3: The lady said.

1326
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,600
Speaker 2: When I did kinesiology this last time, which was two

1327
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:19,680
Speaker 2: weeks before the transfer, She's like, you don't need any

1328
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,080
Speaker 2: help because you've done it all the work. And I

1329
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:25,400
Speaker 2: was like, I know. And they put the best embryo

1330
01:08:25,480 --> 01:08:27,960
Speaker 2: in there, and I was like, you will last. And

1331
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:31,000
Speaker 2: I didn't have any deodorant. I didn't drink Yeah, literally

1332
01:08:31,040 --> 01:08:33,520
Speaker 2: I did went without deodorant rank but I didn't want

1333
01:08:33,520 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 2: to have any scent and I changed to natural deoda

1334
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:38,960
Speaker 2: and I didn't drink any cold water nothing like I.

1335
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:41,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just looking.

1336
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:44,800
Speaker 3: Like she did.

1337
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:48,640
Speaker 1: No, I'm just looking at you. I'm just looking at you.

1338
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:52,680
Speaker 1: It makes me really happy when when you finally cry,

1339
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:54,160
Speaker 1: what's going to happen?

1340
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:58,920
Speaker 3: It'll be like, uh, Noah's ark.

1341
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:02,000
Speaker 2: I just won't stop crying, Like I think, it's all

1342
01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:04,320
Speaker 2: like open the flood gates and it won't end.

1343
01:09:04,720 --> 01:09:07,800
Speaker 1: Are you more of a sad crier or a happy crier?

1344
01:09:08,440 --> 01:09:12,080
Speaker 2: I will cry at anything, and that's why this is

1345
01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:16,880
Speaker 2: so frustrating, and I'm h I hate it. I hate

1346
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:19,240
Speaker 2: that I can't really I feel like I can't get

1347
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:22,880
Speaker 2: any release. And also it drives people insane because people

1348
01:09:22,920 --> 01:09:24,440
Speaker 2: like want me to cry and I can't.

1349
01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:28,440
Speaker 3: My friends and stuff, they're like, they cry all that.

1350
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:31,120
Speaker 2: My best two best friends every time they see me,

1351
01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:33,840
Speaker 2: they cry, like my two best mates. They've both have children,

1352
01:09:34,120 --> 01:09:36,440
Speaker 2: and every time they see my belly they cry because

1353
01:09:36,440 --> 01:09:37,400
Speaker 2: they've been through it with me.

1354
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:39,240
Speaker 3: My brother cried.

1355
01:09:39,640 --> 01:09:41,840
Speaker 2: You know, he's thirty two. He's not a cry And

1356
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:44,560
Speaker 2: my brother found out like it was. It was a

1357
01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:47,320
Speaker 2: long process. But when he thought, you know, when I

1358
01:09:47,320 --> 01:09:49,680
Speaker 2: was up the twelve week mark, he cried at breakfast.

1359
01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:51,600
Speaker 2: My sister in law cries all the time, and they're like,

1360
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:52,600
Speaker 2: why can't you cry.

1361
01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:56,840
Speaker 4: I'm like, I know, it's annoying, you're saving yourself.

1362
01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:00,840
Speaker 1: Yes, well, you know, my mom my dad. It was

1363
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:04,760
Speaker 1: four years since he died yesterday and my mom has

1364
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:09,520
Speaker 1: not cried. And she's also puzzled by the fact that

1365
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:12,560
Speaker 1: she hasn't cried. And I'm talking about we cried so

1366
01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:17,480
Speaker 1: much at his funeral that the chapel ran out of tissues.

1367
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:22,120
Speaker 1: So we were all crying. The boys got up and spoke,

1368
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:26,120
Speaker 1: and everyone was just bereft. And he was old. He

1369
01:10:26,240 --> 01:10:29,400
Speaker 1: was eighty nine, and they obviously think old people don't

1370
01:10:29,520 --> 01:10:32,560
Speaker 1: you don't love. Old people, don't get loved as much

1371
01:10:32,560 --> 01:10:34,880
Speaker 1: as you know, you'd expect to cry like a young

1372
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:41,520
Speaker 1: person's funeral. But we were just awash with tears. And

1373
01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:46,360
Speaker 1: my mother nothing dry as a dingo. Yeah, and still not,

1374
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:48,440
Speaker 1: and she doesn't know why.

1375
01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:51,080
Speaker 2: Yes, I thought, maybe there's only so many tears you

1376
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:53,360
Speaker 2: get in life, and I've already used up on my

1377
01:10:53,440 --> 01:10:54,440
Speaker 2: tears on pregnancy.

1378
01:10:54,920 --> 01:10:59,400
Speaker 1: Oh, you're an idiot. You wait, you're going to be

1379
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:03,440
Speaker 1: crying like a little bitch, I hope.

1380
01:11:03,480 --> 01:11:06,080
Speaker 3: So I need to rub this with me.

1381
01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:09,040
Speaker 1: You know it's going to make you cry.

1382
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:13,600
Speaker 2: Tom with the baby, even Tom he holds the dog,

1383
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:15,040
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, that's so cute.

1384
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:18,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he talked. But seeing Tom with the baby,

1385
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:23,160
Speaker 1: you're gonna cry like someone left the cake out in

1386
01:11:23,160 --> 01:11:26,080
Speaker 1: the room. Hey, one more question.

1387
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:28,240
Speaker 3: Actually, because you've.

1388
01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:34,520
Speaker 1: Been on this uncharted track, there have been other people

1389
01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:36,440
Speaker 1: that have been on it with you that you would

1390
01:11:36,440 --> 01:11:41,760
Speaker 1: have gotten to know. How how do you feel? How

1391
01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:47,000
Speaker 1: was it telling them that you've finally had success when

1392
01:11:47,080 --> 01:11:47,920
Speaker 1: maybe they haven't.

1393
01:11:48,440 --> 01:11:52,840
Speaker 2: In my experience, every person I had been through the

1394
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:56,720
Speaker 2: journey with of infertility with and they'd been doing IVF simultaneously.

1395
01:11:56,760 --> 01:11:59,320
Speaker 3: To me, I was the last basically the.

1396
01:11:59,320 --> 01:12:03,080
Speaker 2: Last one really except for one friend, and I told

1397
01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:07,640
Speaker 2: her end. I didn't dread it because I was like,

1398
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:08,960
Speaker 2: I've just got to tell you and just be really

1399
01:12:08,960 --> 01:12:09,880
Speaker 2: honest and straightforward.

1400
01:12:10,400 --> 01:12:10,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1401
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:12,960
Speaker 2: Literally every other person that was on the journey with me,

1402
01:12:14,040 --> 01:12:18,520
Speaker 2: one has a five year old. Like I'd only had

1403
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:21,840
Speaker 2: one friend left, and they started later as well, So

1404
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:27,560
Speaker 2: that's interesting. Most people have, yeah, had two or three

1405
01:12:27,560 --> 01:12:29,640
Speaker 2: babies in the time that I've tried to have one,

1406
01:12:29,840 --> 01:12:32,200
Speaker 2: which these time stamps are cooked.

1407
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:36,200
Speaker 1: Well, you know, time just passes. But like you said earlier,

1408
01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:39,520
Speaker 1: if you measure it with a child, you're like, oh,

1409
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:41,120
Speaker 1: that's what five years like.

1410
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:44,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm like, all I've done in five years

1411
01:12:44,680 --> 01:12:46,920
Speaker 2: is sort of just go to and from Donut King,

1412
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:47,680
Speaker 2: Merrickfield Metro.

1413
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:50,360
Speaker 3: You've done quite a lot, right right, a little bit.

1414
01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:51,519
Speaker 1: More than beautiful.

1415
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:53,480
Speaker 3: Get me out of here. Otherwise I'll just talk to

1416
01:12:53,560 --> 01:12:54,720
Speaker 3: Kate till the end of time.

1417
01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:59,280
Speaker 1: Tanya Hennessy is one of those people that, to me

1418
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:03,360
Speaker 1: feels like she's always been around. She's made us laugh,

1419
01:13:03,440 --> 01:13:06,840
Speaker 1: she's made us cry, she's reminded us just how messy

1420
01:13:06,960 --> 01:13:11,400
Speaker 1: and beautiful life can be. And she's shared the hardbats,

1421
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:16,120
Speaker 1: which are sometimes the most difficult parts to share, her endometriosis,

1422
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:21,720
Speaker 1: her fertility struggles, the long winding road to the destination

1423
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:27,000
Speaker 1: of this baby, with an honesty that's unflinching and real

1424
01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:32,560
Speaker 1: and touching. Today we celebrate her joy, but her story

1425
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:36,040
Speaker 1: isn't just about a happy ending. It's about resilience and

1426
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:39,240
Speaker 1: love and the courage to keep going even when life

1427
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:44,320
Speaker 1: doesn't make it easy, and as always, a little laughter

1428
01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:48,680
Speaker 1: along the way helps more than just about anything else.

1429
01:13:49,480 --> 01:13:52,320
Speaker 1: Be sure to subscribe to No Filter to hear more

1430
01:13:52,400 --> 01:13:56,240
Speaker 1: extraordinary stories from the people who have lived them. The

1431
01:13:56,280 --> 01:13:59,640
Speaker 1: executive producer of No Filter is Nama Brown, The senior

1432
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:04,000
Speaker 1: producer is Bree Player. Audio production is by Jacob Brown,

1433
01:14:04,080 --> 01:14:07,640
Speaker 1: and video editing is by Josh Green. This episode was

1434
01:14:07,680 --> 01:14:12,640
Speaker 1: recorded with Session in Progress Studios and I am your host,

1435
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:16,880
Speaker 1: Kate Langbrook, and I thank you so much for listening.

1436
01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:24,720
Speaker 1: If you're looking for more, to listen to every Mumma

1437
01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:30,080
Speaker 1: Mia podcast is curating your hot Girl summer listening right

1438
01:14:30,120 --> 01:14:34,600
Speaker 1: across our network. From pop culture to beauty to powerful interviews,

1439
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:37,640
Speaker 1: there is something for everyone and you will find the

1440
01:14:37,680 --> 01:14:41,200
Speaker 1: link in the show notes. Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional

1441
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,720
Speaker 1: owners of the land and waters that this podcast is

1442
01:14:43,760 --> 01:14:44,400
Speaker 1: recorded on.