1
00:00:12,850 --> 00:00:15,570
Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mother and Me a podcast.

2
00:00:17,970 --> 00:00:21,290
Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters.

3
00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:32,290
Speaker 2: This podcast is recorded on acceptance. We all crave it

4
00:00:32,410 --> 00:00:35,170
Speaker 2: because it makes us feel good, but it feels extra

5
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:37,730
Speaker 2: special when it comes at a time in need and

6
00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:41,290
Speaker 2: from someone who you immediately fancy. This was very much

7
00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,090
Speaker 2: the case when Sasha met Jay.

8
00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:46,570
Speaker 1: They kind of zoned in on me, even though there

9
00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:49,490
Speaker 1: were other women trying and she was getting annoyed with

10
00:00:49,610 --> 00:00:52,970
Speaker 1: these other women, but she had eyes on me, and

11
00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:56,290
Speaker 1: she said, well, what are you And I said, well,

12
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,890
Speaker 1: I'm queer, and then she goes, well, there's no such thing.

13
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,490
Speaker 1: You're either a lesbian or or not. And then I

14
00:01:03,970 --> 00:01:07,570
Speaker 1: be me went well no, there's queer, and there's like

15
00:01:07,770 --> 00:01:11,530
Speaker 1: that's not true, and that took her fancy. That was

16
00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:14,730
Speaker 1: thing that ignited her interest to me. Then all of

17
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:17,730
Speaker 1: a sudden, she's sitting beside me with her hand on

18
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:21,810
Speaker 1: my lap, and I'm like, okay, and I must have

19
00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:22,530
Speaker 1: been platted.

20
00:01:23,530 --> 00:01:26,330
Speaker 2: But the thing about acceptance is that when you have it,

21
00:01:26,330 --> 00:01:29,530
Speaker 2: it's something you're scared to lose, even if what originally

22
00:01:29,570 --> 00:01:33,930
Speaker 2: felt so good starts to feel isolating and off.

23
00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:38,330
Speaker 1: I was scared of homelessness. I was really scared of it, petrified.

24
00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:42,170
Speaker 1: I was so terrified, and I wasn't building any connections.

25
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:45,530
Speaker 1: So Weirdly, even though I was so excited, I'm like,

26
00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:48,610
Speaker 1: I'm not actually building a community here. I'm just getting

27
00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:51,210
Speaker 1: more and more isolated with all these wealthy gay people

28
00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:53,090
Speaker 1: who I don't have anything in common with.

29
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:05,570
Speaker 2: I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex

30
00:02:05,770 --> 00:02:07,970
Speaker 2: come with me as we dive into a collection of

31
00:02:08,130 --> 00:02:12,330
Speaker 2: unconventional stories about relationships passed through the eyes and the

32
00:02:12,370 --> 00:02:16,130
Speaker 2: hearts of the very people who lived them, meet Sasha.

33
00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:19,490
Speaker 2: Sasha is a proud member of the queer community, though

34
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,890
Speaker 2: at the time our story begins, they didn't really know

35
00:02:21,970 --> 00:02:24,850
Speaker 2: exactly what that meant or where they fit in. They'd

36
00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:27,050
Speaker 2: gone through a lot in their forty seven years.

37
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,050
Speaker 1: When they met Jay, I had just moved back from

38
00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:34,610
Speaker 1: Sydney back to Brisbane. Since that age of forty, I'd

39
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:37,850
Speaker 1: been moving around a lot. I was managing a lot

40
00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:41,010
Speaker 1: of the complex mental health issues that are sort of

41
00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:44,770
Speaker 1: trauma related. So before that I had worked in public

42
00:02:44,810 --> 00:02:48,410
Speaker 1: relations and i'd also worked as an event manager, but

43
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:52,650
Speaker 1: because of trauma from the past that I hadn't done

44
00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:55,490
Speaker 1: any work on it kind of all imploded around the

45
00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:58,850
Speaker 1: time I was forty, so I found myself suddenly being

46
00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:01,810
Speaker 1: thrust out of my career and then into this sort

47
00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:04,850
Speaker 1: of journey. So by the time I had met Jay,

48
00:03:05,090 --> 00:03:08,450
Speaker 1: I think I was about forty seven years old, and

49
00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:10,930
Speaker 1: by that time I'd moved twenty times, so I'd had

50
00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:14,850
Speaker 1: been experiencing a lot of homelessness, couch surfing, living in

51
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:19,690
Speaker 1: boarding houses, struggling to get diagnoses, and also I had

52
00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:24,690
Speaker 1: no family as well. I'm a survivor, a survivor of

53
00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:27,810
Speaker 1: quite a few, I guess, sexual assaults within my family.

54
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,130
Speaker 1: So during that period I was very much definitely trying

55
00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:33,650
Speaker 1: to work out what was wrong with me, trying to

56
00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:35,810
Speaker 1: get over the fact that I had lost my career

57
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:39,610
Speaker 1: and I'd always been really, really independent always. By the

58
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:42,610
Speaker 1: time I got to Brisbane, I was exhausted. I still

59
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,530
Speaker 1: was pretty much homeless in the sense that when I

60
00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:48,490
Speaker 1: got to Brisbane, I went to a hostel and then

61
00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:51,210
Speaker 1: after that I was sharing a house with a woman

62
00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:55,130
Speaker 1: and her two kids. But that was really problematic because

63
00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:58,810
Speaker 1: I wasn't really allowed to have friends over. So, I mean,

64
00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,770
Speaker 1: I'm forty seven at this time, but that was just

65
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:06,090
Speaker 1: what I was dealing with. So at that time, I

66
00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:09,570
Speaker 1: was going to meet ups and I was spending a

67
00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:11,930
Speaker 1: lot of time on my recovery. So by that time,

68
00:04:11,970 --> 00:04:15,890
Speaker 1: I'd had my diagnosis, which was complex post traumatic stress disorder.

69
00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:20,050
Speaker 1: So I went to the gym a lot. I had

70
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:23,890
Speaker 1: seen people bit more on a very transactional kind of level.

71
00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:27,330
Speaker 1: I had had one relationship with a woman when I

72
00:04:27,490 --> 00:04:29,890
Speaker 1: was thirty three, so I was definitely queer. I've been

73
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,330
Speaker 1: queer and out since the eighties. I'm more on the

74
00:04:33,410 --> 00:04:38,770
Speaker 1: pan bisexual spectrum. So my main love interests are women

75
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:43,170
Speaker 1: and the lesbian space. So I was tooken up, you know.

76
00:04:43,290 --> 00:04:46,210
Speaker 1: And I look great during my forties. I mean I

77
00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:49,570
Speaker 1: looked amazing. I was like long blonde hair. I was

78
00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:51,770
Speaker 1: a size eight, and that was the one thing I

79
00:04:51,810 --> 00:04:56,770
Speaker 1: could control because while I was waiting to see a psychologist,

80
00:04:57,090 --> 00:05:00,610
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, well, how turn it around, I could

81
00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:04,650
Speaker 1: afford the gym. I was totally absolutely obsessed with the gym,

82
00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:07,410
Speaker 1: and it was the one thing that kept me connected

83
00:05:07,450 --> 00:05:11,050
Speaker 1: with professional people and city life. And I just wasn't

84
00:05:11,090 --> 00:05:14,970
Speaker 1: really ready to give up that side of myself. And

85
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,130
Speaker 1: it was good. I was. I loved that period of

86
00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:19,690
Speaker 1: my life. I love being healthy and fit. I loved

87
00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:23,690
Speaker 1: everything about that period. But I wasn't dating, and I

88
00:05:23,730 --> 00:05:27,610
Speaker 1: hadn't dated anyone since i'd left my first girlfriend. So

89
00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:30,410
Speaker 1: what I left them when I was thirty six, I'd

90
00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:33,010
Speaker 1: been a long time, been ten years, and yes I

91
00:05:33,050 --> 00:05:36,890
Speaker 1: had some transactional affairs with men and women, but nothing

92
00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:39,930
Speaker 1: you know, serious. So by the time I got to

93
00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:44,450
Speaker 1: Queensland and I met Jay, I wasn't really thinking about

94
00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:48,170
Speaker 1: a relationship, but I felt really good. I felt like, Okay,

95
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:51,130
Speaker 1: I'm going to accept the fact that I'm on a disability.

96
00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:52,930
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be ashamed about it. I'm going

97
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:56,090
Speaker 1: to accept that I have complex PDSD. I'm going to

98
00:05:56,170 --> 00:06:00,370
Speaker 1: accept this radical acceptance. I also looked good and my

99
00:06:00,450 --> 00:06:03,130
Speaker 1: health was good, So that's how I'm That's where I

100
00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:03,570
Speaker 1: met them.

101
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,650
Speaker 2: Where they met was a meetup.

102
00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:08,290
Speaker 1: So meetup is an organization that was set up a

103
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,130
Speaker 1: new I think it's New York, and it's been around

104
00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:14,490
Speaker 1: for a long time. So let's say you fly into Melbourne.

105
00:06:14,570 --> 00:06:16,650
Speaker 1: You could go on to a meetup side of Melbourne

106
00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:19,090
Speaker 1: and there'll be like a group you can just go

107
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,690
Speaker 1: and hang out at a bar, or you can do photography,

108
00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:24,370
Speaker 1: or you can go on a hike. Now this group

109
00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:26,690
Speaker 1: wasn't a gay group, but it was just a bunch

110
00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:28,690
Speaker 1: of women who wanted to go to a gay venue

111
00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:32,090
Speaker 1: because a lot of women feel safe in the queer community.

112
00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:35,810
Speaker 1: And so I had organized the meetup because I actually

113
00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:38,170
Speaker 1: did want to go. I guess I did want to meet,

114
00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:40,810
Speaker 1: you know, a woman, and I was beginning to think, yeah,

115
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:45,010
Speaker 1: I'm definitely lesbian. Now I'd always I'm denared about. I

116
00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:47,690
Speaker 1: have been in quiz spaces and this is what's always

117
00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:50,890
Speaker 1: really frustrating. Like from the eighties, I've been part of

118
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:54,610
Speaker 1: the gay community, but because I'm paned, it's always been

119
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:57,410
Speaker 1: a bit weird. What people might not understand is if

120
00:06:57,410 --> 00:07:00,010
Speaker 1: you're pan or buy there is this thing in the

121
00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:03,490
Speaker 1: community where you're either a lesbian or you're a gay man.

122
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,410
Speaker 1: And I've always felt like I shouldn't be here unless

123
00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:10,890
Speaker 1: I'm with somebody. So at the meetup, I looked amazing,

124
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,210
Speaker 1: I've still got the this this a little pink thing

125
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:17,250
Speaker 1: that I got a second hand shot with heels. I

126
00:07:17,290 --> 00:07:21,330
Speaker 1: was very f a fembabe. So I had a big,

127
00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:25,250
Speaker 1: big table and there was three people sat down and

128
00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:27,690
Speaker 1: because I had booked it, and they said, can we

129
00:07:27,730 --> 00:07:30,890
Speaker 1: sit down now? One of them was Jay. Now Jay

130
00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:33,810
Speaker 1: got a lot of attention from all the women on

131
00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:37,410
Speaker 1: the table. Very good looking, I guess, a mask presenting

132
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:43,290
Speaker 1: lesbian and blonde hair, very short men's clothing, very hot

133
00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:46,570
Speaker 1: and in that kind of context, yeah, that everyone's going

134
00:07:46,690 --> 00:07:51,010
Speaker 1: to go wow because masks presenting lesbians, well, for me anyway,

135
00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:54,490
Speaker 1: very attractive and everyone else thought so as well. She

136
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:58,010
Speaker 1: was with her two mates, two gay boys, and they

137
00:07:58,050 --> 00:07:59,970
Speaker 1: were very friendly and funny. So it was a really

138
00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:03,690
Speaker 1: nice group of gay people that decided to sit down

139
00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:07,170
Speaker 1: with this group of women. They kind of zoned in

140
00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:10,850
Speaker 1: on me, even though there were other women trying and

141
00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:13,290
Speaker 1: she was getting annoy with these other women, but she

142
00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,570
Speaker 1: had eyes on me and she said, well what are

143
00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,770
Speaker 1: you and that she just said it like that, and

144
00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:22,250
Speaker 1: I'll never forget it because I remember going what and

145
00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:25,650
Speaker 1: I said, well, I'm queer, and then she goes, well,

146
00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:29,050
Speaker 1: there's no such thing. You're either a lesbian or you're not.

147
00:08:29,650 --> 00:08:32,770
Speaker 1: And then I, being me, went well, no, there's queer,

148
00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:37,410
Speaker 1: and there's like that's not true, and that took her fancy.

149
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,170
Speaker 1: That was a thing that ignited her interest to.

150
00:08:40,170 --> 00:08:43,170
Speaker 2: Me, and the interest very much went both ways.

151
00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:46,930
Speaker 1: I was attracted to them. They were very attractive. Then

152
00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:49,410
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, she's sitting beside me with her

153
00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:53,690
Speaker 1: hand on my lap, and I'm like, okay, and I

154
00:08:53,970 --> 00:08:57,850
Speaker 1: must have been flattered. I'm not like normal people where

155
00:08:57,890 --> 00:09:00,530
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, they like me, and I don't

156
00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:03,410
Speaker 1: even always get shot by that, to be honest, So

157
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:06,330
Speaker 1: but I went, okay, yeah, well they like me, and

158
00:09:06,370 --> 00:09:09,530
Speaker 1: it was flirty, so okay, that's fine. And I really

159
00:09:09,610 --> 00:09:12,610
Speaker 1: liked her friends. Her too gay friends were so nice

160
00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:14,490
Speaker 1: and funny, and I did feel like, oh, this is

161
00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:17,890
Speaker 1: exciting gay people because I really want to connect with

162
00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:22,210
Speaker 1: the gay community, right, So then she gave me her number,

163
00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:25,530
Speaker 1: and then I gave her mind, and then I left,

164
00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:28,290
Speaker 1: and then I didn't hadn't even walked out, and they

165
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,050
Speaker 1: texted me, oh, I bet you don't like me, and

166
00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:32,690
Speaker 1: I bet you're never going to contact me again. Now

167
00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:34,970
Speaker 1: my thing was like a bit annoyed, like, of course

168
00:09:35,010 --> 00:09:38,450
Speaker 1: I'm going to contact you again, But I obviously liked

169
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:41,890
Speaker 1: it because I knew they were attractive. I knew that

170
00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:44,370
Speaker 1: I felt I wanted to be part of the crew.

171
00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:47,850
Speaker 1: I was more interested in her like the crew, the

172
00:09:47,930 --> 00:09:50,770
Speaker 1: three of them. I remember that. I remember being excited, Oh,

173
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:52,530
Speaker 1: I'm going to be part of the gay community. This

174
00:09:52,610 --> 00:09:56,290
Speaker 1: is what I want. And then suddenly we started getting

175
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,970
Speaker 1: into the flirting and the and it sort of went

176
00:09:59,010 --> 00:09:59,410
Speaker 1: from there.

177
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:02,410
Speaker 2: Sasha was brand new in this city and suddenly, for

178
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:04,930
Speaker 2: the first time in a long time, they'd begun to

179
00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:09,490
Speaker 2: feel accepted, wanted and excited. And it moved really quickly.

180
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:11,490
Speaker 1: I met her on a Saturday, and then the next

181
00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:14,450
Speaker 1: I know, I meet her on the Tuesday. And she's

182
00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:18,370
Speaker 1: a business person. She's got a like a car that

183
00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:21,690
Speaker 1: business people drive, like a very nice car, everything that

184
00:10:21,730 --> 00:10:25,170
Speaker 1: I don't have. I'm definitely have none of those things.

185
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:27,570
Speaker 1: And they rock up and the first thing they do

186
00:10:27,650 --> 00:10:30,490
Speaker 1: were in the car and they drove me to go

187
00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:33,090
Speaker 1: on a date and have a meal, and they just

188
00:10:33,170 --> 00:10:36,290
Speaker 1: kissed me. That's not how I saw what was going

189
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:40,290
Speaker 1: to happen. But the thing is with Jay is that

190
00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:44,730
Speaker 1: they really are someone that they're very not forceful in

191
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:48,330
Speaker 1: an aggressive way. They're very charming, but they work very quickly.

192
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,890
Speaker 1: I have met that kind of person in the gay community,

193
00:10:52,130 --> 00:10:56,450
Speaker 1: someone that's just talking a lot and moving very quickly.

194
00:10:57,410 --> 00:11:01,090
Speaker 1: It's all very dramatic. They didn't want the date to end,

195
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:03,370
Speaker 1: and me being me, I'm going, oh, I'm tired now,

196
00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:05,370
Speaker 1: I want to go home. That I know, let's do

197
00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:08,050
Speaker 1: this and let's do that. I don't know how I felt.

198
00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:12,170
Speaker 1: I must have liked them because I obviously kept hanging out.

199
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:15,650
Speaker 1: I was very lonely, and also I hadn't been in

200
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:18,810
Speaker 1: a car for a long time or driven around. I

201
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:22,090
Speaker 1: really liked that. There were things I definitely like, oh,

202
00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:25,330
Speaker 1: this is nice, levels of comfort that I'd forgotten about.

203
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:29,770
Speaker 1: I wasn't really thinking anything. I had no expectations because

204
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:32,890
Speaker 1: I had so many weird adventures. My life had been

205
00:11:32,930 --> 00:11:35,930
Speaker 1: one weird adventure, like I was in such a strange

206
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:40,290
Speaker 1: no person's land for such a long time. Most people

207
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:43,690
Speaker 1: have lived like, you know, maybe there's some little disruptions

208
00:11:43,690 --> 00:11:46,450
Speaker 1: in the life. My life was one big disruption mentally,

209
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:50,330
Speaker 1: I'd been struggling with my mental health. So maybe I

210
00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:52,810
Speaker 1: felt flattered too, because they made me feel quite pretty.

211
00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:55,330
Speaker 1: And I did feel at that time I was really

212
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:58,210
Speaker 1: good looking, Like I really believed it, and I thought,

213
00:11:58,570 --> 00:12:01,810
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it made me feel good about myself physically,

214
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:04,290
Speaker 1: and I think that's important, and they definitely made me

215
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:07,290
Speaker 1: feel pretty good. And also, when I think about it,

216
00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:10,090
Speaker 1: they chose me out of a big group of attractive women,

217
00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:13,370
Speaker 1: so yeah, they must have been really making me feel

218
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:14,290
Speaker 1: good about myself.

219
00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:16,370
Speaker 2: There was part of it that made sash I feel

220
00:12:16,410 --> 00:12:20,090
Speaker 2: a little uncomfortable, but they pushed it down. This woman

221
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:23,530
Speaker 2: was great and interested. They didn't want to sabotage it.

222
00:12:23,890 --> 00:12:27,410
Speaker 1: There was another side of me going, ah, this is

223
00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:32,010
Speaker 1: going very quickly, and this person's moving so fast, and

224
00:12:32,050 --> 00:12:35,090
Speaker 1: I'm finding it a little bit overwhelming, but let's see

225
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:38,250
Speaker 1: what happens. So then I think maybe a week or

226
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:40,530
Speaker 1: two weeks into it, we went to Cans because why not.

227
00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:44,730
Speaker 1: And I think it was me who actually went, but

228
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:48,090
Speaker 1: I didn't mean it. I was just like, oh, let's go,

229
00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:50,930
Speaker 1: and wouldn't be great if we did this. I was

230
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,450
Speaker 1: not thinking, I'm a thinking, oh, yeah, we're going to

231
00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:55,890
Speaker 1: do that. I hadn't been on a trip for ten years.

232
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,570
Speaker 1: It's just me going, oh, wouldn't that be nice? You know, daydreaming,

233
00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:01,450
Speaker 1: you know, when you're flirting with people and you make

234
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,410
Speaker 1: up little I wouldn't it be nice to do this

235
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:07,650
Speaker 1: and that and something? It's happening and they're making it happen,

236
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:09,850
Speaker 1: and it's happening really quickly, and I'm going, oh, wait

237
00:13:09,850 --> 00:13:12,570
Speaker 1: a minute, I have no money. No I can't, and

238
00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:15,330
Speaker 1: now I'll pay for everything, and I'm like, oh, I

239
00:13:15,450 --> 00:13:18,850
Speaker 1: don't feel very comfortable with that. But and then it

240
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:21,290
Speaker 1: was like a well, camp so we're going into this

241
00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:24,490
Speaker 1: whole negotiation thing, and I'm like, okay, camping's fine. So

242
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:26,570
Speaker 1: in the end, we went on a bloody road trip

243
00:13:27,010 --> 00:13:30,730
Speaker 1: to Cans. We all know that Cans road trip doesn't

244
00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:33,570
Speaker 1: matter where you're coming from, it's you're in the car

245
00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:38,410
Speaker 1: for a long time. So we went, and I must

246
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:41,850
Speaker 1: admit it was a really good trip. It was around

247
00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:43,770
Speaker 1: New Year's so it must have been really quick. I

248
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:47,810
Speaker 1: met them December the seventeenth, and suddenly New Year's I'm

249
00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:50,690
Speaker 1: there meeting her mate. So we stayed at a mate's place.

250
00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:53,170
Speaker 1: So they were good like that. They made sure that

251
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,090
Speaker 1: I wasn't put into a financial I could pay a

252
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:59,490
Speaker 1: camping site thing and I could contribute because I said

253
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:02,090
Speaker 1: to them, look, I'm not a business person. I'm on

254
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:05,130
Speaker 1: a very low income and I don't like people paying

255
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,330
Speaker 1: for me. But they're like, oh, but that's how we

256
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:10,210
Speaker 1: show our love, and I'm like, you're just I just

257
00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:14,490
Speaker 1: don't feel comfortable, and oh, but you deserve nice things,

258
00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:17,090
Speaker 1: and I thinking, but I have nice things, Like I

259
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,050
Speaker 1: go to a knop shop and I buy my you know,

260
00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:22,010
Speaker 1: I've got my life where exactly it gives me what

261
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:24,850
Speaker 1: I need? Anyway, So we go to Cannes. We end

262
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:29,250
Speaker 1: up at this New Year's party. I looked amazing. I

263
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:35,370
Speaker 1: was all like tanned, a long hair, sexy dress. They're

264
00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:37,970
Speaker 1: they're being really like arm around me, making sure I'm

265
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:41,810
Speaker 1: not going too far. But this one, very very queer person,

266
00:14:41,970 --> 00:14:44,330
Speaker 1: very creative person. He's going, you want to get away

267
00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:46,770
Speaker 1: from them, you don't want to be with them. He

268
00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:51,450
Speaker 1: followed me all night. He's going that person is a

269
00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:53,530
Speaker 1: moneyed person and they're going to want to control you.

270
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:57,490
Speaker 1: And it's like this angel and they're finally like, you

271
00:14:57,610 --> 00:15:00,650
Speaker 1: have to leave, you're too beautiful, and he's going to

272
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:04,130
Speaker 1: this person will control you. They just want to use you.

273
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,690
Speaker 1: And they ended up getting to the point where she

274
00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:09,610
Speaker 1: got into a huge argument with him. I remember thinking

275
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:12,210
Speaker 1: it was very weird. He was gay. He was a

276
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:16,810
Speaker 1: gay man, Like it wasn't about that's why my Oh no,

277
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:18,890
Speaker 1: it was weird.

278
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:21,450
Speaker 2: This guy didn't even know Jay, he'd only met them

279
00:15:21,490 --> 00:15:25,170
Speaker 2: that night, but Sasha pushed it aside. They really liked

280
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:26,850
Speaker 2: Jay and this was going well.

281
00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:30,930
Speaker 1: She said, I'm so obsessed with you. You don't understand

282
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,770
Speaker 1: how obsessed I am with you. I just don't know

283
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:38,170
Speaker 1: what it is about you. I was pretty impressed with her.

284
00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:41,050
Speaker 1: I actually had a lot of respect for them, and

285
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:44,090
Speaker 1: they were sexy, like I really found them very attractive.

286
00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:45,970
Speaker 1: But I must have met I wasn't thinking, oh, yeah,

287
00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:48,970
Speaker 1: I'm gonna live with this person forever. I really was

288
00:15:49,050 --> 00:15:50,970
Speaker 1: thinking more like this is just an adventure.

289
00:15:52,890 --> 00:15:56,450
Speaker 2: But soon that changed because as they spent more time together,

290
00:15:56,770 --> 00:15:59,690
Speaker 2: they realized it wasn't really feasible when Sasha was living

291
00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:02,130
Speaker 2: in someone else's house who didn't like visitors.

292
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:06,610
Speaker 1: They didn't like the fact that they couldn't come to

293
00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:10,730
Speaker 1: my place. They owned a house. They lived upstairs with

294
00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:15,290
Speaker 1: their mum and downstairs was like a unit, and they

295
00:16:15,370 --> 00:16:17,170
Speaker 1: just said, well, why don't I rent that out to you?

296
00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:22,170
Speaker 1: And I guess I just did it without thinking, yeah,

297
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:26,730
Speaker 1: I just did it. I think there was deep anxiety

298
00:16:26,810 --> 00:16:30,610
Speaker 1: around homelessness and maybe a hope that this could be

299
00:16:31,050 --> 00:16:33,210
Speaker 1: I could you know, I mean I don't think I

300
00:16:33,370 --> 00:16:36,250
Speaker 1: was like thinking manipulative or anything like that. I was

301
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,890
Speaker 1: all very much like just doing what felt right at

302
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:41,770
Speaker 1: the moment without actually thinking. I was so used to

303
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:44,810
Speaker 1: you hauling my first relationship, we moved really quickly, I'd

304
00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:47,930
Speaker 1: actually moved into state, and there is that thing, Oh,

305
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,370
Speaker 1: this is just normal, this is just what we do.

306
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:54,170
Speaker 1: I really wasn't questioning any of it. It's just that's

307
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,650
Speaker 1: what gay would they do. It's meant to be like this.

308
00:16:57,610 --> 00:17:00,410
Speaker 1: So the thing is like, you know, tell us a

309
00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:02,450
Speaker 1: story of the lead up of how you got married,

310
00:17:02,530 --> 00:17:04,890
Speaker 1: and then the joke is, well, there is no lead

311
00:17:04,970 --> 00:17:07,570
Speaker 1: up because we met, we dated, we had a really

312
00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:10,650
Speaker 1: long date. Usually the date might last two days. You know,

313
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,770
Speaker 1: there's that joke, and then we moved in with each

314
00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:16,410
Speaker 1: other and we've been married since and that's it. And

315
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:21,810
Speaker 1: that's kind of the lesbian bisexual, the queer woman fantasy.

316
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:24,690
Speaker 1: It's not like we talk about that because it's always

317
00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:27,850
Speaker 1: the lesbian eu hall. That's what we all joke about.

318
00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:31,050
Speaker 1: And falling in love really quickly, crushing really quickly, the

319
00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:33,770
Speaker 1: awkwardness of it sometimes it can be a bit high

320
00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:35,330
Speaker 1: school and the best way possible.

321
00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:38,490
Speaker 2: So they packed the U haul and Sasha moved in

322
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:39,850
Speaker 2: with Jay and her mum.

323
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:43,450
Speaker 1: I was excited. It was not just the relationship with

324
00:17:43,570 --> 00:17:47,730
Speaker 1: her or her friends, her family. She had a huge family.

325
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:49,610
Speaker 1: They were the things that we were really so I

326
00:17:49,850 --> 00:17:52,690
Speaker 1: was excited, and I guess I moved in and also

327
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:55,570
Speaker 1: I thought, well, here's a roof over my head. But

328
00:17:55,730 --> 00:17:58,650
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden it got Yeah, it just

329
00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:04,930
Speaker 1: the honeymoon period just finished. As soon as I moved in,

330
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:08,690
Speaker 1: her grandmother died. So that was the end pretty much

331
00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:11,170
Speaker 1: of our intimate life. Right at the beginning, we had

332
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:15,570
Speaker 1: this full on intimacy. And then I think I moved

333
00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:17,690
Speaker 1: in with her maybe four weeks after I'd met her,

334
00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:21,890
Speaker 1: and that was the end. She started to change. Suddenly

335
00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:25,690
Speaker 1: we're caught up with the grief because also she was grieving.

336
00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:29,890
Speaker 1: She had just broken up with a girlfriend of six

337
00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:34,090
Speaker 1: years and that was very, very messy. So there was

338
00:18:34,290 --> 00:18:36,690
Speaker 1: that so that everyone was still talking about that because

339
00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:39,730
Speaker 1: it was so recent, so the ghost of her ex

340
00:18:40,050 --> 00:18:43,330
Speaker 1: was there. But hey, that's another lesbian trope. There's always

341
00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:47,290
Speaker 1: a third person, there's always an next girlfriend. Yeah, so

342
00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:50,170
Speaker 1: I kind of wasn't really too shocked because every woman

343
00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:52,450
Speaker 1: that I've even had a fling with I think. I

344
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:54,290
Speaker 1: remember I woke up once and there was a woman

345
00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:56,810
Speaker 1: sitting at the end of the you know it's always

346
00:18:57,130 --> 00:19:01,050
Speaker 1: you know whatever, but I remember it being really heavy.

347
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,650
Speaker 1: When I moved in, she started making comments. You go, Okay,

348
00:19:04,690 --> 00:19:07,610
Speaker 1: how many men have you start with? And that made

349
00:19:07,650 --> 00:19:11,290
Speaker 1: me feel so ashamed. She'd be like, oh, how many

350
00:19:11,370 --> 00:19:13,770
Speaker 1: men if you slept with? And I'm like, this is

351
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:15,650
Speaker 1: making me feel really bad, and she go, I just

352
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:18,410
Speaker 1: don't know if I can, you know, compete with all

353
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:21,810
Speaker 1: those men, and You've got so much more experience than me.

354
00:19:21,930 --> 00:19:26,090
Speaker 1: And I went into the shame like I just lost.

355
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:29,210
Speaker 1: I think that I lost complete interests in sex.

356
00:19:31,530 --> 00:19:33,770
Speaker 2: So if sex was off the table at this stage

357
00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:36,570
Speaker 2: in their relationship, all they really had to do was talk.

358
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:40,530
Speaker 1: But the thing is with Jay, they don't talk, and

359
00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:42,690
Speaker 1: that I think is when I trauma bonded with her,

360
00:19:42,730 --> 00:19:46,130
Speaker 1: because that's when I didn't find out about any of

361
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:49,970
Speaker 1: her past from her. They never spoke about their past.

362
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:52,250
Speaker 1: The only thing they ever talked about was their business,

363
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,850
Speaker 1: and that was it and how much money. The first

364
00:19:54,850 --> 00:19:56,410
Speaker 1: thing they do in the morning is I'd look at

365
00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:58,410
Speaker 1: their fine how much money they had in their account

366
00:19:58,450 --> 00:20:01,490
Speaker 1: and work. So they were very very business and money

367
00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:04,330
Speaker 1: focused and also buying stuff. The only thing they ever

368
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:07,010
Speaker 1: talked about was things they were going to buy. And

369
00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:10,690
Speaker 1: I must admit, yeah, very boring, no interest at all

370
00:20:10,770 --> 00:20:15,530
Speaker 1: in politics, interest in anything deep. But her mother was different.

371
00:20:15,610 --> 00:20:18,890
Speaker 1: Her mother definitely loved talking about the past and it

372
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:21,970
Speaker 1: was very traumatic. And I would just get stuck with

373
00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:26,210
Speaker 1: these conversations with her mother about really really traumatic, distressing

374
00:20:26,290 --> 00:20:30,330
Speaker 1: conversations that even Jay didn't know about. Because I'd go

375
00:20:30,450 --> 00:20:32,530
Speaker 1: back and go, I'm like, God, your mom's just told

376
00:20:32,570 --> 00:20:34,770
Speaker 1: me all that. All I could see was the little

377
00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:37,570
Speaker 1: girl in this person. And then that's when I started

378
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,330
Speaker 1: to see more of that person, that little girl. So

379
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:45,330
Speaker 1: suddenly Jay's sick all the time. They were sick all

380
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:48,690
Speaker 1: the time with ulcers, and I'm like, yeah, that's because

381
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:51,730
Speaker 1: you need to go see a psychologist. But they're like no, no, no,

382
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:54,810
Speaker 1: no no. And then I guess that's where I started

383
00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:57,250
Speaker 1: become like I helped. I mean, here I am this

384
00:20:57,370 --> 00:20:59,850
Speaker 1: new person I'm helping at the funeral, being the people

385
00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:02,610
Speaker 1: pleaser I am. And then we're meeting all her family

386
00:21:02,690 --> 00:21:06,570
Speaker 1: who don't like me. I think they're quite it's not me,

387
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:10,610
Speaker 1: but how they treated me, like the silent treatment her

388
00:21:10,690 --> 00:21:15,330
Speaker 1: auntie had intellectually disabled son. And I said, oh, I'm

389
00:21:15,770 --> 00:21:19,970
Speaker 1: Jay's girlfriend, and I got told off like he doesn't

390
00:21:20,010 --> 00:21:22,570
Speaker 1: have capacity to understand that you're just a friend. And

391
00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,730
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, wait a minute, what's going on here?

392
00:21:26,330 --> 00:21:29,890
Speaker 1: And it was a very straight, very I guess, let's

393
00:21:29,930 --> 00:21:33,290
Speaker 1: just say country folk. But I was being dumped on

394
00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:36,290
Speaker 1: and dumped on her mother just and I just was

395
00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:39,610
Speaker 1: getting quieter and quiet and quieter, and I think the

396
00:21:39,730 --> 00:21:44,250
Speaker 1: sex was going downhill. Jay was beginning to just close.

397
00:21:44,610 --> 00:21:48,370
Speaker 1: They were totally ill and stressed and upset, and so

398
00:21:48,490 --> 00:21:49,770
Speaker 1: there was no romance.

399
00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:52,770
Speaker 2: This early in a relationship, it's pretty easy to just

400
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:56,450
Speaker 2: say whoa, Okay, this is not for me, right, That's

401
00:21:56,490 --> 00:21:57,410
Speaker 2: what Sasha thought too.

402
00:21:57,770 --> 00:21:59,810
Speaker 1: I made a run for it. I actually packed my

403
00:21:59,890 --> 00:22:02,850
Speaker 1: bag and left because I remember saying to her in

404
00:22:02,970 --> 00:22:05,450
Speaker 1: the car, I can't do this anymore. I'm having a

405
00:22:05,530 --> 00:22:09,090
Speaker 1: breakdown now. At this time, I didn't have a psychologist either.

406
00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:13,250
Speaker 1: I didn't have any support own mental health supports, and

407
00:22:13,370 --> 00:22:15,330
Speaker 1: also where I moved it was an hour from the

408
00:22:15,410 --> 00:22:19,450
Speaker 1: city I was working, but as a low paid Jay

409
00:22:19,650 --> 00:22:23,730
Speaker 1: was raking in like they're a business owner, raking in

410
00:22:24,290 --> 00:22:27,090
Speaker 1: like I don't know a lot of money, more money

411
00:22:27,130 --> 00:22:29,290
Speaker 1: than I could ever even. Let's just say they saved

412
00:22:29,330 --> 00:22:32,050
Speaker 1: one hundred and forty K in six months. That kind

413
00:22:32,130 --> 00:22:35,770
Speaker 1: of money. So suddenly I'm working full time and I'm

414
00:22:35,850 --> 00:22:39,010
Speaker 1: traveling an hour each way, and I'm just going, what

415
00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:43,130
Speaker 1: happened to you? And I'm getting putting on weight that

416
00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:46,610
Speaker 1: this is all happening really really quickly, and I'm thinking, oh,

417
00:22:46,850 --> 00:22:51,290
Speaker 1: I'm trapped. I just basically pat my bag and ran

418
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,650
Speaker 1: for it and went to a boarding house because I'd said, look,

419
00:22:53,650 --> 00:22:55,210
Speaker 1: I think i'd rather live on my own. I'd rather

420
00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:58,490
Speaker 1: live on my own. I said, I'm used to boarding houses.

421
00:22:58,650 --> 00:23:00,810
Speaker 1: There's a lot and where I was, So I'm gonna

422
00:23:00,850 --> 00:23:05,330
Speaker 1: go and do that. And I did, and then they followed, Yeah,

423
00:23:05,450 --> 00:23:07,370
Speaker 1: she came after me. She didn't want to lose me.

424
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:10,050
Speaker 1: So I just said, I can't live with your mum.

425
00:23:10,610 --> 00:23:15,490
Speaker 1: I want my own place. And they said, okay, why

426
00:23:15,530 --> 00:23:17,490
Speaker 1: don't we rent a place? And I said, well, it's

427
00:23:17,490 --> 00:23:20,370
Speaker 1: going to be fifty to fifty and we did. That's

428
00:23:20,410 --> 00:23:23,850
Speaker 1: what we ended up doing. I didn't really feel like

429
00:23:23,930 --> 00:23:26,130
Speaker 1: I had a choice because where else was I going

430
00:23:26,210 --> 00:23:29,650
Speaker 1: to go? And I saw obviously was invested in the

431
00:23:30,050 --> 00:23:33,770
Speaker 1: relationship and with her as well. I really adored her.

432
00:23:33,970 --> 00:23:37,170
Speaker 1: I mean, I adored the little girl. I mean obviously

433
00:23:37,210 --> 00:23:40,850
Speaker 1: I understood where she came from. Now. She was charming

434
00:23:40,930 --> 00:23:43,570
Speaker 1: and funny, and she had a dog. We loved animals.

435
00:23:43,650 --> 00:23:46,090
Speaker 1: The thing that connected us for animals and looking after

436
00:23:46,170 --> 00:23:50,490
Speaker 1: the animals. I liked her friends, and when we started

437
00:23:50,650 --> 00:23:54,810
Speaker 1: just sharing, it was fine, and then I felt much

438
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:58,850
Speaker 1: more relaxed. So for a period of time while I

439
00:23:59,010 --> 00:24:03,330
Speaker 1: was working, everything was fine. We just lived in that

440
00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:06,010
Speaker 1: little bubble and I kind of did like it because

441
00:24:06,010 --> 00:24:08,970
Speaker 1: I felt protected and I finally felt like, oh, I've

442
00:24:09,010 --> 00:24:12,290
Speaker 1: made the queer community. It finally accepted me. I did

443
00:24:12,370 --> 00:24:16,130
Speaker 1: feel really good being with her. I did adore them

444
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:16,690
Speaker 1: very much.

445
00:24:17,090 --> 00:24:20,170
Speaker 2: For two years, things were good. Sasha loved being part

446
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:23,130
Speaker 2: of Jay's world and feeling comfortable in the queer community.

447
00:24:23,530 --> 00:24:26,050
Speaker 2: They shared everything fifty to fifty and had put good

448
00:24:26,130 --> 00:24:29,250
Speaker 2: boundaries in place around Jay's family and what they could handle.

449
00:24:29,530 --> 00:24:33,050
Speaker 1: We did not have drama, But where we did have

450
00:24:33,250 --> 00:24:36,850
Speaker 1: drama was that she's tried to push like so, for example,

451
00:24:37,050 --> 00:24:39,330
Speaker 1: she went away for a month, she went to Greece

452
00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:41,890
Speaker 1: and Italy. Now she was good about that. She knew

453
00:24:41,890 --> 00:24:44,250
Speaker 1: I couldn't afford it. I didn't want to go, and

454
00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:48,210
Speaker 1: I hate being stuck with a whole bunch of drunk people.

455
00:24:48,490 --> 00:24:49,930
Speaker 1: So I'm like, no, I'm not too. I'm also had

456
00:24:50,130 --> 00:24:51,210
Speaker 1: where am I going to get the money for that?

457
00:24:52,090 --> 00:24:55,130
Speaker 1: And I'm still paying my rent. I'm making sure everything

458
00:24:55,290 --> 00:24:57,330
Speaker 1: is fifty to fifty. But if they want to go

459
00:24:57,490 --> 00:25:00,210
Speaker 1: off and do those things, they do it on their own.

460
00:25:00,810 --> 00:25:03,810
Speaker 1: So during that time, I wanted to go to meetups

461
00:25:04,050 --> 00:25:05,810
Speaker 1: and I would say, I really want to get a

462
00:25:05,930 --> 00:25:08,890
Speaker 1: lesbian network. I want to meet more lesbians and like,

463
00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:12,010
Speaker 1: oh no, if you do that, I'll lose you. And

464
00:25:12,090 --> 00:25:15,370
Speaker 1: I'm going, uh no, you're not. I'm going to assure

465
00:25:15,410 --> 00:25:17,930
Speaker 1: you with that. I said, I don't really think I'm

466
00:25:18,010 --> 00:25:21,010
Speaker 1: into that. I just want friendship, and also I don't cheat,

467
00:25:21,610 --> 00:25:25,130
Speaker 1: and she go, no, I just you know, I feel uncomfortable.

468
00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:27,010
Speaker 1: But then when we would go out, like we'd go

469
00:25:27,050 --> 00:25:30,570
Speaker 1: to the gay places women constantly. I had one woman

470
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:32,250
Speaker 1: and it was Halloween. She only had like all this

471
00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:34,930
Speaker 1: black lingerie do a sexy dance in front of her.

472
00:25:35,650 --> 00:25:38,490
Speaker 1: Now she'd be embarrassed. She'd actually say, can you come

473
00:25:38,530 --> 00:25:40,810
Speaker 1: to the toilet with me? Because I'd have to fend

474
00:25:40,850 --> 00:25:45,170
Speaker 1: off all these but I'd be laughing because I'm forty eight.

475
00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:50,290
Speaker 1: I don't think it's really worthy of getting upset about it.

476
00:25:50,490 --> 00:25:53,930
Speaker 1: But they hated it, so that was a no go.

477
00:25:54,050 --> 00:25:56,290
Speaker 1: I wasn't allowed, so I was getting more more isolated.

478
00:25:56,770 --> 00:26:00,090
Speaker 1: So she went overseas. She comes back, and then all

479
00:26:00,090 --> 00:26:02,450
Speaker 1: of a sudden, that's when things started to get really

480
00:26:02,490 --> 00:26:05,450
Speaker 1: scary because she's like, I want to buy another house,

481
00:26:06,410 --> 00:26:09,930
Speaker 1: and this is before COVID, so twenty nineteen, and suddenly

482
00:26:10,010 --> 00:26:12,650
Speaker 1: she's in the car and changing a lot. I put

483
00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:15,250
Speaker 1: on thirty kilos. I'm no longer going to the gym.

484
00:26:16,090 --> 00:26:19,810
Speaker 1: I'm very unhappy at work. I'm not coping. Works hard.

485
00:26:20,250 --> 00:26:22,930
Speaker 1: I was getting in trouble because my face doesn't match

486
00:26:23,010 --> 00:26:27,010
Speaker 1: my actions. I asked for disability adjustments, and then I

487
00:26:27,090 --> 00:26:30,610
Speaker 1: got fired from my contract. It was very, very stressful.

488
00:26:30,730 --> 00:26:35,530
Speaker 1: So then I did get a psychologist and they're like, going, oh,

489
00:26:35,810 --> 00:26:38,410
Speaker 1: well you know you sure you know I don't see it,

490
00:26:38,810 --> 00:26:40,690
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, I know I have to start

491
00:26:40,770 --> 00:26:42,890
Speaker 1: addressing my mental illness. And I said, look, can we

492
00:26:42,930 --> 00:26:45,010
Speaker 1: go and see someone so we can talk about my

493
00:26:45,050 --> 00:26:47,130
Speaker 1: mental health and how we can help manage it. And

494
00:26:47,290 --> 00:26:50,290
Speaker 1: they're like, I'd book something and they go, oh, that's

495
00:26:50,290 --> 00:26:52,170
Speaker 1: a woman. I don't want to see a woman book

496
00:26:52,170 --> 00:26:55,250
Speaker 1: another one. Oh I don't have time for that. Three

497
00:26:55,330 --> 00:26:59,730
Speaker 1: times I tried, and I'm the one struggling with no support.

498
00:26:59,850 --> 00:27:02,290
Speaker 1: I had no friends. My whole life was her and

499
00:27:02,410 --> 00:27:06,850
Speaker 1: her friends. She's lovable, she's really good at making friends.

500
00:27:06,970 --> 00:27:07,210
Speaker 1: I'm not.

501
00:27:08,010 --> 00:27:10,650
Speaker 2: And Sasha started to notice some things around this time,

502
00:27:11,210 --> 00:27:13,610
Speaker 2: things I would say too, and about.

503
00:27:13,410 --> 00:27:15,970
Speaker 1: Them, she'd say things like she'd always get, aren't you

504
00:27:16,290 --> 00:27:19,250
Speaker 1: glad you're not in a boarding house anymore? So you

505
00:27:19,290 --> 00:27:22,850
Speaker 1: couldn't afford this if I wasn't around, And she was right.

506
00:27:23,650 --> 00:27:27,930
Speaker 1: I was scared of homelessness. I was really scared of it, petrified.

507
00:27:28,090 --> 00:27:31,770
Speaker 1: I was so terrified, and I wasn't building any connections.

508
00:27:31,810 --> 00:27:35,130
Speaker 1: So Weirdly, even though I was so excited, I'm like,

509
00:27:35,410 --> 00:27:38,210
Speaker 1: I'm not actually building a community here, I'm just getting

510
00:27:38,250 --> 00:27:40,730
Speaker 1: more and more isolated with all these wealthy gay people

511
00:27:41,010 --> 00:27:43,770
Speaker 1: who I don't have anything in common with. I looked

512
00:27:43,850 --> 00:27:47,010
Speaker 1: after the house like even though I was working, because

513
00:27:47,050 --> 00:27:50,090
Speaker 1: I wasn't a business person earning thousands of dollars a

514
00:27:50,170 --> 00:27:52,850
Speaker 1: week or whatever. I ended up being the housekeeper. And

515
00:27:52,930 --> 00:27:55,530
Speaker 1: I'm like, I didn't go to union and study women's studies.

516
00:27:55,530 --> 00:27:58,490
Speaker 1: I'm a queer, so I can be a housewife. And

517
00:27:59,810 --> 00:28:02,290
Speaker 1: I don't know. They'd winge about how I cooked food. Well,

518
00:28:02,330 --> 00:28:04,330
Speaker 1: you can cook for yourself. I actually I'm not cooking

519
00:28:04,370 --> 00:28:06,370
Speaker 1: for you. Like this is a stupid like there was

520
00:28:06,370 --> 00:28:09,650
Speaker 1: all this gender stuff. I was wearing clothes that were

521
00:28:09,810 --> 00:28:12,810
Speaker 1: very what a housewife would wear. She just always wanted

522
00:28:12,850 --> 00:28:14,730
Speaker 1: to put me in that housewife and I was like,

523
00:28:14,930 --> 00:28:17,690
Speaker 1: I'm not a housewife. I have a degree. And I said, oh,

524
00:28:17,730 --> 00:28:20,130
Speaker 1: you do know I have a degree, right, just because

525
00:28:20,130 --> 00:28:22,530
Speaker 1: I have a disability. It's not just the queer thing

526
00:28:22,610 --> 00:28:26,290
Speaker 1: that she's bullying. It's my disability. It's my weakness and

527
00:28:26,370 --> 00:28:28,810
Speaker 1: my vulnerability. Oh well, you're on a disability, so you

528
00:28:29,010 --> 00:28:31,810
Speaker 1: have to cook for me. I think around that time

529
00:28:31,970 --> 00:28:33,850
Speaker 1: she started to go, Okay, I want you to become

530
00:28:33,970 --> 00:28:35,970
Speaker 1: guaranteur on this house. And then I'm like, well, I

531
00:28:36,010 --> 00:28:39,490
Speaker 1: don't want to be a guaranteur. You have business loans.

532
00:28:39,530 --> 00:28:42,850
Speaker 1: She had so many business loans. She had so many businesses,

533
00:28:43,170 --> 00:28:46,290
Speaker 1: so many businesses, She even said, oh, I'd like you

534
00:28:46,450 --> 00:28:48,010
Speaker 1: to sign this and be a director, and I'm like,

535
00:28:48,010 --> 00:28:51,130
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. I said, wait a minute,

536
00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:53,530
Speaker 1: what if you die, I'm going to end up with

537
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,650
Speaker 1: your debt. And I don't want your debt. You know.

538
00:28:57,010 --> 00:29:00,250
Speaker 1: I don't have any money, you know, and I'm struggling myself.

539
00:29:00,690 --> 00:29:03,290
Speaker 1: But I didn't know what to do. But she's going, Okay,

540
00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:04,890
Speaker 1: we're going to buy a house. But we didn't sit down,

541
00:29:04,930 --> 00:29:06,370
Speaker 1: you know how couples will sit down. Ok, hey, do

542
00:29:06,410 --> 00:29:07,890
Speaker 1: you think it's time we bought a house? What do

543
00:29:07,970 --> 00:29:11,410
Speaker 1: you think about that? There was no discussion, it was

544
00:29:11,490 --> 00:29:14,290
Speaker 1: just happening. So she went overseas and then all of

545
00:29:14,370 --> 00:29:17,010
Speaker 1: a sudden, we're buying this house. And I'm like, wait

546
00:29:17,050 --> 00:29:19,970
Speaker 1: a minute. And she finally went, Okay, I know you

547
00:29:20,050 --> 00:29:23,130
Speaker 1: want to forever home. And I'm like, yeah, of course

548
00:29:23,170 --> 00:29:25,930
Speaker 1: I do. I've been homeless all my life. When I

549
00:29:26,010 --> 00:29:28,970
Speaker 1: met her, i'd lived twenty places. When I was with her,

550
00:29:29,010 --> 00:29:32,250
Speaker 1: I'd already moved I think five times. She goes, Okay,

551
00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:35,850
Speaker 1: this can be your place. I'll just you know, work here,

552
00:29:36,490 --> 00:29:38,850
Speaker 1: but you can rent it out. Because it was huge,

553
00:29:38,890 --> 00:29:41,490
Speaker 1: it had three stories. I had a granny flat downstairs,

554
00:29:41,570 --> 00:29:43,210
Speaker 1: and then it had the lund room, and then I

555
00:29:43,210 --> 00:29:46,530
Speaker 1: had two bedrooms upstairs. It was a big townhouse. She said,

556
00:29:46,530 --> 00:29:49,570
Speaker 1: I just want you to decorate it. So we got

557
00:29:49,850 --> 00:29:53,610
Speaker 1: through superannuation. You can get your disability insurance. So I

558
00:29:53,730 --> 00:29:58,490
Speaker 1: got a payout of like one hundred k. So she

559
00:29:59,530 --> 00:30:02,410
Speaker 1: was like, okay, well it can be your place. And

560
00:30:02,530 --> 00:30:06,050
Speaker 1: then she's like, oh, can you pay the rates? Can

561
00:30:06,130 --> 00:30:09,090
Speaker 1: you pay? I paid the mortgage six months in advance

562
00:30:09,970 --> 00:30:12,930
Speaker 1: because She's gone, I've done so much for you, and

563
00:30:12,970 --> 00:30:15,330
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, what have you done. I've always paid fifty

564
00:30:15,330 --> 00:30:17,810
Speaker 1: to fifty. I paid for the removalsts, I paid for

565
00:30:17,850 --> 00:30:21,330
Speaker 1: the cleaner. It was fifty to fifty. I looked through everything.

566
00:30:21,650 --> 00:30:25,450
Speaker 1: Suddenly I'm paying for her holiday. Suddenly all my money

567
00:30:25,570 --> 00:30:27,970
Speaker 1: is going on her. So I would follow her around

568
00:30:28,010 --> 00:30:30,170
Speaker 1: the house and could we please get a lawyer. I

569
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:33,170
Speaker 1: really want this in writing. But she said no, no, no,

570
00:30:33,330 --> 00:30:37,250
Speaker 1: you can trust me. I will never ever do bad

571
00:30:37,330 --> 00:30:39,650
Speaker 1: by you. I can't believe you don't trust me. I've

572
00:30:39,690 --> 00:30:42,570
Speaker 1: done so much for you. So I gave up in

573
00:30:42,650 --> 00:30:44,170
Speaker 1: the end with that, she refused.

574
00:30:46,170 --> 00:30:48,970
Speaker 2: Sasha knew this wasn't good, but they didn't know what

575
00:30:49,090 --> 00:30:52,450
Speaker 2: to do. Jay was promising them their dream home. They're

576
00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:56,090
Speaker 2: forever home, something they'd never had and wanted so badly.

577
00:30:56,570 --> 00:31:00,090
Speaker 1: Then everything escalated. Now I then went into fantasy land

578
00:31:00,690 --> 00:31:02,850
Speaker 1: because I've got a really good eye for design. I do.

579
00:31:03,210 --> 00:31:07,810
Speaker 1: I'm really really good. And I did all the four bathrooms,

580
00:31:08,370 --> 00:31:12,170
Speaker 1: a laundry, and a kitchen, and I I did all

581
00:31:12,210 --> 00:31:15,090
Speaker 1: the like, all planned, all the tiling out budgeted, I

582
00:31:15,130 --> 00:31:18,050
Speaker 1: did a whole project plan like. This thing made me

583
00:31:18,090 --> 00:31:21,250
Speaker 1: feel so good about myself. It was definitely my house.

584
00:31:21,290 --> 00:31:24,450
Speaker 1: All the furniture, I bought everything. Oh look, I didn't

585
00:31:24,490 --> 00:31:26,970
Speaker 1: pay for all the She did pay for all the rhinos,

586
00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:29,250
Speaker 1: but I paid for the laundry. I mean, I was

587
00:31:29,290 --> 00:31:31,570
Speaker 1: spending money. I didn't like thinking this is going to

588
00:31:31,610 --> 00:31:34,450
Speaker 1: be my forever house, so all my money and I

589
00:31:34,770 --> 00:31:36,690
Speaker 1: haven't had this amount of money for a long time,

590
00:31:37,490 --> 00:31:39,650
Speaker 1: and I'm feeling pretty good. I'll look at me being,

591
00:31:40,170 --> 00:31:42,930
Speaker 1: you know, a raid owner. I'm not thinking, so everything's

592
00:31:43,010 --> 00:31:46,770
Speaker 1: just going into this house, and then it gets Then

593
00:31:47,050 --> 00:31:49,170
Speaker 1: suddenly I think April. She I think it was like

594
00:31:49,290 --> 00:31:51,450
Speaker 1: around the beginning of April. She goes, oh, my brother's

595
00:31:51,530 --> 00:31:55,210
Speaker 1: moving in, And I went, what And I'd never met

596
00:31:55,250 --> 00:31:58,970
Speaker 1: her brother. They hadn't talked for ten years. I'm like,

597
00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:02,690
Speaker 1: what who? Because she doesn't talk, she's never talked about him,

598
00:32:02,690 --> 00:32:03,970
Speaker 1: because she doesn't talk about anything.

599
00:32:04,850 --> 00:32:07,690
Speaker 2: But when she finally did start talking, she revealed her

600
00:32:07,730 --> 00:32:10,650
Speaker 2: brother had a brain tumor and needed full time care.

601
00:32:13,290 --> 00:32:16,090
Speaker 1: I was really scared of looking after someone who had

602
00:32:16,090 --> 00:32:20,610
Speaker 1: a brain tumor. That scared me. I felt very overwhelmed.

603
00:32:20,610 --> 00:32:23,730
Speaker 1: I felt so overwhelmed by that. I'm like, I can

604
00:32:23,810 --> 00:32:27,450
Speaker 1: barely look after myself. That was the expectation that I

605
00:32:27,490 --> 00:32:30,170
Speaker 1: would look after him. Yeah, she's going, that's your job.

606
00:32:31,010 --> 00:32:33,290
Speaker 1: That's your job to look after him. I would look

607
00:32:33,330 --> 00:32:37,130
Speaker 1: after your brother. I'm not in any state. I need

608
00:32:37,170 --> 00:32:39,770
Speaker 1: to look after myself. I'm sick at the moment, I'm

609
00:32:39,770 --> 00:32:43,570
Speaker 1: getting sicker. I need to be focused on, you know,

610
00:32:43,770 --> 00:32:46,770
Speaker 1: getting back on a disability pension. And also, I thought

611
00:32:46,850 --> 00:32:49,010
Speaker 1: I've just paid all this rent. I thought this was

612
00:32:49,090 --> 00:32:52,210
Speaker 1: my place, and we would fight. That's what all the fights,

613
00:32:52,450 --> 00:32:54,730
Speaker 1: and it was getting worse and worse, and I would like,

614
00:32:54,850 --> 00:32:58,490
Speaker 1: I knew so needy, like so I became I'm really

615
00:32:58,530 --> 00:33:01,730
Speaker 1: ashamed to say this, but I became that's abuse, you know,

616
00:33:01,770 --> 00:33:05,610
Speaker 1: I'm telling we're not communicating in any way that I tried.

617
00:33:06,850 --> 00:33:10,370
Speaker 1: That's not working. We're fighting in the car. This is happening.

618
00:33:10,930 --> 00:33:13,250
Speaker 1: I knew, and as I moved in, I went, I'm trapped.

619
00:33:14,090 --> 00:33:15,690
Speaker 1: I knew, I'm your trapped now.

620
00:33:16,730 --> 00:33:19,970
Speaker 2: Around this time, Sasha also started to explore their sexuality

621
00:33:20,050 --> 00:33:23,210
Speaker 2: and queen as further. They'd turned fifty, felt more set

622
00:33:23,290 --> 00:33:25,770
Speaker 2: up than they ever had before, and had a partner

623
00:33:25,850 --> 00:33:27,690
Speaker 2: they assumed would be supportive.

624
00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:30,410
Speaker 1: I went to a queer meetup and I was excited.

625
00:33:30,490 --> 00:33:32,690
Speaker 1: I'd finally made it. It takes a lot of work

626
00:33:32,770 --> 00:33:35,250
Speaker 1: for me to get out of the house. Already had

627
00:33:35,290 --> 00:33:37,730
Speaker 1: all these blocks, you know. And I went to the

628
00:33:37,770 --> 00:33:40,730
Speaker 1: book club was run by a kind of geeky lesbian

629
00:33:40,770 --> 00:33:45,290
Speaker 1: woman and whatever. And I got back and jas going,

630
00:33:45,410 --> 00:33:47,130
Speaker 1: I bet you liked them more than you like me.

631
00:33:47,730 --> 00:33:50,170
Speaker 1: So I never went again. That was the end of

632
00:33:50,210 --> 00:33:53,450
Speaker 1: the book club because I would feel so guilty. So

633
00:33:54,410 --> 00:33:57,450
Speaker 1: I just became more heterosexual in the relationship. I'll be honest,

634
00:33:57,770 --> 00:34:01,090
Speaker 1: I started to look more heterosexual. I just looked like

635
00:34:01,170 --> 00:34:07,090
Speaker 1: a fat, unhappy straight girl. But my psychologist isn't picking

636
00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:10,890
Speaker 1: it up. That's the weird thing. Like he's not picking

637
00:34:10,930 --> 00:34:12,570
Speaker 1: it up, I'm going and I'm going, look, I'm just

638
00:34:12,610 --> 00:34:15,210
Speaker 1: feel really overwhelmed. And now she wants me to move

639
00:34:15,250 --> 00:34:18,050
Speaker 1: in and she's trying to get my money, and he's

640
00:34:18,090 --> 00:34:20,170
Speaker 1: not stepping in and going, wait a minute, I'm going

641
00:34:20,250 --> 00:34:26,050
Speaker 1: to treis you? He said nothing, absolutely nothing. So January

642
00:34:26,410 --> 00:34:30,650
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, were invited to a New Year's party

643
00:34:31,650 --> 00:34:35,890
Speaker 1: and I wanted to wear brogues and Amend's outfit because

644
00:34:35,890 --> 00:34:37,930
Speaker 1: I'd been wanting now. Every time I brought up, look,

645
00:34:37,970 --> 00:34:40,610
Speaker 1: I think I'm queer, I think I'm non binary, she

646
00:34:40,690 --> 00:34:44,050
Speaker 1: would go, well, what's that? And that's an it. I

647
00:34:44,130 --> 00:34:47,370
Speaker 1: don't even understand what that means. What's this pronoun thing?

648
00:34:48,490 --> 00:34:50,890
Speaker 1: So a lot of it was just kind of gradually

649
00:34:51,050 --> 00:34:54,050
Speaker 1: making me feel really but I thought, no, I want

650
00:34:54,130 --> 00:34:56,730
Speaker 1: to go out to this thing. But also with now polish,

651
00:34:56,850 --> 00:34:59,730
Speaker 1: she liked a certain color and if I change, she'd go, oh,

652
00:34:59,770 --> 00:35:02,290
Speaker 1: I don't like that. And my hair always had to

653
00:35:02,330 --> 00:35:03,770
Speaker 1: be long because I'm like, I think I want to

654
00:35:04,170 --> 00:35:06,770
Speaker 1: cut on my hair off. It was quite long, and

655
00:35:07,050 --> 00:35:09,570
Speaker 1: see like, no, no, I wouldn't like that. So all

656
00:35:09,650 --> 00:35:12,410
Speaker 1: these things were happening and I'm going, okay, So I thought, no,

657
00:35:12,530 --> 00:35:16,770
Speaker 1: I want to wear a men's suit. Now, Jay wears

658
00:35:16,890 --> 00:35:19,290
Speaker 1: men's suits all the time. We went men shopping all

659
00:35:19,330 --> 00:35:21,490
Speaker 1: the time. I went men shopping for her all the time.

660
00:35:22,010 --> 00:35:24,090
Speaker 1: So I'm like, why can't I? She said, oh no,

661
00:35:24,210 --> 00:35:27,370
Speaker 1: the dress code is heels and a dress. And I went,

662
00:35:27,450 --> 00:35:29,130
Speaker 1: well that no, and she said no, no, no, no,

663
00:35:29,170 --> 00:35:32,250
Speaker 1: no you can't. She's again really really distressed, not angry

664
00:35:32,410 --> 00:35:36,210
Speaker 1: in it, just distressed, like very on a high pert.

665
00:35:36,410 --> 00:35:39,250
Speaker 1: No no, no, you can't like that, very You must

666
00:35:39,370 --> 00:35:41,450
Speaker 1: wear heels. And I said, I want to see the

667
00:35:41,530 --> 00:35:45,250
Speaker 1: dress code. So it's getting ridiculous. And then I said, no,

668
00:35:45,330 --> 00:35:47,170
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I'm queer. I'm allowed to wear what

669
00:35:47,250 --> 00:35:51,810
Speaker 1: I want. I remember saying that, don okay, But we fought.

670
00:35:51,930 --> 00:35:54,530
Speaker 1: We nearly didn't go, but we had to go, and

671
00:35:55,090 --> 00:35:57,130
Speaker 1: I ended up getting all these compliments. I ended up

672
00:35:57,650 --> 00:36:01,450
Speaker 1: wearing a pretty top top. I ended up mixing it up,

673
00:36:02,010 --> 00:36:04,450
Speaker 1: but I still wore my pants and my brogues. But

674
00:36:04,570 --> 00:36:07,450
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay. And then I started to contact an

675
00:36:07,850 --> 00:36:11,330
Speaker 1: organization called Switchboard, and that's when they were like, oh,

676
00:36:11,410 --> 00:36:18,290
Speaker 1: that's abuse. But I'm still going, really, this isn't to me.

677
00:36:18,370 --> 00:36:21,050
Speaker 1: It was like I was the aggressor I'm the one

678
00:36:21,090 --> 00:36:25,330
Speaker 1: who's Jay never yelled. They got intense, they got it

679
00:36:25,490 --> 00:36:28,610
Speaker 1: full on, but they were never aggressive ever.

680
00:36:29,370 --> 00:36:32,330
Speaker 2: But it made Sasha think. All the things Jay would

681
00:36:32,370 --> 00:36:34,250
Speaker 2: say to them about their role in the home and

682
00:36:34,290 --> 00:36:37,930
Speaker 2: the relationship, about money, the way she encouraged Sasha to

683
00:36:37,970 --> 00:36:40,890
Speaker 2: spend all their money to be tied to her, that

684
00:36:41,090 --> 00:36:41,610
Speaker 2: was abuse.

685
00:36:44,370 --> 00:36:47,650
Speaker 1: You just don't clock it because you clock everything within

686
00:36:48,090 --> 00:36:52,290
Speaker 1: how straight women are treated. Oh, they hit me. They're

687
00:36:52,370 --> 00:36:56,170
Speaker 1: yelling at me, like that's what men do. Like it's

688
00:36:56,290 --> 00:36:59,890
Speaker 1: different in same sex. It's a whole different complexity, and

689
00:36:59,930 --> 00:37:03,290
Speaker 1: there are different types of abuse. She's not looking after me.

690
00:37:04,330 --> 00:37:07,210
Speaker 1: She doesn't care about me at all, And I'm the

691
00:37:07,330 --> 00:37:09,890
Speaker 1: villain in this story and I can and my psychologist

692
00:37:09,970 --> 00:37:13,290
Speaker 1: isn't helping me. I don't think think that Jay's a

693
00:37:13,370 --> 00:37:16,450
Speaker 1: bad person. I think she's a very broken person. But

694
00:37:17,410 --> 00:37:19,650
Speaker 1: I just feel like no one's giving me any support.

695
00:37:19,810 --> 00:37:22,090
Speaker 1: The only support I'm getting of the phone calls I'm making,

696
00:37:22,570 --> 00:37:24,090
Speaker 1: and I'm going, oh, wait a minute, I think I

697
00:37:24,210 --> 00:37:27,290
Speaker 1: might be in something I don't understand. I was so

698
00:37:27,490 --> 00:37:31,650
Speaker 1: overweight and unhappy, I'd lost my looks. I knew that

699
00:37:31,770 --> 00:37:35,650
Speaker 1: I was losing control and I was actually worried that

700
00:37:35,770 --> 00:37:39,610
Speaker 1: she would call the police on me because I was screaming.

701
00:37:40,810 --> 00:37:44,490
Speaker 1: And so all this time we'd had this non dramatic

702
00:37:44,890 --> 00:37:47,130
Speaker 1: I had been feeling really proud of myself and managing

703
00:37:47,210 --> 00:37:49,810
Speaker 1: my mental health. But all of a sudden, I'm not

704
00:37:50,130 --> 00:37:53,610
Speaker 1: because I felt trapped. I was like, why is this

705
00:37:53,770 --> 00:37:55,890
Speaker 1: person pressuring me to do things I don't want to do.

706
00:37:56,850 --> 00:37:59,770
Speaker 1: Why are they not respecting the fact I'm trying to

707
00:37:59,770 --> 00:38:02,770
Speaker 1: look after my mental health. And it was horrible, and

708
00:38:02,810 --> 00:38:04,330
Speaker 1: I could see it was stressing the dogs. I'm like,

709
00:38:04,410 --> 00:38:07,450
Speaker 1: this is getting bad. That's why I left. This situation

710
00:38:07,690 --> 00:38:09,490
Speaker 1: is not safe for me, it's not safe for her,

711
00:38:09,570 --> 00:38:11,610
Speaker 1: it's not safe for the dogs. I need to get

712
00:38:11,690 --> 00:38:14,530
Speaker 1: the hell out of here. So I packed one bag.

713
00:38:15,410 --> 00:38:20,010
Speaker 1: This is like a whole, all my beautiful furniture, outdoor furniture,

714
00:38:20,050 --> 00:38:25,210
Speaker 1: indoor furniture, everything, mugs, the whole, you know, all my clothes, everything,

715
00:38:25,530 --> 00:38:29,610
Speaker 1: all my bathrooms. I designed everything that I was proud of.

716
00:38:29,690 --> 00:38:31,930
Speaker 1: And I just got a bag and I went to

717
00:38:31,970 --> 00:38:36,290
Speaker 1: a boarding house. I just instinctively knew that they were

718
00:38:36,370 --> 00:38:39,250
Speaker 1: going to chase me. They'd always every time I try

719
00:38:39,330 --> 00:38:41,650
Speaker 1: to leave or I wanted to go or I wanted

720
00:38:41,730 --> 00:38:45,210
Speaker 1: to change something. They just would. I mean, they wore

721
00:38:45,290 --> 00:38:48,810
Speaker 1: me down and I knew they would chase me so

722
00:38:49,890 --> 00:38:53,450
Speaker 1: I couldn't get any housing. Now. Remember Queensland went from

723
00:38:53,490 --> 00:38:55,810
Speaker 1: being a very cheap place to live to a very

724
00:38:55,930 --> 00:38:58,610
Speaker 1: expensive place to live. And in a way, that worked

725
00:38:58,650 --> 00:39:02,730
Speaker 1: in my favor because I looked at another stage and

726
00:39:02,930 --> 00:39:05,330
Speaker 1: I saw, oh, there's lots of units. Look at all

727
00:39:05,370 --> 00:39:07,290
Speaker 1: these units in the city, and I'd lived in that

728
00:39:07,410 --> 00:39:11,370
Speaker 1: state before. I'm like, okay, sure I'll go there. I

729
00:39:11,450 --> 00:39:14,010
Speaker 1: can afford two. And that means I'm away from them,

730
00:39:14,890 --> 00:39:18,010
Speaker 1: so I left everything. I was more upset about my

731
00:39:18,170 --> 00:39:21,570
Speaker 1: dog and her dog, because I mean, they would be

732
00:39:21,730 --> 00:39:24,170
Speaker 1: my support. I cried and cried. I have had no

733
00:39:24,370 --> 00:39:28,970
Speaker 1: grief about her, and also her friends because they would

734
00:39:29,010 --> 00:39:31,930
Speaker 1: just cut me off, and her family I haven't heard.

735
00:39:31,930 --> 00:39:35,850
Speaker 1: It was like I was invisible. And then all I

736
00:39:35,930 --> 00:39:39,770
Speaker 1: could think was my fiftieth birthday, and I was fifty

737
00:39:39,850 --> 00:39:42,250
Speaker 1: one by then. I'm going, wow, that was the most

738
00:39:42,290 --> 00:39:45,210
Speaker 1: important birthday because I'd never had birthdays in my past,

739
00:39:46,210 --> 00:39:49,010
Speaker 1: and I went, oh, wow, those people that are at

740
00:39:49,010 --> 00:39:53,650
Speaker 1: my birthday they didn't care about me. It was very painful.

741
00:39:53,730 --> 00:40:00,930
Speaker 1: It was so painful. I was ringing Lifeline a lot,

742
00:40:01,010 --> 00:40:03,410
Speaker 1: to be honest, and I was just trying to get

743
00:40:03,530 --> 00:40:06,930
Speaker 1: my I was in the height of a complex post

744
00:40:06,930 --> 00:40:10,330
Speaker 1: traumatic stress disorder, so that makes us not that safe

745
00:40:10,370 --> 00:40:13,050
Speaker 1: to be around. I'm not dangerous, but obviously no one

746
00:40:13,090 --> 00:40:15,850
Speaker 1: wants to be around someone when you're triggered. I was

747
00:40:15,890 --> 00:40:19,170
Speaker 1: in a little bachelor unit. I got in the end

748
00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:22,530
Speaker 1: ten grand back and then I said, okay, what about

749
00:40:22,650 --> 00:40:25,970
Speaker 1: all the interior design work that I did? And she said,

750
00:40:26,050 --> 00:40:27,970
Speaker 1: if you keep asking me for that, I'm going to

751
00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:30,130
Speaker 1: call a center link. I'm going to tell them they

752
00:40:30,130 --> 00:40:32,730
Speaker 1: we're in a relationship and you're going to lose your disability.

753
00:40:33,210 --> 00:40:38,130
Speaker 1: She would keep trying to contact me, and she's texting, texting, texting.

754
00:40:38,730 --> 00:40:40,290
Speaker 1: You'd be there a year and then you'll come back.

755
00:40:41,090 --> 00:40:43,250
Speaker 1: I blocked her, and then I unblocked her. When you

756
00:40:43,330 --> 00:40:45,010
Speaker 1: break up with a lesbian, you've got to do it.

757
00:40:45,090 --> 00:40:48,730
Speaker 1: About four times. I was scared. I'm going to tell you.

758
00:40:48,850 --> 00:40:51,370
Speaker 1: I was absolutely I've got I kept all the receipts.

759
00:40:51,450 --> 00:40:54,810
Speaker 1: When I ran Lifeline DV, I thought about it ending

760
00:40:54,890 --> 00:40:58,490
Speaker 1: my life. My brother said, look, why are you leaving them.

761
00:40:58,570 --> 00:41:00,850
Speaker 1: You're fifty one, You've got a disability. You're never going

762
00:41:00,890 --> 00:41:03,290
Speaker 1: to meet anyone is good. It was hard for me

763
00:41:03,370 --> 00:41:05,250
Speaker 1: to let go. It took me a year. Even a

764
00:41:05,330 --> 00:41:07,330
Speaker 1: year later, I'm going, well, maybe I could move back,

765
00:41:07,410 --> 00:41:11,130
Speaker 1: Maybe I could. You know, I missed the house, and

766
00:41:11,250 --> 00:41:13,530
Speaker 1: I guess that's why I moved into state as well.

767
00:41:13,570 --> 00:41:16,330
Speaker 1: I couldn't deal with the pain being so close but

768
00:41:16,450 --> 00:41:18,930
Speaker 1: yet so far I thought, I mentally don't think I

769
00:41:18,970 --> 00:41:20,970
Speaker 1: could do it. I think I might go crazy. I

770
00:41:21,010 --> 00:41:23,770
Speaker 1: think I might end up doing something weird. I just

771
00:41:23,810 --> 00:41:26,970
Speaker 1: knew it wasn't safe to be there. I was so

772
00:41:27,210 --> 00:41:29,010
Speaker 1: mentally ill by that time.

773
00:41:31,250 --> 00:41:34,370
Speaker 2: Eventually, with a lot of work and support from online

774
00:41:34,410 --> 00:41:37,810
Speaker 2: and phone services, Sasha was able to pick themselves up again,

775
00:41:38,250 --> 00:41:41,770
Speaker 2: slowly but surely. They cut all contact with Jay and

776
00:41:41,850 --> 00:41:45,410
Speaker 2: have since discovered she's not only moved on, she's engaged

777
00:41:45,770 --> 00:41:49,850
Speaker 2: and together they've bought another house. But Sasha doesn't feel

778
00:41:49,850 --> 00:41:52,570
Speaker 2: any sadness or jealousy around this. They've done a lot

779
00:41:52,650 --> 00:41:55,330
Speaker 2: of research into what they experienced and were put through

780
00:41:55,690 --> 00:41:57,690
Speaker 2: and have been able to call it what it was

781
00:41:58,170 --> 00:41:58,930
Speaker 2: and work through that.

782
00:41:59,530 --> 00:42:02,730
Speaker 1: People will think that domestic violence is something that just

783
00:42:02,810 --> 00:42:06,050
Speaker 1: happens between a man and a woman, or a man

784
00:42:06,090 --> 00:42:10,010
Speaker 1: and a child like with families, however that's not the case.

785
00:42:10,450 --> 00:42:14,370
Speaker 1: So sixty six percent of the community have experience of

786
00:42:14,410 --> 00:42:19,730
Speaker 1: a queer people so lesbian, gay, bisexual, intersex. So anyone

787
00:42:19,850 --> 00:42:23,330
Speaker 1: under the queer umbrella, sixty six percent has experienced some

788
00:42:23,570 --> 00:42:28,850
Speaker 1: form of abuse and intimate partner abuse, and most of

789
00:42:28,890 --> 00:42:33,930
Speaker 1: the people within that are by pan sexual, disabled, trans.

790
00:42:34,050 --> 00:42:38,250
Speaker 1: Anyone on gender fluid is definitely at higher risk, and

791
00:42:38,370 --> 00:42:41,410
Speaker 1: not people of color, but obviously I think anyone who's

792
00:42:41,490 --> 00:42:44,770
Speaker 1: vulnerable is at a higher risk. And then when you

793
00:42:44,970 --> 00:42:51,250
Speaker 1: lay that abuse with family abuse, homelessness, mental health, and

794
00:42:51,930 --> 00:42:57,090
Speaker 1: obviously the gatekeeping and discrimination that happens within the community,

795
00:42:57,690 --> 00:43:00,410
Speaker 1: it's a lot more complex. It was good leaving her

796
00:43:00,450 --> 00:43:03,730
Speaker 1: because then I could get the help I needed. They

797
00:43:03,810 --> 00:43:07,210
Speaker 1: do say that bisexual women are more at risk of

798
00:43:07,330 --> 00:43:11,250
Speaker 1: abuse within the queer trans and by women by people

799
00:43:11,930 --> 00:43:15,170
Speaker 1: buy women in particular with the disability we rank the highest,

800
00:43:15,850 --> 00:43:20,370
Speaker 1: and also with homelessness, and I think it's because well,

801
00:43:20,690 --> 00:43:23,050
Speaker 1: obviously we're more likely to get the abuse from the

802
00:43:23,090 --> 00:43:27,050
Speaker 1: straight guy. And then you've got thos be a woman

803
00:43:27,050 --> 00:43:29,410
Speaker 1: who is very confident and I want to be part

804
00:43:29,490 --> 00:43:32,850
Speaker 1: of that, but they're saying, well, your other and you're

805
00:43:32,850 --> 00:43:36,530
Speaker 1: also a bit slutty because tell me about your body count.

806
00:43:37,290 --> 00:43:39,650
Speaker 1: I'll always be heard. Because I thought she was my friend,

807
00:43:39,770 --> 00:43:41,810
Speaker 1: it hurts more than I thought she was my best friend.

808
00:43:42,530 --> 00:43:45,130
Speaker 1: It also hurts me because I didn't think lesbians would

809
00:43:45,170 --> 00:43:48,410
Speaker 1: do that. I didn't think the queer community would ever

810
00:43:48,570 --> 00:43:52,370
Speaker 1: ever treat me like that. It was shocking and it's

811
00:43:52,450 --> 00:43:55,570
Speaker 1: been hard. I just don't date anyone now, and I

812
00:43:55,610 --> 00:43:58,450
Speaker 1: wouldn't anyway. If I dated someone, I don't want to

813
00:43:58,490 --> 00:44:01,010
Speaker 1: live with them. I don't need you anyway. I'm now

814
00:44:01,050 --> 00:44:04,490
Speaker 1: in community housing, so that was the state. It's worked

815
00:44:04,490 --> 00:44:06,930
Speaker 1: out quite well for me. So when I started making

816
00:44:07,010 --> 00:44:11,810
Speaker 1: decisions for myself and I just completely block them, I

817
00:44:11,890 --> 00:44:16,170
Speaker 1: still feel the betrayal. I started the thing called Socially

818
00:44:16,250 --> 00:44:20,610
Speaker 1: Brave Queer Hubs and it's just a meetup group and

819
00:44:20,730 --> 00:44:22,890
Speaker 1: I'm doing some sort of partnership to with other meetup

820
00:44:22,930 --> 00:44:26,730
Speaker 1: groups like Rainbow Melbourne. Social meetup groups are really good

821
00:44:26,970 --> 00:44:30,170
Speaker 1: because you can go on your own. You go to

822
00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:32,850
Speaker 1: the event and then you go home and it's not

823
00:44:32,970 --> 00:44:36,250
Speaker 1: like dating. It's not a dating. It is friends. But

824
00:44:36,450 --> 00:44:39,050
Speaker 1: the main aim for the meetups is that people have

825
00:44:39,130 --> 00:44:41,090
Speaker 1: somewhere to go and to help me get out of

826
00:44:41,130 --> 00:44:44,810
Speaker 1: the house, and that has been very helpful. It's taken

827
00:44:44,890 --> 00:44:46,970
Speaker 1: me a while to understand who I am in the

828
00:44:47,130 --> 00:44:51,050
Speaker 1: queer community, because I'm like, I'm not lesbian. Lesbian hang

829
00:44:51,130 --> 00:44:54,130
Speaker 1: out lots of lesbians, but I'm not. There's a bit

830
00:44:54,170 --> 00:44:56,330
Speaker 1: of a disconnect there. And then I'm like, Okay, I

831
00:44:56,450 --> 00:44:59,170
Speaker 1: think I might be more on the queer, pan sexual,

832
00:45:00,010 --> 00:45:02,690
Speaker 1: gender and unconforming. So I know who I am. So

833
00:45:02,770 --> 00:45:04,450
Speaker 1: now I have an undercut, but I have it all.

834
00:45:04,850 --> 00:45:07,090
Speaker 1: I can change. I can be butched, I can be

835
00:45:07,250 --> 00:45:10,010
Speaker 1: fem I've got I can wear fake eyelashes, or I

836
00:45:10,050 --> 00:45:11,730
Speaker 1: can you know, I can do whatever I want on

837
00:45:11,810 --> 00:45:15,650
Speaker 1: any given day. And it's been so amazing, like just

838
00:45:15,810 --> 00:45:18,810
Speaker 1: to be like, oh here I am. Yes, I never

839
00:45:18,890 --> 00:45:21,570
Speaker 1: lost the weight, but I thought, okay, well, you know

840
00:45:21,810 --> 00:45:24,930
Speaker 1: I am in my mid fifties, give yourself a break.

841
00:45:25,410 --> 00:45:28,490
Speaker 1: Let me explore all the rainbow and bright colors and

842
00:45:28,610 --> 00:45:33,050
Speaker 1: sparkles and glitters that exists within me. And I wasn't

843
00:45:33,090 --> 00:45:35,970
Speaker 1: allowed to explore that. I mean, I kind of came

844
00:45:36,090 --> 00:45:40,650
Speaker 1: gray with her. But since leaving her, I've been able

845
00:45:40,690 --> 00:45:43,730
Speaker 1: to I have found out so much about the queer community,

846
00:45:43,930 --> 00:45:47,610
Speaker 1: the new O divergent community. It's not just been queer

847
00:45:47,650 --> 00:45:50,850
Speaker 1: and I really there is a lot of intersectionality. And

848
00:45:50,970 --> 00:45:53,290
Speaker 1: what I didn't realize is there so many of us

849
00:45:53,330 --> 00:45:57,050
Speaker 1: in the queer community that are autistic or have ADHD.

850
00:45:58,290 --> 00:46:02,770
Speaker 1: Through the meetups, I've also learned about people I met

851
00:46:02,850 --> 00:46:06,210
Speaker 1: trans people and learning about their experience actually trans women

852
00:46:06,290 --> 00:46:10,370
Speaker 1: in housing and their vulnerability, people of color. Everybody has

853
00:46:10,450 --> 00:46:13,490
Speaker 1: their own thing that I can't speak to, but it's

854
00:46:13,530 --> 00:46:16,250
Speaker 1: still as glittering. Yes there's a lot of darkness, but

855
00:46:16,330 --> 00:46:19,410
Speaker 1: there's also this amazing lightness and you can only do it.

856
00:46:20,250 --> 00:46:22,930
Speaker 1: It's also connected me more with the services. So DV

857
00:46:23,170 --> 00:46:29,050
Speaker 1: Foundation Now that service was being created in Brisbane the

858
00:46:29,290 --> 00:46:31,850
Speaker 1: very month that I was making a run for it.

859
00:46:32,690 --> 00:46:37,490
Speaker 1: So the CEO, who's incredible guy. He is a game

860
00:46:37,770 --> 00:46:40,650
Speaker 1: a policeman austraya over the year, but he was in

861
00:46:40,810 --> 00:46:44,650
Speaker 1: a domestic abuse relationship. So he set up the DV Foundation,

862
00:46:44,770 --> 00:46:47,970
Speaker 1: which is an awareness building and so there's that now

863
00:46:48,090 --> 00:46:52,890
Speaker 1: which wasn't there when what was happening. So things are changing.

864
00:46:53,170 --> 00:46:56,410
Speaker 1: And then Rainbow Door. So if any of your listen,

865
00:46:56,490 --> 00:46:59,330
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if you're in the UK, if you're in

866
00:46:59,690 --> 00:47:03,370
Speaker 1: Antarctica wherever. You can go on the website if you've

867
00:47:03,410 --> 00:47:06,330
Speaker 1: got Wi Fi, and you can check the information, because

868
00:47:06,650 --> 00:47:10,170
Speaker 1: you'll be surprised, I think how different it is. Like

869
00:47:10,290 --> 00:47:12,930
Speaker 1: it's still the same as how intersexual relationship, but then

870
00:47:12,930 --> 00:47:16,370
Speaker 1: you've got these weird things like this whole thing about

871
00:47:16,450 --> 00:47:20,050
Speaker 1: being by and being shamed about that, being isolated from

872
00:47:20,090 --> 00:47:24,330
Speaker 1: the queer community. That's terrible. Our community. That's how we

873
00:47:24,890 --> 00:47:27,730
Speaker 1: get support and safety, and that means it's good to

874
00:47:27,810 --> 00:47:30,650
Speaker 1: see other queer people, I mean. And it's also you

875
00:47:30,690 --> 00:47:32,370
Speaker 1: don't have to sleep with each other. You can just

876
00:47:32,410 --> 00:47:35,290
Speaker 1: sit and have a dream. Just calm down, everybody. And

877
00:47:35,410 --> 00:47:37,490
Speaker 1: you don't have to move in with each other either.

878
00:47:37,690 --> 00:47:40,890
Speaker 1: You can just be friends and try that. And I

879
00:47:41,090 --> 00:47:44,850
Speaker 1: really really, especially for lesbians and young lesbians, slow down.

880
00:47:45,170 --> 00:47:48,850
Speaker 1: It's okay, you hauling. It's so two thousand and one.

881
00:47:50,690 --> 00:47:52,730
Speaker 1: As soon as I got into the driving seat of

882
00:47:52,810 --> 00:47:56,090
Speaker 1: my life. As soon as I left the house and

883
00:47:56,970 --> 00:48:01,090
Speaker 1: the dog and all my furniture and my design, I

884
00:48:01,170 --> 00:48:04,370
Speaker 1: didn't just leave a home. If you're a creative person

885
00:48:05,130 --> 00:48:07,330
Speaker 1: and you have redesigned a house that you thought you

886
00:48:07,370 --> 00:48:10,050
Speaker 1: were going to live, and you've put all this energy

887
00:48:10,090 --> 00:48:13,010
Speaker 1: into the tiles and how it look and you it's like.

888
00:48:13,410 --> 00:48:15,210
Speaker 1: And also from my point of view, it's first thing

889
00:48:15,250 --> 00:48:17,850
Speaker 1: I've done in years that I feel proud of, just

890
00:48:18,010 --> 00:48:20,850
Speaker 1: having to leave that and what I thought was a

891
00:48:20,890 --> 00:48:26,810
Speaker 1: community as well. But by making that step, and thankfully

892
00:48:26,810 --> 00:48:29,730
Speaker 1: I could do it because I had my disability the insurance.

893
00:48:29,930 --> 00:48:33,250
Speaker 1: Thank god, by making that decision to take control of

894
00:48:33,330 --> 00:48:36,490
Speaker 1: my life was the best decision. And even though it

895
00:48:36,570 --> 00:48:40,010
Speaker 1: was really painful and it hasn't been perfect, I've been

896
00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:42,570
Speaker 1: in and out. I've had to I now see a

897
00:48:42,770 --> 00:48:47,450
Speaker 1: very good therapist through Open Arms, and she's amazing and

898
00:48:47,690 --> 00:48:51,690
Speaker 1: she's gay, which is great. So that helps having a

899
00:48:51,810 --> 00:48:57,290
Speaker 1: lesbian because I understand, you know, like having the other psychologists.

900
00:48:57,330 --> 00:49:00,290
Speaker 1: So I finally have a psychologist who gets it. So

901
00:49:00,410 --> 00:49:03,570
Speaker 1: how do I feel. I feel like, yeah, I got

902
00:49:03,610 --> 00:49:06,970
Speaker 1: my voice back and I'm proud of myself. I feel good.

903
00:49:07,250 --> 00:49:09,130
Speaker 1: I feel good. It's an ongoing journey.

904
00:49:13,050 --> 00:49:15,170
Speaker 2: If you, or anyone you know is a victim of

905
00:49:15,290 --> 00:49:18,690
Speaker 2: domestic violence or abuse, there are a list of support

906
00:49:18,770 --> 00:49:22,490
Speaker 2: services in our show notes, including those specifically supporting the

907
00:49:22,570 --> 00:49:30,570
Speaker 2: queer community. Everyone Has an X is a MINTI Media

908
00:49:30,650 --> 00:49:34,410
Speaker 2: production and proudly part of the Mummamea Network. Is written

909
00:49:34,450 --> 00:49:38,090
Speaker 2: and narrated by me Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott.

910
00:49:38,490 --> 00:49:40,570
Speaker 2: If you have a story you'd like to share, email

911
00:49:40,690 --> 00:49:44,490
Speaker 2: podcast at momamea dot com dot au. You can support

912
00:49:44,570 --> 00:49:46,930
Speaker 2: us by following the show in your favorite podcast app

913
00:49:47,130 --> 00:49:49,730
Speaker 2: and leaving a five star review. We'll see you for

914
00:49:49,810 --> 00:49:50,690
Speaker 2: the next episode.