WEBVTT - A Very Awkward Oscars & That Manosphere Doco

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, and welcome to MoMA Mia out Loud. It's what

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<v Speaker 2>women are actually talking about on Monday, the sixteenth of March.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Holly Wayne Wright.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm Claire Stevens and I'm Amelia Lastov.

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<v Speaker 2>And the reason I sound a bit scattered is because

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<v Speaker 2>I'm very excited. Regular out louders well know, I'm a

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<v Speaker 2>big Oscars fan. I used to work in celebrity magazines.

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<v Speaker 2>This was like the biggest day of the year. I

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<v Speaker 2>love my movies, I love my stars. I am amped.

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<v Speaker 2>And today we're going to give you all the gossip.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to give you all the things that grabbed

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<v Speaker 2>our attention, the frocks we loved. We're not running through,

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<v Speaker 2>like blow by blow, everything that happened and whether or

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<v Speaker 2>not it should have done. We're just going to give

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<v Speaker 2>you what grabbed our attention. And there will be a

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<v Speaker 2>few spoilers in here too.

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<v Speaker 3>Plus the Louis Theroux documentary everyone's talking about and our

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<v Speaker 3>quite stringent attempts to find a few glimmers of hope

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<v Speaker 3>within it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I want to talk about reply only. Frank maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you are one of them.

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<v Speaker 2>But first in case you missed it. In Batshit Theories

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<v Speaker 2>of the Week. In case you missed it, there's a

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<v Speaker 2>whole thing going on about if you put a picture

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<v Speaker 2>of Timothy's challomay, we we'll talk more about our chalo

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<v Speaker 2>maay later next to a picture of Henry Cavell. Do

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<v Speaker 2>we all know who he is? Handsome British, Yeah, British,

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<v Speaker 2>British movie star who you find more attractive, says more

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<v Speaker 2>about you than your taste. Goes this theory, let me

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<v Speaker 2>just explain and then we'll unpack why it may or

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<v Speaker 2>may indeed be nonsense. In the interests of bursting my bubble,

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<v Speaker 2>I follow a magazine called ev on Instagram. We've talked

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<v Speaker 2>about Evie on this show. It's like in America, it's

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<v Speaker 2>like the conservative Cosmo. So it's kind of sells itself

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<v Speaker 2>as like a woman's lifestyle site, magazine whatever. But it's

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<v Speaker 2>all very like how to please your husband, don't be promiscuous,

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<v Speaker 2>get married quickly, all that kind of stuff.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 2>They've had this post up about challow may and Cavell

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<v Speaker 2>says in the latest Internet discourse some women on x

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<v Speaker 2>this is on Twitter claiming Henry Cavell isn't that attractive.

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<v Speaker 2>But there may actually be scientific explanation for why some

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<v Speaker 2>women say they prefer Timothy Chalomaye instead. Research suggests that

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<v Speaker 2>women on hormonal birth control tend to be more drawn

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<v Speaker 2>to men with softer, more feminine features. Coincidence, asks Evie,

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<v Speaker 2>because they're just asking questions, Amelia. This has been jumped

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<v Speaker 2>on by lots of conservative commentators. Lauren Chen sent a

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<v Speaker 2>tweet completely viral, and then Elon Musk of course shared it,

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<v Speaker 2>where she said, thinking Timothy Shalomay is more attractive than

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<v Speaker 2>Henry Cavell is what happens when you've been on birth

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<v Speaker 2>control for ten years.

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<v Speaker 1>Elon Musk actually reposted it with the bulls eye emoji.

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<v Speaker 1>And I just want to know who does he think

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<v Speaker 1>he looks like?

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<v Speaker 2>He looks like Henry cavill And also we know he

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't approve of birth control because he has twenty million children.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm not a scientist, but Clare Stephens certainly is

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<v Speaker 2>oh definitely, is it true that being on the pill

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<v Speaker 2>or on DHRT, when it comes to it, is going

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<v Speaker 2>to make you fancy, shallow, made more than cavil.

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<v Speaker 3>No, And this is an example, This is an example

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<v Speaker 3>of misinformation on the Internet, which we'll probably get to

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<v Speaker 3>you in a later segment. It is so frustrating to

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<v Speaker 3>look at this. It's wrong on so many levels. I'll

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<v Speaker 3>start with a scientific level and then we'll move to logic.

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<v Speaker 2>So what if you find both of them attractive? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>what does that say the state of your hor I think.

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<v Speaker 3>You're a hoe.

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<v Speaker 2>Ev Magazine would.

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<v Speaker 3>Elon Musk would say you're a hoe. So that was

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<v Speaker 3>based on a twenty twelve study. What Evie magazine was citing.

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<v Speaker 3>That's quite a long time twenty twelve, and there was

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<v Speaker 3>another big study in two thousand and eight. You won't

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<v Speaker 3>believe it, but there's been studies since, and you won't

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<v Speaker 3>believe it. But the study since have actually showed that

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<v Speaker 3>that was a complete non fabrication. So study in twenty

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<v Speaker 3>nineteen found no evidence that women using oral contraceptives had

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<v Speaker 3>weaker preferences for male facial masculinity than did women not

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<v Speaker 3>using oral contraceptives. And then in twenty twenty five, that

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<v Speaker 3>was just last year. You may remember, there was a

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<v Speaker 3>randomized control trial that was like a double blind study.

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<v Speaker 3>That is the golden standard of any kind of scientific research.

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<v Speaker 3>So it meant that they randomly assigned some women to

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<v Speaker 3>be on the pill, randomly assigned some women to be

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<v Speaker 3>on placebo, and then they did this experiment no statistically

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<v Speaker 3>significant effect of oral contraceptives on preferences.

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<v Speaker 2>For facial hoping to not get pregnant.

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<v Speaker 3>I know, right, it's like, oh, sorry, we didn't think

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<v Speaker 3>about that ethical consideration. But the fact that an article

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<v Speaker 3>can be written that acts like it's citing scientific research

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<v Speaker 3>and then ignores the last fourteen years of that scientific

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<v Speaker 3>research is so infuriating. So there's that aspect, But then

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<v Speaker 3>there's the logic. So that Evey Magazine article tries to

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<v Speaker 3>argue at the end that the big problem here, the

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<v Speaker 3>worry for women is that what's going to happen is

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<v Speaker 3>you're going to be on hormone or birth control, and

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<v Speaker 3>then you're going to marry someone and then you're going

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<v Speaker 3>to go.

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<v Speaker 1>Off to Michael and you'll want Henry Carol.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's like, you know what else might actually affect

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<v Speaker 3>what women get tied to for their entire lives having

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<v Speaker 3>a baby with that man. Hence birth control, Like do

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<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean? Like before birth control, women,

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<v Speaker 3>the freedom that birth control has offered women outweighs.

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<v Speaker 2>That to choose a mate.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, even if that were true. The other thing that

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't make sense is that at the beginning of that

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<v Speaker 3>article they write that it's easy to watch a James

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<v Speaker 3>Dean movie and wonder why there aren't men like that anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>We sat in a cinema a few weeks ago and

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<v Speaker 3>watched women salivate over Jacob Alordi no bless him, who's

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<v Speaker 3>pretty bloody. Similar, there's Adam Driver, there's Paul mescal And

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<v Speaker 3>then they have a line about how a tea teen

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<v Speaker 3>age girl is more likely to lust over Lil Huddy

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<v Speaker 3>than Jacob a lord who is little Huddy. And also

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<v Speaker 3>teenage girls shouldn't be the consideration here because they're less

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<v Speaker 3>likely to be your birth control than women in the twenties.

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<v Speaker 2>All my fun I just want to come with the

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<v Speaker 2>side of culture war, and I was enjoying it.

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<v Speaker 3>Also, I like, I'm not on birth control, but I

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<v Speaker 3>am pregnant, so that might effect.

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<v Speaker 2>But you're a Shallama aunt.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but birth control, no birth control, pregnancy, no pregnancy.

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<v Speaker 3>I go Shalla May over Henry Cavill. I think Henry

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<v Speaker 3>Cavill looks a little bit more.

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<v Speaker 2>That's science. That is science. So we have been watching

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<v Speaker 2>the Oscars on and off all morning, all lunchtime. I

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<v Speaker 2>heard some whoops around the office, not many. It wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>the most exciting of ceremonies they were.

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<v Speaker 3>It had its moments.

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<v Speaker 2>I had its moments. We're going to be talking about

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<v Speaker 2>made people whoop in a moment. But we can't talk

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<v Speaker 2>about the Oscars without talking about dresses. Now, Mia is

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<v Speaker 2>going to bring her forensic some may say judgmental view

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<v Speaker 2>on fashion and the Red Carpet tore tomorrow's episode in detail,

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<v Speaker 2>as well as the after party outfits, which are always

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<v Speaker 2>more interesting these days. But friends, we have to do

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<v Speaker 2>a who you like best on the Red Carpet? Amelia,

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<v Speaker 2>I got two.

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<v Speaker 1>I got a man and a woman. Best dressed woman

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<v Speaker 1>Rose r Rose Berner Indior Anne Hathaway went for a

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<v Speaker 1>similar look. They were both kind of wearing some might

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<v Speaker 1>say wallpaper adjacent designs, but they both looked beautiful. But

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<v Speaker 1>Rose looks like a movie star, and by that I

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<v Speaker 1>mean she looks like an exceptionally attractive person who was

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<v Speaker 1>having a lot of fun.

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<v Speaker 3>And interestingly I made the same observation, but I feel

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<v Speaker 3>like Rose Burns was like the modern version of that

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<v Speaker 3>dress and the jewelry and that kind of thing, whereas

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<v Speaker 3>Anne Hathaway's was like the old.

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<v Speaker 1>Well she got. She had like elbow length gloves on.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>And my best dressed man is Pedro Pascal, who did

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<v Speaker 1>not have his mustache. I think there was some gasps

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<v Speaker 1>of dismay in the office when he showed up on

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<v Speaker 1>the red carpet clean shaven. No one's ever seen him

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<v Speaker 1>aout the mustache before.

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<v Speaker 2>What you just heard me do.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the mustache made its way onto Leo's face.

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<v Speaker 2>It did crawl across the red carpet clan.

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<v Speaker 3>I quite liked Leo.

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<v Speaker 1>I did not. I like clean shaven Pedro. He was

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<v Speaker 1>in white channel, he had this big silk and feather

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<v Speaker 1>brooch on. And what I love about him is that

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<v Speaker 1>he always looked so well moisturized.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you're right. I thought the boys, though, did you

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<v Speaker 2>notice they were a lot of them were either all

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<v Speaker 2>in white like Chalamaie like fool full white, or all

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<v Speaker 2>in black so like black timeless.

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<v Speaker 1>That's true.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think our Jacob classic three piece suit with

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<v Speaker 2>the waistcoat, I mean, I know, it's hard to look

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<v Speaker 2>bad when you're seventeen feet to Anie took his mom.

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<v Speaker 3>He did, he did take you.

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<v Speaker 1>You have a little bit of an issue there.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a deflection because who is dating people would find

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<v Speaker 3>a little bit problematic. So he takes his mom and

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<v Speaker 3>everyone's like, oh, taking his.

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<v Speaker 1>Mom because he's dating.

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<v Speaker 3>He's dating Olivia.

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<v Speaker 2>Olivia talked about this last week.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Olivia Jade, who's who was involved in the college

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<v Speaker 3>admissions candle. I just think she's so beautiful. But to be.

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<v Speaker 2>Fair, the serious actors always take their moms. Leo took

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<v Speaker 2>his mom for years. Charala Maai used to take his mom.

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<v Speaker 2>He still doesn't walk with Kylie, like not really. I

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<v Speaker 2>think the serious actors are always like, we're not going

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about this.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, true, honorable mention to Jacob Lordie's scruffy hair. You

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<v Speaker 3>just know that that particular scruff took hours. It was

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<v Speaker 3>just so intentional, but it was so beautiful. I'm going

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<v Speaker 3>to be boring and agree with Amelia that Rose Byrne

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<v Speaker 3>was absolutely best stressed. But I'll also mention I thought

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<v Speaker 3>Demie Moore's look was.

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<v Speaker 2>Too many feathers, many feathers.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, our Nick was in feathers too.

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<v Speaker 2>And so was Tayana Taylor who I did think looked amazing,

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<v Speaker 2>and she's been she's from one battle after another, and

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<v Speaker 2>she has been absolutely hammering. The red carpet looks with

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<v Speaker 2>lots of really out sort of out there things, So

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<v Speaker 2>her in those feathers was actually quite yeah, well key

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<v Speaker 2>for her. It looked amazing.

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<v Speaker 3>The other one that, yes, needs it, need to mention

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<v Speaker 3>is Emma Stone looked that color, that fabric, Oh, that

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<v Speaker 3>looked absolutely beautiful. Louisverton a little capslee.

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<v Speaker 1>Emma Stone does not look like Emma Stone anymore. I

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<v Speaker 1>know you've borded me saying this. Bridget Dulaney wrote a

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<v Speaker 1>great piece in The Guardian a couple of days ago

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<v Speaker 1>about how movie stars used to just be like better

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<v Speaker 1>looking than the rest of us, and we could aspire

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<v Speaker 1>to that and we liked looking at them, and it

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<v Speaker 1>was all very uncomplicated. And now movie stars just look

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<v Speaker 1>like AI generated cyborgs. And I have to include a

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<v Speaker 1>number of the people who walk the carpet tonight in

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<v Speaker 1>that category.

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<v Speaker 2>We discussed this all the time. I thought she looked amazing,

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<v Speaker 2>very very thin, but that's her thing.

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<v Speaker 3>But I thought she has the dress, probably the only

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<v Speaker 3>person in the world who could wear that dress. Can

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<v Speaker 3>we just quickly? I hated Timmy's look. I hated the sunglasses.

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<v Speaker 3>I hated the boots. They were like hospital boot.

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<v Speaker 2>Leave the boy aler.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like a double breasted white suit, which I

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<v Speaker 1>think so yes, suits haven't been this controversial since Obama

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<v Speaker 1>wore a tan suit.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, I have to award a high degree

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<v Speaker 2>of difficulty right for the very pregnant? Would me Masaku?

0:11:38.954 --> 0:11:41.114
<v Speaker 2>She is from Sinners, she played Annie and Sinners, the

0:11:41.114 --> 0:11:44.394
<v Speaker 2>heart of that movie. Amazing actress, she's about to have

0:11:44.434 --> 0:11:47.394
<v Speaker 2>a baby, and she was like, because Hailey Steinfeld, who's

0:11:47.434 --> 0:11:50.274
<v Speaker 2>also in Sinners, she is also heavily pregnant, and she

0:11:50.354 --> 0:11:53.394
<v Speaker 2>didn't go, but I think that one me was like, no,

0:11:53.594 --> 0:11:57.154
<v Speaker 2>I'm freaking going. And she wore this amazing Louis Vton

0:11:57.314 --> 0:11:59.953
<v Speaker 2>green sequince. But it is not easy to pull off

0:11:59.954 --> 0:12:01.714
<v Speaker 2>a red car and that would have been custom made

0:12:01.754 --> 0:12:05.234
<v Speaker 2>for her, and she looked freaking a million dollars. Anyway,

0:12:05.874 --> 0:12:07.914
<v Speaker 2>that's the Frocks, as we say, he is going to

0:12:07.954 --> 0:12:11.674
<v Speaker 2>do more on that tomorrow. But moving inside, Conan O'Brien

0:12:11.754 --> 0:12:15.354
<v Speaker 2>was hosting now he hosted last year, generally seemed to

0:12:15.354 --> 0:12:18.594
<v Speaker 2>be a pretty safe choice. In these polarizing times. And

0:12:18.674 --> 0:12:21.674
<v Speaker 2>remember America as a millionaires better than anyone half the

0:12:21.714 --> 0:12:24.194
<v Speaker 2>audience hate the other half of the audience. Are you

0:12:24.274 --> 0:12:26.594
<v Speaker 2>going to make jokes for one half of the audience

0:12:26.594 --> 0:12:29.714
<v Speaker 2>and not the other. He kind of played it very safe.

0:12:29.754 --> 0:12:32.034
<v Speaker 2>He did make an Epstein gag that is coming up

0:12:32.074 --> 0:12:35.074
<v Speaker 2>in this Here's a little collection from his opening monologue.

0:12:35.274 --> 0:12:38.594
<v Speaker 4>Great to be back hosting the Oscars. Last year when

0:12:38.594 --> 0:12:42.994
<v Speaker 4>I hosted Los Angeles was on fire, but this year

0:12:43.594 --> 0:12:47.834
<v Speaker 4>everything's going great. Security is extremely tight tonight. I's got

0:12:47.834 --> 0:12:50.954
<v Speaker 4>to mention that. Yeah, I'm told there's concerns about attacks

0:12:50.954 --> 0:12:55.914
<v Speaker 4>from both the opera and ballet communities. They're just mad

0:12:55.954 --> 0:12:59.954
<v Speaker 4>you left out jazz. It's the first time since twenty twelve,

0:13:00.434 --> 0:13:03.714
<v Speaker 4>first time since twenty twelve that there are no British

0:13:03.754 --> 0:13:09.354
<v Speaker 4>actors nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress. Yeah, British

0:13:09.354 --> 0:13:13.074
<v Speaker 4>spokesperson said, yeah, well at least we arrest our pedophiles,

0:13:13.394 --> 0:13:14.834
<v Speaker 4>so we got that going.

0:13:16.474 --> 0:13:17.714
<v Speaker 1>We pay tribute.

0:13:17.394 --> 0:13:21.554
<v Speaker 4>Tonight, not just a film, but to the ideals of

0:13:21.634 --> 0:13:29.314
<v Speaker 4>global artistry, collaboration, patience, resilience and that rarest of qualities

0:13:29.354 --> 0:13:35.674
<v Speaker 4>today optimism. So let us please celebrate. Let us celebrate.

0:13:36.874 --> 0:13:41.034
<v Speaker 2>That last bit was like him saying giving everyone permission

0:13:41.514 --> 0:13:43.594
<v Speaker 2>to have a nice night. Yeah, being like what.

0:13:43.514 --> 0:13:44.314
<v Speaker 3>We do is important.

0:13:44.434 --> 0:13:46.794
<v Speaker 1>I love Conan. I think he's so funny and his

0:13:46.874 --> 0:13:50.594
<v Speaker 1>Hot Ones episode is the greatest twenty minutes of Internet ever.

0:13:51.074 --> 0:13:54.634
<v Speaker 1>But I forgot my AirPods today and I was watching

0:13:54.834 --> 0:13:58.994
<v Speaker 1>him perform without sound, and he looked like a silent

0:13:59.114 --> 0:14:02.554
<v Speaker 1>movie star and he was just trying so hard, and

0:14:02.594 --> 0:14:05.274
<v Speaker 1>there was something about it that felt really old fashioned

0:14:05.314 --> 0:14:05.514
<v Speaker 1>to me.

0:14:05.834 --> 0:14:10.194
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, on the whole ceremony feels and tics of it

0:14:10.274 --> 0:14:12.034
<v Speaker 2>all with him, Yea, I agree.

0:14:12.074 --> 0:14:14.754
<v Speaker 3>And there were several jokes that to me fell flat

0:14:14.874 --> 0:14:18.514
<v Speaker 3>and just felt like absolutely anyone like my dad would

0:14:18.514 --> 0:14:19.994
<v Speaker 3>have made them. There are a couple of good ones.

0:14:20.034 --> 0:14:22.354
<v Speaker 3>I'm glad that it only took a few seconds to

0:14:22.394 --> 0:14:25.234
<v Speaker 3>get the ballet upright joke out of the messing around

0:14:25.234 --> 0:14:25.634
<v Speaker 3>with that.

0:14:27.154 --> 0:14:28.314
<v Speaker 1>And it was nicely delivered.

0:14:28.394 --> 0:14:31.434
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's tricky because do you remember for a while

0:14:31.514 --> 0:14:34.194
<v Speaker 2>there the OSCARS was trying to be relevant with its hosts,

0:14:34.194 --> 0:14:36.154
<v Speaker 2>and there was that year when it was unhad the

0:14:36.154 --> 0:14:39.914
<v Speaker 2>way James Frank or whatever, like nobody wanted.

0:14:39.634 --> 0:14:40.114
<v Speaker 1>To do it.

0:14:40.114 --> 0:14:42.234
<v Speaker 2>It was ahead of its time that one, but it

0:14:42.394 --> 0:14:45.634
<v Speaker 2>became like a poison chalice. Nobody wanted that gig because

0:14:45.634 --> 0:14:48.354
<v Speaker 2>it's the most criticized blah blah. So now they've obviously

0:14:48.394 --> 0:14:50.954
<v Speaker 2>just gone, let's keep that. Billy Crystal did it for

0:14:51.034 --> 0:14:52.754
<v Speaker 2>like what seemed like a hundred years.

0:14:52.514 --> 0:14:56.274
<v Speaker 1>And he appeared on stage briefly tonight as well in

0:14:56.354 --> 0:14:59.794
<v Speaker 1>the immemorium section talking about Rob Reiner. But I just

0:14:59.914 --> 0:15:03.074
<v Speaker 1>wonder if in this sort of stripped back TikTok age,

0:15:03.394 --> 0:15:06.634
<v Speaker 1>someone trying as hard as cone and just falls flat.

0:15:07.634 --> 0:15:09.754
<v Speaker 2>And you know, like a lot of the Oscars does

0:15:09.794 --> 0:15:13.154
<v Speaker 2>feel like it's still nineteen eighty two, like the music,

0:15:13.874 --> 0:15:16.634
<v Speaker 2>like when people are coming on and off, the glamorous

0:15:16.714 --> 0:15:19.994
<v Speaker 2>Lady who leads everybody on and office's so weird. Now,

0:15:20.274 --> 0:15:22.034
<v Speaker 2>Emelia and I were talking about the set and how

0:15:22.034 --> 0:15:24.994
<v Speaker 2>it looked really dark and weird, and then I read

0:15:25.114 --> 0:15:27.754
<v Speaker 2>that according to Vanity Fair, the year's stage design is

0:15:27.754 --> 0:15:30.514
<v Speaker 2>meant to represent a calming garden courtyard.

0:15:30.714 --> 0:15:32.434
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't it look like a mausoleum.

0:15:33.394 --> 0:15:35.354
<v Speaker 3>And what's weird is that I feel like with the

0:15:35.354 --> 0:15:40.954
<v Speaker 3>red carpet, the official Oscars red carpet is very of

0:15:40.994 --> 0:15:43.074
<v Speaker 3>the moment. They've got a Millia to Oldenberg and she

0:15:43.154 --> 0:15:46.914
<v Speaker 3>does it and she's so funny, and sometimes that gets

0:15:46.914 --> 0:15:49.554
<v Speaker 3>criticized the idea of like influencers on the red carpet,

0:15:49.834 --> 0:15:52.354
<v Speaker 3>But they're funny and they bring out funny stuff in

0:15:52.554 --> 0:15:55.034
<v Speaker 3>the people they interview. But I agree, I think the

0:15:55.234 --> 0:15:57.994
<v Speaker 3>entire ceremony is too earnest. I think everyone's being too

0:15:57.994 --> 0:16:01.194
<v Speaker 3>earnest all the time. And I'm like, calm down, yeah,

0:16:01.274 --> 0:16:05.434
<v Speaker 3>the ice. I don't need you to.

0:16:04.034 --> 0:16:06.034
<v Speaker 2>To hand it over to Rock Nation, who do like

0:16:06.074 --> 0:16:08.514
<v Speaker 2>the super Bowl and they just need to be like,

0:16:08.794 --> 0:16:11.074
<v Speaker 2>what would you do with the Oscars because it's their

0:16:11.114 --> 0:16:13.514
<v Speaker 2>big night, right And I get it. If I worked

0:16:13.554 --> 0:16:16.034
<v Speaker 2>in that industry, it would be a big deal to

0:16:16.114 --> 0:16:18.834
<v Speaker 2>be there and all that stuff. But it just does feel,

0:16:18.914 --> 0:16:21.914
<v Speaker 2>as you said, Emelia, like it's from another time. Okay,

0:16:22.074 --> 0:16:24.834
<v Speaker 2>we have to get to the biggest upset of the

0:16:24.914 --> 0:16:26.794
<v Speaker 2>night if it's an upset, because we did kind of

0:16:26.794 --> 0:16:29.394
<v Speaker 2>predict it. But three months ago you would have thought

0:16:29.434 --> 0:16:32.994
<v Speaker 2>that chalamay, my little Timmy had a lock on this

0:16:33.594 --> 0:16:37.314
<v Speaker 2>Best Actor nomination and win. He was nominated last year

0:16:37.394 --> 0:16:40.074
<v Speaker 2>for the Bob Dylan Movie. At that point, he made

0:16:40.074 --> 0:16:42.034
<v Speaker 2>a big point about how much he wanted to win

0:16:42.114 --> 0:16:44.954
<v Speaker 2>it and how hard he's been working, and then on

0:16:44.994 --> 0:16:47.914
<v Speaker 2>the Mardi Supreme press tour he's been talking loads about

0:16:47.954 --> 0:16:50.154
<v Speaker 2>the quality of work he's been churning out. I think

0:16:50.154 --> 0:16:52.234
<v Speaker 2>he's been nominated three times in ten years, which is

0:16:52.514 --> 0:16:56.474
<v Speaker 2>a lot. He's only thirty. But he blew it and

0:16:56.514 --> 0:16:59.154
<v Speaker 2>it went to Michael B. Jordan, which is justice because,

0:16:59.154 --> 0:17:02.034
<v Speaker 2>as Emily Vernon pointed out on Friday's show, Michael B.

0:17:02.114 --> 0:17:04.793
<v Speaker 2>Jordan should really have got two awards because he played twins.

0:17:05.434 --> 0:17:09.914
<v Speaker 2>But do we think that the backlash in motion Ameilia.

0:17:09.674 --> 0:17:12.074
<v Speaker 1>The Charla May backlash is here? And I don't just

0:17:12.154 --> 0:17:14.274
<v Speaker 1>know that because you've been taking all the blue tech

0:17:14.314 --> 0:17:17.874
<v Speaker 1>off your Timmy posters around your desk today, Holly. I

0:17:17.914 --> 0:17:20.513
<v Speaker 1>think it started. I can pinpoint exactly when it started

0:17:20.794 --> 0:17:24.274
<v Speaker 1>when he and Kylie Jenner appeared on the Red Carpet

0:17:24.314 --> 0:17:28.154
<v Speaker 1>in those matching orange pleaver outfits. A few months ago

0:17:28.594 --> 0:17:31.354
<v Speaker 1>he was promoting My Supreme. He was wearing orange. But

0:17:31.554 --> 0:17:33.874
<v Speaker 1>I think it was just too much for everyone. It

0:17:33.954 --> 0:17:37.513
<v Speaker 1>was far too naff. From there on, he hasn't recovered

0:17:37.554 --> 0:17:39.234
<v Speaker 1>the ground. In fact, he's lost more with the opera

0:17:39.234 --> 0:17:41.394
<v Speaker 1>and ballet remarks There's an interesting article in The New

0:17:41.474 --> 0:17:45.554
<v Speaker 1>York Times today by Navine Kumar called Wasn't Timothday's Charla

0:17:45.594 --> 0:17:47.954
<v Speaker 1>May is supposed to be a new kind of leading man,

0:17:47.994 --> 0:17:49.994
<v Speaker 1>and I think her premise is really interesting. She makes

0:17:50.034 --> 0:17:52.794
<v Speaker 1>the point that in twenty seventeen, when he burst onto

0:17:52.794 --> 0:17:56.313
<v Speaker 1>the scene, he was in Ladybird, Greta Gowig's movie. He

0:17:56.434 --> 0:17:58.553
<v Speaker 1>was in Call Me by Your Name, there was a

0:17:58.594 --> 0:18:01.554
<v Speaker 1>gay love story. He wore a backless red holter neck

0:18:01.634 --> 0:18:03.714
<v Speaker 1>on the red carpet. We thought he was kind of

0:18:03.794 --> 0:18:05.314
<v Speaker 1>post heterosexual man.

0:18:07.234 --> 0:18:09.474
<v Speaker 2>EV Magazine thinks that's sure.

0:18:09.994 --> 0:18:12.834
<v Speaker 1>But now he's sort of been revealed to not be

0:18:13.114 --> 0:18:15.594
<v Speaker 1>what we all pinned on him or projected on to him.

0:18:15.594 --> 0:18:17.394
<v Speaker 1>And I think we're all just feeling like we were

0:18:17.394 --> 0:18:19.434
<v Speaker 1>sold a bill of goods. Do you think that's right?

0:18:20.074 --> 0:18:22.513
<v Speaker 2>I do? But I also I have to examine my

0:18:22.834 --> 0:18:24.914
<v Speaker 2>attitude about it because I think a lot of it's

0:18:24.954 --> 0:18:27.354
<v Speaker 2>to do with his choice of partner, right, and Kylie Jenner,

0:18:27.434 --> 0:18:30.034
<v Speaker 2>And I don't think that's fair, do you know what

0:18:30.114 --> 0:18:33.914
<v Speaker 2>I mean? Like, I think that our whether it's misogyny,

0:18:33.954 --> 0:18:37.513
<v Speaker 2>whether it's snobbery about Kylie Jenner and the kardashianness of

0:18:37.554 --> 0:18:40.954
<v Speaker 2>it all has rubbed off on him and tainted his brand.

0:18:41.434 --> 0:18:44.154
<v Speaker 2>And the truth of it is, he is incredibly good

0:18:44.194 --> 0:18:46.714
<v Speaker 2>at what he does. Like Marty Supreme, whether you particularly

0:18:46.834 --> 0:18:50.794
<v Speaker 2>like that movie or not, his performance is extraordinary, and

0:18:50.834 --> 0:18:52.594
<v Speaker 2>the same with the Bob Dylan movie and the same

0:18:52.594 --> 0:18:56.674
<v Speaker 2>with everything he does. So he's a great actor. And

0:18:56.714 --> 0:18:58.554
<v Speaker 2>I think that for a long time people were like, oh,

0:18:58.594 --> 0:19:00.474
<v Speaker 2>he knows how to promote a movie and open a movie.

0:19:00.514 --> 0:19:02.513
<v Speaker 2>That was the narrative when Marty Supreme came out, and

0:19:02.514 --> 0:19:05.114
<v Speaker 2>they were like, very few actors can open a movie

0:19:05.114 --> 0:19:06.634
<v Speaker 2>and take it to the top of the box office,

0:19:07.434 --> 0:19:09.914
<v Speaker 2>not gen z but he can. Him and Zende are

0:19:09.914 --> 0:19:13.914
<v Speaker 2>seen as the great saviors of youth cinema. And it's

0:19:14.034 --> 0:19:16.313
<v Speaker 2>like he went too hard, and then I think he

0:19:16.354 --> 0:19:19.353
<v Speaker 2>went too hard, and then the establishment went, yeah, but

0:19:19.394 --> 0:19:21.394
<v Speaker 2>you're not very Ardi, are you, because you're kind of

0:19:21.394 --> 0:19:23.874
<v Speaker 2>with the Kardashians now. And I wonder if there's just

0:19:24.474 --> 0:19:27.194
<v Speaker 2>a bit of old fashioned snobbery at play there, because

0:19:27.234 --> 0:19:30.114
<v Speaker 2>although we've all been gripping our pearls about him saying

0:19:30.114 --> 0:19:33.634
<v Speaker 2>what he said about opera or ballet, he wasn't wrong,

0:19:33.874 --> 0:19:35.994
<v Speaker 2>as in it's not like the average guy in the

0:19:35.994 --> 0:19:37.914
<v Speaker 2>street who's paying to go and see Sinners or Marti

0:19:37.954 --> 0:19:41.194
<v Speaker 2>Supreme is a massive opera ballet fan, but it's given

0:19:41.234 --> 0:19:44.914
<v Speaker 2>the establishment a really good reason to turn stobby on him.

0:19:45.074 --> 0:19:49.594
<v Speaker 3>I reckon he just has the Leonardo DiCaprio cz which

0:19:49.674 --> 0:19:52.074
<v Speaker 3>is he's going to be nominated over and over and

0:19:52.114 --> 0:19:54.074
<v Speaker 3>over again and he's going to lose over it.

0:19:54.914 --> 0:19:56.914
<v Speaker 1>Different to Leo, I was actually going to bring him

0:19:56.994 --> 0:19:59.434
<v Speaker 1>up because I think they're an interesting study. In contrast,

0:19:59.794 --> 0:20:03.474
<v Speaker 1>Leo dates Victoria's Secret Models famously. We kind of all

0:20:03.554 --> 0:20:05.634
<v Speaker 1>just make jokes about it, and it's become part of

0:20:05.634 --> 0:20:08.554
<v Speaker 1>his persona. But he gets cast in the Martins Corsese

0:20:08.714 --> 0:20:11.394
<v Speaker 1>films year after year. There's no sense of his credibility

0:20:11.474 --> 0:20:14.234
<v Speaker 1>being eroded because of his love life choices. Why is

0:20:14.274 --> 0:20:19.434
<v Speaker 1>it that we don't like Charalamae with Kylie Jenner, but

0:20:19.474 --> 0:20:23.714
<v Speaker 1>we forgive DiCaprio with his carousel of under twenty six.

0:20:23.714 --> 0:20:28.474
<v Speaker 3>Year olds because we dehumani because they do. Yeah, that's

0:20:28.554 --> 0:20:30.314
<v Speaker 3>exactly which is a little bit.

0:20:30.874 --> 0:20:33.033
<v Speaker 2>I don't think he I think that twenty six year

0:20:33.034 --> 0:20:35.674
<v Speaker 2>olds have damaged his reputation. I definitely do. I think

0:20:35.674 --> 0:20:38.073
<v Speaker 2>that I'm particularly among younger women. That's the only thing

0:20:38.114 --> 0:20:40.834
<v Speaker 2>they'd know about Leonardo DiCaprio is that he dates twenty

0:20:40.874 --> 0:20:43.234
<v Speaker 2>six year olds. I think there is a tarnish to

0:20:43.314 --> 0:20:45.274
<v Speaker 2>him from that he's seeing. There's a bit sad.

0:20:45.434 --> 0:20:48.474
<v Speaker 3>I reckon Timmy will have his moment. I don't think

0:20:48.514 --> 0:20:51.794
<v Speaker 3>this was his moment because I don't think he was

0:20:51.914 --> 0:20:54.914
<v Speaker 3>the best actor like him. Losing could have been. Yes,

0:20:55.074 --> 0:20:58.954
<v Speaker 3>the whole publicity train and how it got derailed, all

0:20:58.994 --> 0:21:01.114
<v Speaker 3>of that, But I do think Michael B. Jordan was

0:21:01.114 --> 0:21:02.033
<v Speaker 3>better and heved it.

0:21:02.114 --> 0:21:04.194
<v Speaker 2>You're right. I don't mean in any way for this

0:21:04.274 --> 0:21:06.954
<v Speaker 2>comp like for this Chalamagne nomination to make it sound

0:21:07.434 --> 0:21:10.273
<v Speaker 2>Michael B. Jordan's somehow Brad breathed this. Of course he didn't.

0:21:10.434 --> 0:21:14.073
<v Speaker 2>He absolutely deserved it. But it's just interesting how quickly

0:21:14.114 --> 0:21:17.714
<v Speaker 2>the narrative turned. It was very much schaalamey chalamey, chalomay,

0:21:18.114 --> 0:21:19.674
<v Speaker 2>and then it was very much oh no, no, no,

0:21:19.674 --> 0:21:21.954
<v Speaker 2>no no. You know. So it's I think that justice

0:21:21.954 --> 0:21:24.073
<v Speaker 2>has been served in that as much as you can

0:21:24.114 --> 0:21:27.194
<v Speaker 2>have a conpept performances and anything like Michael B. Jordan's amazing,

0:21:27.754 --> 0:21:30.513
<v Speaker 2>but the backlash of Chala May is very interesting and

0:21:30.714 --> 0:21:31.954
<v Speaker 2>very Kardashi encoded.

0:21:31.994 --> 0:21:35.434
<v Speaker 3>I think, Yes, I saw a behind the scenes ish

0:21:35.554 --> 0:21:40.114
<v Speaker 3>clip of Timothy seeing your sister and so she comes

0:21:40.154 --> 0:21:43.474
<v Speaker 3>Ballerina his Ballerina's sister comes and says hi to him

0:21:43.474 --> 0:21:46.314
<v Speaker 3>in the front row, and yeah, the interaction of doing

0:21:46.314 --> 0:21:48.954
<v Speaker 3>her Kylie's awkward, That's all I'll say. But I think

0:21:48.954 --> 0:21:50.434
<v Speaker 3>there's some awkwardness in the family.

0:21:51.034 --> 0:21:53.114
<v Speaker 2>What else did we love? Slashd not love.

0:21:53.194 --> 0:21:55.554
<v Speaker 3>What I loved from like a Shade and Freud perspective

0:21:56.034 --> 0:21:59.754
<v Speaker 3>was during the Sinner's performance I Lied to You, which

0:21:59.794 --> 0:22:04.314
<v Speaker 3>was bloody brilliant. There's a very talented balot dancer, mister Copen, Yes,

0:22:04.674 --> 0:22:07.674
<v Speaker 3>and Timmy's in the front row, and I thought that

0:22:07.714 --> 0:22:10.114
<v Speaker 3>was a very big reminder that it's like ballets in

0:22:10.154 --> 0:22:10.914
<v Speaker 3>your face, buddy.

0:22:10.954 --> 0:22:15.754
<v Speaker 1>And I loved seeing the Bridesmaid's cast get back together

0:22:15.914 --> 0:22:19.474
<v Speaker 1>again and they were so funny when they walked on stage,

0:22:19.474 --> 0:22:22.114
<v Speaker 1>they were all doing that cheesy pointing into the audience

0:22:22.154 --> 0:22:24.273
<v Speaker 1>that politicians do. That was a real highlight.

0:22:24.434 --> 0:22:26.474
<v Speaker 2>And it wasn't that like a glimpse in a way

0:22:26.634 --> 0:22:29.754
<v Speaker 2>of what the hosting gig could be. And I think

0:22:29.794 --> 0:22:31.794
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people don't want that job is the truth.

0:22:31.874 --> 0:22:35.714
<v Speaker 2>But like those women standing on stage they introduced two awards,

0:22:35.754 --> 0:22:39.313
<v Speaker 2>they were funnier and fresher and smarter in those moments.

0:22:39.354 --> 0:22:41.234
<v Speaker 2>The first one was this stick that they were pretending

0:22:41.234 --> 0:22:42.954
<v Speaker 2>they had notes from people in the crowd. It was

0:22:43.034 --> 0:22:46.354
<v Speaker 2>just very funny and they kept being like, you look

0:22:46.394 --> 0:22:48.634
<v Speaker 2>really beautiful, You've aged well, the things you've done to

0:22:48.674 --> 0:22:50.033
<v Speaker 2>your face are very tasteful.

0:22:50.794 --> 0:22:53.674
<v Speaker 1>Every one of those women is just the funniest personal

0:22:53.714 --> 0:22:54.674
<v Speaker 1>I know.

0:22:54.914 --> 0:22:56.474
<v Speaker 3>Give to that more of that?

0:22:56.594 --> 0:22:58.313
<v Speaker 1>Well, Tina and Amy? Do we need to go back

0:22:58.354 --> 0:22:59.634
<v Speaker 1>to Tina and Amy's true?

0:22:59.674 --> 0:23:02.554
<v Speaker 2>If that would be amazing? Who wouldn't want that? Anna

0:23:02.634 --> 0:23:06.634
<v Speaker 2>wind Tour without her glasses. I had to call Amelia

0:23:06.674 --> 0:23:12.754
<v Speaker 2>over computer because Anna Wintour and Anne Hathaway presented an

0:23:12.754 --> 0:23:17.074
<v Speaker 2>award obviously a nod to the whole promotion of Devil

0:23:17.074 --> 0:23:20.314
<v Speaker 2>Wears prior of too, and Anna was not wearing her

0:23:20.394 --> 0:23:23.114
<v Speaker 2>sunglasses for the first part of it, and I was thinking,

0:23:23.154 --> 0:23:24.394
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I've even seen it.

0:23:25.194 --> 0:23:26.553
<v Speaker 1>She looked so uncomfortable.

0:23:26.634 --> 0:23:29.234
<v Speaker 3>It was an eyeball reveal and it was quiet.

0:23:29.994 --> 0:23:32.074
<v Speaker 2>And then she put them on and then she very

0:23:32.314 --> 0:23:34.033
<v Speaker 2>hilariously said thank you Emily.

0:23:35.594 --> 0:23:36.234
<v Speaker 3>That was great.

0:23:37.274 --> 0:23:40.994
<v Speaker 1>That was probably funnier than anything Condan said. I loved

0:23:41.034 --> 0:23:44.394
<v Speaker 1>Audumn girald Ar Kappor, who was the first woman and

0:23:44.474 --> 0:23:48.114
<v Speaker 1>first woman of color to win Cinematography. She stood up,

0:23:48.194 --> 0:23:52.194
<v Speaker 1>she looked so cool. She was wearing a shirt and tie. Holly,

0:23:52.274 --> 0:23:53.754
<v Speaker 1>what did you say about shirt?

0:23:53.914 --> 0:23:57.074
<v Speaker 2>I think that every like civilian who goes to the Oscars,

0:23:57.074 --> 0:23:58.794
<v Speaker 2>and there are a lot of them because they're riders

0:23:58.794 --> 0:24:01.154
<v Speaker 2>and their directors and they just don't look like movie stars,

0:24:01.474 --> 0:24:04.114
<v Speaker 2>should wear a shirt and tie because most women look

0:24:04.194 --> 0:24:06.593
<v Speaker 2>freaking awesome in a suit, and then you don't have

0:24:06.634 --> 0:24:08.754
<v Speaker 2>to worry about the fact you've got to stand next

0:24:08.794 --> 0:24:12.834
<v Speaker 2>to bloody roseburn in Emmstone. She was great, and it

0:24:12.914 --> 0:24:14.793
<v Speaker 2>was great that she's the first woman to win that,

0:24:14.874 --> 0:24:16.914
<v Speaker 2>and she thanked all the other women on the circuit.

0:24:16.914 --> 0:24:19.754
<v Speaker 2>And it's like, slowly, slowly, So did you see what

0:24:19.834 --> 0:24:23.314
<v Speaker 2>Chloe Jaw was wearing. She's the director of Hamnet and

0:24:23.354 --> 0:24:27.234
<v Speaker 2>she wore a full black gothic outfit with like a

0:24:27.354 --> 0:24:30.033
<v Speaker 2>veil to the ground and all this draping, and like

0:24:30.434 --> 0:24:32.553
<v Speaker 2>you know, women never used to even get nominated for

0:24:32.594 --> 0:24:36.474
<v Speaker 2>those awards, and she is absolutely the most talented, smart,

0:24:36.554 --> 0:24:38.834
<v Speaker 2>interesting woman and listened to lots of interviews with her,

0:24:39.034 --> 0:24:42.073
<v Speaker 2>and she just turns up like we're wearing this today,

0:24:42.594 --> 0:24:45.634
<v Speaker 2>and everybody is sure we're wearing that today.

0:24:46.394 --> 0:24:48.554
<v Speaker 1>I've got golden in my head at one best song,

0:24:48.594 --> 0:24:50.674
<v Speaker 1>and I'm not even mad about it, because who doesn't

0:24:50.714 --> 0:24:51.434
<v Speaker 1>love that song?

0:24:51.594 --> 0:24:54.234
<v Speaker 2>I know, I mean, it felt like Sinner's probably should

0:24:54.274 --> 0:24:56.593
<v Speaker 2>have won that. But at the same time, if you're

0:24:56.594 --> 0:24:59.634
<v Speaker 2>talking about scale, every five year old in the world

0:24:59.914 --> 0:25:01.634
<v Speaker 2>sung nothing else for a year.

0:25:01.714 --> 0:25:05.114
<v Speaker 1>Apparently the attendee's got wristbands that flash during the performance.

0:25:05.154 --> 0:25:07.034
<v Speaker 1>I'm just trying to figure out how I can get.

0:25:06.954 --> 0:25:09.714
<v Speaker 2>One before they got The ones in the front row

0:25:09.754 --> 0:25:12.074
<v Speaker 2>have these like wavy things, and there's a very awkward

0:25:12.234 --> 0:25:16.274
<v Speaker 2>cut to Gwyneth. Gwyneth is a very plastic white sheath

0:25:16.314 --> 0:25:18.314
<v Speaker 2>and she's like, got her little wavy thing.

0:25:18.434 --> 0:25:21.394
<v Speaker 1>Okay, was Gwyneth like talking to John Anniston about what

0:25:21.474 --> 0:25:24.634
<v Speaker 1>to wear? Because it really was giving Anniston.

0:25:24.314 --> 0:25:25.874
<v Speaker 2>Wasn't it and very nineties?

0:25:26.314 --> 0:25:28.634
<v Speaker 3>I was going to say that both Gwyneth and Nicole

0:25:28.714 --> 0:25:31.794
<v Speaker 3>Kidman could have You could tell me they wore those

0:25:31.834 --> 0:25:33.394
<v Speaker 3>outfits five years.

0:25:33.274 --> 0:25:36.914
<v Speaker 1>Ago, that same feather dress before.

0:25:37.034 --> 0:25:38.274
<v Speaker 3>And like the Nudi coloris.

0:25:38.634 --> 0:25:41.513
<v Speaker 1>Maybe Gwyne was trying to channel CBK because of love Story,

0:25:41.554 --> 0:25:43.554
<v Speaker 1>But the thing is that famously those two women did

0:25:43.554 --> 0:25:44.314
<v Speaker 1>not like each other.

0:25:46.314 --> 0:25:47.273
<v Speaker 2>Has anyone got anything?

0:25:48.234 --> 0:25:53.074
<v Speaker 3>I did enjoy Rachel McAdams looking like a real person

0:25:54.074 --> 0:25:56.033
<v Speaker 3>even though she was doing the in memoriam and it

0:25:56.074 --> 0:25:57.194
<v Speaker 3>was actually very sad.

0:25:57.794 --> 0:25:58.674
<v Speaker 1>For Diane Keaton.

0:25:58.834 --> 0:26:02.754
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and for Catherine O'Hara, and she did a really

0:26:02.754 --> 0:26:05.273
<v Speaker 3>good job. But I did You really do notice when

0:26:05.314 --> 0:26:07.354
<v Speaker 3>somebody looks like a real person, you go, oh, you

0:26:07.394 --> 0:26:08.274
<v Speaker 3>still have your face.

0:26:08.714 --> 0:26:11.593
<v Speaker 1>Rachel McAdams movie star. Yeah, I want to see her

0:26:11.634 --> 0:26:12.114
<v Speaker 1>all the time.

0:26:12.314 --> 0:26:13.994
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, same, more of that.

0:26:14.114 --> 0:26:16.674
<v Speaker 2>I have to give a shout out to Jesse Buckley,

0:26:16.794 --> 0:26:19.634
<v Speaker 2>who won for Hamnet, which we've talked about in the show,

0:26:19.634 --> 0:26:23.154
<v Speaker 2>a lot, devastating movie based on an incredible book. She

0:26:23.274 --> 0:26:25.714
<v Speaker 2>wins and she says it's Mother's Day in the UK.

0:26:25.834 --> 0:26:29.794
<v Speaker 5>She says, this, it's Mother's Day in the UK today,

0:26:33.954 --> 0:26:37.594
<v Speaker 5>So I would like to dedicate this to the beautiful

0:26:37.714 --> 0:26:39.394
<v Speaker 5>chaos of a mother's heart.

0:26:41.434 --> 0:26:43.273
<v Speaker 2>I have to say, I know we don't like Ernest,

0:26:43.314 --> 0:26:46.474
<v Speaker 2>but the beautiful chaos of a mother's Oh, that got me.

0:26:46.594 --> 0:26:50.074
<v Speaker 1>Can I have one more earnest moment Joa Kim Trea,

0:26:50.194 --> 0:26:53.074
<v Speaker 1>who is the director of Sentimental Value, which I only

0:26:53.154 --> 0:26:57.434
<v Speaker 1>learned about today. He gave this great political statement. He

0:26:57.554 --> 0:27:01.313
<v Speaker 1>said that all adults are responsible for all children. And

0:27:01.354 --> 0:27:04.313
<v Speaker 1>I loved that phrase. It's so true, it really is.

0:27:05.154 --> 0:27:07.154
<v Speaker 2>So there you go. We've given you the rundown. I

0:27:07.274 --> 0:27:08.793
<v Speaker 2>have to watch it tonight. If you don't want to,

0:27:09.434 --> 0:27:12.033
<v Speaker 2>maybe we've spoiled it for you. I don't enough, but hi,

0:27:12.754 --> 0:27:15.994
<v Speaker 2>bloody love the Oscars. And we'll be back tomorrow with

0:27:16.034 --> 0:27:19.834
<v Speaker 2>more Red Carpet and they'll probably be gossip, yeah, on Wednesday,

0:27:20.234 --> 0:27:23.474
<v Speaker 2>because there's always after party gossip. Did Timothy get upset?

0:27:23.874 --> 0:27:26.834
<v Speaker 2>Did he cry? Did he throw Kylie at someone? I

0:27:26.834 --> 0:27:31.593
<v Speaker 2>don't nation needs to know. After the break, you've probably

0:27:31.674 --> 0:27:35.354
<v Speaker 2>heard a lot of talk about the new Louis Thurux documentary.

0:27:35.554 --> 0:27:37.553
<v Speaker 2>So we're going to give you a cheat sheet to

0:27:37.594 --> 0:27:38.354
<v Speaker 2>the manisphere.

0:27:43.554 --> 0:27:46.353
<v Speaker 6>At Ladder's Hello it's Me or in Your Ears, and

0:27:46.394 --> 0:27:51.994
<v Speaker 6>tomorrow's subscriber episode, it's the Oscars Fashion with Me and Envy.

0:27:52.634 --> 0:27:55.194
<v Speaker 6>We have very different takes on the Red Carpet. We

0:27:55.274 --> 0:27:58.154
<v Speaker 6>come at it from very different perspectives, and we're going

0:27:58.194 --> 0:28:00.754
<v Speaker 6>to share all our thoughts with you in your ears

0:28:01.074 --> 0:28:04.474
<v Speaker 6>because I do subscriber episodes twice a week Tuesdays and Thursdays,

0:28:04.674 --> 0:28:08.273
<v Speaker 6>and tomorrow's Tuesday. So if you're not already subscriber, follow

0:28:08.314 --> 0:28:10.434
<v Speaker 6>the link in the show notes to listen to Out

0:28:10.474 --> 0:28:13.434
<v Speaker 6>Loud and get Me in your Ears along with the

0:28:13.514 --> 0:28:15.474
<v Speaker 6>other glorious hosts.

0:28:17.234 --> 0:28:19.914
<v Speaker 3>The number one film on Netflix right now is a

0:28:19.954 --> 0:28:23.794
<v Speaker 3>brand new documentary by Louis Thrue called Inside the Manisphere.

0:28:23.914 --> 0:28:26.394
<v Speaker 2>I don't think Evie Magazine would like Louis through. No,

0:28:26.754 --> 0:28:28.354
<v Speaker 2>they would think he looked a little soft.

0:28:28.514 --> 0:28:30.074
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, a little soft, not very mad.

0:28:30.154 --> 0:28:34.234
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you need to tell me about this, yes, because

0:28:34.594 --> 0:28:37.994
<v Speaker 1>I have been too scared to watch it. It sounds scary,

0:28:38.074 --> 0:28:39.714
<v Speaker 1>it sounds depressing.

0:28:39.914 --> 0:28:43.074
<v Speaker 3>And I think you are with a lot of people

0:28:43.114 --> 0:28:47.434
<v Speaker 3>who are turning away from this because it seems overwhelming.

0:28:48.074 --> 0:28:51.794
<v Speaker 3>I will say one thing that I particularly loved about

0:28:51.794 --> 0:28:55.714
<v Speaker 3>it and didn't expect is it's funny. It makes you laugh. Louis,

0:28:56.274 --> 0:28:59.834
<v Speaker 3>there's such clever devices in finding the humor and the

0:28:59.874 --> 0:29:03.034
<v Speaker 3>irony in these men. I laughed out loud several times

0:29:03.074 --> 0:29:05.554
<v Speaker 3>in the first few minutes, so that helps with the

0:29:05.594 --> 0:29:06.594
<v Speaker 3>existential dread.

0:29:06.674 --> 0:29:08.874
<v Speaker 1>And I want you do explain to me what it

0:29:08.954 --> 0:29:11.434
<v Speaker 1>says about the Manisphere, But then we need to get

0:29:11.474 --> 0:29:14.034
<v Speaker 1>to the fact that you've told me that the ultimate

0:29:14.114 --> 0:29:16.154
<v Speaker 1>lessons of it are not what I might expect.

0:29:16.234 --> 0:29:20.954
<v Speaker 3>Yes, exactly so. For those who aren't acquainted, Loui has

0:29:20.994 --> 0:29:24.194
<v Speaker 3>been a journalist and a broadcaster for decades and he

0:29:24.274 --> 0:29:28.834
<v Speaker 3>does documentaries about extreme subcultures, so from neo Nazis to

0:29:28.834 --> 0:29:32.354
<v Speaker 3>porn stars to scientologists, serial killers, yep, all of them.

0:29:33.194 --> 0:29:35.714
<v Speaker 3>Now he's joined his attention to what he says is

0:29:35.754 --> 0:29:38.834
<v Speaker 3>in some ways a bit of an amalgamation of several

0:29:38.874 --> 0:29:42.714
<v Speaker 3>of those subcultures, which is the online world of the Manisphere.

0:29:43.434 --> 0:29:45.354
<v Speaker 3>If there was a King of the Manisphere, it would

0:29:45.354 --> 0:29:46.674
<v Speaker 3>probably be Andrew Tate.

0:29:47.154 --> 0:29:50.394
<v Speaker 2>And yes, he's probably the name that most people would

0:29:50.434 --> 0:29:51.514
<v Speaker 2>be most familiar with.

0:29:51.714 --> 0:29:54.794
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and the vibe there is very far right politically

0:29:55.274 --> 0:29:59.314
<v Speaker 3>advocating for traditional values, while also being surrounded by a

0:29:59.354 --> 0:30:02.314
<v Speaker 3>lot of gyrating naked women, which seems to be at.

0:30:02.554 --> 0:30:08.714
<v Speaker 2>Getting arrested quite often sphere people quite often.

0:30:08.554 --> 0:30:11.474
<v Speaker 3>All of that, but profiting from women's sex work while

0:30:11.554 --> 0:30:15.754
<v Speaker 3>outwardly being disgusted by it seems to be a common thing.

0:30:16.634 --> 0:30:20.154
<v Speaker 3>They're also pretty much always selling something for Andrew Tate.

0:30:20.234 --> 0:30:22.674
<v Speaker 1>Its courses are the courses in.

0:30:23.114 --> 0:30:27.314
<v Speaker 3>He did one that was in teaching people how to

0:30:27.434 --> 0:30:30.114
<v Speaker 3>get a girlfriend, then get that girlfriend to be a

0:30:30.154 --> 0:30:32.514
<v Speaker 3>cam girl, and then take her money from her being

0:30:32.514 --> 0:30:35.754
<v Speaker 3>a cam girl. Then later yeah, there's a course.

0:30:35.834 --> 0:30:38.034
<v Speaker 2>But they also do lots of these guys in general,

0:30:38.154 --> 0:30:42.114
<v Speaker 2>lots of courses about finance, crypto pt were, lots of

0:30:42.154 --> 0:30:46.274
<v Speaker 2>training and nutrition and workout stuff, lots of pyramids sounding

0:30:46.794 --> 0:30:50.874
<v Speaker 2>like investment schemes because it's all about getting rich and

0:30:50.954 --> 0:30:52.634
<v Speaker 2>ripped and getting the ladies.

0:30:52.714 --> 0:30:57.594
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and then the ideas weirdly tend to enter the

0:30:57.594 --> 0:31:02.674
<v Speaker 3>realm of blatant anti semitism, homophobia, misogyny, and violence against women.

0:31:02.754 --> 0:31:05.594
<v Speaker 3>It seems to be a gateway to that. So Louis

0:31:05.634 --> 0:31:09.194
<v Speaker 3>didn't get access to Tate because Andrew Tate wanted to

0:31:09.234 --> 0:31:12.874
<v Speaker 3>be paid, and then he ended up sending Louis a

0:31:12.914 --> 0:31:16.514
<v Speaker 3>graph of how googled he is compared to how googled

0:31:16.714 --> 0:31:20.754
<v Speaker 3>Louis is and saying haha, see I'm more relevant than you,

0:31:20.794 --> 0:31:22.794
<v Speaker 3>which it's like, maybe people know who Louis throw is

0:31:22.794 --> 0:31:24.714
<v Speaker 3>so they didn't need to google him. But anyway, he

0:31:24.834 --> 0:31:26.514
<v Speaker 3>did get access defensive much.

0:31:27.114 --> 0:31:28.674
<v Speaker 1>I'm not getting arrested in Romania.

0:31:29.834 --> 0:31:31.914
<v Speaker 3>I know he's not really in the headlines, but he

0:31:31.954 --> 0:31:34.674
<v Speaker 3>did get access to twenty four year old Harris and

0:31:34.674 --> 0:31:37.074
<v Speaker 3>Sullivan known as HS Tiki Talkie.

0:31:38.274 --> 0:31:39.714
<v Speaker 2>He's so young, he's English.

0:31:39.834 --> 0:31:42.834
<v Speaker 3>It's just I hadn't heard of him, and I liked

0:31:42.874 --> 0:31:46.074
<v Speaker 3>it that way. His whole philosophy is broadly, I coach

0:31:46.154 --> 0:31:48.594
<v Speaker 3>boys how to be fucking boys, not these soy boy

0:31:48.634 --> 0:31:58.354
<v Speaker 3>gimps who walk around in the modern day.

0:31:55.634 --> 0:31:58.674
<v Speaker 1>Famously unsuccessful, really unsuccessful.

0:31:58.714 --> 0:32:02.394
<v Speaker 2>With him, particularly the kind of women, particularly put.

0:32:02.234 --> 0:32:04.474
<v Speaker 1>Onto high value.

0:32:04.114 --> 0:32:05.634
<v Speaker 2>Charlamagne, Neaver gets those women.

0:32:06.514 --> 0:32:10.954
<v Speaker 3>Throw also meets Justin Waller, whose marriage is one of

0:32:11.154 --> 0:32:12.554
<v Speaker 3>one way non monogamy.

0:32:12.674 --> 0:32:15.754
<v Speaker 1>You can guess which way, meet his wife.

0:32:16.194 --> 0:32:19.074
<v Speaker 2>Yes, he meet his wife and his children to a point.

0:32:18.954 --> 0:32:23.354
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, as well as American streamers Myron Gaines and Sneako.

0:32:23.674 --> 0:32:25.954
<v Speaker 3>And the most powerful parts of those interactions are the

0:32:25.954 --> 0:32:30.154
<v Speaker 3>moments he spends with the women in their lives. I think, but.

0:32:30.434 --> 0:32:32.394
<v Speaker 1>Why do the women stay with these men?

0:32:32.594 --> 0:32:36.354
<v Speaker 3>Well, good question, Louis asked them. And what's interesting is

0:32:36.394 --> 0:32:40.634
<v Speaker 3>how quickly the men, very slowly back down from all

0:32:40.754 --> 0:32:44.274
<v Speaker 3>their proclamations as soon as the woman is next to them,

0:32:44.474 --> 0:32:48.994
<v Speaker 3>and in every instance the man then tries there's a

0:32:48.994 --> 0:32:50.874
<v Speaker 3>whole blow up because the man then tries to get

0:32:50.874 --> 0:32:53.154
<v Speaker 3>the woman to stop being on camera and stop talking

0:32:53.794 --> 0:32:55.714
<v Speaker 3>because they can tell that it's.

0:32:55.714 --> 0:32:58.914
<v Speaker 1>Because it's all basically kind of like a show that

0:32:58.914 --> 0:33:00.794
<v Speaker 1>they're putting on to make money exactly.

0:33:01.714 --> 0:33:05.194
<v Speaker 3>Louis since has done several interviews, and his takeaway is

0:33:05.314 --> 0:33:10.474
<v Speaker 3>very interesting and matches my own, which is that despite

0:33:10.554 --> 0:33:13.954
<v Speaker 3>how sickening these views are and how shocking these men are,

0:33:14.794 --> 0:33:18.354
<v Speaker 3>there are a few tiny little snippets of hope to

0:33:18.434 --> 0:33:22.634
<v Speaker 3>be taken from the documentary. Holly, you watched the documentary

0:33:22.634 --> 0:33:25.194
<v Speaker 3>with Brent, I did? What did you take away from it?

0:33:25.314 --> 0:33:27.714
<v Speaker 2>Well, one of the things very early on, because obviously

0:33:27.754 --> 0:33:30.634
<v Speaker 2>I know about this world because of my job and

0:33:30.754 --> 0:33:32.874
<v Speaker 2>I live on the internet stuff. Brent doesn't really know

0:33:32.914 --> 0:33:35.554
<v Speaker 2>about this world, you know, he's a gen X man

0:33:35.594 --> 0:33:38.234
<v Speaker 2>who doesn't really have I'm always trying to because we

0:33:38.274 --> 0:33:40.194
<v Speaker 2>have a teenage son. I'm always trying to be like,

0:33:40.274 --> 0:33:43.194
<v Speaker 2>you need to get across it. And his view, like Amelia's,

0:33:43.394 --> 0:33:44.794
<v Speaker 2>is yuck, no.

0:33:44.874 --> 0:33:46.834
<v Speaker 3>Thanks, leave me alone.

0:33:47.114 --> 0:33:49.114
<v Speaker 2>But I made him watch it. I sat him down

0:33:49.114 --> 0:33:50.714
<v Speaker 2>as I were watching it. That's the same thing I

0:33:50.754 --> 0:33:52.914
<v Speaker 2>did with adolescence. I said, I don't care. I want

0:33:52.914 --> 0:33:55.074
<v Speaker 2>to hear about it watching it. He made it through

0:33:55.074 --> 0:33:57.154
<v Speaker 2>one of the adolescence, but he didn't make it through

0:33:57.154 --> 0:33:59.954
<v Speaker 2>all of Louis. And very quickly he said, and he's

0:33:59.994 --> 0:34:01.154
<v Speaker 2>just right, they're just salesman.

0:34:01.234 --> 0:34:03.394
<v Speaker 1>And then I can go and watch is It Cake together?

0:34:06.474 --> 0:34:07.074
<v Speaker 1>Brent would love.

0:34:08.674 --> 0:34:10.993
<v Speaker 2>Very quickly, he said, they're just salesman, and they it

0:34:11.114 --> 0:34:14.154
<v Speaker 2>is very apparent, very quickly that they are. So you know,

0:34:14.274 --> 0:34:16.274
<v Speaker 2>we've already covered the fact that they're all selling something.

0:34:16.314 --> 0:34:19.194
<v Speaker 2>They're all selling like my Krypto scheme, my investment tips,

0:34:19.234 --> 0:34:23.634
<v Speaker 2>my workout plan, and they've just mastered the new economy,

0:34:23.674 --> 0:34:25.674
<v Speaker 2>which is that you use social media for that, you

0:34:25.794 --> 0:34:28.194
<v Speaker 2>use YouTube for that. You make your content more and

0:34:28.234 --> 0:34:31.714
<v Speaker 2>more and more outrageous. To gain the algorithm, the content

0:34:31.834 --> 0:34:36.434
<v Speaker 2>has to be absolutely shocking. They say the most outrageous things,

0:34:36.434 --> 0:34:39.434
<v Speaker 2>but few of them seem to actually believe or stand

0:34:39.434 --> 0:34:42.594
<v Speaker 2>by very much of what they say. They believe when challenged.

0:34:42.954 --> 0:34:45.794
<v Speaker 2>So it's a difficult watch because you have to listen

0:34:45.834 --> 0:34:48.594
<v Speaker 2>to this awfulness. And there is a point in it

0:34:48.634 --> 0:34:51.114
<v Speaker 2>where it does take this dark turn where Louie's out

0:34:51.154 --> 0:34:53.714
<v Speaker 2>with them on a night where Tiki Toki or whatever

0:34:53.714 --> 0:34:57.154
<v Speaker 2>we're supposed to call him, basically sets his goons on

0:34:57.754 --> 0:35:01.754
<v Speaker 2>young men who they've lured to spots with a gay

0:35:01.874 --> 0:35:04.873
<v Speaker 2>dating app, and they're like, we're catching pedophiles. Like it

0:35:04.914 --> 0:35:08.674
<v Speaker 2>gets really grim. There's a so caught on camera when

0:35:08.674 --> 0:35:11.234
<v Speaker 2>it spirals into anti semitism and stuff, there is no

0:35:11.354 --> 0:35:15.714
<v Speaker 2>question it gets very scary. But the guys themselves are

0:35:15.794 --> 0:35:18.794
<v Speaker 2>not scary. They are like I just found every one

0:35:18.834 --> 0:35:21.714
<v Speaker 2>of them, and so did. Brent like to be sad

0:35:21.794 --> 0:35:25.114
<v Speaker 2>and pathetic, but I do want to pick a little bit.

0:35:25.154 --> 0:35:27.034
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I know that you worship the ground that

0:35:27.074 --> 0:35:29.954
<v Speaker 2>Louis throw walks on. You always have. I do question,

0:35:29.994 --> 0:35:31.634
<v Speaker 2>and I'm saying a bit of this commentary whether his

0:35:32.394 --> 0:35:37.034
<v Speaker 2>documentary style, which has always been I stand back, I record.

0:35:37.074 --> 0:35:39.634
<v Speaker 2>I'm kind of there, and I'm kind of I'm in it,

0:35:39.754 --> 0:35:41.954
<v Speaker 2>so I am the content, but I'm a bit separate.

0:35:41.994 --> 0:35:44.674
<v Speaker 2>I'm not here to depend it gone. So it is,

0:35:45.314 --> 0:35:47.674
<v Speaker 2>and I don't know if it works in this modern

0:35:47.714 --> 0:35:50.674
<v Speaker 2>world because every single one of these guys uses him

0:35:50.674 --> 0:35:54.154
<v Speaker 2>for content. They live stream his interviews, they get their

0:35:54.194 --> 0:35:56.913
<v Speaker 2>audiences to feed them questions they should ask him, They

0:35:56.954 --> 0:35:59.154
<v Speaker 2>mock him, they bully him. I mean, that's not you know.

0:35:59.354 --> 0:36:02.154
<v Speaker 2>I think Louis through can handle that. And towards the

0:36:02.314 --> 0:36:05.754
<v Speaker 2>end HS Tiki Taki's mother points this out to Louis.

0:36:05.794 --> 0:36:07.874
<v Speaker 2>She says, you're using my for content.

0:36:08.194 --> 0:36:09.473
<v Speaker 3>So you're making money.

0:36:09.554 --> 0:36:11.634
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and you're making money from my son, and so

0:36:11.714 --> 0:36:12.873
<v Speaker 2>he's going to do the same to you.

0:36:13.114 --> 0:36:14.434
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, his mom's involved.

0:36:15.034 --> 0:36:16.754
<v Speaker 2>Well, this is one of the things that, obviously as

0:36:16.754 --> 0:36:19.154
<v Speaker 2>a mum, got me quite upset. He says. Earlier in

0:36:19.194 --> 0:36:22.114
<v Speaker 2>the piece HS Tiki TALKI that my mom hates all

0:36:22.154 --> 0:36:24.394
<v Speaker 2>the things I say. She's a feminist and she doesn't

0:36:24.434 --> 0:36:27.634
<v Speaker 2>like racism and stuff. And then she's in it later

0:36:27.674 --> 0:36:29.393
<v Speaker 2>on and she's like, no, she doesn't like it, but

0:36:29.434 --> 0:36:31.634
<v Speaker 2>she still defends him to the hill because he's her boy.

0:36:32.314 --> 0:36:34.634
<v Speaker 2>At one point Tiki TALKI turns to his mom and says,

0:36:34.634 --> 0:36:36.873
<v Speaker 2>but mum, you don't Most women aren't like you, mum.

0:36:36.914 --> 0:36:39.554
<v Speaker 2>Most women are thick. They're really, really thick. They're not

0:36:39.674 --> 0:36:44.274
<v Speaker 2>like you. And it's just anyway. But I do think

0:36:44.354 --> 0:36:47.234
<v Speaker 2>there is a world in which Louis Throu's he's all

0:36:47.314 --> 0:36:49.474
<v Speaker 2>you know, that wasn't happening when he was embedded with

0:36:49.554 --> 0:36:52.634
<v Speaker 2>the Westboro Baptist Church, when he was interviewed in Trailing

0:36:52.634 --> 0:36:55.994
<v Speaker 2>White supremacy in the American South, he wasn't the story

0:36:55.994 --> 0:36:57.714
<v Speaker 2>in the same way that he is now. He wasn't

0:36:58.114 --> 0:37:00.433
<v Speaker 2>being exploited about it in the same way as now.

0:37:00.474 --> 0:37:03.674
<v Speaker 2>And it's I just think it's changed that game. And

0:37:03.954 --> 0:37:05.594
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how helpful it is.

0:37:05.954 --> 0:37:10.393
<v Speaker 3>I think though, that is the power of documentary and

0:37:10.434 --> 0:37:14.274
<v Speaker 3>the power of him, and the fact that he has

0:37:14.394 --> 0:37:17.394
<v Speaker 3>always just given people enough rope and he's not going

0:37:17.434 --> 0:37:23.514
<v Speaker 3>in and outwardly condemning them or outwardly even you know,

0:37:23.594 --> 0:37:28.433
<v Speaker 3>being super adversarial. I think that is actually stronger because

0:37:28.474 --> 0:37:30.554
<v Speaker 3>it allows us to really see what's beneath it.

0:37:30.594 --> 0:37:31.474
<v Speaker 1>And when we saw what was.

0:37:31.474 --> 0:37:36.274
<v Speaker 3>Beneath it, it wasn't as scary as I think they backed down. Really,

0:37:36.714 --> 0:37:37.594
<v Speaker 3>I don't know what you mean.

0:37:37.634 --> 0:37:41.714
<v Speaker 2>But also his strength used to be that he walks

0:37:41.714 --> 0:37:44.234
<v Speaker 2>them into a trap where they'll say something outrageous or

0:37:44.274 --> 0:37:46.473
<v Speaker 2>let an inside thought be an outside thought. But that's

0:37:46.794 --> 0:37:48.913
<v Speaker 2>what these guys do all day, every day. It's just

0:37:49.034 --> 0:37:52.194
<v Speaker 2>say awful stuff. Louis doesn't have to tempt them to

0:37:52.194 --> 0:37:54.634
<v Speaker 2>say anything awful. He doesn't have to trap them. In fact,

0:37:54.994 --> 0:37:57.554
<v Speaker 2>he has to become complicit. There's a really disturbed One

0:37:57.594 --> 0:37:59.954
<v Speaker 2>of the most disturbing parts for me is when he

0:38:00.074 --> 0:38:03.594
<v Speaker 2>goes on the podcast of one of the guys I

0:38:03.594 --> 0:38:07.393
<v Speaker 2>think it's Myron Gaines, who's a really disturbing character. One

0:38:07.434 --> 0:38:09.994
<v Speaker 2>of the things he does on his podcast YouTube stream

0:38:10.394 --> 0:38:12.794
<v Speaker 2>is he gets women, many of whom are like content

0:38:12.834 --> 0:38:14.714
<v Speaker 2>creator or only fans content creators, to come on the

0:38:14.754 --> 0:38:17.514
<v Speaker 2>podcast and he humiliates them. So he'll ask them general

0:38:17.554 --> 0:38:19.074
<v Speaker 2>knowledge questions that he knows they're not going to be

0:38:19.074 --> 0:38:21.634
<v Speaker 2>the answer to, and then he'll mock them, talk about

0:38:21.634 --> 0:38:24.834
<v Speaker 2>their body count, just be generally gross and spread lots

0:38:24.834 --> 0:38:27.914
<v Speaker 2>of misinformation, and Louis has to be on that show

0:38:28.114 --> 0:38:30.674
<v Speaker 2>and he can't really. I just I don't know.

0:38:31.634 --> 0:38:35.074
<v Speaker 1>It's not just platforming, it's kind of like spurring them on,

0:38:35.234 --> 0:38:37.834
<v Speaker 1>like giving them content. Is that the critique?

0:38:38.274 --> 0:38:41.794
<v Speaker 2>I just found that very I felt like he was

0:38:42.234 --> 0:38:44.593
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to patronize through he's, you know, master

0:38:44.674 --> 0:38:47.474
<v Speaker 2>of his art, but I think these guys are playing

0:38:47.514 --> 0:38:48.594
<v Speaker 2>a different game to him.

0:38:48.954 --> 0:38:51.234
<v Speaker 3>But I think that he is a great lens to

0:38:51.314 --> 0:38:53.514
<v Speaker 3>see that because I think that the game they're playing

0:38:53.994 --> 0:38:55.074
<v Speaker 3>is the Donald Trump game?

0:38:55.314 --> 0:38:55.953
<v Speaker 2>Oh very much.

0:38:56.514 --> 0:38:59.553
<v Speaker 3>Ask me a question, and what I'll do is I'll

0:38:59.554 --> 0:39:02.433
<v Speaker 3>bring up your biggest vulnerability and I'll make you feel

0:39:02.474 --> 0:39:06.873
<v Speaker 3>embarrassed and so on that podcast when Louie's on it,

0:39:06.874 --> 0:39:09.554
<v Speaker 3>I think him being there was excellent because I didn't

0:39:09.554 --> 0:39:12.234
<v Speaker 3>know that this is law in the manisphere. I would

0:39:12.234 --> 0:39:14.354
<v Speaker 3>love to know if you've heard this, Amelia, did you

0:39:14.514 --> 0:39:18.154
<v Speaker 3>know that? Apparently if you've slept with more people than

0:39:18.154 --> 0:39:22.074
<v Speaker 3>your husband, then it's very scientific. But your body hangs

0:39:22.154 --> 0:39:25.594
<v Speaker 3>on to the genes of the other men you've had

0:39:25.754 --> 0:39:29.074
<v Speaker 3>heard and so when you have a baby, that's why

0:39:29.274 --> 0:39:31.114
<v Speaker 3>your baby can look like your ex.

0:39:31.234 --> 0:39:35.234
<v Speaker 1>Because your body is hanging onto the genetic material. That

0:39:35.354 --> 0:39:35.953
<v Speaker 1>sounds legit.

0:39:36.194 --> 0:39:36.594
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And.

0:39:38.794 --> 0:39:40.634
<v Speaker 2>Yet it's the women on this show who are dumb

0:39:40.674 --> 0:39:43.274
<v Speaker 2>according to him. According to Marine Gaines, he's like, these

0:39:43.314 --> 0:39:45.754
<v Speaker 2>women don't know what the capital of Bulgaria is and

0:39:45.834 --> 0:39:48.513
<v Speaker 2>yet over here we've got to the DNA of every

0:39:48.514 --> 0:39:49.474
<v Speaker 2>man we've anyway.

0:39:49.834 --> 0:39:53.433
<v Speaker 3>But Louis's reaction to that is because Louis laughs out

0:39:53.434 --> 0:39:56.913
<v Speaker 3>loud and he says, this is the misinformation, like this

0:39:57.034 --> 0:39:58.513
<v Speaker 3>is hell, but is that good?

0:39:58.834 --> 0:40:01.513
<v Speaker 1>Like now that we're talking about this because he drew

0:40:01.514 --> 0:40:04.154
<v Speaker 1>our attention to it. I don't know if that's like good.

0:40:04.634 --> 0:40:08.674
<v Speaker 3>I think being able to laugh about it puts it

0:40:08.714 --> 0:40:11.914
<v Speaker 3>in a different context to how.

0:40:13.594 --> 0:40:16.714
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah, yeah, I as I say. In some ways,

0:40:16.714 --> 0:40:19.194
<v Speaker 2>I found this much less scary than I thought, because

0:40:19.274 --> 0:40:22.634
<v Speaker 2>they do all appear to be just fasarts, you know,

0:40:22.794 --> 0:40:24.953
<v Speaker 2>just just empty salesmen, like the equivalent of the guy

0:40:25.074 --> 0:40:26.634
<v Speaker 2>used to come and try and sell you a used

0:40:26.674 --> 0:40:29.954
<v Speaker 2>car or whatever. And they don't care at all about

0:40:29.954 --> 0:40:32.154
<v Speaker 2>the ideology. None of these guys seem to care even

0:40:32.154 --> 0:40:34.393
<v Speaker 2>a little bit about the ideology they're peddling. But the

0:40:34.394 --> 0:40:37.234
<v Speaker 2>problem is their followers probably do buy into it. And

0:40:37.234 --> 0:40:39.634
<v Speaker 2>that was confronting. But then the other thing was is

0:40:39.674 --> 0:40:41.554
<v Speaker 2>I was telling Amelia about it this morning, and I

0:40:41.594 --> 0:40:44.714
<v Speaker 2>was saying, all these guys are all so unseerious. They

0:40:44.714 --> 0:40:47.154
<v Speaker 2>can't stand by a single thing they said At the NDHS.

0:40:47.194 --> 0:40:50.594
<v Speaker 2>Tickie Talkie is saying, yeah, I said, I hate Jews,

0:40:50.914 --> 0:40:53.074
<v Speaker 2>but I don't, like, I'm not anti Semitic. I just

0:40:53.074 --> 0:40:56.154
<v Speaker 2>say that, and I say I hate gay people, but hey,

0:40:56.274 --> 0:40:58.594
<v Speaker 2>that guy over there, he's gazed. But like, they can't

0:40:58.634 --> 0:41:00.754
<v Speaker 2>stand by a single thing they're not serious people. And

0:41:00.794 --> 0:41:02.714
<v Speaker 2>I said that to Melia and she said.

0:41:02.834 --> 0:41:05.274
<v Speaker 1>No, one's serious anymore. And it got me thinking about

0:41:05.314 --> 0:41:06.993
<v Speaker 1>the fact that I remember when in the early days

0:41:06.994 --> 0:41:10.354
<v Speaker 1>of Twitter everyone had in their bios rts do not

0:41:10.514 --> 0:41:13.794
<v Speaker 1>equal endorsements. Retweets do not equal endorsements. The idea was

0:41:13.874 --> 0:41:16.914
<v Speaker 1>that if you posted something that someone else said posted,

0:41:16.994 --> 0:41:18.953
<v Speaker 1>you weren't saying you agreed with it. You just thought

0:41:18.994 --> 0:41:21.194
<v Speaker 1>it was important to get that idea into the circulation.

0:41:21.314 --> 0:41:23.834
<v Speaker 1>For whatever reason. It was newsworthy, it was provocative, it

0:41:23.874 --> 0:41:27.553
<v Speaker 1>was interesting. But I think the issue now is that

0:41:27.674 --> 0:41:32.474
<v Speaker 1>we are being led and influenced and governed by people

0:41:32.514 --> 0:41:35.394
<v Speaker 1>who don't believe what they're peddling and are just saying

0:41:35.434 --> 0:41:38.834
<v Speaker 1>it to get attention. But the line between just saying

0:41:38.874 --> 0:41:42.234
<v Speaker 1>it and living it has gotten completely blurred.

0:41:42.714 --> 0:41:46.834
<v Speaker 3>Agree. Agree, And that's exactly what Louis has said in

0:41:46.834 --> 0:41:51.194
<v Speaker 3>interviews since that that line is really really unclear, and

0:41:51.234 --> 0:41:55.554
<v Speaker 3>that these ideas have been around. You could recite what

0:41:55.594 --> 0:41:58.674
<v Speaker 3>these men say. It's been around for decades and decades,

0:41:59.154 --> 0:42:01.953
<v Speaker 3>but they were in like pick up artist books where

0:42:01.994 --> 0:42:05.114
<v Speaker 3>maybe some ice man and all that. Yes, however, many

0:42:05.154 --> 0:42:08.274
<v Speaker 3>people would read them. The problem now is that the

0:42:08.274 --> 0:42:11.033
<v Speaker 3>more radical you are, and the more extreme you are,

0:42:11.354 --> 0:42:13.514
<v Speaker 3>and the more offensive you are, the more attention, the

0:42:13.514 --> 0:42:14.433
<v Speaker 3>more attention you get.

0:42:14.594 --> 0:42:16.314
<v Speaker 2>And it doesn't really matter in a way if you

0:42:16.354 --> 0:42:19.593
<v Speaker 2>don't believe theti Semitic bullshit you're spouting, if it's all

0:42:19.674 --> 0:42:22.274
<v Speaker 2>out there and getting shared and disseminated.

0:42:21.834 --> 0:42:26.354
<v Speaker 3>Exactly, and so basically Lewis's point that he said in

0:42:26.394 --> 0:42:30.674
<v Speaker 3>these interviews is that it's really a question of policy

0:42:30.914 --> 0:42:33.754
<v Speaker 3>and of algorithms, which is interesting because Australia is trying

0:42:33.794 --> 0:42:37.194
<v Speaker 3>to do that and I kind of think, I don't

0:42:37.234 --> 0:42:37.954
<v Speaker 3>know if it's working.

0:42:37.994 --> 0:42:39.314
<v Speaker 2>I bet a lot of people who are listening to

0:42:39.354 --> 0:42:41.714
<v Speaker 2>this are like, I've got a son, Should I watch it?

0:42:41.714 --> 0:42:42.794
<v Speaker 2>Should I watch it with them?

0:42:42.914 --> 0:42:43.274
<v Speaker 1>Whatever?

0:42:43.474 --> 0:42:45.594
<v Speaker 2>I have a son who's in this bull's eye. All

0:42:45.634 --> 0:42:47.953
<v Speaker 2>the people who came up to these guys, by the way,

0:42:47.994 --> 0:42:50.913
<v Speaker 2>because they're quite big celebrities in their world, were young,

0:42:50.994 --> 0:42:53.314
<v Speaker 2>mostly young. Lots of young boys and some young men

0:42:53.514 --> 0:42:57.433
<v Speaker 2>really like young, like twelve like young come up and

0:42:57.434 --> 0:42:59.234
<v Speaker 2>they all want their picture taker work them, and they

0:42:59.314 --> 0:43:02.114
<v Speaker 2>all want them to do various in cell signs and stuff.

0:43:02.674 --> 0:43:04.794
<v Speaker 3>There's no forty year old men who are like, hey,

0:43:04.954 --> 0:43:06.914
<v Speaker 3>just tiktoki, here's my son like that.

0:43:09.034 --> 0:43:12.274
<v Speaker 2>But it did give me some good jumping off points

0:43:12.274 --> 0:43:15.154
<v Speaker 2>for conversations with my son about it, and one of

0:43:15.194 --> 0:43:17.433
<v Speaker 2>them was very much about, how have you noticed that

0:43:17.474 --> 0:43:20.234
<v Speaker 2>all these guys are in order to inflate because they're

0:43:20.274 --> 0:43:22.234
<v Speaker 2>basically praying on young men who feel like they've got

0:43:22.274 --> 0:43:25.834
<v Speaker 2>no economic future in various ways. Is there anyone who's

0:43:25.874 --> 0:43:27.913
<v Speaker 2>telling you they can blow you up by putting other

0:43:27.914 --> 0:43:30.393
<v Speaker 2>people down? That should always be a red flag. But

0:43:31.074 --> 0:43:34.194
<v Speaker 2>I think that if you're not familiar with this world,

0:43:34.794 --> 0:43:38.394
<v Speaker 2>it is a really informative watch. If you've got kids

0:43:38.434 --> 0:43:40.554
<v Speaker 2>who are swimming in this world, or indeed, if you

0:43:40.594 --> 0:43:43.114
<v Speaker 2>want to understand what Tyson on Maps is consuming in

0:43:43.154 --> 0:43:45.834
<v Speaker 2>his spare time. I think he's probably got some money

0:43:45.834 --> 0:43:47.874
<v Speaker 2>invested in hs tiki Talki's.

0:43:47.594 --> 0:43:52.954
<v Speaker 3>Financial, definitely, definitely, And he I think is a testament

0:43:52.994 --> 0:43:56.393
<v Speaker 3>to the fact that people really do recite these views. Yeah,

0:43:56.394 --> 0:43:58.354
<v Speaker 3>he's actually a little bit old for the demo, The

0:43:58.594 --> 0:44:02.674
<v Speaker 3>Bloody Tyson, I do reckon. What Louie was very good

0:44:02.674 --> 0:44:05.594
<v Speaker 3>at exposing was that at the underbelly of all of

0:44:05.594 --> 0:44:10.033
<v Speaker 3>this is selling stuff to teenagers. And so you say,

0:44:10.034 --> 0:44:13.433
<v Speaker 3>Holly that your flag is for your son is going

0:44:13.514 --> 0:44:15.834
<v Speaker 3>to be If they're trying to put other people down.

0:44:16.034 --> 0:44:20.194
<v Speaker 3>My flag, yeah, my flag is always are they selling

0:44:20.194 --> 0:44:23.074
<v Speaker 3>you something? If someone's telling you a really extreme thing

0:44:23.674 --> 0:44:28.554
<v Speaker 3>and then they're saying and subscribe to my finance app

0:44:28.794 --> 0:44:31.913
<v Speaker 3>or by my course, then don't freaking well it like,

0:44:32.074 --> 0:44:33.674
<v Speaker 3>I don't believe what they're saying. They're just trying to

0:44:33.674 --> 0:44:34.434
<v Speaker 3>sell you shit.

0:44:34.274 --> 0:44:36.154
<v Speaker 2>I know. But everyone on the internet is trying to

0:44:36.194 --> 0:44:38.834
<v Speaker 2>sell you. Actually, oh god.

0:44:38.994 --> 0:44:41.714
<v Speaker 3>It's really anyway. The internet is the problem anyway.

0:44:42.394 --> 0:44:44.674
<v Speaker 2>Claire's right, there are some lolls. So if you're not

0:44:44.674 --> 0:44:47.074
<v Speaker 2>worried about the end of the world, just laugh at

0:44:47.114 --> 0:44:49.433
<v Speaker 2>these silly men. Silly silly little men.

0:44:51.114 --> 0:44:55.114
<v Speaker 1>After the break, do you have a reply only friend?

0:44:55.434 --> 0:45:06.433
<v Speaker 1>Or are you a reply only friend? The comedian Tig

0:45:06.474 --> 0:45:10.913
<v Speaker 1>Nataro was on the Best People podcast recently. This is

0:45:10.954 --> 0:45:14.354
<v Speaker 1>hosted by a news anchor called Nicole Wallace, and she

0:45:14.474 --> 0:45:17.554
<v Speaker 1>said something about friendship which really struck a chord on

0:45:17.594 --> 0:45:20.834
<v Speaker 1>the Internet. She was talking about her friendship with Cheryl Hines,

0:45:20.874 --> 0:45:22.993
<v Speaker 1>who was an actor who was in Cobe Your Enthusiasm.

0:45:23.034 --> 0:45:26.114
<v Speaker 1>She played Larry David's wife and then ex wife. She

0:45:26.274 --> 0:45:28.954
<v Speaker 1>happens to be married to RFK Junior, who is a

0:45:28.994 --> 0:45:31.594
<v Speaker 1>Trump administration official. But this is not going to be

0:45:31.634 --> 0:45:35.194
<v Speaker 1>a discussion about politics. The nature of Cheryl and Tig's

0:45:35.234 --> 0:45:37.594
<v Speaker 1>fallout they were very good friends, they are no longer

0:45:37.994 --> 0:45:43.394
<v Speaker 1>was political. But what Tiggs said on this podcast about

0:45:43.514 --> 0:45:46.154
<v Speaker 1>how they fell out, I think will resonate with a

0:45:46.194 --> 0:45:49.514
<v Speaker 1>lot of people. It certainly resonated with me. The Internet

0:45:49.594 --> 0:45:52.194
<v Speaker 1>is now calling the people that Tig describes in this

0:45:52.354 --> 0:45:55.554
<v Speaker 1>video reply only friends, and you'll see why. Let's take

0:45:55.594 --> 0:45:55.994
<v Speaker 1>a listen.

0:45:56.314 --> 0:46:01.433
<v Speaker 7>And she would respond very pleasantly, thanks lady, Oh this

0:46:01.554 --> 0:46:05.393
<v Speaker 7>means so much, and I love you and miss you

0:46:05.634 --> 0:46:09.634
<v Speaker 7>and all of that. When I realized one day she

0:46:09.714 --> 0:46:13.754
<v Speaker 7>doesn't ever reach out to me anymore. She's responds to me,

0:46:14.154 --> 0:46:18.114
<v Speaker 7>but she doesn't reach out to me, and I had

0:46:18.154 --> 0:46:22.634
<v Speaker 7>to kind of shake myself out of denial that, oh

0:46:22.754 --> 0:46:24.234
<v Speaker 7>she's she's gone.

0:46:24.714 --> 0:46:27.514
<v Speaker 1>So the term that the Internet is using to describe

0:46:27.514 --> 0:46:29.834
<v Speaker 1>this kind of person, this kind of friend, is a

0:46:29.874 --> 0:46:33.754
<v Speaker 1>reply only friend. And I got into a really interesting

0:46:33.794 --> 0:46:37.913
<v Speaker 1>conversation on Reddit about this where people were disagreeing about it.

0:46:37.954 --> 0:46:41.794
<v Speaker 1>So a lot of people said that reply only friends

0:46:42.234 --> 0:46:43.913
<v Speaker 1>are just something you've got to deal with. As you

0:46:43.954 --> 0:46:46.634
<v Speaker 1>get older, like you learn that there are people who

0:46:46.674 --> 0:46:48.314
<v Speaker 1>are just not going to put in the effort and

0:46:48.394 --> 0:46:50.474
<v Speaker 1>you just have to decide whether or not you're okay

0:46:50.514 --> 0:46:53.154
<v Speaker 1>with that. But then there were other people who were

0:46:53.194 --> 0:46:55.754
<v Speaker 1>saying that it's wrong to keep scoring this way, that

0:46:55.834 --> 0:46:57.994
<v Speaker 1>if you want to see someone and spend time with someone,

0:46:57.994 --> 0:47:00.634
<v Speaker 1>that you should do that friendship is not about tallies.

0:47:00.754 --> 0:47:03.393
<v Speaker 1>It's not about figuring out who's putting in more work

0:47:03.434 --> 0:47:06.074
<v Speaker 1>at any given time. And then there was another really

0:47:06.114 --> 0:47:08.434
<v Speaker 1>interesting point that I had a thought about in defense

0:47:08.474 --> 0:47:10.913
<v Speaker 1>of the reply only friend that said that taking that

0:47:11.034 --> 0:47:14.074
<v Speaker 1>kind of initiative is about executive functioning, and that is

0:47:14.114 --> 0:47:16.913
<v Speaker 1>something that some people have more of than others, and

0:47:16.954 --> 0:47:19.433
<v Speaker 1>it's wrong to kind of judge or to think that

0:47:19.434 --> 0:47:22.394
<v Speaker 1>that means that someone doesn't want to be friends with you. Claire,

0:47:22.514 --> 0:47:25.913
<v Speaker 1>do you think that the reply only friend phenomenon is

0:47:26.034 --> 0:47:28.674
<v Speaker 1>real or justified or do you think that some of

0:47:28.714 --> 0:47:31.034
<v Speaker 1>these other sort of defenses of the reply only friend

0:47:31.074 --> 0:47:31.834
<v Speaker 1>do hold water.

0:47:32.434 --> 0:47:35.393
<v Speaker 3>I realized when when you sent this that I am

0:47:35.434 --> 0:47:37.314
<v Speaker 3>a reply only are you?

0:47:37.594 --> 0:47:37.674
<v Speaker 2>So?

0:47:37.914 --> 0:47:39.834
<v Speaker 3>I am? I am going to defend.

0:47:39.714 --> 0:47:42.834
<v Speaker 1>Okay in defensive reply only friends good because I am

0:47:42.874 --> 0:47:44.274
<v Speaker 1>not so I want to hear the defense.

0:47:44.394 --> 0:47:46.473
<v Speaker 2>I want to hear why you don't like them though, too,

0:47:46.594 --> 0:47:47.274
<v Speaker 2>before we do.

0:47:47.234 --> 0:47:49.393
<v Speaker 1>It, because I feel the same way as Tig. I

0:47:49.434 --> 0:47:52.234
<v Speaker 1>feel like sick of always putting in the effort, and

0:47:52.314 --> 0:47:54.514
<v Speaker 1>it's hard not to take it personally when they just

0:47:55.154 --> 0:47:59.354
<v Speaker 1>never meet me and they never take the initiative with me.

0:47:59.994 --> 0:48:03.473
<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to get better as I get older, and

0:48:03.634 --> 0:48:06.954
<v Speaker 3>as I maybe get my priorities right and realize that

0:48:07.554 --> 0:48:09.834
<v Speaker 3>relationships are the most important thing in life, like all

0:48:09.874 --> 0:48:14.354
<v Speaker 3>of that stuff, and also as people go through more shit,

0:48:14.794 --> 0:48:17.154
<v Speaker 3>Like I'm very aware that you can't just be the

0:48:17.194 --> 0:48:21.154
<v Speaker 3>reply only friend when people are going through hard stuff.

0:48:21.194 --> 0:48:24.954
<v Speaker 3>You need to be reaching out. But I will say

0:48:25.314 --> 0:48:28.154
<v Speaker 3>I really agree with the point that I don't think

0:48:28.194 --> 0:48:34.074
<v Speaker 3>it's about keeping tallies. I have friendship dynamics where, for

0:48:34.114 --> 0:48:36.474
<v Speaker 3>better or worse, it is understood that I'm the reply

0:48:36.554 --> 0:48:40.194
<v Speaker 3>only friend, and I'm the reply only friend, but like,

0:48:40.274 --> 0:48:43.474
<v Speaker 3>I will show up, so it's like I'll get the invite,

0:48:43.914 --> 0:48:45.834
<v Speaker 3>but I will show up, And a lot of people

0:48:45.834 --> 0:48:49.074
<v Speaker 3>don't show up to the invite, so that's quite reliable

0:48:50.034 --> 0:48:52.393
<v Speaker 3>that I will. I will reply, but.

0:48:52.514 --> 0:48:54.794
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to get into the end less back

0:48:54.834 --> 0:48:55.514
<v Speaker 2>and forth.

0:48:55.274 --> 0:48:55.953
<v Speaker 1>About the thing.

0:48:56.354 --> 0:48:58.554
<v Speaker 3>No, and I'm not going to take the initiative of

0:48:58.634 --> 0:49:00.674
<v Speaker 3>like picking where to have don And this is the

0:49:00.714 --> 0:49:03.394
<v Speaker 3>other thing, the very intricacies. It's like, so we should

0:49:03.394 --> 0:49:05.994
<v Speaker 3>pick where we have dinner. I'm bad at that. I

0:49:06.074 --> 0:49:08.754
<v Speaker 3>will make a horrible, horrible decision. Everybody will have a

0:49:08.754 --> 0:49:12.074
<v Speaker 3>bad meal, whereas somebody else might enjoy food.

0:49:12.194 --> 0:49:15.714
<v Speaker 1>But Claire Devil's advocate, do you not think you could

0:49:15.754 --> 0:49:18.354
<v Speaker 1>be the one to say, let's have dinner, you pick

0:49:18.434 --> 0:49:19.594
<v Speaker 1>the restaurant. I'm bad at it.

0:49:19.754 --> 0:49:19.913
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:49:19.994 --> 0:49:22.873
<v Speaker 3>See, that's really that is really good, And that is

0:49:22.914 --> 0:49:25.194
<v Speaker 3>what I'm trying to get better at, is the kind

0:49:25.234 --> 0:49:30.514
<v Speaker 3>of outreach and just letting people know I'm there. But

0:49:30.754 --> 0:49:34.514
<v Speaker 3>I'm very, very bad at the making plans and the

0:49:34.674 --> 0:49:37.594
<v Speaker 3>making a call and all of that. But I also

0:49:38.314 --> 0:49:41.794
<v Speaker 3>loved Tigg says later on, and it is a bit

0:49:41.834 --> 0:49:45.393
<v Speaker 3>specific to the nature of her friendship. Breakdown a line

0:49:45.434 --> 0:49:48.514
<v Speaker 3>about people deserving a friend when they least deserve a far.

0:49:48.394 --> 0:49:51.074
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, I love this. When someone doesn't deserve a friend,

0:49:51.274 --> 0:49:54.114
<v Speaker 1>that's when they need the friend the most. And I

0:49:54.194 --> 0:49:58.473
<v Speaker 1>think that's relevant to this conversation because sometimes someone can

0:49:58.554 --> 0:50:02.274
<v Speaker 1>really be going through something and they just cannot be

0:50:02.314 --> 0:50:04.754
<v Speaker 1>there for you in the same way they cannot be

0:50:04.834 --> 0:50:07.474
<v Speaker 1>reaching out to you. And I think that's a really

0:50:07.754 --> 0:50:10.314
<v Speaker 1>valid point, and it's sort of a caveat to the

0:50:10.354 --> 0:50:13.074
<v Speaker 1>idea that reply only friends and not worth the effort.

0:50:13.434 --> 0:50:18.393
<v Speaker 3>That also goes for maybe times in people's lives where

0:50:18.394 --> 0:50:23.393
<v Speaker 3>they've made horrible mistakes, where they've behaved badly, where they

0:50:23.954 --> 0:50:28.874
<v Speaker 3>have said something stupid. And what I found interesting about

0:50:28.994 --> 0:50:32.714
<v Speaker 3>Tig's particular experience is the difference between when somebody has

0:50:33.354 --> 0:50:36.434
<v Speaker 3>maybe exposed a character flaw or a difference of opinion,

0:50:36.554 --> 0:50:40.594
<v Speaker 3>and when that becomes a fundamental clash of values. And

0:50:40.634 --> 0:50:44.754
<v Speaker 3>I think that that is kind of underlying the conversation

0:50:44.914 --> 0:50:47.554
<v Speaker 3>she's having more whereas the reply only friend is a

0:50:47.554 --> 0:50:50.954
<v Speaker 3>bit more of the surface level, Like the problem is

0:50:50.994 --> 0:50:52.954
<v Speaker 3>whether there's a fundamental clash of values.

0:50:52.994 --> 0:50:55.194
<v Speaker 2>I loved listen on last week's One of Me has

0:50:55.394 --> 0:50:58.234
<v Speaker 2>Subscribe episodes. Last week, you, Amelia and Me have talked

0:50:58.234 --> 0:51:01.314
<v Speaker 2>about friendship, including a bit of this conversation, but then

0:51:01.354 --> 0:51:03.714
<v Speaker 2>about the things you need for friendship, and it was

0:51:03.794 --> 0:51:07.274
<v Speaker 2>like proximity, live stage.

0:51:07.554 --> 0:51:09.354
<v Speaker 3>Something energy with energy.

0:51:09.474 --> 0:51:12.913
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I love this right. It did also make

0:51:12.994 --> 0:51:15.393
<v Speaker 2>me wonder listening to that conversation in whether or not

0:51:15.474 --> 0:51:18.554
<v Speaker 2>we all might have slightly different definitions of friendship and

0:51:18.634 --> 0:51:22.394
<v Speaker 2>what we want from friendships because and like you, Amelia,

0:51:22.634 --> 0:51:26.114
<v Speaker 2>my life experiences that I've spent many, many years now

0:51:26.514 --> 0:51:29.114
<v Speaker 2>in no proximity to some of my favorite people. So

0:51:29.234 --> 0:51:33.794
<v Speaker 2>I'm very comfortable with not being constantly in contact with people.

0:51:33.874 --> 0:51:36.514
<v Speaker 2>Like I. If someone I haven't spoken to for a

0:51:36.634 --> 0:51:39.114
<v Speaker 2>year messages me and says, let's have a drink, my

0:51:39.194 --> 0:51:40.314
<v Speaker 2>first thought is not, where.

0:51:40.194 --> 0:51:40.634
<v Speaker 1>Have you been?

0:51:40.994 --> 0:51:42.873
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm like, oh, that'd be great. Yeah, you know

0:51:42.874 --> 0:51:45.354
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, Like, I don't. I think there are

0:51:45.434 --> 0:51:48.594
<v Speaker 2>levels of friendship that this isn't true for, but that

0:51:48.914 --> 0:51:53.834
<v Speaker 2>in general, constant contact is not my definition of friendship,

0:51:53.994 --> 0:51:57.234
<v Speaker 2>so I don't think therefore that's why this doesn't like

0:51:57.274 --> 0:51:59.393
<v Speaker 2>reply only friends don't upset me so much because I'm

0:51:59.474 --> 0:52:02.314
<v Speaker 2>kind of like, well, who's got time to be messaging

0:52:02.354 --> 0:52:02.754
<v Speaker 2>every day?

0:52:02.834 --> 0:52:05.594
<v Speaker 1>Like that's interesting. It sparked something in me that I

0:52:05.674 --> 0:52:08.234
<v Speaker 1>have one friend who has that ladder but is not

0:52:08.434 --> 0:52:10.953
<v Speaker 1>anywhere near where I am living right now. In fact,

0:52:11.034 --> 0:52:14.714
<v Speaker 1>she's not in Australia, and she texted me this morning,

0:52:14.794 --> 0:52:18.234
<v Speaker 1>are we still doing Underwire Bras, and if you'd scrolled

0:52:18.274 --> 0:52:21.034
<v Speaker 1>up in our conversation, we probably spoke two weeks ago

0:52:21.154 --> 0:52:25.473
<v Speaker 1>about something completely different. That kind of friendship where you

0:52:25.514 --> 0:52:28.634
<v Speaker 1>can just go straight in with the random remark is

0:52:28.714 --> 0:52:31.954
<v Speaker 1>how you keep a friendship alive over many years and

0:52:31.994 --> 0:52:33.114
<v Speaker 1>a cross big distances.

0:52:33.194 --> 0:52:34.754
<v Speaker 2>And you and me I had a really good chat

0:52:34.794 --> 0:52:38.274
<v Speaker 2>about that, because the problem with the constant contact stuff

0:52:38.394 --> 0:52:40.514
<v Speaker 2>is that sometimes you've got lots to talk about with

0:52:40.634 --> 0:52:42.834
<v Speaker 2>somebody you know, so you might be in a period

0:52:42.834 --> 0:52:46.034
<v Speaker 2>of high engagement, but then you might not. And to me,

0:52:46.194 --> 0:52:48.674
<v Speaker 2>that doesn't mean that friendship is dying or in danger

0:52:48.794 --> 0:52:52.154
<v Speaker 2>or anything. It's just a life thing. But the reach

0:52:52.234 --> 0:52:56.314
<v Speaker 2>out is crucial. And you made the point in that conversation,

0:52:56.634 --> 0:52:58.554
<v Speaker 2>which I thought is really true, that how are you?

0:52:58.714 --> 0:52:59.794
<v Speaker 2>Is the worst question?

0:52:59.954 --> 0:53:00.873
<v Speaker 1>Oh it's all And.

0:53:00.954 --> 0:53:03.194
<v Speaker 2>I know I'm guilty of it often, right because I'll

0:53:03.194 --> 0:53:06.393
<v Speaker 2>suddenly think I haven't talked to Betty in months and

0:53:06.434 --> 0:53:08.554
<v Speaker 2>I've got two manch while I'm not doing anything.

0:53:08.594 --> 0:53:11.274
<v Speaker 1>It's actually even worse if they're going through something. And

0:53:11.514 --> 0:53:13.794
<v Speaker 1>if I'm going through something and I get the how.

0:53:13.754 --> 0:53:16.873
<v Speaker 2>Are so I'll be like, hey, Betty, how are you?

0:53:17.194 --> 0:53:19.194
<v Speaker 2>And like what kind of a question is that, And

0:53:19.274 --> 0:53:22.674
<v Speaker 2>you guys talked about different openers. I think you're right.

0:53:22.754 --> 0:53:25.274
<v Speaker 2>Like my friendships that have a lot of energy, even

0:53:25.274 --> 0:53:27.954
<v Speaker 2>if we don't see each other very often, you just

0:53:28.034 --> 0:53:31.314
<v Speaker 2>can kick off with any message. But my concern with

0:53:31.434 --> 0:53:34.314
<v Speaker 2>us putting too many rules around how regular contact has

0:53:34.354 --> 0:53:36.354
<v Speaker 2>to be and all those things is that we're always

0:53:36.354 --> 0:53:38.913
<v Speaker 2>on the lookout for a slight, you know what I mean.

0:53:39.274 --> 0:53:42.194
<v Speaker 2>So somebody reaches out to me and is like, did

0:53:42.234 --> 0:53:46.194
<v Speaker 2>you see Chalamaig's ridiculous mustache at the oscars? And if

0:53:46.234 --> 0:53:47.754
<v Speaker 2>I start off with or where have you been?

0:53:47.874 --> 0:53:49.794
<v Speaker 1>I haven't heard from you in six months? Then that's

0:53:49.834 --> 0:53:52.794
<v Speaker 1>not No, that's not nice either. I think it's about

0:53:52.834 --> 0:53:58.514
<v Speaker 1>calibrating your check ins to a mutually agreed level. So,

0:53:58.594 --> 0:54:00.754
<v Speaker 1>for instance, if that friend who texted me about the

0:54:00.794 --> 0:54:03.754
<v Speaker 1>underwire Bras had texted me this morning, how are you?

0:54:03.954 --> 0:54:04.154
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:54:05.234 --> 0:54:08.194
<v Speaker 1>What to respond to this? Yes, but to the end

0:54:08.194 --> 0:54:10.594
<v Speaker 1>of why Bras, I stopped everything? I texted her like, yeah,

0:54:10.634 --> 0:54:13.114
<v Speaker 1>we are doing sorry to inform you.

0:54:13.514 --> 0:54:16.073
<v Speaker 2>You're giving someone a gift of making a reply quite

0:54:16.114 --> 0:54:18.873
<v Speaker 2>easy too, write yaues. It's like what are you eating

0:54:18.994 --> 0:54:21.554
<v Speaker 2>right now? Or like I don't know whatever, like some

0:54:21.554 --> 0:54:22.274
<v Speaker 2>more good questions.

0:54:22.354 --> 0:54:25.554
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's another example because on the subscriber that you're

0:54:25.554 --> 0:54:27.914
<v Speaker 1>talking about, Maya asked me how I have any friends,

0:54:27.994 --> 0:54:30.154
<v Speaker 1>because I have moved around a lot, and I said,

0:54:30.194 --> 0:54:32.554
<v Speaker 1>I actually think that I have a lot of friends.

0:54:32.914 --> 0:54:37.473
<v Speaker 1>And one of my friends lives in California and we

0:54:37.714 --> 0:54:40.594
<v Speaker 1>don't speak often. I've never lived in California. But I

0:54:40.794 --> 0:54:43.194
<v Speaker 1>was proud of my check in with her. The other day.

0:54:43.474 --> 0:54:47.234
<v Speaker 1>I asked her how many times she'd exercised that week

0:54:47.274 --> 0:54:49.714
<v Speaker 1>or how many pilates classes she'd taken, because she'd told

0:54:49.714 --> 0:54:52.154
<v Speaker 1>me in a previous conversation she was feeling a bit down.

0:54:52.234 --> 0:54:54.674
<v Speaker 1>She wasn't getting to pilates. She wanted to get to

0:54:54.714 --> 0:54:57.034
<v Speaker 1>Politi's more because it was making her feel better. And

0:54:57.074 --> 0:54:59.474
<v Speaker 1>she literally wrote back with a number, and then I

0:54:59.474 --> 0:55:02.354
<v Speaker 1>felt like we had this micro connection for the moment,

0:55:02.394 --> 0:55:04.954
<v Speaker 1>which I think was really good. One idea that Mia

0:55:05.034 --> 0:55:08.474
<v Speaker 1>has pioneered is she asks people. She's asked me for

0:55:08.594 --> 0:55:12.074
<v Speaker 1>three words. So I went to Washington, DC recently on

0:55:12.114 --> 0:55:14.474
<v Speaker 1>work and it was obviously, you know, a sort of

0:55:14.634 --> 0:55:17.754
<v Speaker 1>dramatic experience in a number of ways, and Mia texted

0:55:17.794 --> 0:55:21.993
<v Speaker 1>me while I was away three words for Washington, and

0:55:22.234 --> 0:55:25.194
<v Speaker 1>it's really helpful to just be asked to nominate three

0:55:25.234 --> 0:55:27.994
<v Speaker 1>words when you're having an experience where you are feeling

0:55:28.034 --> 0:55:30.154
<v Speaker 1>a lot of big feelings and you don't quite know

0:55:30.194 --> 0:55:32.314
<v Speaker 1>how to put that into words. I think the main

0:55:32.354 --> 0:55:34.674
<v Speaker 1>tip is like not to say how are you. I

0:55:34.674 --> 0:55:37.634
<v Speaker 1>think it's just that is conversation killer. I like also

0:55:37.674 --> 0:55:40.914
<v Speaker 1>asking someone if they're reading anything good, if they're watching

0:55:40.954 --> 0:55:42.474
<v Speaker 1>the pit because I'm obsessed.

0:55:42.594 --> 0:55:46.994
<v Speaker 3>Yes, yes, But I also think in terms of the

0:55:47.114 --> 0:55:50.594
<v Speaker 3>reply only friend and what both of you were saying

0:55:50.634 --> 0:55:54.274
<v Speaker 3>about those kind of I don't know, different more novel

0:55:54.354 --> 0:55:57.234
<v Speaker 3>conversation starts. I'm good at that, Like I will see

0:55:57.274 --> 0:56:00.034
<v Speaker 3>a piece of gossip or something going on on TikTok

0:56:00.074 --> 0:56:01.634
<v Speaker 3>and I'm like, I know who to say this to you,

0:56:01.834 --> 0:56:03.433
<v Speaker 3>and we'll have a chat about that, and then we

0:56:03.514 --> 0:56:06.354
<v Speaker 3>may not talk for six months. That's fine. But with

0:56:06.394 --> 0:56:10.354
<v Speaker 3>a reply only friend, I think friendship, like any relationship,

0:56:10.434 --> 0:56:13.674
<v Speaker 3>is based on a dynamic. So I think in some

0:56:13.714 --> 0:56:16.754
<v Speaker 3>ways I've kind of paired up with friends who were

0:56:16.754 --> 0:56:19.234
<v Speaker 3>the reach out friend. Yeah, do you know what I mean?

0:56:19.714 --> 0:56:22.554
<v Speaker 3>And I was wondering, Amelia, because you tell a story

0:56:22.674 --> 0:56:25.073
<v Speaker 3>on the subs episode that we won't get into because

0:56:25.074 --> 0:56:29.034
<v Speaker 3>it's so juicy it just needs its space. There about

0:56:29.034 --> 0:56:31.714
<v Speaker 3>you being very assertive with a friend about a very

0:56:31.754 --> 0:56:35.433
<v Speaker 3>big life decision. Are you friends with people who are

0:56:35.474 --> 0:56:36.674
<v Speaker 3>similarly assertive?

0:56:37.914 --> 0:56:41.834
<v Speaker 1>Oh, that's interesting, I think so, like if someone was

0:56:41.834 --> 0:56:45.393
<v Speaker 1>that direct with you, well, maybe that's pretty direct. And

0:56:45.474 --> 0:56:48.754
<v Speaker 1>I feel like we have sometimes our friendship has gone

0:56:48.794 --> 0:56:51.873
<v Speaker 1>through a stage of just sending each other articles, and

0:56:51.954 --> 0:56:54.834
<v Speaker 1>that is a way of communicating because maybe there's too

0:56:54.914 --> 0:56:57.754
<v Speaker 1>much going on in both of our lives to debrief properly.

0:56:57.834 --> 0:56:59.994
<v Speaker 1>We don't even really want to get into it. So

0:57:00.154 --> 0:57:03.034
<v Speaker 1>the sending of articles is a way of being in

0:57:03.114 --> 0:57:06.314
<v Speaker 1>touch without having to get into it at any given time.

0:57:06.634 --> 0:57:11.433
<v Speaker 3>And it's like, here's where I'm at. Ideologically, that's not

0:57:11.554 --> 0:57:11.953
<v Speaker 3>your thing.

0:57:12.154 --> 0:57:14.314
<v Speaker 2>Like I've got friends who we just send pictures like

0:57:14.554 --> 0:57:16.194
<v Speaker 2>this is what I'm looking at. This is what I mean,

0:57:17.834 --> 0:57:19.754
<v Speaker 2>glimmers when you're going through a hard time, like this

0:57:19.794 --> 0:57:21.834
<v Speaker 2>is something will make you laugh, like, but just picture,

0:57:21.994 --> 0:57:25.514
<v Speaker 2>no pressure to respond. I relate Claire with the fact

0:57:25.554 --> 0:57:27.874
<v Speaker 2>that because I'm not a very good check in friend,

0:57:28.834 --> 0:57:30.874
<v Speaker 2>a lot of my friends are good check in friends.

0:57:30.994 --> 0:57:33.474
<v Speaker 2>And that's probably said, doesn't say anything good about me,

0:57:33.914 --> 0:57:36.954
<v Speaker 2>but I feel quite smothered if people want things from

0:57:37.034 --> 0:57:39.554
<v Speaker 2>me all the time. I'm like, eh, but I.

0:57:39.474 --> 0:57:41.234
<v Speaker 1>Do you suggest social plans?

0:57:41.554 --> 0:57:41.714
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

0:57:41.794 --> 0:57:44.594
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh definitely I will. My favorite way to socialize

0:57:44.594 --> 0:57:47.114
<v Speaker 2>is one on one over a walk, a coffee or drink, right,

0:57:47.154 --> 0:57:50.034
<v Speaker 2>So I much prefer that then group dinners and lots

0:57:50.034 --> 0:57:52.154
<v Speaker 2>of things like that. So I will definitely. I did

0:57:52.194 --> 0:57:55.154
<v Speaker 2>it yesterday. So it was like admin half hour. I

0:57:55.194 --> 0:57:57.354
<v Speaker 2>had a minute, and there were three of my friends

0:57:57.354 --> 0:57:59.114
<v Speaker 2>who I haven't seen for ages, because I've got lots

0:57:59.114 --> 0:58:01.754
<v Speaker 2>of friends who might not see for months, and I'm like,

0:58:02.234 --> 0:58:04.034
<v Speaker 2>three dates, pick one, three dates.

0:58:03.874 --> 0:58:04.194
<v Speaker 3>Pick one.

0:58:04.274 --> 0:58:06.914
<v Speaker 2>So I will do that. But you get into a

0:58:07.154 --> 0:58:09.514
<v Speaker 2>and rhythm with friends, and I think I just don't

0:58:09.554 --> 0:58:12.594
<v Speaker 2>necessarily think that the judge of a good friend is

0:58:12.634 --> 0:58:14.474
<v Speaker 2>how regularly you talk to each other.

0:58:14.554 --> 0:58:17.114
<v Speaker 1>No, I guess I'd just add that speaking on behalf

0:58:17.314 --> 0:58:20.754
<v Speaker 1>of the reach out friends to the reply only friends.

0:58:21.314 --> 0:58:24.034
<v Speaker 1>Just make sure that you let us know that you're

0:58:24.074 --> 0:58:27.114
<v Speaker 1>thinking of us, even if you don't want to suggest

0:58:27.114 --> 0:58:29.314
<v Speaker 1>a date right now, or you can't get into this

0:58:29.354 --> 0:58:31.554
<v Speaker 1>big thing that's happening in your life, or you're not

0:58:31.594 --> 0:58:34.034
<v Speaker 1>watching the pit I still want to hear from you.

0:58:34.394 --> 0:58:34.794
<v Speaker 1>That's all.

0:58:34.994 --> 0:58:36.154
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, no, that's good to know.

0:58:37.714 --> 0:58:39.794
<v Speaker 2>That is all. We've got time for out louders on

0:58:39.834 --> 0:58:42.594
<v Speaker 2>this Oscar Monday. We will be back in your ears tomorrow. Well,

0:58:42.634 --> 0:58:44.434
<v Speaker 2>Mia will be back in your ears tomorrow with a

0:58:44.474 --> 0:58:48.754
<v Speaker 2>full red carpet fashion rundown with the amazing m Vernum.

0:58:48.834 --> 0:58:49.754
<v Speaker 2>I can't wait to hear that.

0:58:49.754 --> 0:58:50.634
<v Speaker 1>That's going to be great.

0:58:50.714 --> 0:58:52.794
<v Speaker 2>It is, but we will be back in your ears

0:58:52.794 --> 0:58:55.514
<v Speaker 2>on Wednesday. Massive thank you to our team for helping

0:58:55.594 --> 0:58:58.154
<v Speaker 2>us put the show together as always see then.

0:58:58.234 --> 0:59:00.674
<v Speaker 1>Bye bye.

0:59:05.394 --> 0:59:08.794
<v Speaker 3>Mummyer acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which

0:59:08.834 --> 0:59:10.274
<v Speaker 3>we have recorded this podcast.