1 00:00:10,622 --> 00:00:13,342 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 2 00:00:13,822 --> 00:00:17,182 Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:17,222 --> 00:00:22,622 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to 4 00:00:22,701 --> 00:00:25,942 Speaker 2: Mamma Mia. Out Loud What women are actually talking about 5 00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:29,102 Speaker 2: on Friday, the twenty fifth of July. I'm Holly Wayne Wright. 6 00:00:29,422 --> 00:00:31,622 Speaker 1: I'm Mia Friedman, and the universe clearly wants me to 7 00:00:31,662 --> 00:00:33,941 Speaker 1: shut up because I just cannot get my voice back. 8 00:00:33,982 --> 00:00:37,101 Speaker 1: If any out louders have any tips for a returning voice, 9 00:00:37,101 --> 00:00:37,702 Speaker 1: please send them. 10 00:00:39,022 --> 00:00:41,702 Speaker 2: No, it doesn't hurt, No, just sounds bad. 11 00:00:41,782 --> 00:00:41,942 Speaker 1: Hi. 12 00:00:42,182 --> 00:00:43,982 Speaker 3: I'm Jesse Stevens and I've been sick for two and 13 00:00:44,022 --> 00:00:48,382 Speaker 3: a half weeks and I just cannot like sick yourself. 14 00:00:48,662 --> 00:00:51,942 Speaker 3: I just feel so congested and uncomfortable and like sneezy 15 00:00:51,942 --> 00:00:53,662 Speaker 3: and running nose and everything. It's so annoying. 16 00:00:53,742 --> 00:00:56,222 Speaker 2: It's boring you sick pictures. I'm sitting with you, and 17 00:00:56,382 --> 00:00:58,662 Speaker 2: here is what we're going to talk about today. 18 00:00:58,942 --> 00:01:01,502 Speaker 1: There's now a machine that can make you more charismatic 19 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,462 Speaker 1: in just a few minutes. But you don't want to 20 00:01:03,502 --> 00:01:07,342 Speaker 1: spend too long in their hollywayen right, because too much 21 00:01:07,422 --> 00:01:09,902 Speaker 1: charisma can actually make your life harder. And I'm going 22 00:01:09,941 --> 00:01:10,661 Speaker 1: to explain why that. 23 00:01:10,822 --> 00:01:15,182 Speaker 2: Is also my rite of reply on some slanderous comments 24 00:01:15,222 --> 00:01:17,581 Speaker 2: made by my co host while I was away about 25 00:01:17,622 --> 00:01:20,742 Speaker 2: a certain book called The Saltpath, and also some actually 26 00:01:20,822 --> 00:01:22,941 Speaker 2: very useful recommendations. 27 00:01:22,222 --> 00:01:26,102 Speaker 3: For your weekend, plus the great feminist exhaustion, and Helen 28 00:01:26,142 --> 00:01:28,982 Speaker 3: Peterson has put words around what so many of us 29 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:29,542 Speaker 3: are feeling. 30 00:01:29,862 --> 00:01:32,702 Speaker 1: But first, in case you missed it, men are getting 31 00:01:32,742 --> 00:01:37,262 Speaker 1: anti wrinkle injections injected into their scrotums and it's called scrotox. 32 00:01:37,782 --> 00:01:39,021 Speaker 1: Do you have any questions? 33 00:01:40,062 --> 00:01:42,862 Speaker 3: Yes? Isn't wrinkles the point? 34 00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:43,142 Speaker 1: Like? 35 00:01:43,222 --> 00:01:45,581 Speaker 3: Aren't wrinkles a feature not a bug of a scrotum? 36 00:01:45,902 --> 00:01:47,582 Speaker 3: I thought a scrotum was meant to be a bit 37 00:01:47,702 --> 00:01:49,262 Speaker 3: drinkly like, But. 38 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:55,822 Speaker 2: An aging scrotum sinks like gets longer, gets more, does 39 00:01:55,942 --> 00:01:59,222 Speaker 2: it does? So that's what men often. 40 00:01:59,142 --> 00:02:01,022 Speaker 1: Stop flexing that you've never seen one, Jess. 41 00:02:01,982 --> 00:02:05,822 Speaker 2: You know how women we've only recently discovered that things 42 00:02:05,862 --> 00:02:10,302 Speaker 2: happen down there as we get older, but men have 43 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:14,262 Speaker 2: long felt insecure about what will happen to their scrotim 44 00:02:14,262 --> 00:02:14,982 Speaker 2: as they age. 45 00:02:15,262 --> 00:02:20,661 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, this is why this is why nature gave 46 00:02:20,742 --> 00:02:23,142 Speaker 3: us pubic hair, because we shouldn't be looking too close. 47 00:02:23,622 --> 00:02:26,622 Speaker 3: We shouldn't be examining the genitals. And when you remove 48 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,742 Speaker 3: the pubic hair, what you find is you start stressing 49 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:31,982 Speaker 3: over your innkly scrotum like. 50 00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:36,462 Speaker 2: A hairless cat. Yes, almost always look. 51 00:02:36,742 --> 00:02:39,222 Speaker 1: The question that I'd like to know is when was 52 00:02:39,262 --> 00:02:42,182 Speaker 1: the last time you took a good long look at 53 00:02:42,222 --> 00:02:46,341 Speaker 1: a scrotum up close? And how to think about how 54 00:02:46,382 --> 00:02:49,102 Speaker 1: it could be improved. Esthetically speaking, I'm going to give 55 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,142 Speaker 1: you a little bit of thinking music. 56 00:02:54,622 --> 00:02:57,462 Speaker 3: I don't know if I've ever liked, really say one. 57 00:02:57,622 --> 00:03:01,742 Speaker 1: You know, well, let me save you from more pondracs 58 00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:08,902 Speaker 1: to discuss. Yeah, aren't you glad you're listening to this show? 59 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:13,462 Speaker 3: Because did you know? According to all the medical shows 60 00:03:13,462 --> 00:03:16,542 Speaker 3: I've watched, one of the most painful things a man 61 00:03:16,582 --> 00:03:20,102 Speaker 3: can experience his testicular torsion. I think twisted testicle. When 62 00:03:20,102 --> 00:03:22,901 Speaker 3: they twist and if you don't untwist them, then you 63 00:03:23,262 --> 00:03:24,662 Speaker 3: get some issues. You've got to go in get them 64 00:03:24,742 --> 00:03:25,462 Speaker 3: you twisted out. 65 00:03:25,302 --> 00:03:27,182 Speaker 1: How you can either lose the testicle or die. I 66 00:03:27,222 --> 00:03:30,022 Speaker 1: forget which one. Don't follow us for medical advice. I 67 00:03:30,062 --> 00:03:33,142 Speaker 1: interviewed the Blue Wiggle Anthony once and he told a 68 00:03:33,181 --> 00:03:36,262 Speaker 1: very funny story about waking up with a twisted testicle 69 00:03:36,702 --> 00:03:38,582 Speaker 1: and having to go to hospital because you've got a 70 00:03:38,582 --> 00:03:40,822 Speaker 1: certain amount of time called. He called one of the 71 00:03:40,862 --> 00:03:43,822 Speaker 1: other wiggles, but he called someone and they said, get 72 00:03:43,822 --> 00:03:45,822 Speaker 1: to a hospital. If they don't fix this within a 73 00:03:45,862 --> 00:03:50,302 Speaker 1: certain small window. Testicle gone blue wiggle had a blue testicle. 74 00:03:50,542 --> 00:03:53,502 Speaker 1: He did, and he talks about going in there and 75 00:03:53,542 --> 00:03:56,862 Speaker 1: being examined and someone peering up from between his legs going, 76 00:03:57,382 --> 00:04:02,102 Speaker 1: hang on, wait, aren't you the blue wiggle. So the 77 00:04:02,182 --> 00:04:04,942 Speaker 1: reason that men are doing it is to smooth wrinkles, 78 00:04:05,062 --> 00:04:09,982 Speaker 1: reduce sweat and as you say, Holly, help testicles hang lowa, 79 00:04:10,622 --> 00:04:14,222 Speaker 1: giving the illusion of size. Apparently, what this sounds like. 80 00:04:14,182 --> 00:04:15,102 Speaker 2: A young man's game. 81 00:04:15,262 --> 00:04:19,222 Speaker 3: Wouldn't the bigger the scrotum, the smaller the penis looks, 82 00:04:19,662 --> 00:04:23,541 Speaker 3: wouldn't you preferred? That's interesting? The smaller scrotum as like 83 00:04:23,582 --> 00:04:24,382 Speaker 3: a comparison. 84 00:04:25,142 --> 00:04:28,181 Speaker 1: Well, someone who's done it is a guy called Zach Wickham. 85 00:04:28,222 --> 00:04:30,621 Speaker 1: He's a reality star on a show called The Valley, 86 00:04:31,142 --> 00:04:35,022 Speaker 1: and he spoke to People magazine recently and he said 87 00:04:35,262 --> 00:04:37,222 Speaker 1: that he got it because apparently it feels really good 88 00:04:37,301 --> 00:04:40,741 Speaker 1: during sex, and it just looks esthetically better and he said, 89 00:04:40,782 --> 00:04:43,261 Speaker 1: you know how balls go up and down. I was 90 00:04:43,462 --> 00:04:45,741 Speaker 1: just like, you know what, Let's see what happens when 91 00:04:45,741 --> 00:04:48,981 Speaker 1: they stay down. And he said, my balls definitely hung 92 00:04:48,981 --> 00:04:50,821 Speaker 1: at their lowest for a couple of months until it 93 00:04:50,821 --> 00:04:54,141 Speaker 1: wore off. So I would say it was aesthetically nice, 94 00:04:54,782 --> 00:04:57,061 Speaker 1: and they said it could feel better during sex, but 95 00:04:57,101 --> 00:04:59,382 Speaker 1: I don't know if I really noticed that. And then 96 00:04:59,421 --> 00:05:01,501 Speaker 1: he said, my boyfriend said they just look normal though, 97 00:05:01,541 --> 00:05:02,742 Speaker 1: which was kind of disappointing. 98 00:05:03,301 --> 00:05:06,501 Speaker 3: Oh, I wonder if it hurts, would hurt the injection? 99 00:05:06,981 --> 00:05:09,382 Speaker 1: Yeah, it started around twenty nineteen that people have been 100 00:05:09,582 --> 00:05:11,981 Speaker 1: asking for it, but it remains niche with no official 101 00:05:12,582 --> 00:05:16,701 Speaker 1: data available, but side effects and risks very important, typical 102 00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:21,061 Speaker 1: issues around any injection site bruising, swelling, randomness. Plus there's 103 00:05:21,101 --> 00:05:25,582 Speaker 1: also a theoretical risk of sperm impacting temp regulation disruption. 104 00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:30,501 Speaker 1: Oh and deeper injections carry other risks. But all I 105 00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:32,701 Speaker 1: can think of is, you know how someone once said, 106 00:05:33,181 --> 00:05:35,222 Speaker 1: when you get a bit older and you're putting eyeshadow 107 00:05:35,462 --> 00:05:37,902 Speaker 1: on your lid, it's a bit like trying to put 108 00:05:37,941 --> 00:05:39,741 Speaker 1: eye shadow on a scrotum. Have you noticed that? 109 00:05:41,782 --> 00:05:45,782 Speaker 3: Apparently we have reached the great feminist exhaustion, And as 110 00:05:45,782 --> 00:05:48,941 Speaker 3: soon as I read that headline, I thought vibe. And 111 00:05:49,022 --> 00:05:52,101 Speaker 3: Helen Peterson published an article on substack last week all 112 00:05:52,142 --> 00:05:56,861 Speaker 3: about how feminism has exhausted us in a myriad of ways. Firstly, 113 00:05:57,142 --> 00:06:00,782 Speaker 3: its meaning has been exhausted. It's fractured and confused. It's 114 00:06:00,821 --> 00:06:05,141 Speaker 3: been appropriated by pop culture and politics. But it's also 115 00:06:05,301 --> 00:06:09,342 Speaker 3: left women exhausted, particularly the twenty tens. So you'll lean 116 00:06:09,381 --> 00:06:13,061 Speaker 3: in feminism where we were told we were meant to 117 00:06:13,101 --> 00:06:15,981 Speaker 3: work harder than men while caring for kids and elderly parents, 118 00:06:16,022 --> 00:06:19,981 Speaker 3: and it's led to this kind of feminist dystopia. And 119 00:06:20,022 --> 00:06:23,301 Speaker 3: she writes about how so many of the books and 120 00:06:23,301 --> 00:06:26,021 Speaker 3: TV shows and movies we consume are actually about this 121 00:06:26,101 --> 00:06:29,821 Speaker 3: feminist dystopia, like Night Bitch for example, or Girls like 122 00:06:29,941 --> 00:06:33,901 Speaker 3: those shows are actually about the sort of dissatisfaction that 123 00:06:33,941 --> 00:06:38,101 Speaker 3: a lot of women are feeling. Peterson has divided exhausted 124 00:06:38,301 --> 00:06:41,462 Speaker 3: feminism into four categories, and I want to know if 125 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,181 Speaker 3: you relate to any slash all of them. First category, 126 00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:47,622 Speaker 3: she calls it, fuck it, Let's fight. Some women are 127 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,941 Speaker 3: exhausted by the anger and division. They feel like they're 128 00:06:51,941 --> 00:06:54,741 Speaker 3: about to get kicked out by more radical feminists than 129 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:57,861 Speaker 3: them who think that pissing people off is actually the point. 130 00:06:58,142 --> 00:06:58,581 Speaker 3: Do you really? 131 00:06:58,662 --> 00:06:58,822 Speaker 2: Oh? 132 00:06:58,902 --> 00:07:02,381 Speaker 1: Yes, hard relate. I call them the feminist police. Yeah yeah, 133 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:05,022 Speaker 1: I feel the sheriffs of feminism and they drive me nuts. 134 00:07:05,181 --> 00:07:09,141 Speaker 3: Feminism and social movements have always needed the agitators and 135 00:07:09,142 --> 00:07:11,381 Speaker 3: always needed the loud voices and the people who say 136 00:07:11,381 --> 00:07:14,902 Speaker 3: on popular things. But I think that this infighting has 137 00:07:14,941 --> 00:07:21,102 Speaker 3: made some women particularly tired. Second group status quo buyer's remorse. 138 00:07:21,622 --> 00:07:23,822 Speaker 3: So Peterson's theory is that this is where a lot 139 00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:28,102 Speaker 3: of Gen x's and millennials have gone. Right, we did 140 00:07:28,222 --> 00:07:30,502 Speaker 3: all the things we were meant to and were left 141 00:07:30,542 --> 00:07:33,062 Speaker 3: wondering where the happiness is. So this is the group 142 00:07:33,262 --> 00:07:36,902 Speaker 3: that did the degree, not you two, got the job, 143 00:07:37,702 --> 00:07:41,022 Speaker 3: maybe got married not Holly, maybe had kids. Whatever, they 144 00:07:41,102 --> 00:07:42,742 Speaker 3: did what they were supposed to, and they've got to 145 00:07:42,742 --> 00:07:46,022 Speaker 3: the end of it and gone. I feel unfulfilled. I 146 00:07:46,062 --> 00:07:50,102 Speaker 3: am struck by the domestic inequality within my marriage, and 147 00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:53,701 Speaker 3: they're resentful about the inequalities that still exist. Does anyone 148 00:07:53,742 --> 00:07:54,582 Speaker 3: relate to that one? 149 00:07:54,702 --> 00:07:57,222 Speaker 2: I mean, obviously it's true, but I have a broader 150 00:07:57,262 --> 00:07:59,222 Speaker 2: problem with all of this, that none of that is 151 00:07:59,222 --> 00:08:00,101 Speaker 2: feminism's fault. 152 00:08:00,222 --> 00:08:01,782 Speaker 3: Okay, we'll go to number three and then I will 153 00:08:01,821 --> 00:08:05,341 Speaker 3: allow you a right of reply. Holly Group three, Mum, 154 00:08:05,381 --> 00:08:07,941 Speaker 3: that sucks. I don't want your life. So this is 155 00:08:08,022 --> 00:08:11,182 Speaker 3: Gen Z and Gen Alpha and they're like, mum, you 156 00:08:11,262 --> 00:08:15,782 Speaker 3: don't look happy. Fuck that they think if feminism made 157 00:08:15,782 --> 00:08:18,941 Speaker 3: their elders so cranky, then they want something different. 158 00:08:19,102 --> 00:08:22,222 Speaker 2: But do they think that there are people in the world, 159 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:25,622 Speaker 2: women in the world, whose lives are perfect and easy 160 00:08:25,662 --> 00:08:27,582 Speaker 2: and they're happy all the time, and that those people 161 00:08:27,622 --> 00:08:28,502 Speaker 2: are not feminists. 162 00:08:28,502 --> 00:08:32,782 Speaker 3: So they think that the reason their mothers are so 163 00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:37,302 Speaker 3: burnt out and miserable and pissed off is a direct 164 00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:39,902 Speaker 3: result of feminism. That feminism told them that they had 165 00:08:39,902 --> 00:08:42,822 Speaker 3: to work really really hard heart of the men, and 166 00:08:43,342 --> 00:08:45,262 Speaker 3: they're exhausted and they're just going nuts. 167 00:08:45,502 --> 00:08:48,342 Speaker 2: All women were really happy once upon a time, Yes, 168 00:08:48,382 --> 00:08:50,822 Speaker 2: when they didn't have jobs and they didn't have any 169 00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:53,982 Speaker 2: control over their fertility, which is a mythical time, when 170 00:08:54,022 --> 00:08:56,662 Speaker 2: they didn't have jobs as we always were, and they 171 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,742 Speaker 2: didn't have their own money, and they didn't have any agency. 172 00:08:58,982 --> 00:09:01,062 Speaker 2: They were really really happy back then. 173 00:09:01,702 --> 00:09:03,382 Speaker 1: Vote has been quite tired. 174 00:09:03,302 --> 00:09:05,342 Speaker 2: Definitely having to think of it. 175 00:09:05,382 --> 00:09:09,942 Speaker 3: A vote for so true. Group four, Fuck feminism, Fuck 176 00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:14,182 Speaker 3: you too. This group has found feminism so exhausting that 177 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,422 Speaker 3: they are attracted to the simplicity and the domestic joy 178 00:09:17,542 --> 00:09:21,142 Speaker 3: of traditionalism. So they are re embracing all the things 179 00:09:21,182 --> 00:09:23,302 Speaker 3: that gen X disavowed. They're the ones who are going, 180 00:09:23,342 --> 00:09:25,582 Speaker 3: you know what, I'm a triad wife. I've had enough 181 00:09:25,622 --> 00:09:28,182 Speaker 3: of all this stuff. I feel left out by the 182 00:09:28,222 --> 00:09:30,502 Speaker 3: people who are yelling at me. My mum didn't seem 183 00:09:30,502 --> 00:09:34,102 Speaker 3: that happy after all. I'm just going to make some sourdough, Holly. 184 00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:37,182 Speaker 3: First question, are you exhausted? 185 00:09:39,022 --> 00:09:44,502 Speaker 2: I'm exhausted by this ridiculous debate about feminism that seems 186 00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:46,462 Speaker 2: to suddenly be everywhere we turn. We talked about this 187 00:09:46,462 --> 00:09:48,942 Speaker 2: a few weeks ago after one of the biggest podcasts 188 00:09:48,982 --> 00:09:51,542 Speaker 2: in the world had a feminist round table, and we 189 00:09:51,622 --> 00:09:54,422 Speaker 2: talked about that and everywhere I look at the minute, 190 00:09:54,422 --> 00:09:57,782 Speaker 2: it seems to me that people are blaming the messy, 191 00:09:57,822 --> 00:10:02,822 Speaker 2: imperfect lives of women and the struggles of women on feminism, 192 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:06,142 Speaker 2: when I don't think that that is the problem. I 193 00:10:06,142 --> 00:10:07,982 Speaker 2: don't think that's the problem at all. There are so 194 00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:12,022 Speaker 2: many other culprits to the reasons why our lives aren't great, right, Like, 195 00:10:12,382 --> 00:10:14,262 Speaker 2: it has never been harder for a lot of women 196 00:10:14,702 --> 00:10:16,822 Speaker 2: than it is at the moment, or people in general, 197 00:10:16,902 --> 00:10:20,062 Speaker 2: to just have a decent, ordinary, dignified life, to be 198 00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:23,942 Speaker 2: able to afford one right, that is really really hard. 199 00:10:24,142 --> 00:10:27,662 Speaker 2: Everybody is finding it much much harder to make ends 200 00:10:27,702 --> 00:10:29,862 Speaker 2: meet and aspire to things that we used to think 201 00:10:29,942 --> 00:10:34,381 Speaker 2: were totally attainable. That's not feminism's fault. I know exhausted 202 00:10:34,422 --> 00:10:37,182 Speaker 2: women who do not work outside the home, like parents 203 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,742 Speaker 2: who do not work outside the home. I know plenty 204 00:10:39,742 --> 00:10:42,262 Speaker 2: of those are exhausted. I know plenty of young women 205 00:10:42,502 --> 00:10:45,422 Speaker 2: who do not have children who are exhausted. Because all 206 00:10:45,462 --> 00:10:48,582 Speaker 2: of this sets up this idea broadly that we told 207 00:10:48,622 --> 00:10:51,622 Speaker 2: women that they had to do everything, and that the 208 00:10:51,702 --> 00:10:54,142 Speaker 2: code for that is have children and work. That's what 209 00:10:54,222 --> 00:10:58,022 Speaker 2: that's code for. And look what it's done. It's ruined them. 210 00:10:58,462 --> 00:11:02,182 Speaker 2: And I just think it's a false argument. I don't 211 00:11:02,222 --> 00:11:04,542 Speaker 2: think that that is what is exhausting women. I think 212 00:11:04,542 --> 00:11:07,542 Speaker 2: there are a million other reasons why most people are 213 00:11:07,582 --> 00:11:09,862 Speaker 2: exhausted now, and I think a lot of it's cost 214 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:12,222 Speaker 2: of living related, a lot of its technology related, a 215 00:11:12,222 --> 00:11:16,942 Speaker 2: lot of it's basically music to your ears, Jesse, capitalism related. 216 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:20,502 Speaker 2: And I don't think that feminism is to blame. 217 00:11:20,822 --> 00:11:23,782 Speaker 3: Don't you think though, that if you look back at 218 00:11:23,862 --> 00:11:26,382 Speaker 3: the civil rights movement, which was sort of late nineteen 219 00:11:26,422 --> 00:11:29,462 Speaker 3: fifties into the nineteen sixties, there was a set of 220 00:11:29,542 --> 00:11:33,302 Speaker 3: stated aims and they were really clear. It was about 221 00:11:33,462 --> 00:11:37,622 Speaker 3: legal challenges and dismantling segregation and affording Black Americans the vote, right, Like, 222 00:11:37,662 --> 00:11:40,462 Speaker 3: there were these things that they wanted to accomplish. 223 00:11:40,542 --> 00:11:41,742 Speaker 1: Same with the gay rights movement. 224 00:11:41,862 --> 00:11:44,702 Speaker 3: Yeah, and there was a method and there was kind 225 00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:48,102 Speaker 3: of a bar of success. Not to say a lot 226 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:51,982 Speaker 3: of black activists in the US would say we have 227 00:11:52,062 --> 00:11:53,902 Speaker 3: a long, long way to go, which they absolutely do, 228 00:11:53,982 --> 00:11:57,142 Speaker 3: but there was certain criteria by which they could measure 229 00:11:57,142 --> 00:11:58,982 Speaker 3: whether this movement was successful or not. 230 00:11:59,102 --> 00:12:01,942 Speaker 2: Right, didn't feminism or also have that? Wasn't it about 231 00:12:01,942 --> 00:12:02,462 Speaker 2: a quality? 232 00:12:02,702 --> 00:12:02,982 Speaker 1: I think? 233 00:12:03,702 --> 00:12:08,261 Speaker 2: Isn't it Like any major movement, the battlefields change depending 234 00:12:08,382 --> 00:12:11,382 Speaker 2: on the circumstance of your time. So literally, back to 235 00:12:11,422 --> 00:12:13,902 Speaker 2: what MEA was just saying, there was a time when 236 00:12:13,902 --> 00:12:16,662 Speaker 2: women could not vote in lots of Western nations, and 237 00:12:16,742 --> 00:12:20,182 Speaker 2: so obviously that was the most important thing at the time. 238 00:12:20,262 --> 00:12:22,422 Speaker 2: Then there was a time that women were not allowed 239 00:12:22,462 --> 00:12:24,422 Speaker 2: to have their own bank accounts or hold down a 240 00:12:24,502 --> 00:12:26,702 Speaker 2: job after they were married, and so that was the 241 00:12:26,742 --> 00:12:31,222 Speaker 2: most urgent argument of the time. I think that broadly speaking, 242 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:35,102 Speaker 2: feminism still has the same point as it always has, 243 00:12:35,182 --> 00:12:38,422 Speaker 2: which is view women as humans who are equal to 244 00:12:38,502 --> 00:12:39,462 Speaker 2: all other humans. 245 00:12:39,582 --> 00:12:44,102 Speaker 3: Right. I feel as though maybe feminism, the confusion, how 246 00:12:44,182 --> 00:12:47,502 Speaker 3: convoluted it's become, is contributing to the sense of exhaustion. 247 00:12:47,822 --> 00:12:51,942 Speaker 3: So to some feminists, the people that we're critiquing are 248 00:12:51,942 --> 00:12:53,862 Speaker 3: other women, right, And I'm not immune from this. I've 249 00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:56,742 Speaker 3: absolutely done this too. So we're in this dog fight 250 00:12:56,822 --> 00:13:00,182 Speaker 3: where we're arguing about how long you stay at home 251 00:13:00,342 --> 00:13:05,542 Speaker 3: with kids and all these kind of personal choices, while 252 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,822 Speaker 3: Roe v. Wade is being overturned, while a woman a 253 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:12,182 Speaker 3: week has been killed, while you've still got a gender 254 00:13:12,222 --> 00:13:15,102 Speaker 3: pay gap, while women's health is still underfunded, and I 255 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,382 Speaker 3: wonder if we've lost sight. 256 00:13:16,822 --> 00:13:18,982 Speaker 2: But I would argue Jesse that those things you're talking 257 00:13:19,022 --> 00:13:22,062 Speaker 2: about before about staying at home are not feminist arguments. 258 00:13:22,182 --> 00:13:26,942 Speaker 2: They're just arguments about different kinds of people making other 259 00:13:26,982 --> 00:13:30,542 Speaker 2: ones that you are just discussing are really important feminist arguments, 260 00:13:30,582 --> 00:13:32,022 Speaker 2: I think, and Mia says this all the time, so 261 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,742 Speaker 2: I'm just going to quote her. Not everything that affects 262 00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:37,662 Speaker 2: women is about feminism, and not every choice that women 263 00:13:37,702 --> 00:13:40,302 Speaker 2: make is about feminism. Like just as I said before 264 00:13:40,342 --> 00:13:42,342 Speaker 2: about how not everything that's wrong with our lives is 265 00:13:42,382 --> 00:13:45,622 Speaker 2: about feminism, or whether or if women are arguing about something, 266 00:13:45,702 --> 00:13:48,822 Speaker 2: they disagree about something, it's not necessarily about feminism, you 267 00:13:48,822 --> 00:13:49,261 Speaker 2: know what I mean. 268 00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:53,422 Speaker 1: I think the term itself has become I won't say meaningless, 269 00:13:53,462 --> 00:13:58,022 Speaker 1: but very far removed from what it actually means. And 270 00:13:58,062 --> 00:14:00,982 Speaker 1: you see this all the time when an individual woman 271 00:14:01,062 --> 00:14:05,502 Speaker 1: does an individual thing, good or bad, and it suddenly 272 00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:09,302 Speaker 1: becomes this existential conversation about feminism and about all women. 273 00:14:09,822 --> 00:14:13,382 Speaker 1: And I think that that's partly because women are much 274 00:14:13,422 --> 00:14:15,702 Speaker 1: more likely to compare ourselves to other women, so we 275 00:14:15,742 --> 00:14:18,782 Speaker 1: see other women's decisions and choices as somehow being an 276 00:14:18,782 --> 00:14:22,022 Speaker 1: indictment on our own if they're different. There's stuff that 277 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:25,542 Speaker 1: you believe in principle, like that women should be allowed 278 00:14:25,582 --> 00:14:29,382 Speaker 1: to work outside the home and earn money, and then 279 00:14:29,542 --> 00:14:32,982 Speaker 1: there's reckoning with that that a lot of women don't 280 00:14:33,182 --> 00:14:35,382 Speaker 1: want to do that straight away. They want to be 281 00:14:35,462 --> 00:14:38,462 Speaker 1: at home with their children more that doesn't make them 282 00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:43,982 Speaker 1: a bad feminist. That just means that society isn't necessarily 283 00:14:44,862 --> 00:14:48,542 Speaker 1: set up for families or women to make the choices 284 00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:51,622 Speaker 1: that are right for them. Like there's a real misconception 285 00:14:51,702 --> 00:14:54,342 Speaker 1: among some people that feminism says you've got to be 286 00:14:54,342 --> 00:14:57,262 Speaker 1: Sherylf Sanberg or you've got to go and be Kim Kardashian, 287 00:14:57,342 --> 00:15:00,662 Speaker 1: You've got to Feminism don't saying anything. Feminism just says, 288 00:15:00,702 --> 00:15:04,902 Speaker 1: as Holly said, we want the choice because we want equality, 289 00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:07,542 Speaker 1: we want to be treated. We don't want to be men, 290 00:15:07,862 --> 00:15:09,902 Speaker 1: but we want the same rights men. 291 00:15:09,902 --> 00:15:11,422 Speaker 2: And I want to be able to be as messy 292 00:15:11,422 --> 00:15:16,182 Speaker 2: and imperfect and complicated and sometimes argumentative and sometimes happy 293 00:15:16,222 --> 00:15:18,582 Speaker 2: and sometimes tired and sometimes all those things just like 294 00:15:18,662 --> 00:15:19,262 Speaker 2: anyone else. 295 00:15:19,302 --> 00:15:22,102 Speaker 3: I wonder if it's a life stage thing too, in 296 00:15:22,142 --> 00:15:25,542 Speaker 3: that feminism, you know, even up until your twenties, depending 297 00:15:25,542 --> 00:15:28,422 Speaker 3: on your life experiences, and your life experience is very 298 00:15:28,502 --> 00:15:31,462 Speaker 3: much informing relationship with feminism, but can make you feel 299 00:15:31,462 --> 00:15:33,702 Speaker 3: like there is a sameness with men, and then you're confronted. 300 00:15:33,902 --> 00:15:36,982 Speaker 3: Some women are confronted with a biological reality, which is 301 00:15:37,022 --> 00:15:41,422 Speaker 3: that there's a difference and we still haven't quite worked 302 00:15:41,422 --> 00:15:43,862 Speaker 3: out what to do with that, And. 303 00:15:43,862 --> 00:15:46,462 Speaker 1: I think feminism doesn't tell you what to do. It 304 00:15:46,622 --> 00:15:48,982 Speaker 1: just says you should be able to make the choice 305 00:15:49,022 --> 00:15:50,942 Speaker 1: about whether to wear pads, about who you want to 306 00:15:50,982 --> 00:15:53,302 Speaker 1: vote for, about whether you have a bank account in 307 00:15:53,342 --> 00:15:55,182 Speaker 1: your own name, about whether you get a divorce or not, 308 00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:57,902 Speaker 1: about how many children you have and when you have them, 309 00:15:58,222 --> 00:16:01,142 Speaker 1: all those same choices that men have always had. 310 00:16:01,222 --> 00:16:03,582 Speaker 3: So is that just this heaviness? That's what I wonder 311 00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:07,342 Speaker 3: is so many things have been conflated with feminism necessarily right, 312 00:16:07,902 --> 00:16:10,822 Speaker 3: that there's this heaviness, and are not constantly wearing and 313 00:16:10,902 --> 00:16:13,302 Speaker 3: advocating for all of those things all of the time, 314 00:16:13,502 --> 00:16:16,102 Speaker 3: then it feels like you're either failing at feminism or 315 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:20,182 Speaker 3: I don't know, you're not living coherently with your ethics 316 00:16:20,462 --> 00:16:22,422 Speaker 3: or whatever it is, and therefore you want to throw 317 00:16:22,462 --> 00:16:24,862 Speaker 3: it all off and kind of go I feel like 318 00:16:24,982 --> 00:16:29,662 Speaker 3: I am suffocating. Whereas in all movements and all civil 319 00:16:29,702 --> 00:16:34,102 Speaker 3: rights movements, when there's been success, people have generally chosen 320 00:16:34,102 --> 00:16:37,942 Speaker 3: a thing, right, It's like your thing is I really 321 00:16:38,022 --> 00:16:41,902 Speaker 3: care about domestic violence advocacy or women's health or whatever. 322 00:16:41,982 --> 00:16:45,222 Speaker 3: But now it's like you've got to care about fifty 323 00:16:45,222 --> 00:16:47,822 Speaker 3: five things and advocate for them equally all of the time. 324 00:16:47,862 --> 00:16:50,462 Speaker 2: I don't know who's telling you that. I genuinely don't. 325 00:16:50,502 --> 00:16:53,022 Speaker 2: And I also think it is a misrepresentation to think 326 00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:55,222 Speaker 2: that any big social movement, everybody in it has always 327 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,742 Speaker 2: thought exactly the same things and been entirely aligned on goals. 328 00:16:57,742 --> 00:17:00,502 Speaker 2: It's not true. Every social movement in the world is fragmented, 329 00:17:01,102 --> 00:17:03,622 Speaker 2: has within it various camps who care more about some 330 00:17:03,702 --> 00:17:06,581 Speaker 2: things than others, have people who will argue about the priorities. 331 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:09,061 Speaker 2: And also one of the things that I see happening 332 00:17:09,101 --> 00:17:10,702 Speaker 2: a lot at the moment, and I don't want to 333 00:17:10,742 --> 00:17:15,141 Speaker 2: sound like a conspiracist, but it's not an accident that 334 00:17:15,262 --> 00:17:18,742 Speaker 2: suddenly we're being fed everywhere we look like feminisms done, 335 00:17:18,782 --> 00:17:21,262 Speaker 2: women bad everywhere I look at the minute. That's what 336 00:17:21,302 --> 00:17:24,462 Speaker 2: I'm seeing. And you know, I'm seeing all these things 337 00:17:24,262 --> 00:17:27,262 Speaker 2: on Instagram that'll be like, imagine the propagander it took 338 00:17:27,302 --> 00:17:29,542 Speaker 2: to convince us that this was oppressive. That's something I 339 00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:31,542 Speaker 2: get sold all the time, which'll be yes, a woman 340 00:17:31,581 --> 00:17:34,262 Speaker 2: looking really happy with her children. No one was trying 341 00:17:34,302 --> 00:17:37,302 Speaker 2: to convince everybody that that was oppressive. But it's an 342 00:17:37,542 --> 00:17:41,741 Speaker 2: organized resistance. That's what I genuinely believe. I think that 343 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:44,902 Speaker 2: my daughter, who is fifteen and lives on TikTok and 344 00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:48,901 Speaker 2: so on, is facing an organized resistance to feminism that 345 00:17:48,982 --> 00:17:51,262 Speaker 2: I did not face as a gen X woman. We're 346 00:17:51,302 --> 00:17:54,262 Speaker 2: different issues. We literally were going. You know, it's quite 347 00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:56,381 Speaker 2: radical to care about your career and maybe not change 348 00:17:56,381 --> 00:17:58,421 Speaker 2: your name if you got married, and blah blah blah blah. 349 00:17:58,462 --> 00:18:03,181 Speaker 2: But I didn't have this ground swell of very powerful 350 00:18:03,462 --> 00:18:06,782 Speaker 2: forces who are invested in keeping this down like it's intro. 351 00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:08,821 Speaker 2: I know I sound a little bit hyperbolic when I 352 00:18:08,861 --> 00:18:12,582 Speaker 2: say that, but I genuinely think so because I think that, 353 00:18:13,262 --> 00:18:17,461 Speaker 2: as you said earlier, Jesse, about how very real things 354 00:18:17,462 --> 00:18:19,422 Speaker 2: are happening in lots of different parts of the world 355 00:18:19,462 --> 00:18:21,581 Speaker 2: in different ways that are winding back rights of women 356 00:18:22,381 --> 00:18:27,101 Speaker 2: as a reaction to feminism in broad terms, And so 357 00:18:27,262 --> 00:18:31,101 Speaker 2: it's not an accident that suddenly, in little trickles everywhere 358 00:18:31,141 --> 00:18:33,461 Speaker 2: we're seeing all this. But wouldn't it just be empowering 359 00:18:33,502 --> 00:18:35,701 Speaker 2: to just let a man make all the decisions? And 360 00:18:35,821 --> 00:18:39,302 Speaker 2: of course, of course life is difficult for all of us, 361 00:18:39,341 --> 00:18:41,061 Speaker 2: and at times it's like, wouldn't it be great if 362 00:18:41,061 --> 00:18:42,941 Speaker 2: someone else just made all the decisions, have made all 363 00:18:42,942 --> 00:18:46,661 Speaker 2: the money, and i'd but it's a false situation that 364 00:18:46,861 --> 00:18:50,421 Speaker 2: never existed. It's never been perfect to not have power 365 00:18:50,502 --> 00:18:53,662 Speaker 2: over your life, and it's never been perfect to have 366 00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:55,622 Speaker 2: power over your life. Do you know what I mean? 367 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,341 Speaker 3: I think that your sort of sense of exhaustion, which 368 00:18:58,381 --> 00:19:02,341 Speaker 3: Peterson talks about, is like, we already protested this. I've 369 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,942 Speaker 3: already been to this protest. I've already fought for this, 370 00:19:04,982 --> 00:19:06,902 Speaker 3: and I thought we won it, and now it's being 371 00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:09,942 Speaker 3: wound back and I'm having the same arguments I was having. 372 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,662 Speaker 3: I know, my mum feels like this thirty forty years ago, 373 00:19:13,182 --> 00:19:15,782 Speaker 3: and it's like, really, do we have to go back. 374 00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:19,902 Speaker 1: To Well, imagine how American women must feel. Yeah, Like, literally, 375 00:19:20,022 --> 00:19:22,582 Speaker 1: women in America no longer have control over their own 376 00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:27,542 Speaker 1: bodies in most states. It's astonishing. And I also understand 377 00:19:27,581 --> 00:19:30,821 Speaker 1: what you're saying, Jesse, about the exhaustion that we feel 378 00:19:30,901 --> 00:19:34,701 Speaker 1: by the purity tests of some feminists. I think that 379 00:19:34,742 --> 00:19:37,222 Speaker 1: the other problem with the word and the way it's 380 00:19:37,262 --> 00:19:41,582 Speaker 1: been co opted. The most extreme and loudest people are 381 00:19:41,621 --> 00:19:44,742 Speaker 1: the ones that have sort of got the cultural hold 382 00:19:44,782 --> 00:19:46,861 Speaker 1: on the word and a lot of women will look 383 00:19:46,901 --> 00:19:48,621 Speaker 1: at those people and go ooh, I don't want to 384 00:19:48,661 --> 00:19:49,941 Speaker 1: be in a club that she's in. 385 00:19:50,381 --> 00:19:52,821 Speaker 3: With any movement, it's about you look at who you're 386 00:19:52,861 --> 00:19:55,342 Speaker 3: standing beside, and sometimes it becomes more about who you're 387 00:19:55,381 --> 00:19:58,421 Speaker 3: standing beside than what the word actually represents to you, 388 00:19:58,462 --> 00:20:00,902 Speaker 3: and you kind of go ooh, do I feel comfortable 389 00:20:00,942 --> 00:20:02,661 Speaker 3: in this club surrounded by these people? 390 00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,702 Speaker 2: And I don't think we should let ourselves be tricked 391 00:20:04,782 --> 00:20:08,222 Speaker 2: into losing something so important because there are people who 392 00:20:08,262 --> 00:20:10,702 Speaker 2: are saying, oh, so you think this, this and this, 393 00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:13,742 Speaker 2: and it's like no, but that doesn't mean I disavowed 394 00:20:13,782 --> 00:20:14,902 Speaker 2: the entire movement. 395 00:20:15,502 --> 00:20:17,901 Speaker 1: The loudus voice doesn't speak for all of us. It 396 00:20:17,982 --> 00:20:20,061 Speaker 1: used to be back in the twenty tens and the 397 00:20:20,101 --> 00:20:23,061 Speaker 1: early two thousands. Remember every female celebrity that was interviewed, 398 00:20:23,061 --> 00:20:25,942 Speaker 1: there was the gotcha question do you call yourself a feminist? 399 00:20:26,222 --> 00:20:26,462 Speaker 3: Yeah? 400 00:20:26,502 --> 00:20:29,142 Speaker 1: But famously Julie Bishop and Jackie O didn't And it's 401 00:20:29,182 --> 00:20:31,181 Speaker 1: like ooh, and it was like it was a gotcha 402 00:20:31,302 --> 00:20:34,662 Speaker 1: because there were also these stereotypes of what does it mean? 403 00:20:34,702 --> 00:20:36,061 Speaker 1: Does it mean I hate men? Does it mean I 404 00:20:36,061 --> 00:20:37,662 Speaker 1: can't shave my own pits? Does it mean, I can't 405 00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:38,222 Speaker 1: like clothes. 406 00:20:38,302 --> 00:20:40,461 Speaker 3: There was also an emptiness to that, though, because it 407 00:20:40,542 --> 00:20:42,702 Speaker 3: was like, if I wear this badge, then I don't 408 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,102 Speaker 3: actually have to do anything. And I understand that. 409 00:20:45,262 --> 00:20:46,262 Speaker 1: Girl power in the spice. 410 00:20:46,262 --> 00:20:49,341 Speaker 3: Carl, Yes, there's this exhaustion, and I don't think we 411 00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:51,782 Speaker 3: can have this chat without acknowledging it. Of just like 412 00:20:52,022 --> 00:20:53,621 Speaker 3: if you are a woman of color, if you were 413 00:20:53,661 --> 00:20:55,621 Speaker 3: a disabled woman, if you are a poor woman, if 414 00:20:55,661 --> 00:20:58,061 Speaker 3: you are a migrant woman, you feel like you've been 415 00:20:58,141 --> 00:21:02,341 Speaker 3: totally marginalized by this movement from the beginning, from at 416 00:21:02,422 --> 00:21:06,701 Speaker 3: least the popular palatable, even though those women have been 417 00:21:06,742 --> 00:21:08,742 Speaker 3: writing about feminism for just as long. 418 00:21:08,661 --> 00:21:10,621 Speaker 1: One hundred percent. And there's a lot of very valid 419 00:21:10,621 --> 00:21:14,702 Speaker 1: criticism about white feminism and about white feminists just like us, 420 00:21:14,782 --> 00:21:19,341 Speaker 1: who are more likely to advocate for things that aren't intersectional. 421 00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:24,381 Speaker 3: And maybe Cheryl Samberg felt like her brand of feminism worked. 422 00:21:24,462 --> 00:21:27,262 Speaker 3: She was, of course, that was it cooo of Facebook. Yeah, 423 00:21:27,302 --> 00:21:29,701 Speaker 3: she was, Yeah, And she wrote that famous book Lean In, 424 00:21:29,782 --> 00:21:32,221 Speaker 3: And I can just see the frustration of kind of 425 00:21:32,502 --> 00:21:35,861 Speaker 3: looking at that and going, well, if we only see 426 00:21:35,901 --> 00:21:39,742 Speaker 3: feminism as like material wealth or like's. 427 00:21:40,061 --> 00:21:42,942 Speaker 1: But Catlin Moran's point was always that there should be 428 00:21:43,022 --> 00:21:45,462 Speaker 1: one hundred books about one hundred different types of things, 429 00:21:45,502 --> 00:21:47,542 Speaker 1: and there are. The other thing that Katlin and Moran 430 00:21:47,702 --> 00:21:51,821 Speaker 1: says is that we shouldn't confuse feminism with Buddhism. So 431 00:21:52,262 --> 00:21:56,461 Speaker 1: describing yourself as a feminist does not mean that you 432 00:21:57,422 --> 00:22:01,302 Speaker 1: support every choice that every woman in the world makes. 433 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:04,341 Speaker 1: And also being a woman and making a choice does 434 00:22:04,381 --> 00:22:07,221 Speaker 1: not make that choice a feminist choice. It makes it 435 00:22:07,302 --> 00:22:10,381 Speaker 1: a choice that a woman or many women have made. 436 00:22:10,422 --> 00:22:13,941 Speaker 1: So seeing everything that women do in the world through 437 00:22:13,982 --> 00:22:16,621 Speaker 1: this lens of is it feminism? Are they being a 438 00:22:16,621 --> 00:22:20,462 Speaker 1: good feminist? Has feminism failed? That to me is exhausting. 439 00:22:20,661 --> 00:22:24,702 Speaker 2: You're so right, But isn't it interesting that when these 440 00:22:24,742 --> 00:22:27,502 Speaker 2: big things are happening and bubbling up, women are being 441 00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:30,502 Speaker 2: convinced that other women, so who's made a different life 442 00:22:30,581 --> 00:22:33,462 Speaker 2: choice to mine, is my enemy. 443 00:22:33,182 --> 00:22:34,421 Speaker 3: And I am her enemy. 444 00:22:34,661 --> 00:22:38,782 Speaker 2: It's not true. I reject this idea that it's feminism 445 00:22:38,861 --> 00:22:42,821 Speaker 2: that's the problem. I think that it's very very fishy 446 00:22:43,101 --> 00:22:46,341 Speaker 2: that that's suddenly the mainstream discourse. 447 00:22:46,542 --> 00:22:48,341 Speaker 1: Out louders in a moment, we are going to explain 448 00:22:48,381 --> 00:22:51,382 Speaker 1: the secret of charisma, and I'm going to tell you 449 00:22:51,462 --> 00:22:54,061 Speaker 1: who's on top of the out loud leader board in 450 00:22:54,141 --> 00:22:55,341 Speaker 1: terms of who hasard. 451 00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,182 Speaker 3: Out louders. 452 00:22:59,222 --> 00:23:02,222 Speaker 2: We've got a listener dilemma, and we need your collective 453 00:23:02,222 --> 00:23:05,102 Speaker 2: wisdom to help us solve it. Please, here is the problem. 454 00:23:05,542 --> 00:23:07,302 Speaker 2: The other day I met up with a good friend 455 00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:09,302 Speaker 2: for coffee at our usual spot. We hadn't caught up 456 00:23:09,341 --> 00:23:11,421 Speaker 2: in a so I was really looking forward to a 457 00:23:11,422 --> 00:23:14,982 Speaker 2: proper chat, But about fifteen minutes in, things took an 458 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:19,901 Speaker 2: unexpected turn. She started raving about these amazing new cleaning 459 00:23:19,942 --> 00:23:23,181 Speaker 2: products she'd discovered, and at first I thought she was 460 00:23:23,222 --> 00:23:27,262 Speaker 2: just being enthusiastic. But then came the catalog, the sign 461 00:23:27,302 --> 00:23:30,221 Speaker 2: up forms, and that's when I realized I wasn't just 462 00:23:30,302 --> 00:23:32,901 Speaker 2: catching up with a friend. I was being pitched to. 463 00:23:33,742 --> 00:23:36,821 Speaker 2: She was surprisingly persistent, telling me how this was at 464 00:23:36,861 --> 00:23:40,102 Speaker 2: once in a lifetime business opportunity and how I'd be 465 00:23:40,302 --> 00:23:43,182 Speaker 2: perfect for it. I did my best to stay polite, 466 00:23:43,262 --> 00:23:46,582 Speaker 2: make a few non committal noises, and eventually escaped by 467 00:23:46,621 --> 00:23:49,742 Speaker 2: saying I had an appointment I couldn't miss. Now I'm 468 00:23:49,742 --> 00:23:51,661 Speaker 2: stuck in this weird place. I care about her, and 469 00:23:51,702 --> 00:23:53,702 Speaker 2: I don't want to be rude, but I also don't 470 00:23:53,742 --> 00:23:56,381 Speaker 2: want to get trapped in another awkward sales pitch. So 471 00:23:56,462 --> 00:23:58,501 Speaker 2: what do I do the next time she texts and 472 00:23:58,702 --> 00:24:02,061 Speaker 2: asks to catch up again? The question is what do 473 00:24:02,101 --> 00:24:03,302 Speaker 2: you do next? 474 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:08,141 Speaker 3: That is a really hard one. Yeah, Maya, what I 475 00:24:08,182 --> 00:24:10,821 Speaker 3: want from you is like the words that she is 476 00:24:10,901 --> 00:24:12,502 Speaker 3: meant to say this friend. 477 00:24:12,302 --> 00:24:14,582 Speaker 1: The words that you say, or you can follow it up. 478 00:24:14,581 --> 00:24:17,821 Speaker 1: So she froze, which I totally understand. She's gone away 479 00:24:18,022 --> 00:24:20,342 Speaker 1: she comes back in a text or the next time 480 00:24:20,341 --> 00:24:22,701 Speaker 1: I see each other or reply to the email with 481 00:24:22,742 --> 00:24:27,942 Speaker 1: all the forms. Hey, this looks amazing, but weirdly, I'm 482 00:24:28,101 --> 00:24:31,742 Speaker 1: also in the middle of an exciting new business opportunity 483 00:24:32,222 --> 00:24:36,502 Speaker 1: selling essential oils, and I really need to focus all 484 00:24:36,581 --> 00:24:40,022 Speaker 1: my attention on this business opportunity. But if it doesn't 485 00:24:40,022 --> 00:24:43,061 Speaker 1: work out with you and the cleaning products, let me know, 486 00:24:43,061 --> 00:24:45,821 Speaker 1: because I actually think that you would be fantastic at 487 00:24:45,821 --> 00:24:48,542 Speaker 1: this opportunity and I can send you more information about it. 488 00:24:48,782 --> 00:24:49,982 Speaker 2: She's a genius. 489 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:53,262 Speaker 3: I would say, thank you so much. Does sound really 490 00:24:53,302 --> 00:24:56,462 Speaker 3: really exciting. I'm not in any sort of financial position 491 00:24:56,702 --> 00:24:57,662 Speaker 3: to but Jesse. 492 00:24:57,542 --> 00:25:01,101 Speaker 1: You can make so much more money upside is huge. 493 00:25:01,381 --> 00:25:04,021 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I just don't have any money, not 494 00:25:04,101 --> 00:25:05,942 Speaker 3: one dog, I can't even pay for this coffee. In fact, 495 00:25:06,022 --> 00:25:07,421 Speaker 3: I was hoping you would pay for this coffee. 496 00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:09,542 Speaker 1: I also, if you don't have the confidence to come 497 00:25:09,621 --> 00:25:12,061 Speaker 1: back with a lie like I just suggested, you could 498 00:25:12,061 --> 00:25:15,381 Speaker 1: also just say this sounds amazing, So you've got to 499 00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:17,461 Speaker 1: give her a little compliment, and then you go, I 500 00:25:17,661 --> 00:25:20,182 Speaker 1: just don't have the bandwidth to take on anything else 501 00:25:20,222 --> 00:25:20,502 Speaker 1: at the y. 502 00:25:20,621 --> 00:25:21,542 Speaker 3: Yes, I like that. 503 00:25:21,581 --> 00:25:22,822 Speaker 1: No one can argue with bound. 504 00:25:22,661 --> 00:25:24,461 Speaker 3: With I like that, And then I think that if 505 00:25:24,542 --> 00:25:27,581 Speaker 3: she persists, I think we've got to put the friendship 506 00:25:27,621 --> 00:25:30,661 Speaker 3: on rest, because that is not That is not what 507 00:25:30,742 --> 00:25:32,462 Speaker 3: friendship is. It's not selling to each. 508 00:25:32,262 --> 00:25:35,661 Speaker 2: Other absolutely out loud as what would you do next? 509 00:25:35,821 --> 00:25:38,861 Speaker 2: Share your thoughts in the Mama Mia outloud Facebook group. Also, 510 00:25:38,901 --> 00:25:40,942 Speaker 2: if you have a dilemma, send it to us. We'd 511 00:25:40,982 --> 00:25:43,061 Speaker 2: love to hear it out loud at mamamea dot com 512 00:25:43,101 --> 00:25:44,861 Speaker 2: dot au. We're gonna help you. 513 00:25:45,821 --> 00:25:47,861 Speaker 1: What are the ingredients of charisma and do you have 514 00:25:47,982 --> 00:25:49,981 Speaker 1: to be born with it or can you develop it 515 00:25:50,861 --> 00:25:51,662 Speaker 1: with a machine. 516 00:25:52,022 --> 00:25:54,702 Speaker 2: I'm very interested. I always thought that you did have 517 00:25:54,782 --> 00:25:57,221 Speaker 2: to be bored with it. As much as you can 518 00:25:57,262 --> 00:25:59,222 Speaker 2: read all these tips about how to get more of it. 519 00:26:00,182 --> 00:26:03,222 Speaker 2: You can't deny that sometimes you meet people and there's 520 00:26:03,462 --> 00:26:06,462 Speaker 2: just a thing about them, right, So just a lean 521 00:26:06,661 --> 00:26:07,502 Speaker 2: in quality. 522 00:26:07,861 --> 00:26:12,942 Speaker 3: So personality is for to sixty percent inheritable, like it's inherited, right. 523 00:26:13,061 --> 00:26:15,141 Speaker 3: So the idea that you would be an extra vet, 524 00:26:15,262 --> 00:26:17,141 Speaker 3: or you would be agreeable, or you would be particularly 525 00:26:17,141 --> 00:26:20,422 Speaker 3: neurotic or whatever it is, is based on your genetics. 526 00:26:20,422 --> 00:26:22,901 Speaker 3: But there are certain things you can do. It's like 527 00:26:23,022 --> 00:26:25,302 Speaker 3: learning to be a public speaker, like anyone if they 528 00:26:25,302 --> 00:26:27,421 Speaker 3: did enough training could probably tell us. 529 00:26:27,621 --> 00:26:29,462 Speaker 1: First of all, you've got to understand what the components 530 00:26:29,462 --> 00:26:31,462 Speaker 1: of charisma are. So if I said to you whole, 531 00:26:32,341 --> 00:26:35,462 Speaker 1: what do you think the traits of a charismatic person are? 532 00:26:35,581 --> 00:26:35,982 Speaker 1: There's two? 533 00:26:36,661 --> 00:26:40,821 Speaker 2: Confidence, probably I'd say, no, oh, what's the next one? 534 00:26:41,061 --> 00:26:44,821 Speaker 2: Attractiveness comes into it, and it doesn't have to be 535 00:26:45,022 --> 00:26:49,222 Speaker 2: necessarily conventional attractiveness because I often think that charisma to 536 00:26:49,262 --> 00:26:51,542 Speaker 2: be is a very male coded word, even though we 537 00:26:51,581 --> 00:26:54,701 Speaker 2: all know lots of charismatic women. True, you more often 538 00:26:54,782 --> 00:26:57,061 Speaker 2: hear people say he's charismatic, And when you ask Google 539 00:26:57,061 --> 00:27:00,341 Speaker 2: who's charismatic, they're always men, And often it's a compliment 540 00:27:00,422 --> 00:27:04,621 Speaker 2: paid to men who are not necessarily conventionally attractive, but 541 00:27:04,861 --> 00:27:06,981 Speaker 2: have an aura around them. 542 00:27:07,061 --> 00:27:08,382 Speaker 1: Do you think it means someone you want to fark 543 00:27:08,422 --> 00:27:09,022 Speaker 1: like secretly? 544 00:27:09,141 --> 00:27:11,262 Speaker 2: I think no, because I don't think it's sexual. I 545 00:27:11,262 --> 00:27:13,942 Speaker 2: don't think charisma is sexual, but I think it's code 546 00:27:13,982 --> 00:27:16,022 Speaker 2: for someone who makes you feel good. 547 00:27:16,502 --> 00:27:20,261 Speaker 1: Interesting. And you're not wrong about confidence and personality, because 548 00:27:20,702 --> 00:27:23,502 Speaker 1: three of the traits that can make you more likely 549 00:27:23,542 --> 00:27:30,382 Speaker 1: to think someone has charisma are attractiveness, extraversion, and intelligence. Jesse, 550 00:27:30,702 --> 00:27:32,861 Speaker 1: how would you describe charisma like if you think of 551 00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:36,181 Speaker 1: some charismatic people like me, what do you think the 552 00:27:36,222 --> 00:27:37,782 Speaker 1: components of my charisma are. 553 00:27:37,861 --> 00:27:39,821 Speaker 2: I'd love to disagree with her, but she's actually not 554 00:27:39,821 --> 00:27:41,581 Speaker 2: wrong with me. It is very charismatic. 555 00:27:42,022 --> 00:27:42,262 Speaker 3: Yeah. 556 00:27:42,542 --> 00:27:46,821 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is painting, Jesse, because she might have to 557 00:27:46,861 --> 00:27:48,421 Speaker 2: say something nice about me. 558 00:27:49,262 --> 00:27:53,181 Speaker 3: Look, I what do you think it is? I looked 559 00:27:53,182 --> 00:27:57,741 Speaker 3: it at what makes someone charismatic? And picture of me? 560 00:27:57,982 --> 00:28:00,381 Speaker 3: You can know there was not a picture of you 561 00:28:00,581 --> 00:28:02,621 Speaker 3: at all. In fact, when I did ask Google, the 562 00:28:02,661 --> 00:28:04,942 Speaker 3: first twenty results were men, and then the Google AI 563 00:28:05,022 --> 00:28:06,821 Speaker 3: feature gave me six examples, all men. 564 00:28:07,141 --> 00:28:09,422 Speaker 2: So charisma is very. 565 00:28:09,861 --> 00:28:11,381 Speaker 3: AI is very very sexist. 566 00:28:11,702 --> 00:28:12,422 Speaker 1: Tell me who they were? 567 00:28:12,581 --> 00:28:16,382 Speaker 3: So you're Barack Obama, You, George Clooney, you're Tom Cruise, 568 00:28:16,542 --> 00:28:19,982 Speaker 3: Martin Luther, Martin Luther King, lots of like people who 569 00:28:19,982 --> 00:28:20,661 Speaker 3: make speeches. 570 00:28:21,101 --> 00:28:23,501 Speaker 1: But I'm watching Drive to Survive. Do you know who? 571 00:28:23,542 --> 00:28:24,742 Speaker 3: I think? 572 00:28:25,341 --> 00:28:27,022 Speaker 1: No, absolutely not. 573 00:28:27,182 --> 00:28:27,702 Speaker 2: He's just hot. 574 00:28:27,821 --> 00:28:31,462 Speaker 1: That's a different thing. Daniel Ricardo, you think yes. 575 00:28:31,702 --> 00:28:33,142 Speaker 2: One of the reasons why it's not it was about 576 00:28:33,182 --> 00:28:36,061 Speaker 2: attractiveness is think of somebody and this is is because 577 00:28:36,061 --> 00:28:38,781 Speaker 2: you said cars. But who is? Like I don't mean 578 00:28:38,822 --> 00:28:40,981 Speaker 2: to be horrible, but it's actually repugnant to me in 579 00:28:41,022 --> 00:28:45,342 Speaker 2: many ways. He's Jeremy Clarks, but he has bags of charisma? 580 00:28:45,462 --> 00:28:48,462 Speaker 2: Does Boris Johnson? Right? I know these are englishmen. I'm 581 00:28:48,462 --> 00:28:52,822 Speaker 2: pulling out here again, like eh, but bags of charisma? 582 00:28:52,942 --> 00:28:56,582 Speaker 2: Clearly Like it's there's something Barnaby Joyce like, I'm not 583 00:28:57,062 --> 00:28:59,501 Speaker 2: not personally like I want to. But the reason that 584 00:28:59,542 --> 00:29:03,622 Speaker 2: man is successful it's not because he looks like George Clooney. 585 00:29:04,302 --> 00:29:05,102 Speaker 2: Charisma is there. 586 00:29:05,262 --> 00:29:08,302 Speaker 3: You know a woman with charisma is Jackie Lamby. Yeah, 587 00:29:08,422 --> 00:29:10,062 Speaker 3: he has it, and I think that the reason she 588 00:29:10,182 --> 00:29:13,181 Speaker 3: has it. So extraversion is important. Confidence is important. How 589 00:29:13,262 --> 00:29:14,862 Speaker 3: you stand all that kind of stuff. So they say 590 00:29:15,342 --> 00:29:18,782 Speaker 3: how often you smile? Positive effect. So if you're someone 591 00:29:18,822 --> 00:29:25,062 Speaker 3: who's like miserable and cynical, not charismatic, I'm trying. I'm trying. 592 00:29:25,382 --> 00:29:27,862 Speaker 3: You're meant to lean slightly forward when someone is speaking, 593 00:29:28,062 --> 00:29:30,262 Speaker 3: friendly eye contact but not too intense. He meant to 594 00:29:30,262 --> 00:29:31,822 Speaker 3: look away every now and then, to just give them 595 00:29:31,822 --> 00:29:36,701 Speaker 3: a minute, avoid fidgeting. Apparently fidgeting is really charismatic. Mirror 596 00:29:36,702 --> 00:29:40,662 Speaker 3: the other person's body language, very tone and pace, monotone, 597 00:29:40,782 --> 00:29:43,062 Speaker 3: not charismatic. So there are all these things that you 598 00:29:43,102 --> 00:29:46,102 Speaker 3: can kind of learn, But this one I found really interesting. 599 00:29:46,142 --> 00:29:48,221 Speaker 3: There's been this kind of recent study done by this 600 00:29:48,222 --> 00:29:51,462 Speaker 3: Australian guy about what's the quality, what is the thing? 601 00:29:52,502 --> 00:29:55,582 Speaker 3: And he said, and this was surprising to me, it 602 00:29:55,661 --> 00:29:59,902 Speaker 3: is mental speed slash behavioral flexibility. And what he meant 603 00:29:59,902 --> 00:30:02,142 Speaker 3: by that was he was talking about things like quick wit, 604 00:30:02,942 --> 00:30:05,862 Speaker 3: like being with someone who is a chameleon and. 605 00:30:05,942 --> 00:30:09,182 Speaker 2: Who can you what you Yes, you know, they often say, 606 00:30:09,822 --> 00:30:12,261 Speaker 2: and again, lots of male examples I can think of 607 00:30:12,262 --> 00:30:13,782 Speaker 2: in this, but I'm sure there are plenty of women. 608 00:30:14,102 --> 00:30:16,382 Speaker 2: They often say, you know, he made me feel like 609 00:30:16,422 --> 00:30:17,982 Speaker 2: I was the only person in the room. And again 610 00:30:18,022 --> 00:30:20,221 Speaker 2: not necessarily in a sexual way, but when they meet you, 611 00:30:20,822 --> 00:30:25,222 Speaker 2: really engaged and interested in you. Like Prince Harry probably 612 00:30:25,222 --> 00:30:27,782 Speaker 2: has charisma, Prince William possibly not. 613 00:30:28,062 --> 00:30:30,902 Speaker 3: When I've worked with comedians or even like, I've watched 614 00:30:30,902 --> 00:30:34,742 Speaker 3: people and the thing that has blown my mind about 615 00:30:34,902 --> 00:30:39,782 Speaker 3: them is how quickly their mind is working. So Hamish Blake, 616 00:30:39,782 --> 00:30:41,782 Speaker 3: if you were to break down his charisma, I think 617 00:30:41,782 --> 00:30:46,302 Speaker 3: it's it's the how witty he is and how he 618 00:30:46,502 --> 00:30:49,142 Speaker 3: is this particular person when he does Hamish Nandy And 619 00:30:49,142 --> 00:30:51,062 Speaker 3: then he was on that Assembly show with Lee Sales 620 00:30:51,102 --> 00:30:52,382 Speaker 3: and he gave a different element. 621 00:30:52,102 --> 00:30:53,942 Speaker 1: Of shape shifting in a way. 622 00:30:53,822 --> 00:30:55,902 Speaker 3: Yes, but not in a way that feels manipulating. 623 00:30:56,182 --> 00:30:58,622 Speaker 1: It's like adaptability. I think you need a lot of 624 00:30:58,742 --> 00:31:01,062 Speaker 1: self awareness. The two traits that they say you were 625 00:31:01,142 --> 00:31:04,782 Speaker 1: right about affability, which is basically breaks down into those 626 00:31:04,782 --> 00:31:06,782 Speaker 1: things that you said, like the frequency of smiling and 627 00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:11,022 Speaker 1: how approachable someone is and how positive they are. Negative 628 00:31:11,022 --> 00:31:15,022 Speaker 1: people do not have charisma and influence, and influence is 629 00:31:15,142 --> 00:31:18,262 Speaker 1: judged based on qualities like the presence you have in 630 00:31:18,262 --> 00:31:21,102 Speaker 1: a room, which can be harder to kind of distill, 631 00:31:21,182 --> 00:31:25,942 Speaker 1: right magnetism and leadership ability. But what's interesting is that 632 00:31:26,182 --> 00:31:32,142 Speaker 1: these researchers created this machine called the charisma lator. It's 633 00:31:32,182 --> 00:31:36,542 Speaker 1: literally called that the CHARISMI Lata and it combines those 634 00:31:36,622 --> 00:31:41,221 Speaker 1: kind of mental things with physical gestures and stuff. And 635 00:31:41,262 --> 00:31:45,102 Speaker 1: they say that if someone just spent fifteen minutes with it, 636 00:31:45,302 --> 00:31:46,182 Speaker 1: I assume it's like. 637 00:31:46,302 --> 00:31:47,822 Speaker 3: It's like a VR situation. 638 00:31:47,982 --> 00:31:53,502 Speaker 1: Yeah, it improves your general charisma perceived by outsiders by 639 00:31:53,542 --> 00:31:54,702 Speaker 1: seventeen percent. 640 00:31:55,102 --> 00:31:57,942 Speaker 3: That's insane. It's like the tiny little things you do. 641 00:31:57,902 --> 00:32:00,661 Speaker 1: So it can be learned. For some people it's innate, 642 00:32:01,382 --> 00:32:03,022 Speaker 1: and for some people that can be learned. But what's 643 00:32:03,022 --> 00:32:05,902 Speaker 1: also interesting is that if you have too much of it, 644 00:32:05,982 --> 00:32:09,022 Speaker 1: you're going to like this, it can tip over to 645 00:32:09,062 --> 00:32:13,981 Speaker 1: being it is because too much charisma can become narcissism. 646 00:32:14,102 --> 00:32:15,981 Speaker 3: So this is this is highlighted and put on my 647 00:32:16,182 --> 00:32:16,701 Speaker 3: death and. 648 00:32:16,822 --> 00:32:19,702 Speaker 2: Overwhelming, a bit overwhelming to be around those people. 649 00:32:19,502 --> 00:32:21,822 Speaker 3: Like, you know what, you don't want too much charisma. 650 00:32:21,902 --> 00:32:23,582 Speaker 3: You don't want it, and you don't want it because 651 00:32:23,582 --> 00:32:26,182 Speaker 3: people don't trust you because they think that you kind 652 00:32:26,182 --> 00:32:29,941 Speaker 3: of all talk, no action and apparently like it's kind 653 00:32:29,982 --> 00:32:33,222 Speaker 3: of the top echelons of charisma. People start to go no, no, no, 654 00:32:33,382 --> 00:32:36,102 Speaker 3: there's something not right here, like are you Ted Bundy, 655 00:32:36,182 --> 00:32:38,262 Speaker 3: a serial killer type thing, and I just have no 656 00:32:38,382 --> 00:32:40,622 Speaker 3: worry of ever entering that area. So that makes me 657 00:32:40,661 --> 00:32:41,582 Speaker 3: feel a little bit better. 658 00:32:41,742 --> 00:32:43,701 Speaker 1: I think the key to people with true charisma and 659 00:32:43,742 --> 00:32:46,501 Speaker 1: the right amount of charisma is that they're the same 660 00:32:47,422 --> 00:32:49,421 Speaker 1: one on one as they are in a group. Because 661 00:32:49,422 --> 00:32:53,461 Speaker 1: you mentioned comedians, Hamish Blake is the same. 662 00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:56,142 Speaker 3: He's a slightly yeah yeah. 663 00:32:55,782 --> 00:32:58,382 Speaker 1: Modified version one on one. I meansued him for my 664 00:32:58,422 --> 00:33:02,342 Speaker 1: filter and authentic yeah. And I would say the same 665 00:33:02,382 --> 00:33:06,661 Speaker 1: about Koshi for example, or about let's think. 666 00:33:06,502 --> 00:33:10,142 Speaker 2: Of someone women for women who definitely have charisma when 667 00:33:10,142 --> 00:33:11,222 Speaker 2: they walk into a room. 668 00:33:11,062 --> 00:33:15,941 Speaker 3: Well, definitely Michelle Obama, definitely. 669 00:33:14,542 --> 00:33:17,102 Speaker 1: Barack Obama. Well, we haven't met them, but I think 670 00:33:17,142 --> 00:33:19,661 Speaker 1: that there's not that big gap, whereas comedians that all 671 00:33:19,661 --> 00:33:24,622 Speaker 1: the comedians I've known or worked with, massive gap. It's performative. 672 00:33:24,822 --> 00:33:27,461 Speaker 3: But then here's here's someone that we all know personally 673 00:33:27,542 --> 00:33:30,462 Speaker 3: and who's famous, who I think has a lot of charisma. 674 00:33:30,502 --> 00:33:34,022 Speaker 3: I don't think it's it's absolutely not. It's Kate Langbrook, 675 00:33:34,302 --> 00:33:38,102 Speaker 3: and I think she has it because she's very, very quick, 676 00:33:38,182 --> 00:33:40,622 Speaker 3: And I think that that comes down to a certain 677 00:33:40,661 --> 00:33:44,102 Speaker 3: type of intelligence where you just go whatever's going on 678 00:33:44,142 --> 00:33:45,862 Speaker 3: behind the scenes, and making all of that look easy, 679 00:33:45,902 --> 00:33:47,662 Speaker 3: but it's actually really really hard. 680 00:33:47,702 --> 00:33:49,421 Speaker 1: Do you know, in case people think that it's just 681 00:33:49,661 --> 00:33:53,462 Speaker 1: extroverts that can have it, Sally, I don't think it's true. 682 00:33:53,462 --> 00:33:57,461 Speaker 1: You that's Sally Hepworth. She's not massive, like she's not 683 00:33:57,502 --> 00:34:01,661 Speaker 1: a big personality like Kate Langbrook, but she's extraordinary. 684 00:34:01,982 --> 00:34:03,661 Speaker 3: Why do you think I don't have it? 685 00:34:04,262 --> 00:34:06,262 Speaker 2: I don't know that you don't have it. 686 00:34:06,302 --> 00:34:07,982 Speaker 1: But do you know what charisma is not the best 687 00:34:07,982 --> 00:34:08,582 Speaker 1: thing you can have? 688 00:34:08,742 --> 00:34:10,582 Speaker 2: Well, this is one of the things about this, right 689 00:34:10,742 --> 00:34:13,301 Speaker 2: is because I think although you know, the facts might 690 00:34:13,382 --> 00:34:15,861 Speaker 2: say you can make yourself more charismatic. I think it's 691 00:34:15,982 --> 00:34:18,942 Speaker 2: just true that some people have an X factor, whatever 692 00:34:18,942 --> 00:34:21,142 Speaker 2: it is, and that's a present. It's nice for them 693 00:34:21,302 --> 00:34:23,502 Speaker 2: that they have that. In the same way that you know, 694 00:34:23,741 --> 00:34:27,381 Speaker 2: some people are naturally very beautiful, classically beautiful, and we 695 00:34:27,462 --> 00:34:29,701 Speaker 2: act as if they've been blessed by God because in 696 00:34:29,741 --> 00:34:31,221 Speaker 2: a way they have. We know their life will be 697 00:34:31,221 --> 00:34:32,901 Speaker 2: made a little bit easier because of it, but will 698 00:34:32,942 --> 00:34:34,781 Speaker 2: also probably in some ways be made a little bit 699 00:34:34,822 --> 00:34:38,942 Speaker 2: more annoying. I think that trying too hard is the 700 00:34:38,982 --> 00:34:42,902 Speaker 2: opposite of being charismatic, and often charismatic people might have 701 00:34:42,942 --> 00:34:44,781 Speaker 2: a certain set of gifts, but they won't have the 702 00:34:44,822 --> 00:34:47,422 Speaker 2: other set of gifts. They won't have the studiousness, they 703 00:34:47,462 --> 00:34:50,582 Speaker 2: won't have the intelligence necessarily, they won't have a whole 704 00:34:50,582 --> 00:34:52,942 Speaker 2: lot of things that non character You don't have it 705 00:34:53,741 --> 00:34:54,821 Speaker 2: worshiping it tell me. 706 00:34:56,062 --> 00:34:56,181 Speaker 3: So. 707 00:34:56,502 --> 00:35:00,462 Speaker 1: We spoke on Monday Show about main character syndrome and 708 00:35:00,502 --> 00:35:03,261 Speaker 1: how make character syndromes ruining public spaces because everybody's the 709 00:35:03,302 --> 00:35:06,142 Speaker 1: star of their own movie. When I was researching main 710 00:35:06,221 --> 00:35:09,542 Speaker 1: character syndrome, main character syndrome is the delusion that causes 711 00:35:09,661 --> 00:35:11,582 Speaker 1: you to behave in a very not self aware way 712 00:35:11,822 --> 00:35:15,781 Speaker 1: and act in a very imperious manner that feels like 713 00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:18,262 Speaker 1: everybody else is just like an extra in your life. 714 00:35:19,062 --> 00:35:23,701 Speaker 1: Main character energy is different. Main character energy is actually 715 00:35:23,862 --> 00:35:27,022 Speaker 1: just charisma. And the reason that you don't have it 716 00:35:27,102 --> 00:35:28,901 Speaker 1: and people will say, oh me, you're being so mean. 717 00:35:28,942 --> 00:35:30,142 Speaker 1: You know, I think that you're the best thing in 718 00:35:30,142 --> 00:35:34,982 Speaker 1: the whole world, is because you need a degree of 719 00:35:35,102 --> 00:35:39,462 Speaker 1: narcissism to have main character energy and to have charisma. 720 00:35:39,862 --> 00:35:44,302 Speaker 1: You need to believe that you deserve the attention of people, 721 00:35:44,661 --> 00:35:49,382 Speaker 1: and you are the least narcissistic, least main character energy 722 00:35:49,462 --> 00:35:52,261 Speaker 1: person that I know. And that's not a judgment or 723 00:35:52,261 --> 00:35:54,342 Speaker 1: an insult or. I mean it's a compliment. I think. 724 00:35:54,542 --> 00:35:57,022 Speaker 1: I don't think it's a compliment. 725 00:35:56,622 --> 00:36:00,462 Speaker 2: Because you're exceptionally accomplished to have a massive head. 726 00:36:00,822 --> 00:36:03,342 Speaker 3: But you know what, I want a study on. I 727 00:36:03,382 --> 00:36:05,502 Speaker 3: would like to fund a study on whether there's any 728 00:36:05,542 --> 00:36:10,062 Speaker 3: such thing as a charismatic twin because twins don't have 729 00:36:10,102 --> 00:36:12,301 Speaker 3: a level of enuling because they offering within a pair. 730 00:36:12,622 --> 00:36:15,062 Speaker 3: So I just wonder if it's like you kind of 731 00:36:15,622 --> 00:36:18,701 Speaker 3: interest if not that you feel like one half, but like, yeah, 732 00:36:18,701 --> 00:36:19,421 Speaker 3: that it kind of. 733 00:36:19,582 --> 00:36:22,181 Speaker 1: When the two of you are together, there's more of 734 00:36:22,221 --> 00:36:22,702 Speaker 1: a force. 735 00:36:23,422 --> 00:36:26,181 Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe we have maybe together, Yeah, we have the 736 00:36:26,261 --> 00:36:26,701 Speaker 3: charisma of. 737 00:36:27,062 --> 00:36:29,821 Speaker 1: Being out with you on Saturday night. I noticed that 738 00:36:29,902 --> 00:36:34,062 Speaker 1: together you have more of a gravitational pull. 739 00:36:34,622 --> 00:36:35,142 Speaker 3: Interesting. 740 00:36:35,382 --> 00:36:38,421 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have one more question on this matter. It's 741 00:36:38,502 --> 00:36:40,701 Speaker 2: very hard to fake X factor in real life. Is 742 00:36:40,741 --> 00:36:42,901 Speaker 2: it possible to fake it on socials? So a bit 743 00:36:43,022 --> 00:36:44,501 Speaker 2: like the Wizard of Oz. You know how the Wizard 744 00:36:44,542 --> 00:36:46,582 Speaker 2: of Oz is just a little man behind the machine. 745 00:36:46,822 --> 00:36:49,782 Speaker 2: Do you reckon the influences and people who can build, 746 00:36:49,822 --> 00:36:54,422 Speaker 2: who are really online, can like create a charismatic presence 747 00:36:55,022 --> 00:36:56,502 Speaker 2: like almost behind the scenes. 748 00:36:56,661 --> 00:36:58,502 Speaker 3: That is so true, and that. 749 00:36:58,502 --> 00:37:00,782 Speaker 2: Therefore you don't need to be charismatic in person anymore. 750 00:37:00,822 --> 00:37:03,262 Speaker 2: You can just be charismatic in your words and images 751 00:37:03,302 --> 00:37:03,502 Speaker 2: on that. 752 00:37:03,542 --> 00:37:04,462 Speaker 1: That's so interesting. 753 00:37:04,701 --> 00:37:07,462 Speaker 3: I think that's so true, and I think it also 754 00:37:07,582 --> 00:37:10,221 Speaker 3: explains by dating so complicated, because you can project an 755 00:37:10,221 --> 00:37:12,022 Speaker 3: image of charisma and have none of it when the 756 00:37:12,022 --> 00:37:14,341 Speaker 3: person meets you. I have a final question for you, 757 00:37:14,422 --> 00:37:16,542 Speaker 3: may or it's a work question. Do you think a 758 00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:20,422 Speaker 3: leader needs charisma, whether it's a leader of a team, 759 00:37:21,022 --> 00:37:23,502 Speaker 3: a CEO, someone who is like. 760 00:37:23,622 --> 00:37:26,462 Speaker 1: This study actually talked about that, and it's like it 761 00:37:26,582 --> 00:37:29,741 Speaker 1: certainly helps. We've learnt a lot more that brilliant Susan 762 00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:32,941 Speaker 1: kanebook Quiet about Introverts and the idea of we used 763 00:37:32,942 --> 00:37:35,462 Speaker 1: to think, because it was a fairly male alpha model, 764 00:37:35,741 --> 00:37:39,062 Speaker 1: that all leaders in business or in sports teams needed 765 00:37:39,062 --> 00:37:41,181 Speaker 1: to be extroverts and needed to be that kind of 766 00:37:41,261 --> 00:37:45,102 Speaker 1: alpha presence. We've now learned that there's a lot to 767 00:37:45,142 --> 00:37:51,542 Speaker 1: be said for introverted leadership. Introverted charisma is less flashy. 768 00:37:51,982 --> 00:37:54,781 Speaker 1: But the problem with too much charisma in a leader, 769 00:37:55,022 --> 00:37:57,022 Speaker 1: we're talking about that tipping point of where it becomes 770 00:37:57,022 --> 00:38:00,542 Speaker 1: a liability leaders that are too charismatic. And I've worked 771 00:38:00,542 --> 00:38:02,982 Speaker 1: with some of these in the past. They tend to 772 00:38:03,022 --> 00:38:06,022 Speaker 1: be very big on show, not great on execution. 773 00:38:06,902 --> 00:38:08,542 Speaker 3: So that's where it's so. 774 00:38:08,622 --> 00:38:10,902 Speaker 1: Interesting, this idea. And I know that I've been that 775 00:38:10,982 --> 00:38:14,781 Speaker 1: in the past where I have really been great at 776 00:38:14,781 --> 00:38:18,661 Speaker 1: talking came and exactly, but I haven't been good with 777 00:38:18,781 --> 00:38:22,901 Speaker 1: follow through. And I also think that there's probably you know, 778 00:38:22,942 --> 00:38:24,462 Speaker 1: the more I think about it in whole, I think 779 00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:29,701 Speaker 1: you've got charisma. I do, but I think that you 780 00:38:29,862 --> 00:38:32,661 Speaker 1: two no. I think what goes against it for you 781 00:38:32,701 --> 00:38:34,982 Speaker 1: to We often talk about how our upbringings are different. 782 00:38:36,302 --> 00:38:38,902 Speaker 1: I grew up with my parents saying you can do anything, 783 00:38:39,022 --> 00:38:41,861 Speaker 1: You're awesome. You grew up in a different way. It 784 00:38:41,902 --> 00:38:43,142 Speaker 1: was just different styles. 785 00:38:43,382 --> 00:38:45,102 Speaker 2: And I'm sure I did tell you that. When I 786 00:38:45,142 --> 00:38:47,221 Speaker 2: was on holiday, my dad read my book and he 787 00:38:47,302 --> 00:38:50,502 Speaker 2: said to me, there were like two really good passages 788 00:38:50,542 --> 00:38:52,582 Speaker 2: in the Oh. 789 00:38:52,422 --> 00:38:54,341 Speaker 1: My God, where if I When I write a book, 790 00:38:54,382 --> 00:38:57,462 Speaker 1: my mother writes a sonnet of written response. She doesn't 791 00:38:57,502 --> 00:39:02,261 Speaker 1: interpreting dances of excitement. And I think that part of charisma, 792 00:39:02,422 --> 00:39:06,381 Speaker 1: whether you fake it or whether you believe it, is 793 00:39:06,862 --> 00:39:10,382 Speaker 1: taking up space you know, feeling like you have the 794 00:39:10,502 --> 00:39:12,741 Speaker 1: right to take up space. And I think that that's 795 00:39:12,781 --> 00:39:16,982 Speaker 1: why so fewer women have it, because we're taught you 796 00:39:16,982 --> 00:39:18,502 Speaker 1: don't have the red. It's why so many men have 797 00:39:18,582 --> 00:39:22,022 Speaker 1: podcasts that go for three four hours and we're like, oh, 798 00:39:22,062 --> 00:39:24,582 Speaker 1: it's forty minutes too long, woman, it's forty two minutes. 799 00:39:24,622 --> 00:39:26,181 Speaker 1: Wo We don't want to take up too much of 800 00:39:26,221 --> 00:39:26,662 Speaker 1: their time. 801 00:39:27,342 --> 00:39:30,261 Speaker 2: After the break, it's recommendations time. And yes, I get 802 00:39:30,261 --> 00:39:33,582 Speaker 2: my ride of reply on some salt pat slander that 803 00:39:33,741 --> 00:39:37,221 Speaker 2: was flying around last week. Behind my back one unlimited 804 00:39:37,261 --> 00:39:40,862 Speaker 2: out loud access. We drop episodes every Tuesday and Thursday 805 00:39:41,022 --> 00:39:44,462 Speaker 2: exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the link in the 806 00:39:44,462 --> 00:39:46,861 Speaker 2: show notes to get us in your ears five days 807 00:39:46,902 --> 00:39:49,741 Speaker 2: a week. And a huge thank you to all our 808 00:39:49,781 --> 00:39:59,301 Speaker 2: current subscribers. Vibes ideas, atmosphere, something. 809 00:39:58,942 --> 00:40:02,261 Speaker 1: Casual, something fun. This is my best recommendation. 810 00:40:03,181 --> 00:40:06,742 Speaker 2: It's recommendation time. I'd like to bring something to the table. Yes, 811 00:40:06,862 --> 00:40:09,261 Speaker 2: while ire with the ways Burg you bitching about me? 812 00:40:09,342 --> 00:40:12,062 Speaker 3: Ye, yes, that's speerfectly you Jesse. 813 00:40:12,221 --> 00:40:15,102 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's that awkward moment when a book that you 814 00:40:15,142 --> 00:40:18,462 Speaker 2: thought was perfectly pleasant and you recommended to all of 815 00:40:18,462 --> 00:40:21,942 Speaker 2: the the out Louders becomes the biggest story in the 816 00:40:21,942 --> 00:40:22,742 Speaker 2: world for a hot. 817 00:40:22,622 --> 00:40:24,062 Speaker 3: Minute, and you go hide in Europe. 818 00:40:24,302 --> 00:40:27,301 Speaker 2: I go hide somewhere else. And you said I wish 819 00:40:27,382 --> 00:40:29,062 Speaker 2: she was here. For a right of reply, I'm like, 820 00:40:29,102 --> 00:40:32,542 Speaker 2: I'm here. I stand by my recommendation. 821 00:40:32,622 --> 00:40:35,542 Speaker 3: Oh now you're getting defensive, Holly, I stand by it. 822 00:40:35,542 --> 00:40:36,382 Speaker 3: It's not true. 823 00:40:36,542 --> 00:40:39,342 Speaker 2: The book is good. The question for recommendation is is 824 00:40:39,382 --> 00:40:41,181 Speaker 2: this a good book? Have we said what the book is? 825 00:40:41,261 --> 00:40:41,341 Speaker 3: Oh? 826 00:40:41,422 --> 00:40:44,341 Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, the story and question out louders. We're going 827 00:40:44,422 --> 00:40:46,502 Speaker 2: to go over excited, go to ge ahead of myself. 828 00:40:47,102 --> 00:40:49,701 Speaker 2: If you go, it's called The Saltpath by raynal Wynn. 829 00:40:50,022 --> 00:40:52,102 Speaker 2: And many of you will know that one of the 830 00:40:52,102 --> 00:40:54,142 Speaker 2: biggest stories around the world in the last few weeks 831 00:40:54,142 --> 00:40:56,821 Speaker 2: has been that this it was very much presented as 832 00:40:57,062 --> 00:41:00,861 Speaker 2: a factual memoir nonfiction, and that although many of the 833 00:41:00,862 --> 00:41:03,422 Speaker 2: facts in there are true, there's a lot of misrepresentation 834 00:41:03,542 --> 00:41:09,142 Speaker 2: in there. I obviously can see that. But does the 835 00:41:09,181 --> 00:41:10,502 Speaker 2: books stand is a great book? 836 00:41:10,582 --> 00:41:10,781 Speaker 3: Yes? 837 00:41:10,781 --> 00:41:11,421 Speaker 2: One hundred percent? 838 00:41:11,661 --> 00:41:13,261 Speaker 3: Does an impact how you feel about it? 839 00:41:13,342 --> 00:41:15,582 Speaker 2: You know, it's really interesting because we talk about this 840 00:41:15,661 --> 00:41:19,142 Speaker 2: a lot, but you know, when you really enjoy something, 841 00:41:19,622 --> 00:41:23,022 Speaker 2: it doesn't necessarily mean that you endorse everything about that person. 842 00:41:23,062 --> 00:41:25,062 Speaker 2: So even before all this blew up, on are the 843 00:41:25,102 --> 00:41:26,902 Speaker 2: reasons why The Salt Path is a great book. And 844 00:41:26,982 --> 00:41:29,382 Speaker 2: I listened to it actually, and Rayna Winn narrates it, 845 00:41:29,422 --> 00:41:31,661 Speaker 2: so I feel like I've spent many hours with her 846 00:41:31,701 --> 00:41:35,062 Speaker 2: hearing her story. A lot of the decisions they make 847 00:41:35,102 --> 00:41:38,181 Speaker 2: in that book are absolutely batshit. So it's not like 848 00:41:38,261 --> 00:41:40,342 Speaker 2: you listen to the whole thing all the way going 849 00:41:40,422 --> 00:41:43,702 Speaker 2: like you guys are amazing, like your hero what heroes 850 00:41:43,741 --> 00:41:45,381 Speaker 2: you are. There are a lot of decisions they make 851 00:41:45,422 --> 00:41:50,262 Speaker 2: in there that seem irresponsible, that seem provocative, that seem 852 00:41:50,582 --> 00:41:52,982 Speaker 2: unnecessarily difficult and harsh. 853 00:41:53,102 --> 00:41:55,142 Speaker 1: Are they the lies in Well? 854 00:41:55,382 --> 00:41:57,341 Speaker 2: I don't know that they are, because one of the 855 00:41:57,382 --> 00:42:00,382 Speaker 2: main ones is obviously the two big things that everybody's 856 00:42:00,382 --> 00:42:02,781 Speaker 2: talking about about that are the circumstances that made these 857 00:42:02,822 --> 00:42:05,062 Speaker 2: people homeless, Because the basic premise of the book is 858 00:42:05,102 --> 00:42:07,902 Speaker 2: that this middle class, middle aged couple whose kids are 859 00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:11,221 Speaker 2: off at UNI find them suddenly homeless because they've been 860 00:42:11,302 --> 00:42:13,542 Speaker 2: ripped off. Now, in the book, there is not a 861 00:42:13,582 --> 00:42:16,582 Speaker 2: lot of detail about that, and that even when you're 862 00:42:16,622 --> 00:42:18,342 Speaker 2: reading it at the time without any of this knowledge 863 00:42:18,382 --> 00:42:21,781 Speaker 2: is a bit mysterious. You're thinking there must be more 864 00:42:21,781 --> 00:42:25,302 Speaker 2: to this story. But maybe legals, you know, maybe legals. 865 00:42:25,661 --> 00:42:28,742 Speaker 2: They find themselves homeless, so obviously knowing that they actually 866 00:42:28,822 --> 00:42:31,742 Speaker 2: found themselves homeless if the observer reporting is to be believed, 867 00:42:31,781 --> 00:42:34,261 Speaker 2: and I absolutely believe that it is, because that's one 868 00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:35,942 Speaker 2: of the things that needs to be noted about that 869 00:42:36,382 --> 00:42:38,781 Speaker 2: is that is a very high status newspaper. This is 870 00:42:38,822 --> 00:42:41,582 Speaker 2: not trashy investigation. It would have had to cross a 871 00:42:41,582 --> 00:42:43,902 Speaker 2: lot of high bars to get that story to the page. 872 00:42:44,822 --> 00:42:47,342 Speaker 2: Is that the reason they were homeless was actually because 873 00:42:47,382 --> 00:42:51,301 Speaker 2: she embezzled money, borrowed money to try and sort that out, 874 00:42:51,342 --> 00:42:52,542 Speaker 2: and that all blew up in a mess. 875 00:42:52,661 --> 00:42:54,422 Speaker 1: I have a question, do you feel betrayed? 876 00:42:54,942 --> 00:42:57,542 Speaker 2: No, I don't feel betrayed. I really enjoyed the book. 877 00:42:57,701 --> 00:42:59,461 Speaker 2: Just because I really enjoyed the book, and I follow 878 00:42:59,542 --> 00:43:02,102 Speaker 2: raina Win on Instagram because obviously I became interested in her. 879 00:43:02,422 --> 00:43:05,062 Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that I kind of worshiped her foot, 880 00:43:05,221 --> 00:43:07,782 Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? I just really enjoyed 881 00:43:07,781 --> 00:43:10,142 Speaker 2: the book. The other big thing that people feel very 882 00:43:10,181 --> 00:43:13,582 Speaker 2: upset about is that moth who isn't really called moth, 883 00:43:13,622 --> 00:43:18,421 Speaker 2: but that moth is battling a difficult disease, and they're 884 00:43:18,462 --> 00:43:21,701 Speaker 2: saying that she says that walking cured him. I will 885 00:43:21,822 --> 00:43:24,221 Speaker 2: argue that is not what she says. She at no 886 00:43:24,302 --> 00:43:26,781 Speaker 2: point in the book says that walking cured him. She 887 00:43:26,982 --> 00:43:29,982 Speaker 2: just says that actually his symptoms were alleviated by the 888 00:43:30,022 --> 00:43:34,382 Speaker 2: intense physical activity. Now, I know how complicated and thorny 889 00:43:34,422 --> 00:43:37,582 Speaker 2: that kind of irresponsible, like throwing away on a line 890 00:43:37,661 --> 00:43:39,661 Speaker 2: like that is, and that a lot of people are 891 00:43:39,661 --> 00:43:42,582 Speaker 2: saying that couldn't possibly be true. But maybe that was 892 00:43:42,622 --> 00:43:45,862 Speaker 2: their experience. There are lots of experiences like that from people. 893 00:43:46,022 --> 00:43:48,142 Speaker 2: I think they're allowed to own it. So I stand 894 00:43:48,142 --> 00:43:52,221 Speaker 2: by my recommendation. But I'm not saying I stand by her, 895 00:43:52,382 --> 00:43:54,942 Speaker 2: you know them, like I would go into five for them. 896 00:43:55,022 --> 00:43:57,342 Speaker 2: It's really the thing that I can't stop thinking about 897 00:43:57,342 --> 00:43:59,381 Speaker 2: the most though, is it's like that book's like seven 898 00:43:59,462 --> 00:44:02,982 Speaker 2: or eight years old. It's what kind of psyche it 899 00:44:03,102 --> 00:44:07,261 Speaker 2: must take, yes, to go from an unknown book to 900 00:44:07,502 --> 00:44:09,781 Speaker 2: kind of a superstar in the literary world in a 901 00:44:09,862 --> 00:44:12,381 Speaker 2: relatively short space of time, build a massive following, turn 902 00:44:12,422 --> 00:44:14,821 Speaker 2: that into your life, write two follow up books, sell 903 00:44:14,862 --> 00:44:18,142 Speaker 2: the movie rights, all of those things happening while you 904 00:44:18,261 --> 00:44:21,662 Speaker 2: knew that this was a ticking bomb, Like she must 905 00:44:21,661 --> 00:44:23,661 Speaker 2: have known. Who do you have to be to live 906 00:44:23,701 --> 00:44:24,702 Speaker 2: with that? 907 00:44:23,942 --> 00:44:26,861 Speaker 3: And the story now I started with a tip off. 908 00:44:26,902 --> 00:44:28,742 Speaker 3: We still don't know who that person is. That person 909 00:44:28,822 --> 00:44:30,902 Speaker 3: may be revealed at some point, but I listened to 910 00:44:30,942 --> 00:44:34,502 Speaker 3: the observer journalists talk about it, and that tip off 911 00:44:34,542 --> 00:44:36,582 Speaker 3: I think sounds very very close to the source. So 912 00:44:36,622 --> 00:44:39,142 Speaker 3: I think that there were people around her who knew 913 00:44:39,181 --> 00:44:40,982 Speaker 3: these things, and you would just not sleep. 914 00:44:41,261 --> 00:44:42,302 Speaker 1: Did you watch the movie? 915 00:44:42,422 --> 00:44:44,301 Speaker 2: We have watched the movie. I was going to, and 916 00:44:44,302 --> 00:44:45,941 Speaker 2: we were going to. I just haven't got around to it. 917 00:44:46,142 --> 00:44:49,622 Speaker 2: I probably still will. I found it the whole thing fascinating. 918 00:44:49,661 --> 00:44:51,062 Speaker 1: So you won't be one of those people who were 919 00:44:51,062 --> 00:44:52,782 Speaker 1: asking for a refund from the publisher. 920 00:44:53,462 --> 00:44:54,221 Speaker 3: She won't be suing that. 921 00:44:54,302 --> 00:44:56,422 Speaker 2: In fact, before just before this blew up, I told 922 00:44:56,462 --> 00:44:57,982 Speaker 2: Brent that was the book you should read on holiday, 923 00:44:58,022 --> 00:44:59,661 Speaker 2: and he was halfway through it when it all blew up, 924 00:44:59,661 --> 00:45:02,142 Speaker 2: and I was like, look, you're so topical, you're so relevant, 925 00:45:02,221 --> 00:45:04,661 Speaker 2: look at you. Anyway, I have a quick recommendation, and 926 00:45:04,661 --> 00:45:06,342 Speaker 2: I have talk to talk about quick recommendation before I 927 00:45:06,382 --> 00:45:08,301 Speaker 2: go and it's a musical recommendation. 928 00:45:08,622 --> 00:45:11,022 Speaker 3: Yes for a music, no for an artist. 929 00:45:13,022 --> 00:45:15,702 Speaker 2: You know, I've talked before on the show about how 930 00:45:16,102 --> 00:45:18,502 Speaker 2: it's really hard to discover new music. I find it 931 00:45:18,542 --> 00:45:21,062 Speaker 2: really hard to discover me. And when I was away 932 00:45:21,181 --> 00:45:22,741 Speaker 2: and I was with my friends in London and we 933 00:45:22,741 --> 00:45:25,062 Speaker 2: were watching Glastonbury and you know, I love the fact 934 00:45:25,062 --> 00:45:26,941 Speaker 2: that Glastonbury has broken up into bits and you can 935 00:45:26,982 --> 00:45:29,102 Speaker 2: just sit in Britain and watch it on BBC. I 936 00:45:29,181 --> 00:45:31,542 Speaker 2: view just in segments. It's so good. I think I'm 937 00:45:31,542 --> 00:45:34,261 Speaker 2: sure you can do it on YouTube. And I was 938 00:45:34,302 --> 00:45:36,102 Speaker 2: watching this woman that I did not know, And it's 939 00:45:36,142 --> 00:45:38,382 Speaker 2: hard making a musical recommendation because a bit like you 940 00:45:38,462 --> 00:45:41,462 Speaker 2: discovering drive to survive fourteen years after. Like some people 941 00:45:41,462 --> 00:45:43,982 Speaker 2: will be like, uh, yeah, that's my favorite artist. I've 942 00:45:44,022 --> 00:45:46,902 Speaker 2: been listening to her for ages. Is it Charlie XCX, 943 00:45:47,701 --> 00:45:51,902 Speaker 2: no me or even I know Charlie XCX. Have you 944 00:45:51,982 --> 00:45:55,301 Speaker 2: heard of ce Maat never She Sea Matt is an 945 00:45:55,382 --> 00:45:59,181 Speaker 2: Irish artist, a singer songwriter. I guess you'd call her. 946 00:45:59,422 --> 00:46:02,661 Speaker 2: The reason she's called Seamat is her name is Kiara 947 00:46:02,862 --> 00:46:05,462 Speaker 2: Mary Alice Thompson. She's from Dublin and so those are 948 00:46:05,462 --> 00:46:07,982 Speaker 2: her initials. And when we play you a little bit 949 00:46:08,022 --> 00:46:10,142 Speaker 2: of this song, you either will have heard it because 950 00:46:10,142 --> 00:46:13,062 Speaker 2: it's got a hook that's all over TikTok, or you won't, 951 00:46:13,102 --> 00:46:15,262 Speaker 2: but you won't be able to stop singing it anyway. 952 00:46:15,302 --> 00:46:17,742 Speaker 2: This song is called take a Sexy Picture, and the 953 00:46:17,822 --> 00:46:19,982 Speaker 2: chorus is about like take a sexy picture of me 954 00:46:20,102 --> 00:46:22,222 Speaker 2: and make me look fifteen, and it's just so funny 955 00:46:22,261 --> 00:46:24,022 Speaker 2: and so smart. Listen. 956 00:46:24,781 --> 00:46:27,381 Speaker 1: I did the butcher, I did the baker, I did 957 00:46:27,382 --> 00:46:29,102 Speaker 1: the hole and the family maker. 958 00:46:29,422 --> 00:46:34,941 Speaker 3: I did school you see, I did leg ting. 959 00:46:35,502 --> 00:46:38,901 Speaker 1: I've heard this on TikTok and yeah, I love her. 960 00:46:38,942 --> 00:46:41,542 Speaker 1: She's a little bit sort of a del Amy Winehouse. 961 00:46:41,622 --> 00:46:43,821 Speaker 1: She's got that kind of with a little bit of 962 00:46:43,862 --> 00:46:44,422 Speaker 1: Kate Bush. 963 00:46:44,622 --> 00:46:45,261 Speaker 2: She's so good. 964 00:46:46,342 --> 00:46:48,181 Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm going to listen to her. I'm 965 00:46:48,261 --> 00:46:49,542 Speaker 3: very impressed by that recommendation. 966 00:46:49,741 --> 00:46:51,821 Speaker 2: Her music is so good. Well, the best thing about 967 00:46:51,862 --> 00:46:54,261 Speaker 2: Glastonbury I thought this year was just the variety of 968 00:46:54,302 --> 00:46:58,421 Speaker 2: female young female performers from your Charlie to your Sea 969 00:46:58,462 --> 00:47:01,741 Speaker 2: Mats too, your Olivia Rodriguez to Doci to whoever, and 970 00:47:01,741 --> 00:47:04,741 Speaker 2: they're all singing about life as a young woman like 971 00:47:04,741 --> 00:47:08,502 Speaker 2: they're talking about online dating and Instagram and like, you know, 972 00:47:08,582 --> 00:47:11,502 Speaker 2: porn culture. And as she's got another one which you 973 00:47:11,542 --> 00:47:15,701 Speaker 2: will like, Jesse Stevens about online hatred called Jamie Oliver 974 00:47:15,781 --> 00:47:18,462 Speaker 2: petrol Station and it's about how much she hates Jamie 975 00:47:18,502 --> 00:47:21,781 Speaker 2: Oliver and yet she knows how irrational that is. And 976 00:47:22,102 --> 00:47:25,301 Speaker 2: the chorus is my new mantra is Okay, don't be 977 00:47:25,342 --> 00:47:25,822 Speaker 2: a bitch. 978 00:47:27,781 --> 00:47:30,182 Speaker 3: You wouldn't like this, oh. 979 00:47:33,261 --> 00:47:38,142 Speaker 2: Nine interests. Anyway, she's my new recommendation, ce Matt. 980 00:47:38,062 --> 00:47:40,062 Speaker 3: I have a niche recommendation, but it's going to be 981 00:47:40,102 --> 00:47:43,582 Speaker 3: a very helpful one to a certain segment of our audience. 982 00:47:43,781 --> 00:47:46,622 Speaker 3: And it is a new app, and it's called my Comms. 983 00:47:47,342 --> 00:47:50,022 Speaker 3: So if you have someone in your life who lives 984 00:47:50,022 --> 00:47:52,821 Speaker 3: with a disability. My cousin Simon, for example, he's got 985 00:47:52,902 --> 00:47:56,301 Speaker 3: an intellectual disability, this is for him. Or you might 986 00:47:56,302 --> 00:47:59,582 Speaker 3: have a child with autism or perhaps the language delay, 987 00:47:59,781 --> 00:48:04,702 Speaker 3: you will know the importance of communication and how hard 988 00:48:04,822 --> 00:48:08,661 Speaker 3: it can be because communication is literally your connection to 989 00:48:08,701 --> 00:48:12,102 Speaker 3: the world. You become so isolated if people don't understand 990 00:48:12,422 --> 00:48:16,381 Speaker 3: things like your preferences or saying no, like those things 991 00:48:16,422 --> 00:48:20,341 Speaker 3: are critical to people's agency, right, and the frustration that 992 00:48:20,382 --> 00:48:24,142 Speaker 3: comes with not being able to say those things is immense, 993 00:48:24,142 --> 00:48:26,062 Speaker 3: and you've felt that if you are close to someone 994 00:48:26,062 --> 00:48:29,502 Speaker 3: who struggles with language. So this app what happens is 995 00:48:29,542 --> 00:48:31,142 Speaker 3: you open it up and I've got it on my phone, 996 00:48:31,142 --> 00:48:33,702 Speaker 3: and Simon's got it on his phone, and it offers 997 00:48:33,741 --> 00:48:37,502 Speaker 3: a calendar of his week, of his day, and I 998 00:48:37,582 --> 00:48:40,861 Speaker 3: will put things in like Okay, on Saturday, we're going 999 00:48:40,862 --> 00:48:43,862 Speaker 3: to see this musical and then we're getting typhood. Now 1000 00:48:44,022 --> 00:48:47,181 Speaker 3: they're pictures and they're real pictures. They're not cartoons that 1001 00:48:47,221 --> 00:48:51,741 Speaker 3: make Simon feel like he's for they're photos. The creators 1002 00:48:51,862 --> 00:48:54,382 Speaker 3: who I spoke to, they reached out their out loudders. 1003 00:48:54,701 --> 00:48:58,181 Speaker 3: They said, with Simon, there's something called object permanence. So 1004 00:48:58,582 --> 00:49:01,222 Speaker 3: when we were touring, for example, I would get forty 1005 00:49:01,221 --> 00:49:03,022 Speaker 3: calls from Simon a day saying where are you? Where 1006 00:49:03,022 --> 00:49:05,102 Speaker 3: are you when you're home? When you're home? And it's 1007 00:49:05,142 --> 00:49:10,102 Speaker 3: because it's like a cognitive milestone to understand that, even 1008 00:49:10,142 --> 00:49:13,341 Speaker 3: though you can't see something, yes there. 1009 00:49:13,661 --> 00:49:16,102 Speaker 1: And that's often when little children, I was reminded with 1010 00:49:16,181 --> 00:49:19,142 Speaker 1: this with Lunar start getting there. They think they're stranger 1011 00:49:19,261 --> 00:49:21,981 Speaker 1: data because when Mum's not here, where is mum? 1012 00:49:22,102 --> 00:49:24,702 Speaker 3: So what it does is it says he checks his diary, 1013 00:49:24,741 --> 00:49:27,142 Speaker 3: and it says Jesse's in Perth, Jesse's in Perth, Jesse's 1014 00:49:27,142 --> 00:49:28,422 Speaker 3: in Perth. And then it has a thing in his 1015 00:49:28,542 --> 00:49:31,781 Speaker 3: diary that has like airplane Jesse's home from Perth. And 1016 00:49:31,822 --> 00:49:35,222 Speaker 3: therefore I don't have to explain the thing every day. 1017 00:49:35,582 --> 00:49:38,861 Speaker 3: It's also got choices, so you know, these women have 1018 00:49:38,902 --> 00:49:41,982 Speaker 3: worked with kids who are nonverbal and they say, oh, 1019 00:49:42,022 --> 00:49:43,622 Speaker 3: do you know what music they like? And their parents 1020 00:49:43,622 --> 00:49:46,462 Speaker 3: are like, oh, don't really have a preference, and they're like, oh, 1021 00:49:46,502 --> 00:49:49,102 Speaker 3: he has a preference, and he probably wants to let 1022 00:49:49,142 --> 00:49:52,181 Speaker 3: you know that he hates that song Holly. So what 1023 00:49:52,181 --> 00:49:55,062 Speaker 3: it has is like choices about whether it's yes or no, 1024 00:49:55,221 --> 00:49:58,822 Speaker 3: or whether it's like I actually feel like Schnitzel tonight 1025 00:49:58,942 --> 00:50:00,341 Speaker 3: or I feel like watching this show. 1026 00:50:00,622 --> 00:50:01,902 Speaker 1: Firstly, can kids use it? 1027 00:50:02,142 --> 00:50:02,381 Speaker 3: Yes? 1028 00:50:02,661 --> 00:50:06,221 Speaker 1: And what's the level of ability do you need to 1029 00:50:06,221 --> 00:50:07,502 Speaker 1: be able to read to use it? 1030 00:50:07,822 --> 00:50:10,502 Speaker 3: I don't know. So Simon can't read, but I can 1031 00:50:10,502 --> 00:50:12,542 Speaker 3: set it up on my end and it's on his phone, 1032 00:50:12,542 --> 00:50:14,021 Speaker 3: so all he needs to do is open the app. 1033 00:50:14,502 --> 00:50:17,142 Speaker 3: And then it's also got something called tasks that like 1034 00:50:17,622 --> 00:50:20,821 Speaker 3: for some people who are autistic or some people with disabilities, 1035 00:50:20,982 --> 00:50:23,182 Speaker 3: things like brushing your teeth, getting dressed in the morning, 1036 00:50:23,221 --> 00:50:25,982 Speaker 3: helpful mornings. It has those tasks and they're set there 1037 00:50:26,022 --> 00:50:28,782 Speaker 3: every day. That's like these are the steps in pitches. 1038 00:50:29,022 --> 00:50:31,942 Speaker 3: So it's like first you get your toothbrush, you put 1039 00:50:32,142 --> 00:50:35,062 Speaker 3: toothpaste on it, you did it, and that gives these 1040 00:50:35,582 --> 00:50:40,302 Speaker 3: people independence rather than you having to like talk every day. 1041 00:50:40,502 --> 00:50:44,022 Speaker 3: So it's brilliant to Australian out louder is. One is 1042 00:50:44,022 --> 00:50:47,062 Speaker 3: a speech pathologist. Another one worked in in schools and 1043 00:50:47,261 --> 00:50:49,462 Speaker 3: knows a lot about behavior and they could see that 1044 00:50:49,462 --> 00:50:53,462 Speaker 3: there was something missing in communication, and they've created this app. 1045 00:50:53,661 --> 00:50:55,022 Speaker 3: You can find it on the App Store now. It's 1046 00:50:55,062 --> 00:51:00,381 Speaker 3: just launched. It's called my Comms, One Word, my COO MMS. 1047 00:50:59,862 --> 00:51:00,702 Speaker 1: And is it free? 1048 00:51:00,942 --> 00:51:01,261 Speaker 3: It's not. 1049 00:51:01,422 --> 00:51:03,942 Speaker 1: So it's I'm glad it's not, because I was gonna say, 1050 00:51:03,982 --> 00:51:05,582 Speaker 1: how can we support these creators. 1051 00:51:05,661 --> 00:51:08,542 Speaker 3: So what they've said is that like a year's subscription, 1052 00:51:08,582 --> 00:51:10,221 Speaker 3: which I think is about a hundre in forty nine 1053 00:51:10,261 --> 00:51:12,502 Speaker 3: a year is the cost of a session with a 1054 00:51:12,542 --> 00:51:15,941 Speaker 3: speech pathologist. So it's like it's more accessible to people 1055 00:51:15,982 --> 00:51:18,102 Speaker 3: who are coming up against this friction every day. Or 1056 00:51:18,142 --> 00:51:20,781 Speaker 3: it's fifteen dollars a month, so even try it for 1057 00:51:20,822 --> 00:51:22,701 Speaker 3: a month, see what you think. But I've been using 1058 00:51:22,701 --> 00:51:25,582 Speaker 3: it with Simon and it's made such a difference. And 1059 00:51:25,622 --> 00:51:29,421 Speaker 3: they said that with adults with these disabilities, Simon has 1060 00:51:29,502 --> 00:51:32,821 Speaker 3: always resented the cartoons. He's resented the cartoons that have 1061 00:51:32,862 --> 00:51:33,701 Speaker 3: angry faces and. 1062 00:51:33,622 --> 00:51:35,942 Speaker 2: Everything because a lot of them are like that. 1063 00:51:36,181 --> 00:51:39,142 Speaker 3: Yes, he's like, I'm not ten and you're treating me 1064 00:51:39,302 --> 00:51:41,822 Speaker 3: like a child, whereas this is it treats him like an. 1065 00:51:41,701 --> 00:51:43,262 Speaker 1: Adult for teenagers as well. 1066 00:51:43,342 --> 00:51:46,781 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it also just facilitates us understanding each other. 1067 00:51:46,902 --> 00:51:48,542 Speaker 1: Can we put a link in the show notes and 1068 00:51:48,542 --> 00:51:52,221 Speaker 1: out louders, let's spread the word far and wide, and 1069 00:51:52,342 --> 00:51:54,941 Speaker 1: anyone in your life that you think could benefit from this, 1070 00:51:55,661 --> 00:51:56,382 Speaker 1: please share it. 1071 00:51:56,422 --> 00:51:59,702 Speaker 3: In it even like NDAs providers in schools like it 1072 00:51:59,822 --> 00:52:02,142 Speaker 3: could make a really, really big difference. There's nothing like it, 1073 00:52:02,261 --> 00:52:04,862 Speaker 3: so go check it out. Maya, what's your recommendation. 1074 00:52:05,342 --> 00:52:08,462 Speaker 1: I know that I'm late to this party, and I 1075 00:52:08,502 --> 00:52:11,142 Speaker 1: think you've recommended it before, but I've got to talk 1076 00:52:11,181 --> 00:52:12,302 Speaker 1: about drive to survive. 1077 00:52:12,542 --> 00:52:15,622 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. 1078 00:52:16,181 --> 00:52:18,901 Speaker 1: Because it's actually all they want to talk about and 1079 00:52:18,942 --> 00:52:20,502 Speaker 1: I don't know how it started. 1080 00:52:21,022 --> 00:52:22,022 Speaker 3: It started with me. 1081 00:52:22,462 --> 00:52:24,222 Speaker 2: Jesse recommended it on the show. 1082 00:52:24,342 --> 00:52:26,221 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, but I don't listen to your recommendation. 1083 00:52:26,542 --> 00:52:29,381 Speaker 3: It was Luca and I saying all we do. Luna 1084 00:52:29,382 --> 00:52:31,502 Speaker 3: couldn't sleep the other night, and she came downstairs and 1085 00:52:31,542 --> 00:52:34,181 Speaker 3: she said, watching cars. She thinks we watch cars when 1086 00:52:34,181 --> 00:52:36,941 Speaker 3: she goes to sleep. And then the Ferrari team came 1087 00:52:37,062 --> 00:52:39,021 Speaker 3: up and she looked at it and she goes red 1088 00:52:39,221 --> 00:52:41,741 Speaker 3: like Simon, like Simon wiggle, and I was like, great 1089 00:52:41,822 --> 00:52:42,502 Speaker 3: small talk. 1090 00:52:43,942 --> 00:52:44,782 Speaker 2: Shows were across. 1091 00:52:44,902 --> 00:52:46,942 Speaker 1: Well, I know, but the ven diagram of shows that 1092 00:52:47,022 --> 00:52:50,902 Speaker 1: I like with either of you bitches is very small. 1093 00:52:50,982 --> 00:52:54,542 Speaker 1: But I now live with two men. My daughter's moved 1094 00:52:54,542 --> 00:52:57,301 Speaker 1: out of the house. Like I like spending time with them. 1095 00:52:57,622 --> 00:53:00,221 Speaker 1: It's hard to find things to watch together, right, And 1096 00:53:00,741 --> 00:53:04,262 Speaker 1: my son's sixteen, my husband's older than that. And weirdly, 1097 00:53:04,502 --> 00:53:07,302 Speaker 1: I'm from such an F one family. Yes you are, father, 1098 00:53:07,862 --> 00:53:11,181 Speaker 1: my eldest son. My husband all obsessed with Formula one. 1099 00:53:11,302 --> 00:53:13,062 Speaker 1: I spent years and THEWS and news and decades my 1100 00:53:13,102 --> 00:53:17,181 Speaker 1: whole life going to sleep with this noise real as 1101 00:53:17,221 --> 00:53:19,981 Speaker 1: my husband watched the Formula One late into the night 1102 00:53:20,422 --> 00:53:24,382 Speaker 1: and I always fucking hated it. Oh my god, drama. 1103 00:53:24,661 --> 00:53:25,982 Speaker 1: Why didn't anyone tell me? 1104 00:53:26,062 --> 00:53:27,902 Speaker 3: Okay, Holly, this is you've been away. 1105 00:53:28,142 --> 00:53:30,982 Speaker 1: It's one hundred million. I started at season one. 1106 00:53:31,022 --> 00:53:32,301 Speaker 3: We can get Holly on board with this. 1107 00:53:32,542 --> 00:53:33,982 Speaker 2: I have watched it, watched it. 1108 00:53:34,261 --> 00:53:35,741 Speaker 3: You've already watched it, so we're gonna get I haven't 1109 00:53:35,741 --> 00:53:37,622 Speaker 3: watched all of it. You on board with our plan, 1110 00:53:37,942 --> 00:53:40,422 Speaker 3: which is we want to go to the Formula one 1111 00:53:40,741 --> 00:53:43,781 Speaker 3: and so we need tag to watch brand. We need 1112 00:53:43,822 --> 00:53:47,342 Speaker 3: a very expensive We'll go to Dubai, We'll go to Moms, 1113 00:53:47,422 --> 00:53:51,822 Speaker 3: We'll go to one Melbourne spa Monaco. 1114 00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:55,022 Speaker 2: Thing that's amusing about this and it's fine to be 1115 00:53:55,062 --> 00:53:57,022 Speaker 2: late to the party. I'm frequently late to the party 1116 00:53:57,062 --> 00:54:00,382 Speaker 2: on many things. Is that that's such a phenomena that 1117 00:54:00,502 --> 00:54:02,862 Speaker 2: show that now every sport has one of those shows. 1118 00:54:02,902 --> 00:54:04,542 Speaker 2: You know that, right, Like so golf has one and 1119 00:54:04,582 --> 00:54:09,462 Speaker 2: Polo has Remember Harry tried, because it literally transformed the sport, 1120 00:54:09,741 --> 00:54:12,342 Speaker 2: and it literally transformed the people who like the sport. 1121 00:54:12,382 --> 00:54:14,382 Speaker 2: And now that's why, you know, just a couple of 1122 00:54:14,422 --> 00:54:16,502 Speaker 2: months ago at the Melbourne one. Now there's a massive 1123 00:54:16,502 --> 00:54:19,022 Speaker 2: fashion show on the first day and every influencer in 1124 00:54:19,062 --> 00:54:19,942 Speaker 2: all of Australia. 1125 00:54:20,022 --> 00:54:21,781 Speaker 3: Did you see the Christian Horning. 1126 00:54:21,661 --> 00:54:24,301 Speaker 1: Is he got sacked? 1127 00:54:25,462 --> 00:54:26,861 Speaker 3: So we're going to have a spinoff. We used to 1128 00:54:26,862 --> 00:54:31,022 Speaker 3: have Parenting Out Loud, Now we're going to have Formula one. 1129 00:54:32,502 --> 00:54:35,062 Speaker 1: I have so many questions about why Jerry Horner only 1130 00:54:35,062 --> 00:54:37,462 Speaker 1: wears white and what's happened to. 1131 00:54:37,422 --> 00:54:38,382 Speaker 3: That spice girl? 1132 00:54:38,502 --> 00:54:41,661 Speaker 2: But she only wears white because of the spiritual purity. 1133 00:54:41,942 --> 00:54:44,501 Speaker 1: So then I had a really long conversation. Oh Toto Wolf, 1134 00:54:44,542 --> 00:54:46,542 Speaker 1: don't even get me started. I love him and Gunter 1135 00:54:47,462 --> 00:54:49,181 Speaker 1: Justice forgot I think Guntera. 1136 00:54:48,902 --> 00:54:49,582 Speaker 2: Just got sacked. 1137 00:54:50,221 --> 00:54:55,861 Speaker 1: Just recommending dry a little flicks seven seasons A bit 1138 00:54:55,902 --> 00:54:58,422 Speaker 1: of feedback from Netflix a little bit confusing because they 1139 00:54:58,422 --> 00:55:00,861 Speaker 1: don't number the episode, so a couple of times I 1140 00:55:00,942 --> 00:55:03,662 Speaker 1: found myself back at the beginning of a different season. 1141 00:55:04,502 --> 00:55:07,102 Speaker 1: So you got to stay sharp, utterly obsessed. 1142 00:55:07,382 --> 00:55:11,341 Speaker 2: That's it. That's officially it. TV shows from fourteen years 1143 00:55:11,342 --> 00:55:14,301 Speaker 2: ago Out Loudest. Thank you for listening to all our 1144 00:55:14,342 --> 00:55:16,422 Speaker 2: shows this week. It has been delightful for me to 1145 00:55:16,422 --> 00:55:18,062 Speaker 2: be back with you and delightful to be back with 1146 00:55:18,102 --> 00:55:20,142 Speaker 2: these bitches. Of course, we are going to be back 1147 00:55:20,142 --> 00:55:22,781 Speaker 2: in your ears on Monday, Mina and Jesse read this out. 1148 00:55:23,062 --> 00:55:25,742 Speaker 3: A big thank you to our team Group executive producer 1149 00:55:25,902 --> 00:55:28,982 Speaker 3: Ruth Devine. She is absolutely brimming with charisma, and now 1150 00:55:28,982 --> 00:55:30,261 Speaker 3: that I've said about you, I have to say it 1151 00:55:30,261 --> 00:55:31,142 Speaker 3: about everything. 1152 00:55:30,902 --> 00:55:31,702 Speaker 1: That's actually true. 1153 00:55:31,741 --> 00:55:33,582 Speaker 2: She is charismatic. 1154 00:55:33,661 --> 00:55:37,862 Speaker 3: She is our audio producer Tree pain Is, Leah Porgies 1155 00:55:37,942 --> 00:55:42,022 Speaker 3: also incredibly cours you know you know Tree Maya. Keep reading. Sorry. 1156 00:55:42,142 --> 00:55:45,862 Speaker 1: Credits video producers Josh Green. I wouldn't say he's charismatic, 1157 00:55:45,942 --> 00:55:50,942 Speaker 1: but he's lovely. He's so lovely. Guys be charismatic is 1158 00:55:50,982 --> 00:55:53,181 Speaker 1: not the best true Well, it's a burden that only 1159 00:55:53,261 --> 00:55:57,181 Speaker 1: some of us can carry. Our junior content producers are 1160 00:55:57,221 --> 00:55:58,262 Speaker 1: Coco and Tessa. 1161 00:55:58,661 --> 00:56:01,181 Speaker 2: I'm not commenting, not on whether or not they have charisma. 1162 00:56:01,342 --> 00:56:03,261 Speaker 3: No, I think that could be an hr issue is 1163 00:56:03,382 --> 00:56:07,422 Speaker 3: waiting to happen out louders. On yesterday's subscriber episode, we 1164 00:56:07,502 --> 00:56:11,861 Speaker 3: tackled some very interesting dilemmas, including whether or not to 1165 00:56:12,102 --> 00:56:17,342 Speaker 3: let your friend bring along a fling to a girl's dinner. 1166 00:56:17,422 --> 00:56:18,902 Speaker 1: Oh, I have very strong thoughts. 1167 00:56:18,942 --> 00:56:21,781 Speaker 3: We've all been there, and how to deal with two 1168 00:56:22,062 --> 00:56:24,301 Speaker 3: close friends who have turned on each other. A link 1169 00:56:24,342 --> 00:56:28,622 Speaker 3: will be in the show notes, Bye bye. Shout out 1170 00:56:28,622 --> 00:56:31,102 Speaker 3: to any Mum and me A subscribers listening. If you 1171 00:56:31,181 --> 00:56:33,901 Speaker 3: love the show and you want to support us, subscribing 1172 00:56:33,942 --> 00:56:36,181 Speaker 3: to Mom and Mia is the very best way to 1173 00:56:36,221 --> 00:56:38,661 Speaker 3: do so. There's a link in the episode description