Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm I'm a mea podcast. Hello, and
Speaker 1: welcome to Unleashed, a podcast for gen X women who
Speaker 1: need a laugh. Yes, if the world is doing your
Speaker 1: head in, if your brain is about to explode, come
Speaker 1: and hang with us. So who's on the couch today?
Speaker 2: I'm Bruno Pep Andrea, and I'm a film and TV producer.
Speaker 3: Hello, I'm Mary Curses. I'm an actress and writer.
Speaker 4: Hello is it? I'm Gray Lamb fashion stylist.
Speaker 1: I'm Casperhoney, I'm a comedian and I won't be singing today.
Speaker 1: So wherever you're listening and clenching your clencher pelvic floor,
Speaker 1: let's unleash. Okay, I have the talking stick. Whoever has
Speaker 1: the talking stick can talk about whatever they want, big
Speaker 1: or small, petty or polarizing. Who would like it?
Speaker 4: I'm petty, I'll go okay. So, ladies, I've done something
Speaker 4: that was so scary to me recently that I've conquered
Speaker 4: this fear. Who was it driving? I mean something you
Speaker 4: might not know about me that I'm a huge Formula
Speaker 4: one fan. So those lovely listeners who don't know. Even
Speaker 4: though I love fast car, I drive like a granny.
Speaker 1: Do you I would not have said that. I feel
Speaker 1: you'd be crazy bitch on the road?
Speaker 3: Has it always been the issue or is this a
Speaker 3: new thing.
Speaker 4: It's a new thing since I started perimenopause, I have
Speaker 4: to say. And because when you moved to Melbourne exactly
Speaker 4: a year ago, I'm not familiar with the road. And
Speaker 4: we have an SUV car and is big, and the
Speaker 4: building that we're living in, the exit to go in
Speaker 4: and out is very small. It's second week I was
Speaker 4: in Melbourne. I scratched car and I've never driven since.
Speaker 4: It's been ten months.
Speaker 5: Oh Jesus.
Speaker 4: Yes, I get nervous when i'm driving, you know, and
Speaker 4: there's so much going on that's a lot for my brain,
Speaker 4: you know. So recently Jason had to go away for
Speaker 4: a week and I thought, fuck me, I'm not very
Speaker 4: good at driving. How am I going to get around town?
Speaker 4: I mean, okay, there's public transport, but you know, when
Speaker 4: you do grocery shoppings, I need my car. So then
Speaker 4: I forced myself to face my fear for a whole
Speaker 4: week practice finally got out with no scratch.
Speaker 1: All right, how did you psyche yourself up? How did
Speaker 1: you actually do it?
Speaker 4: So first of all, I won't let Jason or theotok
Speaker 4: in the car. I'll help. I need to focus, no music,
Speaker 4: and I will go really slow and just go. And
Speaker 4: I actually do breathing exercise before I start. It's a
Speaker 4: whole thing. So I meditated a little bit for a
Speaker 4: few minutes.
Speaker 1: Breathe.
Speaker 4: You can do it, you can do it. I was
Speaker 4: saying to myself, let's go, grace, and you can't do this.
Speaker 4: So every day when I exit that car park successfully,
Speaker 4: I do this, click my finger up and I go yes.
Speaker 1: That's how I roll bitches whilst going five k. Yes.
Speaker 4: So now I have to do parallel parking. And my
Speaker 4: personal record when I was living in Perth to parallel
Speaker 4: park seventeen times, back and forth.
Speaker 5: One try. You are seventeen.
Speaker 4: Yes, I was counting. My son was counting and laughing.
Speaker 3: I'm like silently counting.
Speaker 4: I saw this. I saw this space. And when I
Speaker 4: see a space that I don't think I can get in,
Speaker 4: I will go round and round until I see something
Speaker 4: that I can do it. This one, I had no
Speaker 4: choice because he was late for swimming and I thought, okay,
Speaker 4: let's just do it. Let's just do this seventeen fucking times,
Speaker 4: to the point that I said to THEO, can you
Speaker 4: please stop counting? You're making me nervous. So seventeen times
Speaker 4: I did it, So now I need to conquer that.
Speaker 2: But it's someone behind you and waiting. Is that what
Speaker 2: you're anxious about?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, because it gives you pressure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I became one of those people that I judge
Speaker 4: my people. I judge Asian drivers, and whenever they're slow,
Speaker 4: whenever the slot, I'm like, I bet he's an Asian
Speaker 4: person and it is Alwait. So now I've conquered the
Speaker 4: exit out the parking lot. The next thing is parallel parking,
Speaker 4: because now my social media is or by a Formula
Speaker 4: one and parallel parking that's my algorithm.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Grace, I'm with you because I could parallel
Speaker 1: part within like five cent piece. I was amazing. And
Speaker 1: then perimeniforms and my spatial awareness my anxiety. I've now
Speaker 1: got a camera in my car, which should really make
Speaker 1: it better. It doesn't make it better at all.
Speaker 7: Here's what I've also found amongst a lot of women
Speaker 7: our age is they get a fear of going over bridges.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 7: I've heard this from about five different women over the years.
Speaker 7: Never had an issue going over say the Harbor Bridge
Speaker 7: or the Westgate Bridge, depending on where you are.
Speaker 3: Panic on a bridge, I don't know.
Speaker 7: It only ever happens sort of late thirties into their forties,
Speaker 7: will do everything to avoid going over a bridge. I
Speaker 7: don't know whether it's because there's open space on either side.
Speaker 1: I've never heard of it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, people have. I think we should put it
Speaker 3: out there.
Speaker 7: If you have a fear of driving on bridges, let
Speaker 7: us know, because I am not lying when I tell
Speaker 7: you I've had four or five women tell me the
Speaker 7: same thing over the last few years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Can I have the talking stick please? All right?
Speaker 1: I would like to talk about a concept that I
Speaker 1: heard Mia Friedman talk about on out Loud, which is
Speaker 1: called the four burners. So this idea is basically, think
Speaker 1: about your life as a stove, like a cook top.
Speaker 1: You've got four pans on the go. It's friends, family, work,
Speaker 1: and health. And the theory is you can't have your
Speaker 1: four burners blasting all at the same time, and so
Speaker 1: to be successful at one or two of them, you
Speaker 1: have to have at least one off, maybe two. So
Speaker 1: my burning question to you all is which one of
Speaker 1: the four are you turning off? So we've got family, friends, work,
Speaker 1: and health, Mary.
Speaker 7: I'd like to think I don't them off. I think
Speaker 7: I like to board a couple on simmer or low.
Speaker 7: Maybe health when I'm really busy, because I never not
Speaker 7: want to stay connected to the people I love. Work
Speaker 7: is sort of almost on full most of the time.
Speaker 7: You know, it's based on that whole idea or if
Speaker 7: you can't have everything all at once, right, So yeah,
Speaker 7: I think probably health, and I think a lot of
Speaker 7: women would relate to that.
Speaker 5: It's true.
Speaker 2: I have seen you, I've known you a long time,
Speaker 2: and you have always not prioritized health, like you were
Speaker 2: not getting checks when you should have for a long time, right,
Speaker 2: Like it's interesting like watching you was never in your
Speaker 2: like front brain. I would say I only ever switched
Speaker 2: one off, and that's friends. Probably work never switches off.
Speaker 2: And particularly I think when you have your own company,
Speaker 2: it's kind of a twenty fourth heaven thing, particularly when
Speaker 2: you're married to your business partner and family. I try
Speaker 2: not to switch off. I would say the friends of
Speaker 2: the thing as after I had children in trying to
Speaker 2: find balance where I just couldn't be that person who
Speaker 2: was the person that I've always been organizing everything. So
Speaker 2: I would say that gets turned off depending on how
Speaker 2: busy I am.
Speaker 4: Grace, I would say, at fifty three young, I would
Speaker 4: turn off my career.
Speaker 5: Wow, I love that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, only because I put priority on family first, definitely
Speaker 4: and my health. Family to me now means my husband
Speaker 4: and my son. Everyone else can to fuck off. So
Speaker 4: the reason I said career last is because I'm at
Speaker 4: that point that I'm very picky about what I do. Yes,
Speaker 4: i have to earn a living, but at the same time,
Speaker 4: I refuse to take on jobs or projects that is
Speaker 4: against my values. Ye you know, not that I'm a billionaire.
Speaker 4: Of course I need to earn money, but at the
Speaker 4: same time, my career is definitely not my priity. You know,
Speaker 4: I'm happy to I'm happy where I am, and I'm
Speaker 4: happy with my life. So for me, if you don't
Speaker 4: have health, you don't have career, you can't do anything. Yeah,
Speaker 4: absolutely nothing.
Speaker 5: You can do. I agree with them.
Speaker 4: So health and family is definitely first.
Speaker 1: Friends.
Speaker 4: You know, I'm very good with keeping friends. I'm like you,
Speaker 4: I always organize every thing, but I mean I make
Speaker 4: friends every day. Yeah, you know, so definitely my career
Speaker 4: is on simmer.
Speaker 5: What about you, keV.
Speaker 1: Well, I want it all for boiling. And it's only
Speaker 1: when you think about it that you go, my god,
Speaker 1: they're absolutely not. Whenever I'm trying to do, you know,
Speaker 1: the work stuff in my head, I'm like, I really
Speaker 1: should get to the gym and lift weights and do
Speaker 1: this and that, and you just run out of time.
Speaker 1: So for me, I'm a free lance so work never stops.
Speaker 1: But when you're a single person or you know, a
Speaker 1: solo mum, I'm the breadwinner and I live the other
Speaker 1: side of the world to my family. So for me,
Speaker 1: my friends in Australia are like my family. So if
Speaker 1: I had to pick two, it would be those two.
Speaker 1: But I really would like to turn the fucking hate
Speaker 1: up on health. Yeah tell you, because I just think
Speaker 1: I don't know how she's going on the inside this
Speaker 1: whole girl vis a service.
Speaker 4: I think also when people used to tell me you
Speaker 4: can have it all, I'm like, clearly you're lying. When
Speaker 4: mom said, oh you can have all of how fabulous,
Speaker 4: I'm like, clearly something's got to give.
Speaker 1: I don't believe in that.
Speaker 2: No, and I don't care I've seen I've seen people
Speaker 2: with like you can have all the help in the world,
Speaker 2: and you can't. You can have that, you just can't
Speaker 2: do it, like Mary said, all at once. But and
Speaker 2: also I think people underestimate health is a real commitment
Speaker 2: and it takes time.
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 4: And also one hack which is really important is that
Speaker 4: I think, as you know, midlife women, we feel like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, unless I do an hour in a gym,
Speaker 4: that there is nothing, no show up for five minutes,
Speaker 4: gradually at ten minutes, fifteen minutes. If you do it
Speaker 4: every day, it's better than nothing.
Speaker 6: I know.
Speaker 1: But just when I'm doing that, I'm going, oh fuck,
Speaker 1: I've got to do meal prep for Lewis because my
Speaker 1: seventeen year old is going through protein like it's going
Speaker 1: out of fashion. Like there's just always a thing to do.
Speaker 5: Get earlier.
Speaker 3: Look, I've got to say it.
Speaker 7: And I love some sort of concept that you can
Speaker 7: get everything into right, and this I love as an idea.
Speaker 7: But I have always been blessed with a lot of
Speaker 7: great energy, and I have tried and very successfully for
Speaker 7: the most part of my life to keep all four
Speaker 7: burners going.
Speaker 3: And the benefits been mine, you know, like i've I'm lucky.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 7: Bruna says I don't get enough checkups, and she's right.
Speaker 7: She made me have a check up, I reckon three
Speaker 7: decades ago. She forced me, drove me to a GP.
Speaker 7: I went in, had a perhapsmere and found out I
Speaker 7: had pre cancerous cells thanks to your forcing me.
Speaker 3: So I would say you can have all four, especially
Speaker 3: if it's.
Speaker 7: If those things are energizing you. I think you switch
Speaker 7: off the one that's depleting you. So I like the
Speaker 7: idea of this that all four burners can't be on
Speaker 7: at the same time. But here's where I reckon it
Speaker 7: drops the ball. Why are you switching off one of
Speaker 7: those burners? And it's not just time. I suspect it's
Speaker 7: because that burner is the thing that is high maintenance,
Speaker 7: the one that's depleting you, the one that you're not
Speaker 7: getting something back from a lot of the time. So yeah,
Speaker 7: I would switch off a friendship group that was of
Speaker 7: no value to me, except my friends are everything to me,
Speaker 7: So I would never switch that one off. Yeah, But
Speaker 7: I think the one that you choose to turn down
Speaker 7: is often the one that's the most depleting. And you
Speaker 7: make a choice to turn it down, not that you
Speaker 7: don't have room for it, but it's not giving you enough.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, totally, totally right, man.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, guys, I need to talk about something that happened.
Speaker 2: I had a work situation last week, and under normal circumstances,
Speaker 2: this might just be another day in Hollywood, so to speak.
Speaker 2: But I had a pretty tense exchange with someone. So
Speaker 2: I don't want to get too specific because I'll probably
Speaker 2: get sued, but it was a pretty tense negotiation and
Speaker 2: someone on the other side was incredibly rude to someone
Speaker 2: I work with, and something in me just snapped where
Speaker 2: I was like, no, no, this is not going to happen.
Speaker 2: You cannot speak to someone like that anyone. I don't
Speaker 2: care who it is.
Speaker 1: What was it about what he said that really got
Speaker 1: and dear clause, it.
Speaker 2: Was just disrespectful. It was dishonest, and it was very
Speaker 2: rude and under normal circumstances, particularly as I've gotten older
Speaker 2: in my business, one of the things I prided myself
Speaker 2: on in Hollywood, it's not taking shit personally and just
Speaker 2: kind of putting the email in the drafts folder and
Speaker 2: not sending it because we all had to do business
Speaker 2: together and it's dangerous sometimes to kind of push back, right,
Speaker 2: particularly when there's like a power and balance. So anyway,
Speaker 2: I lost it and I was like, no, this is
Speaker 2: not okay. So I wrote an email straight away and
Speaker 2: I sent it straight away where I was basically like,
Speaker 2: I will not tolerate you speaking to me or anyone
Speaker 2: that works with me or collaborates with me in this way.
Speaker 5: It's not okay.
Speaker 7: So when you sent that email, did you feel relief?
Speaker 7: Did you know it was the right thing to do
Speaker 7: at the time?
Speaker 2: No, I was very conflicted, and I felt really sick
Speaker 2: about it. I was like, I was just really conflicted
Speaker 2: because I knew I'd done the right thing, that was
Speaker 2: no doubt about that in my mind. But I also
Speaker 2: knew that there could be blowback. What kind of blowback, well,
Speaker 2: you know, and like in business, like kind of some
Speaker 2: kind of retribution where look in Hollywood there's like power
Speaker 2: plays all the time, right, So it was a pretty
Speaker 2: terrible situation. Like I went to bed feeling like, oh God,
Speaker 2: what's going to happen when I wake up? That's what
Speaker 2: I went to bed thinking, Can you tell us.
Speaker 4: The juicy bed? What did he write back?
Speaker 2: I mean, he basically wrote back and was like, you
Speaker 2: know your way of doing business is not my way
Speaker 2: of doing business. Then basically good luck, like good luck
Speaker 2: with whatever.
Speaker 5: You do next.
Speaker 2: So I will say, for me, I want to send
Speaker 2: that email you know more than I would like to say,
Speaker 2: but ninety percent of the time I don't, and it
Speaker 2: passes and it all works out.
Speaker 5: Do any of you ever.
Speaker 2: Feel like you've snapped or you needed to say something
Speaker 2: and you did or didn't, And have you been in
Speaker 2: that kind of work situation?
Speaker 3: Totally?
Speaker 7: I have, and I reckon it stunted my career by
Speaker 7: ten years. I was doing something for the network that
Speaker 7: I was working with at the time. I'd been on
Speaker 7: a show promoting something I didn't like the way I
Speaker 7: was it was handled. I felt like I was thrown
Speaker 7: under the bus and I got off that set of
Speaker 7: that show and my biggest fan was one of the
Speaker 7: top executives at the network at the time, and I
Speaker 7: lost my shit and I went from being his favorite.
Speaker 3: So he just iced me after that.
Speaker 5: But were you losing your shit rightfully? Like, were you
Speaker 5: in the marning?
Speaker 7: I think I was way too emotional. I should have
Speaker 7: taken a moment I could have had that I could
Speaker 7: have used the exact same words without being so outraged,
Speaker 7: and I think I would have got away with it.
Speaker 7: I think when you double with the emotion on the top,
Speaker 7: especially because I didn't see it coming that this guy
Speaker 7: went from totally being my biggest fan to like going right,
Speaker 7: we're done.
Speaker 2: But I do think that specific I do. I think
Speaker 2: that when women get emotional like you're describing, I think
Speaker 2: people on the other side view itself. I've seen it
Speaker 2: viewed very differently to when a man gets they're just
Speaker 2: being They're just being like decisive and forthright, whereas I've
Speaker 2: seen it women judged in a different way.
Speaker 5: Is anyone else experience this?
Speaker 4: I mean I've done both where I should have said
Speaker 4: something and I did it in at three am. I'm like,
Speaker 4: why the fuck did I not say anything? But also
Speaker 4: with this mouth, it's no control over it. What you
Speaker 4: see is what you get. That's the problem with me
Speaker 4: sometimes and and I'm I'm the person that I will
Speaker 4: go in for like justice, I will fight for other people,
Speaker 4: and I think sometimes it just I mean, this is
Speaker 4: my own experience, people, I just want to caveet that.
Speaker 4: And what I'm going to say is controversial. But this
Speaker 4: is my own personal experiences, is that every time I
Speaker 4: have a dispute with someone at work, somehow, it's always
Speaker 4: women that are not happy with me, or they get
Speaker 4: very personal, or they always women that want to take
Speaker 4: me down. And I'm not saying this is what experience,
Speaker 4: this is my experience, and so far in my whole career,
Speaker 4: I haven't met one woman boss that I feel that
Speaker 4: we have a sisterhood. It's almost like I love women
Speaker 4: so much, and I find it quite surprising because I'm
Speaker 4: also disappointed because I'm the I'm opposite and maybe Brune,
Speaker 4: I feel like we have very similar characters, right, and
Speaker 4: maybe because we are more masculine in some ways of
Speaker 4: dealing with stuff that people, especially with me because I'm Asian,
Speaker 4: they don't expected.
Speaker 2: But your business is very female oriented as well.
Speaker 4: And yes, exactly so. But all the men that I've
Speaker 4: worked with in the fashion industry, when they're not happy
Speaker 4: with me, they fucking tell me. And I love that
Speaker 4: at least I know if you're not happy with me, right,
Speaker 4: where sometimes with certain people it's more it's not just
Speaker 4: about women or men certain people, but they just happen
Speaker 4: to be female. They get so personally you know, sometimes
Speaker 4: if I dress better than them, they get jealous and
Speaker 4: sometimes if I know want people then to get pissed off.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, you and I just say what
Speaker 2: we think, and I think that's something that like, I'm
Speaker 2: not a fan of the passive aggressive, and I think
Speaker 2: we're old enough to just be aggressive aggressive.
Speaker 3: Can I get the talking stick, Merry Chriscus, that's me? Okay.
Speaker 3: I got pulled over by the police the other day.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, No.
Speaker 7: What was really sad on my behalf is I pulled
Speaker 7: over thinking that they needed to go past me.
Speaker 3: But I just thought, oh, something important's car.
Speaker 7: I better pull over, you know, like you do with
Speaker 7: an ambulance or anyone with a siren.
Speaker 3: They didn't have their siren on.
Speaker 7: But then they were pulling me over, and so I
Speaker 7: went to get out of the car and they went
Speaker 7: full La.
Speaker 3: Compton on me.
Speaker 6: Get in the car, Get in the car, Stay in
Speaker 6: the car, relax, rookie.
Speaker 7: Anyway, So I'm sitting in there and three of them
Speaker 7: come over to the car again. Three three police people
Speaker 7: came over, a die and two girls and they said you.
Speaker 7: The man said he had a mustache and he said
Speaker 7: to me, do you realize you turn right on a
Speaker 7: red light, and I'm telling you I just turned and
Speaker 7: said no, actually, I have no idea. No, I do
Speaker 7: not realize that I turned right on the red light.
Speaker 7: And he said, well you did. Well, what am I
Speaker 7: going to do it? I'm gonna argue with a cop
Speaker 7: and win. And then he tells me you know you're
Speaker 7: being recorded, and he's got.
Speaker 5: Bably.
Speaker 7: I was going to say, can I have a minute.
Speaker 7: I just want to check that tack the lipstead. Anyway,
Speaker 7: he said, well, that's concerning that you didn't realize. And
Speaker 7: then chick walks in and she says, have you been drinking?
Speaker 7: And I said only caffeine and down like a ton
Speaker 7: of bo knows humor allowed.
Speaker 3: Apparently it's illegal.
Speaker 7: Surprised they didn't do me a few demerit points on
Speaker 7: that game anyway, So she shoves the thing in my
Speaker 7: mouth or close enough to you know, the brother supplies it. Yeah,
Speaker 7: And I counted to ten and it came up zilcho.
Speaker 7: All good there, and then he said, all right, can
Speaker 7: I have your driver's license?
Speaker 1: And I gave it to me.
Speaker 7: He went back to the car for about four minutes,
Speaker 7: really trying to make me sweat while I wasn't sweating.
Speaker 7: I was so relaxed. I'm like, there's no way I
Speaker 7: turned right on a red light anyway. Came back and
Speaker 7: he said, we're going to give you an early warning.
Speaker 7: So I got off.
Speaker 1: So you're not going to jail. So I'm not going
Speaker 1: to jail. That's good.
Speaker 3: But I have played cops as an actress.
Speaker 7: I was in a show no one's ever spoken off
Speaker 7: called skirts, and apparently they used to call female cops
Speaker 7: skirts in the old days.
Speaker 3: It's a demeaning thing.
Speaker 7: And so you know, like I relate to police, I
Speaker 7: feel for anyone that has authority coming on anyone else,
Speaker 7: I smell relay away.
Speaker 3: So I want to.
Speaker 7: Know when you've been pulled over by the cops and
Speaker 7: you try to get out of it.
Speaker 5: God, I got pulled over not long ago. Oh yeah,
Speaker 5: you got the.
Speaker 2: Cops for the same reason, except like Mary, I was
Speaker 2: fairly certain I was guilty, and Sam sam over.
Speaker 5: I'm like, and I'm running late. I'm like, oh shit.
Speaker 1: And just bear in mind, in.
Speaker 2: California, you don't have demerit points, so you get all
Speaker 2: the fines you want. You'll never lose a demeraic pot okay, okay.
Speaker 2: So I was striving for three years in Sydney with
Speaker 2: a California license and thinking, doesn't matter, I've got my
Speaker 2: California license. When I finally went to get my Australian license,
Speaker 2: they said, oh, thank you, miss Papenrea.
Speaker 5: You've lost thirty three demera.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you heard it right, thirty three people.
Speaker 2: And turns out they were tracking it, so I had
Speaker 2: to go on probation.
Speaker 5: Re can only lose one.
Speaker 2: I get pulled over on the way to unleash thanks
Speaker 2: it's an expensive day, and he says, excuse me, ma'am.
Speaker 3: That's right, ma'am American home, ma'am.
Speaker 5: Do you realize you ran a red line? What I
Speaker 5: thought it was Amber? I was pretty sure it was Amber.
Speaker 2: He goes, no, I was definitely read. I go, I
Speaker 2: suppose we'll see when the photo's coming out.
Speaker 3: I'm we'll just see.
Speaker 5: But I mean similar thing. You feel like this small?
Speaker 2: Do you feel like a kid who's like badly in
Speaker 2: trouble with the teacher. But in that case, I was like,
Speaker 2: oh god, and I'm glad they caught me. I pushed
Speaker 2: the boundaries and I shouldn't have done it, and you should.
Speaker 5: I do actually think rhades.
Speaker 2: I love that they are so tough in Australia because
Speaker 2: we should all pay attention. So I was glad and
Speaker 2: I was like, bad me, thank you give me the fine.
Speaker 4: So I'm actually an expert of getting out of tickets.
Speaker 4: Listen to this, bitches. I got Jason out of a
Speaker 4: spearing ticket through the red light on my birthday. So
Speaker 4: we went out for date night on my birthday in Perth,
Speaker 4: and he, like you, he thought he went through the
Speaker 4: amber light, but clearly to the cops is a red light.
Speaker 4: So then we got asked to pull over in a
Speaker 4: corner and I said to Jason, go with my flow.
Speaker 4: I said no, I literally said this nime, I go
Speaker 4: my flow, watch and learn.
Speaker 5: Just go with me.
Speaker 4: So the cop came over dressing rolled out the window
Speaker 4: and he went, did you know you went through a
Speaker 4: red light? And Jason goes, I thought it was Ember,
Speaker 4: and I said, officer, can I just say something? I said,
Speaker 4: it's my birthday today and my husband took me out
Speaker 4: for a date night. Our son is with the grannies
Speaker 4: and I said to him after dinner, honey, do you
Speaker 4: want me to drive?
Speaker 3: And he goes, no, no, no, it's your birthday.
Speaker 1: Let me drive.
Speaker 5: And then this happened.
Speaker 4: So then he goes, ma'am, ma'am, is your birthday? To that,
Speaker 4: I said, yes, I said, look at me.
Speaker 1: I'm all dressed.
Speaker 4: I don't look like this normally. I said, I might
Speaker 4: see him come right now, but I'm so fiery inside.
Speaker 4: He's not going to get sex tonight, Oh my god.
Speaker 4: So then he went away and I turned to Jason.
Speaker 4: I said, that's how you do it. And then he
Speaker 4: came back and he goes, sir, I want to let
Speaker 4: this go because it's your wife's birthday. But again, and
Speaker 4: Jason was going to say something, you are not qualified
Speaker 4: to speak right now. I said, thank you, officer. He's
Speaker 4: not going to get any sex tonight.
Speaker 1: Thank you, goodbye.
Speaker 4: So I goes out like three four hundred.
Speaker 5: Dollars, come on, brilliant, that's amazing. Okay.
Speaker 1: Yes, I have a similar story that didn't end as
Speaker 1: well as Grace. I was early days of separation, very emotional,
Speaker 1: not not sort of keeping it together. Was late for daycare,
Speaker 1: went through a red light because I was ugly crying,
Speaker 1: and when they when I got pulled over, and I
Speaker 1: was ugly crying explaining I was late for daycare and
Speaker 1: I was getting divorced. Might have even dropped my ex
Speaker 1: husband's name. He just wrote out the tickets.
Speaker 5: No I have, at least.
Speaker 1: I actually didn't give it to grad.
Speaker 3: But I don't buy this bullshit of it's good.
Speaker 7: This is those emerit points, well good when you got
Speaker 7: sprung with a million of merit points.
Speaker 5: No, But my point is, and I do feel this.
Speaker 2: I feel very strongly that they're very tough on texting
Speaker 2: and that stuff. You should never do it, and I
Speaker 2: do like that they come down hard in Australia because
Speaker 2: it shouldn't happen, And.
Speaker 5: I like that. I'm bored up on it. So there.
Speaker 5: Will you honestly are more freaking concerned citizen than you guys.
Speaker 1: Will you remake skirts because we could all be in it?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I'm only remaking skirts.
Speaker 2: If Mary and Megan Michael were starring it together, there
Speaker 2: were suits.
Speaker 5: Now they're skirts, that's it.
Speaker 1: Grace Lamb is so lovely Tubby on the sofa, and
Speaker 1: you are our residence stylist. So I'm going to ask
Speaker 1: you what is going on in fashion world?
Speaker 4: You know what I saw recently that blew my mind.
Speaker 4: Miss Kate Moss one of my favorite supermodels. She is
Speaker 4: fifty two, she's a year younger than me, and she
Speaker 4: wore like a g string at a Gucci runway show. Yes,
Speaker 4: I mean I thought it was fabulous. What I want
Speaker 4: to ask you, ladies, is that have you ever been
Speaker 4: in an emergency situation where you had to share a
Speaker 4: piece of clothing with your girlfriend or someone like a
Speaker 4: pair of nickers or bra or top, Because I have,
Speaker 4: and that person's Kate Moss. About Kate Moss wore my niggas?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: What nickers?
Speaker 4: So when I was a fashion assistant assistant Edward Nning
Speaker 4: for Obe, we were in Paris. We were shooting in
Speaker 4: Paris with one of the most famous photographer in Paris,
Speaker 4: and it was with Naomi Campbell, another supermodel, And next
Speaker 4: day we had to go back to London via Eurostar
Speaker 4: to shoot Kate Mass. So we went back and we were
Speaker 4: so tired, Me and the third system was so tired.
Speaker 4: We got to London and Edward came in and we
Speaker 4: got all the clothes out. Kate Moss came in. She's
Speaker 4: so fabulous and so cool, cool London London girl er
Speaker 4: goes grace. Can we give Kate a pair of g
Speaker 4: string because we're gonna do like a crop shot for
Speaker 4: you know, a cover, and she's gonna wear this milletant jacket.
Speaker 4: I'm not okay, fine, We looked everywhere in the studio.
Speaker 4: We could not find a beau. We were so tired
Speaker 4: that we left a whole suitcase in Paris. I started sweating.
Speaker 4: So in styling world we have a suitcase called Starling kits.
Speaker 4: There's clips, they're like needles, their threats, you know, like
Speaker 4: those chicken colors, nickas everything in this bad We left
Speaker 4: the whole suitcase in Paris. But we were too tired.
Speaker 4: So then now I looked at the second assistant, I thought,
Speaker 4: oh my god, we loved it in Paris. So then
Speaker 4: er goes, well, come on, get it out.
Speaker 1: He sent me through.
Speaker 4: He sent me to the changing room with Kate Mass,
Speaker 4: just me and Kate Mass together, and I was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, my idol in the same room room
Speaker 4: as me, and she's taking her pants off. I had
Speaker 4: no choice, one of one of my.
Speaker 3: Nickers to her, But you weren't wearing them, no clean
Speaker 3: in don't I pitched you taking off your.
Speaker 4: My dirty nickers. I don't think so so anyway, I
Speaker 4: gave her a clean pair. She said to me, I
Speaker 4: don't really like you string anyway, this is so much better.
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, great, Kate love you. So then we
Speaker 4: did a shoot. Everything was fine, and Kate left. I
Speaker 4: picked up my nickers and I said to all the
Speaker 4: photo assistants, I said, and I said, this pair of nickers.
Speaker 4: Anyone wants this? Because me and Kate both wore it.
Speaker 4: I think one of the photo assistants took it, he
Speaker 4: gave it away. I kept it and on eBay.
Speaker 5: Well, now the only fans was around, then, you.
Speaker 1: Know I'd be so rich. I have a very much
Speaker 1: less sexy version of this story. I was with an
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend, now is it very much next? But we'd
Speaker 1: gone to New Zealand, to the South Island to see
Speaker 1: his mum, who I had not met, and quantus god
Speaker 1: bless them, lost my luggage and so like a day
Speaker 1: in you know, I've done my anddies inside out. But
Speaker 1: by the next day I've had to wear my boyfriend's mums.
Speaker 3: That's crapy.
Speaker 1: They were a strong pant, not a cake must g string.
Speaker 1: But it was just a way of I guess us
Speaker 1: bonding she didn't want them back and I didn't want
Speaker 1: to keep them.
Speaker 5: Why you didn't buy some? Because it was like, you.
Speaker 1: Know, in the middle of like the South Island where
Speaker 1: you're lucky if you could get you know, peanut butter
Speaker 1: let alone.
Speaker 7: Yes, speaking of Bundies, I remember a few months ago,
Speaker 7: Kathy're on the mission to find the love of your
Speaker 7: undy life.
Speaker 5: Did you find them?
Speaker 1: I'm very happy with the love of my Andy's life. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I had so many of our listeners sending their examples
Speaker 1: and I've landed on a very happy pair from Marks
Speaker 1: and Spencers. You can get them online and they're just
Speaker 1: like a very high pant but a bit sexy. There's
Speaker 1: a bit of lace and they're a bit sheer, so
Speaker 1: they're sexy unless you're wearing a pantliner. Then they're not sexy.
Speaker 1: But they're very comfort because they don't dig in and
Speaker 1: they give you a nice shape.
Speaker 5: I'd like the name of those and thanks listening.
Speaker 1: The name of the andies. I can show you, but
Speaker 1: off camera and we'll put a link in the show notes.
Speaker 3: Awesome.
Speaker 1: Okay, is there anything better than somebody else's problems? Well,
Speaker 1: we have a segment called other People's problems where you
Speaker 1: send in your dilemmas or questions and we dispense unqualified
Speaker 1: advice with a lot of confidence. Mary, you've got today's question.
Speaker 5: Yes I do.
Speaker 7: This is from Unleasha Jules. I need some advice, ladies.
Speaker 7: I'm a fifty four year old divorce woman. I'm going
Speaker 7: to my first speed dating event in a few weeks
Speaker 7: and I need your advice on some cracking questions to ask,
Speaker 7: especially great opening ones. I want this to be fun
Speaker 7: and I would love it to be memorable, not boring,
Speaker 7: albeit not come.
Speaker 3: Across as crazy. Any help would be most welcome.
Speaker 7: Now, Jewels, I married Bruna and Grace Artu, so we
Speaker 7: called in a specialist. We said this all the way
Speaker 7: to Sally Hepworth, who is currently in the US on
Speaker 7: her book tour of Mad Mabel. And because Sally is
Speaker 7: post divorce and dating and she's a writer and she
Speaker 7: has a way with words, and frankly she owes us one,
Speaker 7: we're throwing it over to Sally.
Speaker 3: Sally over to you, Hi, Jules, it's Sally here.
Speaker 6: I loved this question. In fact, one of my great
Speaker 6: regrets in life life is that I never have been
Speaker 6: speed dating. But you know, still time. I suppose I've
Speaker 6: thought about a few questions. I'd start off with something soft,
Speaker 6: like what made you sign up for this or who
Speaker 6: dragged you into it? I think that's always a nice
Speaker 6: place to start. A few others, I've asked, what is
Speaker 6: your love language? You know, it's touched by the way
Speaker 6: it's touch for everyone every man likes touch. What would
Speaker 6: your ex girlfriends say about you? I would ask them
Speaker 6: that if it's already going well, because you want to
Speaker 6: see if they're self aware and you know, contrite, if
Speaker 6: they've learned anything. But if they're a bit of a douche,
Speaker 6: you know, just skip over that one because you're not
Speaker 6: going to go on a date with them anyway. What
Speaker 6: is something you're passionate about? I think that's a great
Speaker 6: question to ask because it could be golf, it could
Speaker 6: be gardening. It could be, you know, something really weird
Speaker 6: and creepy. And that could be interesting to find out too,
Speaker 6: because if things don't work out, there's always the chance
Speaker 6: that it's going to be a funny story. But I
Speaker 6: think the most important thing is not a question, but
Speaker 6: a statement. Depending on who's meant to be asking who,
Speaker 6: I would want to say something like, Okay, ask me
Speaker 6: anything you want, because I just hear of so many
Speaker 6: women going on dates and discovering at the end that
Speaker 6: the man didn't even ask them a single question. So
Speaker 6: if it's not on you to ask the questions, if
Speaker 6: it's a two way street, I would open with that
Speaker 6: and just put the pressure on them because let's face it,
Speaker 6: this is when they're doing their best work and they're
Speaker 6: trying to woo you. So if they don't have any
Speaker 6: questions for you, and they're not asking any questions exactly,
Speaker 6: I hope it goes so well. And by the way,
Speaker 6: kudos to you get out there fifty four. Life's just
Speaker 6: begun and apparently we're at our sexual peak as well,
Speaker 6: so have fun.
Speaker 3: We'd think, Kath, what would you ask it?
Speaker 1: Speed Daily? Well, first of all, I love what Sally
Speaker 1: said because having been on a lot of dates, you know,
Speaker 1: with people in their later life, so many men don't
Speaker 1: ask anything. So first of all, I think go with
Speaker 1: what sal said. I would I mean? And I love
Speaker 1: that Jewell says she doesn't want she wants to be interesting,
Speaker 1: but not like kind of bonkers odd, because that's where
Speaker 1: I go. I go bonkers odd. So I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to find a nice middle place for jewels. I would
Speaker 1: be wanting to say. I would want something like, what
Speaker 1: would you you know you're on death row? What's your
Speaker 1: last mail? Or I would want to know what do
Speaker 1: you do on a Sunday morning? Because what they do
Speaker 1: on a Sunday morning could tip you one way or
Speaker 1: the other. I would want to know if they have
Speaker 1: a good relationship with their mum. I would want to
Speaker 1: know what is something that is embarrassing that they do
Speaker 1: but they love but it's quite embarrassing. Like I want,
Speaker 1: you know, I want a bit of vulnerability. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what about you?
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know, but I agree.
Speaker 7: I don't think Australians are very good at asking questions.
Speaker 7: They often just give a statement rather than ask a question.
Speaker 7: Anytime you've been to Q and A, that's that's how
Speaker 7: it comes across. I think if I was Effie, I
Speaker 7: would ask about, you know, liabilities, mortgages, whether they've got
Speaker 7: double gain or they have any dependence, where they got
Speaker 7: any super all those good things.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 7: I just think that, like you said, Kat, I think
Speaker 7: you wanted to see a bit of dimension.
Speaker 1: Yes, I like that too. I did ask a guy
Speaker 1: recently on Bumble and we were getting on really quite well.
Speaker 1: He was a star sign that I wasn't compatible with.
Speaker 3: But here we go again, that's.
Speaker 1: Just like his son's sign. So I was like, he
Speaker 1: could have the perfect rising sign on moon size. So
Speaker 1: I said to him, can you give me your time
Speaker 1: of birth, place of birth and if you could do
Speaker 1: it within this sort of two hour window.
Speaker 4: Already Kat's doing his charts, don't so don't ask me?
Speaker 3: Do you ever in your books?
Speaker 1: So on that big confession. If you've got a problem,
Speaker 1: I mean, listen to how well we helped Jewels just.
Speaker 2: Dm us other people's problems.
Speaker 1: I love that At Unleashed Dot show on Instagram. I
Speaker 1: think that's all we've got time for today. If you're
Speaker 1: listening and thinking, oh my god, I have a friend
Speaker 1: who really needs to listen to these women, please please
Speaker 1: share the episode with her. Also, if you're not already
Speaker 1: following the podcast, it's really easy to go to where
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts and there's a little plus button.
Speaker 3: Hit its h.
Speaker 1: Hit it and we will be in you literally every Tuesday.
Speaker 1: If you ever, thank you love us so as we
Speaker 1: like to say, Juesday. Until then, stay unfiltered, stay unreasonable,
Speaker 1: and stay UNLEASHEDE Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of
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