WEBVTT - The Anaesthesia Resistance That Left Doctors Shocked 0:00:21.773 --> 0:00:24.493 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:25.212 --> 0:00:28.413 Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 0:00:28.453 --> 0:00:31.452 that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects 0:00:31.533 --> 0:00:35.092 to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to 0:00:35.132 --> 0:00:38.253 continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has 0:00:38.293 --> 0:00:40.892 been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture. 0:00:45.333 --> 0:00:49.092 Hi. I'm Cassanya Lukich and this is diary of a birth. 0:00:49.732 --> 0:00:52.812 Some of the most challenging births can also be the 0:00:52.853 --> 0:00:57.133 most healing ones. After having to go under general anesthetic 0:00:57.253 --> 0:01:00.773 during her first birth, today's guest didn't get to experience 0:01:00.893 --> 0:01:04.853 hearing her baby's first cry. Determined to be awake for 0:01:04.932 --> 0:01:09.133 her second, Jordan worked closely with anesetus to find a solution, 0:01:09.773 --> 0:01:12.853 but when the moment came, her body's resistant to medication 0:01:13.413 --> 0:01:15.652 put her in an unthinkable position. 0:01:16.493 --> 0:01:19.053 We either need to get going and try and get 0:01:19.053 --> 0:01:21.972 it done, or we need to put you to sleep. 0:01:22.212 --> 0:01:25.013 So in that moment here I have the decision again 0:01:25.133 --> 0:01:27.052 of am I being put to sleep or am I 0:01:27.092 --> 0:01:29.533 going to try and be awake? Definitely my baby be born. 0:01:30.573 --> 0:01:34.372 When standard anesthesia failed again, she found herself in the 0:01:34.372 --> 0:01:38.212 operating theater, facing a split second choice that would define 0:01:38.293 --> 0:01:41.572 her birth experience. So let's meet today's mum. 0:01:42.252 --> 0:01:44.693 Hi, my name is Jordan and this is my diary 0:01:44.693 --> 0:01:49.173 of a birth with Dakota. 0:01:49.293 --> 0:01:51.973 So, Jordan, can you tell us a little bit about 0:01:52.013 --> 0:01:53.892 You've got two kids now, you've got a four and 0:01:53.933 --> 0:01:56.653 a two year old. Can you tell us a little 0:01:56.653 --> 0:01:59.172 bit about your birth with Matilda. 0:01:59.813 --> 0:02:03.453 Yeah, so I had your stational diabetes. So they had 0:02:03.493 --> 0:02:07.133 always spoken about induction. I had a failed induction, so 0:02:07.333 --> 0:02:10.132 I didn't progress, and heart rate and everything like that 0:02:10.213 --> 0:02:14.053 went pretty high, which turned into an emergency cesarean. They 0:02:14.173 --> 0:02:16.893 tried to put in an epidural twice and it didn't 0:02:16.933 --> 0:02:20.452 really work, so when we got up to theater, they 0:02:20.493 --> 0:02:24.853 tried to then put in a spinal which was working. 0:02:25.013 --> 0:02:27.373 And as soon as they started to do the procedure 0:02:27.373 --> 0:02:29.373 and started to cut, I was like I can feel this. 0:02:29.453 --> 0:02:32.653 I can feel this, Like please stop now, Like no, no, 0:02:32.532 --> 0:02:33.933 you'll feel a little bit of tai. I was like no, 0:02:34.333 --> 0:02:37.333 Like I can feel you cutting, I need to stop now. 0:02:37.613 --> 0:02:39.893 So I actually was put to sleep for her birth, 0:02:39.933 --> 0:02:42.493 so I wasn't awake at all while she was being born. 0:02:42.773 --> 0:02:47.412 Yeah, obviously with that that is quite scary to feel 0:02:47.412 --> 0:02:52.853 that pain when you fell pregnant with Dakota. Was that 0:02:52.972 --> 0:02:54.772 kind of in the back of your mind. 0:02:55.173 --> 0:02:59.293 Yes, totally. From the beginning, I had made it known 0:02:59.412 --> 0:03:02.813 with my hospital that this happened the first time, and 0:03:02.852 --> 0:03:05.852 I don't want it to happen again, So they'd actually 0:03:05.972 --> 0:03:08.853 organized appointments with an ethodist to talk through it, to 0:03:08.972 --> 0:03:11.053 make sure that, like, if I was going to have 0:03:11.093 --> 0:03:14.013 a cesarean, then I could be awake for it, because 0:03:14.013 --> 0:03:16.413 that was my main thing, apart from it being scary 0:03:16.453 --> 0:03:19.053 and not nice to feel. I wanted to meet my 0:03:19.173 --> 0:03:21.572 baby like as soon as I born, and I didn't 0:03:21.572 --> 0:03:23.252 get to do that the first time I was it 0:03:23.292 --> 0:03:25.852 was an hour later during COVID. My partner didn't even 0:03:25.852 --> 0:03:28.972 get to meet her until they're neither, so that was 0:03:29.093 --> 0:03:29.653 huge for me. 0:03:30.252 --> 0:03:34.693 Yeah, with your first with Matilda, because they had to 0:03:34.733 --> 0:03:37.453 put you under general and aesthetic, you didn't get to 0:03:37.493 --> 0:03:41.893 meet us straight away. No, so how long after were 0:03:41.933 --> 0:03:44.133 you able to be with her? 0:03:44.493 --> 0:03:46.813 Yeah? So she was born at twenty three twenty three, 0:03:46.893 --> 0:03:51.253 so eleven twenty three PM, and I got to meet her, 0:03:51.253 --> 0:03:53.053 and all the photos of us meeting for the first 0:03:53.053 --> 0:03:55.773 time were at twelve thirty five, So that's over an 0:03:55.853 --> 0:03:58.732 hour later. So you know people talk about the golden hour. Well, 0:03:59.453 --> 0:04:01.733 neither myself or my partner got to meet her within 0:04:01.733 --> 0:04:02.413 that first hour. 0:04:03.053 --> 0:04:04.853 Yeah, and you would have been kind of out of 0:04:04.853 --> 0:04:06.732 it as well, because you're coming out of general aesthetic. 0:04:06.973 --> 0:04:09.933 Yeah, and it was twelve thirty in the morning after 0:04:10.253 --> 0:04:13.133 laboring all day, so, like I was exhausted. I could 0:04:13.133 --> 0:04:15.973 barely keep my eyes open. I was so excited to 0:04:15.973 --> 0:04:18.493 meet this little girl that you know, we didn't know 0:04:18.493 --> 0:04:20.093 we're having a girl, so I was so excited to 0:04:20.093 --> 0:04:25.013 meet her. But yeah, it was just a lot not 0:04:25.213 --> 0:04:26.933 knowing that I would be put to sleep, then not 0:04:27.093 --> 0:04:30.893 knowing that even my partner wouldn't be meeting her. Yeah, straightaway. 0:04:31.453 --> 0:04:35.293 So you fell pregnant with Dakota, you kind of knew 0:04:35.333 --> 0:04:38.973 that this was the case that anesthesia didn't quite work 0:04:39.013 --> 0:04:43.573 on you the way that it normally does. You have 0:04:43.693 --> 0:04:47.173 your meeting with the anethetist. How are you feeling throughout 0:04:47.213 --> 0:04:50.653 the pregnancy while having this in the back of your mind. 0:04:51.093 --> 0:04:54.613 Honestly, my first thought was let's try and have a 0:04:54.733 --> 0:04:56.653 v back because I don't want to have to go 0:04:56.773 --> 0:05:00.653 through this again. That was my initial thought, and I'd 0:05:00.693 --> 0:05:02.853 sort of tried to prepare for that as much as 0:05:02.853 --> 0:05:06.213 I could until I got to about, I want to say, 0:05:06.213 --> 0:05:08.133 maybe thirty four weeks, and things sort of took a 0:05:08.133 --> 0:05:10.973 little bit of a change. So that's when then I 0:05:11.093 --> 0:05:15.133 knew I'm going to have to have a planned caesar. Okay, 0:05:15.373 --> 0:05:17.933 this is like a bit stressful. Are these things going 0:05:17.933 --> 0:05:20.533 to happen again? Yeah? It was very stressful for my 0:05:20.693 --> 0:05:22.533 self and for my partner because it was obviously very 0:05:22.533 --> 0:05:23.533 traumatic for him too. 0:05:24.093 --> 0:05:27.013 What was it about at thirty four weeks meaning you 0:05:27.053 --> 0:05:29.373 couldn't have a vback? Why couldn't you have a vback? 0:05:29.813 --> 0:05:34.133 Yeah, So initially we thought I was going into labor early, 0:05:34.733 --> 0:05:36.453 so we'd sort of spoken about that. I was in 0:05:36.533 --> 0:05:39.333 hospital for a week and then she was doing a 0:05:39.373 --> 0:05:45.013 few reduced movements flipping breach not being breach, and it 0:05:45.053 --> 0:05:47.973 was a bit like my hospital went super keen on 0:05:48.013 --> 0:05:52.493 a breach feedback, as a lot wouldn't be. So then 0:05:52.933 --> 0:05:56.733 when it got to my third well, thirty five ish weeks, 0:05:57.293 --> 0:05:59.413 I started having more reduced movements and I went in 0:05:59.453 --> 0:06:02.933 for a scan and they estimated that at thirty six 0:06:02.973 --> 0:06:07.053 weeks she was measuring around over four kilos and she 0:06:07.213 --> 0:06:10.773 turned breach. So they were like, if you were thinking 0:06:10.813 --> 0:06:14.293 of doing a meedback, it's probably not going to happen. Yeah. 0:06:14.493 --> 0:06:17.333 I know with your first you had gestational diabetes. You 0:06:17.413 --> 0:06:22.133 also had HG, which is the hyper emai scabbardarium. I 0:06:22.133 --> 0:06:23.452 can never pronounce it properly. 0:06:23.693 --> 0:06:25.892 Yeah, yeah, yeah, did you have that with your second 0:06:25.933 --> 0:06:28.333 as well? No, So I had like I had some 0:06:28.453 --> 0:06:32.013 nausea and morning sickness and vomiting with Dakota, but I 0:06:32.133 --> 0:06:34.413 didn't have it anywhere to the extreme as I did 0:06:34.413 --> 0:06:36.813 with Matilda. Like I could still eat, I could still 0:06:36.853 --> 0:06:39.333 go to work, whereas with my first, I felt like 0:06:39.693 --> 0:06:41.693 I spent a lot of time. It was lockdown, so 0:06:41.733 --> 0:06:43.973 we obviously weren't doing a lot anyway, but I felt 0:06:44.013 --> 0:06:46.053 like I spent a lot of the time not doing 0:06:46.093 --> 0:06:48.013 anything because I was sick all the time. Where As 0:06:48.053 --> 0:06:50.533 second time round, I still had gestational diabetes, but I 0:06:50.573 --> 0:06:55.133 didn't have the severe morning sickness HG that I did 0:06:55.173 --> 0:06:55.773 with my first. 0:06:56.453 --> 0:07:00.133 So you get to thirty six weeks, you're kind of like, Okay, 0:07:00.173 --> 0:07:03.733 we've got to put this Caesar in place. When did 0:07:03.773 --> 0:07:05.413 they book that in for you? 0:07:05.933 --> 0:07:07.813 So just before thirty six weeks, So I was about 0:07:07.813 --> 0:07:11.173 thirty five and six maybe, so it was like two 0:07:11.293 --> 0:07:13.133 or three days before I went thirty six weeks. I 0:07:13.173 --> 0:07:15.693 had a reduced movements where I didn't really feel her 0:07:15.773 --> 0:07:19.613 move I went in, they did like some monitoring. It 0:07:19.653 --> 0:07:22.093 came back okay, so they were like, let's just do 0:07:22.133 --> 0:07:24.253 another lot tomorrow and then we've got this scan booked 0:07:24.253 --> 0:07:27.253 in two days, so like that'll be perfect. So I 0:07:27.373 --> 0:07:32.573 did the scan and the scan went from oh, she's 0:07:32.693 --> 0:07:35.613 breached to this is urgent. You actually need to go 0:07:35.773 --> 0:07:40.093 back to your doctor. I'm not recording movement, so like 0:07:40.213 --> 0:07:43.533 in the scan they say, you know, like they should 0:07:43.573 --> 0:07:47.053 tick off. Are they like practicing breathing? Are they moving? 0:07:47.173 --> 0:07:51.493 And she wasn't doing any movements. She was just in 0:07:51.533 --> 0:07:56.213 the one spot. So I went in to my doctor 0:07:56.253 --> 0:08:00.293 straight after and they said to me, ideally we'd like 0:08:00.333 --> 0:08:03.693 to get to thirty seven weeks, but if you come 0:08:03.733 --> 0:08:07.413 in every single day and we do monitoring, you may 0:08:07.453 --> 0:08:12.813 come in and she may come out. It's like pretty stressful. 0:08:13.133 --> 0:08:15.333 So they had it looked in for a week later 0:08:15.413 --> 0:08:18.813 at thirty seven weeks exactly. But it was literally like 0:08:19.253 --> 0:08:21.333 our laugh is on pause because we didn't know if 0:08:21.333 --> 0:08:23.333 we're going to have a baby that day. 0:08:23.733 --> 0:08:26.693 So your partner, Hugh, you've got a toddler, a two 0:08:26.813 --> 0:08:30.093 year old, and I know how difficult it is being 0:08:30.133 --> 0:08:33.133 pregnant with a two year old. It is very hard. 0:08:33.973 --> 0:08:37.173 And then your partner, Hugh, so during that last week, 0:08:37.373 --> 0:08:41.413 how was he and you know, your family with that, 0:08:41.492 --> 0:08:44.973 because obviously it's very heightened anxiety around that time. 0:08:45.612 --> 0:08:48.893 Yeah, we're so lucky that we have really supportive families, 0:08:49.173 --> 0:08:51.533 families that are very close to us, like my mum 0:08:51.732 --> 0:08:54.333 and his mum, and everyone was very like, if we 0:08:54.413 --> 0:08:57.013 need to help, we help. And at that point until 0:08:57.013 --> 0:08:59.653 it wasn't in childcare, so like she was always with 0:08:59.693 --> 0:09:01.732 me and me having to go into a hospital every day, 0:09:02.013 --> 0:09:05.173 it means that somebody has to have her. So everyone 0:09:05.293 --> 0:09:08.573 was very stressed knowing that she's probably going to come early, 0:09:08.613 --> 0:09:11.533 but also like she couldn't be coming at any time, 0:09:12.213 --> 0:09:15.253 and he was just trying to work so that then 0:09:15.333 --> 0:09:17.653 when she did come, he could then take the time off. 0:09:17.693 --> 0:09:20.773 He didn't want to take time off while we're waiting 0:09:20.813 --> 0:09:23.973 that Okay, she might not be here until thirty seven weeks, 0:09:24.293 --> 0:09:26.853 so let's try and you know, get in and he's 0:09:26.853 --> 0:09:28.853 only five minutes from the hospital where he works, so 0:09:29.373 --> 0:09:31.413 it's not as bad, but yeah. 0:09:31.653 --> 0:09:33.493 Will you stay at home mom at the time? 0:09:33.973 --> 0:09:36.733 Yeah, yeah, obviously that's. 0:09:36.493 --> 0:09:42.093 Also very challenging. Your partner, Hugh works full time. He 0:09:42.173 --> 0:09:44.533 doesn't want to take time off. Do you make it 0:09:44.573 --> 0:09:45.813 to thirty seven weeks? 0:09:46.173 --> 0:09:48.453 Yeah? So I was really lucky. So the thirty seven 0:09:48.453 --> 0:09:50.813 weeks was the Monday, so that's when we were booked 0:09:50.853 --> 0:09:52.413 in and we were told to come in on that day. 0:09:52.693 --> 0:09:54.853 On this Saturday, I went in and I had the 0:09:54.893 --> 0:09:57.133 monitoring done and they were a bit like, I'm not 0:09:57.173 --> 0:09:59.933 sure if you're going home today. I think she could 0:09:59.933 --> 0:10:02.533 be coming, but because she was thirty six weeks, they 0:10:02.533 --> 0:10:04.773 wanted to make sure that everybody was there, so they 0:10:04.893 --> 0:10:06.853 kept monitoring me and I was there for probably five 0:10:06.893 --> 0:10:10.213 or six hours, and then they went, okay, we're happy 0:10:10.253 --> 0:10:13.533 with this monitoring. Let's like you've got two days to go. 0:10:13.653 --> 0:10:15.693 Let's just try and get through to this thirty seven 0:10:15.693 --> 0:10:18.893 week because we've got a team ready to go. So 0:10:18.933 --> 0:10:21.173 I managed to make it to thirty seven week. So 0:10:22.133 --> 0:10:24.893 I was booked in and I was the first off 0:10:24.893 --> 0:10:27.453 the rank, so like they're at seven o'clock ready to go, 0:10:27.573 --> 0:10:28.293 which was lovely. 0:10:28.733 --> 0:10:31.773 Did you go through the public system private system? Where 0:10:31.773 --> 0:10:32.413 are you based? 0:10:32.733 --> 0:10:35.733 Yeah, so I'm near Ballarat, so I went publicly through 0:10:35.813 --> 0:10:37.453 the hospital in Balerat. 0:10:37.693 --> 0:10:39.653 So that's you know, regional basically. 0:10:40.253 --> 0:10:41.973 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so you're. 0:10:41.853 --> 0:10:45.373 In the regional system. You're in the public system. Did 0:10:45.413 --> 0:10:48.933 you have consistent care throughout your pregnancy. 0:10:49.413 --> 0:10:53.413 No, so I've seeing different doctors midwives the whole way through. 0:10:53.453 --> 0:10:56.493 I was really lucky that I had an incredible student midwife, Indy, 0:10:56.573 --> 0:10:59.573 who was with me the whole way through. That was 0:10:59.933 --> 0:11:02.413 my only consistent and it was nice that I had 0:11:02.493 --> 0:11:04.413 her to be able to be lack We talked about 0:11:04.453 --> 0:11:07.893 this last time. This is what we wanted sort of 0:11:07.973 --> 0:11:10.413 when I got to I don't really not to say 0:11:10.493 --> 0:11:13.533 in appointments, but I didn't have any of the consistency 0:11:13.613 --> 0:11:16.493 of seeing the same doctor. They sort of read my notes, 0:11:16.733 --> 0:11:18.613 freak out a little bit, and then I'd have to 0:11:18.613 --> 0:11:22.973 explain everything over again. So that was very difficult too. Yeah. 0:11:23.053 --> 0:11:25.453 How did that make you feel during that time? Was 0:11:25.453 --> 0:11:27.453 it frustrating or Yeah? 0:11:27.533 --> 0:11:29.933 It was very like and I think too A lot 0:11:29.933 --> 0:11:32.373 of the time they would sort of jump the gun 0:11:32.413 --> 0:11:34.813 whenever I'd go in for monitoring because they'd read the 0:11:34.853 --> 0:11:37.493 notes and then they'd freak a little bit and be like, 0:11:37.493 --> 0:11:39.893 oh my goodness, we really need to sort this out. 0:11:40.013 --> 0:11:43.133 And I'd be like, hold on a minute, like go back. 0:11:43.333 --> 0:11:46.053 It's not as you know, like, yeah, okay, I want 0:11:46.053 --> 0:11:48.853 my baby to be healthy, but like just come and 0:11:48.893 --> 0:11:50.973 talk to me first, and don't just read what you're 0:11:51.013 --> 0:11:53.373 reading on a piece of paper like I'm a person. 0:11:54.173 --> 0:11:56.013 So I found that really really hard. 0:11:56.453 --> 0:11:59.253 Yeah, so every time you went in, they kind of 0:11:59.413 --> 0:12:00.853 freak out and go, okay, we need to get this 0:12:00.853 --> 0:12:02.933 baby out now because of what was on the paper. 0:12:03.213 --> 0:12:05.653 Yeah, and just the fact that like i'd seen one 0:12:05.653 --> 0:12:09.413 of the head doctors and she was the one that 0:12:09.613 --> 0:12:12.573 was sure that we could make it to thirty seven weeks, 0:12:12.573 --> 0:12:15.093 that if we did this monitoring, and also on my 0:12:15.173 --> 0:12:18.133 own intuition, like if I felt something changed, then I 0:12:18.173 --> 0:12:20.333 would come and you know, and that's what she said 0:12:20.333 --> 0:12:22.093 to me. So I think we can make it to 0:12:22.213 --> 0:12:25.252 thirty seven. But I would go in a doctor that 0:12:25.333 --> 0:12:28.612 hadn't seen me before. We'd go, oh my gosh, this 0:12:28.693 --> 0:12:30.533 is a lot we need to get this baby out 0:12:30.573 --> 0:12:33.372 now sort of thing, without being like, actually, I'm not 0:12:33.453 --> 0:12:36.693 as stressed today, Yeah, we need to monitor the baby, 0:12:36.733 --> 0:12:39.453 but today I'm not as stressed because I felt a 0:12:39.613 --> 0:12:44.413 kick or two in comparison to nothing coming up. I 0:12:44.453 --> 0:12:46.612 think it was maybe two days later, and they were like, 0:12:47.133 --> 0:12:50.093 we've kin't of never seen anything quite like it, because 0:12:50.093 --> 0:12:52.773 by the time I got to recovery, I could feel 0:12:52.773 --> 0:12:55.573 my legs like I could wiggle and that's not very long. 0:12:56.053 --> 0:13:00.333 They were like, this is crazy. 0:13:04.053 --> 0:13:06.333 You get to your thirty seven weeks, you go in 0:13:06.413 --> 0:13:09.413 for your planned season. What does that look like when 0:13:09.453 --> 0:13:10.053 you're going in. 0:13:10.613 --> 0:13:13.853 Yeah, So obviously had a couple of appointments with the 0:13:13.853 --> 0:13:17.533 anesthetics prior just to go through what had happened in 0:13:17.533 --> 0:13:21.933 the first and that my main goal was to be awake. 0:13:22.253 --> 0:13:25.333 That's all I wanted if I could. I also didn't 0:13:25.373 --> 0:13:31.093 want to completely traumatize myself by feeling everything and just 0:13:31.173 --> 0:13:33.813 pushing through because I thought that was the right thing 0:13:33.813 --> 0:13:38.133 to do. So I went in. They did the spinal 0:13:38.693 --> 0:13:40.573 as they normally would. You know, you're like a ye, 0:13:40.653 --> 0:13:43.533 lean over, They put the needle in, they laid me down, 0:13:43.893 --> 0:13:45.693 and they did the ars test where they go up 0:13:45.693 --> 0:13:47.813 and try and work out where it was two and 0:13:48.373 --> 0:13:50.493 they got to my hips, and then they got past 0:13:50.533 --> 0:13:52.093 my hips. I was like, oh yeah, I can feel that, 0:13:52.693 --> 0:13:56.293 and they were like you can feel it. I was 0:13:56.333 --> 0:13:59.293 like yeah yeah, and I'm like okay. So they did 0:13:59.413 --> 0:14:01.573 like where they tilted the bed so like my head 0:14:01.653 --> 0:14:03.173 was down and my feet were up in the air, 0:14:03.253 --> 0:14:05.973 and let that go for a little bit, and then 0:14:06.453 --> 0:14:08.933 did the Yce test again and it maybe moved a 0:14:08.933 --> 0:14:12.933 centimeter up and they were like, this is weird. The 0:14:13.053 --> 0:14:15.453 actual spinal like that they put in the needle and 0:14:15.453 --> 0:14:18.013 everything was perfect, like there was nothing wrong with that, 0:14:18.613 --> 0:14:21.493 just that the anti saith wasn't coming up. So they 0:14:21.573 --> 0:14:24.413 ended up calling in a second so I had two 0:14:24.453 --> 0:14:27.373 anetheists in the room then at that point. So they 0:14:27.373 --> 0:14:31.813 got me up and they redid it. So they gave 0:14:31.813 --> 0:14:35.293 me a second lot of spinal. So I'd had one lot, 0:14:35.333 --> 0:14:37.613 now I was having a second lot. And they said 0:14:37.613 --> 0:14:40.293 to me, the only thing to be aware of is 0:14:40.613 --> 0:14:42.533 because we're giving you so much, there's a chance that 0:14:42.573 --> 0:14:44.333 it could go too high and then you might feel 0:14:44.333 --> 0:14:46.053 like you can't breathe and then we will have to 0:14:46.133 --> 0:14:49.853 knock you out. So here's me being like, I don't 0:14:49.853 --> 0:14:51.533 want to feel anything, but I could get to a 0:14:51.573 --> 0:14:54.533 point where I feel like I can't breathe. Oh my goodness. 0:14:54.533 --> 0:14:56.933 They're like, so it's up to you, but we don't 0:14:56.933 --> 0:15:00.413 think it's likely because of how it didn't go up 0:15:00.573 --> 0:15:04.213 a huge way. And I was like, okay, well, I 0:15:04.253 --> 0:15:07.413 guess let's try it then. So they did the second lot, 0:15:08.093 --> 0:15:11.933 same thing, laid me down and did the ARS test 0:15:12.773 --> 0:15:16.293 and it got to the bottom of my rib cage, 0:15:16.893 --> 0:15:21.413 so like a lot higher. And they said, Okay, I 0:15:21.453 --> 0:15:23.253 don't think we're going to get it up any higher 0:15:23.853 --> 0:15:27.053 because we can't give you a third dose that like 0:15:27.093 --> 0:15:30.693 we've never given anyone that much. We either need to 0:15:30.893 --> 0:15:34.333 get going and try and get it done, or we 0:15:34.373 --> 0:15:36.693 need to put you to sleep. So in that moment 0:15:36.933 --> 0:15:40.293 here I have the decision again of am I being 0:15:40.293 --> 0:15:41.733 put to sleep or am I going to try and 0:15:41.773 --> 0:15:43.853 be awake? Definitely my baby be born. 0:15:44.533 --> 0:15:47.093 And I'm assuming your partner Hugh was in the room 0:15:47.133 --> 0:15:49.653 at the time. Did you have a discussion about that. 0:15:49.933 --> 0:15:53.333 Were you like, let's try or just put me under? 0:15:53.773 --> 0:15:57.373 Yeah? So my student midwife, Indy, and him, and I 0:15:57.413 --> 0:15:59.333 also was really lucky one of the theater nurses that 0:15:59.333 --> 0:16:01.893 actually a family friend, so she was really good at 0:16:01.933 --> 0:16:03.693 being sort of like a motherly figure over the top 0:16:03.733 --> 0:16:05.693 of me. And she was like, at the end of 0:16:05.773 --> 0:16:08.373 the day, if you can't do it, you can't do it, 0:16:09.173 --> 0:16:12.293 but why don't we try? And the needy to have 0:16:12.293 --> 0:16:14.493 said to me, we can always try, and if you 0:16:14.613 --> 0:16:17.773 get five minutes in and you got I can't do this, 0:16:18.173 --> 0:16:20.933 we'll put you to sleep, like it's fine. And I 0:16:21.013 --> 0:16:23.853 sort of was like, I think I would prefer that 0:16:23.973 --> 0:16:27.493 I try then that I'd just be put to sleep now. 0:16:27.533 --> 0:16:30.053 And I have that like what if I try it? 0:16:30.373 --> 0:16:33.133 So we had that discussion and they were like, all right, 0:16:33.133 --> 0:16:34.893 are we getting started or not. Like we sort of 0:16:34.933 --> 0:16:38.253 had like a good fifteen seconds to really discuss, Like 0:16:38.293 --> 0:16:40.773 it was not a very long time, but it was like, okay, 0:16:40.893 --> 0:16:43.093 let's just go at it and let's just see and 0:16:43.373 --> 0:16:44.693 fingers crossed it works. 0:16:45.013 --> 0:16:51.093 So they will you into the operating theater and they start, yep, 0:16:51.813 --> 0:16:53.253 did you feel anything. 0:16:54.653 --> 0:16:59.013 Well, So it actually turned out that Dakota's head was 0:16:59.093 --> 0:17:02.373 jammed up in my ribs, which meant that because the 0:17:02.413 --> 0:17:05.213 anesthetic was up to my rib cage and her head 0:17:05.253 --> 0:17:08.453 was a little bit higher that when they started. So 0:17:08.853 --> 0:17:12.973 like initially it was okay, I couldn't feel really anything, 0:17:13.013 --> 0:17:15.372 a bit of tugging, as they sort of say. But 0:17:15.493 --> 0:17:17.413 as they sort of started to try and get her, 0:17:18.453 --> 0:17:20.013 I was like, oh my gosh, I can feel it. 0:17:20.052 --> 0:17:21.933 I can feel it. Oh my gosh, stop stop, I 0:17:21.973 --> 0:17:23.493 can feel this. And they were like, no, no, it's just 0:17:23.532 --> 0:17:24.933 a bit of time. I was like, no, I can. 0:17:25.133 --> 0:17:27.253 But because of where her head was and where the 0:17:27.653 --> 0:17:32.453 anithetic stopped, I obviously could feel that's where she was 0:17:32.493 --> 0:17:33.733 they were trying to get her from. 0:17:33.973 --> 0:17:40.093 Yeah, so you could feel someone's hands inside you. 0:17:39.213 --> 0:17:42.693 Right up at my roob cage, and I was like, 0:17:42.813 --> 0:17:44.133 oh my gosh. They were like, do you want us 0:17:44.133 --> 0:17:46.013 to put your sleep? And I was like I don't. 0:17:46.093 --> 0:17:49.253 And in that moment, I didn't know what I wanted, Like, 0:17:49.293 --> 0:17:52.213 I did not know. I knew that the baby was 0:17:52.253 --> 0:17:55.052 so close to being born. I didn't know if I 0:17:55.133 --> 0:17:57.013 wanted to be put to sleep or if I could 0:17:57.053 --> 0:18:01.333 just try and get through it. It was insane. 0:18:01.973 --> 0:18:06.173 I'm kind of in shock because you're effectively feeling someone's 0:18:06.213 --> 0:18:11.973 hands inside you, yep, trying to pull your baby out. 0:18:12.413 --> 0:18:15.293 Correct. So they literally said to me, we either knock 0:18:15.293 --> 0:18:17.773 you out or we give you some like pretty strong 0:18:18.093 --> 0:18:21.773 pain mets, and I was like, are the paid meds first? 0:18:21.773 --> 0:18:25.332 Because I was like, I've made it this far, let's 0:18:25.933 --> 0:18:29.293 just try and get like, I'm so close. I didn't 0:18:29.293 --> 0:18:30.973 think I would make it to this point because I 0:18:31.013 --> 0:18:34.213 didn't with my you know, with Matilda. I was they 0:18:34.453 --> 0:18:38.173 started and I was asleep, so like, I'd got through 0:18:38.213 --> 0:18:41.453 the first part, surely I can try and get through 0:18:41.493 --> 0:18:43.613 the next bit. So they pumped me in with a 0:18:43.653 --> 0:18:48.052 couple of drugs, which my partner says he thought that 0:18:48.133 --> 0:18:50.693 I wasn't awake like in the room because I was 0:18:50.733 --> 0:18:53.653 so out of it, but I was there. My eyes 0:18:53.653 --> 0:18:55.173 were just closed and it was like I was resting, 0:18:55.213 --> 0:18:59.453 but I needed some serious stuff to get through that part. 0:19:00.253 --> 0:19:04.413 Yeah wow, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, so you get through 0:19:04.453 --> 0:19:07.093 it just just first of all, like the women are amazing. 0:19:07.093 --> 0:19:09.773 This is incredible that you could just resist that, like 0:19:10.013 --> 0:19:14.613 deal with that kind of pain. So they eventually able 0:19:14.693 --> 0:19:17.173 to get her out. I'm assuming it's fairly quick because 0:19:17.253 --> 0:19:19.933 usually CE sections are fairly quick, but it probably didn't 0:19:19.933 --> 0:19:20.773 feel quick for you. 0:19:21.093 --> 0:19:23.933 Yeah, it felt like an eternity. But when I look back, 0:19:24.013 --> 0:19:27.132 like I've got some really cool live pictures and it 0:19:27.293 --> 0:19:30.053 was very fast. You know, I've got pictures of them 0:19:30.293 --> 0:19:33.773 pulling her out of my rib cage, so between that 0:19:33.813 --> 0:19:36.973 and her actually being out was very fast, but it 0:19:37.013 --> 0:19:39.653 felt like forever in my lifetime. 0:19:40.253 --> 0:19:42.493 But you know, you said that it was healing because 0:19:42.533 --> 0:19:43.253 you were able to. 0:19:43.173 --> 0:19:44.933 Be away, Yeah, one hundred percent. 0:19:45.173 --> 0:19:47.812 So they put Dakota straight onto your chest. 0:19:48.533 --> 0:19:53.493 No, so they lifted her up and obviously my partner 0:19:53.493 --> 0:19:57.573 got to be like, it's another girl, And unfortunately when 0:19:57.573 --> 0:20:00.813 she came out, she was a little bit purply blue. 0:20:01.813 --> 0:20:04.653 She let out a cry, so that was amazing because 0:20:04.653 --> 0:20:07.733 you know, obviously we didn't get to hear Matilda's first cry, 0:20:08.013 --> 0:20:11.493 but she was a little bit not great, so they 0:20:11.493 --> 0:20:13.733 took her straight to the rest of us attear and 0:20:14.493 --> 0:20:16.853 she did eventually have to go straight to special cares. 0:20:16.853 --> 0:20:19.653 So I didn't actually get to do that first hold, 0:20:19.693 --> 0:20:22.653 which is what I wan wanted. But I think it's 0:20:22.653 --> 0:20:27.493 still was healing because I got to see her be 0:20:27.733 --> 0:20:30.292 in the world for the first time, whereas I didn't 0:20:30.333 --> 0:20:33.853 with Matilda. I still missed out on that holding part, 0:20:34.573 --> 0:20:37.093 but I seen her first moments which I didn't get 0:20:37.133 --> 0:20:37.853 to with Matilda. 0:20:38.573 --> 0:20:41.852 Yeah, do you feel sad that you didn't get to 0:20:42.013 --> 0:20:45.693