1 00:00:10,661 --> 00:00:15,022 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges 2 00:00:15,062 --> 00:00:18,062 Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 3 00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:21,262 Speaker 1: is recorded on. Hey, out louders, are you raising kids 4 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:24,062 Speaker 1: and trying to keep up with the world. Well, I've 5 00:00:24,061 --> 00:00:26,942 Speaker 1: got a little something for your Saturday. It's called Parenting 6 00:00:26,942 --> 00:00:30,462 Speaker 1: out Loud. It's me Monique Bowie with Amelia Lesta and 7 00:00:30,542 --> 00:00:33,622 Speaker 1: Stacy Hicks, and we break down the latest from the zeitgeist, 8 00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:38,502 Speaker 1: new cycle and trending mumtop conversations with smart, sharp takes 9 00:00:38,942 --> 00:00:42,742 Speaker 1: and zero sugarcoating. This is episode two and if you 10 00:00:42,782 --> 00:00:45,662 Speaker 1: missed last week, all good, but we did have people say, look, 11 00:00:45,662 --> 00:00:47,622 Speaker 1: I'm not even a parent and I'm very into this. 12 00:00:47,942 --> 00:00:50,422 Speaker 1: So we're back gate crashing here in the MoMA mea 13 00:00:50,462 --> 00:00:52,742 Speaker 1: out Loud feed. But it's only for a really short time. 14 00:00:53,142 --> 00:00:55,622 Speaker 1: So if you're into this hit follow on the Parenting 15 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:59,022 Speaker 1: out Loud Feed, open your app, type it in, tap 16 00:00:59,062 --> 00:01:02,422 Speaker 1: the little plus button. Done that way, we get to 17 00:01:02,502 --> 00:01:04,941 Speaker 1: keep making this show and you can get back to 18 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:09,102 Speaker 1: just hearing Holly and Jesse and Amelia and Mia depending 19 00:01:09,142 --> 00:01:12,902 Speaker 1: on what less's up to in your ears here. Okay, 20 00:01:13,142 --> 00:01:16,742 Speaker 1: the business part is done. Let's go. Here's episode two 21 00:01:16,822 --> 00:01:25,902 Speaker 1: of a brand new season of Parenting Out Loud. Hello, 22 00:01:26,062 --> 00:01:29,462 Speaker 1: and welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast where if 23 00:01:29,502 --> 00:01:32,662 Speaker 1: parents are thinking about it, we are talking about it. 24 00:01:32,702 --> 00:01:35,142 Speaker 1: I'm Monque Bowley, and I am joined by my gorgeous 25 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:40,502 Speaker 1: co host, the delightful Stacy Hicks and big brain Amelia Lester. 26 00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:44,902 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I just need to announce that I 27 00:01:44,982 --> 00:01:48,142 Speaker 2: ran to the bus this morning in pouring rain, so 28 00:01:48,422 --> 00:01:51,622 Speaker 2: I hope I'm giving glowy, not sweaty. But if I'm 29 00:01:51,702 --> 00:01:53,702 Speaker 2: giving sweaty, I apologize. 30 00:01:53,902 --> 00:01:56,582 Speaker 3: It's giving both and it's great. The translation how I 31 00:01:56,582 --> 00:01:57,942 Speaker 3: can only do so much. 32 00:01:58,382 --> 00:02:01,302 Speaker 1: Very dewy. I'm into it. It has been a very 33 00:02:01,342 --> 00:02:04,542 Speaker 1: big week in parenting culture. On today's show, there has 34 00:02:04,622 --> 00:02:08,501 Speaker 1: been a tiny shift in the marketing of Father's Day 35 00:02:08,702 --> 00:02:11,781 Speaker 1: that I need to unpack with you guys. Plus, does 36 00:02:11,862 --> 00:02:15,182 Speaker 1: Bluey give you warm feelings or the creeping sense that 37 00:02:15,462 --> 00:02:18,822 Speaker 1: you're a bit of a shit parent? Welcome to the Bluey. 38 00:02:18,822 --> 00:02:21,622 Speaker 1: Inadequately complex, and at the end of the show, we're 39 00:02:21,662 --> 00:02:23,182 Speaker 1: going to tell you all the things we're loving and 40 00:02:23,222 --> 00:02:25,542 Speaker 1: we think that you might love too. It's kind of 41 00:02:25,662 --> 00:02:28,142 Speaker 1: hot tips and the stuff that we share with our friends. 42 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:32,302 Speaker 1: But first, Stacy, you're the deputy editor of Mama Maya. 43 00:02:32,422 --> 00:02:35,142 Speaker 1: You're the big dog. What's been going off online this week? 44 00:02:35,302 --> 00:02:37,901 Speaker 4: Yes, second big dog technically, but I'll take big dog 45 00:02:37,942 --> 00:02:40,822 Speaker 4: as my title. But a story that really popped off 46 00:02:40,822 --> 00:02:43,462 Speaker 4: this week will make you feel very vindicated. If, like me, 47 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:46,862 Speaker 4: despite it officially being spring, you've already achieved the daycare 48 00:02:46,902 --> 00:02:50,501 Speaker 4: Bingo card of sicknesses. If you have been completely flattened, 49 00:02:50,542 --> 00:02:52,902 Speaker 4: you are not alone. This story was titled You're not 50 00:02:52,942 --> 00:02:55,901 Speaker 4: imagining it. There's a reason everyone is sicker. I think 51 00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,502 Speaker 4: this resonated so much with people because we all know 52 00:02:58,582 --> 00:03:02,102 Speaker 4: there's nothing quite like the hell of being sick when 53 00:03:02,342 --> 00:03:04,542 Speaker 4: someone else in your house is also sick at the 54 00:03:04,582 --> 00:03:06,822 Speaker 4: same time, especially if they're a person you have to 55 00:03:06,862 --> 00:03:09,262 Speaker 4: care for. So I think that's why this hit the 56 00:03:09,302 --> 00:03:11,702 Speaker 4: way did. But while it's obviously hard to do the 57 00:03:11,702 --> 00:03:15,382 Speaker 4: sums on every single sickness, Zoe Rutchford spoke to doctor 58 00:03:15,422 --> 00:03:18,061 Speaker 4: Melanie Conroy about the figures that show that there's already 59 00:03:18,062 --> 00:03:21,182 Speaker 4: been two hundred and thirty thousand reported cases of the 60 00:03:21,222 --> 00:03:23,902 Speaker 4: flu this year. That's just the ones where they're reported, 61 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:26,542 Speaker 4: not the heroes that soldier on without it. That is 62 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,382 Speaker 4: the same number as what we had for the entire 63 00:03:28,462 --> 00:03:29,621 Speaker 4: year in twenty twenty two. 64 00:03:30,142 --> 00:03:30,621 Speaker 3: Wow. 65 00:03:30,662 --> 00:03:34,182 Speaker 4: So it's it's hitting people hard. And she cited a 66 00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:38,582 Speaker 4: few possible reasons for the incline. So they include vaccination fatigue, 67 00:03:38,622 --> 00:03:40,942 Speaker 4: saying that maybe you know, that's contributed to the fact 68 00:03:40,942 --> 00:03:43,462 Speaker 4: that half of Australians haven't gotten their COVID booster and 69 00:03:43,502 --> 00:03:46,622 Speaker 4: haven't done their flu shot this year, or it's out 70 00:03:46,622 --> 00:03:49,702 Speaker 4: of pocket costs. And it's also another potential reason is 71 00:03:49,742 --> 00:03:52,342 Speaker 4: there is a lot more full return to the office now, 72 00:03:52,422 --> 00:03:54,542 Speaker 4: so a lot of us are you know, sweaty on 73 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,462 Speaker 4: the bus or on the train and. 74 00:03:56,422 --> 00:03:58,422 Speaker 3: Sharing the dresses around. Yes. 75 00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:02,462 Speaker 2: No, this is really interesting because a it's true. I 76 00:04:02,582 --> 00:04:04,822 Speaker 2: just feel like I've been living in sickness for many 77 00:04:04,862 --> 00:04:08,062 Speaker 2: months now. I came across an article on the Examine newsletter, 78 00:04:08,102 --> 00:04:10,182 Speaker 2: which is a science newsletter put up by The Herald 79 00:04:10,182 --> 00:04:13,142 Speaker 2: and the Age, and it looked at how even though 80 00:04:13,182 --> 00:04:16,902 Speaker 2: the federal government recommends the flu shot for kids under 81 00:04:16,942 --> 00:04:20,062 Speaker 2: five and it makes it free, the message about the 82 00:04:20,101 --> 00:04:23,342 Speaker 2: importance of getting that flu vaccine is just not getting 83 00:04:23,421 --> 00:04:25,941 Speaker 2: through to parents. And it looked at some reasons why 84 00:04:25,981 --> 00:04:29,462 Speaker 2: that might be. Basically, they did cite that sense of 85 00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:33,621 Speaker 2: parents being concerned about viral load, like getting too many vaccinations, 86 00:04:34,142 --> 00:04:36,342 Speaker 2: and experts say, this is not a thing, do not 87 00:04:36,381 --> 00:04:37,142 Speaker 2: worry about that. 88 00:04:37,702 --> 00:04:39,222 Speaker 3: And then they also thought that. 89 00:04:39,222 --> 00:04:42,902 Speaker 2: Maybe it was a post pandemic effect, whereby during COVID 90 00:04:43,022 --> 00:04:45,861 Speaker 2: parents wanted to do anything they could to protect their children, 91 00:04:45,941 --> 00:04:49,822 Speaker 2: and before the COVID vaccine, that was essentially the flu vaccine. 92 00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:52,861 Speaker 2: But now we've all kind of forgotten about flu when 93 00:04:52,861 --> 00:04:55,582 Speaker 2: we really shouldn't be. I don't mean to alarm anyone, 94 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:58,462 Speaker 2: but a startling fact from this newsletter is that the 95 00:04:58,462 --> 00:05:01,981 Speaker 2: hospitalization rate for kids under five of the flu actually 96 00:05:02,022 --> 00:05:05,702 Speaker 2: exceeds that of sixty five plus adults. It's a dangerous 97 00:05:05,981 --> 00:05:08,822 Speaker 2: illness and we are just not taking the steps that 98 00:05:08,861 --> 00:05:09,342 Speaker 2: we need to. 99 00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:12,981 Speaker 1: Okay, so confession, I did not have a flu jub 100 00:05:13,061 --> 00:05:15,222 Speaker 1: this year, and I'll tell you why. It's because I 101 00:05:15,301 --> 00:05:18,181 Speaker 1: quit my job. So when you work in a place, 102 00:05:18,342 --> 00:05:20,741 Speaker 1: they often run a flu JAB program, right, which makes 103 00:05:20,782 --> 00:05:23,061 Speaker 1: it really easy. Because I think there's two barriers to 104 00:05:23,101 --> 00:05:26,421 Speaker 1: getting the flu JAB that immediately spring to mind. First 105 00:05:26,501 --> 00:05:28,261 Speaker 1: is cost and second is access. 106 00:05:28,381 --> 00:05:28,581 Speaker 3: Right. 107 00:05:29,061 --> 00:05:31,462 Speaker 1: And so when you're in a workplace. Often they take 108 00:05:31,501 --> 00:05:33,541 Speaker 1: those two things out of the equation. They make it free, 109 00:05:33,621 --> 00:05:35,141 Speaker 1: and they bring someone in to do it for you, 110 00:05:35,222 --> 00:05:37,061 Speaker 1: so you do it while you're at work. So the 111 00:05:37,142 --> 00:05:39,782 Speaker 1: question I've got is, why don't they run flu jobs 112 00:05:39,782 --> 00:05:43,581 Speaker 1: at schools? Like there is a national immunization program that 113 00:05:43,782 --> 00:05:46,541 Speaker 1: rolls out some vaccinations, but why don't they just add 114 00:05:46,582 --> 00:05:47,101 Speaker 1: flu to that? 115 00:05:47,342 --> 00:05:50,462 Speaker 2: I wonder if that would be actually quite controversial because 116 00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:55,981 Speaker 2: another interesting stat is that the nationwide percentage of children 117 00:05:56,061 --> 00:05:59,421 Speaker 2: who get all vaccines on average is ninety percent, but 118 00:05:59,541 --> 00:06:02,421 Speaker 2: less than fifty percent of children get the flu vaccine. 119 00:06:02,421 --> 00:06:05,022 Speaker 2: There's something about the flu vaccine where I think parents 120 00:06:05,022 --> 00:06:07,941 Speaker 2: are thinking that it's like optional or that it's not important, 121 00:06:07,981 --> 00:06:10,261 Speaker 2: and that's leading to this decline rates. 122 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:15,501 Speaker 1: Mellly, you mentioned that like the messaging isn't ubiquitous around 123 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,981 Speaker 1: flu season, do public health need to spend more money 124 00:06:19,061 --> 00:06:22,421 Speaker 1: on social media marketing to get the messages into our feeds? Like? 125 00:06:22,462 --> 00:06:24,261 Speaker 1: I feel like that is how we are all consuming 126 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,821 Speaker 1: news and information now does it just need to be 127 00:06:26,902 --> 00:06:30,942 Speaker 1: more like spend less on ads, spend more in social media? 128 00:06:31,022 --> 00:06:34,101 Speaker 2: Well, and I also think that specifically what the campaign 129 00:06:34,222 --> 00:06:37,662 Speaker 2: should say is this fact that for children under five, 130 00:06:38,142 --> 00:06:42,142 Speaker 2: This is resulting in more hospitalizations than for older adults, 131 00:06:42,181 --> 00:06:44,782 Speaker 2: because I think we all have this hangover feeling of 132 00:06:44,861 --> 00:06:47,422 Speaker 2: like it's something that affects older adults and we're kind 133 00:06:47,421 --> 00:06:49,902 Speaker 2: of getting it as an act of benevolence for the oldies. 134 00:06:49,981 --> 00:06:51,061 Speaker 3: But that's not the case. 135 00:06:51,582 --> 00:06:53,942 Speaker 1: Cool, So what else we're parents clicking on this week's stacy. 136 00:06:54,101 --> 00:06:57,822 Speaker 4: Another story that went gangbusters was called are you ready 137 00:06:57,821 --> 00:06:58,101 Speaker 4: for It? 138 00:06:58,342 --> 00:06:58,621 Speaker 1: Mum? 139 00:06:58,741 --> 00:07:02,741 Speaker 4: That means ejaculate. The emojis aren't as innocent as they look, 140 00:07:03,061 --> 00:07:07,101 Speaker 4: and it was basically a glossary we published essentially decoding 141 00:07:07,142 --> 00:07:09,222 Speaker 4: what all the emojis mean so that you can figure 142 00:07:09,222 --> 00:07:12,302 Speaker 4: out what ones you're using wrong for your genel for children, 143 00:07:12,662 --> 00:07:14,182 Speaker 4: and if you want to snoop in their phone, you'll 144 00:07:14,222 --> 00:07:16,062 Speaker 4: be able to code what they're saying to one another 145 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,622 Speaker 4: if you're so inclined. So generally we know the ones 146 00:07:19,702 --> 00:07:22,781 Speaker 4: like the eggplant meaning dick dick. 147 00:07:23,022 --> 00:07:24,862 Speaker 3: I was gonna go with Willie for some. 148 00:07:24,742 --> 00:07:28,461 Speaker 1: Reasons to use silly names. 149 00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:32,222 Speaker 4: Yes, so the eggplant is penis. There are so many more, 150 00:07:32,422 --> 00:07:34,742 Speaker 4: so Mon's and Emilia. I'm gonna do a little quiz 151 00:07:34,782 --> 00:07:36,422 Speaker 4: with you to see if you're down with the kids 152 00:07:36,742 --> 00:07:39,942 Speaker 4: and see if you're using these correctly. Okay, first one, 153 00:07:40,302 --> 00:07:42,382 Speaker 4: what do you think the red heart means love? 154 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:43,062 Speaker 1: Yeah? 155 00:07:43,222 --> 00:07:46,342 Speaker 3: Love, yeah, truck question, the red heart is love. You're safe. Okay, 156 00:07:46,381 --> 00:07:47,462 Speaker 3: you can use your red heart. 157 00:07:47,662 --> 00:07:49,542 Speaker 2: So you haven't recovered from the fact that you're not 158 00:07:49,582 --> 00:07:52,542 Speaker 2: meant to use the laughing crying one, because apparently that 159 00:07:52,662 --> 00:07:54,662 Speaker 2: pgs me as an elder millennials, we're. 160 00:07:54,502 --> 00:07:56,942 Speaker 3: So uncall using that. It's fine. We're meant to use the. 161 00:07:56,941 --> 00:08:02,102 Speaker 4: Skull anyway, Yeah, meant to say you're like dying laughing. 162 00:08:02,302 --> 00:08:05,022 Speaker 4: We're meant to use the skull anyway. Let's stick without 163 00:08:05,022 --> 00:08:05,622 Speaker 4: crying laughing. 164 00:08:05,662 --> 00:08:06,342 Speaker 3: It's fine. 165 00:08:06,622 --> 00:08:08,821 Speaker 4: But the next one, this shocks me because this is 166 00:08:08,862 --> 00:08:11,862 Speaker 4: my default emoji. This is my top used emoji. So 167 00:08:11,902 --> 00:08:16,422 Speaker 4: I am sending a very confused message. The purple heart friendship. 168 00:08:16,941 --> 00:08:19,222 Speaker 3: Oh god, is this the ejaculate one? 169 00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:25,622 Speaker 4: No, but close it means you're aroused, Oh, arousal that's 170 00:08:25,662 --> 00:08:28,622 Speaker 4: the purple heart, and I've been sending that to all 171 00:08:28,622 --> 00:08:29,662 Speaker 4: my coworkers. 172 00:08:29,662 --> 00:08:33,742 Speaker 2: Actually, it actually means the word beginning with H, doesn't it. 173 00:08:34,062 --> 00:08:36,302 Speaker 3: Yeah, horny horny purple heart. 174 00:08:39,222 --> 00:08:42,182 Speaker 4: Okay, now the corn cob, like, what could that possibly 175 00:08:42,262 --> 00:08:43,542 Speaker 4: mean so innocent. 176 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:47,462 Speaker 1: It means cringe. It so corny, so cringe. 177 00:08:47,622 --> 00:08:50,022 Speaker 4: No, well, it's code for porn. So they use this 178 00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,862 Speaker 4: a lot on TikTok as code for porn because it 179 00:08:52,942 --> 00:08:58,942 Speaker 4: rhymes with corn. Okay, very simple. Now, this one genuinely 180 00:08:58,982 --> 00:09:02,982 Speaker 4: shocked a lot of us. The little brain emoji thinking emoji, 181 00:09:03,022 --> 00:09:03,862 Speaker 4: the little brain. 182 00:09:04,142 --> 00:09:07,142 Speaker 1: Nerd like, what a nerd? Oh my god, such a nerd? 183 00:09:07,742 --> 00:09:11,261 Speaker 4: Sixty nine amelings clothes? 184 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:13,102 Speaker 3: Really it is code for head. 185 00:09:13,582 --> 00:09:17,102 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm so sorry. 186 00:09:17,262 --> 00:09:20,542 Speaker 2: We never talked about such things when I was a child. 187 00:09:21,062 --> 00:09:23,462 Speaker 4: I know, we were just such innocent little beings. And 188 00:09:23,502 --> 00:09:26,582 Speaker 4: the last one I had was the bolonnaise the spaghetti 189 00:09:26,662 --> 00:09:27,702 Speaker 4: noodles with the fork. 190 00:09:28,222 --> 00:09:29,622 Speaker 1: I'm hungry for. 191 00:09:29,742 --> 00:09:31,862 Speaker 3: Mind boggles, some to pray sex. 192 00:09:32,142 --> 00:09:37,742 Speaker 4: I know, nudes, send nudes. Noodles noodles send nudes. So 193 00:09:37,782 --> 00:09:38,742 Speaker 4: there you go your education. 194 00:09:38,862 --> 00:09:41,022 Speaker 2: So have you actually managed to get yourself out of 195 00:09:41,022 --> 00:09:42,742 Speaker 2: the habit of using the purple hard at work? 196 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,382 Speaker 3: Because I'm embarrassed for you. 197 00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:46,262 Speaker 4: No, I'm still sending it, but I just avoid sending 198 00:09:46,302 --> 00:09:48,662 Speaker 4: it to the genss because that feels more risky. 199 00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:50,702 Speaker 3: So ejaculate. 200 00:09:50,702 --> 00:09:53,662 Speaker 1: We need to get the water the splashy war whes. 201 00:09:53,622 --> 00:09:55,382 Speaker 3: Mon's ding Ding Ding. That's right. 202 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:58,462 Speaker 4: It's the splashy water yeap that is ejaculate. So now 203 00:09:58,462 --> 00:10:00,462 Speaker 4: you know what to avoid. The rest of the list 204 00:10:00,502 --> 00:10:01,502 Speaker 4: will be in the show notes. 205 00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:04,582 Speaker 1: Okay, into the main stuff for this week. So the 206 00:10:04,622 --> 00:10:07,382 Speaker 1: first topic we want to kind of hook into an 207 00:10:07,462 --> 00:10:10,822 Speaker 1: unpack is about Father's Day. Now, Father's Day is Sunday, 208 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,422 Speaker 1: and the marketing for it is in full swing. My 209 00:10:13,502 --> 00:10:17,182 Speaker 1: letterbox is full of Bunning's catalogs, Syraco Sheds, and like 210 00:10:17,262 --> 00:10:20,462 Speaker 1: Dan Murphy's catalogs. But I got an email this week 211 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:24,262 Speaker 1: from a major brand asking something that I've never seen before. 212 00:10:24,622 --> 00:10:27,862 Speaker 1: It asked if I wanted to opt out of Father's 213 00:10:27,942 --> 00:10:32,902 Speaker 1: Day marketing. And the email said, we understand that Father's 214 00:10:32,982 --> 00:10:36,302 Speaker 1: Day is a sensitive time for many. If you'd prefer 215 00:10:36,462 --> 00:10:39,382 Speaker 1: not to receive any Father's Day related emails, you can 216 00:10:39,422 --> 00:10:41,822 Speaker 1: opt out by clicking the button below. And it got 217 00:10:41,822 --> 00:10:44,182 Speaker 1: me thinking because I think in the last maybe six 218 00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:48,182 Speaker 1: or seven years, we've seen this cultural shift around Mother's Day, 219 00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:50,782 Speaker 1: Like whereas a decade ago it was kind of wall 220 00:10:50,782 --> 00:10:54,862 Speaker 1: to wall like World's Best Mom sort of marketing, whereas 221 00:10:54,942 --> 00:10:59,182 Speaker 1: now it's understood that not everyone's experience of motherhood and 222 00:10:59,182 --> 00:11:02,102 Speaker 1: not everyone's relationship with their mom is like a Hallmark card. 223 00:11:02,182 --> 00:11:04,822 Speaker 1: There is sort of grief and estrangement, and it can 224 00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:08,742 Speaker 1: be complicated, So brands and people are a little bit 225 00:11:08,742 --> 00:11:11,902 Speaker 1: more delicate now around how they talk about Mother's Day. 226 00:11:12,222 --> 00:11:14,902 Speaker 1: But this is the first time I've seen this same 227 00:11:14,982 --> 00:11:17,502 Speaker 1: treatment applied to Father's Day, So I wanted to check 228 00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:19,982 Speaker 1: in with you guys. Where are we at with Father's 229 00:11:20,062 --> 00:11:20,622 Speaker 1: Day this year? 230 00:11:20,702 --> 00:11:21,062 Speaker 3: Stacy? 231 00:11:21,102 --> 00:11:21,942 Speaker 1: What do you think it all mean? 232 00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:23,502 Speaker 3: I think it's interesting. 233 00:11:23,542 --> 00:11:26,262 Speaker 4: I definitely think it is a step towards recognizing the 234 00:11:26,302 --> 00:11:29,582 Speaker 4: sensitivities around it for some people. On the more serious 235 00:11:29,582 --> 00:11:32,462 Speaker 4: side of it, because I think we never really consider 236 00:11:32,502 --> 00:11:34,742 Speaker 4: the fathers or the men out there who might be 237 00:11:34,782 --> 00:11:37,182 Speaker 4: receiving these emails and are desperate to become a dad, 238 00:11:37,182 --> 00:11:40,582 Speaker 4: but are also struggling with infertility or their partner having 239 00:11:40,662 --> 00:11:43,102 Speaker 4: pregnancy loss. So I think on that side of things, 240 00:11:43,142 --> 00:11:46,302 Speaker 4: it's really lovely that there is that sensitivity there for 241 00:11:46,342 --> 00:11:49,381 Speaker 4: people who maybe don't have the best relationship or are 242 00:11:49,422 --> 00:11:51,702 Speaker 4: longing to be fathers and aren't at this point in 243 00:11:51,742 --> 00:11:54,942 Speaker 4: their lives. But on the more cynical side of this, 244 00:11:55,462 --> 00:11:57,822 Speaker 4: I just think people might use this opt out situation 245 00:11:57,902 --> 00:11:59,702 Speaker 4: to get rid of the emails because they never buy 246 00:11:59,742 --> 00:12:02,462 Speaker 4: their dad are present. Like every year, my dad tells 247 00:12:02,462 --> 00:12:04,942 Speaker 4: me he doesn't want a present. Every year, I believe him. 248 00:12:05,262 --> 00:12:07,062 Speaker 4: I just take him for a drink, which he usually 249 00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:10,222 Speaker 4: ends up paying for. And that's that Father's Day is 250 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:12,342 Speaker 4: just not thought about as much as Mother's Day. 251 00:12:12,662 --> 00:12:14,822 Speaker 2: And I'm going to get even more cynical on you, 252 00:12:15,382 --> 00:12:17,902 Speaker 2: and I want to step back and ask you both 253 00:12:18,022 --> 00:12:21,862 Speaker 2: how you feel about those emails for Mother's Day or 254 00:12:21,902 --> 00:12:24,222 Speaker 2: Father's Day, the ones that say, you know, let us 255 00:12:24,262 --> 00:12:26,382 Speaker 2: know if you have a complicated relationship with your mother, 256 00:12:26,462 --> 00:12:29,342 Speaker 2: Because why am I telling the brand that it's sort 257 00:12:29,342 --> 00:12:32,542 Speaker 2: of the brand pretending to be sensitive and concerned about 258 00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:35,902 Speaker 2: my feelings, but they're also harvesting my data. Why am 259 00:12:35,902 --> 00:12:39,022 Speaker 2: I telling them about my complicated family dynamics? Probably so 260 00:12:39,102 --> 00:12:40,902 Speaker 2: that they can sell me more stuff? Or am I 261 00:12:40,942 --> 00:12:42,902 Speaker 2: being cynical? Do we think that these are helpful? 262 00:12:43,182 --> 00:12:46,502 Speaker 1: No, that was my second thought. My first thought was oh, 263 00:12:46,502 --> 00:12:48,742 Speaker 1: how interesting. My second thought was, oh, this is another 264 00:12:48,862 --> 00:12:51,942 Speaker 1: data point for you to fill your algorithm. And also 265 00:12:52,582 --> 00:12:56,022 Speaker 1: it also feels like savvy marketing dressed up as empathy. 266 00:12:56,182 --> 00:12:58,662 Speaker 1: So I do see that I'm also interested in why 267 00:12:58,702 --> 00:13:02,062 Speaker 1: there was a lag for this to hit the dad's content, 268 00:13:02,222 --> 00:13:05,222 Speaker 1: and I wonder if it's because My theory is like 269 00:13:05,342 --> 00:13:08,742 Speaker 1: dads seem to carry like less emotional weight in the culture. 270 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,622 Speaker 1: Like you think about the way dads are depicted in 271 00:13:10,662 --> 00:13:13,902 Speaker 1: pop culture and it's like feel done fee from modern 272 00:13:13,982 --> 00:13:17,902 Speaker 1: family or like Daddy Pig, just like well meaning but 273 00:13:18,102 --> 00:13:22,382 Speaker 1: quite bumbling dads. So I think fatherhood feels less emotionally 274 00:13:22,422 --> 00:13:25,062 Speaker 1: loaded like in the public's imagination. So I think there's 275 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:29,302 Speaker 1: been less pressure on brands to handle Father's Day carefully 276 00:13:29,982 --> 00:13:32,381 Speaker 1: until now. I think this is a kind of an 277 00:13:32,422 --> 00:13:35,182 Speaker 1: interesting shift here. It's like, are we finally starting to 278 00:13:35,222 --> 00:13:38,542 Speaker 1: see dads differently? And if that's the case, like Father's 279 00:13:38,582 --> 00:13:40,782 Speaker 1: Day might start to look really different in future. So 280 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:43,422 Speaker 1: I hear your cynicism. I don't disagree with it. I 281 00:13:43,462 --> 00:13:45,902 Speaker 1: think you're right about that. I'm just holding out hope 282 00:13:45,902 --> 00:13:47,782 Speaker 1: that the dial is kind of shifting here. 283 00:13:47,982 --> 00:13:50,862 Speaker 2: No, that's really interesting, Mon's I hadn't thought about that, 284 00:13:50,942 --> 00:13:54,102 Speaker 2: but now that you mentioned, say, Daddy Pig from pepper Pig, 285 00:13:54,182 --> 00:13:57,222 Speaker 2: there's this iconic song from pepper Pig where they sing, 286 00:13:57,382 --> 00:13:59,902 Speaker 2: He's a bit of an expert about daddy pig, and 287 00:13:59,942 --> 00:14:02,622 Speaker 2: the idea is that he pretends that he's an expert 288 00:14:02,622 --> 00:14:05,582 Speaker 2: in all sorts of things, but actually he's pretty useless 289 00:14:05,622 --> 00:14:08,382 Speaker 2: at most things. And that really is a sort of 290 00:14:08,382 --> 00:14:12,342 Speaker 2: trope that we have around dads. There's another trope that 291 00:14:12,382 --> 00:14:14,381 Speaker 2: I think this is kind of reversing too, and it 292 00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:17,382 Speaker 2: relates to what you said, Stacy, for people who long 293 00:14:17,502 --> 00:14:21,222 Speaker 2: to be dads. Yeah, I'm wondering how big that group is. 294 00:14:21,462 --> 00:14:24,942 Speaker 2: I don't want to stereotype, but certainly the pressures that 295 00:14:25,142 --> 00:14:28,262 Speaker 2: are on women to pro create are so much more 296 00:14:28,262 --> 00:14:32,382 Speaker 2: intense and explicit. But are we now getting to the 297 00:14:32,422 --> 00:14:36,422 Speaker 2: point where men too are getting these pressures that they 298 00:14:36,462 --> 00:14:40,022 Speaker 2: need to sort of perform adulthood and have babies. 299 00:14:40,502 --> 00:14:44,542 Speaker 4: Yeah, it just feels like maybe we're putting that onto 300 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,702 Speaker 4: people a little bit like that, it's getting to that 301 00:14:46,742 --> 00:14:49,622 Speaker 4: extreme point where we're being sensitive about every possible thing, 302 00:14:49,702 --> 00:14:52,302 Speaker 4: when really you can choose to turn away from that 303 00:14:52,382 --> 00:14:52,902 Speaker 4: if you want. 304 00:14:52,982 --> 00:14:53,542 Speaker 3: So, does it. 305 00:14:53,622 --> 00:14:56,502 Speaker 4: Work for you like Mom's, doesn't make you think more 306 00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:58,982 Speaker 4: of a brand that they're doing this, or does it 307 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,902 Speaker 4: make you think they are being a bit manipulative? 308 00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:05,062 Speaker 1: No, I'm cynical about it. But I do think that sometimes, 309 00:15:05,342 --> 00:15:08,822 Speaker 1: like brands respond to cultural touch points, brands respond to 310 00:15:08,862 --> 00:15:12,142 Speaker 1: the cultural ten and so I think it's an interesting signifier. 311 00:15:14,022 --> 00:15:16,462 Speaker 4: Now here's something which I've been hanging to talk about 312 00:15:16,462 --> 00:15:21,182 Speaker 4: this week. Hamma, barn, dollar bucks, wackadoo. If you recognize 313 00:15:21,182 --> 00:15:24,742 Speaker 4: those sounds I just made as actual words, then congratulations. 314 00:15:24,982 --> 00:15:26,582 Speaker 4: You are one of the millions of people who is 315 00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:31,622 Speaker 4: watching what is considered Australia's most successful show ever, Bluey. So, 316 00:15:31,742 --> 00:15:34,942 Speaker 4: the animated series by Joe Brahm about the Healer dog family, 317 00:15:35,062 --> 00:15:38,862 Speaker 4: is now in sixty countries and was viewed for fifty 318 00:15:38,902 --> 00:15:39,982 Speaker 4: five point six. 319 00:15:39,862 --> 00:15:41,422 Speaker 3: Billion minutes last year. 320 00:15:41,502 --> 00:15:44,542 Speaker 4: Most of those came from my household alone, and if 321 00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:46,062 Speaker 4: you're like me, you still can't get through a few 322 00:15:46,062 --> 00:15:51,222 Speaker 4: of the episodes Baby Race, Granddad Camping without crying. Such 323 00:15:51,302 --> 00:15:54,382 Speaker 4: is the power of these animated dogs. As far as 324 00:15:54,462 --> 00:15:57,062 Speaker 4: it goes with screen time, it's widely considered to be 325 00:15:57,102 --> 00:15:59,622 Speaker 4: one of the better shows for our kids. So a 326 00:15:59,662 --> 00:16:03,102 Speaker 4: new article from the Conversation talked about how researchers watched 327 00:16:03,102 --> 00:16:05,542 Speaker 4: one hundred and fifty episodes of Bluey, which I feel 328 00:16:05,542 --> 00:16:09,182 Speaker 4: like is every episode of Bluey surely, and they found 329 00:16:09,222 --> 00:16:11,942 Speaker 4: that she Blue being a girl. Just in case you 330 00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:14,622 Speaker 4: weren't clear, I know mea Friedman only found out about 331 00:16:14,622 --> 00:16:18,342 Speaker 4: a month ago that Blue is teaching kids' resilience in 332 00:16:18,382 --> 00:16:21,342 Speaker 4: the face of life's ups and downs. Apparently it's the 333 00:16:21,342 --> 00:16:24,742 Speaker 4: first time the show's been systematically examined like this to 334 00:16:24,782 --> 00:16:28,182 Speaker 4: see how it's teaching resilient behavior, and nearly half of 335 00:16:28,222 --> 00:16:33,622 Speaker 4: the episodes have that as the primary or the secondary theme. So, Amelia, 336 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,622 Speaker 4: are you as in love with Blue as I am? 337 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,022 Speaker 3: I love that you brought this up. 338 00:16:38,102 --> 00:16:40,942 Speaker 2: I have really complicated feelings that I'm looking forward to 339 00:16:41,022 --> 00:16:43,422 Speaker 2: unpacking with you both. I should say that when I 340 00:16:43,542 --> 00:16:46,382 Speaker 2: moved back to Australia from the United States last year, 341 00:16:47,342 --> 00:16:51,022 Speaker 2: the only thing anyone said to me about the move was, 342 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:54,462 Speaker 2: is it going to be like bluey there? I cannot 343 00:16:54,582 --> 00:17:00,422 Speaker 2: overstate the way that Bluuie has shaped international perceptions of 344 00:17:00,462 --> 00:17:03,662 Speaker 2: Australia and of the life of children in Australia. They 345 00:17:03,702 --> 00:17:06,342 Speaker 2: think that it's like Bluie, and look, I was kind 346 00:17:06,341 --> 00:17:08,742 Speaker 2: of curious about whether it would be like Blue as well. 347 00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:10,221 Speaker 3: And to some extent it really is. 348 00:17:10,302 --> 00:17:13,381 Speaker 2: I think it captures something that's still very present in 349 00:17:13,422 --> 00:17:17,662 Speaker 2: an Australian childhood that is gone from at least American childhoods, 350 00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:21,501 Speaker 2: which is it feels more carefree, it feels more safe, 351 00:17:22,101 --> 00:17:25,302 Speaker 2: it feels more harmonious. So I'd say that it's a 352 00:17:25,341 --> 00:17:28,061 Speaker 2: really nice depiction of Australian childhood. 353 00:17:28,141 --> 00:17:31,581 Speaker 1: Oh you know what, you two, This show does not 354 00:17:31,742 --> 00:17:35,021 Speaker 1: need any more fans. I can hear you both. Joe 355 00:17:35,101 --> 00:17:38,901 Speaker 1: loving it, sick. We know it's the best show on TV. 356 00:17:39,702 --> 00:17:44,621 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. Joe Brahm's a genius. It's gorgeous. What's 357 00:17:44,861 --> 00:17:50,982 Speaker 1: interesting is the unpopular opinion, the undercurrent of I can't 358 00:17:51,022 --> 00:17:54,141 Speaker 1: watch this. It's making me feel like a shit parent. 359 00:17:54,222 --> 00:17:56,741 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm glad that you brought that up, because this 360 00:17:56,861 --> 00:17:58,941 Speaker 2: is where the complicated feelings come in. I got a 361 00:17:59,022 --> 00:18:01,822 Speaker 2: text from a friend the other day. She has three children. 362 00:18:01,901 --> 00:18:05,102 Speaker 2: I think of her as an amazing parent. For the record, 363 00:18:05,901 --> 00:18:08,101 Speaker 2: she wrote me a text pretty much out of the blue. 364 00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:11,101 Speaker 2: She said, I'm the bearer of some reassurance about parenting. 365 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:15,022 Speaker 2: I was noodling around and found some conversation about how 366 00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,621 Speaker 2: parents who watch Bluey with their kids are talking to 367 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,581 Speaker 2: each other and their shrinks about how the show makes 368 00:18:20,581 --> 00:18:25,101 Speaker 2: them feel like detached, inattentive parents who do not play enough. 369 00:18:24,861 --> 00:18:27,101 Speaker 3: With their kids. And I thought, well, if she's feeling 370 00:18:27,182 --> 00:18:27,462 Speaker 3: like that. 371 00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:30,022 Speaker 2: To be honest, I'm feeling a bit like that too. 372 00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:32,861 Speaker 1: Yeah. It feels unpopular to say it, but there is 373 00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:36,462 Speaker 1: this big swell, this groundswell of parents talking to their 374 00:18:36,462 --> 00:18:39,821 Speaker 1: therapist saying this show makes me feel so shit, and 375 00:18:39,861 --> 00:18:42,262 Speaker 1: I think that's really interesting to unpack. I saw a 376 00:18:42,302 --> 00:18:46,462 Speaker 1: great article on substack. Jess Commons wrote it. She's a journalist, 377 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,621 Speaker 1: she's got a substack called mother loading, and she wrote 378 00:18:49,621 --> 00:18:52,421 Speaker 1: about it as well earlier this year and said, how 379 00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:57,341 Speaker 1: dare these cartoon dogs with seemingly no financial troubles and 380 00:18:57,621 --> 00:19:00,621 Speaker 1: endless amounts of time show me up? There is no 381 00:19:00,861 --> 00:19:05,181 Speaker 1: way I can be as engaged, as invested, as imaginative 382 00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:08,222 Speaker 1: as them, and it makes me feel shitty. And there's 383 00:19:08,341 --> 00:19:10,542 Speaker 1: also there was this while us piece in The New 384 00:19:10,621 --> 00:19:16,421 Speaker 1: Yorker by Ellis Rosen called Blue's Dad thinks He's so great, 385 00:19:17,262 --> 00:19:20,502 Speaker 1: and it starts like this, it goes, well, there is again, 386 00:19:20,861 --> 00:19:24,741 Speaker 1: mister perfect dad, the best father ever to grace the 387 00:19:24,821 --> 00:19:28,701 Speaker 1: television screen. That's what everyone says anyway, including my wife 388 00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:31,701 Speaker 1: and children, which doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I 389 00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:35,142 Speaker 1: definitely didn't mind when my daughter asked me to pretend 390 00:19:35,182 --> 00:19:38,141 Speaker 1: to be Bluey's dad, even though she wasn't pretending to 391 00:19:38,182 --> 00:19:42,341 Speaker 1: be blue Like, the struggle is real. There are parents 392 00:19:42,462 --> 00:19:46,821 Speaker 1: out there who feel kind of insecure. This show brings 393 00:19:46,901 --> 00:19:49,581 Speaker 1: up a lot of feelings of like guilt and rejection 394 00:19:49,782 --> 00:19:52,662 Speaker 1: and fear and maybe defense. And I think that this 395 00:19:52,782 --> 00:19:57,421 Speaker 1: show very quietly exposes the gap between the parent that 396 00:19:58,141 --> 00:20:01,141 Speaker 1: we are and the parent we wish we were, and 397 00:20:01,182 --> 00:20:02,222 Speaker 1: that's confronting. 398 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,581 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's call it the Bluey backlash. I've started seeing 399 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,941 Speaker 2: it everywhere since I got that text. I found an 400 00:20:08,022 --> 00:20:10,742 Speaker 2: article on Good Housekeeping said Bluie is fun to watch, 401 00:20:10,782 --> 00:20:13,302 Speaker 2: but it makes parents feel like crap. And I've got 402 00:20:13,341 --> 00:20:15,302 Speaker 2: an example of how it makes me feel like crap. 403 00:20:15,621 --> 00:20:18,382 Speaker 2: There's an episode called Stickbird, which I think about a lot, 404 00:20:18,422 --> 00:20:21,981 Speaker 2: and in that episode, Blue's dad Bandit is really upset 405 00:20:21,982 --> 00:20:24,502 Speaker 2: about something and yet he. 406 00:20:24,502 --> 00:20:26,941 Speaker 3: Still has to play with Blue. They're at the beach. 407 00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:31,342 Speaker 2: And what's very intriguing about this episode is that he 408 00:20:31,462 --> 00:20:34,342 Speaker 2: tells Bluie that he's a bit upset about something. And 409 00:20:34,381 --> 00:20:37,461 Speaker 2: in fact, mental health advocacy groups have praised this episode 410 00:20:37,742 --> 00:20:40,542 Speaker 2: for reminding men to talk about their emotions. So great, 411 00:20:40,661 --> 00:20:43,702 Speaker 2: let's make sure that Blue gets that recognition. But what's 412 00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:46,661 Speaker 2: interesting is that he manages to hold it in having 413 00:20:46,742 --> 00:20:50,341 Speaker 2: expressed that sadness, and he doesn't tell Bluie why he's sad. 414 00:20:51,101 --> 00:20:53,821 Speaker 2: And I think about that, because that's a really high 415 00:20:53,821 --> 00:20:56,621 Speaker 2: bar if you're really sad or upset about something and 416 00:20:56,661 --> 00:21:00,381 Speaker 2: your parenting to just merely say I'm upset about something, 417 00:21:00,381 --> 00:21:02,341 Speaker 2: it has nothing to do with you. Let's move on 418 00:21:02,422 --> 00:21:03,421 Speaker 2: and keep playing a game. 419 00:21:03,982 --> 00:21:05,022 Speaker 3: That's really hard to do. 420 00:21:05,141 --> 00:21:07,662 Speaker 2: I find myself wanting to share with my children why 421 00:21:07,742 --> 00:21:10,382 Speaker 2: I'm sad. And now maybe that's about that I shouldn't 422 00:21:10,381 --> 00:21:14,061 Speaker 2: be crossing. But every time I do experience, you know, 423 00:21:14,182 --> 00:21:17,341 Speaker 2: a difficult chapter, I think about Stickford and how band 424 00:21:17,422 --> 00:21:18,502 Speaker 2: It doesn't say. 425 00:21:18,341 --> 00:21:21,462 Speaker 3: Why he's sad, and it just feels like an impossible bar. 426 00:21:21,942 --> 00:21:24,621 Speaker 1: The whole show is an impossible bar, Amelia. The Whole Show, 427 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:29,302 Speaker 1: like Bandit and Chili, are endlessly patient and playful and 428 00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:35,101 Speaker 1: available and navigating like complex emotional issues. They're never hiding 429 00:21:35,141 --> 00:21:38,261 Speaker 1: in the pantry, scrolling their phone or like giving their 430 00:21:38,302 --> 00:21:42,742 Speaker 1: kids the finger behind their back. And even though it's fiction, 431 00:21:43,341 --> 00:21:47,581 Speaker 1: Like our brains are still comparing and what we see, yeah, 432 00:21:47,742 --> 00:21:50,181 Speaker 1: can make us uncomfortable with how we're doing things. And 433 00:21:50,262 --> 00:21:53,181 Speaker 1: I think the show, like you said, it models a 434 00:21:53,222 --> 00:21:55,941 Speaker 1: lot of amazing parenting, and so it has become in 435 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:59,381 Speaker 1: the zeitgeist, like the default for great parenting is to 436 00:21:59,422 --> 00:22:03,461 Speaker 1: be like Bluie's parents. You know, they model this very slow, 437 00:22:03,661 --> 00:22:08,341 Speaker 1: very responsive, very playful parenting. But for most of us 438 00:22:08,502 --> 00:22:12,901 Speaker 1: who are juggling work and fatigue and commutes and craziest schedules, 439 00:22:12,942 --> 00:22:15,621 Speaker 1: like we're tired and we're distracted, and it just feels 440 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:16,702 Speaker 1: quite unattainable. 441 00:22:16,942 --> 00:22:17,821 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. 442 00:22:17,942 --> 00:22:20,661 Speaker 4: And I think there are episodes where you see the 443 00:22:20,742 --> 00:22:22,742 Speaker 4: mum and the dad on their phone, but the second 444 00:22:22,782 --> 00:22:25,061 Speaker 4: the child enters the room, the phone gets put away. 445 00:22:25,222 --> 00:22:26,782 Speaker 4: And I don't know that all of us can say 446 00:22:26,782 --> 00:22:29,701 Speaker 4: that that happens immediately when it's us. One of the 447 00:22:29,702 --> 00:22:32,181 Speaker 4: positives because I love to make myself feel bad. So 448 00:22:32,381 --> 00:22:34,341 Speaker 4: now that you've said it, I'm definitely thinking about it 449 00:22:34,341 --> 00:22:36,341 Speaker 4: more and thinking about all the times I've gone, oh, yeah, 450 00:22:36,381 --> 00:22:39,941 Speaker 4: I probably should be doing that, just like Chilli Heeler is. 451 00:22:40,262 --> 00:22:42,461 Speaker 4: But I think one of the ways that it's helped 452 00:22:42,542 --> 00:22:45,701 Speaker 4: if you're not a parent that finds play naturally comes 453 00:22:45,702 --> 00:22:48,261 Speaker 4: to them when your kids are at that age. Imaginative 454 00:22:48,302 --> 00:22:51,662 Speaker 4: play I find especially embarrassing. Don't know why, but I've 455 00:22:51,702 --> 00:22:55,182 Speaker 4: found that Bluey is kind of a connector to some games, 456 00:22:55,222 --> 00:22:57,742 Speaker 4: all some activities that I can do with my daughter 457 00:22:58,141 --> 00:23:00,861 Speaker 4: that she recognizes from the show, that I recognize from 458 00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:03,141 Speaker 4: the show. And then it feels like it's a level 459 00:23:03,141 --> 00:23:05,982 Speaker 4: playing field, that we're doing what the Healer family did see. 460 00:23:06,022 --> 00:23:07,302 Speaker 3: There are some positives there. 461 00:23:07,581 --> 00:23:09,542 Speaker 2: It is useful anytime you have a balloon to play 462 00:23:09,661 --> 00:23:12,341 Speaker 2: keep you uppy. Let's face that I wanted to get though. 463 00:23:12,581 --> 00:23:15,941 Speaker 2: Why we think it's kind of like pushing our button. 464 00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:19,142 Speaker 2: I have a theory for why this is. I think 465 00:23:19,141 --> 00:23:23,022 Speaker 2: it's because it's depicting parents spending a lot of one 466 00:23:23,061 --> 00:23:24,981 Speaker 2: on one time with their children, giving them a lot 467 00:23:25,022 --> 00:23:27,422 Speaker 2: of attention, and we feel like we're not doing enough 468 00:23:27,462 --> 00:23:31,061 Speaker 2: of that. But I've got a really reassuring newsflash for you, 469 00:23:31,141 --> 00:23:33,662 Speaker 2: which is that we are actually spending so much more 470 00:23:33,661 --> 00:23:36,741 Speaker 2: time with our children than previous generations. I found an 471 00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:40,382 Speaker 2: Economist article from twenty seventeen, so pre pandemic, which said 472 00:23:40,422 --> 00:23:42,502 Speaker 2: that parents are now spending twice as much time with 473 00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:46,181 Speaker 2: their children than they did fifty years ago. So don't 474 00:23:46,222 --> 00:23:49,462 Speaker 2: feel bad. We're already spending so much more time with them. 475 00:23:49,502 --> 00:23:51,862 Speaker 2: And it turns out even men are too, So men 476 00:23:51,861 --> 00:23:54,542 Speaker 2: are still spending less time with their children than women are, 477 00:23:54,982 --> 00:23:57,821 Speaker 2: but the amount of time has jumped sixteen minutes a 478 00:23:57,901 --> 00:24:00,582 Speaker 2: day over the last decade to fifty nine minutes a day. 479 00:24:00,702 --> 00:24:03,182 Speaker 2: Fifty nine minutes. I feel like I'm probably spending around 480 00:24:03,182 --> 00:24:05,661 Speaker 2: fifty nine minutes a day with my children, and that's average, 481 00:24:06,182 --> 00:24:09,262 Speaker 2: and I loved that. One exception to this trend is France. 482 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,982 Speaker 2: In France, people are still sipping their wine and ignoring 483 00:24:12,982 --> 00:24:15,901 Speaker 2: their remarkably well behaved children. That's what the studies show, 484 00:24:16,821 --> 00:24:19,341 Speaker 2: So don't feel bad. Australians are spending plenty of time 485 00:24:19,341 --> 00:24:21,901 Speaker 2: with their children, and Bluis is accurately depicting that. 486 00:24:22,381 --> 00:24:24,222 Speaker 1: I feel like I've been too hard on Louis. I 487 00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:26,382 Speaker 1: do think it is the most beautiful show, the most 488 00:24:26,422 --> 00:24:28,462 Speaker 1: well made show on TV right now, and it deserves 489 00:24:28,502 --> 00:24:31,181 Speaker 1: all of its sissess and it should infiltrate France and 490 00:24:31,182 --> 00:24:36,181 Speaker 1: teach the French engaged playful parenting familiar If I am 491 00:24:36,222 --> 00:24:38,421 Speaker 1: a parent and I watch this and I feel the 492 00:24:38,462 --> 00:24:41,262 Speaker 1: defense mechanism coming up, and I start to feel the 493 00:24:41,302 --> 00:24:46,821 Speaker 1: feelings of in us guilty. What are therapists telling parents? 494 00:24:47,302 --> 00:24:49,542 Speaker 2: Yeah, so this friend who texted me saying that she 495 00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:54,422 Speaker 2: feels bad actually asked around and she asked an expert 496 00:24:54,422 --> 00:24:57,222 Speaker 2: who was a therapist, why she shouldn't feel bad about it. 497 00:24:57,422 --> 00:25:01,221 Speaker 2: And this therapist said, each episode shows eight minutes of 498 00:25:01,262 --> 00:25:05,182 Speaker 2: their day. Anyone can pareent enthusiastically for eight minutes a day. 499 00:25:05,581 --> 00:25:08,422 Speaker 2: For all we know, Bandit spends four hours each day 500 00:25:08,462 --> 00:25:10,862 Speaker 2: on the couch, watching the foot and drinking, and. 501 00:25:10,861 --> 00:25:13,381 Speaker 3: That does actually make me feel better. We can do 502 00:25:13,422 --> 00:25:14,942 Speaker 3: eight minutes. We can do eight minutes. 503 00:25:15,422 --> 00:25:18,262 Speaker 1: Bend needs to go to work, Guys, bend It actually 504 00:25:18,302 --> 00:25:20,021 Speaker 1: needs to go and do some work. Like, how are 505 00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:26,061 Speaker 1: they affording the three bedroom house in the cul de Sac? Stacy? Yes, Mons, 506 00:25:26,262 --> 00:25:27,662 Speaker 1: you know you're like, we're getting to know each other. 507 00:25:27,702 --> 00:25:29,902 Speaker 1: We don't really know each other that well. Yeah, I 508 00:25:29,982 --> 00:25:32,181 Speaker 1: deep dived on you. I googled your name and I 509 00:25:32,222 --> 00:25:35,181 Speaker 1: started reading your work. Turns out used to be the 510 00:25:35,302 --> 00:25:36,702 Speaker 1: editor of Girlfriend magazine. 511 00:25:36,821 --> 00:25:39,742 Speaker 3: Yes, that was my dream job. It was so great. 512 00:25:39,742 --> 00:25:42,341 Speaker 3: Apart from being here, of course, that's very cool. 513 00:25:42,742 --> 00:25:44,782 Speaker 1: But the other thing that worried me was I think 514 00:25:44,901 --> 00:25:46,701 Speaker 1: I've said some things to you that I wish I 515 00:25:46,742 --> 00:25:49,302 Speaker 1: could take back now, So I'm just confessing my sins 516 00:25:49,302 --> 00:25:49,502 Speaker 1: to you. 517 00:25:49,782 --> 00:25:50,462 Speaker 3: What did you do? 518 00:25:51,262 --> 00:25:53,302 Speaker 1: I described you as a mother of one and I 519 00:25:53,422 --> 00:25:55,982 Speaker 1: may have at some point in our conversations said to you, 520 00:25:56,462 --> 00:25:57,542 Speaker 1: are you one and done? 521 00:25:57,821 --> 00:26:01,501 Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm so glad you raise this mons because I 522 00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:03,862 Speaker 2: feel like I've made the same faux pa with Stacy. 523 00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:04,821 Speaker 3: I was allerted to. 524 00:26:04,782 --> 00:26:07,101 Speaker 2: This because there was an article on folk dot com 525 00:26:07,141 --> 00:26:11,782 Speaker 2: by Liz Hammond recently, and she makes the plea that 526 00:26:11,821 --> 00:26:15,022 Speaker 2: we stop using that phrase one and done to describe 527 00:26:15,022 --> 00:26:17,341 Speaker 2: families with one child. I didn't even know that I 528 00:26:17,341 --> 00:26:19,742 Speaker 2: shouldn't be using it. Let me explain why she said 529 00:26:19,821 --> 00:26:22,021 Speaker 2: we shouldn't be using it. She has one five year 530 00:26:22,022 --> 00:26:24,942 Speaker 2: old son, she's pretty sure she doesn't want more children, 531 00:26:25,182 --> 00:26:27,421 Speaker 2: and she says that one and done fails to capture 532 00:26:27,462 --> 00:26:31,542 Speaker 2: the complexity of raising a child today because her responsibilities 533 00:26:31,742 --> 00:26:35,861 Speaker 2: as a parent are not done after giving birth. Stacy, 534 00:26:36,061 --> 00:26:36,902 Speaker 2: are we doing. 535 00:26:36,702 --> 00:26:38,701 Speaker 3: It all wrong? And why do you have a problem 536 00:26:38,702 --> 00:26:40,821 Speaker 3: with one and done? Well, you can both stop panicking. 537 00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:41,621 Speaker 3: It's okay. 538 00:26:41,742 --> 00:26:44,182 Speaker 4: Because I have referred to myself as one and done 539 00:26:44,341 --> 00:26:47,941 Speaker 4: until I read this article as well, So it's absolutely fine. 540 00:26:47,942 --> 00:26:50,222 Speaker 4: At least to me, it hasn't bothered me. But I 541 00:26:50,302 --> 00:26:53,542 Speaker 4: must admit that that Vogue article did make me rethink 542 00:26:53,581 --> 00:26:56,101 Speaker 4: the term, because I thought it was really interesting that 543 00:26:56,262 --> 00:26:59,222 Speaker 4: she argued that when you say you're one and done, 544 00:26:59,302 --> 00:27:01,142 Speaker 4: it makes it sound like, you know, you popped out 545 00:27:01,141 --> 00:27:01,542 Speaker 4: a kid. 546 00:27:01,782 --> 00:27:03,101 Speaker 3: You've done the hard part. 547 00:27:02,942 --> 00:27:05,102 Speaker 4: And now it's just going to be easy, and it's 548 00:27:05,101 --> 00:27:07,221 Speaker 4: so much easier than listen not to, is it not? 549 00:27:07,462 --> 00:27:11,982 Speaker 4: It's so not of I was on another podcast called 550 00:27:12,061 --> 00:27:15,302 Speaker 4: The Kids or Trial Free Podcasts, and Kelty, the host 551 00:27:15,422 --> 00:27:17,421 Speaker 4: asked me this question as well, because she said a 552 00:27:17,462 --> 00:27:19,981 Speaker 4: lot of people who are considering whether to have children 553 00:27:20,022 --> 00:27:23,101 Speaker 4: at all often will say, well, I'll just have one, 554 00:27:23,581 --> 00:27:25,941 Speaker 4: as if it's a middle ground. And she said, what 555 00:27:26,101 --> 00:27:28,421 Speaker 4: is your take. Do you feel like having one is 556 00:27:28,462 --> 00:27:31,461 Speaker 4: closer to having two or closer to having none? And 557 00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:34,302 Speaker 4: I said, it is so much closer to having two 558 00:27:34,621 --> 00:27:38,462 Speaker 4: than to having none, Like my life is unrecognizable from 559 00:27:38,502 --> 00:27:42,702 Speaker 4: before having my child. And so I think there's this 560 00:27:42,982 --> 00:27:46,381 Speaker 4: understanding that it's like parenting light. You know that you 561 00:27:46,502 --> 00:27:48,341 Speaker 4: just got the easy way out of doing it. But 562 00:27:48,661 --> 00:27:51,341 Speaker 4: you're still getting all the emotions and all the stress 563 00:27:51,341 --> 00:27:53,542 Speaker 4: and all the herd outside your body and stressing about 564 00:27:53,542 --> 00:27:56,182 Speaker 4: whether your child will turn out okay. And then you're 565 00:27:56,262 --> 00:27:59,182 Speaker 4: layering on all these assumptions that people have about only children, 566 00:27:59,341 --> 00:28:02,302 Speaker 4: that they might be selfish, or they might be weird, 567 00:28:02,542 --> 00:28:04,501 Speaker 4: or they won't know how to share with other people. 568 00:28:04,742 --> 00:28:07,462 Speaker 4: There's so many things that people kind of put on you. 569 00:28:07,581 --> 00:28:09,421 Speaker 2: Well, you said in your article for Mum and Me 570 00:28:09,782 --> 00:28:11,542 Speaker 2: that you get these comments from. 571 00:28:11,821 --> 00:28:13,702 Speaker 3: To your face. Yeah, yeah, definitely. 572 00:28:13,782 --> 00:28:15,942 Speaker 4: And I think just as a PSA for people who 573 00:28:15,982 --> 00:28:17,581 Speaker 4: want to say that, I know it's probably out of 574 00:28:17,661 --> 00:28:20,941 Speaker 4: genuine curiosity, but people with one kid are thinking about 575 00:28:20,942 --> 00:28:23,461 Speaker 4: it a lot like that is something that plays on 576 00:28:23,502 --> 00:28:26,542 Speaker 4: your mind A ton is are you doing the wrong thing? 577 00:28:26,982 --> 00:28:29,341 Speaker 4: But I think your reason for having a second can't 578 00:28:29,341 --> 00:28:32,422 Speaker 4: be out of service to your child. I think now 579 00:28:32,621 --> 00:28:36,622 Speaker 4: women can and all couples can be thinking about what 580 00:28:36,861 --> 00:28:39,222 Speaker 4: is best for them as a parent and what will 581 00:28:39,222 --> 00:28:41,422 Speaker 4: mean that they can give their child the best life, 582 00:28:41,422 --> 00:28:45,062 Speaker 4: whether that's for financial reasons, whether that's for mental health reasons, 583 00:28:45,062 --> 00:28:48,222 Speaker 4: whether it's just that you don't feel the strong urge 584 00:28:48,262 --> 00:28:51,221 Speaker 4: any of those are enough, I think, and so we 585 00:28:51,342 --> 00:28:53,262 Speaker 4: probably can stop calling it that. 586 00:28:53,661 --> 00:28:56,062 Speaker 1: Stacy. This article that you wrote, and we will link 587 00:28:56,102 --> 00:28:58,382 Speaker 1: to it in the show notes because I want everyone 588 00:28:58,422 --> 00:29:00,542 Speaker 1: to read it. I think everyone should read it, no 589 00:29:00,582 --> 00:29:04,022 Speaker 1: matter how many kids you have. It was beautiful, it 590 00:29:04,142 --> 00:29:09,342 Speaker 1: was smart. It's important because language is everything. And what 591 00:29:09,742 --> 00:29:12,542 Speaker 1: highlighted in that articles how many times people will come 592 00:29:12,582 --> 00:29:15,662 Speaker 1: to you and weigh in on your reproductive choices. When 593 00:29:15,702 --> 00:29:18,022 Speaker 1: are you having a second? Are you going to give 594 00:29:18,022 --> 00:29:21,622 Speaker 1: them a sibling? And it just feels so I know 595 00:29:21,661 --> 00:29:25,982 Speaker 1: it's well intentioned, but it does kind of feel very 596 00:29:26,102 --> 00:29:30,222 Speaker 1: dated to weigh in on someone else's choice of family. 597 00:29:30,302 --> 00:29:32,782 Speaker 1: It's like we don't say any more like oh, the 598 00:29:32,822 --> 00:29:35,142 Speaker 1: clock's ticking, and we don't say like when are you 599 00:29:35,142 --> 00:29:37,462 Speaker 1: going to start a family? Because families come in all 600 00:29:37,462 --> 00:29:41,742 Speaker 1: shapes and sizes. So we've mostly retired those phrases because 601 00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:44,021 Speaker 1: it feels like, you know, they were never okay in 602 00:29:44,062 --> 00:29:47,262 Speaker 1: the first place. I do feel like the questions around 603 00:29:47,542 --> 00:29:49,662 Speaker 1: are you having another when are you having another one? 604 00:29:49,942 --> 00:29:51,382 Speaker 1: Are you going to give them a sister or brother? 605 00:29:52,022 --> 00:29:54,022 Speaker 1: They need to be retired. They should be in the 606 00:29:54,022 --> 00:29:54,622 Speaker 1: same bucket. 607 00:29:54,742 --> 00:29:57,542 Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely, And I think like I would consider myself 608 00:29:57,582 --> 00:30:00,221 Speaker 4: a pretty agreeable person. I know Amelia said yesterday she 609 00:30:00,222 --> 00:30:02,662 Speaker 4: can't imagine me being bothered by anything like I think 610 00:30:02,702 --> 00:30:05,221 Speaker 4: I come across and if there was one thing that 611 00:30:05,262 --> 00:30:07,542 Speaker 4: bothered you, the people say, and there is one thing 612 00:30:07,582 --> 00:30:10,142 Speaker 4: that bothers me, And it's when people say, when are 613 00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:13,502 Speaker 4: you having another? Not are you thinking about having another? 614 00:30:13,582 --> 00:30:17,021 Speaker 4: Because I understand the genuine curiosity, too's the norm, So 615 00:30:17,102 --> 00:30:20,102 Speaker 4: I understand people assuming that if you've had one, you 616 00:30:20,182 --> 00:30:23,181 Speaker 4: probably do want to. So I love talking about it 617 00:30:23,222 --> 00:30:26,461 Speaker 4: to people, But it's the when that really annoys me 618 00:30:26,502 --> 00:30:29,902 Speaker 4: because I think it undermines what people go through to 619 00:30:29,942 --> 00:30:31,701 Speaker 4: even have a child in the first place, and what 620 00:30:31,782 --> 00:30:34,102 Speaker 4: I went through to have my child in the first place. 621 00:30:34,542 --> 00:30:37,102 Speaker 4: For many people, it's not a choice, and having one 622 00:30:37,262 --> 00:30:39,502 Speaker 4: might not be what they want. For me, it is, 623 00:30:39,542 --> 00:30:42,102 Speaker 4: but for some people that's just how their family dynamic 624 00:30:42,142 --> 00:30:45,142 Speaker 4: pans out. So I think there's that, and it also 625 00:30:45,661 --> 00:30:49,462 Speaker 4: layers the expectation on women that we're somehow selfish or 626 00:30:49,502 --> 00:30:51,502 Speaker 4: prioritizing our own lives too much. 627 00:30:52,022 --> 00:30:54,582 Speaker 1: Stacy, you just said it in your own answer. Then 628 00:30:54,702 --> 00:30:57,382 Speaker 1: you just said two is the norm, and that's the 629 00:30:57,462 --> 00:30:59,542 Speaker 1: kind of thinking that we need to stop. Yeah, that's 630 00:30:59,542 --> 00:31:03,062 Speaker 1: the retoric. That's not helpful. It's not the norm. There 631 00:31:03,182 --> 00:31:07,102 Speaker 1: is no norm. Families are all shaped, sizes, amount of people, 632 00:31:07,622 --> 00:31:08,542 Speaker 1: there is no normal. 633 00:31:08,782 --> 00:31:11,742 Speaker 2: Also, people are having fewer children. It's becoming the norm. 634 00:31:12,142 --> 00:31:14,502 Speaker 2: You quoted this in the article. But the Australian Bureau 635 00:31:14,502 --> 00:31:18,542 Speaker 2: Statistics has new numbers on this and Australian families are 636 00:31:18,582 --> 00:31:20,942 Speaker 2: going to have an average of one point six babies 637 00:31:21,062 --> 00:31:23,182 Speaker 2: over the next two years. That's down from two point three. 638 00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:24,982 Speaker 2: So this is the new norm. 639 00:31:25,022 --> 00:31:25,582 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. 640 00:31:25,661 --> 00:31:28,181 Speaker 4: And I think only just have a pr problem really 641 00:31:28,462 --> 00:31:31,862 Speaker 4: because it all stems from research that happened in the 642 00:31:31,942 --> 00:31:36,142 Speaker 4: eighteen hundreds around that only children were a disease was 643 00:31:36,182 --> 00:31:39,382 Speaker 4: what they were called. And so I like, very selfishly 644 00:31:39,422 --> 00:31:42,382 Speaker 4: for my wanting my own reassurance, I interviewed an expert 645 00:31:42,462 --> 00:31:45,181 Speaker 4: who's done a lot of research on only children because 646 00:31:45,222 --> 00:31:48,661 Speaker 4: she has one child as well, doctor Razina McAlpine. So 647 00:31:48,702 --> 00:31:51,302 Speaker 4: she's got a master's in higher education, done so much 648 00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:54,461 Speaker 4: research in this area, and research she found showed that 649 00:31:54,582 --> 00:31:57,862 Speaker 4: only borns generally do equally as well as first borns 650 00:31:58,102 --> 00:32:01,421 Speaker 4: and children in two child families, and they surpassed children 651 00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:08,022 Speaker 4: from larger families across all of the measures of academic achievement, intelligence, sociability, character, 652 00:32:08,142 --> 00:32:09,542 Speaker 4: and child parent relationship. 653 00:32:09,902 --> 00:32:12,462 Speaker 1: So all the myths around they will grow up lonely, 654 00:32:12,622 --> 00:32:13,582 Speaker 1: they don't hold up. 655 00:32:14,022 --> 00:32:16,422 Speaker 4: No, they don't hold up. They have the same outcomes 656 00:32:16,422 --> 00:32:19,981 Speaker 4: as children into child households. Thank God for me. 657 00:32:20,782 --> 00:32:23,062 Speaker 1: Okay, to wrap up today's show, my favorite bit. We 658 00:32:23,182 --> 00:32:26,702 Speaker 1: share the things that we are loving, sick, the things 659 00:32:26,702 --> 00:32:28,622 Speaker 1: that we might text to our friends, put in the 660 00:32:28,702 --> 00:32:33,782 Speaker 1: mum group chat, whatever it is. It's recommendations, Stacy, what 661 00:32:33,862 --> 00:32:35,421 Speaker 1: do you got so mine? 662 00:32:35,422 --> 00:32:35,822 Speaker 3: This week? 663 00:32:35,902 --> 00:32:38,022 Speaker 4: Is a sleep story that doesn't make me want to 664 00:32:38,062 --> 00:32:40,782 Speaker 4: fall asleep, although I have fallen asleep in my daughter's 665 00:32:40,822 --> 00:32:42,342 Speaker 4: bed a lot of times. 666 00:32:42,742 --> 00:32:45,181 Speaker 1: Hang on, that's the point. Don't you want them to 667 00:32:45,182 --> 00:32:45,902 Speaker 1: be sleepy? 668 00:32:45,942 --> 00:32:48,382 Speaker 4: I want them to be sleepy. I don't want to 669 00:32:48,382 --> 00:32:50,502 Speaker 4: be listening to it being tortured by the sound. And 670 00:32:50,542 --> 00:32:53,701 Speaker 4: there are a few that genuinely are so painful to 671 00:32:53,742 --> 00:32:55,982 Speaker 4: listen to, even for a couple of minutes. But on 672 00:32:56,062 --> 00:33:00,182 Speaker 4: Spotify it's free. This series called Calm Kids Bedtime Stories, 673 00:33:00,422 --> 00:33:03,302 Speaker 4: and there's one called Hector's Exploding Head, which my daughter 674 00:33:03,342 --> 00:33:06,342 Speaker 4: and I really love. So it's about a kid who 675 00:33:06,422 --> 00:33:09,062 Speaker 4: forgets his mum's birthday and forgets his homework and just 676 00:33:09,142 --> 00:33:12,022 Speaker 4: generally hopeless, like all kids around that age can be 677 00:33:12,102 --> 00:33:14,582 Speaker 4: with that stuff, and then someone visits the school that 678 00:33:14,702 --> 00:33:17,622 Speaker 4: teaches them about breathing to calm themselves down and keep 679 00:33:17,661 --> 00:33:20,462 Speaker 4: their head connected to their neck basically so their head 680 00:33:20,502 --> 00:33:21,502 Speaker 4: doesn't explode. 681 00:33:21,742 --> 00:33:22,862 Speaker 3: I just love listening to it. 682 00:33:22,902 --> 00:33:24,982 Speaker 4: I've probably listened to it a hundred times, and I'm 683 00:33:24,982 --> 00:33:27,462 Speaker 4: not sick of it yet. My daughter's probably half listened 684 00:33:27,502 --> 00:33:30,142 Speaker 4: to it about one hundred times because thankfully she dozes off. 685 00:33:30,422 --> 00:33:31,501 Speaker 3: So that's my recommendation. 686 00:33:32,822 --> 00:33:34,742 Speaker 1: Hector's exploding, Hector's. 687 00:33:34,342 --> 00:33:36,062 Speaker 3: Exploding head, And it's just fun to say. 688 00:33:36,422 --> 00:33:40,661 Speaker 2: Well, I wanted to talk about playdate anxiety because I 689 00:33:40,782 --> 00:33:44,982 Speaker 2: know I should be hosting playdates, but I hosted one 690 00:33:45,942 --> 00:33:48,262 Speaker 2: a couple of years ago that i'm still recovering from. 691 00:33:48,502 --> 00:33:51,022 Speaker 2: Thought the kids were playing so nicely together because we 692 00:33:51,022 --> 00:33:53,862 Speaker 2: didn't hear from them, and then basically walked into the 693 00:33:53,902 --> 00:33:56,262 Speaker 2: room they were playing in and it seriously looked like 694 00:33:56,262 --> 00:33:59,742 Speaker 2: the Rolling Stones had been there for seven days having 695 00:33:59,782 --> 00:34:03,862 Speaker 2: a party because everything was everywhere, and it just really 696 00:34:03,862 --> 00:34:07,022 Speaker 2: triggered my anxiety. I can't deal with stress or mess, 697 00:34:07,062 --> 00:34:10,622 Speaker 2: particularly living in a two bedroom apartment, it really gets. 698 00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,342 Speaker 1: To me, isn't that the fun of the play date? 699 00:34:12,462 --> 00:34:14,102 Speaker 2: No, it's not the fun of the play date. Months 700 00:34:14,142 --> 00:34:17,142 Speaker 2: I can tell that we're different people. So I needed 701 00:34:17,182 --> 00:34:20,542 Speaker 2: to find something to have the children do that did 702 00:34:20,582 --> 00:34:24,102 Speaker 2: not result in mess. And I went to a playdate 703 00:34:24,102 --> 00:34:26,502 Speaker 2: at someone else's place on the weekend and she had 704 00:34:26,502 --> 00:34:29,182 Speaker 2: the most brilliant idea which I'm going to steal, which 705 00:34:29,221 --> 00:34:33,341 Speaker 2: is that the girls decorated water bottles together. And I 706 00:34:33,422 --> 00:34:36,301 Speaker 2: love this because it's not just like more useless plastic. 707 00:34:36,382 --> 00:34:39,422 Speaker 2: It's actually something they need. As we know, water bottles 708 00:34:39,462 --> 00:34:42,422 Speaker 2: disappear to the great water bottle black hole in the 709 00:34:42,422 --> 00:34:45,341 Speaker 2: sky and you don't know why or where. With the 710 00:34:45,382 --> 00:34:48,781 Speaker 2: socks with the one sock, not both socks, just one sock. 711 00:34:49,302 --> 00:34:51,661 Speaker 2: And so now she has a water bottle that she's 712 00:34:51,781 --> 00:34:54,542 Speaker 2: very proud of. The girls spent a good hour decorating 713 00:34:54,542 --> 00:34:56,741 Speaker 2: the water bottles together, and I just thought it was 714 00:34:56,822 --> 00:35:00,942 Speaker 2: a brilliant, very tidy activity for a playdate. And I 715 00:35:00,982 --> 00:35:04,502 Speaker 2: will unpack my neurosies about mess at a later time, 716 00:35:04,661 --> 00:35:07,582 Speaker 2: perhaps not on a podcast. Anyway, these water bottles you 717 00:35:07,622 --> 00:35:09,821 Speaker 2: can get the kits that came up. They're about thirty 718 00:35:09,862 --> 00:35:13,262 Speaker 2: dollars each, and I'm going to try that out myself 719 00:35:13,342 --> 00:35:15,181 Speaker 2: next time I host a play date. Next time I 720 00:35:15,261 --> 00:35:17,142 Speaker 2: summon the courage to host a play date. 721 00:35:17,342 --> 00:35:19,261 Speaker 1: Okay, so it wasn't like build your own like the 722 00:35:19,342 --> 00:35:21,741 Speaker 1: mom didn't gather all the separate bits and do it. 723 00:35:21,741 --> 00:35:22,941 Speaker 1: It's already done for us. 724 00:35:23,181 --> 00:35:24,261 Speaker 3: Oh gosh, no no. 725 00:35:24,382 --> 00:35:28,221 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a kit with stickers and great story things, and. 726 00:35:28,302 --> 00:35:28,981 Speaker 3: Yeah it was great. 727 00:35:29,342 --> 00:35:32,502 Speaker 1: Okay, team, I have the ultimate test of grit for 728 00:35:32,582 --> 00:35:34,462 Speaker 1: your kids. You know, we're always looking of ways to 729 00:35:34,542 --> 00:35:38,221 Speaker 1: increase resilience in our children. I've got a screen endurance 730 00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:40,142 Speaker 1: test that's going to break them. 731 00:35:41,822 --> 00:35:42,661 Speaker 3: Sounds fine. 732 00:35:43,382 --> 00:35:46,022 Speaker 1: You sit down to watch a movie with them. You 733 00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:53,102 Speaker 1: select Disney, then choose Mary Poppins, Say nothing, and what 734 00:35:53,221 --> 00:35:58,102 Speaker 1: will happen next will determine your kid's level of resilience 735 00:35:58,582 --> 00:36:04,742 Speaker 1: because the intro Mary Poppins is lacially slow. There's three 736 00:36:04,822 --> 00:36:08,262 Speaker 1: minutes and six seconds before anything happens on the screen. 737 00:36:08,582 --> 00:36:12,142 Speaker 1: It's just text and very slow Edwardian sort of music. 738 00:36:12,741 --> 00:36:16,261 Speaker 1: I aged thirty years before Mary flies out of the 739 00:36:16,261 --> 00:36:19,382 Speaker 1: fucking sky. I swear to god, it's so sore. My 740 00:36:19,542 --> 00:36:23,062 Speaker 1: kids could not handle it, and I was loving it. 741 00:36:23,542 --> 00:36:26,502 Speaker 1: I just said nothing, and they were like, mom, mom, 742 00:36:26,822 --> 00:36:29,502 Speaker 1: working themselves into the biggest lather. Why is nothing happening? 743 00:36:29,661 --> 00:36:31,901 Speaker 1: What are these words on the screen. I loved it 744 00:36:31,942 --> 00:36:34,982 Speaker 1: for them. I think it's the ultimate endurance test for 745 00:36:35,062 --> 00:36:37,982 Speaker 1: the screen generation. I highly recommend it. 746 00:36:38,181 --> 00:36:40,741 Speaker 2: That is deranged and I love it. I want to 747 00:36:40,781 --> 00:36:43,861 Speaker 2: add a further deranged recommendation for that movie, which is 748 00:36:43,982 --> 00:36:49,301 Speaker 2: I find the lead actor very attractive. I enjoyed watching it. 749 00:36:49,382 --> 00:36:50,502 Speaker 2: He's very attractive. 750 00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:51,422 Speaker 3: Dick van die. 751 00:36:52,902 --> 00:36:55,982 Speaker 2: Back in the ninety nine and he's dancing and he's 752 00:36:56,022 --> 00:36:57,622 Speaker 2: still living a great life. 753 00:36:57,741 --> 00:36:59,462 Speaker 3: And I just love Dick Van Dyke. 754 00:37:00,062 --> 00:37:02,261 Speaker 1: No is he the one that could start with the 755 00:37:02,302 --> 00:37:05,022 Speaker 1: harmonica and no. 756 00:37:05,422 --> 00:37:09,102 Speaker 3: Chimney sweet mons. I guess I'm purple heart for Dick Vandy. Yeah, 757 00:37:09,142 --> 00:37:09,462 Speaker 3: if you. 758 00:37:10,142 --> 00:37:12,502 Speaker 1: I think what's refreshing about Dick Van Dyke is his 759 00:37:12,661 --> 00:37:15,181 Speaker 1: bad teeth, Like how you never see bad teeth on 760 00:37:15,221 --> 00:37:17,462 Speaker 1: screens anymore? And I saw his teeth and I was like, Oh, 761 00:37:17,502 --> 00:37:19,421 Speaker 1: that's so nice that someone doesn't have a year. 762 00:37:19,542 --> 00:37:21,622 Speaker 2: That is so cruel and such a bad kind of 763 00:37:21,661 --> 00:37:23,062 Speaker 2: compliment to a screen legend. 764 00:37:23,661 --> 00:37:28,301 Speaker 1: I'm not into him. I am into mister Banks how 765 00:37:28,342 --> 00:37:30,742 Speaker 1: he walks in at the start, He's like, my home 766 00:37:31,221 --> 00:37:34,542 Speaker 1: is run like a thing. Like he's just so like 767 00:37:34,822 --> 00:37:37,301 Speaker 1: precise about everything. I love that for him. 768 00:37:37,382 --> 00:37:40,902 Speaker 2: So what we're saying basically, there's like two male fox 769 00:37:41,022 --> 00:37:43,702 Speaker 2: leads to choose between ye the moms. 770 00:37:43,382 --> 00:37:46,622 Speaker 3: Pick your poison and torturing your kids. It sounds great. 771 00:37:49,342 --> 00:37:51,262 Speaker 1: All right, that's all we have time for on Parenting 772 00:37:51,261 --> 00:37:52,821 Speaker 1: out Loud today. Thanks for hanging out. 773 00:37:53,102 --> 00:37:53,301 Speaker 2: Hey. 774 00:37:53,302 --> 00:37:55,062 Speaker 1: I want to shout out to the out louders who 775 00:37:55,142 --> 00:37:57,861 Speaker 1: said we should make this show a real thing, like 776 00:37:57,862 --> 00:38:00,102 Speaker 1: you're the reason where he's doing this, so thank you 777 00:38:00,142 --> 00:38:04,102 Speaker 1: for getting around it. Mainly Amelia. It's people want you Amelia, 778 00:38:04,181 --> 00:38:05,862 Speaker 1: so Stacy and I I'm. 779 00:38:05,741 --> 00:38:10,502 Speaker 2: Choosing don't ever use the brain emoji when talking about me. 780 00:38:10,582 --> 00:38:10,982 Speaker 3: Okay. 781 00:38:12,221 --> 00:38:16,181 Speaker 1: Special mentions to Sally who said parenting podcasts of boring, 782 00:38:16,342 --> 00:38:17,422 Speaker 1: except this one's great. 783 00:38:17,661 --> 00:38:18,502 Speaker 3: We love you, Sally. 784 00:38:18,902 --> 00:38:21,861 Speaker 1: Sophie said anything with Amelia, I'm tuning in. 785 00:38:22,462 --> 00:38:24,982 Speaker 3: There's a lot of that, Sophie. I'm offended. 786 00:38:25,982 --> 00:38:29,181 Speaker 1: I know, I know we're just the hangers on. And 787 00:38:29,302 --> 00:38:31,542 Speaker 1: myth who said I don't even have kids and I 788 00:38:31,661 --> 00:38:34,902 Speaker 1: never miss an episode. Put that on the billboard and 789 00:38:34,902 --> 00:38:39,142 Speaker 1: then she put a purple heart emoji. Eh, miss, we're 790 00:38:39,181 --> 00:38:43,622 Speaker 1: horny for you too if you'd loved this episode. The 791 00:38:43,661 --> 00:38:46,142 Speaker 1: best way to help us in these really early days 792 00:38:46,502 --> 00:38:49,582 Speaker 1: is just to do one thing. It's search for Parenting 793 00:38:49,582 --> 00:38:52,341 Speaker 1: out Loud in your podcast app, find the show, and 794 00:38:52,382 --> 00:38:55,422 Speaker 1: then hit follow. So it's free to do it. But 795 00:38:55,502 --> 00:38:58,181 Speaker 1: it's like the Instagram algorithm, kind of equivalent of a 796 00:38:58,221 --> 00:39:01,982 Speaker 1: love heart, where if you do it, it pushes the 797 00:39:02,022 --> 00:39:05,301 Speaker 1: show in the algorithm, like the algorithm goes, oh, like shit, 798 00:39:05,342 --> 00:39:07,102 Speaker 1: there's all these people that are liking this one, so 799 00:39:07,181 --> 00:39:09,861 Speaker 1: it surfaces it to more people, so more people see 800 00:39:09,862 --> 00:39:12,261 Speaker 1: it and they're like, oh, what's this? Oh merely a lester? 801 00:39:12,382 --> 00:39:13,622 Speaker 1: Yes please, you. 802 00:39:13,701 --> 00:39:16,062 Speaker 3: Can't dyke discussion so topical. 803 00:39:18,102 --> 00:39:20,822 Speaker 1: But if all that sounds too hard, that's fine, no pressure. 804 00:39:21,181 --> 00:39:24,102 Speaker 1: Just come back next Saturday and hang out again. It's 805 00:39:24,142 --> 00:39:26,301 Speaker 1: been great, so have a great week and we'll talk 806 00:39:26,342 --> 00:39:26,661 Speaker 1: to you then. 807 00:39:26,822 --> 00:39:28,862 Speaker 3: Byye