WEBVTT - Sorry, Not Sorry

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a mother Mer podcast, Muma Me your

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<v Speaker 1>acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters. This

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<v Speaker 1>podcast is recorded on first love. Remember that, the innocent fun,

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<v Speaker 1>the inseparability, the rush of emotions, and all those forgettable firsts.

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<v Speaker 1>For Susie and John, that was exactly what it was like.

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<v Speaker 2>They were just very similar, grew up in the same town,

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<v Speaker 2>are the same friends and families. Knew each other, which

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<v Speaker 2>is easy. He treated me so well does my high

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<v Speaker 2>school sweetheart. We loved each other so much. Every day

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<v Speaker 2>was blissed with him. Yeah, we loved each other very much.

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<v Speaker 1>The thing about first love, though, is that one of

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<v Speaker 1>the firsts is the breakup, a rite of passage, but

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<v Speaker 1>never an easy one. So what happens when you go

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<v Speaker 1>through two breakups at once, one with your ex and

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<v Speaker 1>another with someone you never imagine could or should break

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<v Speaker 1>your heart?

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't anybody at all. It's like I found them

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<v Speaker 2>that night, and then they just continued on living their

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<v Speaker 2>merry life, doing everything that me and him used to do.

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<v Speaker 2>And then no one sat me down, no one said anything,

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<v Speaker 2>no one mentioned a theme. It was just it was

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<v Speaker 2>a weird, just a weird shock. I don't know how

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<v Speaker 2>anybody could do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex

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<v Speaker 1>Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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<v Speaker 1>unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the

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<v Speaker 1>hearts of the very people who lived them. At sixteen,

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<v Speaker 1>Susie was just your typical teenage girl. She was the

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<v Speaker 1>youngest of five kids. There was her sister, Anne, who

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<v Speaker 1>was fifteen years older, and her best friend, along with

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<v Speaker 1>three brothers. She had plenty of friends and enjoyed the

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<v Speaker 1>simple life of a small town. Things were good and

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<v Speaker 1>right around there, boys started catching her eye, especially one

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<v Speaker 1>in particular named John.

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<v Speaker 2>We went to the same high school in a small

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<v Speaker 2>country town. I always noticed him at school, but we

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<v Speaker 2>never really spoke. It wasn't until after. It wasn'tuntil after

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<v Speaker 2>we met at a party, a house party once. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we just clicked instantly. Basically, we never really spoke at school,

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<v Speaker 2>but when we spoke at the party, we just got

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<v Speaker 2>on so well.

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<v Speaker 1>From that point on, they were pretty much official. John

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<v Speaker 1>was a couple of years older, but they shared the

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<v Speaker 1>same interest and their young love had all the right

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<v Speaker 1>ingredients fun, adventure and plenty of loves.

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<v Speaker 2>We were inseparable. So the minute he'd knock off from

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<v Speaker 2>work or I'd finish work, he'd come over to my house.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd go to his house. Itill summer. We'd go to

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<v Speaker 2>the beach, go to the movies, always out to dinners.

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<v Speaker 2>Back then in the small town, there was always parties

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<v Speaker 2>on the weekend. We just had a blast together. I

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<v Speaker 2>went on his family holidays, he'd come on mine. Just

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<v Speaker 2>every single minute when we're together, and we just cleaped like.

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<v Speaker 2>There was never any issues. We never fought, We're never jealous,

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<v Speaker 2>all the you know, the things would do when we're

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<v Speaker 2>of teenagers. We'd love to go to music festivals. We'd

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<v Speaker 2>go to all the same parties. I think a small

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<v Speaker 2>country town to everyone knew everybody, so you go to

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<v Speaker 2>a party and just be the same, like fifty people. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we just got on so well. He was an apprentice

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<v Speaker 2>and I worked in an office, and we would just

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<v Speaker 2>spend every minute we went at work, we'd spend it together.

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<v Speaker 2>We'd go to all the parties together at the small town.

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<v Speaker 2>He'd take me out for dinners all the time, heaps

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<v Speaker 2>of movies, anything fun. Really, We'll just go on random

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<v Speaker 2>road trips. I mean, we were young. I was sixteen,

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<v Speaker 2>he might have been nineteen. See, whenever we went at work,

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<v Speaker 2>we were just together. I didn't have my license, so

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<v Speaker 2>he did. He drove me everywhere. We'd go to the city,

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<v Speaker 2>just yeah, on the train, any adventure. He was very adventurous.

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<v Speaker 2>He would go to Taife about twenty minute drive when

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<v Speaker 2>he was an apprentice, and he took a backstreet one

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<v Speaker 2>day by himself and he saw going left one way

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<v Speaker 2>was the street with my name was the street name,

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<v Speaker 2>and then going the opposite direction was the street name

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<v Speaker 2>was his name. Well, like, that is so wild, what

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<v Speaker 2>are the chances of that? He came home and showed

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<v Speaker 2>me the photo on his phone and we all laughed

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<v Speaker 2>about it, and we went to tape. The next week

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<v Speaker 2>when he came home, he had the two street signs

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<v Speaker 2>in his car and he told them and we hung

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<v Speaker 2>him up, like hung them up in the garden and

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<v Speaker 2>it was like this big joke. And they were just

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<v Speaker 2>right next to each other, our two names. It was

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<v Speaker 2>just and they're still there. I drive past them sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>and see the signs of life. They were good times,

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<v Speaker 2>always having a laugh, It was always fun, always joking around. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>they were happy times. Yeah, We're just very similar, grew

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<v Speaker 2>up in the same town and the same friends and families,

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<v Speaker 2>knew each other. It was just easy. He treated me

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<v Speaker 2>so well. John was definitely a part of our family.

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<v Speaker 2>I was a part of his family, and yeah, John

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<v Speaker 2>was a part of mine, just my high school sweetheart.

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<v Speaker 2>We loved each other so much. Every day was blissed

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<v Speaker 2>with him. Yeah, we loved each other very much.

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<v Speaker 1>Two years into their relationship, Susie caught a serious case

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<v Speaker 1>of wonderlust. Ready to spread it, she set his sights

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<v Speaker 1>on the adventure of a lifetime, the solo Journey Overseas.

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<v Speaker 2>After I graduated high school, I had friends that live

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<v Speaker 2>in Canada and America, so I decided that I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to go save up for a year and go traveling.

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<v Speaker 2>So I graduated school, saved up, and flew out. We've

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<v Speaker 2>been together two years by this point, and I was

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<v Speaker 2>gone for nine months, which was a very long time.

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<v Speaker 2>There were times where I thought maybe I shouldn't go

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<v Speaker 2>because I'm so inseparable, but he couldn't come because he

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<v Speaker 2>was an apprentice. I just I think I can wait

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<v Speaker 2>around for like two or three years, so I thought

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<v Speaker 2>I'll just go. I think I was so naive. I thought,

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<v Speaker 2>nine months, you know, it won't be that hard. But

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<v Speaker 2>I remember the minute I flew out. I landed in

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<v Speaker 2>Singapore and I just had like a twelve hour layover

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<v Speaker 2>and I just cried in the airport for twelve hours,

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<v Speaker 2>thinking how am I going to do this? I've made

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<v Speaker 2>the biggest mistake. I already missed him and missed my family.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was only day one out of nine months.

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<v Speaker 2>So out of that nine months, for five of those months,

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<v Speaker 2>five or six months, I was in Canada. I'd never

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<v Speaker 2>seen snow, and they live in northern Canada where it's

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<v Speaker 2>like minus fifty every day in winter. We did skiing,

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<v Speaker 2>snowboarding on Skoodoo, a lot of house parties very similar

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<v Speaker 2>to hear, but the weather was just so extreme. I'd

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<v Speaker 2>never experienced anything like that, leaving here in summer and

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<v Speaker 2>landing there in the middle of winter. The highlight of

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<v Speaker 2>the Canada trip was probably me and her flu and

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<v Speaker 2>saw the Spice Scales and concert, which was so amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>After Canada, I flew to the US and I stayed

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<v Speaker 2>with some of my dad's friends for a couple of months,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I had a pen pal who had never

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<v Speaker 2>met who lived in London. Yeah, it was a great time.

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<v Speaker 2>So when I was away, unfortunately the phone I had

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<v Speaker 2>didn't work where they lived. It was they lived quite

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<v Speaker 2>remote in northern Canada, so and I think Facebook was

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<v Speaker 2>just becoming a thing. So we were old school. We'd

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<v Speaker 2>have to email each other and I have to call

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<v Speaker 2>like his parents' house and get a landline because it

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<v Speaker 2>was twelve hours difference. I have to make sure I'm

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<v Speaker 2>calling at the right time, and he was at work,

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<v Speaker 2>so contact was pretty minimal when I first got there,

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<v Speaker 2>which I really struggled with not being able to just

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<v Speaker 2>pick up the phone and text or call him. One

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<v Speaker 2>my phone didn't work and two there was no signal.

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<v Speaker 2>So I did struggle with that, just going from like

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<v Speaker 2>twenty four seven contact or with him to really nothing

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<v Speaker 2>and knowing him on the other side of the world.

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<v Speaker 2>Just if I wanted to fly home, it's going to

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<v Speaker 2>take me three days to get home. And when I

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<v Speaker 2>was away for that nine months, thoughts to he crossed

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<v Speaker 2>my mind, like maybe I should just fly home because

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<v Speaker 2>I missed him and my family so much. But then

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<v Speaker 2>the other half of me it was like, they're so silly,

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<v Speaker 2>You've got to just see this out I missed him

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<v Speaker 2>so much and he missed me, and when I was away,

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<v Speaker 2>it all seemed so normal. He never we never had

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<v Speaker 2>any issues. Yeah, we just couldn't wait to be back

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<v Speaker 2>together again. We had plans to get married and have

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<v Speaker 2>kids and just be together forever.

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<v Speaker 1>And when it was time to come home, the old

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<v Speaker 1>saying rang true. Absence really did make the heart grow fonder.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember crying on the plane from Singapore to Perth,

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<v Speaker 2>just crying so long, sneaking I'm finely going to see

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<v Speaker 2>him again because we're together NonStop for two years, and

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<v Speaker 2>then to have a big, nine months long distance relationship

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<v Speaker 2>was really hard. He picked me up from the airport

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<v Speaker 2>when I landed. I remember being away for nine months.

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<v Speaker 2>That was just the best feeling of getting off the

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<v Speaker 2>plane after nine months and seeing him again. The joy

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<v Speaker 2>to see him was just so overwhelming. We both just

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<v Speaker 2>cried at the airport, like we just it'd been such

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<v Speaker 2>a long time, nine long, long months. We just said

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<v Speaker 2>we miss each other so much and that will never

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<v Speaker 2>be a part for that long again. I just got

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<v Speaker 2>back into work. He was still an apprentice, so he

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<v Speaker 2>went back to work. Everything was just so normal. I

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<v Speaker 2>sloted back in with my friends. Everything was great.

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<v Speaker 1>The time of part at such a young age has

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<v Speaker 1>a way of stirring questions and awakening new desires for

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<v Speaker 1>life's possibilities. Around four months after Susie's return, she found

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<v Speaker 1>herself seeing her relationship with John in a different light.

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<v Speaker 2>I suppose being away for so long, not only did

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<v Speaker 2>I miss him, but also realized, yes, you know so

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<v Speaker 2>many more years ahead of me that I don't need

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<v Speaker 2>to be settling down so young. And yeah, I felt

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<v Speaker 2>the same for him. I thought we both needed just

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<v Speaker 2>have fun. I guess, have fun with our friends and

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<v Speaker 2>have fun when we're young, not be so serious. I

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<v Speaker 2>was nineteen by this time, he was twenty one. We're

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<v Speaker 2>both just so young that I'd only never known him

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<v Speaker 2>since I was like sixteen. I only ever knew him

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<v Speaker 2>as a boyfriend. I didn't know anything else apart from him, So, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it was an accumulation of feelings. I think he was

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<v Speaker 2>feeling the same, so I thought I'd just bring it

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<v Speaker 2>up and just see how he feels. And in the

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<v Speaker 2>car we're just driving along, I just said, I think

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<v Speaker 2>I think you feel the same. I think we just

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<v Speaker 2>need to have some time apart we're drifting apart. We're

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<v Speaker 2>not as close as we used to be. And by

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<v Speaker 2>this time, you know, all our friends had sort of

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<v Speaker 2>moved away, and the town wasn't the same. It wasn't fun. See,

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<v Speaker 2>I thought, we'll just spend some time apart. I just

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<v Speaker 2>put it out there to see what he could say,

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<v Speaker 2>and he agreed. He thought, yep, it makes sense what

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<v Speaker 2>you're saying. And being an apprentice, he was locked into

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<v Speaker 2>that job, couldn't travel, didn't really want to travel. But

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<v Speaker 2>on me, on the other hand, I wanted to just

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<v Speaker 2>see the whole world. So we're just going in different directions.

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<v Speaker 2>He was very working, family based. I just wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>see the world and not really be tied down by anything,

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<v Speaker 2>especially so young. Yeah, from that day and we sort

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<v Speaker 2>of just was just a mutual split, which after two

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<v Speaker 2>and a half years it was sad, but I think

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<v Speaker 2>we're both fine with them. And I said, well, it's

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<v Speaker 2>not forever. We can just split for now and then

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<v Speaker 2>see we might go back together later in the future,

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<v Speaker 2>who knows. So it was sad for both of us,

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<v Speaker 2>but we definitely felt like it was the right thing

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<v Speaker 2>to do at that time. I suppose I didn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to be hit with the reality that we might not

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<v Speaker 2>get back together. So I just always took it as, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll just have a break and then we'll get back together.

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<v Speaker 2>And I guess he was the same. He just thought,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll see what happens. The weeks after, I do remember

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<v Speaker 2>that was really hard. It was really sad. I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>know what to do with my life because I just

0:10:53.328 --> 0:10:56.088
<v Speaker 2>I'd only known him for so long. I've always had

0:10:56.088 --> 0:10:59.128
<v Speaker 2>a big group of friends, like girlfriends, so I started

0:10:59.128 --> 0:11:01.368
<v Speaker 2>spending more time with them. But it was really hard.

0:11:01.368 --> 0:11:03.368
<v Speaker 2>It was really lonely trying and not pick up my

0:11:03.368 --> 0:11:06.848
<v Speaker 2>phone and message him or call him. He obviously felt

0:11:06.888 --> 0:11:09.208
<v Speaker 2>the same. There was a few texts back and forth,

0:11:09.288 --> 0:11:11.688
<v Speaker 2>just like check with each other, But think that made

0:11:11.688 --> 0:11:14.008
<v Speaker 2>it harder as well, which is like a reminder of

0:11:14.008 --> 0:11:17.528
<v Speaker 2>what we weren't and we just, yeah, slowly, just over

0:11:17.568 --> 0:11:19.928
<v Speaker 2>the weeks, I guess just grew apart even more.

0:11:21.248 --> 0:11:23.768
<v Speaker 1>It had been three months since Susie and John split.

0:11:24.248 --> 0:11:26.848
<v Speaker 1>While it was sad and difficult at times, she had

0:11:26.888 --> 0:11:29.888
<v Speaker 1>no regrets. She was embracing her freedom, spending time with

0:11:29.968 --> 0:11:33.648
<v Speaker 1>her girlfriends, savoring unforgettable nights out, and on one of

0:11:33.688 --> 0:11:36.648
<v Speaker 1>those nights, the word memorable was taken to a whole

0:11:36.648 --> 0:11:37.168
<v Speaker 1>new level.

0:11:37.448 --> 0:11:39.968
<v Speaker 2>My friends and I were going out to the bars

0:11:40.008 --> 0:11:43.728
<v Speaker 2>and the clubs, and we had to stop by my

0:11:43.808 --> 0:11:47.528
<v Speaker 2>best friend's parents' house. She lived in the same small town.

0:11:48.728 --> 0:11:52.088
<v Speaker 2>So we drove to her parents' house, pulled in the driveway,

0:11:52.448 --> 0:11:57.088
<v Speaker 2>and my sister, she lived two doors down from my

0:11:57.168 --> 0:11:59.888
<v Speaker 2>friend's parents house, And when we put up to her

0:11:59.968 --> 0:12:03.168
<v Speaker 2>friend's parents house, I saw his car was parked in

0:12:03.248 --> 0:12:07.088
<v Speaker 2>my sister's driveway, his being John's. I thought, that's a

0:12:07.128 --> 0:12:09.648
<v Speaker 2>bit strange. It was a Friday night, I remember that clearly.

0:12:10.288 --> 0:12:12.008
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why is Carl would be at her house.

0:12:12.288 --> 0:12:14.328
<v Speaker 2>I mean, we're all close and were together, like if

0:12:14.408 --> 0:12:20.008
<v Speaker 2>families are. And my sister so she's fifteen years older

0:12:20.048 --> 0:12:25.328
<v Speaker 2>than me at the time, I was nineteen. Boyfriend or

0:12:25.328 --> 0:12:28.048
<v Speaker 2>ex boyfriend at that time he was twenty one and

0:12:28.128 --> 0:12:31.248
<v Speaker 2>she was thirty three. So I just got out of

0:12:31.248 --> 0:12:36.088
<v Speaker 2>the car and walked down to her house and inside

0:12:36.128 --> 0:12:39.248
<v Speaker 2>the loundry and light was on, and I peered through

0:12:39.928 --> 0:12:44.487
<v Speaker 2>the front door was like a frosted glass, and they

0:12:44.528 --> 0:12:48.968
<v Speaker 2>were just having sex in the one hundred room, and

0:12:49.448 --> 0:12:53.008
<v Speaker 2>I was just like, what the outside hell? I just

0:12:53.048 --> 0:12:56.168
<v Speaker 2>banged on the door so so hard right inside, just

0:12:56.208 --> 0:12:59.568
<v Speaker 2>screaming like what are you guys doing? It was such

0:12:59.648 --> 0:13:03.768
<v Speaker 2>a shock. I'd never expected anything like that in my life.

0:13:04.648 --> 0:13:06.288
<v Speaker 2>I was just screaming at them both, like what are

0:13:06.288 --> 0:13:09.008
<v Speaker 2>you doing? Like I had so many questions, how long

0:13:09.008 --> 0:13:12.328
<v Speaker 2>has it been going on? Like so many questions. I

0:13:12.368 --> 0:13:14.208
<v Speaker 2>was basically a mess, though, So I just ran out

0:13:14.248 --> 0:13:15.968
<v Speaker 2>of the house, ran back to my friends. We jumped

0:13:15.968 --> 0:13:17.488
<v Speaker 2>in the car and they were like, what's wrong? And

0:13:17.528 --> 0:13:19.688
<v Speaker 2>I told them and they were just as mind blown

0:13:19.728 --> 0:13:23.328
<v Speaker 2>as I was. So my mind first went to I've

0:13:23.408 --> 0:13:26.208
<v Speaker 2>just been away for nine months, out of the sear

0:13:26.448 --> 0:13:27.888
<v Speaker 2>of what has been going on? When I was ever

0:13:27.928 --> 0:13:30.808
<v Speaker 2>seas And I ran back to the to my friends

0:13:30.848 --> 0:13:33.048
<v Speaker 2>and we went out that night. Needless to say, we

0:13:33.128 --> 0:13:35.328
<v Speaker 2>had a very big night. I was just such a

0:13:35.368 --> 0:13:38.128
<v Speaker 2>mess all night, Like I was laughing about it, and

0:13:38.128 --> 0:13:39.648
<v Speaker 2>then I was crying about it. I just saw what

0:13:39.768 --> 0:13:42.768
<v Speaker 2>was happening. Didn't tell anyone else. I didn't tell any

0:13:42.848 --> 0:13:45.168
<v Speaker 2>other family or anything that night, because my sister and

0:13:45.208 --> 0:13:47.448
<v Speaker 2>I were so close for my whole life. It was

0:13:47.488 --> 0:13:52.088
<v Speaker 2>just so unexpected. I did come back to his house

0:13:52.128 --> 0:13:54.528
<v Speaker 2>the next morning. I hadn't slept all night, went out

0:13:54.528 --> 0:13:56.607
<v Speaker 2>all night, come back the next morning to his house,

0:13:56.848 --> 0:14:00.368
<v Speaker 2>and I was so angry. I went around to his house,

0:14:01.488 --> 0:14:03.528
<v Speaker 2>went into his bedroom and got a pair of scissors

0:14:03.528 --> 0:14:05.288
<v Speaker 2>and cut up all of his clothes and threw them

0:14:05.448 --> 0:14:12.168
<v Speaker 2>all over the room. That felt good. Break my heart

0:14:12.168 --> 0:14:13.568
<v Speaker 2>in half. I'll cut you close en half.

0:14:14.088 --> 0:14:17.928
<v Speaker 1>But after that fleeting moment of vindication, reality set in

0:14:18.208 --> 0:14:22.008
<v Speaker 1>and Susie was left questioning what she'd seen without any answers.

0:14:22.368 --> 0:14:24.928
<v Speaker 2>I didn't reach out to them at all. Not only

0:14:24.928 --> 0:14:27.168
<v Speaker 2>did I not want to see them together, I wanted

0:14:27.168 --> 0:14:29.728
<v Speaker 2>to hear what they had to say as to why

0:14:29.768 --> 0:14:32.088
<v Speaker 2>they were doing this, But again I didn't. It was

0:14:32.088 --> 0:14:34.328
<v Speaker 2>so hurtful. I didn't really care. Like the damage had

0:14:34.368 --> 0:14:36.728
<v Speaker 2>been done by that point, I didn't get in contact

0:14:36.728 --> 0:14:37.848
<v Speaker 2>with them at all. I thought they would get in

0:14:37.848 --> 0:14:39.728
<v Speaker 2>contact with me and at least maybe sit me down

0:14:39.768 --> 0:14:42.368
<v Speaker 2>and say that we're so sorry. Any communication would have

0:14:42.368 --> 0:14:44.248
<v Speaker 2>been good, but I just I just had nothing. I

0:14:44.448 --> 0:14:46.768
<v Speaker 2>text one of my older brothers and I was like,

0:14:46.888 --> 0:14:51.328
<v Speaker 2>you're never gonna bleeve what's happened? And I'm assuming word

0:14:51.368 --> 0:14:53.208
<v Speaker 2>just got round. I guess Mum and Dad found out.

0:14:54.328 --> 0:14:56.648
<v Speaker 2>Probably just snowboard from there, and yeah, being such a

0:14:56.648 --> 0:14:58.968
<v Speaker 2>small country town, it didn't take long for everyone to

0:14:59.008 --> 0:15:02.128
<v Speaker 2>find that out, probably the next day what had happened

0:15:02.168 --> 0:15:05.048
<v Speaker 2>the night before. They just carried on like normal, like

0:15:05.128 --> 0:15:07.848
<v Speaker 2>they were together from that night on or maybe before,

0:15:07.848 --> 0:15:10.728
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, they were just an ite. She lost

0:15:10.768 --> 0:15:14.248
<v Speaker 2>a lot of friends, especially all my friends. But again

0:15:14.328 --> 0:15:16.928
<v Speaker 2>being in a small town, yeah, she lost a lot

0:15:16.968 --> 0:15:18.848
<v Speaker 2>of respect a lot of people in the town. They

0:15:18.888 --> 0:15:20.528
<v Speaker 2>just would see them together and just think, why are

0:15:20.568 --> 0:15:22.928
<v Speaker 2>you guys together? Like they used to be your little

0:15:22.968 --> 0:15:24.368
<v Speaker 2>sister's boyfriend, and now you're together.

0:15:24.768 --> 0:15:27.688
<v Speaker 1>As words spread and with John and Susie's sister and

0:15:27.888 --> 0:15:31.688
<v Speaker 1>now openly a couple, Susie found it increasingly difficult to

0:15:31.728 --> 0:15:33.848
<v Speaker 1>live anything resembling a normal life.

0:15:35.368 --> 0:15:41.208
<v Speaker 2>I didn't hear anything from either of them for days, weeks,

0:15:41.248 --> 0:15:46.048
<v Speaker 2>possibly months. The weeks and the months after that were

0:15:46.168 --> 0:15:50.328
<v Speaker 2>really hard. I didn't view from anybody at all. It's

0:15:50.408 --> 0:15:53.848
<v Speaker 2>like I found them that night, and then they just

0:15:53.888 --> 0:15:57.248
<v Speaker 2>continued on living their merry life, doing everything that me

0:15:57.288 --> 0:15:59.688
<v Speaker 2>and him used to do with my niece and nephew.

0:16:00.088 --> 0:16:02.928
<v Speaker 2>And then no one sat me down, no one said anything,

0:16:03.488 --> 0:16:05.928
<v Speaker 2>no one mentioned a thing. It was just it was

0:16:05.928 --> 0:16:08.808
<v Speaker 2>a weird, just a weird shock. I don't know how

0:16:08.808 --> 0:16:11.048
<v Speaker 2>anybody could do that. I was in shock for like

0:16:11.128 --> 0:16:14.968
<v Speaker 2>weeks and weeks, and then I was super sad. It's

0:16:15.048 --> 0:16:16.888
<v Speaker 2>used to cry like every day when I'd see them

0:16:16.888 --> 0:16:19.768
<v Speaker 2>together or you know, pop up on Facebook. I can

0:16:19.808 --> 0:16:22.288
<v Speaker 2>to be a photo of them too. I just went

0:16:22.328 --> 0:16:27.888
<v Speaker 2>down this spiral of how could my sister, my oldest sister,

0:16:27.928 --> 0:16:30.248
<v Speaker 2>do that to me? I could never ever picture doing

0:16:30.288 --> 0:16:32.768
<v Speaker 2>that to someone, not only a sister, but so much

0:16:32.808 --> 0:16:36.168
<v Speaker 2>younger than you two, you know, fifteen years. You're such

0:16:36.168 --> 0:16:38.808
<v Speaker 2>a big age gap. Not that that matters between those two.

0:16:39.608 --> 0:16:42.208
<v Speaker 2>I just went down this downward spiral of you know,

0:16:42.248 --> 0:16:44.528
<v Speaker 2>why does he like her and not me? And yeah,

0:16:44.568 --> 0:16:47.128
<v Speaker 2>all those silly things like yeah, what's wrong with me?

0:16:47.168 --> 0:16:49.848
<v Speaker 2>And what's better about her? And compared myself a lot

0:16:49.848 --> 0:16:52.608
<v Speaker 2>with her, and just went back and forth for quite

0:16:52.608 --> 0:16:55.888
<v Speaker 2>a long time. I was depressed for so long. I

0:16:55.888 --> 0:16:57.568
<v Speaker 2>think people just you know, small town might to go

0:16:57.688 --> 0:17:00.208
<v Speaker 2>so like, oh I saw I saw them at the shop,

0:17:00.248 --> 0:17:01.608
<v Speaker 2>So I saw them at the movie. He's like, how

0:17:01.608 --> 0:17:04.768
<v Speaker 2>are you going? Get it? Be that whole like sympathy thing,

0:17:05.288 --> 0:17:08.247
<v Speaker 2>which was also hard within me. Finding them in that

0:17:08.368 --> 0:17:12.007
<v Speaker 2>first seeing them together. I don't think I saw them

0:17:12.008 --> 0:17:13.407
<v Speaker 2>at all. I think I just stayed. I went to

0:17:13.407 --> 0:17:15.848
<v Speaker 2>work and come home. I didn't go anywhere, and that

0:17:15.928 --> 0:17:17.768
<v Speaker 2>was part of the down was spiral. I just really

0:17:17.768 --> 0:17:20.088
<v Speaker 2>secluded myself. I didn't want to see them. I didn't

0:17:20.088 --> 0:17:21.768
<v Speaker 2>want to bump into them at the shops because how

0:17:21.768 --> 0:17:24.688
<v Speaker 2>awk would that be. So I think I just stayed

0:17:24.688 --> 0:17:26.928
<v Speaker 2>to myself, which was not healthy. Well.

0:17:27.008 --> 0:17:30.088
<v Speaker 1>Susie bore the brunt of Anne and John's relationship. The

0:17:30.208 --> 0:17:33.608
<v Speaker 1>ripple effect on their tight knit family was undeniable. It

0:17:33.688 --> 0:17:38.768
<v Speaker 1>created confusion, especially for Anne's children, Susie's beloved niece and nephew,

0:17:39.088 --> 0:17:40.648
<v Speaker 1>to whom she was incredibly close.

0:17:40.968 --> 0:17:43.968
<v Speaker 2>My niece was the older one, she's probably four. She's

0:17:44.008 --> 0:17:46.488
<v Speaker 2>to say, oh, you know, that was my Auntie's boyfriend

0:17:46.528 --> 0:17:49.528
<v Speaker 2>and now he's mummy's boyfriend. Very confusing for the poor kids.

0:17:50.288 --> 0:17:52.128
<v Speaker 2>And I didn't know what to say to them. My

0:17:52.208 --> 0:17:55.328
<v Speaker 2>brothers definitely rallied around me when it all happened. This

0:17:55.448 --> 0:17:57.288
<v Speaker 2>is on the youngest too. It's like I'm the baby

0:17:57.848 --> 0:18:01.008
<v Speaker 2>mom and dad was awkward for them. Mom didn't really

0:18:01.048 --> 0:18:04.608
<v Speaker 2>know where to stand, whether not that we took sides,

0:18:04.608 --> 0:18:07.488
<v Speaker 2>but I think everyone just went along with it, because like,

0:18:07.568 --> 0:18:09.168
<v Speaker 2>what else are they going to do. Either they don't

0:18:09.168 --> 0:18:12.088
<v Speaker 2>talk to her either, and then the whole family's divided,

0:18:12.408 --> 0:18:14.088
<v Speaker 2>or we will just sort of go along with it,

0:18:14.128 --> 0:18:17.928
<v Speaker 2>like to lunches and dinners and celebrations. Everyone just sort

0:18:17.928 --> 0:18:20.927
<v Speaker 2>of went along with it. My oldest brother when it

0:18:21.128 --> 0:18:24.927
<v Speaker 2>happened my birthday that year, he knew how much of

0:18:24.928 --> 0:18:26.288
<v Speaker 2>a mess I was. He took me to Barley on

0:18:26.288 --> 0:18:28.608
<v Speaker 2>a holiday, just him and I, and we had such

0:18:28.648 --> 0:18:30.848
<v Speaker 2>a good time, just the two of us, just one

0:18:30.888 --> 0:18:33.448
<v Speaker 2>on one. He he was just like, I don't know

0:18:33.488 --> 0:18:35.568
<v Speaker 2>how she could do this to you. It was so

0:18:35.648 --> 0:18:37.768
<v Speaker 2>hard for everyone to watch. They just knew how upset

0:18:37.768 --> 0:18:39.927
<v Speaker 2>I was all the time, but then they were so

0:18:40.008 --> 0:18:43.848
<v Speaker 2>happy together. It was just really, really hard. Should someone

0:18:43.888 --> 0:18:46.128
<v Speaker 2>have stepped in and said, you know, you guys need

0:18:46.168 --> 0:18:48.167
<v Speaker 2>to split up? Whatever, I guess it wasn't anyone else's

0:18:48.168 --> 0:18:50.927
<v Speaker 2>place to say, so we all just went along with it.

0:18:50.928 --> 0:18:53.088
<v Speaker 2>But it was so hard for everyone to watch.

0:18:53.408 --> 0:18:56.528
<v Speaker 1>Five months after Susie had caught her sister and John together,

0:18:56.928 --> 0:19:00.447
<v Speaker 1>and after months of silence and deliberate avoidance, their first

0:19:00.448 --> 0:19:02.888
<v Speaker 1>in person encounter came it what's meant to be the

0:19:02.888 --> 0:19:05.447
<v Speaker 1>most wonderful time of the Christmas.

0:19:05.568 --> 0:19:08.208
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't sure if they were coming or not, and

0:19:08.288 --> 0:19:11.168
<v Speaker 2>I was just in such a fragile staye in. They

0:19:11.248 --> 0:19:13.568
<v Speaker 2>walked and it was just like a big punch to

0:19:13.608 --> 0:19:16.648
<v Speaker 2>the face, like this is still happening. And I was

0:19:16.688 --> 0:19:19.568
<v Speaker 2>just like, Oh, here we go. And they sat down

0:19:19.648 --> 0:19:21.208
<v Speaker 2>and then I think someone asked them, what do you

0:19:21.208 --> 0:19:23.247
<v Speaker 2>guys been up to? And I was at the other

0:19:23.328 --> 0:19:25.168
<v Speaker 2>end of the table, and they said, oh, yeah, we've

0:19:25.248 --> 0:19:27.328
<v Speaker 2>just got back from a holiday. I think they went

0:19:27.328 --> 0:19:29.727
<v Speaker 2>to Bali, you know, took the kids and they had

0:19:29.728 --> 0:19:31.848
<v Speaker 2>a great time, and it was like so amazing. The

0:19:31.888 --> 0:19:35.088
<v Speaker 2>kids had such a fun time, and I just just

0:19:35.088 --> 0:19:37.728
<v Speaker 2>sat there and started balling. I was like that should

0:19:37.728 --> 0:19:40.888
<v Speaker 2>be me. But yeah. Then I just got up and

0:19:41.008 --> 0:19:44.088
<v Speaker 2>left and drove home. I just couldn't handle hearing there.

0:19:44.488 --> 0:19:46.328
<v Speaker 2>I just couldn't sit there and be fake. I just

0:19:46.368 --> 0:19:48.728
<v Speaker 2>hearing their story was I was just like, I can't

0:19:48.728 --> 0:19:52.728
<v Speaker 2>do this. It really felt like a slip in the face.

0:19:53.128 --> 0:19:56.407
<v Speaker 2>Everything they said either him and I had been there

0:19:56.608 --> 0:19:59.728
<v Speaker 2>before or we were planning to go there. They just

0:19:59.768 --> 0:20:02.368
<v Speaker 2>acted so normal, like, hey, everyone, merry Christmas, and I

0:20:02.408 --> 0:20:05.488
<v Speaker 2>was just like, what on earth is happening with me

0:20:05.488 --> 0:20:07.688
<v Speaker 2>in my life? Just couldn't believe that I was sitting

0:20:07.728 --> 0:20:11.407
<v Speaker 2>there looking across the table them to just chatting happily,

0:20:11.448 --> 0:20:13.407
<v Speaker 2>and they were just they were just loving life, and

0:20:13.408 --> 0:20:16.407
<v Speaker 2>I was just miserable. I was so surprised. I was

0:20:16.448 --> 0:20:19.048
<v Speaker 2>completely blindsided. I had no idea they were going to

0:20:19.088 --> 0:20:22.448
<v Speaker 2>turn up. No one warned me, probably because I didn't

0:20:22.448 --> 0:20:24.927
<v Speaker 2>know how to warm me, I suppose. I think probably

0:20:24.928 --> 0:20:27.568
<v Speaker 2>ten seconds into the conversation, I just burst into tears,

0:20:27.568 --> 0:20:30.248
<v Speaker 2>and it was quite obvious at the table. Everyone was

0:20:30.248 --> 0:20:32.648
<v Speaker 2>looking at me like hmmm. No one really knew what

0:20:32.648 --> 0:20:34.128
<v Speaker 2>to do, a way to look, and so I just

0:20:34.128 --> 0:20:35.848
<v Speaker 2>got up and walked out. I just thought, I can't

0:20:35.888 --> 0:20:38.648
<v Speaker 2>be here. Christmas is ruined. I just drove home and

0:20:38.648 --> 0:20:41.608
<v Speaker 2>just cried the whole way home. Basically, I think that

0:20:41.688 --> 0:20:43.048
<v Speaker 2>was at that point I was I can even have

0:20:43.048 --> 0:20:47.488
<v Speaker 2>some boundaries. It's upsetting me naturally too much, and I

0:20:47.568 --> 0:20:50.248
<v Speaker 2>just need to stop going to these events or get

0:20:50.248 --> 0:20:51.888
<v Speaker 2>them to not come because I just simply can't. I

0:20:51.888 --> 0:20:54.967
<v Speaker 2>can't handle it. So yeah, I just put some boundaries up.

0:20:54.968 --> 0:20:57.528
<v Speaker 2>At that point, I just completely wiped him, like I

0:20:57.568 --> 0:21:00.728
<v Speaker 2>just thought he was the biggest piece of shit. I

0:21:00.768 --> 0:21:02.568
<v Speaker 2>was just so angry at her because she's family, but

0:21:02.728 --> 0:21:05.008
<v Speaker 2>him I didn't really care about, so I thought, well,

0:21:05.648 --> 0:21:08.407
<v Speaker 2>he's just another ex now, But yeah, I was her.

0:21:08.528 --> 0:21:11.048
<v Speaker 2>I was really really angry, you upset at I just

0:21:11.768 --> 0:21:13.368
<v Speaker 2>kept playing around in my head like who does that

0:21:13.408 --> 0:21:16.448
<v Speaker 2>to their baby sister. I definitely fast tracked that breakup

0:21:17.648 --> 0:21:19.528
<v Speaker 2>is for sure. We could have got back together. We

0:21:19.528 --> 0:21:21.008
<v Speaker 2>could have then breaken up again, and I could have

0:21:21.008 --> 0:21:24.488
<v Speaker 2>been sad for another year. But this definitely fast tracked it.

0:21:24.608 --> 0:21:27.528
<v Speaker 2>The dialogue between John and I when he was with

0:21:27.528 --> 0:21:30.008
<v Speaker 2>my sister and when we'd see each other, he wouldn't

0:21:30.048 --> 0:21:31.968
<v Speaker 2>look at me. It's just like, deep down he knew

0:21:32.008 --> 0:21:34.128
<v Speaker 2>what he was doing was wrong. It was like I

0:21:34.208 --> 0:21:36.727
<v Speaker 2>like I never existed, Like the two years we had

0:21:36.768 --> 0:21:39.167
<v Speaker 2>together was just nothing, and now he's with her and

0:21:39.168 --> 0:21:40.528
<v Speaker 2>we'd see each other, he wouldn't even look at me

0:21:40.568 --> 0:21:42.968
<v Speaker 2>in the face. It's like it was just a real

0:21:43.128 --> 0:21:46.728
<v Speaker 2>Like what we had wasn't even real. After that Christmas,

0:21:47.088 --> 0:21:49.007
<v Speaker 2>I think I might have got off social media as well,

0:21:49.048 --> 0:21:53.248
<v Speaker 2>because I couldn't handle just seeing the happy photos and

0:21:53.288 --> 0:21:56.288
<v Speaker 2>everyone hanging out and being lovey dovey. Yeah, I really

0:21:56.928 --> 0:22:00.768
<v Speaker 2>just secluded myself. I know, they went on multiple overseas holidays.

0:22:00.768 --> 0:22:02.927
<v Speaker 2>It's basically just everything that me and him were going

0:22:03.008 --> 0:22:05.008
<v Speaker 2>to do and that we wanted to do, they did instead.

0:22:05.448 --> 0:22:07.368
<v Speaker 2>It really hurt with my niece and nephew got involved.

0:22:07.408 --> 0:22:10.288
<v Speaker 2>Like not only was it super confusing them because I

0:22:10.328 --> 0:22:12.608
<v Speaker 2>was so young, but then they were having fun as

0:22:12.608 --> 0:22:15.768
<v Speaker 2>a family, like I used to babysit them, and like

0:22:15.808 --> 0:22:17.248
<v Speaker 2>me and him used to babysit them, and it was

0:22:17.288 --> 0:22:19.608
<v Speaker 2>us four, and all of a sudden, it was them four,

0:22:19.608 --> 0:22:20.768
<v Speaker 2>and I was like on the outer.

0:22:25.408 --> 0:22:28.168
<v Speaker 1>It had been the most traumatic year of Susie's life.

0:22:28.328 --> 0:22:31.288
<v Speaker 1>She hadn't just lost her boyfriend, she lost her sister,

0:22:31.488 --> 0:22:33.448
<v Speaker 1>her best friend in the bond with her niece and

0:22:33.528 --> 0:22:37.648
<v Speaker 1>nephew that meant everything. Heartbroken, she knew she couldn't stay,

0:22:37.968 --> 0:22:41.128
<v Speaker 1>so she left for the city, desperate to escape the pain,

0:22:41.648 --> 0:22:43.208
<v Speaker 1>and it was here that she met Dave.

0:22:44.848 --> 0:22:47.128
<v Speaker 2>It was love at first sight, like when we locked

0:22:47.128 --> 0:22:50.528
<v Speaker 2>eyes has done so like Cheezy, it locked eyes across

0:22:50.568 --> 0:22:53.488
<v Speaker 2>the bar. I was just like, yeah, I like love him.

0:22:53.648 --> 0:22:55.528
<v Speaker 2>It's just the weirdest feeling. And I had my best

0:22:55.528 --> 0:22:56.968
<v Speaker 2>friend was there at the time, and I said to her,

0:22:57.528 --> 0:22:59.688
<v Speaker 2>that's my few jar husband. I approached him at the bar.

0:22:59.768 --> 0:23:04.608
<v Speaker 2>He is super shy and doesn't like situations like big

0:23:04.608 --> 0:23:07.008
<v Speaker 2>groups of people, so I approached him. We just got talking.

0:23:07.248 --> 0:23:11.368
<v Speaker 2>I got his number, and he's very anti social media,

0:23:11.488 --> 0:23:14.488
<v Speaker 2>so I couldn't stalk him on Facebook unfortunately. Yeah, just

0:23:14.488 --> 0:23:16.448
<v Speaker 2>text him the next day and we just started hanging out.

0:23:16.488 --> 0:23:19.008
<v Speaker 2>And our first day, he took me out to a

0:23:19.048 --> 0:23:21.648
<v Speaker 2>really fancy restaurant in the city. It was so beautiful,

0:23:21.728 --> 0:23:23.687
<v Speaker 2>was like nothing had ever been on before. And I

0:23:23.688 --> 0:23:25.288
<v Speaker 2>feel like the more dates I went on with him

0:23:25.328 --> 0:23:28.128
<v Speaker 2>and the long girls with him, he definitely healed me

0:23:28.208 --> 0:23:31.368
<v Speaker 2>in a sense. Just I felt so safe, like you

0:23:31.368 --> 0:23:33.728
<v Speaker 2>feel like he saved me, which is also such a

0:23:33.808 --> 0:23:36.447
<v Speaker 2>dark place. It was such a dark place when I

0:23:36.488 --> 0:23:38.688
<v Speaker 2>met him, and obviously I told him everything that happened.

0:23:39.368 --> 0:23:42.288
<v Speaker 2>I think, right place, right time, right person. It was

0:23:42.328 --> 0:23:44.167
<v Speaker 2>just meant to be. There's the only way to describe that.

0:23:44.248 --> 0:23:46.288
<v Speaker 2>It's just when I met him, spent time with him,

0:23:46.328 --> 0:23:49.488
<v Speaker 2>I just knew that that was my actual forever. Everything

0:23:49.608 --> 0:23:53.328
<v Speaker 2>just felt more in line once I met him. It's

0:23:53.408 --> 0:23:56.488
<v Speaker 2>like nothing before him really mattered. Then it was just

0:23:56.528 --> 0:24:00.128
<v Speaker 2>everything I thought with my ex. I just thought everything

0:24:00.128 --> 0:24:01.687
<v Speaker 2>I had with him was so amazing. Well, this is

0:24:01.688 --> 0:24:05.248
<v Speaker 2>like another level of amazing. He just yeah, his next

0:24:05.328 --> 0:24:07.568
<v Speaker 2>level amazing And I don't need to dwell on the

0:24:07.568 --> 0:24:09.728
<v Speaker 2>past because everything with him is perfect.

0:24:10.448 --> 0:24:13.568
<v Speaker 1>And it seemed back home everything was just as perfect

0:24:13.648 --> 0:24:14.848
<v Speaker 1>with Anne and John.

0:24:14.848 --> 0:24:17.768
<v Speaker 2>So Mum bless her. I was always trying to get

0:24:17.848 --> 0:24:20.248
<v Speaker 2>my sister and I back together, just on like a

0:24:20.248 --> 0:24:23.448
<v Speaker 2>social level so it wasn't as awkward at family events,

0:24:23.728 --> 0:24:27.328
<v Speaker 2>and so she invited me to lunch with my sister

0:24:27.408 --> 0:24:29.328
<v Speaker 2>and my niece, and I thought, yeah, I'll go along.

0:24:30.288 --> 0:24:32.888
<v Speaker 2>And then soon as we sat down at the cafe,

0:24:33.288 --> 0:24:36.407
<v Speaker 2>my niece turned to me and said, Mom's got to

0:24:36.648 --> 0:24:39.248
<v Speaker 2>ring on her finger, and I just obviously knew exactly

0:24:39.328 --> 0:24:42.608
<v Speaker 2>what that meant. My whole body was like, oh, I

0:24:42.648 --> 0:24:44.128
<v Speaker 2>just felt so sick, and like I think I went

0:24:44.168 --> 0:24:47.048
<v Speaker 2>probably went really pale, and then it was out there

0:24:47.088 --> 0:24:48.688
<v Speaker 2>then so then she put her hand on the table

0:24:48.728 --> 0:24:51.207
<v Speaker 2>and said, yeah, like John and I are engaged, and

0:24:51.208 --> 0:24:55.568
<v Speaker 2>I just burst into tears, like this is beyond ridiculous.

0:24:56.288 --> 0:24:59.208
<v Speaker 2>And then a small cafe, I think everyone was looking

0:24:59.248 --> 0:25:01.608
<v Speaker 2>at me, and so I just got up, walked outside

0:25:01.648 --> 0:25:03.568
<v Speaker 2>and that just could not stop sobbing. I just like

0:25:03.968 --> 0:25:06.088
<v Speaker 2>walking down the street. I think Mum might have come

0:25:06.128 --> 0:25:07.448
<v Speaker 2>after me and was like, you know, it's okay, blah

0:25:07.448 --> 0:25:09.568
<v Speaker 2>blah blah. I was like, it's not okay. Mom was

0:25:09.568 --> 0:25:11.768
<v Speaker 2>trying get us all back together. I don't even think

0:25:11.768 --> 0:25:13.208
<v Speaker 2>I went back to lunch. I think I just went home.

0:25:13.288 --> 0:25:15.167
<v Speaker 2>I was just like, this can't be happening. It was

0:25:15.288 --> 0:25:16.088
<v Speaker 2>just so painful.

0:25:16.408 --> 0:25:19.288
<v Speaker 1>But not long after, Susie had some exciting years of

0:25:19.328 --> 0:25:19.688
<v Speaker 1>her own.

0:25:20.008 --> 0:25:24.528
<v Speaker 2>About six months after that, I got engaged will only

0:25:24.608 --> 0:25:27.368
<v Speaker 2>together for a year. When my husband proposed and we

0:25:27.448 --> 0:25:29.328
<v Speaker 2>backed the same restaurant. They took me out for the

0:25:29.368 --> 0:25:32.207
<v Speaker 2>first date and I had no idea it was going

0:25:32.248 --> 0:25:33.808
<v Speaker 2>to happen. We just sat down at dinner and he

0:25:33.848 --> 0:25:35.848
<v Speaker 2>just pulled out a ring and I was like so shocked,

0:25:36.528 --> 0:25:38.288
<v Speaker 2>and he just he had this big speel. But at

0:25:38.288 --> 0:25:40.448
<v Speaker 2>the time I was just like, I guess it's blacked

0:25:40.448 --> 0:25:42.488
<v Speaker 2>out for a minute. And at the end he said,

0:25:42.688 --> 0:25:44.048
<v Speaker 2>will you be my wife? And I was like, oh

0:25:44.088 --> 0:25:46.407
<v Speaker 2>my god. Yes. So I had a big engagement party

0:25:46.448 --> 0:25:51.208
<v Speaker 2>and they both came, and every family event or celebration

0:25:51.368 --> 0:25:54.407
<v Speaker 2>was just so awkward. And then when my husband and

0:25:54.408 --> 0:25:56.768
<v Speaker 2>I got married, I thought I'd be the bigger person

0:25:57.488 --> 0:26:00.528
<v Speaker 2>and invite the both of them. I was still together.

0:26:01.408 --> 0:26:03.008
<v Speaker 2>I just thought, I've just got to for the sake

0:26:03.048 --> 0:26:05.167
<v Speaker 2>of the family, I'll just invite him, you know. And

0:26:05.208 --> 0:26:07.328
<v Speaker 2>then the wedding rolls around and she didn't even bring him.

0:26:07.688 --> 0:26:09.848
<v Speaker 2>She told me that she didn't want her sister walk

0:26:09.928 --> 0:26:12.207
<v Speaker 2>down the aisle and seeing her ex in the crowd,

0:26:12.968 --> 0:26:14.368
<v Speaker 2>And to me, I'm like, well, isn't that a sign

0:26:14.368 --> 0:26:17.128
<v Speaker 2>that you shouldn't be together? You know, based on what

0:26:17.208 --> 0:26:19.248
<v Speaker 2>had happened leading up to the wedding, I just thought

0:26:19.248 --> 0:26:21.008
<v Speaker 2>she would have brought him along like every other event,

0:26:21.768 --> 0:26:23.488
<v Speaker 2>And maybe that was a turning point for her, maybe

0:26:23.528 --> 0:26:26.768
<v Speaker 2>thinking maybe she thought, why am I still with him

0:26:26.768 --> 0:26:29.448
<v Speaker 2>if I feel awkward bringing him to bigger fans like this,

0:26:30.368 --> 0:26:32.088
<v Speaker 2>Maybe she thought they should be together at that point.

0:26:32.088 --> 0:26:34.088
<v Speaker 2>Because for her to say that was I was a

0:26:34.128 --> 0:26:35.407
<v Speaker 2>bit shocked. I was like, oh, you've brought him to

0:26:35.408 --> 0:26:38.048
<v Speaker 2>every other event, but and I did. At that point,

0:26:38.088 --> 0:26:39.848
<v Speaker 2>I didn't care walking down the aisle seeing him in

0:26:39.848 --> 0:26:41.608
<v Speaker 2>the crowd. That didn't bother me. I was so passed

0:26:41.608 --> 0:26:43.207
<v Speaker 2>her by that point. It really wouldn't have bothered me,

0:26:43.248 --> 0:26:45.408
<v Speaker 2>but the fact she didn't bring him to the wedding

0:26:45.488 --> 0:26:47.288
<v Speaker 2>maybe she thought this is wrong.

0:26:47.768 --> 0:26:51.008
<v Speaker 1>Life went on, Susie was happily married and Anne was

0:26:51.088 --> 0:26:53.888
<v Speaker 1>engaged to John until one day.

0:26:54.128 --> 0:26:55.968
<v Speaker 2>So I was on the phone to Mum one night.

0:26:56.408 --> 0:26:58.928
<v Speaker 2>It must have been about three years they've been together

0:26:58.968 --> 0:27:02.208
<v Speaker 2>at this point. I think, well, just chatting, chatting away,

0:27:02.248 --> 0:27:03.727
<v Speaker 2>I think, and then just Mum just dropped it in

0:27:03.768 --> 0:27:06.688
<v Speaker 2>there that they had split up. I think Mum did that,

0:27:07.768 --> 0:27:10.888
<v Speaker 2>so it wasn't such a big shock to me, and

0:27:10.928 --> 0:27:12.888
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, hang on, but go back and

0:27:12.888 --> 0:27:14.608
<v Speaker 2>tell me more. And she just said they've broken up.

0:27:15.248 --> 0:27:19.568
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't relieved, I wasn't surprised. I felt nothing. Actually

0:27:19.568 --> 0:27:22.008
<v Speaker 2>felt a little bit sad because then I knew, because

0:27:22.008 --> 0:27:23.608
<v Speaker 2>he was such a great guy, I knew that when

0:27:23.648 --> 0:27:25.488
<v Speaker 2>they broke up, she would then be going through what

0:27:25.568 --> 0:27:27.648
<v Speaker 2>I went through. So I felt a little bit sad

0:27:27.648 --> 0:27:30.288
<v Speaker 2>for her, but not really. I think I was so

0:27:30.408 --> 0:27:32.808
<v Speaker 2>happy with my now husband. I just didn't care. I

0:27:32.848 --> 0:27:34.848
<v Speaker 2>didn't care what they were doing. I didn't care where

0:27:34.848 --> 0:27:36.207
<v Speaker 2>they were or what they were up to. When they

0:27:36.208 --> 0:27:38.128
<v Speaker 2>broke up, I was like, oh, yeah, it just it

0:27:38.128 --> 0:27:41.088
<v Speaker 2>didn't bother me. I think that's probably like a lot

0:27:41.088 --> 0:27:42.568
<v Speaker 2>of the reason why I'm so thankful I met mind

0:27:42.568 --> 0:27:46.128
<v Speaker 2>our husband, because nothing in the past mattered. Then when

0:27:46.128 --> 0:27:48.848
<v Speaker 2>they broke up, I thought, all right, sucks for her,

0:27:50.088 --> 0:27:52.368
<v Speaker 2>and the wedding obviously never went ahead. They broke up before.

0:27:53.688 --> 0:27:55.408
<v Speaker 2>I'm not even sure if they had plans to actually

0:27:55.448 --> 0:27:57.288
<v Speaker 2>go through with the wedding. I mean, who would turn up.

0:27:57.288 --> 0:28:00.927
<v Speaker 1>Right after three years together. Anne and John's break up

0:28:00.968 --> 0:28:04.648
<v Speaker 1>barely stirred conversation within the family. In fact, it brought

0:28:04.648 --> 0:28:07.368
<v Speaker 1>a sense of relief, as though the strain of managing

0:28:07.448 --> 0:28:11.407
<v Speaker 1>family dynamics had finally reached its peace, then lifted. The

0:28:11.448 --> 0:28:14.568
<v Speaker 1>awkwardness was gone and with any need to ever speak

0:28:14.568 --> 0:28:15.167
<v Speaker 1>of it again.

0:28:15.688 --> 0:28:18.167
<v Speaker 2>Yes, Mom and Dad are the piece keepers, that is

0:28:18.208 --> 0:28:21.728
<v Speaker 2>for sure. I think once I'd split, everyone just looked

0:28:21.728 --> 0:28:25.128
<v Speaker 2>at it and thought that was a big mistake. Let's

0:28:25.168 --> 0:28:28.448
<v Speaker 2>just all move on. No point sort of rehashing it,

0:28:29.088 --> 0:28:31.927
<v Speaker 2>because once I split everyone he wasn't spoken about it again,

0:28:32.688 --> 0:28:34.487
<v Speaker 2>not to me or not to anyone that I know.

0:28:34.928 --> 0:28:36.687
<v Speaker 2>Everyone sort of just moved on. It was just a

0:28:36.728 --> 0:28:40.808
<v Speaker 2>really weird space in time, a couple of weird years

0:28:40.848 --> 0:28:43.528
<v Speaker 2>that no one brings up again. It was just like

0:28:44.048 --> 0:28:46.328
<v Speaker 2>that happened, and that was weird, Like my niece and

0:28:46.368 --> 0:28:48.448
<v Speaker 2>nephew haven't never bought it up. My mom and dad

0:28:48.448 --> 0:28:50.168
<v Speaker 2>never brought it up. It was just like that happened,

0:28:50.168 --> 0:28:52.888
<v Speaker 2>and now that's gone, and then let's just get over that,

0:28:52.888 --> 0:28:54.048
<v Speaker 2>because that was really strange.

0:28:54.288 --> 0:28:56.928
<v Speaker 1>As for a reconciliation with her sister Anne.

0:28:57.048 --> 0:29:00.008
<v Speaker 2>So our relationship before this all went down was just

0:29:00.048 --> 0:29:02.928
<v Speaker 2>like any other sister. So when I was away for

0:29:03.048 --> 0:29:06.528
<v Speaker 2>nine months, she'd send me constant photos of the kids.

0:29:06.568 --> 0:29:10.048
<v Speaker 2>I'd babysits, my niece and nephew. We were so so close.

0:29:10.088 --> 0:29:13.088
<v Speaker 2>We're just a close knit family all round. And that's

0:29:13.088 --> 0:29:14.928
<v Speaker 2>probably why it was such a shock, because I just thought,

0:29:15.008 --> 0:29:18.568
<v Speaker 2>where where is this come from? We were just like

0:29:18.608 --> 0:29:25.408
<v Speaker 2>any others is just yeah, close best friends. Yeah, probably

0:29:25.448 --> 0:29:29.008
<v Speaker 2>plays a big part in why it was so such

0:29:29.048 --> 0:29:31.528
<v Speaker 2>a shock, And so I guess in a way, I

0:29:31.568 --> 0:29:34.248
<v Speaker 2>lost him, But then I also lost her as well

0:29:34.248 --> 0:29:37.168
<v Speaker 2>because I could never especially with no apology, I could

0:29:37.208 --> 0:29:39.408
<v Speaker 2>never go back and be friends with her again. So

0:29:39.448 --> 0:29:40.888
<v Speaker 2>it was like a double whammy. I lost him and

0:29:40.928 --> 0:29:45.208
<v Speaker 2>I also lost her. That was really hard to deal

0:29:45.208 --> 0:29:48.608
<v Speaker 2>with as well, just one big loss. She's a great person,

0:29:49.048 --> 0:29:54.728
<v Speaker 2>very funny, lighthearder, just wants to have fun, always having

0:29:54.768 --> 0:29:58.328
<v Speaker 2>fun with the kids, always dancing, laughing, singing. Just yeah,

0:29:58.368 --> 0:30:01.608
<v Speaker 2>I think that's probably why me and her are so similar.

0:30:01.648 --> 0:30:04.008
<v Speaker 2>That's clearly why I guess he fell in love with

0:30:04.008 --> 0:30:06.808
<v Speaker 2>her too. We're just, yeah, very similar because we're sisters.

0:30:07.808 --> 0:30:08.928
<v Speaker 2>You know, I do miss her a lot. I do

0:30:08.968 --> 0:30:11.688
<v Speaker 2>miss our fun times together back then, before this all happened,

0:30:12.448 --> 0:30:14.648
<v Speaker 2>We've spoken on and off over the years, just like

0:30:15.008 --> 0:30:16.488
<v Speaker 2>when it's to do with the kids or when it's

0:30:16.488 --> 0:30:19.768
<v Speaker 2>a birthday or something. Then we went through stages where

0:30:19.808 --> 0:30:23.128
<v Speaker 2>we were friends, but it was just I guess I

0:30:23.208 --> 0:30:26.488
<v Speaker 2>was like fake in obaby because the hurt. It was

0:30:26.528 --> 0:30:29.688
<v Speaker 2>just next level. Now we're not too bad. I would

0:30:29.768 --> 0:30:31.848
<v Speaker 2>just text back and forth for a birthday or something.

0:30:31.888 --> 0:30:35.408
<v Speaker 2>But it never has been the same and it never

0:30:35.408 --> 0:30:40.768
<v Speaker 2>will be the same. She's never even properly apologized. She

0:30:40.888 --> 0:30:42.688
<v Speaker 2>never sat me down and was like, she just never

0:30:42.688 --> 0:30:44.448
<v Speaker 2>sat me down and said she's so sorry for what

0:30:44.488 --> 0:30:47.848
<v Speaker 2>she did with Suret's And I think, you know, a

0:30:47.928 --> 0:30:50.088
<v Speaker 2>year or two up it happened that even then that's

0:30:50.088 --> 0:30:53.408
<v Speaker 2>too little, too lay. So I think I've just had

0:30:53.448 --> 0:30:56.248
<v Speaker 2>so much hurt that I just I'm at the point

0:30:56.288 --> 0:30:58.368
<v Speaker 2>now where I'm fine, like I'm over it. But it's

0:30:58.408 --> 0:31:01.128
<v Speaker 2>the words when I think about it, that was the

0:31:01.168 --> 0:31:04.608
<v Speaker 2>downward spiral. It was just a really tough probably a

0:31:04.648 --> 0:31:08.448
<v Speaker 2>year after it happened to this day of seventeen years

0:31:08.488 --> 0:31:11.208
<v Speaker 2>later or whatever it is, it's just no apology still.

0:31:11.248 --> 0:31:14.408
<v Speaker 2>So I'm fine with it now, but that took a

0:31:14.408 --> 0:31:15.968
<v Speaker 2>long time to get over to, maybe like five or

0:31:16.008 --> 0:31:18.648
<v Speaker 2>six years, to get past the fact that I haven't heard

0:31:18.648 --> 0:31:21.368
<v Speaker 2>from anybody. I do miss her and wish things were different,

0:31:22.208 --> 0:31:26.088
<v Speaker 2>but unfortunately that's just yeah, I wish. I just wish

0:31:26.128 --> 0:31:28.568
<v Speaker 2>I had an apology. Maybe might have been easier to

0:31:28.608 --> 0:31:31.408
<v Speaker 2>get past, quicker to get past, but the fact that

0:31:31.448 --> 0:31:34.528
<v Speaker 2>no one ever apologized or said anything to me just

0:31:34.568 --> 0:31:37.808
<v Speaker 2>made it ten times harder. Well, about a year and

0:31:37.848 --> 0:31:42.088
<v Speaker 2>a half ago, our mom died suddenly and we had

0:31:42.128 --> 0:31:45.648
<v Speaker 2>to come together for that, which was hard in many ways.

0:31:46.208 --> 0:31:47.848
<v Speaker 2>But she did say to me, look, I'd love to

0:31:48.888 --> 0:31:50.648
<v Speaker 2>I'd love to be your sister again. I'd love to

0:31:50.688 --> 0:31:53.928
<v Speaker 2>let you know, get back together. Because her son, my nephew,

0:31:53.968 --> 0:31:56.248
<v Speaker 2>lives with my husband and I she does want to

0:31:56.248 --> 0:31:59.448
<v Speaker 2>get back together, like just even just on a more

0:31:59.448 --> 0:32:01.728
<v Speaker 2>communication level. But I just text back and said, I

0:32:01.768 --> 0:32:05.488
<v Speaker 2>just can't do that. It just hurts me too much

0:32:05.848 --> 0:32:07.368
<v Speaker 2>to think what you've put me through when I was

0:32:07.408 --> 0:32:10.328
<v Speaker 2>so young. I just can't get past that. And maybe

0:32:10.328 --> 0:32:14.368
<v Speaker 2>if there was an apology, maybe i'd be better, but yeah,

0:32:14.408 --> 0:32:16.648
<v Speaker 2>I just can't get past it. So she's tried, but

0:32:16.648 --> 0:32:18.968
<v Speaker 2>I have been talking sixteen years later. It's just far

0:32:19.008 --> 0:32:21.528
<v Speaker 2>too late. Now she's tried, but I just I can't.

0:32:21.768 --> 0:32:22.568
<v Speaker 2>I just can't do it.

0:32:22.888 --> 0:32:26.168
<v Speaker 1>And John, well, he's well and truly ancient history.

0:32:26.488 --> 0:32:28.848
<v Speaker 2>He popped up on my Facebook as people you may know.

0:32:29.368 --> 0:32:31.688
<v Speaker 2>Because it's been so long, it's been sixteen years. I

0:32:31.688 --> 0:32:33.768
<v Speaker 2>thought maybe we could just be adult friends on Facebook.

0:32:34.048 --> 0:32:37.448
<v Speaker 2>So I added him as a friend and he's now wife.

0:32:37.488 --> 0:32:40.088
<v Speaker 2>So he's now married with two kids. His now wife

0:32:40.208 --> 0:32:43.128
<v Speaker 2>sent me a message straight away on Facebook saying clear

0:32:43.168 --> 0:32:46.728
<v Speaker 2>stay away from him. And I thought, he has clearly

0:32:46.888 --> 0:32:49.088
<v Speaker 2>told her things about what's happened in the past. How

0:32:49.128 --> 0:32:52.008
<v Speaker 2>does she even know who I am? That was weird too.

0:32:52.288 --> 0:32:53.728
<v Speaker 2>I just thought you didn't know who I am, Like

0:32:53.728 --> 0:32:56.728
<v Speaker 2>I've done nothing wrong again, I just yeah, deleted the

0:32:56.728 --> 0:32:59.328
<v Speaker 2>friend requests and thought, nah, never ever going there again.

0:32:59.968 --> 0:33:02.968
<v Speaker 2>I do wonder, like when I added him on Facebook

0:33:02.968 --> 0:33:04.848
<v Speaker 2>and his now wife messaged me that, I thought, I

0:33:04.888 --> 0:33:08.608
<v Speaker 2>wonder what he's told her, what he's telling people, what happened.

0:33:08.608 --> 0:33:11.928
<v Speaker 2>Maybe he's told everyone that I'm the bad person and

0:33:11.928 --> 0:33:15.568
<v Speaker 2>that's why we split. I don't know, because surely the

0:33:15.568 --> 0:33:18.048
<v Speaker 2>average person would regret that, right, But I don't know.

0:33:19.408 --> 0:33:21.488
<v Speaker 2>Maybe some people do things like that and don't regret

0:33:21.488 --> 0:33:23.608
<v Speaker 2>it at all. I'd like to think he regrets it

0:33:23.648 --> 0:33:26.968
<v Speaker 2>and has some remorse, but certainly haven't heard anything.

0:33:27.448 --> 0:33:31.648
<v Speaker 1>Sixteen years after the shock and heartbreak, Susie still doesn't

0:33:31.688 --> 0:33:35.168
<v Speaker 1>truly know when or how it all happened, nor received

0:33:35.168 --> 0:33:38.168
<v Speaker 1>an apology, and while the hurt has never fully faded,

0:33:38.368 --> 0:33:41.568
<v Speaker 1>her journey has also been marked with plenty of silver linings.

0:33:41.768 --> 0:33:43.768
<v Speaker 2>And never got to the answers to those questions. And

0:33:43.808 --> 0:33:45.968
<v Speaker 2>I don't think. I don't think I want to know.

0:33:46.048 --> 0:33:48.608
<v Speaker 2>I never asked, so I guess I'm too scared of

0:33:48.648 --> 0:33:50.448
<v Speaker 2>the answer. What if they were together for those nine

0:33:50.488 --> 0:33:52.688
<v Speaker 2>months when I was away, that would just be another

0:33:52.728 --> 0:33:55.208
<v Speaker 2>devastating blow. I think if I got an apology today,

0:33:55.448 --> 0:33:58.368
<v Speaker 2>it was just it's just far too long gone. Maybe

0:33:58.408 --> 0:34:00.008
<v Speaker 2>a year after I would have been like, okay, but

0:34:00.768 --> 0:34:04.128
<v Speaker 2>maybe two years. But yeah, after ten fifteen years, I

0:34:04.208 --> 0:34:07.648
<v Speaker 2>just think I think she clearly doesn't care. Any normal

0:34:07.648 --> 0:34:11.128
<v Speaker 2>person would apologize. I would have thought, so, yeah, it's

0:34:11.208 --> 0:34:12.848
<v Speaker 2>far too long. Now it is a shame because I

0:34:12.888 --> 0:34:14.888
<v Speaker 2>do miss her. Probably the worst thing out of all

0:34:14.888 --> 0:34:18.607
<v Speaker 2>of it is that my sister had two kids. It's

0:34:18.648 --> 0:34:20.768
<v Speaker 2>sad when I think about it. My niece and nephew.

0:34:21.768 --> 0:34:22.728
<v Speaker 2>I missed them so much.

0:34:22.728 --> 0:34:25.928
<v Speaker 3>I didn't see them for like, well three years they

0:34:25.928 --> 0:34:27.567
<v Speaker 3>were only young, or like one and four.

0:34:28.368 --> 0:34:30.127
<v Speaker 2>I didn't see my niece is nephew for so long.

0:34:31.008 --> 0:34:32.047
<v Speaker 2>That's probably that's part.

0:34:32.128 --> 0:34:33.768
<v Speaker 3>Now I look back, it's just not being able to

0:34:33.808 --> 0:34:35.288
<v Speaker 3>see them because I wouldn't never go to their house

0:34:35.288 --> 0:34:37.928
<v Speaker 3>because it was just horrible. Like now I look back

0:34:37.928 --> 0:34:40.728
<v Speaker 3>between him and her. I'm over that, but I'm not

0:34:40.808 --> 0:34:42.488
<v Speaker 3>over the fact that I missed out so much time

0:34:42.488 --> 0:34:45.488
<v Speaker 3>with them. I miss years with them, and that still

0:34:45.528 --> 0:34:49.527
<v Speaker 3>hurts now. I've definitely grown since this all happened, that's

0:34:49.568 --> 0:34:53.647
<v Speaker 3>for sure. It's character building it in a sense. I've

0:34:53.648 --> 0:34:55.408
<v Speaker 3>been through a lot of hard times.

0:34:55.408 --> 0:34:58.288
<v Speaker 2>That my older brother died in twenty seventeen suddenly, and

0:34:58.288 --> 0:35:01.848
<v Speaker 2>then losing mum. It's been like like I'm on in

0:35:01.928 --> 0:35:03.768
<v Speaker 2>my early thirties, but it's just been like one thing

0:35:03.768 --> 0:35:06.328
<v Speaker 2>after another. And I'm just hoping that the next few

0:35:06.408 --> 0:35:09.248
<v Speaker 2>years are next five or ten years just smith sailing,

0:35:09.288 --> 0:35:12.408
<v Speaker 2>that's for sure. The last ten years has been super,

0:35:12.408 --> 0:35:15.687
<v Speaker 2>super tough. But again, my now husband and the two kids,

0:35:15.688 --> 0:35:18.888
<v Speaker 2>they keep me very busy. So I feel like sometimes

0:35:19.408 --> 0:35:21.607
<v Speaker 2>like I haven't thought about this story or him for

0:35:21.648 --> 0:35:24.087
<v Speaker 2>so long because I've just been so busy, especially with

0:35:24.128 --> 0:35:26.248
<v Speaker 2>the kids. I think that's good. I think if you're

0:35:26.248 --> 0:35:30.087
<v Speaker 2>going through something tough, keeping busy is the number one

0:35:30.208 --> 0:35:33.168
<v Speaker 2>keeping in mind. Busy, keeping busy in the morning, waking up,

0:35:33.208 --> 0:35:35.808
<v Speaker 2>have a purpose in the morning. That's got me through

0:35:35.848 --> 0:35:38.968
<v Speaker 2>for sure. Probably the only thing I regret is not

0:35:39.048 --> 0:35:42.968
<v Speaker 2>maybe saying to them but when it all happened, maybe

0:35:43.008 --> 0:35:46.087
<v Speaker 2>saying like, what are you guys doing, Like maybe telling

0:35:46.128 --> 0:35:48.008
<v Speaker 2>them how I felt like I'm so hurt by this,

0:35:49.008 --> 0:35:51.928
<v Speaker 2>you know, severely depressed, like this is horrible for me.

0:35:52.008 --> 0:35:54.207
<v Speaker 2>I'm having to move away, move towns because I can't

0:35:54.248 --> 0:35:57.567
<v Speaker 2>see you guys together. Maybe if I'd said that to them,

0:35:57.928 --> 0:35:59.808
<v Speaker 2>But then again, you know, maybe that would just be

0:35:59.888 --> 0:36:03.728
<v Speaker 2>more hopeful for me rehashing things and not made any difference.

0:36:03.768 --> 0:36:05.488
<v Speaker 2>So probably the only regret would be maybe just not

0:36:05.528 --> 0:36:07.488
<v Speaker 2>telling them how I feel. To me, it was obvious

0:36:07.488 --> 0:36:10.328
<v Speaker 2>how I felt, but maybe not to them. My husband

0:36:10.848 --> 0:36:16.567
<v Speaker 2>is the most amazing, patient, loving, caring person Like things

0:36:16.568 --> 0:36:18.408
<v Speaker 2>that I've been through in life, He's just been there

0:36:18.408 --> 0:36:21.168
<v Speaker 2>for me a thousand percent, and I think it all

0:36:21.168 --> 0:36:24.448
<v Speaker 2>stems from when we met, you know, being through this trauma.

0:36:25.408 --> 0:36:28.888
<v Speaker 2>He is just yeah, so patient, kind, It's just nothing's

0:36:28.888 --> 0:36:31.968
<v Speaker 2>the problem. We've been together for sixteen years. You know,

0:36:32.048 --> 0:36:34.248
<v Speaker 2>I've never had a fight, We never argue. It's just

0:36:34.328 --> 0:36:39.368
<v Speaker 2>the cruisiest, easiest relationship I could have ever pitched. And

0:36:39.408 --> 0:36:42.567
<v Speaker 2>we have two beautiful little girls. So yeah, life is

0:36:42.808 --> 0:36:45.888
<v Speaker 2>life is fine. Now, life is great. I've landed my

0:36:45.968 --> 0:36:51.008
<v Speaker 2>dream job where I've made some really amazing friends. So

0:36:51.048 --> 0:36:54.448
<v Speaker 2>I think just sticking at sticking at my dream job

0:36:54.608 --> 0:36:58.048
<v Speaker 2>and just seeing where that takes me is the dream

0:36:58.088 --> 0:37:00.608
<v Speaker 2>and hopefully the reality. I'm very blessed.

0:37:20.808 --> 0:37:23.768
<v Speaker 1>Everyone has an Ex's a Minti Media production and proudly

0:37:23.888 --> 0:37:26.728
<v Speaker 1>part of the Muma Mea Network. This episode is written

0:37:26.728 --> 0:37:30.888
<v Speaker 1>and produced by Linda Scott. Interview conducted by Rafaela Chicarelli

0:37:30.928 --> 0:37:33.448
<v Speaker 1>and narrated by me Georgia Love. If you have a

0:37:33.488 --> 0:37:36.527
<v Speaker 1>story you'd like to share, email podcast at momameia dot

0:37:36.568 --> 0:37:39.168
<v Speaker 1>com dot au. You can support us by following the

0:37:39.208 --> 0:37:41.488
<v Speaker 1>show in your favorite podcast app and leaving a five

0:37:41.528 --> 0:37:44.408
<v Speaker 1>star review. We'll see you for the next episode.