1 00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:14,808 Speaker 1: You're listening to a mother Mer podcast, Muma Me your 2 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,927 Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters. This 3 00:00:18,088 --> 00:00:29,208 Speaker 1: podcast is recorded on first love. Remember that, the innocent fun, 4 00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:33,968 Speaker 1: the inseparability, the rush of emotions, and all those forgettable firsts. 5 00:00:34,248 --> 00:00:37,047 Speaker 1: For Susie and John, that was exactly what it was like. 6 00:00:37,448 --> 00:00:39,488 Speaker 2: They were just very similar, grew up in the same town, 7 00:00:39,528 --> 00:00:42,328 Speaker 2: are the same friends and families. Knew each other, which 8 00:00:42,368 --> 00:00:45,888 Speaker 2: is easy. He treated me so well does my high 9 00:00:45,888 --> 00:00:48,928 Speaker 2: school sweetheart. We loved each other so much. Every day 10 00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:51,488 Speaker 2: was blissed with him. Yeah, we loved each other very much. 11 00:00:52,128 --> 00:00:54,368 Speaker 1: The thing about first love, though, is that one of 12 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:57,568 Speaker 1: the firsts is the breakup, a rite of passage, but 13 00:00:57,688 --> 00:01:00,008 Speaker 1: never an easy one. So what happens when you go 14 00:01:00,088 --> 00:01:03,128 Speaker 1: through two breakups at once, one with your ex and 15 00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:06,848 Speaker 1: another with someone you never imagine could or should break 16 00:01:06,888 --> 00:01:07,408 Speaker 1: your heart? 17 00:01:07,688 --> 00:01:11,608 Speaker 2: I didn't anybody at all. It's like I found them 18 00:01:11,648 --> 00:01:15,168 Speaker 2: that night, and then they just continued on living their 19 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:19,008 Speaker 2: merry life, doing everything that me and him used to do. 20 00:01:19,608 --> 00:01:22,608 Speaker 2: And then no one sat me down, no one said anything, 21 00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:25,528 Speaker 2: no one mentioned a theme. It was just it was 22 00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:28,368 Speaker 2: a weird, just a weird shock. I don't know how 23 00:01:28,408 --> 00:01:29,208 Speaker 2: anybody could do that. 24 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:41,208 Speaker 1: I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex 25 00:01:41,448 --> 00:01:43,528 Speaker 1: Come with me as we dive into a collection of 26 00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:47,768 Speaker 1: unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the 27 00:01:47,768 --> 00:01:51,408 Speaker 1: hearts of the very people who lived them. At sixteen, 28 00:01:51,608 --> 00:01:54,688 Speaker 1: Susie was just your typical teenage girl. She was the 29 00:01:54,728 --> 00:01:57,328 Speaker 1: youngest of five kids. There was her sister, Anne, who 30 00:01:57,368 --> 00:02:00,248 Speaker 1: was fifteen years older, and her best friend, along with 31 00:02:00,368 --> 00:02:03,168 Speaker 1: three brothers. She had plenty of friends and enjoyed the 32 00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:06,368 Speaker 1: simple life of a small town. Things were good and 33 00:02:06,448 --> 00:02:09,768 Speaker 1: right around there, boys started catching her eye, especially one 34 00:02:09,968 --> 00:02:11,448 Speaker 1: in particular named John. 35 00:02:11,688 --> 00:02:14,048 Speaker 2: We went to the same high school in a small 36 00:02:14,088 --> 00:02:16,808 Speaker 2: country town. I always noticed him at school, but we 37 00:02:16,888 --> 00:02:21,688 Speaker 2: never really spoke. It wasn't until after. It wasn'tuntil after 38 00:02:21,728 --> 00:02:24,287 Speaker 2: we met at a party, a house party once. Yeah, 39 00:02:24,328 --> 00:02:27,368 Speaker 2: we just clicked instantly. Basically, we never really spoke at school, 40 00:02:27,368 --> 00:02:29,567 Speaker 2: but when we spoke at the party, we just got 41 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,328 Speaker 2: on so well. 42 00:02:30,528 --> 00:02:33,248 Speaker 1: From that point on, they were pretty much official. John 43 00:02:33,328 --> 00:02:35,128 Speaker 1: was a couple of years older, but they shared the 44 00:02:35,168 --> 00:02:37,808 Speaker 1: same interest and their young love had all the right 45 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,968 Speaker 1: ingredients fun, adventure and plenty of loves. 46 00:02:41,168 --> 00:02:44,808 Speaker 2: We were inseparable. So the minute he'd knock off from 47 00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:47,847 Speaker 2: work or I'd finish work, he'd come over to my house. 48 00:02:47,888 --> 00:02:50,528 Speaker 2: I'd go to his house. Itill summer. We'd go to 49 00:02:50,568 --> 00:02:53,848 Speaker 2: the beach, go to the movies, always out to dinners. 50 00:02:54,488 --> 00:02:56,648 Speaker 2: Back then in the small town, there was always parties 51 00:02:56,648 --> 00:02:59,768 Speaker 2: on the weekend. We just had a blast together. I 52 00:02:59,808 --> 00:03:03,208 Speaker 2: went on his family holidays, he'd come on mine. Just 53 00:03:03,288 --> 00:03:06,168 Speaker 2: every single minute when we're together, and we just cleaped like. 54 00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:11,208 Speaker 2: There was never any issues. We never fought, We're never jealous, 55 00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:13,168 Speaker 2: all the you know, the things would do when we're 56 00:03:13,208 --> 00:03:16,127 Speaker 2: of teenagers. We'd love to go to music festivals. We'd 57 00:03:16,168 --> 00:03:17,688 Speaker 2: go to all the same parties. I think a small 58 00:03:17,688 --> 00:03:22,288 Speaker 2: country town to everyone knew everybody, so you go to 59 00:03:22,328 --> 00:03:25,248 Speaker 2: a party and just be the same, like fifty people. Yeah, 60 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,328 Speaker 2: we just got on so well. He was an apprentice 61 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,448 Speaker 2: and I worked in an office, and we would just 62 00:03:29,488 --> 00:03:32,208 Speaker 2: spend every minute we went at work, we'd spend it together. 63 00:03:32,768 --> 00:03:35,008 Speaker 2: We'd go to all the parties together at the small town. 64 00:03:35,368 --> 00:03:37,128 Speaker 2: He'd take me out for dinners all the time, heaps 65 00:03:37,168 --> 00:03:40,088 Speaker 2: of movies, anything fun. Really, We'll just go on random 66 00:03:40,168 --> 00:03:42,968 Speaker 2: road trips. I mean, we were young. I was sixteen, 67 00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:45,648 Speaker 2: he might have been nineteen. See, whenever we went at work, 68 00:03:45,648 --> 00:03:47,728 Speaker 2: we were just together. I didn't have my license, so 69 00:03:47,768 --> 00:03:50,808 Speaker 2: he did. He drove me everywhere. We'd go to the city, 70 00:03:51,208 --> 00:03:55,448 Speaker 2: just yeah, on the train, any adventure. He was very adventurous. 71 00:03:55,608 --> 00:03:59,048 Speaker 2: He would go to Taife about twenty minute drive when 72 00:03:59,048 --> 00:04:02,648 Speaker 2: he was an apprentice, and he took a backstreet one 73 00:04:02,728 --> 00:04:07,728 Speaker 2: day by himself and he saw going left one way 74 00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:12,048 Speaker 2: was the street with my name was the street name, 75 00:04:12,088 --> 00:04:14,448 Speaker 2: and then going the opposite direction was the street name 76 00:04:14,528 --> 00:04:17,008 Speaker 2: was his name. Well, like, that is so wild, what 77 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,048 Speaker 2: are the chances of that? He came home and showed 78 00:04:19,087 --> 00:04:20,608 Speaker 2: me the photo on his phone and we all laughed 79 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,728 Speaker 2: about it, and we went to tape. The next week 80 00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:25,328 Speaker 2: when he came home, he had the two street signs 81 00:04:25,368 --> 00:04:28,807 Speaker 2: in his car and he told them and we hung 82 00:04:28,847 --> 00:04:31,008 Speaker 2: him up, like hung them up in the garden and 83 00:04:31,048 --> 00:04:33,128 Speaker 2: it was like this big joke. And they were just 84 00:04:33,248 --> 00:04:34,888 Speaker 2: right next to each other, our two names. It was 85 00:04:34,928 --> 00:04:36,888 Speaker 2: just and they're still there. I drive past them sometimes 86 00:04:36,888 --> 00:04:39,608 Speaker 2: and see the signs of life. They were good times, 87 00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:42,807 Speaker 2: always having a laugh, It was always fun, always joking around. Yeah, 88 00:04:42,888 --> 00:04:45,248 Speaker 2: they were happy times. Yeah, We're just very similar, grew 89 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,808 Speaker 2: up in the same town and the same friends and families, 90 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,408 Speaker 2: knew each other. It was just easy. He treated me 91 00:04:50,488 --> 00:04:54,448 Speaker 2: so well. John was definitely a part of our family. 92 00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:56,288 Speaker 2: I was a part of his family, and yeah, John 93 00:04:56,327 --> 00:04:58,728 Speaker 2: was a part of mine, just my high school sweetheart. 94 00:04:58,727 --> 00:05:01,488 Speaker 2: We loved each other so much. Every day was blissed 95 00:05:01,488 --> 00:05:03,568 Speaker 2: with him. Yeah, we loved each other very much. 96 00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:07,488 Speaker 1: Two years into their relationship, Susie caught a serious case 97 00:05:07,488 --> 00:05:10,888 Speaker 1: of wonderlust. Ready to spread it, she set his sights 98 00:05:10,888 --> 00:05:14,288 Speaker 1: on the adventure of a lifetime, the solo Journey Overseas. 99 00:05:14,568 --> 00:05:18,608 Speaker 2: After I graduated high school, I had friends that live 100 00:05:18,648 --> 00:05:20,767 Speaker 2: in Canada and America, so I decided that I'm going 101 00:05:20,808 --> 00:05:23,167 Speaker 2: to go save up for a year and go traveling. 102 00:05:23,248 --> 00:05:26,767 Speaker 2: So I graduated school, saved up, and flew out. We've 103 00:05:26,808 --> 00:05:31,568 Speaker 2: been together two years by this point, and I was 104 00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:33,688 Speaker 2: gone for nine months, which was a very long time. 105 00:05:34,008 --> 00:05:36,648 Speaker 2: There were times where I thought maybe I shouldn't go 106 00:05:36,847 --> 00:05:40,608 Speaker 2: because I'm so inseparable, but he couldn't come because he 107 00:05:40,648 --> 00:05:43,048 Speaker 2: was an apprentice. I just I think I can wait 108 00:05:43,087 --> 00:05:45,208 Speaker 2: around for like two or three years, so I thought 109 00:05:45,248 --> 00:05:47,008 Speaker 2: I'll just go. I think I was so naive. I thought, 110 00:05:47,087 --> 00:05:50,047 Speaker 2: nine months, you know, it won't be that hard. But 111 00:05:50,087 --> 00:05:51,848 Speaker 2: I remember the minute I flew out. I landed in 112 00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:54,167 Speaker 2: Singapore and I just had like a twelve hour layover 113 00:05:54,207 --> 00:05:55,928 Speaker 2: and I just cried in the airport for twelve hours, 114 00:05:55,967 --> 00:05:57,888 Speaker 2: thinking how am I going to do this? I've made 115 00:05:57,888 --> 00:06:00,808 Speaker 2: the biggest mistake. I already missed him and missed my family. 116 00:06:00,808 --> 00:06:02,808 Speaker 2: And I was only day one out of nine months. 117 00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:06,327 Speaker 2: So out of that nine months, for five of those months, 118 00:06:06,488 --> 00:06:08,928 Speaker 2: five or six months, I was in Canada. I'd never 119 00:06:08,967 --> 00:06:11,408 Speaker 2: seen snow, and they live in northern Canada where it's 120 00:06:11,408 --> 00:06:14,847 Speaker 2: like minus fifty every day in winter. We did skiing, 121 00:06:14,967 --> 00:06:19,248 Speaker 2: snowboarding on Skoodoo, a lot of house parties very similar 122 00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:22,008 Speaker 2: to hear, but the weather was just so extreme. I'd 123 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,488 Speaker 2: never experienced anything like that, leaving here in summer and 124 00:06:24,568 --> 00:06:27,088 Speaker 2: landing there in the middle of winter. The highlight of 125 00:06:27,128 --> 00:06:29,727 Speaker 2: the Canada trip was probably me and her flu and 126 00:06:30,008 --> 00:06:33,528 Speaker 2: saw the Spice Scales and concert, which was so amazing. 127 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:36,248 Speaker 2: After Canada, I flew to the US and I stayed 128 00:06:36,248 --> 00:06:38,808 Speaker 2: with some of my dad's friends for a couple of months, 129 00:06:39,568 --> 00:06:41,728 Speaker 2: and then I had a pen pal who had never 130 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:44,167 Speaker 2: met who lived in London. Yeah, it was a great time. 131 00:06:44,727 --> 00:06:48,368 Speaker 2: So when I was away, unfortunately the phone I had 132 00:06:48,488 --> 00:06:50,368 Speaker 2: didn't work where they lived. It was they lived quite 133 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,728 Speaker 2: remote in northern Canada, so and I think Facebook was 134 00:06:53,768 --> 00:06:56,168 Speaker 2: just becoming a thing. So we were old school. We'd 135 00:06:56,168 --> 00:06:58,207 Speaker 2: have to email each other and I have to call 136 00:06:58,288 --> 00:07:01,128 Speaker 2: like his parents' house and get a landline because it 137 00:07:01,168 --> 00:07:02,888 Speaker 2: was twelve hours difference. I have to make sure I'm 138 00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:04,488 Speaker 2: calling at the right time, and he was at work, 139 00:07:04,607 --> 00:07:08,568 Speaker 2: so contact was pretty minimal when I first got there, 140 00:07:09,168 --> 00:07:11,408 Speaker 2: which I really struggled with not being able to just 141 00:07:11,408 --> 00:07:13,488 Speaker 2: pick up the phone and text or call him. One 142 00:07:13,528 --> 00:07:15,208 Speaker 2: my phone didn't work and two there was no signal. 143 00:07:15,808 --> 00:07:17,648 Speaker 2: So I did struggle with that, just going from like 144 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,648 Speaker 2: twenty four seven contact or with him to really nothing 145 00:07:20,688 --> 00:07:22,928 Speaker 2: and knowing him on the other side of the world. 146 00:07:23,048 --> 00:07:25,208 Speaker 2: Just if I wanted to fly home, it's going to 147 00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:27,488 Speaker 2: take me three days to get home. And when I 148 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,488 Speaker 2: was away for that nine months, thoughts to he crossed 149 00:07:30,488 --> 00:07:32,408 Speaker 2: my mind, like maybe I should just fly home because 150 00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:34,688 Speaker 2: I missed him and my family so much. But then 151 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,368 Speaker 2: the other half of me it was like, they're so silly, 152 00:07:36,968 --> 00:07:39,288 Speaker 2: You've got to just see this out I missed him 153 00:07:39,408 --> 00:07:43,568 Speaker 2: so much and he missed me, and when I was away, 154 00:07:43,968 --> 00:07:47,288 Speaker 2: it all seemed so normal. He never we never had 155 00:07:47,288 --> 00:07:49,927 Speaker 2: any issues. Yeah, we just couldn't wait to be back 156 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:53,328 Speaker 2: together again. We had plans to get married and have 157 00:07:53,408 --> 00:07:54,568 Speaker 2: kids and just be together forever. 158 00:07:54,848 --> 00:07:56,768 Speaker 1: And when it was time to come home, the old 159 00:07:56,808 --> 00:08:00,408 Speaker 1: saying rang true. Absence really did make the heart grow fonder. 160 00:08:01,408 --> 00:08:04,528 Speaker 2: I remember crying on the plane from Singapore to Perth, 161 00:08:04,848 --> 00:08:07,568 Speaker 2: just crying so long, sneaking I'm finely going to see 162 00:08:07,648 --> 00:08:11,528 Speaker 2: him again because we're together NonStop for two years, and 163 00:08:11,568 --> 00:08:14,608 Speaker 2: then to have a big, nine months long distance relationship 164 00:08:14,648 --> 00:08:16,927 Speaker 2: was really hard. He picked me up from the airport 165 00:08:16,928 --> 00:08:19,808 Speaker 2: when I landed. I remember being away for nine months. 166 00:08:19,808 --> 00:08:22,008 Speaker 2: That was just the best feeling of getting off the 167 00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:24,648 Speaker 2: plane after nine months and seeing him again. The joy 168 00:08:24,727 --> 00:08:27,488 Speaker 2: to see him was just so overwhelming. We both just 169 00:08:27,528 --> 00:08:29,968 Speaker 2: cried at the airport, like we just it'd been such 170 00:08:30,048 --> 00:08:34,008 Speaker 2: a long time, nine long, long months. We just said 171 00:08:34,008 --> 00:08:36,688 Speaker 2: we miss each other so much and that will never 172 00:08:36,727 --> 00:08:39,487 Speaker 2: be a part for that long again. I just got 173 00:08:39,528 --> 00:08:41,928 Speaker 2: back into work. He was still an apprentice, so he 174 00:08:41,968 --> 00:08:43,848 Speaker 2: went back to work. Everything was just so normal. I 175 00:08:43,928 --> 00:08:46,848 Speaker 2: sloted back in with my friends. Everything was great. 176 00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:49,368 Speaker 1: The time of part at such a young age has 177 00:08:49,408 --> 00:08:52,688 Speaker 1: a way of stirring questions and awakening new desires for 178 00:08:52,768 --> 00:08:56,928 Speaker 1: life's possibilities. Around four months after Susie's return, she found 179 00:08:56,968 --> 00:09:00,008 Speaker 1: herself seeing her relationship with John in a different light. 180 00:09:00,568 --> 00:09:03,168 Speaker 2: I suppose being away for so long, not only did 181 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:06,168 Speaker 2: I miss him, but also realized, yes, you know so 182 00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:07,728 Speaker 2: many more years ahead of me that I don't need 183 00:09:07,768 --> 00:09:11,088 Speaker 2: to be settling down so young. And yeah, I felt 184 00:09:11,088 --> 00:09:12,768 Speaker 2: the same for him. I thought we both needed just 185 00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:16,568 Speaker 2: have fun. I guess, have fun with our friends and 186 00:09:16,768 --> 00:09:19,688 Speaker 2: have fun when we're young, not be so serious. I 187 00:09:19,728 --> 00:09:22,488 Speaker 2: was nineteen by this time, he was twenty one. We're 188 00:09:22,488 --> 00:09:25,608 Speaker 2: both just so young that I'd only never known him 189 00:09:25,848 --> 00:09:27,768 Speaker 2: since I was like sixteen. I only ever knew him 190 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:31,048 Speaker 2: as a boyfriend. I didn't know anything else apart from him, So, yeah, 191 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:34,008 Speaker 2: it was an accumulation of feelings. I think he was 192 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,968 Speaker 2: feeling the same, so I thought I'd just bring it 193 00:09:36,048 --> 00:09:38,248 Speaker 2: up and just see how he feels. And in the 194 00:09:38,248 --> 00:09:39,928 Speaker 2: car we're just driving along, I just said, I think 195 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,248 Speaker 2: I think you feel the same. I think we just 196 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,648 Speaker 2: need to have some time apart we're drifting apart. We're 197 00:09:44,688 --> 00:09:47,128 Speaker 2: not as close as we used to be. And by 198 00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:49,048 Speaker 2: this time, you know, all our friends had sort of 199 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:53,008 Speaker 2: moved away, and the town wasn't the same. It wasn't fun. See, 200 00:09:53,048 --> 00:09:54,528 Speaker 2: I thought, we'll just spend some time apart. I just 201 00:09:54,568 --> 00:09:55,808 Speaker 2: put it out there to see what he could say, 202 00:09:55,808 --> 00:09:58,288 Speaker 2: and he agreed. He thought, yep, it makes sense what 203 00:09:58,328 --> 00:10:00,888 Speaker 2: you're saying. And being an apprentice, he was locked into 204 00:10:00,888 --> 00:10:04,048 Speaker 2: that job, couldn't travel, didn't really want to travel. But 205 00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:05,607 Speaker 2: on me, on the other hand, I wanted to just 206 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,528 Speaker 2: see the whole world. So we're just going in different directions. 207 00:10:08,888 --> 00:10:12,728 Speaker 2: He was very working, family based. I just wanted to 208 00:10:12,768 --> 00:10:15,128 Speaker 2: see the world and not really be tied down by anything, 209 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,088 Speaker 2: especially so young. Yeah, from that day and we sort 210 00:10:18,088 --> 00:10:21,607 Speaker 2: of just was just a mutual split, which after two 211 00:10:21,648 --> 00:10:24,208 Speaker 2: and a half years it was sad, but I think 212 00:10:24,368 --> 00:10:26,528 Speaker 2: we're both fine with them. And I said, well, it's 213 00:10:26,528 --> 00:10:28,288 Speaker 2: not forever. We can just split for now and then 214 00:10:29,208 --> 00:10:31,048 Speaker 2: see we might go back together later in the future, 215 00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:33,808 Speaker 2: who knows. So it was sad for both of us, 216 00:10:33,848 --> 00:10:36,288 Speaker 2: but we definitely felt like it was the right thing 217 00:10:36,328 --> 00:10:38,928 Speaker 2: to do at that time. I suppose I didn't want 218 00:10:38,928 --> 00:10:40,528 Speaker 2: to be hit with the reality that we might not 219 00:10:40,728 --> 00:10:42,728 Speaker 2: get back together. So I just always took it as, yeah, 220 00:10:42,728 --> 00:10:44,288 Speaker 2: we'll just have a break and then we'll get back together. 221 00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:46,608 Speaker 2: And I guess he was the same. He just thought, 222 00:10:46,728 --> 00:10:49,408 Speaker 2: we'll see what happens. The weeks after, I do remember 223 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:51,688 Speaker 2: that was really hard. It was really sad. I didn't 224 00:10:51,688 --> 00:10:53,168 Speaker 2: know what to do with my life because I just 225 00:10:53,328 --> 00:10:56,088 Speaker 2: I'd only known him for so long. I've always had 226 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:59,128 Speaker 2: a big group of friends, like girlfriends, so I started 227 00:10:59,128 --> 00:11:01,368 Speaker 2: spending more time with them. But it was really hard. 228 00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:03,368 Speaker 2: It was really lonely trying and not pick up my 229 00:11:03,368 --> 00:11:06,848 Speaker 2: phone and message him or call him. He obviously felt 230 00:11:06,888 --> 00:11:09,208 Speaker 2: the same. There was a few texts back and forth, 231 00:11:09,288 --> 00:11:11,688 Speaker 2: just like check with each other, But think that made 232 00:11:11,688 --> 00:11:14,008 Speaker 2: it harder as well, which is like a reminder of 233 00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:17,528 Speaker 2: what we weren't and we just, yeah, slowly, just over 234 00:11:17,568 --> 00:11:19,928 Speaker 2: the weeks, I guess just grew apart even more. 235 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,768 Speaker 1: It had been three months since Susie and John split. 236 00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,848 Speaker 1: While it was sad and difficult at times, she had 237 00:11:26,888 --> 00:11:29,888 Speaker 1: no regrets. She was embracing her freedom, spending time with 238 00:11:29,968 --> 00:11:33,648 Speaker 1: her girlfriends, savoring unforgettable nights out, and on one of 239 00:11:33,688 --> 00:11:36,648 Speaker 1: those nights, the word memorable was taken to a whole 240 00:11:36,648 --> 00:11:37,168 Speaker 1: new level. 241 00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:39,968 Speaker 2: My friends and I were going out to the bars 242 00:11:40,008 --> 00:11:43,728 Speaker 2: and the clubs, and we had to stop by my 243 00:11:43,808 --> 00:11:47,528 Speaker 2: best friend's parents' house. She lived in the same small town. 244 00:11:48,728 --> 00:11:52,088 Speaker 2: So we drove to her parents' house, pulled in the driveway, 245 00:11:52,448 --> 00:11:57,088 Speaker 2: and my sister, she lived two doors down from my 246 00:11:57,168 --> 00:11:59,888 Speaker 2: friend's parents house, And when we put up to her 247 00:11:59,968 --> 00:12:03,168 Speaker 2: friend's parents house, I saw his car was parked in 248 00:12:03,248 --> 00:12:07,088 Speaker 2: my sister's driveway, his being John's. I thought, that's a 249 00:12:07,128 --> 00:12:09,648 Speaker 2: bit strange. It was a Friday night, I remember that clearly. 250 00:12:10,288 --> 00:12:12,008 Speaker 2: I don't know why is Carl would be at her house. 251 00:12:12,288 --> 00:12:14,328 Speaker 2: I mean, we're all close and were together, like if 252 00:12:14,408 --> 00:12:20,008 Speaker 2: families are. And my sister so she's fifteen years older 253 00:12:20,048 --> 00:12:25,328 Speaker 2: than me at the time, I was nineteen. Boyfriend or 254 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,048 Speaker 2: ex boyfriend at that time he was twenty one and 255 00:12:28,128 --> 00:12:31,248 Speaker 2: she was thirty three. So I just got out of 256 00:12:31,248 --> 00:12:36,088 Speaker 2: the car and walked down to her house and inside 257 00:12:36,128 --> 00:12:39,248 Speaker 2: the loundry and light was on, and I peered through 258 00:12:39,928 --> 00:12:44,487 Speaker 2: the front door was like a frosted glass, and they 259 00:12:44,528 --> 00:12:48,968 Speaker 2: were just having sex in the one hundred room, and 260 00:12:49,448 --> 00:12:53,008 Speaker 2: I was just like, what the outside hell? I just 261 00:12:53,048 --> 00:12:56,168 Speaker 2: banged on the door so so hard right inside, just 262 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:59,568 Speaker 2: screaming like what are you guys doing? It was such 263 00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:03,768 Speaker 2: a shock. I'd never expected anything like that in my life. 264 00:13:04,648 --> 00:13:06,288 Speaker 2: I was just screaming at them both, like what are 265 00:13:06,288 --> 00:13:09,008 Speaker 2: you doing? Like I had so many questions, how long 266 00:13:09,008 --> 00:13:12,328 Speaker 2: has it been going on? Like so many questions. I 267 00:13:12,368 --> 00:13:14,208 Speaker 2: was basically a mess, though, So I just ran out 268 00:13:14,248 --> 00:13:15,968 Speaker 2: of the house, ran back to my friends. We jumped 269 00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:17,488 Speaker 2: in the car and they were like, what's wrong? And 270 00:13:17,528 --> 00:13:19,688 Speaker 2: I told them and they were just as mind blown 271 00:13:19,728 --> 00:13:23,328 Speaker 2: as I was. So my mind first went to I've 272 00:13:23,408 --> 00:13:26,208 Speaker 2: just been away for nine months, out of the sear 273 00:13:26,448 --> 00:13:27,888 Speaker 2: of what has been going on? When I was ever 274 00:13:27,928 --> 00:13:30,808 Speaker 2: seas And I ran back to the to my friends 275 00:13:30,848 --> 00:13:33,048 Speaker 2: and we went out that night. Needless to say, we 276 00:13:33,128 --> 00:13:35,328 Speaker 2: had a very big night. I was just such a 277 00:13:35,368 --> 00:13:38,128 Speaker 2: mess all night, Like I was laughing about it, and 278 00:13:38,128 --> 00:13:39,648 Speaker 2: then I was crying about it. I just saw what 279 00:13:39,768 --> 00:13:42,768 Speaker 2: was happening. Didn't tell anyone else. I didn't tell any 280 00:13:42,848 --> 00:13:45,168 Speaker 2: other family or anything that night, because my sister and 281 00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:47,448 Speaker 2: I were so close for my whole life. It was 282 00:13:47,488 --> 00:13:52,088 Speaker 2: just so unexpected. I did come back to his house 283 00:13:52,128 --> 00:13:54,528 Speaker 2: the next morning. I hadn't slept all night, went out 284 00:13:54,528 --> 00:13:56,607 Speaker 2: all night, come back the next morning to his house, 285 00:13:56,848 --> 00:14:00,368 Speaker 2: and I was so angry. I went around to his house, 286 00:14:01,488 --> 00:14:03,528 Speaker 2: went into his bedroom and got a pair of scissors 287 00:14:03,528 --> 00:14:05,288 Speaker 2: and cut up all of his clothes and threw them 288 00:14:05,448 --> 00:14:12,168 Speaker 2: all over the room. That felt good. Break my heart 289 00:14:12,168 --> 00:14:13,568 Speaker 2: in half. I'll cut you close en half. 290 00:14:14,088 --> 00:14:17,928 Speaker 1: But after that fleeting moment of vindication, reality set in 291 00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:22,008 Speaker 1: and Susie was left questioning what she'd seen without any answers. 292 00:14:22,368 --> 00:14:24,928 Speaker 2: I didn't reach out to them at all. Not only 293 00:14:24,928 --> 00:14:27,168 Speaker 2: did I not want to see them together, I wanted 294 00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:29,728 Speaker 2: to hear what they had to say as to why 295 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,088 Speaker 2: they were doing this, But again I didn't. It was 296 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:34,328 Speaker 2: so hurtful. I didn't really care. Like the damage had 297 00:14:34,368 --> 00:14:36,728 Speaker 2: been done by that point, I didn't get in contact 298 00:14:36,728 --> 00:14:37,848 Speaker 2: with them at all. I thought they would get in 299 00:14:37,848 --> 00:14:39,728 Speaker 2: contact with me and at least maybe sit me down 300 00:14:39,768 --> 00:14:42,368 Speaker 2: and say that we're so sorry. Any communication would have 301 00:14:42,368 --> 00:14:44,248 Speaker 2: been good, but I just I just had nothing. I 302 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,768 Speaker 2: text one of my older brothers and I was like, 303 00:14:46,888 --> 00:14:51,328 Speaker 2: you're never gonna bleeve what's happened? And I'm assuming word 304 00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:53,208 Speaker 2: just got round. I guess Mum and Dad found out. 305 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:56,648 Speaker 2: Probably just snowboard from there, and yeah, being such a 306 00:14:56,648 --> 00:14:58,968 Speaker 2: small country town, it didn't take long for everyone to 307 00:14:59,008 --> 00:15:02,128 Speaker 2: find that out, probably the next day what had happened 308 00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:05,048 Speaker 2: the night before. They just carried on like normal, like 309 00:15:05,128 --> 00:15:07,848 Speaker 2: they were together from that night on or maybe before, 310 00:15:07,848 --> 00:15:10,728 Speaker 2: I don't know, they were just an ite. She lost 311 00:15:10,768 --> 00:15:14,248 Speaker 2: a lot of friends, especially all my friends. But again 312 00:15:14,328 --> 00:15:16,928 Speaker 2: being in a small town, yeah, she lost a lot 313 00:15:16,968 --> 00:15:18,848 Speaker 2: of respect a lot of people in the town. They 314 00:15:18,888 --> 00:15:20,528 Speaker 2: just would see them together and just think, why are 315 00:15:20,568 --> 00:15:22,928 Speaker 2: you guys together? Like they used to be your little 316 00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:24,368 Speaker 2: sister's boyfriend, and now you're together. 317 00:15:24,768 --> 00:15:27,688 Speaker 1: As words spread and with John and Susie's sister and 318 00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:31,688 Speaker 1: now openly a couple, Susie found it increasingly difficult to 319 00:15:31,728 --> 00:15:33,848 Speaker 1: live anything resembling a normal life. 320 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:41,208 Speaker 2: I didn't hear anything from either of them for days, weeks, 321 00:15:41,248 --> 00:15:46,048 Speaker 2: possibly months. The weeks and the months after that were 322 00:15:46,168 --> 00:15:50,328 Speaker 2: really hard. I didn't view from anybody at all. It's 323 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:53,848 Speaker 2: like I found them that night, and then they just 324 00:15:53,888 --> 00:15:57,248 Speaker 2: continued on living their merry life, doing everything that me 325 00:15:57,288 --> 00:15:59,688 Speaker 2: and him used to do with my niece and nephew. 326 00:16:00,088 --> 00:16:02,928 Speaker 2: And then no one sat me down, no one said anything, 327 00:16:03,488 --> 00:16:05,928 Speaker 2: no one mentioned a thing. It was just it was 328 00:16:05,928 --> 00:16:08,808 Speaker 2: a weird, just a weird shock. I don't know how 329 00:16:08,808 --> 00:16:11,048 Speaker 2: anybody could do that. I was in shock for like 330 00:16:11,128 --> 00:16:14,968 Speaker 2: weeks and weeks, and then I was super sad. It's 331 00:16:15,048 --> 00:16:16,888 Speaker 2: used to cry like every day when I'd see them 332 00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:19,768 Speaker 2: together or you know, pop up on Facebook. I can 333 00:16:19,808 --> 00:16:22,288 Speaker 2: to be a photo of them too. I just went 334 00:16:22,328 --> 00:16:27,888 Speaker 2: down this spiral of how could my sister, my oldest sister, 335 00:16:27,928 --> 00:16:30,248 Speaker 2: do that to me? I could never ever picture doing 336 00:16:30,288 --> 00:16:32,768 Speaker 2: that to someone, not only a sister, but so much 337 00:16:32,808 --> 00:16:36,168 Speaker 2: younger than you two, you know, fifteen years. You're such 338 00:16:36,168 --> 00:16:38,808 Speaker 2: a big age gap. Not that that matters between those two. 339 00:16:39,608 --> 00:16:42,208 Speaker 2: I just went down this downward spiral of you know, 340 00:16:42,248 --> 00:16:44,528 Speaker 2: why does he like her and not me? And yeah, 341 00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:47,128 Speaker 2: all those silly things like yeah, what's wrong with me? 342 00:16:47,168 --> 00:16:49,848 Speaker 2: And what's better about her? And compared myself a lot 343 00:16:49,848 --> 00:16:52,608 Speaker 2: with her, and just went back and forth for quite 344 00:16:52,608 --> 00:16:55,888 Speaker 2: a long time. I was depressed for so long. I 345 00:16:55,888 --> 00:16:57,568 Speaker 2: think people just you know, small town might to go 346 00:16:57,688 --> 00:17:00,208 Speaker 2: so like, oh I saw I saw them at the shop, 347 00:17:00,248 --> 00:17:01,608 Speaker 2: So I saw them at the movie. He's like, how 348 00:17:01,608 --> 00:17:04,768 Speaker 2: are you going? Get it? Be that whole like sympathy thing, 349 00:17:05,288 --> 00:17:08,247 Speaker 2: which was also hard within me. Finding them in that 350 00:17:08,368 --> 00:17:12,007 Speaker 2: first seeing them together. I don't think I saw them 351 00:17:12,008 --> 00:17:13,407 Speaker 2: at all. I think I just stayed. I went to 352 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,848 Speaker 2: work and come home. I didn't go anywhere, and that 353 00:17:15,928 --> 00:17:17,768 Speaker 2: was part of the down was spiral. I just really 354 00:17:17,768 --> 00:17:20,088 Speaker 2: secluded myself. I didn't want to see them. I didn't 355 00:17:20,088 --> 00:17:21,768 Speaker 2: want to bump into them at the shops because how 356 00:17:21,768 --> 00:17:24,688 Speaker 2: awk would that be. So I think I just stayed 357 00:17:24,688 --> 00:17:26,928 Speaker 2: to myself, which was not healthy. Well. 358 00:17:27,008 --> 00:17:30,088 Speaker 1: Susie bore the brunt of Anne and John's relationship. The 359 00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:33,608 Speaker 1: ripple effect on their tight knit family was undeniable. It 360 00:17:33,688 --> 00:17:38,768 Speaker 1: created confusion, especially for Anne's children, Susie's beloved niece and nephew, 361 00:17:39,088 --> 00:17:40,648 Speaker 1: to whom she was incredibly close. 362 00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:43,968 Speaker 2: My niece was the older one, she's probably four. She's 363 00:17:44,008 --> 00:17:46,488 Speaker 2: to say, oh, you know, that was my Auntie's boyfriend 364 00:17:46,528 --> 00:17:49,528 Speaker 2: and now he's mummy's boyfriend. Very confusing for the poor kids. 365 00:17:50,288 --> 00:17:52,128 Speaker 2: And I didn't know what to say to them. My 366 00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:55,328 Speaker 2: brothers definitely rallied around me when it all happened. This 367 00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:57,288 Speaker 2: is on the youngest too. It's like I'm the baby 368 00:17:57,848 --> 00:18:01,008 Speaker 2: mom and dad was awkward for them. Mom didn't really 369 00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:04,608 Speaker 2: know where to stand, whether not that we took sides, 370 00:18:04,608 --> 00:18:07,488 Speaker 2: but I think everyone just went along with it, because like, 371 00:18:07,568 --> 00:18:09,168 Speaker 2: what else are they going to do. Either they don't 372 00:18:09,168 --> 00:18:12,088 Speaker 2: talk to her either, and then the whole family's divided, 373 00:18:12,408 --> 00:18:14,088 Speaker 2: or we will just sort of go along with it, 374 00:18:14,128 --> 00:18:17,928 Speaker 2: like to lunches and dinners and celebrations. Everyone just sort 375 00:18:17,928 --> 00:18:20,927 Speaker 2: of went along with it. My oldest brother when it 376 00:18:21,128 --> 00:18:24,927 Speaker 2: happened my birthday that year, he knew how much of 377 00:18:24,928 --> 00:18:26,288 Speaker 2: a mess I was. He took me to Barley on 378 00:18:26,288 --> 00:18:28,608 Speaker 2: a holiday, just him and I, and we had such 379 00:18:28,648 --> 00:18:30,848 Speaker 2: a good time, just the two of us, just one 380 00:18:30,888 --> 00:18:33,448 Speaker 2: on one. He he was just like, I don't know 381 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:35,568 Speaker 2: how she could do this to you. It was so 382 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,768 Speaker 2: hard for everyone to watch. They just knew how upset 383 00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,927 Speaker 2: I was all the time, but then they were so 384 00:18:40,008 --> 00:18:43,848 Speaker 2: happy together. It was just really, really hard. Should someone 385 00:18:43,888 --> 00:18:46,128 Speaker 2: have stepped in and said, you know, you guys need 386 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,167 Speaker 2: to split up? Whatever, I guess it wasn't anyone else's 387 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,927 Speaker 2: place to say, so we all just went along with it. 388 00:18:50,928 --> 00:18:53,088 Speaker 2: But it was so hard for everyone to watch. 389 00:18:53,408 --> 00:18:56,528 Speaker 1: Five months after Susie had caught her sister and John together, 390 00:18:56,928 --> 00:19:00,447 Speaker 1: and after months of silence and deliberate avoidance, their first 391 00:19:00,448 --> 00:19:02,888 Speaker 1: in person encounter came it what's meant to be the 392 00:19:02,888 --> 00:19:05,447 Speaker 1: most wonderful time of the Christmas. 393 00:19:05,568 --> 00:19:08,208 Speaker 2: I wasn't sure if they were coming or not, and 394 00:19:08,288 --> 00:19:11,168 Speaker 2: I was just in such a fragile staye in. They 395 00:19:11,248 --> 00:19:13,568 Speaker 2: walked and it was just like a big punch to 396 00:19:13,608 --> 00:19:16,648 Speaker 2: the face, like this is still happening. And I was 397 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:19,568 Speaker 2: just like, Oh, here we go. And they sat down 398 00:19:19,648 --> 00:19:21,208 Speaker 2: and then I think someone asked them, what do you 399 00:19:21,208 --> 00:19:23,247 Speaker 2: guys been up to? And I was at the other 400 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,168 Speaker 2: end of the table, and they said, oh, yeah, we've 401 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,328 Speaker 2: just got back from a holiday. I think they went 402 00:19:27,328 --> 00:19:29,727 Speaker 2: to Bali, you know, took the kids and they had 403 00:19:29,728 --> 00:19:31,848 Speaker 2: a great time, and it was like so amazing. The 404 00:19:31,888 --> 00:19:35,088 Speaker 2: kids had such a fun time, and I just just 405 00:19:35,088 --> 00:19:37,728 Speaker 2: sat there and started balling. I was like that should 406 00:19:37,728 --> 00:19:40,888 Speaker 2: be me. But yeah. Then I just got up and 407 00:19:41,008 --> 00:19:44,088 Speaker 2: left and drove home. I just couldn't handle hearing there. 408 00:19:44,488 --> 00:19:46,328 Speaker 2: I just couldn't sit there and be fake. I just 409 00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:48,728 Speaker 2: hearing their story was I was just like, I can't 410 00:19:48,728 --> 00:19:52,728 Speaker 2: do this. It really felt like a slip in the face. 411 00:19:53,128 --> 00:19:56,407 Speaker 2: Everything they said either him and I had been there 412 00:19:56,608 --> 00:19:59,728 Speaker 2: before or we were planning to go there. They just 413 00:19:59,768 --> 00:20:02,368 Speaker 2: acted so normal, like, hey, everyone, merry Christmas, and I 414 00:20:02,408 --> 00:20:05,488 Speaker 2: was just like, what on earth is happening with me 415 00:20:05,488 --> 00:20:07,688 Speaker 2: in my life? Just couldn't believe that I was sitting 416 00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:11,407 Speaker 2: there looking across the table them to just chatting happily, 417 00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:13,407 Speaker 2: and they were just they were just loving life, and 418 00:20:13,408 --> 00:20:16,407 Speaker 2: I was just miserable. I was so surprised. I was 419 00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:19,048 Speaker 2: completely blindsided. I had no idea they were going to 420 00:20:19,088 --> 00:20:22,448 Speaker 2: turn up. No one warned me, probably because I didn't 421 00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:24,927 Speaker 2: know how to warm me, I suppose. I think probably 422 00:20:24,928 --> 00:20:27,568 Speaker 2: ten seconds into the conversation, I just burst into tears, 423 00:20:27,568 --> 00:20:30,248 Speaker 2: and it was quite obvious at the table. Everyone was 424 00:20:30,248 --> 00:20:32,648 Speaker 2: looking at me like hmmm. No one really knew what 425 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,128 Speaker 2: to do, a way to look, and so I just 426 00:20:34,128 --> 00:20:35,848 Speaker 2: got up and walked out. I just thought, I can't 427 00:20:35,888 --> 00:20:38,648 Speaker 2: be here. Christmas is ruined. I just drove home and 428 00:20:38,648 --> 00:20:41,608 Speaker 2: just cried the whole way home. Basically, I think that 429 00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:43,048 Speaker 2: was at that point I was I can even have 430 00:20:43,048 --> 00:20:47,488 Speaker 2: some boundaries. It's upsetting me naturally too much, and I 431 00:20:47,568 --> 00:20:50,248 Speaker 2: just need to stop going to these events or get 432 00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:51,888 Speaker 2: them to not come because I just simply can't. I 433 00:20:51,888 --> 00:20:54,967 Speaker 2: can't handle it. So yeah, I just put some boundaries up. 434 00:20:54,968 --> 00:20:57,528 Speaker 2: At that point, I just completely wiped him, like I 435 00:20:57,568 --> 00:21:00,728 Speaker 2: just thought he was the biggest piece of shit. I 436 00:21:00,768 --> 00:21:02,568 Speaker 2: was just so angry at her because she's family, but 437 00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:05,008 Speaker 2: him I didn't really care about, so I thought, well, 438 00:21:05,648 --> 00:21:08,407 Speaker 2: he's just another ex now, But yeah, I was her. 439 00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:11,048 Speaker 2: I was really really angry, you upset at I just 440 00:21:11,768 --> 00:21:13,368 Speaker 2: kept playing around in my head like who does that 441 00:21:13,408 --> 00:21:16,448 Speaker 2: to their baby sister. I definitely fast tracked that breakup 442 00:21:17,648 --> 00:21:19,528 Speaker 2: is for sure. We could have got back together. We 443 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,008 Speaker 2: could have then breaken up again, and I could have 444 00:21:21,008 --> 00:21:24,488 Speaker 2: been sad for another year. But this definitely fast tracked it. 445 00:21:24,608 --> 00:21:27,528 Speaker 2: The dialogue between John and I when he was with 446 00:21:27,528 --> 00:21:30,008 Speaker 2: my sister and when we'd see each other, he wouldn't 447 00:21:30,048 --> 00:21:31,968 Speaker 2: look at me. It's just like, deep down he knew 448 00:21:32,008 --> 00:21:34,128 Speaker 2: what he was doing was wrong. It was like I 449 00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:36,727 Speaker 2: like I never existed, Like the two years we had 450 00:21:36,768 --> 00:21:39,167 Speaker 2: together was just nothing, and now he's with her and 451 00:21:39,168 --> 00:21:40,528 Speaker 2: we'd see each other, he wouldn't even look at me 452 00:21:40,568 --> 00:21:42,968 Speaker 2: in the face. It's like it was just a real 453 00:21:43,128 --> 00:21:46,728 Speaker 2: Like what we had wasn't even real. After that Christmas, 454 00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:49,007 Speaker 2: I think I might have got off social media as well, 455 00:21:49,048 --> 00:21:53,248 Speaker 2: because I couldn't handle just seeing the happy photos and 456 00:21:53,288 --> 00:21:56,288 Speaker 2: everyone hanging out and being lovey dovey. Yeah, I really 457 00:21:56,928 --> 00:22:00,768 Speaker 2: just secluded myself. I know, they went on multiple overseas holidays. 458 00:22:00,768 --> 00:22:02,927 Speaker 2: It's basically just everything that me and him were going 459 00:22:03,008 --> 00:22:05,008 Speaker 2: to do and that we wanted to do, they did instead. 460 00:22:05,448 --> 00:22:07,368 Speaker 2: It really hurt with my niece and nephew got involved. 461 00:22:07,408 --> 00:22:10,288 Speaker 2: Like not only was it super confusing them because I 462 00:22:10,328 --> 00:22:12,608 Speaker 2: was so young, but then they were having fun as 463 00:22:12,608 --> 00:22:15,768 Speaker 2: a family, like I used to babysit them, and like 464 00:22:15,808 --> 00:22:17,248 Speaker 2: me and him used to babysit them, and it was 465 00:22:17,288 --> 00:22:19,608 Speaker 2: us four, and all of a sudden, it was them four, 466 00:22:19,608 --> 00:22:20,768 Speaker 2: and I was like on the outer. 467 00:22:25,408 --> 00:22:28,168 Speaker 1: It had been the most traumatic year of Susie's life. 468 00:22:28,328 --> 00:22:31,288 Speaker 1: She hadn't just lost her boyfriend, she lost her sister, 469 00:22:31,488 --> 00:22:33,448 Speaker 1: her best friend in the bond with her niece and 470 00:22:33,528 --> 00:22:37,648 Speaker 1: nephew that meant everything. Heartbroken, she knew she couldn't stay, 471 00:22:37,968 --> 00:22:41,128 Speaker 1: so she left for the city, desperate to escape the pain, 472 00:22:41,648 --> 00:22:43,208 Speaker 1: and it was here that she met Dave. 473 00:22:44,848 --> 00:22:47,128 Speaker 2: It was love at first sight, like when we locked 474 00:22:47,128 --> 00:22:50,528 Speaker 2: eyes has done so like Cheezy, it locked eyes across 475 00:22:50,568 --> 00:22:53,488 Speaker 2: the bar. I was just like, yeah, I like love him. 476 00:22:53,648 --> 00:22:55,528 Speaker 2: It's just the weirdest feeling. And I had my best 477 00:22:55,528 --> 00:22:56,968 Speaker 2: friend was there at the time, and I said to her, 478 00:22:57,528 --> 00:22:59,688 Speaker 2: that's my few jar husband. I approached him at the bar. 479 00:22:59,768 --> 00:23:04,608 Speaker 2: He is super shy and doesn't like situations like big 480 00:23:04,608 --> 00:23:07,008 Speaker 2: groups of people, so I approached him. We just got talking. 481 00:23:07,248 --> 00:23:11,368 Speaker 2: I got his number, and he's very anti social media, 482 00:23:11,488 --> 00:23:14,488 Speaker 2: so I couldn't stalk him on Facebook unfortunately. Yeah, just 483 00:23:14,488 --> 00:23:16,448 Speaker 2: text him the next day and we just started hanging out. 484 00:23:16,488 --> 00:23:19,008 Speaker 2: And our first day, he took me out to a 485 00:23:19,048 --> 00:23:21,648 Speaker 2: really fancy restaurant in the city. It was so beautiful, 486 00:23:21,728 --> 00:23:23,687 Speaker 2: was like nothing had ever been on before. And I 487 00:23:23,688 --> 00:23:25,288 Speaker 2: feel like the more dates I went on with him 488 00:23:25,328 --> 00:23:28,128 Speaker 2: and the long girls with him, he definitely healed me 489 00:23:28,208 --> 00:23:31,368 Speaker 2: in a sense. Just I felt so safe, like you 490 00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:33,728 Speaker 2: feel like he saved me, which is also such a 491 00:23:33,808 --> 00:23:36,447 Speaker 2: dark place. It was such a dark place when I 492 00:23:36,488 --> 00:23:38,688 Speaker 2: met him, and obviously I told him everything that happened. 493 00:23:39,368 --> 00:23:42,288 Speaker 2: I think, right place, right time, right person. It was 494 00:23:42,328 --> 00:23:44,167 Speaker 2: just meant to be. There's the only way to describe that. 495 00:23:44,248 --> 00:23:46,288 Speaker 2: It's just when I met him, spent time with him, 496 00:23:46,328 --> 00:23:49,488 Speaker 2: I just knew that that was my actual forever. Everything 497 00:23:49,608 --> 00:23:53,328 Speaker 2: just felt more in line once I met him. It's 498 00:23:53,408 --> 00:23:56,488 Speaker 2: like nothing before him really mattered. Then it was just 499 00:23:56,528 --> 00:24:00,128 Speaker 2: everything I thought with my ex. I just thought everything 500 00:24:00,128 --> 00:24:01,687 Speaker 2: I had with him was so amazing. Well, this is 501 00:24:01,688 --> 00:24:05,248 Speaker 2: like another level of amazing. He just yeah, his next 502 00:24:05,328 --> 00:24:07,568 Speaker 2: level amazing And I don't need to dwell on the 503 00:24:07,568 --> 00:24:09,728 Speaker 2: past because everything with him is perfect. 504 00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:13,568 Speaker 1: And it seemed back home everything was just as perfect 505 00:24:13,648 --> 00:24:14,848 Speaker 1: with Anne and John. 506 00:24:14,848 --> 00:24:17,768 Speaker 2: So Mum bless her. I was always trying to get 507 00:24:17,848 --> 00:24:20,248 Speaker 2: my sister and I back together, just on like a 508 00:24:20,248 --> 00:24:23,448 Speaker 2: social level so it wasn't as awkward at family events, 509 00:24:23,728 --> 00:24:27,328 Speaker 2: and so she invited me to lunch with my sister 510 00:24:27,408 --> 00:24:29,328 Speaker 2: and my niece, and I thought, yeah, I'll go along. 511 00:24:30,288 --> 00:24:32,888 Speaker 2: And then soon as we sat down at the cafe, 512 00:24:33,288 --> 00:24:36,407 Speaker 2: my niece turned to me and said, Mom's got to 513 00:24:36,648 --> 00:24:39,248 Speaker 2: ring on her finger, and I just obviously knew exactly 514 00:24:39,328 --> 00:24:42,608 Speaker 2: what that meant. My whole body was like, oh, I 515 00:24:42,648 --> 00:24:44,128 Speaker 2: just felt so sick, and like I think I went 516 00:24:44,168 --> 00:24:47,048 Speaker 2: probably went really pale, and then it was out there 517 00:24:47,088 --> 00:24:48,688 Speaker 2: then so then she put her hand on the table 518 00:24:48,728 --> 00:24:51,207 Speaker 2: and said, yeah, like John and I are engaged, and 519 00:24:51,208 --> 00:24:55,568 Speaker 2: I just burst into tears, like this is beyond ridiculous. 520 00:24:56,288 --> 00:24:59,208 Speaker 2: And then a small cafe, I think everyone was looking 521 00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:01,608 Speaker 2: at me, and so I just got up, walked outside 522 00:25:01,648 --> 00:25:03,568 Speaker 2: and that just could not stop sobbing. I just like 523 00:25:03,968 --> 00:25:06,088 Speaker 2: walking down the street. I think Mum might have come 524 00:25:06,128 --> 00:25:07,448 Speaker 2: after me and was like, you know, it's okay, blah 525 00:25:07,448 --> 00:25:09,568 Speaker 2: blah blah. I was like, it's not okay. Mom was 526 00:25:09,568 --> 00:25:11,768 Speaker 2: trying get us all back together. I don't even think 527 00:25:11,768 --> 00:25:13,208 Speaker 2: I went back to lunch. I think I just went home. 528 00:25:13,288 --> 00:25:15,167 Speaker 2: I was just like, this can't be happening. It was 529 00:25:15,288 --> 00:25:16,088 Speaker 2: just so painful. 530 00:25:16,408 --> 00:25:19,288 Speaker 1: But not long after, Susie had some exciting years of 531 00:25:19,328 --> 00:25:19,688 Speaker 1: her own. 532 00:25:20,008 --> 00:25:24,528 Speaker 2: About six months after that, I got engaged will only 533 00:25:24,608 --> 00:25:27,368 Speaker 2: together for a year. When my husband proposed and we 534 00:25:27,448 --> 00:25:29,328 Speaker 2: backed the same restaurant. They took me out for the 535 00:25:29,368 --> 00:25:32,207 Speaker 2: first date and I had no idea it was going 536 00:25:32,248 --> 00:25:33,808 Speaker 2: to happen. We just sat down at dinner and he 537 00:25:33,848 --> 00:25:35,848 Speaker 2: just pulled out a ring and I was like so shocked, 538 00:25:36,528 --> 00:25:38,288 Speaker 2: and he just he had this big speel. But at 539 00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:40,448 Speaker 2: the time I was just like, I guess it's blacked 540 00:25:40,448 --> 00:25:42,488 Speaker 2: out for a minute. And at the end he said, 541 00:25:42,688 --> 00:25:44,048 Speaker 2: will you be my wife? And I was like, oh 542 00:25:44,088 --> 00:25:46,407 Speaker 2: my god. Yes. So I had a big engagement party 543 00:25:46,448 --> 00:25:51,208 Speaker 2: and they both came, and every family event or celebration 544 00:25:51,368 --> 00:25:54,407 Speaker 2: was just so awkward. And then when my husband and 545 00:25:54,408 --> 00:25:56,768 Speaker 2: I got married, I thought I'd be the bigger person 546 00:25:57,488 --> 00:26:00,528 Speaker 2: and invite the both of them. I was still together. 547 00:26:01,408 --> 00:26:03,008 Speaker 2: I just thought, I've just got to for the sake 548 00:26:03,048 --> 00:26:05,167 Speaker 2: of the family, I'll just invite him, you know. And 549 00:26:05,208 --> 00:26:07,328 Speaker 2: then the wedding rolls around and she didn't even bring him. 550 00:26:07,688 --> 00:26:09,848 Speaker 2: She told me that she didn't want her sister walk 551 00:26:09,928 --> 00:26:12,207 Speaker 2: down the aisle and seeing her ex in the crowd, 552 00:26:12,968 --> 00:26:14,368 Speaker 2: And to me, I'm like, well, isn't that a sign 553 00:26:14,368 --> 00:26:17,128 Speaker 2: that you shouldn't be together? You know, based on what 554 00:26:17,208 --> 00:26:19,248 Speaker 2: had happened leading up to the wedding, I just thought 555 00:26:19,248 --> 00:26:21,008 Speaker 2: she would have brought him along like every other event, 556 00:26:21,768 --> 00:26:23,488 Speaker 2: And maybe that was a turning point for her, maybe 557 00:26:23,528 --> 00:26:26,768 Speaker 2: thinking maybe she thought, why am I still with him 558 00:26:26,768 --> 00:26:29,448 Speaker 2: if I feel awkward bringing him to bigger fans like this, 559 00:26:30,368 --> 00:26:32,088 Speaker 2: Maybe she thought they should be together at that point. 560 00:26:32,088 --> 00:26:34,088 Speaker 2: Because for her to say that was I was a 561 00:26:34,128 --> 00:26:35,407 Speaker 2: bit shocked. I was like, oh, you've brought him to 562 00:26:35,408 --> 00:26:38,048 Speaker 2: every other event, but and I did. At that point, 563 00:26:38,088 --> 00:26:39,848 Speaker 2: I didn't care walking down the aisle seeing him in 564 00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,608 Speaker 2: the crowd. That didn't bother me. I was so passed 565 00:26:41,608 --> 00:26:43,207 Speaker 2: her by that point. It really wouldn't have bothered me, 566 00:26:43,248 --> 00:26:45,408 Speaker 2: but the fact she didn't bring him to the wedding 567 00:26:45,488 --> 00:26:47,288 Speaker 2: maybe she thought this is wrong. 568 00:26:47,768 --> 00:26:51,008 Speaker 1: Life went on, Susie was happily married and Anne was 569 00:26:51,088 --> 00:26:53,888 Speaker 1: engaged to John until one day. 570 00:26:54,128 --> 00:26:55,968 Speaker 2: So I was on the phone to Mum one night. 571 00:26:56,408 --> 00:26:58,928 Speaker 2: It must have been about three years they've been together 572 00:26:58,968 --> 00:27:02,208 Speaker 2: at this point. I think, well, just chatting, chatting away, 573 00:27:02,248 --> 00:27:03,727 Speaker 2: I think, and then just Mum just dropped it in 574 00:27:03,768 --> 00:27:06,688 Speaker 2: there that they had split up. I think Mum did that, 575 00:27:07,768 --> 00:27:10,888 Speaker 2: so it wasn't such a big shock to me, and 576 00:27:10,928 --> 00:27:12,888 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, hang on, but go back and 577 00:27:12,888 --> 00:27:14,608 Speaker 2: tell me more. And she just said they've broken up. 578 00:27:15,248 --> 00:27:19,568 Speaker 2: I wasn't relieved, I wasn't surprised. I felt nothing. Actually 579 00:27:19,568 --> 00:27:22,008 Speaker 2: felt a little bit sad because then I knew, because 580 00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:23,608 Speaker 2: he was such a great guy, I knew that when 581 00:27:23,648 --> 00:27:25,488 Speaker 2: they broke up, she would then be going through what 582 00:27:25,568 --> 00:27:27,648 Speaker 2: I went through. So I felt a little bit sad 583 00:27:27,648 --> 00:27:30,288 Speaker 2: for her, but not really. I think I was so 584 00:27:30,408 --> 00:27:32,808 Speaker 2: happy with my now husband. I just didn't care. I 585 00:27:32,848 --> 00:27:34,848 Speaker 2: didn't care what they were doing. I didn't care where 586 00:27:34,848 --> 00:27:36,207 Speaker 2: they were or what they were up to. When they 587 00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:38,128 Speaker 2: broke up, I was like, oh, yeah, it just it 588 00:27:38,128 --> 00:27:41,088 Speaker 2: didn't bother me. I think that's probably like a lot 589 00:27:41,088 --> 00:27:42,568 Speaker 2: of the reason why I'm so thankful I met mind 590 00:27:42,568 --> 00:27:46,128 Speaker 2: our husband, because nothing in the past mattered. Then when 591 00:27:46,128 --> 00:27:48,848 Speaker 2: they broke up, I thought, all right, sucks for her, 592 00:27:50,088 --> 00:27:52,368 Speaker 2: and the wedding obviously never went ahead. They broke up before. 593 00:27:53,688 --> 00:27:55,408 Speaker 2: I'm not even sure if they had plans to actually 594 00:27:55,448 --> 00:27:57,288 Speaker 2: go through with the wedding. I mean, who would turn up. 595 00:27:57,288 --> 00:28:00,927 Speaker 1: Right after three years together. Anne and John's break up 596 00:28:00,968 --> 00:28:04,648 Speaker 1: barely stirred conversation within the family. In fact, it brought 597 00:28:04,648 --> 00:28:07,368 Speaker 1: a sense of relief, as though the strain of managing 598 00:28:07,448 --> 00:28:11,407 Speaker 1: family dynamics had finally reached its peace, then lifted. The 599 00:28:11,448 --> 00:28:14,568 Speaker 1: awkwardness was gone and with any need to ever speak 600 00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:15,167 Speaker 1: of it again. 601 00:28:15,688 --> 00:28:18,167 Speaker 2: Yes, Mom and Dad are the piece keepers, that is 602 00:28:18,208 --> 00:28:21,728 Speaker 2: for sure. I think once I'd split, everyone just looked 603 00:28:21,728 --> 00:28:25,128 Speaker 2: at it and thought that was a big mistake. Let's 604 00:28:25,168 --> 00:28:28,448 Speaker 2: just all move on. No point sort of rehashing it, 605 00:28:29,088 --> 00:28:31,927 Speaker 2: because once I split everyone he wasn't spoken about it again, 606 00:28:32,688 --> 00:28:34,487 Speaker 2: not to me or not to anyone that I know. 607 00:28:34,928 --> 00:28:36,687 Speaker 2: Everyone sort of just moved on. It was just a 608 00:28:36,728 --> 00:28:40,808 Speaker 2: really weird space in time, a couple of weird years 609 00:28:40,848 --> 00:28:43,528 Speaker 2: that no one brings up again. It was just like 610 00:28:44,048 --> 00:28:46,328 Speaker 2: that happened, and that was weird, Like my niece and 611 00:28:46,368 --> 00:28:48,448 Speaker 2: nephew haven't never bought it up. My mom and dad 612 00:28:48,448 --> 00:28:50,168 Speaker 2: never brought it up. It was just like that happened, 613 00:28:50,168 --> 00:28:52,888 Speaker 2: and now that's gone, and then let's just get over that, 614 00:28:52,888 --> 00:28:54,048 Speaker 2: because that was really strange. 615 00:28:54,288 --> 00:28:56,928 Speaker 1: As for a reconciliation with her sister Anne. 616 00:28:57,048 --> 00:29:00,008 Speaker 2: So our relationship before this all went down was just 617 00:29:00,048 --> 00:29:02,928 Speaker 2: like any other sister. So when I was away for 618 00:29:03,048 --> 00:29:06,528 Speaker 2: nine months, she'd send me constant photos of the kids. 619 00:29:06,568 --> 00:29:10,048 Speaker 2: I'd babysits, my niece and nephew. We were so so close. 620 00:29:10,088 --> 00:29:13,088 Speaker 2: We're just a close knit family all round. And that's 621 00:29:13,088 --> 00:29:14,928 Speaker 2: probably why it was such a shock, because I just thought, 622 00:29:15,008 --> 00:29:18,568 Speaker 2: where where is this come from? We were just like 623 00:29:18,608 --> 00:29:25,408 Speaker 2: any others is just yeah, close best friends. Yeah, probably 624 00:29:25,448 --> 00:29:29,008 Speaker 2: plays a big part in why it was so such 625 00:29:29,048 --> 00:29:31,528 Speaker 2: a shock, And so I guess in a way, I 626 00:29:31,568 --> 00:29:34,248 Speaker 2: lost him, But then I also lost her as well 627 00:29:34,248 --> 00:29:37,168 Speaker 2: because I could never especially with no apology, I could 628 00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:39,408 Speaker 2: never go back and be friends with her again. So 629 00:29:39,448 --> 00:29:40,888 Speaker 2: it was like a double whammy. I lost him and 630 00:29:40,928 --> 00:29:45,208 Speaker 2: I also lost her. That was really hard to deal 631 00:29:45,208 --> 00:29:48,608 Speaker 2: with as well, just one big loss. She's a great person, 632 00:29:49,048 --> 00:29:54,728 Speaker 2: very funny, lighthearder, just wants to have fun, always having 633 00:29:54,768 --> 00:29:58,328 Speaker 2: fun with the kids, always dancing, laughing, singing. Just yeah, 634 00:29:58,368 --> 00:30:01,608 Speaker 2: I think that's probably why me and her are so similar. 635 00:30:01,648 --> 00:30:04,008 Speaker 2: That's clearly why I guess he fell in love with 636 00:30:04,008 --> 00:30:06,808 Speaker 2: her too. We're just, yeah, very similar because we're sisters. 637 00:30:07,808 --> 00:30:08,928 Speaker 2: You know, I do miss her a lot. I do 638 00:30:08,968 --> 00:30:11,688 Speaker 2: miss our fun times together back then, before this all happened, 639 00:30:12,448 --> 00:30:14,648 Speaker 2: We've spoken on and off over the years, just like 640 00:30:15,008 --> 00:30:16,488 Speaker 2: when it's to do with the kids or when it's 641 00:30:16,488 --> 00:30:19,768 Speaker 2: a birthday or something. Then we went through stages where 642 00:30:19,808 --> 00:30:23,128 Speaker 2: we were friends, but it was just I guess I 643 00:30:23,208 --> 00:30:26,488 Speaker 2: was like fake in obaby because the hurt. It was 644 00:30:26,528 --> 00:30:29,688 Speaker 2: just next level. Now we're not too bad. I would 645 00:30:29,768 --> 00:30:31,848 Speaker 2: just text back and forth for a birthday or something. 646 00:30:31,888 --> 00:30:35,408 Speaker 2: But it never has been the same and it never 647 00:30:35,408 --> 00:30:40,768 Speaker 2: will be the same. She's never even properly apologized. She 648 00:30:40,888 --> 00:30:42,688 Speaker 2: never sat me down and was like, she just never 649 00:30:42,688 --> 00:30:44,448 Speaker 2: sat me down and said she's so sorry for what 650 00:30:44,488 --> 00:30:47,848 Speaker 2: she did with Suret's And I think, you know, a 651 00:30:47,928 --> 00:30:50,088 Speaker 2: year or two up it happened that even then that's 652 00:30:50,088 --> 00:30:53,408 Speaker 2: too little, too lay. So I think I've just had 653 00:30:53,448 --> 00:30:56,248 Speaker 2: so much hurt that I just I'm at the point 654 00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:58,368 Speaker 2: now where I'm fine, like I'm over it. But it's 655 00:30:58,408 --> 00:31:01,128 Speaker 2: the words when I think about it, that was the 656 00:31:01,168 --> 00:31:04,608 Speaker 2: downward spiral. It was just a really tough probably a 657 00:31:04,648 --> 00:31:08,448 Speaker 2: year after it happened to this day of seventeen years 658 00:31:08,488 --> 00:31:11,208 Speaker 2: later or whatever it is, it's just no apology still. 659 00:31:11,248 --> 00:31:14,408 Speaker 2: So I'm fine with it now, but that took a 660 00:31:14,408 --> 00:31:15,968 Speaker 2: long time to get over to, maybe like five or 661 00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:18,648 Speaker 2: six years, to get past the fact that I haven't heard 662 00:31:18,648 --> 00:31:21,368 Speaker 2: from anybody. I do miss her and wish things were different, 663 00:31:22,208 --> 00:31:26,088 Speaker 2: but unfortunately that's just yeah, I wish. I just wish 664 00:31:26,128 --> 00:31:28,568 Speaker 2: I had an apology. Maybe might have been easier to 665 00:31:28,608 --> 00:31:31,408 Speaker 2: get past, quicker to get past, but the fact that 666 00:31:31,448 --> 00:31:34,528 Speaker 2: no one ever apologized or said anything to me just 667 00:31:34,568 --> 00:31:37,808 Speaker 2: made it ten times harder. Well, about a year and 668 00:31:37,848 --> 00:31:42,088 Speaker 2: a half ago, our mom died suddenly and we had 669 00:31:42,128 --> 00:31:45,648 Speaker 2: to come together for that, which was hard in many ways. 670 00:31:46,208 --> 00:31:47,848 Speaker 2: But she did say to me, look, I'd love to 671 00:31:48,888 --> 00:31:50,648 Speaker 2: I'd love to be your sister again. I'd love to 672 00:31:50,688 --> 00:31:53,928 Speaker 2: let you know, get back together. Because her son, my nephew, 673 00:31:53,968 --> 00:31:56,248 Speaker 2: lives with my husband and I she does want to 674 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:59,448 Speaker 2: get back together, like just even just on a more 675 00:31:59,448 --> 00:32:01,728 Speaker 2: communication level. But I just text back and said, I 676 00:32:01,768 --> 00:32:05,488 Speaker 2: just can't do that. It just hurts me too much 677 00:32:05,848 --> 00:32:07,368 Speaker 2: to think what you've put me through when I was 678 00:32:07,408 --> 00:32:10,328 Speaker 2: so young. I just can't get past that. And maybe 679 00:32:10,328 --> 00:32:14,368 Speaker 2: if there was an apology, maybe i'd be better, but yeah, 680 00:32:14,408 --> 00:32:16,648 Speaker 2: I just can't get past it. So she's tried, but 681 00:32:16,648 --> 00:32:18,968 Speaker 2: I have been talking sixteen years later. It's just far 682 00:32:19,008 --> 00:32:21,528 Speaker 2: too late. Now she's tried, but I just I can't. 683 00:32:21,768 --> 00:32:22,568 Speaker 2: I just can't do it. 684 00:32:22,888 --> 00:32:26,168 Speaker 1: And John, well, he's well and truly ancient history. 685 00:32:26,488 --> 00:32:28,848 Speaker 2: He popped up on my Facebook as people you may know. 686 00:32:29,368 --> 00:32:31,688 Speaker 2: Because it's been so long, it's been sixteen years. I 687 00:32:31,688 --> 00:32:33,768 Speaker 2: thought maybe we could just be adult friends on Facebook. 688 00:32:34,048 --> 00:32:37,448 Speaker 2: So I added him as a friend and he's now wife. 689 00:32:37,488 --> 00:32:40,088 Speaker 2: So he's now married with two kids. His now wife 690 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:43,128 Speaker 2: sent me a message straight away on Facebook saying clear 691 00:32:43,168 --> 00:32:46,728 Speaker 2: stay away from him. And I thought, he has clearly 692 00:32:46,888 --> 00:32:49,088 Speaker 2: told her things about what's happened in the past. How 693 00:32:49,128 --> 00:32:52,008 Speaker 2: does she even know who I am? That was weird too. 694 00:32:52,288 --> 00:32:53,728 Speaker 2: I just thought you didn't know who I am, Like 695 00:32:53,728 --> 00:32:56,728 Speaker 2: I've done nothing wrong again, I just yeah, deleted the 696 00:32:56,728 --> 00:32:59,328 Speaker 2: friend requests and thought, nah, never ever going there again. 697 00:32:59,968 --> 00:33:02,968 Speaker 2: I do wonder, like when I added him on Facebook 698 00:33:02,968 --> 00:33:04,848 Speaker 2: and his now wife messaged me that, I thought, I 699 00:33:04,888 --> 00:33:08,608 Speaker 2: wonder what he's told her, what he's telling people, what happened. 700 00:33:08,608 --> 00:33:11,928 Speaker 2: Maybe he's told everyone that I'm the bad person and 701 00:33:11,928 --> 00:33:15,568 Speaker 2: that's why we split. I don't know, because surely the 702 00:33:15,568 --> 00:33:18,048 Speaker 2: average person would regret that, right, But I don't know. 703 00:33:19,408 --> 00:33:21,488 Speaker 2: Maybe some people do things like that and don't regret 704 00:33:21,488 --> 00:33:23,608 Speaker 2: it at all. I'd like to think he regrets it 705 00:33:23,648 --> 00:33:26,968 Speaker 2: and has some remorse, but certainly haven't heard anything. 706 00:33:27,448 --> 00:33:31,648 Speaker 1: Sixteen years after the shock and heartbreak, Susie still doesn't 707 00:33:31,688 --> 00:33:35,168 Speaker 1: truly know when or how it all happened, nor received 708 00:33:35,168 --> 00:33:38,168 Speaker 1: an apology, and while the hurt has never fully faded, 709 00:33:38,368 --> 00:33:41,568 Speaker 1: her journey has also been marked with plenty of silver linings. 710 00:33:41,768 --> 00:33:43,768 Speaker 2: And never got to the answers to those questions. And 711 00:33:43,808 --> 00:33:45,968 Speaker 2: I don't think. I don't think I want to know. 712 00:33:46,048 --> 00:33:48,608 Speaker 2: I never asked, so I guess I'm too scared of 713 00:33:48,648 --> 00:33:50,448 Speaker 2: the answer. What if they were together for those nine 714 00:33:50,488 --> 00:33:52,688 Speaker 2: months when I was away, that would just be another 715 00:33:52,728 --> 00:33:55,208 Speaker 2: devastating blow. I think if I got an apology today, 716 00:33:55,448 --> 00:33:58,368 Speaker 2: it was just it's just far too long gone. Maybe 717 00:33:58,408 --> 00:34:00,008 Speaker 2: a year after I would have been like, okay, but 718 00:34:00,768 --> 00:34:04,128 Speaker 2: maybe two years. But yeah, after ten fifteen years, I 719 00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:07,648 Speaker 2: just think I think she clearly doesn't care. Any normal 720 00:34:07,648 --> 00:34:11,128 Speaker 2: person would apologize. I would have thought, so, yeah, it's 721 00:34:11,208 --> 00:34:12,848 Speaker 2: far too long. Now it is a shame because I 722 00:34:12,888 --> 00:34:14,888 Speaker 2: do miss her. Probably the worst thing out of all 723 00:34:14,888 --> 00:34:18,607 Speaker 2: of it is that my sister had two kids. It's 724 00:34:18,648 --> 00:34:20,768 Speaker 2: sad when I think about it. My niece and nephew. 725 00:34:21,768 --> 00:34:22,728 Speaker 2: I missed them so much. 726 00:34:22,728 --> 00:34:25,928 Speaker 3: I didn't see them for like, well three years they 727 00:34:25,928 --> 00:34:27,567 Speaker 3: were only young, or like one and four. 728 00:34:28,368 --> 00:34:30,127 Speaker 2: I didn't see my niece is nephew for so long. 729 00:34:31,008 --> 00:34:32,047 Speaker 2: That's probably that's part. 730 00:34:32,128 --> 00:34:33,768 Speaker 3: Now I look back, it's just not being able to 731 00:34:33,808 --> 00:34:35,288 Speaker 3: see them because I wouldn't never go to their house 732 00:34:35,288 --> 00:34:37,928 Speaker 3: because it was just horrible. Like now I look back 733 00:34:37,928 --> 00:34:40,728 Speaker 3: between him and her. I'm over that, but I'm not 734 00:34:40,808 --> 00:34:42,488 Speaker 3: over the fact that I missed out so much time 735 00:34:42,488 --> 00:34:45,488 Speaker 3: with them. I miss years with them, and that still 736 00:34:45,528 --> 00:34:49,527 Speaker 3: hurts now. I've definitely grown since this all happened, that's 737 00:34:49,568 --> 00:34:53,647 Speaker 3: for sure. It's character building it in a sense. I've 738 00:34:53,648 --> 00:34:55,408 Speaker 3: been through a lot of hard times. 739 00:34:55,408 --> 00:34:58,288 Speaker 2: That my older brother died in twenty seventeen suddenly, and 740 00:34:58,288 --> 00:35:01,848 Speaker 2: then losing mum. It's been like like I'm on in 741 00:35:01,928 --> 00:35:03,768 Speaker 2: my early thirties, but it's just been like one thing 742 00:35:03,768 --> 00:35:06,328 Speaker 2: after another. And I'm just hoping that the next few 743 00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:09,248 Speaker 2: years are next five or ten years just smith sailing, 744 00:35:09,288 --> 00:35:12,408 Speaker 2: that's for sure. The last ten years has been super, 745 00:35:12,408 --> 00:35:15,687 Speaker 2: super tough. But again, my now husband and the two kids, 746 00:35:15,688 --> 00:35:18,888 Speaker 2: they keep me very busy. So I feel like sometimes 747 00:35:19,408 --> 00:35:21,607 Speaker 2: like I haven't thought about this story or him for 748 00:35:21,648 --> 00:35:24,087 Speaker 2: so long because I've just been so busy, especially with 749 00:35:24,128 --> 00:35:26,248 Speaker 2: the kids. I think that's good. I think if you're 750 00:35:26,248 --> 00:35:30,087 Speaker 2: going through something tough, keeping busy is the number one 751 00:35:30,208 --> 00:35:33,168 Speaker 2: keeping in mind. Busy, keeping busy in the morning, waking up, 752 00:35:33,208 --> 00:35:35,808 Speaker 2: have a purpose in the morning. That's got me through 753 00:35:35,848 --> 00:35:38,968 Speaker 2: for sure. Probably the only thing I regret is not 754 00:35:39,048 --> 00:35:42,968 Speaker 2: maybe saying to them but when it all happened, maybe 755 00:35:43,008 --> 00:35:46,087 Speaker 2: saying like, what are you guys doing, Like maybe telling 756 00:35:46,128 --> 00:35:48,008 Speaker 2: them how I felt like I'm so hurt by this, 757 00:35:49,008 --> 00:35:51,928 Speaker 2: you know, severely depressed, like this is horrible for me. 758 00:35:52,008 --> 00:35:54,207 Speaker 2: I'm having to move away, move towns because I can't 759 00:35:54,248 --> 00:35:57,567 Speaker 2: see you guys together. Maybe if I'd said that to them, 760 00:35:57,928 --> 00:35:59,808 Speaker 2: But then again, you know, maybe that would just be 761 00:35:59,888 --> 00:36:03,728 Speaker 2: more hopeful for me rehashing things and not made any difference. 762 00:36:03,768 --> 00:36:05,488 Speaker 2: So probably the only regret would be maybe just not 763 00:36:05,528 --> 00:36:07,488 Speaker 2: telling them how I feel. To me, it was obvious 764 00:36:07,488 --> 00:36:10,328 Speaker 2: how I felt, but maybe not to them. My husband 765 00:36:10,848 --> 00:36:16,567 Speaker 2: is the most amazing, patient, loving, caring person Like things 766 00:36:16,568 --> 00:36:18,408 Speaker 2: that I've been through in life, He's just been there 767 00:36:18,408 --> 00:36:21,168 Speaker 2: for me a thousand percent, and I think it all 768 00:36:21,168 --> 00:36:24,448 Speaker 2: stems from when we met, you know, being through this trauma. 769 00:36:25,408 --> 00:36:28,888 Speaker 2: He is just yeah, so patient, kind, It's just nothing's 770 00:36:28,888 --> 00:36:31,968 Speaker 2: the problem. We've been together for sixteen years. You know, 771 00:36:32,048 --> 00:36:34,248 Speaker 2: I've never had a fight, We never argue. It's just 772 00:36:34,328 --> 00:36:39,368 Speaker 2: the cruisiest, easiest relationship I could have ever pitched. And 773 00:36:39,408 --> 00:36:42,567 Speaker 2: we have two beautiful little girls. So yeah, life is 774 00:36:42,808 --> 00:36:45,888 Speaker 2: life is fine. Now, life is great. I've landed my 775 00:36:45,968 --> 00:36:51,008 Speaker 2: dream job where I've made some really amazing friends. So 776 00:36:51,048 --> 00:36:54,448 Speaker 2: I think just sticking at sticking at my dream job 777 00:36:54,608 --> 00:36:58,048 Speaker 2: and just seeing where that takes me is the dream 778 00:36:58,088 --> 00:37:00,608 Speaker 2: and hopefully the reality. I'm very blessed. 779 00:37:20,808 --> 00:37:23,768 Speaker 1: Everyone has an Ex's a Minti Media production and proudly 780 00:37:23,888 --> 00:37:26,728 Speaker 1: part of the Muma Mea Network. This episode is written 781 00:37:26,728 --> 00:37:30,888 Speaker 1: and produced by Linda Scott. Interview conducted by Rafaela Chicarelli 782 00:37:30,928 --> 00:37:33,448 Speaker 1: and narrated by me Georgia Love. If you have a 783 00:37:33,488 --> 00:37:36,527 Speaker 1: story you'd like to share, email podcast at momameia dot 784 00:37:36,568 --> 00:37:39,168 Speaker 1: com dot au. You can support us by following the 785 00:37:39,208 --> 00:37:41,488 Speaker 1: show in your favorite podcast app and leaving a five 786 00:37:41,528 --> 00:37:44,408 Speaker 1: star review. We'll see you for the next episode.