1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Sees the Yay Podcast. Busy and happy, 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: but tired and worn, just some of the feelings when 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: baby is born. There's magic, elation, there's chaos and tears, 4 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 1: but everyone goes through the same hopes and fears. So 5 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:16,240 Speaker 1: this is a segment we hope helps you feel supported 6 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: and valid. The mum juggles real, the good, bad, the ugly, 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: the best and worst day. It's part of the journey. 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 2: To seize the Babe. 9 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 1: I'm Sarah Davidson, a lawyer turned entrepreneur who hung up 10 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: the suits and heels to co found Macha Maiden a 11 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,239 Speaker 1: Macha Milk Bar, become a TV and radio presenter, and 12 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,199 Speaker 1: of course, host The Sees the Ya Podcast. This year, 13 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: I added motherhood to that list, which is the best 14 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: job I've ever had with our beautiful baby Teddy, and 15 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: this segment was designed to house all the conversations we've 16 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,520 Speaker 1: been having about parenthood. We'll still do our regular episodes, 17 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: and just like real life, it's a constant balance between 18 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: our parent identity and everything else. I hope you guys 19 00:00:52,560 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: enjoy this segment as much as I have enjoyed creating it. Hello, 20 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: Lovely neighborhood. I hope you've all had an amazing week. 21 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: We certainly have at this end celebrating Teddy's first birthday. 22 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 2: I think the. 23 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,039 Speaker 1: Exact phrase that I used last week was that I 24 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: was a walking hot mess of emotions as this very 25 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: special milestone approached, and it only intensified tenfold, maybe even 26 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 1: one hundredfold, as the celebrations began, which started with a 27 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: lovely intimate family dinner on the actual day, just with 28 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: our close family at home. We did a little traditional 29 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: Korean takeaway dinner, not very aesthetic, but it's a family tradition. 30 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 2: Teddy tried his first book. 31 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: Goggie, which he really enjoyed. We got him into his 32 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: harm bok, you might remember for his hundred day celebration 33 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 1: we borrowed one, but he finally fits into my little 34 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,839 Speaker 1: brothers so that was a really special, full circle moment. 35 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: And then a couple of days later we followed it 36 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: up with a little birthday party. I don't think anyone 37 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: truly prepares you for the feelings that will hit you 38 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: when all of your loved ones, your whole village starts 39 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: singing Happy Birthday to your baby on their first birthday. 40 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: I don't even know how I did not just pass 41 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: away on the spot. It was so emotional and so beautiful. 42 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: I just really still I was only yesterday at the 43 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: time of recording, so I haven't really processed all of 44 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 1: those emotions. But if you did listen to the throwback 45 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: episode to our birth story last week, you will, of 46 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: course remember the timing of Teddy's birth that still gives 47 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: me goosebumps to think about how it was all meant 48 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: to be, and that is that he of course arrived 49 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:32,399 Speaker 1: a little bit early, right on thirty eight weeks on 50 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: the dot, which was just a couple of days before 51 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: my own birthday, which I share with my younger brother, 52 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: which in itself is pretty crazy. We were both born 53 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 1: to different biological families and then adopted together. He's four 54 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: years younger, but somehow we were born on the exact 55 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: same day, which happens to be today this year, and 56 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:56,799 Speaker 1: only three days after Teddy. So today I'm recording on 57 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,799 Speaker 1: the morning of my. 58 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 2: Thirty sixth birthday. 59 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: So it really did feel last year like Teddy was 60 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 1: the best birthday present I ever could have imagined, and 61 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: I think it'd be pretty hard to top last year. 62 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: Sitting there, you know, three days after giving birth and 63 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: just reflecting on how incredible that was. There will never 64 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: be a birthday a special as that, but I am 65 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 1: so grateful to be sitting here this morning with a 66 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 1: healthy one year old and a beautiful family and so 67 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: many friends around us that we have spent the weekend with. 68 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: It's funny it's the first year that I am closer 69 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,079 Speaker 1: to forty than thirty officially, and it's one of those 70 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: things that I think there is a lot of sadness 71 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: maybe or resistance to aging. Of course that's such a 72 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: big part of our societal norms. But one thing I 73 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: always come back to when I start to feel like, 74 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: oh my goodness, I am no longer. Definitely can't ever 75 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 1: say that I'm in my early thirties anymore. Possibly can 76 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: stretch and keep using mid thirties for a little while. 77 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: But every time I start to feel those feels, I 78 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,119 Speaker 1: just come back to a quote that if you've been 79 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: listening for a while, you've definitely heard me say probably 80 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: every birthday, maybe every news episode. And the quote that 81 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 1: keeps me grounded when I feel that way is to 82 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 1: never regret growing older, for it is a privilege denied 83 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 1: to many, and that just reminds me how lucky we 84 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: are to have every day and that, yeah, aging really 85 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: is a privilege that you should never take for granted. 86 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: So I'm trying to sit here and feel very, very 87 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: lucky to be a healthy thirty six year old and 88 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 1: to be spending my morning with you guys. In a 89 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: little deer diary sees the baby reflection, which I haven't 90 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: really planned or scripted like I usually would. You might 91 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,799 Speaker 1: already be able to tell the wild tangents and stream 92 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,280 Speaker 1: of consciousness and verbal diary that's coming out right now. 93 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: Normally my legal brain insists on a few dot points 94 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: to kind of keep me on track. But it has 95 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: of course been a well win few days pulling the 96 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: party together. Actually a well winned three hundred and sixty 97 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 1: five days and more. But I guess that's all been 98 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: part of the big adjustment to this new chapter. It's 99 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: all those extra little things that I used to have 100 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: endless time for and be able to give up one hundred, 101 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: one hundred and ten one hundred and fifty percent to 102 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: to make them absolutely perfect. It's just been having to 103 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: learn to cope with just getting them done, or in fact, 104 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: not getting half of them done. I'm just getting a 105 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: few of them done. I really would love to have 106 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: been able to plan things a lot better in podcast land, 107 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,919 Speaker 1: in workland, in everything, but in friendships and relationships. But 108 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 1: that really leads me to the first big lesson that 109 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,039 Speaker 1: I've had to learn, and that has been actually probably 110 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 1: something I needed to learn, very humbling and a wonderful 111 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: lesson of parenthood. I don't really know who this episode 112 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: is for, by the way, Maybe for other parents in 113 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: solidarity with all the feelings and reflections, maybe just for 114 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: me to look back on. As you know, I love 115 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: to use the podcast as a little time capsule for 116 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: who I am. But I thought i would share the 117 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: top ten lessons and reflections that I've had over the 118 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 1: past year, and I'm sure that many more will get 119 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 1: added as Teddy inches further into toddlerland, where things get. 120 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 2: Hard are different. 121 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: I feel like every new level has new herds and 122 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: new easies. 123 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 2: But here we go. 124 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: So my first big and probably the biggest of all, 125 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,160 Speaker 1: coming back to that idea of not being able to 126 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,159 Speaker 1: give one hundred and ten percent to everything like I 127 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: used to, is that one of the biggest anxiety's apprehension 128 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: often fear about becoming a parent, even when you just 129 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: start trying, is the idea of sacrifice, that you sacrifice 130 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: your time, your sleep, your freedom, your spontaneity. There are 131 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 1: so many things that you do think of as losing, 132 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: and that's a really big fear, of course it is. 133 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: It's something you can't really understand before you do it, 134 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: before you go through it, and it does feel like 135 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: a big exchange of one thing for another. But I 136 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: think I focused a lot in the lead up on 137 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: what that would mean and how that would feel. But 138 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: the minute that Teddy was born, I realized, yes, I 139 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: lost the person I was before. I don't even remember 140 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: who that person was. I don't remember what that life 141 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: felt like. But it's what you gain in its place. 142 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: You lose parts of your identity, but you gain a 143 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,360 Speaker 1: new identity that is so much better. It is so 144 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: much more multifaceted. My emotions are so much deeper, my 145 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: life is so much richer. And it's just something I 146 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 1: never could have explained before it actually happened, because I 147 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: was so focused on what I would lose. And that's 148 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: because that's all you know before you know, as I've 149 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: talked about before, before you arrive on planet parent and 150 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: realize what everyone else is experiencing. So I think if 151 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 1: you have ever focused on fearing what you'll lose, try 152 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: and think of that, you'll gain so much more in 153 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: its place. And it was put so beautifully recently in 154 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: a video of Ellen Pompio, the star of Gray's Anatomy. 155 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: It came out on the Call Her Daddy podcast. I 156 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: think it's quite recent. I saw a snippet my wonderful 157 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: friend manager role model Genevieve Day sent it to me. 158 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: I've had actually a couple of people send it to me, 159 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: and it was her talking about this idea of never 160 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: being one hundred percent at work. I think there is 161 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: a lot of pressure in our modern day, fast paced 162 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: society to interpret the jugglers meaning that you do everything, 163 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: and you do everything one hundred percent as a mom, 164 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: at work, at home, in your personal life and your relationships. 165 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: But she just called it was a big surrender. You 166 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: are not one hundred percent at work. You cannot be 167 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: a mother and have children and have a career and 168 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: give one hundred percent to your job at the same time. 169 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,679 Speaker 1: And I really liked that she just called that upfront, 170 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: because sometimes I really do feel like I'm trying to 171 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: do one hundred percent to all of it, and I can't, 172 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: but sometimes just accepting that you can't causes you a 173 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: lot less angst. And the way she put it was 174 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: that you are split into lots of different pieces, but 175 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 1: it makes you more soulful, it makes you richer. Those 176 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: are the exact words that she used, and I just 177 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: wanted to save it and send it to everyone and 178 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,680 Speaker 1: plaster the video on my head and put it on 179 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: a moving T shirt because that is exactly what I 180 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 1: feel has been my biggest lesson over the past year, 181 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: that you are split into a hundred different pieces. I 182 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: don't think I'll ever be one hundred percent focused on 183 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 1: anything ever again, and particularly if we have more children. 184 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: And I've lamented that so much because I'm just such 185 00:08:55,679 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: a perfectionist, but the things you get in return and 186 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: the life you get in return is just worth infinitely more. 187 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: To watch a tiny human and be their guardian, be 188 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: the person that guides them through the world. There's nothing better. 189 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: Having said that, though, number two, the second thing that 190 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: has also been a big act of surrender and acceptance 191 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,319 Speaker 1: is that it is at once the best thing and 192 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: the hardest thing I've ever done. It's hard in a 193 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: way I never have conceived of. I've actually said to 194 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: someone recently that I think the language that you use 195 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: pre parenthood and the language that you use postparenthood should 196 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: not be the same words because they don't describe the 197 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: same thing. The word hard doesn't mean the same, the 198 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: word tired doesn't mean the same. So we really just 199 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: should have a new language so everyone knows what page 200 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: we're on. It is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, 201 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,360 Speaker 1: and I've always been somebody to embrace getting out of 202 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: my comfort zone to do things I didn't think I 203 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,079 Speaker 1: could do. But I have never sat on the floor 204 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: and cried feeling like this is impossible, like I have 205 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: since having a baby. But at the same time, I 206 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 1: think one of the things someone said to me, I 207 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,959 Speaker 1: think it was just before we took Teddy overseas when 208 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: he was really little, was that, of course, it will 209 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: be the hardest thing you've ever done, and some experiences 210 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: and moments in chapters will be harder than others. But 211 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: looking back, you only remember the good bits. And that's 212 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: really interesting because especially a year on and looking back 213 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: that is so true. Of course you remember that you 214 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: had hard times. And it's the same in life. It's 215 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,839 Speaker 1: such a good life lesson for when you get out 216 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: of the comfort zone. You look back at times you 217 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: did something really hard that felt impossible, even times you 218 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 1: broke a leg or you broke an arm, anything that 219 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,679 Speaker 1: kind of encompasses pain. You look back at that and 220 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: you know logically that there was pain. You know logically 221 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 1: you remember that it was hard, but you can't feel 222 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: that pain again in your memory. You don't actually feel 223 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 1: it again. Every time you look back, you logically remember it, 224 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: but not emotionally. And what overrides that is that emotionally 225 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: you do remember the good bits. And I feel like 226 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,559 Speaker 1: it's like when you finish a marathon, that I finished 227 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 1: a marathon, but you know that kind of analogy. You 228 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 1: finish the hardest thing you've ever done, and like a 229 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 1: week later, you've forgotten how much it hurts, but you 230 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 1: remember what an achievement was. That's the same with any 231 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: time you do something hard, and it's the same with parenthood. 232 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: I look back at that trip and sure, taking a 233 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: newborn on a plane was absolutely crazy. At the time, 234 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 1: it was so scary and it was really really hard, 235 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 1: and there were moments at the time where I was like, 236 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: this is the worst thing I've ever done, But I 237 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: logically know that I don't emotionally remember that. I emotionally 238 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: remember the best memories that will always come back to 239 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 1: me as the good bit. So if you're ever in 240 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: doubt about doing something and you're in the hard moment 241 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,959 Speaker 1: at the time, you won't remember that bit, You'll remember 242 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: the overarching beautiful memories. Pain is something you only feel 243 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: at the time, and I think that's yeah, really helped 244 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: guide me in those moments that feel really tough. Number 245 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: three is kind of similar. They're all really closely related. Again, 246 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,719 Speaker 1: I don't really know who this is for. I think 247 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 1: it is more a dear diary download that in the 248 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: way that I use all social media, there's something that 249 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,199 Speaker 1: I share what I'm doing in real time, and then 250 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:06,600 Speaker 1: if anyone incidentally benefits, then that's just a bonus. Number 251 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: three is that it's so cliche and it's so annoying 252 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 1: when you're not a parent and everyone tells you, oh 253 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: my god, the time passes more quickly than anyone could 254 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,080 Speaker 1: ever explain to you, But then you get there and 255 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: it is truly faster than you could ever imagine. Truly 256 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: faster than you could ever imagine. Again, referring back to 257 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,959 Speaker 1: a meme, I saw a mem yesterday that was re 258 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 1: enactment of adults having dinner, and it was a scene 259 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,599 Speaker 1: where instead of actually having a conversation, it was just 260 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,199 Speaker 1: the adults saying the topic of what adults sit down 261 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,320 Speaker 1: and talk about, and it was them going, ha, time passing, ha, 262 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,600 Speaker 1: the weather, mortgage, baby, kids, kids, tired, back. 263 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:44,960 Speaker 2: Pain, ha. 264 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, that's all I talk about, 265 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: how fast time is going, how much my kids are 266 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 1: annoying me, how how much my back hurts, and how 267 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 1: much I'm not sleeping. But truly, the time passes just 268 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: so quickly. I blinked, and my newborn is a little 269 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: one year year old. And on that same token, the 270 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: other thing I've actually written down everywhere. I have it 271 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: written down in my diary, it's on my mirror. Everything 272 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 1: is temporary, and that applies to the good and the bad. 273 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,200 Speaker 1: So if you're in a really hard moment right now, 274 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: we are in, as you guys know, another sleep regression. 275 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: We are barely sleeping, and you just come back to 276 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: the fact that you can cope and you can get 277 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 1: through it because it's temporary. You don't know how long 278 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 1: it will last, but it won't be forever. And that 279 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 1: applies to the good times as well. When you're in 280 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: a really good chapter, hold on to it with everything 281 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 1: you have, because that also will be temporary and won't last. 282 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 1: Time does pass really quickly, it will happen really quickly. 283 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,839 Speaker 1: So embrace every chapter that you're in. And I also 284 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 1: think you will never regret spending time. 285 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 2: With your kids. 286 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 1: Whether it costs you. You know, it'll cost you so 287 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 1: many things. It's cost me work opportunities, it's cost me 288 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,760 Speaker 1: social opportunities. In the middle of sleep deprivation, it's cost 289 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 1: me it's sanity. Also, him not being able to be 290 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 1: put to bed by anyone else at the means I 291 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,199 Speaker 1: can't go out at night. I've had to say, notice 292 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: so many things, But I don't think I will ever 293 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: look back, knowing how fast it's going, and regret every 294 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 1: second that I could spend with him being spent with him. 295 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 1: And I flip it to you know, I was on 296 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 1: the in the cot last night at six times and 297 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: I just thought, yes, I could focus on how horrible 298 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: this season. Yes, of course it's okay to be having 299 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: a mental breakdown about it, but try and flip it 300 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 1: to the fact that one day he will be sleeping 301 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 1: in his own bed, or one day he will have 302 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: moved out of our house and he won't want me 303 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 1: or need me the way he does right now, and 304 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: I will wish I could go back and have this moment. 305 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 2: So flipping it. 306 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 1: To that temporal, temporary, fleeting time kind of message always 307 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: helps me get through Number four. Coming back to that 308 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: idea that you will only remember the good bits sometimes 309 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 1: and actually a lot of the time, I've realized the 310 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: kind of logistical hurdles and obstacles to leaving the house 311 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: with a child are insurmountable. They are so difficult. It 312 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: is infinitely more difficult to even go to the supermarket, 313 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 1: let alone, to go to a party, to go on 314 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 1: a trip, to travel, and you know, in a world 315 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 1: where we're all tired and we're trying to do self 316 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 1: care and we're trying to pick up all the boxes, 317 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: past me would have said, you know what, you stay 318 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 1: at home. It's too hard. You don't have to do 319 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: the hard things, and of course you don't. But this party, 320 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: for example, in that main I was like, you know what, 321 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: he's not going to remember it it's so hard. We're 322 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 1: coming back from a troop. 323 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 2: It's a lot for all of us. 324 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: You know, we don't need to do it. But the 325 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 1: fourth lesson I've learned is that maybe I'm not doing 326 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 1: it for him because he won't remember it, and maybe 327 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 1: I'm not even doing it for me right now, because 328 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 1: I will be I'd happily have spent the weekend just 329 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: as a family, But is to do things for your 330 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: future self. Do things like the party, or you know, 331 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: do things like going on troops, even though it's really 332 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: hard and easier to stay at home where all your 333 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: comforts are. Do those things because your future self and 334 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 1: their future self will be so glad that you did. 335 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: And it's so true again with that thing that you 336 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 1: only remember the good bits. You'll look back and be 337 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 1: so glad you did the hard thing. You won't remember 338 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: how hard it was. 339 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 2: You remember how beautiful it was. 340 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: And that kept me going when I was party planning 341 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: and thinking, oh my god, my kid is not even 342 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: going to remember this, but it was the most beautiful day. 343 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: It's only been one day, and all I remember was 344 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: how special it was. I'll always look back on the 345 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 1: photos and videos and just be so glad we did it. 346 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: Number five and this is where they start to get 347 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: just like the same as life lessons. They're the same 348 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,200 Speaker 1: as all the life lessons I teach myself, and I 349 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 1: feel like kids really make that more acute and they 350 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: you don't have the same latitude and leeway to not 351 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: realize these life lessons, I think, and number five is 352 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 1: just comparison is futile. I talk about it all the time. 353 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: The grass is green, then you order it. I've said 354 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 1: it in so many different ways, and everyone has said 355 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: it in so many different ways, but it's easier said 356 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: than done in a time where social media splashes the 357 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 1: details of everyone's lives. 358 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 2: I've always talked. 359 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: About it more in the sense of other people's success, careers, pathways, 360 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 1: travel houses, financial positions, whatever it may be. But there's 361 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: nothing like the way you compare yourself as a parent. 362 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: It's just even more intense the comparison of my kids 363 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:14,000 Speaker 1: not doing this. They I even sometimes find myself analyzing 364 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,959 Speaker 1: in the background of someone's photo of their child what 365 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,159 Speaker 1: food is on their plate at what age, and how 366 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 1: much they're eating and how big the size of the 367 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: pieces are. Because Teddy can't chew pieces that big like 368 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 1: the comparison. I think because you do want to be 369 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 1: the best mum and you do want the best for 370 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 1: your child. It's just insane the way you'll beat yourself 371 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:35,199 Speaker 1: up about crazy things and small triggers or you know, 372 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 1: they all start doing different milestones at different times, in 373 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 1: no particular order, for no particular reason. Why is he 374 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,239 Speaker 1: walking before my child? Why is he you know, all 375 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,640 Speaker 1: the things, there's always something that you can compare, and 376 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 1: it is truly futile. Firstly, it all works out in 377 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 1: the wash. I mean, kids who do some things first 378 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,680 Speaker 1: will do other things second, and vice versa. It really 379 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: doesn't matter in what order they do things. I find 380 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 1: myself wishing and rush that he would crawl and then walk, 381 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 1: and then the minute happens, you're like, oh my god, 382 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 1: I should slow down. I really loved when I could 383 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: put him down in one spot and he'd be there 384 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:10,280 Speaker 1: when I came back. Not only is comparison futile for that, 385 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 1: but every baby is different. And not only is every 386 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 1: baby different, every family, every family's priorities and values and 387 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: life setup is different and it has to work for you, 388 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: and that's the same in your life. I always say, 389 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 1: why would you bother comparing your life to someone else 390 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 1: when they have a different threshold for social interaction, or 391 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,960 Speaker 1: they really need to work in an office and you don't, 392 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 1: or they have different financial obligations and you don't like 393 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 1: you don't know why people do the things they do 394 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 1: and why the criteria for their life means they make 395 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 1: the choices they do. So your life is always going 396 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 1: to be different and it has to work for you. 397 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 1: There are certain things that I look at and I'm like, 398 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,919 Speaker 1: that is absolutely amazing how that mum does that, But 399 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: it wouldn't work for me to do that. My life 400 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 1: structure is so different to all of my friends who 401 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 1: are still in corporate. Of course, our setup is going 402 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: to be completely different. I work from home, they're in 403 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: the office all day. There are just so many things 404 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:05,320 Speaker 1: that make your life just unable to be compared, and 405 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,479 Speaker 1: your children unable to be compared. 406 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,400 Speaker 2: So of course it's. 407 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,119 Speaker 1: Natural to find yourself doing that. But please please be 408 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 1: kind to yourself and try to put on the blinkers 409 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,400 Speaker 1: and just remember all you have to do is look 410 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 1: after you and your little is. 411 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 2: Especially with sleep. Oh my god, it's so hard. 412 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,919 Speaker 1: Number six similar, I'm getting really long wounded. I meant 413 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 1: this to be really short, but as you guys know, 414 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 1: I haven't taken a breath so far. This is quite unusual, actually, 415 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 1: that I haven't stopped in the stream of consciousness at 416 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,639 Speaker 1: least to re record one part or the other. So 417 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,920 Speaker 1: you're really getting real and raw Sarah here, which you 418 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,400 Speaker 1: usually do, but this is even more unedited and unfiltered. 419 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:40,160 Speaker 2: Number six. 420 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,600 Speaker 1: You won't get everything right. In fact, I don't even 421 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 1: know if there is a right or wrong. But your 422 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,919 Speaker 1: little ones are really resilient. Be kind to yourself. I 423 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,439 Speaker 1: just find myself thinking, oh my gosh, I am not 424 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: cooking him sources from scratch. I'm giving him some things 425 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: from a packet. Sometimes I am getting myself takeaway and 426 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: spending too much on uberys and blah blah blah. And 427 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: there's so many boxes coming back to that one hundred percent, 428 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 1: You'll never give everything one hundred percent. There's so many 429 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 1: boxes you need to tick, and we're all going to 430 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 1: be ticking different ones, well, not ticking other ones, forgetting 431 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: about other ones. And it's so easy to just beat 432 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: yourself up about being either a failure or about parent, 433 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: or a bad friend or about person you won't get 434 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,159 Speaker 1: everything right. It's just not possible. Remember Ellen Pompeo saying, 435 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: you just cannot do it, or you will be split 436 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: into a million different pieces. And especially when it comes 437 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 1: to parenting. I look at all the ways that I 438 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,879 Speaker 1: am trying to be the ideal parent, and I'm not 439 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 1: meeting most of them. I want to make all of 440 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: his food from scratch. I want to be feeding him 441 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 1: beef broth that's organic from the blah blah blah blah. 442 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 2: I can't. 443 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: I don't have time for that because I also want 444 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 1: to be a working mum that's saving his school fees 445 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,640 Speaker 1: and all of that kind of thing. And I think 446 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: you just have to let yourself off the hook. They 447 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,159 Speaker 1: are loved, if they're safe and clean and fed, you know, 448 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 1: they're resilient little things. 449 00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,120 Speaker 2: They're adaptable. 450 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 1: And one of the biggest lessons and this is the 451 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 1: same in business that really helped prepare me for for 452 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: this time of my life, and that's if there's something 453 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: that is really really causing you anxiety and pain and distress, 454 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: and if it is within your means, outsource what you 455 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: are really not enjoying and keep the things to do 456 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,160 Speaker 1: for yourself that you do enjoyer that you're good at 457 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 1: and that you know it's already a really really stressful time. 458 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,400 Speaker 1: Don't keep beating yourself over the head. Like an example, 459 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 1: for me to make my own chicken stock and broth 460 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,160 Speaker 1: like or sauces from scratch. It's just it would take 461 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: up so much bandwidth and take me away from the 462 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: other things that I know I am good at meeting 463 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,920 Speaker 1: the standard that I want to meet. It is okay 464 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 1: if I give him packet food or packet sauce every 465 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:45,639 Speaker 1: now and then, it's fine. 466 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,159 Speaker 2: Like, give yourself a break. 467 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 1: Choose the things that you really care about, and those 468 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:50,720 Speaker 1: can be the things. 469 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 2: That you do. 470 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,119 Speaker 1: That's a really long, way winded way of saying that 471 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: you won't get everything right, but give yourself a break. 472 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 1: And actually number seven, I don't know why I put 473 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: this as a separate DOB. I think I meant to 474 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,640 Speaker 1: I don't know niche down in this description, but it 475 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,159 Speaker 1: was to choose the path of least resistance. It's okay 476 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,479 Speaker 1: to do that. Sometimes you don't have to make it 477 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: so hard for yourself. Sometimes we choose the harder thing 478 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 1: because we think we have to, and then that comes 479 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,360 Speaker 1: back to comparison. But it's okay to do the easy thing. 480 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 1: Sometimes I catch myself going that is so lazy, like 481 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 1: I should have just like I don't even know what 482 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 1: an example is when I like even small things like 483 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 1: buying disposable nappies, I would love to use reusable nappies. 484 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:31,920 Speaker 1: I would love that to be the area where I'm 485 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: more sustainable, and they sustainability is one of my core values, 486 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,160 Speaker 1: and it feels really dissonant to sometimes not always live 487 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 1: up to that. But sometimes it's okay to choose the 488 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 1: path of least resistance. Sometimes it's a matter of survival 489 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,840 Speaker 1: because you can't again choose the hard thing or the 490 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,360 Speaker 1: right thing or one hundred and ten percent thing every 491 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,479 Speaker 1: single time. Again, that was two points that were kind 492 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: of really similar. I think maybe I just wanted to 493 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 1: get to ten and I only had nine, and I 494 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 1: had to separate them out. Oh my gosh, number eight 495 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 1: big one. If you have listened to the podcast for 496 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,199 Speaker 1: a while, you'll just be like, Babe, these are all 497 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: the same dot points in life lessons that you go 498 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,439 Speaker 1: on about all the time. But I think I've just 499 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 1: relearnt them all in a different context and had to 500 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,679 Speaker 1: apply them to this new context of parenthood. And again, 501 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,719 Speaker 1: most of it is just saying, don't worry. If you're 502 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:19,399 Speaker 1: a failure, it's okay. So hopefully that's relatable to anyone else. 503 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 1: Number eight, you can't do it alone. It is okay 504 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,680 Speaker 1: to lean on people, but not just is it okay. 505 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 1: It's actually the best thing to have a village. It 506 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 1: is the best thing to surround your little one and 507 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 1: yourself and your family with lots of different influences. The 508 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 1: way that Teddy, even in one two hour period of 509 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 1: having so many different kids around at his party, so 510 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 1: many different adults around, so many different sounds and smells, 511 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,679 Speaker 1: they develop so much for the experience. We took him 512 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 1: to Tazzy and I thought, oh my god, he's going 513 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 1: to be out of routine, out on the road for 514 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 1: five days in a row, and he's going to be 515 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 1: held by different people. He's going to be oh my gosh, 516 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: and he developed more than I've seen him in months. 517 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 1: It is so good for them to be exposed to 518 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 1: a wide village. But it's so good for you as well, 519 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:08,159 Speaker 1: because you need lots of different influences, You need lots 520 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 1: of different help. I'm so lucky to have so many 521 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: close family members and close friends nearby, but even people 522 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 1: you aren't as close to our people at cafes who 523 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,359 Speaker 1: you see every day, people in your mother's group, or 524 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 1: people who I meet online have been huge helps. There's 525 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 1: been so many sleep consultants who I've never met in 526 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 1: person but who have become an incidental part of the 527 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: village because we've connected over sleep stories. No one can 528 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,919 Speaker 1: do it alone, but also no one should do it alone, 529 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,560 Speaker 1: because not only do you need other people in the 530 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 1: hard moments, in the good moments. Yesterday, looking around I 531 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 1: will never forget. And it's the only part we don't 532 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:46,160 Speaker 1: have a photo of because all the cameras were focusing 533 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 1: on Teddy getting his cake, but I was looking back 534 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,919 Speaker 1: at everyone's faces. I will never forget looking around at 535 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,919 Speaker 1: all the people who were part of his village and 536 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 1: have made him into the child he is, but made 537 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: me into the parent I am. And that was just 538 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 1: so special to think I get to sh share this 539 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,119 Speaker 1: sharing like I'm one of those people that if I 540 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,400 Speaker 1: don't share a milestone, it doesn't mean anything. If I'm 541 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 1: just quiet about something and just keep it inside. I 542 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,119 Speaker 1: haven't really realized it yet, and Andre and I I 543 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 1: think you've probably heard us talk about it before. We 544 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: call it stomping. We have to stomp out something we're 545 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: excited about. If you don't stomp with someone and share it, 546 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,879 Speaker 1: it's not exciting because you've kept it in your body. 547 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,359 Speaker 1: And I feel like that's the same with parenting. You 548 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: can't cry alone, but you also can't celebrate alone. And again, 549 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: it's okay to lean on people. And I'm sure that 550 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 1: this will have new meaning for me as well when 551 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,359 Speaker 1: we move on to daycare and kinder and school and 552 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,639 Speaker 1: the idea of feeling so guilty for leaving them with 553 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,800 Speaker 1: other people, but it's good for them. It's okay to 554 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 1: lean on other people. It's okay to not be the 555 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 1: only person they see all day every day, and it's 556 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 1: probably good for them as well. So I'm sure this 557 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,200 Speaker 1: one will have new meaning in due course. 558 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,360 Speaker 2: Number nine, guys, I've really. 559 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 1: Stretched out to ten. I think I probably could have 560 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: consolidated this a little bit better, but one that keeps 561 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 1: me going in the moments where I think, I really 562 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 1: I think this is number six or five, I don't know, 563 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,880 Speaker 1: maybe seven anyway, slightly differently worded, but it came back 564 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 1: to me when I was writing these stop points very quickly, 565 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 1: so it must be an important one. And I'd rather 566 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: regret doing something than regret not doing it. And on 567 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,960 Speaker 1: a really small scale, our tazzy trip recently, it was 568 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,679 Speaker 1: for a travel job for Luxury Escapes, who are a 569 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: brand we love working with. I haven't actually had the 570 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 1: founder on yet, but the founder, Adam Schwab, is an 571 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 1: incredible human being who, in a full circle moment, actually 572 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 1: happened to be the person I spoke to when I 573 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: couldn't decide whether or not to leave law. He was 574 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,160 Speaker 1: a contact of a client of mine and we had 575 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 1: a lunch and he just changed my life with the 576 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,199 Speaker 1: advice that he gave. He's been a huge influence in 577 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:52,280 Speaker 1: our life. And then also one of the heads of 578 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 1: partnerships is a dear friend from a totally different chapter 579 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,439 Speaker 1: of our lives. Anyway, really really beautiful experience. But I 580 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 1: did think Teddy's not sleeping, We're going to be out 581 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,199 Speaker 1: on the road. He's going to have no routine whatsoever, 582 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 1: how we're going to feed him, there's no micro blah 583 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,679 Speaker 1: blah blah, like. There were so many obstacles And I 584 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,920 Speaker 1: always think, and I've always applied this outside of parenting. 585 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,439 Speaker 1: I would actually rather regret doing it. I'd rather do 586 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: it and find it really hard, then wonder what it 587 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,800 Speaker 1: would have been like. And I feel like doing things 588 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,359 Speaker 1: that way and making choices that way have always made 589 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 1: me come through my life and not regret anything. I 590 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,480 Speaker 1: actually can safely say there are things that didn't go 591 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 1: the way I hope they did. There are things I 592 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 1: cringe about, there are things I wish maybe went differently, 593 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,800 Speaker 1: but I don't regret any of those things because I 594 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,719 Speaker 1: don't think I could have made a different decision at 595 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: the time. 596 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,520 Speaker 2: And that is an incredibly. 597 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:40,639 Speaker 1: Liberating, happy way to live your life. Sure I regret 598 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 1: the outcomes of certain things, but I never regret the 599 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,199 Speaker 1: choice that I made in relation to them, unless I 600 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 1: didn't make it with that lens. So that's something that's 601 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 1: really stuck with me. Number ten And this is such 602 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 1: a weird one to end on, and so not the 603 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: sort of big emotional, meaningful quote that I did this 604 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 1: in the wrong order. Guys, you're hearing the in real time, 605 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 1: but it's a practical one because it's right in the 606 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,320 Speaker 1: forefront of my mind. And that is when you do 607 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 1: become a parent, and especially in your first year, because 608 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,480 Speaker 1: set yourself up right the first time. 609 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 2: Deal with your photos, videos. 610 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 1: And memories as you go, take notes as you go. 611 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 1: Don't get to the first birthday and realize you haven't 612 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: done it all along, and then try and remember everything, 613 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:23,159 Speaker 1: because I remember very little of very big chunks. But 614 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 1: I have kept even just a note on your phone. 615 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 1: I'm looking at it right now. The notes for this 616 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 1: episode are in my phone, and just below it are 617 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 1: the notes for every week of the fifty two weeks 618 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 1: of Teddy so far, just noting when he did certain 619 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 1: new sounds, certain new facial expressions, when he crawled for 620 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 1: the first time, when he even tried to reach for something, 621 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: you know, when he giggled, and all those things that 622 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 1: you will never remember off the top of your head, 623 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 1: and you might wish that one day you could look 624 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 1: back at them, even just dot points. They're not even 625 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,040 Speaker 1: full sentences. The first night he slept through the night, 626 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 1: the first tooth that he got, all of those scenes. 627 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: And same with photos. You take fifty thousand photos these days, 628 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 1: our parents, it's had to be so much more selective, 629 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 1: with twenty four pieces of twenty four photos on a 630 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 1: camera roll, which made them so much more selective and 631 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 1: possibly a bit, you know, more discerning about the photos 632 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: they take. We take eighty five million, and then of 633 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,280 Speaker 1: course we're going to get a new fine every now 634 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 1: and then, and the storage is going to run out 635 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff. I feel like one 636 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: of the things that I started too late, to be fair, 637 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 1: I think it was like six months in and then 638 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 1: I had to spend like a week and a half 639 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: doing it. But I'm glad that I started then and 640 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 1: not now. And that's also cataloging all the photos, getting 641 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,480 Speaker 1: rid of the triples and quadruples of the same photo, 642 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 1: and organizing them into folders and backing them up so 643 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,120 Speaker 1: that you can always look back at them. You never 644 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 1: lose any really special ones. They're really really special ones. 645 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 1: Print them or put them in a photo book. I 646 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: did a big post. I got a lot of recommendations. 647 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: I asked for your recommendations on memory. 648 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 2: Books or photo books? 649 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 1: Are apps to use to kind of catalog better? And 650 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: how you do it and how often you do it? 651 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: And I put them all in a post, which is 652 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,840 Speaker 1: so helpful, just to make sure that those treasured memories 653 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,720 Speaker 1: never lost and that you do actually get to look 654 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 1: back and enjoy them, because it's so easy to just 655 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 1: take a million and ever look back at them. So 656 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,360 Speaker 1: I think that would be my one practical tip is to, yeah, 657 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 1: do all those things as you go, knowing that you 658 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 1: won't be able to remember them off the top of 659 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 1: your head. And that's kind of another favor for your 660 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: future self, which comes back to them before. So it 661 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: all kind of links in. Really, this was just a 662 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 1: big babble of like three different things that I extended 663 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:27,200 Speaker 1: out into ten. But it was a really really nice 664 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,160 Speaker 1: occasion for me to sit down and get that all 665 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 1: out of my brain, because it just has been a 666 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 1: year of not really stopping. I think that's one of 667 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: the things that if I've lamented anything of not having 668 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,320 Speaker 1: as much time, it's that I don't really sitdn't consolidate. 669 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 1: I just kind of am in the moment. I think 670 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: I've gone from being really in the worrying that I'm 671 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:49,959 Speaker 1: not in the moment and that I'm just jumping from 672 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 1: thing to thing to being so in the moment that 673 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,720 Speaker 1: I don't actually stop and realize that time has passed. 674 00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 1: I used to sort of stop every month and think 675 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 1: what happened this month, what happened to my goals, what 676 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 1: would I like to do differently next month? Like I 677 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 1: was on top of the time passing and the milestones 678 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 1: and the goals and whatever. And I feel like this 679 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: past year, I've just gone from this day last year 680 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 1: to this day this year, and I haven't really stopped 681 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 1: and thought about it or really let all the emotions 682 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 1: sit and wash over you. I feel like that might 683 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 1: sound that might be something that a lot of parents 684 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,840 Speaker 1: listening resonate with, that it's just a blur and it 685 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 1: all goes past and it never really sit and think, 686 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,320 Speaker 1: oh my God, and let it all catch up with you. 687 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 1: And forcing myself to sit down on my birthday and 688 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 1: on the morning of my birthday, before I get into 689 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,760 Speaker 1: the day of just doing normal stuff, to sit down 690 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 1: and reflect on how I felt, what I learned, how 691 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 1: special it's been, how hard it's been, how beautiful it's 692 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: been to share, how much I feel like it humbles you, 693 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,479 Speaker 1: how much I have said goodbye to this former person, 694 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 1: but how much I love the person that I've become 695 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 1: in her place. All of those things, I think, I'm 696 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 1: just really glad that I had the occasion to do that, 697 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,200 Speaker 1: and again so grateful for a neighborhood that listens and 698 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,560 Speaker 1: gives me the platform an opportunity to share it with 699 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: you and to share in it. One of the really 700 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 1: nice messages that a lot of you have sent over 701 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,240 Speaker 1: the last little while is thank you for sharing Teddy 702 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,080 Speaker 1: with us, and it is I've actually not spoken about it, 703 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 1: and to be fair to you guys, you've all been 704 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,000 Speaker 1: so polite to not really ask about it that much. 705 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,600 Speaker 1: But it is a really big choice whether you'll share 706 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 1: your child on social media and when you have a big, 707 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:24,600 Speaker 1: big platform, and coming back to that whole like, do 708 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,560 Speaker 1: things for your future self and think about future you. 709 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 2: There will probably come. 710 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 1: A time where he's a little bit older and his 711 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 1: face is changing a lot less quickly, where we might 712 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 1: follow in the footsteps of say Steph Smith and start 713 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 1: to share him less or once he starts getting recognized 714 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 1: at kinder and all that kind of thing. But in 715 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:45,040 Speaker 1: this first year where he's changed every five seconds, it 716 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: was a decision we actively made not to sort of 717 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 1: hide his face. And again coming back to that, it 718 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,560 Speaker 1: has to work for you. It has to feel comfortable 719 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,480 Speaker 1: for you, and you can't compare to everyone else who's 720 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: doing different things. And we have a lot of friends 721 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 1: who we know through the media, who are in similar 722 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 1: jobs with similar platforms, who have chosen not to share 723 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,520 Speaker 1: their children, and we all just have such respect for 724 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,480 Speaker 1: each other's decisions. There's sort of no judgment either way. 725 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 1: It's got to work for you. But yeah, we just 726 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 1: decided that we did want to share him because I 727 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 1: just physically couldn not really. I share so much of 728 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 1: my life and I wasn't quite sure how I'd have 729 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,120 Speaker 1: the same relationship I do with social media without sharing 730 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,880 Speaker 1: that part of my life because it's part of my 731 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 1: way of being excited about things. And we also felt 732 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,160 Speaker 1: we could protect him later on in a different way. 733 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 1: But it has been also so lovely that you have 734 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,160 Speaker 1: continued to be the kindest audience. I don't think I've 735 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 1: had a propertrol with nearly one hundred and fifty thousand 736 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,680 Speaker 1: followers over nearly ten years on social media, and that. 737 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 2: Is such a credit to all of you guys. 738 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 1: I feel so incredibly grateful that all you do is 739 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:51,120 Speaker 1: celebrate and ask genuine questions and give genuine suggestions, and 740 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,880 Speaker 1: that you have shared in this journey and embraced it 741 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 1: so beautifully. You do kind of worry that you'll drop 742 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:57,920 Speaker 1: off the face of the earth and become this person 743 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,360 Speaker 1: that is over the heel and a marle and that 744 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 1: that's daggy and boring. But you've all really really come 745 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:05,960 Speaker 1: along on the ride. And I'm so grateful for anyone 746 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 1: who's listened this long, because oh my god, I really 747 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 1: need to cut myself off. I'm actually glad it's only 748 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 1: been half an hour. I think it could have been longer. 749 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: But thank you for spending the morning of my thirty 750 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 1: six birthday with me. Thank you for having done that 751 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,360 Speaker 1: on my birthday. For the seven years of the podcast, 752 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,400 Speaker 1: listen to my dear dary episodes, oh my goodness me 753 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,920 Speaker 1: and I hope you guys have taken something from it, 754 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,759 Speaker 1: even if not just to reaffirm how I'm hinged I 755 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,000 Speaker 1: can be when I'm left my own. 756 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,600 Speaker 2: Devices, but really grateful for you all. 757 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,560 Speaker 1: Let me know what you would like to hear in 758 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,000 Speaker 1: any future episodes of Seize the Baby, or any future 759 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,400 Speaker 1: solo episodes, or any guests you'd like to hear from. 760 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,399 Speaker 1: We are in kind of a stage of flux where 761 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 1: I'm not really sure. I'm really really enjoying just going. 762 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,160 Speaker 1: Like I said, going in the moment to moment, but 763 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,360 Speaker 1: I haven't done any macro planning in a while, so 764 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:54,879 Speaker 1: I think that's coming. I think that now I've got 765 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,680 Speaker 1: a little bit more structure and routine, once we get 766 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:01,200 Speaker 1: the sleep under control again, I feel like something's coming. 767 00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 1: I'm not sure what, but please do send any feedback suggestions, 768 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 1: because it really does get taken into account and means 769 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 1: a lot that this is a yagihood production. I hope 770 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:43,640 Speaker 1: you're having a wonderful week and is seizing your ya