WEBVTT - Celeste Barber Got Famous For Being Real. Then It Got Complicated. 0:00:10.365 --> 0:00:15.005 You're listening to a mother Mia podcast. Mama Miya acknowledges 0:00:15.045 --> 0:00:17.685 the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 0:00:17.765 --> 0:00:20.605 is recorded on. I'm a lot. To be with me 0:00:20.805 --> 0:00:22.405 is a lot. This is fun. 0:00:23.045 --> 0:00:25.725 Day in day out, I get darkness, I go high, 0:00:25.765 --> 0:00:32.165 I go low. Of all the things. 0:00:35.445 --> 0:00:38.685 Se Les Barber is one of the most recognizable and 0:00:39.005 --> 0:00:44.725 genuinely beloved faces in the country. She's a comedian, an actor, 0:00:44.885 --> 0:00:51.205 a writer, a producer, a global touring sensation, and, depending 0:00:51.365 --> 0:00:55.565 who you ask, a feminist icon, a social media star, 0:00:56.805 --> 0:01:00.965 a mother, or simply the funny woman in big knickers 0:01:01.005 --> 0:01:04.885 pulling faces on Instagram. But behind all of that is 0:01:04.925 --> 0:01:08.645 someone who's spent years making sense of her own life, 0:01:09.485 --> 0:01:15.485 the chaos of her childhood, her ADHD diagnosis, the experience 0:01:15.525 --> 0:01:18.165 of being a wife and mum while the world watches, 0:01:18.325 --> 0:01:21.685 and what it means to be called real when you're 0:01:21.725 --> 0:01:26.725 living anything but an ordinary life. We talk about parenting, 0:01:27.245 --> 0:01:33.005 body image, social media fatigue, and how she's navigated life 0:01:33.005 --> 0:01:36.885 with a brain that works a little bit differently. Also 0:01:37.325 --> 0:01:40.365 how she's learnt to take a compliment. It wasn't easy, 0:01:41.205 --> 0:01:45.005 and through it all she's hilarious as always, but more 0:01:45.045 --> 0:01:50.165 than that she's honest, she's vulnerable and that thing we 0:01:50.245 --> 0:01:51.285 all love about her. 0:01:52.005 --> 0:01:55.885 She's one hundred percent real. I know because I touched her. 0:01:56.765 --> 0:02:01.245 This is a conversation about success, identity, the beauty and 0:02:01.405 --> 0:02:06.565 chaos of life, and the woman behind the accidental empire. 0:02:07.405 --> 0:02:09.325 Here is Celeste Barber. 0:02:10.845 --> 0:02:14.125 Look, we'll either have an amazing career when this comes out. 0:02:14.125 --> 0:02:17.325 I will both be canceled and what a rist what 0:02:17.405 --> 0:02:18.685 a sweet res same? 0:02:19.205 --> 0:02:22.725 Can someone cancel me so I can lie down time? 0:02:24.485 --> 0:02:28.645 I'm tired it? Celeste Barber, Hi, welcome to No Filter. 0:02:28.925 --> 0:02:31.445 It's nice to be here. We've already started, have you? 0:02:31.485 --> 0:02:33.925 We have started, but I just thought I'll do an introduction, 0:02:34.045 --> 0:02:35.685 of course, because we will be like, who is she? 0:02:35.725 --> 0:02:37.325 I've never seen that exactly? 0:02:37.445 --> 0:02:39.405 Exactly is that Ricky Lee? What's going on? 0:02:40.405 --> 0:02:40.685 You are? 0:02:42.245 --> 0:02:42.445 No? 0:02:42.965 --> 0:02:46.765 And then I mean I've always loved Ricky Lee. Yes, 0:02:47.525 --> 0:02:50.005 the reason she got voted out of Australian ID is 0:02:50.045 --> 0:02:52.005 because I was out of the country and you couldn't 0:02:52.005 --> 0:02:55.645 be I couldn't nineteen ten Ricky Lee. Yeah, the pipes 0:02:55.645 --> 0:02:56.285 on that girl. 0:02:56.605 --> 0:02:57.645 She's unbelievable. 0:02:58.045 --> 0:03:01.405 And then I'm like, face to face met her A 0:03:01.405 --> 0:03:04.165 couple of months ago I did her radio show and 0:03:04.245 --> 0:03:06.285 it was just like, oh my god, we do look 0:03:06.285 --> 0:03:09.165 the same. Photos of people were like, wow, what's going on? Yeah, 0:03:09.445 --> 0:03:11.925 the same, which I take is a huge compliment. 0:03:12.365 --> 0:03:13.725 And how does she take it? 0:03:13.965 --> 0:03:19.685 I ask to take every compliment. Absolutely. I'm just going 0:03:19.765 --> 0:03:20.565 to pop my pills. 0:03:20.645 --> 0:03:23.845 Everyone else pop your pills, all right, and you know 0:03:23.885 --> 0:03:29.245 your pills are actually a conduit into a conversation about 0:03:29.325 --> 0:03:30.005 all of you. 0:03:30.085 --> 0:03:30.485 Really. 0:03:30.885 --> 0:03:36.965 Yeah, because little Saliste tell me about little Celeste. 0:03:37.565 --> 0:03:40.765 Oh, little Celeste, you're more than New South Wales. 0:03:40.845 --> 0:03:41.045 Yeah. 0:03:41.205 --> 0:03:42.765 Yeah, I live on the border. 0:03:42.845 --> 0:03:45.645 Yeah, you're a tween. Yeah, because I'm from Queensland. 0:03:46.405 --> 0:03:47.085 Outrageous. 0:03:47.165 --> 0:03:49.005 And so a big night for us was to go 0:03:49.045 --> 0:03:50.765 to the twin Town Services collapse. 0:03:50.765 --> 0:03:52.645 Absolutely on the border. Yeah. 0:03:52.725 --> 0:03:55.525 And I grew up in a place called Terranora, like 0:03:55.605 --> 0:03:58.445 a little little well, I. 0:03:58.365 --> 0:04:00.085 Was kind of a little bit more in the hills, 0:04:00.085 --> 0:04:03.045 but yeah, we're right near, right close to ten minutes 0:04:03.045 --> 0:04:03.565 to the beach. 0:04:03.765 --> 0:04:06.525 And so your mum cath your dad Neville. 0:04:06.685 --> 0:04:13.365 Yeah, and was he a nifty nifty me, he's the 0:04:13.685 --> 0:04:15.685 ultimate nifty Neville. 0:04:16.205 --> 0:04:16.645 Yeah. 0:04:16.685 --> 0:04:20.725 And my sister Olivia, yeahs older sister. Yeah, just the 0:04:20.765 --> 0:04:21.525 four of us. 0:04:21.365 --> 0:04:23.965 And I like it too now that your sister, older 0:04:24.005 --> 0:04:27.605 sister classic way kind of asserts herself now in the 0:04:27.645 --> 0:04:31.005 story of who we all know as Celese Barber, She's 0:04:31.045 --> 0:04:35.485 like I said to her, absolutely, you should do the 0:04:35.565 --> 0:04:37.405 truth about these posts. 0:04:37.405 --> 0:04:40.125 Definitely. She's also the funniest person. 0:04:39.885 --> 0:04:44.965 In any room myself, Like, she's so funny, and she's 0:04:45.045 --> 0:04:48.285 so brave and so loud, and like you're just in 0:04:48.445 --> 0:04:49.765 stitches when you're around her. 0:04:50.085 --> 0:04:51.405 She's funnier than I am. 0:04:51.365 --> 0:04:56.205 One and and so growing up you had this like 0:04:56.285 --> 0:05:00.885 You've got a beautiful family who understood you very well. 0:05:01.045 --> 0:05:06.165 Yeah, the best they could with someone who a kid 0:05:06.205 --> 0:05:09.885 who's you know, near a divert adhd all of that 0:05:10.005 --> 0:05:14.245 and loud and you know, I'm a nineties baby, ll 0:05:14.285 --> 0:05:16.765 eighties baby, you know, grew up in the nineties and 0:05:16.805 --> 0:05:18.005 we didn't know what it was. 0:05:18.245 --> 0:05:19.365 I was just annoying. 0:05:19.565 --> 0:05:24.925 I was annoying and ostracized one hundred percent school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:05:24.965 --> 0:05:30.045 And this is so brutal, but I think it's not 0:05:30.285 --> 0:05:31.925 an uncommon. 0:05:32.085 --> 0:05:35.325 Experience for people who end up working. 0:05:35.005 --> 0:05:39.085 In the creative arts in some capacity that this like 0:05:39.845 --> 0:05:42.485 what was it the force of your personality or. 0:05:43.085 --> 0:05:48.405 Yeah, just the the force of my personality, the energy 0:05:49.765 --> 0:05:53.285 around me, the energy that I would put out, the 0:05:53.325 --> 0:05:55.205 ideas that were in. 0:05:55.085 --> 0:05:57.165 Me that I just I didn't know what to do. 0:05:58.325 --> 0:06:02.845 Ostracized me because as a fifteen year old, like everyone, 0:06:03.445 --> 0:06:07.285 every teenager is fighting for their lives. They are true 0:06:07.645 --> 0:06:09.325 they I have a thirteen year old son at the moment, 0:06:09.565 --> 0:06:10.885 he's fighting for his life. 0:06:11.325 --> 0:06:15.725 It's a rough time, be neurodiverse or not. 0:06:16.165 --> 0:06:18.285 And you know what they tend to do, I think 0:06:18.485 --> 0:06:22.245 is hence there's a uniform There's a uniformity to how 0:06:22.285 --> 0:06:26.285 you dress, there's a uniformity to like what you listen 0:06:26.365 --> 0:06:27.965 to and what you do. 0:06:27.965 --> 0:06:29.725 What your opinions are on everything. 0:06:30.125 --> 0:06:35.765 And if you're not in step with the youth army, 0:06:36.365 --> 0:06:39.965 then it's like your bastard eyes like in the real army, 0:06:40.285 --> 0:06:43.285 and they pick off the Week, which I think is 0:06:43.365 --> 0:06:46.325 kind of a way of stopping everyone else from looking 0:06:46.365 --> 0:06:46.685 at you. 0:06:47.005 --> 0:06:49.645 Absolutely look at her. I mean, that's what I mean 0:06:49.805 --> 0:06:52.005 about everyone fighting for their lives. Even the people who 0:06:52.005 --> 0:06:54.885 were a part of that army, they're still freaking out. 0:06:55.005 --> 0:06:56.245 I don't know what's going on. 0:06:56.365 --> 0:06:59.245 And then yeah, you see a week link and you 0:06:59.285 --> 0:07:03.925 go absolutely, let's focus over there so that spotlight isn't 0:07:03.965 --> 0:07:04.285 on me. 0:07:04.765 --> 0:07:07.445 I think that is definitely part of what happened. 0:07:07.525 --> 0:07:09.005 It's savage. 0:07:10.085 --> 0:07:16.485 And experience brutal, and it's un necessary. Like, I I 0:07:16.525 --> 0:07:20.405 know kids can be shit, you know, kids are brutal 0:07:20.485 --> 0:07:25.725 with each other, but the level of meanness, the level 0:07:25.805 --> 0:07:35.045 of like targeted attacks on kids who are different, is 0:07:35.485 --> 0:07:39.725 out of control. Like and I'm I'm really big advocate 0:07:39.805 --> 0:07:42.925 advocate for it now now that I'm older and my 0:07:43.205 --> 0:07:46.165 older son has ADHD and I see the struggles that 0:07:46.205 --> 0:07:47.205 he's going through as well, and. 0:07:47.125 --> 0:07:49.925 I'm onto the school all the time. I'm like, just. 0:07:50.245 --> 0:07:53.045 They hate they when my son started at school that 0:07:53.205 --> 0:07:56.885 of course now they're like, oh my god, I like 0:07:56.925 --> 0:07:58.645 the better when we could just follow you and you 0:07:58.805 --> 0:07:59.845 not come in and talk. 0:07:59.965 --> 0:08:01.605 But I'm like, there has. 0:08:01.445 --> 0:08:03.285 To be a lot, Like if there is a kid 0:08:03.365 --> 0:08:06.685 sitting alone, you have to interject. You cannot have one 0:08:06.885 --> 0:08:11.045 teacher on a school field at lunch times when all 0:08:11.085 --> 0:08:13.205 of this stuff is going down and these little ones 0:08:13.205 --> 0:08:14.085 are getting picked off. 0:08:14.005 --> 0:08:15.805 And seeing it or not. 0:08:16.765 --> 0:08:19.405 Especially with social media, these kids are just on their 0:08:19.445 --> 0:08:23.085 phones and the toxic masculinity that's going on that doesn't 0:08:23.085 --> 0:08:25.605 get policed in any way, and it's like, oh, well, 0:08:25.645 --> 0:08:28.725 it toughens them up. I just call absolute bullshit to that, 0:08:28.885 --> 0:08:31.605 like we have to, we have to interject earlier. 0:08:31.885 --> 0:08:34.125 But what were you at an all girls school? 0:08:34.245 --> 0:08:34.405 No? 0:08:34.765 --> 0:08:38.045 A co ed school? Yea and so? And that was 0:08:38.205 --> 0:08:39.925 pre social media data? 0:08:40.005 --> 0:08:40.085 Da? 0:08:40.965 --> 0:08:43.725 What form did it take that? 0:08:45.245 --> 0:08:45.325 Like? 0:08:45.525 --> 0:08:49.045 How was it exercised against you? There? 0:08:49.405 --> 0:08:58.845 It was very calculated. It was two girls, in particular, popular. 0:08:58.445 --> 0:08:59.845 Girls or school. 0:09:00.605 --> 0:09:04.725 They decided that I was ship and that no one 0:09:04.845 --> 0:09:05.525 was to talk to me. 0:09:05.645 --> 0:09:07.005 And did it happen like overnight? 0:09:07.165 --> 0:09:10.685 Yeah, I got off the bus, right, I remember getting 0:09:10.685 --> 0:09:11.405 to school, got. 0:09:11.285 --> 0:09:13.085 Off the bus, went up and no one was talking 0:09:13.125 --> 0:09:14.845 to me, and as not as though you know, you've 0:09:14.845 --> 0:09:15.605 been texting or not. 0:09:15.685 --> 0:09:16.845 We didn't have phones. 0:09:16.525 --> 0:09:20.085 Then, we had landlines, so these girls must have put 0:09:20.125 --> 0:09:21.205 effort into call around. 0:09:21.445 --> 0:09:22.605 I don't know what happened. 0:09:23.405 --> 0:09:26.245 And I remember talking to a girl who was my 0:09:26.365 --> 0:09:29.525 friend who got caught up in it. She then didn't 0:09:29.525 --> 0:09:32.085 really talk to me either, but you know, because she 0:09:32.165 --> 0:09:34.365 got caught up in it, and I just remember her 0:09:35.045 --> 0:09:38.445 just going nuh it's and I remember exactly where I 0:09:38.525 --> 0:09:41.365 was and the feeling and everything just sunk when I 0:09:41.485 --> 0:09:44.245 was crying. She had just gotten off her bus and 0:09:44.285 --> 0:09:46.285 I ran down. I was like, what's going on, what's 0:09:46.285 --> 0:09:49.165 going on? And she was like, everyone ate a bitch, 0:09:49.485 --> 0:09:53.445 And I was like, and just that sinking feeling which 0:09:53.525 --> 0:09:56.685 you have anyway when you're a teenager, and then when 0:09:56.725 --> 0:10:00.765 you were a teenager that doesn't produce dopamine, so already 0:10:00.845 --> 0:10:03.565 goes I'm pretty shit, right, I'm shit that thing. You 0:10:04.245 --> 0:10:06.965 usually start your day like that and then the entire 0:10:07.125 --> 0:10:11.925 year goes yep, you are. That was I'll never forget 0:10:11.965 --> 0:10:12.485 that feeling. 0:10:12.965 --> 0:10:17.845 And how did you make yourself go to school? Like 0:10:17.965 --> 0:10:20.725 what was that process for you when you would wake 0:10:20.805 --> 0:10:23.005 up in the morning son's dopamine? 0:10:23.485 --> 0:10:24.085 Yeah. 0:10:25.205 --> 0:10:29.885 I just think I'm a really, really resilient person. This 0:10:29.925 --> 0:10:32.685 is something I've learned about myself. And when I look 0:10:32.805 --> 0:10:36.485 back at little me, I'm like, you're really tough, mate. 0:10:36.565 --> 0:10:40.285 You did. Like It's also the nineties we all had 0:10:40.285 --> 0:10:40.765 to go to school. 0:10:40.805 --> 0:10:44.645 Remember those days, you know, it's like I think I 0:10:44.685 --> 0:10:46.805 have pneumonia, and my parents I was like, well, just 0:10:46.845 --> 0:10:49.445 go and see how you go, and see how you go, 0:10:49.725 --> 0:10:51.445 and if by lunch you don't feel well, go to 0:10:51.445 --> 0:10:51.885 the sick bay. 0:10:51.925 --> 0:10:53.405 Will come and you always just had You just had 0:10:53.445 --> 0:10:55.765 to go to school. It wasn't parents had to go 0:10:55.805 --> 0:10:58.605 to work. You had to go to school. And then 0:10:58.645 --> 0:11:01.285 I found drama. I found you know, the drama room 0:11:01.445 --> 0:11:01.925 and all. 0:11:01.925 --> 0:11:03.805 That because you were already a dancer. 0:11:04.165 --> 0:11:08.565 Yeah, I danced, yeah, and then found drama, and I 0:11:08.805 --> 0:11:11.365 just I just went in. 0:11:12.445 --> 0:11:15.925 I just went into me. So I got a lot smaller. 0:11:16.125 --> 0:11:17.485 I made sure, you know. 0:11:17.565 --> 0:11:21.245 You make sure you see a lot sasel, be quiet, 0:11:21.365 --> 0:11:24.405 be invisible, and then they'll leave you alone. But a 0:11:24.485 --> 0:11:28.925 byproduct of that was I went in and went, what 0:11:28.965 --> 0:11:31.405 do I What do I like? No one else is 0:11:31.405 --> 0:11:32.645 going to hang with me, and I'm just going to 0:11:32.725 --> 0:11:33.605 hang with myself. 0:11:34.405 --> 0:11:36.605 What do I like? So I start writing jokes. 0:11:36.325 --> 0:11:39.245 Or I go to the drama room, or start like 0:11:39.365 --> 0:11:41.765 quoting Friends in my I love the show Friends and 0:11:42.285 --> 0:11:43.445 playing the characters. 0:11:43.125 --> 0:11:44.005 Out in my head. 0:11:45.645 --> 0:11:50.845 In Friends, by the way, Chandler, yeah, just smart. 0:11:50.605 --> 0:11:57.085 Us, just the constant as amost all of that. That's me. Yeah. 0:11:57.525 --> 0:11:59.845 Yeah, So I just I remember just kind of going 0:12:00.405 --> 0:12:05.765 inward and getting on with it. But it's interesting whenever 0:12:05.805 --> 0:12:07.565 I think about it. Things you know, we all go 0:12:07.605 --> 0:12:10.605 through in our lives, and I've had some big things happened, 0:12:11.045 --> 0:12:14.605 some tragedies and whatnot, as everyone has. But that's the 0:12:14.645 --> 0:12:17.845 one thing that sticks with me is that time of 0:12:17.885 --> 0:12:23.245 feeling so not just low and sad and ostracized, but 0:12:23.285 --> 0:12:28.005 the energy that went in to making sure I felt 0:12:28.045 --> 0:12:32.965 like that by an entire school year at school. And 0:12:33.005 --> 0:12:35.605 that's why with my my son, for example, I'm like, 0:12:35.845 --> 0:12:38.165 we aren't. This is not a rite of passage. 0:12:38.405 --> 0:12:39.405 Yeah, and I think it's. 0:12:39.285 --> 0:12:41.285 Sometimes well it did it got treat like that? Well, 0:12:41.285 --> 0:12:42.445 you just got a tough en up. You got to 0:12:42.445 --> 0:12:44.085 get through it. I mean, my parents did the best 0:12:44.085 --> 0:12:46.245 they could. My parents were always like, what's going on? 0:12:46.365 --> 0:12:48.125 How did they know? Your parents? 0:12:48.285 --> 0:12:50.965 I would tell you be okay, they would see, so 0:12:51.085 --> 0:12:54.885 you come home come yeah, like everyone. 0:12:54.965 --> 0:12:55.485 Yeah. 0:12:55.565 --> 0:12:58.165 And I remember my mum asking one of the girls 0:12:58.165 --> 0:13:01.805 in a year who was still kind of talking to me. 0:13:02.005 --> 0:13:03.965 But it was hard for them as well. When you 0:13:04.005 --> 0:13:06.805 two girls tell you not to do something, you do 0:13:06.885 --> 0:13:09.805 it because then they'll if not, they'll be me on you. 0:13:10.005 --> 0:13:10.245 Yeah. 0:13:10.805 --> 0:13:14.165 And I remember my mum was saying to her quietly, 0:13:14.325 --> 0:13:17.525 going what did she do? Has she done something? What 0:13:17.645 --> 0:13:18.325 has she done? 0:13:18.365 --> 0:13:22.365 Like we can yeah, I know And Louise going, No, 0:13:23.325 --> 0:13:26.765 you know this. Everyone just hates Sally alone. 0:13:30.525 --> 0:13:30.925 You know what. 0:13:31.205 --> 0:13:35.205 I love that there's a redemption arc for you and 0:13:35.245 --> 0:13:37.885 your beautiful life and your beautiful family and your breadth 0:13:37.885 --> 0:13:41.645 of understanding of humanity, which informs actually a lot of 0:13:41.645 --> 0:13:42.125 your work. 0:13:42.805 --> 0:13:43.005 You know. 0:13:43.045 --> 0:13:46.445 It's like people always say online comments, you can get 0:13:46.485 --> 0:13:52.125 a thousand compliments, but that one, you know, nasty comment 0:13:52.365 --> 0:13:55.845 is the barb that will strike home. Yeah, and so 0:13:55.965 --> 0:14:00.765 I think if you've had that formative happening, it stays 0:14:00.805 --> 0:14:01.085 with you. 0:14:01.565 --> 0:14:03.605 It does, it stays with me, and it also is 0:14:03.765 --> 0:14:06.485 exacerbated sometimes in the way where I will look for 0:14:06.565 --> 0:14:07.325 that bad comment. 0:14:07.965 --> 0:14:09.925 Yeah right, you go, Yeah, basically great. 0:14:09.925 --> 0:14:11.565 It made me feel so much better about myself. I 0:14:11.565 --> 0:14:15.245 can't believe it was I knew it. I knew it. 0:14:15.325 --> 0:14:19.405 See, that's that's them seeing the real me. It's weird, 0:14:19.565 --> 0:14:22.445 isn't it. I think, what is that need that we have? 0:14:22.845 --> 0:14:23.165 I know? 0:14:24.165 --> 0:14:29.165 Yeah, what is that need? Why? It's It's masochistic, isn't it. 0:14:29.045 --> 0:14:30.565 It's like, why am. 0:14:30.485 --> 0:14:34.045 I trying to hurt myself in this moment? Why can't 0:14:34.045 --> 0:14:37.285 I just take the wins? I'm working very hard and 0:14:37.485 --> 0:14:40.925 very successfully on that on celebrating the wins. I've been 0:14:40.965 --> 0:14:42.845 talking with my husband about it. Actually, I'm like, we 0:14:42.925 --> 0:14:46.645 need to lean in to the joy. We need to 0:14:46.765 --> 0:14:51.485 lean into because I just think, you know, especially with. 0:14:51.405 --> 0:14:53.285 The world at the moment, you kind of wake up 0:14:53.325 --> 0:14:53.805 and you're. 0:14:53.605 --> 0:14:56.845 Like, what's the fox happen now? Like, I'm sure something's happened. 0:14:56.925 --> 0:14:59.765 It's like, so when there's a little wine, take it. 0:14:59.885 --> 0:15:01.925 I'm going to take those ten I'm going to take 0:15:01.925 --> 0:15:06.365 those forty thousand good comments, and I'm going to all 0:15:06.405 --> 0:15:07.405 the five bad ones. 0:15:07.445 --> 0:15:11.765 I remember Ellen DeGeneres. Remember her. I'm saying that, Well, 0:15:11.845 --> 0:15:13.565 she took the winds, didn't she though? 0:15:13.885 --> 0:15:16.925 And everyone else's no, But I remember when people liked 0:15:16.925 --> 0:15:19.525 her and she was like, you have to read all 0:15:19.525 --> 0:15:19.965 the comments. 0:15:20.005 --> 0:15:21.525 You've got to take the good and the bad. And 0:15:21.565 --> 0:15:24.365 I'm like, I'm not doing that. I don't. 0:15:24.685 --> 0:15:28.605 I actively choose not to do that because I give 0:15:28.725 --> 0:15:31.205 enough shit to myself. I've got enough going on in here. 0:15:31.805 --> 0:15:35.005 Who I keep myself really grounded. I keep myself on 0:15:35.045 --> 0:15:36.965 the right side of things, you know, I really hold 0:15:36.965 --> 0:15:37.925 myself accountable. 0:15:38.525 --> 0:15:41.085 I don't need strangers to. 0:15:41.045 --> 0:15:41.685 Do that as well. 0:15:41.725 --> 0:15:43.405 I'm like, no, I'm going to take the good I'm 0:15:43.405 --> 0:15:44.925 going to take you all telling me I'm amazing. 0:15:44.965 --> 0:15:45.925 I'm going to eat that up. 0:15:46.125 --> 0:15:47.885 Well, you know, one of your winds. 0:15:49.445 --> 0:15:55.085 Was your mom, your mum, who went like who recognized 0:15:55.205 --> 0:15:59.485 your neuro divergence then that you just weren't formulated the 0:15:59.565 --> 0:16:02.885 same because this was in the nineties. 0:16:03.125 --> 0:16:06.445 Like nobody, like everybody. 0:16:06.045 --> 0:16:09.485 I know who's ADHD or whatever it has been diagnos 0:16:09.525 --> 0:16:10.805 in like the last five years. 0:16:10.885 --> 0:16:13.245 Yeah, women as well women. 0:16:13.405 --> 0:16:16.405 Yeah, and midlife a lot of midlife sort of stuff. 0:16:16.485 --> 0:16:21.005 But your mom took you to a doctor. Yeah, I 0:16:21.045 --> 0:16:23.325 didn't even know there was rittal in the nineties. 0:16:23.485 --> 0:16:26.645 Yeah, oh there was saved my life. 0:16:27.725 --> 0:16:30.805 My mom and what my parents were at their wits 0:16:31.245 --> 0:16:33.805 end with me as well. They didn't know what to 0:16:33.845 --> 0:16:35.805 do that we were looking to change schools, was like, 0:16:35.845 --> 0:16:36.205 we don't. 0:16:36.925 --> 0:16:39.245 It was a lot. I was a lot. 0:16:39.605 --> 0:16:42.445 And AHD in children and in girls in the nineties 0:16:42.565 --> 0:16:45.565 is a lot because it's just she is loud and 0:16:45.645 --> 0:16:49.925 annoying and attention seeking and can't listen, and it's it's 0:16:50.485 --> 0:16:52.045 there's nothing sexy about it. 0:16:52.405 --> 0:16:54.085 Nothing sexy about superpower. 0:16:54.165 --> 0:16:57.525 There's no Yeah, I envy those people who are like 0:16:57.605 --> 0:17:00.525 I find it superpower I want that type. 0:17:00.965 --> 0:17:01.805 I hate it. 0:17:02.445 --> 0:17:04.685 But yeah, we got to a point where my parents 0:17:04.725 --> 0:17:08.485 took me to a doctor and as soon as I 0:17:08.525 --> 0:17:09.365 walked in, he was like. 0:17:09.485 --> 0:17:12.605 You have it. You have got my dad. My dad 0:17:12.645 --> 0:17:14.605 who was watching a fly fly around the room. 0:17:14.685 --> 0:17:15.125 Yeah ruh. 0:17:16.605 --> 0:17:19.125 My mom was like, help me, please, help me, help 0:17:19.165 --> 0:17:20.285 me help. 0:17:20.405 --> 0:17:25.005 So two amazing things, your parents calling it and going 0:17:25.165 --> 0:17:28.805 I think this could take some medical intervention, and a 0:17:28.925 --> 0:17:32.365 doctor then who was onto it, and in a girl 0:17:32.525 --> 0:17:35.885 because also I think the prevailing wisdom then was that's 0:17:35.925 --> 0:17:36.405 a kind of. 0:17:36.405 --> 0:17:37.005 A boy thing. 0:17:37.245 --> 0:17:39.885 Yeah, just loud, hyperactive boys. 0:17:40.525 --> 0:17:42.765 And that was a time where we had family friends 0:17:42.765 --> 0:17:45.925 who were teachers and they pulled my parents aside once 0:17:45.965 --> 0:17:48.205 and said, leave her with us for six months and 0:17:48.205 --> 0:17:49.205 we'll get it out of her. 0:17:49.765 --> 0:17:50.525 That's what they said. 0:17:50.605 --> 0:17:56.125 Oh yeah, oh at that point where your parents tempted. 0:17:57.365 --> 0:17:59.005 Just six months, can we let us do it a 0:17:59.045 --> 0:17:59.605 whole year? 0:18:00.125 --> 0:18:01.445 Wow? Yeah. 0:18:01.725 --> 0:18:06.165 So from the from then being prescribed to ritalin. So 0:18:06.165 --> 0:18:07.525 so you're sixteen. 0:18:07.525 --> 0:18:08.405 Changed my life. 0:18:09.445 --> 0:18:11.845 I went home that afternoon, I sat down and we 0:18:11.845 --> 0:18:14.245 had I think it was ADHD for Dummies or like 0:18:14.365 --> 0:18:17.725 a book or something was sitting there and I sat 0:18:17.765 --> 0:18:19.205 down and I picked it up and I read a 0:18:19.205 --> 0:18:23.205 paragraph and my parents burst into tears, and I was like, 0:18:23.245 --> 0:18:25.485 what's wrong with you? And You've never ever done that, 0:18:25.765 --> 0:18:27.885 You've never done that, You've never read. 0:18:28.285 --> 0:18:29.245 Oh. 0:18:29.525 --> 0:18:31.205 I was quintessential. 0:18:31.525 --> 0:18:34.525 Set all up a little study area in my room, 0:18:34.885 --> 0:18:38.285 had a photo Janet Jackson, their caster of friends. 0:18:37.925 --> 0:18:39.645 There, Chandler, Chandler. 0:18:39.725 --> 0:18:39.965 Yeah. 0:18:40.125 --> 0:18:41.965 And then I had my timetable of how I was 0:18:42.005 --> 0:18:43.965 going to study that night. I'm going to do maths 0:18:43.965 --> 0:18:47.165 for twenty minutes, all stuck. I got all the cute 0:18:47.205 --> 0:18:50.365 pens and then went off. I just couldn't do it. 0:18:50.445 --> 0:18:55.805 I had no idea how to do it. Yeah, and 0:18:55.845 --> 0:18:58.805 then had written and everything changed. 0:18:59.285 --> 0:19:03.525 And so okay, here's the when things change. Did everything 0:19:03.525 --> 0:19:08.085 else then change? Did school change your relationship? 0:19:08.925 --> 0:19:10.245 School changed absolutely? 0:19:10.285 --> 0:19:14.365 I will say pre diagnosis, and this is, I guess 0:19:14.445 --> 0:19:18.965 one of the symptoms. I was obsessed with dancing, and 0:19:19.005 --> 0:19:21.645 I was obsessed with Janet Jackson, and I had been 0:19:21.685 --> 0:19:25.045 to her concert, and I learnt her concert and I 0:19:25.045 --> 0:19:29.005 would perform it. So that's the hyper focus of ADHD, 0:19:29.245 --> 0:19:33.085 where I would if I loved it, if I had 0:19:33.085 --> 0:19:35.965 an emotional response to it, I could do it forever 0:19:36.045 --> 0:19:39.965 and do it better than anyone. That's a superpower of ADHD. 0:19:41.205 --> 0:19:43.725 So I had that. I think when you're asking before 0:19:43.765 --> 0:19:45.845 about how did I get up and go to school? 0:19:46.765 --> 0:19:50.325 I knew that there were things that I loved outside 0:19:50.365 --> 0:19:53.445 of the bullshit, which is also very important for a 0:19:53.565 --> 0:19:57.165 kid to have another world outsize absolutely, and I'm so 0:19:57.245 --> 0:20:00.245 full on about that with my children. I'm like, find 0:20:00.325 --> 0:20:04.925