WEBVTT - The Mum Who Learned To Walk Three Times 0:00:21.773 --> 0:00:24.493 You're listening to Amma Mia podcast. 0:00:25.212 --> 0:00:28.413 Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 0:00:28.453 --> 0:00:31.452 that this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects 0:00:31.533 --> 0:00:35.092 to elders past, present and emerging, and feel privileged to 0:00:35.132 --> 0:00:38.253 continue the sharing of birth stories and knowledge that has 0:00:38.293 --> 0:00:40.892 been a fundamental part of Indigenous culture. 0:00:46.093 --> 0:00:46.293 Hi. 0:00:46.453 --> 0:00:50.053 I'm Cassania Lukich and this is diary of a birth. 0:00:51.373 --> 0:00:54.733 Sometimes the most powerful birth stories aren't just about bringing 0:00:54.773 --> 0:00:58.813 a baby into the world. They're about discovering strength you 0:00:58.893 --> 0:01:03.013 never knew you had. Today's guest had already proven her 0:01:03.013 --> 0:01:07.212 resilience after a spinal surgery complication left her unable to walk. 0:01:07.973 --> 0:01:13.053 She'd fought back to fitness and independence, but pregnancy tested 0:01:13.092 --> 0:01:14.813 her in unimaginable ways. 0:01:15.333 --> 0:01:19.733 So round about the three four month mark, I could 0:01:19.812 --> 0:01:22.733 not sleep for the pain in my leg. Like I'm talking, 0:01:23.212 --> 0:01:27.373 I've been awake for twenty four hours. I'm so much discomfort, 0:01:27.532 --> 0:01:30.893 and I fell over and I went to the hospital 0:01:30.972 --> 0:01:32.333 because everything just got wrong. 0:01:33.212 --> 0:01:36.732 By the time COVID hit, she was housebound on heavy medication, 0:01:36.972 --> 0:01:40.812 facing possible early delivery, but she was determined to give 0:01:40.853 --> 0:01:44.252 her daughter the best start, even if it meant months 0:01:44.293 --> 0:01:47.252 of pain. So let's meet today's mum. 0:01:47.972 --> 0:01:50.653 Hi, this is Bria and this is my diary of 0:01:50.653 --> 0:01:55.013 a birth with Theodora. 0:01:55.093 --> 0:01:57.733 So, Brian, I wanted to start off with a little 0:01:57.733 --> 0:02:01.653 bit about your history because you have had a number 0:02:01.653 --> 0:02:05.333 of health issues since you were what seventeen? Yeah, do 0:02:05.333 --> 0:02:07.693 you want to talk us through your health history so 0:02:07.733 --> 0:02:10.013 we can understand where you were before you got pregnant. 0:02:10.133 --> 0:02:14.213 So I had a really bad back from puberty. I 0:02:14.293 --> 0:02:17.093 had sciatica down both of my legs that would come 0:02:17.093 --> 0:02:20.253 and go, and I would frequently have issues and that 0:02:20.293 --> 0:02:23.692 program all the way through my life, and I would 0:02:23.773 --> 0:02:25.893 manage it and I'd have some time in bed and 0:02:26.053 --> 0:02:30.773 it was all contained, I guess, until I was about 0:02:30.773 --> 0:02:34.373 twenty seven. I'd move from New Zealand to Australia. I 0:02:34.532 --> 0:02:38.732 was working in a professional job and I just had 0:02:38.733 --> 0:02:40.972 another flare and I couldn't manage it. I just could 0:02:41.053 --> 0:02:43.373 not get on top of it. And it turned out 0:02:43.373 --> 0:02:45.373 that a couple of the disks of my lower spine 0:02:45.412 --> 0:02:48.853 had shifted and they were crushing my spinal cord, and 0:02:48.972 --> 0:02:52.933 so I had a spinal surgery, and in that spinal surgery, 0:02:53.093 --> 0:02:55.692 I lost the use and feeling of one of my legs. 0:02:56.252 --> 0:02:59.132 So if you put your finger in your belly button 0:02:59.292 --> 0:03:03.173 and just go straight down and across your hips like nothing, 0:03:03.213 --> 0:03:06.693 couldn't feel it, couldn't move it, anything like that. So 0:03:06.773 --> 0:03:09.613 that was pretty jarring at twenty seven and I'm in 0:03:09.653 --> 0:03:12.533 a different country from my family and my friends, and 0:03:12.572 --> 0:03:16.053 everyone really rally around to support me. And over the 0:03:16.053 --> 0:03:18.973 course of a couple of years, I learned to walk again. 0:03:19.213 --> 0:03:21.653 I got off all the pain medicare that I was on. 0:03:21.773 --> 0:03:25.653 I still have disc issues and I still have what's 0:03:25.653 --> 0:03:28.692 called a foot drop, so I can't lift my toes 0:03:29.213 --> 0:03:31.013 as well as on one of my legs, so I 0:03:31.053 --> 0:03:33.093 do have a trip risk, and I've got pins and 0:03:33.132 --> 0:03:36.093 needles in my leg permanently. But I got to the 0:03:36.133 --> 0:03:38.293 point where I was doing cross it five times a 0:03:38.333 --> 0:03:41.773 week I was traveling. I moved to England. I'm just 0:03:41.853 --> 0:03:46.693 doing life in pain and that progressed and I would 0:03:46.693 --> 0:03:49.653 manage that. And when I was planning to get pregnant, 0:03:49.693 --> 0:03:52.013 I knew I needed to make sure my body was 0:03:52.053 --> 0:03:54.773 really strong. I knew that I needed to be in 0:03:54.813 --> 0:03:59.253 the best possible condition because pregnancy is not great on 0:03:59.893 --> 0:04:05.013 anyone's fine. Pregnancy is not easy on the body and 0:04:05.173 --> 0:04:07.773 some of the pain medications that I would utilize, like 0:04:07.813 --> 0:04:10.813 say Europine it's not safe for pregnancy, So I also 0:04:10.853 --> 0:04:12.453 needed to prepare for that. 0:04:13.093 --> 0:04:15.932 The spinal surgery you had, was that just a complication 0:04:16.053 --> 0:04:19.013 of a surgery? Is that how you're expecting to come 0:04:19.093 --> 0:04:19.533 out of it? 0:04:19.653 --> 0:04:19.733 Like? 0:04:19.973 --> 0:04:22.413 Was it something that it was just a complication. 0:04:22.933 --> 0:04:26.653 Yeah, it was a non complication that can happen. It 0:04:26.693 --> 0:04:29.533 doesn't happen too often, but just the state I was in, 0:04:30.013 --> 0:04:33.133 the disc matter was really messed up into the spinal 0:04:33.173 --> 0:04:36.933 cord when they were operating. So it was like a 0:04:36.973 --> 0:04:40.253 really rare complication in that case. But fast forward when 0:04:40.253 --> 0:04:42.613 we talk about the second spinal surgery, it was a 0:04:42.693 --> 0:04:45.293 much higher risk on that same thing happening. Yeah. 0:04:45.573 --> 0:04:48.213 So you and your partner met in the UK. Yeah, 0:04:48.253 --> 0:04:51.413 and then you got pregnant at thirty five. So was 0:04:51.453 --> 0:04:54.653 that just one surgery between that twenty seven and thirty five? 0:04:54.933 --> 0:04:58.733 Yeah, So I had just needed the one surgery and 0:04:58.733 --> 0:05:00.653 I think I was actually thirty four. It was not 0:05:00.773 --> 0:05:03.573 quite a geriatric pregnancy. I do remember that it was 0:05:03.613 --> 0:05:07.693 a disabled but not quite geriatric pregnancy. I had not 0:05:07.773 --> 0:05:11.453 needed any more surgical interventions. I still had you know, 0:05:11.613 --> 0:05:15.133 a pretty exciting bag of medications that I would use 0:05:15.733 --> 0:05:19.373 when I needed, but I wouldn't need them daily or 0:05:19.413 --> 0:05:22.573 even monthly, to be honest. But I hadn't don't had 0:05:22.573 --> 0:05:27.373 to have any medical interventions after that first operation. It 0:05:27.453 --> 0:05:31.733 wasn't until I got pregnant that things started to unravel. 0:05:31.773 --> 0:05:35.453 And it was like it wasn't even a positive pregnancy test, 0:05:35.493 --> 0:05:39.493 it was conception onwards. It was instant. Yeah. 0:05:39.813 --> 0:05:43.653 Yeah, the act of getting pregnant sort of undid all 0:05:43.733 --> 0:05:47.892 of this hard, you know, rehabilitation work that you had done. 0:05:48.013 --> 0:05:51.573 I think without the rehabilitation work and the real I'd 0:05:51.613 --> 0:05:55.813 spend a good twelve months with personal trainer, like I 0:05:55.853 --> 0:05:58.053 want to get strong for pregnancy, so we'd be really 0:05:58.053 --> 0:06:00.653 deliberate about that. So I think without it, things potentially 0:06:00.693 --> 0:06:04.573 would have gone much worse. But what happened was as 0:06:04.573 --> 0:06:07.693 soon as the relax and entered my system, I just 0:06:08.173 --> 0:06:12.013 seemed to relax all the structures that I had built 0:06:12.333 --> 0:06:16.373 up in my body to be strong, and so my 0:06:16.533 --> 0:06:18.973 leg would hurt more, or my pens and needles would 0:06:19.013 --> 0:06:22.013 be worse, or just bending on was like that shouldn't 0:06:22.733 --> 0:06:25.573 that shouldn't hurt that much? Because managing a spinal l injury. 0:06:25.613 --> 0:06:28.253 For that long, you kind of start to know like, ah, 0:06:28.333 --> 0:06:31.333 this symptom I can put up with that, this symptom, 0:06:31.453 --> 0:06:33.813 I need to triaute it this way, like it's for me. 0:06:33.853 --> 0:06:35.733 It's like a little bit like having a child already, 0:06:35.813 --> 0:06:37.373 like I had, I learned how to manage it. And 0:06:37.373 --> 0:06:39.653 so once I got pregnant, I was like, this is 0:06:39.693 --> 0:06:41.773 going in a direction that I am not used to. 0:06:41.893 --> 0:06:47.093 It's escalating faster, the symptoms don't move through the same process, 0:06:47.133 --> 0:06:51.893 and so pretty much straight away and we got pregnant 0:06:51.933 --> 0:06:54.973 the first time we tried. So of all the things 0:06:55.013 --> 0:06:58.013 we're going to share today, fertility was not one of 0:06:58.053 --> 0:07:03.653 those issues for us. And I tested positive within a 0:07:03.693 --> 0:07:06.733 couple of weeks. Like I woke up on a Monday 0:07:06.773 --> 0:07:09.253 morning and said, I'm pregnant. My periods half now late. 0:07:09.333 --> 0:07:11.453 It was literally one of those people. And I tested 0:07:11.453 --> 0:07:14.173 the next day and that sort of explained it. And 0:07:14.213 --> 0:07:17.293 so began a journey of just trying to keep up 0:07:17.333 --> 0:07:20.533 with what was happening in my body. The pregnancy itself 0:07:20.573 --> 0:07:24.493 was really easy. I think I was described as obstetrically boring. 0:07:24.893 --> 0:07:28.093 But the container that had the uterus and the baby 0:07:28.293 --> 0:07:29.293 was really complicated. 0:07:29.653 --> 0:07:31.493 I know that you mentioned a lot one of your 0:07:31.533 --> 0:07:36.133 biggest issues was facing the medical system and trying to 0:07:36.173 --> 0:07:39.173 figure out a way to manage your care correctly. 0:07:39.693 --> 0:07:40.093 Yeah. 0:07:40.413 --> 0:07:42.773 Can you talk to us a little bit about how 0:07:42.813 --> 0:07:45.973 you entered the system and how you kind of were 0:07:46.013 --> 0:07:48.333 able to gather a team. Yeah. 0:07:48.413 --> 0:07:50.933 So we made the very deliberate choice to go into 0:07:51.013 --> 0:07:54.613 the public system. The advice we received that I was 0:07:54.733 --> 0:07:57.813 so complicated, we were probably going to be punted back 0:07:57.853 --> 0:08:01.653 into the public system, so we started there. I shared 0:08:01.693 --> 0:08:04.333 all of my medical information, so by the time I 0:08:04.493 --> 0:08:07.493 was in that already put me into an obstetric stream. 0:08:07.613 --> 0:08:09.973 I was not under the care of like a midware 0:08:09.973 --> 0:08:13.493 free group practice or anything like that, primarily because they 0:08:13.533 --> 0:08:15.133 just didn't know how my body was going to react. 0:08:15.173 --> 0:08:16.893 So that was really good in that I was already 0:08:16.893 --> 0:08:22.413 in that stream. What was really difficult was so round 0:08:22.453 --> 0:08:26.853 about the three four month mark, I could not sleep 0:08:26.893 --> 0:08:30.013 for the pain in my leg. Like I'm talking, I've 0:08:30.053 --> 0:08:33.973 been awake for twenty four hours. I'm in so much discomfort, 0:08:34.133 --> 0:08:37.493 and I fell over and I went to the hospital 0:08:37.573 --> 0:08:41.173 because everything just felt wrong, and they end up doing 0:08:41.213 --> 0:08:43.773 an MRI on my body because they wanted to see 0:08:43.813 --> 0:08:47.933 what was happening with the spine during the pregnancy, So 0:08:48.013 --> 0:08:52.093 that's great. The maternity hospitals connected to a normal hospital, 0:08:52.413 --> 0:08:55.013 they do the MRI there. I come back to the 0:08:55.053 --> 0:08:59.492 practice and the neuro surgery team has said, ah, it's 0:08:59.533 --> 0:09:02.453 a minor dispulge, it'll be resolved in six to eight weeks. 0:09:02.613 --> 0:09:05.293 And the midwife who's the one meeting me through the 0:09:05.293 --> 0:09:07.893 obstetric stream, is like, but you'll be six to eight 0:09:07.933 --> 0:09:10.333 weeks more pregnant by them. Then I have to go 0:09:10.413 --> 0:09:15.093 away and come back and nothing's progressed because the neurosurgeons 0:09:15.093 --> 0:09:18.493 don't know about babies and the obstetricians don't know about spines, 0:09:18.533 --> 0:09:21.853 and nobody wants to help me with this app debilitating 0:09:21.893 --> 0:09:25.493 pain where I'm not sleeping for days, like I'm not 0:09:25.613 --> 0:09:26.333 able to sleep. 0:09:26.813 --> 0:09:29.733 Yeah, And I suppose in terms of pain management, what 0:09:29.773 --> 0:09:31.973 were you Because you can't take neurop and you can 0:09:32.013 --> 0:09:34.253 take pan at all. But I suppose at that level 0:09:34.253 --> 0:09:36.293 of pain, what were you able to take? 0:09:36.693 --> 0:09:39.133 So of my own volition, I could take the pan 0:09:39.133 --> 0:09:41.453 at all, which is what's recommended, and you can't take neurophine, 0:09:41.493 --> 0:09:43.973 and some of it was inflammation related, so that was 0:09:43.973 --> 0:09:47.413 really frustrating, but anything stronger than that, like, I needed 0:09:47.893 --> 0:09:50.973 the obstetrician and the neurosurgeon to kind of prescribe it. 0:09:51.013 --> 0:09:53.013 So the issue we were having was no one would 0:09:53.053 --> 0:09:54.893 prescribe it because they didn't know about the other thing. 0:09:55.733 --> 0:10:00.173 And I turn up to one appointment and I'm just crying. 0:10:00.293 --> 0:10:04.453 I'm in so much pain. I'm crying and midwives, bless them. 0:10:04.533 --> 0:10:06.453 I love them. My sister in law's a midwife. It 0:10:06.533 --> 0:10:11.612 is an amazing profession. She walks out and I can 0:10:11.693 --> 0:10:15.173 hear her yell something like, I get in here. This 0:10:15.413 --> 0:10:17.893 girl is suffering. You need to come in here and 0:10:17.973 --> 0:10:22.733 help her. And so she appears to wrangle an obstetrician in. 0:10:22.933 --> 0:10:25.852 I think there was a physician because I had gestational diabetes. 0:10:25.893 --> 0:10:28.293 They couldn't get the neurosurgery person in, but they got 0:10:28.413 --> 0:10:30.453 enough people in and she was like, what is the 0:10:30.453 --> 0:10:34.333 pain management plan here? So eventually I got onto some 0:10:34.373 --> 0:10:38.013 pretty like heavy medications, usually ones that you get like 0:10:38.093 --> 0:10:40.693 after a C section, stuff like that that I could 0:10:40.853 --> 0:10:43.733 use for cut through pain. So actually one of the 0:10:43.773 --> 0:10:46.373 things that happened was they wanted to give me a 0:10:46.533 --> 0:10:49.413 nerve pain medication. I took every day that would cut 0:10:49.453 --> 0:10:52.693 down my nerve pain. I love life to the max, 0:10:52.973 --> 0:10:54.973 so if you dull my nerve pain, I'm just going 0:10:55.053 --> 0:10:58.693 to live there, right And I got my partner and 0:10:58.733 --> 0:11:00.373 my mum at the time to look up the symptoms 0:11:00.413 --> 0:11:02.653 because I couldn't cope with seeing that. They looked up 0:11:02.693 --> 0:11:05.293 the symptoms and we've been given some of the information 0:11:05.373 --> 0:11:08.333 from the doctor and there was a risk of heart 0:11:08.373 --> 0:11:13.973 defect or the baby versus these other medications which are 0:11:14.013 --> 0:11:17.373 often associated with being highly addictive. So I actually as 0:11:17.413 --> 0:11:19.773 a patient went in and said, here are my patient 0:11:19.853 --> 0:11:24.813 files in these addictive medications on and off throughout my disability. 0:11:25.413 --> 0:11:27.893 I don't want to risk a heart issue with the 0:11:27.893 --> 0:11:30.653 baby if I could demonstrate to you that I can 0:11:30.733 --> 0:11:34.693 safely take these other medications. And so they agreed, which 0:11:34.773 --> 0:11:36.973 was really great. They trusted me. I could give them evidence. 0:11:36.973 --> 0:11:38.493 They trusted me. But that was probably one of the 0:11:38.533 --> 0:11:42.493 first like really advocating for myself saying I want to 0:11:42.533 --> 0:11:45.333 be able to take this type of medication in this 0:11:45.493 --> 0:11:48.173 way under your care. And we also found one that 0:11:48.293 --> 0:11:50.133 helped me stay asleep through the pain. 0:11:50.373 --> 0:11:54.293 It was like a like an antihistamine, an antihistamine one yep, 0:11:54.413 --> 0:11:56.013 that I ended up taking quite a lot of. 0:11:56.053 --> 0:11:58.533 But it would if I could sleep through the pain. 0:11:58.613 --> 0:12:00.973 I was okay, yeah, So we. 0:12:01.053 --> 0:12:06.573 Had a cocktail that I could. Initially didn't need to 0:12:06.573 --> 0:12:09.573 take too much, but it got a lot more intense 0:12:09.653 --> 0:12:10.213 over the time. 0:12:10.333 --> 0:12:12.453 This is only a four months mind you, So as 0:12:12.493 --> 0:12:16.373 the pregnancy progresses, the pain's getting worse, I'm assuming because 0:12:16.373 --> 0:12:22.132 you're getting bigger, obstetrically boring. So Bove is growing, She's. 0:12:21.893 --> 0:12:24.253 Doing all the things she's supposed to do. There was 0:12:24.253 --> 0:12:28.213 nothing concerning, nothing to worry about. It was me that 0:12:28.333 --> 0:12:32.253 wasn't coping. And prior to getting pregnant, I spent like 0:12:32.893 --> 0:12:35.373 two to four days a fortnight in Sydney, like I 0:12:35.413 --> 0:12:37.053 was traveling up there. I live in Melbourne. I was 0:12:37.093 --> 0:12:40.413 traveling up there all the time. So at four months 0:12:40.453 --> 0:12:42.213 I have to go back to work and say, hey, 0:12:42.493 --> 0:12:46.653 I can't I'm to Sydney. I can't run these collaboration 0:12:46.813 --> 0:12:50.653 workshops with loads of senior executives. I can't do my 0:12:50.813 --> 0:12:53.413 job and I'm definitely not gonna be able to do 0:12:53.453 --> 0:12:55.293 it for the rest of the duration of the pregnancy. 0:12:55.653 --> 0:12:58.693 And I'd say the most surprising thing of the whole pregnancy. 0:12:58.893 --> 0:13:00.973 I thought pregnancy was going to be hard because of 0:13:01.013 --> 0:13:04.333 my back, but I thought that my workplace was going 0:13:04.413 --> 0:13:07.653 to be somewhere I had to advocate for myself and 0:13:07.693 --> 0:13:12.693 the medical system would be supportive as a person with 0:13:12.733 --> 0:13:15.653 a disability who was pregnant. And it just was the 0:13:15.733 --> 0:13:18.852 exact opposite. My workplace. I had a great boss and 0:13:18.893 --> 0:13:23.413 a great hr business partner. They just found every policy 0:13:23.453 --> 0:13:27.133 and every procedure and every available support to help me out. 0:13:27.613 --> 0:13:30.453 They changed the type of work I was doing with 0:13:30.493 --> 0:13:33.293 that impact in my income. They just did everything and 0:13:33.373 --> 0:13:35.293 I never had to stress about work. I never had 0:13:35.333 --> 0:13:37.973 to stress about needing to take a bit of time off. 0:13:37.973 --> 0:13:40.133 I never had to stress about what was going to 0:13:40.173 --> 0:13:42.933 happen when I came back. They went above and beyond. 0:13:43.493 --> 0:13:46.173 I mean, that's how it should be. It's not. Unfortunately, 0:13:46.253 --> 0:13:49.173 it's not like that in every workplace, and I've experienced 0:13:49.173 --> 0:13:52.973 both sides the coin and to have that level of support, 0:13:53.333 --> 0:13:56.973 particularly with something chronic like what you have, yeah, and 0:13:57.133 --> 0:13:59.093 have people being able to be like, you know what, 0:13:59.133 --> 0:14:01.173 it's fine, We're going to make the accommodations because we 0:14:01.293 --> 0:14:04.613 value you as an employee. That is just I'm so 0:14:04.773 --> 0:14:07.533 glad that you at least had that, even though the 0:14:07.613 --> 0:14:10.813 medical system was harder to navigate for you. 0:14:11.093 --> 0:14:12.372 I don't know how I would have been able to 0:14:12.413 --> 0:14:15.253 cope with us fighting fires on two fronts. And bear 0:14:15.293 --> 0:14:18.213 in mind, by the time I'm having this MRI and 0:14:18.213 --> 0:14:20.613 getting this medication and this midwife has sort of ranked 0:14:20.813 --> 0:14:23.333 the doctors. We're in January twenty twenty, we're it like 0:14:23.893 --> 0:14:27.893 COVID's happening over there. It's something that we're not too 0:14:27.933 --> 0:14:32.093 stressed about yet. So by the time I progressed through 0:14:32.133 --> 0:14:34.893 this pregnancy, like, bear in mind, I'm still going to 0:14:34.933 --> 0:14:37.493 the gym four or five times a week because I 0:14:37.573 --> 0:14:41.213 have to keep moving. I've set this target for whatever reason, 0:14:41.693 --> 0:14:43.453 that I'm going to be able to continue to do 0:14:43.813 --> 0:14:46.373 overhead squats, Like if I can keep doing an overhead 0:14:46.373 --> 0:14:49.333 squat with thirty five kilos on the bar, my body's 0:14:49.373 --> 0:14:51.773 going to be doing okay. So say that it's hurting. 0:14:51.813 --> 0:14:55.733 But I'm also like I'm on that bike, like, oh 0:14:55.773 --> 0:14:58.373 my god, I got so circu the bike because it 0:14:58.413 --> 0:15:00.293 was the only way I could get any cardio in 0:15:01.053 --> 0:15:03.813 just doing everything sensible. So stopping the situps when you 0:15:03.813 --> 0:15:05.653 had to stop situps, and I never did a box 0:15:05.733 --> 0:15:07.733 jump because my foot doesn't work. But like I was, 0:15:08.213 --> 0:15:10.013 I was going to the gym and working with people 0:15:10.053 --> 0:15:13.893 I've worked with before I acquired my disability, throughout my disability, 0:15:13.893 --> 0:15:16.053 throughout this pregnancy, to be like, how do I stay 0:15:16.053 --> 0:15:18.173 as strong as I can within the context of this 0:15:19.053 --> 0:15:20.013 unbearable pain. 0:15:20.693 --> 0:15:24.253 Amazing. It's also a testament to your mental strength as well. 0:15:24.773 --> 0:15:27.333 Let's fast forward a little bit to March twenty twenty. 0:15:27.613 --> 0:15:29.933 How far along are you ated in March twenty twenty 0:15:29.973 --> 0:15:31.293 when COVID really hits. 0:15:31.733 --> 0:15:37.293 So by round about March, I'm already not going into 0:15:37.333 --> 0:15:38.933 the city. Oh, because the other thing that happens at 0:15:38.973 --> 0:15:41.053 the end of that year is the bushfires in Melbourne, 0:15:41.093 --> 0:15:43.453 so pregnant people are not supposed to go outside. So like, 0:15:43.573 --> 0:15:45.733 I've been working from home a lot at this point, 0:15:46.013 --> 0:15:48.493 so I'm at home permanently. Like the idea of getting 0:15:48.533 --> 0:15:54.013 into the office is just not possible. I am taking 0:15:54.013 --> 0:15:58.533 these heavy medications like four times a day. I'm still working. 0:15:58.973 --> 0:16:03.173 I'm lying in my bed. My partner stopped working because 0:16:03.373 --> 0:16:05.493 I couldn't even stand to make a piece of toast, 0:16:05.853 --> 0:16:07.613 so I could lie down in bed and do my 0:16:07.733 --> 0:16:12.973 job camera off, but I couldn't really do too much else. 0:16:13.773 --> 0:16:17.453 And so by this point I'm being treated by the 0:16:17.493 --> 0:16:21.133 neurosurgery department within their physio department to help me with 0:16:21.213 --> 0:16:25.013 anything particular that I need. I'm going in and out 0:16:25.053 --> 0:16:27.573 of the hospital three or four times a week at 0:16:27.573 --> 0:16:30.373 this point to be checked and make sure everything's fine. 0:16:30.373 --> 0:16:34.133 But it was probably around that time that they said 0:16:34.173 --> 0:16:37.373 to me, like I was really maxing out the amount 0:16:37.413 --> 0:16:40.653 of pain meds we could take, and they said to me, 0:16:41.293 --> 0:16:46.253 if it wasn't covid would probably take her out. But 0:16:46.333 --> 0:16:50.213 we don't know the effect of COVID on baby's lungs, 0:16:50.573 --> 0:16:52.333 So as long as you can cope with the pain, 0:16:52.613 --> 0:16:54.173 would like to keep her inside. 0:16:54.573 --> 0:16:56.173 How far along we at this point. 0:16:56.053 --> 0:16:59.013 Thirty two thirty three weeks, You don't want to bring 0:16:59.013 --> 0:17:01.613 a baby out early if you don't need to. So 0:17:01.613 --> 0:17:04.093 it was round about Easter time, maybe April. I stopped 0:17:04.173 --> 0:17:08.773 work and the hospital said, if you lose control of 0:17:08.853 --> 0:17:14.013 your foot, your bladder, or your beoll, then irreparable damage 0:17:14.052 --> 0:17:16.093 is happening to your body and will take the baby out. 0:17:16.292 --> 0:17:19.493 But until then, can you take this medication? Can you 0:17:19.493 --> 0:17:21.893 put up with the pain? And I was like, yep, 0:17:21.973 --> 0:17:25.373 we can do that because you're like, you're already a mother, right, 0:17:25.413 --> 0:17:27.653 You're already like, I will do anything for the health 0:17:27.653 --> 0:17:30.092 and safety of this baby. And it wasn't going to 0:17:30.093 --> 0:17:32.213 do a reprobable damage. And I probably spent half my 0:17:32.253 --> 0:17:36.173 life floating in the bath at that point because that 0:17:36.333 --> 0:17:39.052 was a nice feeling, like the temperature and it was 0:17:39.453 --> 0:17:41.853 a good way to take the weight off. And we 0:17:42.053 --> 0:17:48.092 just waited, coming up, You're gonna have to take the 0:17:48.093 --> 0:17:50.933 baby else we can operate on her spine, no preamble, 0:17:51.213 --> 0:17:53.852 no nothing, just goes and dry with that, and the 0:17:53.933 --> 0:17:59.213 midwive's face drops. 0:18:00.613 --> 0:18:03.853 When did Theodora come out? Tell me about her birthday? 0:18:04.413 --> 0:18:07.413 So as everyone who had a baby in COVID knows, like, 0:18:07.573 --> 0:18:11.013 you're in the hospital by yourself. So all my appointments, 0:18:11.053 --> 0:18:13.413 my partner hadn't been able to come with me. But 0:18:13.493 --> 0:18:16.053 I can't walk, like I'm on crutches. I can't walk. 0:18:16.093 --> 0:18:18.093 I need a wheelchair once I get into the into 0:18:18.133 --> 0:18:22.532 the hospital. So for thea's birth, it's Mother's Day twenty twenty, 0:18:22.573 --> 0:18:26.532 It's a Sunday, and I call out to my partner. 0:18:26.613 --> 0:18:29.852 I'm like, hey, so I can't move my foot and 0:18:29.893 --> 0:18:32.693 they're like, Okay, I guess we're having a baby today. 0:18:32.973 --> 0:18:35.893 And do you know what's the most ridiculous thing. We 0:18:35.973 --> 0:18:38.133 hadn't packed a bag. Do you know how much like 0:18:38.293 --> 0:18:41.453 energy and like Instagram is actually dedicated to like what 0:18:41.533 --> 0:18:43.413 to put in your bag? We were so distracted with 0:18:43.453 --> 0:18:46.973 everything else, we were like surprised we were having a baby. Anyway. 0:18:47.853 --> 0:18:51.733 So we go into the hospital on the Mother's Day 0:18:51.813 --> 0:18:54.693 afternoon and I'm really adamant the whole way through, even 0:18:54.733 --> 0:18:56.613 though it's my spine that was not doing well. I 0:18:56.693 --> 0:18:59.092 was not going into the main hospital. I was always 0:18:59.173 --> 0:19:01.253 coming into the maternity hospital and they can bring the 0:19:01.293 --> 0:19:04.693 specialist over. So they bring the specialist over. And it's 0:19:04.733 --> 0:19:06.973 Mother's Days to the really, you know, if one's with 0:19:07.053 --> 0:19:09.453 their families, and we get we're going to guess, like 0:19:09.453 --> 0:19:12.893 the more junior doctors. So we're in the room with 0:19:13.293 --> 0:19:17.373 my partner, a medwife, an obstetrician in the emergency room. 0:19:17.653 --> 0:19:20.693 The neurosurgery junior I'm going to guess, comes in and 0:19:21.733 --> 0:19:24.572 touches my foot, doesn't move, goes away. It causes boss 0:19:24.613 --> 0:19:28.413 comes back and says, yeah, so you're gonna have to 0:19:28.413 --> 0:19:30.532 take the baby out so we can operate on her spine. 0:19:30.773 --> 0:19:33.852 No preamble, no, nothing, just goes and dry with that, 0:19:34.173 --> 0:19:39.213 and the midwives face drops, like midwives have seen everything, 0:19:39.733 --> 0:19:43.013 and your face drops, and that's the moment where we're like, oh, 0:19:43.053 --> 0:19:46.853 this doesn't happen very often. She composes herself, as does Osressia, 0:19:46.933 --> 0:19:49.213 like no one's unprofessional in that in that moment. But 0:19:49.293 --> 0:19:52.613 they just sort of what felt like pushing up against 0:19:52.613 --> 0:19:55.893 the system and constantly advocating for myself. Once that happened, 0:19:55.893 --> 0:19:57.973 they just went, they launched, and they were like, right, 0:19:58.533 --> 0:19:59.493 this is what we're gonna do. 0:20:00.933 --> 0:20:02.213 They finally became a team. 0:20:03.133 --> 0:20:06.893 They became a team. So I actually have a sensitivity 0:20:07.293 --> 0:20:09.653 to some types of anesthetics. So I had to go 0:20:09.693 --> 0:20:15.013 speak to the anethetist in the maternity hospital, and it 0:20:15.053 --> 0:20:18.453 was a really interesting conversation because that trying to make 0:20:18.493 --> 0:20:22.413 sure that you have the most gauging birth right, that 0:20:22.693 --> 0:20:24.613 they want you to be there when the baby comes 0:20:24.613 --> 0:20:28.013 out rather than under general anesthetic, and also there's risks 0:20:28.013 --> 0:20:30.173 when you're under general anesthetic because it goes and it 0:20:30.213 --> 0:20:33.373 gets into the baby pretty quick. But in my case, 0:20:33.933 --> 0:20:36.693 the anethetist, I think, first of all, said Oh, you're 0:20:36.733 --> 0:20:39.893 an exciting case today, so that was cool. I wasn't 0:20:39.893 --> 0:20:43.332 obstetrically boring in that moment. And then said, oh, well, 0:20:43.693 --> 0:20:46.533 because you've got scar tissue in your lower spine from 0:20:46.533 --> 0:20:50.453 your spinal surgery, if we put an epidural in here, 0:20:51.533 --> 0:20:54.613 you might feel some of the cuts. And I was like, 0:20:54.813 --> 0:20:57.173 absolutely not. I don't want that. I don't want that 0:20:57.253 --> 0:21:00.253 at all. I know No. It was just this really 0:21:00.293 --> 0:21:02.893 bizarre like is that would that be okay by you? 0:21:03.093 --> 0:21:06.133 And I'm like, no, I don't want to feel any 0:21:06.173 --> 0:21:07.333 part of that sea section. 0:21:07.653 --> 0:21:08.373 That's insane. 0:21:08.813 --> 0:21:10.572 Look in the moment, I was just looking at them 0:21:10.693 --> 0:21:12.613 like is this a real question? Like how do I 0:21:12.653 --> 0:21:14.373 really have to respond and say no, thank you, I 0:21:14.373 --> 0:21:16.333 don't want to feel any incision of my sea section. 0:21:16.693 --> 0:21:18.693 But I mean, on the flip side, I end up 0:21:18.733 --> 0:21:21.853 under general anesthetic for the birth. My partner couldn't be 0:21:21.933 --> 0:21:25.653 in the room because it's really confronting to see your 0:21:26.093 --> 0:21:30.053 loved ones out under anesthetic, but they had. I think 0:21:30.093 --> 0:21:32.293 they took her out with them under a minute of. 0:21:32.333 --> 0:21:33.693