Speaker 1: Welcome to the Sees the Yay Podcast.
Speaker 2: Busy and happy are not the same thing. We too
Speaker 2: rarely question what makes the heart seeing. We work, then
Speaker 2: we rest, but rarely we play and often don't realize
Speaker 2: there's more than one way. So this is a platform
Speaker 2: to hear and explore the stories of those who found lives.
Speaker 1: They adore, the good, bad and ugly, the best and
Speaker 1: worst day will bear all the facets of seizing your yea.
Speaker 1: I'm Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah. A lawyer
Speaker 1: turned funentrepreneurs walked the suits and heels to co found
Speaker 1: Matcha Maiden and Matcha Milk bar cz Ya is a
Speaker 1: series of conversations on finding a life you love and
Speaker 1: exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment along the way.
Speaker 1: Welcome back, Bim, there you Bim.
Speaker 3: Congratulations.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's been like a month, Bim.
Speaker 3: We can't keep starting the podcast like that.
Speaker 1: What it's been a bomb?
Speaker 3: Let's stay how long it's been. It's been seven weeks.
Speaker 1: Welcome back. It has been a long time and we
Speaker 1: have had a really exciting announcement since then. But I
Speaker 1: love how you always are like this is brand new information,
Speaker 1: even though you knew on like day one. Okay, I
Speaker 1: have to say a minute one.
Speaker 3: With your pregnancy, like we've just discussed we do this.
Speaker 3: I don't know why we did our catch up before.
Speaker 1: We don't usually what do you mean before we started recording? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we usually do it on the record. Yeah. I was like,
Speaker 1: tell me everything in case. It was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: don't want to make a puff. I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 1: I had some secrets.
Speaker 3: Mean, no, no, I was saying that it's still every
Speaker 3: time it feels like news to me because I just
Speaker 3: I'm not doesn't register in my brain that you are
Speaker 3: with child.
Speaker 1: I know. I think it's because I've got such a
Speaker 1: small bump. Yeah, still possible to not acknowledge it immediately.
Speaker 3: That and that you physically don't like your face and
Speaker 3: your body doesn't look like that hasn't changed dramatically, and
Speaker 3: also your workload.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm still very a lot more. I mean I
Speaker 1: woke up at eleven thirty today. You were like, what
Speaker 1: times you we meet twelve?
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, yeah, I mentioned that at seven am,
Speaker 3: being like she remembers why for an these five hours?
Speaker 1: I'm sure I replied it like eleventh thirty.
Speaker 3: You like sounds good, like you were compromising for me.
Speaker 1: That was actually one of the questions that someone asked.
Speaker 1: I put up a little Q and A on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and because I always want to make sure that I'm
Speaker 1: answering questions you actually are interested in, and particularly with
Speaker 1: this is such a big lifestyle change that I really
Speaker 1: didn't want to suddenly just become a pregnancy page because
Speaker 1: even though that's a big part of my life and
Speaker 1: the page is, you know, just reflecting literally what is
Speaker 1: happening around me at the time, I know there are
Speaker 1: lots of people that it's not relevant to their life
Speaker 1: stage or they're not so interested in it. So I
Speaker 1: didn't want to make it like my whole personality. So
Speaker 1: I was like, what are you actually interested in? What
Speaker 1: aren't you in? One of them was like, how did
Speaker 1: you hide it while you were like traveling around and work.
Speaker 3: Genuinely, which we will get to. We will get to,
Speaker 3: and it was very interesting. But at the same time,
Speaker 3: I don't feel like you overly curate your page to
Speaker 3: reflect what people want to see, because even day to
Speaker 3: day I would always forget that you were pregnant because
Speaker 3: you just never made it like we every now and
Speaker 3: then we'd be like, oh my god, or every time
Speaker 3: we saw each other it'd be like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: But then we'd go and you'd paint the house and
Speaker 3: be like, oh, I wasn't meant to paint, or be like.
Speaker 1: Hey, yeah, wait, hold on, I didn't check the like
Speaker 1: it's just Hume rating a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it just didn't really like you never really made
Speaker 3: it your whole identity. And I don't think you. I
Speaker 3: don't know. You just have so much going on that
Speaker 3: it's almost hard to that be your sole focus.
Speaker 1: Which has actually been really nice because I feel like
Speaker 1: it's a really amazing life transition and so exciting. And
Speaker 1: of course there'll be a point when the baby actually
Speaker 1: arrives where it will consume everything for a short amount
Speaker 1: of time or a long amount of time, depending but
Speaker 1: right now it is really nice to still have a balance,
Speaker 1: like I don't want it to be everything I talk about,
Speaker 1: even though I'm so excited about it. One of the
Speaker 1: nicest parts of it was actually keeping it a secret,
Speaker 1: because I don't ever keep secrets, like I share everything
Speaker 1: straight away, which I love. Like some people always ask,
Speaker 1: do you find it weird, and I'm like, no, I
Speaker 1: volunteer that information, like I love sharing.
Speaker 3: I can't believe you're pregnant still, I'm telling you, unless
Speaker 3: I visualize like a newborn child in your arms.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, nah, I know, I know, it's so weird,
Speaker 1: even we've been like that.
Speaker 3: But it's crazy because there's so many So much of
Speaker 3: this pregnancy is feels perfect, like the house just happened
Speaker 3: and is finishing in ready entirely for baby, and then
Speaker 3: kind of like the changing of hands. Someone had commented
Speaker 3: it was like Paul's gift, which I thought was really cute.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I wrote a story the other day
Speaker 1: about how so one of the beautiful, beautiful things, even
Speaker 1: though I've cried so many tears knowing that Paul will
Speaker 1: never meet the baby, and that was really really hard
Speaker 1: for me because I just always envisioned that my pregnancy
Speaker 1: would involve Paul just being around, and he's such a
Speaker 1: support whenever you got whenever you don't feel well. You know,
Speaker 1: dogs are like everything in those moments. But the week
Speaker 1: that he passed away was the Monday, and we were
Speaker 1: already pregnant, but we were in that agonizing weight, which
Speaker 1: we'll talk about after between knowing we were pregnant but
Speaker 1: hearing a heartbeat, which was kind of where we got
Speaker 1: the bad news earlier in the year, and our first
Speaker 1: scan hearing the heartbeat was like two days later. So
Speaker 1: I kind of like I saw that as Paul like
Speaker 1: passing on his heartbeat to another little being and stop
Speaker 1: and crying because it was like kids like I can't
Speaker 1: be I can't be here, but I'll pass on my
Speaker 1: heartbeat to someone else. Oh my god, I lost it.
Speaker 1: I lost it. I lose it all the time. I know.
Speaker 1: But before we get to the pregnancy questions, what's happened?
Speaker 1: I think we left it last episode on the amount
Speaker 1: of people who have also used on an empty cardboard
Speaker 1: toilet roll to white when there's no paper.
Speaker 3: No, I would say the vast amount was like three
Speaker 3: other people that said okay, No.
Speaker 1: I had so many dms of people being like anyone
Speaker 1: who says no is lying.
Speaker 3: Anyone that says yes in a DM is hiding their truth.
Speaker 3: Leave your truth, honey, put it in the comment. Come on.
Speaker 1: We've also been to Korea since then, which you guys
Speaker 1: know was incredibly, incredibly special and now you all appreciate
Speaker 1: I think why it was extra special knowing we had
Speaker 1: a little bundle and I did tell our foster parents
Speaker 1: that we were pregnant when we were there, and it
Speaker 1: was they I can't even explain, like they were crying
Speaker 1: already before we even told them, and then it was perfect.
Speaker 1: They brought a gift for Nick which was Jin saying,
Speaker 1: oh my god, koream Jin things like you know, for energy,
Speaker 1: and they were like even better. We thought it was
Speaker 1: energy to like make a baby, and now it's energy
Speaker 1: to keep up with the baby.
Speaker 3: Do they give like that root in a bottle thing?
Speaker 1: It was in like little supplement sashet things.
Speaker 3: Oh what's that one where it's like looks like a
Speaker 3: root in a bottle like preserved?
Speaker 1: Probably couldn't bring that back into Australia.
Speaker 3: We really just declaring that security we locked apart.
Speaker 1: I love that show because.
Speaker 3: It's like another Vietnamese process.
Speaker 1: It's literally the stuff that he brings up, like, oh
Speaker 1: we got that one. I want to wrap that better.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we've we've had a lot going on since our
Speaker 1: last because Nick and I did the Last Years of
Speaker 1: our Lives as a Diaries episode, which was so much fun.
Speaker 1: Have you listened to it yet yes, whatever, haven't you'd
Speaker 1: be so proud of him. So he actually opened up
Speaker 1: so much, except it was hilarious. I was like, what
Speaker 1: are your sort of biggest on day one? Like we
Speaker 1: did our surprise highlight and lesson every day and my
Speaker 1: surprise was like it's so clean, it's you know, just
Speaker 1: normal people. Things like the skincare is amazing. And my
Speaker 1: highlight was wearing a hardback in public because it was
Speaker 1: so special to do something he was like economic growth,
Speaker 1: the GDP from the eighties now and Samsung and the
Speaker 1: founder of like day and.
Speaker 3: The low light was you have to put your toy
Speaker 3: paper in a bin.
Speaker 1: You know. The low light was he couldn't find any
Speaker 1: rubbish bins, so every day he had to carry his
Speaker 1: coffee cup until we got back.
Speaker 3: To I've never really even registered that.
Speaker 1: Because you don't carry coffee cup with you.
Speaker 3: We our family love South Korea and I couldn't tell
Speaker 3: you why. I actually truly couldn't tell you why because
Speaker 3: I think people will say, if you compare South Korea Japan,
Speaker 3: it's most people automatically in Japan, and we love Japan.
Speaker 3: It'stillthing about South Korea.
Speaker 1: See, I think if you've been to both, you resonate
Speaker 1: with the idea that Korea is like the cheekier loosis system.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the pubescent teen version like.
Speaker 1: Still has the efficiency, cleanliness, technological advances, like amazing cute
Speaker 1: cartoon characters and everything, but a little bit less rigid
Speaker 1: and orderly, a bit more.
Speaker 3: Like cheeky, still super respectful, polite, so polite.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he was hilarious. Every day he was like
Speaker 1: the bins, the economic growth markers, and then the other
Speaker 1: thing was the cute little fire hydrants that all sit
Speaker 1: on this little gold stand, And he was like every
Speaker 1: day he'd walk past and be like, well done, buddy,
Speaker 1: it looks like.
Speaker 3: Is ready to be a dad? Nick is actually Dad's
Speaker 3: born ready? You know that Nick does that thing where
Speaker 3: he goes and he goes. You see that tree. When
Speaker 3: I was twelve, I ran, I ran past that tree so.
Speaker 1: Fast you haven't seen me, you wouldn't know.
Speaker 3: But this gravel path used to be bitumen.
Speaker 1: And the economics behind bitchumen globally is.
Speaker 3: That Nick Nick to he's like random as facts and
Speaker 3: then like somehow he was he makes it seem like
Speaker 3: he was born like a hundred years ago.
Speaker 1: He was a well kind of. I mean we rode horses,
Speaker 1: but you know how like sometimes he doesn't let his
Speaker 1: whole personality shit in the Soul Diaries because we were
Speaker 1: recording on the go with the like portable mic, so
Speaker 1: he wasn't in like, oh, people are going to listen
Speaker 1: to this mode, So he just was chatting normally, like
Speaker 1: cracking all these weird dad jokes and yeah, I'll listened
Speaker 1: on the way it's your laugh. So much like knowing
Speaker 1: him and knowing how he normally sounds when he knows
Speaker 1: he's being recorded versus and we were just like in
Speaker 1: the hotel room together. He was so like talking about
Speaker 1: the facial and how upset he was that like he
Speaker 1: had to take his aunties off and put on the
Speaker 1: disposable boxes. Yeah, that took up twenty minutes of the episode,
Speaker 1: which I was like Nikoy talking about Korean culture.
Speaker 3: Would you do you if you like took your kid
Speaker 3: first ever holiday famine holiday? Would you do the would
Speaker 3: you do career? And meet the see the orphanage again?
Speaker 1: I think I would like our child to have a
Speaker 1: consciousness of that maybe, like I feel like I would
Speaker 1: love to take them back as a baby for our
Speaker 1: foster parents and for everyone to meet them, but they
Speaker 1: won't have memories of that, so I think I'd probably
Speaker 1: want to wait until until they're a little bit older
Speaker 1: and could remember and maybe not appreciate the entire significance
Speaker 1: but kind of understand, well, you know, why they're there.
Speaker 1: Whereas family holidays like Disneyland and stuff like that, that's
Speaker 1: exciting to a kid no matter what, Like, they don't
Speaker 1: need to understand what adoption means to kind of go there.
Speaker 1: So definitely it will be a big meaningful trip again
Speaker 1: when we get to take so ah ma, oh my god.
Speaker 1: So much has been going on. So yes, I promise
Speaker 1: I will not make my whole personality this pregnancy, but
Speaker 1: we do have a lot of backlogged content given that
Speaker 1: we kept everything a secret for so long, And I
Speaker 1: think most of you will understand having you know, kind
Speaker 1: of come along the ride with us with our miscarriage
Speaker 1: and pregnancy lost earlier in the year. I understand that hesitant,
Speaker 1: you know, hesitation. I think to not just announce it
Speaker 1: straight away at twelve weeks because I've had a much
Speaker 1: smaller bump. I also was like, I'm just going to
Speaker 1: wait until I feel like more secure in announcing it.
Speaker 1: You know, it did change things, and that's one of
Speaker 1: the questions.
Speaker 3: So with even with I personally have some many questions
Speaker 3: that I feel like you should answer for the audience.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, can you please add your rero.
Speaker 3: It's more like behind the scenes stuff, things like, yeah,
Speaker 3: when did you first tell someone and how did you
Speaker 3: tell them? How? Because I think in the last one
Speaker 3: we had questions about do you feel like it would
Speaker 3: kind of stunt the celebration of the next one?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a question this time around as well.
Speaker 3: And I think we discussed it in the miscarriage one
Speaker 3: when you said yes and no, like you a bit
Speaker 3: more cautious. What but I thought you wouldn't tell me
Speaker 3: until later, way later, for just from like a self
Speaker 3: protective mechanism response. But it was funny because how Sarah
Speaker 3: told me the first time she told me tell you,
Speaker 3: I was riding home from.
Speaker 1: Get off your bike and pull over in an alleyway.
Speaker 3: I was riding home in like pitch black, and you
Speaker 3: just found out you had messaged my partner and was like,
Speaker 3: where is aunt? And she was like at training or
Speaker 3: you were trying to get her to film my reaction,
Speaker 3: and I was riding home they do to do, and
Speaker 3: we're going to see each other the next day for
Speaker 3: a podcast. I couldn't wait, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: And I was so blindsided. I didn't think you'd be pregnant,
Speaker 3: more so because I didn't think it'd be this fast
Speaker 3: after previous one and knowing that you'd only just done
Speaker 3: your one cycle of the hormone, and so you were like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm going to take you something, and then I not.
Speaker 3: I actually didn't even think you'd say you're pregnant really,
Speaker 3: because you were like, oh are you where are you?
Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm riding home.
Speaker 1: It's like, get off your bike.
Speaker 3: I was like, she was like yeah, you like, get
Speaker 3: off your bike, get off the road. Okay, So I
Speaker 3: was riding holding this bike down pretty park, pitch black,
Speaker 3: middle of winter.
Speaker 1: And then do that. Yeah, and then you would.
Speaker 3: And then I said, do I need to sit down?
Speaker 3: Because no? You said no really, Because I was like,
Speaker 3: if I need to sit down, it'll probably probably be significant.
Speaker 1: What did I just say?
Speaker 3: Used a stand up the road? Yeah, You're like, oh no,
Speaker 3: just like just stop writing probably, And then you said
Speaker 3: it and I was like squealing. But then the optics
Speaker 3: of one single girl squealing in the middle of a park. Yeah,
Speaker 3: was not.
Speaker 1: I didn't think it through.
Speaker 3: So I sat down on the curb and I was
Speaker 3: like hyperventilating. I was like, we couldn't wait to it
Speaker 3: tomorrow and You're.
Speaker 1: Like, no, no, couldn't couldn't do it? How could I wait?
Speaker 3: And it was like six six weeks. I think you
Speaker 3: had the six was the scan? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it was literally like the minute I knew that, yeah,
Speaker 1: we had a heartbeat, I had to tell you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also because like I think, and we'll go into
Speaker 1: this when the question comes up, but I think also
Speaker 1: there are certain people who's routine in your life. It's impossible.
Speaker 1: Like the minute I said hard approached egg, you would
Speaker 1: have been like, like, you know, there's just certain things
Speaker 1: that are so Or if I said no ghast cheese,
Speaker 1: you just be like, Okay, that's hilarious. If I said
Speaker 1: no alcohol, you'd be like whatever. But if I said
Speaker 1: no ghast cheese and a hard poach deck, you'd be like,
Speaker 1: summons up.
Speaker 3: And then it would have been the whole painting thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, true, true, true.
Speaker 3: I wait two more questions about it all. How did
Speaker 3: your family react.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, they're so excited. Yeah, so excited like
Speaker 1: beside themselves.
Speaker 3: Like the same as before, or they were a bit
Speaker 3: more cautious with their celebrations time.
Speaker 1: I think they were the same. They were the same
Speaker 1: level excited, and then they were I think they understood
Speaker 1: that we would be more cautious, so they were a
Speaker 1: little bit more thoughtful about like buying presents or talking
Speaker 1: about getting the nursery ready and stuff. So they let
Speaker 1: us guide the pace a lot more. But they definitely
Speaker 1: them showing their excitement was not any more curtail to
Speaker 1: that mom is losing her actual shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but your mom losing her shit is like I okay,
Speaker 3: I've found it a new analogy for your mom because
Speaker 3: she's like a cold golden retriever human.
Speaker 1: Yeah one percent.
Speaker 3: You know when goldies get so excited, yeah, like like
Speaker 3: their whole hip, but they don't like they like don't
Speaker 3: like like Poidon didn't bark, like they didn't like jump
Speaker 3: or anything. But he got so excited you have to.
Speaker 1: It's like displaced.
Speaker 3: So your mom's like like very physically like but like
Speaker 3: internally even more. But she like yeah, like that's your mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And she's Mom. I mean, I don't. I think
Speaker 1: if you've been listening to the podcast for a while,
Speaker 1: you'll understand Mom's personality just from us talking about her.
Speaker 1: She is like a born caerra, like born to be
Speaker 1: a mother, a nurturer, a grandmother and adopted mother, a
Speaker 1: protector like and her whole life is toys and fairies
Speaker 1: and like she went, even when she has no one
Speaker 1: to buy for, she'll just walk into her DEAs kids
Speaker 1: and just look at cute stuff like she this is
Speaker 1: her moment. She is so excited. So yeah, the family
Speaker 1: and my brother, oh my god, he lost it, lost
Speaker 1: his mind. And Alex he cried about the first about
Speaker 1: the miscarriage, like he's and he doesn't. You guys know
Speaker 1: he doesn't. He's twenty first, total hard nut and he
Speaker 1: was ready for for a little niece or nephew. And
Speaker 1: this time around saying the day we found out the gender,
Speaker 1: he was like you and had already had things in
Speaker 1: the cart and he was like, you need to tell
Speaker 1: me so I can order the girl another boy one
Speaker 1: Like he's ready, He's so ready. Everyone's so excited.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll go into some questions that you of course,
Speaker 3: a type personality have categorized in chronological order well, because
Speaker 3: there was some that overlapped.
Speaker 1: And I also have to say, I'm so grateful, and
Speaker 1: I know I say this every time we do a
Speaker 1: Q and A, but you guys always ask the most interesting, thoughtful,
Speaker 1: invested question, which then for me is the loveliest occasion
Speaker 1: to reflect because often you don't you don't ask yourself
Speaker 1: these questions otherwise, so I've already had fun just reading
Speaker 1: them and thinking, that's a really interesting question. I ever
Speaker 1: thought of that. So thank you for always being so
Speaker 1: kind and never asking and no one ever asked anything inappropriate.
Speaker 3: You have really great.
Speaker 1: Community, so respectful, and I really I really love you
Speaker 1: guys for that. Yeah, and for being so excited about
Speaker 1: the pregnancy. Like I thought, Paul passing away broke the Internet,
Speaker 1: but like this rot.
Speaker 3: Remember we were.
Speaker 1: On the phone page.
Speaker 3: We were on the phone because Sarah messaged me and
Speaker 3: it was like, oh, which photo you know, like those
Speaker 3: memes it's like to identify, yeah, your best your best
Speaker 3: friend response, as if they didn't help you just choose
Speaker 3: that photo.
Speaker 1: And I literally said you and I was like which one?
Speaker 1: You're like the same, and I was like, no, I'm
Speaker 1: putting pretty much.
Speaker 3: I just made the fifty to fifty chose one and
Speaker 3: I hope it was the one.
Speaker 1: That you like. And then I was like, oh me too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you were like yeah, that one. I was like, wait, wait,
Speaker 3: which did you like? I was like, yeah, yeah, that
Speaker 3: one definitely for those exact same reasons. Tell me your
Speaker 3: reasons and i'll and I'll tell you it's so dull.
Speaker 3: And then yeah, I was on the phone with you
Speaker 3: as you posted it and it was going nuts.
Speaker 1: It was so nice, so really lovely.
Speaker 3: Anyway, So in order of chronological order of process of pregnancies,
Speaker 3: how you've categorized this?
Speaker 1: Yes, And then there were three that I just that
Speaker 1: are more visual that I'll answer on Instagram, but I
Speaker 1: wanted to acknowledge them here because if I don't answer them,
Speaker 1: you might think where is the answer to that? And
Speaker 1: it will be on Instagram.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll put that last for flow of order.
Speaker 1: I don't put them first because I think one of
Speaker 1: them is like an int question, you know, for the
Speaker 1: flower of the ideas.
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't know. I don't know which question of
Speaker 3: this flows, but I don't know. I can't remember the
Speaker 3: first one is bump friendly outfits.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, so that's definitely a visual one and
Speaker 1: I'll share that on Instagram. And I also must say
Speaker 1: I have a very small bump, so I probably am
Speaker 1: not quite yet expert enough to share, but I have
Speaker 1: done a bit of bump hiding, so yes, we'll share
Speaker 1: that on Instagram. So keep your eyes. We've done a
Speaker 1: lot of bump, yeah, but like really small bump. And
Speaker 1: also the bump has done a lot of hiding, so yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll talk about that also about the bump.
Speaker 3: The next question I'm going to I'm going to hope
Speaker 3: the last question I asked is a good security, but
Speaker 3: which will you keep the gender a surprise?
Speaker 1: Yeah, this was a really lovely question. We've already announced
Speaker 1: the gender. So the first post that we did with
Speaker 1: the ultrasound, I don't think i'd mentioned the gender in it.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I hadn't like I didn't do
Speaker 1: that on purpose. But then a nurse was like, by
Speaker 1: the way, there's a massive penis in that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I wouldn't know pick that out.
Speaker 1: Well, I think once I'll show you. Once you look
Speaker 1: at it again. Healthcare people or anyone in maternity is
Speaker 1: like it's you know, and it's leg No, it's like, no, bim,
Speaker 1: you can see the legs as well. It's like he's growing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, good boy, okay boy. And then I
Speaker 1: mentioned it in the second one, so we were getting
Speaker 1: it at all. Okay, But second part of that question
Speaker 1: is Nick refuse to do a gender reveal, like he was,
Speaker 1: so any you announce how you want, We do the video,
Speaker 1: we do the post. Whatever makes you comfortable, and this
Speaker 1: is our baby. But like your pregnancy and your body changes,
Speaker 1: so you you dictate the narrative. Except I will not
Speaker 1: do a gender reveal.
Speaker 3: Okay, I have to agree with that with Nick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was like, never seen a good one. I've
Speaker 1: just they make me cring. She and you know, and
Speaker 1: yeah it's yeah. So he was like that's the only
Speaker 1: thing he put his foot down on. So we just
Speaker 1: like slipped it into a.
Speaker 3: I could not imagine little dick and be like, oh.
Speaker 1: My god, yeah, our poor baby has a But also
Speaker 1: we would have we would have done one with Paul
Speaker 1: a gender reveal. I think we could have like had
Speaker 1: him have like a doggy cake or like a balloon
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 3: I was so.
Speaker 1: We've known that for twelve years. No. I think if
Speaker 1: we could have involved Paul, it would have been like
Speaker 1: easy to make it. Yeah sweet but yeah.
Speaker 3: And then the last of the three visual ones is
Speaker 3: will your content be changing to pregnancy pregnancy slash baby things?
Speaker 1: Yes, lovely question, And as I mentioned before, I think,
Speaker 1: obviously I just kind of post whatever's happening in my
Speaker 1: life generally, so even when I'm traveling more, it becomes
Speaker 1: a travel account. When I'm not traveling, it's a home account.
Speaker 1: When I'm like run down, it's about health. So I
Speaker 1: think it'll be the same. I definitely don't want to
Speaker 1: turn it into like a baby pregnancy account, but I
Speaker 1: also don't I don't think i'll overthink it too much.
Speaker 1: I think I'll just post about what's happening, and part
Speaker 1: of that will be about pregnancy. And already since announcing,
Speaker 1: it's only been a week or something, but I've done,
Speaker 1: you know, the two pregnancy posts, and then everything else
Speaker 1: has just been everything else I've been doing that wasn't
Speaker 1: related to pregnancy at all. So I think it'll just
Speaker 1: continue to be the same, and I will have conscious
Speaker 1: in the back of my mind that I don't want
Speaker 1: it to become my entire identity, but I also don't
Speaker 1: want to curtail the celebration part of it. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: as so far, like I sort of apologize in advance
Speaker 1: for the bombardment in at least the next couple of
Speaker 1: weeks while we're backlogging through content and questions, but everyone
Speaker 1: was like, please keep posting, like we find it really interesting.
Speaker 1: A lot of people are on their conception journey or
Speaker 1: they're pregnant and you know, want the recommendations or there
Speaker 1: you know, they've had kids and they like reflecting on
Speaker 1: that period. So yeah, I think I'll just keep my
Speaker 1: finger on the pulse with people's reactions and see.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think also important to be the open
Speaker 3: person that you are, Like if you feel like you
Speaker 3: want to, yeah, if it's.
Speaker 1: Like a very pregnancy heavy day, I'll talk about it.
Speaker 1: And then if I I've had days where I forget myself,
Speaker 1: so I think it'll be like balanced.
Speaker 3: I just keep down with your ibs.
Speaker 1: Well that too.
Speaker 3: Again, now not mutually explain now into the pre trying stage.
Speaker 1: Yes, and for anyone listening who who is trying to
Speaker 1: conceive or going through, you know, various parts of the
Speaker 1: trying to conceive process. There are a lot of questions
Speaker 1: about the miscarriage, so trigger warning for this section if
Speaker 1: you want to fast forward to the pregnancy part or
Speaker 1: let's give this episode altogether.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Also on the topic of people trying, oh, okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: is more so just acknowledging that a lot of people
Speaker 3: haven't had, haven't had I'm still trying, yes, and it's
Speaker 3: a journey for everyone.
Speaker 1: Absolutely appreciate that.
Speaker 3: But first question, how long were you a hormonal contraceptive
Speaker 3: before trying?
Speaker 1: Great question, and it's so hard to know. I mean,
Speaker 1: so many of us just got slapped on the pill
Speaker 1: when we were so young without really understanding. I came
Speaker 1: off the pill about twenty four about two years before
Speaker 1: starting to try, So how long it was I think
Speaker 1: twenty four months. I think we thought it was to
Speaker 1: be a year, and then Nick's dad got really unwell,
Speaker 1: and then it and COVID and everything kind of delayed
Speaker 1: that us starting to actively try, which was fine because
Speaker 1: it took my body a while to get a natural
Speaker 1: cycle back, and I think I had fifty six day cycles,
Speaker 1: really really long for the first twelve to eighteen months.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was a bit less than two years, but
Speaker 1: it was definitely between sort of eighteen to twenty four months.
Speaker 3: And how long were you on the pill?
Speaker 1: Four like ten years more? I reckon ten years at
Speaker 1: it more maybe fifteen so I your dad. They was
Speaker 1: so like I was on it for a really long time.
Speaker 1: My cycles became regular, but they were long regular, so
Speaker 1: it was impossible to know when I was ovulating. And interestingly,
Speaker 1: after the miscarriage, they went back to normal thirty day cycles.
Speaker 3: So right away, Yeah, I remember you showed me. You
Speaker 3: were like, you wouldn't believe it. It was No, it
Speaker 3: wasn't you were saying, it's exactly twenty eight days.
Speaker 1: I think it was thirty, but still was between twenty
Speaker 1: eight and thirty from fifty.
Speaker 3: Sixty sixty but consistent every single month.
Speaker 1: Totally Consistentane and a lot of people have that anecdotal
Speaker 1: experience about a miscarriage kind of resetting your body's cycles.
Speaker 1: It's really interesting. Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, now into the miscarriage. Yep, did you do
Speaker 3: accupuntch of post miscarriage.
Speaker 1: I've been a big acupuncture lover for many, many years,
Speaker 1: particularly through chronic fatigue. Has always been a really big
Speaker 1: part of my health and well being. Kind of toolkit
Speaker 1: but I didn't after the miscarriage because I gave my body.
Speaker 1: I got my period back six weeks after the DNC operation,
Speaker 1: which was way quicker than I thought it was going
Speaker 1: to be, so especially in that first cycle, I just thought,
Speaker 1: just don't do anything like not just no acupuncture, no,
Speaker 1: nothing like, just let your body just figure out when
Speaker 1: it wants to get it cycle back. Just let it here.
Speaker 1: Be very gentle. I didn't really do anything. I just
Speaker 1: kind of ate well, slept well, was very gentle on myself.
Speaker 1: And then once that came back, we were like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we've got one cycle naturally, which means we can technically
Speaker 1: start trying again. And that was the question will come
Speaker 1: up later, so I'll cover it in a different question.
Speaker 1: But that was the next cycle, we started ovulation induction
Speaker 1: as a sort of aid to trying to get pregnant.
Speaker 1: So I thought, while I'm doing that protocol, I don't
Speaker 1: want to have too many things going on, not that
Speaker 1: they clash or anything, but I personally just wanted to
Speaker 1: be able to track what my body was responding to
Speaker 1: without having different possibilities. And then the third cycle we
Speaker 1: got pregnant, so I didn't actually ever revisit acapuncture, but
Speaker 1: I have heard wonderful, wonderful things about it, especially if
Speaker 1: it takes you a little bit longer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, speaking of that question is kind of the
Speaker 3: next question is too, if you could tell us more
Speaker 3: about what ovulation induction is.
Speaker 1: Yes, So, there are so many different stages in fertility spectrum,
Speaker 1: and one of them, for one of the kind of
Speaker 1: earlier less intense than IVF, less intense than IUI, is
Speaker 1: ovulation induction for people who have irregular cycles or just
Speaker 1: don't know when they ovulate. So that makes it really
Speaker 1: hard to know when you can try because you can
Speaker 1: only try when you're ovulating, and that's sort of a
Speaker 1: two day, forty eight hour period, and then because of
Speaker 1: the life cycle of sperm and eggs, there's a few
Speaker 1: more days either side, but it's a very specific timed window.
Speaker 1: And when I had fifty six.
Speaker 3: Day cycles, no idea.
Speaker 1: That's just so impossible unless I was being on a
Speaker 1: stick every day, like I had no way of knowing.
Speaker 1: So your chances are already so messed up by just having
Speaker 1: no guidance about when. So because of that, the fertility
Speaker 1: specialist that I was working with suggested ovulation induction, which
Speaker 1: is the injection video that I uploaded. So it's a
Speaker 1: very small needle, looks like a pen and it's a
Speaker 1: trigger shot, so you give yourself the shot. They teach
Speaker 1: you how to do it. It's not a huge vaccination
Speaker 1: type needle. It's like really small. You can ice it
Speaker 1: so your numb so you don't really feel it going.
Speaker 1: It wasn't nearly as scary as it looks, and that
Speaker 1: brings on your ovulation. So they give you ultrasounds and
Speaker 1: they check that you're getting close to natural ovulation, and
Speaker 1: then they'll say, okay, we think it's going to happen
Speaker 1: in the next sort of forty eight hours, so on
Speaker 1: this day take the injection and that guarantees that in
Speaker 1: that block you will ovulate. So then they tell you
Speaker 1: it's very clinical, but they're like, you take the injection
Speaker 1: on this day and then you have sex on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, and that at least make sure that
Speaker 1: you're putting in the effort in a window where it's
Speaker 1: going to matter rather than you're just stabbing in the
Speaker 1: dark kind of thing.
Speaker 3: And so how often do you have this have to
Speaker 3: have these ultrasounds for them to give you this window
Speaker 3: or is it just one, and then from there they
Speaker 3: can gauge for the next couple of months.
Speaker 1: So you would usually start the appointments at the start
Speaker 1: of yours. So I think most people will We'll go
Speaker 1: and have an appointment at the start of their period
Speaker 1: so they know when the actual menstruation has started, and
Speaker 1: then you can kind of start tracking how many days
Speaker 1: it's been since your period. I did three different scans
Speaker 1: before they figured out I was close enough to take
Speaker 1: the injection. I'm not sure. I haven't spoken to that
Speaker 1: many people who have done it otherwise, but I think
Speaker 1: what happens, at least with me, pricing wise, you pay
Speaker 1: for a cycle and you get as many scans as
Speaker 1: you need in that cycle, so you're not paying each scan.
Speaker 1: So if you need six scans, that's fine, if you
Speaker 1: need two, that's fine. It's not like the more scans
Speaker 1: you need, the more you pay. It's like you pay
Speaker 1: for the population reduction cycle, and that covers all the scans,
Speaker 1: all the medication.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I see, okay, cool, And then it was the
Speaker 3: next question was how long between miscarriage and pregnancy? Like
Speaker 3: I think you kind of kind of touched on it
Speaker 3: in that answer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so three cycles read yeah. But interestingly, following on
Speaker 1: with the ovulation induction question, we didn't fall pregnant that cycle,
Speaker 1: so we did the injections. Some people have period symptoms
Speaker 1: after that. I kind of just had cramps. You do
Speaker 1: have to be a bit gentle with yourself. Some people
Speaker 1: get quite bloated. And then we followed exactly the days
Speaker 1: they called it have relations, which is so gross. But
Speaker 1: that didn't work that cycle, and then we fell pregnant naturally,
Speaker 1: So we didn't do another ovulation induction cycle the next
Speaker 1: month because my cycles were getting so regular by then
Speaker 1: that we'd kind of figured out when it vaguely would be.
Speaker 1: And then we were also going to be overseas, so
Speaker 1: they were like, we can't scan you when you're overseas,
Speaker 1: so we might as well just take a break. You
Speaker 1: take the pea sticks and pee on them in this
Speaker 1: vague window, and then you'll know same thing. They'll be like,
Speaker 1: it'll say, within forty eight hours, you lovula, and then
Speaker 1: you do it on these days and then that cycle,
Speaker 1: naturally we felt pregnant.
Speaker 3: Kind of leads into the next question because the next
Speaker 3: question was did you consider IVF or conceiving naturally, which
Speaker 3: you end up ended up actually conceiving naturally, not needing
Speaker 3: povulation induction or even aUI.
Speaker 1: Yes, so we had definitely considered the possibility that we
Speaker 1: would need to do IVF. IUI I think is the step.
Speaker 1: It's intra uterine insertion. I think it is in between
Speaker 1: population induction and IVF, And there's lots of different kind
Speaker 1: of steps you can take before. Sometimes if you have
Speaker 1: chronic end or something, you might get recommended to go
Speaker 1: straight to a certain stage based on your eggs and
Speaker 1: all the tests. All I would say is information is key,
Speaker 1: like the more you have to work with, the less
Speaker 1: stabbing in the dark and not time wasting. But there
Speaker 1: are certain things that medically they could say are not likely,
Speaker 1: so you know, if you really want, if you really
Speaker 1: feel like you're running out of time. For us, we
Speaker 1: considered both, and we're ready for the fact that it
Speaker 1: could be really difficult. We had no kind of identified
Speaker 1: fertility problems, and the miscarriage they take the placenta after
Speaker 1: words and tests to see if there was a reason,
Speaker 1: and there was no reason. It was just a mathematical
Speaker 1: it just happens. But we still thought it might be
Speaker 1: we might need to, and we definitely considered it, but
Speaker 1: we were very lucky that we didn't get that far
Speaker 1: into needing any more investigations. But we had definitely thought
Speaker 1: about it, and then we're very prepared for it given
Speaker 1: so many of our friends have done IVF. Mum did
Speaker 1: IVF for ten years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that. I think i UI is the
Speaker 3: first for same sex female couples, and then if some
Speaker 3: of them might go straight to IVF for something, but
Speaker 3: often they'll try aUI because cheaper.
Speaker 1: Yes than the four accessible Yeah, and I think it's
Speaker 1: less invasive on your yeah body, so you still do
Speaker 1: egg collections. I never had to do a collections or anything,
Speaker 1: but you will have the same trigger injection before an
Speaker 1: egg collection as well. But we never yet had to
Speaker 1: go that far, which we were very very surprised about.
Speaker 3: You, my friend, and then did you do anything differently
Speaker 3: this time?
Speaker 1: It's funny that so much there's so much science and
Speaker 1: it can be really easy to get bugged down in
Speaker 1: like the research of if you stand on your head
Speaker 1: or if you do this, and blah blah blah. But
Speaker 1: the anecdotally, the biggest advice we got is like if
Speaker 1: you overthink it, and you add too much cortisol and
Speaker 1: stress around the whole thing. You make it a lot
Speaker 1: harder for your body to just do its thing. So
Speaker 1: that's why so many people go on holiday and often
Speaker 1: when they stop trying so hard. I'm not saying go
Speaker 1: and stop trying hard, but just people have a lot
Speaker 1: of stories that it's the minute they kind of relax
Speaker 1: a little bit and go on to holidays. So we
Speaker 1: happen to have the wedding in Greece that you guys
Speaker 1: might remember, and because we couldn't do any population induction,
Speaker 1: we couldn't do any appointments. We were like, well, we
Speaker 1: know the timeframe, we'll try, but you know, this is
Speaker 1: not an intense trying cycle. This is a where overseas whatever.
Speaker 1: And it was the weekend and of the wedding that
Speaker 1: I happened to be ovulating, So we were really relaxed.
Speaker 1: We were just warm and on a holiday and having
Speaker 1: the best time. And I would say the main thing
Speaker 1: we tried differently was not being stressed and trying to
Speaker 1: fit it in around work and trips and doctor's appointments,
Speaker 1: and we weren't so focused on timing and everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't kind of surprise many people when I'm like,
Speaker 1: it was the weekend in Greece, They're like, well, here go,
Speaker 1: you're on holiday, you were relaxed, your cortisolt was low.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I member you coming back and being like I
Speaker 3: was zened out because at that time the miscarriage article
Speaker 3: had also come out over in Greece, and so you
Speaker 3: had this mass relief because everything kind of was that
Speaker 3: you didn't have to hide that anymore, you didn't have
Speaker 3: to hold onto it by yourself, and then you had
Speaker 3: that massive relief, then all this support.
Speaker 1: It was one of that same weekend.
Speaker 3: Yea, it was a perfect little like how it happened
Speaker 3: for you to be completely stressed.
Speaker 1: Free, and the timing is a coincidence, but it's also not.
Speaker 1: I think the way that we had so much closure
Speaker 1: around it, like the article AOL literally came out on
Speaker 1: I think Stella's a Saturday, and the wedding was that Saturday,
Speaker 1: and then I was ovulating that Saturday, like it's so weird.
Speaker 1: But the closure, the stress free, the separation from the
Speaker 1: daily grind eating like a Mediterranean diet, even things like that.
Speaker 1: You know, we were just in Greece, so I know
Speaker 1: and then like, yeah, literally fourteen days later.
Speaker 3: IDA believe I know this is I have to say,
Speaker 3: this is news to me. I didn't know that you
Speaker 3: conceived in grease?
Speaker 1: Did I tell you?
Speaker 3: I obviously don't ask.
Speaker 1: I've watched my video you Dick, obviously, my announcement video
Speaker 1: like spells it out you are.
Speaker 3: I feel like, what periods of it? And I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: well do you know why? I sometimes because I know
Speaker 3: it all already. Yeah, I watched the start. I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: I know this.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually, fourteen days after.
Speaker 3: Then I realized I don't sometimes. And I also obviously
Speaker 3: didn't ask for very good questions because for the whole
Speaker 3: time I've known, I didn't even know when your body conceived.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so because we were tracking, Like if you're not tracking,
Speaker 1: it's sometimes hard. You know, people don't really know working backwards.
Speaker 1: I've always been like, when people like you were conceived
Speaker 1: that and I'm like, how do you know what was
Speaker 1: the exact night? But you do because you work out
Speaker 1: when you're counting, you know when you ovulate it, so
Speaker 1: it had to be in the ovulation period, and then
Speaker 1: you know when you get the positive pregnancy test. How
Speaker 1: many days post ovulation. So one of the terms that
Speaker 1: you get very quickly initiated into is like a number DPO,
Speaker 1: which is day's post ovulation. And like some people get
Speaker 1: a positive pregnancy test as early as like seven or eight,
Speaker 1: which is very rare, very very rare. And then also
Speaker 1: the pregnancy tests, some of them are like six days
Speaker 1: before you're missed, like very very early ones, so you
Speaker 1: kind of can get you know, really it's like twelve
Speaker 1: to fourteen days, but if the early test kind of
Speaker 1: can get tiny tiny levels of the hormone in your body.
Speaker 1: So I took all the early tests and they were
Speaker 1: obviously all negative because it was too early, so I'd
Speaker 1: just written it off. And then on the fourteenth day,
Speaker 1: I was like, well, you know it's not this wasn't
Speaker 1: our time, blah blah blah, and then it was positive
Speaker 1: and I was like, I had like ten negative.
Speaker 3: Tests because but fourteen days postovulation would be when you
Speaker 3: would probably have the missed period. No, because I actually
Speaker 3: normally is in the middle of late day fourteen to whatever.
Speaker 3: So people that's testing eight days obviously obviously actively trying,
Speaker 3: so you would be testing, yeah, but you would also
Speaker 3: have missed the period as your first sign if you
Speaker 3: didn't take that fourteen day test, no.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yea, yeah, so you're either counting from yeah,
Speaker 1: day's post expected period or day's postopulation. And also because
Speaker 1: some people's ovulation is closer to their period and some
Speaker 1: people it's further away, so it all depends on your body,
Speaker 1: but generally they will align ish around fourteen days. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, and then speaking of now you're pregnant and now
Speaker 3: going through the chronological life cycle of this experience, did
Speaker 3: you hear phil any anxiety about being pregnant after just
Speaker 3: having lost your first.
Speaker 1: One so much? I quickly acknowledged this on Instagram yesterday
Speaker 1: and had the most responses. I think to that slide,
Speaker 1: the idea that anyone who has experienced a pregnancy loss
Speaker 1: or any hiccups along the way will resonate with the
Speaker 1: fact that a really unfortunate but totally natural consequence of
Speaker 1: a bad experience or a tough experience that didn't go
Speaker 1: how you planned, is that you are so much more
Speaker 1: hesitant to celebrate. And that makes sense because you are
Speaker 1: much more anxious. You do have PTSD, but just kind
Speaker 1: of you remember the weeks when things happened and the
Speaker 1: weeks when things should have happened by and it definitely changes.
Speaker 1: I think people who just have a very smooth first
Speaker 1: pregnancy without knowing that they body could not carry to
Speaker 1: a certain time, not that they don't have anxiety. Of course,
Speaker 1: anyone pregnant has anxiety about making it to the twelve
Speaker 1: weeks and all that kind of thing that I think
Speaker 1: it's not imprinted in your brain so much so you
Speaker 1: just relax a little bit more, I think into each week,
Speaker 1: whereas with a miscarriage, you've got that particular week that
Speaker 1: had happened last time. That's a big line, and then
Speaker 1: looking out for certain symptoms, that's a huge line. I
Speaker 1: think it's just more paranoid. And that meant that I
Speaker 1: did a lot of things differently. I told obviously, announced
Speaker 1: it at eighteen weeks, like a lot later than I expected.
Speaker 1: Announced it to friends and family a lot later, except
Speaker 1: friends who had known about the miscarriage. I told them
Speaker 1: earlier because I thought I would need the support of you,
Speaker 1: and again we celebrated internally a lot later. I just
Speaker 1: totally ignored it for the first eight to ten weeks.
Speaker 1: I just was like, I can't deal with how stressful
Speaker 1: it would be to attach to this idea. So even
Speaker 1: the fact that I took not many photos, I didn't
Speaker 1: record anyone's reactions. I recorded yours. Last time, I recorded
Speaker 1: a few people's, but in our announcement videos, I didn't
Speaker 1: record anyone. And not that that's a marker, A lot
Speaker 1: of people don't record that, but in my world, I
Speaker 1: record everything. Yeah, like that's even just for me to
Speaker 1: keep the videos. I didn't want them in case because
Speaker 1: I had to delete a whole folder last time and
Speaker 1: it was really tough. So I treated every stage of
Speaker 1: those early weeks as it'll be a bonus if I
Speaker 1: do stay pregnant. But I'm not going to assume I'll
Speaker 1: just ignore. And I think it's a shame because it
Speaker 1: takes a bit of the joy out of it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I didn't not like this is at
Speaker 3: all about me, but as someone to support a friend
Speaker 3: in pregnancy and not know how to respond, really all
Speaker 3: it was actually easier than I thought because all I
Speaker 3: did was mirror the excitement that you brought to it,
Speaker 3: Like you were like, oh my god, we're pregnant, and
Speaker 3: in that way, I just knew it was an exciting time. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And I just straight up. So it's like, are you
Speaker 3: nervous and you said yes, And I agree fully that
Speaker 3: it was the eight to ten week period yeah, when
Speaker 3: you were really like even I was like, this is
Speaker 3: all good because you were like, this is all good
Speaker 3: because I think you had a really great relationship with
Speaker 3: your doctors, Yeah, who had known the first time, and
Speaker 3: they were a lot more hopeful, and that for you
Speaker 3: was like all you needed. Yeah, and there were some
Speaker 3: other markers. I think for you guys, I think it
Speaker 3: was around the eight weeks, which is only two weeks
Speaker 3: after you kind of told me that.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, this is yeah, so it's good.
Speaker 1: The worst time for us in particular, was between finding
Speaker 1: that out, getting a positive test, and then you wait
Speaker 1: for your first viability scan, which is the one where
Speaker 1: it's really your first ultrasound after that confirms that the
Speaker 1: pregnancy test is true, and you usually have to wait,
Speaker 1: like they'll make you wait until they think that you
Speaker 1: will have a heartbeat by then. Still sometimes you don't,
Speaker 1: but a lot of people do. Around I think it
Speaker 1: was like six or seven weeks, and for us that
Speaker 1: was when last time we didn't and then every subsequent
Speaker 1: scan we didn't have one and they knew very quickly
Speaker 1: that like it never was going to have heartbeat. So
Speaker 1: that for me was the worst period, was waiting for
Speaker 1: that first one when they're like, you could have a heartbeat,
Speaker 1: you could not. If you don't, it's still not the end.
Speaker 1: But it was awful. And I honestly pretended I wasn't pregnant.
Speaker 1: Like I got excited. I told Nick, we got excited.
Speaker 1: Then we hid the test and we didn't say anything,
Speaker 1: and then we just waited till the scan, and I
Speaker 1: nearly threw up in it. Like I just was like,
Speaker 1: and our doctor was amazing. She knew, so she said.
Speaker 1: She didn't even say high. She's just like, light out,
Speaker 1: let's do it. She knew that we were just waiting, yeah,
Speaker 1: and we all it was Nick's birthday. It was her
Speaker 1: birthday on the same day, the doctor and we all
Speaker 1: just cried. We were just like that and it was
Speaker 1: super strong, and it was early as well. They were like,
Speaker 1: you might not have one still, and then it was
Speaker 1: really really strong. So we were just like.
Speaker 3: Because the other thing is the other thing is that
Speaker 3: this time around, you found out a lot earlier than
Speaker 3: you found out the previous time, because last time I
Speaker 3: think you was. You were probably around four weeks last time.
Speaker 1: I didn't know when I had it ovulated, so it
Speaker 1: just was like a random test.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember you saying you had a five week scan,
Speaker 3: and again this is from you not really having gone
Speaker 3: through this journey before understanding the viability scan. Yeah, it
Speaker 3: you were just like you thought it was a dating scan.
Speaker 3: You were like going for my dating scan and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is what it is as well. It's like
Speaker 1: figuring out how many weeks you generally are we.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that was Yeah, it was what I feel
Speaker 3: like you found out a lot later last time, so
Speaker 3: the period between finding out and waiting for the viability
Speaker 3: scan was shorter, whereas this time it.
Speaker 1: Was like the whole time and it had no expectations
Speaker 1: last time either.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So what's really weird is that your your pregnancy is
Speaker 1: dated from the date of your last period. So even
Speaker 1: though by the time you're fourteen days past ovulation, it's
Speaker 1: four weeks, like you're actually one day pregnant, but they
Speaker 1: actually counted as four weeks pregnant, which is I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's so weird, But then they work out when your
Speaker 1: due date is based on that, and like because everyone
Speaker 1: cycles a different length. I still doesn't make sense to me.
Speaker 1: But anyway, but how are you feeling now about it?
Speaker 1: So excited? Yes, I just when we got to the
Speaker 1: you know that twelve to thirteen week scan, which is
Speaker 1: when you do the NIP test, which is all the
Speaker 1: genetic markers, do you find out the gender that's generally
Speaker 1: considered like you've made it past the safe zone. And
Speaker 1: that's when a lot of people announce. That was a huge,
Speaker 1: huge relief, but I think we were still a bit
Speaker 1: colored by last time, and so we told more family
Speaker 1: and some very close friends, but then we still just
Speaker 1: were like not ready to announce it to the world,
Speaker 1: So we waited another Like one of the main questions
Speaker 1: that people asked were how many weeks along that we are,
Speaker 1: And we're actually eighteen weeks, which is really halfway. I know,
Speaker 1: but I just needed to wait till the next scan,
Speaker 1: which was eighteen week scan, and that was very very healthy,
Speaker 1: not surprisingly in the next scan. So the first scan
Speaker 1: that we had where we had the heartbeat, the baby
Speaker 1: was just a bean and a heart a boon, and
Speaker 1: that was with out fertility specialist. And then the next
Speaker 1: appointment was our first one with our actual obstric we'd
Speaker 1: chosen an obstetrician. In between those two scans is when
Speaker 1: you kind of pick your hospital and find your doctor.
Speaker 1: And we have an amazing, amazing Obea. I love her
Speaker 1: so much. She says the word ya, and her scrubs
Speaker 1: are like bright pink. So I was like, you, we're
Speaker 1: meant to be. And she said, look this ultrasound. You'll
Speaker 1: hear the heartbeat again. You might like it might not
Speaker 1: move right like they might wriggle. You'll see some limbs
Speaker 1: and ahead it'll be more than a bean, but probably
Speaker 1: won't move. Our baby jumped the entire time, like jumped,
Speaker 1: like you'll see. I put the part of the ultrasound up.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh my god, this is a Davidson, like
Speaker 1: this is a busy Davidson. And then all the scancers
Speaker 1: and yes, that.
Speaker 3: Is my son. Yeah literally, and then eighteen weeks so you're.
Speaker 1: Due first week of April.
Speaker 3: I know it's going to be in April April four.
Speaker 1: It's also going to be the third fire sign in
Speaker 1: this family. And another area areas of fire sign Areas
Speaker 1: is a fire sign. I'm an areas of nix Leo,
Speaker 1: which is one of my huh, Aquarius, don't you know
Speaker 1: what you are? No idea? What get out of this
Speaker 1: right now?
Speaker 3: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: Aquarius is obviously a water sign. Aqua anyway, cricket, it's
Speaker 1: not answer questions, it's Sarah questions.
Speaker 3: Okay, so what are your first symptoms?
Speaker 1: So interestingly, my symptoms last time and this time were
Speaker 1: the same, really intense nausea. Do you know?
Speaker 3: Okay, I was sick. You are amazing though, because you
Speaker 3: were so nauseous. Yeah, you just turn up to these
Speaker 3: things like MC just into Allen and it was just
Speaker 3: into Alan.
Speaker 1: I think she's home and away. Wait, let me check
Speaker 1: she's someone she's not just into. That's amazing.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Anyway, you like a book launched last
Speaker 3: time on.
Speaker 1: Alan is an Australian politician. I can't. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: That's terrible. I don't know why that's anyway. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: were pregnant.
Speaker 3: Like pretty much everything in the last you know, a
Speaker 3: few months you've been bren but you managed nausea very
Speaker 3: like you. I can attest to you were very, very nauseous.
Speaker 3: But I feel like you're very resilient because you kind
Speaker 3: of just keep it rocking up.
Speaker 1: I was pretty sick. Yeah, So someone actually asked me,
Speaker 1: I think you have heard before that I'm like, not
Speaker 1: just scared, but phobic a vomiting, Like, I hate it.
Speaker 1: I hate it. I'll actively avoid life experiences if I
Speaker 1: think there's a chance of vomiting. So how do I like,
Speaker 1: I actually can't, like, even if I have food poisoning,
Speaker 1: I'd rather hold it in and feel sick for longer.
Speaker 1: So pregnancy was actually quite anxiety inducing, thinking I could
Speaker 1: just be vomiting the whole time. But then I also
Speaker 1: thought it might break the phobia. Anyway, I didn't. I
Speaker 1: haven't been a thrower opera, which is amazing, but I
Speaker 1: have instead had you know, the level nine nausea that's
Speaker 1: like in your throat.
Speaker 3: Just before you throw it ueah.
Speaker 1: So that like all day for ten weeks. I oh,
Speaker 1: it was really rough.
Speaker 3: I remember when you were in tuging me out that question,
Speaker 3: would you rather be cold for the rest of your
Speaker 3: life or nauseous? And everyone was like cold, yeah, because
Speaker 3: nausea is the worst feeling.
Speaker 1: And I feel like sometimes when you throw up you
Speaker 1: get release, but it just sits sat in my throat
Speaker 1: for like ten weeks. And because you don't know how
Speaker 1: long your body's going to have it. There's no end time.
Speaker 1: So my way of describing it to Nick was, imagine
Speaker 1: you have food poisoning, right, you know, it's awful and
Speaker 1: you're on the floor, but you're like, in forty eight
Speaker 1: hours max, it'll be out of my body having that,
Speaker 1: but being like in ten to twelve weeks it'll be gone.
Speaker 1: Maybe what And.
Speaker 3: The things that people around you can't really empathize or
Speaker 3: sympathize unless they're currently nauseous and remember what it feels like, yeah,
Speaker 3: because I don't think many just remember what nause it
Speaker 3: feels like and how in abstract Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also you don't tell them you're pregnant yet, so
Speaker 1: no one knows that you're going through this. So one
Speaker 1: of the other questions was someone asking why I was
Speaker 1: only eating crackers and.
Speaker 3: Later and Sarah's answering her running her own questions because
Speaker 3: I organize she's not even looking at the questions right now.
Speaker 3: She's like, there is a future question.
Speaker 1: This is my lawyer brain. The future question about why
Speaker 1: I could only eat crackers and brand and pizza was
Speaker 1: I felt so sick that and it's very common that
Speaker 1: you the first thing you feel like eating is a
Speaker 1: bland carp like crackers that have no flavor, and it's
Speaker 1: like hungover diet, like you just want plane. Oh the
Speaker 1: idea of like chicken on it ooh nah, You couldn't
Speaker 1: eat a salad or a green vegetable like and I mean,
Speaker 1: if I thought about it, I would want to throw up.
Speaker 1: Like you physically can't swallow any other food except the
Speaker 1: food that you know you can get down, which was
Speaker 1: usually something really bland like plain rise toast, to the
Speaker 1: point where Nick was so worried that the baby was
Speaker 1: getting no nutrients that he asked the ob. He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm actually really worried she's not eaten, Like I'm a
Speaker 1: big salad eater and veggieater. He's like, she can't eat protein,
Speaker 1: she can't eat anything. And the way that the ob
Speaker 1: described it to kind of make us worry less was
Speaker 1: babies for the ages have survived. It's your body's natural
Speaker 1: response to like explosive growth. The first trimester, you grow
Speaker 1: all the organs like they're done by the second semester.
Speaker 1: A semester trimester, it's just growing bigger. But in that
Speaker 1: stage of growing a heart and a liver, and a kidney.
Speaker 1: What after a marathon do you need you need glucose,
Speaker 1: You just need quick energy and then like later you
Speaker 1: replenish your vegetables and nutrients and stuff. But they're like,
Speaker 1: you need quick, easy energy, and that's like white plaining carbs.
Speaker 1: And you've eaten vegetables your whole life, and you'll eat
Speaker 1: them again in the other trimesters. You'll be fine as
Speaker 1: long as you're taking a prenatle it's very natural and
Speaker 1: some women can't even keep food down at all, so
Speaker 1: you'll be okay. Just like if you're craving it, there's
Speaker 1: a reason. So I literally I only started eating vegetables
Speaker 1: again like two weeks ago.
Speaker 3: It's actually crazy how the body can figure itself out.
Speaker 1: And she's like babies are smart what they need.
Speaker 3: Because often when I'm nauseous, no appetite, whereas your nauseous
Speaker 3: and you're like, I still would like a plain cup
Speaker 3: hydrant because the body knows that it's doing its thing.
Speaker 1: Crazy amazing, Or it'd be like I need vanilla ice
Speaker 1: cream because it's inoffensive and you'll get sugar and energy,
Speaker 1: but it won't make you throw up.
Speaker 3: So weird, it's just so awesome though.
Speaker 1: And now the nausea has calm down a lot. But
Speaker 1: now I'm like chronic fatigue level tired like I thought
Speaker 1: I knew being tired generally, but it's just like a
Speaker 1: chemical tiredness.
Speaker 3: Let's big for you because you're you're a non That's
Speaker 3: what I've decided. You're resilient but also a non complainer,
Speaker 3: which makes you feel very resilient.
Speaker 1: Nick would probably say otherwise.
Speaker 3: No, I really don't think you're actually a real non
Speaker 3: complaint of really scheme of baby baby whoa, oh no,
Speaker 3: okay went through.
Speaker 1: We're a thupple.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, we did.
Speaker 1: You are actually and he's the one bearing the little one.
Speaker 3: I am breast giving, breastfeeding, she's with child.
Speaker 1: The other symptom is my boobs grew before my tummy,
Speaker 1: you guys know, myty titty committee Like Ant has a
Speaker 1: screenshot of me showing her on the phone. I was like,
Speaker 1: look at my fucking boobs, like, yeah, they are so
Speaker 1: great right now.
Speaker 3: Sarah was like, look out, I'm perscuped. I'm sure I'm
Speaker 3: sucking it and you can't tell her. I was like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: you're your arios are coming out of your habra one of.
Speaker 1: My really good friends was like a boob job. I
Speaker 1: was like, I think that different and in one particular outfit,
Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, I actually thought you had surgery.
Speaker 3: They were in that photo. You could you could share
Speaker 3: it will Maybe it was a pink. It was either
Speaker 3: the pinker. Yeah, it's big, m m. You are gonna
Speaker 3: have big, big nipples. But also for a baby.
Speaker 1: I also feel like one of the coolest things about
Speaker 1: the body that I've learned is that your nipples start
Speaker 1: to go dark and bigger, so that the baby, when
Speaker 1: it can't see properly because their eyes don't develop straight
Speaker 1: away when they're born, can find it. It's like a
Speaker 1: little homing system, so cute and clever. Anyway, next things,
Speaker 1: every day the house, I see that literally but not
Speaker 1: even in a sexy way. He's just like, I found it.
Speaker 1: My god, you're an idiot.
Speaker 3: Speaking of being nauseous in that whole time. And I
Speaker 3: did mention that you kind of kept up with appearance.
Speaker 3: Is how did you do that?
Speaker 1: I think with a lot of conversations with other women
Speaker 1: about this, I think you honestly just get on with
Speaker 1: it because you have no choice, Like you're not going
Speaker 1: to tell people to get leeway given to you.
Speaker 3: Some people no, I agree, you don't, Yes, but you
Speaker 3: still you made more appearances you didn't say no.
Speaker 1: Any average person. Yeah, Honestly, a lot of them I
Speaker 1: had already locked in before we knew we were pregnant,
Speaker 1: or before I knew I'd be that nauseous. So I
Speaker 1: just kept those because they were big commitments that would
Speaker 1: be really really hard for people to replace. Also, just
Speaker 1: into odent like I would. I wanted to have that experience,
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think, yeah, firstly, you just kind of
Speaker 1: do what you have to do because it's just one
Speaker 1: of your life where you you know it's a bit
Speaker 1: of a struggle, but you just deal with it. You're
Speaker 1: not ready to tell people, so you can't really get
Speaker 1: create space for that feeling. A couple of times I
Speaker 1: did have anti nausea wafers, which I was given on Danzetron.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people have those, and I've
Speaker 1: hardly taken them because I just preferred if I wasn't
Speaker 1: people facing and there wasn't a risk ID voment on
Speaker 1: a world leader, then I didn't take them. But in
Speaker 1: situations where I really needed to pull through, a couple
Speaker 1: of times I did take those and they were really helpful.
Speaker 1: But also there's something about like if you're lying down
Speaker 1: when you feel sick and just thinking about it, it's worse.
Speaker 1: Whereas if you get dressed, you have a shower, put
Speaker 1: your makeup on, and you go to the event, it's
Speaker 1: you're so distracted. It almost helped to be busy in
Speaker 1: that time because you're just it's just a waiting game.
Speaker 1: You're just passing time to get to the safe zone.
Speaker 1: So it almost helped me to be busier because when
Speaker 1: I wasn't I just sit at home, think about feeling
Speaker 1: sick and think about what week I was up to.
Speaker 1: So it felt really slow in the weeks I was
Speaker 1: doing that much. And I'm sure it's different if you're
Speaker 1: like there were days some people have, you know, sent
Speaker 1: in feedback that they were literally bedridden. There were days
Speaker 1: I was bedridden and I had to cancel a lot
Speaker 1: of things because I was like, I literally cannot get up.
Speaker 1: But there were other days where it helped me to
Speaker 1: get up. So I think I'm also very fortunate that
Speaker 1: our job, I can film at home. A lot of
Speaker 1: times recording we do it at home, or there's leeway
Speaker 1: it's not live, whereas friends of mine lawyers in court like,
Speaker 1: you've got no choice, you have to run out and
Speaker 1: vomit and then come back and present. So I was
Speaker 1: lucky that we had a life that could be structured
Speaker 1: a bit around really bad days. But I also, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I feel like I didn't want to let
Speaker 1: go of that identity, my non pregnant identity too early either,
Speaker 1: so I wanted to keep all those commitments. And yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a hilarious amount of behind the scenes photos though
Speaker 1: from all of those events where I'm just like dead
Speaker 1: on the floor for the whole rest of the day
Speaker 1: with a pizza heart in my mouth, half out, like
Speaker 1: with all the photos I've sent you, like after glamorous
Speaker 1: looking at events. So I'm just like, kao, did.
Speaker 3: That reflect a lot at home with you and Nick?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 3: Like were you very low energy with then? Did that
Speaker 3: affect your relationship with me?
Speaker 1: No, that's another question? Actually, how have you guys? Sorry?
Speaker 3: Question a goodness?
Speaker 1: He has been amazing And one of the things I
Speaker 1: will say on the flip side of an earlier pregnancy
Speaker 1: loss changing your celebration, it also changes your perspective the
Speaker 1: entire way through I feel like your symptoms are all
Speaker 1: so much easier to tolerate when you're like this is
Speaker 1: for a healthy child, Like I will not complain about
Speaker 1: nausea because I'm just so glad I'm pregnant, Like it
Speaker 1: changes even like body image. I think a lot of
Speaker 1: women freak out the first time they start to get
Speaker 1: a belly or they put on a little bit of weight.
Speaker 1: And as someone who trains regularly, I haven't been able
Speaker 1: to train at all. Even gentle walks kind of puffed
Speaker 1: me out. I thought I would find that really hard,
Speaker 1: but I did last time, or is this time. I'm like,
Speaker 1: if this is what it takes for me to be
Speaker 1: a vessel for a child, that is what it takes
Speaker 1: for me to be a vessel. Like it put everything
Speaker 1: in perspective, and I think same for Nick, Like We've
Speaker 1: had times that have been really hard where I've been
Speaker 1: totally useless, and might I add in the middle of
Speaker 1: a renovation, so my usefulness went dramatically down.
Speaker 3: You were good, though, you even wore in ninety fives
Speaker 3: and stuff to try to contribute.
Speaker 1: I did keep contributing to the extent that was safe.
Speaker 1: Like I stopped any painting with like heavy fumes. I
Speaker 1: did that, you did, you stepped up a lot.
Speaker 3: I loved it.
Speaker 1: Anything that had like we'd had pest control and stuff.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be in the house, but I did. I
Speaker 1: was extremely handy at the start, and then further on
Speaker 1: it was hard that Nick was doing everything and I
Speaker 1: couldn't even be like his assistant. And I think the
Speaker 1: question was from someone who had said that they feel
Speaker 1: really guilty that their partner's like shouldering all the weight.
Speaker 1: I feel like the way that you flip that is
Speaker 1: they also don't have to physically change anything in their
Speaker 1: life while you bear this child, like you're going through
Speaker 1: all the symptoms, you're feeling shitty. The reason you're exhausted
Speaker 1: is not because you've gone out partying. It's because you're
Speaker 1: growing a child's limbs and digits, and like they can't
Speaker 1: physically contribute to that. So it's just a time where
Speaker 1: I am all for equality. I'm a hardcore feminist, but
Speaker 1: I also acknowledge there are certain times where they can't
Speaker 1: equally contribute and you can't equally contribute. So your role
Speaker 1: becomes grow this child, and their role has to be
Speaker 1: do everything you can't do because they can't help with
Speaker 1: the bearing, so you can't help with the other stuff.
Speaker 1: And that's just a partnership, right.
Speaker 3: But I think that's what makes it made it successful
Speaker 3: successful for you, is that Nick is really good at
Speaker 3: understanding his role in this. Yeah, because some I think
Speaker 3: in some partnerships it's very hard. And I don't know
Speaker 3: what it's like to be the male in a heterosexual
Speaker 3: relationship where the wife is pregnant, Like that's a very
Speaker 3: specific situation to me, and that neither of us, you
Speaker 3: and I would never experience. And I don't know if
Speaker 3: you could ever kind of like really tell the man
Speaker 3: how hard it is to bear a child. So you
Speaker 3: kind of have to trust that they under stage and
Speaker 3: Nick gets it, like it's really good at being like,
Speaker 3: she's not being a complainer. This is like the macro
Speaker 3: thing is that we're making off ye, she's growing up?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, right now.
Speaker 3: And I don't have to do anything for that for.
Speaker 1: That, yeah, whatsoever. I think when I wasn't showing at all,
Speaker 1: like very early when I had, you often have the
Speaker 1: worst symptoms when you're showing the least, which is a
Speaker 1: bit confusing. So he would forget and have days where
Speaker 1: he's like I'm just at the house from like eight
Speaker 1: in the morning until ten at night, and like you've
Speaker 1: been napping all day and like I'm tired, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're tired. Yeah, and then he go, okay, okay, So yeah,
Speaker 1: like and it is hard when you're not visually reminded,
Speaker 1: but I think you do have a lot of conversations
Speaker 1: about how your contributions to certain things will be different
Speaker 1: for a while and you can work that out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then but yeah, he's been amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he has. He actually has been, and I think
Speaker 3: the house has been. Yeah. Other than Davidson, the David Davidson,
Speaker 3: what other names can you think of that go with Davidson, Davidson, Davidson.
Speaker 1: Yay, Davidson. We have chosen our name already. We had
Speaker 1: actually chosen names for a girl or a boy like
Speaker 1: years ago, and their family names. So that is probably
Speaker 1: the one thing we will keep secret until until the
Speaker 1: baby arrives, until the little man arrives, But we have names.
Speaker 1: Our original name, which was just fishits and giggles, was
Speaker 1: Max because we wanted his middle name to be Danger,
Speaker 1: so he could say Danger's my middle name, and then
Speaker 1: it'd be Max Danger Davidson.
Speaker 3: Okay, that wasn't that was you were serious about it?
Speaker 1: I was, definitely, and then I realized, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't do that. That's child abuse.
Speaker 3: When I asked, I was like, oh, so he's gonna
Speaker 3: be and You're like no, no, no, And I was like,
Speaker 3: what do you mean. No, you're convinced.
Speaker 1: Because Max is cute and then Max Danger is like
Speaker 1: the maximum danger and then he could say dangers my
Speaker 1: middle name. And then I was like, but if he's
Speaker 1: not a cool kid, it's not Yeah, that only suits
Speaker 1: like a dangerous kid.
Speaker 3: But also if he's not a dangerous kid, he would
Speaker 3: be bully.
Speaker 1: I know. So we're not doing Max Danger. That's all
Speaker 1: I can say. And not yay either, not yeay Yavidson.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you would love it.
Speaker 1: And it also won't be Nick what else goes with
Speaker 1: Nick Junior Jr.
Speaker 3: And it also won't be David's sons.
Speaker 1: David also won't be Chandler baby Girl Channel r P.
Speaker 1: But that's cute, David Davidson. It won't be David squared Son.
Speaker 3: David Dave, Dave Daniel.
Speaker 1: No, it won't start with d even though I love
Speaker 1: a literation Davidson. So that's what we call it, but
Speaker 1: the baby because we're like, it's baby Davidson, it's Davidson
Speaker 1: among ourselves.
Speaker 3: Baby, would you call it baby?
Speaker 1: I would never call it baby?
Speaker 3: What about it?
Speaker 1: Also, we're also pretty traditional, so it won't be like
Speaker 1: a Nathaniel Atlas max Maximilian's not too you know, but
Speaker 1: it won't be like I don't know, like Grizzly hyphen
Speaker 1: bear or like or like astrology or something stormy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it won't be that. It'll be quite a traditional name
Speaker 1: because it's a family name, so it's like a bit mon.
Speaker 3: Guys, I'm asking questions as if I don't know.
Speaker 1: Baby boy Angelina Angelina.
Speaker 3: Preference a natural or C section?
Speaker 1: Great question, I think because Mum, which I always forget,
Speaker 1: didn't go through pregnancy, so it can't help me. I
Speaker 1: have no preconceptions like many people do from their mothers
Speaker 1: about certain styles of birth, about breastfeeding or not. Like
Speaker 1: I'm not. I haven't been shaped by someone else's pregnancy experience,
Speaker 1: so I literally it is in the hands of my
Speaker 1: Hobie and what she thinks based on the position of
Speaker 1: the baby and my body and all of those things.
Speaker 1: Like I would love to try for a natural birth
Speaker 1: as a first point of call, and I would love
Speaker 1: to try for no epadule and all that stuff.
Speaker 3: Before I.
Speaker 1: Do. You know what I mean though, Like I think
Speaker 1: I'll just start with natural as a baseline. But I'm
Speaker 1: not so attached like some people are to a particular
Speaker 1: birth plan. And I also haven't part of the miscarriage
Speaker 1: was I didn't even think that far ahead. I was
Speaker 1: just like next scan, next scan, next scan. So we
Speaker 1: have had the amazing Sophie from Australian Birth Stories on
Speaker 1: the podcast, and I have her book and I'm suddenly
Speaker 1: devouring the chapters that are a little bit further along
Speaker 1: than the ones that I started reading. I definitely think
Speaker 1: it's important to go and educated about the option rather
Speaker 1: than feeling disempowered and having things kind of recommended to
Speaker 1: you while you're delirious. I will have a plan, but
Speaker 1: I'm not like devastated if you know it changes halfway through,
Speaker 1: as I suspect it does most of the time.
Speaker 3: Do you think Nick will be in the delivery room? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I reckon, you'll pass out.
Speaker 1: He will definitely pass out. I actually feel like I
Speaker 1: feel sad for I feel not sad. I mean, obviously
Speaker 1: we are doing all the work. But I feel sad
Speaker 1: for the men because they're totally lucid and they're watching
Speaker 1: their partner like, look like she's dying but having no
Speaker 1: control over the equation. And then it's like masks and
Speaker 1: messy alerts and she's again. But also they they're so
Speaker 1: helpless in that moment, but they're completely together. So it's
Speaker 1: like imagine watching just your partner who you love bleeding
Speaker 1: and you can't help them, like whereas we're kind of
Speaker 1: like either drugged up or like so out of our
Speaker 1: brains in pain, like you know, you.
Speaker 3: Might not be to manifest.
Speaker 1: I'm definitely petrified about tild birth. Yeah, a very small frame.
Speaker 3: So you speak to my mom, but mom's tiny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like also your mom's giving birth, yes, so
Speaker 1: does acts she Mom's it.
Speaker 3: I was like, Mom, you would have more and more.
Speaker 3: I love it. I love it. I'm good at it.
Speaker 1: The other day she's like, I want seven. I'm like, babe,
Speaker 1: calm down.
Speaker 3: Mom, Like mama had lasted forty two. Yeah, it's tiny.
Speaker 3: She is four kids. I'm all huge. I came out
Speaker 3: like almost four kilos and like.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's old cheek by the way, what
Speaker 1: does that mean your four kilos well in your little cheek.
Speaker 3: I was like, it's still here.
Speaker 1: I feel like your body also figures it out, like
Speaker 1: even if you're a small frame, like your hips move already.
Speaker 1: My hips are moved. Like it's crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we've got to manifest a nice experience. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it will have to be a long wave of a
Speaker 3: lot of pain.
Speaker 1: No, And I also feel like the biggest thing I've
Speaker 1: learned from Australian birth stories is that the more women
Speaker 1: educated about their options before they go in, they don't
Speaker 1: feel traumatized by anything because they're aware of what could come,
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. So I'll definitely be doing some
Speaker 1: research and listening to all the episodes. I've actually already
Speaker 1: listened to most of them, but more of them nice
Speaker 1: shout out to Sophie will.
Speaker 3: Love you, And they're kind of like a more yeah,
Speaker 3: less pregnancy but still pregnancy one. Do you have any
Speaker 3: pregnancy safe makeup? All lotions?
Speaker 1: It is. It is a whole new world, Like I
Speaker 1: honestly have just seen this divide in humans between non
Speaker 1: parents who don't know anything about anything about like tens, machines,
Speaker 1: all these terminologies, right, I've never known them before, and
Speaker 1: then everyone on the other side knows everything because you've
Speaker 1: had to like research it. So I'm in that like
Speaker 1: transitional phase where I'm like, oh my god, I can't
Speaker 1: use retinol, can't use all these ingredients, can't use liquorice root,
Speaker 1: some essential oil is about you, Like, there's so many
Speaker 1: things that you shouldn't do, and there's different scales of
Speaker 1: like from all the way from like smoking and alcohol
Speaker 1: to like this is risky, but it's not that risky
Speaker 1: and you can make up your own mind kind of thing.
Speaker 1: But one of the big things in skincare is retinal
Speaker 1: and vitamin as you take those out pretty immediately and
Speaker 1: otherwise I already had quite a natural skincare routine, So
Speaker 1: I will that's probably more of an Instagram question. I'll
Speaker 1: start to list a couple of things I've been using
Speaker 1: well and some of the resources that helped me figure
Speaker 1: out what ingredients.
Speaker 3: I hate to plug. But actually Bloom Effects is yes.
Speaker 3: So the only reason I say that is because Kim,
Speaker 3: the founder, she most of their stuff is pretty pregnant
Speaker 3: safe and obviously we always.
Speaker 1: Say, you know, speak yeah to speak to your own yeah.
Speaker 3: But all and almost all of the products that we
Speaker 3: make except for obviously the retinal and maybe if you
Speaker 3: maybe one.
Speaker 1: Other I can use the vitamin say, I've been using
Speaker 1: the vitom Yeah.
Speaker 3: So the vitamin C is built to be pregnancy safe,
Speaker 3: as is a nectar. Most of it is because Kim
Speaker 3: developed it while she was pregnant.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my every day a lot of people start
Speaker 1: rubbing their belly early first stretch marks. I use the
Speaker 1: body balm, yeah, every day.
Speaker 3: So she developed that for that reason.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but in thee.
Speaker 3: Yeah, genuinely though, have a look because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everything's safe even though it's still high performance.
Speaker 3: Because they've been they've been a life for four years
Speaker 3: and she's been pregnant twice in that time. That's true that,
Speaker 3: like the product development was a lot of it was
Speaker 3: testing on herself, but she's also got X men and dermatitis. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so it's actually like very efficacious as well as grape
Speaker 3: sensitive skin and like a lot of it is pregnant
Speaker 3: and safe.
Speaker 1: The vitamin particularly has been like amazing because you have
Speaker 1: to take out most of most of my cereums will
Speaker 1: written old cerrums, Yes, but vitamin C is an amazing
Speaker 1: kind of alternative yeah, I'll put leaps to that all.
Speaker 3: Actually, yeah, so I just thought of it.
Speaker 1: No, that was a good. That was a good.
Speaker 3: Only a few more questions. But in the pregnancy zone,
Speaker 3: it's anything hard about being a pregnant adoptee.
Speaker 1: Amazing question. So I thought I had had all my
Speaker 1: feelings about adoption in my life, Like I kind of
Speaker 1: thought I've made it to adulthood. I've kind of experienced
Speaker 1: every thought I could possibly have and every feeling and
Speaker 1: worked out how I feel about my birth mother and
Speaker 1: my foster mother and everything. And all of the girls
Speaker 1: in my group, who were all adopted together, have remarked
Speaker 1: on how the only time you access a new levels
Speaker 1: of emotion that you didn't know you had is when
Speaker 1: you have kids because you've never thought about the process before.
Speaker 1: And so Korea, the trip and meeting seeing my foster
Speaker 1: parents again. Suddenly, the period of being zero to five
Speaker 1: months before I got to Australia, which I've always dismissed,
Speaker 1: is like I have no memories, it doesn't even matter.
Speaker 1: Suddenly I was fascinated in it because I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to have a zero to five month old and
Speaker 1: I'm not going to know what to do with it, true,
Speaker 1: and it changes it definitely, like opened up a whole
Speaker 1: new world of I'm going to have my first blood relative,
Speaker 1: Like I don't have anyone around me whose gene pool
Speaker 1: is similar to mine. I've never seen anyone reflect my features.
Speaker 1: I've never shared DNA with someone i've met or been
Speaker 1: in the same room as. And I've also never really
Speaker 1: thought about my birth mother that much because I've had
Speaker 1: so much contact with my foster parents, and to me,
Speaker 1: they're more significant because they shaped my curiosity when I
Speaker 1: was younger. They fed me, they had me in their
Speaker 1: family photos, whereas my birth mother didn't. But I think
Speaker 1: when I give birth, I will reflect a lot more
Speaker 1: on like someone gave birth to me and then gave
Speaker 1: me away, not in a traumatic way, but just more
Speaker 1: in a reflective, like a compassionate way.
Speaker 3: I think, Oh, I actually didn't even think about the
Speaker 3: fact that you have your first blood lineage.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh that was my biggest realization, was like, I
Speaker 1: won't know what to do with myself when our little
Speaker 1: boy starts to show features that look like me, Like
Speaker 1: I've never had that before, and I didn't realize I
Speaker 1: had another before. I just never think about it.
Speaker 3: Either I just Elizabeth is just so your mom.
Speaker 1: She's just my mom and our I feel like her
Speaker 1: body language. I resemble her body language sometimes, so I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I do that. So I've never felt like lacking in reflection,
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: And also because Alex is also South Koreana, yeah, I
Speaker 3: feel it feels like you guys are related, but you're not,
Speaker 3: like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And one of our one of my good friends, Matt Purcell,
Speaker 1: who you guys will have heard on the podcast before,
Speaker 1: who's another South Korean adoptee. He has two daughters, and
Speaker 1: he said that that was a big shift for him,
Speaker 1: was having blood relatives who look like him. We've just
Speaker 1: never had that before.
Speaker 3: I speaking of adoption, we've got three last questions about adoption.
Speaker 3: Would you ever foster a child?
Speaker 1: Great question? So we have done a whole adoption episode
Speaker 1: on whether I would meet my birth mother or that,
Speaker 1: so I'll link that for that background. But this just
Speaker 1: came up after the career trip. I would love to
Speaker 1: foster a child, but I don't know that the process
Speaker 1: in Australia is the same. So I am are really
Speaker 1: good friends of ours, the real dads of Melbourne. They
Speaker 1: have foster children before. But I'm not actually sure what
Speaker 1: the rules are and how it like, I know this
Speaker 1: is it's so hard coming from someone who's who was
Speaker 1: fostered so beautifully. I don't we really really wanted to
Speaker 1: get a new baby Paul, for example, and we thought like,
Speaker 1: let's foster a Border Force puppy or a guy dog
Speaker 1: puppy or something to like get used to the puppy
Speaker 1: stage again. And Nick will not give it back. Now,
Speaker 1: He would never give He could not. He's just not
Speaker 1: capable of returning a puppy that came into his home
Speaker 1: that he loved, even knowing that it was for a
Speaker 1: foster period. So I just think we would we would
Speaker 1: adopt soon then foster. I think, even though that's such
Speaker 1: a like ar centric, selfish way to look at things,
Speaker 1: I genuinely think like we would attack. We have no
Speaker 1: capacity to attach, not.
Speaker 3: All our love temper like a yeah.
Speaker 1: Even though that's such a valuable contribution to a life,
Speaker 1: I would just immediately be my child and then I'd
Speaker 1: be like yeah, and I'd never be able to And
Speaker 1: I don't think you get much contact with them afterward.
Speaker 1: I just I just don't think I'm built for that
Speaker 1: and which makes me respect even more foster families. But
Speaker 1: I would adopt.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, speaking of the next question is is it?
Speaker 3: Do you know how hard or easy it is to
Speaker 3: adopt in Australia? And I think your mum's situation is
Speaker 3: very different time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but still pretty similar in terms of the hurdles.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, is it. It's very difficult in that,
Speaker 1: like part of it is, Australia is signed up to
Speaker 1: a lot of child protection treaties, which is amazing and
Speaker 1: I wouldn't expect any less. But it does mean that
Speaker 1: requirements are so stringent that you have to deep through
Speaker 1: with certain financial situations. You have to have a social
Speaker 1: worker come and live with you. It costs a lot
Speaker 1: to invest in the adoption process, so it's not super accessible.
Speaker 3: But if you're in a relationship with a social worker,
Speaker 3: good second.
Speaker 1: Yeah for you guys I count I mean, I know
Speaker 1: habes and hapes of people who have adopted children. It
Speaker 1: is possible. It's definitely harder. Then it costs a lot
Speaker 1: of money. It's it's just there are a lot of
Speaker 1: hurdles and it changes often. It also changes which countries
Speaker 1: you can adopt from. I'm not I can't speak to
Speaker 1: within country adoption, but into country adoption changes based on
Speaker 1: which countries are open to Australia, and I think Korea
Speaker 1: is open at the moment. It wasn't for a really
Speaker 1: long time, but it's a very long process, like it
Speaker 1: took four to five years for my brother, and it
Speaker 1: helped that I had already been adopted, even yours time
Speaker 1: was way longer. So I think it is quite a
Speaker 1: difficult process, but it's not impossible. And I have never
Speaker 1: I like, whenever anyone asked me, who is on their
Speaker 1: own journey towards adoption, about my experience, I have only
Speaker 1: the most amazing things to say about it, Like we
Speaker 1: have had the best life, the best life. We have
Speaker 1: never felt other. Really, I forget I'm Asian all the
Speaker 1: time too, Like everyone I look at the mirror, I'm like, what.
Speaker 3: I remember the one time I made that post, I
Speaker 3: was like my one Korean.
Speaker 1: I was so offended it wasn't me. I was like, Jane,
Speaker 1: what the fuck I forgot?
Speaker 3: I actually forgot you were Korean too.
Speaker 1: I forget all the time, and then I think it's
Speaker 1: beautiful that I can forget, Like what a privilege. And
Speaker 1: I think it's a really it's a really really beautiful process.
Speaker 1: And often if the if the option is no children
Speaker 1: or adoption and you were born to be a parent,
Speaker 1: which mum was like, you just create a family bond
Speaker 1: that might not be blood, but people hate their blood relatives.
Speaker 1: Like that's not the be on and end all of
Speaker 1: connection and love at all.
Speaker 3: So, speaking of your mum, the last is I tried
Speaker 3: to get her on but when and will your mum story.
Speaker 1: Oh, she's just so shy.
Speaker 3: So shy, guys, we've both tried so with peer pressured
Speaker 3: like I've tried accorded it. Yeah, I tried the like,
Speaker 3: you know, gentle.
Speaker 1: Approach and she wouldn't let me publish.
Speaker 3: And I got it. I got a tentative, a verbal yes,
Speaker 3: which in hindsight, I wish I got my lawyer hat
Speaker 3: on of yours and had it on paper or something.
Speaker 1: No, you know what, she's like, she'll always rescind she
Speaker 1: did the podcast, maybe delete the episode because she gets
Speaker 1: so she overthinks. She doesn't want to ever say anything
Speaker 1: that like would reflect badly on me or contradict something
Speaker 1: that I said about adoption, or she's just not a
Speaker 1: public eye person.
Speaker 3: I think also for her, adoption is a very sensitive
Speaker 3: topic in which she wants to be very respectful to
Speaker 3: the people of your audience that maybe be struggling or yeah,
Speaker 3: because I think she feels a slight sense of guilt
Speaker 3: which she shouldn't about being successful in it. Yeah, And
Speaker 3: like I think she's like people are some people are
Speaker 3: really trying and they can't and successful story.
Speaker 1: And I was like, she's also very conscious that, like
Speaker 1: I'm very open about it, but Alex isn't, so she
Speaker 1: doesn't want to say anything on his behalf. And then
Speaker 1: he's like, Mom, why did you do that? That's embarrassing
Speaker 1: because alex is already like Sarah stopped fucking being on
Speaker 1: the internet. It's not embarrassing all my friends. Literally He's like,
Speaker 1: everyone knows you're pregnant. Put your belly on. But mind you,
Speaker 1: he has already bought all of the outfits.
Speaker 3: And I'm so excited so much. But your mom's she
Speaker 3: I've heard the story, and your mom speaks about it
Speaker 3: very well and very engaging. So hopefully one day, but right.
Speaker 1: Now there has to be we have to like somehow
Speaker 1: like illegally record her that she doesn't know or maybe
Speaker 1: she'd a written one. She might do a written and
Speaker 1: then we could get a voice voice.
Speaker 3: I don't worry, we got it.
Speaker 1: No, No, she wouldn't do that. She would hear her
Speaker 1: and she'd be like, I hate my face, Like she's
Speaker 1: blessed her. I love her so much. Anyway, that was
Speaker 1: really long episode, but they were great questions and really
Speaker 1: liked them, so thank you so much, guys. We have
Speaker 1: coming up. We just had an amazing guest last week
Speaker 1: who decided she had her idea about the first ethical
Speaker 1: women's super fund for women in a shipping container in
Speaker 1: Baghdad in Iraq when she was the head of operations
Speaker 1: for the UN World Food Program. What the insane amazing?
Speaker 1: In between, she also won like a small business award.
Speaker 1: She had done her she said, oh what was the
Speaker 1: other thing? She got qualified in? Something completely different? In
Speaker 1: the middle she the run for parliament. She ran for
Speaker 1: parltmer Oh my god, Chrissy Hobb's amazing episode and then
Speaker 1: similar vein they actually know each other, but I didn't
Speaker 1: know that until afterwards. Next guest. The next guest coming
Speaker 1: up is the head of the Australian Antarctic Program, who
Speaker 1: also came from a defense background and has a fascinating journey.
Speaker 1: And he was the head of the Antarctic program during
Speaker 1: COVID when they got stuck in Antarctic and couldn't come back.
Speaker 1: So that was really fun talking to him about everything antire.
Speaker 3: I'll actually this is this time.
Speaker 1: Then read the book I've got to put you. Oh mate,
Speaker 1: it's his diary of being an Antarctic for five hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty seven days.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Okay, yes, and.
Speaker 1: Like couldn't like imagine going for twelve months and then
Speaker 1: you have to have a second winter. Yeah, with twenty people,
Speaker 1: that's cool. No one else isolated can't fly anything inner
Speaker 1: because COVID and you don't know when you're coming out.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Anyway, they were also the only people
Speaker 1: who had no lockdown because like.
Speaker 3: Because they verge of where they were there when they.
Speaker 1: Were kind of in lockdown, Like it was fun that
Speaker 1: they could like have parties and stuff because no one
Speaker 1: had COVID. They didn't have to do like social distance.
Speaker 3: He's reached twenty people literally.
Speaker 1: But it was them just like in winter, dark darkness,
Speaker 1: all day, no nothing to do. Is so interesting. He's
Speaker 1: like he's he's material on leadership in that and resilience
Speaker 1: like insane.
Speaker 3: Okay, can't wait.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's coming up next. And then we also
Speaker 1: have have one of the actors from Miss Sagon, Yes,
Speaker 1: who was a rugby player. I believe that's coming up. Yes,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know what else we have coming out. Christmas,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Christmas, Oh my god. Also, guys, Christmas
Speaker 1: festive shopping seize the a jewelry.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh my god, it's so pretty. It is so
Speaker 3: pretty in right now, it's really pretty. You guys have
Speaker 3: honestly peat pressure, but you have to really good Christmas present.
Speaker 3: But they look so pretty.
Speaker 1: And also it's wearable. Yeay, A gift of joy?
Speaker 3: Am getting some?
Speaker 1: Okay, great, I'll give you some.
Speaker 3: No, I don't want that, well
Speaker 1: I am anyway, Hello guys, Okay,