Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm Other Mere podcast. I got a tattoo.
Speaker 1: Do you like it?
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed?
Speaker 3: It's really Do you have a name for it?
Speaker 1: Well, it's a bee that but Beyonce queen Bee.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's what you were doing.
Speaker 3: No, she's so cute.
Speaker 1: This is my first ever tattoo. Well at fifty.
Speaker 3: Three, do you feel like you're cooler than the both
Speaker 3: of us?
Speaker 1: Definitely? Do not have any tattoos. So you're you, in particular, Emma,
Speaker 1: unusual for your generation.
Speaker 3: Yes, I've been told I have the personality of someone
Speaker 3: with tattoos. Y.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thank you to.
Speaker 1: Have a people get to because a lot of the
Speaker 1: young women around the office have lots of tiny, interesting tattoos,
Speaker 1: and I always want to ask them. And I was
Speaker 1: always too scared or not keen enough to know what
Speaker 1: I wanted. And then when I got this last weekend,
Speaker 1: I posted I should do obviously, I posted, and I said,
Speaker 1: is getting your first to fifty three a sign of
Speaker 1: confidence or crisis? Or do you too think confidence? No?
Speaker 4: Sorry, sorry, it depends. If you've got to sleeve, i'd
Speaker 4: say crisis. If you've got a face tattoo, I'd say crisis,
Speaker 4: but that is confidence.
Speaker 3: I think it depends like how you get the tattoo,
Speaker 3: Like if you're on holiday with friends, which I was confidence,
Speaker 3: but I would also planned it so well.
Speaker 1: I was on holiday with friends, so I wasn't just like, oh,
Speaker 1: how to margaritea No, I think that's confidence. If you
Speaker 1: were like, I'm just going to duck out for lunch
Speaker 1: and when you.
Speaker 3: Come back with tattoo, would be like.
Speaker 2: Something's going on you well today?
Speaker 1: So my bee? Do you want to know what it means?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Please?
Speaker 1: Here's another question, etiquate question. Can you ask people what
Speaker 1: the tattoos mean?
Speaker 3: Is that all right? I think people just love talking
Speaker 3: about it in general. Yes, you don't need to ask.
Speaker 4: I think if you have something permanently marked on your skin,
Speaker 4: you want to talk about it. It is always awkward
Speaker 4: when someone's got a date and you're like, what does
Speaker 4: that mean that it's the day myself die?
Speaker 1: Exactly.
Speaker 3: I do have a question about the bee though, did
Speaker 3: you really want a bee and then try to find
Speaker 3: a meaning After fact?
Speaker 1: I wanted a tattoo and I was like what would
Speaker 1: I get? And I wanted a bee because the bee
Speaker 1: is the symbol of Manchester, which is my hometown. The
Speaker 1: reason for that is because it's a worker bee, which
Speaker 1: this is not, by the way, but the symbol of
Speaker 1: Manchester's a worker bee because it's the birthplace of the
Speaker 1: Industrial Revolution and it's like we're as stronger together as
Speaker 1: a hive and work work, work, work, work, right, So
Speaker 1: what be is that this is just a bumble the
Speaker 1: ceuta one cuter one. It's a symbol of Manchester, which
Speaker 1: is my hometown. It's also the queen of the garden
Speaker 1: pollinating is a gardening superpower my nature and be for
Speaker 1: Billy Bee for Brint. So there you go, and Matilda
Speaker 1: she misses out and we'll work around that because I'm
Speaker 1: sure that tattoos are addictive. Everybody says so, so I'm
Speaker 1: off maybe all the insects, all the insects, a little
Speaker 1: swarm on my arm. Anyway, I'm very excited.
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 1: Thanks. Welcome to Mamma Mia out loud. It's what women
Speaker 1: are actually talking about on Friday, the twenty first of November.
Speaker 1: My name is Holly Wayne Wright, my name.
Speaker 2: Is m Vernon and I'm cles Stevens.
Speaker 1: Filling in for our Jesse. Here's what's on our agenda
Speaker 1: for today. It's Friday, just do things. We are talking
Speaker 1: about the trend towards underthinking instead of overthinking.
Speaker 4: Plus, I've had a very humbling experience on the internet,
Speaker 4: and we're going to unpack it.
Speaker 1: I cannot wait to unpack that.
Speaker 3: And there are new platforms to find dating, to find love,
Speaker 3: to find intimacy, and it's not the dating apps. Oh
Speaker 3: my god.
Speaker 1: I have so much to say about this, But first,
Speaker 1: Clere Stevens, Guys, I've become a mean explain, explain.
Speaker 4: It feels inevitable that I was always going to become
Speaker 4: a meme.
Speaker 3: This is big Friday energy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really is.
Speaker 4: It's like I have a dilemma. So this one is everywhere.
Speaker 4: What happened is over the last several months, I have
Speaker 4: just had messages on all the platforms from family and
Speaker 4: friends and acquaintances and vitally out loudest who are telling me, hey,
Speaker 4: there's this viral video millions and millions of views, and
Speaker 4: I think it's a photo of you.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. And it is also the scariest message
Speaker 3: to ever get.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, Oh oh that's me, that is me.
Speaker 1: Are we going to play the video for the people
Speaker 1: watching on YouTube.
Speaker 2: Yes we should, so yeah.
Speaker 1: Another reason to watch this on YouTube if you're not
Speaker 1: is that you can see this. But obviously also we'll
Speaker 1: put it on socials.
Speaker 4: So it starts with a photo of a kindergarten child
Speaker 4: with terrible hair, really really bad hair, crooked tea just
Speaker 4: still cute though, wonky jaw and glasses.
Speaker 1: She's just full of potential. Yeah, full of potential, that.
Speaker 2: Little that child is me. That child is me.
Speaker 4: Spoiler alert, it's me, And the text over it says
Speaker 4: to the guy who called me four eyes in elementary.
Speaker 4: Then it flicks to a photo of this very sexy
Speaker 4: woman in Laingere and it says, look at me now,
Speaker 4: But the.
Speaker 1: Woman isn't you.
Speaker 2: The woman in lingerie is not confused those.
Speaker 1: Of us who aren't entirely literate and me, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not me.
Speaker 4: The joke is that while the child with the glasses
Speaker 4: is me and is Caucasian, the woman in the laundree
Speaker 4: is black, so the childhood photo is clearly not her.
Speaker 4: And there's the original video that the woman's made that's
Speaker 4: gone crazy crazy viral. Then there's a secondary video of
Speaker 4: the original video, and then a guy has stitched it
Speaker 4: with a confused expression, and then that went even more viral.
Speaker 4: So I've had beautiful out louders reach out to see
Speaker 4: if I'm okay, and to say because.
Speaker 1: In some ways you've been used as like a before,
Speaker 1: not not in some ways before, but like not even
Speaker 1: using you as the after.
Speaker 2: I'm not the after.
Speaker 1: Okay, No, are you okay?
Speaker 4: I am absolutely okay, and I'm okay because I do
Speaker 4: think it is genuinely objectively hilarious, like props to that woman,
Speaker 4: props to the man, like if you're going to make
Speaker 4: funny content, I'm so happy to be a part of it.
Speaker 1: I have questions. Yes, am I allowed to do that?
Speaker 1: Ords you'll have me to hold them well.
Speaker 4: I thought I would share the context of why that
Speaker 4: photo is on the internet in the first play, because
Speaker 4: I think that's crucial, because I think it could be
Speaker 4: mean if somebody had, I don't know, gone through digital
Speaker 4: archives from my primary school and found my photo and
Speaker 4: thought that kid's ugly.
Speaker 2: I'll make a joke about that, but the photo exists.
Speaker 1: It's still mean, But the photo.
Speaker 4: Exists on the internet because I wrote an article years
Speaker 4: ago about the untold benefits of being an ugly child,
Speaker 4: and I used that photo as the feature image, and
Speaker 4: it was all about how you're routinely underestimated, you develop hobbies,
Speaker 4: you learn very young that life isn't fair, and so on.
Speaker 4: So I'm not offended because I was making fun of
Speaker 4: myself in the first instance.
Speaker 3: And if you use the words ugly child, that would
Speaker 3: have done really well for SEO.
Speaker 1: It's so well so not that we know this for sure,
Speaker 1: but there's a possibility that the content creator who made that,
Speaker 1: who wanted to make this very funny gag and is
Speaker 1: a very funny gag because it's clearly not her, etcetera.
Speaker 1: If she'd have googled ugly child. There's a chance that
Speaker 1: of all the ugly children on the internet who came
Speaker 1: up you with the word.
Speaker 4: She was like, Mmm, no, that kid's your cud, that
Speaker 4: kid's your kid. Oh, that one's ugly, that one's hideous,
Speaker 4: And it was my little face being like hello.
Speaker 1: But a generous read is as em says, although ugly
Speaker 1: child's good freshio, it also suggests that you were in
Speaker 1: on the whole thing. So like taking that image as
Speaker 1: the before feels a little less mean.
Speaker 3: Can had the article yeah, giving you a page view.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could have been like.
Speaker 3: Oh, she gets it, she knows she won't be offended exactly.
Speaker 1: So I have a lot of questions about this, right.
Speaker 1: So first of all, just finding out one day that
Speaker 1: you are a meme. So any image of you like
Speaker 1: this one obviously is of you as a child, but
Speaker 1: it could be any image of you, not necessarily you Claire,
Speaker 1: but like drunk at the races or doing something cringey
Speaker 1: or whatever, could be a meme at any time. So
Speaker 1: for a start, we all need to live on hilert
Speaker 1: about that situation, because it's not like someone asked you permission. No,
Speaker 1: And if you were upset, although you could obviously tell
Speaker 1: her and say, hey, stop calling seven year old me
Speaker 1: ugly or whatever, four year old me ugly, she doesn't
Speaker 1: have any need to do that. No, So you have
Speaker 1: no power in this situation. So choosing for it not
Speaker 1: to upset you is the correct and mature thing to do.
Speaker 1: What I want to know, though, when you look at
Speaker 1: that picture of yourself in that context, do you feel
Speaker 1: sorry for her?
Speaker 4: I think it might not be a good thing. But
Speaker 4: when I look at a pickture of that girl.
Speaker 2: I don't really see myself I don't.
Speaker 4: I think there's a bit of distance or I think
Speaker 4: it's this and I think I credit my mum with this.
Speaker 4: When I look at that girl, I don't value her
Speaker 4: for her appearance, you know, Like, I'm like, that was
Speaker 4: not what was important to me then, clearly what was
Speaker 4: important to my mother clearly, and so I because it
Speaker 4: wasn't something I valued then, and it's not something I
Speaker 4: value in children, and it's not something I've ever valued
Speaker 4: myself for.
Speaker 1: I think though that actually, and as evidenced by the
Speaker 1: title of that story that you wrote about it, I
Speaker 1: think that actually being I'm not going to say ugly,
Speaker 1: because that's an ugly will to use about children, and
Speaker 1: only you are allowed to use it about yourself. But
Speaker 1: let's say awkward, yeah, uncool, whatever we want to call it.
Speaker 1: Kid is probably quite a big part of your personality
Speaker 1: and a big part of your story that you tell
Speaker 1: yourself right like about your life is like, I was
Speaker 1: not a cool kid. Yes, I was ador cooky, dorky
Speaker 1: kid who people were sometimes mean to you no idea
Speaker 1: what And it probably has been a You are a
Speaker 1: very successful adult who is very glamorous. In the pages
Speaker 1: of Stellar magazine, I just say, like, it's probably part
Speaker 1: of your engine.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Like, looking at that kid, I'm like, I genuinely do think,
Speaker 4: especially as a woman, that there is a benefit to
Speaker 4: having experienced that really formative part of your life being
Speaker 4: funny looking where you weren't valued for that, and I'm
Speaker 4: grateful for that. I think it makes aging easier. I
Speaker 4: think it makes so many things easier because I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: I'm not grieving something that I had because it was
Speaker 4: never what I valued myself for.
Speaker 2: So I look.
Speaker 4: At that as something I'm.
Speaker 2: Really grateful for. With that said, I did think if
Speaker 2: that was a picture of my daughter, I would be hard.
Speaker 1: I would also be furious. Yeah, I'm quite defensive about
Speaker 1: your young self in this situation. Yes, And I don't
Speaker 1: want to write a strongly worded letter to the internet
Speaker 1: about it. But we're always told now, particularly with girls,
Speaker 1: not to praise them for their appearance from the time
Speaker 1: they're little, but everybody does, oh, you're so cute. Oh
Speaker 1: you're so cute. Oh my god, you're so cute. And
Speaker 1: whenever we see a picture of a friend's baby, whenever
Speaker 1: we see a friend's little child, we do talk about
Speaker 1: what they look like, and we should you know. We're
Speaker 1: all learning to like unpick those things, but it's so
Speaker 1: deep in our culture. The King's cute and kids are
Speaker 1: cute and beautiful to somebody all the time, et cetera,
Speaker 1: blah blah. But it's like, I feel like that would
Speaker 1: be really mean. If that was your kid, you'd go
Speaker 1: and punch that person. Who knows.
Speaker 2: And if that was you, if that had been a
Speaker 2: photo of you, howard you feel.
Speaker 1: I'd feel deeply upset.
Speaker 3: I'd cry. Probably. I feel like I've talked about myself
Speaker 3: like my younger self in like a self deprecating way,
Speaker 3: but it also feels like that's something only I can do.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like when you're complaining to your friends,
Speaker 3: You're like, go, my sister's being such a bitch, But
Speaker 3: if someone else goes your sister's a bitch, I'm like, whoa, Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's only something I can do. And I struggle actually
Speaker 3: separating myself from my younger self. I remember I wrote
Speaker 3: an article probably a year ago and like things I
Speaker 3: wish I knew before turning twenty, I struggled doing that
Speaker 3: because I still see myself as a five year old
Speaker 3: the same way I see myself as a twenty nine
Speaker 3: year old. I didn't see that as a separate person.
Speaker 3: Like if that was me and I saw that photo myself,
Speaker 3: all I'm thinking about is me now, Like I can't
Speaker 3: see her as a young girl. I just see the
Speaker 3: same person.
Speaker 1: You know, all those memes on the internet about this
Speaker 1: is what Kylie Jenner used to look like, like not
Speaker 1: wanting to be Yeah, but this is this is a
Speaker 1: very common internet thing, right, look at this unflattering picture
Speaker 1: of celebrity, and it could be Kylie Jenner, it could
Speaker 1: be Chloe kardash Those two seem to get that a
Speaker 1: lot because they've kind of deliberately, through all kinds of
Speaker 1: different means, transformed themselves to be as far away from
Speaker 1: that person as they could be. Right, So again, maybe
Speaker 1: that's part of their engine, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I was mocked, I was dissed. I was called the
Speaker 1: uncoll one, the ugly one. Whatever. I'll show you. I'm
Speaker 1: going to become the hottest woman in the world and
Speaker 1: go out with Timothy fucking challow May and you can
Speaker 1: come for me. I wonder if in another person it
Speaker 1: could crush your confidence to the point that you can
Speaker 1: never recover. So it's really hard, which is why it's
Speaker 1: difficult to know how to feel about laughing about your meme. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like it is funny, but it's also could be
Speaker 1: really crushing, and like I think.
Speaker 4: It's also she said to the guy who called me
Speaker 4: four eyes, and it's like, so really, the only joke
Speaker 4: she's making is it's this funny looking kid with glasses.
Speaker 4: I'm sure it would be so different if there was
Speaker 4: like a serious physical deformity or you know, there's a
Speaker 4: million different ways that it could actually be something about
Speaker 4: you that hasn't changed or that you can't change.
Speaker 2: Whereas I look.
Speaker 4: At that and think, yeah, five year old with crooked
Speaker 4: glasses and half missing teeth and a bad haircut, like
Speaker 4: they're all things theoretically that you grow out of, So
Speaker 4: it feels very different.
Speaker 2: But yeah, if it was something innately about me.
Speaker 3: But it's also it's also the confidence of like like
Speaker 3: being that woman who's on the quote unquote after and
Speaker 3: she is like a stunning person, like.
Speaker 2: Beautiful in her sexy linger.
Speaker 3: I'm like yeah, but I'm like I can't even like
Speaker 3: fathom ever doing like a video like that of going
Speaker 3: look at me.
Speaker 2: Now, Yeah, that's so mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if they're like, yeah, and what is that? Why
Speaker 1: there isn't a part of you that's tempted to make
Speaker 1: your own video or with that picture. Yeah, I'm just
Speaker 1: picturing that you could get that picture and then you
Speaker 1: could do, you know, really glamorous publicity shot of yourself
Speaker 1: where you're looking really gorgeous and you could be like,
Speaker 1: look at me now. But you would never do that. No, No,
Speaker 1: you would die and because it would be would be
Speaker 1: so off rand for you, and it would also.
Speaker 4: Be implying that like someone's more valuable because they no
Speaker 4: longer look like that. Like, I don't know, it would
Speaker 4: feel the same person, Yeah, I'm the same person. But yeah,
Speaker 4: I do think that there's something about like I feel
Speaker 4: a lot of compassion for that little girl.
Speaker 2: I don't feel shame, and I feel.
Speaker 1: No shame, And you feel respect for the content creator
Speaker 1: because you remire her. Comedy chops.
Speaker 2: Yes, if it wasn't funny, it might be different.
Speaker 3: There is a fairly new piece of advice that's going
Speaker 3: around the internet, and it is everything is a dating
Speaker 3: app if you try hard enough, like what so. GQ
Speaker 3: has reported that dating apps have experienced a drop in
Speaker 3: active users in the past few years, and there's been
Speaker 3: a rise in people connecting intimately on other platforms that
Speaker 3: has absolutely nothing to do with dating. The number one
Speaker 3: platform apparently to flirt is LinkedIn LinkedIn linked and I
Speaker 3: have to say I'm on board with this.
Speaker 1: LinkedIn is for your work. In my mind mind, I
Speaker 1: don't use it much. But do you have one?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I do have one, but it's quite out of date.
Speaker 1: And when I needed to go and see if it
Speaker 1: was in fact a dating app these days, I realized, Shit,
Speaker 1: I better lift my gamers. I'm hoping to find my
Speaker 1: next elderly boyfriend on is one of the reasons for
Speaker 1: this that there's a better gender balance because you famously,
Speaker 1: I tell people this all the time. By the way,
Speaker 1: you famously have a decree that any man who's on
Speaker 1: Instagram who doesn't need it for professional purposes is a
Speaker 1: red flag. And I'm always telling people that because I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's harsh. She's harsh, but she knows shit. So as
Speaker 1: long as it's.
Speaker 3: Like my caveat there is like, as long as they're
Speaker 3: Instagram is on private. If you have a public man
Speaker 3: who has a public Instagram.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, that's right. Yeah, so you have a
Speaker 1: problem with that. So instagram skews more female LinkedIn, I
Speaker 1: imagine the gender split is more. Even so if you
Speaker 1: are looking for a heterosexual partner, a partner of sex,
Speaker 1: it's maybe more fertile hunting ground.
Speaker 3: It's more.
Speaker 1: I think it's and you know they have a job.
Speaker 3: You know they have a job. And I think it's
Speaker 3: seemingly more men because men are louder on LinkedIn about
Speaker 3: like what they're doing and how they're winning awards and
Speaker 3: how they impress their boss and they got to pay rise.
Speaker 1: But also your award, you won an award or again LinkedIn.
Speaker 3: I did it in a really cool way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was going to say I liked it. I
Speaker 4: didn't know if it was you or Mum Mayer.
Speaker 2: Who posted it.
Speaker 3: Mum and Mea did a post. But when I got
Speaker 3: the award, the people who are presenting the award posted
Speaker 3: all the winners and I just reposted.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so thought that's how you do it, Like I'm
Speaker 2: award winning. What can I say?
Speaker 3: But it's easier to find people on LinkedIn because there
Speaker 3: was this period in time, and I think it was
Speaker 3: around the twenty eighteen mark where LinkedIn became a thing,
Speaker 3: and everyone was like, I need to make a LinkedIn
Speaker 3: this is how I'm going to get the best job
Speaker 3: of my life. So everyone has a LinkedIn profile, whether
Speaker 3: you use it or not, and all of these profiles
Speaker 3: are generally public. So when you're meeting someone, or even
Speaker 3: if you're just sitting next to someone on the number
Speaker 3: one conversation you have with people is.
Speaker 1: Always what do you do for work?
Speaker 3: So all you need to do is know someone's first name, generally,
Speaker 3: what they do for work, and the city they're in. So, Holly,
Speaker 3: you haven't used LinkedIn in ages? I typed in Holly
Speaker 3: author Sydney, You're the first one that came out right.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you just an adjacent question? It might
Speaker 1: be a rabbit hole. Some people are very anti asking
Speaker 1: people straight up what they do for work, but I
Speaker 1: feel like it's a really it's a question that tells
Speaker 1: you a lot about people. Right Where do you stand
Speaker 1: on that in the dating context?
Speaker 3: I'm a big fan of asking people what they do
Speaker 3: for work because I'm I like my work and I
Speaker 3: want to tell them about my work. So you have
Speaker 3: to do a bit of it.
Speaker 1: And if they were kind of like, who cares what
Speaker 1: I do for work in it's all about what's on
Speaker 1: the inside.
Speaker 3: Yeah, be like oh unemployed, Okay, got it, got it?
Speaker 1: Please continue? Got it.
Speaker 3: So what I found with LinkedIn is that men are
Speaker 3: doing dating apps completely wrong because every time I find
Speaker 3: a man on LinkedIn, which is the platform are most
Speaker 3: likely to find them on, because they always have a
Speaker 3: bit about their job and their dating profile. They always
Speaker 3: look so much better on LinkedIn than they do in
Speaker 3: their dating apps.
Speaker 1: So does that tell us that they're more invested in
Speaker 1: presenting a good face for work than Yeah.
Speaker 4: It's just that they're so I feel like on dating
Speaker 4: apps on social media, they'll often have a group photo
Speaker 4: and it's like, no, no, no, I need a professional headshot
Speaker 4: to just see.
Speaker 3: It's always blurry ye in the dark, and they.
Speaker 1: Look good in a suit.
Speaker 3: They look because I want to get their headshot. They're like,
Speaker 3: this is my one opportunity to get a photo because
Speaker 3: people don't photograph men, and I'm very against that. I
Speaker 3: think we needed to take photos of men more often.
Speaker 3: That's so true.
Speaker 1: So it's a dating app. If you are looking for
Speaker 1: a corporate dude, you're not going.
Speaker 3: To find My trad is on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1: Time I've been spending on LinkedIn lately.
Speaker 3: I think it's more socially acceptable to d m someone
Speaker 3: on LinkedIn because everyone's doing it.
Speaker 1: What would be a good starting line on LinkedIn?
Speaker 3: Be like, hey, John, I'm really interested in your line
Speaker 3: of would love to grab a coffee with you to
Speaker 3: learn more about it.
Speaker 4: I went through my LinkedIn because I was like, have
Speaker 4: I been missing? But this is a dating platform, and
Speaker 4: so I looked at some of my messages and there
Speaker 4: were semesters from men.
Speaker 1: So did you use the picture of yourself as a kidna?
Speaker 1: I should?
Speaker 4: Actually that would make sure I never have the future employment.
Speaker 4: So message from Kelvin greetings Claire, may the work of
Speaker 4: your hands be blessed, then a link to his website.
Speaker 2: Do you think he was hitting on me? I don't
Speaker 2: think so, just hitting on your hands like the work
Speaker 2: of my hand.
Speaker 4: I don't really work with my hands. They're not calloused
Speaker 4: at all. Ben Tamim said, hello, ma'am, And I thought
Speaker 4: that was quiet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: I've got lots of messages from people being like, if
Speaker 4: you work in podcasting, I can, and I think you're
Speaker 4: a bot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not completely certain.
Speaker 4: Some of them are though there are a lot of bots,
Speaker 4: but I don't think people are their best selves on LinkedIn.
Speaker 4: I describe it the LinkedIn environment as people just wanking quickly.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think that's what they're doing.
Speaker 1: And they're showing you off their things. Oh my thing.
Speaker 2: I think it's so creamy.
Speaker 3: But you have to play the game to get game. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I get M's position, but that's just because of the
Speaker 1: kind of person you are, and you're like me, it's
Speaker 1: our mother's that's what you think.
Speaker 2: You think you're good.
Speaker 1: You think there's something good about you. Do you think
Speaker 1: there's something special about you? Stop showing up. So this
Speaker 1: is different because M doesn't have a mother like that.
Speaker 2: But EM isn't doing overly earnest posts on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1: She's fine.
Speaker 3: You just an'll have to be cool. You have to
Speaker 3: be yourself.
Speaker 1: I've also heard that some of the other surprising platforms
Speaker 1: like Strava. Isn't Strava just for bike riding.
Speaker 3: Strava good one because it's running and it's like a
Speaker 3: social you post like your root and I'm not a runner.
Speaker 3: I don't you Strava. I don't even know what the
Speaker 3: app's called really to download it, but you post a
Speaker 3: running route and then you can people and then they
Speaker 3: can like favorite your roots and then I think that's
Speaker 3: also how people like make running clubs because they all
Speaker 3: do the run club together. So if you see a
Speaker 3: cute guy in your run club but you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: I don't feel like talking to you, then you just
Speaker 3: see if he's also connected to the running route that
Speaker 3: you did that morning.
Speaker 1: And also you can just stalk him and work out
Speaker 1: that it's six am dawn culture, he's going to be
Speaker 1: pounding his way around the park run after him home
Speaker 1: in a Bridget Jones. You just have to be there,
Speaker 1: like fall over awkwardly in his path and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've had some stranger.
Speaker 3: And then there you go. There It is easy. I
Speaker 3: met a guy on Tumbla once.
Speaker 2: Oh see tumblr.
Speaker 4: Tumblr was like Instagram before Instagram, it was like blog yeah,
Speaker 4: like angsty teams.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how did you meet the guy on Tumblr?
Speaker 3: So Tumblr had this feature that if you were really
Speaker 3: popular on Tumblr, people could send in like anonymous questions
Speaker 3: to you and then you could reply kind of like
Speaker 3: Instagram stories like ask me anything.
Speaker 2: Didn't they get really mean? Sometimes they got really mean?
Speaker 3: And Okay, I have confession I wanted to be really
Speaker 3: popular on Tumbler, but no one really cared about all
Speaker 3: the stuff I was reblogging, so I started sending myself
Speaker 3: anonymous questions. Yeah, that will like quite mean to myself.
Speaker 3: And then I'd come into school and be like, guys,
Speaker 3: this girl called me ugly and I'd be like no, no, no.
Speaker 3: And then this guy messaged me on tom going.
Speaker 1: I was literally I was your own troll. I was
Speaker 1: fourteen years old.
Speaker 3: And then this guy messaged me on tom going. Hey,
Speaker 3: I saw this question and I don't believe that person,
Speaker 3: and I was like, that is so nice. And then
Speaker 3: when we were about sixteen, we went to the movies together,
Speaker 3: I think, and then I don't know what happened after that.
Speaker 1: Well, see me and my old friends. People are just
Speaker 1: inappropriately flirting with the high school boyfriends you haven't seen
Speaker 1: for thirty years. That's all that's happening. In my social
Speaker 1: media was just like, hey, hey, remember mister Thomas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: next up out loud as. I was about to say,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get self helpy. But if you haven't been
Speaker 1: helped the content of this podcast so much advice, what
Speaker 1: have you been doing? Get on LinkedIn, get a root
Speaker 1: from your root, we are going to be back to
Speaker 1: explain why everybody is underthinking. So I clicked on a
Speaker 1: substack called literally just Do Things the other day and
Speaker 1: it had a lot of likes and follows, and obviously
Speaker 1: I write a substack. You write a substack, But I'm
Speaker 1: always like, what is anyone ever going to read? So
Speaker 1: I was like, what's this bitch got to say that
Speaker 1: all these people have read about? No, I wasn't quite
Speaker 1: that mean, but anyway, it was called literally just do
Speaker 1: Things and it was definitely written by someone who's super
Speaker 1: cool or super busy. Because there's no capital letters in
Speaker 1: the headline. That's a sign.
Speaker 4: Have you noticed people sometimes like their whole post has
Speaker 4: no capital letters.
Speaker 2: It's the trendy way to write now.
Speaker 1: It's not like just learn about punctuation, which is hard
Speaker 1: because when you type in a headline on substack, it
Speaker 1: automatically capitalizes the first work, so you'd have to go
Speaker 1: back backspace that first letter and make it more.
Speaker 2: So it's actually not cool. It's you're trying really time.
Speaker 1: Well, that's because this person does things, and that's what's
Speaker 1: like me, she did. So it's all about not pausing
Speaker 1: before you do stuff, And it's by this writer. She's
Speaker 1: London based creative called Elefiri Gunari, and she wrote about
Speaker 1: how she thinks that the difference between herself and she's
Speaker 1: obviously pretty successful and considers herself pretty successful. She's, you know,
Speaker 1: writing popular substacks and she's a founder and all this
Speaker 1: stuff and her frustrated friends is the time between them
Speaker 1: thinking of an idea or thinking of a thing they
Speaker 1: want to do and doing the thing. She writes in
Speaker 1: this have you seen those tweets saying things like there
Speaker 1: are people with half your skills and intelligence living out
Speaker 1: your dreams just because they put themselves out there and
Speaker 1: didn't overthink it. She says, It's definitely true. When I
Speaker 1: observe my own experience and analyze where things worked out,
Speaker 1: I can tell you it wasn't because of my skills
Speaker 1: of my knowledge. It was ninety percent because every time
Speaker 1: I had an idea but anything I wanted to do,
Speaker 1: I would take advantage of the momentum of inspiration immediately
Speaker 1: and act on it. It's called underthinking, a bias to
Speaker 1: action or just do it, which a very famous brand
Speaker 1: had been using for ages, but interestingly, Nike have.
Speaker 3: Tweaked just do it to why do it?
Speaker 1: To appeal to a younger generation, who they say needs
Speaker 1: to know the why.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I don't like that.
Speaker 1: The underthinking. I literally just do things people would not approve.
Speaker 1: But let me tell you someone who would approve Meil Robins.
Speaker 1: Because this is just to illustrate that this is not
Speaker 1: just something to do in your professional life. They're saying
Speaker 1: you should underthink things in your personal life too. So
Speaker 1: it's very close to Mel Robbins's five second rule theory
Speaker 1: right now. Although she cops a lot of shit on
Speaker 1: Internet these days, Mail Robins, she is enormously mind bogglingly
Speaker 1: successful with her stuff. Let Them is the biggest selling
Speaker 1: book of the year across all genres. She's literally only
Speaker 1: just been knocked off the top of the New York
Speaker 1: Times best seller It sold six million copies. Blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And the book before that was called
Speaker 1: the five second Rule, which is she says, it's the
Speaker 1: key to her first success. She says, think of a
Speaker 1: thing anything. I need to get up earlier. I need
Speaker 1: to not have that drink, I need to pay that bill,
Speaker 1: call that person, go to Pilates, answer that email, she's
Speaker 1: like five four three two one.
Speaker 4: Do it.
Speaker 1: Here she is talking about.
Speaker 5: That there's this five second window that defines your whole life.
Speaker 5: It's this moment where you pause and hesitate. And in
Speaker 5: this five second window where you move from this moment
Speaker 5: of inspiration and knowing and motivation or confidence or whatever
Speaker 5: you want to call it, and you hesitate and you
Speaker 5: start to consider, well, how do I feel about doing it?
Speaker 5: You move from this bias towards action to a bias
Speaker 5: towards thinking, and inside this hesitation comes all the anxiety,
Speaker 5: all the self doubt, all of the patterns, and all
Speaker 5: of the reasons. There's always an excuse not to do something.
Speaker 5: And that morning, you guys, I felt my hand reaching
Speaker 5: for the snowsze button. Yeah, because the thoughts were like,
Speaker 5: why why am I getting out of bed so it's dark?
Speaker 5: I don't feel like it, Like how so how does
Speaker 5: that going to help do? Like I don't want to? Yeah,
Speaker 5: And I just started counting backwards five four three two one,
Speaker 5: and I stood up And that was the moment that
Speaker 5: changed my life. And it didn't change my life overnight.
Speaker 5: What happened is over time, counting five four three two one,
Speaker 5: Like seventy three times a day five for three two one.
Speaker 5: Put down the bourbon five for three two one. Pick
Speaker 5: up the phone and call somebody and tell them I
Speaker 5: need a job. Five four three two one. Get out
Speaker 5: of bed five for two to one, take a deep breath,
Speaker 5: and don't yellow at Chris.
Speaker 1: So, why is underthinking having a moment in the culture.
Speaker 4: I agree that we have gone from I mean, it's
Speaker 4: so bizarre that literally just do it is countercultural.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, just do.
Speaker 4: Things because that's the only way anything happens in life.
Speaker 4: And it's so basic that I think anybody with any
Speaker 4: life experience can see that often when you're young, it's
Speaker 4: your obliviousness that was a gift. I think about this
Speaker 4: Harvard commencement speech that Natalie Portman gave in twenty fifteen,
Speaker 4: and she credits all her success to her obliviousness. She's like,
Speaker 4: it's not about doing things for her, it wasn't about
Speaker 4: doing things when you're scared, because she's anxious and if
Speaker 4: she fears something, which gets in her head, all of that.
Speaker 4: But she's like the fact that for her started acting
Speaker 4: when she was like eleven, that she was naive was
Speaker 4: actually the most beautiful thing, And she's got this point
Speaker 4: that inexperience can sometimes be an asset. It's sometimes what
Speaker 4: unlocks original and unconventional thinking. And she has an example
Speaker 4: of a friend who's a famous violinist who said he
Speaker 4: can't compose because he knows too many pieces, and so
Speaker 4: as soon as he plays a note, he can hear
Speaker 4: all the songs that are in that note, and his
Speaker 4: is never going to be as good and all of that.
Speaker 4: So the idea of literally just do it before you
Speaker 4: get in your head is the key to everything. I've
Speaker 4: got kind of a personal example, which is I had
Speaker 4: to use this one hundred percent when I was writing
Speaker 4: my book because I probably, in terms of writing my novel,
Speaker 4: I wanted to do it for so so so long.
Speaker 4: And I'm actually glad I didn't do it five years ago,
Speaker 4: because it's a better book than it would have been
Speaker 4: had I've written it five years ago. But a few
Speaker 4: days before it was due, I was having a complete
Speaker 4: crisis of confidence and overthinking, and I was in my
Speaker 4: room crying, and I said to Rory, like the book
Speaker 4: was done at this point, and I was like, I
Speaker 4: can't submit it. I just can't. It's just not absolutely perfect.
Speaker 4: I could work on it for another ten years. And
Speaker 4: Rory pointed to our wardrobe. He was a musician for
Speaker 4: ten years trying to be a musician, and he pointed
Speaker 4: to the wardrobe and he's like, in that wardrobe is
Speaker 4: a box of USBs, and on those USBs are hundreds
Speaker 4: of songs that no one's ever heard because I couldn't
Speaker 4: release them into the world. And he's like, this act
Speaker 4: of just doing it, of literally just doing it, of
Speaker 4: handing the thing in and having it exist in the
Speaker 4: world is the most powerful thing you can possibly do.
Speaker 2: And I and it really.
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, And every process, every creative process
Speaker 4: especially is iterative, so of course you're not ready when
Speaker 4: you first do it. I'm sure this happens to you,
Speaker 4: Holly as well. People are like, how do I write
Speaker 4: a book?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm like, you sit down, and you're right. But
Speaker 2: there is a lot of in our culture.
Speaker 4: There's a lot of like I'll do all these courses
Speaker 4: and I'll do all these things and I'll feel ready,
Speaker 4: and I'll get coffees with people and I'm like, you
Speaker 4: just have to do it.
Speaker 2: You just have to do it, and you learn.
Speaker 1: Am I want to know if you're an overthinker or not.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't classify myself as an overthinker, but I am
Speaker 3: a deep procrastinator too, and I think that comes from
Speaker 3: a bit of a fear of failure. I love this advice.
Speaker 3: I always listen to podcasts and read books about just
Speaker 3: doing the thing because I'm so in awe of people
Speaker 3: who have become so successful by just doing it. And
Speaker 3: I remember I was on a plane on the way
Speaker 3: home and I was reading a book that I think
Speaker 3: you recommended whole. It was Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic Creativity.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: And in the book she tells a story that I
Speaker 3: think about every day, how she really really wanted to
Speaker 3: write a book about the Amazon and she had everything
Speaker 3: planned out and it just wasn't the right time. And
Speaker 3: she kept thinking about this book and thinking about it
Speaker 3: and thinking about it, and then someone else wrote it
Speaker 3: like the exact same story and patch it and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, someone's going to do the
Speaker 3: thing before I do it. I need to do it.
Speaker 3: I need to do it. And I got to the
Speaker 3: plane and I didn't do it, and I still haven't
Speaker 3: done it, and I don't know what it is. And
Speaker 3: the thing is like I'm now looking at all the
Speaker 3: self help books and all the podcasts and meeting people
Speaker 3: with coffee just to find the motivation to do the
Speaker 3: thing rather than just doing it.
Speaker 1: I think that, you know how, I generally don't like
Speaker 1: blanket self help advice because I think that we're all
Speaker 1: different kinds of people, and some people are innately just
Speaker 1: do it people, right. I think it's weird that Nike've
Speaker 1: changed their slogan just when just do it's coming back
Speaker 1: in fashion. But anyway, Mia is a just do it person. Unquestionably,
Speaker 1: she is like, let's fix that, let's do that, let's
Speaker 1: try that, Let's stop that immediately now, tomorrow, yesterday, let's not.
Speaker 2: Eat, let's launch this thing next week.
Speaker 1: And the thing is is, sometimes that is exactly the
Speaker 1: right thing to do, and sometimes it isn't. But her
Speaker 1: mantra has always been, and this woman says in this newsletter,
Speaker 1: done is better than perfect always, and that drive for
Speaker 1: perfectionism is like the enemy of productivity. Right, so just
Speaker 1: do it. But the thing is is, I think it's
Speaker 1: much bigger than professional stuff in what people's personal lives.
Speaker 1: I've got friends who are very just do it biased,
Speaker 1: So you know, they immediately they're like, we're gonna paint
Speaker 1: this room. Me and Brent would be talking about painting
Speaker 1: that room for two years before we paint the room.
Speaker 1: My friend Penny is on the phone to the painter
Speaker 1: before that sentence has come out of her head. You know,
Speaker 1: just do it, just get it done, just do it,
Speaker 1: like do it now, do it. And I'm not wired
Speaker 1: that way, so I have to push myself to be
Speaker 1: that person because my natural inclination is, let's think about it,
Speaker 1: let's ponder it, I say all the time, and I shouldn't.
Speaker 1: And although people who know me always say it's a
Speaker 1: code for I don't want to is, I always say,
Speaker 1: let's see.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And obviously I can do things like I've you know,
Speaker 1: I have written books, I have had a good career.
Speaker 1: I have done lots of things, but it takes me
Speaker 1: a long time to get there mentally often. So I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is excellent advice for me, except
Speaker 1: to push me out of procrastination when I'm stuck where
Speaker 1: you're stuck, m And I am a little bit at
Speaker 1: the minute, and that you know, I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I've made the decision to do it, but it's just
Speaker 1: the step that I need to hear this. I need
Speaker 1: the mel Robins five four three two one pick up
Speaker 1: the phone and.
Speaker 3: Does that work for you?
Speaker 1: Well, I can make it work for me, but it's
Speaker 1: not my natural inclination. My natural inclination is, like, let's.
Speaker 4: See, because I'm the same Holly, I do a lot
Speaker 4: of contemplation and and I often sometimes when I do,
Speaker 4: try to force myself to be impulsive and just be like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna make that decision.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna do that thing.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I make more work for myself because sometimes let's
Speaker 4: wait and see, problems solve themselves.
Speaker 1: They do, and if you don't present.
Speaker 4: Themselves, yes, and if you don't allow that to happen,
Speaker 4: like I always think, I think I make good decisions,
Speaker 4: but I'm a very slow decision maker. Yes, I have
Speaker 4: to think about it a lot. The part of this
Speaker 4: I really agree with is about getting out of your
Speaker 4: comfort zone and trying new things and not seeing yourself
Speaker 4: as so fragile and so vulnerable that if you do
Speaker 4: something and it's not a positive experience, it's going to
Speaker 4: end your life.
Speaker 2: Like that's not what's going to happen. So I'm glad that.
Speaker 4: For example, when I was an anxious kid, I sort
Speaker 4: of had this mentality when it came to like public
Speaker 4: speaking or trying at sport.
Speaker 2: Which I was always appalling at that.
Speaker 4: I just the mentality was, you just do it, and
Speaker 4: you build up confidence and you build up skills, even
Speaker 4: if you don't have a natural proclivity to do that.
Speaker 1: And I have one question for you. Is this true?
Speaker 2: I called someone gen z or younger person, and.
Speaker 3: She's like, what is it deal with these young people?
Speaker 3: When they enter the phone, they don't say anything.
Speaker 6: I've seen someone talk about this and I was like,
Speaker 6: huh And she's like and I was like, oh, and
Speaker 6: they're like, hi's up. She's like, and I guess this
Speaker 6: is a thing now, like when you pick up When
Speaker 6: they pick up the phone, they don't say anything.
Speaker 3: And I think that's crazy. Am I crazy for thinking this?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 6: And I was like, oh my god, how weird. That
Speaker 6: must just be the people, she knows. I looked at
Speaker 6: the comments.
Speaker 2: All of them were like, you called me, you talk first.
Speaker 1: You called me you talk first. Is it true that
Speaker 1: gen zs do not speak when they pick up the phone.
Speaker 1: That little grab that you just heard is from an
Speaker 1: American podcast called Sweet and Salty Sister Pod. I know
Speaker 1: nothing about it, but that clip has gone viral because
Speaker 1: a lot of people are like, yeah, my friends don't
Speaker 1: speak when they pick up the phone either. What is
Speaker 1: that true? Do you speak when you pick up a phone.
Speaker 3: I didn't know it was a generation thing. I thought
Speaker 3: it was just a me thing where I don't you
Speaker 3: don't if it's someone I know who's calling, Like if
Speaker 3: I call you, Yeah, if you called me, I'd be like, hey, hole, Yeah,
Speaker 3: if you call me, I'd be like hey Claire, because
Speaker 3: I have your number saved. If it was an unknown number,
Speaker 3: I usually pick it up and wait for them to
Speaker 3: say hi first. Really, And it's a new thing I've
Speaker 3: started doing. And I think that's because I get so
Speaker 3: many spam calls.
Speaker 1: I noticed this because my daughter does it. I often
Speaker 1: call her and she doesn't say hi Mom.
Speaker 2: It was just breeding.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what this must be right that if you
Speaker 1: grew up talking on the phone along, the etiquette is hello,
Speaker 1: you answer the phone hello, yeah, And if it's in
Speaker 1: a professional environment, hello, mamma, Mia for me. If it's
Speaker 1: a number I don't recognize, I usually don't pick up.
Speaker 1: But if I did pick up, I'd be like, hi,
Speaker 1: Holly speaking, because I assume it's like doctors or.
Speaker 3: You love privacy, you're just giving everyone all your details.
Speaker 2: Bank account here.
Speaker 1: But it would never occur to me not to say
Speaker 1: anything Class Stevens, where do you sit?
Speaker 4: Apparently one of the reasons that they don't do this,
Speaker 4: and it's actually what clever I guess, is that it's
Speaker 4: a thing that AI now if it is like a scam,
Speaker 4: they can call and if I say Hi, Clare speaking,
Speaker 4: they can then clone my voice and then they can
Speaker 4: call my relatives and ask for money, and which I'm like,
Speaker 4: I just don't live life that way.
Speaker 3: But that's happened to so many people, And actually had
Speaker 3: this happen to a friend. Some bot used her name
Speaker 3: in her voice to call her parents and spam her
Speaker 3: parents out of money.
Speaker 1: See, yeah, but do you think that's why or do
Speaker 1: you think it's just don't know how nes were?
Speaker 3: I don't think it's that. I think it's more like,
Speaker 3: if you are calling me, it's obviously a really urgent reason,
Speaker 3: so I assume you're going to just straight away start
Speaker 3: talking and be like this happened, just happened.
Speaker 1: This happened.
Speaker 3: You need to do this, so why would I waste
Speaker 3: time my saying hello?
Speaker 4: There was an amazing comment underneath this that was like,
Speaker 4: you have to understand that jen Z like grew up
Speaker 4: differently with like communication always on, And this person wrote,
Speaker 4: calling them is very demanding, a very serious form of
Speaker 4: communication that requires them to stop what they're doing and
Speaker 4: pay attention to you with only seconds of ringing to
Speaker 4: make the decision. I completely applaud their boundaries with communication
Speaker 4: and electronics. I'm like, oh my god, it's a phone call.
Speaker 4: This is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I assume something bad's happening. If nobody's speaking, I'll be like, hello.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, are you being held?
Speaker 1: Okay? I need to know out louders is this a
Speaker 1: thing people just pick it up the phone and not
Speaker 1: say it anything. You wanted to call me so badly?
Speaker 1: Come on?
Speaker 3: What do you have to say?
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 4: After the break, we've got our recommendations to get you
Speaker 4: through the weekend.
Speaker 1: Want unlimited out loud access? Can you drop episodes every
Speaker 1: Tuesday and Thursday exclusively for Mom and Mere subscribers? Follow
Speaker 1: the link in the show notes to get us in
Speaker 1: your ears five days a week and a huge thank
Speaker 1: you to all our current subscribers.
Speaker 6: Vibes ideas atmosphere, something casual, something fun.
Speaker 3: This is my best recommendation.
Speaker 4: It's Friday, so we want to help you set up
Speaker 4: your weekend with our best recommendations. M I need to
Speaker 4: know what I'm watching, doing eating this week.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I have something to watch. And I
Speaker 3: feel like now I only want to recommend TV shows
Speaker 3: to out loudest because I could go either way.
Speaker 1: People like your TV shows. A lot of people when
Speaker 1: they did what was the one you did?
Speaker 2: That?
Speaker 1: Were the Powers Around one? Before that, they didn't like, Oh.
Speaker 2: I watched that on your recommendation, that was so stressful.
Speaker 1: You're not responsible for the ending.
Speaker 2: No, I.
Speaker 3: Just enjoy the game. I play with this because I
Speaker 3: feel like it's a bit of a gable. And then
Speaker 3: I look in the at Ladder's group to see if
Speaker 3: they actually liked it or.
Speaker 1: Like she'n, I'm not gonna speak when she tells me
Speaker 1: about this show.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I do want to recommend a TV show.
Speaker 3: It's on Apple TV. It's just come out. It's called
Speaker 3: Claribus claribus.
Speaker 4: Pluris plora bus ploridis.
Speaker 1: It's called that thing.
Speaker 3: It's called that thing.
Speaker 1: What's it about? Because I've seen the ads, Okay, so
Speaker 1: they haven't paid any attention. I've just seen the name.
Speaker 3: It is the one show that I've been thinking about, like,
Speaker 3: it's the one show I'm holding on for the new
Speaker 3: episode every single week. It is about the world being
Speaker 3: hit with an extraterrestrial virus that is infecting everyone but
Speaker 3: eleven people in the world, and we're following one particular
Speaker 3: character named Carol, who's played by Riha Seahorn. You would
Speaker 3: know her from Better Call sal and she goes on
Speaker 3: a journey trying to fix it. She's like an author,
Speaker 3: so it's like really random people that's not affecting.
Speaker 6: Hey, girl, we just want you to be happy.
Speaker 2: Can I ask a question?
Speaker 3: Certainly? What would you like to know?
Speaker 1: How do I reverse all this?
Speaker 3: Rest assured Carol, we will figure out what makes you different,
Speaker 3: figure it out why, so you can join us.
Speaker 1: What the fu?
Speaker 3: I recommended this on The Spill as well, and I
Speaker 3: only watched episode one, and I thought it was like
Speaker 3: a horror show because I was so scared in the
Speaker 3: first episode because I thought it was going to be
Speaker 3: something like kind of like a Walking Dead zombie situation,
Speaker 3: and I can't say too much because I would just
Speaker 3: ruin everything the way these people are infected. But it
Speaker 3: is so clever, so creepy and so mysterious that you
Speaker 3: are just hooked to the TV this whole time. And
Speaker 3: it drops week to week, so it's a weekly drop
Speaker 3: and episodes drop every Friday. Four episodes will be out
Speaker 3: so far. But it is just so well done and
Speaker 3: I wish I could say more. So I need everyone
Speaker 3: to watch it. So is it the Last of Us?
Speaker 4: Because with both Walking Dead and The Last of Us,
Speaker 4: I had to stop because I went Zombie Apocalypse. It
Speaker 4: does get to a point where I'm like this is
Speaker 4: getting a little bit repetitive and that everyone's infected by
Speaker 4: zombie day.
Speaker 3: You say that about the last time, it's like a
Speaker 3: mass infection, but it's not like that, Okay, So that's
Speaker 3: why I found the episode one was like so scary
Speaker 3: because you don't actually know what's happening to these people,
Speaker 3: and then by episode two you figure it out, goes
Speaker 3: into like a dark comedy, like it becomes more like
Speaker 3: Suspend's like, oh my god, I can't wait to see
Speaker 3: what's happening next.
Speaker 1: But it's not scary, okay, so well called pluribus and
Speaker 1: it's on Apple TV, Apple TV.
Speaker 3: Claire, what's your reco?
Speaker 2: My reco is for all her fault on binge.
Speaker 3: Everyone's watching this.
Speaker 4: Oh, so it's got Sarah Snook. It's Nook right now, Yeah,
Speaker 4: Sarah Snook and Dakota Fanning. It is basically the story
Speaker 4: of a playdate gone wrong.
Speaker 2: So Marissa, played by Sarah.
Speaker 4: Snook, turns up at what she thinks is a school
Speaker 4: mom's place to pick up her child, and the school
Speaker 4: mum does not live there. It's somebody else. And she's like,
Speaker 4: I don't know who this woman is.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but your kids explains why.
Speaker 1: I've seen it described as like every parent's nightmare exactly.
Speaker 2: So her five year old is missing.
Speaker 3: Playing money by Sweetheart.
Speaker 1: Nine ninety percent of the time when a child goes missing,
Speaker 1: it's a misunderstanding between parents, grandparents and Nannie's.
Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Marissa, I'm here to figut my son Milo.
Speaker 3: There's no Milo here, but Milo has been missing for
Speaker 3: nearly five hours now. It's not a misunderstanding.
Speaker 2: I would say there are parts of it.
Speaker 4: I've been thinking a lot about how dialogue in TV shows.
Speaker 4: Right now, I'm really noticing it when it doesn't seem natural,
Speaker 4: and so it's an imperfect show. However, the thing I
Speaker 4: think it does the best and that's actually really fresh,
Speaker 4: is that there are these snippets that perfectly show the
Speaker 4: frustrations of raising a child in a heterosexual relationship where
Speaker 4: the mental load always falls to the woman, no matter
Speaker 4: how big her job is or how much she has
Speaker 4: going on. And it's about the fact that when something
Speaker 4: does go wrong, the woman gets blamed for like the
Speaker 4: fact that your child, Yeah, why weren't you with them?
Speaker 4: Why didn't you check this? Why didn't you check the
Speaker 4: phone number that messaged you? All this stuff? And it's
Speaker 4: like you're looking at the man thinking you weren't responsible
Speaker 4: for any of it. So it's very easy for you
Speaker 4: to judge me.
Speaker 1: Is it set Obviously Satus is Australia, but is it
Speaker 1: set in Australia, England.
Speaker 2: America, America. There's a city in it.
Speaker 4: I can't work out what city it's set in, but
Speaker 4: kind of generic like city in America. But there are
Speaker 4: these snippets. People are probably seen clips of it going
Speaker 4: viral online. There's a great scene with Jenny played by
Speaker 4: Dakota Fanning, where she just goes on this rant about
Speaker 4: how when she has spare time, it's used to book
Speaker 4: doctor's appointments, or to clean, or to cook, or to
Speaker 4: organize her child's stuff. And when her husband has spare time,
Speaker 4: he can go to the gym watch a football game.
Speaker 4: Like it's just the idea of spare time. All leisure
Speaker 4: time does not exist when you're a working mum. So
Speaker 4: that's what I love about it, that there is that
Speaker 4: idea of women getting blamed when the fight. Yes, you're
Speaker 4: trying to juggle a million ball, so really gets the
Speaker 4: frustration and guilt of working motherhood.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I want to watch it. I've got
Speaker 1: a beauty recommendation and I am recommending we have a prop.
Speaker 1: We have a prop because I had to show you
Speaker 1: how squeezed out it is, right, like this is the
Speaker 1: real deal. And also because I can never remember what
Speaker 1: it's called, but it's called and I wrote it down
Speaker 1: so i'd pronounce it correctly because it's ombriolis lake crem concentret. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a moisture. But this is one of those products,
Speaker 1: right that it's called a cult product. It's a French
Speaker 1: pharmacy product. It's always in cool people's handbags. Makeup artists
Speaker 1: always have it. But actually it costs less than forty
Speaker 1: bucks and you can get it it can you to
Speaker 1: work out price line or wherever you want to get
Speaker 1: it from. It's great, right, So this little tube I got,
Speaker 1: the little one, keep it in my makeup bag and
Speaker 1: it saves my life all the time because it is
Speaker 1: a moisturizer and it's really beautiful, and it's the reason
Speaker 1: it's always in a makeup artist's bag, and that's the
Speaker 1: first place I saw it when we're getting done for
Speaker 1: like a shoot for out Loud or whatever. Is because
Speaker 1: they say it's the best under makeup. It's like a primer.
Speaker 1: So it's a moisturizer, a beautiful, rich moisturizer, but it's
Speaker 1: also a primer. It also works really well for taking
Speaker 1: makeup off. It's a multi use product. They say it's
Speaker 1: also really good after shaving if you're shaving your skin
Speaker 1: and you want to use it for that. And I
Speaker 1: pull it out of my bag. I reckon four times
Speaker 1: a day. I'm often on the road, as you know,
Speaker 1: like coming up and down from where I live, and
Speaker 1: so I'll be like putting it on in the car
Speaker 1: before I put my makeup on, or I just feel
Speaker 1: like it's been ages since I've moisturizer. You put it on,
Speaker 1: put it on my head if they're too dry, use
Speaker 1: it to take off my eyeline like.
Speaker 3: It's I love products like that.
Speaker 1: It's a multi product and you feel cool because it
Speaker 1: seems like a trendy French thing. But it's not expensive,
Speaker 1: so you can buy it and heaps of places. It
Speaker 1: ranges between about twenty bucks for this size to forty
Speaker 1: bucks for a full size, and it's often on special
Speaker 1: and it's really good. So that is my tip.
Speaker 3: I need to buy there right now.
Speaker 1: It's called Ombre.
Speaker 2: You do look very gay and hydrated and French. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it turns you French. That's the room, that's the rumor.
Speaker 1: It's turned me cooler along with my midlife Truckstan. Thank
Speaker 1: you out louders for being here with us today and
Speaker 1: being with us all week. And to you Claire Stephens
Speaker 1: for filling in for your sister Jesse. It's been so
Speaker 1: nice to have you back in the chair.
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3: Guys.
Speaker 1: Remember you can watch us on YouTube if you want
Speaker 1: to see that meme that we were talking about that
Speaker 1: Clare's in or you want to see my excellent screen
Speaker 1: statube or just EM's.
Speaker 3: Gloriousness still not wearing a rap always there.
Speaker 1: You told Claire about our book club that she's not
Speaker 1: a part of. Sorry, I feel like author Clas Stevens,
Speaker 1: we didn't invite.
Speaker 4: You, well, virtually part of it. I'm following along. I
Speaker 4: know what book you're doing.
Speaker 1: Have you read it? You read?
Speaker 3: Of course, I want to know your thoughts immediately. But
Speaker 3: we are doing a book club. It's all thanks to
Speaker 3: Royal Caribbean and our first book is All Fours by
Speaker 3: Miranda July. It comes out on the thirtieth of November,
Speaker 3: so you have a week in a bit to get
Speaker 3: the book read. If you haven't me.
Speaker 1: We will soon be telling you what the next one
Speaker 1: is going to be, and you'll have a month in
Speaker 1: between our episode about All Fours to read the next one. Now,
Speaker 1: what's been really interesting is that out louders have had,
Speaker 1: like the world did, a lot of really different opinions
Speaker 1: about All Fours. It's one of those books. Some people
Speaker 1: love it, some people are like it drove me crazy.
Speaker 1: But those are the best books to discuss in a
Speaker 1: book club, So come for it. Read along, come and
Speaker 1: share your thoughts with us. We cannot wait. Claire read
Speaker 1: us out.
Speaker 3: A big, big, big thank you to our team, A
Speaker 3: Group executive producer Ruth Devine and our executive producer Sasha Tanic.
Speaker 4: Our senior audio producer is Leah Porge's, our video producer
Speaker 4: is Josh Green, and our junior content producer is Tessa Kodovic.
Speaker 4: Out Louders if you're looking for something else to listen to.
Speaker 4: On yesterday's Subscribe episode, we talked about things that are
Speaker 4: embarrassing but shouldn't be, and we squirreled away and wrote
Speaker 4: never ending lists.
Speaker 3: I just pretty much wrote all.
Speaker 4: Mysa, and we need to know what yours are. We
Speaker 4: need to know if you agree with ours. There's a
Speaker 4: link to subscribe in the show notes.
Speaker 1: Bye bye bye.
Speaker 3: Mamma. May acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on
Speaker 3: which we have recorded this podcast.