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Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm Other Mere podcast. I got a tattoo.

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Speaker 1: Do you like it?

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Speaker 2: I'm obsessed?

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Speaker 3: It's really Do you have a name for it?

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Speaker 1: Well, it's a bee that but Beyonce queen Bee.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's what you were doing.

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Speaker 3: No, she's so cute.

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Speaker 1: This is my first ever tattoo. Well at fifty.

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Speaker 3: Three, do you feel like you're cooler than the both

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Speaker 3: of us?

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Speaker 1: Definitely? Do not have any tattoos. So you're you, in particular, Emma,

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Speaker 1: unusual for your generation.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I've been told I have the personality of someone

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Speaker 3: with tattoos. Y.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I thank you to.

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Speaker 1: Have a people get to because a lot of the

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Speaker 1: young women around the office have lots of tiny, interesting tattoos,

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Speaker 1: and I always want to ask them. And I was

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Speaker 1: always too scared or not keen enough to know what

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Speaker 1: I wanted. And then when I got this last weekend,

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Speaker 1: I posted I should do obviously, I posted, and I said,

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Speaker 1: is getting your first to fifty three a sign of

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Speaker 1: confidence or crisis? Or do you too think confidence? No?

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Speaker 4: Sorry, sorry, it depends. If you've got to sleeve, i'd

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Speaker 4: say crisis. If you've got a face tattoo, I'd say crisis,

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Speaker 4: but that is confidence.

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Speaker 3: I think it depends like how you get the tattoo,

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Speaker 3: Like if you're on holiday with friends, which I was confidence,

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Speaker 3: but I would also planned it so well.

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Speaker 1: I was on holiday with friends, so I wasn't just like, oh,

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Speaker 1: how to margaritea No, I think that's confidence. If you

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Speaker 1: were like, I'm just going to duck out for lunch

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Speaker 1: and when you.

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Speaker 3: Come back with tattoo, would be like.

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Speaker 2: Something's going on you well today?

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Speaker 1: So my bee? Do you want to know what it means?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Please?

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Speaker 1: Here's another question, etiquate question. Can you ask people what

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Speaker 1: the tattoos mean?

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Speaker 3: Is that all right? I think people just love talking

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Speaker 3: about it in general. Yes, you don't need to ask.

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Speaker 4: I think if you have something permanently marked on your skin,

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Speaker 4: you want to talk about it. It is always awkward

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Speaker 4: when someone's got a date and you're like, what does

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Speaker 4: that mean that it's the day myself die?

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Speaker 1: Exactly.

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Speaker 3: I do have a question about the bee though, did

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Speaker 3: you really want a bee and then try to find

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Speaker 3: a meaning After fact?

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Speaker 1: I wanted a tattoo and I was like what would

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Speaker 1: I get? And I wanted a bee because the bee

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Speaker 1: is the symbol of Manchester, which is my hometown. The

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Speaker 1: reason for that is because it's a worker bee, which

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Speaker 1: this is not, by the way, but the symbol of

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Speaker 1: Manchester's a worker bee because it's the birthplace of the

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Speaker 1: Industrial Revolution and it's like we're as stronger together as

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Speaker 1: a hive and work work, work, work, work, right, So

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Speaker 1: what be is that this is just a bumble the

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Speaker 1: ceuta one cuter one. It's a symbol of Manchester, which

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Speaker 1: is my hometown. It's also the queen of the garden

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Speaker 1: pollinating is a gardening superpower my nature and be for

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Speaker 1: Billy Bee for Brint. So there you go, and Matilda

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Speaker 1: she misses out and we'll work around that because I'm

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Speaker 1: sure that tattoos are addictive. Everybody says so, so I'm

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Speaker 1: off maybe all the insects, all the insects, a little

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Speaker 1: swarm on my arm. Anyway, I'm very excited.

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Speaker 3: I like it.

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Speaker 1: Thanks. Welcome to Mamma Mia out loud. It's what women

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Speaker 1: are actually talking about on Friday, the twenty first of November.

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Speaker 1: My name is Holly Wayne Wright, my name.

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Speaker 2: Is m Vernon and I'm cles Stevens.

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Speaker 1: Filling in for our Jesse. Here's what's on our agenda

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Speaker 1: for today. It's Friday, just do things. We are talking

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Speaker 1: about the trend towards underthinking instead of overthinking.

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Speaker 4: Plus, I've had a very humbling experience on the internet,

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Speaker 4: and we're going to unpack it.

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Speaker 1: I cannot wait to unpack that.

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Speaker 3: And there are new platforms to find dating, to find love,

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Speaker 3: to find intimacy, and it's not the dating apps. Oh

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Speaker 3: my god.

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Speaker 1: I have so much to say about this, But first,

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Speaker 1: Clere Stevens, Guys, I've become a mean explain, explain.

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Speaker 4: It feels inevitable that I was always going to become

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Speaker 4: a meme.

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Speaker 3: This is big Friday energy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it really is.

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Speaker 4: It's like I have a dilemma. So this one is everywhere.

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Speaker 4: What happened is over the last several months, I have

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Speaker 4: just had messages on all the platforms from family and

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Speaker 4: friends and acquaintances and vitally out loudest who are telling me, hey,

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Speaker 4: there's this viral video millions and millions of views, and

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Speaker 4: I think it's a photo of you.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god. And it is also the scariest message

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Speaker 3: to ever get.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know, Oh oh that's me, that is me.

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Speaker 1: Are we going to play the video for the people

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Speaker 1: watching on YouTube.

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Speaker 2: Yes we should, so yeah.

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Speaker 1: Another reason to watch this on YouTube if you're not

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Speaker 1: is that you can see this. But obviously also we'll

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Speaker 1: put it on socials.

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Speaker 4: So it starts with a photo of a kindergarten child

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Speaker 4: with terrible hair, really really bad hair, crooked tea just

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Speaker 4: still cute though, wonky jaw and glasses.

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Speaker 1: She's just full of potential. Yeah, full of potential, that.

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Speaker 2: Little that child is me. That child is me.

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Speaker 4: Spoiler alert, it's me, And the text over it says

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Speaker 4: to the guy who called me four eyes in elementary.

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Speaker 4: Then it flicks to a photo of this very sexy

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Speaker 4: woman in Laingere and it says, look at me now,

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Speaker 4: But the.

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Speaker 1: Woman isn't you.

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Speaker 2: The woman in lingerie is not confused those.

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Speaker 1: Of us who aren't entirely literate and me, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not me.

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Speaker 4: The joke is that while the child with the glasses

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Speaker 4: is me and is Caucasian, the woman in the laundree

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Speaker 4: is black, so the childhood photo is clearly not her.

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Speaker 4: And there's the original video that the woman's made that's

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Speaker 4: gone crazy crazy viral. Then there's a secondary video of

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Speaker 4: the original video, and then a guy has stitched it

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Speaker 4: with a confused expression, and then that went even more viral.

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Speaker 4: So I've had beautiful out louders reach out to see

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Speaker 4: if I'm okay, and to say because.

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Speaker 1: In some ways you've been used as like a before,

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Speaker 1: not not in some ways before, but like not even

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Speaker 1: using you as the after.

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Speaker 2: I'm not the after.

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Speaker 1: Okay, No, are you okay?

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Speaker 4: I am absolutely okay, and I'm okay because I do

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Speaker 4: think it is genuinely objectively hilarious, like props to that woman,

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Speaker 4: props to the man, like if you're going to make

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Speaker 4: funny content, I'm so happy to be a part of it.

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Speaker 1: I have questions. Yes, am I allowed to do that?

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Speaker 1: Ords you'll have me to hold them well.

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Speaker 4: I thought I would share the context of why that

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Speaker 4: photo is on the internet in the first play, because

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Speaker 4: I think that's crucial, because I think it could be

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Speaker 4: mean if somebody had, I don't know, gone through digital

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Speaker 4: archives from my primary school and found my photo and

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Speaker 4: thought that kid's ugly.

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Speaker 2: I'll make a joke about that, but the photo exists.

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Speaker 1: It's still mean, But the photo.

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Speaker 4: Exists on the internet because I wrote an article years

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Speaker 4: ago about the untold benefits of being an ugly child,

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Speaker 4: and I used that photo as the feature image, and

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Speaker 4: it was all about how you're routinely underestimated, you develop hobbies,

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Speaker 4: you learn very young that life isn't fair, and so on.

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Speaker 4: So I'm not offended because I was making fun of

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Speaker 4: myself in the first instance.

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Speaker 3: And if you use the words ugly child, that would

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Speaker 3: have done really well for SEO.

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Speaker 1: It's so well so not that we know this for sure,

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Speaker 1: but there's a possibility that the content creator who made that,

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Speaker 1: who wanted to make this very funny gag and is

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Speaker 1: a very funny gag because it's clearly not her, etcetera.

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Speaker 1: If she'd have googled ugly child. There's a chance that

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Speaker 1: of all the ugly children on the internet who came

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Speaker 1: up you with the word.

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Speaker 4: She was like, Mmm, no, that kid's your cud, that

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Speaker 4: kid's your kid. Oh, that one's ugly, that one's hideous,

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Speaker 4: And it was my little face being like hello.

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Speaker 1: But a generous read is as em says, although ugly

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Speaker 1: child's good freshio, it also suggests that you were in

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Speaker 1: on the whole thing. So like taking that image as

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Speaker 1: the before feels a little less mean.

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Speaker 3: Can had the article yeah, giving you a page view.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you could have been like.

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Speaker 3: Oh, she gets it, she knows she won't be offended exactly.

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Speaker 1: So I have a lot of questions about this, right.

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Speaker 1: So first of all, just finding out one day that

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Speaker 1: you are a meme. So any image of you like

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Speaker 1: this one obviously is of you as a child, but

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Speaker 1: it could be any image of you, not necessarily you Claire,

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Speaker 1: but like drunk at the races or doing something cringey

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Speaker 1: or whatever, could be a meme at any time. So

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Speaker 1: for a start, we all need to live on hilert

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Speaker 1: about that situation, because it's not like someone asked you permission. No,

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Speaker 1: And if you were upset, although you could obviously tell

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Speaker 1: her and say, hey, stop calling seven year old me

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Speaker 1: ugly or whatever, four year old me ugly, she doesn't

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Speaker 1: have any need to do that. No, So you have

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Speaker 1: no power in this situation. So choosing for it not

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Speaker 1: to upset you is the correct and mature thing to do.

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Speaker 1: What I want to know, though, when you look at

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Speaker 1: that picture of yourself in that context, do you feel

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Speaker 1: sorry for her?

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Speaker 4: I think it might not be a good thing. But

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Speaker 4: when I look at a pickture of that girl.

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Speaker 2: I don't really see myself I don't.

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Speaker 4: I think there's a bit of distance or I think

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Speaker 4: it's this and I think I credit my mum with this.

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Speaker 4: When I look at that girl, I don't value her

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Speaker 4: for her appearance, you know, Like, I'm like, that was

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Speaker 4: not what was important to me then, clearly what was

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Speaker 4: important to my mother clearly, and so I because it

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Speaker 4: wasn't something I valued then, and it's not something I

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Speaker 4: value in children, and it's not something I've ever valued

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Speaker 4: myself for.

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Speaker 1: I think though that actually, and as evidenced by the

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Speaker 1: title of that story that you wrote about it, I

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Speaker 1: think that actually being I'm not going to say ugly,

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Speaker 1: because that's an ugly will to use about children, and

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Speaker 1: only you are allowed to use it about yourself. But

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Speaker 1: let's say awkward, yeah, uncool, whatever we want to call it.

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Speaker 1: Kid is probably quite a big part of your personality

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Speaker 1: and a big part of your story that you tell

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Speaker 1: yourself right like about your life is like, I was

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Speaker 1: not a cool kid. Yes, I was ador cooky, dorky

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Speaker 1: kid who people were sometimes mean to you no idea

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Speaker 1: what And it probably has been a You are a

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Speaker 1: very successful adult who is very glamorous. In the pages

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Speaker 1: of Stellar magazine, I just say, like, it's probably part

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Speaker 1: of your engine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Like, looking at that kid, I'm like, I genuinely do think,

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Speaker 4: especially as a woman, that there is a benefit to

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Speaker 4: having experienced that really formative part of your life being

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Speaker 4: funny looking where you weren't valued for that, and I'm

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Speaker 4: grateful for that. I think it makes aging easier. I

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Speaker 4: think it makes so many things easier because I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I'm not grieving something that I had because it was

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Speaker 4: never what I valued myself for.

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Speaker 2: So I look.

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Speaker 4: At that as something I'm.

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Speaker 2: Really grateful for. With that said, I did think if

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Speaker 2: that was a picture of my daughter, I would be hard.

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Speaker 1: I would also be furious. Yeah, I'm quite defensive about

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Speaker 1: your young self in this situation. Yes, And I don't

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Speaker 1: want to write a strongly worded letter to the internet

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Speaker 1: about it. But we're always told now, particularly with girls,

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Speaker 1: not to praise them for their appearance from the time

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Speaker 1: they're little, but everybody does, oh, you're so cute. Oh

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Speaker 1: you're so cute. Oh my god, you're so cute. And

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Speaker 1: whenever we see a picture of a friend's baby, whenever

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Speaker 1: we see a friend's little child, we do talk about

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Speaker 1: what they look like, and we should you know. We're

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Speaker 1: all learning to like unpick those things, but it's so

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Speaker 1: deep in our culture. The King's cute and kids are

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Speaker 1: cute and beautiful to somebody all the time, et cetera,

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Speaker 1: blah blah. But it's like, I feel like that would

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Speaker 1: be really mean. If that was your kid, you'd go

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Speaker 1: and punch that person. Who knows.

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Speaker 2: And if that was you, if that had been a

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Speaker 2: photo of you, howard you feel.

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Speaker 1: I'd feel deeply upset.

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Speaker 3: I'd cry. Probably. I feel like I've talked about myself

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Speaker 3: like my younger self in like a self deprecating way,

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Speaker 3: but it also feels like that's something only I can do.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of like when you're complaining to your friends,

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Speaker 3: You're like, go, my sister's being such a bitch, But

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Speaker 3: if someone else goes your sister's a bitch, I'm like, whoa, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's only something I can do. And I struggle actually

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Speaker 3: separating myself from my younger self. I remember I wrote

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Speaker 3: an article probably a year ago and like things I

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Speaker 3: wish I knew before turning twenty, I struggled doing that

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Speaker 3: because I still see myself as a five year old

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Speaker 3: the same way I see myself as a twenty nine

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Speaker 3: year old. I didn't see that as a separate person.

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Speaker 3: Like if that was me and I saw that photo myself,

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Speaker 3: all I'm thinking about is me now, Like I can't

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Speaker 3: see her as a young girl. I just see the

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Speaker 3: same person.

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Speaker 1: You know, all those memes on the internet about this

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Speaker 1: is what Kylie Jenner used to look like, like not

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Speaker 1: wanting to be Yeah, but this is this is a

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Speaker 1: very common internet thing, right, look at this unflattering picture

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Speaker 1: of celebrity, and it could be Kylie Jenner, it could

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Speaker 1: be Chloe kardash Those two seem to get that a

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Speaker 1: lot because they've kind of deliberately, through all kinds of

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Speaker 1: different means, transformed themselves to be as far away from

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Speaker 1: that person as they could be. Right, So again, maybe

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Speaker 1: that's part of their engine, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I was mocked, I was dissed. I was called the

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Speaker 1: uncoll one, the ugly one. Whatever. I'll show you. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to become the hottest woman in the world and

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Speaker 1: go out with Timothy fucking challow May and you can

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Speaker 1: come for me. I wonder if in another person it

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Speaker 1: could crush your confidence to the point that you can

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Speaker 1: never recover. So it's really hard, which is why it's

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Speaker 1: difficult to know how to feel about laughing about your meme. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like it is funny, but it's also could be

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Speaker 1: really crushing, and like I think.

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Speaker 4: It's also she said to the guy who called me

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Speaker 4: four eyes, and it's like, so really, the only joke

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Speaker 4: she's making is it's this funny looking kid with glasses.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure it would be so different if there was

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Speaker 4: like a serious physical deformity or you know, there's a

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Speaker 4: million different ways that it could actually be something about

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Speaker 4: you that hasn't changed or that you can't change.

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Speaker 2: Whereas I look.

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Speaker 4: At that and think, yeah, five year old with crooked

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Speaker 4: glasses and half missing teeth and a bad haircut, like

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Speaker 4: they're all things theoretically that you grow out of, So

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Speaker 4: it feels very different.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, if it was something innately about me.

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Speaker 3: But it's also it's also the confidence of like like

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Speaker 3: being that woman who's on the quote unquote after and

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Speaker 3: she is like a stunning person, like.

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Speaker 2: Beautiful in her sexy linger.

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Speaker 3: I'm like yeah, but I'm like I can't even like

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Speaker 3: fathom ever doing like a video like that of going

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Speaker 3: look at me.

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Speaker 2: Now, Yeah, that's so mean.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if they're like, yeah, and what is that? Why

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Speaker 1: there isn't a part of you that's tempted to make

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Speaker 1: your own video or with that picture. Yeah, I'm just

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Speaker 1: picturing that you could get that picture and then you

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Speaker 1: could do, you know, really glamorous publicity shot of yourself

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Speaker 1: where you're looking really gorgeous and you could be like,

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Speaker 1: look at me now. But you would never do that. No, No,

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Speaker 1: you would die and because it would be would be

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Speaker 1: so off rand for you, and it would also.

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Speaker 4: Be implying that like someone's more valuable because they no

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Speaker 4: longer look like that. Like, I don't know, it would

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Speaker 4: feel the same person, Yeah, I'm the same person. But yeah,

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Speaker 4: I do think that there's something about like I feel

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Speaker 4: a lot of compassion for that little girl.

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Speaker 2: I don't feel shame, and I feel.

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Speaker 1: No shame, And you feel respect for the content creator

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Speaker 1: because you remire her. Comedy chops.

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Speaker 2: Yes, if it wasn't funny, it might be different.

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Speaker 3: There is a fairly new piece of advice that's going

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Speaker 3: around the internet, and it is everything is a dating

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Speaker 3: app if you try hard enough, like what so. GQ

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Speaker 3: has reported that dating apps have experienced a drop in

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Speaker 3: active users in the past few years, and there's been

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Speaker 3: a rise in people connecting intimately on other platforms that

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Speaker 3: has absolutely nothing to do with dating. The number one

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Speaker 3: platform apparently to flirt is LinkedIn LinkedIn linked and I

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Speaker 3: have to say I'm on board with this.

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Speaker 1: LinkedIn is for your work. In my mind mind, I

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Speaker 1: don't use it much. But do you have one?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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00:16:20,954 --> 00:16:23,274
Speaker 1: I do have one, but it's quite out of date.

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Speaker 1: And when I needed to go and see if it

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Speaker 1: was in fact a dating app these days, I realized, Shit,

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Speaker 1: I better lift my gamers. I'm hoping to find my

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00:16:29,354 --> 00:16:34,034
Speaker 1: next elderly boyfriend on is one of the reasons for

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Speaker 1: this that there's a better gender balance because you famously,

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Speaker 1: I tell people this all the time. By the way,

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Speaker 1: you famously have a decree that any man who's on

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Speaker 1: Instagram who doesn't need it for professional purposes is a

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Speaker 1: red flag. And I'm always telling people that because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that's harsh. She's harsh, but she knows shit. So as

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Speaker 1: long as it's.

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Speaker 3: Like my caveat there is like, as long as they're

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Speaker 3: Instagram is on private. If you have a public man

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Speaker 3: who has a public Instagram.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, that's right. Yeah, so you have a

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Speaker 1: problem with that. So instagram skews more female LinkedIn, I

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Speaker 1: imagine the gender split is more. Even so if you

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Speaker 1: are looking for a heterosexual partner, a partner of sex,

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Speaker 1: it's maybe more fertile hunting ground.

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Speaker 3: It's more.

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Speaker 1: I think it's and you know they have a job.

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Speaker 3: You know they have a job. And I think it's

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Speaker 3: seemingly more men because men are louder on LinkedIn about

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Speaker 3: like what they're doing and how they're winning awards and

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Speaker 3: how they impress their boss and they got to pay rise.

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Speaker 1: But also your award, you won an award or again LinkedIn.

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Speaker 3: I did it in a really cool way.

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00:17:31,434 --> 00:17:33,194
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was going to say I liked it. I

365
00:17:33,234 --> 00:17:34,994
Speaker 4: didn't know if it was you or Mum Mayer.

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Speaker 2: Who posted it.

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Speaker 3: Mum and Mea did a post. But when I got

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Speaker 3: the award, the people who are presenting the award posted

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Speaker 3: all the winners and I just reposted.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so thought that's how you do it, Like I'm

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Speaker 2: award winning. What can I say?

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00:17:46,554 --> 00:17:48,833
Speaker 3: But it's easier to find people on LinkedIn because there

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Speaker 3: was this period in time, and I think it was

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Speaker 3: around the twenty eighteen mark where LinkedIn became a thing,

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Speaker 3: and everyone was like, I need to make a LinkedIn

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Speaker 3: this is how I'm going to get the best job

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00:17:56,794 --> 00:17:59,554
Speaker 3: of my life. So everyone has a LinkedIn profile, whether

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Speaker 3: you use it or not, and all of these profiles

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00:18:02,154 --> 00:18:05,874
Speaker 3: are generally public. So when you're meeting someone, or even

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Speaker 3: if you're just sitting next to someone on the number

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Speaker 3: one conversation you have with people is.

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00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,154
Speaker 1: Always what do you do for work?

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Speaker 3: So all you need to do is know someone's first name, generally,

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Speaker 3: what they do for work, and the city they're in. So, Holly,

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Speaker 3: you haven't used LinkedIn in ages? I typed in Holly

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Speaker 3: author Sydney, You're the first one that came out right.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask you just an adjacent question? It might

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00:18:26,914 --> 00:18:29,914
Speaker 1: be a rabbit hole. Some people are very anti asking

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00:18:29,994 --> 00:18:33,513
Speaker 1: people straight up what they do for work, but I

390
00:18:33,554 --> 00:18:36,354
Speaker 1: feel like it's a really it's a question that tells

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00:18:36,354 --> 00:18:39,034
Speaker 1: you a lot about people. Right Where do you stand

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Speaker 1: on that in the dating context?

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Speaker 3: I'm a big fan of asking people what they do

394
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Speaker 3: for work because I'm I like my work and I

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Speaker 3: want to tell them about my work. So you have

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00:18:47,674 --> 00:18:48,273
Speaker 3: to do a bit of it.

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Speaker 1: And if they were kind of like, who cares what

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Speaker 1: I do for work in it's all about what's on

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Speaker 1: the inside.

400
00:18:52,194 --> 00:18:57,513
Speaker 3: Yeah, be like oh unemployed, Okay, got it, got it?

401
00:18:57,714 --> 00:18:58,914
Speaker 1: Please continue? Got it.

402
00:18:59,154 --> 00:19:02,793
Speaker 3: So what I found with LinkedIn is that men are

403
00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:05,674
Speaker 3: doing dating apps completely wrong because every time I find

404
00:19:05,714 --> 00:19:07,474
Speaker 3: a man on LinkedIn, which is the platform are most

405
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,553
Speaker 3: likely to find them on, because they always have a

406
00:19:09,554 --> 00:19:12,354
Speaker 3: bit about their job and their dating profile. They always

407
00:19:12,434 --> 00:19:14,594
Speaker 3: look so much better on LinkedIn than they do in

408
00:19:14,634 --> 00:19:15,394
Speaker 3: their dating apps.

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Speaker 1: So does that tell us that they're more invested in

410
00:19:17,874 --> 00:19:20,674
Speaker 1: presenting a good face for work than Yeah.

411
00:19:20,394 --> 00:19:22,794
Speaker 4: It's just that they're so I feel like on dating

412
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:25,194
Speaker 4: apps on social media, they'll often have a group photo

413
00:19:25,474 --> 00:19:27,434
Speaker 4: and it's like, no, no, no, I need a professional headshot

414
00:19:27,794 --> 00:19:28,994
Speaker 4: to just see.

415
00:19:28,754 --> 00:19:31,954
Speaker 3: It's always blurry ye in the dark, and they.

416
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:32,714
Speaker 1: Look good in a suit.

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00:19:32,794 --> 00:19:36,194
Speaker 3: They look because I want to get their headshot. They're like,

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00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:37,874
Speaker 3: this is my one opportunity to get a photo because

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00:19:37,874 --> 00:19:41,074
Speaker 3: people don't photograph men, and I'm very against that. I

420
00:19:41,074 --> 00:19:42,874
Speaker 3: think we needed to take photos of men more often.

421
00:19:43,434 --> 00:19:44,474
Speaker 3: That's so true.

422
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Speaker 1: So it's a dating app. If you are looking for

423
00:19:48,194 --> 00:19:50,354
Speaker 1: a corporate dude, you're not going.

424
00:19:50,194 --> 00:19:52,794
Speaker 3: To find My trad is on LinkedIn.

425
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,114
Speaker 1: Time I've been spending on LinkedIn lately.

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Speaker 3: I think it's more socially acceptable to d m someone

427
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:01,234
Speaker 3: on LinkedIn because everyone's doing it.

428
00:20:01,314 --> 00:20:03,313
Speaker 1: What would be a good starting line on LinkedIn?

429
00:20:04,154 --> 00:20:06,954
Speaker 3: Be like, hey, John, I'm really interested in your line

430
00:20:06,954 --> 00:20:08,634
Speaker 3: of would love to grab a coffee with you to

431
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:09,394
Speaker 3: learn more about it.

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Speaker 4: I went through my LinkedIn because I was like, have

433
00:20:13,514 --> 00:20:16,394
Speaker 4: I been missing? But this is a dating platform, and

434
00:20:16,434 --> 00:20:19,154
Speaker 4: so I looked at some of my messages and there

435
00:20:19,154 --> 00:20:20,714
Speaker 4: were semesters from men.

436
00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:26,194
Speaker 1: So did you use the picture of yourself as a kidna?

437
00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:26,914
Speaker 1: I should?

438
00:20:26,954 --> 00:20:29,914
Speaker 4: Actually that would make sure I never have the future employment.

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00:20:30,474 --> 00:20:34,594
Speaker 4: So message from Kelvin greetings Claire, may the work of

440
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:39,273
Speaker 4: your hands be blessed, then a link to his website.

441
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,714
Speaker 2: Do you think he was hitting on me? I don't

442
00:20:41,714 --> 00:20:45,154
Speaker 2: think so, just hitting on your hands like the work

443
00:20:45,194 --> 00:20:45,714
Speaker 2: of my hand.

444
00:20:45,754 --> 00:20:48,154
Speaker 4: I don't really work with my hands. They're not calloused

445
00:20:48,154 --> 00:20:52,194
Speaker 4: at all. Ben Tamim said, hello, ma'am, And I thought

446
00:20:52,234 --> 00:20:52,874
Speaker 4: that was quiet.

447
00:20:53,874 --> 00:20:54,554
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

448
00:20:54,594 --> 00:20:57,034
Speaker 4: I've got lots of messages from people being like, if

449
00:20:57,074 --> 00:20:59,353
Speaker 4: you work in podcasting, I can, and I think you're

450
00:20:59,354 --> 00:20:59,714
Speaker 4: a bot.

451
00:20:59,994 --> 00:21:02,314
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not completely certain.

452
00:21:02,154 --> 00:21:04,194
Speaker 4: Some of them are though there are a lot of bots,

453
00:21:04,434 --> 00:21:08,514
Speaker 4: but I don't think people are their best selves on LinkedIn.

454
00:21:08,954 --> 00:21:15,033
Speaker 4: I describe it the LinkedIn environment as people just wanking quickly.

455
00:21:15,434 --> 00:21:17,994
Speaker 2: Yes, I think that's what they're doing.

456
00:21:17,754 --> 00:21:20,434
Speaker 1: And they're showing you off their things. Oh my thing.

457
00:21:20,994 --> 00:21:22,634
Speaker 2: I think it's so creamy.

458
00:21:22,674 --> 00:21:25,794
Speaker 3: But you have to play the game to get game. Yeah.

459
00:21:25,954 --> 00:21:28,394
Speaker 1: I get M's position, but that's just because of the

460
00:21:28,514 --> 00:21:30,554
Speaker 1: kind of person you are, and you're like me, it's

461
00:21:30,554 --> 00:21:33,154
Speaker 1: our mother's that's what you think.

462
00:21:33,194 --> 00:21:34,074
Speaker 2: You think you're good.

463
00:21:34,514 --> 00:21:36,634
Speaker 1: You think there's something good about you. Do you think

464
00:21:36,634 --> 00:21:40,074
Speaker 1: there's something special about you? Stop showing up. So this

465
00:21:40,194 --> 00:21:42,434
Speaker 1: is different because M doesn't have a mother like that.

466
00:21:42,514 --> 00:21:45,394
Speaker 2: But EM isn't doing overly earnest posts on LinkedIn.

467
00:21:45,634 --> 00:21:46,114
Speaker 1: She's fine.

468
00:21:46,354 --> 00:21:47,674
Speaker 3: You just an'll have to be cool. You have to

469
00:21:47,714 --> 00:21:48,194
Speaker 3: be yourself.

470
00:21:48,314 --> 00:21:51,674
Speaker 1: I've also heard that some of the other surprising platforms

471
00:21:51,954 --> 00:21:54,314
Speaker 1: like Strava. Isn't Strava just for bike riding.

472
00:21:54,754 --> 00:21:57,594
Speaker 3: Strava good one because it's running and it's like a

473
00:21:57,674 --> 00:22:01,394
Speaker 3: social you post like your root and I'm not a runner.

474
00:22:01,474 --> 00:22:02,954
Speaker 3: I don't you Strava. I don't even know what the

475
00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:05,554
Speaker 3: app's called really to download it, but you post a

476
00:22:05,634 --> 00:22:08,234
Speaker 3: running route and then you can people and then they

477
00:22:08,274 --> 00:22:10,714
Speaker 3: can like favorite your roots and then I think that's

478
00:22:10,754 --> 00:22:14,234
Speaker 3: also how people like make running clubs because they all

479
00:22:14,314 --> 00:22:16,273
Speaker 3: do the run club together. So if you see a

480
00:22:16,314 --> 00:22:18,474
Speaker 3: cute guy in your run club but you're like, oh,

481
00:22:18,474 --> 00:22:20,634
Speaker 3: I don't feel like talking to you, then you just

482
00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:22,793
Speaker 3: see if he's also connected to the running route that

483
00:22:22,794 --> 00:22:23,513
Speaker 3: you did that morning.

484
00:22:23,514 --> 00:22:25,514
Speaker 1: And also you can just stalk him and work out

485
00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:28,434
Speaker 1: that it's six am dawn culture, he's going to be

486
00:22:28,474 --> 00:22:31,434
Speaker 1: pounding his way around the park run after him home

487
00:22:31,594 --> 00:22:34,314
Speaker 1: in a Bridget Jones. You just have to be there,

488
00:22:34,474 --> 00:22:37,394
Speaker 1: like fall over awkwardly in his path and be like, oh,

489
00:22:37,674 --> 00:22:39,234
Speaker 1: I've had some stranger.

490
00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:41,834
Speaker 3: And then there you go. There It is easy. I

491
00:22:41,874 --> 00:22:43,034
Speaker 3: met a guy on Tumbla once.

492
00:22:43,354 --> 00:22:44,714
Speaker 2: Oh see tumblr.

493
00:22:44,874 --> 00:22:49,794
Speaker 4: Tumblr was like Instagram before Instagram, it was like blog yeah,

494
00:22:49,794 --> 00:22:51,194
Speaker 4: like angsty teams.

495
00:22:51,394 --> 00:22:53,554
Speaker 1: Yeah, how did you meet the guy on Tumblr?

496
00:22:53,794 --> 00:22:56,154
Speaker 3: So Tumblr had this feature that if you were really

497
00:22:56,194 --> 00:23:00,033
Speaker 3: popular on Tumblr, people could send in like anonymous questions

498
00:23:00,034 --> 00:23:01,474
Speaker 3: to you and then you could reply kind of like

499
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,033
Speaker 3: Instagram stories like ask me anything.

500
00:23:03,074 --> 00:23:05,274
Speaker 2: Didn't they get really mean? Sometimes they got really mean?

501
00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:09,394
Speaker 3: And Okay, I have confession I wanted to be really

502
00:23:09,434 --> 00:23:11,513
Speaker 3: popular on Tumbler, but no one really cared about all

503
00:23:11,554 --> 00:23:14,634
Speaker 3: the stuff I was reblogging, so I started sending myself

504
00:23:14,954 --> 00:23:18,514
Speaker 3: anonymous questions. Yeah, that will like quite mean to myself.

505
00:23:18,994 --> 00:23:20,954
Speaker 3: And then I'd come into school and be like, guys,

506
00:23:20,994 --> 00:23:24,634
Speaker 3: this girl called me ugly and I'd be like no, no, no.

507
00:23:24,914 --> 00:23:27,434
Speaker 3: And then this guy messaged me on tom going.

508
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:33,834
Speaker 1: I was literally I was your own troll. I was

509
00:23:33,874 --> 00:23:34,674
Speaker 1: fourteen years old.

510
00:23:34,874 --> 00:23:36,634
Speaker 3: And then this guy messaged me on tom going. Hey,

511
00:23:36,634 --> 00:23:38,794
Speaker 3: I saw this question and I don't believe that person,

512
00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,714
Speaker 3: and I was like, that is so nice. And then

513
00:23:40,714 --> 00:23:43,033
Speaker 3: when we were about sixteen, we went to the movies together,

514
00:23:43,074 --> 00:23:45,394
Speaker 3: I think, and then I don't know what happened after that.

515
00:23:45,634 --> 00:23:48,313
Speaker 1: Well, see me and my old friends. People are just

516
00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:52,394
Speaker 1: inappropriately flirting with the high school boyfriends you haven't seen

517
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:55,234
Speaker 1: for thirty years. That's all that's happening. In my social

518
00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:58,834
Speaker 1: media was just like, hey, hey, remember mister Thomas. Yeah,

519
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,634
Speaker 1: next up out loud as. I was about to say,

520
00:24:04,674 --> 00:24:07,033
Speaker 1: we're gonna get self helpy. But if you haven't been

521
00:24:07,234 --> 00:24:10,594
Speaker 1: helped the content of this podcast so much advice, what

522
00:24:10,634 --> 00:24:15,074
Speaker 1: have you been doing? Get on LinkedIn, get a root

523
00:24:15,114 --> 00:24:18,313
Speaker 1: from your root, we are going to be back to

524
00:24:18,354 --> 00:24:25,474
Speaker 1: explain why everybody is underthinking. So I clicked on a

525
00:24:25,514 --> 00:24:30,554
Speaker 1: substack called literally just Do Things the other day and

526
00:24:31,394 --> 00:24:34,594
Speaker 1: it had a lot of likes and follows, and obviously

527
00:24:34,634 --> 00:24:37,114
Speaker 1: I write a substack. You write a substack, But I'm

528
00:24:37,274 --> 00:24:39,314
Speaker 1: always like, what is anyone ever going to read? So

529
00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,154
Speaker 1: I was like, what's this bitch got to say that

530
00:24:41,234 --> 00:24:44,394
Speaker 1: all these people have read about? No, I wasn't quite

531
00:24:44,394 --> 00:24:46,714
Speaker 1: that mean, but anyway, it was called literally just do

532
00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:49,754
Speaker 1: Things and it was definitely written by someone who's super

533
00:24:49,754 --> 00:24:52,114
Speaker 1: cool or super busy. Because there's no capital letters in

534
00:24:52,114 --> 00:24:53,634
Speaker 1: the headline. That's a sign.

535
00:24:53,754 --> 00:24:56,674
Speaker 4: Have you noticed people sometimes like their whole post has

536
00:24:56,714 --> 00:24:57,554
Speaker 4: no capital letters.

537
00:24:57,794 --> 00:24:59,394
Speaker 2: It's the trendy way to write now.

538
00:24:59,554 --> 00:25:02,314
Speaker 1: It's not like just learn about punctuation, which is hard

539
00:25:02,394 --> 00:25:05,354
Speaker 1: because when you type in a headline on substack, it

540
00:25:05,434 --> 00:25:08,474
Speaker 1: automatically capitalizes the first work, so you'd have to go

541
00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:11,714
Speaker 1: back backspace that first letter and make it more.

542
00:25:11,834 --> 00:25:13,914
Speaker 2: So it's actually not cool. It's you're trying really time.

543
00:25:14,394 --> 00:25:17,314
Speaker 1: Well, that's because this person does things, and that's what's

544
00:25:17,834 --> 00:25:23,234
Speaker 1: like me, she did. So it's all about not pausing

545
00:25:23,354 --> 00:25:25,594
Speaker 1: before you do stuff, And it's by this writer. She's

546
00:25:25,634 --> 00:25:29,874
Speaker 1: London based creative called Elefiri Gunari, and she wrote about

547
00:25:29,874 --> 00:25:32,194
Speaker 1: how she thinks that the difference between herself and she's

548
00:25:32,194 --> 00:25:35,714
Speaker 1: obviously pretty successful and considers herself pretty successful. She's, you know,

549
00:25:35,754 --> 00:25:38,074
Speaker 1: writing popular substacks and she's a founder and all this

550
00:25:38,114 --> 00:25:42,394
Speaker 1: stuff and her frustrated friends is the time between them

551
00:25:42,514 --> 00:25:44,994
Speaker 1: thinking of an idea or thinking of a thing they

552
00:25:45,074 --> 00:25:48,194
Speaker 1: want to do and doing the thing. She writes in

553
00:25:48,234 --> 00:25:50,074
Speaker 1: this have you seen those tweets saying things like there

554
00:25:50,074 --> 00:25:52,353
Speaker 1: are people with half your skills and intelligence living out

555
00:25:52,394 --> 00:25:55,194
Speaker 1: your dreams just because they put themselves out there and

556
00:25:55,234 --> 00:25:59,033
Speaker 1: didn't overthink it. She says, It's definitely true. When I

557
00:25:59,074 --> 00:26:01,474
Speaker 1: observe my own experience and analyze where things worked out,

558
00:26:01,514 --> 00:26:03,354
Speaker 1: I can tell you it wasn't because of my skills

559
00:26:03,354 --> 00:26:06,034
Speaker 1: of my knowledge. It was ninety percent because every time

560
00:26:06,034 --> 00:26:08,154
Speaker 1: I had an idea but anything I wanted to do,

561
00:26:08,274 --> 00:26:12,594
Speaker 1: I would take advantage of the momentum of inspiration immediately

562
00:26:13,194 --> 00:26:17,313
Speaker 1: and act on it. It's called underthinking, a bias to

563
00:26:17,394 --> 00:26:20,914
Speaker 1: action or just do it, which a very famous brand

564
00:26:21,514 --> 00:26:25,394
Speaker 1: had been using for ages, but interestingly, Nike have.

565
00:26:25,354 --> 00:26:27,794
Speaker 3: Tweaked just do it to why do it?

566
00:26:28,274 --> 00:26:30,834
Speaker 1: To appeal to a younger generation, who they say needs

567
00:26:30,874 --> 00:26:31,714
Speaker 1: to know the why.

568
00:26:32,274 --> 00:26:33,914
Speaker 3: Oh god, I don't like that.

569
00:26:33,914 --> 00:26:36,994
Speaker 1: The underthinking. I literally just do things people would not approve.

570
00:26:37,154 --> 00:26:40,354
Speaker 1: But let me tell you someone who would approve Meil Robins.

571
00:26:40,434 --> 00:26:42,394
Speaker 1: Because this is just to illustrate that this is not

572
00:26:42,474 --> 00:26:44,954
Speaker 1: just something to do in your professional life. They're saying

573
00:26:44,954 --> 00:26:47,273
Speaker 1: you should underthink things in your personal life too. So

574
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:51,274
Speaker 1: it's very close to Mel Robbins's five second rule theory

575
00:26:51,434 --> 00:26:53,833
Speaker 1: right now. Although she cops a lot of shit on

576
00:26:54,194 --> 00:26:59,114
Speaker 1: Internet these days, Mail Robins, she is enormously mind bogglingly

577
00:26:59,234 --> 00:27:02,754
Speaker 1: successful with her stuff. Let Them is the biggest selling

578
00:27:02,794 --> 00:27:05,594
Speaker 1: book of the year across all genres. She's literally only

579
00:27:05,634 --> 00:27:06,914
Speaker 1: just been knocked off the top of the New York

580
00:27:06,914 --> 00:27:09,194
Speaker 1: Times best seller It sold six million copies. Blah blah

581
00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:11,954
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And the book before that was called

582
00:27:11,954 --> 00:27:14,234
Speaker 1: the five second Rule, which is she says, it's the

583
00:27:14,314 --> 00:27:16,634
Speaker 1: key to her first success. She says, think of a

584
00:27:16,714 --> 00:27:18,954
Speaker 1: thing anything. I need to get up earlier. I need

585
00:27:18,954 --> 00:27:21,714
Speaker 1: to not have that drink, I need to pay that bill,

586
00:27:21,914 --> 00:27:24,474
Speaker 1: call that person, go to Pilates, answer that email, she's

587
00:27:24,594 --> 00:27:26,114
Speaker 1: like five four three two one.

588
00:27:26,234 --> 00:27:26,553
Speaker 4: Do it.

589
00:27:27,034 --> 00:27:28,793
Speaker 1: Here she is talking about.

590
00:27:28,514 --> 00:27:33,234
Speaker 5: That there's this five second window that defines your whole life.

591
00:27:33,834 --> 00:27:38,194
Speaker 5: It's this moment where you pause and hesitate. And in

592
00:27:38,234 --> 00:27:41,234
Speaker 5: this five second window where you move from this moment

593
00:27:41,314 --> 00:27:46,274
Speaker 5: of inspiration and knowing and motivation or confidence or whatever

594
00:27:46,314 --> 00:27:48,674
Speaker 5: you want to call it, and you hesitate and you

595
00:27:48,714 --> 00:27:51,273
Speaker 5: start to consider, well, how do I feel about doing it?

596
00:27:51,914 --> 00:27:54,634
Speaker 5: You move from this bias towards action to a bias

597
00:27:54,634 --> 00:27:59,114
Speaker 5: towards thinking, and inside this hesitation comes all the anxiety,

598
00:27:59,514 --> 00:28:03,794
Speaker 5: all the self doubt, all of the patterns, and all

599
00:28:03,834 --> 00:28:06,194
Speaker 5: of the reasons. There's always an excuse not to do something.

600
00:28:06,514 --> 00:28:09,234
Speaker 5: And that morning, you guys, I felt my hand reaching

601
00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:12,553
Speaker 5: for the snowsze button. Yeah, because the thoughts were like,

602
00:28:12,674 --> 00:28:14,914
Speaker 5: why why am I getting out of bed so it's dark?

603
00:28:14,954 --> 00:28:16,634
Speaker 5: I don't feel like it, Like how so how does

604
00:28:16,634 --> 00:28:19,234
Speaker 5: that going to help do? Like I don't want to? Yeah,

605
00:28:19,234 --> 00:28:21,553
Speaker 5: And I just started counting backwards five four three two one,

606
00:28:21,554 --> 00:28:23,914
Speaker 5: and I stood up And that was the moment that

607
00:28:24,034 --> 00:28:26,794
Speaker 5: changed my life. And it didn't change my life overnight.

608
00:28:27,074 --> 00:28:30,274
Speaker 5: What happened is over time, counting five four three two one,

609
00:28:30,354 --> 00:28:32,474
Speaker 5: Like seventy three times a day five for three two one.

610
00:28:32,514 --> 00:28:34,194
Speaker 5: Put down the bourbon five for three two one. Pick

611
00:28:34,234 --> 00:28:35,994
Speaker 5: up the phone and call somebody and tell them I

612
00:28:36,034 --> 00:28:37,434
Speaker 5: need a job. Five four three two one. Get out

613
00:28:37,434 --> 00:28:40,074
Speaker 5: of bed five for two to one, take a deep breath,

614
00:28:40,114 --> 00:28:41,354
Speaker 5: and don't yellow at Chris.

615
00:28:41,754 --> 00:28:46,034
Speaker 1: So, why is underthinking having a moment in the culture.

616
00:28:46,354 --> 00:28:49,074
Speaker 4: I agree that we have gone from I mean, it's

617
00:28:49,114 --> 00:28:52,714
Speaker 4: so bizarre that literally just do it is countercultural.

618
00:28:52,994 --> 00:28:54,114
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, just do.

619
00:28:54,154 --> 00:28:57,154
Speaker 4: Things because that's the only way anything happens in life.

620
00:28:57,434 --> 00:29:00,914
Speaker 4: And it's so basic that I think anybody with any

621
00:29:00,914 --> 00:29:05,234
Speaker 4: life experience can see that often when you're young, it's

622
00:29:05,314 --> 00:29:09,034
Speaker 4: your obliviousness that was a gift. I think about this

623
00:29:09,234 --> 00:29:13,034
Speaker 4: Harvard commencement speech that Natalie Portman gave in twenty fifteen,

624
00:29:13,474 --> 00:29:19,074
Speaker 4: and she credits all her success to her obliviousness. She's like,

625
00:29:19,114 --> 00:29:21,834
Speaker 4: it's not about doing things for her, it wasn't about

626
00:29:21,874 --> 00:29:25,554
Speaker 4: doing things when you're scared, because she's anxious and if

627
00:29:25,554 --> 00:29:28,154
Speaker 4: she fears something, which gets in her head, all of that.

628
00:29:28,874 --> 00:29:32,034
Speaker 4: But she's like the fact that for her started acting

629
00:29:32,074 --> 00:29:35,794
Speaker 4: when she was like eleven, that she was naive was

630
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:39,234
Speaker 4: actually the most beautiful thing, And she's got this point

631
00:29:39,314 --> 00:29:43,594
Speaker 4: that inexperience can sometimes be an asset. It's sometimes what

632
00:29:44,034 --> 00:29:48,834
Speaker 4: unlocks original and unconventional thinking. And she has an example

633
00:29:48,874 --> 00:29:52,074
Speaker 4: of a friend who's a famous violinist who said he

634
00:29:52,154 --> 00:29:55,194
Speaker 4: can't compose because he knows too many pieces, and so

635
00:29:55,234 --> 00:29:56,954
Speaker 4: as soon as he plays a note, he can hear

636
00:29:57,074 --> 00:29:58,394
Speaker 4: all the songs that are in that note, and his

637
00:29:58,474 --> 00:29:59,874
Speaker 4: is never going to be as good and all of that.

638
00:30:00,514 --> 00:30:04,074
Speaker 4: So the idea of literally just do it before you

639
00:30:04,154 --> 00:30:08,434
Speaker 4: get in your head is the key to everything. I've

640
00:30:08,434 --> 00:30:12,794
Speaker 4: got kind of a personal example, which is I had

641
00:30:12,834 --> 00:30:15,314
Speaker 4: to use this one hundred percent when I was writing

642
00:30:15,674 --> 00:30:18,594
Speaker 4: my book because I probably, in terms of writing my novel,

643
00:30:18,634 --> 00:30:20,594
Speaker 4: I wanted to do it for so so so long.

644
00:30:20,674 --> 00:30:23,594
Speaker 4: And I'm actually glad I didn't do it five years ago,

645
00:30:23,634 --> 00:30:25,714
Speaker 4: because it's a better book than it would have been

646
00:30:25,714 --> 00:30:28,754
Speaker 4: had I've written it five years ago. But a few

647
00:30:28,834 --> 00:30:32,354
Speaker 4: days before it was due, I was having a complete

648
00:30:32,394 --> 00:30:35,754
Speaker 4: crisis of confidence and overthinking, and I was in my

649
00:30:35,874 --> 00:30:38,434
Speaker 4: room crying, and I said to Rory, like the book

650
00:30:38,514 --> 00:30:40,194
Speaker 4: was done at this point, and I was like, I

651
00:30:40,234 --> 00:30:44,274
Speaker 4: can't submit it. I just can't. It's just not absolutely perfect.

652
00:30:44,554 --> 00:30:47,394
Speaker 4: I could work on it for another ten years. And

653
00:30:47,514 --> 00:30:50,674
Speaker 4: Rory pointed to our wardrobe. He was a musician for

654
00:30:50,794 --> 00:30:52,754
Speaker 4: ten years trying to be a musician, and he pointed

655
00:30:52,754 --> 00:30:55,074
Speaker 4: to the wardrobe and he's like, in that wardrobe is

656
00:30:55,114 --> 00:31:00,034
Speaker 4: a box of USBs, and on those USBs are hundreds

657
00:31:00,034 --> 00:31:02,994
Speaker 4: of songs that no one's ever heard because I couldn't

658
00:31:03,234 --> 00:31:07,354
Speaker 4: release them into the world. And he's like, this act

659
00:31:07,434 --> 00:31:10,754
Speaker 4: of just doing it, of literally just doing it, of

660
00:31:11,034 --> 00:31:13,514
Speaker 4: handing the thing in and having it exist in the

661
00:31:13,554 --> 00:31:16,874
Speaker 4: world is the most powerful thing you can possibly do.

662
00:31:17,154 --> 00:31:18,754
Speaker 2: And I and it really.

663
00:31:18,874 --> 00:31:23,194
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, And every process, every creative process

664
00:31:23,274 --> 00:31:26,714
Speaker 4: especially is iterative, so of course you're not ready when

665
00:31:26,874 --> 00:31:28,634
Speaker 4: you first do it. I'm sure this happens to you,

666
00:31:28,794 --> 00:31:30,714
Speaker 4: Holly as well. People are like, how do I write

667
00:31:30,714 --> 00:31:31,074
Speaker 4: a book?

668
00:31:32,314 --> 00:31:35,994
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm like, you sit down, and you're right. But

669
00:31:36,074 --> 00:31:38,154
Speaker 2: there is a lot of in our culture.

670
00:31:38,194 --> 00:31:42,354
Speaker 4: There's a lot of like I'll do all these courses

671
00:31:42,354 --> 00:31:44,634
Speaker 4: and I'll do all these things and I'll feel ready,

672
00:31:44,674 --> 00:31:47,874
Speaker 4: and I'll get coffees with people and I'm like, you

673
00:31:48,034 --> 00:31:48,794
Speaker 4: just have to do it.

674
00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:50,354
Speaker 2: You just have to do it, and you learn.

675
00:31:52,034 --> 00:31:54,834
Speaker 1: Am I want to know if you're an overthinker or not.

676
00:31:55,314 --> 00:31:58,954
Speaker 3: I wouldn't classify myself as an overthinker, but I am

677
00:31:59,114 --> 00:32:03,154
Speaker 3: a deep procrastinator too, and I think that comes from

678
00:32:03,394 --> 00:32:06,954
Speaker 3: a bit of a fear of failure. I love this advice.

679
00:32:07,034 --> 00:32:10,474
Speaker 3: I always listen to podcasts and read books about just

680
00:32:10,554 --> 00:32:13,154
Speaker 3: doing the thing because I'm so in awe of people

681
00:32:13,194 --> 00:32:16,114
Speaker 3: who have become so successful by just doing it. And

682
00:32:16,154 --> 00:32:18,194
Speaker 3: I remember I was on a plane on the way

683
00:32:18,194 --> 00:32:20,074
Speaker 3: home and I was reading a book that I think

684
00:32:20,154 --> 00:32:24,754
Speaker 3: you recommended whole. It was Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic Creativity.

685
00:32:24,954 --> 00:32:25,154
Speaker 1: Yes.

686
00:32:25,234 --> 00:32:27,274
Speaker 3: And in the book she tells a story that I

687
00:32:27,314 --> 00:32:29,874
Speaker 3: think about every day, how she really really wanted to

688
00:32:29,874 --> 00:32:33,834
Speaker 3: write a book about the Amazon and she had everything

689
00:32:33,874 --> 00:32:35,474
Speaker 3: planned out and it just wasn't the right time. And

690
00:32:35,514 --> 00:32:37,154
Speaker 3: she kept thinking about this book and thinking about it

691
00:32:37,274 --> 00:32:39,074
Speaker 3: and thinking about it, and then someone else wrote it

692
00:32:39,794 --> 00:32:42,914
Speaker 3: like the exact same story and patch it and I

693
00:32:43,034 --> 00:32:45,074
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, someone's going to do the

694
00:32:45,114 --> 00:32:46,354
Speaker 3: thing before I do it. I need to do it.

695
00:32:46,394 --> 00:32:47,274
Speaker 3: I need to do it. And I got to the

696
00:32:47,274 --> 00:32:48,554
Speaker 3: plane and I didn't do it, and I still haven't

697
00:32:48,554 --> 00:32:51,034
Speaker 3: done it, and I don't know what it is. And

698
00:32:51,074 --> 00:32:54,274
Speaker 3: the thing is like I'm now looking at all the

699
00:32:54,274 --> 00:32:56,754
Speaker 3: self help books and all the podcasts and meeting people

700
00:32:56,794 --> 00:32:59,954
Speaker 3: with coffee just to find the motivation to do the

701
00:32:59,994 --> 00:33:01,434
Speaker 3: thing rather than just doing it.

702
00:33:01,714 --> 00:33:04,234
Speaker 1: I think that, you know how, I generally don't like

703
00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:06,714
Speaker 1: blanket self help advice because I think that we're all

704
00:33:06,714 --> 00:33:09,474
Speaker 1: different kinds of people, and some people are innately just

705
00:33:09,554 --> 00:33:11,954
Speaker 1: do it people, right. I think it's weird that Nike've

706
00:33:12,034 --> 00:33:14,034
Speaker 1: changed their slogan just when just do it's coming back

707
00:33:14,074 --> 00:33:19,314
Speaker 1: in fashion. But anyway, Mia is a just do it person. Unquestionably,

708
00:33:19,554 --> 00:33:22,114
Speaker 1: she is like, let's fix that, let's do that, let's

709
00:33:22,154 --> 00:33:25,834
Speaker 1: try that, Let's stop that immediately now, tomorrow, yesterday, let's not.

710
00:33:25,794 --> 00:33:27,634
Speaker 2: Eat, let's launch this thing next week.

711
00:33:27,754 --> 00:33:30,274
Speaker 1: And the thing is is, sometimes that is exactly the

712
00:33:30,314 --> 00:33:33,074
Speaker 1: right thing to do, and sometimes it isn't. But her

713
00:33:33,314 --> 00:33:35,714
Speaker 1: mantra has always been, and this woman says in this newsletter,

714
00:33:36,074 --> 00:33:38,954
Speaker 1: done is better than perfect always, and that drive for

715
00:33:39,034 --> 00:33:42,634
Speaker 1: perfectionism is like the enemy of productivity. Right, so just

716
00:33:42,714 --> 00:33:44,674
Speaker 1: do it. But the thing is is, I think it's

717
00:33:44,754 --> 00:33:47,874
Speaker 1: much bigger than professional stuff in what people's personal lives.

718
00:33:47,914 --> 00:33:50,394
Speaker 1: I've got friends who are very just do it biased,

719
00:33:50,474 --> 00:33:53,194
Speaker 1: So you know, they immediately they're like, we're gonna paint

720
00:33:53,194 --> 00:33:56,034
Speaker 1: this room. Me and Brent would be talking about painting

721
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,354
Speaker 1: that room for two years before we paint the room.

722
00:33:58,794 --> 00:34:01,394
Speaker 1: My friend Penny is on the phone to the painter

723
00:34:01,514 --> 00:34:03,594
Speaker 1: before that sentence has come out of her head. You know,

724
00:34:03,834 --> 00:34:05,594
Speaker 1: just do it, just get it done, just do it,

725
00:34:05,674 --> 00:34:08,274
Speaker 1: like do it now, do it. And I'm not wired

726
00:34:08,354 --> 00:34:10,794
Speaker 1: that way, so I have to push myself to be

727
00:34:10,834 --> 00:34:15,033
Speaker 1: that person because my natural inclination is, let's think about it,

728
00:34:15,234 --> 00:34:18,274
Speaker 1: let's ponder it, I say all the time, and I shouldn't.

729
00:34:18,314 --> 00:34:20,314
Speaker 1: And although people who know me always say it's a

730
00:34:20,354 --> 00:34:22,274
Speaker 1: code for I don't want to is, I always say,

731
00:34:22,354 --> 00:34:23,034
Speaker 1: let's see.

732
00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:24,434
Speaker 3: Yeah.

733
00:34:24,474 --> 00:34:27,314
Speaker 1: And obviously I can do things like I've you know,

734
00:34:27,354 --> 00:34:29,234
Speaker 1: I have written books, I have had a good career.

735
00:34:29,354 --> 00:34:31,674
Speaker 1: I have done lots of things, but it takes me

736
00:34:31,714 --> 00:34:34,794
Speaker 1: a long time to get there mentally often. So I

737
00:34:34,794 --> 00:34:37,914
Speaker 1: don't know if this is excellent advice for me, except

738
00:34:37,914 --> 00:34:40,714
Speaker 1: to push me out of procrastination when I'm stuck where

739
00:34:40,754 --> 00:34:43,154
Speaker 1: you're stuck, m And I am a little bit at

740
00:34:43,154 --> 00:34:45,754
Speaker 1: the minute, and that you know, I know what I'm doing.

741
00:34:45,794 --> 00:34:47,554
Speaker 1: I've made the decision to do it, but it's just

742
00:34:47,914 --> 00:34:50,114
Speaker 1: the step that I need to hear this. I need

743
00:34:50,114 --> 00:34:52,913
Speaker 1: the mel Robins five four three two one pick up

744
00:34:52,954 --> 00:34:53,834
Speaker 1: the phone and.

745
00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:54,754
Speaker 3: Does that work for you?

746
00:34:55,234 --> 00:34:57,953
Speaker 1: Well, I can make it work for me, but it's

747
00:34:57,954 --> 00:35:02,314
Speaker 1: not my natural inclination. My natural inclination is, like, let's.

748
00:35:01,994 --> 00:35:04,473
Speaker 4: See, because I'm the same Holly, I do a lot

749
00:35:04,514 --> 00:35:09,754
Speaker 4: of contemplation and and I often sometimes when I do,

750
00:35:09,834 --> 00:35:13,834
Speaker 4: try to force myself to be impulsive and just be like, yeah,

751
00:35:13,874 --> 00:35:14,874
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna make that decision.

752
00:35:14,914 --> 00:35:15,913
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna do that thing.

753
00:35:16,394 --> 00:35:19,953
Speaker 4: Sometimes I make more work for myself because sometimes let's

754
00:35:20,034 --> 00:35:22,674
Speaker 4: wait and see, problems solve themselves.

755
00:35:22,674 --> 00:35:25,274
Speaker 1: They do, and if you don't present.

756
00:35:24,994 --> 00:35:28,314
Speaker 4: Themselves, yes, and if you don't allow that to happen,

757
00:35:28,394 --> 00:35:31,634
Speaker 4: like I always think, I think I make good decisions,

758
00:35:31,714 --> 00:35:34,354
Speaker 4: but I'm a very slow decision maker. Yes, I have

759
00:35:34,434 --> 00:35:37,354
Speaker 4: to think about it a lot. The part of this

760
00:35:37,474 --> 00:35:41,274
Speaker 4: I really agree with is about getting out of your

761
00:35:41,274 --> 00:35:45,154
Speaker 4: comfort zone and trying new things and not seeing yourself

762
00:35:45,194 --> 00:35:48,154
Speaker 4: as so fragile and so vulnerable that if you do

763
00:35:48,234 --> 00:35:50,714
Speaker 4: something and it's not a positive experience, it's going to

764
00:35:50,874 --> 00:35:51,434
Speaker 4: end your life.

765
00:35:51,474 --> 00:35:54,634
Speaker 2: Like that's not what's going to happen. So I'm glad that.

766
00:35:55,114 --> 00:35:58,073
Speaker 4: For example, when I was an anxious kid, I sort

767
00:35:58,074 --> 00:36:00,554
Speaker 4: of had this mentality when it came to like public

768
00:36:00,594 --> 00:36:03,154
Speaker 4: speaking or trying at sport.

769
00:36:02,914 --> 00:36:04,514
Speaker 2: Which I was always appalling at that.

770
00:36:04,594 --> 00:36:07,953
Speaker 4: I just the mentality was, you just do it, and

771
00:36:08,114 --> 00:36:10,714
Speaker 4: you build up confidence and you build up skills, even

772
00:36:10,754 --> 00:36:13,714
Speaker 4: if you don't have a natural proclivity to do that.

773
00:36:14,914 --> 00:36:17,714
Speaker 1: And I have one question for you. Is this true?

774
00:36:17,914 --> 00:36:21,154
Speaker 2: I called someone gen z or younger person, and.

775
00:36:21,274 --> 00:36:23,394
Speaker 3: She's like, what is it deal with these young people?

776
00:36:23,514 --> 00:36:25,194
Speaker 3: When they enter the phone, they don't say anything.

777
00:36:25,794 --> 00:36:27,754
Speaker 6: I've seen someone talk about this and I was like,

778
00:36:27,834 --> 00:36:30,873
Speaker 6: huh And she's like and I was like, oh, and

779
00:36:30,874 --> 00:36:33,794
Speaker 6: they're like, hi's up. She's like, and I guess this

780
00:36:33,874 --> 00:36:35,794
Speaker 6: is a thing now, like when you pick up When

781
00:36:35,834 --> 00:36:37,594
Speaker 6: they pick up the phone, they don't say anything.

782
00:36:37,674 --> 00:36:40,114
Speaker 3: And I think that's crazy. Am I crazy for thinking this?

783
00:36:40,314 --> 00:36:40,553
Speaker 1: No?

784
00:36:40,714 --> 00:36:42,393
Speaker 6: And I was like, oh my god, how weird. That

785
00:36:42,474 --> 00:36:43,834
Speaker 6: must just be the people, she knows. I looked at

786
00:36:43,834 --> 00:36:44,354
Speaker 6: the comments.

787
00:36:44,514 --> 00:36:47,074
Speaker 2: All of them were like, you called me, you talk first.

788
00:36:47,514 --> 00:36:52,034
Speaker 1: You called me you talk first. Is it true that

789
00:36:52,394 --> 00:36:55,154
Speaker 1: gen zs do not speak when they pick up the phone.

790
00:36:55,194 --> 00:36:56,994
Speaker 1: That little grab that you just heard is from an

791
00:36:56,994 --> 00:37:00,634
Speaker 1: American podcast called Sweet and Salty Sister Pod. I know

792
00:37:00,754 --> 00:37:03,634
Speaker 1: nothing about it, but that clip has gone viral because

793
00:37:04,634 --> 00:37:07,314
Speaker 1: a lot of people are like, yeah, my friends don't

794
00:37:07,314 --> 00:37:09,953
Speaker 1: speak when they pick up the phone either. What is

795
00:37:09,994 --> 00:37:13,114
Speaker 1: that true? Do you speak when you pick up a phone.

796
00:37:13,354 --> 00:37:16,114
Speaker 3: I didn't know it was a generation thing. I thought

797
00:37:16,154 --> 00:37:18,354
Speaker 3: it was just a me thing where I don't you

798
00:37:18,434 --> 00:37:21,874
Speaker 3: don't if it's someone I know who's calling, Like if

799
00:37:21,914 --> 00:37:24,234
Speaker 3: I call you, Yeah, if you called me, I'd be like, hey, hole, Yeah,

800
00:37:24,274 --> 00:37:25,754
Speaker 3: if you call me, I'd be like hey Claire, because

801
00:37:25,794 --> 00:37:28,034
Speaker 3: I have your number saved. If it was an unknown number,

802
00:37:28,674 --> 00:37:30,954
Speaker 3: I usually pick it up and wait for them to

803
00:37:30,994 --> 00:37:34,794
Speaker 3: say hi first. Really, And it's a new thing I've

804
00:37:34,794 --> 00:37:37,234
Speaker 3: started doing. And I think that's because I get so

805
00:37:37,314 --> 00:37:38,594
Speaker 3: many spam calls.

806
00:37:38,994 --> 00:37:41,474
Speaker 1: I noticed this because my daughter does it. I often

807
00:37:41,514 --> 00:37:44,354
Speaker 1: call her and she doesn't say hi Mom.

808
00:37:44,474 --> 00:37:45,194
Speaker 2: It was just breeding.

809
00:37:48,234 --> 00:37:52,474
Speaker 1: I'm like, what this must be right that if you

810
00:37:52,594 --> 00:37:56,114
Speaker 1: grew up talking on the phone along, the etiquette is hello,

811
00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:59,074
Speaker 1: you answer the phone hello, yeah, And if it's in

812
00:37:59,074 --> 00:38:02,034
Speaker 1: a professional environment, hello, mamma, Mia for me. If it's

813
00:38:02,074 --> 00:38:04,234
Speaker 1: a number I don't recognize, I usually don't pick up.

814
00:38:04,234 --> 00:38:06,154
Speaker 1: But if I did pick up, I'd be like, hi,

815
00:38:06,234 --> 00:38:09,234
Speaker 1: Holly speaking, because I assume it's like doctors or.

816
00:38:09,634 --> 00:38:12,314
Speaker 3: You love privacy, you're just giving everyone all your details.

817
00:38:13,914 --> 00:38:15,473
Speaker 2: Bank account here.

818
00:38:15,914 --> 00:38:18,314
Speaker 1: But it would never occur to me not to say

819
00:38:18,434 --> 00:38:20,674
Speaker 1: anything Class Stevens, where do you sit?

820
00:38:20,914 --> 00:38:23,354
Speaker 4: Apparently one of the reasons that they don't do this,

821
00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:25,953
Speaker 4: and it's actually what clever I guess, is that it's

822
00:38:25,994 --> 00:38:29,754
Speaker 4: a thing that AI now if it is like a scam,

823
00:38:29,834 --> 00:38:32,154
Speaker 4: they can call and if I say Hi, Clare speaking,

824
00:38:32,794 --> 00:38:35,634
Speaker 4: they can then clone my voice and then they can

825
00:38:35,714 --> 00:38:38,514
Speaker 4: call my relatives and ask for money, and which I'm like,

826
00:38:38,674 --> 00:38:40,114
Speaker 4: I just don't live life that way.

827
00:38:40,154 --> 00:38:42,314
Speaker 3: But that's happened to so many people, And actually had

828
00:38:42,314 --> 00:38:46,074
Speaker 3: this happen to a friend. Some bot used her name

829
00:38:46,994 --> 00:38:50,154
Speaker 3: in her voice to call her parents and spam her

830
00:38:50,194 --> 00:38:51,114
Speaker 3: parents out of money.

831
00:38:52,114 --> 00:38:54,634
Speaker 1: See, yeah, but do you think that's why or do

832
00:38:54,674 --> 00:38:56,993
Speaker 1: you think it's just don't know how nes were?

833
00:38:57,234 --> 00:38:59,074
Speaker 3: I don't think it's that. I think it's more like,

834
00:38:59,634 --> 00:39:03,434
Speaker 3: if you are calling me, it's obviously a really urgent reason,

835
00:39:03,514 --> 00:39:05,754
Speaker 3: so I assume you're going to just straight away start

836
00:39:05,794 --> 00:39:07,514
Speaker 3: talking and be like this happened, just happened.

837
00:39:07,514 --> 00:39:07,874
Speaker 1: This happened.

838
00:39:07,954 --> 00:39:09,433
Speaker 3: You need to do this, so why would I waste

839
00:39:09,434 --> 00:39:10,354
Speaker 3: time my saying hello?

840
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:15,754
Speaker 4: There was an amazing comment underneath this that was like,

841
00:39:15,914 --> 00:39:18,554
Speaker 4: you have to understand that jen Z like grew up

842
00:39:18,594 --> 00:39:21,834
Speaker 4: differently with like communication always on, And this person wrote,

843
00:39:22,034 --> 00:39:25,074
Speaker 4: calling them is very demanding, a very serious form of

844
00:39:25,074 --> 00:39:27,594
Speaker 4: communication that requires them to stop what they're doing and

845
00:39:27,594 --> 00:39:30,674
Speaker 4: pay attention to you with only seconds of ringing to

846
00:39:30,714 --> 00:39:34,953
Speaker 4: make the decision. I completely applaud their boundaries with communication

847
00:39:35,114 --> 00:39:38,234
Speaker 4: and electronics. I'm like, oh my god, it's a phone call.

848
00:39:38,794 --> 00:39:40,234
Speaker 4: This is ridiculous.

849
00:39:40,554 --> 00:39:45,034
Speaker 1: I assume something bad's happening. If nobody's speaking, I'll be like, hello.

850
00:39:45,194 --> 00:39:48,634
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, are you being held?

851
00:39:49,074 --> 00:39:51,194
Speaker 1: Okay? I need to know out louders is this a

852
00:39:51,274 --> 00:39:54,354
Speaker 1: thing people just pick it up the phone and not

853
00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:56,674
Speaker 1: say it anything. You wanted to call me so badly?

854
00:39:56,834 --> 00:39:57,154
Speaker 1: Come on?

855
00:39:57,474 --> 00:39:58,354
Speaker 3: What do you have to say?

856
00:39:58,674 --> 00:39:59,354
Speaker 1: I love it.

857
00:40:00,514 --> 00:40:03,834
Speaker 4: After the break, we've got our recommendations to get you

858
00:40:03,874 --> 00:40:04,554
Speaker 4: through the weekend.

859
00:40:05,154 --> 00:40:08,354
Speaker 1: Want unlimited out loud access? Can you drop episodes every

860
00:40:08,394 --> 00:40:12,674
Speaker 1: Tuesday and Thursday exclusively for Mom and Mere subscribers? Follow

861
00:40:12,714 --> 00:40:14,194
Speaker 1: the link in the show notes to get us in

862
00:40:14,234 --> 00:40:17,393
Speaker 1: your ears five days a week and a huge thank

863
00:40:17,434 --> 00:40:20,993
Speaker 1: you to all our current subscribers.

864
00:40:27,514 --> 00:40:31,354
Speaker 6: Vibes ideas atmosphere, something casual, something fun.

865
00:40:31,914 --> 00:40:33,433
Speaker 3: This is my best recommendation.

866
00:40:34,754 --> 00:40:37,074
Speaker 4: It's Friday, so we want to help you set up

867
00:40:37,114 --> 00:40:41,554
Speaker 4: your weekend with our best recommendations. M I need to

868
00:40:41,634 --> 00:40:44,234
Speaker 4: know what I'm watching, doing eating this week.

869
00:40:44,354 --> 00:40:45,873
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I have something to watch. And I

870
00:40:45,954 --> 00:40:48,474
Speaker 3: feel like now I only want to recommend TV shows

871
00:40:48,514 --> 00:40:50,433
Speaker 3: to out loudest because I could go either way.

872
00:40:50,674 --> 00:40:53,873
Speaker 1: People like your TV shows. A lot of people when

873
00:40:53,914 --> 00:40:55,234
Speaker 1: they did what was the one you did?

874
00:40:55,274 --> 00:40:55,354
Speaker 2: That?

875
00:40:55,394 --> 00:41:00,194
Speaker 1: Were the Powers Around one? Before that, they didn't like, Oh.

876
00:41:00,114 --> 00:41:02,634
Speaker 2: I watched that on your recommendation, that was so stressful.

877
00:41:02,834 --> 00:41:04,354
Speaker 1: You're not responsible for the ending.

878
00:41:04,474 --> 00:41:04,954
Speaker 2: No, I.

879
00:41:06,514 --> 00:41:08,754
Speaker 3: Just enjoy the game. I play with this because I

880
00:41:08,794 --> 00:41:10,034
Speaker 3: feel like it's a bit of a gable. And then

881
00:41:10,074 --> 00:41:11,634
Speaker 3: I look in the at Ladder's group to see if

882
00:41:11,634 --> 00:41:12,554
Speaker 3: they actually liked it or.

883
00:41:12,794 --> 00:41:15,674
Speaker 1: Like she'n, I'm not gonna speak when she tells me

884
00:41:15,714 --> 00:41:16,473
Speaker 1: about this show.

885
00:41:17,954 --> 00:41:19,953
Speaker 3: Okay, So I do want to recommend a TV show.

886
00:41:19,994 --> 00:41:22,274
Speaker 3: It's on Apple TV. It's just come out. It's called

887
00:41:22,794 --> 00:41:25,674
Speaker 3: Claribus claribus.

888
00:41:24,994 --> 00:41:27,994
Speaker 4: Pluris plora bus ploridis.

889
00:41:27,994 --> 00:41:28,913
Speaker 1: It's called that thing.

890
00:41:29,234 --> 00:41:29,993
Speaker 3: It's called that thing.

891
00:41:30,314 --> 00:41:32,674
Speaker 1: What's it about? Because I've seen the ads, Okay, so

892
00:41:32,754 --> 00:41:35,234
Speaker 1: they haven't paid any attention. I've just seen the name.

893
00:41:35,674 --> 00:41:38,194
Speaker 3: It is the one show that I've been thinking about, like,

894
00:41:38,234 --> 00:41:39,714
Speaker 3: it's the one show I'm holding on for the new

895
00:41:39,714 --> 00:41:42,754
Speaker 3: episode every single week. It is about the world being

896
00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:47,314
Speaker 3: hit with an extraterrestrial virus that is infecting everyone but

897
00:41:47,474 --> 00:41:51,234
Speaker 3: eleven people in the world, and we're following one particular

898
00:41:51,434 --> 00:41:54,354
Speaker 3: character named Carol, who's played by Riha Seahorn. You would

899
00:41:54,434 --> 00:41:57,034
Speaker 3: know her from Better Call sal and she goes on

900
00:41:57,034 --> 00:41:59,234
Speaker 3: a journey trying to fix it. She's like an author,

901
00:41:59,314 --> 00:42:01,394
Speaker 3: so it's like really random people that's not affecting.

902
00:42:04,354 --> 00:42:10,354
Speaker 6: Hey, girl, we just want you to be happy.

903
00:42:10,994 --> 00:42:11,873
Speaker 2: Can I ask a question?

904
00:42:12,514 --> 00:42:13,674
Speaker 3: Certainly? What would you like to know?

905
00:42:14,514 --> 00:42:15,634
Speaker 1: How do I reverse all this?

906
00:42:16,434 --> 00:42:19,954
Speaker 3: Rest assured Carol, we will figure out what makes you different,

907
00:42:21,194 --> 00:42:23,794
Speaker 3: figure it out why, so you can join us.

908
00:42:24,474 --> 00:42:25,834
Speaker 1: What the fu?

909
00:42:26,554 --> 00:42:28,194
Speaker 3: I recommended this on The Spill as well, and I

910
00:42:28,274 --> 00:42:30,393
Speaker 3: only watched episode one, and I thought it was like

911
00:42:30,434 --> 00:42:33,074
Speaker 3: a horror show because I was so scared in the

912
00:42:33,074 --> 00:42:35,274
Speaker 3: first episode because I thought it was going to be

913
00:42:35,274 --> 00:42:38,754
Speaker 3: something like kind of like a Walking Dead zombie situation,

914
00:42:39,434 --> 00:42:41,754
Speaker 3: and I can't say too much because I would just

915
00:42:41,834 --> 00:42:44,634
Speaker 3: ruin everything the way these people are infected. But it

916
00:42:44,754 --> 00:42:50,834
Speaker 3: is so clever, so creepy and so mysterious that you

917
00:42:50,914 --> 00:42:54,514
Speaker 3: are just hooked to the TV this whole time. And

918
00:42:54,594 --> 00:42:56,914
Speaker 3: it drops week to week, so it's a weekly drop

919
00:42:56,994 --> 00:42:59,953
Speaker 3: and episodes drop every Friday. Four episodes will be out

920
00:42:59,994 --> 00:43:03,354
Speaker 3: so far. But it is just so well done and

921
00:43:03,354 --> 00:43:04,994
Speaker 3: I wish I could say more. So I need everyone

922
00:43:05,034 --> 00:43:08,194
Speaker 3: to watch it. So is it the Last of Us?

923
00:43:08,234 --> 00:43:10,674
Speaker 4: Because with both Walking Dead and The Last of Us,

924
00:43:10,714 --> 00:43:14,754
Speaker 4: I had to stop because I went Zombie Apocalypse. It

925
00:43:14,794 --> 00:43:16,354
Speaker 4: does get to a point where I'm like this is

926
00:43:16,394 --> 00:43:19,514
Speaker 4: getting a little bit repetitive and that everyone's infected by

927
00:43:19,634 --> 00:43:20,274
Speaker 4: zombie day.

928
00:43:20,354 --> 00:43:22,034
Speaker 3: You say that about the last time, it's like a

929
00:43:22,074 --> 00:43:25,594
Speaker 3: mass infection, but it's not like that, Okay, So that's

930
00:43:25,594 --> 00:43:28,114
Speaker 3: why I found the episode one was like so scary

931
00:43:28,234 --> 00:43:31,194
Speaker 3: because you don't actually know what's happening to these people,

932
00:43:31,554 --> 00:43:34,953
Speaker 3: and then by episode two you figure it out, goes

933
00:43:34,954 --> 00:43:37,714
Speaker 3: into like a dark comedy, like it becomes more like

934
00:43:37,914 --> 00:43:39,473
Speaker 3: Suspend's like, oh my god, I can't wait to see

935
00:43:39,474 --> 00:43:40,034
Speaker 3: what's happening next.

936
00:43:40,074 --> 00:43:44,714
Speaker 1: But it's not scary, okay, so well called pluribus and

937
00:43:44,754 --> 00:43:46,754
Speaker 1: it's on Apple TV, Apple TV.

938
00:43:47,194 --> 00:43:48,154
Speaker 3: Claire, what's your reco?

939
00:43:48,514 --> 00:43:52,154
Speaker 2: My reco is for all her fault on binge.

940
00:43:52,314 --> 00:43:53,194
Speaker 3: Everyone's watching this.

941
00:43:53,394 --> 00:43:57,154
Speaker 4: Oh, so it's got Sarah Snook. It's Nook right now, Yeah,

942
00:43:57,754 --> 00:44:02,274
Speaker 4: Sarah Snook and Dakota Fanning. It is basically the story

943
00:44:02,394 --> 00:44:04,433
Speaker 4: of a playdate gone wrong.

944
00:44:04,634 --> 00:44:06,873
Speaker 2: So Marissa, played by Sarah.

945
00:44:06,594 --> 00:44:09,954
Speaker 4: Snook, turns up at what she thinks is a school

946
00:44:09,994 --> 00:44:13,634
Speaker 4: mom's place to pick up her child, and the school

947
00:44:13,674 --> 00:44:16,194
Speaker 4: mum does not live there. It's somebody else. And she's like,

948
00:44:16,234 --> 00:44:17,474
Speaker 4: I don't know who this woman is.

949
00:44:17,514 --> 00:44:18,953
Speaker 2: I don't know, but your kids explains why.

950
00:44:18,994 --> 00:44:22,154
Speaker 1: I've seen it described as like every parent's nightmare exactly.

951
00:44:22,434 --> 00:44:25,154
Speaker 2: So her five year old is missing.

952
00:44:26,874 --> 00:44:29,274
Speaker 3: Playing money by Sweetheart.

953
00:44:29,314 --> 00:44:31,714
Speaker 1: Nine ninety percent of the time when a child goes missing,

954
00:44:32,354 --> 00:44:36,154
Speaker 1: it's a misunderstanding between parents, grandparents and Nannie's.

955
00:44:37,434 --> 00:44:40,274
Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Marissa, I'm here to figut my son Milo.

956
00:44:40,634 --> 00:44:45,473
Speaker 3: There's no Milo here, but Milo has been missing for

957
00:44:45,554 --> 00:44:49,473
Speaker 3: nearly five hours now. It's not a misunderstanding.

958
00:44:51,114 --> 00:44:52,994
Speaker 2: I would say there are parts of it.

959
00:44:53,074 --> 00:44:56,794
Speaker 4: I've been thinking a lot about how dialogue in TV shows.

960
00:44:56,874 --> 00:45:00,194
Speaker 4: Right now, I'm really noticing it when it doesn't seem natural,

961
00:45:00,194 --> 00:45:02,794
Speaker 4: and so it's an imperfect show. However, the thing I

962
00:45:02,794 --> 00:45:06,394
Speaker 4: think it does the best and that's actually really fresh,

963
00:45:06,714 --> 00:45:11,354
Speaker 4: is that there are these snippets that perfectly show the

964
00:45:11,394 --> 00:45:15,354
Speaker 4: frustrations of raising a child in a heterosexual relationship where

965
00:45:15,354 --> 00:45:17,954
Speaker 4: the mental load always falls to the woman, no matter

966
00:45:17,954 --> 00:45:20,234
Speaker 4: how big her job is or how much she has

967
00:45:20,354 --> 00:45:24,034
Speaker 4: going on. And it's about the fact that when something

968
00:45:24,074 --> 00:45:28,714
Speaker 4: does go wrong, the woman gets blamed for like the

969
00:45:28,794 --> 00:45:31,274
Speaker 4: fact that your child, Yeah, why weren't you with them?

970
00:45:31,314 --> 00:45:33,994
Speaker 4: Why didn't you check this? Why didn't you check the

971
00:45:33,994 --> 00:45:37,433
Speaker 4: phone number that messaged you? All this stuff? And it's

972
00:45:37,474 --> 00:45:40,274
Speaker 4: like you're looking at the man thinking you weren't responsible

973
00:45:40,314 --> 00:45:41,954
Speaker 4: for any of it. So it's very easy for you

974
00:45:41,994 --> 00:45:42,514
Speaker 4: to judge me.

975
00:45:43,194 --> 00:45:45,594
Speaker 1: Is it set Obviously Satus is Australia, but is it

976
00:45:45,634 --> 00:45:47,274
Speaker 1: set in Australia, England.

977
00:45:46,954 --> 00:45:49,474
Speaker 2: America, America. There's a city in it.

978
00:45:49,474 --> 00:45:51,114
Speaker 4: I can't work out what city it's set in, but

979
00:45:51,194 --> 00:45:54,594
Speaker 4: kind of generic like city in America. But there are

980
00:45:54,594 --> 00:45:57,274
Speaker 4: these snippets. People are probably seen clips of it going

981
00:45:57,354 --> 00:46:00,953
Speaker 4: viral online. There's a great scene with Jenny played by

982
00:46:01,034 --> 00:46:05,794
Speaker 4: Dakota Fanning, where she just goes on this rant about

983
00:46:05,834 --> 00:46:09,794
Speaker 4: how when she has spare time, it's used to book

984
00:46:09,954 --> 00:46:12,554
Speaker 4: doctor's appointments, or to clean, or to cook, or to

985
00:46:13,274 --> 00:46:16,834
Speaker 4: organize her child's stuff. And when her husband has spare time,

986
00:46:17,194 --> 00:46:19,634
Speaker 4: he can go to the gym watch a football game.

987
00:46:19,754 --> 00:46:22,074
Speaker 4: Like it's just the idea of spare time. All leisure

988
00:46:22,154 --> 00:46:24,754
Speaker 4: time does not exist when you're a working mum. So

989
00:46:25,114 --> 00:46:27,274
Speaker 4: that's what I love about it, that there is that

990
00:46:27,434 --> 00:46:31,154
Speaker 4: idea of women getting blamed when the fight. Yes, you're

991
00:46:31,154 --> 00:46:33,953
Speaker 4: trying to juggle a million ball, so really gets the

992
00:46:34,154 --> 00:46:36,674
Speaker 4: frustration and guilt of working motherhood.

993
00:46:36,754 --> 00:46:40,154
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I want to watch it. I've got

994
00:46:40,154 --> 00:46:44,033
Speaker 1: a beauty recommendation and I am recommending we have a prop.

995
00:46:44,114 --> 00:46:45,794
Speaker 1: We have a prop because I had to show you

996
00:46:45,874 --> 00:46:48,034
Speaker 1: how squeezed out it is, right, like this is the

997
00:46:48,074 --> 00:46:50,674
Speaker 1: real deal. And also because I can never remember what

998
00:46:50,714 --> 00:46:53,354
Speaker 1: it's called, but it's called and I wrote it down

999
00:46:53,354 --> 00:47:00,714
Speaker 1: so i'd pronounce it correctly because it's ombriolis lake crem concentret. Oh,

1000
00:47:00,754 --> 00:47:04,234
Speaker 1: it's a moisture. But this is one of those products,

1001
00:47:04,314 --> 00:47:07,034
Speaker 1: right that it's called a cult product. It's a French

1002
00:47:07,194 --> 00:47:10,674
Speaker 1: pharmacy product. It's always in cool people's handbags. Makeup artists

1003
00:47:10,714 --> 00:47:13,434
Speaker 1: always have it. But actually it costs less than forty

1004
00:47:13,434 --> 00:47:15,393
Speaker 1: bucks and you can get it it can you to

1005
00:47:15,474 --> 00:47:19,114
Speaker 1: work out price line or wherever you want to get

1006
00:47:19,154 --> 00:47:21,994
Speaker 1: it from. It's great, right, So this little tube I got,

1007
00:47:22,034 --> 00:47:23,953
Speaker 1: the little one, keep it in my makeup bag and

1008
00:47:23,994 --> 00:47:26,954
Speaker 1: it saves my life all the time because it is

1009
00:47:26,994 --> 00:47:30,154
Speaker 1: a moisturizer and it's really beautiful, and it's the reason

1010
00:47:30,154 --> 00:47:32,354
Speaker 1: it's always in a makeup artist's bag, and that's the

1011
00:47:32,354 --> 00:47:34,114
Speaker 1: first place I saw it when we're getting done for

1012
00:47:34,194 --> 00:47:36,674
Speaker 1: like a shoot for out Loud or whatever. Is because

1013
00:47:36,714 --> 00:47:39,434
Speaker 1: they say it's the best under makeup. It's like a primer.

1014
00:47:40,274 --> 00:47:42,873
Speaker 1: So it's a moisturizer, a beautiful, rich moisturizer, but it's

1015
00:47:42,914 --> 00:47:46,394
Speaker 1: also a primer. It also works really well for taking

1016
00:47:46,434 --> 00:47:49,354
Speaker 1: makeup off. It's a multi use product. They say it's

1017
00:47:49,354 --> 00:47:52,154
Speaker 1: also really good after shaving if you're shaving your skin

1018
00:47:52,194 --> 00:47:53,714
Speaker 1: and you want to use it for that. And I

1019
00:47:53,834 --> 00:47:56,473
Speaker 1: pull it out of my bag. I reckon four times

1020
00:47:56,514 --> 00:47:58,194
Speaker 1: a day. I'm often on the road, as you know,

1021
00:47:58,234 --> 00:48:00,274
Speaker 1: like coming up and down from where I live, and

1022
00:48:00,354 --> 00:48:02,194
Speaker 1: so I'll be like putting it on in the car

1023
00:48:02,274 --> 00:48:04,594
Speaker 1: before I put my makeup on, or I just feel

1024
00:48:04,594 --> 00:48:06,434
Speaker 1: like it's been ages since I've moisturizer. You put it on,

1025
00:48:06,554 --> 00:48:09,154
Speaker 1: put it on my head if they're too dry, use

1026
00:48:09,194 --> 00:48:10,754
Speaker 1: it to take off my eyeline like.

1027
00:48:10,674 --> 00:48:11,834
Speaker 3: It's I love products like that.

1028
00:48:11,874 --> 00:48:14,154
Speaker 1: It's a multi product and you feel cool because it

1029
00:48:14,194 --> 00:48:16,794
Speaker 1: seems like a trendy French thing. But it's not expensive,

1030
00:48:16,834 --> 00:48:19,074
Speaker 1: so you can buy it and heaps of places. It

1031
00:48:19,194 --> 00:48:21,914
Speaker 1: ranges between about twenty bucks for this size to forty

1032
00:48:21,954 --> 00:48:24,354
Speaker 1: bucks for a full size, and it's often on special

1033
00:48:24,394 --> 00:48:26,754
Speaker 1: and it's really good. So that is my tip.

1034
00:48:26,794 --> 00:48:27,953
Speaker 3: I need to buy there right now.

1035
00:48:28,194 --> 00:48:29,194
Speaker 1: It's called Ombre.

1036
00:48:30,114 --> 00:48:33,433
Speaker 2: You do look very gay and hydrated and French. Yeah,

1037
00:48:33,594 --> 00:48:36,194
Speaker 2: it turns you French. That's the room, that's the rumor.

1038
00:48:36,474 --> 00:48:42,873
Speaker 1: It's turned me cooler along with my midlife Truckstan. Thank

1039
00:48:42,914 --> 00:48:45,274
Speaker 1: you out louders for being here with us today and

1040
00:48:45,394 --> 00:48:48,114
Speaker 1: being with us all week. And to you Claire Stephens

1041
00:48:48,114 --> 00:48:50,514
Speaker 1: for filling in for your sister Jesse. It's been so

1042
00:48:50,634 --> 00:48:51,754
Speaker 1: nice to have you back in the chair.

1043
00:48:51,874 --> 00:48:52,594
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.

1044
00:48:52,674 --> 00:48:53,074
Speaker 3: Guys.

1045
00:48:53,834 --> 00:48:56,593
Speaker 1: Remember you can watch us on YouTube if you want

1046
00:48:56,634 --> 00:48:58,834
Speaker 1: to see that meme that we were talking about that

1047
00:48:58,914 --> 00:49:01,714
Speaker 1: Clare's in or you want to see my excellent screen

1048
00:49:01,874 --> 00:49:04,034
Speaker 1: statube or just EM's.

1049
00:49:03,754 --> 00:49:06,074
Speaker 3: Gloriousness still not wearing a rap always there.

1050
00:49:07,234 --> 00:49:09,393
Speaker 1: You told Claire about our book club that she's not

1051
00:49:09,434 --> 00:49:12,634
Speaker 1: a part of. Sorry, I feel like author Clas Stevens,

1052
00:49:12,634 --> 00:49:13,634
Speaker 1: we didn't invite.

1053
00:49:13,314 --> 00:49:16,354
Speaker 4: You, well, virtually part of it. I'm following along. I

1054
00:49:16,394 --> 00:49:17,393
Speaker 4: know what book you're doing.

1055
00:49:17,554 --> 00:49:18,634
Speaker 1: Have you read it? You read?

1056
00:49:19,274 --> 00:49:22,274
Speaker 3: Of course, I want to know your thoughts immediately. But

1057
00:49:22,314 --> 00:49:24,154
Speaker 3: we are doing a book club. It's all thanks to

1058
00:49:24,234 --> 00:49:26,993
Speaker 3: Royal Caribbean and our first book is All Fours by

1059
00:49:27,074 --> 00:49:30,754
Speaker 3: Miranda July. It comes out on the thirtieth of November,

1060
00:49:30,834 --> 00:49:32,234
Speaker 3: so you have a week in a bit to get

1061
00:49:32,314 --> 00:49:34,154
Speaker 3: the book read. If you haven't me.

1062
00:49:34,394 --> 00:49:36,994
Speaker 1: We will soon be telling you what the next one

1063
00:49:37,074 --> 00:49:38,554
Speaker 1: is going to be, and you'll have a month in

1064
00:49:38,594 --> 00:49:42,714
Speaker 1: between our episode about All Fours to read the next one. Now,

1065
00:49:42,754 --> 00:49:45,754
Speaker 1: what's been really interesting is that out louders have had,

1066
00:49:45,914 --> 00:49:48,714
Speaker 1: like the world did, a lot of really different opinions

1067
00:49:48,714 --> 00:49:51,114
Speaker 1: about All Fours. It's one of those books. Some people

1068
00:49:51,234 --> 00:49:53,274
Speaker 1: love it, some people are like it drove me crazy.

1069
00:49:53,474 --> 00:49:55,714
Speaker 1: But those are the best books to discuss in a

1070
00:49:55,714 --> 00:49:59,674
Speaker 1: book club, So come for it. Read along, come and

1071
00:49:59,714 --> 00:50:03,114
Speaker 1: share your thoughts with us. We cannot wait. Claire read

1072
00:50:03,154 --> 00:50:03,674
Speaker 1: us out.

1073
00:50:04,034 --> 00:50:06,714
Speaker 3: A big, big, big thank you to our team, A

1074
00:50:06,794 --> 00:50:11,154
Speaker 3: Group executive producer Ruth Devine and our executive producer Sasha Tanic.

1075
00:50:11,354 --> 00:50:14,914
Speaker 4: Our senior audio producer is Leah Porge's, our video producer

1076
00:50:14,994 --> 00:50:19,114
Speaker 4: is Josh Green, and our junior content producer is Tessa Kodovic.

1077
00:50:19,714 --> 00:50:22,234
Speaker 4: Out Louders if you're looking for something else to listen to.

1078
00:50:22,474 --> 00:50:26,194
Speaker 4: On yesterday's Subscribe episode, we talked about things that are

1079
00:50:26,314 --> 00:50:31,474
Speaker 4: embarrassing but shouldn't be, and we squirreled away and wrote

1080
00:50:31,554 --> 00:50:32,834
Speaker 4: never ending lists.

1081
00:50:32,914 --> 00:50:34,154
Speaker 3: I just pretty much wrote all.

1082
00:50:34,074 --> 00:50:37,594
Speaker 4: Mysa, and we need to know what yours are. We

1083
00:50:37,634 --> 00:50:39,393
Speaker 4: need to know if you agree with ours. There's a

1084
00:50:39,434 --> 00:50:41,274
Speaker 4: link to subscribe in the show notes.

1085
00:50:41,434 --> 00:50:46,034
Speaker 1: Bye bye bye.

1086
00:50:48,274 --> 00:50:51,234
Speaker 3: Mamma. May acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on

1087
00:50:51,274 --> 00:50:52,913
Speaker 3: which we have recorded this podcast.