1 00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:21,610 Speaker 1: So much. 2 00:00:21,650 --> 00:00:24,370 Speaker 2: You're listening to another Mia podcast. 3 00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:28,450 Speaker 3: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We 4 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,930 Speaker 3: have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the 5 00:00:31,970 --> 00:00:35,690 Speaker 3: Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past 6 00:00:35,730 --> 00:00:39,370 Speaker 3: and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 7 00:00:39,410 --> 00:00:40,970 Speaker 3: torrest Rate islander cultures. 8 00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:46,010 Speaker 2: Hello, this is Teakindatolly and Annaly's Todd from this Glorious Mess. 9 00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:46,770 Speaker 4: Now. 10 00:00:46,810 --> 00:00:50,690 Speaker 2: We know that you have older kids, but we wanted 11 00:00:50,690 --> 00:00:54,050 Speaker 2: to share an episode with you because it is universal. 12 00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:57,090 Speaker 2: It really is this time of year, end of year, 13 00:00:57,650 --> 00:01:01,530 Speaker 2: the overwhelm, the juggle, the struggle. It's real. 14 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:04,690 Speaker 4: We're being dragged over the finish line of twenty We're twenty. 15 00:01:04,850 --> 00:01:08,890 Speaker 5: Ling, we're dragging, we're gripping. Whatever it is you're doing, 16 00:01:09,050 --> 00:01:11,930 Speaker 5: let's do it together. We have a wonderful episode which 17 00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:12,890 Speaker 5: we're sure you'll love. 18 00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:15,170 Speaker 4: And it's not just us winging about being tired. 19 00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:17,970 Speaker 2: We actually have a professional and expert who knows a 20 00:01:17,970 --> 00:01:21,490 Speaker 2: lot more than us. It's Lauren Thornborough the Village, and 21 00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:25,530 Speaker 2: she's got some practical advice of how to actually get 22 00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:28,250 Speaker 2: you over the line of twenty twenty four and just 23 00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:30,050 Speaker 2: smooth sailing into twenty twenty five. 24 00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:30,850 Speaker 4: We hope you. 25 00:01:30,930 --> 00:01:42,170 Speaker 5: Enjoy Hello and welcome to this glorious mess. We're embracing 26 00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:45,170 Speaker 5: the chaos together, ditching the judgment. I am taking the 27 00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:49,490 Speaker 5: tolly and I'm slowly but surely working my way throughout 28 00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:55,690 Speaker 5: every Christmas concert, finale, school presentation, friend, family, Christmas shindig. 29 00:01:55,770 --> 00:02:00,650 Speaker 2: There's still a bloody month to go. Oh I'm Annaly's todd, 30 00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:05,570 Speaker 2: I'm burnt out, I'm present, and I'm dragging myself across 31 00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:06,290 Speaker 2: the finish line. 32 00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,570 Speaker 5: Oh well, that seems right on point, because today on 33 00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:12,250 Speaker 5: the show, we're tired, and I don't think we're alone. 34 00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:14,010 Speaker 2: It's getting to that time of year. 35 00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:17,650 Speaker 5: Where everything starts to get just a bit hard. It's 36 00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:20,170 Speaker 5: the last week of November, but it feels like this 37 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:24,050 Speaker 5: year has been dragging on and maybe, just maybe you're 38 00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:25,890 Speaker 5: feeling a little bit overwhelmed. 39 00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:30,490 Speaker 2: How are you feeling, Anale? I have been feeling like 40 00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:36,010 Speaker 2: this since Halloween. Hmmm, this year particularly. 41 00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:36,090 Speaker 4: I don't know what. 42 00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:38,290 Speaker 2: And so many of my girlfriends have said the same 43 00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:42,490 Speaker 2: thing that this year everyone has felt end of year 44 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,570 Speaker 2: burnout since October. It's like Term three should have been 45 00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:46,370 Speaker 2: the end of the year. 46 00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:48,610 Speaker 4: Please and thank you, because you know how term four 47 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:49,450 Speaker 4: is always a right off. 48 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:54,050 Speaker 2: It's like your kids go for all, everyone so much 49 00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:57,610 Speaker 2: on for them. There's so much on for us. We're 50 00:02:57,650 --> 00:02:58,810 Speaker 2: not even there yet. 51 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:03,050 Speaker 4: There's so much want to go and so muchot to do. 52 00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:06,370 Speaker 5: Oh my god, And I just try and pretend that 53 00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:08,810 Speaker 5: I'm going away in December. So when people are like 54 00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:12,450 Speaker 5: you've got this catch up or work this or that 55 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,650 Speaker 5: this and that this, I'm like, can we just do 56 00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:17,130 Speaker 5: it in January when things are a little bit more. 57 00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:20,650 Speaker 2: Calm and you've got no plans? Like, what's the rush of. 58 00:03:20,690 --> 00:03:23,690 Speaker 4: Block out December? Yeah, tend you're away. 59 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,090 Speaker 2: Yeah that's what I do. Yeah, you could photo shop 60 00:03:26,130 --> 00:03:28,450 Speaker 2: yourself into holiday photos, post. 61 00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:30,010 Speaker 4: Them on Insta. No one will know. 62 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,850 Speaker 5: And also like, because my kids are January babies, I'm like, 63 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:36,490 Speaker 5: no one should have children in December because they're never 64 00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:39,090 Speaker 5: getting a party, or if they do, hardly anyone can 65 00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:42,890 Speaker 5: come to it. Our poor kids, our poor kids. Everyone's 66 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,850 Speaker 5: away or busy doing busy stuff. So we are going 67 00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:49,450 Speaker 5: to talk to someone who might be able to help us. 68 00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:51,250 Speaker 2: Please. Lauren Thornborough. 69 00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:55,410 Speaker 5: She co founded a company called the Village, which builds 70 00:03:55,410 --> 00:03:58,250 Speaker 5: a network to empower and support parents. 71 00:03:58,050 --> 00:04:00,490 Speaker 4: And as always we'll hear from our friends Sarah Marie. 72 00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:02,850 Speaker 2: But first, here's what's happening in my group chat. 73 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:05,810 Speaker 5: It's that time of year where you start thinking about 74 00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:10,210 Speaker 5: Christmas presents, of course, and like teachers, there's all different 75 00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:12,290 Speaker 5: types of teachers, aren't there. There's the school teachers, there's 76 00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:15,890 Speaker 5: the daycare teachers, there's the dance teachers, the whatever teachers. 77 00:04:15,930 --> 00:04:18,970 Speaker 4: But for your kids, maybe to. 78 00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:21,210 Speaker 2: Poor coaches or whatever. I don't know what you always do. 79 00:04:21,730 --> 00:04:24,450 Speaker 5: Anyway, I was starting to ask my group Chad, what's 80 00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:28,170 Speaker 5: some ideas for teachers school teachers? So apparently the department 81 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,850 Speaker 5: look at me. I'm getting all historical historian over here. 82 00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:35,010 Speaker 2: The Department of Education Code of Conduct specifies that it 83 00:04:35,090 --> 00:04:38,810 Speaker 2: needs to be under fifty dollars and cannot be cash. 84 00:04:38,970 --> 00:04:42,050 Speaker 4: Oh that's fun, sponge nanny state. 85 00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:42,530 Speaker 2: Isn't it. 86 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,810 Speaker 5: Teachers don't pay them enough at less you let them 87 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:49,250 Speaker 5: get a good gift, thank you. Yes, So some schools 88 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:53,170 Speaker 5: will not let teachers keep gifts from individual families. Above this, 89 00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:58,010 Speaker 5: some will look come on, they've. 90 00:04:57,810 --> 00:04:59,850 Speaker 4: Got to declare it like a healthcare professor. 91 00:05:00,610 --> 00:05:03,450 Speaker 5: So if it is, the teacher would have to declare 92 00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:07,130 Speaker 5: it to the department and fill out a form. But 93 00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:11,850 Speaker 5: the way to get Merry Christmas, here's some more admin like, 94 00:05:11,930 --> 00:05:12,770 Speaker 5: you don't do enough? 95 00:05:14,490 --> 00:05:18,050 Speaker 2: It was fifty one dollars. Here's a form. Who are 96 00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:20,130 Speaker 2: you to know the value of the gift? Yeah? 97 00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:21,810 Speaker 4: Sorry, thank you? How much did this cost? 98 00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:23,050 Speaker 2: Sorry? 99 00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:25,530 Speaker 5: Before I can accept this to you just taking an 100 00:05:25,530 --> 00:05:29,770 Speaker 5: inventory of all the gifts receiving Christmas receipt? Can you 101 00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:32,690 Speaker 5: ask your mum to bring in the receipt? I know 102 00:05:32,730 --> 00:05:34,090 Speaker 5: whether I have to declare. 103 00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:34,130 Speaker 2: It or not. 104 00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:37,890 Speaker 5: But there is a way which most classes and families 105 00:05:37,930 --> 00:05:39,770 Speaker 5: do it, and it's the you know, the group together. 106 00:05:40,410 --> 00:05:42,370 Speaker 4: There's the lea is the only way? 107 00:05:42,570 --> 00:05:42,730 Speaker 3: Is it? 108 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:47,530 Speaker 2: Someone for you? You'd be like Nicole has got this 109 00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:51,370 Speaker 2: Nicole of the school and the class is always on 110 00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:54,810 Speaker 2: to add your photo, You add your note and then 111 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:59,450 Speaker 2: send your money and just popular pay Apple pay and 112 00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:00,610 Speaker 2: it's done for you. 113 00:06:00,730 --> 00:06:02,610 Speaker 4: Thank you, Nicole, Thank you Nicolet. 114 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:05,770 Speaker 2: So they don't have to declare that they don't if 115 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:09,050 Speaker 2: being over fifty dollars, they don't because it's a grouped together. 116 00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:10,410 Speaker 4: This is the only one. 117 00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:12,850 Speaker 5: Are they going to sit down with the number of 118 00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,650 Speaker 5: kids in the class and divide it by fifty. I 119 00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:18,970 Speaker 5: don't know, but god, let's hope not. But we did 120 00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:21,610 Speaker 5: get some extra points from a teacher in terms of 121 00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:24,650 Speaker 5: what to give what not to give. Look, I'm surprised 122 00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:28,490 Speaker 5: her candle didn't. I was going to say she would 123 00:06:28,490 --> 00:06:30,690 Speaker 5: have been on that you do not give us another 124 00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:36,090 Speaker 5: efving candle. But she did say please no mugs or 125 00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:39,330 Speaker 5: plastic things. I'm not sure what plastic things really. 126 00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:43,050 Speaker 4: Mean, but things from like Sheen or like Timu. 127 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,610 Speaker 2: Yeah, plastic, yeah, like just bits and bops, pick and knack, 128 00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:52,250 Speaker 2: a brick, a bracket. Yeah. Plants are also great, that's lovely. 129 00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:56,410 Speaker 2: Homemade things are the cutest. And her best gift ever 130 00:06:56,890 --> 00:07:00,850 Speaker 2: was a class compiled a book of art pictures from 131 00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:02,810 Speaker 2: the year and they all signed it and it was 132 00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:06,250 Speaker 2: her favorite gift. But look, I think teachers deserve things. 133 00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:14,650 Speaker 4: Yeah, like the do the group present? Yeah. 134 00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:18,490 Speaker 5: Okay, So it is still only the end of November. 135 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,610 Speaker 5: How are we going to get through the next month? 136 00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:21,730 Speaker 4: I don't know. 137 00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:27,690 Speaker 5: Why does it feel like this last two months drags 138 00:07:27,730 --> 00:07:32,810 Speaker 5: on so long? I feel like I am mentally and 139 00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:38,730 Speaker 5: physically broken. It's beyond mental load, it's burnt out. It's 140 00:07:38,850 --> 00:07:42,370 Speaker 5: like the car has no petrol, but it's just being 141 00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:45,170 Speaker 5: pushed along like Dodge carts. But then you want to 142 00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:47,890 Speaker 5: know the worst thing, You're about to go up an incline, 143 00:07:47,970 --> 00:07:50,170 Speaker 5: so the car's run out of petrol and you're about 144 00:07:50,210 --> 00:07:51,650 Speaker 5: to push it up the incline. Because I feel like 145 00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:54,290 Speaker 5: at the moment, this is when it actually gets busier, 146 00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:56,650 Speaker 5: like this is the hectic part. Like this is like 147 00:07:56,970 --> 00:08:00,970 Speaker 5: the lead up to Christmas or the even more presentations 148 00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:04,370 Speaker 5: and school concerts, and you don't do the dance concerts, 149 00:08:04,370 --> 00:08:06,010 Speaker 5: but I've got the dance concerts. 150 00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:12,010 Speaker 2: And then there's like work things. Oh the Christmas pot 151 00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:14,410 Speaker 2: the one that hasn't organized because they're my bloody businesses. 152 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:15,090 Speaker 4: That's worse. 153 00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:16,130 Speaker 2: It's even worse. 154 00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:20,170 Speaker 5: And then like if you do Christmas, do you decorate 155 00:08:20,210 --> 00:08:23,410 Speaker 5: the house and get a tree? And oh, god forbid, 156 00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:25,530 Speaker 5: you're going on a family holiday at some point of 157 00:08:25,610 --> 00:08:27,650 Speaker 5: the breaks. I bet you're the one planning that too, 158 00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:31,210 Speaker 5: you know, like there it just is relentless and. 159 00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:33,970 Speaker 2: This is a really silly little thing. But I even 160 00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:36,570 Speaker 2: found the admin of getting in all of the end 161 00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:39,730 Speaker 2: of your appointments for the maintenance because it's very busy, 162 00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:42,810 Speaker 2: you know, like the hair appointments and getting the wax and. 163 00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:45,490 Speaker 5: Yeah, bits and pieces, and because they get very busy 164 00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:48,170 Speaker 5: because everyone's trying to do the same thing before, they've. 165 00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:51,890 Speaker 4: Got to time your hair growth. It's just too much. 166 00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:55,410 Speaker 5: It's so much, and not to mention, like as I 167 00:08:55,450 --> 00:08:58,810 Speaker 5: said before, being a business owner, this is our busiest 168 00:08:58,810 --> 00:09:02,370 Speaker 5: time of year. So like we're busy trying to be. 169 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:06,290 Speaker 2: Busy, yes, to make money, correct, Yes, and then it's like, oh, 170 00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:08,930 Speaker 2: hold on, there's seventy five other things I need to 171 00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:09,490 Speaker 2: do as well. 172 00:09:09,610 --> 00:09:11,010 Speaker 4: Do you know what's ridiculous? 173 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:15,610 Speaker 2: I could not even secure and this was, you know, 174 00:09:15,690 --> 00:09:18,330 Speaker 2: weeks and weeks ago. We tried to lock in in 175 00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:22,730 Speaker 2: a two month window frame catch up with my girlfriends 176 00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:25,610 Speaker 2: and our kids for Christmas, like a Christmas catch up 177 00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:29,610 Speaker 2: with my core village. Yes, there was fifty different poles 178 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,610 Speaker 2: we could not secure one day. So we're just not 179 00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:35,450 Speaker 2: doing it. Oh, we're grinching it because it was too hot. 180 00:09:35,610 --> 00:09:38,450 Speaker 2: I love a pole for a Christmas end of your thing. 181 00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:42,690 Speaker 2: I'm actually missing out on two of my main girl 182 00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:45,810 Speaker 2: group lunches, like I'm missing them. I'm sad I'm missing them, 183 00:09:45,810 --> 00:09:48,010 Speaker 2: but at the same time, I'm like, oh my gosh, 184 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,370 Speaker 2: like it's one less thing I need to do. But 185 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:53,970 Speaker 2: is it that you block out previous years or does 186 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,450 Speaker 2: this year just feel like. 187 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:58,210 Speaker 4: Tinsel on high octane. 188 00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:01,010 Speaker 2: Every year, baby every year? Or maybe I don't know. 189 00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:03,170 Speaker 5: Maybe for me, the kids are getting busier, whereas like 190 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,930 Speaker 5: when they're at daycare and they have one end of 191 00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:08,810 Speaker 5: your daycare party and that's it. Yeah, it's like school 192 00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:11,770 Speaker 5: is hectic at end of years. I feel like you 193 00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:15,890 Speaker 5: really dodge a bullet with boys in the sense that like, 194 00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:20,290 Speaker 5: although my eldest has his end of year six graduation formal, 195 00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:24,650 Speaker 5: that's cute and dance and I'm obviously insufferably excited. 196 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,650 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you got a date. 197 00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,450 Speaker 4: I can't reveal his personal life. 198 00:10:28,530 --> 00:10:30,690 Speaker 2: Oh but like did they do that these days? 199 00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:33,010 Speaker 4: Yeah, they ask someone to go with they. 200 00:10:32,970 --> 00:10:35,850 Speaker 2: Still do they give them like a flat I think 201 00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:38,930 Speaker 2: it's like Connell and Maryann from normal people. They don't 202 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:43,090 Speaker 2: actually interact in public, but like that's what all you, dick. 203 00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:46,730 Speaker 2: It's like the kid you never talked to, but like, oh, 204 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:50,850 Speaker 2: we're going together, but we won't actually one photo together 205 00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:53,010 Speaker 2: when we get there, and then we'll spend the rest 206 00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:55,290 Speaker 2: of the time with our friends and not even communicate 207 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:59,010 Speaker 2: and our parents will froth over it. Yeah, great days, 208 00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:07,610 Speaker 2: all right. 209 00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:10,770 Speaker 5: Despite all our bitching and moaning and whinging. 210 00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:13,170 Speaker 4: I'm sick of it. I'm sick of saying I'm tired. 211 00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:13,890 Speaker 4: I'm sick of it. 212 00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:16,930 Speaker 2: I'm sick and tired. I've a lesbian second. 213 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:22,770 Speaker 4: I need help do throw me alive. 214 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:25,370 Speaker 5: It's taken us till the end of November to find it. 215 00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:28,370 Speaker 5: But she's here and she's going to give us some advice. 216 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:31,850 Speaker 5: She's going to help us through because Lauren Thornborough is 217 00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:34,770 Speaker 5: a mum of two and the co founder of the village, 218 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:38,130 Speaker 5: and she is a big believer in parents finding a community. 219 00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:41,410 Speaker 2: Yes to help is the mental load? This is like 220 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:44,490 Speaker 2: something that you might granted yourself. 221 00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:45,890 Speaker 6: Ah. 222 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,330 Speaker 5: So we've got Lauren here today and we have got 223 00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:49,450 Speaker 5: some questions for her. 224 00:11:50,090 --> 00:11:54,530 Speaker 4: So Lauren, hello, Welcome to this glorious mess. 225 00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:57,210 Speaker 2: We are hoping that you can help us be less 226 00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,570 Speaker 2: of the mess more of the glorious. 227 00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:04,690 Speaker 4: Because mental load, it's evolved, hasn't it? We feel it? 228 00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:07,170 Speaker 4: But can you explain how and why? 229 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:07,410 Speaker 1: So? 230 00:12:07,650 --> 00:12:11,370 Speaker 7: Search terms for mental load actually have been increasing since 231 00:12:11,490 --> 00:12:15,170 Speaker 7: twenty seventeen, which, if you think about it, kind of 232 00:12:15,170 --> 00:12:18,450 Speaker 7: coincides with the rising cost of living and then if 233 00:12:18,450 --> 00:12:21,810 Speaker 7: you dig into that a bit more, Ever in history 234 00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:25,330 Speaker 7: have we had so many working parents in the workforce. 235 00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:29,730 Speaker 7: The Australian Bureau of Statistics has said that seventy three 236 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:35,690 Speaker 7: percent of couple households have both parents working in some capacity. Yeah, 237 00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:39,010 Speaker 7: and that's increased ten percent in the last nine years. 238 00:12:39,370 --> 00:12:41,730 Speaker 7: You know, we used to have a scenario where the 239 00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:44,210 Speaker 7: men would go out to work, the women would stay 240 00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:47,090 Speaker 7: at home. We would raise the kids in the village. 241 00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:50,250 Speaker 5: Until they get to school age or something, and we 242 00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:54,530 Speaker 5: would share the physical and the mental load of raising kids. 243 00:12:55,450 --> 00:13:00,130 Speaker 7: Where does that go? Women statistically take on the mental load. 244 00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:05,290 Speaker 7: So seventy eight percent of women either always taken on 245 00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:08,210 Speaker 7: or taken on in some capacity. Wow, so you know 246 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:09,530 Speaker 7: our brains are. 247 00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:13,770 Speaker 5: Full, Yes, the brain string, there's none left. So what 248 00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:16,810 Speaker 5: are some of the things that you've seen contribute to 249 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,290 Speaker 5: the mental load? Like, when you're talking about this mental load, 250 00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:20,210 Speaker 5: what does that look like? 251 00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:24,610 Speaker 7: Anticipating the planning and the scheduling, anything to do with 252 00:13:24,810 --> 00:13:29,410 Speaker 7: household chores, events or family needs. So if you think 253 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:32,490 Speaker 7: about it, it's did I r s VP to that party? 254 00:13:32,610 --> 00:13:34,330 Speaker 7: You know, when am I going to do my washing 255 00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:37,250 Speaker 7: this week? You know what dentists appointments do I have 256 00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:40,090 Speaker 7: coming up? Have I cut the kids' hair recently like. 257 00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:43,970 Speaker 4: A dentist for a while. 258 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:48,930 Speaker 2: My kids fringes down to their bottom lip. They need 259 00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:50,210 Speaker 2: gout so bad. 260 00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:54,410 Speaker 7: But then but then match that right with working, yes 261 00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:57,930 Speaker 7: on top, on top, and then unpaid care, like, that's 262 00:13:57,930 --> 00:14:01,970 Speaker 7: something else to consider here. So on average, women do 263 00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:05,730 Speaker 7: four hours of unpaid care the day and men do three. 264 00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,730 Speaker 7: And women are doing three hours of childcare and men 265 00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:13,450 Speaker 7: are doing two. So intertality, women are doing more paid 266 00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:17,810 Speaker 7: and unpaid work collectively than what men are. I'm tired 267 00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:18,530 Speaker 7: just thinking about that. 268 00:14:18,810 --> 00:14:23,450 Speaker 2: I've got anxiety. I would comfortably say that because we 269 00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:27,770 Speaker 2: talk about mental load blurring into burnt out. Yes, I 270 00:14:27,810 --> 00:14:31,130 Speaker 2: feel like I'm here, I'm at burnout. Yeah, how do 271 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,890 Speaker 2: you know the difference? Like, how do you get out 272 00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:37,050 Speaker 2: of burnt out? Back to managing the mental load? 273 00:14:38,050 --> 00:14:40,090 Speaker 7: I mean, I don't know about getting out of burnout, 274 00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:43,290 Speaker 7: but there's certainly tactics that you can the ones that 275 00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:46,530 Speaker 7: are you are in control of of, And then there's 276 00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:49,810 Speaker 7: one sort of structural in society that need to change. 277 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:53,810 Speaker 7: So in terms of what you can control like communication 278 00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:56,610 Speaker 7: with yourself and your partner. Maybe that's not necessarily your 279 00:14:56,650 --> 00:15:00,010 Speaker 7: case on a least, but to talk about in totally 280 00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:04,970 Speaker 7: what are you managing together? What's yours, what's theirs? Write 281 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:05,370 Speaker 7: a list? 282 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,250 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I need to do if you. 283 00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:09,410 Speaker 7: Can't write a list, because I thought about that and 284 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,450 Speaker 7: I'm exhausted at the prospect of putting a list on 285 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:15,330 Speaker 7: my mental load list. There's this brilliant book called fair 286 00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:18,610 Speaker 7: Play that Eve Rodsky wrote, and she has cards so 287 00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:21,730 Speaker 7: you can visually see the things that are on your 288 00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:24,610 Speaker 7: list and you can use that as a talking point 289 00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:27,850 Speaker 7: or a way to structure your mental load. So I 290 00:15:27,930 --> 00:15:29,850 Speaker 7: like to think about it in three buckets, right, what 291 00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:32,650 Speaker 7: do I need to do today? What's vital today? 292 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:36,530 Speaker 2: Micro break it down. It feels less just today. I 293 00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:39,010 Speaker 2: feel less anxious thinking about just today. 294 00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:41,370 Speaker 5: And I feel like once you achieve one thing, then 295 00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:43,250 Speaker 5: everything else seems less overwhelming. 296 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,130 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got that done, So okay, that's the less 297 00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:48,170 Speaker 2: they're going to do. Yeah, so we break down by 298 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:49,370 Speaker 2: today and then what's next? 299 00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:52,490 Speaker 7: Set a reminder for the next thing. I love my 300 00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:56,170 Speaker 7: phone calendar invites. My husband always jokes that you know, oh, 301 00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:58,370 Speaker 7: you've invited to take your pill this evening. 302 00:16:00,050 --> 00:16:04,690 Speaker 2: Well, you don't want me to forget that. 303 00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:06,410 Speaker 7: But yeah, like find ways to remind yourself later, or 304 00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:08,530 Speaker 7: is it really necessary right now? 305 00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,730 Speaker 2: Like am I gonna lie on my deathbed and. 306 00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:13,090 Speaker 7: Think, Oh, I should have organized one hundred and fifty 307 00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:16,730 Speaker 7: play dates for my kids versus nine hundred Finding ways 308 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:20,450 Speaker 7: to be in control of it and hack your way 309 00:16:20,970 --> 00:16:23,490 Speaker 7: out of it. So I have a friend of mine. 310 00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:25,130 Speaker 7: She just does washing on Wednesdays. 311 00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:27,290 Speaker 4: That's it, so you don't have to think. 312 00:16:27,330 --> 00:16:28,890 Speaker 7: Don't have to think about it six other days of 313 00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:32,210 Speaker 7: the week. You know. I find a successful toy, I 314 00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:35,290 Speaker 7: just buy that toy for every birthday party thereafter. 315 00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:37,530 Speaker 2: For the rest of it, I must. I've got go 316 00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:39,930 Speaker 2: tos for birthday parties. It's like you're all getting the 317 00:16:39,930 --> 00:16:40,370 Speaker 2: same thing. 318 00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:41,930 Speaker 4: I'm at cash stage. 319 00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:45,650 Speaker 7: Yes, even pay for parking if that helps you get 320 00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:47,890 Speaker 7: to work in a less stressful way, if. 321 00:16:47,730 --> 00:16:50,650 Speaker 2: You can, and then cut back in other ways. Yeah, delegate, 322 00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:53,090 Speaker 2: I buy a coffee. You know, you can bring your 323 00:16:53,090 --> 00:16:53,570 Speaker 2: own lunch. 324 00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:57,250 Speaker 7: Yeah, but it takes structure, I guess. But it's so 325 00:16:57,690 --> 00:17:02,650 Speaker 7: important because burnout is one thing, but mental load has 326 00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:06,370 Speaker 7: been linked to mental health issues. So increase in anxiety, 327 00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:11,330 Speaker 7: increase in depression. You know we are getting less sleep. Yes, 328 00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,290 Speaker 7: the people that take on the mental load because you're 329 00:17:13,370 --> 00:17:14,810 Speaker 7: up thinking about all the things. 330 00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:19,610 Speaker 5: And I think that very famous viral video of Maggie 331 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:23,490 Speaker 5: Dent talking to Kate Richie about how our mother's mind 332 00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:26,410 Speaker 5: at night ticks that along at two am, thinking about 333 00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:29,410 Speaker 5: oh did I give them my kid enough broccoli? Or 334 00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:32,130 Speaker 5: did I got to book my eyebrows in for a wax? 335 00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:33,090 Speaker 5: And you know the men. 336 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,290 Speaker 2: Are sitting there going, is that what you guys like do? 337 00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:38,330 Speaker 2: Like that's the mental load, especially of a mother. It's 338 00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:40,490 Speaker 2: almost like, I feel like getting it out of our 339 00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:43,850 Speaker 2: head could benefit us so much. I'm a big pen 340 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:47,770 Speaker 2: and paper girl, so I carry around a notepad. I 341 00:17:47,770 --> 00:17:50,450 Speaker 2: love my phone and reminders and calendars and stuff like that, 342 00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:53,650 Speaker 2: but I love to just have something physically in front 343 00:17:53,650 --> 00:17:56,450 Speaker 2: of me that I can cross off or add two, 344 00:17:57,130 --> 00:18:00,170 Speaker 2: that I can see next to whatever I'm doing, because 345 00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:02,570 Speaker 2: to get it out of my head. So if I'm 346 00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:04,050 Speaker 2: thinking about it, rather. 347 00:18:03,930 --> 00:18:06,090 Speaker 5: Than go oh god, you know like we did before 348 00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:09,130 Speaker 5: the dentist, We've got to do that, pop it down. 349 00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:10,690 Speaker 5: So then I'm like, Okay, now it's out of my 350 00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:12,250 Speaker 5: head and onto the pay this. 351 00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,250 Speaker 2: And also I like the idea of the cards because 352 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,490 Speaker 2: then once you've achieved it, you can set on fire. 353 00:18:18,650 --> 00:18:19,050 Speaker 4: Burn it. 354 00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:22,130 Speaker 2: No more mental burn out because I've just burnt all 355 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:22,730 Speaker 2: the tasks. 356 00:18:22,730 --> 00:18:25,250 Speaker 5: Bethany Frankel, I know she used to be like one 357 00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:28,490 Speaker 5: of the Housewives of New York. Yeah, I love her too, 358 00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:31,250 Speaker 5: and she's wonderful business onman, but she's obsessed with organization. 359 00:18:31,970 --> 00:18:34,850 Speaker 5: And similarly to what you said, like what's on your 360 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:35,570 Speaker 5: to do bucket? 361 00:18:35,570 --> 00:18:36,570 Speaker 2: In your to do to bucket? 362 00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:39,330 Speaker 5: Yep, you know, when she's talking about organization, she's like, 363 00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:42,410 Speaker 5: pick one draw for the day. When you're like, Okay, 364 00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,930 Speaker 5: I need to sort my house out or I've got clutter, 365 00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:47,210 Speaker 5: I've got mess she's like, don't be like I'm going 366 00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,010 Speaker 5: to clean the whole kitchen today. Give yourself one draw 367 00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:52,610 Speaker 5: and say today I'm going to clean that draw, and 368 00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,850 Speaker 5: then the next day do that cupboard. Like, just go 369 00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,970 Speaker 5: one bit at a time and eventually you'll get there. 370 00:18:57,050 --> 00:18:58,850 Speaker 5: Probably by the time you finish it all, we'll be messaging. 371 00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:02,570 Speaker 5: But like, I like the compartmentalizing it because I think 372 00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:07,610 Speaker 5: it breaks it down into smaller, more achievable things as 373 00:19:07,650 --> 00:19:12,170 Speaker 5: opposed to this huge mountain swimming and drowned crap that 374 00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:13,770 Speaker 5: we've got to get through well sort out. 375 00:19:13,890 --> 00:19:16,530 Speaker 2: Yeah, so break it down. What do I have to 376 00:19:16,570 --> 00:19:20,050 Speaker 2: do today? Write everything down in a list or on 377 00:19:20,170 --> 00:19:22,090 Speaker 2: car See I'm really learning here. 378 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:25,010 Speaker 7: Delegate if you can. Oh, oh, that's a good one, 379 00:19:25,090 --> 00:19:29,810 Speaker 7: because there's notion of maternal gatekeeping. I hate that terminology, 380 00:19:29,850 --> 00:19:33,850 Speaker 7: but it's that women are responsible for the nutritional outcomes 381 00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:37,450 Speaker 7: of the household. You know, they're responsible for the way 382 00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:40,090 Speaker 7: kids look as they walk out the door, Like how 383 00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:42,770 Speaker 7: many times have you heard, oh, dad must have dressed them. 384 00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,050 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. 385 00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:45,770 Speaker 4: Anyway, I can. 386 00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:51,290 Speaker 7: So like get a meal delivery service if that takes 387 00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:55,370 Speaker 7: that mental load off your plate of it. There's so 388 00:19:55,490 --> 00:19:59,250 Speaker 7: much pressure when driven a little bit by social media. 389 00:19:59,330 --> 00:20:03,570 Speaker 7: Let's be honest to adhere to these kind of crazy standards. 390 00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:05,130 Speaker 7: Take the pressure off. 391 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:08,930 Speaker 2: Yeah. It's funny because I think outsourcing used to be bougie, 392 00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:11,130 Speaker 2: Like I feel like if someone else was doing your 393 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,730 Speaker 2: washing or you were getting meals delivered, that's fancy, you know, 394 00:20:14,850 --> 00:20:19,450 Speaker 2: whereas now there are affordable outsourcing and if not by 395 00:20:19,490 --> 00:20:22,210 Speaker 2: doing maybe one of those weekly meal things like Hello 396 00:20:22,290 --> 00:20:25,170 Speaker 2: Fresh or something like that it's saving money on groceries, 397 00:20:25,210 --> 00:20:26,930 Speaker 2: it's more convenient, it's delivered you to do all this 398 00:20:26,930 --> 00:20:29,490 Speaker 2: sounds like an ad, it's not. But what I'm saying is, 399 00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:33,330 Speaker 2: once upon a time, outsourcing was a more expensive and 400 00:20:33,370 --> 00:20:36,210 Speaker 2: sometimes not an option for a lot of people. But 401 00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:39,810 Speaker 2: sometimes now I think, if it's saving your time so 402 00:20:39,850 --> 00:20:40,770 Speaker 2: that you're able to. 403 00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:45,010 Speaker 5: Work more or be more present, be more present, is it? 404 00:20:45,050 --> 00:20:46,570 Speaker 5: Is it a luxury? I don't think it is. 405 00:20:46,610 --> 00:20:49,570 Speaker 2: I think it's something that we need to actually cope 406 00:20:49,570 --> 00:20:52,450 Speaker 2: with this load or even like bringing the village into it, 407 00:20:52,570 --> 00:20:54,850 Speaker 2: something that is on my mental load list that I 408 00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:57,170 Speaker 2: haven't done. I'm going to start doing it next year. 409 00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,490 Speaker 2: Is I've talked with my girlfriends about doing like meal 410 00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:03,810 Speaker 2: prep and mimosa days, where like everyone gets together on 411 00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:06,650 Speaker 2: a Sunday and you cook up a massive thing of 412 00:21:06,730 --> 00:21:08,810 Speaker 2: bolonnaise and maybe you do a shepherd's pie with the 413 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:12,490 Speaker 2: other mints, and everyone's chopping and it's literally like you know, 414 00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:15,970 Speaker 2: many hands like and it's fun because it's social. Everyone 415 00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:19,330 Speaker 2: brings ingredients, drag and so it's you know, it's cost effective, 416 00:21:19,370 --> 00:21:21,290 Speaker 2: it's social and meal prepping. 417 00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:24,610 Speaker 7: Yeah, great idea. I mean, I think we need the village. 418 00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:26,810 Speaker 7: There was a reason why we had a village for 419 00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:27,370 Speaker 7: so long. 420 00:21:27,650 --> 00:21:28,610 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not going. 421 00:21:28,570 --> 00:21:30,570 Speaker 7: To help with the mental low, but it's going to 422 00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:34,650 Speaker 7: help with the mental health issues associated around it, right, 423 00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:39,130 Speaker 7: Like how good does it feel to share dump vent 424 00:21:39,370 --> 00:21:43,490 Speaker 7: whatever it might be two girlfriends, two therapists, and you 425 00:21:43,490 --> 00:21:46,850 Speaker 7: know from a working capacity, like find your village at work, 426 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,170 Speaker 7: people that are like, I'll take that meeting. I'll give 427 00:21:49,170 --> 00:21:51,050 Speaker 7: you the notes afterwards, so you don't have to add 428 00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:53,410 Speaker 7: it to your list. Like there is so much value 429 00:21:53,450 --> 00:21:56,610 Speaker 7: in community that I think we've kind of underestimated up 430 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:57,370 Speaker 7: until this point. 431 00:21:57,730 --> 00:22:00,410 Speaker 2: I'm feeling better. How are you feeling? And Elise, I'm 432 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,090 Speaker 2: just You've got a plan of attack one day at 433 00:22:03,130 --> 00:22:05,610 Speaker 2: a time. I'm going to write my giant list and 434 00:22:05,610 --> 00:22:09,050 Speaker 2: then I'm going to micro break it down and just 435 00:22:09,050 --> 00:22:12,050 Speaker 2: think about each day because I really do need to 436 00:22:12,210 --> 00:22:15,330 Speaker 2: get I think we all do. And Lauren, do you 437 00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:17,650 Speaker 2: have any other final tips for our listeners today to 438 00:22:17,690 --> 00:22:21,530 Speaker 2: get through the rest of this year, across this silly season, 439 00:22:21,610 --> 00:22:25,330 Speaker 2: across the school holidays that we've got coming up. Any 440 00:22:25,370 --> 00:22:26,170 Speaker 2: words of wisdom? 441 00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:29,330 Speaker 7: There is no shame in asking for help. 442 00:22:29,450 --> 00:22:30,210 Speaker 2: Oh I love that? 443 00:22:30,530 --> 00:22:35,130 Speaker 7: And relying on the village or just deprioritizing things that 444 00:22:35,210 --> 00:22:37,930 Speaker 7: are not important. Putting yourself first. 445 00:22:37,970 --> 00:22:38,890 Speaker 4: Self care is. 446 00:22:38,850 --> 00:22:42,570 Speaker 7: One thing that goes a lot in terms of when 447 00:22:42,610 --> 00:22:46,610 Speaker 7: people are working, childcare, unpaid work. It's that long list again. 448 00:22:46,690 --> 00:22:49,610 Speaker 7: But you need to prioritize yourself because if you're not 449 00:22:49,610 --> 00:22:52,450 Speaker 7: putting your own oxygen mask on, then you can't help 450 00:22:52,490 --> 00:22:53,330 Speaker 7: others around you. 451 00:22:53,770 --> 00:22:58,930 Speaker 2: Yeah, boundaries and saying no yes. Love that well, Lauren, 452 00:22:58,970 --> 00:23:01,130 Speaker 2: thank you so much for joining us today. You have 453 00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:03,730 Speaker 2: been a wealth of knowledge, and I'm feeling my load 454 00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:04,290 Speaker 2: a little lighter. 455 00:23:04,330 --> 00:23:05,330 Speaker 4: I'm feeling less anxious. 456 00:23:05,330 --> 00:23:10,010 Speaker 2: Okay, good, good, great good. We're gonna go often, right, listen. 457 00:23:09,810 --> 00:23:20,250 Speaker 4: Some hiatt Sarah Marie. 458 00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:24,730 Speaker 6: Hi, Sarah Marie, Am I in the wrong here? My neighbor, 459 00:23:24,850 --> 00:23:28,450 Speaker 6: who is just a neighbor, she's not a friend, doesn't drive. 460 00:23:29,130 --> 00:23:31,530 Speaker 6: She said to me that she's scared of driving and 461 00:23:31,570 --> 00:23:34,450 Speaker 6: she isn't taking any lessons or trying to get her license. 462 00:23:34,810 --> 00:23:37,290 Speaker 6: So she asked me if I would drive her child 463 00:23:37,330 --> 00:23:39,610 Speaker 6: to school for a few weeks, as our kids go 464 00:23:39,730 --> 00:23:43,090 Speaker 6: to the same school. It's now been a year and 465 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:47,410 Speaker 6: I feel stuck with this responsibility because even when my 466 00:23:47,530 --> 00:23:50,410 Speaker 6: kids are sick, I still have to do the school run. 467 00:23:50,850 --> 00:23:54,410 Speaker 6: I feel frustrated and over it, especially with all the 468 00:23:54,930 --> 00:23:57,890 Speaker 6: added time I have waiting around for them each morning. 469 00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:01,130 Speaker 6: Am I being unreasonable for feeling fed up? 470 00:24:01,970 --> 00:24:04,650 Speaker 2: Look? No, you're not unreasonable for feeling fed up. 471 00:24:05,050 --> 00:24:07,450 Speaker 1: And I think what's making you fed up is it 472 00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:10,130 Speaker 1: sounds like you're having to wait for her child. So 473 00:24:10,290 --> 00:24:13,610 Speaker 1: if it's making you late, that's unacceptable because you're doing 474 00:24:13,690 --> 00:24:16,410 Speaker 1: them a favor. Secondly, if your children are sick, that 475 00:24:16,530 --> 00:24:18,730 Speaker 1: is not on you to take her child to school, 476 00:24:18,810 --> 00:24:22,170 Speaker 1: because your children are your response ability. There's no way 477 00:24:22,290 --> 00:24:24,650 Speaker 1: you would have me taking someone else's kids to school 478 00:24:24,650 --> 00:24:26,730 Speaker 1: if my kids were sick. So maybe you should just 479 00:24:26,810 --> 00:24:29,450 Speaker 1: alter it where rather than being like, hey, I'm not 480 00:24:29,490 --> 00:24:31,010 Speaker 1: going to take your kids to school, the kid goes 481 00:24:31,050 --> 00:24:33,170 Speaker 1: to the same school as your kid, it's not actually 482 00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:36,410 Speaker 1: that bad a thing to do, especially if your kids 483 00:24:36,490 --> 00:24:39,130 Speaker 1: enjoy having that child with them in the carts like 484 00:24:39,130 --> 00:24:41,290 Speaker 1: a little thing for them. I would just be like, hey, 485 00:24:41,330 --> 00:24:43,570 Speaker 1: we need to leave it this time. Just be very 486 00:24:43,570 --> 00:24:46,170 Speaker 1: clear with your boundaries. Anytime after that, we've actually got 487 00:24:46,170 --> 00:24:47,330 Speaker 1: to go because I've got things to do. 488 00:24:47,410 --> 00:24:47,970 Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. 489 00:24:47,970 --> 00:24:50,490 Speaker 1: You don't need to explain yourself more than that, we 490 00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:52,130 Speaker 1: need to leave it this time. We can't be late. 491 00:24:52,170 --> 00:24:53,850 Speaker 1: If we're late, I'm sorry. I've got to go and 492 00:24:53,970 --> 00:24:56,850 Speaker 1: stick to that. If the kid is late, be like, 493 00:24:56,890 --> 00:25:00,090 Speaker 1: we're leaving now and just go. And if your kids 494 00:25:00,090 --> 00:25:02,650 Speaker 1: are sick, just tell her, hey, little ones are sick. 495 00:25:02,690 --> 00:25:04,890 Speaker 1: I won't be able to take your little ones to 496 00:25:05,010 --> 00:25:05,650 Speaker 1: school today. 497 00:25:06,370 --> 00:25:06,730 Speaker 2: That's it. 498 00:25:06,810 --> 00:25:08,690 Speaker 1: Just put your foot down and have your boundaries. 499 00:25:08,770 --> 00:25:09,130 Speaker 2: That's it. 500 00:25:09,370 --> 00:25:13,010 Speaker 1: I don't think she would be non understanding to that. 501 00:25:13,330 --> 00:25:16,130 Speaker 1: I think on your neighbor's point, she just thinks it's 502 00:25:16,210 --> 00:25:18,650 Speaker 1: fine that there is no issues, especially if you haven't 503 00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:22,330 Speaker 1: communicated that to her or you haven't put your boundary up. 504 00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:25,130 Speaker 1: She probably just thinks it's great. Kids enjoy going to school, 505 00:25:25,170 --> 00:25:27,050 Speaker 1: they go to school together. I've got my neighborhood drives 506 00:25:27,050 --> 00:25:30,610 Speaker 1: the kids like. She's probably thinking nothing of it. So yeah, 507 00:25:30,610 --> 00:25:34,170 Speaker 1: I don't think there's a problem driving. Just set your 508 00:25:34,170 --> 00:25:36,850 Speaker 1: boundaries up and make sure you're not late. You're not 509 00:25:36,890 --> 00:25:40,330 Speaker 1: having to inconvenience yourself for someone else's children. It's not 510 00:25:40,410 --> 00:25:43,490 Speaker 1: your child, and she'll be able to sort her own 511 00:25:43,570 --> 00:25:45,850 Speaker 1: kid out. I'm sure she has other ways She's been 512 00:25:45,850 --> 00:25:48,330 Speaker 1: taking her kids to school before you did it, so yeah, 513 00:25:48,490 --> 00:25:50,010 Speaker 1: don'd be scared to set your boundaries there. 514 00:25:54,330 --> 00:25:56,570 Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to this glorious math. We hope 515 00:25:56,610 --> 00:25:58,650 Speaker 2: you've enjoyed the episode, and if you've loved it, please 516 00:25:58,690 --> 00:26:00,650 Speaker 2: be sure to leave us a rating or a review. 517 00:26:00,890 --> 00:26:03,130 Speaker 2: And if you have a dilemma that you'd like Sarah 518 00:26:03,210 --> 00:26:05,530 Speaker 2: and Marie to solve, you can leave us a voice 519 00:26:05,570 --> 00:26:07,570 Speaker 2: note by following the link in the show notes, or 520 00:26:07,610 --> 00:26:11,010 Speaker 2: get in touch at TGM at mamamea dot com dot au. 521 00:26:11,330 --> 00:26:14,290 Speaker 2: This episode was produced by Grace Rubray with audio production 522 00:26:14,370 --> 00:26:15,010 Speaker 2: by Lou Hill. 523 00:26:15,370 --> 00:26:16,730 Speaker 4: See Ya, see you next time.