WEBVTT - FROM HOLLY: The Year The World Discovered Mids 0:00:10.327 --> 0:00:14.847 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Mere acknowledges 0:00:14.887 --> 0:00:17.607 the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 0:00:17.647 --> 0:00:24.767 is recorded on. Hello there, I'm Holly Wainwright, and I 0:00:24.807 --> 0:00:30.687 am mid midlife, mid family, mid holiday meltdown. I just 0:00:30.727 --> 0:00:33.167 wanted to jump in front of the mic here between 0:00:33.247 --> 0:00:35.967 seasons of the show we make here for you, just 0:00:36.007 --> 0:00:38.727 to reflect a little bit on the year that we've had. 0:00:39.647 --> 0:00:43.047 It feels in some ways like twenty twenty four was 0:00:43.127 --> 0:00:45.727 the year of mid I don't mean the year of 0:00:45.767 --> 0:00:48.327 this show. I'm not that deluded, although of course we 0:00:48.407 --> 0:00:50.567 launched in May, so I'll take it. What I mean 0:00:51.087 --> 0:00:53.527 is that it felt like the year that somehow the 0:00:53.647 --> 0:00:58.367 culture that uppercase thing decided that women over forty were, 0:00:58.567 --> 0:01:02.807 you know, a thing. In a serious way. Activists and 0:01:02.887 --> 0:01:05.207 advocates like Grace Lamb, who we had on the show, 0:01:05.287 --> 0:01:09.047 and many many more were agitating for a better understanding, 0:01:09.327 --> 0:01:12.007 more social and medical support for women going through the 0:01:12.127 --> 0:01:17.647 very many indignities pain, angst, and downright debilitating side effects 0:01:17.687 --> 0:01:21.127 of perry and menopause, and in a much less essential 0:01:21.167 --> 0:01:25.087 but very significant way, because people made art about us, 0:01:25.287 --> 0:01:28.727 lots of it, we were represented in movies by people 0:01:28.767 --> 0:01:31.767 who looked slightly like us, if through a soft haze. 0:01:32.127 --> 0:01:35.727 Anne Hathaway's character seducing a facsimile of Harry's styles in 0:01:35.767 --> 0:01:39.207 the Idea of You, Nicole Kidman mortifying her daughter by 0:01:39.247 --> 0:01:42.247 having afternoon sex with Zac Efron in a family affair. 0:01:42.847 --> 0:01:46.087 They're characters you understand, not them, Not Nicole and Zach. 0:01:46.847 --> 0:01:49.847 There was also a Big book. Many called it the 0:01:49.847 --> 0:01:53.727 first great Perry menopausal novel, which, when you consider the 0:01:53.727 --> 0:01:56.887 amount of dead trees dedicated to the male midlife crisis, 0:01:57.207 --> 0:02:00.327 is kind of overdue. I'm talking about All Fours by 0:02:00.327 --> 0:02:04.207 Miranda July. It's brilliant, it's unpredictable, it's a little dark 0:02:04.287 --> 0:02:09.127 and definitely wild, not unlike you know us. It's certainly 0:02:09.487 --> 0:02:12.647 spawn a thousand copycats. And then there was a horror 0:02:12.647 --> 0:02:15.647 film called The Substance that Demi Moore is going to 0:02:15.687 --> 0:02:18.007 win awards for. If you haven't the stomach for it, 0:02:18.127 --> 0:02:20.207 let me tell you. It's not a feel good flick. 0:02:20.767 --> 0:02:24.407 It's an exploration of the idea that looking older, wrinkles, 0:02:24.607 --> 0:02:28.487 sagging skin, the deepening of shadows is literally the most 0:02:28.567 --> 0:02:32.087 terrifying thing that can happen to a woman. Demi Moore, 0:02:32.447 --> 0:02:34.407 a woman who knows a thing or two about both 0:02:34.407 --> 0:02:37.767 being entirely judged by your appearance and about trying to 0:02:37.767 --> 0:02:41.407 fight the appearance of aging by any means necessary. Represents 0:02:41.487 --> 0:02:43.487 all of us who have ever leaned into a mirror 0:02:43.527 --> 0:02:47.327 and gone, who the fuck is that? And why does 0:02:47.407 --> 0:02:51.887 she look so tired? Moore's character loses her job because 0:02:51.927 --> 0:02:54.367 her job was to look young and lineless and fuckable, 0:02:54.687 --> 0:02:57.727 and so she goes to extreme bloody lengths to literally 0:02:57.807 --> 0:03:00.807 rebirth herself as a twenty two year old. It's a lot. 0:03:02.447 --> 0:03:04.487 I've spent a lot of the year talking and listening 0:03:04.487 --> 0:03:08.127 to midlife women, and although they're changing faces and morphing bodies, 0:03:08.167 --> 0:03:11.167 are messing with their self perception, confronting all of us 0:03:11.247 --> 0:03:14.207 with the most visible signal that a clock is running down, 0:03:14.807 --> 0:03:17.247 it's actually not the most terrifying thing that they can 0:03:17.287 --> 0:03:24.487 imagine happening to them. That is more the big stuff loss, illness, irrelevance, abandonment. 0:03:25.247 --> 0:03:27.767 It's popular on the Internet to see memes and videos 0:03:27.767 --> 0:03:30.967 where midlife women have to choose from a fistful of inevitabilities, 0:03:31.287 --> 0:03:36.007 something like get divorced, give up gluten, start a sleep regimen, 0:03:36.287 --> 0:03:40.767 make menopause your whole personality, take up gardening. And yes 0:03:40.887 --> 0:03:44.047 it's reductive, because getting divorced is only almost as life 0:03:44.087 --> 0:03:47.087 altering is giving up bread. But gardening really is the 0:03:47.167 --> 0:03:50.367 divisive issue of this age, and someone needs to admit it. 0:03:51.047 --> 0:03:54.487 The thing is mids. It feels sometimes like this window 0:03:54.527 --> 0:03:56.807 of time, And I don't like to put numbers on it, 0:03:57.087 --> 0:03:59.007 because I'd argue that mid is more of a state 0:03:59.047 --> 0:04:02.047 of mind. But let's say it's forty ish to sixty ish, 0:04:02.447 --> 0:04:05.487 thirty five ish to sixty five ish. It's a window 0:04:05.527 --> 0:04:09.247 where a lot of big things happen. And if you're 0:04:09.367 --> 0:04:12.567 here at the end of the year, still standing despite 0:04:12.567 --> 0:04:14.607 maybe going through some of what we've talked about on 0:04:14.647 --> 0:04:19.367 the show, divorce, bereavement, your body rebelling on you, finding 0:04:19.407 --> 0:04:22.327 yourself suddenly invisible, worrying about what the heck you're going 0:04:22.367 --> 0:04:26.167 to live on as prices increase and opportunities decrease, children 0:04:26.207 --> 0:04:28.407 growing up in a way, letting go of the idea 0:04:28.407 --> 0:04:31.447 of having kids at all. Then you're doing better than 0:04:31.487 --> 0:04:34.487 that fictional version of Demi shivering on the cold, hard 0:04:34.567 --> 0:04:37.287 tile of a bathroom floor, selling her soul to put 0:04:37.287 --> 0:04:39.607 her nipples back in the same spot they once were. 0:04:40.727 --> 0:04:43.007 Something interesting's going to happen to us Mids as we 0:04:43.127 --> 0:04:47.087 become more visible and audible and recognized as that most 0:04:47.167 --> 0:04:52.127 powerful of things, an economically powerful group, a desirable market. 0:04:52.567 --> 0:04:55.127 We're going to see ourselves in our lives, what matters 0:04:55.167 --> 0:04:57.487 to us, what doesn't reflected back to us in all 0:04:57.607 --> 0:05:00.487 kinds of ways. We're going to be sold solutions to 0:05:00.567 --> 0:05:04.567 our issues, from sleepless nights to itchy ears and wrinkly brows. 0:05:04.887 --> 0:05:07.927 And some of those solutions will work and soothe and 0:05:08.047 --> 0:05:11.807 enrich us, and so won't, and they'll infuriate us because 0:05:12.207 --> 0:05:16.607 we're in our trimey era. But while the world clamors 0:05:16.647 --> 0:05:18.967 around the Mids with its promises to keep us young, 0:05:19.487 --> 0:05:21.647 it feels to me like it's also been the year 0:05:21.687 --> 0:05:25.367 to lean into understanding that young isn't the only good 0:05:25.407 --> 0:05:28.807 thing to be, and that being Mid, with our cracked 0:05:28.807 --> 0:05:31.887 hearts and our wicked stories of adventures past and big, 0:05:32.287 --> 0:05:35.327 and our clear eyed plans for what's still ahead, is 0:05:35.367 --> 0:05:38.967 actually a very powerful place to be. It's just that 0:05:39.287 --> 0:05:41.847 as the clamor pushes in, we need to make sure 0:05:41.967 --> 0:05:44.767 we can hear the answer when we ask ourselves. But 0:05:44.887 --> 0:05:48.287 what do we want from Act two, from the next 0:05:48.327 --> 0:05:51.367 part from the Harvest, as some call it, the time 0:05:51.407 --> 0:05:53.887 when the fruits of all our labors are ready to enjoy. 0:05:54.047 --> 0:05:57.447 What do we want twenty two year old boobs like 0:05:57.487 --> 0:06:01.327 in Demi's horror movie. Well, absolutely, but more than that, 0:06:01.647 --> 0:06:04.807 we want choices. We want adventures. We want clothes that 0:06:04.887 --> 0:06:08.407 fit and delicious, nourishing food and exciting sex and deep 0:06:08.447 --> 0:06:11.407 belly laughs with all kinds of friends. We want our 0:06:11.487 --> 0:06:14.927 people all around us, whatever that looks like. We want 0:06:15.007 --> 0:06:18.047 work that sustains us, and art that provokes us and 0:06:18.167 --> 0:06:21.727 conversations that matter. And we want to know that whatever's next, 0:06:22.087 --> 0:06:25.887 it's going to be a fucking ride. Here's to twenty 0:06:25.967 --> 0:06:28.287 twenty five mids. I can't wait to be back in 0:06:28.327 --> 0:06:31.607 your ears as summer ends and everything begins again.