WEBVTT - While You Were Sleeping 

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a Mom with Me a podcast Muma

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<v Speaker 1>Me your acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and

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<v Speaker 1>waters this podcast is recorded on. This episode deals with

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<v Speaker 1>discussions of sexual abuse, mental ill health, and pregnancy termination

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<v Speaker 1>and won't be for everyone. If you or anyone you

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<v Speaker 1>know needs help, there is a list of support services

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<v Speaker 1>in our show notes. Sleep a time to rest, recover,

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<v Speaker 1>and reset, allowing you to wake refreshed and ready to

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<v Speaker 1>face a brand new day. That elusive eight hours we

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<v Speaker 1>all strive for, filled with dreams that quietly keep us

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<v Speaker 1>company through the night. But for Cindy, sleep wasn't a luxury.

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<v Speaker 1>It was something a little more complicated.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm the type of person you get on a plane.

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<v Speaker 2>I am there to sleep until that thing lands like

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<v Speaker 2>I can sleep through a lot, I am to ram

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<v Speaker 2>in a couple minutes.

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<v Speaker 3>I sleep heavy.

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<v Speaker 2>I've had things in the past that, like gatherings or parties,

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<v Speaker 2>you and have fallen asleep.

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<v Speaker 1>While those complications can steal those dreams away, what you

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<v Speaker 1>don't expect is for them to be replaced by nightmares.

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<v Speaker 1>Not the kind you have in your sleep, the kind

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<v Speaker 1>happening in real life.

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<v Speaker 2>I started waking up knowing that something had happened, but

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<v Speaker 2>having no recollection of it, and I brushed it off

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<v Speaker 2>each time, and then I woke up one morning and

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<v Speaker 2>he was actively doing things to me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an EGGX.

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<v Speaker 1>Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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<v Speaker 1>unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the

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<v Speaker 1>hearts of.

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<v Speaker 3>The very people who lived them.

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<v Speaker 1>We begin this story like so many others. Cindy's twenty five.

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<v Speaker 1>She's been single for three years following a difficult relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>She wasn't actively looking for anything new, but she was

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<v Speaker 1>open to it. So when ted slid into a DA

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<v Speaker 1>felt like the universe was giving her exactly what she needed.

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<v Speaker 2>So we were both a part of a music scene,

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<v Speaker 2>and so we had mutual friends. He was just someone

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<v Speaker 2>that I knew of. I hadn't really ever thought that

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<v Speaker 2>deeply into seeing him as like a romantic connection because

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<v Speaker 2>he was always in relationships. I'm a bit of a

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<v Speaker 2>hopeless romantic. The timing seemed perfect. He was gorgeous, and yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I was pretty stoked to get a message from him.

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<v Speaker 2>He just came out of nowhere and it was good.

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<v Speaker 2>It was exciting. He was really talented and very charismatic.

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<v Speaker 2>It just seemed like he sort of had the world

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<v Speaker 2>at his feet. He was a really incredible musician, and

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<v Speaker 2>I loved his bands and projects that he did. He

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<v Speaker 2>kind of came across a bit of an asshole, if

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<v Speaker 2>I'm honest, but when I actually met him, he was

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<v Speaker 2>really sweet and very caring and just a real soft year.

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<v Speaker 2>So from that message, we then planned to meet up

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<v Speaker 2>at a gig together for an international band. He was

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<v Speaker 2>filling in for another band that night, so we had

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<v Speaker 2>planned to catch up after that, and once he played,

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<v Speaker 2>I think we shared a jug of beer or something,

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<v Speaker 2>and then we went to a local dive bar and

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<v Speaker 2>the chemistry was just through the roof. I remember sitting

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<v Speaker 2>at a table at this dive bar and they have

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<v Speaker 2>bowls of peanuts and pints of beer, and he just

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<v Speaker 2>leaned in at some point and it just started kissing me.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I think it was sort of like all right,

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<v Speaker 2>time to go, and we went back to his house

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<v Speaker 2>and had a pretty wild night. And yeah, it was

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<v Speaker 2>a very immediate connection, and from that moment on we

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<v Speaker 2>were just really like side by side. We very much

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<v Speaker 2>like started dating after that night. It was a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of fun. We would spend a lot of money on

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<v Speaker 2>like hotel rooms just so we could go somewhere bougie

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<v Speaker 2>and have a little staycation. That was always our favorite

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<v Speaker 2>thing to do, and because we were both living at

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<v Speaker 2>our parents' homes at the time, it was just way

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<v Speaker 2>more fun doing that. But we would go to a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of gigs. We would go to his shows, and yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we just hang out a lot. I just had an

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<v Speaker 2>experienced an instantaneous connection that deeply before.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, dear listener, you may have picked up that Ted

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<v Speaker 1>was in a band, and bands often go on tour,

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<v Speaker 1>so you can kind of guess what happens next.

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<v Speaker 2>I think he was living his best rock star life,

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<v Speaker 2>thinking everything's changing from here. He was getting a bit

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<v Speaker 2>of a big head over it. Yeah, just too big

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<v Speaker 2>in his boots. And I think he also didn't see

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<v Speaker 2>me much as a like a serious thing at that time,

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<v Speaker 2>where I definitely, you know, I don't date to not

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<v Speaker 2>fall in love kind of thing. So it was a

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<v Speaker 2>lot more serious for me than it was for him.

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<v Speaker 2>So we dated for a couple months and then we

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<v Speaker 2>broke up. It all kicked off over some silly argument

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<v Speaker 2>regarding my birthday. He was supposed to come catch up,

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<v Speaker 2>but he was a heavy weed smoker at the time,

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't know. I guess he got a better

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<v Speaker 2>offer from one of his friends to sit in a

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<v Speaker 2>shed and do that when he was supposed to come

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<v Speaker 2>see me for the birthday, and then that started argument,

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<v Speaker 2>and then yeah, I guess he saw him jetting off

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<v Speaker 2>to tour across the seas as an opportunity to just

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<v Speaker 2>end it. It was devastating when he first left, but

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I wasn't that deep into it where it's like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>it's going to ruin my life.

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<v Speaker 1>But Ted's tour was cut short as COVID swept the globe,

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<v Speaker 1>and he and Cindy still kept in contact with a

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<v Speaker 1>few texts and emails here and there. There were no

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<v Speaker 1>hard feelings, so it should come as no surprise they found.

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<v Speaker 2>Their way back together. Halfway through the year. We rekindled

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<v Speaker 2>again and had a bit of a rockstar moment in

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<v Speaker 2>a green room at a venue. There was a gig

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<v Speaker 2>on his band happened to be playing it. I just

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<v Speaker 2>went to the gig, and I think he came up

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<v Speaker 2>to apologize to me at some point, and yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>suggested something and we went and did that and actually

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<v Speaker 2>got pregnant from that, which is wild, But from that

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<v Speaker 2>is where I really felt for him, because we weren't

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<v Speaker 2>ready to be parents whatsoever. And the way he handled

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<v Speaker 2>being there for me during that was incredible, and I

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<v Speaker 2>thought it was the most selfless thing and just he

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<v Speaker 2>really showed up for me. He had had a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of time to think about the way he had treated me,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe six months earlier, and he saw me moving on

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<v Speaker 2>and living my life, and I guess that put things

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<v Speaker 2>into persons inspective for him, And yeah, he was quite

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<v Speaker 2>keen to get something real going after that. There was

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<v Speaker 2>no hesitation from me, and I was just excited to

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<v Speaker 2>give it a proper go. There was just a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of There was a lot of fire there in a

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<v Speaker 2>good way. It was good and it was passionate. We

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<v Speaker 2>were both still living at home and I used to

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<v Speaker 2>drive down to his house. We always had a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of fun. He had a very normal family life, whereas

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<v Speaker 2>my home was a little bit different. So we'd always

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<v Speaker 2>hang at his house. Was a little bit more fun there,

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<v Speaker 2>and he had all the instruments and there was cooler

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<v Speaker 2>places to go around that, so that's what we would do.

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<v Speaker 3>Most of the time.

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<v Speaker 1>At this point, they were five months into their official relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's fair to say Cindy was experiencing the highest

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<v Speaker 1>of highs.

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<v Speaker 2>We were sitting outside our regular favorite dive bar at

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<v Speaker 2>the top of some stairs, and it was coming up

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<v Speaker 2>to Christmas time, and he had said something along the

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<v Speaker 2>lines of oh, my family like we all love you,

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<v Speaker 2>and I said, oh, do you like we? And he's

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<v Speaker 2>just turned to me and he told me he loved me,

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<v Speaker 2>and yeah, it was kind of a really beautiful moment.

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<v Speaker 1>But as so often can happen, life then dealt them

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<v Speaker 1>the lowest of lows.

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<v Speaker 2>We had to have two separate terminations because we weren't

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<v Speaker 2>ready to be parents, and the second one was significantly

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<v Speaker 2>more heavy. I remember missing my period and saying to him,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, there's more than one. There's definitely more

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<v Speaker 2>than one in me. And we thought we were at

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<v Speaker 2>the end of the first trimester by that point, and

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<v Speaker 2>we were freaking out. We both couldn't really afford it

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<v Speaker 2>because it's ridiculously expensive. I went to go get the

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<v Speaker 2>referral to get the procedure done, and I had a

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<v Speaker 2>doctor tell me sorry, because of my religious beliefs, I

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<v Speaker 2>can't help you. So I've sort of run out there

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<v Speaker 2>crying because again I'm like panicking, thinking it's the end

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<v Speaker 2>of the first trimester, like what do I do?

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<v Speaker 3>And I actually had.

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<v Speaker 2>A woman doctor called me a little bit later and

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<v Speaker 2>she said, come in, I'll help you. And she actually

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<v Speaker 2>helped get funding as well, which was incredible. But when

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<v Speaker 2>I went in for the procedure, I was getting the

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<v Speaker 2>ultrasound done and I was sort of looking out of

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<v Speaker 2>the corner of my eye. The nurse was staring quite

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<v Speaker 2>intensely at the screen and I just sort of knew

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<v Speaker 2>it was coming. She said, just to let you know,

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<v Speaker 2>there's multiples and I was like, yeah, I know, and

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<v Speaker 2>she said, how do you know? Have you had an ultrasound?

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<v Speaker 2>I said no, I just know and she said, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>you're about seven weeks. I dealt with a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>guilt afterwards. I was really struggling. He didn't really understand.

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<v Speaker 1>And then ted fell back into old habits, a pattern

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<v Speaker 1>that I urged every time things got hard.

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<v Speaker 2>He would just block me on all platforms after like

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<v Speaker 2>a very minimal fight or whatever, and then he would

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<v Speaker 2>be back on the dating apps within two days. So

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<v Speaker 2>from then I guess that sort of set the tone

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<v Speaker 2>for each argument that we'd have after that, because it

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<v Speaker 2>was sort of like I was always needing him to

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<v Speaker 2>show up and he was always needing to run away

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<v Speaker 2>sort of thing. When we'd argue, I would just really

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<v Speaker 2>need to sort it out there and then and not

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<v Speaker 2>let it linger, whereas he would like to go away

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<v Speaker 2>for However, long after the second termination, there was a

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<v Speaker 2>night where I sort of had a bit of a

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<v Speaker 2>mental breakdown because I was absolutely dealing with every symptom

0:11:02.248 --> 0:11:07.088
<v Speaker 2>of post abortion syndrome, which I know isn't technically considered

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<v Speaker 2>a real thing, but it exists one hundred percent, and

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<v Speaker 2>it was just hard not understanding it at the time.

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<v Speaker 2>And there also just been all these incredible highs with

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<v Speaker 2>our relationship, but then just random disappearings and yeah, just

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<v Speaker 2>a whole lot of confusion. It was slowly just driving

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<v Speaker 2>me into this complete place of unknown, and it was

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<v Speaker 2>very it was very new to me. After the blocking,

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<v Speaker 2>he would always it'd probably take a week or two,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, if he was on the apps just

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<v Speaker 2>to get an ego boost or something, but he'd always

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<v Speaker 2>come back. We'd make up, or he'd send me the

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<v Speaker 2>wyd message or like you know, and I'd just take

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<v Speaker 2>the bait every time. But yeah, we'd always just end

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<v Speaker 2>up back together. I would just be at home trying

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<v Speaker 2>to make sense of it all while he was just

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<v Speaker 2>out there living his life, and then when he wanted

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<v Speaker 2>me back, he'd come back. It was incredibly hard to

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<v Speaker 2>deal with because it's something I dealt with a lot

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<v Speaker 2>in my previous relationship, so I had a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>I just had a lot of issues with abandonment or

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<v Speaker 2>feeling abandoned, feeling disposable, And yeah, it wasn't helpful whatsoever.

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<v Speaker 2>I felt very much like I wanted to make sure

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<v Speaker 2>that never happened again. I definitely tried to work on

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<v Speaker 2>myself in the way I handle things, maybe how I

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<v Speaker 2>can come to a compromise if we were to argue again,

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<v Speaker 2>so it wouldn't end up so bad to the point

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<v Speaker 2>where that felt necessary. It wasn't a good feeling whatsoever.

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<v Speaker 2>It was horrible, But I guess every time he told

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<v Speaker 2>me that, you know, he wanted to try again and

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<v Speaker 2>do better, I believed him because why would he lie,

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<v Speaker 2>Why wouldn't he be telling the truth. Things got quite

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<v Speaker 2>a bit worse after that. He was going on tour

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<v Speaker 2>with his band that was one night in one city,

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<v Speaker 2>and second night and another and he wanted me to

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<v Speaker 2>come because we had gotten back together, and I guess

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<v Speaker 2>he knew that that would be really exciting and special

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<v Speaker 2>like to have me there. And my only condition was

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<v Speaker 2>that his band members knew that I was coming, because

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<v Speaker 2>that would just be humiliating to rock up, and also

0:13:50.648 --> 0:13:53.808
<v Speaker 2>it's just unfair on them because it's their tour as well.

0:13:54.848 --> 0:13:56.928
<v Speaker 2>When I rocked up at the airport, I saw their faces.

0:13:56.928 --> 0:14:00.008
<v Speaker 2>They had no idea where I was coming. And that

0:14:00.408 --> 0:14:06.408
<v Speaker 2>tour was the start of some really bad things because

0:14:07.088 --> 0:14:09.648
<v Speaker 2>from there we had a pretty explosive fight. On the

0:14:09.928 --> 0:14:13.248
<v Speaker 2>second night, I'd fallen asleep at a venue.

0:14:14.408 --> 0:14:17.248
<v Speaker 1>Cindy didn't just fall asleep because she was tired. She

0:14:17.368 --> 0:14:20.688
<v Speaker 1>suffers from type one narcolepsy, a sleep disorder where your

0:14:20.688 --> 0:14:25.048
<v Speaker 1>brain struggles to control sleep, causing overwhelming daytime tiredness and

0:14:25.088 --> 0:14:28.248
<v Speaker 1>sudden muscle weakness, often triggered by strong emotions.

0:14:28.728 --> 0:14:30.328
<v Speaker 2>I'm the type of person you get on a plane.

0:14:30.368 --> 0:14:32.768
<v Speaker 2>I am near to sleep until that thing lands like

0:14:32.888 --> 0:14:36.128
<v Speaker 2>I can sleep through a lot. I enter ram in

0:14:36.248 --> 0:14:40.808
<v Speaker 2>a couple minutes. I sleep heavy I've had things in

0:14:40.848 --> 0:14:44.008
<v Speaker 2>the past that, like gatherings or parties, you have fallen asleep.

0:14:44.448 --> 0:14:48.488
<v Speaker 2>Something with my sleep disorder is called automatic behaviors. So

0:14:48.568 --> 0:14:51.408
<v Speaker 2>it's like I could be folding laundry looking you get

0:14:51.448 --> 0:14:54.928
<v Speaker 2>in the eye, having a conversation, but my eyes will

0:14:54.928 --> 0:14:57.408
<v Speaker 2>be a little bit like glazed over. You'll be able

0:14:57.448 --> 0:15:01.808
<v Speaker 2>to tell that I'm not actually awake. It's like sleep walking, basically.

0:15:02.088 --> 0:15:05.288
<v Speaker 1>So it's not particularly surprising that Cindy couldn't help falling

0:15:05.288 --> 0:15:08.528
<v Speaker 1>asleep in a loud, busy music venue. But Ted wasn't

0:15:08.608 --> 0:15:09.648
<v Speaker 1>quite as understanding.

0:15:10.168 --> 0:15:13.848
<v Speaker 2>He got quite angry about it, even though he was

0:15:13.848 --> 0:15:17.528
<v Speaker 2>well aware that that would happen. But I tried to

0:15:17.928 --> 0:15:20.808
<v Speaker 2>very quickly and quietly lat Ninja out of there and

0:15:20.888 --> 0:15:22.728
<v Speaker 2>run back. I was running back to the hotel. I

0:15:22.808 --> 0:15:25.488
<v Speaker 2>was so excited to get into that bed, and I

0:15:25.568 --> 0:15:27.448
<v Speaker 2>just didn't want any problems as well, So I thought

0:15:27.448 --> 0:15:29.568
<v Speaker 2>he would stay there and drink with his band mates.

0:15:30.168 --> 0:15:32.528
<v Speaker 2>And I've dived into the bed and he just came

0:15:32.968 --> 0:15:37.688
<v Speaker 2>bursting through the door, and he was so angry, like

0:15:38.648 --> 0:15:43.448
<v Speaker 2>furious at me, and he made some offhand comment about

0:15:44.048 --> 0:15:47.248
<v Speaker 2>a woman which I can't even remember what the comment was,

0:15:47.248 --> 0:15:50.368
<v Speaker 2>but it was just so out of the blue that

0:15:50.848 --> 0:15:54.688
<v Speaker 2>it really upset me because once he said that, he

0:15:54.728 --> 0:15:56.928
<v Speaker 2>then turned around and left and I heard him get

0:15:56.928 --> 0:15:59.848
<v Speaker 2>into the lift out in the hallway, and that sort

0:15:59.928 --> 0:16:02.848
<v Speaker 2>of just kicked me off too, because it's like, don't

0:16:03.368 --> 0:16:06.768
<v Speaker 2>say something to me. And then Bail like talked to

0:16:06.808 --> 0:16:09.968
<v Speaker 2>me about it. So we had a quiet exploit a

0:16:10.088 --> 0:16:15.088
<v Speaker 2>fight which resulted in us breaking up. When we got

0:16:15.288 --> 0:16:21.208
<v Speaker 2>back from that tour, and we had a holiday booked

0:16:21.448 --> 0:16:23.648
<v Speaker 2>that was meant to be for my birthday earlier in

0:16:23.688 --> 0:16:26.328
<v Speaker 2>the year, but he told me you're not coming on

0:16:26.328 --> 0:16:30.168
<v Speaker 2>the holiday. You know, he had control of the tickets,

0:16:30.208 --> 0:16:32.288
<v Speaker 2>so I think I don't know if he sold my ticket,

0:16:32.808 --> 0:16:34.448
<v Speaker 2>but you know, it was a holiday that I was

0:16:34.448 --> 0:16:37.368
<v Speaker 2>paying my own way for and through. But I was

0:16:37.408 --> 0:16:41.688
<v Speaker 2>told you're not going, and I had a gut feeling

0:16:42.808 --> 0:16:45.528
<v Speaker 2>there was more going on there, because it just it

0:16:45.568 --> 0:16:49.168
<v Speaker 2>was very sudden, like why he wouldn't want to sort

0:16:49.288 --> 0:16:53.448
<v Speaker 2>anything out or even talk about what had happened. And

0:16:55.048 --> 0:16:57.808
<v Speaker 2>had a bit of a gut feeling, so I made

0:16:57.808 --> 0:17:01.568
<v Speaker 2>a Tinder I set the location to near him, and

0:17:01.768 --> 0:17:06.967
<v Speaker 2>he was advertising my ticket on his Tinder bio, saying

0:17:07.008 --> 0:17:11.767
<v Speaker 2>he needs a travel buddy good on the chin, I

0:17:11.808 --> 0:17:14.407
<v Speaker 2>offered to drop him at the airport, to sort of

0:17:14.448 --> 0:17:18.927
<v Speaker 2>be the bigger person, because at that point I was devastated,

0:17:18.968 --> 0:17:22.368
<v Speaker 2>but I was more than happy to sacrifice my happiness

0:17:22.568 --> 0:17:26.928
<v Speaker 2>for him because I thought, maybe it'll just mean will

0:17:26.968 --> 0:17:29.328
<v Speaker 2>be in a good place by the time he's back.

0:17:29.688 --> 0:17:32.168
<v Speaker 1>Or so she thought. But then she saw a status

0:17:32.168 --> 0:17:34.728
<v Speaker 1>on his social media that he was traveling solo and

0:17:34.808 --> 0:17:37.328
<v Speaker 1>asking any females who were doing the same to come

0:17:37.368 --> 0:17:39.687
<v Speaker 1>and join him. This gut punch was the straw that

0:17:39.768 --> 0:17:40.808
<v Speaker 1>broke the camel's back.

0:17:41.088 --> 0:17:44.368
<v Speaker 2>I sent him an Instagram message and then I blocked him.

0:17:44.728 --> 0:17:47.168
<v Speaker 2>I blocked him on everything, which was the first time

0:17:47.208 --> 0:17:50.688
<v Speaker 2>I'd done that, And I came back after a couple

0:17:50.808 --> 0:17:55.927
<v Speaker 2>hours to a very long email from him apologizing, telling

0:17:55.968 --> 0:18:01.088
<v Speaker 2>me that he was so lonely there and he'd really

0:18:01.128 --> 0:18:04.808
<v Speaker 2>loved my company, and he had never responded to me

0:18:05.928 --> 0:18:08.488
<v Speaker 2>the way that he did when I sent him the

0:18:08.488 --> 0:18:11.768
<v Speaker 2>Instagram message and blocked it. He the email that he

0:18:11.888 --> 0:18:14.328
<v Speaker 2>sent me, I'd never heard him say things that he

0:18:14.408 --> 0:18:18.288
<v Speaker 2>said in that before. He really seemed like he was

0:18:19.688 --> 0:18:23.128
<v Speaker 2>scrambling because he was scared he was going to actually

0:18:23.128 --> 0:18:25.207
<v Speaker 2>lose me because that was the first time that I

0:18:25.288 --> 0:18:29.368
<v Speaker 2>had ever put my foot down and just been like, nope,

0:18:29.408 --> 0:18:31.968
<v Speaker 2>we had done. I don't want to see you again.

0:18:32.408 --> 0:18:35.528
<v Speaker 2>I think that scared him because he was losing someone

0:18:35.568 --> 0:18:40.248
<v Speaker 2>that would stand by him through anything, and me being

0:18:40.328 --> 0:18:43.848
<v Speaker 2>an absolute idiot. I booked a flight for two days

0:18:43.928 --> 0:18:46.687
<v Speaker 2>later for fifteen hundred dollars, which is one thousand dollars

0:18:46.768 --> 0:18:50.128
<v Speaker 2>more than what my original ticket cost. But I went

0:18:50.168 --> 0:18:52.368
<v Speaker 2>over and met him there. It was like we were

0:18:52.408 --> 0:18:54.848
<v Speaker 2>a couple again. We were having so much fun. We

0:18:54.848 --> 0:18:57.568
<v Speaker 2>were going to little bars and he would get up

0:18:57.608 --> 0:19:00.967
<v Speaker 2>and play with live bands and stuff. It was it

0:19:01.008 --> 0:19:03.328
<v Speaker 2>was a great time. We were riding around on a scooter,

0:19:04.528 --> 0:19:06.928
<v Speaker 2>got in some trouble and like we were just having

0:19:07.008 --> 0:19:10.448
<v Speaker 2>a really good time. And when we got back, we'd

0:19:10.528 --> 0:19:14.848
<v Speaker 2>have a couple of days to just chill out. We'd

0:19:14.848 --> 0:19:18.248
<v Speaker 2>get back to it, we'd have a conversation after the weekend,

0:19:18.608 --> 0:19:22.128
<v Speaker 2>and in that time on that weekend, he made it

0:19:22.168 --> 0:19:25.528
<v Speaker 2>Tinder again and reconnected with a girl that he then

0:19:25.608 --> 0:19:28.568
<v Speaker 2>started a relationship with for three months while we were

0:19:28.728 --> 0:19:32.648
<v Speaker 2>still together. He was back on Tinder two days after

0:19:32.648 --> 0:19:35.288
<v Speaker 2>we got back, which felt like a big kick in

0:19:35.368 --> 0:19:38.167
<v Speaker 2>the teeth because I you know, I'd spent quite a

0:19:38.248 --> 0:19:41.888
<v Speaker 2>bit of money to get over there, and you know,

0:19:41.928 --> 0:19:44.368
<v Speaker 2>he just made it out that like, you know, we're

0:19:44.408 --> 0:19:49.488
<v Speaker 2>walking around Pelton hands like I don't understand. Anytime we

0:19:49.528 --> 0:19:52.048
<v Speaker 2>had an argument, he'd follow like a new influx of girls.

0:19:52.808 --> 0:19:54.927
<v Speaker 2>But this was the one girl this time. And it

0:19:54.968 --> 0:19:59.328
<v Speaker 2>turns out she was somebody that he had a history with,

0:20:00.688 --> 0:20:04.448
<v Speaker 2>so unfortunately, you know, it was a lot more serious

0:20:04.528 --> 0:20:08.128
<v Speaker 2>for her, and I think he completely screwed her over

0:20:08.208 --> 0:20:09.008
<v Speaker 2>in the process.

0:20:09.888 --> 0:20:10.608
<v Speaker 3>I flat out.

0:20:10.488 --> 0:20:15.368
<v Speaker 2>Asked him if he was planning to catch up with

0:20:15.408 --> 0:20:19.808
<v Speaker 2>this girl, and he promised, no, it's just an old friend.

0:20:20.528 --> 0:20:23.008
<v Speaker 2>You know, we haven't spoken in years. We've just reconnected.

0:20:23.048 --> 0:20:26.528
<v Speaker 2>And I said, well, where did you reconnect? And he

0:20:26.528 --> 0:20:29.168
<v Speaker 2>claimed it was Instagram. He was staying at my house

0:20:29.208 --> 0:20:32.568
<v Speaker 2>when he wasn't on tour. We were very much doing

0:20:32.728 --> 0:20:36.288
<v Speaker 2>all the couple things. We just sort of naturally fell

0:20:36.328 --> 0:20:40.927
<v Speaker 2>back together. But while that is happening, he was also

0:20:41.008 --> 0:20:45.528
<v Speaker 2>seeing this other girl. We had plans to spend New

0:20:45.608 --> 0:20:49.568
<v Speaker 2>Year's Eve together and just do something low key, and

0:20:50.048 --> 0:20:54.888
<v Speaker 2>he was communicating with me and then he turned his

0:20:54.928 --> 0:20:57.967
<v Speaker 2>phone off and I just something in my guard. I

0:20:58.088 --> 0:21:01.248
<v Speaker 2>just knew that that meant he was going to be

0:21:01.368 --> 0:21:06.448
<v Speaker 2>with her. One thing that I'm so grateful for it's

0:21:07.048 --> 0:21:10.688
<v Speaker 2>my friends, because that night was so bad that the

0:21:11.728 --> 0:21:15.128
<v Speaker 2>new year's going into twenty twenty three, I couldn't have

0:21:15.968 --> 0:21:19.687
<v Speaker 2>got through it without my friends. They really had my

0:21:19.768 --> 0:21:25.128
<v Speaker 2>back and very much last minute got me out of

0:21:26.168 --> 0:21:29.488
<v Speaker 2>probably the darkest head space I'd ever been in. So

0:21:30.128 --> 0:21:34.248
<v Speaker 2>start of January, him and I caught up and he

0:21:34.328 --> 0:21:38.247
<v Speaker 2>had told me that he wasn't seeing her anymore. And

0:21:38.328 --> 0:21:41.888
<v Speaker 2>I said to him, all right, well, how about we

0:21:41.968 --> 0:21:45.848
<v Speaker 2>give this one last shot with none of this bullshit,

0:21:46.088 --> 0:21:52.008
<v Speaker 2>no third parties. We just try one more time. He said,

0:21:52.728 --> 0:21:54.288
<v Speaker 2>can we do it at the end of this month.

0:21:54.808 --> 0:21:58.448
<v Speaker 1>It was an odd request, one Cindy could see right through.

0:21:58.728 --> 0:22:01.128
<v Speaker 1>She wanted to believe his heart belonged to her, but

0:22:01.328 --> 0:22:04.328
<v Speaker 1>all the signs suggested otherwise, and everything came to a

0:22:04.408 --> 0:22:06.488
<v Speaker 1>head on a night that was meant to be all

0:22:06.528 --> 0:22:06.967
<v Speaker 1>about her.

0:22:07.368 --> 0:22:09.688
<v Speaker 2>I was having a twenty ninth birthday at my house,

0:22:09.888 --> 0:22:12.648
<v Speaker 2>so as the first party I'd had in that house.

0:22:12.808 --> 0:22:15.528
<v Speaker 2>So I was preparing that. I had some friends come

0:22:15.528 --> 0:22:18.528
<v Speaker 2>over before the party to help set up, and he

0:22:18.568 --> 0:22:22.528
<v Speaker 2>also came over because he didn't know all of my friends.

0:22:23.408 --> 0:22:27.528
<v Speaker 2>During that Christmas New Year's Eve where he was spending

0:22:27.608 --> 0:22:30.648
<v Speaker 2>more time with her, I developed some really really great

0:22:30.688 --> 0:22:34.088
<v Speaker 2>friendships with people that are steal my right and eyes today.

0:22:34.888 --> 0:22:37.408
<v Speaker 2>And so I had this big new group of friends,

0:22:37.648 --> 0:22:40.888
<v Speaker 2>and I guess like it was sort of intriguing to

0:22:41.008 --> 0:22:46.128
<v Speaker 2>him because you know, he'd see me so happy, which

0:22:46.128 --> 0:22:49.808
<v Speaker 2>he hadn't seen for a long time. And so when

0:22:50.248 --> 0:22:51.968
<v Speaker 2>this party was quite out of hand, actually there was

0:22:52.008 --> 0:22:54.768
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people there and it was good though,

0:22:55.168 --> 0:22:59.927
<v Speaker 2>so much love there. I remember him sitting around the

0:23:00.008 --> 0:23:02.048
<v Speaker 2>table with all of my friends and they're all being

0:23:02.208 --> 0:23:04.207
<v Speaker 2>so lovely to him because they don't know the worst

0:23:04.208 --> 0:23:07.167
<v Speaker 2>parts of our relationship. They don't know, you know, I

0:23:07.168 --> 0:23:09.247
<v Speaker 2>don't sit there and run his name to the ground,

0:23:10.168 --> 0:23:14.728
<v Speaker 2>just not the way that things worked for me. So

0:23:14.808 --> 0:23:17.608
<v Speaker 2>they're all happy to meet him, like they know some things,

0:23:17.608 --> 0:23:21.088
<v Speaker 2>but they don't know how bad it really was or whatever.

0:23:21.168 --> 0:23:24.048
<v Speaker 2>But I remember at one point he had left his

0:23:24.168 --> 0:23:27.007
<v Speaker 2>phone inside. I was sitting with a friend on the

0:23:27.048 --> 0:23:30.248
<v Speaker 2>couch inside and I felt something under me. I'm like, oh,

0:23:30.288 --> 0:23:33.167
<v Speaker 2>that's his phone. So yeah, I took that thing into

0:23:33.168 --> 0:23:36.928
<v Speaker 2>my bedroom and I just had a look, and he

0:23:37.248 --> 0:23:41.528
<v Speaker 2>was still communicating with her, planning to catch up. He

0:23:41.568 --> 0:23:43.528
<v Speaker 2>had promised me that he used to condom when they

0:23:43.568 --> 0:23:47.247
<v Speaker 2>slept together, and they absolutely did not. I told him

0:23:47.248 --> 0:23:51.008
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't sleep with him if they hadn't used one,

0:23:51.608 --> 0:23:54.167
<v Speaker 2>and he promised black and blue that they did. So

0:23:54.208 --> 0:23:58.528
<v Speaker 2>I saw those messages too, So I ended up running

0:23:58.568 --> 0:24:00.808
<v Speaker 2>into my backyard and grabbed him by the shirt and

0:24:00.888 --> 0:24:02.648
<v Speaker 2>I said, I think it's time for you to leave,

0:24:03.048 --> 0:24:08.048
<v Speaker 2>and I took him outside and I broke up with him.

0:24:08.528 --> 0:24:12.967
<v Speaker 2>I was so done. I was I'd finally sort of

0:24:12.968 --> 0:24:16.608
<v Speaker 2>broken free from it. I felt the best I had

0:24:16.688 --> 0:24:20.248
<v Speaker 2>ever felt, actually, and the next three months were probably

0:24:20.488 --> 0:24:23.448
<v Speaker 2>the best three months of my life. I was just

0:24:23.488 --> 0:24:27.008
<v Speaker 2>so carefree, and you know, I had all these amazing

0:24:27.048 --> 0:24:29.407
<v Speaker 2>people in my life and I didn't need anybody else.

0:24:29.528 --> 0:24:32.608
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I was having a really good time. And

0:24:32.648 --> 0:24:36.088
<v Speaker 2>then he was messaging me like every other day. He

0:24:36.128 --> 0:24:39.808
<v Speaker 2>apparently had quit smoking weed, and you know, he'd had

0:24:39.848 --> 0:24:42.128
<v Speaker 2>a lot of time to think and he wants to

0:24:42.168 --> 0:24:45.768
<v Speaker 2>be a better man, and you know, he was absolutely

0:24:45.808 --> 0:24:46.768
<v Speaker 2>begging for me back.

0:24:47.568 --> 0:24:51.447
<v Speaker 1>The tables that officially turned, and it made Cindy feel good.

0:24:51.888 --> 0:24:53.448
<v Speaker 3>It felt like he finally.

0:24:53.048 --> 0:24:55.088
<v Speaker 1>Got the message, and he'd been giving this so much

0:24:55.128 --> 0:24:57.808
<v Speaker 1>time and effort to win her back, and she believed

0:24:57.848 --> 0:25:00.167
<v Speaker 1>it when he said things would be different and better.

0:25:00.608 --> 0:25:05.848
<v Speaker 2>My friends were not stoked about us getting back together,

0:25:06.688 --> 0:25:11.368
<v Speaker 2>but they also just they would support me through anything.

0:25:11.368 --> 0:25:13.728
<v Speaker 2>They've seen me being an idiot a bunch of times.

0:25:14.568 --> 0:25:18.328
<v Speaker 2>The next two years were great. He was a different person.

0:25:18.448 --> 0:25:21.528
<v Speaker 2>There were arguments we had where he actually calmed himself

0:25:21.568 --> 0:25:26.848
<v Speaker 2>down and you know, tried a different approach, and it

0:25:26.968 --> 0:25:30.088
<v Speaker 2>was incredible, And I put it down to I was like, oh, well,

0:25:30.448 --> 0:25:33.048
<v Speaker 2>maybe it's just the weed. Maybe the weed makes him

0:25:33.048 --> 0:25:35.808
<v Speaker 2>an asshole. And I feel like, in a way, it

0:25:35.848 --> 0:25:40.088
<v Speaker 2>definitely did. But yeah, something had definitely changed where he

0:25:40.248 --> 0:25:43.208
<v Speaker 2>was putting in a lot more effort, and he even

0:25:43.288 --> 0:25:46.768
<v Speaker 2>went as far as to go to his friends and

0:25:46.848 --> 0:25:53.608
<v Speaker 2>family and tell them that he had exaggerated a whole

0:25:53.648 --> 0:25:56.167
<v Speaker 2>bunch of the things he said about me. His friends

0:25:56.168 --> 0:26:00.048
<v Speaker 2>were being a lot nicer to me, So I believed

0:26:00.808 --> 0:26:04.648
<v Speaker 2>that he had really changed and gone like the full

0:26:04.688 --> 0:26:08.528
<v Speaker 2>mile to just make right for things that he had

0:26:08.568 --> 0:26:12.848
<v Speaker 2>done and said. When we got back together. A condition

0:26:12.968 --> 0:26:15.208
<v Speaker 2>of us getting back together was that he would get

0:26:15.208 --> 0:26:19.407
<v Speaker 2>an STI test because he was sleeping with me and

0:26:19.568 --> 0:26:26.088
<v Speaker 2>that girl unprotected. So I knew that I was clear,

0:26:26.648 --> 0:26:30.368
<v Speaker 2>but I wanted him to go that extra mile and

0:26:30.448 --> 0:26:32.888
<v Speaker 2>just do what he said he would do. It was

0:26:32.928 --> 0:26:35.608
<v Speaker 2>like a respect thing that I just needed him to do,

0:26:36.808 --> 0:26:39.168
<v Speaker 2>and he said he would do it, and he kept

0:26:39.168 --> 0:26:42.168
<v Speaker 2>putting it off and putting it off, and by January

0:26:42.208 --> 0:26:44.488
<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty four, I had quite a bad car accident.

0:26:44.808 --> 0:26:48.088
<v Speaker 2>Cindy sustained some pretty serious injuries as a result, so

0:26:48.168 --> 0:26:50.608
<v Speaker 2>Ted moved in, promising to help her around the house

0:26:50.688 --> 0:26:53.687
<v Speaker 2>and support her through her recovery. When he moved in

0:26:53.728 --> 0:26:56.528
<v Speaker 2>with me, I quickly found out that when we sleep

0:26:56.568 --> 0:26:59.088
<v Speaker 2>in the same bed, I would sort of roll down

0:26:59.088 --> 0:27:01.808
<v Speaker 2>into him, so I would sleep really tense, and I'd

0:27:01.808 --> 0:27:03.968
<v Speaker 2>wake up in agony. I wouldn't be able to walk.

0:27:04.328 --> 0:27:08.768
<v Speaker 2>So I was sleeping on the couch for nine months.

0:27:08.928 --> 0:27:11.447
<v Speaker 2>I had a wonderful couch. This couch was great, like

0:27:11.488 --> 0:27:14.967
<v Speaker 2>it really saved me after that accident. It was incredibly confident.

0:27:15.008 --> 0:27:16.808
<v Speaker 2>It's just perfect for what I needed. So I was

0:27:16.888 --> 0:27:21.208
<v Speaker 2>okay with that. But there was maybe about two handfuls

0:27:21.248 --> 0:27:25.008
<v Speaker 2>worth the times that I actually slept in bed, and

0:27:26.328 --> 0:27:30.048
<v Speaker 2>like I started waking up knowing that something had happened,

0:27:30.368 --> 0:27:36.448
<v Speaker 2>but having no recollection of it. It just very much

0:27:36.488 --> 0:27:40.488
<v Speaker 2>seemed like I had had sex. And I know that

0:27:40.608 --> 0:27:45.328
<v Speaker 2>at that time, I sat very clear boundaries that that

0:27:45.368 --> 0:27:50.088
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't be happening until he did the test. And there

0:27:50.128 --> 0:27:52.168
<v Speaker 2>was probably about four or five mornings where I woke

0:27:52.288 --> 0:27:55.687
<v Speaker 2>up and I just tell something was off, and I

0:27:55.728 --> 0:27:59.368
<v Speaker 2>brushed it off each time, and then I woke up

0:27:59.408 --> 0:28:06.088
<v Speaker 2>one morning and he was actively doing things to me.

0:28:07.168 --> 0:28:13.167
<v Speaker 2>So when I woke up and he was penetrateding me

0:28:13.288 --> 0:28:16.207
<v Speaker 2>while I was asleep, I sent him home to his

0:28:16.248 --> 0:28:17.808
<v Speaker 2>parents for a couple of days because I needed some

0:28:17.848 --> 0:28:24.688
<v Speaker 2>time to just process. So I sent him a message

0:28:25.848 --> 0:28:30.248
<v Speaker 2>while he was at work one day and I basically

0:28:30.448 --> 0:28:31.968
<v Speaker 2>was saying to him.

0:28:31.968 --> 0:28:32.727
<v Speaker 3>This is bad.

0:28:32.888 --> 0:28:36.808
<v Speaker 2>This is really bad, Like I don't think you're registering

0:28:37.808 --> 0:28:41.648
<v Speaker 2>how bad this is. I don't feel safe in my

0:28:41.808 --> 0:28:45.768
<v Speaker 2>own home, and I was saying, I'm struggling, I'm struggling.

0:28:46.808 --> 0:28:52.368
<v Speaker 2>He basically said to me, well, the week before, when

0:28:52.368 --> 0:28:54.768
<v Speaker 2>we woke up in the morning, I was doing the

0:28:54.808 --> 0:28:58.768
<v Speaker 2>same thing and we had sex, and it didn't even

0:28:58.768 --> 0:29:00.728
<v Speaker 2>click to me at that point. It took like two

0:29:00.728 --> 0:29:03.488
<v Speaker 2>weeks for it to click that I didn't remember that,

0:29:04.048 --> 0:29:06.688
<v Speaker 2>and I don't just have morning sex. I will always

0:29:06.728 --> 0:29:09.248
<v Speaker 2>go shower, I'll always go brush my teeth. That's just

0:29:09.288 --> 0:29:12.128
<v Speaker 2>what I do. I hate morning breath. I will always

0:29:12.168 --> 0:29:16.368
<v Speaker 2>go brush my teeth. So that being his response, a

0:29:16.408 --> 0:29:18.448
<v Speaker 2>couple of weeks later, I needed to talk to him

0:29:18.488 --> 0:29:20.448
<v Speaker 2>about it again. I just needed to know how many

0:29:20.488 --> 0:29:23.688
<v Speaker 2>times it had been happening, what like, had he been

0:29:23.808 --> 0:29:27.168
<v Speaker 2>undressing me and then trusting me all these times that

0:29:27.288 --> 0:29:32.088
<v Speaker 2>I woke up and I wasn't sure it was certain

0:29:32.128 --> 0:29:34.408
<v Speaker 2>that something had happened, but I was. I could tell,

0:29:34.608 --> 0:29:38.648
<v Speaker 2>like it's just made everything. So I was just in

0:29:38.688 --> 0:29:42.048
<v Speaker 2>a complete state of confusion for so long. So we

0:29:42.128 --> 0:29:45.528
<v Speaker 2>caught up again, and I asked him that morning that

0:29:45.608 --> 0:29:48.088
<v Speaker 2>you said that we had sex the week before I

0:29:48.168 --> 0:29:51.888
<v Speaker 2>woke up when you were doing that. Did I wake

0:29:51.968 --> 0:29:53.648
<v Speaker 2>up and go brush my teeth? Did I get out

0:29:53.688 --> 0:29:55.688
<v Speaker 2>of bed? Did I go brush my teeth? Did I shower?

0:29:55.768 --> 0:29:59.688
<v Speaker 2>He said no, He said that I wasn't awake, and

0:29:59.728 --> 0:30:02.248
<v Speaker 2>he knows that he knows my sleep disorder. He knows

0:30:03.128 --> 0:30:06.848
<v Speaker 2>that you can't just, you know, shake my shoulder and

0:30:07.328 --> 0:30:12.168
<v Speaker 2>expect that I'm awake. My eyes don't look awake, if

0:30:12.208 --> 0:30:15.208
<v Speaker 2>they're open, if they even were open, I don't know.

0:30:15.408 --> 0:30:16.488
<v Speaker 3>But he knows.

0:30:16.808 --> 0:30:19.088
<v Speaker 2>We've been together at five years at that point, so

0:30:19.168 --> 0:30:20.688
<v Speaker 2>he knows.

0:30:21.968 --> 0:30:23.088
<v Speaker 3>It took a.

0:30:23.168 --> 0:30:26.648
<v Speaker 2>While for me to realize the severity of it and

0:30:26.728 --> 0:30:28.888
<v Speaker 2>how bad it actually is, because the whole time I'm

0:30:28.928 --> 0:30:31.208
<v Speaker 2>battling in my head being like, well, we were in

0:30:31.248 --> 0:30:33.848
<v Speaker 2>a relationship, we'd live together, Like maybe it's not that bad.

0:30:34.768 --> 0:30:37.728
<v Speaker 1>While Cindy was grappling with the severity and complexity of

0:30:37.728 --> 0:30:40.328
<v Speaker 1>what she discovered, she was also hit with the news

0:30:40.328 --> 0:30:43.248
<v Speaker 1>that the house she lived in and loved was being sold.

0:30:43.688 --> 0:30:45.888
<v Speaker 1>She had just two months to find somewhere new.

0:30:46.328 --> 0:30:48.408
<v Speaker 2>I sort of didn't have a lot of time to

0:30:48.448 --> 0:30:51.528
<v Speaker 2>think about it. I was house hunting because I had

0:30:51.568 --> 0:30:55.488
<v Speaker 2>nowhere else to go. So my sister and I we

0:30:55.808 --> 0:31:00.528
<v Speaker 2>decided that we would buy a house together. So I

0:31:00.648 --> 0:31:05.328
<v Speaker 2>was looking for a house for us. So Ted and

0:31:05.408 --> 0:31:09.648
<v Speaker 2>I were also planning to live together, but my sister

0:31:09.768 --> 0:31:12.568
<v Speaker 2>and I would be purchasing the home and he would

0:31:12.648 --> 0:31:15.808
<v Speaker 2>move in with us with me. So I was going

0:31:15.848 --> 0:31:19.368
<v Speaker 2>to these home opens. It was getting very taxing. Ted

0:31:19.608 --> 0:31:22.808
<v Speaker 2>was still just doing what he was always been doing,

0:31:23.088 --> 0:31:26.048
<v Speaker 2>I knew music was his number one. So he had

0:31:26.088 --> 0:31:30.648
<v Speaker 2>just started or joined a new band and was spending

0:31:30.648 --> 0:31:36.208
<v Speaker 2>a lot of time at rehearsal and work, and yeah,

0:31:36.288 --> 0:31:39.608
<v Speaker 2>it was just all happening at once. I didn't have

0:31:39.608 --> 0:31:41.328
<v Speaker 2>a whole lot of time to process, and I was

0:31:41.368 --> 0:31:46.368
<v Speaker 2>sort of dealing with it all alone, so we just

0:31:46.448 --> 0:31:50.168
<v Speaker 2>sort of fell back together. But at the same time,

0:31:50.248 --> 0:31:52.248
<v Speaker 2>when I had the home open for the house I

0:31:52.368 --> 0:31:55.168
<v Speaker 2>was living in, Ted said he wanted to move his

0:31:55.248 --> 0:31:58.088
<v Speaker 2>music equipment out because one of the bedrooms we turned

0:31:58.128 --> 0:32:00.688
<v Speaker 2>into a studio for him. He wanted to move all

0:32:00.728 --> 0:32:03.008
<v Speaker 2>the equipment out because he didn't want people to be

0:32:03.088 --> 0:32:06.888
<v Speaker 2>walking through the house with his very expensive collection there.

0:32:07.168 --> 0:32:10.168
<v Speaker 2>And I thought that was fair enough. Sure, I taken

0:32:10.208 --> 0:32:12.008
<v Speaker 2>a lot of my expensive stuff out too, because I

0:32:12.008 --> 0:32:14.448
<v Speaker 2>didn't want random people walking.

0:32:14.168 --> 0:32:14.768
<v Speaker 3>Through the house.

0:32:14.888 --> 0:32:18.408
<v Speaker 2>But he then sort of like moved all of this

0:32:18.488 --> 0:32:23.488
<v Speaker 2>stuff out, which I hadn't really noticed, but I had

0:32:23.608 --> 0:32:27.488
<v Speaker 2>asked him for whenever it is that, you know, it

0:32:27.568 --> 0:32:30.528
<v Speaker 2>is the final week of having this home, I would

0:32:30.608 --> 0:32:33.528
<v Speaker 2>really love a couple of days to myself because it

0:32:33.568 --> 0:32:36.648
<v Speaker 2>was such a special place to me. So I had

0:32:36.728 --> 0:32:40.008
<v Speaker 2>sort of asked if he would vacate before me. But

0:32:40.128 --> 0:32:42.968
<v Speaker 2>this was about a month and a half before we

0:32:43.088 --> 0:32:44.848
<v Speaker 2>had to move out, so I thought it was a

0:32:44.848 --> 0:32:47.808
<v Speaker 2>little bit weird that he was getting a head start

0:32:47.808 --> 0:32:50.168
<v Speaker 2>on that, and the fact he hadn't really spoke to

0:32:50.168 --> 0:32:52.888
<v Speaker 2>me about it at all either. But at that point

0:32:53.568 --> 0:32:57.208
<v Speaker 2>I was very much ready for the space because of

0:32:57.288 --> 0:33:01.048
<v Speaker 2>everything that happened, with what happened while I was sleeping,

0:33:01.528 --> 0:33:04.208
<v Speaker 2>I was quite keen on the idea of him not

0:33:04.688 --> 0:33:08.248
<v Speaker 2>being there all the time, and I just figured we

0:33:08.288 --> 0:33:11.528
<v Speaker 2>were sorted out a little bit later down the line

0:33:11.568 --> 0:33:16.128
<v Speaker 2>when I've found somewhere else to live, because that had

0:33:16.168 --> 0:33:20.408
<v Speaker 2>to be my priority. At that time, he was very

0:33:20.448 --> 0:33:24.368
<v Speaker 2>much spending all of his time at his parents' house.

0:33:24.448 --> 0:33:27.088
<v Speaker 2>Like he moved back to his parents' house. His family

0:33:27.168 --> 0:33:29.288
<v Speaker 2>is very close knit. They were always doing a lot

0:33:29.328 --> 0:33:32.208
<v Speaker 2>of fun things, and once he went back to that life,

0:33:32.248 --> 0:33:37.928
<v Speaker 2>he just really didn't have any interest in spending time

0:33:37.968 --> 0:33:43.608
<v Speaker 2>with me anymore. I think the heaviness of what had happened,

0:33:44.248 --> 0:33:46.848
<v Speaker 2>in my opinion, it seemed like an easy way out.

0:33:46.968 --> 0:33:48.688
<v Speaker 2>It seemed like an easy way for him to just

0:33:48.888 --> 0:33:53.488
<v Speaker 2>drift away and that would be that. And I think

0:33:53.568 --> 0:33:56.848
<v Speaker 2>I was okay with it at that time. Because, like

0:33:56.888 --> 0:33:59.488
<v Speaker 2>I said, I just wanted some space. I wanted him

0:33:59.768 --> 0:34:02.728
<v Speaker 2>just I wanted to sleep. I wanted to sleep and

0:34:02.768 --> 0:34:05.368
<v Speaker 2>feel safe, and I wanted to spend those last moments

0:34:05.408 --> 0:34:09.488
<v Speaker 2>with that house that brought me so much safety as

0:34:09.488 --> 0:34:13.808
<v Speaker 2>a child, And so I wasn't even that bothered by it,

0:34:14.488 --> 0:34:19.167
<v Speaker 2>but it, Yeah, it got to a point where he

0:34:19.208 --> 0:34:24.408
<v Speaker 2>would start just very bluntly saying I'm going to bed,

0:34:24.408 --> 0:34:26.928
<v Speaker 2>good night, and then just like I know he's sleeping habits.

0:34:26.968 --> 0:34:29.647
<v Speaker 2>I know, you know, he sits and scroll like doom

0:34:29.688 --> 0:34:31.008
<v Speaker 2>scrolls for a while on his phone.

0:34:31.008 --> 0:34:31.248
<v Speaker 3>All that.

0:34:31.288 --> 0:34:33.328
<v Speaker 2>But I'd instantly try to call him just because I'd

0:34:33.368 --> 0:34:34.688
<v Speaker 2>want to say I love you, I want to say

0:34:34.688 --> 0:34:38.328
<v Speaker 2>good night, and he wouldn't answer, And that, to me

0:34:38.528 --> 0:34:41.768
<v Speaker 2>was very reminiscent of a time period where he was

0:34:42.768 --> 0:34:50.087
<v Speaker 2>not being faithful to our relationship. So that's when I

0:34:50.208 --> 0:34:55.528
<v Speaker 2>decided to break up with him. He didn't make it easy.

0:34:56.008 --> 0:35:00.768
<v Speaker 2>He wanted to be explosive about it. I tried to

0:35:00.848 --> 0:35:05.048
<v Speaker 2>stop it. I blocked him, I tried to push it away.

0:35:05.168 --> 0:35:06.008
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to.

0:35:05.928 --> 0:35:07.168
<v Speaker 3>Deal with it.

0:35:07.168 --> 0:35:11.728
<v Speaker 2>It got to a point where I asked for the

0:35:11.848 --> 0:35:18.288
<v Speaker 2>keys back to my house and he refused. He said no,

0:35:18.568 --> 0:35:23.328
<v Speaker 2>which was a bit surprising, but it just spiraled from

0:35:23.328 --> 0:35:26.087
<v Speaker 2>there and it got to a point where I had

0:35:26.088 --> 0:35:30.248
<v Speaker 2>to tell my parents what was going on because I

0:35:30.248 --> 0:35:34.527
<v Speaker 2>I have a past with self harm and I was

0:35:35.288 --> 0:35:37.928
<v Speaker 2>getting really triggered at that point, so I had to

0:35:37.928 --> 0:35:42.488
<v Speaker 2>tell someone. So my parents says, stop messaging him, we

0:35:42.528 --> 0:35:46.368
<v Speaker 2>will handle it. And my dad, who worked down near

0:35:46.408 --> 0:35:49.607
<v Speaker 2>where his parents lived, gave him a text and said, hey, mate,

0:35:49.608 --> 0:35:53.368
<v Speaker 2>I'm coming to get the keys. I'll see you at six,

0:35:53.648 --> 0:35:59.688
<v Speaker 2>And basically Ted left two of the keys in the

0:35:59.768 --> 0:36:05.248
<v Speaker 2>letterbox and kept the other two. I needed to know

0:36:05.368 --> 0:36:08.648
<v Speaker 2>that I was safe in that house for the remainder

0:36:09.528 --> 0:36:12.048
<v Speaker 2>of I think it was two weeks that I had left,

0:36:13.008 --> 0:36:17.848
<v Speaker 2>and the next lines of communication just kept open because

0:36:17.888 --> 0:36:22.008
<v Speaker 2>of those keys. It seemed a little calculated to me

0:36:23.688 --> 0:36:29.608
<v Speaker 2>because he was aware of how I would respond or

0:36:29.688 --> 0:36:34.648
<v Speaker 2>react to behavior like that. I don't handle it well.

0:36:34.888 --> 0:36:40.208
<v Speaker 2>I can be quite reactive to stress, because to me,

0:36:40.328 --> 0:36:43.288
<v Speaker 2>it felt like torture at that time, because it was

0:36:43.328 --> 0:36:44.928
<v Speaker 2>just like, why can't you just give me the keys?

0:36:45.768 --> 0:36:49.768
<v Speaker 2>Why can't I have the keys to my house? And

0:36:49.848 --> 0:36:53.008
<v Speaker 2>all the while it's you know, there's still these jabs

0:36:53.128 --> 0:36:58.567
<v Speaker 2>coming through in text form and name calling, and it

0:36:58.648 --> 0:37:02.607
<v Speaker 2>was just sort of a recipe for absolute disaster. It

0:37:02.648 --> 0:37:07.128
<v Speaker 2>got to a point where I had to tell him, please,

0:37:07.808 --> 0:37:11.968
<v Speaker 2>please stop. You are triggering me and I am scared

0:37:12.008 --> 0:37:15.608
<v Speaker 2>that I'm going to relapse. I need you to stop

0:37:15.648 --> 0:37:17.408
<v Speaker 2>calling me names.

0:37:18.208 --> 0:37:20.888
<v Speaker 3>Just stop. And he.

0:37:22.328 --> 0:37:25.568
<v Speaker 2>Gave me a call. He called me, which I actually

0:37:25.608 --> 0:37:28.527
<v Speaker 2>really appreciated, and he just said, hey, look, everything's going

0:37:28.608 --> 0:37:30.648
<v Speaker 2>to be all right. Go to bed, go to sleep,

0:37:31.488 --> 0:37:34.168
<v Speaker 2>we'll talk in the morning. And I know that he

0:37:34.208 --> 0:37:38.127
<v Speaker 2>didn't mean like, oh, we will be okay, but I

0:37:38.168 --> 0:37:41.368
<v Speaker 2>had taken from that that he meant we would be

0:37:41.408 --> 0:37:45.727
<v Speaker 2>adults about this, we would make peace. I went to bed.

0:37:45.808 --> 0:37:48.688
<v Speaker 2>I wake up the next morning, he once again has

0:37:48.688 --> 0:37:53.168
<v Speaker 2>blocked me on everything, and that that really fucked me

0:37:53.328 --> 0:37:58.808
<v Speaker 2>up because it was just so unnecessary, like you never

0:37:58.848 --> 0:38:01.127
<v Speaker 2>had to say you would call if you didn't mean it,

0:38:02.048 --> 0:38:03.928
<v Speaker 2>And to me, it was just all the more confusing

0:38:03.928 --> 0:38:05.968
<v Speaker 2>because at that point I was thinking, Oh, we're just

0:38:05.968 --> 0:38:09.648
<v Speaker 2>going to make peace. Maybe one day WI can smile

0:38:09.848 --> 0:38:12.008
<v Speaker 2>across the room from each other at a show and

0:38:12.608 --> 0:38:16.688
<v Speaker 2>remember some good times. I found a way to message,

0:38:16.728 --> 0:38:19.127
<v Speaker 2>and that was through email, and he hadn't blocked me

0:38:19.808 --> 0:38:23.848
<v Speaker 2>and I just said, why would you do that? That

0:38:24.128 --> 0:38:28.808
<v Speaker 2>is completely evil and he said, don't contact me again.

0:38:28.888 --> 0:38:33.408
<v Speaker 2>I'm calling a welfare check. Se Ya. And the police

0:38:33.488 --> 0:38:36.127
<v Speaker 2>were at my door twenty minutes later on, and I

0:38:36.168 --> 0:38:39.607
<v Speaker 2>cannot tell you how relieved I was to see them,

0:38:39.728 --> 0:38:43.288
<v Speaker 2>because it was just like, it all felt like torture

0:38:43.368 --> 0:38:46.688
<v Speaker 2>up to that point, so I just I was just

0:38:46.808 --> 0:38:50.768
<v Speaker 2>relieved to see them. And they obviously sat me down

0:38:50.808 --> 0:38:52.208
<v Speaker 2>and they asked, like, how do we get here?

0:38:52.288 --> 0:38:52.928
<v Speaker 3>What's going on?

0:38:53.088 --> 0:38:54.968
<v Speaker 2>And I just sort of gave them a brief rundown

0:38:55.008 --> 0:38:57.168
<v Speaker 2>of everything that had happened the last few months, the

0:38:57.288 --> 0:39:02.607
<v Speaker 2>house hunting, the sleeping incidents, a lot of all the

0:39:02.688 --> 0:39:07.368
<v Speaker 2>stresses that we were going through. And they asked me,

0:39:07.608 --> 0:39:10.087
<v Speaker 2>they said, you know, you don't have to, but we

0:39:10.128 --> 0:39:12.408
<v Speaker 2>would like to take you to the hospital. And I said, yeah,

0:39:12.448 --> 0:39:15.808
<v Speaker 2>of course, please, So I jumped in the car. So

0:39:15.888 --> 0:39:17.808
<v Speaker 2>the police still took me to the hospital, which was

0:39:17.888 --> 0:39:21.568
<v Speaker 2>fine on the way there. So about twenty minutes or

0:39:21.648 --> 0:39:24.888
<v Speaker 2>so after I had given them that quick rundown, one

0:39:24.928 --> 0:39:27.368
<v Speaker 2>of the police officers turned around in the car and

0:39:27.408 --> 0:39:29.968
<v Speaker 2>they just said, hey, look, just to let you know,

0:39:30.088 --> 0:39:33.608
<v Speaker 2>there's no statute of limitations when it comes to sexual abuse,

0:39:33.688 --> 0:39:37.328
<v Speaker 2>So if you want to report it today, you can,

0:39:37.608 --> 0:39:39.888
<v Speaker 2>or if you want to report it in ten years,

0:39:39.928 --> 0:39:44.088
<v Speaker 2>you can. So I was just like, Okay, yeah, sure,

0:39:44.768 --> 0:39:48.408
<v Speaker 2>and I went to a mental health evaluation unit. I

0:39:48.488 --> 0:39:52.527
<v Speaker 2>sat there in a glassroom for maybe five or six hours,

0:39:52.568 --> 0:39:56.008
<v Speaker 2>and I had a lot of time to think and

0:39:56.408 --> 0:40:01.128
<v Speaker 2>having it validated by the police that it was sexual

0:40:01.208 --> 0:40:07.088
<v Speaker 2>abuse because I hadn't that term hadn't entered my mind.

0:40:07.928 --> 0:40:12.488
<v Speaker 2>That was a moment where I just decided to report

0:40:12.728 --> 0:40:18.328
<v Speaker 2>what had happened, because just having that validation was very

0:40:18.408 --> 0:40:20.808
<v Speaker 2>eye opening and it took me. But I sat there

0:40:20.848 --> 0:40:25.288
<v Speaker 2>in that room for hours, and you know, I didn't

0:40:25.288 --> 0:40:28.168
<v Speaker 2>even pick up my phone. I was just thinking and

0:40:28.888 --> 0:40:33.288
<v Speaker 2>going over everything going over the last few months, for

0:40:33.288 --> 0:40:37.208
<v Speaker 2>the last few years, and it seemed like that was

0:40:37.488 --> 0:40:41.448
<v Speaker 2>the right thing to do because at that time I

0:40:41.488 --> 0:40:47.328
<v Speaker 2>was feeling like the narrative was being completely flipped to

0:40:47.448 --> 0:40:51.768
<v Speaker 2>make me look unstable, which I think is what the

0:40:51.848 --> 0:40:56.808
<v Speaker 2>welfare check was for. I had all the specialists come in,

0:40:57.248 --> 0:41:00.127
<v Speaker 2>They did what they had to do and answered all

0:41:00.128 --> 0:41:05.008
<v Speaker 2>their questions, and basically they diagnosed it as an adjustment

0:41:05.568 --> 0:41:10.368
<v Speaker 2>reaction or adjustment disorder, which is. It's a strong but

0:41:10.688 --> 0:41:17.047
<v Speaker 2>temporary response to a stressful life event. There were times

0:41:17.088 --> 0:41:20.127
<v Speaker 2>where I did question, am I okay? Am I bipolar

0:41:20.248 --> 0:41:23.328
<v Speaker 2>am IVPD? Because this man keeps telling me I am

0:41:24.248 --> 0:41:29.728
<v Speaker 2>and no, he was just a very normal reaction to

0:41:30.808 --> 0:41:33.808
<v Speaker 2>the situations that I was in. But I'm really grateful

0:41:33.808 --> 0:41:38.008
<v Speaker 2>that I went and did that because I got a

0:41:38.008 --> 0:41:40.248
<v Speaker 2>lot out of it. He did me a favor in

0:41:40.288 --> 0:41:44.808
<v Speaker 2>that sense. I made the report later that day once

0:41:44.848 --> 0:41:49.368
<v Speaker 2>I was home and I'd had some time to just yeah,

0:41:49.488 --> 0:41:53.768
<v Speaker 2>decompress a bit more in my own space, and I

0:41:53.808 --> 0:41:58.408
<v Speaker 2>had a detective message me back I think two days later,

0:41:59.568 --> 0:42:05.328
<v Speaker 2>and they were, you know, suggesting safety measures that should

0:42:05.368 --> 0:42:09.808
<v Speaker 2>be taken, considering that he has house keys of mine

0:42:10.008 --> 0:42:14.208
<v Speaker 2>and all these things to do, and it was getting

0:42:14.288 --> 0:42:18.808
<v Speaker 2>quite real. I was getting quite overwhelmed with it all,

0:42:20.168 --> 0:42:26.008
<v Speaker 2>all while thinking so deeply about what had happened while

0:42:26.008 --> 0:42:26.768
<v Speaker 2>I was sleeping.

0:42:27.728 --> 0:42:30.008
<v Speaker 1>It was a brave move, one that brought her both

0:42:30.088 --> 0:42:33.127
<v Speaker 1>relief and a sense of release, But there was still

0:42:33.168 --> 0:42:36.288
<v Speaker 1>one more thing Cindy needed to know to truly find closure.

0:42:37.208 --> 0:42:39.448
<v Speaker 2>I sent him one more message and I just said,

0:42:39.488 --> 0:42:42.528
<v Speaker 2>I just need to know how many times it happened

0:42:43.848 --> 0:42:51.607
<v Speaker 2>and the way he responded is something that I personally

0:42:51.768 --> 0:42:55.408
<v Speaker 2>feel like was the worst thing that happened in the

0:42:55.448 --> 0:43:00.048
<v Speaker 2>five years. Words that he wrote to me in response

0:43:00.088 --> 0:43:03.768
<v Speaker 2>to me just asking how many times it happened they

0:43:04.768 --> 0:43:11.728
<v Speaker 2>almost completely destroyed me. And yeah, I don't know how

0:43:11.768 --> 0:43:17.168
<v Speaker 2>I even got past that. He attacked every part of

0:43:17.248 --> 0:43:21.968
<v Speaker 2>my beam. He made some real fucked up comments about

0:43:21.968 --> 0:43:27.608
<v Speaker 2>my body, which just I remember laying in the shower,

0:43:27.928 --> 0:43:34.288
<v Speaker 2>just on the floor, not knowing how the fuck I

0:43:34.408 --> 0:43:38.688
<v Speaker 2>was gonna ever look at myself again, How would ever

0:43:38.808 --> 0:43:39.488
<v Speaker 2>getting through it?

0:43:39.728 --> 0:43:41.328
<v Speaker 3>How would ever loved myself?

0:43:42.768 --> 0:43:45.848
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I cried every day about it for like the

0:43:45.888 --> 0:43:49.168
<v Speaker 2>next four months, and clearly I still cry when I

0:43:49.208 --> 0:43:49.888
<v Speaker 2>think about it.

0:43:49.888 --> 0:43:59.568
<v Speaker 3>It's horrible. It's just the worst person alive, all while.

0:43:59.448 --> 0:44:04.208
<v Speaker 2>Telling me that I'm a low, worthless and undeserving of love.

0:44:08.208 --> 0:44:11.608
<v Speaker 2>So I's been a couple hours, like on the floor

0:44:11.688 --> 0:44:14.208
<v Speaker 2>in a bad place, and then I don't know what

0:44:14.408 --> 0:44:18.208
<v Speaker 2>came over me, but I just went fuck it. If

0:44:18.208 --> 0:44:20.208
<v Speaker 2>you're going to talk to me like that, I will

0:44:20.488 --> 0:44:23.047
<v Speaker 2>show everyone how you talk to me. So I just

0:44:23.128 --> 0:44:28.848
<v Speaker 2>posted screenshots of the emails on my Instagram, because if

0:44:28.848 --> 0:44:31.488
<v Speaker 2>you're going to say it to me through email.

0:44:31.848 --> 0:44:34.088
<v Speaker 3>Let everyone see I've got no shame.

0:44:34.728 --> 0:44:37.648
<v Speaker 2>Under the encouragement of the police, because he had keys

0:44:37.688 --> 0:44:42.728
<v Speaker 2>to my home, I was instructed to put a restrained

0:44:42.728 --> 0:44:46.167
<v Speaker 2>in order against him, which I did, which he did

0:44:46.208 --> 0:44:49.207
<v Speaker 2>not object to. So that's in place now for two years,

0:44:49.248 --> 0:44:52.608
<v Speaker 2>so there will not be no more communication. And the

0:44:52.768 --> 0:44:58.167
<v Speaker 2>Instagram thing, you know, not my finest moment, but it's

0:44:58.288 --> 0:45:04.488
<v Speaker 2>like I was being berated through messages. I don't know.

0:45:05.528 --> 0:45:08.567
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what else to tell you it they

0:45:09.048 --> 0:45:10.368
<v Speaker 2>disappeared after.

0:45:10.168 --> 0:45:11.647
<v Speaker 3>Twenty four hours. That's bur real.

0:45:12.008 --> 0:45:14.527
<v Speaker 1>Despite everything she was going through, since he found the

0:45:14.568 --> 0:45:18.128
<v Speaker 1>strength and determination to stay focused on what mattered most

0:45:18.168 --> 0:45:21.488
<v Speaker 1>to her, the things that brought her genuine happiness even

0:45:21.528 --> 0:45:24.248
<v Speaker 1>in the midst of turmoil, she held on to that clarity,

0:45:24.608 --> 0:45:26.808
<v Speaker 1>using it as an anchor to keep moving forward.

0:45:27.368 --> 0:45:31.167
<v Speaker 2>I bought a home, and it's a beautiful house. And

0:45:31.248 --> 0:45:34.088
<v Speaker 2>it took quite a while for me to be able

0:45:34.088 --> 0:45:37.288
<v Speaker 2>to even enjoy it and to be excited about it,

0:45:37.328 --> 0:45:41.568
<v Speaker 2>because yeah, when I moved in, I couldn't even walk,

0:45:41.808 --> 0:45:45.248
<v Speaker 2>so and my seven year old almost parents are like

0:45:45.968 --> 0:45:49.128
<v Speaker 2>helping move my entire life into this house.

0:45:49.288 --> 0:45:52.768
<v Speaker 3>And it was rough, it was really rough.

0:45:52.608 --> 0:46:00.567
<v Speaker 2>But I again, have such incredible friends and they've been

0:46:00.648 --> 0:46:04.848
<v Speaker 2>with me through every step of the way, and I'm

0:46:04.888 --> 0:46:07.728
<v Speaker 2>just so so blessed to have them.

0:46:07.928 --> 0:46:08.648
<v Speaker 3>They're the best.

0:46:09.208 --> 0:46:14.168
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it took a while, I think because of the

0:46:14.248 --> 0:46:18.368
<v Speaker 2>comments he made and stuff. I did jump back out

0:46:18.448 --> 0:46:24.888
<v Speaker 2>there and tried to find self worth from men and

0:46:25.168 --> 0:46:28.047
<v Speaker 2>like whatever. It was fun for a little bit. It's not.

0:46:29.688 --> 0:46:30.528
<v Speaker 3>Off that now.

0:46:30.768 --> 0:46:35.087
<v Speaker 2>I'm just focusing on myself and working on myself. I

0:46:35.208 --> 0:46:39.848
<v Speaker 2>was accepted into a specialist therapy program that you have

0:46:39.928 --> 0:46:43.488
<v Speaker 2>to apply for because they have such a long wait

0:46:43.528 --> 0:46:49.368
<v Speaker 2>list for the sexual assault. So that was also a

0:46:49.448 --> 0:46:55.328
<v Speaker 2>lot more validation them hearing what had happened and seeing

0:46:55.368 --> 0:47:01.208
<v Speaker 2>that I needed immediate care, and that's been really really helpful.

0:47:01.288 --> 0:47:06.527
<v Speaker 2>I actually really love therapy. It's been a godsend.

0:47:06.928 --> 0:47:08.848
<v Speaker 1>And as for the charges against Ted.

0:47:09.088 --> 0:47:13.088
<v Speaker 2>What they do situations where something like that has occurred.

0:47:13.208 --> 0:47:16.728
<v Speaker 2>They would usually wire you up so you can speak

0:47:16.768 --> 0:47:20.607
<v Speaker 2>to that person so you can get a confession. I

0:47:20.688 --> 0:47:24.928
<v Speaker 2>do have messages of him admitting it, but it probably wouldn't.

0:47:24.568 --> 0:47:26.088
<v Speaker 3>Be enough in court.

0:47:26.448 --> 0:47:30.688
<v Speaker 2>So I was basically told it can be really overwhelming

0:47:30.968 --> 0:47:35.808
<v Speaker 2>and it might not go the way that would be

0:47:35.808 --> 0:47:38.408
<v Speaker 2>best for me. And because at that time I was

0:47:38.528 --> 0:47:44.368
<v Speaker 2>moving house. At that point, I wasn't capable of physically

0:47:44.488 --> 0:47:50.248
<v Speaker 2>moving because my back and my legs had completely seized

0:47:50.328 --> 0:47:53.008
<v Speaker 2>from all the stress. So I was dealing with a

0:47:53.048 --> 0:47:56.808
<v Speaker 2>lot at the time. It's not canceled, it's just on

0:47:56.888 --> 0:47:59.087
<v Speaker 2>the back burner. So if I want to reopen it

0:47:59.128 --> 0:48:02.248
<v Speaker 2>at any time, I can. If I want to go

0:48:02.408 --> 0:48:06.088
<v Speaker 2>through the processes that come along with it, I can.

0:48:06.528 --> 0:48:09.408
<v Speaker 2>I just at that time, I wasn't feeling strong enough

0:48:11.048 --> 0:48:13.688
<v Speaker 2>or I didn't have the capacity for it at that time.

0:48:14.808 --> 0:48:18.127
<v Speaker 2>But I did hand everything over of what I did

0:48:18.168 --> 0:48:23.368
<v Speaker 2>have to the sex crime Squad. I'm really excited for

0:48:24.568 --> 0:48:28.928
<v Speaker 2>the future, and just I've got this beautiful home that

0:48:29.208 --> 0:48:31.527
<v Speaker 2>I get to work on all the time, and I'm

0:48:31.608 --> 0:48:35.168
<v Speaker 2>working a lot and still see my friends so much.

0:48:35.208 --> 0:48:38.087
<v Speaker 2>And I feel like it never would have ended had

0:48:38.088 --> 0:48:40.648
<v Speaker 2>it not come to the way that it did end.

0:48:41.008 --> 0:48:43.728
<v Speaker 3>Because it's just it was so bad. It's so back.

0:48:43.568 --> 0:48:48.248
<v Speaker 2>And forth for years, Like if it didn't blow up

0:48:48.408 --> 0:48:49.888
<v Speaker 2>the way that it did, I don't know if it

0:48:49.968 --> 0:48:54.208
<v Speaker 2>ever would have ended. So in a way, you know,

0:48:54.288 --> 0:48:58.848
<v Speaker 2>I see that I'm definitely where I need to be now,

0:49:00.288 --> 0:49:06.128
<v Speaker 2>and I don't need to ever again find my self

0:49:06.168 --> 0:49:11.087
<v Speaker 2>worth through a man that's not it's not who I

0:49:11.128 --> 0:49:14.808
<v Speaker 2>want to be anymore, and through means like therapy and

0:49:15.168 --> 0:49:17.928
<v Speaker 2>just having the support of my loved ones. I'm going

0:49:18.008 --> 0:49:23.248
<v Speaker 2>to be completely fine. I'm excited to just have this

0:49:23.368 --> 0:49:25.248
<v Speaker 2>all behind me. I feel like this is my way

0:49:25.288 --> 0:49:28.408
<v Speaker 2>of sort of closing that chapter, because that's.

0:49:28.248 --> 0:49:29.687
<v Speaker 3>All it is at the end of the day.

0:49:30.088 --> 0:49:32.808
<v Speaker 2>It's not my whole it's not my whole life.

0:49:32.848 --> 0:49:35.848
<v Speaker 3>It's not my whole story. It's just a.

0:49:35.848 --> 0:49:39.208
<v Speaker 2>Shitty part of it. It's very early days, but I

0:49:39.248 --> 0:49:42.928
<v Speaker 2>have met someone pretty cool who doesn't It's like a

0:49:42.968 --> 0:49:46.328
<v Speaker 2>long distance thing, so it's kind of cool having that space,

0:49:47.248 --> 0:49:52.328
<v Speaker 2>which is nice. But Ted didn't kill my desire to

0:49:52.408 --> 0:49:55.328
<v Speaker 2>find love and to love and to be loved and

0:49:55.368 --> 0:50:01.088
<v Speaker 2>all that. He didn't take away my sexuality or anything.

0:50:01.168 --> 0:50:02.248
<v Speaker 3>He you know.

0:50:02.288 --> 0:50:05.488
<v Speaker 2>If anything, he's strengthened that. My self worth is a

0:50:05.528 --> 0:50:11.208
<v Speaker 2>lot better. I trust myself a lot more now. I

0:50:11.248 --> 0:50:15.448
<v Speaker 2>haven't yet gone down any bad paths or anything. So

0:50:15.488 --> 0:50:19.688
<v Speaker 2>I'm really proud of myself for getting myself out of it.

0:50:20.328 --> 0:50:22.888
<v Speaker 2>I've got a lot to look forward to and a

0:50:22.928 --> 0:50:40.728
<v Speaker 2>lot of new people to meet, new memories, to be made.

0:50:43.808 --> 0:50:46.728
<v Speaker 1>Everyone Has an Ex's a Minti Media production and proudly

0:50:46.808 --> 0:50:49.968
<v Speaker 1>part of the MoMA Me Network. This interview was conducted

0:50:50.008 --> 0:50:52.928
<v Speaker 1>and the episode narrated by me Georgia Love and written

0:50:53.008 --> 0:50:55.488
<v Speaker 1>and produced by Linda Scott. If you have a story

0:50:55.488 --> 0:50:58.448
<v Speaker 1>you'd like to share, email podcast at momamea dot com

0:50:58.448 --> 0:51:01.087
<v Speaker 1>dot au. You can support us by following the show

0:51:01.088 --> 0:51:03.768
<v Speaker 1>and your favorite podcast app and leaving a five star review.

0:51:04.008 --> 0:51:07.928
<v Speaker 1>We'll see you for the next episode.