1 00:00:10,365 --> 00:00:14,165 Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mom and Me a podcast. Mama 2 00:00:14,205 --> 00:00:16,965 Speaker 1: Miya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that 3 00:00:17,005 --> 00:00:19,845 Speaker 1: this podcast is recorded on. For Mama Mia, this is 4 00:00:19,885 --> 00:00:22,565 Speaker 1: no filter. I'm mea Friedman and I have been a 5 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:27,085 Speaker 1: bridesmaid twice. If I had to give myself a rating 6 00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:29,805 Speaker 1: for how I performed the duties of this role, it 7 00:00:29,845 --> 00:00:32,685 Speaker 1: would be two stars. The first time, it was for 8 00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:35,005 Speaker 1: my sister in law, and she was a really low 9 00:00:35,045 --> 00:00:38,205 Speaker 1: maintenance bride, and it was a really low key wedding, 10 00:00:38,245 --> 00:00:39,685 Speaker 1: so I didn't have a lot to do. I didn't 11 00:00:39,725 --> 00:00:42,525 Speaker 1: have to organize a hen's night or a kitchen tea 12 00:00:42,645 --> 00:00:45,245 Speaker 1: or a bridal shower. I don't know. Maybe I was 13 00:00:45,365 --> 00:00:47,445 Speaker 1: sort of expected to, but I didn't, and I don't 14 00:00:47,485 --> 00:00:50,965 Speaker 1: remember that she complained. I really just had one job, 15 00:00:51,045 --> 00:00:53,685 Speaker 1: which was to be responsible for the wedding ring, which 16 00:00:53,685 --> 00:00:56,245 Speaker 1: my sister in law would give to my brother during 17 00:00:56,245 --> 00:01:00,005 Speaker 1: the ceremony. Can you guess what happened? Halfway through the ceremony, 18 00:01:00,045 --> 00:01:02,205 Speaker 1: I realized that I had forgotten it. I'd left it 19 00:01:02,285 --> 00:01:05,205 Speaker 1: at her house, so I had to gesture to the 20 00:01:05,245 --> 00:01:08,285 Speaker 1: best man to take off his own wedding ring and 21 00:01:08,405 --> 00:01:12,125 Speaker 1: pass it to me subtly so that I could discreetly 22 00:01:12,165 --> 00:01:14,245 Speaker 1: smuggle it to the bride, who was very calm and 23 00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:17,245 Speaker 1: very cool about the whole thing. And I also think 24 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:19,285 Speaker 1: I was in the early stages of pregnancy, so I 25 00:01:19,285 --> 00:01:21,725 Speaker 1: remember throwing up at the reception and then leaving early 26 00:01:22,285 --> 00:01:25,725 Speaker 1: to go home and sleep utterly useless. The second time, 27 00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,525 Speaker 1: it was a very different kind of wedding. It was 28 00:01:27,525 --> 00:01:30,125 Speaker 1: for one of my best friends. And you have never 29 00:01:30,205 --> 00:01:33,525 Speaker 1: met a bride who brided harder than she did. Not 30 00:01:33,605 --> 00:01:37,005 Speaker 1: that she was a bridezilla. She just had high standards 31 00:01:37,485 --> 00:01:40,885 Speaker 1: which I really didn't meet. And again she was very 32 00:01:40,885 --> 00:01:44,125 Speaker 1: lovely about it. Maybe I have too much main character 33 00:01:44,245 --> 00:01:47,765 Speaker 1: energy to be a good bridesmaid, but I just get 34 00:01:47,805 --> 00:01:50,205 Speaker 1: impatient with the whole thing. Even when I was a bride, 35 00:01:50,285 --> 00:01:53,085 Speaker 1: I'm not interested in the kitchen teas and the hens 36 00:01:53,205 --> 00:01:57,005 Speaker 1: nights and the traditions and the fittings and the fussing. 37 00:01:57,165 --> 00:02:00,565 Speaker 1: I find it boring anyway. See, I can't believe that 38 00:02:00,605 --> 00:02:02,485 Speaker 1: I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid by anyone else 39 00:02:02,525 --> 00:02:05,685 Speaker 1: after that. Weddings really are like putting on a play. 40 00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:08,765 Speaker 1: It's a performance where the bride is the main character. 41 00:02:08,885 --> 00:02:12,845 Speaker 1: And that means she needs a supporting cast. She needs 42 00:02:13,005 --> 00:02:17,005 Speaker 1: not a co star, but a supporting actress, someone who 43 00:02:17,005 --> 00:02:20,005 Speaker 1: can help her with all the bridy things. And that's 44 00:02:20,045 --> 00:02:23,525 Speaker 1: what the bride'smaid is meant to do. The bride'smaid is different, 45 00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:26,085 Speaker 1: of course, from a wedding planner because they don't have 46 00:02:26,165 --> 00:02:28,925 Speaker 1: to deal with the venue or the flowers or the 47 00:02:29,005 --> 00:02:33,605 Speaker 1: seating arrangements. Bride'smaids are there for the freak outs and 48 00:02:33,845 --> 00:02:38,205 Speaker 1: the emotions. Bridesmaids are there to help create the vibe. 49 00:02:38,685 --> 00:02:42,165 Speaker 1: And the vibe can be a lot of work, so 50 00:02:42,405 --> 00:02:46,605 Speaker 1: can managing the emotional rollercoaster that is a bride. It 51 00:02:46,645 --> 00:02:50,165 Speaker 1: can really feel like a job. So maybe it should 52 00:02:50,205 --> 00:02:52,765 Speaker 1: be a job. And my guest today has made it 53 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:56,845 Speaker 1: a job. Jen Glance is a professional bridesmaid and on 54 00:02:56,885 --> 00:03:00,325 Speaker 1: her website Bridesmaid for Hire you can do just that. 55 00:03:01,085 --> 00:03:03,605 Speaker 1: Hiring a bridesmaid is kind of like hiring a best 56 00:03:03,605 --> 00:03:10,085 Speaker 1: friend or a personal cheerleader slash bodyguard slash emotional support animal. 57 00:03:11,005 --> 00:03:13,485 Speaker 1: Jen has a lot of tea to spills. She has 58 00:03:13,525 --> 00:03:16,645 Speaker 1: seen it all, the drama, the cold feet, the arguments, 59 00:03:16,645 --> 00:03:20,805 Speaker 1: the romance, the disasters. She's been fired by brides and 60 00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:25,605 Speaker 1: she has fired brides herself. I had questions, like, do 61 00:03:25,685 --> 00:03:28,085 Speaker 1: all the people at the wedding know that she's being 62 00:03:28,285 --> 00:03:31,845 Speaker 1: paid to be there? Is that weird? What does she charge? 63 00:03:32,325 --> 00:03:34,445 Speaker 1: She must have a lot of dresses, and who pays 64 00:03:34,445 --> 00:03:38,245 Speaker 1: for those dresses? And after attending so many weddings, what 65 00:03:38,405 --> 00:03:41,845 Speaker 1: has she learned about love and about brides and what 66 00:03:41,885 --> 00:03:43,765 Speaker 1: does she do with all the dresses? And could maybe 67 00:03:43,805 --> 00:03:46,485 Speaker 1: I have some? Although no, no one really loves their 68 00:03:46,485 --> 00:03:47,645 Speaker 1: bridesmaid dresses. 69 00:03:47,325 --> 00:03:47,645 Speaker 2: Do they? 70 00:03:48,485 --> 00:03:50,845 Speaker 1: Well get ready to hear the answer to all those 71 00:03:50,845 --> 00:03:57,005 Speaker 1: burning questions. Here is professional Bridesmaid Jen Glance. Listen, let's 72 00:03:57,005 --> 00:03:59,405 Speaker 1: just jump straight in. We can chart some of your 73 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,525 Speaker 1: life through the books that you write. First one was, 74 00:04:01,565 --> 00:04:04,765 Speaker 1: all my friends are engaged, talk to me about this 75 00:04:04,925 --> 00:04:05,965 Speaker 1: time in your life. 76 00:04:06,405 --> 00:04:09,085 Speaker 2: So in my early twenties, all of my friends were 77 00:04:09,325 --> 00:04:12,605 Speaker 2: getting married, We're getting engaged. I was perpetually single. I 78 00:04:12,645 --> 00:04:14,645 Speaker 2: don't think I even scored a second date at that 79 00:04:14,765 --> 00:04:17,485 Speaker 2: time in my life. And I was always a bridesmaid. 80 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,685 Speaker 2: And it was fun for a while until it wasn't. 81 00:04:20,165 --> 00:04:23,285 Speaker 2: And what ended up happening was distant friends that I 82 00:04:23,445 --> 00:04:26,085 Speaker 2: hardly knew were asking me to be a bridesmaid. I 83 00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:28,365 Speaker 2: just thought to myself, like, this is so weird. Why 84 00:04:28,405 --> 00:04:30,725 Speaker 2: am I being a bridesmaid for people who I hardly 85 00:04:30,765 --> 00:04:31,725 Speaker 2: speak to anymore. 86 00:04:31,965 --> 00:04:34,325 Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that there were some good things 87 00:04:34,365 --> 00:04:37,845 Speaker 1: about it, but also some bad things. I don't know 88 00:04:38,285 --> 00:04:41,805 Speaker 1: many people who enjoyed being a bridesmaid. What was your 89 00:04:41,885 --> 00:04:45,365 Speaker 1: experience as an actual bridesmaid? Like, did it send you broke? 90 00:04:45,725 --> 00:04:47,645 Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I mean in my early twenties, I was 91 00:04:47,685 --> 00:04:50,165 Speaker 2: living in New York City and I had all of 92 00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:53,045 Speaker 2: these friends from college getting married, and I didn't realize 93 00:04:53,045 --> 00:04:55,085 Speaker 2: how much it actually costs to be a bridesmaid. But 94 00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:57,245 Speaker 2: before you know it, you're spending four hundred dollars on 95 00:04:57,285 --> 00:05:00,325 Speaker 2: a bridesmaid dress, You're going to these bachelorette parties, you're 96 00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:03,525 Speaker 2: taking off work for their wedding experience. And it was 97 00:05:03,565 --> 00:05:05,365 Speaker 2: fun at first, you know, the first couple of times, 98 00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,725 Speaker 2: you're like, this is great, I'm paying to party. That's 99 00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:10,085 Speaker 2: what it felt like, right, And then after a while 100 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:12,645 Speaker 2: you were like, wow, this is like being an unpaid intern. 101 00:05:12,805 --> 00:05:16,085 Speaker 2: Because as a bridesmaid, you're more than just the bride's friend. 102 00:05:16,245 --> 00:05:18,445 Speaker 2: You're that person who's doing a lot of their dirty 103 00:05:18,525 --> 00:05:20,125 Speaker 2: work and it feels like a job. 104 00:05:20,485 --> 00:05:22,525 Speaker 1: It really does feel like a job. And then you 105 00:05:22,605 --> 00:05:24,645 Speaker 1: actually made it into a job. Can you tell me 106 00:05:24,645 --> 00:05:27,165 Speaker 1: about the aha moment where you thought this could actually 107 00:05:27,165 --> 00:05:29,085 Speaker 1: be a business. I could make money out of this 108 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:30,765 Speaker 1: instead of spending my own money. 109 00:05:31,085 --> 00:05:33,725 Speaker 2: You know, in my early twenties, when distant friends were 110 00:05:33,765 --> 00:05:36,205 Speaker 2: asking me to be a bridesmaid, I thought to myself, Okay, 111 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,925 Speaker 2: if I could do this for people who I haven't 112 00:05:37,925 --> 00:05:41,285 Speaker 2: spoken to in months or years, why not do this 113 00:05:41,365 --> 00:05:44,285 Speaker 2: for strangers. So I posted an ad on the Internet 114 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:47,845 Speaker 2: offering my services as a hired bridesmaid for strangers. And 115 00:05:47,885 --> 00:05:51,125 Speaker 2: the ad received hundreds of responses from people all over 116 00:05:51,165 --> 00:05:53,605 Speaker 2: the world, even people in Australia. They were like, we 117 00:05:53,685 --> 00:05:55,845 Speaker 2: need you, we want to hire you. And that's when 118 00:05:55,845 --> 00:05:58,965 Speaker 2: I realized, Okay, there's a business here. Nobody's ever tried 119 00:05:59,005 --> 00:06:00,925 Speaker 2: it before, and I'm going to put myself out there 120 00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:03,245 Speaker 2: and do it. And that was ten years ago. 121 00:06:03,445 --> 00:06:05,805 Speaker 1: Do you remember what the ad said, because it's a 122 00:06:05,845 --> 00:06:09,325 Speaker 1: concept that I'd never heard of before I read about you. 123 00:06:09,405 --> 00:06:12,685 Speaker 2: The I basically said all of the problems that people 124 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,885 Speaker 2: might have with their friends. You know, I wrote it 125 00:06:14,925 --> 00:06:17,085 Speaker 2: when I was in like a very heated moment. I 126 00:06:17,165 --> 00:06:18,805 Speaker 2: was so pissed off that I had to go to 127 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,485 Speaker 2: a bunch more weddings. So I basically said like, Hey, 128 00:06:21,845 --> 00:06:23,925 Speaker 2: if your friends can't do this, I will. I will 129 00:06:24,005 --> 00:06:26,285 Speaker 2: dance on the dance floor with your drunk uncle. I 130 00:06:26,325 --> 00:06:28,405 Speaker 2: will make sure you can pee in your wedding dress. 131 00:06:28,685 --> 00:06:30,765 Speaker 2: I'll make sure that I show up on time, and 132 00:06:30,805 --> 00:06:33,005 Speaker 2: there's no drama. Like all of the things that a 133 00:06:33,045 --> 00:06:36,525 Speaker 2: perfect best friend would do. I offered to do for people, 134 00:06:36,565 --> 00:06:39,045 Speaker 2: and I think it resonated because the truth is not 135 00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:42,205 Speaker 2: everyone has close friends, or they do have close friends, 136 00:06:42,205 --> 00:06:43,805 Speaker 2: but those friends are a mess. 137 00:06:44,205 --> 00:06:46,325 Speaker 1: I know that a lot of people ask you why 138 00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:48,085 Speaker 1: is there even a market for this? And I feel 139 00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:50,205 Speaker 1: like anyone who asked that question has either never been 140 00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:53,605 Speaker 1: a bridesmaid or never been a bride Because you said, 141 00:06:53,605 --> 00:06:56,245 Speaker 1: there's two common emails that you get from people who 142 00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:59,205 Speaker 1: want to hire you. What are the two different categories 143 00:06:59,205 --> 00:06:59,885 Speaker 1: they fall into. 144 00:07:00,365 --> 00:07:03,525 Speaker 2: Number one are people who are honest and they're like, Jen, 145 00:07:03,565 --> 00:07:05,045 Speaker 2: I'm at a point in my life where I just 146 00:07:05,045 --> 00:07:07,525 Speaker 2: don't have any friends. And I know that sounds super weird, 147 00:07:07,645 --> 00:07:10,205 Speaker 2: but the truth is, like we go through in life 148 00:07:10,245 --> 00:07:13,005 Speaker 2: and sometimes we are filled with friends and sometimes we're not. 149 00:07:13,565 --> 00:07:15,285 Speaker 2: You know, I know in parts of my life I 150 00:07:15,325 --> 00:07:17,165 Speaker 2: had best friends, and then other parts of my life 151 00:07:17,205 --> 00:07:19,725 Speaker 2: I felt really lonely. So there's people who are reaching 152 00:07:19,765 --> 00:07:22,685 Speaker 2: out who just don't have friends. And then the second 153 00:07:22,725 --> 00:07:25,445 Speaker 2: category of people are reaching out because they have friends, 154 00:07:25,485 --> 00:07:27,525 Speaker 2: but their friends are a mess, or they're busy, or 155 00:07:27,565 --> 00:07:30,045 Speaker 2: they just can't rely on them. And in those cases, 156 00:07:30,085 --> 00:07:33,525 Speaker 2: I'm one of multiple bridesmaids, so they already have bridesmaids 157 00:07:33,565 --> 00:07:35,565 Speaker 2: and I'm just an addition to the wedding party. So 158 00:07:35,965 --> 00:07:39,965 Speaker 2: you get both camps of people. And it's interesting because 159 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,725 Speaker 2: you know, some people are so lucky to have six 160 00:07:42,765 --> 00:07:45,365 Speaker 2: bridesmaids who have been best friends with them since middle school, 161 00:07:45,405 --> 00:07:48,685 Speaker 2: but not everybody is that lucky. Most people honestly aren't. 162 00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:51,125 Speaker 1: How is it different to being a wedding planet, jin 163 00:07:51,285 --> 00:07:52,965 Speaker 1: because a lot of people would say, oh, you're doing 164 00:07:52,965 --> 00:07:55,405 Speaker 1: the organization, but that's what a wedding planet does. Why 165 00:07:55,445 --> 00:07:56,325 Speaker 1: not just call you that? 166 00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:59,605 Speaker 2: So the truth is we do know wedding planning at all. 167 00:07:59,765 --> 00:08:02,965 Speaker 2: I don't even like weddings. I'm very honest about that, Like, 168 00:08:03,325 --> 00:08:05,645 Speaker 2: I don't enjoy weddings. I can't help you pick out 169 00:08:05,645 --> 00:08:08,725 Speaker 2: your flowers, Like, I don't really care what venue you choose. 170 00:08:09,085 --> 00:08:11,765 Speaker 2: I'm for the people problems, So I do everything a 171 00:08:11,805 --> 00:08:13,805 Speaker 2: best friend would. I will sit on the phone with 172 00:08:13,845 --> 00:08:16,165 Speaker 2: you for hours and listen to you vent about your wedding. 173 00:08:16,325 --> 00:08:18,725 Speaker 2: I'll help you pick out your dress, I will help 174 00:08:18,725 --> 00:08:21,085 Speaker 2: you with all of the people aspects. But a wedding planner, 175 00:08:21,165 --> 00:08:24,085 Speaker 2: they are so busy making sure that your wedding looks 176 00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:25,685 Speaker 2: and feels exactly how you want. 177 00:08:25,965 --> 00:08:29,205 Speaker 1: You say you don't like weddings. Are you possibly in 178 00:08:29,245 --> 00:08:30,125 Speaker 1: the wrong job? Jen? 179 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,485 Speaker 2: You know, the interesting thing about the wedding is that's 180 00:08:34,605 --> 00:08:37,045 Speaker 2: just one day of the experience. You know, when you're 181 00:08:37,045 --> 00:08:39,845 Speaker 2: a bridesmaid, that's just like one tiny fraction of the 182 00:08:39,845 --> 00:08:42,405 Speaker 2: whole thing. The rest of it is being there for 183 00:08:42,445 --> 00:08:45,445 Speaker 2: a person, supporting a person who's going through a potentially 184 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,005 Speaker 2: challenging time. So it's interesting because, yeah, my job is 185 00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:51,405 Speaker 2: in a wedding setting, but it's also not. It's also 186 00:08:51,485 --> 00:08:54,005 Speaker 2: just in a real life setting. And while I don't 187 00:08:54,045 --> 00:08:57,205 Speaker 2: like weddings, I really like people and I like helping people, 188 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,365 Speaker 2: and that's what the job really goes toward. 189 00:08:59,685 --> 00:09:01,925 Speaker 1: From what I understand, it's like being the eighth jab 190 00:09:02,445 --> 00:09:03,125 Speaker 1: of the wedding? 191 00:09:03,285 --> 00:09:06,045 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I mean you're exactly right. Anyone who's been 192 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,925 Speaker 2: a bridesmaid knows that there is drama. There's always going 193 00:09:09,005 --> 00:09:11,365 Speaker 2: to be drama. But whose job is it to get 194 00:09:11,365 --> 00:09:13,725 Speaker 2: to the drama? Who's going to manage it? The bride, 195 00:09:13,765 --> 00:09:16,285 Speaker 2: the person getting married. No, that person shouldn't have to 196 00:09:16,365 --> 00:09:19,445 Speaker 2: deal with everything falling apart. So yeah, it's exactly that. 197 00:09:19,845 --> 00:09:22,645 Speaker 1: What does the typical wedding experience look like for you? 198 00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:24,685 Speaker 1: From the time the bride asks you to be her 199 00:09:24,725 --> 00:09:27,005 Speaker 1: bridesmaid up until the day of the wedding. 200 00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:30,605 Speaker 2: Oftentimes I will do everything that the real bridesmaid will do. 201 00:09:30,685 --> 00:09:33,005 Speaker 2: So we'll have our initial phone calls where we'll get 202 00:09:33,045 --> 00:09:35,565 Speaker 2: to know each other. I'll go on the brill shower, 203 00:09:35,685 --> 00:09:38,845 Speaker 2: the bachelorette party, I'll help with the rehearsal dinner, I'll 204 00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:41,005 Speaker 2: show up for that. I'll walk down the aisle at 205 00:09:41,045 --> 00:09:43,765 Speaker 2: the wedding, I'll give this speech. So really, all of 206 00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:46,525 Speaker 2: those main points that a friend would do or a 207 00:09:46,525 --> 00:09:49,245 Speaker 2: bridesmaid would do, I do exactly that. There are some 208 00:09:49,245 --> 00:09:51,285 Speaker 2: people who call me last minute, They're like, hey, we're 209 00:09:51,285 --> 00:09:53,605 Speaker 2: getting married in two months, can you just step in 210 00:09:53,645 --> 00:09:55,805 Speaker 2: and help and yeah, for sure. But then there's people 211 00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:57,845 Speaker 2: who hire me a year and a half out, so 212 00:09:58,285 --> 00:10:00,805 Speaker 2: it really depends. But I'll show up and do anything 213 00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:03,845 Speaker 2: the person needs before and on the day of the wedding. 214 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,845 Speaker 1: I want to ask about the secrecy because you know, 215 00:10:06,925 --> 00:10:09,645 Speaker 1: it seems like they don't often say, Hey, this is 216 00:10:09,725 --> 00:10:13,085 Speaker 1: Jen I've hired her to be my bridesmaid. How does 217 00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:15,005 Speaker 1: all of that part work? Because there's a kind of 218 00:10:15,085 --> 00:10:17,645 Speaker 1: shame about having to hire a bridesmaid, isn't there. 219 00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:20,245 Speaker 2: You're exactly right. You know, some people reach out and 220 00:10:20,285 --> 00:10:22,085 Speaker 2: they say I want to hire you, but I want 221 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,245 Speaker 2: to make sure that nobody ever finds out, and I 222 00:10:24,285 --> 00:10:26,525 Speaker 2: respect that. You know, they want this as a service 223 00:10:26,565 --> 00:10:29,925 Speaker 2: that is completely undercover, and in most instances that's how 224 00:10:29,925 --> 00:10:32,565 Speaker 2: it works. I'll have a fake name, a fake backstory 225 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:35,245 Speaker 2: for how I know the person, and I will just 226 00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:37,685 Speaker 2: pretend to be part of their life from some area 227 00:10:37,725 --> 00:10:41,085 Speaker 2: of their life, whether it's yoga class or grade school 228 00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:44,445 Speaker 2: or study abroad. I will just blend into their life. 229 00:10:44,525 --> 00:10:46,805 Speaker 2: And sometimes they don't even tell the person that they're 230 00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:48,205 Speaker 2: marrying that they hired me. 231 00:10:48,365 --> 00:10:50,805 Speaker 1: What about the other bridesmaids? How come they don't know you? 232 00:10:50,805 --> 00:10:53,045 Speaker 2: Know, when you look at a bridal party, there's people 233 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:55,245 Speaker 2: in it from all aspects of your life, So not 234 00:10:55,325 --> 00:10:57,645 Speaker 2: always does everyone know each other. You know, when I 235 00:10:57,645 --> 00:10:59,525 Speaker 2: was a brideessad from my real friends, I'd be a 236 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:02,365 Speaker 2: bridesmaid beside people who they met in all different parts 237 00:11:02,365 --> 00:11:04,885 Speaker 2: of their life that I never knew before. So it's 238 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,165 Speaker 2: rare that a person's like, hey, who is this person? 239 00:11:07,205 --> 00:11:09,925 Speaker 2: I never met them. That doesn't really happen, and especially 240 00:11:09,925 --> 00:11:11,725 Speaker 2: in these situations. 241 00:11:11,365 --> 00:11:14,725 Speaker 1: So even the brides fiance who they're marrying their parents, 242 00:11:15,405 --> 00:11:19,005 Speaker 1: this whole backstory will be concocted. You identify a part 243 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,645 Speaker 1: that's not represented at the wedding, can you explain a 244 00:11:21,685 --> 00:11:22,405 Speaker 1: little bit about that. 245 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,445 Speaker 2: Yeah, So one of the first things we'll talk about 246 00:11:24,525 --> 00:11:26,525 Speaker 2: is Okay, who can I be in your life that 247 00:11:26,565 --> 00:11:29,405 Speaker 2: nobody else would know. So they might say, okay, based 248 00:11:29,405 --> 00:11:31,645 Speaker 2: on who I'm inviting to my wedding, nobody really knows 249 00:11:31,645 --> 00:11:33,645 Speaker 2: my high school friends. I don't have anybody from that 250 00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:36,005 Speaker 2: time in my life coming, so you can be a 251 00:11:36,045 --> 00:11:38,405 Speaker 2: part of that area of my life. Or they're going 252 00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:40,565 Speaker 2: to say, I have a lot of people coming from 253 00:11:40,565 --> 00:11:42,885 Speaker 2: my school, but I don't have anyone coming from where 254 00:11:42,925 --> 00:11:44,685 Speaker 2: I live now, maybe they live in a new city 255 00:11:44,725 --> 00:11:47,005 Speaker 2: or a new place, so I will pretend to be 256 00:11:47,045 --> 00:11:49,045 Speaker 2: from that part of their life. So we'll figure that 257 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:52,205 Speaker 2: out so that it's not detected and it's not so obvious. 258 00:11:52,485 --> 00:11:55,325 Speaker 1: That first wedding that you did is a professional bridesmaid? 259 00:11:55,645 --> 00:11:57,725 Speaker 1: What can you remember about that? Who is she? And 260 00:11:57,805 --> 00:11:58,725 Speaker 1: how did it play out? 261 00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,925 Speaker 2: Oh? Man, you know, I was so nervous because I 262 00:12:00,925 --> 00:12:03,125 Speaker 2: put this ad out. I got such a big response, 263 00:12:03,325 --> 00:12:07,125 Speaker 2: and I found somebody who lived in Minnesota and she 264 00:12:07,245 --> 00:12:09,325 Speaker 2: had just fired her maid of honor. Her wedding was 265 00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:11,765 Speaker 2: about two months away, and her maid of honor was 266 00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:14,605 Speaker 2: just being jealous and almost sabotaging the wedding, so she 267 00:12:14,685 --> 00:12:15,325 Speaker 2: fired her. 268 00:12:15,645 --> 00:12:21,085 Speaker 1: And how you say she fired her, because that's actually true. 269 00:12:21,125 --> 00:12:23,245 Speaker 1: I mean that's a whole other conversation, which we'll get 270 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,965 Speaker 1: to about how to hire and fire actual bridesmaids that 271 00:12:26,005 --> 00:12:29,205 Speaker 1: you're not paying. She saw your ad and she thought, 272 00:12:29,325 --> 00:12:31,165 Speaker 1: this is what I need. I'm two months out for 273 00:12:31,245 --> 00:12:32,525 Speaker 1: my wedding. So then what happened. 274 00:12:33,245 --> 00:12:35,805 Speaker 2: We got to know each other and I got on 275 00:12:35,845 --> 00:12:38,405 Speaker 2: an airplane the day before her wedding. I remember the 276 00:12:38,445 --> 00:12:41,525 Speaker 2: airplane landed. I was the last person off the plane, 277 00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:44,205 Speaker 2: I thought, what are you about to do? Like? What 278 00:12:44,445 --> 00:12:46,685 Speaker 2: is this? I don't know what I'm doing? Who am 279 00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,725 Speaker 2: I to do this? I get off the airplane, I 280 00:12:49,805 --> 00:12:53,045 Speaker 2: meet her, go to the rehearsal dinner. Everything went really well. 281 00:12:53,085 --> 00:12:54,765 Speaker 2: I was able to be there for her and help 282 00:12:54,805 --> 00:12:57,685 Speaker 2: her with a lot of family challenges and dynamics and 283 00:12:57,765 --> 00:13:01,005 Speaker 2: just secret she had nobody to talk to about. And 284 00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:03,725 Speaker 2: I remember getting back on the airplane thinking to myself, 285 00:13:03,925 --> 00:13:07,165 Speaker 2: there is a business here. People need this, and while 286 00:13:07,205 --> 00:13:09,645 Speaker 2: it's scary and weird and all of these things, I 287 00:13:09,685 --> 00:13:11,645 Speaker 2: am going to run with it because I believe in it. 288 00:13:11,685 --> 00:13:14,005 Speaker 2: I believe there's a need for it. But that wedding 289 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,565 Speaker 2: was terrifying, and so were the next couple of weddings 290 00:13:16,565 --> 00:13:18,925 Speaker 2: after that, because weddings are not all the same and 291 00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:21,565 Speaker 2: I really wasn't sure what I was doing. So I 292 00:13:21,645 --> 00:13:24,365 Speaker 2: was learning as I started the business, which was scary. 293 00:13:24,725 --> 00:13:26,725 Speaker 1: What was the story that you and that bride came 294 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,005 Speaker 1: up with as to who you were? 295 00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:31,285 Speaker 2: I was a friend from when she had vacationed over 296 00:13:31,285 --> 00:13:34,165 Speaker 2: the summer. She used to vacation in a southern state 297 00:13:34,245 --> 00:13:36,885 Speaker 2: and I pretended to meet her on vacation, so a 298 00:13:36,885 --> 00:13:39,485 Speaker 2: lot of people in her life, like didn't know that 299 00:13:39,525 --> 00:13:41,565 Speaker 2: she had a friend from that time in her life, 300 00:13:41,965 --> 00:13:45,525 Speaker 2: and it ended up just working out. She is now divorced, 301 00:13:45,605 --> 00:13:49,125 Speaker 2: which happens, and if Shavery gets married again, I hope 302 00:13:49,165 --> 00:13:51,925 Speaker 2: that I could be there for her again because I 303 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,245 Speaker 2: did build a friends with her. What did you wear 304 00:13:54,605 --> 00:13:57,125 Speaker 2: so luckily for this wedding? She just had me wear 305 00:13:57,165 --> 00:13:59,325 Speaker 2: a black dress, which is so common for a lot 306 00:13:59,325 --> 00:14:01,605 Speaker 2: of these weddings. But I do have a lot of friends. 307 00:14:01,645 --> 00:14:04,245 Speaker 2: My dresses, I've got like almost I don't know over 308 00:14:04,325 --> 00:14:06,365 Speaker 2: fifty of them that I've had over the years. 309 00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:09,085 Speaker 1: What do you do with those dresses? And who paceful 310 00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:09,405 Speaker 1: of them? 311 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,365 Speaker 2: Yeah? I live in a very tiny, tiny apartment in 312 00:14:12,365 --> 00:14:15,325 Speaker 2: New York City, so I have them in garbage bags 313 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,005 Speaker 2: or I have given them away, I've donated them, I've 314 00:14:18,045 --> 00:14:20,565 Speaker 2: lent them to friends. I wish I had a closet 315 00:14:20,565 --> 00:14:22,485 Speaker 2: to display them, but that's not realistic. 316 00:14:22,605 --> 00:14:26,765 Speaker 1: Here behind glass or something like somebody the cause. How 317 00:14:26,765 --> 00:14:29,525 Speaker 1: did you know what to charge, Jen, because it's a 318 00:14:29,605 --> 00:14:31,605 Speaker 1: job that no one had ever heard of before you 319 00:14:31,765 --> 00:14:34,605 Speaker 1: essentially made it up. How did you decide how much 320 00:14:34,645 --> 00:14:35,525 Speaker 1: money to charge? 321 00:14:35,645 --> 00:14:39,165 Speaker 2: I remember back then I did my first live television interview. 322 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:41,925 Speaker 2: I believe it was for an Australian TV station. Actually, 323 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,205 Speaker 2: this is like right after I posted the ad and 324 00:14:44,245 --> 00:14:45,725 Speaker 2: they said to me, They're like, how much is this? 325 00:14:45,845 --> 00:14:49,085 Speaker 2: And I said, oh, it's free. I honestly in my head, 326 00:14:49,165 --> 00:14:50,885 Speaker 2: was like, this should be a free service. 327 00:14:51,045 --> 00:14:51,365 Speaker 1: I didn't. 328 00:14:52,245 --> 00:14:54,685 Speaker 2: Yes, if you look back at that interview, I said 329 00:14:54,725 --> 00:14:57,525 Speaker 2: that because I didn't know. I didn't have business experience, 330 00:14:57,565 --> 00:15:00,165 Speaker 2: and I wanted to do this to help people. So 331 00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:03,525 Speaker 2: after that I realized, okay, it's not free. And basically 332 00:15:03,525 --> 00:15:05,525 Speaker 2: I just figured out pricing over the years based on 333 00:15:05,565 --> 00:15:08,205 Speaker 2: how much value I felt like I was giving, and 334 00:15:08,605 --> 00:15:11,205 Speaker 2: my pricing was changed over the years. I figured it 335 00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:13,405 Speaker 2: out based on, Okay, how many hours am I putting 336 00:15:13,405 --> 00:15:15,525 Speaker 2: into this, how much value am I putting into this? 337 00:15:15,965 --> 00:15:18,085 Speaker 2: And I sort of comparing it to other vendors in 338 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,725 Speaker 2: the wedding space as well. So if you are starting 339 00:15:20,765 --> 00:15:22,725 Speaker 2: a business, pricing is one of the hardest things to 340 00:15:22,725 --> 00:15:25,365 Speaker 2: figure out, but it's okay because you can change your 341 00:15:25,365 --> 00:15:28,285 Speaker 2: pricing over the years or even every day if you want. 342 00:15:28,565 --> 00:15:29,845 Speaker 2: And that's sort of what I did. 343 00:15:30,085 --> 00:15:31,845 Speaker 1: Do you remember how much you charged for that first 344 00:15:31,885 --> 00:15:34,005 Speaker 1: wedding and what she actually got for the money. 345 00:15:34,285 --> 00:15:36,765 Speaker 2: I definitely feel like it was under one thousand dollars, 346 00:15:37,085 --> 00:15:39,925 Speaker 2: and for that wedding, I did multiple phone calls with 347 00:15:39,965 --> 00:15:42,845 Speaker 2: her before the wedding. I was there for the rehearsal dinner. 348 00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:45,005 Speaker 2: I was there for the whole wedding, meaning like the 349 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:48,285 Speaker 2: morning of until midnight, probably a little bit on that 350 00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:52,285 Speaker 2: Sunday as well. So I probably gave her maybe like 351 00:15:52,445 --> 00:15:55,885 Speaker 2: thirty plus hours of work and charged under one thousand 352 00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:57,525 Speaker 2: dollars for that wedding. 353 00:15:58,085 --> 00:16:00,045 Speaker 1: What do you charge now? I know now you've got 354 00:16:00,045 --> 00:16:03,445 Speaker 1: a whole business and you have packages. What are some 355 00:16:03,485 --> 00:16:06,005 Speaker 1: of the different packages and how much do they cost? 356 00:16:06,285 --> 00:16:08,925 Speaker 2: So for a bride specifically or people getting married, I 357 00:16:09,005 --> 00:16:12,005 Speaker 2: have the higher bridesmaid package which will start around twenty 358 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:15,085 Speaker 2: five hundred US dollars. I also have it behind the 359 00:16:15,085 --> 00:16:17,925 Speaker 2: scenes day of Coordination package for a person who doesn't 360 00:16:17,925 --> 00:16:20,125 Speaker 2: want a bridesmaid, they just want that help, and that 361 00:16:20,165 --> 00:16:23,445 Speaker 2: starts around two thousand dollars. We also have different made 362 00:16:23,445 --> 00:16:27,845 Speaker 2: of honors, speech writing, vale writing, best man writing tools 363 00:16:28,005 --> 00:16:30,605 Speaker 2: and those start at around thirty five dollars where we'll 364 00:16:30,605 --> 00:16:33,525 Speaker 2: write your speech for you. So there's a range of 365 00:16:33,565 --> 00:16:36,485 Speaker 2: different services that we offer at different price points, and 366 00:16:36,485 --> 00:16:39,365 Speaker 2: that's something that I've tried to grow and do is 367 00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:42,325 Speaker 2: have different price points that can meet different budgets, so 368 00:16:42,365 --> 00:16:46,045 Speaker 2: people who want in person help versus virtual help, having 369 00:16:46,085 --> 00:16:48,725 Speaker 2: different price points to be more inclusive of people. Because 370 00:16:48,725 --> 00:16:52,805 Speaker 2: weddings are stupidly expensive, and while this is a business, 371 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,125 Speaker 2: I don't want to harp on the fact that people 372 00:16:55,205 --> 00:16:57,925 Speaker 2: can pay so much money during the wedding process. 373 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:02,205 Speaker 1: More of my conversation with professional bridesmaid Jen Glance, who 374 00:17:02,245 --> 00:17:05,645 Speaker 1: it turns out, considers herself an introvit after the show break. 375 00:17:09,925 --> 00:17:12,405 Speaker 1: Are you a very social person? Jen? You seem like 376 00:17:12,725 --> 00:17:17,165 Speaker 1: very extroverted and confident and friendly, because one of the 377 00:17:17,205 --> 00:17:20,165 Speaker 1: hardest parts of weddings, even if you know people right 378 00:17:20,325 --> 00:17:24,765 Speaker 1: I'm you're legitimate, is the small talk and the intensity 379 00:17:24,765 --> 00:17:26,725 Speaker 1: of it all, and it can go on for hours 380 00:17:26,765 --> 00:17:30,285 Speaker 1: and hours. How do you manage that part of it, 381 00:17:30,565 --> 00:17:31,605 Speaker 1: the social part. 382 00:17:32,205 --> 00:17:34,965 Speaker 2: It's funny that you ask that, because in my real life, 383 00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:39,525 Speaker 2: I'm very shy, I'm introverted. I think I'm very socially awkward. 384 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,685 Speaker 2: I'm like always so nervous in my real life, but 385 00:17:42,765 --> 00:17:45,165 Speaker 2: when I'm on the job, I am a different person. 386 00:17:45,285 --> 00:17:47,805 Speaker 2: I am shaking hands, I am hugging people, I am 387 00:17:47,885 --> 00:17:50,405 Speaker 2: life with the party, I am big personality. And I 388 00:17:50,485 --> 00:17:54,925 Speaker 2: think it's because like not necessarily acting, but you're putting 389 00:17:54,965 --> 00:17:58,405 Speaker 2: on like this new persona. I'm not Jen Glands. I'm 390 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,045 Speaker 2: whoever this person wants me to be, and it's a 391 00:18:01,045 --> 00:18:04,205 Speaker 2: different person because it's so funny, like in my real life, 392 00:18:04,205 --> 00:18:06,005 Speaker 2: my friends who know me are like, this is just 393 00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:08,525 Speaker 2: like not really who you are, and it's true. So 394 00:18:08,725 --> 00:18:10,965 Speaker 2: I feel like I've lived a double life and I 395 00:18:11,005 --> 00:18:18,125 Speaker 2: am multiple people because I'm not necessarily naturally confident or extroverted. 396 00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:22,005 Speaker 1: After that first wedding, did things just keep flooding in 397 00:18:22,005 --> 00:18:25,165 Speaker 1: in terms of was it a slow build? Were you inundated? 398 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,085 Speaker 1: I know there was one weekend where you were hired 399 00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:29,565 Speaker 1: for back to back weddings in one weekend in two 400 00:18:29,565 --> 00:18:33,005 Speaker 1: different states. How did you manage the influx? And tell 401 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:33,965 Speaker 1: me about that weekend? 402 00:18:34,565 --> 00:18:37,285 Speaker 2: Yeah, so, you know, after that first wedding, I built 403 00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:39,445 Speaker 2: a website and I just put myself out there on 404 00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:42,125 Speaker 2: the internet a lot. I got so many requests because 405 00:18:42,165 --> 00:18:44,845 Speaker 2: there was nobody else doing this, so I was getting 406 00:18:44,845 --> 00:18:47,805 Speaker 2: a lot of requests and for many years, I worked 407 00:18:47,885 --> 00:18:50,445 Speaker 2: multiple weddings a weekend. So there were some weekends where 408 00:18:50,445 --> 00:18:52,685 Speaker 2: I had two or three weddings, they were in different states. 409 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,845 Speaker 2: I barely would make it to the next wedding. I 410 00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:57,525 Speaker 2: mean there was one weekend where I had to travel 411 00:18:57,605 --> 00:19:00,765 Speaker 2: to a different state via train to get to the 412 00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:03,005 Speaker 2: second wedding. And I'm on the train and the train 413 00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:05,805 Speaker 2: stops and the train catches on fire, and it's okay, 414 00:19:05,925 --> 00:19:08,845 Speaker 2: Like the fire's okay, but they're not moving the train along, 415 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,325 Speaker 2: and I'm just looking at my watch and I'm like, Okay, 416 00:19:11,365 --> 00:19:13,605 Speaker 2: if I got into a car or a taxi, I 417 00:19:13,645 --> 00:19:16,205 Speaker 2: still wouldn't make it there on time. I ended up 418 00:19:16,245 --> 00:19:18,405 Speaker 2: making it to the wedding. I got there like maybe 419 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:21,045 Speaker 2: five minutes before walking down the aisle, and it was 420 00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:24,005 Speaker 2: just so stressful and I had so many close call 421 00:19:24,125 --> 00:19:27,645 Speaker 2: moments like that. Travel is like so unpredictable. And that's 422 00:19:27,645 --> 00:19:29,485 Speaker 2: when I realized, like, I can't do these back to 423 00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:31,325 Speaker 2: back ones because you might let somebody down. 424 00:19:31,685 --> 00:19:34,205 Speaker 1: Tell me about your rules, the rules that you have 425 00:19:34,245 --> 00:19:37,125 Speaker 1: at weddings for what you do and how you behave. 426 00:19:37,205 --> 00:19:40,445 Speaker 2: So I never drink. I'm not a big drinker anyway, 427 00:19:40,485 --> 00:19:42,765 Speaker 2: in my real life, but I never would drink on 428 00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:45,005 Speaker 2: the job, just because to me, it's my real job, 429 00:19:45,005 --> 00:19:47,485 Speaker 2: my full time job, and I just feel like it's 430 00:19:47,525 --> 00:19:50,285 Speaker 2: not appropriate to drink when someone's hiring you to do 431 00:19:50,325 --> 00:19:53,565 Speaker 2: a job like that, So I don't drink. I'm married now, 432 00:19:53,645 --> 00:19:55,925 Speaker 2: but back in the day, I was single at these weddings, 433 00:19:56,005 --> 00:19:58,285 Speaker 2: and I also had a rule of maybe not really 434 00:19:58,325 --> 00:20:02,245 Speaker 2: flirting too much with potential suitors, just because that's not 435 00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:05,085 Speaker 2: what I was really there for. So I have rules 436 00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:07,645 Speaker 2: like that, And over the years, in terms of working 437 00:20:07,645 --> 00:20:10,085 Speaker 2: with clients, I've had to have more bounce boundaries because 438 00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:11,725 Speaker 2: I would have people call me and text me at 439 00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:15,205 Speaker 2: three am and expect responses. So as a business owner, 440 00:20:15,245 --> 00:20:17,445 Speaker 2: I've also had to figure out rules around that too. 441 00:20:17,845 --> 00:20:19,845 Speaker 1: How do you do that? Because brides are not known 442 00:20:19,965 --> 00:20:23,645 Speaker 1: for their calm head and ability to maintain boundaries. 443 00:20:24,285 --> 00:20:26,605 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I have been fired before because I've had 444 00:20:26,645 --> 00:20:29,325 Speaker 2: clients who are like, why didn't you respond at two 445 00:20:29,325 --> 00:20:31,725 Speaker 2: thirty three am? And I'm like, wait a second, Like 446 00:20:32,085 --> 00:20:34,125 Speaker 2: I'm not getting paid enough for that, you know. So 447 00:20:34,765 --> 00:20:37,165 Speaker 2: I've had to learn that when you're working with somebody, 448 00:20:37,245 --> 00:20:41,085 Speaker 2: especially in a job where it blurs the lines between 449 00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:44,925 Speaker 2: job and friendship. You have to be very clear upfront. 450 00:20:45,365 --> 00:20:47,645 Speaker 2: So I will lay everything out up front and say, 451 00:20:47,685 --> 00:20:51,445 Speaker 2: here is exactly what this relationship is, and here's the boundaries, 452 00:20:51,565 --> 00:20:54,125 Speaker 2: and I'll refer back to that if boundaries start to 453 00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:57,765 Speaker 2: get crossed. But when it's not laid out upfront, that's 454 00:20:57,765 --> 00:21:01,045 Speaker 2: when things get really messy and people get upset because 455 00:21:01,045 --> 00:21:04,165 Speaker 2: they're expecting things that you didn't realize they were expecting. 456 00:21:04,485 --> 00:21:07,565 Speaker 1: You mentioned after hours. Can you give me some other examples, 457 00:21:07,565 --> 00:21:09,565 Speaker 1: because again you've had to make this up as you 458 00:21:09,605 --> 00:21:11,965 Speaker 1: go along, right, So what are some of the boundaries 459 00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:15,565 Speaker 1: that you realized were being crossed earlier on when you 460 00:21:15,605 --> 00:21:16,685 Speaker 1: started the business. 461 00:21:17,045 --> 00:21:20,845 Speaker 2: I had somebody fire me because she mistook the role 462 00:21:21,085 --> 00:21:24,245 Speaker 2: as also being her personal assistant. So I mean she 463 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:26,485 Speaker 2: was asking me to do things that were like completely 464 00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:28,725 Speaker 2: not part of the job. Whether it was like can 465 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,245 Speaker 2: I make her a dentists appointment? And can I like 466 00:21:31,765 --> 00:21:34,525 Speaker 2: reconcile her bank accounts and like do all the things 467 00:21:34,565 --> 00:21:36,765 Speaker 2: like a personal assistant would do. And I had to 468 00:21:36,805 --> 00:21:40,005 Speaker 2: be like no. And I remember that was like for 469 00:21:40,085 --> 00:21:42,005 Speaker 2: one of the first people who had fired me, and 470 00:21:42,045 --> 00:21:43,645 Speaker 2: I was so upset about it. But I was like 471 00:21:43,685 --> 00:21:45,605 Speaker 2: you know what, like, if I were to just do 472 00:21:45,645 --> 00:21:48,325 Speaker 2: all these things for all these people, I'd be burnt out, 473 00:21:48,485 --> 00:21:51,205 Speaker 2: I wouldn't be making any money, and it just wouldn't 474 00:21:51,205 --> 00:21:54,645 Speaker 2: be fun anymore. So there was instances like that where 475 00:21:54,685 --> 00:21:57,005 Speaker 2: people hired me, but then also thought I was like 476 00:21:57,085 --> 00:21:59,365 Speaker 2: all these different things in their life that I just wasn't. 477 00:21:59,765 --> 00:22:02,965 Speaker 1: You're married now and I know you've got a child. Congratulations, 478 00:22:03,205 --> 00:22:07,165 Speaker 1: thank you. Weddings are notorious for hook ups, right, particularly 479 00:22:07,205 --> 00:22:10,805 Speaker 1: in the bridal body. How have you managed that? Have 480 00:22:10,885 --> 00:22:13,765 Speaker 1: you been in some tricky situations or have you ever 481 00:22:13,805 --> 00:22:16,165 Speaker 1: met anyone at a wedding that you were working at? 482 00:22:16,605 --> 00:22:19,805 Speaker 2: You know, I kept a big wall up at these weddings, 483 00:22:19,925 --> 00:22:22,325 Speaker 2: especially when I was single. So I always had this 484 00:22:22,445 --> 00:22:25,485 Speaker 2: wall up, I'm here to work. I'll be nice, but 485 00:22:25,525 --> 00:22:29,245 Speaker 2: I'll stop anything before it got to that flirty line. 486 00:22:29,645 --> 00:22:32,205 Speaker 2: So I made sure that didn't happen. But of course 487 00:22:32,325 --> 00:22:34,445 Speaker 2: it was happening around me, and I saw many people 488 00:22:34,525 --> 00:22:37,325 Speaker 2: meet people at weddings and things like that, but I 489 00:22:37,445 --> 00:22:39,965 Speaker 2: just really tried to make it very clear that I'm 490 00:22:40,005 --> 00:22:41,245 Speaker 2: here for work and that's it. 491 00:22:41,645 --> 00:22:43,485 Speaker 1: Have there been any times when you've had to turn 492 00:22:43,525 --> 00:22:45,525 Speaker 1: a job down before it even started. 493 00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:48,365 Speaker 2: I've had to turn down a lot of work, especially 494 00:22:48,405 --> 00:22:50,565 Speaker 2: when people reach out for the wrong reason. So I've 495 00:22:50,565 --> 00:22:52,245 Speaker 2: had people reach out and say, Hey, I want to 496 00:22:52,325 --> 00:22:55,445 Speaker 2: hire a bridesmad who looks a certain way and who 497 00:22:55,445 --> 00:22:58,565 Speaker 2: has a certain personality. So if people come to me 498 00:22:58,645 --> 00:23:01,245 Speaker 2: and ask for things like that, I'll turn them down. 499 00:23:01,645 --> 00:23:04,085 Speaker 1: Wait, tell me about the looking a certain way. 500 00:23:04,525 --> 00:23:06,085 Speaker 2: Yeah. I will have people who will be like, we 501 00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:10,405 Speaker 2: want somebody who's five seven and who has brown and 502 00:23:10,445 --> 00:23:13,005 Speaker 2: things like that, And in those instances I have to 503 00:23:13,005 --> 00:23:15,845 Speaker 2: just say, like, this is not a modeling place. We 504 00:23:15,885 --> 00:23:18,245 Speaker 2: don't do that. So people who reach out and they 505 00:23:18,285 --> 00:23:21,645 Speaker 2: want a stand in bridesmaid, they want somebody who just 506 00:23:21,685 --> 00:23:24,165 Speaker 2: can be like, there's six bridesmaid. We don't do that. 507 00:23:24,405 --> 00:23:27,525 Speaker 2: So that kind of work just never felt right and 508 00:23:27,565 --> 00:23:29,765 Speaker 2: never felt like it was part of the purpose. So 509 00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:31,565 Speaker 2: I've always turned out work like that. 510 00:23:32,045 --> 00:23:34,725 Speaker 1: What have you learned about relationships and about the marriages 511 00:23:34,765 --> 00:23:36,445 Speaker 1: that are going to make it and the marriages that 512 00:23:36,565 --> 00:23:37,925 Speaker 1: don't by doing your job? 513 00:23:38,325 --> 00:23:40,405 Speaker 2: I feel like I've learned too much that it has 514 00:23:40,445 --> 00:23:44,845 Speaker 2: affected my view of everything. I think I learned that 515 00:23:45,485 --> 00:23:48,285 Speaker 2: you can never be so sure that you are marrying 516 00:23:48,325 --> 00:23:52,205 Speaker 2: the right person, because people change, Things happen, and even 517 00:23:52,245 --> 00:23:54,285 Speaker 2: if you look at what you think is a perfect couple, 518 00:23:54,645 --> 00:23:56,765 Speaker 2: they might not make it to the first year of marriage. 519 00:23:56,805 --> 00:24:00,045 Speaker 2: Because marriage is so complicated, it's so dense. It has 520 00:24:00,085 --> 00:24:02,285 Speaker 2: nothing to do with the wedding. They're two separate things. 521 00:24:02,645 --> 00:24:05,285 Speaker 2: People spend so much time worrying about the wedding and 522 00:24:05,365 --> 00:24:08,845 Speaker 2: no time focusing on the marriage part. So you really 523 00:24:08,885 --> 00:24:11,165 Speaker 2: never know, oh, what is going to make a relationship 524 00:24:11,285 --> 00:24:14,045 Speaker 2: work or not. You're hoping for the best. I don't 525 00:24:14,165 --> 00:24:16,965 Speaker 2: like this idea of like marriages forever because it just 526 00:24:17,085 --> 00:24:20,525 Speaker 2: might not be. And that's also okay. So I think 527 00:24:20,605 --> 00:24:23,445 Speaker 2: it's not tarnished my view of love. I think it's 528 00:24:23,485 --> 00:24:26,765 Speaker 2: just made it more realistic. And I'm honest about that. 529 00:24:27,245 --> 00:24:29,045 Speaker 1: What are some of the things that you've say You've 530 00:24:29,045 --> 00:24:32,725 Speaker 1: written just recently an Instagram post called I Don't Love 531 00:24:32,765 --> 00:24:35,765 Speaker 1: You Anymore? Part one about a job that you did 532 00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:39,005 Speaker 1: a few years ago when you were hired by a 533 00:24:39,045 --> 00:24:42,605 Speaker 1: bride and her partner called Seth, Can you tell me 534 00:24:42,685 --> 00:24:43,325 Speaker 1: what happened? 535 00:24:43,765 --> 00:24:47,325 Speaker 2: So, in this instance, the bride hired me and her 536 00:24:47,445 --> 00:24:50,405 Speaker 2: goal was to hire me, but also to pretty much 537 00:24:50,445 --> 00:24:52,365 Speaker 2: confess to me that she didn't think she was in 538 00:24:52,405 --> 00:24:55,725 Speaker 2: love with this person anymore, and she didn't know what 539 00:24:55,765 --> 00:24:57,845 Speaker 2: to do about it. Her wedding was coming up. She 540 00:24:57,885 --> 00:24:59,925 Speaker 2: had nobody to talk to about that, because how do 541 00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:01,805 Speaker 2: you tell a best friend that you're not in love 542 00:25:01,845 --> 00:25:03,685 Speaker 2: anymore with the person you're about to marry. I mean, 543 00:25:03,685 --> 00:25:06,925 Speaker 2: it's a hard thing to confess. So she tells me this, 544 00:25:07,165 --> 00:25:09,165 Speaker 2: and you know, my job as the hired bridesmaid is 545 00:25:09,565 --> 00:25:11,765 Speaker 2: to judge you. I do not care what you end 546 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:14,125 Speaker 2: up doing. It's just to listen to you and help 547 00:25:14,165 --> 00:25:18,005 Speaker 2: you process this. And throughout time, she processed it in 548 00:25:18,045 --> 00:25:20,645 Speaker 2: the sense of realizing that she was not in love 549 00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:24,085 Speaker 2: with this person anymore, and she wasn't sure what to do, 550 00:25:24,125 --> 00:25:26,685 Speaker 2: And ultimately she did tell him. He kind of knew 551 00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:29,725 Speaker 2: that she was feeling this way, and that's happened a lot. 552 00:25:29,805 --> 00:25:32,165 Speaker 2: You know, I've worked many weddings where we get down 553 00:25:32,285 --> 00:25:34,685 Speaker 2: to like a couple minutes before the ceremony and people 554 00:25:34,725 --> 00:25:37,445 Speaker 2: are questioning whether or not they should get married. I've 555 00:25:37,445 --> 00:25:39,645 Speaker 2: had people who have hired me strictly to help them 556 00:25:39,645 --> 00:25:42,245 Speaker 2: figure out how to call off their engagement. I mean, 557 00:25:42,285 --> 00:25:44,965 Speaker 2: these are real things that happen in people's lives, but 558 00:25:45,005 --> 00:25:47,365 Speaker 2: we don't have anyone to talk to about it, and 559 00:25:47,405 --> 00:25:49,525 Speaker 2: a lot of people just don't say anything, get married 560 00:25:49,565 --> 00:25:52,965 Speaker 2: and then get divorced after a year, So it's common. 561 00:25:53,005 --> 00:25:55,805 Speaker 2: You know, I'll never forget. Somebody told me once that 562 00:25:56,085 --> 00:25:58,845 Speaker 2: she was walking down the aisle and as she's walking 563 00:25:58,925 --> 00:26:01,405 Speaker 2: down the aisle, all she can think about is this 564 00:26:01,445 --> 00:26:03,525 Speaker 2: is going to suck to have to do again. Like 565 00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:07,125 Speaker 2: she just knew this was wrong. She knew it was wrong. 566 00:26:07,565 --> 00:26:09,045 Speaker 2: And I think that happens quite a bit. 567 00:26:09,405 --> 00:26:11,925 Speaker 1: That's so interesting. Have you ever been involved in a 568 00:26:11,925 --> 00:26:14,165 Speaker 1: wedding where it was called off on the day or 569 00:26:14,165 --> 00:26:15,445 Speaker 1: does that just happen in movies. 570 00:26:15,805 --> 00:26:18,085 Speaker 2: I've never had it called off on the day, but 571 00:26:18,165 --> 00:26:20,685 Speaker 2: I have had somebody threatened to call it off on 572 00:26:20,805 --> 00:26:24,205 Speaker 2: the day. Ultimately, you know, once everyone's seated and there, 573 00:26:24,285 --> 00:26:27,165 Speaker 2: they go through with it. But yeah, you know, that's 574 00:26:27,205 --> 00:26:29,805 Speaker 2: a tough one because it's harder to do it in 575 00:26:29,845 --> 00:26:32,445 Speaker 2: that moment. You might feel that, but usually people will 576 00:26:32,485 --> 00:26:35,285 Speaker 2: just not sign the wedding license and just go with 577 00:26:35,365 --> 00:26:36,965 Speaker 2: the party and fake the party. 578 00:26:37,205 --> 00:26:40,405 Speaker 1: Oh that's so interesting, and then quietly go those separate ways. 579 00:26:40,965 --> 00:26:43,725 Speaker 2: Yeah, because like I think, people forget to be married. 580 00:26:43,845 --> 00:26:45,325 Speaker 2: All you have to do. You don't need a wedding, 581 00:26:45,365 --> 00:26:46,805 Speaker 2: you don't need anything. You need to just sign a 582 00:26:46,885 --> 00:26:50,605 Speaker 2: legal document, right, And usually there's a witness who watches 583 00:26:50,645 --> 00:26:53,005 Speaker 2: you do that, but your entire wedding doesn't see you 584 00:26:53,085 --> 00:26:55,805 Speaker 2: do that. So a lot of people actually don't sign 585 00:26:55,845 --> 00:26:59,205 Speaker 2: the wedding license. And honestly, like there's some people who 586 00:26:59,325 --> 00:27:02,085 Speaker 2: even have weddings and never sign the license, like they're 587 00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:04,765 Speaker 2: actually not married. They just pretend they are. And that's 588 00:27:04,765 --> 00:27:07,125 Speaker 2: for so many different reasons, whether it's just like how 589 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:09,165 Speaker 2: they want to divide up their assets or whatever it 590 00:27:09,205 --> 00:27:12,405 Speaker 2: is is. But we don't ever watch people sign the 591 00:27:12,445 --> 00:27:14,445 Speaker 2: wedding license. We don't see that. 592 00:27:14,445 --> 00:27:17,565 Speaker 1: That's so interesting. Do you often have to have interventions 593 00:27:17,565 --> 00:27:21,005 Speaker 1: with brides. Other brides might confess to you, Hey, you've 594 00:27:21,005 --> 00:27:21,805 Speaker 1: got to talk to her. 595 00:27:22,325 --> 00:27:25,005 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know. I think people will see me 596 00:27:25,205 --> 00:27:28,165 Speaker 2: as the professional bridesmaid, whether or not. They know I'm hired, 597 00:27:28,245 --> 00:27:31,085 Speaker 2: they know that I'm reliable, I'm always stepping up. I'm 598 00:27:31,125 --> 00:27:33,925 Speaker 2: not causing drama. So if you're somebody who's not causing them, 599 00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:37,685 Speaker 2: people will bring drama to you. So I have everybody 600 00:27:37,725 --> 00:27:40,125 Speaker 2: from the other bridesmaids to the mother of the bride 601 00:27:40,165 --> 00:27:42,485 Speaker 2: or the groom, or even the person they're marrying coming 602 00:27:42,525 --> 00:27:45,885 Speaker 2: to me telling me things, asking for help, or asking 603 00:27:45,885 --> 00:27:48,805 Speaker 2: for intervention. I'll have to decide whether or not this 604 00:27:48,925 --> 00:27:52,685 Speaker 2: is worthy of bringing to the bride or just squashing, 605 00:27:52,805 --> 00:27:55,805 Speaker 2: because yeah, it's very delicate. You know, you don't want 606 00:27:55,805 --> 00:27:58,565 Speaker 2: to overwhelm that person being married with drama in the moment. 607 00:27:59,205 --> 00:28:02,165 Speaker 1: Things with family the most common dramas that you say, 608 00:28:02,325 --> 00:28:03,525 Speaker 1: or is it friends. 609 00:28:03,805 --> 00:28:06,245 Speaker 2: I think it's a combination of both or either. You know, 610 00:28:06,645 --> 00:28:09,205 Speaker 2: parents are rough, They think that this is for them, 611 00:28:09,525 --> 00:28:13,205 Speaker 2: They think that this is all about them. Oftentimes parents 612 00:28:13,205 --> 00:28:15,845 Speaker 2: will do things behind the couple's back, whether it's invite 613 00:28:15,845 --> 00:28:18,085 Speaker 2: people they don't tell the couple they invited them and 614 00:28:18,085 --> 00:28:20,525 Speaker 2: then a group of people show up, or they'll just 615 00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:24,645 Speaker 2: sabotage the wedding without realizing it. In terms of friends, 616 00:28:24,685 --> 00:28:28,125 Speaker 2: like your friends are people, they're humans, and sometimes you 617 00:28:28,165 --> 00:28:30,285 Speaker 2: can't control them in the way that you want. So 618 00:28:30,325 --> 00:28:32,245 Speaker 2: they get a little too drunk, or they say the 619 00:28:32,285 --> 00:28:35,485 Speaker 2: wrong thing, or they argue with somebody, or they don't 620 00:28:35,525 --> 00:28:38,645 Speaker 2: buy the dress on time. So you're dealing with just 621 00:28:38,765 --> 00:28:42,245 Speaker 2: so many variables in the wedding world. And there's just 622 00:28:42,365 --> 00:28:44,925 Speaker 2: bound to be drama. I have rarely been to a 623 00:28:44,965 --> 00:28:47,285 Speaker 2: wedding when there wasn't any drama. 624 00:28:47,365 --> 00:28:49,365 Speaker 1: Can you think of some that have stood out particularly 625 00:28:49,365 --> 00:28:50,005 Speaker 1: for you? 626 00:28:49,525 --> 00:28:51,525 Speaker 2: You know, I think some of the ones that were 627 00:28:51,805 --> 00:28:54,805 Speaker 2: more drama free. One of my favorite ones early on 628 00:28:54,885 --> 00:28:57,685 Speaker 2: in my experience a couple from Australia. They were getting 629 00:28:57,685 --> 00:29:00,965 Speaker 2: married in New York City in Times Square and they 630 00:29:01,085 --> 00:29:03,965 Speaker 2: hired me as their only bridesmaid. It was such a 631 00:29:03,965 --> 00:29:07,045 Speaker 2: beautiful experience because these were two people who had never 632 00:29:07,045 --> 00:29:08,765 Speaker 2: been to New York City before. They wanted to get 633 00:29:08,765 --> 00:29:11,525 Speaker 2: married in Time Square, and they didn't really know what 634 00:29:11,565 --> 00:29:13,245 Speaker 2: to do or how to make it special. And it 635 00:29:13,325 --> 00:29:15,485 Speaker 2: was one of the best experiences of my life just 636 00:29:15,525 --> 00:29:18,245 Speaker 2: because I was new at this. It was so beautiful. 637 00:29:18,285 --> 00:29:20,045 Speaker 2: We had such a good time. We've kept in touch 638 00:29:20,085 --> 00:29:23,285 Speaker 2: over the years, and it just reminded me of like 639 00:29:23,365 --> 00:29:26,245 Speaker 2: how perfect weddings can be if they are small and 640 00:29:26,285 --> 00:29:30,045 Speaker 2: intimate and without all of the you know, drama around it. 641 00:29:30,165 --> 00:29:33,245 Speaker 2: So moments like that are super special because they're doing 642 00:29:33,245 --> 00:29:35,405 Speaker 2: it for a certain reason and it's not for a show. 643 00:29:35,725 --> 00:29:37,205 Speaker 1: Jen, you know, I'm going to ask you about some 644 00:29:37,285 --> 00:29:38,805 Speaker 1: of the worst I have to know. 645 00:29:39,405 --> 00:29:41,645 Speaker 2: There's a lot, you know, I think some of the 646 00:29:41,805 --> 00:29:44,045 Speaker 2: tough ones are you know, I've had like mothers of 647 00:29:44,125 --> 00:29:47,085 Speaker 2: the bride screaming at me or blaming me for things 648 00:29:47,125 --> 00:29:50,165 Speaker 2: that have gone wrong. The cold feet is always really 649 00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:53,365 Speaker 2: hard because the person wants to back out. I remember, 650 00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:55,205 Speaker 2: you know, I did a New Year's Eve wedding years ago, 651 00:29:55,365 --> 00:29:57,485 Speaker 2: and right before the bride walked down the aisle, she 652 00:29:57,765 --> 00:30:00,805 Speaker 2: just started like hysterically crying because she didn't want to 653 00:30:00,845 --> 00:30:03,045 Speaker 2: do it, she didn't want to get married. And her 654 00:30:03,085 --> 00:30:05,845 Speaker 2: mom had her hand on the bride's back, like pushing 655 00:30:05,845 --> 00:30:08,725 Speaker 2: her down the aisle. And that's like sort of tough 656 00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:11,965 Speaker 2: to see because if it was a movie, somebody would 657 00:30:12,045 --> 00:30:14,525 Speaker 2: stop it. But it's not. It's a real life. In 658 00:30:14,565 --> 00:30:16,725 Speaker 2: real life, we don't always know what to do in 659 00:30:16,765 --> 00:30:17,685 Speaker 2: those situations. 660 00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:20,325 Speaker 1: My favorite weddings are the ones where something goes a 661 00:30:20,325 --> 00:30:23,805 Speaker 1: bit wrong, because weddings where everything is perfect are quite boring. 662 00:30:23,885 --> 00:30:27,085 Speaker 1: But everyone remembers the weddings when something goes a bit wrong, right, 663 00:30:27,765 --> 00:30:29,965 Speaker 1: What are some of those that you've been through? 664 00:30:30,685 --> 00:30:32,965 Speaker 2: Oh god, it's so true. I worked a wedding and 665 00:30:33,085 --> 00:30:36,125 Speaker 2: outdoor wedding in the summer, and there was like a 666 00:30:36,125 --> 00:30:38,565 Speaker 2: little bit of a tent, but not really. It happened 667 00:30:38,605 --> 00:30:41,485 Speaker 2: to rain, and the rain put so much pressure on 668 00:30:41,525 --> 00:30:44,805 Speaker 2: the tent that the tent collapsed and like a pile 669 00:30:44,845 --> 00:30:48,445 Speaker 2: of rain just also collapsed, so everyone got soaked. They 670 00:30:48,445 --> 00:30:50,925 Speaker 2: were moving the cake onto the dance floor and they 671 00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:53,645 Speaker 2: dropped the cake, so there was cake everywhere. It was 672 00:30:53,765 --> 00:30:56,725 Speaker 2: just like one of those like nightmare weddings where everything 673 00:30:56,845 --> 00:30:59,005 Speaker 2: went wrong and you couldn't save it. I mean, there 674 00:30:59,085 --> 00:31:02,205 Speaker 2: was just nothing you could do. So yeah, I mean 675 00:31:02,205 --> 00:31:04,685 Speaker 2: you're right. Like, even from a personal standpoint, when my 676 00:31:04,765 --> 00:31:06,645 Speaker 2: husband and I go to weddings, the ones that we 677 00:31:06,765 --> 00:31:09,085 Speaker 2: recall over the years are the ones whe are like 678 00:31:09,405 --> 00:31:12,125 Speaker 2: something was bad or wasn't good or you know, those 679 00:31:12,125 --> 00:31:14,085 Speaker 2: are the ones that we still talk about. So if 680 00:31:14,125 --> 00:31:17,045 Speaker 2: you are getting married and something wrong happens, just know 681 00:31:17,205 --> 00:31:18,725 Speaker 2: people are going to relive it and they're going to 682 00:31:18,845 --> 00:31:21,445 Speaker 2: laugh about it and they'll be memorable. You know, people 683 00:31:21,485 --> 00:31:23,285 Speaker 2: are not going to judge you for these things that 684 00:31:23,365 --> 00:31:25,525 Speaker 2: go wrong. They're going to turn it into a little joke. 685 00:31:25,845 --> 00:31:27,805 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're the ones that people remember, not the ones 686 00:31:27,845 --> 00:31:30,205 Speaker 1: that go off without a hitge. You say after the 687 00:31:30,205 --> 00:31:32,525 Speaker 1: wedding that one of three things happened with the bride 688 00:31:32,765 --> 00:31:35,925 Speaker 1: and you, because I imagine you've been through a relationship 689 00:31:35,925 --> 00:31:39,245 Speaker 1: forge by fire, the intensity of them getting married. What 690 00:31:39,325 --> 00:31:41,245 Speaker 1: are the ways that it ends? Do you stay in touch? 691 00:31:41,285 --> 00:31:41,645 Speaker 1: Do you not? 692 00:31:42,205 --> 00:31:44,805 Speaker 2: Sometimes we will stay in touch, you know, early on 693 00:31:44,845 --> 00:31:47,125 Speaker 2: in my experience, I've made friendships out of a lot 694 00:31:47,125 --> 00:31:49,365 Speaker 2: of the people I was working with because I was 695 00:31:49,405 --> 00:31:51,645 Speaker 2: so new at this and it was so interesting. But 696 00:31:51,725 --> 00:31:55,405 Speaker 2: either we'll stay friends, we'll never talk again, or one 697 00:31:55,405 --> 00:31:57,565 Speaker 2: person will want to be friends and the other won't. 698 00:31:57,925 --> 00:32:00,685 Speaker 2: But at this point in the journey, I'm rarely friends 699 00:32:00,725 --> 00:32:03,805 Speaker 2: with the people anymore, just because life is so different 700 00:32:03,845 --> 00:32:05,765 Speaker 2: and it's you know, I I've done it for so long. 701 00:32:06,285 --> 00:32:08,085 Speaker 2: But early on I did stay friends with a lot 702 00:32:08,125 --> 00:32:09,965 Speaker 2: of people, or at least in touch with them. I mean, 703 00:32:10,285 --> 00:32:11,805 Speaker 2: I still stay in touch with a lot of people. 704 00:32:11,845 --> 00:32:13,285 Speaker 2: I have a couple I worked a wedding for it, 705 00:32:13,405 --> 00:32:16,925 Speaker 2: probably like nine years ago, and we still LinkedIn message 706 00:32:16,965 --> 00:32:19,685 Speaker 2: like a couple times a year, catching up. So I 707 00:32:19,765 --> 00:32:21,605 Speaker 2: stay in touch with some of them, but I don't 708 00:32:21,605 --> 00:32:23,245 Speaker 2: necessarily think that we're friends. 709 00:32:23,765 --> 00:32:26,645 Speaker 1: After the short break. You'll hear what happens when a 710 00:32:26,685 --> 00:32:30,325 Speaker 1: professional bride's maid becomes a bride, You're not gonna believe 711 00:32:30,325 --> 00:32:38,165 Speaker 1: what she did after the break Jen, How have phones 712 00:32:38,285 --> 00:32:40,885 Speaker 1: changed weddings? I've heard you say that one of the 713 00:32:40,925 --> 00:32:43,605 Speaker 1: tips that you give brides is to not have their 714 00:32:43,645 --> 00:32:46,685 Speaker 1: phone with them on their wedding day. No one needs 715 00:32:46,685 --> 00:32:47,685 Speaker 1: a bride with a phone. 716 00:32:48,445 --> 00:32:51,325 Speaker 2: I mean, I think that phones have made weddings worse 717 00:32:51,365 --> 00:32:52,805 Speaker 2: in the sense of like number one, that puts so 718 00:32:52,885 --> 00:32:55,325 Speaker 2: much pressure on you. One of the biggest jobs right 719 00:32:55,365 --> 00:32:57,605 Speaker 2: now in the wedding industry is hiring someone to do 720 00:32:57,765 --> 00:33:00,245 Speaker 2: social media for you, so they'll come to your wedding, 721 00:33:00,325 --> 00:33:03,565 Speaker 2: they'll film reels, they'll film TikTok videos, whatever you want. 722 00:33:03,845 --> 00:33:05,685 Speaker 2: I love that, but I think if you're the person 723 00:33:05,685 --> 00:33:08,165 Speaker 2: getting married, the more time that you spend on your 724 00:33:08,165 --> 00:33:11,085 Speaker 2: phone takes you away from wedding. And weddings aren't all day. 725 00:33:11,205 --> 00:33:13,805 Speaker 2: They're capped at a certain amount of hours, so you 726 00:33:13,805 --> 00:33:15,925 Speaker 2: don't want the phone to be a distraction for you 727 00:33:16,125 --> 00:33:17,645 Speaker 2: on a special day in your life. 728 00:33:18,005 --> 00:33:20,125 Speaker 1: How did you decide to turn it into a business 729 00:33:20,125 --> 00:33:21,045 Speaker 1: and how have you done that? 730 00:33:21,405 --> 00:33:23,365 Speaker 2: You know over the years, when I started to get 731 00:33:23,365 --> 00:33:26,125 Speaker 2: booked for multiple weddings a weekend, I realized I can't 732 00:33:26,165 --> 00:33:28,325 Speaker 2: do this. And then as I started getting so busy, 733 00:33:28,365 --> 00:33:30,925 Speaker 2: I realized I need to hire help. So over the 734 00:33:31,005 --> 00:33:33,285 Speaker 2: years I've had over one hundred thousand people applied to 735 00:33:33,365 --> 00:33:35,365 Speaker 2: work for me for the business, which is a lot 736 00:33:35,405 --> 00:33:37,965 Speaker 2: and I cannot hire most of them. But over the 737 00:33:38,005 --> 00:33:40,965 Speaker 2: years I have hired people. I have outsourced the work 738 00:33:41,005 --> 00:33:43,285 Speaker 2: to people. I have a training course where I can 739 00:33:43,325 --> 00:33:45,765 Speaker 2: teach people how to start their own business just like this. 740 00:33:46,285 --> 00:33:49,205 Speaker 2: And I've also scaled virtually as well. With you know, 741 00:33:49,285 --> 00:33:51,445 Speaker 2: we have a native honor in Bestman in val writing 742 00:33:51,445 --> 00:33:54,365 Speaker 2: speech tool that we have virtually so different types of 743 00:33:54,445 --> 00:33:57,045 Speaker 2: products and services that don't require me to be there 744 00:33:57,085 --> 00:34:00,245 Speaker 2: in person have helped the business. Because if you're a 745 00:34:00,685 --> 00:34:03,445 Speaker 2: one person business, you're going to get burnt out. It's 746 00:34:03,485 --> 00:34:05,725 Speaker 2: really hard to double or triple your income. You have 747 00:34:05,805 --> 00:34:08,485 Speaker 2: to think of other income streams and that's something that 748 00:34:08,565 --> 00:34:10,485 Speaker 2: I have tried to do over the years. 749 00:34:10,925 --> 00:34:12,885 Speaker 1: Jen tell me about your own wedding. 750 00:34:13,245 --> 00:34:16,325 Speaker 2: Our wedding was a disaster, but beautiful. And then when 751 00:34:16,365 --> 00:34:18,925 Speaker 2: I say that is because we got engaged in twenty 752 00:34:19,005 --> 00:34:21,365 Speaker 2: nineteen and I thought to myself, changers have let me 753 00:34:21,445 --> 00:34:23,885 Speaker 2: into their wedding, I should let strangers into my wedding. 754 00:34:24,245 --> 00:34:26,245 Speaker 2: So I did this thing called Finally the Bride, where 755 00:34:26,245 --> 00:34:28,525 Speaker 2: strangers would vote on my wedding, and they planned the 756 00:34:28,565 --> 00:34:30,805 Speaker 2: whole wedding for me, where I was going to get married, 757 00:34:30,845 --> 00:34:33,245 Speaker 2: what I was going to wear, every single aspect of it. 758 00:34:33,845 --> 00:34:36,165 Speaker 2: We send out Save the dates for this wedding in 759 00:34:36,205 --> 00:34:39,285 Speaker 2: March of twenty twenty, and then COVID happened, so we 760 00:34:39,325 --> 00:34:42,885 Speaker 2: had to cancel this whole wedding, which would have been interesting, 761 00:34:42,925 --> 00:34:45,405 Speaker 2: I guess, but we canceled the whole thing, and we 762 00:34:45,525 --> 00:34:49,045 Speaker 2: ultimately decided to just elope. We eloped outside of the 763 00:34:49,085 --> 00:34:51,725 Speaker 2: coffee shop where we had our first date, and we 764 00:34:51,805 --> 00:34:54,605 Speaker 2: did it five years to the day of our first date. 765 00:34:54,725 --> 00:34:57,125 Speaker 2: So we just decided, you know what, it was COVID, 766 00:34:57,165 --> 00:34:59,125 Speaker 2: and we said we're going to get married. We did 767 00:34:59,125 --> 00:35:01,685 Speaker 2: it outside the coffee shop. We had about five people there. 768 00:35:01,845 --> 00:35:05,165 Speaker 2: We zoomed everybody else and that was it. I never 769 00:35:05,205 --> 00:35:07,565 Speaker 2: thought that's what I wanted, but it was so beautiful 770 00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:11,205 Speaker 2: and so perfect, especially someone like me who just struggled 771 00:35:11,245 --> 00:35:13,405 Speaker 2: figuring out what that could look like for them. 772 00:35:13,645 --> 00:35:15,605 Speaker 1: Can you just go back to the part where you 773 00:35:15,765 --> 00:35:19,965 Speaker 1: crowdsourced every decision I heard that you even got people 774 00:35:20,005 --> 00:35:22,525 Speaker 1: to vote on the budget, Like, how did you do that? 775 00:35:22,645 --> 00:35:25,445 Speaker 1: And what did people decide for your wedding? Ultimately, what 776 00:35:25,565 --> 00:35:27,005 Speaker 1: was the crowdsourcing result? 777 00:35:27,405 --> 00:35:29,085 Speaker 2: You know, I had them to side on everything. But 778 00:35:29,125 --> 00:35:31,045 Speaker 2: of course I made the options things I would be 779 00:35:31,085 --> 00:35:33,045 Speaker 2: comfortable with, you know, So for like the budget, I 780 00:35:33,125 --> 00:35:35,725 Speaker 2: wasn't like one million dollars like. I did things that 781 00:35:35,765 --> 00:35:39,005 Speaker 2: I could really pull off. And you know, even for 782 00:35:39,085 --> 00:35:41,725 Speaker 2: like the dresses, I gave options and I knew what 783 00:35:41,805 --> 00:35:44,245 Speaker 2: I wanted, and of course it never won because I 784 00:35:44,285 --> 00:35:46,805 Speaker 2: wanted more obscure things like I wanted just to have 785 00:35:46,845 --> 00:35:48,645 Speaker 2: pizza at the wedding, and I wanted to wear a 786 00:35:48,685 --> 00:35:51,565 Speaker 2: sequin and like all this stuff. But I was okay 787 00:35:51,605 --> 00:35:54,325 Speaker 2: with ultimately whatever was going to be chosen for me 788 00:35:54,405 --> 00:35:56,325 Speaker 2: because I had been to so many weddings. I didn't 789 00:35:56,365 --> 00:35:58,765 Speaker 2: want a wedding. I didn't really care, and this was 790 00:35:58,805 --> 00:36:02,045 Speaker 2: my way of just involving everybody else into my experience. 791 00:36:02,205 --> 00:36:05,245 Speaker 2: So I had surrendered to, I don't care if you 792 00:36:05,245 --> 00:36:07,045 Speaker 2: make me wear a clown suit. I don't care if 793 00:36:07,085 --> 00:36:10,365 Speaker 2: I'm getting married skydiving, Like, whatever you want, I will do. 794 00:36:11,045 --> 00:36:14,645 Speaker 2: And I honestly surrendered to that and luckily they planned 795 00:36:14,725 --> 00:36:18,005 Speaker 2: something that was a bit more traditional, but COVID happened 796 00:36:18,125 --> 00:36:20,405 Speaker 2: and it was all scrapped. We sent out to save 797 00:36:20,445 --> 00:36:22,405 Speaker 2: the dates, and then a month later we sent out 798 00:36:22,445 --> 00:36:25,085 Speaker 2: cancelations because it just didn't seem like COVID was going 799 00:36:25,165 --> 00:36:25,525 Speaker 2: to end. 800 00:36:26,005 --> 00:36:28,085 Speaker 1: Do you still do the work now? Do you still 801 00:36:28,285 --> 00:36:31,005 Speaker 1: bridesmaid for people? And how are you secret? Because you've 802 00:36:31,005 --> 00:36:33,485 Speaker 1: done all this press, You've got social you've got a 803 00:36:33,485 --> 00:36:35,205 Speaker 1: whole business, You've written books. 804 00:36:35,485 --> 00:36:37,245 Speaker 2: Yeah, I still do it. I've got a bunch of 805 00:36:37,245 --> 00:36:40,485 Speaker 2: weddings books this year, next year. You'd be surprised. I mean, 806 00:36:40,525 --> 00:36:42,045 Speaker 2: I don't think like people would see me at a 807 00:36:42,045 --> 00:36:44,325 Speaker 2: wedding and go, I know you, you're the bridesmaid girl. 808 00:36:44,565 --> 00:36:47,125 Speaker 2: That's honestly never really happened. I think, if anything, people 809 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,685 Speaker 2: might see me and go, wow, you know you look 810 00:36:48,725 --> 00:36:51,285 Speaker 2: really familiar. What do I know you from? So I 811 00:36:51,325 --> 00:36:53,525 Speaker 2: still do it. If people reach out and they say, 812 00:36:53,645 --> 00:36:55,645 Speaker 2: I want to hire you, but I don't want you. 813 00:36:55,845 --> 00:36:58,005 Speaker 2: I have other people who can work the weddings for 814 00:36:58,045 --> 00:37:00,845 Speaker 2: me instead of me actually going what's. 815 00:37:00,645 --> 00:37:05,605 Speaker 1: Your favorite aspect of it and what's your least favorite aspect. 816 00:37:06,285 --> 00:37:09,005 Speaker 2: I love getting to know the people, because I find 817 00:37:09,045 --> 00:37:12,325 Speaker 2: people so fascinating. If you ask people a series of 818 00:37:12,365 --> 00:37:15,365 Speaker 2: the right questions, you learn about a side of them 819 00:37:15,525 --> 00:37:18,365 Speaker 2: that maybe nobody else knows. And I think people are 820 00:37:18,485 --> 00:37:22,805 Speaker 2: so dynamic. I think people are frightening but beautiful, and 821 00:37:23,165 --> 00:37:25,805 Speaker 2: I love getting to know these sides of people. I 822 00:37:25,845 --> 00:37:28,765 Speaker 2: just love it so much. So my favorite part is 823 00:37:28,805 --> 00:37:31,765 Speaker 2: building that genuine connection with people, is breaking down that 824 00:37:31,805 --> 00:37:35,405 Speaker 2: wall of stranger to stranger and just really understanding them. 825 00:37:35,765 --> 00:37:38,005 Speaker 2: I'd say my least favorite part is the actual wedding, 826 00:37:38,205 --> 00:37:40,805 Speaker 2: you know, like, I think the whole thing is just 827 00:37:40,845 --> 00:37:42,525 Speaker 2: like I don't know why people are doing it this 828 00:37:42,605 --> 00:37:44,845 Speaker 2: way still, Like why they're wearing the white dress, why 829 00:37:44,885 --> 00:37:47,525 Speaker 2: they're doing this, Like all that stuff is so weird 830 00:37:47,525 --> 00:37:50,605 Speaker 2: to me. So I hope to inspire more people to 831 00:37:50,765 --> 00:37:54,045 Speaker 2: just do whatever you want ditcheny traditions that don't make 832 00:37:54,085 --> 00:37:56,285 Speaker 2: sense and have a good time because hopefully it's the 833 00:37:56,325 --> 00:37:58,085 Speaker 2: only time you're going to do it, so you might 834 00:37:58,125 --> 00:37:59,325 Speaker 2: as well do it your way. 835 00:37:59,685 --> 00:38:02,605 Speaker 1: And just finally, for people who are actual bridesmaids, the 836 00:38:02,725 --> 00:38:07,645 Speaker 1: unpied kind, it's a really hot job. What is your 837 00:38:07,685 --> 00:38:09,805 Speaker 1: advice and is there a way to say say no 838 00:38:10,325 --> 00:38:12,205 Speaker 1: if someone asks you to be a bridesmaid. 839 00:38:12,605 --> 00:38:15,805 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. I think the whole process of being 840 00:38:15,845 --> 00:38:18,245 Speaker 2: asked to be a bridesmaid is so flawed. Like, stop 841 00:38:18,285 --> 00:38:21,645 Speaker 2: asking people to be bridesmaids. Instead, go to them and say, hey, 842 00:38:21,685 --> 00:38:23,525 Speaker 2: I would love for you to be involved in my wedding. 843 00:38:23,565 --> 00:38:25,845 Speaker 2: Here's what I'm thinking. If you can't do this or 844 00:38:25,885 --> 00:38:28,085 Speaker 2: it doesn't really make sense for you right now, I 845 00:38:28,165 --> 00:38:31,965 Speaker 2: still love you and I still want to include you. Basically, like, 846 00:38:32,165 --> 00:38:34,165 Speaker 2: not give them an out, but just make it very 847 00:38:34,165 --> 00:38:36,245 Speaker 2: clear what you expect of them, and then say, hey, 848 00:38:36,325 --> 00:38:38,445 Speaker 2: if this isn't right for you right now, it's all good. 849 00:38:38,485 --> 00:38:40,205 Speaker 2: I love you. I still want you to be there 850 00:38:40,245 --> 00:38:42,565 Speaker 2: and be a part of it. So don't make it 851 00:38:42,605 --> 00:38:45,485 Speaker 2: like this giant proposal where people feel forced to say yes. 852 00:38:45,565 --> 00:38:48,125 Speaker 2: I think that's so flawed. If you are a bridesmaid 853 00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:49,885 Speaker 2: and you want to be a good bridesmaid, just be 854 00:38:49,965 --> 00:38:53,205 Speaker 2: a good friend. Check in on that person. Offer to 855 00:38:53,245 --> 00:38:54,805 Speaker 2: help in the ways that you're good at. You know, 856 00:38:54,805 --> 00:38:56,725 Speaker 2: if you're a good writer, offer to help them with 857 00:38:56,765 --> 00:38:59,485 Speaker 2: their vows. If you're good at organizing, offer to help 858 00:38:59,485 --> 00:39:01,565 Speaker 2: them with that, Like show up in the way that 859 00:39:01,605 --> 00:39:04,885 Speaker 2: your skills present. And also be very upfront about what 860 00:39:04,925 --> 00:39:06,805 Speaker 2: you have going on in life. You know, say hey, 861 00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:08,805 Speaker 2: I would love to be a bridesmaid. Also, right now, 862 00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:11,045 Speaker 2: I'm pregnant. Right now, I've just lost my job. So 863 00:39:11,085 --> 00:39:12,885 Speaker 2: there might be some hiccups along the way, but I 864 00:39:12,925 --> 00:39:15,285 Speaker 2: promise to be there for you and however I can 865 00:39:15,365 --> 00:39:18,645 Speaker 2: throughout this process. So a mix of honesty, a mix 866 00:39:18,685 --> 00:39:21,285 Speaker 2: of showing up like a good friend would, and just 867 00:39:21,325 --> 00:39:23,885 Speaker 2: a mix of being upfront with the person and not 868 00:39:23,925 --> 00:39:26,285 Speaker 2: taking offense if they say hey, I want more from you, 869 00:39:26,645 --> 00:39:29,405 Speaker 2: that's it, you know. So I think the role of 870 00:39:29,405 --> 00:39:31,685 Speaker 2: being a bridesmaid will change over the years, and I 871 00:39:31,685 --> 00:39:33,805 Speaker 2: think that's good. I think it'll be less formal and 872 00:39:33,925 --> 00:39:37,485 Speaker 2: more just informal. How do you mean people are saying, hey, 873 00:39:37,485 --> 00:39:39,445 Speaker 2: I don't I'm not going to have bridesmaids, but I 874 00:39:39,485 --> 00:39:41,165 Speaker 2: still want you to be involved, you know, I still 875 00:39:41,205 --> 00:39:43,205 Speaker 2: want you to come to this and come to that, 876 00:39:43,405 --> 00:39:45,205 Speaker 2: and you know, at the wedding, maybe like read a 877 00:39:45,245 --> 00:39:47,805 Speaker 2: speech or something, but you're not called a bridesmaid and 878 00:39:47,805 --> 00:39:50,365 Speaker 2: you're not wearing a bridesmaids dress. You know, I'm going 879 00:39:50,365 --> 00:39:52,565 Speaker 2: to my one of my best friend's weddings in September 880 00:39:52,925 --> 00:39:54,885 Speaker 2: and I would have been her maid of honor, you know. 881 00:39:54,925 --> 00:39:56,845 Speaker 2: But she's not doing any of that. She's like, I 882 00:39:56,885 --> 00:39:58,685 Speaker 2: just want you all to show up, get ready with me, 883 00:39:58,805 --> 00:40:00,925 Speaker 2: have a good time, and that's it. No walking down 884 00:40:00,965 --> 00:40:03,845 Speaker 2: the aisle, none of this extra stuff. That's what it's 885 00:40:03,845 --> 00:40:05,845 Speaker 2: going to be more of is picking people who you 886 00:40:05,965 --> 00:40:08,325 Speaker 2: love and the door and having them be involved in 887 00:40:08,405 --> 00:40:12,725 Speaker 2: multiple different ways, but not with this like strict structured approach. 888 00:40:13,165 --> 00:40:15,285 Speaker 1: You have a baby now, your little girl, But you 889 00:40:15,325 --> 00:40:17,965 Speaker 1: wrote honestly about your fear of becoming a mom, and 890 00:40:18,005 --> 00:40:20,165 Speaker 1: you found it an online community called Scared to be 891 00:40:20,205 --> 00:40:22,405 Speaker 1: a Mom? Can you just tell me a little bit 892 00:40:22,445 --> 00:40:22,885 Speaker 1: about that? 893 00:40:23,405 --> 00:40:26,845 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I was so scared to become a mom? 894 00:40:26,885 --> 00:40:28,045 Speaker 1: Why why were you? 895 00:40:28,285 --> 00:40:30,965 Speaker 2: I didn't think I was. I still don't think i'm qualified. 896 00:40:31,405 --> 00:40:34,525 Speaker 2: You know. I really struggled with the idea of what 897 00:40:34,565 --> 00:40:36,685 Speaker 2: it was going to be like and how I was 898 00:40:36,725 --> 00:40:39,445 Speaker 2: going to do everything, and what life was going to 899 00:40:39,485 --> 00:40:42,005 Speaker 2: be like when it wasn't just the gen show of 900 00:40:42,085 --> 00:40:45,005 Speaker 2: focusing on being an entrepreneur and doing all these things. 901 00:40:45,085 --> 00:40:47,445 Speaker 2: I just couldn't wrap my head around what being a 902 00:40:47,485 --> 00:40:50,205 Speaker 2: mom would be like. It was terrifying. Plus the art 903 00:40:50,245 --> 00:40:52,525 Speaker 2: of giving birth just terrified me. I don't know how 904 00:40:52,525 --> 00:40:54,405 Speaker 2: people did it, Like I just I would look at 905 00:40:54,405 --> 00:40:56,485 Speaker 2: moms and think to myself, like, how did you do it? 906 00:40:56,485 --> 00:40:59,165 Speaker 2: And why aren't you talking about that? Like it just 907 00:40:59,605 --> 00:41:03,045 Speaker 2: freaked me out. And then once it happened, I realized, Okay, 908 00:41:03,125 --> 00:41:05,365 Speaker 2: you know, it is sort of true that you know 909 00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:08,205 Speaker 2: parts of this you forget. You forget a lot of 910 00:41:08,245 --> 00:41:10,805 Speaker 2: the birth trauma, forget a lot of the early days. 911 00:41:11,165 --> 00:41:13,765 Speaker 2: But I still find it to be very, very hard 912 00:41:13,885 --> 00:41:17,285 Speaker 2: to be a mom. I think it's just crazy what 913 00:41:17,325 --> 00:41:20,125 Speaker 2: women go through and don't talk about and are forced 914 00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:22,765 Speaker 2: to suppress and hide. And I struggle with that because 915 00:41:22,765 --> 00:41:25,125 Speaker 2: I'm a very honest person. If you get me talking, 916 00:41:25,245 --> 00:41:27,805 Speaker 2: I will just tell you every honest thing in the world. 917 00:41:28,445 --> 00:41:30,045 Speaker 2: And a lot of people are weirded out by that 918 00:41:30,325 --> 00:41:33,125 Speaker 2: and offended by that. And that's something that I'm just 919 00:41:33,445 --> 00:41:35,685 Speaker 2: learning about now in this mom world, is like, you're 920 00:41:35,725 --> 00:41:37,765 Speaker 2: not supposed to complain, You're not supposed to be honest. 921 00:41:37,805 --> 00:41:40,325 Speaker 2: You're supposed to say everything is great, and I love it. 922 00:41:40,925 --> 00:41:43,245 Speaker 2: So I tried to start this community to have a 923 00:41:43,285 --> 00:41:44,885 Speaker 2: safe space to talk about that. 924 00:41:45,165 --> 00:41:48,765 Speaker 1: I think you should expand your business. His' me giving 925 00:41:48,805 --> 00:41:52,605 Speaker 1: you business advice. Want to tell me to another you're 926 00:41:52,685 --> 00:41:56,165 Speaker 1: so lovely to talk to. When you think about what 927 00:41:56,205 --> 00:41:59,485 Speaker 1: a bride'smaid does, it's like a friend with benefits in 928 00:41:59,485 --> 00:42:01,525 Speaker 1: a way, isn't it. I mean not those kind of benefits, 929 00:42:01,525 --> 00:42:05,005 Speaker 1: but it's a friend who is really giving you extra 930 00:42:05,045 --> 00:42:06,845 Speaker 1: support in a period of your life. And there are 931 00:42:06,845 --> 00:42:09,485 Speaker 1: lots of times when women need that. Becoming a mother 932 00:42:09,445 --> 00:42:12,365 Speaker 1: there is one. Being sick is another. Maybe if someone's 933 00:42:12,365 --> 00:42:14,325 Speaker 1: been diagnosed with an illness or they're going through a 934 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:16,165 Speaker 1: mental health I mean, I know you're not a counselor, 935 00:42:16,685 --> 00:42:20,085 Speaker 1: but there's a real role for a friend, a close 936 00:42:20,165 --> 00:42:23,765 Speaker 1: female friend, in those times of transition in a woman's life. 937 00:42:24,005 --> 00:42:26,285 Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that and I have thought about that, 938 00:42:26,325 --> 00:42:29,005 Speaker 2: you know, especially in this mom world of like who 939 00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:30,605 Speaker 2: do you talk to? Who do you go to? Especially 940 00:42:30,645 --> 00:42:32,765 Speaker 2: for that honest, unbiased approach. You know, a lot of 941 00:42:32,805 --> 00:42:34,365 Speaker 2: my friends, when I tell them how you feel, they're like, 942 00:42:34,565 --> 00:42:36,445 Speaker 2: you'll be okay, you'll get through it, And I'm like, no, no, no, 943 00:42:36,565 --> 00:42:38,125 Speaker 2: I just want you to like tell me it sucks, 944 00:42:38,245 --> 00:42:39,805 Speaker 2: you know, like I don't want you to be my 945 00:42:39,965 --> 00:42:43,125 Speaker 2: friend right now. I think that's amazing and That's so true, 946 00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:45,685 Speaker 2: because there is more than just the bride's made aspect 947 00:42:45,845 --> 00:42:48,285 Speaker 2: of being a woman or just being a person. 948 00:42:48,765 --> 00:42:51,845 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like taking that service that you provide and 949 00:42:51,885 --> 00:42:55,525 Speaker 1: providing it at different pivotal times in a woman's life. Anyway, 950 00:42:55,765 --> 00:43:00,085 Speaker 1: would love it if you did that. Yeah, how good's Jen? 951 00:43:00,365 --> 00:43:04,805 Speaker 1: How good is that story? A professional bridesmaid? What an 952 00:43:04,885 --> 00:43:07,605 Speaker 1: interesting business idea. I don't think there is anything like 953 00:43:07,645 --> 00:43:11,605 Speaker 1: that here, and maybe there should be, because she's actually 954 00:43:11,605 --> 00:43:14,925 Speaker 1: a lady startup. She's a female entrepreneur who saw a 955 00:43:14,965 --> 00:43:18,525 Speaker 1: gap in the market, established that there was a market 956 00:43:18,525 --> 00:43:22,685 Speaker 1: in that gap, and started her own business for something 957 00:43:22,725 --> 00:43:25,765 Speaker 1: that she thought was required. I thought it was so clever. 958 00:43:26,405 --> 00:43:28,565 Speaker 1: That's what I did with Mama Mia really and my 959 00:43:28,645 --> 00:43:31,245 Speaker 1: bloody love stories like that. As you heard, I could 960 00:43:31,285 --> 00:43:34,925 Speaker 1: not help but give her some business advice. But I 961 00:43:34,925 --> 00:43:37,245 Speaker 1: think what I'll take away from this conversation the most, 962 00:43:37,685 --> 00:43:40,205 Speaker 1: the thing that I will probably say to the women 963 00:43:40,245 --> 00:43:42,885 Speaker 1: in my life when they're getting married, is that the 964 00:43:42,925 --> 00:43:46,205 Speaker 1: wedding is not the marriage. You can have the best 965 00:43:46,205 --> 00:43:50,085 Speaker 1: wedding ever, and the marriage may not last, or everything 966 00:43:50,125 --> 00:43:52,645 Speaker 1: can go wrong at your wedding, which it did with mine. 967 00:43:52,645 --> 00:43:55,725 Speaker 1: I hated my wedding and it doesn't do me your marriage. 968 00:43:56,245 --> 00:43:59,405 Speaker 1: My friend who was an amazing bride, she was my 969 00:43:59,565 --> 00:44:02,085 Speaker 1: bride's maid, and I made her pretty much organized my 970 00:44:02,125 --> 00:44:04,845 Speaker 1: wedding because I was so disinterested in it. And she 971 00:44:04,885 --> 00:44:08,365 Speaker 1: loves weddings so much that she once talked about having 972 00:44:08,805 --> 00:44:12,285 Speaker 1: a wedding organizing business, like becoming a wedding planner. But 973 00:44:12,365 --> 00:44:14,805 Speaker 1: she said the only problem with that is the brides 974 00:44:15,245 --> 00:44:18,005 Speaker 1: because they would have opinions and she didn't want their opinions. 975 00:44:18,285 --> 00:44:20,685 Speaker 1: So she decided she if she did it, she would 976 00:44:20,685 --> 00:44:24,565 Speaker 1: call her business Your Day, My Way. I would have 977 00:44:24,565 --> 00:44:26,885 Speaker 1: paid her to organize my wedding, in fact, she did, 978 00:44:26,885 --> 00:44:28,445 Speaker 1: but I didn't have to pay her. Do you know 979 00:44:28,485 --> 00:44:31,365 Speaker 1: what I did? Send out my wedding invitations in like 980 00:44:32,045 --> 00:44:34,605 Speaker 1: you know you like, yellow business envelopes. I stole them 981 00:44:34,845 --> 00:44:37,765 Speaker 1: from my office where I worked at the time, and 982 00:44:37,845 --> 00:44:41,085 Speaker 1: she was so horrified we almost broke up as friends. 983 00:44:41,165 --> 00:44:45,085 Speaker 1: She couldn't believe that I would do something so awful. 984 00:44:46,165 --> 00:44:48,885 Speaker 1: That's the difference between her and me. Along with her 985 00:44:48,885 --> 00:44:52,085 Speaker 1: bridesmaid for high Business, Jen Glance has written a few 986 00:44:52,245 --> 00:44:54,325 Speaker 1: very entertaining books and has a lot of other cool 987 00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:56,085 Speaker 1: things going on, So the best way to connect with 988 00:44:56,165 --> 00:44:59,165 Speaker 1: her work is through her website and her socials, which 989 00:44:59,165 --> 00:45:02,085 Speaker 1: we will link to in the show notes. The executive 990 00:45:02,125 --> 00:45:05,325 Speaker 1: producer of this episode is Naima Brown, with audio production 991 00:45:05,685 --> 00:45:08,965 Speaker 1: by Leah Porchius and I am mea Friedman and I 992 00:45:09,005 --> 00:45:11,765 Speaker 1: have no not been asked to be a bridesmaid since 993 00:45:11,805 --> 00:45:15,725 Speaker 1: my two disastrous efforts, I wonder why tell us your 994 00:45:15,765 --> 00:45:19,285 Speaker 1: stories about being a bridesmaid. You can follow us on Instagram. 995 00:45:19,485 --> 00:45:22,405 Speaker 1: One more thing before I do go? Did you know 996 00:45:22,445 --> 00:45:25,125 Speaker 1: that we have over five hundred episodes of No Filter? 997 00:45:26,125 --> 00:45:28,045 Speaker 1: I have No Filter? Can you tell? If you want 998 00:45:28,085 --> 00:45:32,805 Speaker 1: more content? More interviews about relationships and love, check out 999 00:45:32,805 --> 00:45:35,005 Speaker 1: my interview with Esther Perell. I'm obsessed with her, and 1000 00:45:35,045 --> 00:45:37,205 Speaker 1: not only because she has the most glorious accent you've 1001 00:45:37,205 --> 00:45:41,165 Speaker 1: ever heard. She knows everything about love and relationships and 1002 00:45:41,245 --> 00:45:44,165 Speaker 1: why an affair doesn't have to be the end of 1003 00:45:44,205 --> 00:45:47,685 Speaker 1: your relationship. There is much more in our archive for you. 1004 00:45:47,725 --> 00:45:50,285 Speaker 1: We will link to the Esther Peerrell interview in the 1005 00:45:50,285 --> 00:45:52,885 Speaker 1: show notes. Go have a look, tell us what you think. 1006 00:45:53,205 --> 00:46:06,645 Speaker 1: Do it now? Love you Bye,