1 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,559 Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma Mia podcast. 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 2: Oh this is fun. I've never got to talk to 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,319 Speaker 2: nobody about this, so I have a really, really hot 4 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 2: take about this. I don't think any of us are 5 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 2: born extraordinary like at all. 6 00:00:22,919 --> 00:00:26,639 Speaker 1: Jason DeFord, or as the world knows him Jelly Roll, 7 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,839 Speaker 1: has one of the most extraordinary stories in modern music. 8 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: He grew up in the Antioch neighborhood of Nashville, surrounded 9 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 1: by chaos addiction, and he survived. By fourteen, he was arrested. 10 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: He spent the next ten years cycling in and out 11 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: of jail, selling mixed tapes out of his car, and 12 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,520 Speaker 1: trying to forgive himself for who he'd been, and then 13 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: he changed everything. He's now a Grammy nominated artist, a 14 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: CMA New Artist of the Year, and one of country 15 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: music's most soulful, brutally honest storytellers. His songs about fate, guilt, addiction, 16 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: and redemption have made millions of people feel seen. And 17 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 1: while he's here in Australia on tour, I sat down 18 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,959 Speaker 1: with him. Literally he was about to walk on stage 19 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: and I sat down with him to talk about all 20 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: of it, the years behind bars, the power of forgiveness, 21 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: the woman who loved him before the world did, and 22 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: the man he's become for his children and trigger warning 23 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: his gut issues. He's a delightful human being. From a 24 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: jail selling Tennessee to the biggest stages in country music. 25 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: This is jelly roll and this is definitely no filter. 26 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 2: Ah, thank you so much for your patience. 27 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: Apparently you were you had to be physioed. 28 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 2: A physiold is a good word to put Yeah, physio 29 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 2: what did you have to get done? Tore my moniscus 30 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 2: running my left knee all right? Yeah yeah, and it's 31 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 2: like really been hurting me. 32 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,399 Speaker 1: So it's part of the health. Part of the health it's. 33 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: Been part of the health start. Big part of the 34 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 2: health journey has been running. So it blew my whole 35 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 2: left knee out. 36 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: What does the physio I do? 37 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 2: You've never been you've been to a physiogot don't lie 38 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 2: on this podcast? Is this what you do on this podcast? 39 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 2: You fucking lie to people? Is that what I signed 40 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,639 Speaker 2: up for here is to be gaslighted? 41 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: But it's not called no lies? Do you Why I 42 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: don't like a physio? 43 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,359 Speaker 2: Well, now you know what a physio is. You don't 44 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: like one? Just a feeling of what does a physio do? 45 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 2: You wonder who this is gonna be. 46 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: You don't like the way they send you away with 47 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: a job to do. I like a Cairo. I like 48 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,399 Speaker 1: a quick fix. I like a McDonald's drive Creek Creek. 49 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 2: No, I like a little homework. I like a little 50 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 2: I like a little If this doesn't work, it's on you. 51 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: Well, because you are and it's no secret you're someone 52 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: who likes the work. 53 00:02:58,480 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. I love the work, amen. 54 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: And you do the work on yourself, yes, ma'am. The 55 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:08,639 Speaker 1: work internally and the work externally. And when you do that, 56 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: I think the road rises to meet you. And that's 57 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: the spot that you are in at the moment. Do 58 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: you feel that you are? 59 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 2: I think so, man. I think it's a thing where 60 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 2: if you're willing to put in the work and you're 61 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 2: willing to give God a little glory, that he'll meet 62 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 2: you exactly where you are. And I think that's what 63 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 2: happened to me. And I'm not afraid of the work. 64 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 2: You're saying. That means a lot that you've noticed that 65 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 2: in me, because my father instilled a big work ethic 66 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 2: in me, and one of the things he is is 67 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 2: he was like, just do the work, don't talk about it. 68 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 2: So I sometimes I want to stop with that because 69 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 2: anybody notice I'm really working hard. My daddy told me 70 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 2: not to do that, so I got to keep working. 71 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 2: So you notice, and that's really cool. Thanks you. 72 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 1: I do notice it, and obviously the people that love 73 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: you notice that. But I think also there's something about 74 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 1: when someone has brought themselves two people and they have 75 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: invited being seen, because as humans, so often we like 76 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: we close down the bits of ourselves that are where 77 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: the spiders leave. You and your work in music and 78 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 1: your personal work seems to have been like stripping away 79 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: showing those places of darkness and shame. 80 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, it's important, man. I think also I did 81 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 2: a lot of work in the cracks and crevices of 82 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 2: my own story, so I realized that my music transcends 83 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 2: into the cracks and crevices of people's story. Yes, So 84 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 2: it's this kind of really beautiful thing that we're all 85 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 2: kind of meeting each other exactly where we are, Like tonight, 86 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 2: there's gonna be fifteen sixteen thousand people that are going 87 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,720 Speaker 2: to be like, it's gonna be like a big group 88 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 2: therapy session. 89 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: And then what do you take away from that? 90 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 2: I leave feeling very like it's therapy for me. Yeah, 91 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 2: you know, I leave feeling as good as everybody else. 92 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 2: I leave feeling the way I hope they leave. I 93 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 2: always leave feeling a little lighter, a little more tired, 94 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 2: and a little more hopeful every. 95 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: Show, because there must be a part of you that 96 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: reflects on you. Kin't appreciate where you are unless you 97 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: acknowledge where you've been, right and where you came from. 98 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 1: Was so troubled? 99 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I was. I was, I was, I was, 100 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,039 Speaker 2: I wanted. I was anxious to see what word you 101 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 2: was going to use right now? 102 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: Well, so is I. 103 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 2: I thought you were going to say hell. I was like, yes, 104 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,839 Speaker 2: that would have work, dude, Wow, hell it was. 105 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,239 Speaker 1: It's a very hard thing to imagine. Also for people 106 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: maybe who come from functional families. We have like we 107 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: witnessed some dysfunction or whatever. But the level of a 108 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: loneeness that you seem to have felt as a child, 109 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: is that another good word? 110 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. And it's deeper than just as a child. 111 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 2: It's like, I still struggle with my mental health of 112 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 2: feeling alone in a room full of people, right, you know, 113 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 2: I still I can be around a room full of 114 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 2: people that I think I connect with in a certain way, 115 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 2: but still not feel fully connected at times. 116 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: And what what do you think that is? 117 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 2: It's always a self thing. It's always a find in 118 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 2: a way to connect. It's always a me thing. 119 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: Is it the child inside or I don't know if. 120 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 2: It's my inner child, As much as I've a lot 121 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,359 Speaker 2: of work on the inner as it is just fine. 122 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,719 Speaker 2: I think now it's being comfortable in who I'm becoming 123 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 2: and where I'm at in my life. It's like this 124 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 2: really weird variable of success happened to me that changed 125 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 2: everything for me a little bit more than already was 126 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 2: going to change, Like therapy and changing my life was 127 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,480 Speaker 2: going to make me a better human anyways. But then 128 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 2: you add then there's this other level of stress that 129 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 2: kind of came with them, you know. 130 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: And that brings its own a team, it brings its 131 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: own problems, right, So it's like I spend more time 132 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,600 Speaker 1: dealing with those problems now than young jelly Roll problems. 133 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 2: Young jelly Roll. I kind of made peace with that 134 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 2: part of my shadow and we're cold. But it's current 135 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,040 Speaker 2: Jelly Roll that I'm constantly trying to figure out where 136 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 2: he fits in this whole fucking thing. 137 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: But you want to understand him until one day he 138 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 1: seems that young Jelly Roll as well, because you'll be 139 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: old jelly Roll. 140 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, God, I feel like old jelly Roll now, yeah, 141 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 2: I feel old us right when I start knowing the 142 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 2: terms of shit that can blow out in your knee, 143 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 2: I'm doing bad. 144 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't. I believe you don't want to know 145 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: too much about the body. 146 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 2: No, No, I don't want to know that. I've already 147 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 2: know more about the human need than I ever wanted 148 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 2: to know. 149 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 1: Okay, So when you were talking about like young Jelly Roll, 150 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: and it's part of your law that you were a 151 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: fine young criminal and you ended up in like jew 152 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 1: what we call juvie. 153 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we call it juvi two. 154 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, when you were thirteen, yes. 155 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 2: Ma'am, Yes, ma'am, and ended up in and out of 156 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 2: the system for like the next twelve years after that 157 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 2: until I was like twenty five. 158 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: And normally that's that is as we know about places 159 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: that offer incarceration without rehabilitation or whatever, that's a recipe 160 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: for basically fucking someone up for the rest of their life. 161 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 1: Very often it is it's not like a there's no 162 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 1: road to redemption? 163 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, Are you saying without rehabilitation such a good 164 00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 2: term too, because the concept that this is what the 165 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 2: warden his name is champ to Andy's at a famous 166 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 2: prison in America called San Quentin. You ever heard of 167 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 2: It's like probably one of our most famous prisons in 168 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 2: the world. And he said this in an interview one 169 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 2: day that blew my mind. I never thought of it 170 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 2: this way, even as a convict. He said, whether we 171 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 2: want it to or not, Like the average human does 172 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,679 Speaker 2: not know this, but whether they want this to happen 173 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 2: or not, ninety nine percent of the incarcerated population is 174 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 2: coming home one day. Only one percent of that population 175 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,999 Speaker 2: is actually going to do life. So we should do 176 00:08:36,079 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 2: everything we can to put our best foot forward to 177 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 2: try to rehabilitate them to be productive members of society, 178 00:08:41,359 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 2: because whether we want to or not, we're going to 179 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,679 Speaker 2: have to keep dealing with them in our society. 180 00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,959 Speaker 1: All right, But if we'd look at you, you're an 181 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: extraordinary example. Were you without taking ego aside, do you 182 00:08:55,959 --> 00:08:59,839 Speaker 1: think that you were an extraordinary keid? That little Jelly 183 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,519 Speaker 1: was an extraordinary keid. 184 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 2: Oh, this is fun. I've never got to talk to 185 00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:06,439 Speaker 2: nobody about this, so I have a really really hot 186 00:09:06,439 --> 00:09:09,879 Speaker 2: take about this. I don't think any of us are 187 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,959 Speaker 2: born extraordinary, like at all. I don't think that like 188 00:09:15,199 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 2: there is this thing that happens where God's up there 189 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,879 Speaker 2: going this one gets a little more sprinkled of music, 190 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 2: and this one like God's not very dusty. That's what. 191 00:09:24,839 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 2: That's what. You didn't get music because you didn't choose 192 00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 2: to get music, you know, had you picked up a guitar. 193 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 2: I didn't know my right from my left. I was 194 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 2: I was slew footed, I have a bad ear. I'm 195 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 2: tone deaf almost. 196 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: I don't know the difference of notes. 197 00:09:36,719 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 2: It's like I didn't have any of what it took 198 00:09:39,199 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 2: to actually be a musician. I showed no early signs 199 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 2: of being a good musician. Now there are people that 200 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,719 Speaker 2: naturally take the stuff, like kids do naturally want to 201 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:54,599 Speaker 2: go hit the thing. Yeah, for sure, some kids just 202 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,839 Speaker 2: naturally want to do things earlier. But I don't think 203 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 2: it's as much of like they were given something extraordinary. 204 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,879 Speaker 2: I think they just found something they really loved earlier 205 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 2: than everybody, and that they were willing to do it 206 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,679 Speaker 2: and be bad at it and bored with doing it 207 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,999 Speaker 2: good for longer than everybody else. So really crazy hot take. 208 00:10:14,119 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 2: But I truly don't believe that, like God's up there 209 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 2: just giving people more doses of stuff like that would 210 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:22,839 Speaker 2: almost go into predestination to me, that like some people 211 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 2: were never meant to be successful because they wasn't given 212 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 2: that little angels is that an Australian reference or the 213 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 2: models or Angels? 214 00:10:36,839 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: Physical beauty is physical beauty is given to people and then. 215 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 2: It's a genetic thing. It's a genetic thing, just like 216 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 2: athletic traits. But also the flip side of that is 217 00:10:47,599 --> 00:10:48,959 Speaker 2: you would talk to some of those women to say 218 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 2: it was a curse because they lived their entire life 219 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,439 Speaker 2: they were genetically predispositioned to look a little better. So 220 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,559 Speaker 2: because of that, they spent their whole life bleimic or 221 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 2: trying to fit into the frame because all they heard 222 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,639 Speaker 2: their whole life was people were projecting that on them 223 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 2: and you should be a mile you're so beautiful, and 224 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 2: it was like so when you really think about it, 225 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,119 Speaker 2: it's if some of those people are subjective, you ask them, 226 00:11:11,119 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 2: do you think you were born to be a model. 227 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 2: There's some women right now who are like, no, it 228 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 2: disgusts me that people tried to force me into it 229 00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:17,719 Speaker 2: because I looked a certain way and had cheekbones a 230 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 2: certain way. And then there are some women who are like, yeah, 231 00:11:20,239 --> 00:11:22,479 Speaker 2: I realized I had cool cheekbones. I immediately got into 232 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 2: it and it changed my whole life, and I'm so 233 00:11:23,839 --> 00:11:25,079 Speaker 2: grateful I got in a modeling. 234 00:11:25,239 --> 00:11:28,199 Speaker 1: But the question then is if you don't think that 235 00:11:28,239 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 1: you were given some special spark. 236 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,959 Speaker 2: No, no, but okay, that's a different that's a different work. 237 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 2: A special spark is different than saying like an extraordinary gift, 238 00:11:38,079 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 2: Like a spark is just like when you naturally watch 239 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 2: a kid go play with the easy bake oven, and 240 00:11:44,719 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 2: then the next progression is that kid like is always 241 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,079 Speaker 2: in the kitchen wanting to bake stuff. It never surprises 242 00:11:50,079 --> 00:11:51,999 Speaker 2: me when they end up being great cooks. You know 243 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 2: what I mean? Because there was an early spark, like 244 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,319 Speaker 2: you've seen it early, I'm. 245 00:11:55,119 --> 00:11:59,599 Speaker 1: Always see your easy bike oven poetry. 246 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,319 Speaker 2: And then then I realized, and right after I started 247 00:12:02,319 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 2: doing poetry, I didn't think I could sing, so I 248 00:12:04,359 --> 00:12:06,439 Speaker 2: never thought I would pair back to the no music talent. 249 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,439 Speaker 2: Not only could I not sing and sounded so bad 250 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 2: singing that my father described our family singing together as 251 00:12:13,319 --> 00:12:17,559 Speaker 2: drunk alley cats, and he would specifically tell me I 252 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,599 Speaker 2: was the worst of the drunk alley cats. That's how 253 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 2: bad of a singer I was. So then hip hop 254 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 2: hit the scene in the nineties, and all of a sudden, 255 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 2: I could find a way to turn these words that 256 00:12:26,839 --> 00:12:29,519 Speaker 2: I wrote poetry into rhythmic form where it didn't require singing, 257 00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:31,879 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So that's kind of where 258 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,199 Speaker 2: I started finding it. But I leaned into it early, 259 00:12:34,239 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 2: but even like the into the music part of it, 260 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,359 Speaker 2: Like I didn't learn the theory of music until I 261 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 2: was thirty five. 262 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: But when you were in jail, is that when the 263 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 1: that spark was ignited or it was a pathway to 264 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 1: even a minute amount of freedom. 265 00:12:50,199 --> 00:12:52,199 Speaker 2: I think the spark was always lit because when I 266 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,439 Speaker 2: was young and I would write my little raps, like 267 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,839 Speaker 2: I got acknowledged for it. And that was the first 268 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 2: thing for sure. The first time recorded at a studio, 269 00:13:00,839 --> 00:13:04,839 Speaker 2: when A cocking a big body down South, it was 270 00:13:04,839 --> 00:13:07,759 Speaker 2: Bernard slow stand smoked down. I'm in a Chevy and 271 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 2: I rad clean, I'm wiping sticky all my dickt from 272 00:13:10,319 --> 00:13:13,279 Speaker 2: the light green, because you know, you'd always get the 273 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 2: weed on your pants. 274 00:13:14,079 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 275 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 2: But I was like fifteen, and I went and recorded 276 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 2: that at a studio, and even then I didn't I 277 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 2: just I never I don't know, it's just I always 278 00:13:22,319 --> 00:13:25,199 Speaker 2: loved that because I realized that was the first thing. 279 00:13:25,199 --> 00:13:27,479 Speaker 2: I realized that you could be rewarded publicly for the 280 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 2: work you put in privately. And when that happened, yeah, 281 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:36,599 Speaker 2: because most of the time, kids only recognize the stuff 282 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 2: they do. They don't correlate that they had to do 283 00:13:38,439 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 2: a lot of work privately for this to be received 284 00:13:40,439 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 2: so good publicly, so they just do the thing publicly 285 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 2: to fail and then people to kind of it never works. 286 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,839 Speaker 2: So it was the first time that I remember, like 287 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 2: I would work really hard getting my stuff together in 288 00:13:51,319 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 2: my head, and then I would go to the lunch 289 00:13:52,839 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 2: table the next day to rap with all the guys, 290 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,080 Speaker 2: and I was prepared, you know what I mean, and 291 00:13:57,079 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 2: that everybody was cheering for me, but I was knowing 292 00:13:59,199 --> 00:14:00,959 Speaker 2: that I was just working harder than everybody else. I 293 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: knew that. When I left the lunch room, them dudes 294 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,479 Speaker 2: went home and just hung out with their brothers and sis. 295 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,759 Speaker 2: But I went and stood in the mirror all night 296 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 2: long and wrote raps and wrapped them to myself and 297 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 2: got ready for what my next day would be. 298 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 1: Okay, did it feel like work or did it just 299 00:14:13,959 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 1: feel like No. 300 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,239 Speaker 2: I don't feel like I still don't feel like. Yeah, 301 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 2: it's the best part. Every now and then it feels 302 00:14:18,599 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 2: like work. Like the traveling. I feel more at work 303 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 2: when I'm traveling. Like I spend six to eight hours 304 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,519 Speaker 2: a day in cars or planes almost at three hundred 305 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 2: days a year, so that's the work part. It's like 306 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 2: when you spend six of twenty four hours every day 307 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 2: just transiting to the next thing, you're just kind of 308 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 2: like over that. 309 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 1: Stay with us. There's more jelly roll coming up. What 310 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 1: do you do when you're traveling? So what do you 311 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: do with the mind? 312 00:14:54,479 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 2: Oh, it's a bad week to ask them. I'm following 313 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 2: them so horrible. Yeah, I'm doing the worst mentally I've 314 00:14:58,720 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 2: done in a long time. 315 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 1: Why do you think because you're away from. 316 00:15:02,239 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 2: I'm really far from home, and it's really hitting me 317 00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 2: that I'm really far from home, like in an anxious 318 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 2: way that and uh, probably this is no filter, right, yeah, 319 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:16,119 Speaker 2: no filter? This trip over here fucked my stomach up. 320 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 2: And I mean it fucked my stomach up in a 321 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 2: way that my stomach hasn't been fucked up in a 322 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 2: year or two. Like, I just can't get out of it. 323 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 1: Dude, And you've had you have stomach issues, you. 324 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 2: I naturally have an uneasy stomach. 325 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:28,879 Speaker 1: Yeah. 326 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 2: So then like, and I don't know about any I'm 327 00:15:31,359 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 2: learning this people that are older like me feel this way. 328 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 2: Is that when my stomach's not right, nothing's right, my 329 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 2: mind's not right everything. I'm just not thinking clear. All 330 00:15:41,239 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 2: I'm thinking about right now is why does my stomach 331 00:15:43,119 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 2: feel like this? The whole time we're talking right now, 332 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 2: It's what I'm thinking About'm like, why does my stomach 333 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 2: feel this way? Is it gonna feel any better before 334 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 2: I go on the stage or am I gonna have 335 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 2: to ship myself on stage? You know what I mean? Like, 336 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 2: it's just this scary thing. I'm like really dealing with it. Man. 337 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 2: I've had to fight the demon a flying home a 338 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 2: few times. 339 00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: You know, flight attendants have a big stomach thing because 340 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: when you fly, you know how you. 341 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 2: Like a bag of cheap It's bad for us, It's 342 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 2: so bad for us. It's so bad. 343 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 1: That's what's happened. And so flight attendants like famously have issues, 344 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,519 Speaker 1: have stock issues all the time. So you got to 345 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: get the air out. 346 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 2: You know what it is. It's just the air, you 347 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 2: know exactly what. But the problem is that air pressure 348 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 2: when it sits against that rectum. You spend the whole 349 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: day thinking you're fixing the shit yourself and really you're 350 00:16:28,359 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 2: just waiting for your body to relax enough to fart. 351 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 2: Welcome to no filter podcasts ever about it? 352 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,280 Speaker 1: You know what I meant that to me? Yeah? I 353 00:16:37,359 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: love it. 354 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 2: So I learned from having to do a lot of 355 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 2: like breathing and talking myself through this thing. And I'm 356 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 2: also because of the way the tour set up in 357 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 2: this country with no tour buses, I'm like having to 358 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,359 Speaker 2: be super isolated. I don't like it. I'm like spending 359 00:16:53,359 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 2: a lot of time in my hotel room by myself, 360 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,879 Speaker 2: just in my head. It's just I don't like I'm 361 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 2: not having fun. Man, I want to go home. 362 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 1: And is it the family connection as well? 363 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 2: I missed my family a time. But like you, when 364 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 2: you don't feel well, you just naturally, like everybody wants 365 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 2: to go home when they're sick, like that's just us, 366 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,360 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like it's something inside of you. 367 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 2: It's like even when you're at the hospital sick, you're 368 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,359 Speaker 2: at the safest place in the world, and you're thinking, 369 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,720 Speaker 2: I just want to go home, you know what I'm saying. 370 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,439 Speaker 2: So it's like, I just don't feel good, so I 371 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 2: just want to go home. 372 00:17:23,679 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: But also because you have part of the aspect of 373 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: you is that you have such responsibility to the people 374 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: who have come to you and shared your story and 375 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,159 Speaker 1: love you and who take away a lot from you. 376 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 1: That must mean that it's not an option to you 377 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,119 Speaker 1: to not go on shitting pants or not shitting pants. 378 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 1: You're going on. 379 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 2: Going on stage and I might ship my pants or 380 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,920 Speaker 2: you know what the says for gas now that we've 381 00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 2: talked about is that's the worst problem. I won't shit 382 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 2: my pants because I'm gonna have the gas pressure won't 383 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 2: go that easy anyways. It if I run off stage 384 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:57,759 Speaker 2: and run into the bathroom, I'm gonna sit in there 385 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 2: for seven minutes and maybe get up and then run 386 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 2: back up to the say and be like, God, maybe 387 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 2: that's enough to get me through, you know what I mean, 388 00:18:03,919 --> 00:18:05,759 Speaker 2: It's been bad being able to talk about it right now? 389 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:06,719 Speaker 2: Is actually make me feel of it? 390 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,479 Speaker 1: Do you have what? So you've got a physio, but 391 00:18:09,679 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 1: is there someone who deals with that aspect of things? 392 00:18:12,879 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 1: Was Have you had a colony? 393 00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 2: Dude? I had when I was just bad once before. 394 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 2: I went to get a colonic. Yeah, and it didn't 395 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,439 Speaker 2: work for me. I was so bad that this one was. 396 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: The first, of course, because the first. 397 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 2: One you're always shure it. This is the worst shape ever. 398 00:18:27,919 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 2: Of course, in the first she couldn't get anything. 399 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,279 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what you're into in your 400 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 1: personal life. 401 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 2: I'm not into it. Yeah, that's no, it's traumati. I 402 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:36,719 Speaker 2: had a dude stick his finger up my butt the 403 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 2: other day, a doctor out here to make sure I 404 00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 2: wasn't compacted because I was so constipated in the flight 405 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 2: and so gassy, and like even then, I still haven't 406 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 2: got over it. I fucking feel so bad and weird 407 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 2: about it and dilated and just I'm. 408 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 1: Just gonna say it's worth giving it another shot. 409 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 2: I am not letting nobody put water more air up 410 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 2: my butt, not right now. I just want to go 411 00:18:55,879 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 2: home and pray and just let Jesus heal Jesus will heal. 412 00:18:58,919 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 2: You just got to give them time. I just need 413 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:01,120 Speaker 2: some Jesus. 414 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: That is there is also that, yeah, but sometimes some 415 00:19:04,919 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 1: warm water and some magnesium salts. Jesus said them as well. 416 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 2: I'm walking around with warm water right now. You know, 417 00:19:12,639 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 2: I'm drinking a warm limbit water. That's how desperate. 418 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: That's very good. 419 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,719 Speaker 2: No, why do you know so much about gas? 420 00:19:21,919 --> 00:19:26,119 Speaker 1: Because I get colonics. I think that's why how often 421 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: I've sort of fallen off the perch a bit. But 422 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,440 Speaker 1: for a while, when I was really in a good rhythm, 423 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 1: I was going like once a week for six six 424 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,439 Speaker 1: weeks before really, Yeah, I got to know the lady 425 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 1: very well and she got and I swear by them, 426 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 1: though I haven't had one this year, but I swear 427 00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 1: by them because I do think that connection. You know, 428 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: we're talking about the connectedness of everything. The gut, the brain, 429 00:19:55,159 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 1: the heart, the soul, it is all stricably linked. But 430 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: I did have to get over the fact that I'd 431 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 1: like to get a tattoo that says eggsit on my 432 00:20:05,399 --> 00:20:07,239 Speaker 1: tramp stamp. I had to get over that. 433 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 2: Because you now have let ters. 434 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 1: I had an entrance, someone's got an access hill areas past. 435 00:20:16,399 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 2: Is it just the colonical ladies? 436 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:19,600 Speaker 1: To that? 437 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 2: I think you said someone like It wasn't just a 438 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,400 Speaker 2: colonical lady though, you said someone like there's a guy 439 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 2: named Dale that nobody knows who they were. 440 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 1: You wouldn't know who they were, neither would you tell me. 441 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 2: Let's shore, let's get deep here. 442 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,959 Speaker 1: It's yeah, and in fact so much so that she's 443 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 1: gone back to live overseas, has done the part. No, no, 444 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 1: but she wants did lady die? 445 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,160 Speaker 2: Really? Yeah, she should come on your pod and talk 446 00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 2: about yours into the relationship. 447 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: You know what, people are going to kill me if 448 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: I don't ask you something other than about your intestine. 449 00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 2: Okay, I can't having so much fun? 450 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it, good conversation. 451 00:20:58,399 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 2: Well why not? 452 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: I say to my kids, I've got four kids. I say, 453 00:21:01,399 --> 00:21:05,519 Speaker 1: don't disrespect small talk. Without small talk, there'd be no 454 00:21:05,679 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 1: talk for amen. 455 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,680 Speaker 2: Yeah? Amen, Amen. 456 00:21:13,399 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 1: You're listening to no Filter more with jelly roll after 457 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: this short break. So you got that you knew that 458 00:21:25,159 --> 00:21:28,959 Speaker 1: you had the power of music in you. Was that 459 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: the power of music for you personally or was it 460 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,399 Speaker 1: an external power? 461 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,159 Speaker 2: I think that I found music in a way that 462 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 2: it was presented to me as a cathartic thing. So 463 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,399 Speaker 2: like when my mother presented music to us, it was 464 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 2: like watching a movie that nobody talked through, and you 465 00:21:48,679 --> 00:21:50,959 Speaker 2: listen intently and then you discussed. 466 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 1: Right, so, and was your mother the one who brought 467 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 1: the music? So she struggled with her own? 468 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, she break out a record depression, Yeah, play economy, 469 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 2: storytelling songs she loved, like really deep cut, it's like 470 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 2: painful music. It showed me a lot about her soul, right, 471 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? 472 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,199 Speaker 1: Did you know even as a kid that she was 473 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: showing you that or you recognize it. 474 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,919 Speaker 2: You recognized that she was a darker, sadder soul, but 475 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 2: you didn't recognize the music. In fact, you thought the 476 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,560 Speaker 2: music was bringing her out of it. Then later you 477 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,360 Speaker 2: look back at her song selection, you're like, oh, she. 478 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,999 Speaker 1: Was crying for help, might and who could have helped her? 479 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 2: Well, that's you know. I'll tell you. Who couldn't help 480 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,239 Speaker 2: her was the children. It's never a child's job to 481 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,160 Speaker 2: help people, never in any situation at all. In anybody 482 00:22:36,159 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 2: out there watching this that feels that pressure, it's not right. 483 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 1: But as a child, you knew that things were right. Yeah, 484 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 1: But you didn't know how to make them right. 485 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 2: For sure, or you try, or you think you're making 486 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 2: them right. You think you're having a bigger impact on 487 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 2: the making things of right or wrong than you. Actually, 488 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,600 Speaker 2: that's another thing that happens to kids. That's why it's 489 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,039 Speaker 2: important to tell children that that's not their responsibility, because 490 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 2: then at times they have this other thing that happens 491 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 2: where they feel like they tried really hard to get 492 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,680 Speaker 2: their parent out of a dark place. And so then 493 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 2: you have a child that already feels like a failure 494 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,120 Speaker 2: in life before they've even had a chance to prove 495 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,199 Speaker 2: they're not a life. They feel like a failure in 496 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:11,720 Speaker 2: their own home. 497 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,640 Speaker 1: And of course you were in that cycle as well. 498 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 2: Well. I was, because yeah, for sure, well I think so. 499 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,119 Speaker 2: I mean I had four or five older brothers. I 500 00:23:19,159 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 2: was pretty shielded from it and an older sister, so 501 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,439 Speaker 2: lucky for me, I was like super protected. I didn't 502 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 2: realize what it was until way after, because you know, 503 00:23:27,399 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 2: the way I looked at it, I just had a 504 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:32,159 Speaker 2: big family to love me for me. But that also 505 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 2: goes back to this term that four people can grow 506 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 2: up in the same house and have four different stories. Yes, 507 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,120 Speaker 2: and as four different experience. 508 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 1: And four different sets of parents. For sure, everyone gets 509 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: parented differently. 510 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:43,199 Speaker 2: For sure. 511 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,719 Speaker 1: But then I'm really curious about when the moment was. 512 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: If there was a moment where you, as a like 513 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:56,919 Speaker 1: mid twenties, maybe after this period of incarceration that was 514 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:01,959 Speaker 1: leading down like the that's the path to destruction. Yeah, 515 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: what happened? What was the glen? What was the light? 516 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,199 Speaker 1: What was even like a chink under the door that 517 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,439 Speaker 1: made you head down the path of music as salvation. 518 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 2: I think it was like this really cool thing of 519 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 2: being able to narrate stories and being able to tell 520 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 2: people what I thought was happening or like, I don't know, 521 00:24:22,159 --> 00:24:26,999 Speaker 2: it just felt really therapeutic to me, you know. And 522 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:28,639 Speaker 2: at that moment, I was like, oh, no, this is 523 00:24:28,639 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 2: connecting bigger than me, Like this our this is becoming 524 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,719 Speaker 2: our story. I was so hyper focused on telling my story, 525 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:36,439 Speaker 2: you know what I mean that I didn't realize how 526 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 2: powerful our story was becoming. 527 00:24:37,879 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: And then at some stage that pivoted it turns. 528 00:24:39,919 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 2: An hour story and you're like, oh, yeah, now I'm 529 00:24:41,639 --> 00:24:43,879 Speaker 2: telling mostly their story. Like I've kind of tried to 530 00:24:43,879 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 2: move myself out of it as far as I can 531 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,119 Speaker 2: from even as a songwriter. Now it's like trying to 532 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,159 Speaker 2: find my muse and what's happening in front of the 533 00:24:50,159 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 2: stage instead of what's happening behind it. 534 00:24:51,679 --> 00:24:54,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's not so much about what was your 535 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 1: personal pain, but it's more about how to move through 536 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 1: pain into a more into the light. 537 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 2: Really right, Yeah, yeah, absolutely? 538 00:25:05,919 --> 00:25:09,719 Speaker 1: And what part I know you've spoken very beautifully and 539 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,479 Speaker 1: I know our listeners will love this about Bunny. The 540 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: moment when somebody sees you and sees all of you 541 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,679 Speaker 1: and loves all of you is I think one of 542 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,479 Speaker 1: the most powerful experiences that you can ever have in 543 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,679 Speaker 1: your life. When when did you step into that? Because 544 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 1: before that, I gather you've been a bit of a player. 545 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely was a rambling man. Just finding a woman 546 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 2: that set my soul on fire. Just truly finding somebody 547 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,959 Speaker 2: that I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that 548 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 2: I want to spend forever with and I'm willing to 549 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 2: go through whatever it takes and work through it. Whenever 550 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,640 Speaker 2: I started to rush to repair stuff as quick as 551 00:25:51,639 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 2: I used to rush to leave, that's when I knew 552 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,560 Speaker 2: I'd found a different person. I was always like looking 553 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 2: for the first reason to go, you know what I mean, 554 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 2: even if I created the reason to go, like I 555 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,360 Speaker 2: was okay with just whatever was the. 556 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,959 Speaker 1: Re pick the fight so that then you can I'll. 557 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 2: Start to fight so I can leave and do what 558 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 2: I want and super unhealthy, very selfish way to live life. 559 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,440 Speaker 2: And when I found a relationship that I rushed to repair. 560 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 1: You know what I mean, that's the difference. 561 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was that was when it all started. 562 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:25,399 Speaker 1: Because she also came from like such a troubled past. 563 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: You know, I saw her beautiful posts that she did 564 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 1: ages go about her mom, about her first dinner that 565 00:26:32,879 --> 00:26:36,199 Speaker 1: she ever got to have with her mom y thirties. Yeah, 566 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,519 Speaker 1: which was also her last dinner she ever got to 567 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:42,640 Speaker 1: have with her mom. Yeah, that's extraordinary. And sometimes when 568 00:26:42,679 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 1: people both have got dings and dents and they don't 569 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,600 Speaker 1: fit together, and yet you two found something that fitted 570 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,560 Speaker 1: so beautifully. 571 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, it was like what appeared to be two 572 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 2: completely broken pieces were actually meant for each other the 573 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 2: whole time. Every other puzzle board, it looked like we 574 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 2: didn't blow. 575 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,959 Speaker 1: You know, the Dutch, Dad's Dutch and the Dutch. You've 576 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:10,639 Speaker 1: got a saying for everything, but this one is there's 577 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 1: no pot so crooked. There isn't a lead somewhere in 578 00:27:14,879 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 1: the world to fit it. Oo, isn't it good? 579 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,999 Speaker 2: A cooler way to say than there's somebody for everybody? 580 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,440 Speaker 2: Do we have my cup with that water, y'all? 581 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, he needs a lemon water. 582 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,359 Speaker 2: Don't even have to be the lemon. I just I 583 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:26,999 Speaker 2: left it, just that black cup in my dressing room. 584 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,679 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, y'all. I hate to interrupt the pod for it, 585 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 2: but I'm like, I've only got so much more time 586 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:31,160 Speaker 2: I can drink before the show. 587 00:27:31,159 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 1: And I know what time are you on stage? Two minutes? 588 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 1: Two minutes. I'm gonna I'm gonna suck you dry. 589 00:27:39,919 --> 00:27:41,119 Speaker 2: Oh no, here we go. 590 00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 1: We didn't be with your wife's permission. 591 00:27:44,399 --> 00:27:46,399 Speaker 2: Of course, she'd be the first one to granted to you. 592 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,480 Speaker 2: By the way, she's an absolute lunatic. 593 00:27:50,159 --> 00:27:54,999 Speaker 1: When you transition, we were talking earlier about how you know, 594 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,639 Speaker 1: you work through the problems of the past. That is work. 595 00:27:58,679 --> 00:28:03,239 Speaker 1: But now you are in a position where you have 596 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:08,480 Speaker 1: different problems. Aside from the gas which is a problem, 597 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:13,439 Speaker 1: you have a team, you have responsibilities, You have a 598 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:18,479 Speaker 1: teenage daughter who led you, in fact, interestingly back to 599 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:23,639 Speaker 1: your faith yes, at the same age as you were incarcerated. 600 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 1: You were baptized and incarcerated in the same year she 601 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,720 Speaker 1: wanted to get baptized, also. 602 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 2: The exact same age. 603 00:28:31,639 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 1: How was that process? 604 00:28:35,679 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 2: I would say Bailey has single handedly impacted my life 605 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,560 Speaker 2: probably more than any other individual, my daughter except fix 606 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 2: up for my wife, her and my wife, not even 607 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 2: just from getting custody over in the part of being 608 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 2: a father, but like watching her girl in her faith, 609 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 2: watching her unapologetically find out who she is, watching her 610 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 2: go through all the high school girl drama, you know 611 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 2: what I mean, Like just watching her come through all 612 00:28:55,840 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 2: this stuff is like it's been special girl dads man, girl, girls. 613 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 1: And dads and boys and mums. 614 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 2: Man. 615 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 1: What do the kids know about past, Jelly, present, jelly future? 616 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 2: Jelly son is nine, he doesn't know a lot, so 617 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,999 Speaker 2: he's really he's going to grow up and see a 618 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 2: whole different thing than Bailey sing. Bailey knows it all. 619 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 2: So you know, she's seventeen and we've had real talks 620 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 2: and obviously we got custody of her when her mother 621 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 2: disappeared from her life and got incarcerated, so she's kind 622 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 2: of from day one. We had to kind of explain to. 623 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:34,479 Speaker 1: Her what it was, which Bunny took on so effortlessly. 624 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 2: Bunny walked right in, rolled her sleeves up. It was like, 625 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 2: I'm here to help. It's kind of that easy. She 626 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 2: didn't have an actual agenda. She just had a spirit 627 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 2: to help and. 628 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: Is the next calling. I know you've both spoken about 629 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,759 Speaker 1: wanting to have a baby. Yes, how's the blessings on 630 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 1: that going? 631 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 2: We are working Thanks for asking by It means a lot. 632 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 2: We are working hard on it. It's a big journey, 633 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 2: so we got to kind of pray it through. You know. 634 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 2: It's definitely a bigger of an undertaking than I anticipated. 635 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And it's one of those things that sometimes 636 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,760 Speaker 1: when it's eluding you, it feels impossible, but you, of 637 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: all people, know the impossible is possible. 638 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 2: Amen. Yeah, through God all things, this is, this is 639 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,400 Speaker 2: all small. Well, God, this is easy stuff. 640 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,080 Speaker 1: Jelly roll. I cannot keep you from your people. 641 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm excited. I can tell it's getting closer 642 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 2: to show. My bombs get sweaty, or I get more 643 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,320 Speaker 2: nervous and a little more. I feel it's like it's 644 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 2: like a biological clock that starts getting super anxious it's 645 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,759 Speaker 2: the calling, it's the column. 646 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Thanks for letting 647 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,000 Speaker 1: me come No Filter, and thank you for your service. 648 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,920 Speaker 2: Of course, thank you. 649 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 1: So. Jelly Roll's story feels impossible until you hear him 650 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,480 Speaker 1: tell it. A boy who once thought he'd never get 651 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:55,719 Speaker 1: out of jail is now raising kids, loving his wife, 652 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 1: out loud and proud, using his fame to help other 653 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: people climb out of the same darkness that he found 654 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:07,479 Speaker 1: himself in. It's the kind of redemption arc that reminds 655 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 1: you that change doesn't happen in one big moment. It 656 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 1: happens in one thousand tiny choices to do better. I 657 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: love him, I love jelly Roll. I'd like to have 658 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: him with coffee. Thanks for listening to No Filter. The 659 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 1: executive producer of No Filter is Nama Brown, the senior 660 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 1: producer is bre Player. Audio production is by Tina Mattalov, 661 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 1: and video editing is by Josh Green. This episode was 662 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 1: recorded backstage at Home Bush Stadium. I'm your host Kate 663 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: Lanebrook and I will see you next Monday. Muma Mia 664 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,520 Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters that 665 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: this podcast is recorded on