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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mea podcast. Momma Mea acknowledges

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Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast

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Speaker 1: is recorded on.

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Speaker 2: Hey QUICKI Friends Taylor dropping into your feed this East

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Speaker 2: long weekend with another listening wracko. Today we're heading into

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Speaker 2: the No Filter archives to revisit this delicious conversation between

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Speaker 2: Mia Friedman and Nicki Boyer. If you're thinking, why does

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Speaker 2: that name sound familiar, maybe you've heard it while watching

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Speaker 2: Dying for Sex, The brand new TV series out now

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Speaker 2: on Disney Plus, is based on a true story. A

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Speaker 2: true story of two best friends, Molly and Nicki. After

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Speaker 2: Molly is diagnosed with terminal cancer, she decides to reclaim

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Speaker 2: her sexuality.

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Speaker 1: Before she dies.

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Speaker 2: All of this with her best friend Nicki by her side,

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Speaker 2: supporting her whilst on their journey. The two made a

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Speaker 2: hit podcast by the same name, and it's now that

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Speaker 2: TV show you've either already seen your group chat can't

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Speaker 2: stop talking about, or you're about to set aside the

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Speaker 2: rest of this long weekend to watch it too, So

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Speaker 2: that leads us to this listening rereco Back in twenty twenty,

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Speaker 2: Mea Friedman sat down with the real Nikky to talk

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Speaker 2: about her incredible friendship with Molly, their wild adventures, and

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Speaker 2: the heartbreak of losing a friend. So settle in for

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Speaker 2: this special EPP from the No Filter Archives.

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Speaker 3: This is an episode about the epic friendship between two women,

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Speaker 3: one that transcends marriages and divorce and miscarriage and sex,

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Speaker 3: so much sex, and ends in the most poignant, tragic,

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Speaker 3: and beautiful way. Hi. Hi, how are you, my love?

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Speaker 4: I'm so good?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, good, we talk to you.

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Speaker 4: It's so nice to see you. Okay, I don't have

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Speaker 4: to do anything. I'm not used to not being in charge.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I just tell me about it. It's a

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Speaker 1: podcast host off.

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Speaker 3: It starts when your best friend, your person, gets a

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Speaker 3: life changing diagnosis. She's forty one and she's married, but

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Speaker 3: instead of living out the life that she's built, she

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Speaker 3: decides to leave her fifteen year marriage so she can

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Speaker 3: go and have hot and sometimes kinky sex with strangers,

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Speaker 3: dozens and dozens of them. What do you do? Do

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Speaker 3: you judge her, encourage her? Do you support her? Or

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Speaker 3: do you distance yourself? Maybe help her pick up guys? Well,

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Speaker 3: if you're my guest today, you make a hit podcast

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Speaker 3: with her.

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Speaker 5: So his hand was there, and I was like, I

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Speaker 5: know that.

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Speaker 1: Let it's going. Yeah, I know where it's going, and

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Speaker 1: you were okay with it.

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Speaker 5: I was okay with it and like but I but

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Speaker 5: at one point I was like, I need to acknowledge

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Speaker 5: that I know that he knows that I know that

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Speaker 5: we all know.

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Speaker 4: What's going on.

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Speaker 5: So I go and I sounded like a Prepyverson boy.

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Speaker 5: I was like, no, I'm not expecting this, you know.

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Speaker 1: Like I think, boy anymore.

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Speaker 3: For Mama Maya, I'm me a Friedman And you're listening

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Speaker 3: to No Filter, a weekly interview podcast with people who

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Speaker 3: tell their stories very candidly and who aren't afraid to

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Speaker 3: be all kinds of vulnerable. Today, I'm speaking to someone

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Speaker 3: who really is the epitome of candid and vulnerable in

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Speaker 3: our conversation.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Nicky Boyer.

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Speaker 3: She's an actress, and she is the voice and the

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Speaker 3: host of the cult podcast Dying for Sex. It's a

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Speaker 3: six part series that follows the story of Molly, who

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Speaker 3: is Nicky's best friend, who was dealing with that age

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Speaker 3: old question what do you do with the time that

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Speaker 3: you have left? Nicki and Molly's friendship celebrates life from

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Speaker 3: hilarious sex stories.

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Speaker 4: Dates at six in the morning, dates at two in

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Speaker 4: the morning, dates at nine am noon, one at six pm.

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Speaker 1: To dealing with the loss of your person.

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Speaker 4: I mess her and wheeze that I didn't even think

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Speaker 4: were possible.

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Speaker 3: Here is my beautiful conversation with Nicky Boyer. NICKI, how

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Speaker 3: did you and Molly meet?

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Speaker 4: Molly and I met, oh gosh, twenty something years ago

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Speaker 4: in an acting class in Los Angeles, and we met

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Speaker 4: in a dirty little studio. I don't want to say dirty,

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Speaker 4: It was kind of dirty. It was dark, and you

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Speaker 4: know that smell that a theater has where it hasn't

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Speaker 4: probably really properly been cleaned in quite a long time,

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Speaker 4: but it's got that musty smell to it. And so

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Speaker 4: we met in a studio for an acting class that

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Speaker 4: was on Melrose Avenue, which is where everybody wanted to

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Speaker 4: go to acting class. So that's where we met, in

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Speaker 4: a studio, dark, dark way.

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Speaker 3: Where were you both fat in your lives when you met?

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Speaker 3: And did you hit it off straight away or was

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Speaker 3: it like a slow burn friendship?

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Speaker 4: She hated me when she met me. She couldn't stand me.

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Speaker 4: I thought she was sweet and kind and who's that

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Speaker 4: girl that She looked at me, like, who's that girl

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Speaker 4: seeking all the attention in the room, And I'm like,

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Speaker 4: of course that's me. I had just moved to La.

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Speaker 4: Of course I literally parked my car, got here and

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Speaker 4: signed up for an acting class because I was such

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Speaker 4: an overzealous type a and Mollie had I think it

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Speaker 4: been here for maybe a year and decided to embark

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Speaker 4: on an acting class and see what that did for her.

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Speaker 4: And it's a slow burn we you know, I have

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Speaker 4: to say, I have to thank the teacher that paired

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Speaker 4: us up in a scene. You know, scene study and

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Speaker 4: acting class that give you a scene, you go work

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Speaker 4: on it and you bring it back. And if that woman, Heidi,

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Speaker 4: wouldn't have paired Molly and myself up in the scene,

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Speaker 4: I don't know if I'd be telling the story today

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Speaker 4: because we wouldn't have naturally gravitated to each other. So

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Speaker 4: that scene sort of forced us into working together, communicating,

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Speaker 4: and then I'll never forget the moment I realized that

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Speaker 4: we were kind of cut from the same cloth, as

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Speaker 4: we had a little inside joke going on, and it

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Speaker 4: went on and on to the point where it was

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Speaker 4: obnoxious and annoying, and I was like, oh, she's my people,

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Speaker 4: and so that's how it came about.

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Speaker 1: Did you both want to be actors?

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Speaker 3: Then?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we both did. She got over it very quickly.

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Speaker 4: I think after like the seventh or eighth class she

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Speaker 4: was like, Okay, that's enough for me. I got bit

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Speaker 4: by the bug, and I still to this day I

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Speaker 4: still do acting.

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Speaker 1: How old were you both at the time.

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Speaker 4: I was twenty two and she was twenty three. I

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Speaker 4: think so at the time I felt very well seasoned

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Speaker 4: and smart and ready. And I looked back and I'm

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Speaker 4: like we were infants, Like our brains weren't even fully developed yet,

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Speaker 4: but we were. Yeah, we were in our very early

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Speaker 4: twenties and very wide eyed and ready for whatever.

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Speaker 3: And you know how when you meet someone and there's

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Speaker 3: that platonic chemistry and there's banter, and you sort of

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Speaker 3: go in dates in terms of, you know, do you

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Speaker 3: want to grab a drink or do you want to

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Speaker 3: have dinner? How long did it take your friendship to

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Speaker 3: develop until you were kind of each other's person?

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Speaker 4: Ooh God, that's a great question. I would say not long.

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Speaker 4: So after we did that scene together and I got

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Speaker 4: to sort of see where she lived, and she saw

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Speaker 4: where I lived. She very quickly became a staple in

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Speaker 4: my life. I was working at the time, I was

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Speaker 4: waiting tables and trying to find you go to auditions,

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Speaker 4: and I was a very aggressive, like I got to

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Speaker 4: get things done. Mollie was a little more chill and relaxed, right,

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Speaker 4: so she had a lot of free time. So she said,

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Speaker 4: let's have lunch. And we'd have lunch and she'd say, well,

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Speaker 4: then can I come to your audition with you? And

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Speaker 4: she'd ride in the car with me and we'd go

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Speaker 4: to the audition and she'd say, well, do you want

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Speaker 4: to have coffee after? And I'd be like, this is amazing.

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Speaker 4: I've got I've got like a partner with me in

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Speaker 4: my car all day that's willing to go run Errand's.

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Speaker 4: And she just wanted companionship and to be with me,

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Speaker 4: and I had a lot going on, so she was

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Speaker 4: like this perfect fit. So very quickly we became each

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Speaker 4: other's person and started to have a shorthand and an understanding.

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Speaker 4: And she was a digger. She'd ask questions and she

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Speaker 4: wanted to know you the dirty, the ugly, the messy

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Speaker 4: parts as well as the beautiful parts, and that was

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Speaker 4: really interesting for me as one of my first friendships

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Speaker 4: in Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: Was she married then?

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Speaker 4: No, she was not. She was single. She was dating

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Speaker 4: a couple of dudes. I was dating a couple of dudes,

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Speaker 4: and I think I had just about met my ex husband.

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Speaker 4: So she's been with me during boyfriends, girlfriends, ex husbands,

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Speaker 4: new boyfriends, step kid like we've been in it for

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Speaker 4: a while together. We had been. I still talk about

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Speaker 4: her like she's still here. You do.

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Speaker 3: It's so interesting, and I want to ask you about

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Speaker 3: that in a minute. But do you remember when she

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Speaker 3: called you after she'd bang to the doctor, or do

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Speaker 3: you remember when she found the lump in her breast?

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Speaker 4: I do remember. It's funny you ask that because I

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Speaker 4: do remember it because we shared the same obigyn and

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Speaker 4: we both thought he was kind of handsome, right, so

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Speaker 4: that's weird. I've never had like a hot obigyn. He

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Speaker 4: ended up being a real douchebag because she did feel

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Speaker 4: something in her breast, and at the time, she didn't

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Speaker 4: even bring it up to me. I think because she

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Speaker 4: trusted him so much that she thought, well, if he

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Speaker 4: is saying this is nothing, and don't worry about it,

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Speaker 4: you don't need a mammogram. Then I think she thought, oh okay,

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Speaker 4: I feel like I got good advice, and so she

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Speaker 4: never really brought it up to me or had a concern.

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Speaker 4: And then, you know, down the line, realizing that she

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Speaker 4: had had breast cancer, that's when we started talking about

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Speaker 4: it and hashing it out and discussing our bad experiences

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Speaker 4: with this particular doctor and how he was really caught

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Speaker 4: up in sort of the Hollywood scene instead of being

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Speaker 4: caught up with the well being of his patients.

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Speaker 3: She writes about that in her book when she says

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Speaker 3: he was very dismissive when she said she had a

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Speaker 3: lump and said, you're too young to have breast catcer.

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Speaker 1: Don't be silly. How old was she?

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Speaker 4: I want to say she was, oh gosh, thirty two,

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Speaker 4: thirty two at the time. I might be wrong. Sometimes

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Speaker 4: I get the dates a little more, but it was

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Speaker 4: around that early thirties time, and you know, we talked

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Speaker 4: about it a lot of why didn't she just trust

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Speaker 4: her own gut, Why didn't she go get a mammogram?

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Speaker 4: Why didn't she request a second opinion? But I think

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Speaker 4: you'll gather if you read her book, and you understand

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Speaker 4: her she really trusted people that she felt like had

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Speaker 4: an authority in her life and had sort of kind

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Speaker 4: of got lost in that dynamic sometimes and trusting sort

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Speaker 4: of the male in her life that's telling her this

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Speaker 4: is fine, this is okay. And I didn't really fully

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Speaker 4: grasp that until after I spent time with her book

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Speaker 4: that she just struggled sometimes finding her voice and sticking

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Speaker 4: up for herself, especially when you're thirty two and your

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Speaker 4: doctor says, don't worry about it. I mean literally said

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Speaker 4: you're too young for breast cancer. So every time I

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Speaker 4: tell the story, if you're out there and you're listening,

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Speaker 4: please please get a mammogram, even if you don't have

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Speaker 4: any sign. It's early detection is so important. I don't

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Speaker 4: care how old you are. Get a mammogram. Get it

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Speaker 4: every year.

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Speaker 3: Please, And if you find something and your doctor says, oh,

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Speaker 3: don't worry about it, you can still ask for a

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Speaker 3: screening test. You can still say no, you know what.

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Speaker 3: Just to keep my mind at rest, I'd like to

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Speaker 3: get an ultrasounder. I'd like to get a mammogram. How

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Speaker 3: many years after that was she diagnosed and how did

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Speaker 3: it happen, you know.

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Speaker 4: So she was diagnosed a few years after that, and

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Speaker 4: it was I believe stage three at the time, so

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Speaker 4: it had progressed very quickly within you know, some years.

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Speaker 4: I want to say it was twenty twelve. Gosh, so

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Speaker 4: came back when she called me and said, you know,

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Speaker 4: I have cancer. I just remember not it wasn't computing

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Speaker 4: in my brain, and I remember thinking, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 4: she's going to have such a long road. But I

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Speaker 4: never once thought that she wouldn't beat it. And she did.

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Speaker 4: She had a double mistectomy, she lost all of her hair,

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Speaker 4: she went through chemo hormone treatments, the whole nine yards,

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Speaker 4: and I remember she was very private about it. Nobody

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Speaker 4: knew she had breast cancer. They're a very select amount

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Speaker 4: of people, and so her husband at the time was

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Speaker 4: very much her caretaker and took her to her appointments.

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Speaker 4: And I don't remember being as involved in her diagnosis

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Speaker 4: as I was the second time. But it was really

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Speaker 4: hard to see someone that I just assumed would never

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Speaker 4: get sick or never be ill, or never lose her hair,

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Speaker 4: and to know that it was you know, the trickle

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Speaker 4: of trickle down of what the doctor did was really

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Speaker 4: hard for me to wrap my brain around because I

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Speaker 4: was part of that dynamic. I was, you know, I

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Speaker 4: was still you know, a part of you know, going

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Speaker 4: And I had to tell all of my friends who

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Speaker 4: were going to this particular obgui n like, please all

253
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Speaker 4: of you stop going, like this is not good.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, did she get angry, Yeah.

255
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Speaker 4: She got very angry. In fact, we were trying to

256
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Speaker 4: plot things that we could do to this particular doctor,

257
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Speaker 4: like like really mature things, you know, like egg is

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Speaker 4: home so that it slashes tires, you know, things that

259
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Speaker 4: grown women do. But we did. We did share the

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Speaker 4: story with a lot of people, and he did lose

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Speaker 4: a lot of a lot of patience. But he's still

262
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Speaker 4: practicing and still featured on you know, housewives shows, and

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Speaker 4: he still looked at it as a doctor in Beverly Hills,

264
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Speaker 4: And honestly, it's just it kind of turns my stomach.

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Speaker 4: I hope, I mean, we're all human, we all make mistakes.

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Speaker 4: I hope he's learned from this, and I hope he's

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Speaker 4: saved some lives because he did not do that.

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Speaker 3: For Molly, How did her cancer impact her relationship with

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Speaker 3: her husband? What did she tell you about it during

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Speaker 3: that time.

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Speaker 4: I think it bonded them in the beginning, you know,

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Speaker 4: it glued them together because he was such a caregiver, caretaker.

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Speaker 4: He was really good at organizing, being in charge, facilitating appointments,

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Speaker 4: driving to appointments. They bonded very, very much during that time.

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Speaker 4: I do think that it exacerbated sort of the problems

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Speaker 4: that they were also having, so I think it highlighted

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Speaker 4: the bad and the good within their relationship. But it

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Speaker 4: definitely bonded them and it tethered them together. That I

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Speaker 4: think is what made it so painful when Molly left,

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Speaker 4: because he felt such a bond and so did she.

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Speaker 4: But she was ready for that. She was ready for

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Speaker 4: that to be finished. I know, you know, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to paint him as anything other than just being

284
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Speaker 4: doing the best that he could, but it was she

285
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Speaker 4: could not discover who she was in the context of

286
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Speaker 4: that marriage, and so she got out. Eventually.

287
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Speaker 3: She had a double mistech to me and a breastreate construction.

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Speaker 3: Did she talked to you about how she was feeling

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Speaker 3: about her body and her new breasts and how it

290
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Speaker 3: impacted on her sort of sexuality.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Mollie never liked her boobs. She was always very

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Speaker 4: self conscious. She'd always say, show me your boobs. I

293
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Speaker 4: want to see what good boobs look like, and I

294
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,094
Speaker 4: want boobs like yours.

295
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Speaker 1: So why didn't she like her boobs?

296
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Speaker 4: Yeah, they were let's be talk about Mollie would love

297
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Speaker 4: to know that we were talking about her boobs. She

298
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Speaker 4: would be she would love this right now. She didn't

299
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Speaker 4: like the way they sat on her body, she didn't

300
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Speaker 4: like they were shaped. She thought they were too tiny

301
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Speaker 4: and too small. She was always very self conscious of them.

302
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Speaker 4: And I think she had a lot of self conscious

303
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Speaker 4: issues with her body, the same that I had at

304
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Speaker 4: that age. And I remember she would she would look

305
00:14:57,614 --> 00:14:59,174
Speaker 4: at my boobs and say, oh, my gosh, oh I

306
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Speaker 4: want boobs like that. So when it came down to

307
00:15:01,214 --> 00:15:07,014
Speaker 4: her her double mistectomy and then reconstruction, it was horrible

308
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Speaker 4: on her body, painful, awful, They have to stretch the skin.

309
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Speaker 4: I think her breast reconstruction was one of the first

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Speaker 4: where they actually salvaged her nipples and kept her actual

311
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Speaker 4: nipples intact, So it was kind of an experimental surgery

312
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Speaker 4: and it worked, and her breasts looked amazing when they

313
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Speaker 4: were finished. But the price that she paid to get that.

314
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Speaker 4: She always would joke about it like that. They lobbed

315
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Speaker 4: off every part of her that felt like a woman. Right,

316
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Speaker 4: they took the cancer had taken away her ability to

317
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Speaker 4: have children, which you know, she wanted the choice. I

318
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Speaker 4: don't think she really wanted kids, but she wanted to

319
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Speaker 4: make that choice herself. Yeah, it took away her periods,

320
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Speaker 4: her hormones were all messed up, her limp nodes and

321
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Speaker 4: her breasts, and so I think when they were reconstructed,

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Speaker 4: she did feel a little like Humpty dumpty, right, Like

323
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Speaker 4: she felt like she was putting herself a little bit

324
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Speaker 4: back together and felt very confident in her body, more

325
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Speaker 4: so than I think she had ever felt pre cancer.

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Speaker 1: So how did she choose what size to go?

327
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Speaker 4: She wanted She wanted them to look like mine, which

328
00:16:09,014 --> 00:16:09,654
Speaker 4: is so funny.

329
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Speaker 3: So what size of you did you have to go

330
00:16:12,454 --> 00:16:14,934
Speaker 3: to appointments and say, can you make something like this place?

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Speaker 4: I did. I went to one appointment and I a

332
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Speaker 4: good friend, and uh, you know it's funny that I

333
00:16:22,134 --> 00:16:25,374
Speaker 4: don't have large breasts. I just have very tiny, perky,

334
00:16:25,494 --> 00:16:29,054
Speaker 4: normal breasts. But you know, it's so funny. I've never

335
00:16:29,094 --> 00:16:31,134
Speaker 4: talked about my boobs more in my life, but she

336
00:16:31,254 --> 00:16:33,174
Speaker 4: got a bigger size in me. I was like, go

337
00:16:33,214 --> 00:16:35,054
Speaker 4: a little tiny bit bigger. She did not go. I mean,

338
00:16:35,254 --> 00:16:37,374
Speaker 4: Molly was a very tiny framed woman. So she went

339
00:16:37,614 --> 00:16:40,094
Speaker 4: with something that felt like it would suit her body.

340
00:16:40,174 --> 00:16:43,734
Speaker 4: And she was really proud of them because she was

341
00:16:43,854 --> 00:16:47,054
Speaker 4: very involved in it, Like she was her own advocate

342
00:16:47,094 --> 00:16:50,294
Speaker 4: when it came to medication, what they were putting in

343
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:53,134
Speaker 4: her body, what the combinations of medications were, what the

344
00:16:53,174 --> 00:16:55,574
Speaker 4: side effects were, was the risk worth the reward? Like,

345
00:16:55,654 --> 00:16:58,294
Speaker 4: she was very tuned in and she was her own advocate,

346
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Speaker 4: even when it came down to her breast surgery.

347
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Speaker 1: So yeah, she took control of the uncontrollable.

348
00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:06,494
Speaker 4: Very that's a great way to put it. And it

349
00:17:06,534 --> 00:17:08,574
Speaker 4: was a reclaiming time for her. Like it didn't just

350
00:17:08,614 --> 00:17:11,254
Speaker 4: start with the sex. I think the reclaiming started with

351
00:17:12,094 --> 00:17:14,534
Speaker 4: being her own advocate and not letting a bunch of

352
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,414
Speaker 4: not to make this gender specific, but not letting a

353
00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:20,334
Speaker 4: bunch of dudes in white coats sort of dictate what

354
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,174
Speaker 4: was going to happen with her body. She was ready

355
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Speaker 4: to start making some choices on her own.

356
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Speaker 3: She'd had the reconstruction she was going through some issues

357
00:17:38,694 --> 00:17:42,694
Speaker 3: in her marriage. They were having therapy together. What were

358
00:17:42,734 --> 00:17:46,574
Speaker 3: the signs that the cancer was back? What made her investigate?

359
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,134
Speaker 4: So I remember this. I remember where she was living

360
00:17:50,254 --> 00:17:52,374
Speaker 4: and she called me. I even remember where I was

361
00:17:52,414 --> 00:17:54,974
Speaker 4: sitting that day. It's weird. It's like it was yesterday.

362
00:17:55,254 --> 00:17:58,934
Speaker 4: The sun was shining and I was sitting at my

363
00:17:59,054 --> 00:18:02,054
Speaker 4: desk and she called me and said, I'm leaving my

364
00:18:02,654 --> 00:18:06,574
Speaker 4: condo or my house right now. I'm going to go

365
00:18:06,614 --> 00:18:10,214
Speaker 4: work out, but my hip is really bothering me, like really.

366
00:18:10,254 --> 00:18:13,134
Speaker 4: She had hired a trainer. She was getting her strength back,

367
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,694
Speaker 4: and I remember I didn't know it at the time,

368
00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:19,414
Speaker 4: but now looking back, I kind of remember feeling a

369
00:18:19,454 --> 00:18:22,454
Speaker 4: flicker of something like oh no, but I thought, you know,

370
00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:25,494
Speaker 4: maybe it's just you overworked it. And she said, I'm

371
00:18:25,494 --> 00:18:27,454
Speaker 4: gonna go work out today. I'm gonna rest it, but

372
00:18:27,494 --> 00:18:29,774
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go get it checked out, just to be safe.

373
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Speaker 4: And when she went and got her tests done and

374
00:18:31,894 --> 00:18:34,254
Speaker 4: her screenings done, they found it was in her liver

375
00:18:34,934 --> 00:18:38,494
Speaker 4: and her brain and her lungs, I believe in her bones.

376
00:18:38,694 --> 00:18:43,574
Speaker 4: And it was it was devastating because she thought she

377
00:18:43,654 --> 00:18:46,734
Speaker 4: had beat it, you know, she thought she had really

378
00:18:46,854 --> 00:18:49,814
Speaker 4: put it to rest. So it was back, and it

379
00:18:49,854 --> 00:18:50,934
Speaker 4: was back at stage four.

380
00:18:51,974 --> 00:18:53,414
Speaker 3: She got the call while she was in the middle

381
00:18:53,414 --> 00:18:56,694
Speaker 3: of a therapy session, and the story she tells about

382
00:18:56,694 --> 00:19:02,814
Speaker 3: it is tragically hilarious in terms of her husband's reaction

383
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:04,254
Speaker 3: or her then husband's reaction.

384
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:11,134
Speaker 4: Right, So yeah, I always feel bad regurgitating the story

385
00:19:11,134 --> 00:19:13,574
Speaker 4: a little bit because it's it's Mollie's story to tell.

386
00:19:13,574 --> 00:19:15,694
Speaker 4: But now i'm her voice, right, like it's it's for

387
00:19:15,774 --> 00:19:18,694
Speaker 4: me to tell. But I don't know all sides of

388
00:19:18,734 --> 00:19:21,174
Speaker 4: the story. I know Mollie's side, and that's the story

389
00:19:21,174 --> 00:19:23,414
Speaker 4: that I'm telling. And if somebody else wants to tell

390
00:19:23,414 --> 00:19:25,054
Speaker 4: their side of the story, they can get a podcast

391
00:19:25,094 --> 00:19:27,254
Speaker 4: and write a book, right, That's what I say. But

392
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:29,894
Speaker 4: with Mollie, she was in therapy. They were working on

393
00:19:29,974 --> 00:19:33,214
Speaker 4: some communication stuff and she got the call, and I

394
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,934
Speaker 4: think she was waiting for that call. I mean, could

395
00:19:34,934 --> 00:19:37,254
Speaker 4: you imagine sitting and waiting for you know, that kind

396
00:19:37,294 --> 00:19:41,974
Speaker 4: of a result to come. So she was in therapy

397
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,734
Speaker 4: and got the call that it was metastatic and that

398
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:48,334
Speaker 4: there you know, she specifically said that means there's no

399
00:19:48,494 --> 00:19:50,494
Speaker 4: cure for this, and this is most likely what I'm

400
00:19:50,534 --> 00:19:52,574
Speaker 4: going to die from and the doctor was very honest

401
00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:55,014
Speaker 4: with her, and she just crumbled and lost it in

402
00:19:55,054 --> 00:19:58,174
Speaker 4: the middle of her session and then sat back down.

403
00:19:58,214 --> 00:20:01,534
Speaker 4: And then, according to Mollie, you know, her husband said,

404
00:20:01,654 --> 00:20:03,774
Speaker 4: can we can we back get can we get back

405
00:20:03,774 --> 00:20:06,654
Speaker 4: to the session? Can we get back to why I'm angry?

406
00:20:07,254 --> 00:20:09,814
Speaker 4: And I think in that moment, she knew and her

407
00:20:09,814 --> 00:20:12,134
Speaker 4: brain and her body that she was ready to leave

408
00:20:12,174 --> 00:20:15,454
Speaker 4: this relationship, and she was creating her exit strategy. From

409
00:20:15,494 --> 00:20:16,214
Speaker 4: that moment on.

410
00:20:17,654 --> 00:20:20,974
Speaker 3: You were in a pretty unique position to understand what

411
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,854
Speaker 3: she was going through, right because you'd lost your father

412
00:20:24,174 --> 00:20:26,734
Speaker 3: and your brother had also faced cancer.

413
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:31,334
Speaker 1: So you knew the ropes. Did that help in helping

414
00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:33,174
Speaker 1: her through what was to come?

415
00:20:34,414 --> 00:20:38,094
Speaker 4: In some ways? Yes, I was well versed at appointments

416
00:20:38,174 --> 00:20:42,934
Speaker 4: and uncomfortable conversations and talking about the elephant in the room,

417
00:20:43,654 --> 00:20:47,334
Speaker 4: and I was used to watching that process. Oddly enough,

418
00:20:47,334 --> 00:20:52,294
Speaker 4: I've watched a lot of people die, very weird, but

419
00:20:53,094 --> 00:20:56,214
Speaker 4: so it gave me a sort of I don't even

420
00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:58,014
Speaker 4: want to say confidence, that's a weird word, but a

421
00:20:58,454 --> 00:21:01,134
Speaker 4: like a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about death,

422
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:03,654
Speaker 4: but I felt very comfortable and confident saying like, this

423
00:21:03,734 --> 00:21:05,414
Speaker 4: is a part of life and we need to address it.

424
00:21:05,454 --> 00:21:08,574
Speaker 4: So I had this odd sense of like, I don't

425
00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:10,574
Speaker 4: know ownership over, like I know what this is like,

426
00:21:10,694 --> 00:21:13,174
Speaker 4: and I'm going to do this with you. I don't

427
00:21:13,174 --> 00:21:15,054
Speaker 4: know if that makes sense. I'm saying it out loud.

428
00:21:15,094 --> 00:21:16,894
Speaker 4: It makes sense in my head, but I may not

429
00:21:16,934 --> 00:21:18,294
Speaker 4: be articulating.

430
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:18,054
Speaker 1: It right now.

431
00:21:18,134 --> 00:21:21,734
Speaker 3: It does, Okay, No, it definitely does, because all you

432
00:21:21,774 --> 00:21:23,734
Speaker 3: can do is bear witness.

433
00:21:23,414 --> 00:21:25,054
Speaker 1: Right, yeah.

434
00:21:25,454 --> 00:21:29,734
Speaker 4: Yeah. And then in terms of you would think after

435
00:21:29,774 --> 00:21:32,814
Speaker 4: watching my father die and watching my brother go through

436
00:21:32,814 --> 00:21:35,814
Speaker 4: cancer and other family members pass from this, that I

437
00:21:35,814 --> 00:21:38,334
Speaker 4: would have a reality check, like knowing this is not

438
00:21:38,534 --> 00:21:42,094
Speaker 4: probably going to get better. But for some reason, with Mollie,

439
00:21:42,174 --> 00:21:47,014
Speaker 4: I just thought somehow she would defy all of the

440
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:51,294
Speaker 4: odds because I thought she was so special. So I thought, well, gosh,

441
00:21:51,854 --> 00:21:54,094
Speaker 4: she's got so much to give and she's finally figuring

442
00:21:54,094 --> 00:21:55,694
Speaker 4: out what she wants to do and say in the world,

443
00:21:55,694 --> 00:21:57,774
Speaker 4: and this isn't going to take her anytime soon. So

444
00:21:57,774 --> 00:22:00,694
Speaker 4: we'd always laugh and we'd say she's you know. I'd

445
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,454
Speaker 4: say you know you're dying and she'd say, well, aren't

446
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:05,414
Speaker 4: we all? And then she would say things like, well,

447
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,774
Speaker 4: I could live longer than you. I could live longer

448
00:22:07,814 --> 00:22:11,174
Speaker 4: than anybody that we're looking at. I don't think we

449
00:22:11,254 --> 00:22:14,174
Speaker 4: understood how much the clock was ticking until she went

450
00:22:14,174 --> 00:22:15,654
Speaker 4: into the hospital for that last time.

451
00:22:16,174 --> 00:22:19,374
Speaker 1: Well, she was not behaving like a person who was dying.

452
00:22:19,494 --> 00:22:21,814
Speaker 3: I mean the first thing she did was leave her husband,

453
00:22:23,574 --> 00:22:25,094
Speaker 3: which is not really what.

454
00:22:25,174 --> 00:22:26,294
Speaker 1: I would think of doing.

455
00:22:28,134 --> 00:22:30,974
Speaker 3: How did that like? What was your reaction when she

456
00:22:31,054 --> 00:22:32,534
Speaker 3: said I'm out at you?

457
00:22:33,174 --> 00:22:37,094
Speaker 4: I didn't even think twice about it. I thought, well, yeah, yeah,

458
00:22:37,254 --> 00:22:40,054
Speaker 4: you know. The thing that did strike me was that

459
00:22:40,094 --> 00:22:43,894
Speaker 4: he was very much her sort of healthcare person, right,

460
00:22:43,974 --> 00:22:45,814
Speaker 4: And I thought, well, how is she going to navigate this?

461
00:22:45,854 --> 00:22:47,774
Speaker 4: I want to ask her? She said, well, there's uber

462
00:22:51,334 --> 00:22:54,014
Speaker 4: I was like, and I said to her, I love you,

463
00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:57,254
Speaker 4: I will be there for you, but I cannot be

464
00:22:58,214 --> 00:23:00,734
Speaker 4: your person in that way. I've got two jobs, I've

465
00:23:00,774 --> 00:23:03,974
Speaker 4: got two step daughters, I've got a family, a life.

466
00:23:04,054 --> 00:23:07,174
Speaker 4: I said, you are such a huge part of my life.

467
00:23:07,174 --> 00:23:09,014
Speaker 4: But I was very honest with her and told her

468
00:23:09,174 --> 00:23:11,334
Speaker 4: my imitations of what I couldn't couldn't do. And I

469
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,494
Speaker 4: knew I could have that chat with her because of

470
00:23:13,574 --> 00:23:14,254
Speaker 4: how close we.

471
00:23:14,134 --> 00:23:18,934
Speaker 3: Were Mickey, you are very good with boundaries, because, like

472
00:23:18,974 --> 00:23:21,254
Speaker 3: I was thinking, most people would go, I'll pay there

473
00:23:21,294 --> 00:23:24,854
Speaker 3: for you. I'll do whatever it takes people like kids

474
00:23:24,854 --> 00:23:25,694
Speaker 3: when I'm available.

475
00:23:25,854 --> 00:23:33,934
Speaker 4: And also Papa, Now, listen, when she she knew that

476
00:23:33,974 --> 00:23:37,054
Speaker 4: when she called me and needed me, she knew that

477
00:23:37,094 --> 00:23:39,734
Speaker 4: if she was going to exercise that option and say

478
00:23:39,854 --> 00:23:42,174
Speaker 4: I need you, that I knew. She meant it like

479
00:23:42,214 --> 00:23:44,534
Speaker 4: there was no crime hole fear right, Like she knew

480
00:23:44,574 --> 00:23:46,774
Speaker 4: that when she needed me, I was going to drop

481
00:23:47,534 --> 00:23:50,254
Speaker 4: whatever however to be there for her. And I did

482
00:23:50,654 --> 00:23:54,654
Speaker 4: quite often because that was just I wanted to. It

483
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:59,774
Speaker 4: made me feel close to her and useful in the world,

484
00:23:59,854 --> 00:24:02,414
Speaker 4: and it was I was her person, and she was

485
00:24:02,494 --> 00:24:04,134
Speaker 4: my person in a way I always laughed at and

486
00:24:04,174 --> 00:24:06,414
Speaker 4: I always say Molly was my I was Molly's person.

487
00:24:06,454 --> 00:24:14,494
Speaker 4: But now that she's gone, I'm realizing, ugh, how much

488
00:24:16,974 --> 00:24:21,014
Speaker 4: my person that she really was, because I miss her

489
00:24:21,414 --> 00:24:24,094
Speaker 4: in ways that I didn't even think were possible.

490
00:24:30,574 --> 00:24:32,214
Speaker 1: It still comes the grief rite.

491
00:24:32,134 --> 00:24:37,614
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, the waves. How many years has it been now?

492
00:24:40,614 --> 00:24:44,214
Speaker 4: It was a year when the podcast was released, So

493
00:24:44,254 --> 00:24:48,854
Speaker 4: this passed February March, a year and a year and

494
00:24:48,894 --> 00:24:53,174
Speaker 4: a half. It feels like yesterday, and it feels like

495
00:24:53,214 --> 00:24:56,094
Speaker 4: a million years ago, all wrapped up in one. Right.

496
00:24:57,214 --> 00:24:59,454
Speaker 3: I feel like the fact that you were so good

497
00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:04,894
Speaker 3: with boundaries is incredibly impressive and was incredibly important for

498
00:25:04,974 --> 00:25:07,534
Speaker 3: your relationship to be able to stay as equal as

499
00:25:07,574 --> 00:25:09,414
Speaker 3: it was, and to be able to stay.

500
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:11,574
Speaker 1: As a and ship like you weren't her Cara.

501
00:25:12,654 --> 00:25:15,734
Speaker 3: So you know that from what I can glean about

502
00:25:15,774 --> 00:25:20,494
Speaker 3: your friendship from listening to the podcast, you stayed on

503
00:25:20,534 --> 00:25:22,934
Speaker 3: a very equal footing throughout her illness.

504
00:25:23,134 --> 00:25:26,174
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a beautiful thing to get. I don't know

505
00:25:26,254 --> 00:25:29,134
Speaker 4: if I ever realized that, but thank you for saying

506
00:25:29,174 --> 00:25:31,174
Speaker 4: that we did, and that was for both of us.

507
00:25:31,214 --> 00:25:31,894
Speaker 4: Did that together?

508
00:25:32,054 --> 00:25:32,254
Speaker 3: Yeah?

509
00:25:32,414 --> 00:25:35,094
Speaker 4: Sure, we both did that because we didn't want to

510
00:25:35,134 --> 00:25:38,214
Speaker 4: turn into a bad marriage. We wanted to be like

511
00:25:38,254 --> 00:25:39,934
Speaker 4: the best friends possible.

512
00:25:39,974 --> 00:25:42,014
Speaker 1: You know, when did the sex start happening?

513
00:25:42,974 --> 00:25:44,654
Speaker 4: Oh?

514
00:25:44,774 --> 00:25:44,934
Speaker 3: Right?

515
00:25:45,294 --> 00:25:47,374
Speaker 4: If I can tell you, this is exactly how mine

516
00:25:47,374 --> 00:25:49,454
Speaker 4: and Molly's chats would go. We'd be sobbing at the

517
00:25:49,454 --> 00:25:51,374
Speaker 4: table and then I would say, so can we get

518
00:25:51,414 --> 00:25:53,774
Speaker 4: back to the large penis that you saw on Thursday?

519
00:25:55,534 --> 00:25:58,894
Speaker 4: And she'd be like, happily, I was as grateful to

520
00:25:58,934 --> 00:26:01,134
Speaker 4: the sex as she was, because it was such a

521
00:26:01,214 --> 00:26:05,134
Speaker 4: nice distraction from talks about chemo and pills and puking

522
00:26:05,214 --> 00:26:07,534
Speaker 4: and you know, and your body falling apart. It was

523
00:26:07,534 --> 00:26:10,734
Speaker 4: a nice distraction. So the sex started before she well,

524
00:26:11,134 --> 00:26:13,934
Speaker 4: virtually it started before she left her marriage, and she

525
00:26:13,974 --> 00:26:15,894
Speaker 4: said she asked him for permission if she could go

526
00:26:15,934 --> 00:26:20,454
Speaker 4: about that, and he was very willing to allow her

527
00:26:20,534 --> 00:26:23,254
Speaker 4: to sort of get tapped back into that sexual part

528
00:26:23,294 --> 00:26:25,574
Speaker 4: of herself. And then she realized she wanted to take

529
00:26:25,614 --> 00:26:27,534
Speaker 4: it into real life and she did not want to

530
00:26:27,534 --> 00:26:30,254
Speaker 4: be a cheater. And I think when she was diagnosed

531
00:26:30,254 --> 00:26:34,014
Speaker 4: as terminal, knowing that she wanted that part of herself

532
00:26:34,014 --> 00:26:35,534
Speaker 4: to feel alive again, she knew it was time to

533
00:26:35,574 --> 00:26:38,094
Speaker 4: leave the marriage. So as soon as she left the marriage,

534
00:26:38,174 --> 00:26:42,254
Speaker 4: she started dating like there was like she started dating

535
00:26:42,454 --> 00:26:45,574
Speaker 4: like she was dying, Like she went for it. I

536
00:26:45,734 --> 00:26:49,094
Speaker 4: mean dates at six in the morning, dates at two

537
00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:51,774
Speaker 4: in the morning, dates at nine am, at noon, one

538
00:26:51,814 --> 00:26:54,214
Speaker 4: at six pm. I mean, she was a serial dater.

539
00:26:54,534 --> 00:26:55,374
Speaker 4: It was crazy.

540
00:26:55,534 --> 00:26:59,814
Speaker 3: Wow, And did she before she started dating in real life?

541
00:26:59,934 --> 00:27:03,174
Speaker 3: She started I've looked at the photos she took because

542
00:27:03,174 --> 00:27:05,094
Speaker 3: her Instagram account is still up.

543
00:27:05,454 --> 00:27:07,014
Speaker 1: And those shots of her.

544
00:27:08,294 --> 00:27:10,054
Speaker 3: She was really you could really see how she was

545
00:27:10,094 --> 00:27:13,494
Speaker 3: reclaiming her body and her identity as a sexual being

546
00:27:13,654 --> 00:27:17,934
Speaker 3: after cancer and through cancer and after ending her marriage,

547
00:27:18,214 --> 00:27:19,934
Speaker 3: And that was enough of her for a while.

548
00:27:19,814 --> 00:27:20,574
Speaker 1: Wasn't it.

549
00:27:20,574 --> 00:27:24,974
Speaker 4: It was yeah, until it wasn't until yeah. I think

550
00:27:25,134 --> 00:27:27,374
Speaker 4: at first it was about her reclaiming of her body

551
00:27:27,454 --> 00:27:30,214
Speaker 4: and not being seen through the lens of cancer. I

552
00:27:30,214 --> 00:27:31,854
Speaker 4: think it's part of the reason why she kept her

553
00:27:31,894 --> 00:27:33,894
Speaker 4: cancer so private is she didn't want to be seen.

554
00:27:34,014 --> 00:27:37,054
Speaker 4: That is only that, and that happens often. I mean,

555
00:27:37,094 --> 00:27:39,494
Speaker 4: when someone you know that has cancer walks into a party,

556
00:27:39,534 --> 00:27:43,054
Speaker 4: the first thing you do is, oh, like you feel yeah,

557
00:27:43,174 --> 00:27:50,734
Speaker 4: And she didn't exactly exactly why you and I think

558
00:27:50,734 --> 00:27:53,014
Speaker 4: she appreciated that, but that's not how she wanted to

559
00:27:53,054 --> 00:27:55,814
Speaker 4: be seen. So she would take these really sexy selfies,

560
00:27:55,854 --> 00:27:59,294
Speaker 4: like super erotic looking selfies that were Instagram friendly, and

561
00:27:59,334 --> 00:28:02,334
Speaker 4: she posts them, but she coupled them with these statements

562
00:28:02,374 --> 00:28:05,134
Speaker 4: that were honest statements, like what she had been going through,

563
00:28:05,214 --> 00:28:07,054
Speaker 4: what it's like to have, you know, a port in

564
00:28:07,094 --> 00:28:09,014
Speaker 4: her arm and trying to hide it so that the

565
00:28:09,054 --> 00:28:12,294
Speaker 4: sexy selfie can be sexy and not you know, medical

566
00:28:12,294 --> 00:28:15,054
Speaker 4: equipment and she would be honest and say, some days,

567
00:28:15,054 --> 00:28:17,334
Speaker 4: I'm on the bathroom floor, you know, taking a selfie

568
00:28:17,374 --> 00:28:19,854
Speaker 4: and looking erotic. In other days, I'm on the bathroom

569
00:28:19,854 --> 00:28:21,694
Speaker 4: floor because I can't get off of it because I'm

570
00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:25,774
Speaker 4: so fatigued. But she wanted to start, you know, dipping

571
00:28:25,774 --> 00:28:27,774
Speaker 4: her toe into that, and so she started going on

572
00:28:27,854 --> 00:28:30,774
Speaker 4: apps bum bumble, I look at me. I'm like, what's

573
00:28:30,814 --> 00:28:35,334
Speaker 4: it called bumble and tender? I'm a serial, Like, I'm

574
00:28:35,374 --> 00:28:38,054
Speaker 4: a serial monogamous, so I just go from one relationship

575
00:28:38,054 --> 00:28:41,174
Speaker 4: to the next. Right, I didn't have time to date.

576
00:28:41,214 --> 00:28:46,174
Speaker 4: I was too busy making people commit to me. Anyway,

577
00:28:46,534 --> 00:28:49,894
Speaker 4: That's a book in and of itself. But Molly really great,

578
00:28:50,454 --> 00:28:54,134
Speaker 4: just like meeting people where they were seeing guys that

579
00:28:54,214 --> 00:28:58,094
Speaker 4: had these interesting fetishes, talking to them on Tinder, talking

580
00:28:58,094 --> 00:29:01,094
Speaker 4: to them on okay Cupid. Really, there's an underbelly of

581
00:29:01,334 --> 00:29:03,774
Speaker 4: sex that goes on on all of these apps that

582
00:29:03,814 --> 00:29:04,654
Speaker 4: I didn't know about.

583
00:29:05,374 --> 00:29:09,134
Speaker 3: Sure, let's let's revisit some of those. The couple in

584
00:29:09,174 --> 00:29:10,974
Speaker 3: the box that she met, I.

585
00:29:11,014 --> 00:29:13,414
Speaker 4: Think that was the second or third thing she had

586
00:29:13,454 --> 00:29:16,574
Speaker 4: done in real life. And you know, she'd always been like,

587
00:29:16,574 --> 00:29:18,494
Speaker 4: oh should I should I date women? Should I should

588
00:29:18,494 --> 00:29:19,694
Speaker 4: I try it with a woman and I'm like, well,

589
00:29:19,734 --> 00:29:22,094
Speaker 4: do you have interest and she's like no, but I'm

590
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:24,414
Speaker 4: gonna do it anyway. I'm like, okay. So she met

591
00:29:24,454 --> 00:29:26,134
Speaker 4: a couple in a bar that's actually right up the

592
00:29:26,134 --> 00:29:28,574
Speaker 4: street from where she was living and where I was living,

593
00:29:28,574 --> 00:29:30,854
Speaker 4: So this was all happening in the same neighborhood, which

594
00:29:30,854 --> 00:29:33,334
Speaker 4: is funny because I would take my stepdaughters to lunch

595
00:29:33,454 --> 00:29:36,614
Speaker 4: at the same little pub where Mollie was like doing

596
00:29:36,654 --> 00:29:38,294
Speaker 4: things in the parking lot, and I was like, this

597
00:29:38,374 --> 00:29:42,694
Speaker 4: is so weird and amazing. So yeah, she dated a

598
00:29:42,734 --> 00:29:45,694
Speaker 4: couple for a minute, made out with the woman in

599
00:29:45,734 --> 00:29:47,974
Speaker 4: the bathroom and was like, yeah, this is not hot.

600
00:29:48,134 --> 00:29:50,694
Speaker 4: And then while she was ending that date, she was

601
00:29:50,734 --> 00:29:54,414
Speaker 4: starting another date via her phone that she was heading

602
00:29:54,494 --> 00:29:58,174
Speaker 4: to go meet and exchanging you know, pictures back and

603
00:29:58,214 --> 00:30:00,774
Speaker 4: forth with the guy while she was basically telling this

604
00:30:00,854 --> 00:30:03,974
Speaker 4: couple like, hey, this was really hot, but I gotta go,

605
00:30:04,294 --> 00:30:07,334
Speaker 4: so she multitasking like a badass.

606
00:30:08,574 --> 00:30:12,054
Speaker 3: The episode from the podcast that I Love is I

607
00:30:12,094 --> 00:30:13,654
Speaker 3: can't remember if it was at the end of that

608
00:30:13,694 --> 00:30:16,214
Speaker 3: actual date where she goes to the car with the

609
00:30:16,374 --> 00:30:17,774
Speaker 3: guy to make out.

610
00:30:18,294 --> 00:30:21,614
Speaker 4: Yes, that was in the same exact neighborhood, at the

611
00:30:21,654 --> 00:30:23,774
Speaker 4: same exact bar. In fact, I've tried to get this

612
00:30:23,894 --> 00:30:26,414
Speaker 4: bar to like sponsor something because I'm like, do you

613
00:30:26,454 --> 00:30:27,654
Speaker 4: know what went on at your bar?

614
00:30:27,974 --> 00:30:32,534
Speaker 1: It needs to be a ploqu nikki at the bar. Definitely.

615
00:30:33,854 --> 00:30:35,934
Speaker 4: That's so funny. Well, you know what's funny is that

616
00:30:35,974 --> 00:30:38,494
Speaker 4: I called the bar not that long ago to say

617
00:30:39,734 --> 00:30:43,454
Speaker 4: could we do something together? And the bartender goes, oh, Mollie,

618
00:30:44,014 --> 00:30:46,614
Speaker 4: and I was like what he goes, yeah, we have

619
00:30:46,734 --> 00:30:51,054
Speaker 4: listened to the podcast. We remember Mollie and I'm like,

620
00:30:51,094 --> 00:30:53,534
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, this is another episode to record with

621
00:30:53,574 --> 00:30:55,694
Speaker 4: these guys. All these bartenders knew who she was because

622
00:30:55,694 --> 00:30:58,254
Speaker 4: she frequented so often and she never ordered a drink

623
00:30:58,294 --> 00:31:00,334
Speaker 4: because she wasn't a drinker, so they knew she was

624
00:31:00,374 --> 00:31:03,214
Speaker 4: a club, soda and lime girl. So she hooked up

625
00:31:03,214 --> 00:31:04,854
Speaker 4: with the skate I think he might have been the

626
00:31:04,894 --> 00:31:08,254
Speaker 4: first she hooks up with him. They go to the car,

627
00:31:08,614 --> 00:31:12,014
Speaker 4: they start, you know, megan out pretty hot and heavy.

628
00:31:12,334 --> 00:31:15,294
Speaker 4: I think her top came off and his pants came down,

629
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:17,134
Speaker 4: and the next thing you know, I think she's giving

630
00:31:17,214 --> 00:31:20,494
Speaker 4: him oral sex. I think that's what was going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

631
00:31:20,534 --> 00:31:23,934
Speaker 4: and then he started to get super roused. Didn't quite

632
00:31:23,974 --> 00:31:26,334
Speaker 4: know what to do with it, so he opened the

633
00:31:26,374 --> 00:31:30,174
Speaker 4: car door and just sort of let it all. I

634
00:31:30,214 --> 00:31:34,294
Speaker 4: mean into the lawn, right, I don't I don't know

635
00:31:34,294 --> 00:31:35,574
Speaker 4: how graphic we can get here.

636
00:31:35,814 --> 00:31:38,774
Speaker 3: Oh, very that's fine. Onto the lawn, which is an

637
00:31:38,774 --> 00:31:40,574
Speaker 3: interesting choice, right.

638
00:31:40,734 --> 00:31:43,614
Speaker 4: But in the midst of it, his car alarm starts

639
00:31:43,614 --> 00:31:46,774
Speaker 4: to go off very loudly in a very private, high

640
00:31:46,894 --> 00:31:52,294
Speaker 4: end neighborhood. So as he's sort of unloading his thing

641
00:31:52,534 --> 00:32:00,014
Speaker 4: into welled mind, the alarms and he can't figure out

642
00:32:00,054 --> 00:32:02,574
Speaker 4: how to turn off the alarm, and it is blaring,

643
00:32:02,734 --> 00:32:04,734
Speaker 4: and it is a mess. And the beauty of this

644
00:32:04,974 --> 00:32:09,134
Speaker 4: is that she never saw him again. We record the podcast,

645
00:32:09,334 --> 00:32:12,094
Speaker 4: you know. A few years later we recorded and start

646
00:32:12,134 --> 00:32:14,974
Speaker 4: talking about this episode, and then when Mollie went into

647
00:32:15,014 --> 00:32:16,974
Speaker 4: the hospital, I realized, oh, we're not going to be

648
00:32:16,974 --> 00:32:21,254
Speaker 4: able to finish this podcast together. And then he appeared

649
00:32:21,294 --> 00:32:23,014
Speaker 4: on the po I called him out of the blue

650
00:32:23,014 --> 00:32:25,254
Speaker 4: and to have him come on the podcast and be

651
00:32:25,334 --> 00:32:27,854
Speaker 4: so willing to sort of air his dirty laundry. He

652
00:32:28,334 --> 00:32:30,974
Speaker 4: and I are still friends, we still communicate, and I

653
00:32:31,574 --> 00:32:32,494
Speaker 4: adore him.

654
00:32:33,134 --> 00:32:35,454
Speaker 3: It was such a good spot because she hadn't told

655
00:32:35,534 --> 00:32:40,214
Speaker 3: him that she was sick, and he was so lovely

656
00:32:40,254 --> 00:32:43,014
Speaker 3: and open to having a chat about it when you called.

657
00:32:42,974 --> 00:32:45,374
Speaker 4: I know, he was just he's like one of my

658
00:32:45,454 --> 00:32:47,654
Speaker 4: favorite people. And we did meet for coffee and we

659
00:32:47,734 --> 00:32:50,614
Speaker 4: hung out, and I just kept thinking, Mollie has no

660
00:32:50,734 --> 00:32:53,254
Speaker 4: idea the people that she's brought together in the stories,

661
00:32:53,414 --> 00:32:55,854
Speaker 4: and it was just it was one of those moments

662
00:32:55,854 --> 00:32:57,054
Speaker 4: where I was like, oh my gosh, this is where

663
00:32:57,094 --> 00:32:59,014
Speaker 4: Molly and I used to have coffee, and now I'm

664
00:32:59,014 --> 00:33:02,054
Speaker 4: having coffee with car alarm guy instead of Mollie, but

665
00:33:02,094 --> 00:33:05,694
Speaker 4: we're talking about mom. It was just all very very cool.

666
00:33:06,054 --> 00:33:09,294
Speaker 3: One time you went to her house and she had

667
00:33:09,374 --> 00:33:12,934
Speaker 3: life makeup down one side of her face, like red,

668
00:33:12,934 --> 00:33:13,934
Speaker 3: white and blue makeup.

669
00:33:14,134 --> 00:33:17,654
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was very it was it was contouring on

670
00:33:17,694 --> 00:33:19,454
Speaker 4: a whole new Live was like, what is that color?

671
00:33:19,494 --> 00:33:21,454
Speaker 4: I don't think she's like, oh my gosh. She was

672
00:33:21,454 --> 00:33:25,414
Speaker 4: in a little nightie and she was just yeah, looked

673
00:33:25,454 --> 00:33:28,414
Speaker 4: like she had like gone to the circus and she

674
00:33:28,574 --> 00:33:30,494
Speaker 4: kind of had. And I said where were you and

675
00:33:30,534 --> 00:33:32,414
Speaker 4: she said, oh, I was making out with a clown.

676
00:33:32,614 --> 00:33:36,854
Speaker 4: And I said, like where, and she's like, well, he

677
00:33:36,974 --> 00:33:39,414
Speaker 4: was working and then we hooked up and and we

678
00:33:39,494 --> 00:33:41,454
Speaker 4: just went for it. He wanted to have sex with

679
00:33:41,574 --> 00:33:44,374
Speaker 4: me while dressed as a clown, and I said, and

680
00:33:44,774 --> 00:33:46,414
Speaker 4: you went with it. And she's like, oh yeah, it

681
00:33:46,494 --> 00:33:51,174
Speaker 4: was good. She's like it was good. Okay. So yeah,

682
00:33:51,214 --> 00:33:53,094
Speaker 4: it was smeared down her face and her really light

683
00:33:53,174 --> 00:33:55,094
Speaker 4: Like you said, she had really blonde hair, and it

684
00:33:55,134 --> 00:33:57,494
Speaker 4: was in her hair it was red and blue and

685
00:33:58,134 --> 00:34:00,974
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, but that was Molly. I mean she

686
00:34:01,054 --> 00:34:03,254
Speaker 4: was just up for She was up for a lot,

687
00:34:03,374 --> 00:34:04,334
Speaker 4: She was up for anything.

688
00:34:04,774 --> 00:34:07,974
Speaker 3: She was very completely non judgmental and ended up hooking

689
00:34:08,014 --> 00:34:11,854
Speaker 3: up with guys and learning quite a lot about different fetishes. Yeah,

690
00:34:12,494 --> 00:34:15,654
Speaker 3: the most perverse one was the guy who wanted her

691
00:34:15,694 --> 00:34:16,334
Speaker 3: to kick.

692
00:34:16,174 --> 00:34:20,574
Speaker 4: Him really hard, multiple times, over and over again in

693
00:34:20,734 --> 00:34:23,694
Speaker 4: the nuts, which I just thought was fascinating because isn't

694
00:34:23,694 --> 00:34:27,334
Speaker 4: that like the most painful thing that can happen to

695
00:34:27,374 --> 00:34:29,254
Speaker 4: a guy. But you would, so I asked her. I

696
00:34:29,294 --> 00:34:30,894
Speaker 4: had a lot of questions. I mean this was probably

697
00:34:30,934 --> 00:34:33,174
Speaker 4: a six hour lunch one day when we just sat

698
00:34:33,294 --> 00:34:35,414
Speaker 4: and I wrote down all these stories because I was like,

699
00:34:35,454 --> 00:34:38,414
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, there is something here. So yeah, the

700
00:34:38,454 --> 00:34:40,814
Speaker 4: guy just wanted to be kicked multiple times over and

701
00:34:40,894 --> 00:34:44,094
Speaker 4: over and over again, and he didn't sort of climax

702
00:34:44,174 --> 00:34:47,254
Speaker 4: or anything. But she described it as sort of spank

703
00:34:47,294 --> 00:34:50,134
Speaker 4: bank material that he would carry with him for later

704
00:34:50,494 --> 00:34:53,854
Speaker 4: in his sex life. But there was something about being

705
00:34:55,014 --> 00:34:59,694
Speaker 4: tortured in pain, kicked by a woman in heels or

706
00:34:59,734 --> 00:35:02,014
Speaker 4: in bare feet that was just very erotic to him.

707
00:35:02,134 --> 00:35:04,094
Speaker 4: I was I had to get over a lot of

708
00:35:04,134 --> 00:35:11,374
Speaker 4: my judgment because I was like, what, why, who? Where? No, Oh,

709
00:35:11,454 --> 00:35:15,974
Speaker 4: it doesn't make any sense. But no, did these things.

710
00:35:15,814 --> 00:35:18,854
Speaker 3: Turn her on or she was more just almost like

711
00:35:19,334 --> 00:35:23,654
Speaker 3: a wildlife documentary, just learning about people and sex and

712
00:35:23,734 --> 00:35:24,534
Speaker 3: different things.

713
00:35:25,134 --> 00:35:27,214
Speaker 4: You know, it's funny you say that, because a lot

714
00:35:27,254 --> 00:35:30,414
Speaker 4: of responses were well while Molly was just being of

715
00:35:30,494 --> 00:35:32,694
Speaker 4: service to people and doing things for others and not

716
00:35:32,774 --> 00:35:35,534
Speaker 4: necessarily for herself. And that does fall in line with

717
00:35:35,574 --> 00:35:37,254
Speaker 4: a little bit of who Molly was, where she would

718
00:35:37,254 --> 00:35:39,574
Speaker 4: get a little lost sometimes in a dynamic and she

719
00:35:39,574 --> 00:35:42,174
Speaker 4: would just be such a good listener and so much

720
00:35:42,214 --> 00:35:45,414
Speaker 4: of service that maybe she wouldn't figure out her own

721
00:35:45,494 --> 00:35:47,334
Speaker 4: needs or her own ones. And I think as she

722
00:35:47,454 --> 00:35:52,694
Speaker 4: got more experienced, she realized how to learn things about

723
00:35:52,694 --> 00:35:57,494
Speaker 4: herself within the dynamic of that. She wasn't interested in

724
00:35:57,534 --> 00:36:00,934
Speaker 4: being a dominatrix, but she tried it right. She wasn't

725
00:36:00,974 --> 00:36:04,454
Speaker 4: interested in certain fetishes, but she was really interested in

726
00:36:04,494 --> 00:36:08,614
Speaker 4: the people behind the fetishes, the humans underneath it. And

727
00:36:08,654 --> 00:36:10,974
Speaker 4: so yes, a lot of it was sex based, but

728
00:36:10,974 --> 00:36:12,574
Speaker 4: I think a lot of it was human based. She

729
00:36:12,694 --> 00:36:15,254
Speaker 4: was just like absorbing all of it and in the

730
00:36:15,294 --> 00:36:19,254
Speaker 4: process feeling really sexy and connected to her sexuality into

731
00:36:19,294 --> 00:36:21,854
Speaker 4: her body that she was robbed of that as a

732
00:36:21,934 --> 00:36:25,254
Speaker 4: younger girl and a woman. And I think this was

733
00:36:25,374 --> 00:36:28,254
Speaker 4: there was a reclaiming happening. The sex needed to come

734
00:36:28,534 --> 00:36:31,014
Speaker 4: and then the emotional stuff was able to come after.

735
00:36:31,094 --> 00:36:33,254
Speaker 4: And I think she learned that when she was reflecting

736
00:36:33,254 --> 00:36:34,854
Speaker 4: on her life from her hospital.

737
00:36:34,894 --> 00:36:40,814
Speaker 3: But there's a point in your story and your friendship

738
00:36:40,894 --> 00:36:43,894
Speaker 3: where she's invited to go to New York to be

739
00:36:44,014 --> 00:36:47,774
Speaker 3: in a like a breast cancer fashion parade, yea, and

740
00:36:48,934 --> 00:36:51,054
Speaker 3: she thinks that it's going to be really great, and

741
00:36:51,174 --> 00:36:53,414
Speaker 3: her mum, I think lives still lives in New York,

742
00:36:53,494 --> 00:36:56,454
Speaker 3: and you went with her, and it turned out to

743
00:36:56,534 --> 00:36:59,454
Speaker 3: be quite a dark time, didn't it it?

744
00:36:59,534 --> 00:37:03,134
Speaker 4: Did it? It was you know, in the midst of it,

745
00:37:03,334 --> 00:37:07,174
Speaker 4: I was just doing, being of service, helping and kind

746
00:37:07,214 --> 00:37:10,854
Speaker 4: of on autopilot. A little bit about halfway through the trip,

747
00:37:10,894 --> 00:37:13,414
Speaker 4: I realized that this was not turning out the way

748
00:37:13,454 --> 00:37:16,734
Speaker 4: that we both had hoped. We looked at it as

749
00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:18,494
Speaker 4: an opportunity for the two of us to go to

750
00:37:18,494 --> 00:37:22,014
Speaker 4: New York, stay in her childhood home, go to these parties,

751
00:37:22,174 --> 00:37:26,174
Speaker 4: be in fashion week, and when she got there, she

752
00:37:26,374 --> 00:37:29,414
Speaker 4: wasn't feeling great. A lot of it was emotional. I

753
00:37:29,454 --> 00:37:32,934
Speaker 4: think going back to New York with heart on her

754
00:37:33,134 --> 00:37:35,854
Speaker 4: I think that city carried a lot of sadness and

755
00:37:35,894 --> 00:37:38,414
Speaker 4: grief for her that she maybe had forgotten about over

756
00:37:38,454 --> 00:37:42,014
Speaker 4: the years. And I also think that, you know, she

757
00:37:42,174 --> 00:37:44,934
Speaker 4: wanted a sense of community in the breast cancer world,

758
00:37:45,054 --> 00:37:47,414
Speaker 4: but never quite knew how to find it with other women,

759
00:37:47,574 --> 00:37:52,174
Speaker 4: because she wanted to be seen but not she wanted

760
00:37:52,174 --> 00:37:56,174
Speaker 4: to be heard but not. So she was constantly just

761
00:37:57,134 --> 00:38:01,574
Speaker 4: you know, didn't know where to land. And I think

762
00:38:01,774 --> 00:38:05,134
Speaker 4: that she it was the first time she had gone

763
00:38:05,174 --> 00:38:08,934
Speaker 4: public about having breast cancer on a stage in front

764
00:38:08,974 --> 00:38:12,494
Speaker 4: of that thousands of people walking the catwalk as a badass.

765
00:38:13,094 --> 00:38:17,134
Speaker 4: But I kept seeing the younger girl and her sort

766
00:38:17,174 --> 00:38:20,294
Speaker 4: of crumbling because it was a lot I think it

767
00:38:20,334 --> 00:38:22,254
Speaker 4: was a lot more than she or I or her

768
00:38:22,254 --> 00:38:25,734
Speaker 4: mom had expected, and so that was a really that

769
00:38:25,814 --> 00:38:28,174
Speaker 4: was a really hard trip on our friendship. It was hard.

770
00:38:28,174 --> 00:38:31,054
Speaker 4: It was like our first really big fight. I was

771
00:38:31,094 --> 00:38:34,414
Speaker 4: also going through my own personal stuff. I was pregnant

772
00:38:34,774 --> 00:38:36,334
Speaker 4: at the time, and I don't even know if I've

773
00:38:36,334 --> 00:38:38,214
Speaker 4: ever said that out loud, and maybe I have, but

774
00:38:39,534 --> 00:38:41,494
Speaker 4: I was pregnant and I think it was probably my

775
00:38:41,774 --> 00:38:45,574
Speaker 4: fourth or fifth pregnancy. So I had lost all of

776
00:38:45,614 --> 00:38:50,814
Speaker 4: my pregnancies, all of them, and very latent to the pregnancies.

777
00:38:50,894 --> 00:38:55,374
Speaker 4: So here I was pregnant again, feeling hopeful but terrified,

778
00:38:55,574 --> 00:38:57,854
Speaker 4: and going on an airplane to support my best friend

779
00:38:57,854 --> 00:39:00,934
Speaker 4: with cancer. And I was emotional, she was emotional, and

780
00:39:00,974 --> 00:39:03,894
Speaker 4: it was kind of a recipe for disaster. And we

781
00:39:03,934 --> 00:39:06,334
Speaker 4: went through a lot during that weekend. It was it

782
00:39:06,374 --> 00:39:10,334
Speaker 4: was really really dark moments too.

783
00:39:10,654 --> 00:39:15,054
Speaker 3: Beautiful moments too, You'll fight about It was so stupid.

784
00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:18,334
Speaker 3: It really is right, Like I'm not a good My

785
00:39:18,374 --> 00:39:20,574
Speaker 3: fiance always says to me, like, you're not a good closer,

786
00:39:20,894 --> 00:39:22,854
Speaker 3: like I will be a rock star. But that then,

787
00:39:22,934 --> 00:39:25,734
Speaker 3: like the last mile of the race, I'm like, oh this,

788
00:39:26,494 --> 00:39:27,574
Speaker 3: so I'm.

789
00:39:27,414 --> 00:39:31,654
Speaker 4: Like the worst. So I had we I had flown

790
00:39:31,654 --> 00:39:34,214
Speaker 4: there with her, we had stayed at her place, we

791
00:39:34,254 --> 00:39:36,854
Speaker 4: had sort of battled this thing together, and then on

792
00:39:36,894 --> 00:39:40,494
Speaker 4: her way home, she was just exhausted and tired. And

793
00:39:41,294 --> 00:39:43,974
Speaker 4: we got to the airport in Burbank and she couldn't

794
00:39:43,974 --> 00:39:45,894
Speaker 4: lift her bags, and all of a sudden, I shouldn't

795
00:39:45,934 --> 00:39:47,774
Speaker 4: have been lifting anything either, because I was pregnant and

796
00:39:47,814 --> 00:39:50,734
Speaker 4: terrified of losing another baby that I did end up losing,

797
00:39:50,854 --> 00:39:58,894
Speaker 4: by the way, you know, thank you, you know. So,

798
00:39:58,894 --> 00:40:03,414
Speaker 4: so we get off of the flight and my stepdaughters

799
00:40:03,774 --> 00:40:06,494
Speaker 4: and my dog and my fiance are coming to pick

800
00:40:06,534 --> 00:40:08,734
Speaker 4: me up, and Molly says, do you think I could

801
00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:10,934
Speaker 4: have a ride home? And I thought, oh, my gosh,

802
00:40:10,934 --> 00:40:12,214
Speaker 4: I don't know how we're going to fit everybody in

803
00:40:12,214 --> 00:40:15,934
Speaker 4: the car. And I said, they're all coming to pick

804
00:40:15,934 --> 00:40:17,974
Speaker 4: me up and you live opposite And it was one

805
00:40:17,974 --> 00:40:20,814
Speaker 4: of those moments where I was like, I felt tapped

806
00:40:20,814 --> 00:40:23,574
Speaker 4: out and I just said, I can't give you a

807
00:40:23,654 --> 00:40:25,134
Speaker 4: ride home. The kids are in the car, and she

808
00:40:25,214 --> 00:40:27,174
Speaker 4: kind of rolled her eyes and got upset with me,

809
00:40:27,294 --> 00:40:30,734
Speaker 4: you know, and I snapped, and I was like, it

810
00:40:30,814 --> 00:40:33,814
Speaker 4: was pouring down rain. She's so sick and frail and

811
00:40:33,814 --> 00:40:36,054
Speaker 4: she's holding her bags and I said, call an uber,

812
00:40:36,534 --> 00:40:38,334
Speaker 4: I can't deal with this, and I think I said

813
00:40:38,374 --> 00:40:40,534
Speaker 4: something really shitty and walked away from her and left

814
00:40:40,534 --> 00:40:43,694
Speaker 4: her basically standing in the rain with her bag, very

815
00:40:43,734 --> 00:40:48,574
Speaker 4: sick and exhausted. And that was our first real, like

816
00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:51,814
Speaker 4: fu fight, like I'm tired of this shit. And we

817
00:40:51,854 --> 00:40:53,734
Speaker 4: didn't talk for two weeks, and that was the longest

818
00:40:53,774 --> 00:40:57,734
Speaker 4: we had ever gone without talking. But we we hashed

819
00:40:57,734 --> 00:41:01,654
Speaker 4: it out on the phone and really like aired our

820
00:41:01,654 --> 00:41:05,134
Speaker 4: grievances and moved on. It kind of brought us closer

821
00:41:05,174 --> 00:41:07,294
Speaker 4: because I feel like, once you have your first real

822
00:41:07,334 --> 00:41:09,814
Speaker 4: fight with a friend, that was kind of our first fight.

823
00:41:10,014 --> 00:41:11,694
Speaker 4: It was like twenty years in the making.

824
00:41:12,214 --> 00:41:15,054
Speaker 3: You have to be very connected and feel very safe

825
00:41:15,054 --> 00:41:17,254
Speaker 3: in your relationship to have a fight like that.

826
00:41:17,934 --> 00:41:20,414
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I still feel bad about leaving her in

827
00:41:20,414 --> 00:41:23,734
Speaker 4: the rain like that image. I won't ever forget I'm

828
00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:27,094
Speaker 4: just abandoning her. But she kissed me off, so yeah,

829
00:41:27,494 --> 00:41:29,054
Speaker 4: that was mad. Where it is?

830
00:41:30,414 --> 00:41:32,934
Speaker 3: When did you find out about what had happened to

831
00:41:32,974 --> 00:41:35,414
Speaker 3: her as a kid and how did that change the

832
00:41:35,454 --> 00:41:38,774
Speaker 3: way you looked at her whole sexual adventure?

833
00:41:41,814 --> 00:41:44,414
Speaker 4: You know, her sexual trauma. I always knew about it

834
00:41:44,654 --> 00:41:47,454
Speaker 4: because she told me very early on in our friendship.

835
00:41:47,534 --> 00:41:49,854
Speaker 4: But my twenty year old self, I think, absorbed it

836
00:41:49,974 --> 00:41:53,654
Speaker 4: very differently than my forty year old self. So I

837
00:41:53,694 --> 00:41:55,814
Speaker 4: just kind of took it as, oh, that's information about her,

838
00:41:55,854 --> 00:41:58,174
Speaker 4: and that must have been very difficult and so hard.

839
00:42:00,134 --> 00:42:02,174
Speaker 4: But not And you know it's funny. When she started

840
00:42:02,254 --> 00:42:05,254
Speaker 4: doing the sex right, like having crazy amounts of sex,

841
00:42:05,974 --> 00:42:11,334
Speaker 4: I didn't really I I didn't want to say, oh,

842
00:42:11,374 --> 00:42:14,014
Speaker 4: this must be because of your trauma, right, Like who

843
00:42:14,014 --> 00:42:15,894
Speaker 4: am I to say that? I don't know what this is.

844
00:42:15,974 --> 00:42:18,174
Speaker 4: I just supported her through all of it, no matter

845
00:42:18,174 --> 00:42:20,134
Speaker 4: what it was, like, who cares where it comes from.

846
00:42:20,294 --> 00:42:21,574
Speaker 4: If you have to go through it, you have to

847
00:42:21,614 --> 00:42:23,814
Speaker 4: go through it. So I thought a lot of it

848
00:42:23,854 --> 00:42:26,094
Speaker 4: was a reclaiming of her body. I thought a lot

849
00:42:26,134 --> 00:42:29,534
Speaker 4: of it was sowing some oats. She had an adverse

850
00:42:29,534 --> 00:42:32,654
Speaker 4: reaction to the medication, which most people when they do

851
00:42:32,774 --> 00:42:35,574
Speaker 4: this sort of hormone therapy in their cancer journey, it

852
00:42:35,654 --> 00:42:38,814
Speaker 4: shuts everything down. But for her, she was like vibrating

853
00:42:38,854 --> 00:42:42,894
Speaker 4: and alive. So whether or not she was sexually abused

854
00:42:42,934 --> 00:42:45,214
Speaker 4: as a child or not, I felt like, this is

855
00:42:45,214 --> 00:42:48,894
Speaker 4: what she needs to go through. And I supported it

856
00:42:48,894 --> 00:42:51,734
Speaker 4: for two reasons. One because who am I to judge

857
00:42:51,734 --> 00:42:54,814
Speaker 4: somebody else's journey? And it was fun and I saw

858
00:42:54,854 --> 00:42:58,254
Speaker 4: her feel alive, and I saw her processing things and

859
00:42:58,294 --> 00:43:01,614
Speaker 4: getting excited about life and being excited about how she

860
00:43:01,654 --> 00:43:04,734
Speaker 4: looked and felt in the world. And it wasn't all pretty.

861
00:43:04,974 --> 00:43:10,014
Speaker 4: There are some real messy, messy, uncomfortable things went down

862
00:43:10,094 --> 00:43:14,614
Speaker 4: during these sexcapades. But I just always trusted her, and

863
00:43:14,654 --> 00:43:17,894
Speaker 4: I trusted that she knew her limitations and what she

864
00:43:17,894 --> 00:43:20,014
Speaker 4: could and couldn't do, And even though she had been

865
00:43:20,014 --> 00:43:23,734
Speaker 4: through trauma, I trusted that she was protecting herself and

866
00:43:23,774 --> 00:43:27,134
Speaker 4: taking care of herself. I would get worried, but I

867
00:43:27,134 --> 00:43:29,814
Speaker 4: always knew that I don't know, I always knew she'd

868
00:43:29,814 --> 00:43:30,334
Speaker 4: be okay.

869
00:43:30,934 --> 00:43:34,094
Speaker 3: Were you worried for her physical safety? Like cooking up

870
00:43:34,134 --> 00:43:40,374
Speaker 3: with these random guys, the clowns and the nut kicker, and.

871
00:43:40,934 --> 00:43:44,254
Speaker 4: Well, I know, it's funny occasionally, like there were times

872
00:43:44,294 --> 00:43:45,894
Speaker 4: where I'd say, could you text me when you get

873
00:43:45,894 --> 00:43:47,054
Speaker 4: home just so I know you're safe?

874
00:43:47,214 --> 00:43:47,414
Speaker 3: Right?

875
00:43:47,494 --> 00:43:49,814
Speaker 4: And also, I mean she's you know, she's a New

876
00:43:49,894 --> 00:43:51,814
Speaker 4: York girl, right, I mean she's an Upper West Side

877
00:43:51,854 --> 00:43:53,654
Speaker 4: New York girl, I'm from Saint Louis, Like, I can

878
00:43:53,734 --> 00:43:56,334
Speaker 4: kick some serious ass. I'm like, she know, she knows

879
00:43:56,334 --> 00:43:56,974
Speaker 4: how to you know.

880
00:43:57,414 --> 00:43:58,854
Speaker 1: She knows how to kick someone in the nuts.

881
00:43:58,894 --> 00:44:04,574
Speaker 4: Now true, that's so true. So I kind of always

882
00:44:04,654 --> 00:44:06,414
Speaker 4: knew that she was gonna be okay. There were a

883
00:44:06,454 --> 00:44:08,094
Speaker 4: couple of times where I was a little like, hey, Molly,

884
00:44:08,174 --> 00:44:10,694
Speaker 4: that's maybe not let's be a little safer, and she'd

885
00:44:10,694 --> 00:44:13,134
Speaker 4: be like, I know, I know. But overall I felt

886
00:44:13,174 --> 00:44:16,774
Speaker 4: like what she was doing you say that I'm good

887
00:44:16,814 --> 00:44:19,814
Speaker 4: at boundaries, Mollie was great, I think with some boundaries

888
00:44:20,334 --> 00:44:23,774
Speaker 4: within herself. There were times she found herself not great

889
00:44:23,814 --> 00:44:28,494
Speaker 4: with boundaries, but overall, in this journey, overall, I think

890
00:44:28,534 --> 00:44:31,134
Speaker 4: she really knew how to tune in with herself and

891
00:44:31,174 --> 00:44:34,214
Speaker 4: how to have conversations with herself to say, ah, this

892
00:44:34,334 --> 00:44:36,734
Speaker 4: is starting to feel like old stuff, this is starting

893
00:44:36,734 --> 00:44:40,574
Speaker 4: to feel like trauma, and this is feeling like being alive.

894
00:44:41,334 --> 00:44:43,974
Speaker 4: I think she could tell the difference. And as she

895
00:44:44,054 --> 00:44:47,094
Speaker 4: went on and had more sexual encounters, the more she

896
00:44:47,174 --> 00:44:49,614
Speaker 4: learned about herself, and I thought that was pretty empowering.

897
00:44:50,934 --> 00:44:53,254
Speaker 3: When she went into hospital for that final time, she

898
00:44:53,294 --> 00:44:55,134
Speaker 3: didn't realize that it was going to be the final time.

899
00:44:55,214 --> 00:44:57,054
Speaker 3: She thought she was just going to have a procedure

900
00:44:57,214 --> 00:45:01,094
Speaker 3: and then come out. When did her head turn from

901
00:45:01,974 --> 00:45:05,654
Speaker 3: the sex to wanting to tell her story about what

902
00:45:05,694 --> 00:45:08,974
Speaker 3: had happened to her as a kid and her life.

903
00:45:09,614 --> 00:45:12,014
Speaker 4: Molly always wanted to tell her story and write a

904
00:45:12,054 --> 00:45:14,694
Speaker 4: book right even before the cancer and before all of

905
00:45:14,694 --> 00:45:17,214
Speaker 4: this happened. I think she always had a drive to share.

906
00:45:17,294 --> 00:45:19,934
Speaker 4: She was a wonderful writer, but I think was afraid

907
00:45:20,174 --> 00:45:23,374
Speaker 4: to be seen, afraid to be heard, yet desperately wanted

908
00:45:23,374 --> 00:45:25,094
Speaker 4: to be seen and heard at the same time. So

909
00:45:25,134 --> 00:45:28,334
Speaker 4: that dance was going on for her. But when she

910
00:45:28,614 --> 00:45:33,214
Speaker 4: entered the hospital, by the way, you ask the best questions,

911
00:45:33,254 --> 00:45:38,014
Speaker 4: I just love you. This is so wonderful therapy. What

912
00:45:38,054 --> 00:45:40,694
Speaker 4: do I owe you? When she entered the hospital, it

913
00:45:40,734 --> 00:45:42,294
Speaker 4: was a couple of months into her stay. I mean

914
00:45:42,334 --> 00:45:46,934
Speaker 4: she was there December January, from almost four months. There

915
00:45:47,054 --> 00:45:49,654
Speaker 4: was still like a month and a half into her

916
00:45:49,654 --> 00:45:53,414
Speaker 4: hospital stay. She still thought she was getting out and

917
00:45:53,454 --> 00:45:56,014
Speaker 4: going to get better, and she was still sort of

918
00:45:56,734 --> 00:45:59,974
Speaker 4: having suitors come visit her and watch movies in her

919
00:45:59,974 --> 00:46:02,654
Speaker 4: hospital room and sextying a little bit. I mean, she

920
00:46:02,814 --> 00:46:05,734
Speaker 4: was still in the very beginning, she was still like

921
00:46:06,054 --> 00:46:08,374
Speaker 4: doing it and working it and still holding onto that.

922
00:46:08,454 --> 00:46:11,414
Speaker 4: And then a guy comes in.

923
00:46:11,614 --> 00:46:12,974
Speaker 1: Did she give me a blood job?

924
00:46:13,094 --> 00:46:16,214
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, don't go that's right. Yes, yes, he came

925
00:46:16,254 --> 00:46:19,454
Speaker 4: to visit. He was so handsome and so cute and

926
00:46:19,494 --> 00:46:21,374
Speaker 4: he came to visit. And when she told me the story,

927
00:46:21,414 --> 00:46:24,014
Speaker 4: I immediately did the eye roll, which was like, oh

928
00:46:24,054 --> 00:46:26,654
Speaker 4: my god, what a douchebag. He shows up to the hospital,

929
00:46:26,974 --> 00:46:29,014
Speaker 4: you give him oral sex, and then he's like, oh,

930
00:46:29,094 --> 00:46:32,374
Speaker 4: I'm seeing it. Later he's out. But then once I

931
00:46:32,414 --> 00:46:34,374
Speaker 4: got to know him, because he came on the podcast

932
00:46:34,414 --> 00:46:37,694
Speaker 4: as well. Once I got to know him and understand

933
00:46:37,814 --> 00:46:42,574
Speaker 4: more about him, it was actually not what I thought.

934
00:46:42,694 --> 00:46:45,614
Speaker 4: He came in, they snuggled up in bed. She said

935
00:46:45,654 --> 00:46:47,894
Speaker 4: he took his clothes off so that he wouldn't contaminate,

936
00:46:48,054 --> 00:46:50,534
Speaker 4: you know, the bedroom, And I thought, oh, oh, really,

937
00:46:50,574 --> 00:46:53,374
Speaker 4: that's why he took his clothes off. That's so cute.

938
00:46:53,654 --> 00:46:55,294
Speaker 4: But then after I talked to him and kind of

939
00:46:55,334 --> 00:46:58,054
Speaker 4: got to know him, I really do think that that's

940
00:46:58,054 --> 00:47:01,294
Speaker 4: what he was seeing so respectful and like kind and

941
00:47:01,334 --> 00:47:04,374
Speaker 4: loving him. When I told him that she had, well,

942
00:47:04,414 --> 00:47:07,134
Speaker 4: he when we finally had the conversation, he had revealed

943
00:47:07,134 --> 00:47:10,134
Speaker 4: that he knew she had passed away. He was devastated

944
00:47:10,574 --> 00:47:12,534
Speaker 4: and heartbroken. And I think in that moment, with that

945
00:47:12,574 --> 00:47:16,414
Speaker 4: conversation with him on the podcast, I fully realized how

946
00:47:16,414 --> 00:47:18,894
Speaker 4: deeply she touched these people that she would have these

947
00:47:19,334 --> 00:47:23,214
Speaker 4: sexual journeys with. It wasn't just a blowjob in the hospital.

948
00:47:23,494 --> 00:47:25,654
Speaker 4: I mean, it's fun to say, I think it was

949
00:47:25,694 --> 00:47:28,094
Speaker 4: really something deeper and more connected because Molly was a

950
00:47:28,214 --> 00:47:31,414
Speaker 4: very special creature. She would get you to open up

951
00:47:31,454 --> 00:47:35,574
Speaker 4: and reveal your deepest, darkest things about yourself, and she

952
00:47:35,654 --> 00:47:38,294
Speaker 4: made you feel heard and seen and safe. And so

953
00:47:38,374 --> 00:47:40,974
Speaker 4: I think that's when she started to realize, like, I

954
00:47:41,014 --> 00:47:43,694
Speaker 4: have the capacity to have an emotional and a sexual

955
00:47:43,734 --> 00:47:46,814
Speaker 4: relationship at the same time. And by that time, she

956
00:47:46,894 --> 00:47:48,254
Speaker 4: wasn't getting out of the hospital.

957
00:47:48,334 --> 00:47:54,654
Speaker 3: So yeah, Hugh didn't expect for her to die. When

958
00:47:54,654 --> 00:47:58,974
Speaker 3: you started making the podcast together, even though ironically it

959
00:47:59,094 --> 00:48:01,174
Speaker 3: was called Dying for Sex, you thought it was going

960
00:48:01,214 --> 00:48:02,334
Speaker 3: to end in a different way.

961
00:48:02,534 --> 00:48:04,494
Speaker 1: How did you think it was going to go?

962
00:48:06,174 --> 00:48:09,174
Speaker 4: So I thought that we'd do like a season two, right.

963
00:48:09,214 --> 00:48:11,654
Speaker 4: We did season one, which was all about like the sexcapades,

964
00:48:11,694 --> 00:48:13,574
Speaker 4: and then I thought Season two, we would get into

965
00:48:13,614 --> 00:48:17,574
Speaker 4: my story, which is the fertility, because Molly beautifully said

966
00:48:17,614 --> 00:48:20,334
Speaker 4: once like, I'm fighting for my life at the exact

967
00:48:20,414 --> 00:48:23,334
Speaker 4: same time that you're fighting to make a life. And

968
00:48:23,374 --> 00:48:25,654
Speaker 4: we were going through surgeries at the same time I

969
00:48:25,694 --> 00:48:28,014
Speaker 4: was going through miscarriages while she was in the hospital.

970
00:48:28,014 --> 00:48:30,494
Speaker 4: We were facetiming with like our ivs in I mean,

971
00:48:30,534 --> 00:48:33,494
Speaker 4: we were really going through this. And she would always

972
00:48:33,534 --> 00:48:36,294
Speaker 4: say to me, if this is your version of cancer,

973
00:48:36,494 --> 00:48:42,494
Speaker 4: and she never made me feel badly for saying. You know,

974
00:48:42,534 --> 00:48:44,334
Speaker 4: I would say, oh my god, you're dealing with cancer

975
00:48:44,374 --> 00:48:46,374
Speaker 4: and I'm just dealing with this, And she always made

976
00:48:46,414 --> 00:48:48,654
Speaker 4: it feel very much like we were going through this together.

977
00:48:49,054 --> 00:48:51,214
Speaker 4: So I thought there'd be a season too, and I

978
00:48:51,214 --> 00:48:52,854
Speaker 4: thought there'd be a season where we could talk about

979
00:48:52,894 --> 00:48:57,054
Speaker 4: the trauma, the sexual trauma. And I just, I don't know.

980
00:48:57,214 --> 00:48:59,974
Speaker 4: I thought, you know, her doctors told her like, you

981
00:49:00,134 --> 00:49:03,774
Speaker 4: have years, not decades. So in my mind, I go to, Okay,

982
00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:06,974
Speaker 4: she's got nine years. We've got nine more years together, right,

983
00:49:07,894 --> 00:49:10,174
Speaker 4: And I think she actually thought she had a a little,

984
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:12,414
Speaker 4: you know, a chunk of time. And I think when

985
00:49:12,454 --> 00:49:14,254
Speaker 4: she went into that hospital, I don't think any of

986
00:49:14,294 --> 00:49:16,774
Speaker 4: us prepared for it to be because she had defied

987
00:49:16,814 --> 00:49:18,694
Speaker 4: so many odds. I don't think we were prepared for

988
00:49:18,734 --> 00:49:21,534
Speaker 4: that to be her last hospital visit.

989
00:49:22,974 --> 00:49:24,574
Speaker 1: How did you then decide what to do with the

990
00:49:24,614 --> 00:49:25,254
Speaker 1: rest of the show.

991
00:49:25,694 --> 00:49:28,774
Speaker 4: Well, we had been trying to find someone to, you know,

992
00:49:30,694 --> 00:49:33,654
Speaker 4: distribute her story, knowing that there would be a season two.

993
00:49:33,734 --> 00:49:35,614
Speaker 4: And then once she got into the hospital and I

994
00:49:35,654 --> 00:49:38,814
Speaker 4: realized she wasn't coming out, I was it was my

995
00:49:38,894 --> 00:49:41,294
Speaker 4: mission to tell her story, and I didn't know how

996
00:49:41,414 --> 00:49:44,214
Speaker 4: to do it, but I just knew that I was

997
00:49:44,294 --> 00:49:46,854
Speaker 4: just maybe just going to release the episodes that we

998
00:49:46,894 --> 00:49:50,254
Speaker 4: had recorded on my YouTube channel or wherever. I just

999
00:49:50,294 --> 00:49:52,974
Speaker 4: had to get them heard. But then when I realized

1000
00:49:53,014 --> 00:49:56,774
Speaker 4: that she wasn't going to be getting out and that

1001
00:49:56,814 --> 00:49:59,894
Speaker 4: this was the end, was much closer than I had anticipated.

1002
00:50:00,494 --> 00:50:02,294
Speaker 4: I asked her if she'd be willing to record from

1003
00:50:02,334 --> 00:50:04,934
Speaker 4: her hospital bed, and she was very open to it.

1004
00:50:04,974 --> 00:50:07,174
Speaker 4: So we recorded a couple of episodes just she and

1005
00:50:07,214 --> 00:50:09,534
Speaker 4: I on my phone with a little microphone attached from

1006
00:50:09,614 --> 00:50:14,694
Speaker 4: her bed, and then I was getting ready to release

1007
00:50:14,734 --> 00:50:18,054
Speaker 4: the episodes. I believe that she was she was still here,

1008
00:50:18,574 --> 00:50:20,974
Speaker 4: and I wanted to release I wanted to release the

1009
00:50:20,974 --> 00:50:22,774
Speaker 4: episodes because I wanted her to know that they were

1010
00:50:22,814 --> 00:50:26,054
Speaker 4: out there. I just wanted her to know. And then

1011
00:50:26,574 --> 00:50:30,054
Speaker 4: I decided to send an email to Wondery, who helped

1012
00:50:30,054 --> 00:50:33,414
Speaker 4: me produce the podcast and gave this thing wings. I

1013
00:50:33,534 --> 00:50:35,454
Speaker 4: decided to reach out again because I hadn't heard back

1014
00:50:35,454 --> 00:50:37,734
Speaker 4: from them. I thought, gosh, start not responding. Okay, I

1015
00:50:37,774 --> 00:50:39,974
Speaker 4: know this is Hollywood. Nobody responds to anything in this time.

1016
00:50:40,574 --> 00:50:41,854
Speaker 4: And so I gave it one more shot and I

1017
00:50:41,894 --> 00:50:43,974
Speaker 4: sent an email and I said, before I self published this,

1018
00:50:44,014 --> 00:50:47,094
Speaker 4: I just wanted to make sure you're passing on this project.

1019
00:50:47,614 --> 00:50:50,694
Speaker 4: And then the CEO of the company responded and said,

1020
00:50:50,694 --> 00:50:53,774
Speaker 4: I never got the email, and I'm so glad you

1021
00:50:53,814 --> 00:50:55,654
Speaker 4: reached back out. So I had a meeting with him,

1022
00:50:56,094 --> 00:50:58,054
Speaker 4: and he came to the hospital and met Molly on

1023
00:50:58,254 --> 00:51:03,454
Speaker 4: Valentine's Day and spent an hour with her, an hour

1024
00:51:03,534 --> 00:51:05,694
Speaker 4: or so just sitting with her and promising that he

1025
00:51:05,734 --> 00:51:08,894
Speaker 4: would tell her story. And so we worked for a

1026
00:51:08,934 --> 00:51:13,054
Speaker 4: whole year after Mollie had passed to really get this

1027
00:51:13,054 --> 00:51:17,414
Speaker 4: this story told right, and we launched it almost a

1028
00:51:17,494 --> 00:51:20,654
Speaker 4: year to her to her passing, almost the anniversary of

1029
00:51:20,654 --> 00:51:23,454
Speaker 4: her passing, which was felt very important to me.

1030
00:51:24,374 --> 00:51:26,734
Speaker 3: I'm not surprised that the Graef's coming back in a

1031
00:51:26,774 --> 00:51:30,054
Speaker 3: new wave because I imagine that time was like keeping her

1032
00:51:30,094 --> 00:51:35,254
Speaker 3: alive for you and keeping your friendship alive. And now

1033
00:51:35,254 --> 00:51:37,254
Speaker 3: it's that and then those that it's out in the world,

1034
00:51:37,294 --> 00:51:39,974
Speaker 3: and then you're getting everybody's feedback about it, and it's like,

1035
00:51:41,174 --> 00:51:42,534
Speaker 3: I guess the whole is there now?

1036
00:51:43,694 --> 00:51:45,934
Speaker 1: When do you notice it the most?

1037
00:51:49,254 --> 00:51:52,334
Speaker 4: In the mornings when it's quiet and everyone's asleep and

1038
00:51:52,374 --> 00:51:55,654
Speaker 4: I get ready to start my day, And a lot

1039
00:51:55,654 --> 00:51:57,414
Speaker 4: of the times it has something to do with Molly,

1040
00:51:57,654 --> 00:52:00,134
Speaker 4: Like she wanted to be the center of my universe

1041
00:52:00,174 --> 00:52:02,654
Speaker 4: so often, and now she's gone, And I'm like, girl,

1042
00:52:02,694 --> 00:52:04,774
Speaker 4: you the center you are. I am been telling your

1043
00:52:04,774 --> 00:52:06,934
Speaker 4: story for years now. I've got her book next to

1044
00:52:07,014 --> 00:52:10,094
Speaker 4: me or pictures, I wear her necklace. I'm like, she's

1045
00:52:10,214 --> 00:52:13,414
Speaker 4: I feel closer to her now than I really ever have.

1046
00:52:14,094 --> 00:52:14,974
Speaker 4: And she's on you.

1047
00:52:15,054 --> 00:52:21,774
Speaker 1: One time she did she really alone. She's obsessed with you.

1048
00:52:22,734 --> 00:52:25,574
Speaker 4: I don't think I've told this to anybody, but where

1049
00:52:25,614 --> 00:52:28,614
Speaker 4: she shipped on me the first time with the seagull,

1050
00:52:28,774 --> 00:52:31,854
Speaker 4: where I said I released her ashes, I said, show

1051
00:52:31,894 --> 00:52:33,934
Speaker 4: me a sign like a real sign, not like a

1052
00:52:33,934 --> 00:52:37,334
Speaker 4: butterfly or dragonfly like show me. The bird crapped all

1053
00:52:37,374 --> 00:52:39,174
Speaker 4: over my back, so much so that we had to

1054
00:52:39,254 --> 00:52:42,014
Speaker 4: use multiple towels to wipe it off. It was disgusting.

1055
00:52:42,094 --> 00:52:45,334
Speaker 4: My boy, my fiancee was dry heaving. I was like Molly.

1056
00:52:46,294 --> 00:52:48,774
Speaker 4: And then we went back in May, we went back

1057
00:52:48,814 --> 00:52:53,014
Speaker 4: to that same spot and we got engaged there and

1058
00:52:53,734 --> 00:52:56,494
Speaker 4: right after we proposed, I set my camera up because

1059
00:52:56,494 --> 00:52:59,574
Speaker 4: it's quarantine, so we're in masks and totally social distancing,

1060
00:52:59,654 --> 00:53:01,614
Speaker 4: and we set up the camera to take a picture

1061
00:53:01,654 --> 00:53:04,454
Speaker 4: on the timer and I pressed, you know, take the picture,

1062
00:53:04,494 --> 00:53:06,574
Speaker 4: and the photo goes and goes. We took like ten

1063
00:53:06,614 --> 00:53:09,494
Speaker 4: in a row, and all of a sudden, I look

1064
00:53:09,614 --> 00:53:12,294
Speaker 4: over in a bird poops right next to us, I mean,

1065
00:53:12,414 --> 00:53:15,094
Speaker 4: splatters all over the concrete next to us. And I

1066
00:53:15,254 --> 00:53:17,734
Speaker 4: just looked at my fiance and I was like, she

1067
00:53:18,014 --> 00:53:21,414
Speaker 4: did it again. She's just right there, like she's even.

1068
00:53:25,534 --> 00:53:27,934
Speaker 1: And that is a sense of humor that you two share.

1069
00:53:28,134 --> 00:53:31,334
Speaker 4: It's just so perfect, so gross and morbid and twisted.

1070
00:53:31,374 --> 00:53:33,934
Speaker 4: But I feel her in the mornings and as she is,

1071
00:53:34,254 --> 00:53:36,494
Speaker 4: I mean, she guides me and my choices. She guides

1072
00:53:36,494 --> 00:53:38,774
Speaker 4: me when I'm telling her story. I feel her actually

1073
00:53:38,894 --> 00:53:41,134
Speaker 4: right now with you and me. I feel her in

1074
00:53:41,174 --> 00:53:44,334
Speaker 4: this interviews, but it comes up, and when it comes up,

1075
00:53:44,414 --> 00:53:50,174
Speaker 4: I can't breathe. It's hard. But this is exactly how

1076
00:53:50,214 --> 00:53:53,014
Speaker 4: she wanted to be remembered. So I feel very honored

1077
00:53:53,014 --> 00:53:54,174
Speaker 4: to be able to tell her story.

1078
00:53:55,014 --> 00:53:57,934
Speaker 3: Oh, Nikki and I had a little cry after the

1079
00:53:57,974 --> 00:53:59,374
Speaker 3: microphones were turned off.

1080
00:53:59,934 --> 00:54:00,774
Speaker 1: In that interview.

1081
00:54:01,414 --> 00:54:05,734
Speaker 3: We both very much felt that Molly was in the

1082
00:54:05,814 --> 00:54:07,974
Speaker 3: room with us, even though we weren't in the room

1083
00:54:08,014 --> 00:54:08,534
Speaker 3: with each other.

1084
00:54:09,534 --> 00:54:10,934
Speaker 1: I just felt her.

1085
00:54:11,294 --> 00:54:14,334
Speaker 3: Around, and we felt it in the connection that we

1086
00:54:14,414 --> 00:54:15,414
Speaker 3: kind of had with each other.

1087
00:54:15,494 --> 00:54:17,934
Speaker 1: It was really interesting, you know when that happens.

1088
00:54:17,974 --> 00:54:19,854
Speaker 3: Sometimes you just talk to someone and you just feel

1089
00:54:19,854 --> 00:54:21,574
Speaker 3: like you've known them for a really long time.

1090
00:54:22,214 --> 00:54:22,734
Speaker 1: I did not.

1091
00:54:22,734 --> 00:54:26,774
Speaker 3: Get shut on by a bird, so she wasn't that

1092
00:54:26,774 --> 00:54:28,414
Speaker 3: close to me, But maybe that was because I was

1093
00:54:28,414 --> 00:54:29,574
Speaker 3: inside and not on a beach.

1094
00:54:30,574 --> 00:54:31,694
Speaker 1: You are no doubt going.

1095
00:54:31,614 --> 00:54:35,334
Speaker 3: To want to hear more of Nicki's show with Molly

1096
00:54:35,574 --> 00:54:38,094
Speaker 3: Dying for Sex. You are going to want to dive deep.

1097
00:54:38,134 --> 00:54:41,334
Speaker 3: You're going to want to know what Molly looks like,

1098
00:54:41,454 --> 00:54:43,854
Speaker 3: what Nicki looks like. That's certainly what I did when

1099
00:54:43,894 --> 00:54:45,774
Speaker 3: I started listening to their show, and then.

1100
00:54:45,654 --> 00:54:48,214
Speaker 1: I found the Instagram account that.

1101
00:54:48,134 --> 00:54:51,734
Speaker 3: Molly had created with all the sexy selfies that she

1102
00:54:51,814 --> 00:54:54,534
Speaker 3: used to take and send to people and just take

1103
00:54:54,574 --> 00:54:56,974
Speaker 3: for herself. So we will put all those links in

1104
00:54:57,014 --> 00:55:00,294
Speaker 3: the show notes. And the other thing that you'll appreciate

1105
00:55:00,334 --> 00:55:03,334
Speaker 3: if you've listened to the Dying for Sex podcast is

1106
00:55:03,374 --> 00:55:06,534
Speaker 3: how much Molly wanted to finish her book before she died,

1107
00:55:06,774 --> 00:55:10,374
Speaker 3: and she did and now you can by it and

1108
00:55:10,494 --> 00:55:14,174
Speaker 3: I've read it and it is She's a really good writer.

1109
00:55:14,294 --> 00:55:17,574
Speaker 3: It's a great book. Molly's book is called Screw Cancer

1110
00:55:17,814 --> 00:55:20,374
Speaker 3: Becoming Whole. You can get it on Kindle. All the

1111
00:55:20,414 --> 00:55:24,854
Speaker 3: details are at dyingfo Sex podcast dot com and you

1112
00:55:24,894 --> 00:55:28,734
Speaker 3: can follow Nicki at Nicky Boyer that's Ni double Ki

1113
00:55:29,374 --> 00:55:33,734
Speaker 3: b o y Er on Instagram. I hope you enjoyed

1114
00:55:33,734 --> 00:55:36,214
Speaker 3: this episode of No Filter. If you did, it would

1115
00:55:36,374 --> 00:55:39,134
Speaker 3: be a huge help to me and everyone involved in

1116
00:55:39,214 --> 00:55:39,974
Speaker 3: making this show.

1117
00:55:40,054 --> 00:55:40,934
Speaker 1: If you went and.

1118
00:55:40,934 --> 00:55:43,654
Speaker 3: Left a review wherever you get your podcast, that helps

1119
00:55:43,654 --> 00:55:46,734
Speaker 3: people discover it and it helps us keep on making it.

1120
00:55:47,334 --> 00:55:50,494
Speaker 3: This episode was produced by Leah Porges. The executive producer

1121
00:55:50,774 --> 00:55:53,774
Speaker 3: of No Filter is Eliza Ratliffe, I'm Meya Friedman, and

1122
00:55:53,814 --> 00:55:56,494
Speaker 3: I'll see you on momamea dot com dot au.

1123
00:55:58,334 --> 00:56:00,814
Speaker 2: We hope you enjoyed this episode of No Filter. If

1124
00:56:00,814 --> 00:56:02,774
Speaker 2: you'd like to hear more from the No Filter team,

1125
00:56:02,854 --> 00:56:05,614
Speaker 2: there's a link to follow along in our show notes

1126
00:56:05,814 --> 00:56:08,654
Speaker 2: and the Quickie will be back to regular scheduled programming

1127
00:56:08,734 --> 00:56:10,654
Speaker 2: tomorrow in your eight from six a m.