Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2: Mama Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to
Speaker 2: cancel The Lazy Girl's Guide to Bizarre celebrity cancelations. I'm
Speaker 2: Jesse Stevens and I'm Claire Stephens, and we are putting
Speaker 2: on a hot pod Summer hear at Mumma.
Speaker 1: Mea Summer Summer Sight.
Speaker 3: I didn't not just.
Speaker 2: Say that, which means we'll be releasing our absolute favorite
Speaker 2: moments across this holiday period. And on top of all that,
Speaker 2: all podcasts at Muma Maya will have brand new episodes
Speaker 2: dropping about the topics we couldn't stop talking about this year,
Speaker 2: all curated especially for you. Today, we need to talk
Speaker 2: about Dakoda Johnson, the star of Fifty Shades of Gray,
Speaker 2: which was a global box office here, but we're not
Speaker 2: talk Madam movies today because the greatest thing the Dakota
Speaker 2: Johnson has ever done is the press tour for Madam Webb.
Speaker 2: Some may call it the disastrous press tour, others would
Speaker 2: call it very entertaining. Dakota might just be our favorite
Speaker 2: Nepo baby we've ever welcomed. Into the council courtroom. She
Speaker 2: doesn't really give a fuck, which is what us lazy
Speaker 2: girls can totally relate to. From lying in interviews to
Speaker 2: sleeping for far too long, We've unpacked it all. Were
Speaker 2: our sentences too harsh? You decide this is a moment
Speaker 2: from our big episode on Dakota Johnson moving on to
Speaker 2: Madam Webb.
Speaker 3: I have a new movie coming out. It's called Madam Webb.
Speaker 1: It is in the.
Speaker 3: Marvel universe, and it also stars Sidney Sweeney. So it's
Speaker 3: kind of like if AI generated your boyfriend's perfect movie.
Speaker 2: Dakota Johnson describes Madam Webb as absolutely psychotic. I don't
Speaker 2: know anything about it, and I agree, I don't know
Speaker 2: where to begin. Jersey White, everyone in Madam Webb, everyone
Speaker 2: you've ever met, Sidney Sweeney is Adam Webb. And I
Speaker 2: think that's a strange call. Weren't you working on other
Speaker 2: things she was, such as that romantic comedy anyone but you?
Speaker 2: Let's start with the trailer.
Speaker 1: A week ago, I spent my life racing against time.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna help you out today, okay.
Speaker 1: Trying to save people who are running out of it,
Speaker 1: until one moment changed everything. I've been having visions. I
Speaker 1: knew he was gonna die. I think I'm seeing the future.
Speaker 2: Have you seen the viral meme from the trailer about
Speaker 2: the Amazon? No, No, all, I've seen tweets about how
Speaker 2: bad it is and like some quotes where it's like,
Speaker 2: I am Madam Webb. Okay, well this has gone absolutely
Speaker 2: viral and they put it to you know who else
Speaker 2: doesn't notice going viral? Dakota. She doesn't have a fine.
Speaker 2: I swear to god, this is the clip that everyone
Speaker 2: saw and just the internet fucking lost again.
Speaker 1: He was in the Amazon with my mom when she
Speaker 1: was researching spiders right before she died.
Speaker 2: Let me just I'm going to repeat to you the
Speaker 2: line that's gone absolutely viral. He was in the Amazon
Speaker 2: with my mom when she was researching spiders just before
Speaker 2: she died. The more I hear this sentence, the less
Speaker 2: I understand it. He spider man. No, because she was
Speaker 2: researching spiders. He was in the Amazon with my mom
Speaker 2: when she was researching spiders before she died. Okay, before
Speaker 2: her mom died, Yes, before she died. She was in
Speaker 2: the Amazon researching spiders with him. The sentences doing me
Speaker 2: something about the subject and the I don't know who
Speaker 2: he was. She's in the Amazon with my mom when
Speaker 2: she was researching spiders just before she died. It seems
Speaker 2: Spider Webby and Spider Many in Madame and Madame Madam Webby.
Speaker 2: It went so viral because no one could understand it,
Speaker 2: and it ended up being cut from the actual film.
Speaker 4: With that sound, we wouldn't have been able to hear
Speaker 4: such classic lines as You're gonna need a bigger boat,
Speaker 4: I'll have what she's having. And he was in the
Speaker 4: Amazon with my mother when she was researching spiders just
Speaker 4: before she died.
Speaker 2: And it was put to her and everyone was like,
Speaker 2: have you seen this going viral? And she's like, I do.
Speaker 2: I don't understand why that's gone viral.
Speaker 1: That's just a sentence.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, it's just out of context. It just
Speaker 2: and then she goes, doesn't anything out of context sound
Speaker 2: out of context? I think she has a point. I
Speaker 2: think she has a point. If you took any line
Speaker 2: from Oppenheimer, from Barbie out of context, yeah, it might
Speaker 2: sound funny, but this is just a like, it's clearly
Speaker 2: a premise setting line. Yeah, No, I think he was.
Speaker 2: It's in the Amazon with my mom when she was
Speaker 2: researching spiders just before she died. I think the problem
Speaker 2: is Madam Webb doesn't make sense. Terrible film. Everybody's mad
Speaker 2: about it. The number of sheese could be multiple. She
Speaker 2: is so true, and I just feel like if my
Speaker 2: mom had died, I wouldn't be like I would. She
Speaker 2: was spiders before she It's like, did she die from
Speaker 2: the Amazon Spiders or did she died unrelatedly ten years later?
Speaker 2: In which case, why are we thinking about the Amazon?
Speaker 2: You know a great point who died. Was it him
Speaker 2: or was it her? Lays it with spiders in the
Speaker 2: Amazon or the Amazon. In a promotional video, she said
Speaker 2: I've always loved Marvel movies, and then later admitted that
Speaker 2: she'd seen maybe four percent of them. She was then
Speaker 2: asked if she could name the Spider Man films on
Speaker 2: because Madam web is related to the Spider Man.
Speaker 4: I thought of that.
Speaker 2: The Web gave it away. Yes, so it's something to
Speaker 2: do with the Marvel universe. I don't know if it's
Speaker 2: technically a Marvel ste because some people have said that
Speaker 2: she tagged Marvel and then they think she discovered it
Speaker 2: wasn't really a Marvel film or something afterwards, and then
Speaker 2: she deleted that post. She couldn't name the Spider Man films,
Speaker 2: isn't it like The Amazing Spider Man and the Amazing
Speaker 2: Spider Man Too and Spider Man Multiverse, et cetera. Well,
Speaker 2: she gave it a shot.
Speaker 3: Okay, spider Man, here's here he comes one Spider Man
Speaker 3: and he's back, and the other one, the last one
Speaker 3: is the garblet of Spider Man. Harry spider Man and
Speaker 3: the Garblet of Man.
Speaker 2: Like her, I like her. I don't know the goblet
Speaker 2: of Spider Man. Who is and she refuses to prep
Speaker 2: who is in that? Daniel rag quiz No.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 2: She was also asked because she kept being like, I
Speaker 2: love the Marble universe because that was on her, so
Speaker 2: she was probably briefed, Yeah, talking point, say you love
Speaker 2: the Marvel universe spider Man. She said, I love the
Speaker 2: Marvel universe. And they said, oh my goodness, who is
Speaker 2: your favorite female Marvel character?
Speaker 4: Oh shit, the blue.
Speaker 2: One, Beverly the dinosaur? Is that what she says? No,
Speaker 2: she didn't think of one. She couldn't think of one.
Speaker 2: She's like, I can't think of one. Scarlet to your hand, scarlet,
Speaker 2: you're handsmen. It's a black widow one. I would just
Speaker 2: name it oison. That isn't either of the twins Elizabeth
Speaker 2: Oh also red back Spider, a huntsman can a huntsman.
Speaker 2: It sounds like they'd be a huntsman. I would just
Speaker 2: say a reptile. Oh, you're thinking snow white and the
Speaker 2: huntsman cane togd. The thing about Dakota is that she
Speaker 2: quite goes with Madam Webb as a conceptual project because
Speaker 2: the thing about Madam Webb is that somebody was sitting
Speaker 2: around a table and they went, we need something for
Speaker 2: the women in that. We keep making these superhero movies
Speaker 2: and they're just they're very dominated by men produced to
Speaker 2: LITTERA is going to look up. Madam Webb's power is
Speaker 2: that that's not related. Okay, so apparently Madam Webber can
Speaker 2: see the future like a psychic. Just make a film
Speaker 2: about psychics. That's not related to spidering. That's an issue. No,
Speaker 2: it's like eat your prey or something. Yeah, like a
Speaker 2: real spider. It sounds really really bad, but Dakota goes
Speaker 2: with it because clearly Room of lazy Riders and they went, oh,
Speaker 2: who can we get who just doesn't give a fuck, Dakota.
Speaker 4: I'll do it.
Speaker 2: She's pray good nights before anyway. You know things are
Speaker 2: bad when you read the following headline. Dakota Johnson fired
Speaker 2: her agent immediately after Madam Webb's trailer drop. So it
Speaker 2: starts showing in cinemas and it's not a comedy that
Speaker 2: they're audible laughs ahhu. It has been described as an
Speaker 2: origin story for a comic book character no one asked for.
Speaker 2: It's been called dumb and schlonky as the worst of
Speaker 2: the genre, and it debuted with a twelve percent rating
Speaker 2: on Rotten Tomatrow Love Claire. That's when the press tour started.
Speaker 2: Oh if you thought the Fifty Shades press tour was chaotic,
Speaker 2: enter my dumb. My favorite is when they go on
Speaker 2: to press you and then somebody asked them. They're like,
Speaker 2: what do you think about the response to film? And
Speaker 2: they're like, what response. Three of the actors, one of
Speaker 2: them is Sidney Sweeney, joked about how Dakota left them
Speaker 2: on Red and then Dakota was like, nah, they excluded
Speaker 2: me from the group. Chat ha ha ha, And then
Speaker 2: she was like ha ha ha. I love them, but
Speaker 2: they really annoy me, that's a quote.
Speaker 4: How did you actually like your gen Z cast members,
Speaker 4: your co stars?
Speaker 3: I love them, yeah, and they annoy me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love them, but they really annoyed me. And
Speaker 2: then there was a literal earthquake. Did dream the press conference?
Speaker 1: Haha?
Speaker 2: And I swear to God, she was like, please make
Speaker 2: this be a fucking ten. Let me out of this building.
Speaker 2: Let me show you how she reacted to the actual earthquake.
Speaker 3: You would have loved to have protecting these younger women.
Speaker 4: Is that an earthquake?
Speaker 3: Okay, we're just on an earthquake. Did you just do that?
Speaker 3: Did I?
Speaker 1: You know what's gonna happen?
Speaker 3: Do you like that we all just sat here? This
Speaker 3: is yeah, that was like very like fabulous. That was fabulous.
Speaker 3: You're just an earthquake, okay, and we're just gonna move
Speaker 3: on continuing.
Speaker 2: It's very leave me alone. I'm just asleep. It's very bad.
Speaker 2: And it's like, this is why don't get out of
Speaker 2: bed because there's an earthquake?
Speaker 1: Drough my interview.
Speaker 2: I was just trying to answer the question there it
Speaker 2: was an earthquake. You know how I've heard people described
Speaker 2: as unflappable, and I've never understood that word before, but
Speaker 2: Dakota Johnson simply cannot be flat. You are n oppressed.
Speaker 2: You are for one of the worst movies in recent
Speaker 2: memory about which you are being slammed as an individual.
Speaker 2: And there is currently an earthquak. There's currently an earthquake,
Speaker 2: and you could tell when the interviewer made a joke like,
Speaker 2: oh did you do that? And I swear She's like,
Speaker 2: just madam, make earthquakes. She's like, did I how to
Speaker 2: earthquakes work? This is why it's hard being an fo baby,
Speaker 2: because we get confused thinking we have the power to
Speaker 2: make earthquakes. By this point, everyone is saying out loud
Speaker 2: this movie it's not good, and Dakota is like, look,
Speaker 2: I know it's fucking mad. In a profile with Bustle,
Speaker 2: she admitted that she's across the response and she will
Speaker 2: never do anything like it again. All Right, I don't
Speaker 2: think anything like it will be made. I'm not surprised.
Speaker 2: I'm not surprised that this has gone down the way
Speaker 2: it has. She claimed. It was definitely an experience for
Speaker 2: me to make that movie. I'd never done anything like
Speaker 2: it before, and I will probably never do anything like
Speaker 2: it again because I don't make sense, Well, it's not
Speaker 2: nice to be part of something that's tripped to shreds.
Speaker 2: But I can't say that. I don't understand, she continued.
Speaker 2: Sometimes in this industry, you sign onto something and it's
Speaker 2: one thing, and then as you're making it becomes a
Speaker 2: totally different thing, and you're like, wait what she said?
Speaker 2: It was creativity made by committee, and executives are doing
Speaker 2: things based on an algorithm, and she's like, this movie
Speaker 2: has been humshit. She skipped the premiere to go and
Speaker 2: have dinner. She says she doesn't know when she'll see it,
Speaker 2: but maybe and I quote they.
Speaker 1: No fucks given.
Speaker 2: Okay, I agree that sometimes you sign on to a
Speaker 2: project and by the end it's something very different.
Speaker 4: You and I.
Speaker 2: You know what I was thinking during this. Now, I
Speaker 2: wasn't going to bring it up on the podcast because
Speaker 2: you don't want to sound like you relate too much
Speaker 2: to celebrities. But you and I did film a hallow
Speaker 2: Fresh ad, and during the filming of that ad, I went,
Speaker 2: I mean, we could just we could look like it is.
Speaker 2: You could ask me to do and this is what
Speaker 2: happened in Madam Webb. You could cut this. However, you
Speaker 2: and you're asked to do silly things. They said to
Speaker 2: Dakota Johnson that a green screen and there was explosions
Speaker 2: and shed go and she didn't know. She don't know
Speaker 2: what and apparently the CGR whatever it's called special effects.
Speaker 2: Now she looks like an idiot. Yeah, because it looks
Speaker 2: like you're trying too hard with acting in a fake environment.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And it's like if you go, haha, explosion, but it's
Speaker 2: actually a small explosion, you look like you're about actor.
Speaker 2: So I think you don't know when you sign on
Speaker 2: to a movie how it's going to end up. And
Speaker 2: what she's done here is blame everyone else. But I
Speaker 2: have to say that does seem to happen to her
Speaker 2: quite frequently, that she signs onto a project and by
Speaker 2: the end it's something different. I guess the question is,
Speaker 2: are you the common denominator? Maybe her laziness and her
Speaker 2: lack of energy and you know what she does. She's
Speaker 2: one of those people that gets into a group project,
Speaker 2: tunes out, allows group project to be submitted, and then
Speaker 2: says I would have done it different. Yeah, And it's
Speaker 2: like you were present, yeah, and you brought nothing and
Speaker 2: you brought nothing, And we asked what you thought of
Speaker 2: the SCRIPTU, and you said, fine, you hadn't read it.
Speaker 2: This is a quote. Not watching my movies is like
Speaker 2: self care to Johnson, Okay, I want another Madam Web
Speaker 2: just for the press too. Two Madam Press Web, two
Speaker 2: more earthquakes. To listen to that entire episode where we
Speaker 2: talk about when Dakota Johnson dissed the cinematic masterpiece that
Speaker 2: is Fifty Shades of Gray, which was another hilarious press tour,
Speaker 2: just click the link in our show notes, We're recanceling
Speaker 2: three things every week over the summer break, including celebrities,
Speaker 2: TV shows, celebrity couples, and press tours because we need
Speaker 2: to keep the investigations running. You can find videos from
Speaker 2: the podcast and evidence of the celebrity crimes on our Instagram,
Speaker 2: at the Twins Underscore Thoughts, or on TikTok At canceled
Speaker 2: the podcast, Bye