1 00:00:10,327 --> 00:00:13,047 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 2 00:00:13,727 --> 00:00:16,767 Speaker 2: Mamma mea acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:16,807 --> 00:00:23,647 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on Hello, and welcome to 4 00:00:23,687 --> 00:00:26,127 Speaker 2: Mamma Mia out Loud and to our Friday show where 5 00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:28,367 Speaker 2: we take a break from the news cycle and gosh, 6 00:00:28,407 --> 00:00:34,887 Speaker 2: this week it's been quite the news cycle and breathe out. Hello. 7 00:00:35,447 --> 00:00:37,647 Speaker 2: This is my ASMR and I'm trying to make it 8 00:00:37,687 --> 00:00:42,287 Speaker 2: better but still icky. Today is Friday, the thirteenth of September, 9 00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:44,007 Speaker 2: and my name is Holly Wainwright. 10 00:00:44,207 --> 00:00:46,767 Speaker 3: I'm Jesse Stevens, and I'm m Vernon filling in for 11 00:00:46,887 --> 00:00:49,087 Speaker 3: me today. You can normally hear me on our daily 12 00:00:49,207 --> 00:00:52,327 Speaker 3: entertainment podcast, The Spill. 13 00:00:51,607 --> 00:00:55,807 Speaker 2: On today's show are your female friendships being sabotaged by 14 00:00:55,887 --> 00:01:00,087 Speaker 2: affirmation culture? Also make up a book and a Jesse 15 00:01:00,207 --> 00:01:04,287 Speaker 2: endorsed true crime doc o. It's recommendations and our best 16 00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:06,807 Speaker 2: and worst of the week include a pet death, a 17 00:01:06,887 --> 00:01:11,127 Speaker 2: break in, and a dodgy passport picture. But first, Jesse Stevens. 18 00:01:11,527 --> 00:01:14,647 Speaker 4: In case you missed it, Dave Grohl fifty five has 19 00:01:14,687 --> 00:01:18,287 Speaker 4: fathered a child outside his twenty one year marriage, and 20 00:01:18,327 --> 00:01:20,127 Speaker 4: we know this because he posted about it. 21 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:24,047 Speaker 2: On Instagram. Why did he post about it on Instagram? 22 00:01:24,407 --> 00:01:25,967 Speaker 4: His wife was holding a gun to his headit. I 23 00:01:25,967 --> 00:01:27,647 Speaker 4: don't have evidence of that, but that was the sense 24 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:30,887 Speaker 4: I had. The lead singer of the Foo Fighters shared 25 00:01:30,927 --> 00:01:33,647 Speaker 4: a tile to his one point five million followers on 26 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,967 Speaker 4: Wednesday that read, I've recently become the father of a 27 00:01:37,007 --> 00:01:40,287 Speaker 4: new baby daughter born outside of my marriage. I planned 28 00:01:40,327 --> 00:01:42,287 Speaker 4: to be a loving and supportive parent to her. I 29 00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:44,567 Speaker 4: love my wife and my children. I'm doing everything I 30 00:01:44,607 --> 00:01:47,647 Speaker 4: can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness. We're 31 00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:51,127 Speaker 4: grateful for your consideration towards all the children involved as 32 00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:54,807 Speaker 4: we move forward together. Grohl and his wife Jordan Bloom 33 00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:59,127 Speaker 4: have three children together, the eldest of which is eighteen. Holly, 34 00:01:59,127 --> 00:02:00,447 Speaker 4: are you shocked by this news? 35 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:05,207 Speaker 2: It's just embarrassing. I can't overstate how much gen X 36 00:02:05,287 --> 00:02:06,887 Speaker 2: men love the Foo Fighters. 37 00:02:06,567 --> 00:02:09,607 Speaker 3: Right, Oh, Foo Fighters. So I had to look him up, yeah, 38 00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:10,727 Speaker 3: because I didn't know who he was. 39 00:02:10,847 --> 00:02:12,527 Speaker 4: He didn't know who Dave Grohl was. 40 00:02:12,687 --> 00:02:15,447 Speaker 2: He was in Nirvana with Kirk Cobbain. Oh so he's 41 00:02:15,567 --> 00:02:17,967 Speaker 2: old school, Yeah yeah, old school cool. So he was 42 00:02:17,967 --> 00:02:20,047 Speaker 2: in Nirvana with Kirk Cobain and then he went on 43 00:02:20,087 --> 00:02:23,047 Speaker 2: to form The Food Fighters, who are an enormously successful band. Obviously, 44 00:02:23,087 --> 00:02:27,527 Speaker 2: but like gen X, white dudes love the Food Fighters 45 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:30,287 Speaker 2: so much and I don't. It's like that Church. 46 00:02:30,407 --> 00:02:32,247 Speaker 4: I don't know a heap about him, but my gut, 47 00:02:32,327 --> 00:02:33,927 Speaker 4: you know how we have our bad men radar and 48 00:02:34,007 --> 00:02:35,767 Speaker 4: like we have, you know, a gut feel. I had 49 00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:38,087 Speaker 4: a relatively good feel about date he has. 50 00:02:38,207 --> 00:02:40,807 Speaker 2: Well, there's a little Taylor Swift problem, but apart from that, 51 00:02:41,447 --> 00:02:44,887 Speaker 2: he's generally been seen as a good dude, came through 52 00:02:44,927 --> 00:02:47,847 Speaker 2: a difficult time. Blah blah blah blah blah. This is 53 00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:50,767 Speaker 2: so embarrassing. What's embarrassing about this is fifty five year 54 00:02:50,767 --> 00:02:53,967 Speaker 2: old men should not be posting apology declarations like this 55 00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:57,407 Speaker 2: on social media. They don't understand it, they don't do 56 00:02:57,487 --> 00:03:01,607 Speaker 2: it right. It's just mortifying. Keep it to yourself, Dave. 57 00:03:01,927 --> 00:03:05,087 Speaker 3: What I find more embarrassing is the type of post, 58 00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:07,567 Speaker 3: because it's not a note at post. It looks like 59 00:03:07,607 --> 00:03:08,607 Speaker 3: he made it on candy. 60 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,687 Speaker 4: This is what i'mstand I was. 61 00:03:10,687 --> 00:03:12,727 Speaker 3: Looking at the rest of his grid, and he liked 62 00:03:12,727 --> 00:03:15,127 Speaker 3: to do a lot of personal essays. Black font a 63 00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:18,447 Speaker 3: white background, so he had to fit his aesthetic. He 64 00:03:18,487 --> 00:03:19,927 Speaker 3: had to be like, I'll do the post, but just 65 00:03:20,007 --> 00:03:22,167 Speaker 3: let me work on the creative outlet's mortifying. 66 00:03:22,247 --> 00:03:24,047 Speaker 2: The other thing that's worth noting is so he has 67 00:03:24,127 --> 00:03:27,447 Speaker 2: quite a very well selling memoir called Storytellers that's like 68 00:03:27,487 --> 00:03:30,327 Speaker 2: Collections of writing and whatever. It's coming out with a 69 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:34,287 Speaker 2: new edition in October. And the sound we can probably 70 00:03:34,287 --> 00:03:38,007 Speaker 2: hear the publicists and the publishers scrambling to be like, 71 00:03:38,047 --> 00:03:41,127 Speaker 2: how do we incorporate this horror? Some people are very 72 00:03:41,207 --> 00:03:43,487 Speaker 2: upset about it, and some people say it's Swifty's revenge, 73 00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:45,087 Speaker 2: because you're right, Jesse, I've always thought he was a 74 00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:47,207 Speaker 2: nice guy, but that he made a dig at her 75 00:03:47,807 --> 00:03:48,447 Speaker 2: about like. 76 00:03:48,607 --> 00:03:53,087 Speaker 3: He said she actually had to we actually play live. Yes, yeah, 77 00:03:53,207 --> 00:03:53,527 Speaker 3: that was it. 78 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,807 Speaker 2: That was it, Dave. 79 00:03:56,127 --> 00:03:58,167 Speaker 4: Well, look, we're not here for the you know, the 80 00:03:58,207 --> 00:04:00,487 Speaker 4: still a little gossip. What we do here is work 81 00:04:00,527 --> 00:04:01,327 Speaker 4: cultural commentation. 82 00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:02,687 Speaker 2: That is exactly what we do here. 83 00:04:02,967 --> 00:04:05,447 Speaker 4: We notice an unpacked cultural trends and this reminded me 84 00:04:05,527 --> 00:04:07,807 Speaker 4: of a social phenomena that I've seen reported on lately, 85 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:10,207 Speaker 4: and it's very serious and I like you both. 86 00:04:10,247 --> 00:04:10,607 Speaker 2: Listener. 87 00:04:11,327 --> 00:04:13,927 Speaker 4: There was an article on Mama Maya with the headline 88 00:04:14,127 --> 00:04:18,047 Speaker 4: Cosey Lives means no one can afford secret second family. 89 00:04:20,207 --> 00:04:23,087 Speaker 2: And when is our rule is being hit by that? 90 00:04:23,247 --> 00:04:26,567 Speaker 4: Exactly? It gets all of us. When is Albo going 91 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,687 Speaker 4: to address that in front of parliament? Is my question. 92 00:04:29,247 --> 00:04:32,527 Speaker 4: The theory originated on Twitter and TikTok, and it's based 93 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,767 Speaker 4: largely on vibes. They believe that there are less second 94 00:04:35,807 --> 00:04:38,087 Speaker 4: families than there were in say, the eighties and nineties. 95 00:04:38,647 --> 00:04:43,567 Speaker 4: Some tweets read bring back affordable second families. Most people 96 00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:46,527 Speaker 4: can't even afford half a family. There are calls for 97 00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:50,607 Speaker 4: an academic paper to be written on the decline privilege. 98 00:04:50,647 --> 00:04:52,847 Speaker 2: Isn't it that he can afford to have this second 99 00:04:52,847 --> 00:04:54,047 Speaker 2: family privilege? 100 00:04:54,087 --> 00:04:54,207 Speaker 4: Oh? 101 00:04:54,247 --> 00:04:56,727 Speaker 3: Yeah, generations are going to get that. 102 00:04:57,007 --> 00:05:00,087 Speaker 4: Exactly right, I reckon. Maybe that's why Dave had to post, 103 00:05:00,087 --> 00:05:04,087 Speaker 4: because he's probably got a CROWDFUNDI second family. How am 104 00:05:04,127 --> 00:05:05,207 Speaker 4: I going to support them? 105 00:05:05,367 --> 00:05:07,367 Speaker 2: I know we should not laugh because there are real 106 00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:13,847 Speaker 2: people affected by this, but we think about your female friendships. 107 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:16,887 Speaker 2: If you vent in real life in your group chat 108 00:05:16,927 --> 00:05:20,367 Speaker 2: about your relationship, do you expect that your good friends 109 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:23,207 Speaker 2: will say, yeah, babe, you're so right there being a 110 00:05:23,247 --> 00:05:27,047 Speaker 2: total dig. Don't beat yourself up about that. If you 111 00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:29,167 Speaker 2: vent in real life or in your group chat about 112 00:05:29,207 --> 00:05:32,287 Speaker 2: your boss, do you expect that your female friends will say, yes, 113 00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:34,967 Speaker 2: they sound like a complete idiot. They don't know how 114 00:05:35,047 --> 00:05:37,607 Speaker 2: lucky they are to have you. And if you vent 115 00:05:37,687 --> 00:05:39,727 Speaker 2: about your kid or your parents in real life or 116 00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:41,447 Speaker 2: in your group chat, do you expect them to say, 117 00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:44,607 Speaker 2: it's so hard, DHL, you're doing a great job. I 118 00:05:44,647 --> 00:05:46,527 Speaker 2: think the answer to all of those things. 119 00:05:46,327 --> 00:05:47,447 Speaker 4: Is yes, absolutely yes. 120 00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:51,407 Speaker 2: My answer is absolutely yes, And if yours is too, 121 00:05:51,447 --> 00:05:55,727 Speaker 2: then your friendships might have been infected with affirmation culture. 122 00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:58,927 Speaker 2: As expressed in an article in The Cut by Catherine 123 00:05:59,047 --> 00:06:03,607 Speaker 2: jesse morton affirmation culture, This idea is that the lens 124 00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:07,007 Speaker 2: that we view the world through is mostly filtered by 125 00:06:07,087 --> 00:06:09,687 Speaker 2: the idea that us women because it's mostly women who 126 00:06:09,687 --> 00:06:12,007 Speaker 2: are part of this culture. Apparently, we have a lot 127 00:06:12,007 --> 00:06:16,567 Speaker 2: to deal with in this world, and we're usually treated unfairly, 128 00:06:17,247 --> 00:06:20,407 Speaker 2: and the bar is higher off et cetera, et cetera, 129 00:06:20,487 --> 00:06:23,687 Speaker 2: et cetera. And so within our groups of female friendship, 130 00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:28,087 Speaker 2: we need our view validated and we need support and 131 00:06:28,207 --> 00:06:31,967 Speaker 2: validation and recognition. A sign of good friendship, of loyalty 132 00:06:32,247 --> 00:06:35,527 Speaker 2: is being on your side no matter what we want. 133 00:06:35,527 --> 00:06:37,847 Speaker 2: Our groups to hold us up, not hold us accountable 134 00:06:37,847 --> 00:06:40,287 Speaker 2: for things that we, god forbid, might have fucked up 135 00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:45,447 Speaker 2: for ourselves. But apparently this isn't good for us. M. 136 00:06:45,607 --> 00:06:48,647 Speaker 2: Do you recognize affirmation culture in your friend group? 137 00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:51,487 Speaker 3: Yes, I have a lot of affirmation friends. I am 138 00:06:51,487 --> 00:06:54,127 Speaker 3: not one of them. What I'm an anti affirmationer? 139 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:58,087 Speaker 2: I thought you were very yes girl slave, etc. 140 00:06:58,567 --> 00:07:01,847 Speaker 3: I yeah, yes, girls say. I am the kind of 141 00:07:01,887 --> 00:07:05,367 Speaker 3: friend that wants the best for my friends, but it's 142 00:07:05,407 --> 00:07:07,647 Speaker 3: not unconditional, as in, like, I want the best for 143 00:07:07,767 --> 00:07:10,607 Speaker 3: my friends, but if I feel like the affirmations won't 144 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,607 Speaker 3: give them the best outcome they want, I will be 145 00:07:12,687 --> 00:07:13,447 Speaker 3: that person. 146 00:07:13,207 --> 00:07:13,687 Speaker 2: To tell you. 147 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:17,887 Speaker 4: So, Okay, we're out to dinner and I say complaints 148 00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:21,367 Speaker 4: about my husband. He leaves his towel on the floor 149 00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:24,007 Speaker 4: and it's wet, and then I have to pick it up. 150 00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:25,567 Speaker 4: Go what do you say? 151 00:07:25,687 --> 00:07:27,447 Speaker 3: I say, you need to talk to him about this. 152 00:07:27,607 --> 00:07:29,327 Speaker 3: I'm not going to be that friend to be like, 153 00:07:29,687 --> 00:07:33,887 Speaker 3: oh that sucks, let's go order some dessert. Oh my goodness, 154 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,167 Speaker 3: I need to break this because I want the best 155 00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:38,447 Speaker 3: outcome for your life, because that's my job as a friend. 156 00:07:38,527 --> 00:07:40,847 Speaker 3: Is I care? I care? I want you to fix this. 157 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,567 Speaker 3: You're breaking with social contract, I know, but I do 158 00:07:43,647 --> 00:07:47,207 Speaker 3: have rules for being the anti affirmation friend. So it's 159 00:07:47,207 --> 00:07:49,207 Speaker 3: always like, if you just want to vent to me, 160 00:07:49,407 --> 00:07:51,767 Speaker 3: I will be that like sounding board. But if you 161 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:54,367 Speaker 3: actually want advice I ask, I'll be like, do you 162 00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:55,927 Speaker 3: want to know what I really think? Or do you 163 00:07:55,927 --> 00:07:56,567 Speaker 3: just want to vent to me? 164 00:07:56,687 --> 00:07:59,967 Speaker 2: Oh? This is very good. She's very evolved because it's true. 165 00:08:00,007 --> 00:08:02,647 Speaker 2: I do not want criticism unless I've asked for it. 166 00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:04,567 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I never do it in a group chat. 167 00:08:05,087 --> 00:08:07,487 Speaker 3: So my friends know because they know that I'm the 168 00:08:07,527 --> 00:08:09,727 Speaker 3: anti affirmation. If they're complaining about some thing and they're 169 00:08:09,727 --> 00:08:12,047 Speaker 3: wanting advice, they know I have something to say because 170 00:08:12,047 --> 00:08:13,567 Speaker 3: I'll just stay silent and I'll just read all their 171 00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:16,327 Speaker 3: messages and then i'll message them separately. And I don't 172 00:08:16,327 --> 00:08:18,367 Speaker 3: actually message. It's always a voice note because I don't 173 00:08:18,407 --> 00:08:19,927 Speaker 3: think it comes across well in message. 174 00:08:20,287 --> 00:08:24,327 Speaker 2: So hold on back to role play. I'm in your 175 00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:27,487 Speaker 2: group chat, and I'm going my boss is a bitch 176 00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:30,927 Speaker 2: isn't here, So let's go. I'm saying my boss is 177 00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:32,727 Speaker 2: a bitch, or my husband's a dick, or my kid's 178 00:08:32,727 --> 00:08:36,047 Speaker 2: an asshole or whatever. All the other girls are going yeah. 179 00:08:35,847 --> 00:08:39,767 Speaker 4: Slay, yeah, yes that's or just like a little thumbs, 180 00:08:41,607 --> 00:08:44,767 Speaker 4: I know you're not saying anything. 181 00:08:44,847 --> 00:08:46,887 Speaker 2: And then the next thing that happens is in my 182 00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:49,087 Speaker 2: I get a voice note from you. 183 00:08:49,127 --> 00:08:50,927 Speaker 3: I get a message first saying do you want my 184 00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,047 Speaker 3: actual thoughts right? 185 00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,127 Speaker 2: And then I get a voice note from you that 186 00:08:54,327 --> 00:08:56,927 Speaker 2: might say, have you considered that the reason that your 187 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,607 Speaker 2: boss is a bitch is because you're not very good 188 00:08:58,607 --> 00:08:59,087 Speaker 2: at your job? 189 00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:01,607 Speaker 3: Is that what's gonna happen? I'm not mean so, but 190 00:09:01,687 --> 00:09:03,887 Speaker 3: I will bring up stuff like, hey, maybe she acted 191 00:09:03,927 --> 00:09:06,047 Speaker 3: this way because you did say this to her. 192 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,847 Speaker 4: And is that one you honestly want? So let's say 193 00:09:10,087 --> 00:09:11,887 Speaker 4: you know, you've talked on the show before about dating, 194 00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:14,567 Speaker 4: and you're sitting there going, oh, my goodness, he hasn't 195 00:09:14,607 --> 00:09:18,087 Speaker 4: messaged me back. It's just bullshit because he really led 196 00:09:18,127 --> 00:09:21,047 Speaker 4: me on with blah blah blah. What do you want 197 00:09:21,087 --> 00:09:22,767 Speaker 4: from your friends? Because do you want your friends to 198 00:09:22,807 --> 00:09:24,447 Speaker 4: be like, okay, sounds like a dick, You're out of 199 00:09:24,447 --> 00:09:26,287 Speaker 4: his league, you're too good for him, blah blah blah, 200 00:09:26,287 --> 00:09:29,287 Speaker 4: there's a script I'll read from it, y, or do 201 00:09:29,327 --> 00:09:32,007 Speaker 4: you want them to be like you know actually, well, 202 00:09:32,007 --> 00:09:34,087 Speaker 4: why don't you message first or do you want like 203 00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:35,407 Speaker 4: active advice. 204 00:09:35,687 --> 00:09:38,647 Speaker 3: That's where I struggle because all of my friends are 205 00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:42,247 Speaker 3: affirmation friends, so I'm the one that isn't. So they 206 00:09:42,287 --> 00:09:44,327 Speaker 3: come to me for that one thing that they need. 207 00:09:44,807 --> 00:09:46,727 Speaker 3: Was I have to train one of my friends to 208 00:09:46,807 --> 00:09:48,447 Speaker 3: be the anti affirmation friend for me. 209 00:09:48,727 --> 00:09:50,967 Speaker 2: Do you literally do am I the asshole? Like you 210 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,367 Speaker 2: know what I mean? So you'll be this guy isn't 211 00:09:53,407 --> 00:09:56,047 Speaker 2: calling me or whatever it is, blah blah blah, tell 212 00:09:56,087 --> 00:09:56,767 Speaker 2: me what I'm doing. 213 00:09:57,007 --> 00:10:00,087 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm the commenter. That's like the top comment way. 214 00:10:00,127 --> 00:10:01,927 Speaker 3: Either tell them that the asshole or that they're not 215 00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:03,287 Speaker 3: see Jesse. 216 00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:07,647 Speaker 4: The thing is, I know I'm the asshole. Yes, there's 217 00:10:07,727 --> 00:10:09,847 Speaker 4: no doubt. If you think I don't have the self 218 00:10:09,847 --> 00:10:13,887 Speaker 4: awareness to know that I am delusional most of the time, 219 00:10:14,127 --> 00:10:17,447 Speaker 4: you're very wrong. I know that I'm not being fair 220 00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:22,367 Speaker 4: right now in my venting. But there is so much 221 00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:30,207 Speaker 4: argument and tension and conflict in my life generally like online, 222 00:10:30,527 --> 00:10:32,407 Speaker 4: you know, disagreement, all that kind of stuff that when 223 00:10:32,447 --> 00:10:37,567 Speaker 4: I'm sitting with my girlfriends and I start to unleash 224 00:10:37,807 --> 00:10:40,727 Speaker 4: or I start to complain or talk about some story 225 00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:46,327 Speaker 4: I just want them to slay. Yes, Queen, that's all 226 00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:46,727 Speaker 4: I want. 227 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,367 Speaker 3: So you know you're the asshole, which I think most 228 00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:53,247 Speaker 3: people do, but I think that one friend quote unquote 229 00:10:53,247 --> 00:10:54,807 Speaker 3: confirming it makes it real. 230 00:10:55,127 --> 00:10:55,327 Speaker 4: Yeah. 231 00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:57,687 Speaker 2: I don't really want that, and I want people do it. 232 00:10:57,727 --> 00:10:59,207 Speaker 4: I've sat there with a group of girlfriends and I've 233 00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:00,927 Speaker 4: had one friend who's kind of like, Okay, let some 234 00:11:00,967 --> 00:11:03,407 Speaker 4: I'm talking about work and they'll be like, well, yeah, 235 00:11:03,447 --> 00:11:05,527 Speaker 4: your boss is probably like that because let me guess 236 00:11:05,527 --> 00:11:07,687 Speaker 4: you're late or something. And I'm like, I don't need 237 00:11:07,687 --> 00:11:11,527 Speaker 4: this kind of Saturday night, but you actually do. 238 00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:14,647 Speaker 3: You need one person to do that for you, because 239 00:11:14,647 --> 00:11:17,167 Speaker 3: you need one person to have your best interest at heart. 240 00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,807 Speaker 3: And that's all I am. I just care. 241 00:11:19,047 --> 00:11:21,127 Speaker 2: I find this very tricky because Jesse, you and I 242 00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:23,647 Speaker 2: are similar in this way. I'm very sensitive to criticism, 243 00:11:23,727 --> 00:11:26,127 Speaker 2: and I like to tell myself that the reason I 244 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:30,247 Speaker 2: am is because my self critic is ferocious. So I'm like, 245 00:11:30,807 --> 00:11:32,887 Speaker 2: there's nothing that you guys are going to tell me 246 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:36,367 Speaker 2: that I don't already know that. Like, everything I'm doing 247 00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:38,407 Speaker 2: is shit, and I'm doing a terrible job of everything, 248 00:11:38,687 --> 00:11:40,807 Speaker 2: and I'm an idiot and I'm a terrible parent and 249 00:11:40,847 --> 00:11:42,967 Speaker 2: I'm really bad writer and dah da da dah. So like, 250 00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:44,927 Speaker 2: I don't need you to tell people. 251 00:11:44,927 --> 00:11:46,527 Speaker 3: What if I message both of you and I'm like, 252 00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:48,887 Speaker 3: it's like two am. So you're both awake, just awake, 253 00:11:48,967 --> 00:11:52,327 Speaker 3: you're not falling asleep, And I'm like, hey, guys, I'm 254 00:11:52,327 --> 00:11:55,127 Speaker 3: doing something really crazy. I'm about to go over to 255 00:11:55,207 --> 00:11:56,007 Speaker 3: a guy's house. 256 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,247 Speaker 2: Oh no, I'll say no. 257 00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:59,327 Speaker 3: I think he has a girlfriend as well, but I 258 00:11:59,407 --> 00:12:00,727 Speaker 3: just really really like him. 259 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,527 Speaker 2: Oh no, no, I'll say no about that. 260 00:12:02,807 --> 00:12:05,207 Speaker 4: I agree, I would say no. We're sitting around at 261 00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:07,767 Speaker 4: dinner on a Saturday night after you've done it. Yes, 262 00:12:07,887 --> 00:12:10,767 Speaker 4: I am going, well, you know, but his girlfriends now, shit, 263 00:12:11,127 --> 00:12:12,847 Speaker 4: that's what I'm doing because you've aready done it. 264 00:12:13,447 --> 00:12:19,327 Speaker 2: That is an important distinction because if it's for advice, explicitly, 265 00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:22,087 Speaker 2: should I go over to his house? I'm going to 266 00:12:22,127 --> 00:12:24,887 Speaker 2: tell you the truth. Okay, No, you shouldn't, and if 267 00:12:24,927 --> 00:12:28,007 Speaker 2: you do, don't fucking come winching to. 268 00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:28,567 Speaker 3: Me about it. 269 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:31,807 Speaker 2: But if you've done it, I am going to make 270 00:12:31,807 --> 00:12:34,247 Speaker 2: you feel better about that decision. I'm going to be like, 271 00:12:34,807 --> 00:12:37,647 Speaker 2: that's okay, babe. We all do stupid things. Something like 272 00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,527 Speaker 2: I'm definitely affirmation. 273 00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:41,567 Speaker 3: And you don't think because if you say that, I'm 274 00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:43,247 Speaker 3: going to be like, Okay, I've got approval. I can 275 00:12:43,287 --> 00:12:43,887 Speaker 3: just do it again. 276 00:12:44,007 --> 00:12:46,207 Speaker 4: But I think people do what they want. I think 277 00:12:46,647 --> 00:12:49,767 Speaker 4: I think that we pretend to ask for advice because 278 00:12:49,927 --> 00:12:52,887 Speaker 4: otherwise it feels like we're just monologuing, which is what 279 00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:53,207 Speaker 4: we are. 280 00:12:53,927 --> 00:12:57,127 Speaker 2: Sometimes I actually want advice. Sometimes I'll be like, what 281 00:12:57,167 --> 00:13:00,007 Speaker 2: should I do about this? And then I'll listen to 282 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,287 Speaker 2: your advice and I'll probably ignore it, but I won't 283 00:13:02,327 --> 00:13:04,887 Speaker 2: file it away somewhere and go, Okay, that's cool. 284 00:13:04,927 --> 00:13:08,007 Speaker 4: Same. I was actually reading something this week about something 285 00:13:08,047 --> 00:13:11,007 Speaker 4: called the rage friend, and it was about how it's 286 00:13:11,047 --> 00:13:14,767 Speaker 4: actually psychologically quite healthy to have a rage friend. And 287 00:13:14,847 --> 00:13:19,007 Speaker 4: in fact, this writer her name is Annya Meyowitz, and 288 00:13:19,047 --> 00:13:21,007 Speaker 4: she talked about how not only does she have a 289 00:13:21,087 --> 00:13:23,727 Speaker 4: rage friend, but she has the rage chat with that friend, 290 00:13:24,047 --> 00:13:26,327 Speaker 4: so over on the right here she can be talking 291 00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,647 Speaker 4: about their plans for the weekend and then something enrages 292 00:13:28,687 --> 00:13:30,887 Speaker 4: her and that only goes in the rage chat, so 293 00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:34,447 Speaker 4: there's just a steady stream of raging. I was thinking 294 00:13:34,487 --> 00:13:37,487 Speaker 4: about it in that context. I think my sister's probably 295 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:42,967 Speaker 4: my rage friend. If I am raging and someone wants 296 00:13:42,967 --> 00:13:46,207 Speaker 4: to not affirm that rage that I am very, very grumpy. 297 00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:48,407 Speaker 4: It's like I need people in my life where I 298 00:13:48,407 --> 00:13:56,367 Speaker 4: can be completely irrational, illogical, just stream of consciousness crap 299 00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:58,727 Speaker 4: coming out of my mouth and they just hear me. 300 00:13:58,967 --> 00:14:01,007 Speaker 4: I don't stand by anything I said. I don't even 301 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,287 Speaker 4: agree with what I said yesterday, but I think that 302 00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:07,407 Speaker 4: there is something psychologically healthy about just having that outlet. 303 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,167 Speaker 4: Do you guys have a rage friend? 304 00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:12,327 Speaker 3: I think affirmation friends can be rage friends, but I 305 00:14:12,327 --> 00:14:14,887 Speaker 3: think if you're like me, an anti affirmation friend, you 306 00:14:14,927 --> 00:14:17,647 Speaker 3: lose the right to be the rage friend. Like I 307 00:14:17,727 --> 00:14:20,647 Speaker 3: noticed that my friends do stop venting to me because 308 00:14:20,647 --> 00:14:22,847 Speaker 3: they know I'm just gonna come back with something to say. 309 00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:24,607 Speaker 2: You can to stop them in their tracks. I think 310 00:14:24,607 --> 00:14:25,887 Speaker 2: she's not gonna get all the gossip. 311 00:14:26,207 --> 00:14:29,767 Speaker 3: No, you're fo but I do eventually get the gossip 312 00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:31,407 Speaker 3: when it's blown out too much and they're like, am 313 00:14:31,487 --> 00:14:31,967 Speaker 3: I actually? 314 00:14:32,327 --> 00:14:37,167 Speaker 2: Actually, I was thinking about why we've evolved into affirmation 315 00:14:37,407 --> 00:14:40,087 Speaker 2: culture friend groups because I think it's probably never been 316 00:14:40,127 --> 00:14:41,767 Speaker 2: truer than it is now. And I think that you 317 00:14:41,887 --> 00:14:44,167 Speaker 2: struck on something before, Jesse, when you said the world 318 00:14:44,287 --> 00:14:48,647 Speaker 2: is so full of criticism and bitching. And then I 319 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:51,247 Speaker 2: also thought about it in the context of my teenage 320 00:14:51,327 --> 00:14:54,247 Speaker 2: daughter who talks to me about her friendship dynamics and 321 00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:58,687 Speaker 2: she's learning what female friendship groups are like, right, And 322 00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:01,687 Speaker 2: sometimes she'll say to me, this person's always so mean 323 00:15:01,727 --> 00:15:04,607 Speaker 2: to me and says, you know, criticizes everything about me, 324 00:15:04,647 --> 00:15:07,287 Speaker 2: from my voice to the way I sat today, or 325 00:15:07,327 --> 00:15:10,527 Speaker 2: my shoes or whatever. I'll say to her, you know, 326 00:15:10,607 --> 00:15:14,687 Speaker 2: real friends don't do that. Am I breathing affirmation culture 327 00:15:14,727 --> 00:15:17,567 Speaker 2: in her? Because I genuinely believe that real friends don't 328 00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:20,127 Speaker 2: do that. Real friends might call you out on something 329 00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:22,207 Speaker 2: that's bad for you, but they're not like sitting there 330 00:15:22,247 --> 00:15:25,607 Speaker 2: picking your part. Well, yeah, but I think that many 331 00:15:25,647 --> 00:15:28,127 Speaker 2: of us have had those experiences in our lives as 332 00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:32,127 Speaker 2: we've you know, been teenagers or learned about dynamics, and 333 00:15:32,167 --> 00:15:35,527 Speaker 2: so that's why I think we believe the markers of 334 00:15:35,527 --> 00:15:37,047 Speaker 2: our mates is like, they'll never do. 335 00:15:37,087 --> 00:15:42,567 Speaker 4: That, because there's something about affirmation culture that is socially 336 00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:46,127 Speaker 4: and emotionally intelligent, right, which you're talking about too, is 337 00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:48,727 Speaker 4: like you can tell when they just want you to agree, 338 00:15:48,767 --> 00:15:51,887 Speaker 4: and women are very good at subtle cues. At going 339 00:15:52,087 --> 00:15:54,607 Speaker 4: she just wants me not in smile and offered to 340 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,687 Speaker 4: buy her a drink, and then I will do that. 341 00:15:57,087 --> 00:16:00,687 Speaker 4: But what women put up with a lot is blaming 342 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:04,687 Speaker 4: themselves or being blamed for situations that they find themselves in. 343 00:16:04,727 --> 00:16:06,167 Speaker 4: I mean, I know, earlier in the week, on a 344 00:16:06,247 --> 00:16:08,647 Speaker 4: very serious note, we talked about the French court case, 345 00:16:09,487 --> 00:16:12,527 Speaker 4: and in that court case, the defense team are finding 346 00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:15,687 Speaker 4: ways to blame a woman for her own assault, right, 347 00:16:16,127 --> 00:16:18,647 Speaker 4: And we see that all the time. So if I 348 00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:22,367 Speaker 4: bring up something that's happened in my life, I'm very 349 00:16:22,527 --> 00:16:24,967 Speaker 4: primed to feel like I'm being blamed. Yes, So if 350 00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:27,927 Speaker 4: someone at the table wants to go, oh, well, have 351 00:16:28,007 --> 00:16:30,647 Speaker 4: you thought that's maybe your fault or whatever, It's like, 352 00:16:30,727 --> 00:16:33,527 Speaker 4: oh sorry, yeah, I had absolutely thought that. But I 353 00:16:33,607 --> 00:16:37,887 Speaker 4: need this safe space, this microcosm in my life of 354 00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:43,367 Speaker 4: yes people that just make me feel unconditional support, because 355 00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:44,847 Speaker 4: I guess I don't feel that anywhere else. 356 00:16:45,127 --> 00:16:48,207 Speaker 3: But like with the person who's not the affirmation friend, 357 00:16:48,247 --> 00:16:51,167 Speaker 3: I think, like you said, they will pick that up. Yeah, 358 00:16:51,207 --> 00:16:53,887 Speaker 3: and because they literally the only reason they're the anti 359 00:16:54,007 --> 00:16:57,407 Speaker 3: affirmation friend is that because they just want the best 360 00:16:57,447 --> 00:16:59,647 Speaker 3: possible outcome for you and if they know that you 361 00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:02,327 Speaker 3: just need to be listened to, they will be that person. 362 00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:04,847 Speaker 4: And you know what it is, it's coming from good faith. 363 00:17:05,047 --> 00:17:05,527 Speaker 3: Yeah. 364 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:08,327 Speaker 4: So it's like there's a lot of bad faith criticism 365 00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,927 Speaker 4: and blame and everything going around, especially when it's a 366 00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:13,767 Speaker 4: few you know, steps removed, like on the internet. But 367 00:17:13,887 --> 00:17:17,207 Speaker 4: when you're coming from a good place, people can generally 368 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:18,167 Speaker 4: read that. 369 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,407 Speaker 3: I think one of my guy friends showed me a 370 00:17:20,447 --> 00:17:22,567 Speaker 3: group chat that him with other guys, like I think 371 00:17:22,607 --> 00:17:25,247 Speaker 3: there was about five guys, and he showed me a 372 00:17:25,327 --> 00:17:27,607 Speaker 3: screenshot of this message he sent the group chat when 373 00:17:27,607 --> 00:17:29,887 Speaker 3: he broke up with his girlfriend, and he was like, hey, boys, 374 00:17:29,927 --> 00:17:32,047 Speaker 3: just letting you guys know that me and blah blah 375 00:17:32,047 --> 00:17:35,727 Speaker 3: have broken up just a bit down lately. Three hours later, 376 00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:38,567 Speaker 3: one of the guys replied saying that sucks broke, and 377 00:17:38,687 --> 00:17:40,567 Speaker 3: all the other guys just like that message. 378 00:17:41,087 --> 00:17:42,127 Speaker 2: That's like that. 379 00:17:42,287 --> 00:17:45,047 Speaker 3: I would be that that's like a. 380 00:17:45,007 --> 00:17:48,247 Speaker 2: Good material like Dolly Alderton book, where they're basically like 381 00:17:48,287 --> 00:17:50,767 Speaker 2: there's a script that men follow too. In this way, 382 00:17:50,847 --> 00:17:54,047 Speaker 2: if we're being stereotypical, which is like, oh, that sucks, 383 00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:56,887 Speaker 2: bro we should go to the pub on blah and 384 00:17:56,927 --> 00:17:59,007 Speaker 2: you know that and then we're not expecting to never 385 00:17:59,047 --> 00:18:01,607 Speaker 2: hear about that again. But then I also think we've 386 00:18:01,607 --> 00:18:05,847 Speaker 2: talked about this before. Often male friendship intimacy is characterized 387 00:18:05,847 --> 00:18:09,007 Speaker 2: by constant sledging. Right, We're all good at that too 388 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,647 Speaker 2: with people that we trust and comfortable with. But in general, 389 00:18:11,687 --> 00:18:13,927 Speaker 2: women don't sledge in the same way. It's not like 390 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,847 Speaker 2: I look at you in your stupid dress and you 391 00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:20,727 Speaker 2: I hear I wouldn't cry exactly where very much like that, 392 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,687 Speaker 2: Like what is in that haircut is? Buddy? You know 393 00:18:22,687 --> 00:18:26,087 Speaker 2: what I mean? We don't. We're just women don't generally 394 00:18:26,327 --> 00:18:29,047 Speaker 2: do that. It's not the way we bond. We bond differently. 395 00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:34,647 Speaker 3: It is Friday, so we want to help set up 396 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,687 Speaker 3: your weekend with our best recommendations whole. 397 00:18:38,727 --> 00:18:42,007 Speaker 2: I'm going to recommend two makeup products today, and Jesse 398 00:18:42,127 --> 00:18:44,247 Speaker 2: needs this recommendation as she's going to tell you about 399 00:18:44,287 --> 00:18:48,127 Speaker 2: later in our Best and Worst session. I've spoken before 400 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:49,807 Speaker 2: on the show al though not phrages, about how my 401 00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:54,687 Speaker 2: Holy Grail is foundations that aren't quite foundations, you know, 402 00:18:54,847 --> 00:18:57,447 Speaker 2: like really goodble bases that are light. 403 00:18:57,447 --> 00:18:58,087 Speaker 3: Like a primer. 404 00:18:58,527 --> 00:19:01,847 Speaker 2: Well, no, not like a primer, like a tint because 405 00:19:01,847 --> 00:19:05,767 Speaker 2: as you get older. I always remember some fancy makeup 406 00:19:05,847 --> 00:19:09,447 Speaker 2: lady saying that one of the most age friendly things 407 00:19:09,487 --> 00:19:10,687 Speaker 2: you could do for your skin is to even your 408 00:19:10,687 --> 00:19:13,087 Speaker 2: skin tone right, because your skin tone goes all funny 409 00:19:13,087 --> 00:19:15,567 Speaker 2: as you get older, and mine certainly is a hormonally 410 00:19:15,647 --> 00:19:20,887 Speaker 2: patchy but heavy coverage. Not your friend settles in lines, 411 00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:23,847 Speaker 2: cakes on, hard picks up it and all the texture 412 00:19:23,887 --> 00:19:25,967 Speaker 2: changes that you get with hormones. Anyway, So I love 413 00:19:26,527 --> 00:19:29,487 Speaker 2: really light foundation, but that still does. 414 00:19:29,287 --> 00:19:31,447 Speaker 4: A thing, and good for summer too, very dewey. 415 00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:34,407 Speaker 2: Two good ones that I've been loving lately so hard 416 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,767 Speaker 2: that I'm on empties with them now. One of them 417 00:19:36,807 --> 00:19:40,007 Speaker 2: you can buy a chemist warehouse. It's called Mavala. Mavala 418 00:19:40,047 --> 00:19:42,007 Speaker 2: is a Swiss makeup brand and they're really famous for 419 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:44,527 Speaker 2: their nail polish. They sell it in tiny little bottles 420 00:19:44,847 --> 00:19:47,287 Speaker 2: and it's really really good nail polish, it's true, So 421 00:19:47,367 --> 00:19:49,767 Speaker 2: that's a siderecho. They're only about eight dollars too, those 422 00:19:49,887 --> 00:19:54,367 Speaker 2: nail polishes BONSA. But they do this serum foundation that 423 00:19:54,487 --> 00:19:57,287 Speaker 2: is fifty bucks, so it's not super cheap serum foundation. Yees, 424 00:19:57,527 --> 00:20:00,527 Speaker 2: serum foundation, and so it's really light, but it's just 425 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:04,247 Speaker 2: got the perfect texture for me. Like you know, sometimes 426 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:08,127 Speaker 2: I'll buy even quite an expensive one that's the serum foundation, 427 00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:11,767 Speaker 2: and it'll be two slippery or too oily, or the 428 00:20:11,807 --> 00:20:16,167 Speaker 2: pigment goes patchy with the product. This is like slides 429 00:20:16,247 --> 00:20:17,247 Speaker 2: on like silk. 430 00:20:17,407 --> 00:20:19,167 Speaker 4: Yeah, I get a bit shiny with a few of them. 431 00:20:19,207 --> 00:20:21,367 Speaker 4: I'm a bit of a shiny goal so yeah, not great. 432 00:20:21,607 --> 00:20:23,967 Speaker 2: And the other one, which is a little bit more expensive, 433 00:20:24,007 --> 00:20:27,007 Speaker 2: so I'm sorry everybody, but it is really good. Is 434 00:20:27,047 --> 00:20:32,607 Speaker 2: Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue Skin perfecting tint. Right, so not 435 00:20:32,807 --> 00:20:36,327 Speaker 2: really a foundation, a tint. But I bought this because 436 00:20:36,687 --> 00:20:40,047 Speaker 2: on my constant hunt and Bar Minerals is a good brand. 437 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,367 Speaker 2: They do a really good concealer, and I was like, 438 00:20:42,527 --> 00:20:45,207 Speaker 2: I'm going to try it, and I'm obsessed. I've been 439 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:47,247 Speaker 2: using it every day when I'm not using Mama Vala. 440 00:20:47,327 --> 00:20:47,687 Speaker 2: I like to. 441 00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:50,127 Speaker 3: Mecca. 442 00:20:50,327 --> 00:20:52,927 Speaker 2: Yes it isn't Mecca. It's about sixty five dollars, so 443 00:20:52,967 --> 00:20:56,287 Speaker 2: it is expensive, but it's really good. SPF thirty and 444 00:20:56,407 --> 00:21:00,247 Speaker 2: again just that perfect mix of like making you glowy 445 00:21:00,287 --> 00:21:03,607 Speaker 2: and even but not settling in all your lines and stuff. 446 00:21:03,687 --> 00:21:05,887 Speaker 2: So not there's anything wrong with our lines. Fans I 447 00:21:05,927 --> 00:21:08,007 Speaker 2: spoke to Gina Chick this week. She calls them our 448 00:21:08,127 --> 00:21:12,127 Speaker 2: silver feathers. But we'll put the link. 449 00:21:12,207 --> 00:21:16,847 Speaker 4: You're looking, Chloe, I have a true crime documentary recommendation. 450 00:21:17,127 --> 00:21:19,407 Speaker 4: So have either of you heard of the true crime 451 00:21:19,447 --> 00:21:20,727 Speaker 4: documentary called The Jinx. 452 00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,047 Speaker 3: No, that sounds scary. 453 00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:24,567 Speaker 2: One thing that was very telling it Bob said. He said, 454 00:21:24,687 --> 00:21:27,927 Speaker 2: all my life, I've had more money than I could spend, 455 00:21:28,047 --> 00:21:31,727 Speaker 2: and it didn't make me hammy. She talked on the 456 00:21:31,767 --> 00:21:34,327 Speaker 2: telephone with her husband, then she vanished. 457 00:21:34,447 --> 00:21:39,327 Speaker 4: And no one has seen Kathleen Durst since Durst. 458 00:21:39,087 --> 00:21:40,607 Speaker 5: Was wanted for murder in Texas. 459 00:21:40,927 --> 00:21:44,647 Speaker 6: It's a suspect for murders in Los Angeles, Westchester County, 460 00:21:44,687 --> 00:21:48,327 Speaker 6: New York. He belongs to one of the richest families 461 00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:49,287 Speaker 6: in New York City. 462 00:21:49,407 --> 00:21:50,527 Speaker 1: Might be a little eccentric. 463 00:21:50,607 --> 00:21:52,687 Speaker 2: I think Bob was very smart. I mean, he's managed 464 00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:56,247 Speaker 2: to get away with three murders. I don't do true 465 00:21:56,287 --> 00:21:57,687 Speaker 2: crime documentaries very often. 466 00:21:57,847 --> 00:22:00,127 Speaker 4: Well, it's widely considered to be one of the best 467 00:22:00,127 --> 00:22:03,887 Speaker 4: true crime series ever made. It's like when people nowaday, Yeah, 468 00:22:03,927 --> 00:22:07,007 Speaker 4: it is embarrassing. Actually, there was a season in twenty 469 00:22:07,047 --> 00:22:12,167 Speaker 4: fifteen of this and the fust episode is mind blowing, 470 00:22:12,327 --> 00:22:16,127 Speaker 4: probably one of the best, most twisty kind of episodes 471 00:22:16,167 --> 00:22:17,527 Speaker 4: you could imagine in a true crime do. 472 00:22:17,647 --> 00:22:18,287 Speaker 2: What's it about? 473 00:22:18,767 --> 00:22:22,127 Speaker 4: So it's about a man named Bob Durst, and it 474 00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:25,407 Speaker 4: begins with a body that's found in a river, and 475 00:22:25,527 --> 00:22:27,367 Speaker 4: at first five minutes I was like, I'm not really 476 00:22:27,407 --> 00:22:29,847 Speaker 4: in like, it's just this body and you don't really 477 00:22:29,887 --> 00:22:32,087 Speaker 4: know who it is. Anyway, you learn pretty quickly that 478 00:22:32,127 --> 00:22:34,887 Speaker 4: the key suspect is this guy named Bob Durst. But 479 00:22:34,967 --> 00:22:37,327 Speaker 4: it turns out that's just not what the show is about. 480 00:22:37,367 --> 00:22:39,087 Speaker 4: The show is about the fact that he is a 481 00:22:39,207 --> 00:22:42,167 Speaker 4: multi multi multi millionaire. He's the heir to a real 482 00:22:42,287 --> 00:22:45,967 Speaker 4: estate company in New York. And what he does is 483 00:22:46,247 --> 00:22:48,327 Speaker 4: this body has been dismembered and thrown in a river. 484 00:22:48,887 --> 00:22:51,847 Speaker 4: It's proven that he dismembered the body. But he has 485 00:22:51,887 --> 00:22:54,847 Speaker 4: to defend himself in court and he can obviously afford 486 00:22:54,887 --> 00:22:57,327 Speaker 4: the best defense team ever and he does. And so 487 00:22:57,407 --> 00:23:00,087 Speaker 4: the stories that he tells about what happened are just 488 00:23:00,207 --> 00:23:03,527 Speaker 4: you're laughing, You're like shocked it at all. But the 489 00:23:03,607 --> 00:23:05,487 Speaker 4: other question that comes up in this first season and 490 00:23:05,647 --> 00:23:08,167 Speaker 4: is hang on what happened to his first wife, who disappeared, 491 00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:09,887 Speaker 4: and what happened to his best friend, to his murdered 492 00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:14,327 Speaker 4: and did he do so? That season went down history books. 493 00:23:14,367 --> 00:23:17,127 Speaker 4: Now April of this year, nine years after the first season, 494 00:23:17,487 --> 00:23:18,647 Speaker 4: the second season. 495 00:23:18,407 --> 00:23:23,487 Speaker 1: Drops as the Jinx aired. Bob and I spoke after 496 00:23:23,647 --> 00:23:28,687 Speaker 1: every episode. He was very nervous and I thought to myself, 497 00:23:29,367 --> 00:23:33,727 Speaker 1: he's going to ry. My captain told me, whatever you do, 498 00:23:35,647 --> 00:23:39,167 Speaker 1: don't let Robert Durst get away. Bob was going to 499 00:23:39,207 --> 00:23:42,927 Speaker 1: flee the country, never to return, and of course that 500 00:23:43,007 --> 00:23:49,487 Speaker 1: didn't happen. Hello, this is a prefat call from a. 501 00:23:55,647 --> 00:23:56,087 Speaker 3: Oh boy. 502 00:23:56,447 --> 00:24:00,847 Speaker 4: The documentary, the first one uncovered new evidence. This final 503 00:24:00,927 --> 00:24:06,087 Speaker 4: scene in this first season was explosive, and that new 504 00:24:06,127 --> 00:24:09,967 Speaker 4: evidence set a sort of president for a new trial. 505 00:24:10,327 --> 00:24:12,527 Speaker 4: And the second season is all about this new trial. 506 00:24:12,687 --> 00:24:15,847 Speaker 4: He sits there, it's during COVID. He's like cross examined, 507 00:24:16,567 --> 00:24:18,727 Speaker 4: the genius in terms of like being a fly on 508 00:24:18,767 --> 00:24:22,367 Speaker 4: the wall in a courtroom. It is outstanding. I think 509 00:24:22,407 --> 00:24:26,127 Speaker 4: that Bob Durst himself was cross examined for something like 510 00:24:26,287 --> 00:24:30,607 Speaker 4: seven full days like this man. The Guardian call him 511 00:24:30,727 --> 00:24:33,727 Speaker 4: the serial killer who just won't shut up, if you 512 00:24:34,447 --> 00:24:37,207 Speaker 4: just won't stop talking. It is so addictive. Lucra and 513 00:24:37,247 --> 00:24:38,967 Speaker 4: I have been sitting on the lounge every night just 514 00:24:39,167 --> 00:24:40,887 Speaker 4: gasping and laughing. 515 00:24:41,047 --> 00:24:44,167 Speaker 2: So I assume that obviously for people who are embarrassingly 516 00:24:44,207 --> 00:24:45,847 Speaker 2: behind the times, like a night, we have to watch 517 00:24:45,847 --> 00:24:46,927 Speaker 2: season one first. 518 00:24:46,767 --> 00:24:49,047 Speaker 4: Yes, and it doesn't feel like it was nine years ago. 519 00:24:49,087 --> 00:24:50,887 Speaker 4: I watched it from the beginning. I think I watched 520 00:24:50,887 --> 00:24:52,567 Speaker 4: all those years ago, but I'd forgotten, so i watched 521 00:24:52,607 --> 00:24:55,047 Speaker 4: it from the beginning and now I've just finished season two. 522 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:57,927 Speaker 4: It's on Binge Brilliant called the Jinx. 523 00:24:58,247 --> 00:25:01,927 Speaker 3: Okay. I have a book recommendation. It is called Lies 524 00:25:02,007 --> 00:25:05,687 Speaker 3: and Weddings by Kevin Kwan. He wrote Crazy Rich Agent. Yes, yes, 525 00:25:06,567 --> 00:25:08,727 Speaker 3: it's so good, and I think he's kind of developing 526 00:25:08,767 --> 00:25:12,127 Speaker 3: a universe because there's like characters from Crazy Rich Asians 527 00:25:12,167 --> 00:25:14,727 Speaker 3: in this book. So if you read Crazy Rich Asians, 528 00:25:14,727 --> 00:25:16,727 Speaker 3: I watched it, you know it's all just bad wealth, 529 00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,687 Speaker 3: like the amount of wealth some people have. This one 530 00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:21,087 Speaker 3: takes it to a whole new level. It's so good. 531 00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:24,207 Speaker 3: It's about a royal adjacent family in England. The dad's 532 00:25:24,247 --> 00:25:25,047 Speaker 3: an earl, which. 533 00:25:24,847 --> 00:25:26,927 Speaker 2: I'm not too sure that's part of the royal family. 534 00:25:26,927 --> 00:25:29,087 Speaker 3: One of them, and the mum is a former Hong 535 00:25:29,167 --> 00:25:31,967 Speaker 3: Kong supermodel and they have three children, a boy and 536 00:25:31,967 --> 00:25:34,887 Speaker 3: two girls who are now in their mid twenties late twenties. 537 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,647 Speaker 3: And the kid's job is to just marry rich into 538 00:25:38,687 --> 00:25:41,327 Speaker 3: a wealthy family with the title, and it just goes 539 00:25:41,327 --> 00:25:44,167 Speaker 3: through all of these like rich people things. I'm reading 540 00:25:44,207 --> 00:25:46,447 Speaker 3: it on my kindle. Do you either of you use 541 00:25:46,487 --> 00:25:49,207 Speaker 3: a kindle? You know how on a kindle? So on 542 00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:52,247 Speaker 3: a kindle, sometimes it will give you suggestions on what 543 00:25:52,327 --> 00:25:55,207 Speaker 3: to highlight. Yep, So like you'll be reading it and 544 00:25:55,247 --> 00:25:57,447 Speaker 3: then it will be like so it will like get 545 00:25:57,527 --> 00:25:59,967 Speaker 3: what other people have read in the book because you 546 00:25:59,967 --> 00:26:01,567 Speaker 3: can highlight in kindles. So if you want to go 547 00:26:01,567 --> 00:26:04,567 Speaker 3: back to a certain quote, quote. 548 00:26:04,367 --> 00:26:05,927 Speaker 4: If it was to kill a mockingbird, like it would 549 00:26:05,927 --> 00:26:08,607 Speaker 4: be the most brilliant quote that someone's kind of it's 550 00:26:08,647 --> 00:26:09,967 Speaker 4: like they've underl in their book. 551 00:26:10,087 --> 00:26:12,487 Speaker 2: And I can show you in real life when I'm 552 00:26:13,127 --> 00:26:14,047 Speaker 2: studying is. 553 00:26:14,087 --> 00:26:15,687 Speaker 3: That and I'll give you a suggestion. It'll be like 554 00:26:15,727 --> 00:26:17,927 Speaker 3: twenty seven people have highlighted this suggestion. 555 00:26:18,247 --> 00:26:21,047 Speaker 2: See me that all these interviews I do where I 556 00:26:21,127 --> 00:26:23,127 Speaker 2: read the books and I go through and underline things, 557 00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:24,927 Speaker 2: I could just have them on a freaking kindle and 558 00:26:25,207 --> 00:26:26,767 Speaker 2: I would only have to read the highlights. Is that 559 00:26:26,807 --> 00:26:27,247 Speaker 2: what you're telling? 560 00:26:27,287 --> 00:26:28,567 Speaker 4: And you know what else you could do, Holly, is 561 00:26:28,607 --> 00:26:30,367 Speaker 4: you could download your books and see. 562 00:26:30,247 --> 00:26:33,007 Speaker 3: What people what people are highlighting. So that tells you 563 00:26:33,007 --> 00:26:35,607 Speaker 3: You'll be like, sixteen people have highlighted this phrase, so 564 00:26:35,647 --> 00:26:37,367 Speaker 3: it's like, oh, you might want to pay attention to 565 00:26:37,407 --> 00:26:40,447 Speaker 3: this one or highlighted yourself with this book. What I've 566 00:26:40,487 --> 00:26:43,087 Speaker 3: noticed is that everything that people have been highlighting are 567 00:26:43,127 --> 00:26:45,727 Speaker 3: just really rich words and no one really understands. So 568 00:26:45,767 --> 00:26:48,887 Speaker 3: I know that highlighting them to google later. It is 569 00:26:49,087 --> 00:26:51,967 Speaker 3: so funny. It's such a good book. I always pick 570 00:26:52,007 --> 00:26:54,087 Speaker 3: it up in like the airport. It was like one 571 00:26:54,087 --> 00:26:55,847 Speaker 3: of my airport reads. Read it in the day. 572 00:26:55,927 --> 00:26:58,207 Speaker 2: It's so good. Oh, Crazy Rich Asians is a bloody 573 00:26:58,247 --> 00:27:01,127 Speaker 2: brilliant holiday book. So this sounds like it's amazing. 574 00:27:01,127 --> 00:27:03,287 Speaker 4: I've heard great things about this. For links to all 575 00:27:03,327 --> 00:27:06,007 Speaker 4: our recommendations, make sure you sign up to the Mummere 576 00:27:06,087 --> 00:27:10,007 Speaker 4: out Loud newsletter. You'll see averni she owns you get 577 00:27:10,007 --> 00:27:13,567 Speaker 4: an insight into what's happening behind the scenes. There will 578 00:27:13,567 --> 00:27:14,887 Speaker 4: be a link in the show notes. 579 00:27:17,927 --> 00:27:21,687 Speaker 2: One Unlimited out Loud access. We drop episodes every Tuesday 580 00:27:21,727 --> 00:27:25,807 Speaker 2: and Thursday exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the link 581 00:27:25,807 --> 00:27:27,567 Speaker 2: in the show notes to get us in your ears 582 00:27:27,847 --> 00:27:30,567 Speaker 2: five days a week. And a huge thank you to 583 00:27:30,767 --> 00:27:32,367 Speaker 2: all our current subscribers. 584 00:27:42,567 --> 00:27:44,647 Speaker 4: It's time for best and Worst. This is the part 585 00:27:44,687 --> 00:27:46,447 Speaker 4: of the show where we share a little more from 586 00:27:46,487 --> 00:27:50,167 Speaker 4: our personal lives. There is no judgment. Hi brow, lowbrow, Holly, 587 00:27:50,287 --> 00:27:51,487 Speaker 4: what is your worst? 588 00:27:51,967 --> 00:27:55,247 Speaker 2: Okay, I've just realized I'm nervous about this worst because 589 00:27:55,287 --> 00:27:57,727 Speaker 2: do you remember when we talked a few weeks ago 590 00:27:57,807 --> 00:27:59,887 Speaker 2: about the woman who didn't love her cat anymore after 591 00:27:59,927 --> 00:28:02,367 Speaker 2: she had a baby, and she wrote this very honest 592 00:28:02,487 --> 00:28:04,647 Speaker 2: essay in the cut, and it has been. 593 00:28:04,607 --> 00:28:06,967 Speaker 3: So better to put a statement out, to put a 594 00:28:07,007 --> 00:28:07,607 Speaker 3: statement out. 595 00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:10,807 Speaker 2: The trolling was so full on that they've had to 596 00:28:10,807 --> 00:28:13,847 Speaker 2: put a statement out, being like, whoa, everybody, the cat's 597 00:28:13,927 --> 00:28:17,567 Speaker 2: fine anyway. I've just suddenly got tingles around that because 598 00:28:18,047 --> 00:28:20,007 Speaker 2: we went away last weekend and when we came home, 599 00:28:20,087 --> 00:28:24,767 Speaker 2: you were a cat, HOLLI maybe when we came home 600 00:28:24,887 --> 00:28:27,727 Speaker 2: Brent goes into got like this kind of room that's 601 00:28:27,767 --> 00:28:29,487 Speaker 2: not quite part of the house, but it's part of 602 00:28:29,487 --> 00:28:33,167 Speaker 2: that anyway. Whatever Brent goes into this room and he goes, oh, 603 00:28:33,287 --> 00:28:35,407 Speaker 2: and I'm like, what one of the goldfishes died. 604 00:28:36,367 --> 00:28:37,087 Speaker 4: I didn't know you. 605 00:28:37,087 --> 00:28:40,127 Speaker 2: You've never made us the thing. I'd forgotten that we 606 00:28:40,287 --> 00:28:43,247 Speaker 2: had goldfish. 607 00:28:43,487 --> 00:28:46,407 Speaker 3: Goldfish are quite big fish, though they were taking up 608 00:28:46,447 --> 00:28:47,207 Speaker 3: a bit of real estate. 609 00:28:47,447 --> 00:28:50,407 Speaker 2: I have forgotten pretty much that next to Brent's computer 610 00:28:50,607 --> 00:28:52,607 Speaker 2: in our living room, in a bit of the house 611 00:28:52,607 --> 00:28:54,367 Speaker 2: that I don't go too much. And we don't live 612 00:28:54,367 --> 00:28:56,527 Speaker 2: in a mansion, don't get me wrong, but anyway, we 613 00:28:56,567 --> 00:28:58,607 Speaker 2: have a fish tank. We have two goldfish in there, 614 00:28:58,847 --> 00:29:01,847 Speaker 2: and me and the children. Let's just be honest. Before 615 00:29:01,887 --> 00:29:05,647 Speaker 2: we had dog, we used to really love our gold yeah, 616 00:29:05,647 --> 00:29:08,167 Speaker 2: and then we had stick in sex we sort of 617 00:29:08,167 --> 00:29:10,607 Speaker 2: loved them too, and we got our beautiful dog, Alvy. 618 00:29:10,607 --> 00:29:12,207 Speaker 2: And now we've got our beautiful dog, Tuna. And it's 619 00:29:12,247 --> 00:29:15,047 Speaker 2: all about the dog. But Brent is the keeper of 620 00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:18,087 Speaker 2: the goldfish. He changes that water, he remembers to feed 621 00:29:18,127 --> 00:29:20,487 Speaker 2: them when he goes away. He knows I will forget, 622 00:29:20,527 --> 00:29:22,647 Speaker 2: so he always puts, you know, one of those released 623 00:29:22,647 --> 00:29:26,047 Speaker 2: ones in there. And so my worst is that when 624 00:29:26,087 --> 00:29:28,007 Speaker 2: we got home and we discovered that one of our 625 00:29:28,207 --> 00:29:30,527 Speaker 2: goldfish had died, and these goldfish have been with us 626 00:29:30,527 --> 00:29:33,567 Speaker 2: for a lot of years. Like when I last really 627 00:29:33,567 --> 00:29:36,407 Speaker 2: remember interacting with the goldfish is when we moved down 628 00:29:36,447 --> 00:29:39,047 Speaker 2: the coast, which is three years ago. I held them 629 00:29:39,087 --> 00:29:42,367 Speaker 2: on my knee in their tank the whole way so 630 00:29:42,407 --> 00:29:44,727 Speaker 2: it didn't spill and we could. So these fish have 631 00:29:44,807 --> 00:29:47,287 Speaker 2: been with us a long time. Anyway. My worst is 632 00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:49,687 Speaker 2: that poor Brent is obviously quite upset because there is 633 00:29:49,727 --> 00:29:51,247 Speaker 2: fish and he looks after them, and me and the 634 00:29:51,327 --> 00:29:54,727 Speaker 2: kids were like, ash, which one? And he goes to 635 00:29:54,847 --> 00:29:56,887 Speaker 2: silver one and we're like, oh, is. 636 00:29:56,847 --> 00:29:58,967 Speaker 3: There another one? 637 00:29:59,367 --> 00:30:02,247 Speaker 2: There is this black one? And the kids go, I 638 00:30:02,247 --> 00:30:07,487 Speaker 2: think that one's called I think it's called And I'm 639 00:30:07,527 --> 00:30:10,207 Speaker 2: so really bad and poor Bread. I've been grieving the 640 00:30:10,247 --> 00:30:12,407 Speaker 2: fish and every time I talked to him, sepping away 641 00:30:12,487 --> 00:30:14,287 Speaker 2: up here this week a bit and I caught and 642 00:30:14,327 --> 00:30:17,407 Speaker 2: he goes Midnight. We remembered what we called the black one. 643 00:30:17,407 --> 00:30:20,247 Speaker 2: It's called Midnight. He's like Midnight's hanging in there, and 644 00:30:20,287 --> 00:30:21,567 Speaker 2: me and the kids have to fade all this. 645 00:30:23,527 --> 00:30:24,607 Speaker 3: You can do it, Midnight. 646 00:30:25,487 --> 00:30:26,967 Speaker 2: How did I put the fish to rest? 647 00:30:27,087 --> 00:30:30,407 Speaker 4: You keep trying, how did you did you to admit? 648 00:30:30,447 --> 00:30:34,247 Speaker 2: How we put it in them. We would have buried it, 649 00:30:34,287 --> 00:30:37,047 Speaker 2: but the dog would just dig it. Yeah, yeah, I 650 00:30:37,087 --> 00:30:39,367 Speaker 2: could put it in the veggie bed. That might be good. 651 00:30:39,407 --> 00:30:43,007 Speaker 2: But anyway, I'm sorry for all the goldfish lovers out there. 652 00:30:43,127 --> 00:30:45,847 Speaker 2: That's my worst, terrible selfish people, and poor Brent is 653 00:30:45,887 --> 00:30:47,087 Speaker 2: unsupported in his grief. 654 00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:48,967 Speaker 3: My best. 655 00:30:49,007 --> 00:30:51,047 Speaker 2: The outluders will not be surprised about this. I have 656 00:30:51,247 --> 00:30:54,767 Speaker 2: never been tagged in a post on social media as 657 00:30:54,847 --> 00:30:57,567 Speaker 2: much as on Sunday morning. I woke up and my 658 00:30:57,727 --> 00:31:01,927 Speaker 2: dms were full, My mentions were full on Instagram because 659 00:31:02,047 --> 00:31:06,967 Speaker 2: David Beckham, Oh my god, David Beckham. He posted a long, 660 00:31:07,447 --> 00:31:11,727 Speaker 2: like ninety seconds or more long garden tour of his 661 00:31:12,487 --> 00:31:19,127 Speaker 2: garden in his luxurious English country estate. Was it impressive morning, so. 662 00:31:20,927 --> 00:31:26,287 Speaker 6: Pretty impressive. Look at these spring onions, plum trees, plums 663 00:31:26,287 --> 00:31:30,087 Speaker 6: are over now, I think. Then we've got all these 664 00:31:30,167 --> 00:31:34,687 Speaker 6: amazing wildflowers that we have in the house that I've planted. 665 00:31:35,007 --> 00:31:39,687 Speaker 6: Tell you what I'm doing very well over here, Kale. 666 00:31:40,367 --> 00:31:40,767 Speaker 1: Look at that. 667 00:31:41,647 --> 00:31:44,167 Speaker 2: Oh my god. He was wearing a flat cap. He 668 00:31:44,207 --> 00:31:46,607 Speaker 2: introduced us to his chickens. Then he showed us all 669 00:31:46,607 --> 00:31:49,407 Speaker 2: around and he showed me his cabbages, which are unbelievable, 670 00:31:49,447 --> 00:31:52,807 Speaker 2: and the potatoes. And I've never really wanted to be rich. 671 00:31:52,847 --> 00:31:55,167 Speaker 2: I mean, obviously, like everybody, I'd like to be comfortable 672 00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:56,767 Speaker 2: and not have to worry about money and blah blah, 673 00:31:56,807 --> 00:31:58,607 Speaker 2: but I've never been like, oh, I want a maserati 674 00:31:58,647 --> 00:32:00,687 Speaker 2: in a mansion, Like that's not my vibe. But when 675 00:32:00,727 --> 00:32:02,487 Speaker 2: I saw this garden, I was suddenly like, I want 676 00:32:02,487 --> 00:32:04,327 Speaker 2: to be as rich as I can possibly fucking get 677 00:32:04,327 --> 00:32:06,927 Speaker 2: so that I can have those veggie beds. He's like, 678 00:32:07,687 --> 00:32:10,967 Speaker 2: got these amazing And I thought he lived in Miami 679 00:32:11,007 --> 00:32:13,127 Speaker 2: because he runs a football team there, so I don't 680 00:32:13,127 --> 00:32:16,007 Speaker 2: know who's looking after the garden every day, but anyway, 681 00:32:16,007 --> 00:32:16,807 Speaker 2: his garden. 682 00:32:17,927 --> 00:32:19,327 Speaker 4: His bees, bees must be. 683 00:32:19,407 --> 00:32:23,167 Speaker 2: He has bees, he's making honey, he has chickens. He's 684 00:32:23,207 --> 00:32:26,127 Speaker 2: making crisps with these potatoes. But that garden was so beautiful. 685 00:32:26,127 --> 00:32:27,967 Speaker 2: And then the thing that made it my best was 686 00:32:28,007 --> 00:32:33,367 Speaker 2: also Victoria Beckham, who I also adore, just commented like, 687 00:32:33,607 --> 00:32:36,647 Speaker 2: who is this man? Can I please have my husband back? 688 00:32:37,087 --> 00:32:39,687 Speaker 2: And those among us who feel misunderstood and our passion 689 00:32:39,687 --> 00:32:42,447 Speaker 2: for gardening really resonated with that. It's like how you 690 00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:45,167 Speaker 2: and me are talked to me when I start talking 691 00:32:45,207 --> 00:32:47,287 Speaker 2: about the fact that I grew some potatoes, or that 692 00:32:47,407 --> 00:32:49,207 Speaker 2: I maybe you put my tomatoes in a bit early 693 00:32:49,287 --> 00:32:51,167 Speaker 2: this year, and you're just looking at me like she 694 00:32:51,367 --> 00:32:54,647 Speaker 2: used to be interesting. That's how Victoria feels about David 695 00:32:54,847 --> 00:32:57,447 Speaker 2: and I understand it. And one very smart out louder 696 00:32:57,487 --> 00:32:59,687 Speaker 2: said to me, it's time to swap Brad Pitt because 697 00:32:59,687 --> 00:33:03,407 Speaker 2: he's problematic. Oh, good points for David Beckham, and I 698 00:33:03,447 --> 00:33:07,007 Speaker 2: think Kingham never has a truer word been spoken. David 699 00:33:07,047 --> 00:33:09,167 Speaker 2: Beckham's garden tour is my best of the weeks. 700 00:33:09,287 --> 00:33:11,807 Speaker 4: Oh, I love it. And what's your worst? 701 00:33:12,087 --> 00:33:15,567 Speaker 3: Okay, My worst was having to go pick up my 702 00:33:15,607 --> 00:33:19,167 Speaker 3: passport because I got a new passport photo we are 703 00:33:19,167 --> 00:33:21,207 Speaker 3: You're going away. I'm going away at the end of 704 00:33:21,247 --> 00:33:24,287 Speaker 3: the year, Singapore. So I did it really early, and 705 00:33:24,367 --> 00:33:25,807 Speaker 3: it was kind of like one of the things where 706 00:33:25,927 --> 00:33:28,007 Speaker 3: you could select whether it's sent to you, like to 707 00:33:28,007 --> 00:33:29,887 Speaker 3: your home address, or whether you want to pick it up. 708 00:33:30,327 --> 00:33:32,007 Speaker 3: And my mom told me to pick it up because 709 00:33:32,047 --> 00:33:34,007 Speaker 3: she's scared that I would lose it or something will happen. 710 00:33:34,367 --> 00:33:36,047 Speaker 3: So I ticked that box and then it was in 711 00:33:36,047 --> 00:33:37,607 Speaker 3: the back of my mind, and then I got an 712 00:33:37,647 --> 00:33:40,567 Speaker 3: email saying, hey, we can only hold this passport for 713 00:33:40,607 --> 00:33:44,447 Speaker 3: a month. So it's nearly a month up. So I 714 00:33:44,487 --> 00:33:46,567 Speaker 3: have this weird thing, which if me it was here, 715 00:33:46,567 --> 00:33:47,807 Speaker 3: she'd be like, have you talked to your therapist? 716 00:33:47,847 --> 00:33:48,127 Speaker 2: Had it? 717 00:33:48,207 --> 00:33:50,287 Speaker 3: And I have, So I have talked about this. I 718 00:33:50,287 --> 00:33:53,247 Speaker 3: have this weird thing where I get really anxious doing 719 00:33:53,367 --> 00:33:56,647 Speaker 3: public chores by myself because I don't want to get 720 00:33:56,687 --> 00:33:58,887 Speaker 3: things wrong and I don't want people to laugh at me, 721 00:33:59,247 --> 00:34:00,887 Speaker 3: like I don't want to like push a pulled off 722 00:34:00,967 --> 00:34:03,847 Speaker 3: an example, oh that kind yeah, like really small things. 723 00:34:03,847 --> 00:34:06,127 Speaker 3: So I when I do public chores by myself, I 724 00:34:06,207 --> 00:34:08,487 Speaker 3: really have to plan it out in my head. It's 725 00:34:08,567 --> 00:34:09,087 Speaker 3: so weird. 726 00:34:09,287 --> 00:34:10,687 Speaker 4: So you need like an errand friend. 727 00:34:10,847 --> 00:34:13,247 Speaker 3: Yeah, I need an errand friend. And it's when you 728 00:34:13,287 --> 00:34:14,767 Speaker 3: do it on a weekday, it's really hard. 729 00:34:14,887 --> 00:34:16,207 Speaker 2: So what happened? 730 00:34:16,327 --> 00:34:19,767 Speaker 3: So I went I went to go pick up my 731 00:34:19,807 --> 00:34:22,247 Speaker 3: passport and here's where things went wrong. I went to 732 00:34:22,327 --> 00:34:24,967 Speaker 3: the post office. I meant to go to the passport office, 733 00:34:25,487 --> 00:34:28,207 Speaker 3: so I lined up. I went to the post office 734 00:34:28,367 --> 00:34:30,087 Speaker 3: and I was like, hey, I'm here to pick up 735 00:34:30,127 --> 00:34:31,647 Speaker 3: my passport and he was like, what do you mean? 736 00:34:32,047 --> 00:34:34,567 Speaker 3: And I was like, I literally talked to you, like, oh, 737 00:34:34,887 --> 00:34:37,167 Speaker 3: you do not remember me? And he was like, no, 738 00:34:37,247 --> 00:34:39,287 Speaker 3: you have to go to the passport office. And there 739 00:34:39,287 --> 00:34:41,447 Speaker 3: was like heaps of people in the room. He's like, 740 00:34:41,447 --> 00:34:43,487 Speaker 3: you have to go to the passport office. We don't, 741 00:34:43,527 --> 00:34:45,927 Speaker 3: we can't do that. It's a legal document. And something 742 00:34:46,007 --> 00:34:48,047 Speaker 3: came over me where I didn't really think, and I 743 00:34:48,127 --> 00:34:48,767 Speaker 3: just said. 744 00:34:48,687 --> 00:34:49,607 Speaker 2: Can you lull your voice? 745 00:34:51,887 --> 00:34:52,447 Speaker 4: Good girl? 746 00:34:53,727 --> 00:34:56,207 Speaker 3: And he was taken aback and then I was taken 747 00:34:56,207 --> 00:34:58,367 Speaker 3: aback and then we boach just stood there in silence, 748 00:34:58,807 --> 00:35:01,247 Speaker 3: and then I just went, got it, see ya, thanks 749 00:35:01,247 --> 00:35:02,727 Speaker 3: so much, and then I left, went to the past. 750 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:03,847 Speaker 3: It was fine. I got my peace. 751 00:35:03,887 --> 00:35:05,527 Speaker 2: It was probably rude in his tone. 752 00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:07,727 Speaker 3: Yeah, he was just loud. It was allowed because I 753 00:35:07,807 --> 00:35:10,807 Speaker 3: was like this friend, people are listening behind me. They're 754 00:35:10,807 --> 00:35:13,527 Speaker 3: seeing this interaction happen. And I'm being very quiet and 755 00:35:13,567 --> 00:35:16,287 Speaker 3: polite and demure. Yes, and he's going no, where the 756 00:35:16,327 --> 00:35:20,207 Speaker 3: post office? Are you the post your voice? 757 00:35:20,527 --> 00:35:23,007 Speaker 4: I've look, I will say, and big love to post 758 00:35:23,007 --> 00:35:25,487 Speaker 4: office workers who are listening right, like ninety nine percent 759 00:35:25,527 --> 00:35:28,967 Speaker 4: of you. Great. There are the odd post office workers 760 00:35:29,407 --> 00:35:32,367 Speaker 4: who when they have to correct your passport form and 761 00:35:32,407 --> 00:35:34,727 Speaker 4: tell you that you've made an error, they enjoy it. 762 00:35:34,847 --> 00:35:35,167 Speaker 2: They do. 763 00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:37,287 Speaker 4: There's a look in there and they. 764 00:35:37,007 --> 00:35:39,007 Speaker 3: And then they can be. Others are watching as well. 765 00:35:39,007 --> 00:35:41,047 Speaker 3: They're like, oh, I watch this go down exactly. 766 00:35:41,287 --> 00:35:44,687 Speaker 4: I've been burned and so I respect you saying please 767 00:35:45,207 --> 00:35:48,527 Speaker 4: lower your voice, sir, you're man explaining how to pick 768 00:35:48,607 --> 00:35:49,407 Speaker 4: up my passport? 769 00:35:49,927 --> 00:35:52,087 Speaker 2: Can you go pick it up? How is the photo anyway? 770 00:35:52,207 --> 00:35:52,367 Speaker 5: Oh? 771 00:35:52,407 --> 00:35:54,607 Speaker 2: I looked amazing because she did pay extra for We 772 00:35:54,687 --> 00:35:56,927 Speaker 2: discussed this on Monday Show. If no one has listened, 773 00:35:57,367 --> 00:36:00,407 Speaker 2: we had a little guest appearance pop in to tell 774 00:36:00,447 --> 00:36:03,207 Speaker 2: us about how she'd made sure her passport photo was hot. 775 00:36:03,847 --> 00:36:04,567 Speaker 2: Were you hot? 776 00:36:04,807 --> 00:36:05,047 Speaker 6: Yeah? 777 00:36:05,127 --> 00:36:06,767 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, really good. 778 00:36:06,807 --> 00:36:10,247 Speaker 3: And also the new Australian passport looks really good as well. Yeah, 779 00:36:10,247 --> 00:36:11,527 Speaker 3: it's really nice. 780 00:36:11,767 --> 00:36:12,687 Speaker 4: What's your best? 781 00:36:13,047 --> 00:36:16,727 Speaker 3: My best is last week I went on a for mill, 782 00:36:16,927 --> 00:36:18,487 Speaker 3: which is how would you explain a for mill? 783 00:36:18,607 --> 00:36:20,407 Speaker 2: Like, it's a free trip, so you have to write 784 00:36:20,447 --> 00:36:23,087 Speaker 2: about it. That's what a famill is. 785 00:36:25,487 --> 00:36:28,207 Speaker 3: I went to Hawkesbury Valley the Crown Plaza, and I 786 00:36:28,207 --> 00:36:29,887 Speaker 3: told my mom because it was the day of her 787 00:36:29,887 --> 00:36:34,327 Speaker 3: birthday daughter, and we had the best day. We went there. 788 00:36:34,487 --> 00:36:36,727 Speaker 3: We did a cocktail class, we got a bit tipsy, 789 00:36:37,127 --> 00:36:39,527 Speaker 3: we had dinner. We shared a hotel room, and it 790 00:36:39,567 --> 00:36:41,847 Speaker 3: was one of those moments where like, I think my 791 00:36:42,007 --> 00:36:44,527 Speaker 3: parents and my grandparents kind of struggle to realize what 792 00:36:44,567 --> 00:36:46,727 Speaker 3: I do for work. They don't really get it. 793 00:36:46,767 --> 00:36:48,287 Speaker 2: Well, that's because you get to do things like that 794 00:36:48,487 --> 00:36:49,847 Speaker 2: and that doesn't seem like work. 795 00:36:50,727 --> 00:36:53,287 Speaker 3: It's so true until we're like at dinner and out loud. 796 00:36:53,287 --> 00:36:54,847 Speaker 3: It's like, hey, I've listened to you on out loud, 797 00:36:54,927 --> 00:36:56,887 Speaker 3: and then my dad full freaks out. He's like, get 798 00:36:56,887 --> 00:36:58,167 Speaker 3: a photo with her, get a phone. I'm like, I'm 799 00:36:58,167 --> 00:37:00,327 Speaker 3: not asking her for a photo. That's a bit weird. 800 00:37:01,807 --> 00:37:03,487 Speaker 3: But it was like at dinner, like she was a 801 00:37:03,487 --> 00:37:04,807 Speaker 3: bit tipsy, so I'll give it that. So I'm not 802 00:37:04,807 --> 00:37:06,567 Speaker 3: sure if this is authentic or not, but I just 803 00:37:06,647 --> 00:37:09,767 Speaker 3: saw like she like was like, oh, you're in a place, 804 00:37:10,007 --> 00:37:14,647 Speaker 3: like she just kind of Oh, you've done something. I'm proud, Yeah, proud, 805 00:37:14,927 --> 00:37:17,327 Speaker 3: And it's so nice. I just felt really good that 806 00:37:17,367 --> 00:37:19,727 Speaker 3: I could take her on this little trip to Hawksbury Valley. 807 00:37:19,927 --> 00:37:22,647 Speaker 3: It was so oh, I love that so much, Okay, Jesse. 808 00:37:23,247 --> 00:37:27,287 Speaker 4: My worst is that on Sunday morning, I had like 809 00:37:27,367 --> 00:37:30,207 Speaker 4: a lunch thing had to go to and I was like, oh, 810 00:37:30,207 --> 00:37:31,887 Speaker 4: I better go put some makeup on. Couldn't find a 811 00:37:31,887 --> 00:37:33,327 Speaker 4: bag anywhay, So go to the car. I'm like, I 812 00:37:33,367 --> 00:37:34,967 Speaker 4: remember I left it in my front seat. I open 813 00:37:35,047 --> 00:37:36,767 Speaker 4: it and I'm like, what has happened to my car? 814 00:37:37,207 --> 00:37:41,727 Speaker 4: And it has been like upended pig sty like everything 815 00:37:41,727 --> 00:37:43,567 Speaker 4: from the console and the glove box had been taken out, 816 00:37:43,607 --> 00:37:46,087 Speaker 4: which is different to your normal car slightly, which was 817 00:37:46,127 --> 00:37:48,127 Speaker 4: interesting because I wasn't the first one to look at 818 00:37:48,127 --> 00:37:50,847 Speaker 4: the car this morning. Luca was like, Luca had seen 819 00:37:50,887 --> 00:37:52,767 Speaker 4: it and just assumed that's how I lived. And I 820 00:37:52,807 --> 00:37:55,847 Speaker 4: was like, that actually wasn't normal, and he did say, yeah. 821 00:37:55,887 --> 00:37:57,447 Speaker 4: I wondered why the door was open. I was like, 822 00:37:57,447 --> 00:38:00,167 Speaker 4: I don't leave my door open. I just left it 823 00:38:00,287 --> 00:38:03,607 Speaker 4: unlocked anyway. So i'd been robbed. 824 00:38:03,847 --> 00:38:06,527 Speaker 2: Oh, but your car got broken into. But then what 825 00:38:06,607 --> 00:38:08,847 Speaker 2: I asked, it broke it into? She said, can you 826 00:38:08,847 --> 00:38:10,567 Speaker 2: break it to something that isn't locked? 827 00:38:11,287 --> 00:38:15,167 Speaker 4: According to insurance companies, it's so I had left that 828 00:38:15,247 --> 00:38:17,527 Speaker 4: a little bit unlocked and the only thing they'd taken 829 00:38:18,127 --> 00:38:20,727 Speaker 4: was my makeup bag, the only thing, the only thing, 830 00:38:20,767 --> 00:38:21,687 Speaker 4: and there was nothing of it. 831 00:38:21,607 --> 00:38:23,527 Speaker 3: But that would have been the most expensive thing. 832 00:38:24,247 --> 00:38:27,767 Speaker 4: It's Honestly, it has really ruined my life because I, 833 00:38:27,887 --> 00:38:30,327 Speaker 4: like Holly, I don't have aspirations to be rich. I 834 00:38:30,367 --> 00:38:33,887 Speaker 4: don't have designer bags, don't have fancy clothes. Makeup is 835 00:38:33,887 --> 00:38:36,127 Speaker 4: my one thing that I care about. And there would 836 00:38:36,167 --> 00:38:37,647 Speaker 4: be a Bronzer from twenty fifteen. 837 00:38:37,687 --> 00:38:39,567 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like, it doesn't like I can't get it again, 838 00:38:39,607 --> 00:38:40,727 Speaker 3: so I have to say favor it. 839 00:38:41,207 --> 00:38:43,647 Speaker 4: And like, I got this incredible palette from the last 840 00:38:43,687 --> 00:38:45,847 Speaker 4: time I was in the US, and I had every 841 00:38:45,887 --> 00:38:47,727 Speaker 4: It's a really big bag and it had like all 842 00:38:47,727 --> 00:38:52,207 Speaker 4: my eyeshadows and brushes and foundation and oh. I then 843 00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:54,807 Speaker 4: had to go to this launch and it really threw 844 00:38:54,847 --> 00:38:57,007 Speaker 4: a spanner in my weekend. I had to go to 845 00:38:57,567 --> 00:39:00,287 Speaker 4: Mecha Sephora all of it with Luna that afternoon, and 846 00:39:00,327 --> 00:39:02,007 Speaker 4: it was such a shit shopping trip as well, because 847 00:39:02,007 --> 00:39:04,367 Speaker 4: it wasn't fun. It was like, no, I genuinely just 848 00:39:04,367 --> 00:39:05,607 Speaker 4: made an eyebraps. 849 00:39:05,287 --> 00:39:05,887 Speaker 3: Meant to be fun. 850 00:39:06,007 --> 00:39:08,367 Speaker 4: It's meant to be fun. And I bought like just 851 00:39:08,407 --> 00:39:10,967 Speaker 4: the week before, like Charlotte Tillbury mascara that I've never 852 00:39:11,007 --> 00:39:14,367 Speaker 4: even been able to use, So pray for me. 853 00:39:14,487 --> 00:39:17,727 Speaker 2: That's an expense problem. And also going and Buying all 854 00:39:17,767 --> 00:39:20,487 Speaker 2: makeup at once brings you very close up to just how. 855 00:39:20,407 --> 00:39:22,047 Speaker 3: No one should know, but you should be able to 856 00:39:22,047 --> 00:39:23,287 Speaker 3: get your make a loop box soon. 857 00:39:23,367 --> 00:39:26,767 Speaker 4: Then every time I spent something, I was like, I 858 00:39:26,807 --> 00:39:32,167 Speaker 4: swear I should get a gift, like I robbed. I 859 00:39:32,247 --> 00:39:36,407 Speaker 4: deserve free things. My best is that I got my 860 00:39:36,527 --> 00:39:39,647 Speaker 4: hair done last week and you know someone's coming, it's 861 00:39:39,687 --> 00:39:43,207 Speaker 4: getting warm, and my hairdresser said, do you want to 862 00:39:43,247 --> 00:39:47,007 Speaker 4: try the scandy hairline? I think I've seen this on. 863 00:39:46,967 --> 00:39:49,207 Speaker 2: That what's a scandy hairline trend? 864 00:39:49,247 --> 00:39:51,167 Speaker 4: Holly? I just feel like you could be into it. 865 00:39:51,247 --> 00:39:53,007 Speaker 4: So I had seen it on TikTok, but I didn't 866 00:39:53,047 --> 00:39:53,327 Speaker 4: think I. 867 00:39:53,247 --> 00:39:56,127 Speaker 2: Was cool enough. He keeps talking about scandy things. She 868 00:39:56,207 --> 00:39:59,207 Speaker 2: keeps saying, I'm doing like scandy style. I'm like, what 869 00:39:59,327 --> 00:40:00,607 Speaker 2: is she talking about? 870 00:40:00,327 --> 00:40:01,487 Speaker 3: Do you mean Scandinavian? 871 00:40:03,487 --> 00:40:07,807 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got that bit. I'm like, okay, anyway, contain yourself. 872 00:40:07,847 --> 00:40:11,247 Speaker 4: She's talking about either I just interesting. But what it 873 00:40:11,447 --> 00:40:14,087 Speaker 4: is basically is they get all your baby hairs and 874 00:40:14,087 --> 00:40:16,167 Speaker 4: your hairs at the front, like and I've got a 875 00:40:16,167 --> 00:40:20,327 Speaker 4: lot because postpart and they paint them and bleach them basically, 876 00:40:20,687 --> 00:40:24,527 Speaker 4: and it looks very kind of Nordic Scandinavian. It almost 877 00:40:24,567 --> 00:40:27,047 Speaker 4: looks more blonde and more natural and more sun kissed 878 00:40:27,047 --> 00:40:29,967 Speaker 4: because it's what happens during summer to your hair. And 879 00:40:30,167 --> 00:40:32,047 Speaker 4: anyway she did this, I have just felt so cool 880 00:40:32,047 --> 00:40:34,167 Speaker 4: because like I have my finger on the poles like 881 00:40:34,287 --> 00:40:36,647 Speaker 4: not me, but she did, and. 882 00:40:36,967 --> 00:40:38,287 Speaker 2: It does look very nice. 883 00:40:38,687 --> 00:40:41,887 Speaker 4: It looks really good fresh, you know how like Ballyage 884 00:40:41,967 --> 00:40:43,367 Speaker 4: was in for a while where it was like your 885 00:40:43,447 --> 00:40:45,967 Speaker 4: darker roots or whatever, but she just nailed it. And 886 00:40:46,007 --> 00:40:47,767 Speaker 4: I actually love going to the hairdresser at the moment 887 00:40:47,847 --> 00:40:50,007 Speaker 4: because it's four hours and. 888 00:40:49,927 --> 00:40:52,367 Speaker 3: That looks nice. I couldn't do that. I look crazy, but. 889 00:40:56,247 --> 00:40:58,567 Speaker 4: I have dark brown hair and now I have a 890 00:40:58,967 --> 00:40:59,607 Speaker 4: light fringe. 891 00:41:03,527 --> 00:41:07,087 Speaker 2: It would be very Friends, you know that our best 892 00:41:07,127 --> 00:41:09,567 Speaker 2: and worst is our chance to be frivolous and silly. 893 00:41:09,607 --> 00:41:11,607 Speaker 2: Please jump in the out Louders group and tell us 894 00:41:12,007 --> 00:41:14,247 Speaker 2: what your best and worst of the week have been. 895 00:41:15,567 --> 00:41:18,007 Speaker 2: And that is all we have time for today and 896 00:41:18,087 --> 00:41:21,127 Speaker 2: this week. A massive thank you to you out Louders 897 00:41:21,127 --> 00:41:23,167 Speaker 2: for being here with us all of this week, and 898 00:41:23,247 --> 00:41:25,847 Speaker 2: a very big thank you to our team that is 899 00:41:26,047 --> 00:41:30,447 Speaker 2: Executive producer Ruth de Vine, Senior producer Emmiline, gazillis, our 900 00:41:30,487 --> 00:41:33,807 Speaker 2: audio producers Leah Porges, and our social media producer is 901 00:41:33,807 --> 00:41:38,007 Speaker 2: Isabelle Dolphin, otherwise known as Dolph. Goodbye friends, We'll see 902 00:41:38,047 --> 00:41:38,967 Speaker 2: you next week. 903 00:41:38,887 --> 00:41:41,687 Speaker 4: And before we go. If you watch the presidential debate 904 00:41:41,727 --> 00:41:43,727 Speaker 4: on Wednesday like we did, or maybe you didn't, you 905 00:41:43,767 --> 00:41:47,727 Speaker 4: just want a debrief, then yesterday's subscriber episode, Holly Maya 906 00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:52,647 Speaker 4: and Absolute expert Amelia Lester did a deep dive. Here's 907 00:41:52,647 --> 00:41:53,647 Speaker 4: a little taste. 908 00:41:54,127 --> 00:41:57,047 Speaker 5: Can I just share my cynical for on vit Taylor endorsement. 909 00:41:57,647 --> 00:42:01,047 Speaker 5: The timing was pretty interesting to come out immediately after 910 00:42:01,087 --> 00:42:04,967 Speaker 5: the debate. I think to some extent, stole Kamala Harris's 911 00:42:04,967 --> 00:42:07,527 Speaker 5: thunder and what was a sort of resounding victory in 912 00:42:07,567 --> 00:42:10,447 Speaker 5: the debate. It just made me wonder would she have 913 00:42:10,807 --> 00:42:13,887 Speaker 5: sent that Instagram had Kamala Harris not done so well 914 00:42:13,927 --> 00:42:15,807 Speaker 5: in the debate. Was she waiting to check that she 915 00:42:15,927 --> 00:42:16,847 Speaker 5: wasn't backing a dud? 916 00:42:17,287 --> 00:42:20,207 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's literally what Jesse said, and I 917 00:42:20,327 --> 00:42:22,607 Speaker 2: was like, absolutely not. 918 00:42:22,927 --> 00:42:25,247 Speaker 4: Like, first of all, there is a link to that 919 00:42:25,327 --> 00:42:26,527 Speaker 4: episode in the show notes. 920 00:42:26,647 --> 00:42:27,047 Speaker 3: See ya. 921 00:42:27,287 --> 00:42:31,127 Speaker 4: Why shout out to any mum and mea subscribers listening 922 00:42:31,367 --> 00:42:33,527 Speaker 4: If you love the show and you want to support us, 923 00:42:33,767 --> 00:42:36,687 Speaker 4: Subscribing to MoMA Mia is the very best way to 924 00:42:36,767 --> 00:42:39,167 Speaker 4: do so. There's a link in the episode description