WEBVTT - The 3-Hour Mum & The Viral 'Jessica' Hack 0:00:08.234 --> 0:00:10.914 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:20.074 --> 0:00:23.073 Hello, Welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast of parents 0:00:23.114 --> 0:00:26.674 who don't always listen to parenting podcasts. We talk about 0:00:26.674 --> 0:00:28.514 the news and the trends and the culture, and we 0:00:28.594 --> 0:00:30.914 read everything on the internet so that you don't have to. 0:00:31.314 --> 0:00:35.114 I'm Monique Bowley, I'm Amelia Laster, and I'm Stacy Hicks. 0:00:35.473 --> 0:00:40.233 Coming up on today's show, the Kardashian whisperer and CEO 0:00:40.513 --> 0:00:44.434 who says three hours with her kids is enough? I 0:00:44.513 --> 0:00:48.793 mean fair? Is it rage bait or is it actually genius? 0:00:49.153 --> 0:00:51.674 And did millennials kill kids sport? 0:00:51.833 --> 0:00:55.194 We have a theory, and Mon's has a genius low 0:00:55.314 --> 0:00:59.034 cost school holiday idea, and Stacy has another one of 0:00:59.074 --> 0:01:01.394 her deranged TV recommendations. 0:01:02.874 --> 0:01:05.834 But first, but first, two. 0:01:05.434 --> 0:01:09.874 Incidents last Saturday got me thinking about whether we're back 0:01:09.914 --> 0:01:12.234 in kids should be seen and not heard territory. Now 0:01:12.234 --> 0:01:14.914 I've told you both about them, but I want to 0:01:15.754 --> 0:01:17.953 hear your thoughts. I haven't heard what you think about 0:01:17.994 --> 0:01:18.594 what happened. 0:01:18.634 --> 0:01:18.794 Yeah. 0:01:18.834 --> 0:01:20.154 The second, do you tell us anything? 0:01:20.194 --> 0:01:20.394 Now? 0:01:20.434 --> 0:01:22.354 We just say save it, save it for the pod. 0:01:22.354 --> 0:01:24.194 We're not going to tell you and we're on air. 0:01:24.434 --> 0:01:27.514 So both of these happened on Saturday last Saturday. The 0:01:27.554 --> 0:01:31.874 first one was that I am now doing a weights 0:01:32.034 --> 0:01:33.354 class on Saturday. 0:01:33.474 --> 0:01:35.474 Excellent, So Pracey inspired me. 0:01:35.834 --> 0:01:38.753 And it's my attempt to not fall off the aging 0:01:38.834 --> 0:01:39.954 cliff at forty four. 0:01:40.154 --> 0:01:41.554 Apparently you got to lift weights to. 0:01:41.474 --> 0:01:44.313 Not fall off the loving it Amelia and. 0:01:44.234 --> 0:01:47.074 I'm lifting my weights and it's an outdoors class by 0:01:47.114 --> 0:01:51.874 an oval, and I see that there is a roaming, 0:01:52.234 --> 0:01:57.394 marauding gang of probably like ten to twelve preteen boys 0:01:57.554 --> 0:02:00.874 on bikes, regular bikes, not your bikes, regular bikes, just 0:02:00.954 --> 0:02:03.834 kind of zooming around near the oval, making a lot 0:02:03.874 --> 0:02:07.074 of noise, doing dangerous things. They have a makeshift round 0:02:07.354 --> 0:02:09.674 that they're all like riding their bikes up. I'm really 0:02:09.674 --> 0:02:13.513 worried about their collar bones, and my first instinct, I'm 0:02:13.554 --> 0:02:16.314 not gonna lie. My first instinct was they're making a 0:02:16.354 --> 0:02:20.794 lot of noise and that is very dangerous. But then 0:02:21.234 --> 0:02:25.353 my second thought was, this is exactly what children should 0:02:25.434 --> 0:02:31.274 be doing, being together outside, doing something physical, taking risks. 0:02:31.714 --> 0:02:35.114 Why am I condemning them for it. So that was 0:02:35.154 --> 0:02:38.314 the first thing that happened, and then shortly after that, 0:02:38.434 --> 0:02:41.634 I went to the park with my children and my 0:02:41.794 --> 0:02:47.034 friend's children. And there was a group of three five 0:02:47.074 --> 0:02:49.514 to seven year olds playing two boys on one girl. 0:02:50.234 --> 0:02:51.754 That was our collective group. 0:02:51.874 --> 0:02:55.954 And we were at a picnic table nearby, and a 0:02:55.994 --> 0:03:00.353 man comes up to me. That's never a story, is that. 0:03:01.354 --> 0:03:03.474 A man comes up to me and he says, are 0:03:03.514 --> 0:03:04.514 those your children? 0:03:05.234 --> 0:03:05.554 Hang on? 0:03:05.594 --> 0:03:06.594 How what was his tone? 0:03:07.354 --> 0:03:09.834 You just you know what his time was whatever the 0:03:09.994 --> 0:03:12.474 equivalent of Karen is for a man. 0:03:12.834 --> 0:03:14.354 That's what he was giving. 0:03:14.154 --> 0:03:15.633 Colin and. 0:03:16.994 --> 0:03:18.154 Colin energy. 0:03:18.674 --> 0:03:20.954 And he says to me, yeah, those are your children. 0:03:21.034 --> 0:03:23.834 I say yes, I mean I didn't want to split hairs. 0:03:23.834 --> 0:03:25.834 Some of them were, some of them weren't. He said, 0:03:26.314 --> 0:03:29.834 the boys are playing with a stick, and that is 0:03:30.034 --> 0:03:35.194 very dangerous. And I thought, news at eleven boys playing 0:03:35.234 --> 0:03:39.954 with a stick. Stop the presses. This is unprecedented. Forget 0:03:39.994 --> 0:03:43.314 Trump and Iran boys are playing with a stick. We 0:03:43.434 --> 0:03:47.754 must stop them. So, instead of responding with anything sarcastic 0:03:48.234 --> 0:03:51.954 or outwardly aggressive, I thanked him for his input and 0:03:52.154 --> 0:03:55.194 continued gabbing away with my friends. 0:03:55.194 --> 0:03:56.794 Did he just scuttle astic? 0:03:57.154 --> 0:04:00.114 He continued, is weird walk around a children's playground? 0:04:00.954 --> 0:04:03.194 But it's so interesting that you say, like even you 0:04:03.354 --> 0:04:07.674 had that reaction to other kids well around, but it's 0:04:07.674 --> 0:04:10.474 because we don't see it anymore. It's like an endangered space. 0:04:10.674 --> 0:04:13.114 And this is what I wanted to ask you both about. 0:04:13.394 --> 0:04:17.234 I do think that the Victorian adage of children should 0:04:17.234 --> 0:04:19.594 be seen and not heard has come back with screens 0:04:19.634 --> 0:04:23.954 because we're so used to seeing mute, silent still children 0:04:24.193 --> 0:04:27.153 enraptured by a screen in public spaces because parents have 0:04:27.274 --> 0:04:30.034 been shamed into doing that as a way of keeping 0:04:30.034 --> 0:04:33.193 them quiet. That that's our expected way of interacting with 0:04:33.274 --> 0:04:36.794 children now. And when children are doing something, making noise, 0:04:36.873 --> 0:04:39.914 moving around, doing exactly what Jonathan Hate says we should do, 0:04:40.393 --> 0:04:41.633 we get freaked out about it. 0:04:41.714 --> 0:04:44.354 Yeah. I don't disagree. I think you're right. I think 0:04:44.354 --> 0:04:47.594 the only reasonable rational response is to push your kids 0:04:47.633 --> 0:04:49.354 out in the yard and say, make as much noise 0:04:49.354 --> 0:04:53.593 as possible. Yeah, do not go quietly into the gentle night, 0:04:53.794 --> 0:04:54.953 no screen, thank you. 0:04:56.474 --> 0:04:56.753 Well. 0:04:56.794 --> 0:05:01.194 Speaking of keeping kids quiet, parents have now figured out 0:05:01.234 --> 0:05:03.753 that there was a hack for stopping a tantrum all along, 0:05:04.154 --> 0:05:06.674 and all we needed to do was summon the power 0:05:06.794 --> 0:05:10.753 of them. Most millennial name that has ever existed, Jessica, 0:05:10.873 --> 0:05:13.633 What okay? You're not seen this around. 0:05:13.433 --> 0:05:16.433 Everywhere we're talking about this, and I didn't understand there. 0:05:16.313 --> 0:05:18.674 Are videos everywhere parents doing it, and I tried it. 0:05:18.714 --> 0:05:21.433 On the week it is, there will be a kid, 0:05:21.513 --> 0:05:25.793 a toddler. Usually you know, we're talking two three, losing 0:05:25.834 --> 0:05:28.474 the plot really just about you know, those ones where 0:05:28.474 --> 0:05:31.433 they're about to spiral and the parent, just in the 0:05:31.433 --> 0:05:36.473 middle of it starts going Jessica Jessica, looking around for 0:05:36.553 --> 0:05:37.793 a fictitious Jessica. 0:05:37.953 --> 0:05:38.233 Okay. 0:05:39.274 --> 0:05:42.954 They stop instantly. It is like a switch is flicked. 0:05:42.993 --> 0:05:45.674 They stop. And I tried this, and I have a 0:05:45.714 --> 0:05:47.754 five year old, so I thought she might be more 0:05:47.753 --> 0:05:50.873 evolved than this. It worked. She looked around, like, what 0:05:51.073 --> 0:05:51.993 are you doing? 0:05:52.393 --> 0:05:55.714 It just like interrupts a little Jessica Jessica, as if 0:05:55.714 --> 0:05:57.354 she's about to go right around the corner. 0:05:57.993 --> 0:06:01.033 And there's something about a lot of parenting experts are 0:06:01.073 --> 0:06:03.514 now weighing in and saying it's because kids can kind 0:06:03.513 --> 0:06:05.794 of only focus on one thing at a time, that 0:06:05.873 --> 0:06:10.274 it's the randomness of the Jessica like being so unexpected 0:06:10.674 --> 0:06:13.633 that they shift gears. They can't they can't continue the 0:06:13.674 --> 0:06:16.674 tantrum because they're suddenly concerned that your fictitious friend is 0:06:16.674 --> 0:06:19.713 about to rock up. Okay, studies have not been done 0:06:19.794 --> 0:06:22.874 yet to decide whether other names work. We might be 0:06:22.914 --> 0:06:26.633 able to yell Mon's Amelia who knows, but it works. 0:06:26.674 --> 0:06:29.234 And the funniest thing is all the Jessica's in the comments, 0:06:29.274 --> 0:06:32.593 being like, I'm busy, I've been called on a hundreds, 0:06:33.154 --> 0:06:35.873 I'm on my way. But yeah, it seems to work. 0:06:35.993 --> 0:06:39.113 Okay, excellent. I think if we can ask our listeners 0:06:39.393 --> 0:06:43.273 to try it. Yes, it's the todd the tantrum hat. Yeah, 0:06:43.354 --> 0:06:45.473 yelling out Jessica and then yeah, report back in the 0:06:45.513 --> 0:06:49.154 comments or in comments on Spotify or on podcast Apple 0:06:49.193 --> 0:06:52.433 reviews would be good. Also, perhaps we can use it 0:06:52.474 --> 0:06:54.513 as a safe word on this show, because I am 0:06:54.553 --> 0:06:56.274 going to have a tantrum a little bit later about 0:06:56.274 --> 0:06:58.714 one of the topics we're talking about, and so if 0:06:58.753 --> 0:07:01.753 I get to deep in, I just want to hear Jessica. 0:07:01.834 --> 0:07:03.474 Okay, yeah, we'll cut you off. 0:07:03.513 --> 0:07:08.153 Okay, well, Jessica will all right? Many hours a day 0:07:08.234 --> 0:07:12.114 you spend with your kids? Oh my god. A headline 0:07:12.154 --> 0:07:15.194 in the Wall Street Journal caught my attention this week, 0:07:16.314 --> 0:07:18.994 and I want to go there. The headline was the 0:07:19.074 --> 0:07:23.033 Kardashian whisper who says three hours with her kids is enough. 0:07:23.634 --> 0:07:25.954 And the profile was a woman called Emma Greed. Now, 0:07:25.994 --> 0:07:27.754 if you don't know who she is, she was the 0:07:27.794 --> 0:07:32.273 co founder of Skims. She also works on Good American. 0:07:31.914 --> 0:07:35.874 With She has an amazing up in council housing in 0:07:35.914 --> 0:07:38.674 the UK and is now a self made billionaire. 0:07:38.754 --> 0:07:42.273 Yeah, she is the CEO of multiple billion dollar brands. 0:07:42.514 --> 0:07:45.514 She also has four children, and she's written a book 0:07:45.514 --> 0:07:48.634 that's going to be published next week called Start with Yourself, 0:07:48.834 --> 0:07:51.994 sort of a self help CEO boss bitch kind of book. 0:07:52.393 --> 0:07:54.234 This is like the opposite to what you guys spoke 0:07:54.274 --> 0:07:56.434 about on the show last week with the you finish, 0:07:56.754 --> 0:07:59.994 you go last, Like this is the opposite. She's like, no, 0:08:00.114 --> 0:08:00.834 it's me first. 0:08:01.034 --> 0:08:04.833 It absolutely is Stacy. Now, the part that everyone is 0:08:04.874 --> 0:08:07.794 talking about in this profile piece in the book is 0:08:07.794 --> 0:08:11.234 how she calls herself a max three hour mum. On 0:08:11.274 --> 0:08:14.114 a weekend, she'll spend from nine till midday with her 0:08:14.234 --> 0:08:18.754 children and after that she's done and she's off to activities, 0:08:18.794 --> 0:08:22.314 which she says fill her cup. She doesn't engage in 0:08:22.354 --> 0:08:24.194 any of the busy work of parenting, so she won't 0:08:24.194 --> 0:08:27.393 be reading school emails or newsletters. She doesn't do lunchboxes, 0:08:27.434 --> 0:08:31.394 she doesn't engage in any activities that she thinks are overparenting. Instead, 0:08:31.514 --> 0:08:33.634 she says the time she spends with her kids is 0:08:33.754 --> 0:08:37.994 high impact, core memory times. So it's all killer, no 0:08:38.154 --> 0:08:41.354 filler for Emma Greed, What did you think when you 0:08:41.394 --> 0:08:42.154 read this, Amelia? 0:08:42.354 --> 0:08:44.794 I went on a real journey with it, because at 0:08:44.834 --> 0:08:48.394 first I thought hard relate, like I would prefer to 0:08:48.474 --> 0:08:52.594 do things on Saturday that were not exclusively with my children, 0:08:53.154 --> 0:08:56.754 such as my weights class. But she had me until 0:08:56.874 --> 0:09:00.354 she compared time spent with her children to limited edition 0:09:00.634 --> 0:09:03.594 fashion collabs. This is when she mentioned that she's all 0:09:03.634 --> 0:09:07.354 about creating high impact core memories. Some of these sample 0:09:07.434 --> 0:09:10.594 she used with fishing trips or New York getaways. Now 0:09:10.634 --> 0:09:13.114 my issue with that is I have no problem with 0:09:13.154 --> 0:09:16.354 women filling their cup and trying to make quality time 0:09:16.434 --> 0:09:19.314 as opposed to just a quantity of time with their children. 0:09:19.434 --> 0:09:22.794 But I just don't think that kids' core memories are 0:09:22.834 --> 0:09:25.274 what adults want them to be. When I look back 0:09:25.274 --> 0:09:29.754 at my core memories, it wasn't necessarily the high impact 0:09:29.834 --> 0:09:33.354 quality time that crystallized in my mind. It was, in fact, 0:09:33.474 --> 0:09:37.434 regular everyday, banal moments that just seem to feel really 0:09:37.434 --> 0:09:40.994 cozy and encapsulate the closeness of family life, like how 0:09:41.034 --> 0:09:43.554 we always used to have a big fry up breakfast 0:09:43.634 --> 0:09:46.554 on Saturday mornings, or we went to Blockbuster on Friday nights. 0:09:46.634 --> 0:09:49.754 I don't think either of those are high impact core memories. 0:09:49.874 --> 0:09:51.914 One of my favorite memories with my dad is going 0:09:51.954 --> 0:09:57.234 to the tip. I can remember it so clearly. Anymore, 0:09:57.274 --> 0:09:58.874 we need to go to the tip too. 0:09:59.514 --> 0:10:01.274 Did you get to sit on the back of the trailott? 0:10:01.434 --> 0:10:01.594 Yes? 0:10:01.834 --> 0:10:04.234 Yes, why I remember it? And you're right, like, that's 0:10:04.274 --> 0:10:07.274 the most That is not a limited edition. That's it's 0:10:07.274 --> 0:10:09.674 not a fashion. No, that is not a fashion No, 0:10:10.554 --> 0:10:13.994 it's the complete opposite. But I think we have to 0:10:13.994 --> 0:10:16.434 acknowledge as well what she said and what I did 0:10:16.634 --> 0:10:19.314 like about this, because I was the same as you, Amelia, 0:10:19.314 --> 0:10:21.714 where I was like, well, like that would be nice. 0:10:21.754 --> 0:10:24.874 Of course, that would be nice. She is very upfront 0:10:24.914 --> 0:10:27.274 about saying how much help she has, which I do 0:10:27.314 --> 0:10:29.954 appreciate because it makes you feel like, well, this person 0:10:30.074 --> 0:10:32.353 just is in a bit of a different realm. 0:10:32.234 --> 0:10:36.274 Including multiple nannies, yeah, and a chef, so she can 0:10:36.394 --> 0:10:38.594 opt out of those things that she thinks are you know, 0:10:38.834 --> 0:10:41.434 too intensive, Like none of us would like to make 0:10:41.474 --> 0:10:43.474 the lunch boxes, but someone's got to do it. 0:10:43.994 --> 0:10:45.554 But they've got someone who can do it. 0:10:45.834 --> 0:10:48.194 So I went down a massive emmagred rabbit hole because 0:10:48.194 --> 0:10:50.074 I didn't know really much about her or who she 0:10:50.114 --> 0:10:52.514 was or what she stood for. And there are a 0:10:52.514 --> 0:10:53.954 couple of things that she's doing that I think are 0:10:53.954 --> 0:10:56.634 pretty radical. One of the ones is that she kind 0:10:56.674 --> 0:10:59.994 of removes the apology layer of a working mother. You know, 0:11:00.034 --> 0:11:02.394 when you work, and there's this layer of guilt and 0:11:02.394 --> 0:11:04.434 it's I'm sorry, I have to go to work. I'm sorry, 0:11:04.474 --> 0:11:06.394 I have to go to Sydney. I am I'm sorry, 0:11:06.394 --> 0:11:08.554 I'm sorry. Have a listened to what she says about 0:11:08.594 --> 0:11:10.234 this on the j Shatty podcast. 0:11:10.354 --> 0:11:14.514 On purpose, I was constantly in some cycle of apologies. 0:11:14.714 --> 0:11:17.314 I'm sorry that I'm leaving, I'm sorry that I'm going 0:11:17.354 --> 0:11:20.154 to New York, I'm sorry that I'll be back late tonight. 0:11:20.634 --> 0:11:24.234 And what I realized is that I created a narrative 0:11:24.674 --> 0:11:26.834 that I didn't really like what I was doing. So 0:11:26.914 --> 0:11:29.994 I'm working really hard to let my kids know, Yeah, 0:11:30.154 --> 0:11:32.794 like I'm not the mom that is out every drop off. 0:11:32.874 --> 0:11:35.074 I'm not the mom that is volunteering at the school. 0:11:35.274 --> 0:11:37.954 But guess what, there are all of these other amazing 0:11:38.074 --> 0:11:39.834 things that I do that I enjoy. 0:11:40.514 --> 0:11:43.394 That feels radical to me to stop apologizing for being 0:11:43.554 --> 0:11:46.234 a working mother, and it is just and this is 0:11:46.514 --> 0:11:47.994 what I do, and I enjoy doing it. 0:11:48.194 --> 0:11:50.954 Because the second you start apologizing, it's the second they're 0:11:50.994 --> 0:11:53.274 kind of getting that narrative in their head ye that 0:11:53.314 --> 0:11:56.154 you have something to be sorry for, like that you're 0:11:56.154 --> 0:11:57.794 doing that because you don't want to be with them, 0:11:57.794 --> 0:11:59.354 And that's just not the case. You're either doing it 0:11:59.394 --> 0:12:01.034 because you enjoy it, or you're doing it because you 0:12:01.034 --> 0:12:02.634 need to make money to raise them. 0:12:02.674 --> 0:12:04.394 So I really love that. But the other I just 0:12:04.394 --> 0:12:06.514 want to zoom out for a minute and just I'm 0:12:06.514 --> 0:12:08.274 a bit done with the way that we talk to 0:12:08.794 --> 0:12:10.634 successful women. And I know this is a bit like 0:12:10.674 --> 0:12:14.034 small f feminist, but this piece isn't just like a 0:12:14.074 --> 0:12:17.194 profile of a successful business founder. It has this like 0:12:17.274 --> 0:12:20.434 overlay of mum. Like no one's asking Jeff Bezos how 0:12:20.434 --> 0:12:22.674 many hours he spends with his children on a weekend. 0:12:23.034 --> 0:12:26.754 No one's asking Elon Musk. It just feels like it 0:12:26.794 --> 0:12:29.114 feels like a trap. These articles are pretending to be 0:12:29.234 --> 0:12:31.994 about like ambition and modern success. But the headline is 0:12:31.994 --> 0:12:33.514 about how much time she spends with their kids. 0:12:33.554 --> 0:12:36.794 Well, and they clearly thought they were stoking outrage with that. Yeah, 0:12:36.954 --> 0:12:39.554 they like it was picking the most impleammatory part of it, 0:12:39.714 --> 0:12:42.434 when in fact, what she's saying is you need to 0:12:42.434 --> 0:12:43.634 be comfortable with trade offs. 0:12:43.674 --> 0:12:45.914 That's very much the bottom line of her message. 0:12:45.954 --> 0:12:48.834 It's like, you can't do everything, figure out what your 0:12:48.874 --> 0:12:52.474 priorities are and then unapologetically go after them. 0:12:52.594 --> 0:12:52.834 Yeah. 0:12:52.914 --> 0:12:54.674 The other thing I heard her talk about on this 0:12:54.754 --> 0:12:59.314 podcast was she's not lying anymore. She said women have 0:12:59.514 --> 0:13:02.354 just got to stop lying about the amount of help 0:13:02.394 --> 0:13:04.954 they get and about how they feel about things. And 0:13:04.994 --> 0:13:07.714 I think it's gonna ruffle some feathers, but I think 0:13:07.714 --> 0:13:09.354 she's doing like it's for the greater good. 0:13:09.394 --> 0:13:12.754 Right, I just stopped lying about it. I started to say, 0:13:13.194 --> 0:13:17.514 this is really hard. I really have to make difficult choices. 0:13:17.714 --> 0:13:21.714 And when I made choices that were seemingly selfish or 0:13:21.794 --> 0:13:25.194 about me, I stopped hiding them because I thought that 0:13:25.394 --> 0:13:27.394 was doing a disservice to other women. 0:13:27.874 --> 0:13:30.674 Why do you think women do lie about how much 0:13:30.714 --> 0:13:33.874 help they have and how they're balancing everything. 0:13:34.314 --> 0:13:37.874 I don't know, what do you think, I don't. 0:13:37.994 --> 0:13:43.354 I think it's probably competitiveness, Yeah, probably probably, and probably 0:13:43.394 --> 0:13:44.953 a little bit of guilt because you know that other 0:13:44.994 --> 0:13:47.794 people don't have that same amount of help. Like, if 0:13:47.794 --> 0:13:49.474 you're in a position where you can afford a lot 0:13:49.474 --> 0:13:52.474 of that help, that's amazing. I mean, it does make 0:13:52.554 --> 0:13:55.394 you look like a more competent person that you can 0:13:55.434 --> 0:13:58.794 do all of these things. So it's probably guilt. 0:13:58.994 --> 0:13:59.714 I think it's. 0:13:59.554 --> 0:14:03.394 Also that women are taught that there are finite resources 0:14:03.434 --> 0:14:05.914 out there and that we're having to compete with each 0:14:05.954 --> 0:14:08.874 other for them feel that way. They don't feel that 0:14:09.194 --> 0:14:13.274 there's a limited pool that just all of mankind has 0:14:13.354 --> 0:14:16.634 to attain. And I think for women that's why we 0:14:16.714 --> 0:14:19.274 do shrod a lot of how we parent in secrecy, 0:14:19.754 --> 0:14:23.514 because I think we've been taught to feel zealous and 0:14:23.594 --> 0:14:24.834 protective of what we have. 0:14:25.834 --> 0:14:28.474 It's also like we're expected to do it all so 0:14:28.674 --> 0:14:30.954 all pretending that we are, aren't we. 0:14:31.194 --> 0:14:34.234 Yeah, And I think that's the thing that's interesting about 0:14:34.354 --> 0:14:38.234 her is that she's kind of making something clear that 0:14:38.274 --> 0:14:40.954 I think we all know is that nothing really responsibilities 0:14:40.954 --> 0:14:43.674 didn't get taken off women. Other ones got at it 0:14:43.714 --> 0:14:46.794 on top like we got. Yeah, okay, go and achieve 0:14:46.794 --> 0:14:48.234 your dreams. But you've still got to do all of 0:14:48.234 --> 0:14:51.874 this stuff as well. And what she's saying is something 0:14:51.914 --> 0:14:54.114 has to give. You will have to do less in 0:14:54.154 --> 0:14:56.514 one of those spaces, either parenting or work, you will 0:14:56.554 --> 0:14:58.874 have to do less. So just pick what that is 0:14:58.994 --> 0:15:01.234 and go with it, and don't keep apologizing for it. 0:15:01.354 --> 0:15:03.154 That said, what three hours would you pick? 0:15:04.994 --> 0:15:10.314 I would pick eight eleven am obviously, well, I mean 0:15:10.434 --> 0:15:12.194 maybe PM if they go to bit early, you're not 0:15:12.234 --> 0:15:14.834 doing anything. I would pick eight to eleven am because 0:15:14.834 --> 0:15:18.914 there's no meals happening in that time, but optimum mood 0:15:19.554 --> 0:15:23.514 before they cried out eight to eleven with a protein 0:15:23.674 --> 0:15:26.474 rich breakfast immediately before my shift begins. 0:15:26.634 --> 0:15:30.314 Yes, hours, I'm not picking five till eight pm. 0:15:30.474 --> 0:15:34.474 You mean the ones that we get, the ones that 0:15:34.514 --> 0:15:37.634 we are doing every week night. Yeah, no, no one's 0:15:37.674 --> 0:15:41.274 no one's opting for those. So I'm at the point 0:15:41.314 --> 0:15:44.354 where I am thinking about sport for my daughter. I'm 0:15:44.354 --> 0:15:45.354 thinking about it a lot. 0:15:45.554 --> 0:15:49.394 I'm cracking my knuckles because I'm stretching to get ready 0:15:49.434 --> 0:15:50.674 for this conversation. 0:15:50.274 --> 0:15:52.754 Waiting for me to ask about this. I am looking 0:15:52.754 --> 0:15:57.114 around going what's the most expensive, what's the best for teamwork, 0:15:57.194 --> 0:16:00.074 what has the least annoying training schedule? What time are 0:16:00.074 --> 0:16:04.714 the games? And I'm gonna be honest, I'm scared because 0:16:05.234 --> 0:16:07.634 every single person I know with older kids who are 0:16:07.674 --> 0:16:11.234 kind of in that system of sport, it doesn't look fun, 0:16:11.794 --> 0:16:15.114 it's expensive, and it seems to take up every single 0:16:15.154 --> 0:16:18.154 minute they have, like they're not enjoying it. I've never 0:16:18.194 --> 0:16:20.794 had one of my friends be like, yay, I get 0:16:20.834 --> 0:16:23.154 to sit in a field at eight am on Saturday 0:16:23.194 --> 0:16:25.474 instead of hanging out with you, Like that's just not 0:16:26.034 --> 0:16:29.914 that's not the narrative. And then I saw a clip 0:16:29.954 --> 0:16:33.274 this week that perfectly summed up what I think is 0:16:33.314 --> 0:16:36.994 wrong with kids' sport in twenty twenty six. It's from 0:16:37.154 --> 0:16:39.794 the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. This is Glennan 0:16:39.874 --> 0:16:43.954 Doyle and Abby Wombach and then Glenn's sister Amanda is 0:16:43.954 --> 0:16:46.674 on it as well, and she says this, it's so brilliant. 0:16:46.714 --> 0:16:48.994 Shout out to the parents who have kids in sports. 0:16:49.034 --> 0:16:51.034 It's not It's awful, is what it is. 0:16:51.234 --> 0:16:52.314 It's awful. 0:16:53.914 --> 0:16:54.714 Half the time. 0:16:55.154 --> 0:16:56.834 I want to just stand up in the middle and 0:16:56.834 --> 0:17:02.314 being like we're doing this on purpose, for the purposes 0:17:02.354 --> 0:17:05.474 of fun. And I'm looking around and all the parents 0:17:05.513 --> 0:17:08.874 either look pest that they're a kid in playing, pissed 0:17:08.874 --> 0:17:11.033 that they're not playing like they should be because of 0:17:11.074 --> 0:17:13.754 all the training and the money that they put into them, 0:17:13.794 --> 0:17:16.114 mad at the coach for running a play. The coaches 0:17:16.114 --> 0:17:19.274 are mad at the kids. This isn't an elective thing 0:17:19.314 --> 0:17:21.794 in our life. This is something that no one has 0:17:21.874 --> 0:17:24.674 to do, and we're all came here to do it. 0:17:25.274 --> 0:17:27.274 And raise your hand if. 0:17:27.234 --> 0:17:28.554 Any of you are having fun? 0:17:29.074 --> 0:17:30.273 What a great question? 0:17:30.674 --> 0:17:33.234 Isn't it great? And now, like Amelia, I don't want 0:17:33.234 --> 0:17:35.994 to make judgments about your sporting prowess, but I'm going 0:17:35.994 --> 0:17:38.434 to hedge your bet. But Mon's is the sportiest of 0:17:38.554 --> 0:17:38.874 the three. 0:17:39.274 --> 0:17:40.714 I think that's probably right. 0:17:41.274 --> 0:17:42.754 What do you think is going on here? 0:17:42.874 --> 0:17:43.314 Was okay? 0:17:43.354 --> 0:17:43.874 That affair? 0:17:43.954 --> 0:17:45.874 When did? And was it always like this? 0:17:46.194 --> 0:17:46.874 Yeah? 0:17:47.194 --> 0:17:51.474 No it wasn't. Sport is broken. And there are a 0:17:51.514 --> 0:17:53.914 few things that I'm seeing and I'm hearing and I'm 0:17:53.914 --> 0:17:58.154 witnessing that are raising some big alarm bells for me. 0:17:58.914 --> 0:18:00.914 Try not to get bored in this, Amelia. Okay, I'm 0:18:00.914 --> 0:18:03.314 going to try and help you, like to stay interested. 0:18:02.954 --> 0:18:04.594 In glazing my eyes. 0:18:04.634 --> 0:18:04.874 Okay. 0:18:06.274 --> 0:18:10.594 Kids are now being put on pathways at six years old, right, 0:18:10.994 --> 0:18:14.273 Kids as young as eight are doing private strength and 0:18:14.314 --> 0:18:18.874 conditioning sessions in gyms in like academy style trainings. This 0:18:18.994 --> 0:18:21.434 is on top of what they're currently doing with the club. 0:18:22.154 --> 0:18:27.714 Some parents are tracking stats at AFL games like Division 0:18:27.754 --> 0:18:31.234 five games, like there's an AFL scout, like waiting in 0:18:31.274 --> 0:18:33.874 the wings to pick up their child, to pick up 0:18:33.914 --> 0:18:38.514 their underten child. What we are seeing is really worrying 0:18:38.634 --> 0:18:41.074 and it's a structural problem and the reason for it 0:18:41.114 --> 0:18:44.234 is it's the corporatization of sport. Right in Australia. Sport 0:18:44.314 --> 0:18:46.434 used to be about having a go and grassroots and 0:18:46.474 --> 0:18:48.634 everyone is welcome, everyone can do it. But what it 0:18:48.714 --> 0:18:50.834 is now is that we have with these clubs and 0:18:50.874 --> 0:18:54.794 corporations whose best interests are themselves and their own viability. 0:18:54.834 --> 0:18:56.793 So instead of putting the kids at the center of 0:18:56.874 --> 0:19:00.554 what they're doing, they often put themselves or their profit 0:19:00.674 --> 0:19:02.914 or their viability ahead of it, right, which is a problem. 0:19:02.954 --> 0:19:05.074 And it's only the sports associations. 0:19:05.154 --> 0:19:08.754 Yeah, clubs and things. Clubs need to stay alive via money, 0:19:08.794 --> 0:19:11.594 you know, and it's often they'll make decisions based on 0:19:12.114 --> 0:19:15.274 keeping their corporation going rather than what's in the best 0:19:15.314 --> 0:19:17.313 of the kids. So extra trainings and whatever. This is 0:19:17.314 --> 0:19:20.874 following an American model. Okay, now this is not this 0:19:20.954 --> 0:19:22.234 is like not my wheeling. 0:19:22.394 --> 0:19:23.594 This on Americans too. 0:19:24.514 --> 0:19:27.674 In Europe, it's not like this. In Europe, it's sport 0:19:27.794 --> 0:19:31.434 is very social. It's not about competitiveness or who wins 0:19:31.514 --> 0:19:34.434 or who loses. It's actually a much more social approach 0:19:34.554 --> 0:19:38.914 to sport. In Scandinavian countries like Norway, they have actually 0:19:39.034 --> 0:19:42.874 legislated that kids cannot go into specialist programs before the 0:19:42.914 --> 0:19:47.154 age of thirteen, and every kid thirteen they cannot play 0:19:47.274 --> 0:19:50.514 at an adult level until they're thirteen, and they are 0:19:50.674 --> 0:19:54.234 encouraged to play a wide range of sports. Now. As 0:19:54.234 --> 0:19:58.353