1 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:10,914 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 2 00:00:20,074 --> 00:00:23,073 Speaker 2: Hello, Welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast of parents 3 00:00:23,114 --> 00:00:26,674 Speaker 2: who don't always listen to parenting podcasts. We talk about 4 00:00:26,674 --> 00:00:28,514 Speaker 2: the news and the trends and the culture, and we 5 00:00:28,594 --> 00:00:30,914 Speaker 2: read everything on the internet so that you don't have to. 6 00:00:31,314 --> 00:00:35,114 Speaker 2: I'm Monique Bowley, I'm Amelia Laster, and I'm Stacy Hicks. 7 00:00:35,473 --> 00:00:40,233 Speaker 2: Coming up on today's show, the Kardashian whisperer and CEO 8 00:00:40,513 --> 00:00:44,434 Speaker 2: who says three hours with her kids is enough? I 9 00:00:44,513 --> 00:00:48,793 Speaker 2: mean fair? Is it rage bait or is it actually genius? 10 00:00:49,153 --> 00:00:51,674 Speaker 3: And did millennials kill kids sport? 11 00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:55,194 Speaker 4: We have a theory, and Mon's has a genius low 12 00:00:55,314 --> 00:00:59,034 Speaker 4: cost school holiday idea, and Stacy has another one of 13 00:00:59,074 --> 00:01:01,394 Speaker 4: her deranged TV recommendations. 14 00:01:02,874 --> 00:01:05,834 Speaker 1: But first, but first, two. 15 00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:09,874 Speaker 4: Incidents last Saturday got me thinking about whether we're back 16 00:01:09,914 --> 00:01:12,234 Speaker 4: in kids should be seen and not heard territory. Now 17 00:01:12,234 --> 00:01:14,914 Speaker 4: I've told you both about them, but I want to 18 00:01:15,754 --> 00:01:17,953 Speaker 4: hear your thoughts. I haven't heard what you think about 19 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:18,594 Speaker 4: what happened. 20 00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:18,794 Speaker 2: Yeah. 21 00:01:18,834 --> 00:01:20,154 Speaker 3: The second, do you tell us anything? 22 00:01:20,194 --> 00:01:20,394 Speaker 4: Now? 23 00:01:20,434 --> 00:01:22,354 Speaker 3: We just say save it, save it for the pod. 24 00:01:22,354 --> 00:01:24,194 Speaker 3: We're not going to tell you and we're on air. 25 00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:27,514 Speaker 4: So both of these happened on Saturday last Saturday. The 26 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:31,874 Speaker 4: first one was that I am now doing a weights 27 00:01:32,034 --> 00:01:33,354 Speaker 4: class on Saturday. 28 00:01:33,474 --> 00:01:35,474 Speaker 1: Excellent, So Pracey inspired me. 29 00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:38,753 Speaker 4: And it's my attempt to not fall off the aging 30 00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:39,954 Speaker 4: cliff at forty four. 31 00:01:40,154 --> 00:01:41,554 Speaker 1: Apparently you got to lift weights to. 32 00:01:41,474 --> 00:01:44,313 Speaker 2: Not fall off the loving it Amelia and. 33 00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:47,074 Speaker 4: I'm lifting my weights and it's an outdoors class by 34 00:01:47,114 --> 00:01:51,874 Speaker 4: an oval, and I see that there is a roaming, 35 00:01:52,234 --> 00:01:57,394 Speaker 4: marauding gang of probably like ten to twelve preteen boys 36 00:01:57,554 --> 00:02:00,874 Speaker 4: on bikes, regular bikes, not your bikes, regular bikes, just 37 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,834 Speaker 4: kind of zooming around near the oval, making a lot 38 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:07,074 Speaker 4: of noise, doing dangerous things. They have a makeshift round 39 00:02:07,354 --> 00:02:09,674 Speaker 4: that they're all like riding their bikes up. I'm really 40 00:02:09,674 --> 00:02:13,513 Speaker 4: worried about their collar bones, and my first instinct, I'm 41 00:02:13,554 --> 00:02:16,314 Speaker 4: not gonna lie. My first instinct was they're making a 42 00:02:16,354 --> 00:02:20,794 Speaker 4: lot of noise and that is very dangerous. But then 43 00:02:21,234 --> 00:02:25,353 Speaker 4: my second thought was, this is exactly what children should 44 00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:31,274 Speaker 4: be doing, being together outside, doing something physical, taking risks. 45 00:02:31,714 --> 00:02:35,114 Speaker 4: Why am I condemning them for it. So that was 46 00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:38,314 Speaker 4: the first thing that happened, and then shortly after that, 47 00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:41,634 Speaker 4: I went to the park with my children and my 48 00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:47,034 Speaker 4: friend's children. And there was a group of three five 49 00:02:47,074 --> 00:02:49,514 Speaker 4: to seven year olds playing two boys on one girl. 50 00:02:50,234 --> 00:02:51,754 Speaker 1: That was our collective group. 51 00:02:51,874 --> 00:02:55,954 Speaker 4: And we were at a picnic table nearby, and a 52 00:02:55,994 --> 00:03:00,353 Speaker 4: man comes up to me. That's never a story, is that. 53 00:03:01,354 --> 00:03:03,474 Speaker 4: A man comes up to me and he says, are 54 00:03:03,514 --> 00:03:04,514 Speaker 4: those your children? 55 00:03:05,234 --> 00:03:05,554 Speaker 3: Hang on? 56 00:03:05,594 --> 00:03:06,594 Speaker 2: How what was his tone? 57 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,834 Speaker 4: You just you know what his time was whatever the 58 00:03:09,994 --> 00:03:12,474 Speaker 4: equivalent of Karen is for a man. 59 00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:14,354 Speaker 1: That's what he was giving. 60 00:03:14,154 --> 00:03:15,633 Speaker 2: Colin and. 61 00:03:16,994 --> 00:03:18,154 Speaker 3: Colin energy. 62 00:03:18,674 --> 00:03:20,954 Speaker 4: And he says to me, yeah, those are your children. 63 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,834 Speaker 4: I say yes, I mean I didn't want to split hairs. 64 00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:25,834 Speaker 4: Some of them were, some of them weren't. He said, 65 00:03:26,314 --> 00:03:29,834 Speaker 4: the boys are playing with a stick, and that is 66 00:03:30,034 --> 00:03:35,194 Speaker 4: very dangerous. And I thought, news at eleven boys playing 67 00:03:35,234 --> 00:03:39,954 Speaker 4: with a stick. Stop the presses. This is unprecedented. Forget 68 00:03:39,994 --> 00:03:43,314 Speaker 4: Trump and Iran boys are playing with a stick. We 69 00:03:43,434 --> 00:03:47,754 Speaker 4: must stop them. So, instead of responding with anything sarcastic 70 00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:51,954 Speaker 4: or outwardly aggressive, I thanked him for his input and 71 00:03:52,154 --> 00:03:55,194 Speaker 4: continued gabbing away with my friends. 72 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,794 Speaker 2: Did he just scuttle astic? 73 00:03:57,154 --> 00:04:00,114 Speaker 1: He continued, is weird walk around a children's playground? 74 00:04:00,954 --> 00:04:03,194 Speaker 3: But it's so interesting that you say, like even you 75 00:04:03,354 --> 00:04:07,674 Speaker 3: had that reaction to other kids well around, but it's 76 00:04:07,674 --> 00:04:10,474 Speaker 3: because we don't see it anymore. It's like an endangered space. 77 00:04:10,674 --> 00:04:13,114 Speaker 1: And this is what I wanted to ask you both about. 78 00:04:13,394 --> 00:04:17,234 Speaker 4: I do think that the Victorian adage of children should 79 00:04:17,234 --> 00:04:19,594 Speaker 4: be seen and not heard has come back with screens 80 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:23,954 Speaker 4: because we're so used to seeing mute, silent still children 81 00:04:24,193 --> 00:04:27,153 Speaker 4: enraptured by a screen in public spaces because parents have 82 00:04:27,274 --> 00:04:30,034 Speaker 4: been shamed into doing that as a way of keeping 83 00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:33,193 Speaker 4: them quiet. That that's our expected way of interacting with 84 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:36,794 Speaker 4: children now. And when children are doing something, making noise, 85 00:04:36,873 --> 00:04:39,914 Speaker 4: moving around, doing exactly what Jonathan Hate says we should do, 86 00:04:40,393 --> 00:04:41,633 Speaker 4: we get freaked out about it. 87 00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:44,354 Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't disagree. I think you're right. I think 88 00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:47,594 Speaker 2: the only reasonable rational response is to push your kids 89 00:04:47,633 --> 00:04:49,354 Speaker 2: out in the yard and say, make as much noise 90 00:04:49,354 --> 00:04:53,593 Speaker 2: as possible. Yeah, do not go quietly into the gentle night, 91 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,953 Speaker 2: no screen, thank you. 92 00:04:56,474 --> 00:04:56,753 Speaker 1: Well. 93 00:04:56,794 --> 00:05:01,194 Speaker 3: Speaking of keeping kids quiet, parents have now figured out 94 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,753 Speaker 3: that there was a hack for stopping a tantrum all along, 95 00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:06,674 Speaker 3: and all we needed to do was summon the power 96 00:05:06,794 --> 00:05:10,753 Speaker 3: of them. Most millennial name that has ever existed, Jessica, 97 00:05:10,873 --> 00:05:13,633 Speaker 3: What okay? You're not seen this around. 98 00:05:13,433 --> 00:05:16,433 Speaker 4: Everywhere we're talking about this, and I didn't understand there. 99 00:05:16,313 --> 00:05:18,674 Speaker 3: Are videos everywhere parents doing it, and I tried it. 100 00:05:18,714 --> 00:05:21,433 Speaker 3: On the week it is, there will be a kid, 101 00:05:21,513 --> 00:05:25,793 Speaker 3: a toddler. Usually you know, we're talking two three, losing 102 00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:28,474 Speaker 3: the plot really just about you know, those ones where 103 00:05:28,474 --> 00:05:31,433 Speaker 3: they're about to spiral and the parent, just in the 104 00:05:31,433 --> 00:05:36,473 Speaker 3: middle of it starts going Jessica Jessica, looking around for 105 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,793 Speaker 3: a fictitious Jessica. 106 00:05:37,953 --> 00:05:38,233 Speaker 1: Okay. 107 00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:42,954 Speaker 3: They stop instantly. It is like a switch is flicked. 108 00:05:42,993 --> 00:05:45,674 Speaker 3: They stop. And I tried this, and I have a 109 00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:47,754 Speaker 3: five year old, so I thought she might be more 110 00:05:47,753 --> 00:05:50,873 Speaker 3: evolved than this. It worked. She looked around, like, what 111 00:05:51,073 --> 00:05:51,993 Speaker 3: are you doing? 112 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:55,714 Speaker 2: It just like interrupts a little Jessica Jessica, as if 113 00:05:55,714 --> 00:05:57,354 Speaker 2: she's about to go right around the corner. 114 00:05:57,993 --> 00:06:01,033 Speaker 3: And there's something about a lot of parenting experts are 115 00:06:01,073 --> 00:06:03,514 Speaker 3: now weighing in and saying it's because kids can kind 116 00:06:03,513 --> 00:06:05,794 Speaker 3: of only focus on one thing at a time, that 117 00:06:05,873 --> 00:06:10,274 Speaker 3: it's the randomness of the Jessica like being so unexpected 118 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,633 Speaker 3: that they shift gears. They can't they can't continue the 119 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:16,674 Speaker 3: tantrum because they're suddenly concerned that your fictitious friend is 120 00:06:16,674 --> 00:06:19,713 Speaker 3: about to rock up. Okay, studies have not been done 121 00:06:19,794 --> 00:06:22,874 Speaker 3: yet to decide whether other names work. We might be 122 00:06:22,914 --> 00:06:26,633 Speaker 3: able to yell Mon's Amelia who knows, but it works. 123 00:06:26,674 --> 00:06:29,234 Speaker 3: And the funniest thing is all the Jessica's in the comments, 124 00:06:29,274 --> 00:06:32,593 Speaker 3: being like, I'm busy, I've been called on a hundreds, 125 00:06:33,154 --> 00:06:35,873 Speaker 3: I'm on my way. But yeah, it seems to work. 126 00:06:35,993 --> 00:06:39,113 Speaker 2: Okay, excellent. I think if we can ask our listeners 127 00:06:39,393 --> 00:06:43,273 Speaker 2: to try it. Yes, it's the todd the tantrum hat. Yeah, 128 00:06:43,354 --> 00:06:45,473 Speaker 2: yelling out Jessica and then yeah, report back in the 129 00:06:45,513 --> 00:06:49,154 Speaker 2: comments or in comments on Spotify or on podcast Apple 130 00:06:49,193 --> 00:06:52,433 Speaker 2: reviews would be good. Also, perhaps we can use it 131 00:06:52,474 --> 00:06:54,513 Speaker 2: as a safe word on this show, because I am 132 00:06:54,553 --> 00:06:56,274 Speaker 2: going to have a tantrum a little bit later about 133 00:06:56,274 --> 00:06:58,714 Speaker 2: one of the topics we're talking about, and so if 134 00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:01,753 Speaker 2: I get to deep in, I just want to hear Jessica. 135 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:03,474 Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, we'll cut you off. 136 00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:08,153 Speaker 2: Okay, well, Jessica will all right? Many hours a day 137 00:07:08,234 --> 00:07:12,114 Speaker 2: you spend with your kids? Oh my god. A headline 138 00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:15,194 Speaker 2: in the Wall Street Journal caught my attention this week, 139 00:07:16,314 --> 00:07:18,994 Speaker 2: and I want to go there. The headline was the 140 00:07:19,074 --> 00:07:23,033 Speaker 2: Kardashian whisper who says three hours with her kids is enough. 141 00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:25,954 Speaker 2: And the profile was a woman called Emma Greed. Now, 142 00:07:25,994 --> 00:07:27,754 Speaker 2: if you don't know who she is, she was the 143 00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:32,273 Speaker 2: co founder of Skims. She also works on Good American. 144 00:07:31,914 --> 00:07:35,874 Speaker 4: With She has an amazing up in council housing in 145 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,674 Speaker 4: the UK and is now a self made billionaire. 146 00:07:38,754 --> 00:07:42,273 Speaker 2: Yeah, she is the CEO of multiple billion dollar brands. 147 00:07:42,514 --> 00:07:45,514 Speaker 2: She also has four children, and she's written a book 148 00:07:45,514 --> 00:07:48,634 Speaker 2: that's going to be published next week called Start with Yourself, 149 00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:51,994 Speaker 2: sort of a self help CEO boss bitch kind of book. 150 00:07:52,393 --> 00:07:54,234 Speaker 3: This is like the opposite to what you guys spoke 151 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,434 Speaker 3: about on the show last week with the you finish, 152 00:07:56,754 --> 00:07:59,994 Speaker 3: you go last, Like this is the opposite. She's like, no, 153 00:08:00,114 --> 00:08:00,834 Speaker 3: it's me first. 154 00:08:01,034 --> 00:08:04,833 Speaker 2: It absolutely is Stacy. Now, the part that everyone is 155 00:08:04,874 --> 00:08:07,794 Speaker 2: talking about in this profile piece in the book is 156 00:08:07,794 --> 00:08:11,234 Speaker 2: how she calls herself a max three hour mum. On 157 00:08:11,274 --> 00:08:14,114 Speaker 2: a weekend, she'll spend from nine till midday with her 158 00:08:14,234 --> 00:08:18,754 Speaker 2: children and after that she's done and she's off to activities, 159 00:08:18,794 --> 00:08:22,314 Speaker 2: which she says fill her cup. She doesn't engage in 160 00:08:22,354 --> 00:08:24,194 Speaker 2: any of the busy work of parenting, so she won't 161 00:08:24,194 --> 00:08:27,393 Speaker 2: be reading school emails or newsletters. She doesn't do lunchboxes, 162 00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:31,394 Speaker 2: she doesn't engage in any activities that she thinks are overparenting. Instead, 163 00:08:31,514 --> 00:08:33,634 Speaker 2: she says the time she spends with her kids is 164 00:08:33,754 --> 00:08:37,994 Speaker 2: high impact, core memory times. So it's all killer, no 165 00:08:38,154 --> 00:08:41,354 Speaker 2: filler for Emma Greed, What did you think when you 166 00:08:41,394 --> 00:08:42,154 Speaker 2: read this, Amelia? 167 00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:44,794 Speaker 4: I went on a real journey with it, because at 168 00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:48,394 Speaker 4: first I thought hard relate, like I would prefer to 169 00:08:48,474 --> 00:08:52,594 Speaker 4: do things on Saturday that were not exclusively with my children, 170 00:08:53,154 --> 00:08:56,754 Speaker 4: such as my weights class. But she had me until 171 00:08:56,874 --> 00:09:00,354 Speaker 4: she compared time spent with her children to limited edition 172 00:09:00,634 --> 00:09:03,594 Speaker 4: fashion collabs. This is when she mentioned that she's all 173 00:09:03,634 --> 00:09:07,354 Speaker 4: about creating high impact core memories. Some of these sample 174 00:09:07,434 --> 00:09:10,594 Speaker 4: she used with fishing trips or New York getaways. Now 175 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:13,114 Speaker 4: my issue with that is I have no problem with 176 00:09:13,154 --> 00:09:16,354 Speaker 4: women filling their cup and trying to make quality time 177 00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:19,314 Speaker 4: as opposed to just a quantity of time with their children. 178 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:22,794 Speaker 4: But I just don't think that kids' core memories are 179 00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:25,274 Speaker 4: what adults want them to be. When I look back 180 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:29,754 Speaker 4: at my core memories, it wasn't necessarily the high impact 181 00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:33,354 Speaker 4: quality time that crystallized in my mind. It was, in fact, 182 00:09:33,474 --> 00:09:37,434 Speaker 4: regular everyday, banal moments that just seem to feel really 183 00:09:37,434 --> 00:09:40,994 Speaker 4: cozy and encapsulate the closeness of family life, like how 184 00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:43,554 Speaker 4: we always used to have a big fry up breakfast 185 00:09:43,634 --> 00:09:46,554 Speaker 4: on Saturday mornings, or we went to Blockbuster on Friday nights. 186 00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:49,754 Speaker 4: I don't think either of those are high impact core memories. 187 00:09:49,874 --> 00:09:51,914 Speaker 3: One of my favorite memories with my dad is going 188 00:09:51,954 --> 00:09:57,234 Speaker 3: to the tip. I can remember it so clearly. Anymore, 189 00:09:57,274 --> 00:09:58,874 Speaker 3: we need to go to the tip too. 190 00:09:59,514 --> 00:10:01,274 Speaker 2: Did you get to sit on the back of the trailott? 191 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:01,594 Speaker 4: Yes? 192 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:04,234 Speaker 3: Yes, why I remember it? And you're right, like, that's 193 00:10:04,274 --> 00:10:07,274 Speaker 3: the most That is not a limited edition. That's it's 194 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,674 Speaker 3: not a fashion. No, that is not a fashion No, 195 00:10:10,554 --> 00:10:13,994 Speaker 3: it's the complete opposite. But I think we have to 196 00:10:13,994 --> 00:10:16,434 Speaker 3: acknowledge as well what she said and what I did 197 00:10:16,634 --> 00:10:19,314 Speaker 3: like about this, because I was the same as you, Amelia, 198 00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:21,714 Speaker 3: where I was like, well, like that would be nice. 199 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:24,874 Speaker 3: Of course, that would be nice. She is very upfront 200 00:10:24,914 --> 00:10:27,274 Speaker 3: about saying how much help she has, which I do 201 00:10:27,314 --> 00:10:29,954 Speaker 3: appreciate because it makes you feel like, well, this person 202 00:10:30,074 --> 00:10:32,353 Speaker 3: just is in a bit of a different realm. 203 00:10:32,234 --> 00:10:36,274 Speaker 4: Including multiple nannies, yeah, and a chef, so she can 204 00:10:36,394 --> 00:10:38,594 Speaker 4: opt out of those things that she thinks are you know, 205 00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:41,434 Speaker 4: too intensive, Like none of us would like to make 206 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,474 Speaker 4: the lunch boxes, but someone's got to do it. 207 00:10:43,994 --> 00:10:45,554 Speaker 3: But they've got someone who can do it. 208 00:10:45,834 --> 00:10:48,194 Speaker 2: So I went down a massive emmagred rabbit hole because 209 00:10:48,194 --> 00:10:50,074 Speaker 2: I didn't know really much about her or who she 210 00:10:50,114 --> 00:10:52,514 Speaker 2: was or what she stood for. And there are a 211 00:10:52,514 --> 00:10:53,954 Speaker 2: couple of things that she's doing that I think are 212 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,634 Speaker 2: pretty radical. One of the ones is that she kind 213 00:10:56,674 --> 00:10:59,994 Speaker 2: of removes the apology layer of a working mother. You know, 214 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,394 Speaker 2: when you work, and there's this layer of guilt and 215 00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:04,434 Speaker 2: it's I'm sorry, I have to go to work. I'm sorry, 216 00:11:04,474 --> 00:11:06,394 Speaker 2: I have to go to Sydney. I am I'm sorry, 217 00:11:06,394 --> 00:11:08,554 Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Have a listened to what she says about 218 00:11:08,594 --> 00:11:10,234 Speaker 2: this on the j Shatty podcast. 219 00:11:10,354 --> 00:11:14,514 Speaker 5: On purpose, I was constantly in some cycle of apologies. 220 00:11:14,714 --> 00:11:17,314 Speaker 5: I'm sorry that I'm leaving, I'm sorry that I'm going 221 00:11:17,354 --> 00:11:20,154 Speaker 5: to New York, I'm sorry that I'll be back late tonight. 222 00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:24,234 Speaker 5: And what I realized is that I created a narrative 223 00:11:24,674 --> 00:11:26,834 Speaker 5: that I didn't really like what I was doing. So 224 00:11:26,914 --> 00:11:29,994 Speaker 5: I'm working really hard to let my kids know, Yeah, 225 00:11:30,154 --> 00:11:32,794 Speaker 5: like I'm not the mom that is out every drop off. 226 00:11:32,874 --> 00:11:35,074 Speaker 5: I'm not the mom that is volunteering at the school. 227 00:11:35,274 --> 00:11:37,954 Speaker 5: But guess what, there are all of these other amazing 228 00:11:38,074 --> 00:11:39,834 Speaker 5: things that I do that I enjoy. 229 00:11:40,514 --> 00:11:43,394 Speaker 2: That feels radical to me to stop apologizing for being 230 00:11:43,554 --> 00:11:46,234 Speaker 2: a working mother, and it is just and this is 231 00:11:46,514 --> 00:11:47,994 Speaker 2: what I do, and I enjoy doing it. 232 00:11:48,194 --> 00:11:50,954 Speaker 3: Because the second you start apologizing, it's the second they're 233 00:11:50,994 --> 00:11:53,274 Speaker 3: kind of getting that narrative in their head ye that 234 00:11:53,314 --> 00:11:56,154 Speaker 3: you have something to be sorry for, like that you're 235 00:11:56,154 --> 00:11:57,794 Speaker 3: doing that because you don't want to be with them, 236 00:11:57,794 --> 00:11:59,354 Speaker 3: And that's just not the case. You're either doing it 237 00:11:59,394 --> 00:12:01,034 Speaker 3: because you enjoy it, or you're doing it because you 238 00:12:01,034 --> 00:12:02,634 Speaker 3: need to make money to raise them. 239 00:12:02,674 --> 00:12:04,394 Speaker 2: So I really love that. But the other I just 240 00:12:04,394 --> 00:12:06,514 Speaker 2: want to zoom out for a minute and just I'm 241 00:12:06,514 --> 00:12:08,274 Speaker 2: a bit done with the way that we talk to 242 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,634 Speaker 2: successful women. And I know this is a bit like 243 00:12:10,674 --> 00:12:14,034 Speaker 2: small f feminist, but this piece isn't just like a 244 00:12:14,074 --> 00:12:17,194 Speaker 2: profile of a successful business founder. It has this like 245 00:12:17,274 --> 00:12:20,434 Speaker 2: overlay of mum. Like no one's asking Jeff Bezos how 246 00:12:20,434 --> 00:12:22,674 Speaker 2: many hours he spends with his children on a weekend. 247 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:26,754 Speaker 2: No one's asking Elon Musk. It just feels like it 248 00:12:26,794 --> 00:12:29,114 Speaker 2: feels like a trap. These articles are pretending to be 249 00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:31,994 Speaker 2: about like ambition and modern success. But the headline is 250 00:12:31,994 --> 00:12:33,514 Speaker 2: about how much time she spends with their kids. 251 00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:36,794 Speaker 4: Well, and they clearly thought they were stoking outrage with that. Yeah, 252 00:12:36,954 --> 00:12:39,554 Speaker 4: they like it was picking the most impleammatory part of it, 253 00:12:39,714 --> 00:12:42,434 Speaker 4: when in fact, what she's saying is you need to 254 00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:43,634 Speaker 4: be comfortable with trade offs. 255 00:12:43,674 --> 00:12:45,914 Speaker 1: That's very much the bottom line of her message. 256 00:12:45,954 --> 00:12:48,834 Speaker 4: It's like, you can't do everything, figure out what your 257 00:12:48,874 --> 00:12:52,474 Speaker 4: priorities are and then unapologetically go after them. 258 00:12:52,594 --> 00:12:52,834 Speaker 3: Yeah. 259 00:12:52,914 --> 00:12:54,674 Speaker 2: The other thing I heard her talk about on this 260 00:12:54,754 --> 00:12:59,314 Speaker 2: podcast was she's not lying anymore. She said women have 261 00:12:59,514 --> 00:13:02,354 Speaker 2: just got to stop lying about the amount of help 262 00:13:02,394 --> 00:13:04,954 Speaker 2: they get and about how they feel about things. And 263 00:13:04,994 --> 00:13:07,714 Speaker 2: I think it's gonna ruffle some feathers, but I think 264 00:13:07,714 --> 00:13:09,354 Speaker 2: she's doing like it's for the greater good. 265 00:13:09,394 --> 00:13:12,754 Speaker 5: Right, I just stopped lying about it. I started to say, 266 00:13:13,194 --> 00:13:17,514 Speaker 5: this is really hard. I really have to make difficult choices. 267 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:21,714 Speaker 5: And when I made choices that were seemingly selfish or 268 00:13:21,794 --> 00:13:25,194 Speaker 5: about me, I stopped hiding them because I thought that 269 00:13:25,394 --> 00:13:27,394 Speaker 5: was doing a disservice to other women. 270 00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:30,674 Speaker 4: Why do you think women do lie about how much 271 00:13:30,714 --> 00:13:33,874 Speaker 4: help they have and how they're balancing everything. 272 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,874 Speaker 2: I don't know, what do you think, I don't. 273 00:13:37,994 --> 00:13:43,354 Speaker 3: I think it's probably competitiveness, Yeah, probably probably, and probably 274 00:13:43,394 --> 00:13:44,953 Speaker 3: a little bit of guilt because you know that other 275 00:13:44,994 --> 00:13:47,794 Speaker 3: people don't have that same amount of help. Like, if 276 00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,474 Speaker 3: you're in a position where you can afford a lot 277 00:13:49,474 --> 00:13:52,474 Speaker 3: of that help, that's amazing. I mean, it does make 278 00:13:52,554 --> 00:13:55,394 Speaker 3: you look like a more competent person that you can 279 00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:58,794 Speaker 3: do all of these things. So it's probably guilt. 280 00:13:58,994 --> 00:13:59,714 Speaker 1: I think it's. 281 00:13:59,554 --> 00:14:03,394 Speaker 4: Also that women are taught that there are finite resources 282 00:14:03,434 --> 00:14:05,914 Speaker 4: out there and that we're having to compete with each 283 00:14:05,954 --> 00:14:08,874 Speaker 4: other for them feel that way. They don't feel that 284 00:14:09,194 --> 00:14:13,274 Speaker 4: there's a limited pool that just all of mankind has 285 00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:16,634 Speaker 4: to attain. And I think for women that's why we 286 00:14:16,714 --> 00:14:19,274 Speaker 4: do shrod a lot of how we parent in secrecy, 287 00:14:19,754 --> 00:14:23,514 Speaker 4: because I think we've been taught to feel zealous and 288 00:14:23,594 --> 00:14:24,834 Speaker 4: protective of what we have. 289 00:14:25,834 --> 00:14:28,474 Speaker 2: It's also like we're expected to do it all so 290 00:14:28,674 --> 00:14:30,954 Speaker 2: all pretending that we are, aren't we. 291 00:14:31,194 --> 00:14:34,234 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think that's the thing that's interesting about 292 00:14:34,354 --> 00:14:38,234 Speaker 3: her is that she's kind of making something clear that 293 00:14:38,274 --> 00:14:40,954 Speaker 3: I think we all know is that nothing really responsibilities 294 00:14:40,954 --> 00:14:43,674 Speaker 3: didn't get taken off women. Other ones got at it 295 00:14:43,714 --> 00:14:46,794 Speaker 3: on top like we got. Yeah, okay, go and achieve 296 00:14:46,794 --> 00:14:48,234 Speaker 3: your dreams. But you've still got to do all of 297 00:14:48,234 --> 00:14:51,874 Speaker 3: this stuff as well. And what she's saying is something 298 00:14:51,914 --> 00:14:54,114 Speaker 3: has to give. You will have to do less in 299 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,514 Speaker 3: one of those spaces, either parenting or work, you will 300 00:14:56,554 --> 00:14:58,874 Speaker 3: have to do less. So just pick what that is 301 00:14:58,994 --> 00:15:01,234 Speaker 3: and go with it, and don't keep apologizing for it. 302 00:15:01,354 --> 00:15:03,154 Speaker 1: That said, what three hours would you pick? 303 00:15:04,994 --> 00:15:10,314 Speaker 3: I would pick eight eleven am obviously, well, I mean 304 00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:12,194 Speaker 3: maybe PM if they go to bit early, you're not 305 00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:14,834 Speaker 3: doing anything. I would pick eight to eleven am because 306 00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:18,914 Speaker 3: there's no meals happening in that time, but optimum mood 307 00:15:19,554 --> 00:15:23,514 Speaker 3: before they cried out eight to eleven with a protein 308 00:15:23,674 --> 00:15:26,474 Speaker 3: rich breakfast immediately before my shift begins. 309 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:30,314 Speaker 2: Yes, hours, I'm not picking five till eight pm. 310 00:15:30,474 --> 00:15:34,474 Speaker 3: You mean the ones that we get, the ones that 311 00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:37,634 Speaker 3: we are doing every week night. Yeah, no, no one's 312 00:15:37,674 --> 00:15:41,274 Speaker 3: no one's opting for those. So I'm at the point 313 00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:44,354 Speaker 3: where I am thinking about sport for my daughter. I'm 314 00:15:44,354 --> 00:15:45,354 Speaker 3: thinking about it a lot. 315 00:15:45,554 --> 00:15:49,394 Speaker 2: I'm cracking my knuckles because I'm stretching to get ready 316 00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:50,674 Speaker 2: for this conversation. 317 00:15:50,274 --> 00:15:52,754 Speaker 3: Waiting for me to ask about this. I am looking 318 00:15:52,754 --> 00:15:57,114 Speaker 3: around going what's the most expensive, what's the best for teamwork, 319 00:15:57,194 --> 00:16:00,074 Speaker 3: what has the least annoying training schedule? What time are 320 00:16:00,074 --> 00:16:04,714 Speaker 3: the games? And I'm gonna be honest, I'm scared because 321 00:16:05,234 --> 00:16:07,634 Speaker 3: every single person I know with older kids who are 322 00:16:07,674 --> 00:16:11,234 Speaker 3: kind of in that system of sport, it doesn't look fun, 323 00:16:11,794 --> 00:16:15,114 Speaker 3: it's expensive, and it seems to take up every single 324 00:16:15,154 --> 00:16:18,154 Speaker 3: minute they have, like they're not enjoying it. I've never 325 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,794 Speaker 3: had one of my friends be like, yay, I get 326 00:16:20,834 --> 00:16:23,154 Speaker 3: to sit in a field at eight am on Saturday 327 00:16:23,194 --> 00:16:25,474 Speaker 3: instead of hanging out with you, Like that's just not 328 00:16:26,034 --> 00:16:29,914 Speaker 3: that's not the narrative. And then I saw a clip 329 00:16:29,954 --> 00:16:33,274 Speaker 3: this week that perfectly summed up what I think is 330 00:16:33,314 --> 00:16:36,994 Speaker 3: wrong with kids' sport in twenty twenty six. It's from 331 00:16:37,154 --> 00:16:39,794 Speaker 3: the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. This is Glennan 332 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:43,954 Speaker 3: Doyle and Abby Wombach and then Glenn's sister Amanda is 333 00:16:43,954 --> 00:16:46,674 Speaker 3: on it as well, and she says this, it's so brilliant. 334 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,994 Speaker 2: Shout out to the parents who have kids in sports. 335 00:16:49,034 --> 00:16:51,034 Speaker 2: It's not It's awful, is what it is. 336 00:16:51,234 --> 00:16:52,314 Speaker 6: It's awful. 337 00:16:53,914 --> 00:16:54,714 Speaker 3: Half the time. 338 00:16:55,154 --> 00:16:56,834 Speaker 6: I want to just stand up in the middle and 339 00:16:56,834 --> 00:17:02,314 Speaker 6: being like we're doing this on purpose, for the purposes 340 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:05,474 Speaker 6: of fun. And I'm looking around and all the parents 341 00:17:05,513 --> 00:17:08,874 Speaker 6: either look pest that they're a kid in playing, pissed 342 00:17:08,874 --> 00:17:11,033 Speaker 6: that they're not playing like they should be because of 343 00:17:11,074 --> 00:17:13,754 Speaker 6: all the training and the money that they put into them, 344 00:17:13,794 --> 00:17:16,114 Speaker 6: mad at the coach for running a play. The coaches 345 00:17:16,114 --> 00:17:19,274 Speaker 6: are mad at the kids. This isn't an elective thing 346 00:17:19,314 --> 00:17:21,794 Speaker 6: in our life. This is something that no one has 347 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,674 Speaker 6: to do, and we're all came here to do it. 348 00:17:25,274 --> 00:17:27,274 Speaker 3: And raise your hand if. 349 00:17:27,234 --> 00:17:28,554 Speaker 2: Any of you are having fun? 350 00:17:29,074 --> 00:17:30,273 Speaker 1: What a great question? 351 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:33,234 Speaker 3: Isn't it great? And now, like Amelia, I don't want 352 00:17:33,234 --> 00:17:35,994 Speaker 3: to make judgments about your sporting prowess, but I'm going 353 00:17:35,994 --> 00:17:38,434 Speaker 3: to hedge your bet. But Mon's is the sportiest of 354 00:17:38,554 --> 00:17:38,874 Speaker 3: the three. 355 00:17:39,274 --> 00:17:40,714 Speaker 1: I think that's probably right. 356 00:17:41,274 --> 00:17:42,754 Speaker 3: What do you think is going on here? 357 00:17:42,874 --> 00:17:43,314 Speaker 2: Was okay? 358 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:43,874 Speaker 3: That affair? 359 00:17:43,954 --> 00:17:45,874 Speaker 1: When did? And was it always like this? 360 00:17:46,194 --> 00:17:46,874 Speaker 3: Yeah? 361 00:17:47,194 --> 00:17:51,474 Speaker 2: No it wasn't. Sport is broken. And there are a 362 00:17:51,514 --> 00:17:53,914 Speaker 2: few things that I'm seeing and I'm hearing and I'm 363 00:17:53,914 --> 00:17:58,154 Speaker 2: witnessing that are raising some big alarm bells for me. 364 00:17:58,914 --> 00:18:00,914 Speaker 2: Try not to get bored in this, Amelia. Okay, I'm 365 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,314 Speaker 2: going to try and help you, like to stay interested. 366 00:18:02,954 --> 00:18:04,594 Speaker 1: In glazing my eyes. 367 00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:04,874 Speaker 4: Okay. 368 00:18:06,274 --> 00:18:10,594 Speaker 2: Kids are now being put on pathways at six years old, right, 369 00:18:10,994 --> 00:18:14,273 Speaker 2: Kids as young as eight are doing private strength and 370 00:18:14,314 --> 00:18:18,874 Speaker 2: conditioning sessions in gyms in like academy style trainings. This 371 00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:21,434 Speaker 2: is on top of what they're currently doing with the club. 372 00:18:22,154 --> 00:18:27,714 Speaker 2: Some parents are tracking stats at AFL games like Division 373 00:18:27,754 --> 00:18:31,234 Speaker 2: five games, like there's an AFL scout, like waiting in 374 00:18:31,274 --> 00:18:33,874 Speaker 2: the wings to pick up their child, to pick up 375 00:18:33,914 --> 00:18:38,514 Speaker 2: their underten child. What we are seeing is really worrying 376 00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:41,074 Speaker 2: and it's a structural problem and the reason for it 377 00:18:41,114 --> 00:18:44,234 Speaker 2: is it's the corporatization of sport. Right in Australia. Sport 378 00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:46,434 Speaker 2: used to be about having a go and grassroots and 379 00:18:46,474 --> 00:18:48,634 Speaker 2: everyone is welcome, everyone can do it. But what it 380 00:18:48,714 --> 00:18:50,834 Speaker 2: is now is that we have with these clubs and 381 00:18:50,874 --> 00:18:54,794 Speaker 2: corporations whose best interests are themselves and their own viability. 382 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,793 Speaker 2: So instead of putting the kids at the center of 383 00:18:56,874 --> 00:19:00,554 Speaker 2: what they're doing, they often put themselves or their profit 384 00:19:00,674 --> 00:19:02,914 Speaker 2: or their viability ahead of it, right, which is a problem. 385 00:19:02,954 --> 00:19:05,074 Speaker 1: And it's only the sports associations. 386 00:19:05,154 --> 00:19:08,754 Speaker 2: Yeah, clubs and things. Clubs need to stay alive via money, 387 00:19:08,794 --> 00:19:11,594 Speaker 2: you know, and it's often they'll make decisions based on 388 00:19:12,114 --> 00:19:15,274 Speaker 2: keeping their corporation going rather than what's in the best 389 00:19:15,314 --> 00:19:17,313 Speaker 2: of the kids. So extra trainings and whatever. This is 390 00:19:17,314 --> 00:19:20,874 Speaker 2: following an American model. Okay, now this is not this 391 00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:22,234 Speaker 2: is like not my wheeling. 392 00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:23,594 Speaker 1: This on Americans too. 393 00:19:24,514 --> 00:19:27,674 Speaker 2: In Europe, it's not like this. In Europe, it's sport 394 00:19:27,794 --> 00:19:31,434 Speaker 2: is very social. It's not about competitiveness or who wins 395 00:19:31,514 --> 00:19:34,434 Speaker 2: or who loses. It's actually a much more social approach 396 00:19:34,554 --> 00:19:38,914 Speaker 2: to sport. In Scandinavian countries like Norway, they have actually 397 00:19:39,034 --> 00:19:42,874 Speaker 2: legislated that kids cannot go into specialist programs before the 398 00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:47,154 Speaker 2: age of thirteen, and every kid thirteen they cannot play 399 00:19:47,274 --> 00:19:50,514 Speaker 2: at an adult level until they're thirteen, and they are 400 00:19:50,674 --> 00:19:54,234 Speaker 2: encouraged to play a wide range of sports. Now. As 401 00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:58,353 Speaker 2: a consequence, their sports participation rates are double what they 402 00:19:58,394 --> 00:20:01,194 Speaker 2: are in Australia. Right, every kid in Norwegian countries plays 403 00:20:01,194 --> 00:20:02,354 Speaker 2: sports like ninety percent. 404 00:20:02,354 --> 00:20:05,434 Speaker 4: It's crazy because kids get alienated here, don't they from 405 00:20:05,434 --> 00:20:06,194 Speaker 4: all the pressure. 406 00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:08,594 Speaker 3: Well that's it. It feels like even now when I'm 407 00:20:08,594 --> 00:20:11,434 Speaker 3: looking at it, not even involved in any sport, not 408 00:20:11,474 --> 00:20:13,834 Speaker 3: even knowing what my daughter's ability would be in any sport, 409 00:20:13,914 --> 00:20:15,674 Speaker 3: that I'm kind of like well, you better make the 410 00:20:15,794 --> 00:20:18,033 Speaker 3: right call, because you know, if she's not put at that, 411 00:20:18,114 --> 00:20:20,553 Speaker 3: then she misses a chance to do another sport. And 412 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,074 Speaker 3: if you're saying thirteen, that is such a big gap 413 00:20:23,074 --> 00:20:26,554 Speaker 3: for them to experiment and play, literally play and see 414 00:20:26,594 --> 00:20:28,754 Speaker 3: which of those things they're good which are having to. 415 00:20:28,714 --> 00:20:31,553 Speaker 1: Make the call, and it'll probably make them better sports people. Anyway. 416 00:20:31,554 --> 00:20:34,434 Speaker 4: There's a book called Range by a sports writer named 417 00:20:34,514 --> 00:20:37,754 Speaker 4: David Epstein, and his basic premise is that if you 418 00:20:37,794 --> 00:20:41,914 Speaker 4: look at some of the greatest athletes, they didn't specialize 419 00:20:41,994 --> 00:20:44,154 Speaker 4: until late in the piece, and in fact, getting to 420 00:20:44,274 --> 00:20:47,513 Speaker 4: know their bodies and their physical capabilities across a range 421 00:20:47,554 --> 00:20:50,513 Speaker 4: of different activities stood them in really good stead. 422 00:20:50,634 --> 00:20:52,914 Speaker 2: So yes, the science is there. And I want to 423 00:20:52,954 --> 00:20:58,034 Speaker 2: say to every parent, Michael Jordan didn't start playing basketball 424 00:20:58,114 --> 00:21:02,634 Speaker 2: until he was twelve years old, I, who played for Australia, 425 00:21:02,954 --> 00:21:06,674 Speaker 2: didn't get good until I was fifteen. Like all these 426 00:21:06,714 --> 00:21:09,314 Speaker 2: parents hinge their hopes on their eight year old and 427 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:12,354 Speaker 2: nine year old, They're not going to be an elite athlete. 428 00:21:12,434 --> 00:21:16,034 Speaker 2: It's not what that's not what creates good elite athletes. 429 00:21:16,114 --> 00:21:19,154 Speaker 2: What the science and the data says is a range 430 00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:22,594 Speaker 2: of sports and keeping them engaged in sports is about 431 00:21:22,674 --> 00:21:26,033 Speaker 2: fun and participation, but it's really hard when all of 432 00:21:26,074 --> 00:21:28,394 Speaker 2: these clubs put pressure and parents too. 433 00:21:28,474 --> 00:21:30,994 Speaker 4: Now, I don't think it's just the clubs, like anecdotally, 434 00:21:31,034 --> 00:21:35,714 Speaker 4: what I've been observing is that parents themselves are putting 435 00:21:35,714 --> 00:21:37,594 Speaker 4: a lot of pressure on kids. And I was speaking 436 00:21:37,674 --> 00:21:40,394 Speaker 4: to a friend, yes in the US, who told me 437 00:21:40,714 --> 00:21:44,474 Speaker 4: that among like super rich parents like you know, one 438 00:21:44,474 --> 00:21:47,793 Speaker 4: percent parents, having kids who are good at sport is 439 00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:51,874 Speaker 4: now seen as a gateway to success in life, which 440 00:21:51,994 --> 00:21:54,594 Speaker 4: used to be academic achievement. So because we live in 441 00:21:54,634 --> 00:21:57,714 Speaker 4: an age of anxiety around what students should even be 442 00:21:57,834 --> 00:22:01,234 Speaker 4: learning in school, or the hyper privileged, parents are saying 443 00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:05,114 Speaker 4: the only short way to success is getting a kid 444 00:22:05,114 --> 00:22:08,273 Speaker 4: who's good at sport, and really putting a lot of 445 00:22:08,314 --> 00:22:11,954 Speaker 4: pressure on kids to perform in sport as a way 446 00:22:11,994 --> 00:22:13,033 Speaker 4: of getting a hat. 447 00:22:13,234 --> 00:22:16,553 Speaker 2: This is such a problem that Sports Medicine Peak bodies, 448 00:22:17,394 --> 00:22:19,553 Speaker 2: the AIS and amongst others had to put out a 449 00:22:19,594 --> 00:22:23,554 Speaker 2: position statement a couple of years ago about kids specializing 450 00:22:23,554 --> 00:22:25,313 Speaker 2: in sport too young. They're seeing so much of it 451 00:22:25,354 --> 00:22:28,194 Speaker 2: that they had to say this is damaging, Please don't 452 00:22:28,234 --> 00:22:30,834 Speaker 2: do it, Please stop doing it. These are the experts 453 00:22:30,834 --> 00:22:32,874 Speaker 2: in it saying just stop, it's much better to play 454 00:22:32,874 --> 00:22:35,394 Speaker 2: a range of sports. But the other thing that's really 455 00:22:35,434 --> 00:22:38,674 Speaker 2: striking is that something I heard Kieran Perkins say. Now 456 00:22:38,714 --> 00:22:42,554 Speaker 2: he was an Olympic swimmer gold medalist fifteen hundred meters. 457 00:22:42,554 --> 00:22:44,274 Speaker 2: I remember watching that when I was a kid, and 458 00:22:44,314 --> 00:22:46,874 Speaker 2: now he's the CEO of the Australian Sports Commission, and 459 00:22:46,954 --> 00:22:49,994 Speaker 2: he was on the sport Ish podcast with Georgie Tricket 460 00:22:50,074 --> 00:22:52,513 Speaker 2: and Livy Trigket's a really good podcast that talks about 461 00:22:52,554 --> 00:22:56,474 Speaker 2: exactly this right participation in sport. And he said, you know, 462 00:22:56,554 --> 00:22:58,994 Speaker 2: these days, when you ask a kid, you say what 463 00:22:59,194 --> 00:23:02,313 Speaker 2: sport do you play? Whereas when I was growing up, 464 00:23:02,354 --> 00:23:06,273 Speaker 2: it was what sports plural do you play? Because it 465 00:23:06,354 --> 00:23:09,194 Speaker 2: was really normal to play many. But now I guess 466 00:23:09,234 --> 00:23:11,634 Speaker 2: the cost of it well and the access to it 467 00:23:11,794 --> 00:23:13,434 Speaker 2: the time exactly. 468 00:23:13,114 --> 00:23:15,474 Speaker 3: Seven eight year olds who are in training three or 469 00:23:15,474 --> 00:23:17,794 Speaker 3: four nights a week and then they play a game 470 00:23:18,234 --> 00:23:21,034 Speaker 3: on the weekend, like, how could you pot? You couldn't, 471 00:23:21,114 --> 00:23:23,114 Speaker 3: You couldn't go and do anything else, and it just 472 00:23:23,114 --> 00:23:26,354 Speaker 3: feels like there's no room for mediocrity now, like you 473 00:23:26,394 --> 00:23:28,594 Speaker 3: can't do it socially, it feels like you're all in 474 00:23:28,674 --> 00:23:29,314 Speaker 3: or you're out. 475 00:23:29,514 --> 00:23:32,994 Speaker 2: You cannot think like that, okay, because if you start 476 00:23:33,034 --> 00:23:35,793 Speaker 2: to think that sport is not for you and your child, 477 00:23:35,954 --> 00:23:39,154 Speaker 2: that is when all that grassroots stuff starts to fall 478 00:23:39,154 --> 00:23:41,914 Speaker 2: away and then we end up only with elite people 479 00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:42,914 Speaker 2: and crazy parents. 480 00:23:42,994 --> 00:23:43,274 Speaker 4: Okay. 481 00:23:43,594 --> 00:23:46,394 Speaker 2: So what I want to say is like the Australian 482 00:23:46,434 --> 00:23:48,994 Speaker 2: Sports Commission is actually so aware of this, and they're 483 00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:52,314 Speaker 2: trying to work on like a participation strategy, which is like, hey, 484 00:23:52,674 --> 00:23:55,554 Speaker 2: remember sport being fun, everyone like, come and play sport 485 00:23:55,594 --> 00:23:58,474 Speaker 2: and just have fun. And what they say, what Georgia 486 00:23:58,474 --> 00:24:01,074 Speaker 2: Trickett said to me today because I rang around, was like, God, 487 00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:04,474 Speaker 2: I get to talk about very Roman empire. We need 488 00:24:04,674 --> 00:24:09,634 Speaker 2: parents like you, Stacey, who aren't super sporty to still 489 00:24:09,674 --> 00:24:11,714 Speaker 2: get your kids into sport and have fun with them, right, 490 00:24:11,754 --> 00:24:15,034 Speaker 2: because the more we can get kids participating, the better 491 00:24:15,114 --> 00:24:16,634 Speaker 2: it is, the better outcomes for everyone. 492 00:24:16,794 --> 00:24:17,514 Speaker 1: But that makes me. 493 00:24:17,474 --> 00:24:20,513 Speaker 4: Feel so much better because I don't have sporty kids 494 00:24:20,554 --> 00:24:22,874 Speaker 4: and I'm plugging away at it, and sometimes I worry 495 00:24:22,874 --> 00:24:24,794 Speaker 4: that they're like a liability to the team. 496 00:24:25,474 --> 00:24:28,954 Speaker 2: But keep plugging, keep plugging, and there is no pressure 497 00:24:28,994 --> 00:24:30,834 Speaker 2: to pick a path. The more they can play the 498 00:24:30,914 --> 00:24:33,833 Speaker 2: better and at any level and free play and whatever 499 00:24:33,874 --> 00:24:36,674 Speaker 2: it is. It doesn't all have to be elite performance pathways. 500 00:24:36,714 --> 00:24:38,954 Speaker 3: This is also a message for those parents as well, 501 00:24:39,034 --> 00:24:41,714 Speaker 3: because it's the parents on the sidelines that can get scary. 502 00:24:41,794 --> 00:24:44,354 Speaker 3: You're like, you're not watching a first grade NRL game here. 503 00:24:44,394 --> 00:24:46,554 Speaker 3: This is like five year olds running around and probably 504 00:24:46,634 --> 00:24:48,554 Speaker 3: running in the wrong direction, Like just let. 505 00:24:48,514 --> 00:24:51,674 Speaker 2: Them something so wild to me. So this year my 506 00:24:51,914 --> 00:24:55,474 Speaker 2: children play club basketball, and the club sent out an email. 507 00:24:55,674 --> 00:25:00,554 Speaker 2: The entire organization of BASWA and South Australia now has 508 00:25:00,554 --> 00:25:04,074 Speaker 2: a red card system for parents on the cymos. If 509 00:25:04,114 --> 00:25:06,793 Speaker 2: you get red carded, you've got That's how bad the 510 00:25:06,834 --> 00:25:09,834 Speaker 2: behaavior is of parents at sport. And this is something 511 00:25:09,914 --> 00:25:11,674 Speaker 2: that happens across all kinds of codes. 512 00:25:12,354 --> 00:25:14,434 Speaker 3: So this is really this is what they need, is 513 00:25:14,474 --> 00:25:16,994 Speaker 3: the non sporty parents, because I want to know if 514 00:25:17,034 --> 00:25:18,674 Speaker 3: the kids are doing it wrong, I'll just. 515 00:25:18,594 --> 00:25:22,594 Speaker 1: Be like, yes, a great benefits to the well, we. 516 00:25:22,594 --> 00:25:24,994 Speaker 3: Should be ambassadors for average sport. 517 00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:28,634 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're more important than ever. I mean, this is 518 00:25:28,674 --> 00:25:31,114 Speaker 2: my Roman Empire right. If I wasn't sitting here talking 519 00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:32,954 Speaker 2: about a podcast, I would be trobably trying to work 520 00:25:32,994 --> 00:25:35,634 Speaker 2: for the Australian Sports Commission and get more kids playing sport. 521 00:25:35,914 --> 00:25:38,073 Speaker 2: And if it's your Roman Empire two are you're interested 522 00:25:38,114 --> 00:25:39,874 Speaker 2: in it? Go and listen to sport Ish. It's a 523 00:25:39,954 --> 00:25:43,874 Speaker 2: really good podcast run by these two women, two intelligent mums. 524 00:25:43,874 --> 00:25:46,954 Speaker 2: Libby Tricket, Olympic swimmer and her sister in law Georgie Trickett, 525 00:25:46,994 --> 00:25:49,834 Speaker 2: and they are trying to spread the word to exactly 526 00:25:49,914 --> 00:25:52,033 Speaker 2: parents like you. Stacy and Amelia. 527 00:25:53,394 --> 00:25:55,474 Speaker 4: Well, it's time for that part of the show where 528 00:25:55,514 --> 00:25:58,394 Speaker 4: we tell you the things that we are loving. Sick 529 00:25:58,554 --> 00:26:01,314 Speaker 4: and Mon's I know you're excited about yours. 530 00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:01,914 Speaker 1: Let's go. 531 00:26:02,314 --> 00:26:05,234 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so I have it's school holidays right, 532 00:26:05,354 --> 00:26:07,354 Speaker 2: oh god, how are we going to fill the days? 533 00:26:07,994 --> 00:26:11,954 Speaker 2: I have three low cost school holiday ideas or burn 534 00:26:11,994 --> 00:26:14,714 Speaker 2: half a day? Okay Number one. This is when you're 535 00:26:14,714 --> 00:26:16,634 Speaker 2: feeling good at the start of school holidays. You've got 536 00:26:16,634 --> 00:26:19,434 Speaker 2: the energy. Go to the art gallery. I'll tell you why. 537 00:26:19,474 --> 00:26:22,554 Speaker 2: It's free and it burns half a day and there's 538 00:26:22,594 --> 00:26:24,834 Speaker 2: cool things to look at and most of the art 539 00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:26,954 Speaker 2: galleries are so thankful that children are there and they're 540 00:26:26,994 --> 00:26:29,154 Speaker 2: like pro kids, pro kids. They have like a little 541 00:26:29,194 --> 00:26:31,474 Speaker 2: studio that kids can do fun art things in and 542 00:26:31,514 --> 00:26:33,954 Speaker 2: it costs you nothing except to stand there and say, 543 00:26:34,114 --> 00:26:37,834 Speaker 2: don't touch anything, all right. My second idea is called 544 00:26:37,954 --> 00:26:40,354 Speaker 2: beach patrol. If you live near a beach or you 545 00:26:40,394 --> 00:26:42,234 Speaker 2: don't take a trip to the beach, and tell your 546 00:26:42,274 --> 00:26:44,554 Speaker 2: children they are on beach patrol and give them each 547 00:26:44,594 --> 00:26:46,754 Speaker 2: a bag and they have to fill it with rubbish. 548 00:26:46,874 --> 00:26:48,714 Speaker 2: I'm not joking. I did this with my kids and 549 00:26:48,754 --> 00:26:51,194 Speaker 2: they thought they were the Octennaughts cleaning up the beach 550 00:26:51,834 --> 00:26:52,513 Speaker 2: and they loved it. 551 00:26:52,954 --> 00:26:55,954 Speaker 3: Yes, and have looked so smug to the other parents. 552 00:26:57,154 --> 00:26:59,674 Speaker 2: No, they are all probably other parents like why she 553 00:26:59,754 --> 00:27:02,834 Speaker 2: letting her kids pick up syringes on the beach, but 554 00:27:03,194 --> 00:27:06,834 Speaker 2: dress warmly, they don't feel the cold beaches in autumn. Lovely, 555 00:27:07,274 --> 00:27:09,834 Speaker 2: Just say your job is to pick up the rubbish 556 00:27:09,874 --> 00:27:12,434 Speaker 2: like the oxen Norts, would you know? And yeah, beach 557 00:27:12,434 --> 00:27:14,954 Speaker 2: patrol is a real winner in my house. And the 558 00:27:14,994 --> 00:27:17,513 Speaker 2: third one is called rock bottom Bunnings. Now save this 559 00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:20,073 Speaker 2: for on a day when you're feeling so low, like 560 00:27:20,114 --> 00:27:22,754 Speaker 2: you're a low ebb. You might be hung over, you 561 00:27:22,834 --> 00:27:26,833 Speaker 2: might just be done, burnt out or over stimulated. And 562 00:27:26,874 --> 00:27:28,874 Speaker 2: what you do is you take your children to Bunnings 563 00:27:28,954 --> 00:27:31,513 Speaker 2: and you give them five dollars and you can say 564 00:27:31,994 --> 00:27:36,794 Speaker 2: you can buy whatever you want. It will blow their minds. 565 00:27:36,954 --> 00:27:40,514 Speaker 2: It's a warehouse, it has pieces of pipe, it has 566 00:27:40,714 --> 00:27:43,914 Speaker 2: little screws and knobs. You can say, sure you want 567 00:27:43,914 --> 00:27:46,313 Speaker 2: a plant, of course you can. Let's go look at 568 00:27:46,314 --> 00:27:49,033 Speaker 2: the plumbing aisle. Their minds will be blown. And it 569 00:27:49,154 --> 00:27:51,394 Speaker 2: definitely because there's always playground in a Bunnings too, right, 570 00:27:51,474 --> 00:27:53,674 Speaker 2: It's a really good way to burn half a day. 571 00:27:53,714 --> 00:27:55,434 Speaker 2: And if you're lucky, your Bunnings will also have a 572 00:27:55,474 --> 00:27:57,794 Speaker 2: cafe so you can like have the coffee while they're 573 00:27:57,794 --> 00:27:59,954 Speaker 2: on the playground, and it just is a really good 574 00:27:59,994 --> 00:28:01,034 Speaker 2: time was stuff. 575 00:28:00,754 --> 00:28:03,033 Speaker 4: And then you're done with your Emma Gred three hours 576 00:28:03,074 --> 00:28:04,274 Speaker 4: and you hand them off to the naw. 577 00:28:04,394 --> 00:28:07,754 Speaker 3: Yeah, perfect, love perfect. 578 00:28:08,874 --> 00:28:11,434 Speaker 1: I have a book series called Brinkley Yearbook. 579 00:28:11,594 --> 00:28:15,793 Speaker 4: I discovered these at the library because I feel like 580 00:28:15,834 --> 00:28:19,594 Speaker 4: they plug an interesting hole or a difficult, awkward moment 581 00:28:19,674 --> 00:28:24,154 Speaker 4: in reading development where kids are too old for picture 582 00:28:24,194 --> 00:28:27,914 Speaker 4: books that are not yet on chapter books and their 583 00:28:27,914 --> 00:28:28,914 Speaker 4: graphic novels. 584 00:28:28,994 --> 00:28:32,234 Speaker 1: They're set in kind of upper primary and. 585 00:28:32,194 --> 00:28:34,194 Speaker 4: I love books where you get to know, like all 586 00:28:34,234 --> 00:28:37,674 Speaker 4: the kids at a school Hating Alison Ashley was my 587 00:28:38,034 --> 00:28:42,034 Speaker 4: favorite book growing up, so it's giving Hating Alison Ashley. 588 00:28:42,514 --> 00:28:45,714 Speaker 4: It's set in an upper primary level, but it's perfect 589 00:28:45,794 --> 00:28:48,274 Speaker 4: for like those kids who are maybe in year one 590 00:28:48,554 --> 00:28:52,274 Speaker 4: who are looking for an in between book. They're by 591 00:28:52,354 --> 00:28:54,634 Speaker 4: an author called Sarah Sachs. The first one is called 592 00:28:54,714 --> 00:28:55,954 Speaker 4: Picture Day. There's three that. 593 00:28:55,914 --> 00:28:56,754 Speaker 1: Are out at the moment. 594 00:28:56,994 --> 00:29:00,234 Speaker 4: They're very believable plots, Like my kids really liked that 595 00:29:00,394 --> 00:29:02,634 Speaker 4: in one of the books, this girl has a big 596 00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:05,994 Speaker 4: crush on someone and she gets embarrassed around him, and 597 00:29:06,074 --> 00:29:06,594 Speaker 4: they know. 598 00:29:06,634 --> 00:29:08,434 Speaker 1: They're fievable for the age group. 599 00:29:08,474 --> 00:29:12,554 Speaker 4: They're not overly sanitized, very diverse set of characters, and 600 00:29:12,754 --> 00:29:13,434 Speaker 4: get them from. 601 00:29:13,314 --> 00:29:14,474 Speaker 1: Your local library. 602 00:29:14,554 --> 00:29:16,714 Speaker 2: Yes, what's it called. 603 00:29:16,554 --> 00:29:19,794 Speaker 1: The Brinkley Yearbook? B R I N. 604 00:29:19,914 --> 00:29:23,354 Speaker 3: K Ellieway, exactly cute. I've gone a bit rogue this 605 00:29:23,354 --> 00:29:25,514 Speaker 3: week and have two. I've broken the rules as well. 606 00:29:25,514 --> 00:29:27,514 Speaker 3: You had three, yes, so I figure I can have 607 00:29:27,554 --> 00:29:31,114 Speaker 3: two and it's fine. My first is just a terrible, 608 00:29:31,234 --> 00:29:33,194 Speaker 3: great show to watch on it. 609 00:29:33,434 --> 00:29:35,474 Speaker 1: That's kind of your beat on this podcast. 610 00:29:35,514 --> 00:29:39,234 Speaker 3: I'm never going to bring you a highbrow documentary or 611 00:29:39,714 --> 00:29:41,794 Speaker 3: like a drama. It's always going to be this type 612 00:29:41,794 --> 00:29:43,834 Speaker 3: of show. I'm so sorry, but just trust me alone. 613 00:29:43,834 --> 00:29:44,914 Speaker 1: Don't apologize. 614 00:29:45,074 --> 00:29:48,754 Speaker 3: You're right, No, use your your afternoon filling your cup 615 00:29:48,794 --> 00:29:51,674 Speaker 3: watching this show instead of with your children. It's age 616 00:29:51,714 --> 00:29:53,314 Speaker 3: of attraction. Have you seen this? 617 00:29:53,594 --> 00:29:56,114 Speaker 1: Is this the one about people who are very different ages? 618 00:29:56,274 --> 00:30:00,394 Speaker 3: Yes, so it's forty. They put forty people into this retreat, 619 00:30:00,554 --> 00:30:03,954 Speaker 3: so it's like twenty men twenty women. The only thing 620 00:30:03,954 --> 00:30:05,914 Speaker 3: they are not allowed to ask one another is what 621 00:30:05,994 --> 00:30:08,394 Speaker 3: is your age? Not allowed to tell each other their 622 00:30:08,434 --> 00:30:12,354 Speaker 3: age under any circumstance. And you also don't know their age. Okay, 623 00:30:12,394 --> 00:30:15,394 Speaker 3: So as they start dating, so they speed date everyone. 624 00:30:15,594 --> 00:30:18,474 Speaker 3: They all date each other at least once, and then 625 00:30:18,514 --> 00:30:21,634 Speaker 3: they start gravitating towards people. Now, some of them are 626 00:30:21,714 --> 00:30:24,274 Speaker 3: obviously younger or older, but some of them are like, 627 00:30:24,354 --> 00:30:26,994 Speaker 3: I don't know, Like this person could be fifty, yeah, 628 00:30:27,074 --> 00:30:29,994 Speaker 3: this person could be twenty. If they decide that's the 629 00:30:29,994 --> 00:30:31,914 Speaker 3: person they want to stick with. In the retreat, they 630 00:30:31,994 --> 00:30:35,034 Speaker 3: have to go to the promise room and then reveal 631 00:30:35,114 --> 00:30:37,354 Speaker 3: their ages to one another and give each other a ring, 632 00:30:37,634 --> 00:30:41,034 Speaker 3: like not an engagement ring, but like a promise ring. 633 00:30:41,194 --> 00:30:44,954 Speaker 4: I assumes ring come out after they've said their ages, 634 00:30:45,274 --> 00:30:48,354 Speaker 4: no before so they do it, and then they tell 635 00:30:48,394 --> 00:30:51,194 Speaker 4: each other the ages and the promise ring is legally 636 00:30:51,194 --> 00:30:51,514 Speaker 4: bind you. 637 00:30:51,634 --> 00:30:55,434 Speaker 3: Yes, you cannot take it off ever again. And some 638 00:30:55,514 --> 00:30:55,994 Speaker 3: of them are. 639 00:30:55,914 --> 00:30:58,274 Speaker 2: Cooked, like really, oh car. 640 00:30:58,594 --> 00:31:00,714 Speaker 3: And it's so interesting because some of them where they 641 00:31:00,754 --> 00:31:03,314 Speaker 3: are perfectly reasonable, you know, like where they're like two 642 00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:05,794 Speaker 3: or three years difference four or five, you just never 643 00:31:05,834 --> 00:31:09,554 Speaker 3: see them again in one episode and then they're like, bye, 644 00:31:09,994 --> 00:31:11,874 Speaker 3: we care about these people over here with a thirty 645 00:31:11,874 --> 00:31:14,474 Speaker 3: three year age gap. It is wild. And then they 646 00:31:14,834 --> 00:31:18,394 Speaker 3: move in together immediately, date for the length of the experiment, 647 00:31:18,434 --> 00:31:20,154 Speaker 3: and then decide if they're going to make it on 648 00:31:20,194 --> 00:31:23,434 Speaker 3: the outside. And I've spoiler looked up a lot of them. 649 00:31:23,634 --> 00:31:25,434 Speaker 3: Some of them are still together, some of them not, 650 00:31:25,554 --> 00:31:26,554 Speaker 3: but some of them are. 651 00:31:26,874 --> 00:31:30,314 Speaker 2: During TV execs are just like, what stories? 652 00:31:30,594 --> 00:31:31,714 Speaker 3: What else can we do? 653 00:31:31,834 --> 00:31:33,874 Speaker 2: What stories do people click on? All the time? Now 654 00:31:33,914 --> 00:31:36,514 Speaker 2: everyone likes an age gap? Oh I've got an idea 655 00:31:36,514 --> 00:31:37,074 Speaker 2: for a show. 656 00:31:37,194 --> 00:31:41,154 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so juicy, it's great to watch. And then 657 00:31:41,194 --> 00:31:44,754 Speaker 3: my other just little bonus, tiny reco is something I 658 00:31:44,834 --> 00:31:47,314 Speaker 3: listen It's a song. I listened to it three times 659 00:31:47,314 --> 00:31:48,834 Speaker 3: this morning and was like, I could listen to this 660 00:31:48,954 --> 00:31:50,594 Speaker 3: five hundred times in a row and not get sick 661 00:31:50,634 --> 00:31:52,914 Speaker 3: of it. It's Harry Styles has done a cover of 662 00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:54,314 Speaker 3: Everybody Wants to Rule the World. 663 00:31:54,354 --> 00:31:55,074 Speaker 1: I love now. 664 00:31:56,434 --> 00:31:59,114 Speaker 3: I clearly sing it like Harry does. It is the 665 00:31:59,154 --> 00:32:01,914 Speaker 3: best cover of a song I've ever heard. It's amazingly 666 00:32:02,274 --> 00:32:06,314 Speaker 3: that's amazing. Mike was on like he was, he's amazing. 667 00:32:06,434 --> 00:32:07,634 Speaker 3: You need to need to listen. 668 00:32:07,714 --> 00:32:08,154 Speaker 1: That's great. 669 00:32:08,194 --> 00:32:10,274 Speaker 4: I looked it up on it wasn't on Spotify. I 670 00:32:10,274 --> 00:32:12,114 Speaker 4: guess you have to go to YouTube. That's the annoying thing. 671 00:32:12,154 --> 00:32:13,914 Speaker 3: You do. Have to listen to it on YouTube instead 672 00:32:13,954 --> 00:32:15,674 Speaker 3: of on Spotify. And I'm hoping they'll put it on 673 00:32:15,714 --> 00:32:17,074 Speaker 3: there at some point because it's. 674 00:32:16,874 --> 00:32:19,154 Speaker 1: Got a saxophone, which I was not expecting. 675 00:32:19,234 --> 00:32:21,834 Speaker 3: He's got a brass band in it. Like it's it's amazing. 676 00:32:21,914 --> 00:32:22,354 Speaker 1: It's great. 677 00:32:22,514 --> 00:32:25,954 Speaker 2: That's so good. Yeah, thank you for your rex. That 678 00:32:26,154 --> 00:32:27,794 Speaker 2: is what we have time for this week on Parenting 679 00:32:27,834 --> 00:32:30,554 Speaker 2: Out Loud. So if you're listening, if you're watching sport, 680 00:32:30,634 --> 00:32:34,474 Speaker 2: good on you don get red carded. Good luck these 681 00:32:34,474 --> 00:32:37,074 Speaker 2: school holidays, and a big thanks to our team that 682 00:32:37,154 --> 00:32:39,874 Speaker 2: works on this show. Our exec producer is Sashtanic, our 683 00:32:39,954 --> 00:32:42,914 Speaker 2: audio producers Jacob brown a Content manager of Podcasts is 684 00:32:42,914 --> 00:32:45,954 Speaker 2: to Listen Asas and Group executive producer is Ruth Divine. 685 00:32:46,314 --> 00:32:48,394 Speaker 2: Have a great week. We'll be back in this feed 686 00:32:48,474 --> 00:32:49,514 Speaker 2: next Saturday morning. 687 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:50,594 Speaker 3: You're just some sports. 688 00:32:50,754 --> 00:32:53,234 Speaker 2: Yeah bye bye bye. 689 00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:54,754 Speaker 3: Mumma. 690 00:32:54,834 --> 00:32:57,274 Speaker 2: Me acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which 691 00:32:57,314 --> 00:32:58,714 Speaker 2: we have recorded this podcast.