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Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm Ama Mia podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello and welcome.

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Speaker 3: To what women are actually talking about on Monday Friday.

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Speaker 1: So I forgot to say the name of Saturday.

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Speaker 3: I think maybe this is a Friday problem. Hello, and

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Speaker 3: welcome to Mom and Mia out loud. It's what women

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Speaker 3: are actually talking about on Friday, the twenty third of

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Speaker 3: February January.

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Speaker 4: Wow, can we go home now? I'm done?

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Speaker 1: What's wrong with me? It's been a week. I've all distracted. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I'm Holly way By. I got that bit allegedly.

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Speaker 2: Allegedly, I'm and I'm Jesse Stevens.

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Speaker 3: And here's what's on our agenda for today for our

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Speaker 3: Friday show. Maybe you've recovered from watching Heated Rivalry. Maybe

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Speaker 3: you're about to dive in whatever. It's a global phenom.

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Speaker 3: It has been now for a good month or so.

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Speaker 3: And em has a theory about why straight women are

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Speaker 3: obsessed with queer romance.

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Speaker 2: And if you haven't watched it, I'm here and hold

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Speaker 2: your hand.

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Speaker 1: You don't need to have watched it.

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Speaker 3: You definitely don't need to have watched it because it's

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Speaker 3: bigger than those two hockey players.

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Speaker 4: Plus there are new way friends are hanging out now.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't involve wine. It does involve the taxes.

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Speaker 2: It can it always can sound moveing and am I

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Speaker 2: venting too much? The answer is definitely. But does that

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Speaker 2: make me a bad friend because according to some experts, yes, yes.

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Speaker 4: But first, in case you missed it, two besties named

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Speaker 4: Matt Damon and Beneffleck might have heard of them. I'm

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Speaker 4: loving seeing them on the press sir as a bring

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Speaker 4: back memories. It doesn't also like individually they both can

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Speaker 4: be a little gen X problematic e but together they're unstoppable.

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Speaker 2: No, Matt Damon has a free pass for me. They're

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Speaker 2: so clever and they're so wise, and they're so good

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Speaker 2: at what they do. They're true artists. They've made some

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Speaker 2: great stuff.

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Speaker 3: I think that every time Ben marries j Lo, he's

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Speaker 3: just gone through a period where him and Matt didn't

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Speaker 3: talk very much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know Matt's just like Ben. Yeah, and

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Speaker 4: then a picture like consoling j Loo at the back

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Speaker 4: of like some truck.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Matt is very very good for Ben. And I

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Speaker 2: feel like Matt's wife is a bit every time Ben's

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Speaker 2: name comes up, she's like, here we go again, Here

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Speaker 2: we go.

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Speaker 1: Again anyway. Sorry, when we digressed pretty hard there on,

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Speaker 1: Mat and Ben did we we did? We did.

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Speaker 4: But they've released because I feel like they love doing

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Speaker 4: stuff together.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we know.

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Speaker 4: They released a new movie called The Rip. It is

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Speaker 4: currently on Netflix, and they've been doing a bit of

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Speaker 4: a press tour. They recently went on Joe Rogan's podcast

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Speaker 4: and they were talking about.

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Speaker 3: See what I mean about slightly gen X problematic?

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Speaker 1: He sometimes did they both go on or was it

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Speaker 1: just Matt?

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Speaker 4: It was just Matt, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, no,

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Speaker 4: it was Ben, both of them, both of them.

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Speaker 2: Really okay, yes, yes, yes, I would like to listen

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Speaker 2: to that.

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Speaker 1: If you've got to spare four hours anyway. Anyway, so they.

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Speaker 4: Were talking regardless of let's pretend Joe Rogans okay, okay,

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Speaker 4: it's just the two of them.

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Speaker 1: He's there like us.

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Speaker 4: Matt was talking about how releasing a movie on streaming

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Speaker 4: services like Netflix is very different to releasing movies and

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Speaker 4: cinemas now, and it's all about attention. He was saying

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Speaker 4: that there are some behind the scenes conversations that happen

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Speaker 4: with streaming services where they asked to do a big

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Speaker 4: act in the beginning of a movie. To capture people's

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Speaker 4: attention straight away, where usually they'll.

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Speaker 1: Do it a bit later in the movie.

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Speaker 4: And they've also been asked to include in the dialogue

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Speaker 4: talk about the plot points within the dialogue three to

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Speaker 4: four times throughout the whole movie to account for people

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Speaker 4: who look at their phones while watching.

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Speaker 1: So like a little recap.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so reality TV has always done this right, Like

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Speaker 3: the thing that means I cannot watch it is I'll

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Speaker 3: be watching the Kardashians or whatever, and it'll be like

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Speaker 3: this happens, and then it'll be after the break, this

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Speaker 3: is gonna happen, and then it come back after the breaking,

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Speaker 3: it's like this happened, and that's going to happen.

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Speaker 2: But like they're constant and then it gives you a flashback.

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Speaker 2: It references anything. There is no assumed knowledge at any

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Speaker 2: point in time, and.

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Speaker 3: It's constant orienting the audience all the time. And now

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Speaker 3: drama does it too, exactly.

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Speaker 4: So what I'm assuming happens is like I haven't watched

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Speaker 4: the rip, don't know anything about it, but I'm assuming

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Speaker 4: it's like Matt and Ben, and Ben's like, Matt, we

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Speaker 4: have to go save my family. And then like there's

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Speaker 4: twenty minutes, and then Matt's like, don't forget Ben, we

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Speaker 4: have to save your family. And then that happens another

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Speaker 4: three or four times.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, and then Ben is crying subtly. But then Matt

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Speaker 2: has to be like, Ben, are you crying? Like he

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Speaker 2: has to sign post that and just let everyone on

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Speaker 2: the phone.

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Speaker 4: If he's crying, And then we're like, wait, he's crying.

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Speaker 1: He's crying. That's interesting.

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Speaker 3: It's like that plot narrative about Chekhov's gone. If there's

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Speaker 3: a gun in a show, you know that at some

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Speaker 3: point the gun's going to be used, and so you're like,

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Speaker 3: you've got a clue in your head off, but remember

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Speaker 3: there's that gun. But in this version of that, every

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Speaker 3: five minutes someone has to say, but.

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Speaker 1: Remember the gun.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's because of second screens.

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Speaker 1: Right exactly.

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Speaker 4: And to that, I say, make movies more interesting.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, I find this thing about so it used

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Speaker 2: to be the drama had to happen about fifteen minutes

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Speaker 2: in right, or we know that. In novels, the rule

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Speaker 2: is they call it the sort of the end of

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Speaker 2: the beginning, the end of the first third. They go,

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Speaker 2: make the drama happen. Has been the conventional thinking. But

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Speaker 2: our attention spans are so shot, and there are so

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Speaker 2: many other books you can pick up, so many TV

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Speaker 2: shows you could watch. There's a TikTok that will give

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Speaker 2: you some entertainment in twelve seconds. That now, a lot

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Speaker 2: of the advice is, and a lot of the notes

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Speaker 2: that people get is it needs to be immediate. That

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Speaker 2: first scene needs to get you. So you think about

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Speaker 2: like your dead bodies at the beginning, Yes, what that

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Speaker 2: costs you? So the example, I remember doing a course

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Speaker 2: about it and the Exorcist, great great movie. There's a

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Speaker 2: device called various similitude, which is where you establish who

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Speaker 2: the characters are and the ordinariness of their lives, and

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Speaker 2: it makes everyone feel like that can't be me. That

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Speaker 2: could be Oh, yes, we're just going to school, We're

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Speaker 2: just hanging out with mum, having some dinner, and then boom,

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Speaker 2: you put the drama in and suddenly she's possessed by

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Speaker 2: the devil and you're way more invested. But how many

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Speaker 2: times do we all sit down now and go, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to give this five minutes, and if I'm not in,

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Speaker 2: then I'm going to go and watch something else on

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Speaker 2: my list.

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Speaker 3: Look, it's sad that you've just brought up books about that,

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Speaker 3: because when I was at a writing thing recently, they're saying,

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Speaker 3: how that's why, and I've done this. I've done this

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Speaker 3: in at least one book, maybe two. That's why prologues

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Speaker 3: are so big now, right. The lazy explanation for what

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Speaker 3: a prologue is is take the most interesting, action packed

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Speaker 3: bit of the book, put it at the beginning, then

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Speaker 3: go back to the beginning. If you know that that happens,

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Speaker 3: you'll see it everywhere. And now TV is similar. We're

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Speaker 3: going to talk about heated rivalry in a minute, but

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Speaker 3: on the rest of his entertainment, Marina Hyde was saying,

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Speaker 3: one of the reasons that show works so well for

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Speaker 3: like a second screening audience and every kind of audience

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Speaker 3: is that from the first shot, the first second of

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Speaker 3: the first scene, you know exactly what it's about. There's

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Speaker 3: no like, here's this guy going about his life like

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Speaker 3: you say, Jesse, and here's this guy going about his

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Speaker 3: life and maybe at some point they're going to bump

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Speaker 3: into each other and chemistry, it's like, no. From the

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Speaker 3: first shot is the two of them looking at each other,

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Speaker 3: and it's.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, it's on.

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Speaker 2: And interestingly, when they stay second screen, the second screen

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Speaker 2: isn't your phone. Your phone is a first screen. So

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Speaker 2: your phone is the first screen that you're looking at,

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Speaker 2: that you're scrolling that you're apparently sixty to ninety percent

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Speaker 2: of viewers they know are doing it. In which case

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Speaker 2: that Netflix show that maybe wants to be prestige or

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Speaker 2: wants to present some compelling, nuanced ideas, that needs to

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Speaker 2: accept its position as a second screen or not.

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Speaker 3: I think this is a tale of two different kinds

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Speaker 3: of stories, right, because the flip side of this is

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Speaker 3: a show like Stranger Things, which has obsessed the world

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Speaker 3: for the summer before the hockey players came away. Actually

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Speaker 3: with their bugs is the opposite, Right. It's got so

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Speaker 3: much plot, and it's complicated plot, and it's weird plot,

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Speaker 3: and there's law, and there's fifteen different levels, and it

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Speaker 3: allows the audience to get fully invested and become obsessed

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Speaker 3: with theories and share their fan theories forever.

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Speaker 1: There are lots of shows like that, right.

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Speaker 4: Ben gave the example of adolescents on Netflix as well.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't do that.

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Speaker 3: Yes, well that's very different too, and that's a different

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Speaker 3: kind of prestige. It's kind of like TV's either one

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Speaker 3: of two things. It's either very simplistic, tell me the

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Speaker 3: plot five times, or it's this is a mystery for

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Speaker 3: you to solve and have twenty five theory with your

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Speaker 3: friends about and make millions of tiktoks about and this

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Speaker 3: thing and that thing and maybe that happened. And it's

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Speaker 3: kind of like, choose your adventure of those two things.

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Speaker 2: Does that make us lazier? Though? Although I must say

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Speaker 2: when I was watching Severance, I definitely had phone down.

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Speaker 3: I don't second screen if it's something I've chosen to watch.

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Speaker 2: I really try not to and I need to have

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Speaker 2: my phone in another room like I can't have it in.

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Speaker 4: But does that like your problem or is it the

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Speaker 4: people who are making the movies problem? Because I say

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Speaker 4: I shouldn't feel like I need to touch my phone,

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Speaker 4: Like when I watched Sinners, for example, I forgot my

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Speaker 4: phone even existed.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think the show can be so brilliant, but if

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Speaker 2: we have access to a phone, if we can touch it,

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Speaker 2: whether it's notification, whatever, we also don't have any tolerance

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Speaker 2: for not understanding something. So if it's a reference to

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Speaker 2: or we go where's the active from? And then someone

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Speaker 2: goes looks it up or whatever. Then you're lost.

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Speaker 3: It's the accessory to the show. You're like, I've got

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Speaker 3: to google that.

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Speaker 1: What big is?

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Speaker 3: Where is Greenland so interesting? So we're staying on TV

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Speaker 3: for a minute. It took me a moment to get

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Speaker 3: onto Heated Rivalry, And as Jesse says, if you're not

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Speaker 3: on the bandwagon, if you're sick of hearing about it,

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Speaker 3: don't worry because that's not really what.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about. And if you are obsessed.

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Speaker 3: Emma and I did a subs episode last week Yes

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Speaker 3: with Mia where they in particular explained a lot of

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Speaker 3: the behind the scenes stuff to me and all that stuff,

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Speaker 3: that's not really what we're talking about. This is about

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Speaker 3: something a bit broader. In that subset, em brought something

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Speaker 3: up to me that now I'm seeing everywhere. You're very

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Speaker 3: very it's just very clever our Urnham. It's not just

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Speaker 3: about Heated Rivalry. But just to give you an idea

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Speaker 3: of the scale of the phenomen of that show, it

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Speaker 3: was made pretty independent show, lots of If you watch

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Speaker 3: the credits at the end, there's like a million different

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Speaker 3: Canadian film companies involved. They didn't know it was going

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Speaker 3: to be so huge. It's a very low budget, and

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Speaker 3: they should have known it was going to be so

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Speaker 3: huge because it's based on a very successful book series,

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Speaker 3: and that book series is part of a whole genre

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Speaker 3: of queer tilting romance that is very squarely marketed at

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Speaker 3: and consumed by straight women, young women. Book Talks got

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Speaker 3: a lot to do with this, but also older women.

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Speaker 3: We talked on the show about romance genres of last

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Speaker 3: year and how that's a genre of publishing that's still

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Speaker 3: going crazy. And this is a very established, like male

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Speaker 3: to male, queer stories being consumed by straight women are

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Speaker 3: a very big and well known phenomena. Apparently about eighty

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Speaker 3: percent of the people who buy those books are women,

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Speaker 3: and of that eighty sixty percent of them identify as straight,

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Speaker 3: with the others identifying as like queerbye gay. But there's

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Speaker 3: a very clear marketing push towards straight women on these books.

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Speaker 3: So one of the things that's really interesting.

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Speaker 1: About this is that why is that? And there's a good.

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Speaker 3: Theory which m brought up, which is that watching two men,

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Speaker 3: if you're a straight woman, watching two men fall in

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Speaker 3: love have a messy relationship, have some sex, break up,

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Speaker 3: get back together, whatever is freeing because you have a

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Speaker 3: holiday from putting yourself in the story.

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Speaker 4: That's what you said, right, Yeah, I feel like when

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Speaker 4: we watch like romance movies or TV shows and it's

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Speaker 4: a man and a woman, you automatically insert yourself in

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Speaker 4: the women's shoes and you firstly nitpick her. You're like, oh,

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Speaker 4: she's such a pick me. She wouldn't do this, Why

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Speaker 4: is she doing this? Why is she wearing Why is

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Speaker 4: she wearing that? When you put yourself in her shoes

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Speaker 4: in another way by going oh, she shouldn't accept that.

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Speaker 4: For him, why is she doing that? Why is she

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Speaker 4: sending him nudes? What's going on? And then when I

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Speaker 4: watched Heated Rivalry, I didn't feel any of that because

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Speaker 4: my self couldn't be in that physically, So I was

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Speaker 4: just sitting back and going, this is just such a

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Speaker 4: nice show.

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Speaker 3: A name for it, yeah, Oh, it's called Escaping the

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Speaker 3: heroin Bird.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 3: So there's a whole established theory about this, because, as

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Speaker 3: you say, is that a certain amount of baggage comes

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Speaker 3: with watching a straight relationship, especially now when dating is

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Speaker 3: really complicated and the politics of dating is very front

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Speaker 3: and center. A classic example of this might be, for example,

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Speaker 3: if you have been watching Heated Rivalry. In the second episode,

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Speaker 3: the hot Russian basically treats the other guy in a

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Speaker 3: way that if that was a woman, we would not

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Speaker 3: accept it. He ghosts him, he nags him, you know, he's

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Speaker 3: kind of dismissive and rude to him.

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Speaker 4: He has sex with him and not even kiss him.

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Speaker 3: And tells him to get out straight afterwards, and those things.

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Speaker 3: If that was a male female romance on mainstream TV,

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Speaker 3: we would be like, the culture would be like, get out, girl,

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Speaker 3: you deserve better than that. And I don't know that

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Speaker 3: now we would accept that as an obstacle to true

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Speaker 3: love in a way that is presented here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that the dynamics are different, not that

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Speaker 2: that's not problematic or not that power doesn't exist in

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Speaker 2: queer love stories, because it does, but the traditional gender

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Speaker 2: dynamics that we project don't exist so much. And whether

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Speaker 2: it's movies or television or books, when there's a heterosexual

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Speaker 2: a man a woman who are having sex, there's generally

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Speaker 2: speaking a subject and an object, and the woman is

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Speaker 2: nearly always the object. Even the way that she's filmed.

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Speaker 3: There is this Do you think that's still true with

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Speaker 3: all the female gayzy sex stuff we watch these days

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Speaker 3: that you're Bridgeton's.

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Speaker 2: And I think it's so firmly entrenched that ninety five

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Speaker 2: percent of the time that's what it is. And then

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Speaker 2: I also think it's so socialized that women do it automatically.

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Speaker 2: So there's this phenomenon that's been written lots about where

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Speaker 2: women in real life who are having sex almost watch

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Speaker 2: themselves from above, and they watch what they look like

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Speaker 2: and how they sound, and that's how they've internalized how

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Speaker 2: sex should be. That it's something that's acted upon them

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Speaker 2: by a man. He is the subject. It's all about

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Speaker 2: his pleasure, and she is the object in it, like performing, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: exactly performing. And this is why I remember writing something

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Speaker 2: years ago about all this data came out of Pornhub

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Speaker 2: or something about man on men sex and lesbian porn,

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Speaker 2: like and how it was consumed overwhelmingly by straight women.

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Speaker 2: Why do so many straight women watch gay porn and

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Speaker 2: lesbian porn? So why is it that they're not watching

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Speaker 2: porn that would reflect their lived experience. They're actually trying

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Speaker 2: to seek out something that's different to what they and

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Speaker 2: part of it might be that it's a fantasy, or

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Speaker 2: part of it might be by curiosity or whatever it is.

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Speaker 2: But a lot of the studies actually found firstly, they

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Speaker 2: don't and I think that we've we've probably all seen

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Speaker 2: this in television or whatever where you go all that

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Speaker 2: looks like it hurts. I've had an experience like that

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Speaker 2: and it's making me feel really uncomfortable or whatever. This

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Speaker 2: is just more simply about pleasure in a way that

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Speaker 2: women find very liberating. I think.

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Speaker 1: I think that's true.

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Speaker 3: But I also think it's beyond the sex, like I

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Speaker 3: think in Heated Rivalry, even though it's very famous for

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Speaker 3: its sex scenes, I think it's also about the relationship dynamics.

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Speaker 3: And you're right, Jesse, in what you just pointed out,

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Speaker 3: there's definitely something difficult here about the idea that in

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Speaker 3: some ways, and there's lots of commentary out there about this,

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Speaker 3: that in some ways this kind of objectifies or patronizes

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Speaker 3: gay relationships, simplifies them them and also that straight women

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Speaker 3: or straight seeming women who are actually writing these books

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Speaker 3: and everything, like hmm, just a little bit of you know,

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Speaker 3: controversy there about them hovering up all those dollars. But

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Speaker 3: also I think that it's beyond the sex. I think

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Speaker 3: it's about the romance. Like we know how complicated dating

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Speaker 3: is and the politics of dating are now, and we

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Speaker 3: always over always over relate to female protagonists. I mean

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Speaker 3: as a writer, I know this. One of my books

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Speaker 3: in particular, like the female protagonists got so much shit

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Speaker 3: from other women through me, like say, but she does this,

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Speaker 3: and she does that, and she shouldn't have done that,

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Speaker 3: and she cheated and she shouldn't have cheated, and that.

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Speaker 3: We just don't put on male protagonists, or we do

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Speaker 3: it differently. And it's funny because as you get older,

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Speaker 3: like I don't relate to when I see young hot

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Speaker 3: people having sex, I don't or falling in love, I'm

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Speaker 3: not really relating because now that's like apples and oranges

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Speaker 3: in a way. But I think that it's very hard

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Speaker 3: not to when you're in that world.

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Speaker 4: But also when we're looking at romance novels and movies

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Speaker 4: about men and women, and I think the author and

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Speaker 4: the film creator automatically want you to relate to the

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Speaker 4: woman because that's who they're marketing towards.

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Speaker 1: And then they're trying to.

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Speaker 4: Make the guy in it to be the most appealing

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Speaker 4: guy ever. Like when we talk about Emily Henry and

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Speaker 4: her books, like she uses the most best man that

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Speaker 4: you could ever dream of, because like you want that

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Speaker 4: character to get with him, and.

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Speaker 3: Think about the discourse around Nobody wants this a massive

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Speaker 3: smash exactly where everybody's like, great, non toxic relationship, wonderful boyfriend,

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Speaker 3: he does all the things right, he calls her, he

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Speaker 3: does all the things, and that's all great, but it's

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Speaker 3: not obstacles in a sexy romance.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and because there's still two of them and they're

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Speaker 4: both the main characters, the woman is always a bit

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Speaker 4: more of the main character. Wasn't heated rivalry. You're still

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Speaker 4: appealing to women, but you have two men, so you're

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Speaker 4: allowing them to both be main characters in their own right.

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Speaker 4: So you're able to follow both of their storylines as

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Speaker 4: independent people while they're also together.

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Speaker 2: And it's not overlaid with complicated feminist politics, the idea

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Speaker 2: that we're so sensitive to a woman who's desperate to

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Speaker 2: find love or like acts in a way that's like

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Speaker 2: damsel in distress. There are all these tropes that have

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Speaker 2: been overused in cliches and there's just something so fresh

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Speaker 2: about having this on screen where you can put all

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Speaker 2: of that aside and just take your hat off.

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Speaker 1: He can leave it at the door.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because in this story Ilia the Russian hockey player,

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Speaker 3: he is a textbook bad boy really, like he's unavailable, serious,

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Speaker 3: he's all the things that a textbook bad boy hero

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Speaker 3: would be in a traditional romance. But somehow that has

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Speaker 3: very much fallen out of favor. God knows what people

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Speaker 3: are going to think about Wuthering Heights with that, with

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Speaker 3: that in mine, but that has very much fallen out

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Speaker 3: of favor now, and this kind of just allows you

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Speaker 3: to go.

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Speaker 1: Ah.

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Speaker 3: One of the reasons I think that women over relate

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Speaker 3: so much to characters and get so upset with them,

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Speaker 3: Like can't just let them live?

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Just can't let your character just do whatever is because

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Speaker 3: we're never allowed to you know what I mean, Like,

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00:19:09,594 --> 00:19:12,313
Speaker 3: we're not allowed to just live and do whatever without judgment.

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00:19:12,354 --> 00:19:14,833
Speaker 3: We've been brought up since day dot with that, So

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Speaker 3: we're like, well, why should she be able to just

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00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:17,594
Speaker 3: behave that way?

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Speaker 1: You know, we're trying.

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00:19:19,194 --> 00:19:21,994
Speaker 3: Know that might not be a conscious thought, but it's

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00:19:22,034 --> 00:19:24,594
Speaker 3: a subconscious thought that We're like, well, we can't just

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Speaker 3: let her live like, That's not how it works.

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Speaker 1: You're a woman in the world.

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Speaker 2: Out Louders in a moment, are you venting too much?

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Speaker 5: Hey, out louders, it's Mia remember me. I hope you do.

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Speaker 5: It's been so fun for those of you who are

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Speaker 5: already subscribers being back in your ears twice a week

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Speaker 5: on our subscriber episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This week,

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Speaker 5: on Tuesday, I did an emergency meeting with Holly and

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Speaker 5: Jesse to unpack the latest becon Family Drama.

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Speaker 1: It was epic.

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Speaker 5: And then yesterday in Thursday's episode, I learned what Jesse

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Speaker 5: and Holly did over summer and what I did over summer.

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Speaker 5: Told them we had very very different summers. Have a listen,

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Speaker 5: There's a link in the show notes, and thank you

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00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:13,634
Speaker 5: for subscribing.

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Speaker 3: If you already do out loud as. We have got

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Speaker 3: a listener dilemma and we need your collective wisdom to

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Speaker 3: help us and our partners UI solve it. So here

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Speaker 3: it is friends you ready. Yeah, My husband and I

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Speaker 3: have decided to move to the Gold Coast, Lovely in

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Speaker 3: the middle of the year with our two daughters aged

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Speaker 3: three and five. We currently live in Sydney and both

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00:20:32,994 --> 00:20:36,513
Speaker 3: work full time and we're finding it a lot to

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Speaker 3: make ends meet, so the decision is part financial.

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Speaker 1: Part lifestyle.

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Speaker 3: We're really excited about our decision and looking forward to

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Speaker 3: sharing the news with our family. But my husband works

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00:20:46,394 --> 00:20:49,914
Speaker 3: for his family business and while it's been an amazing opportunity,

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00:20:49,954 --> 00:20:51,914
Speaker 3: it's time for him to his own thing.

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Speaker 1: Is your husband, Brooklyn Beckham.

437
00:20:55,274 --> 00:20:58,034
Speaker 3: We know his parents are not going to be happy

438
00:20:58,114 --> 00:21:01,274
Speaker 3: and will pressure us to stay. They'll make us feel

439
00:21:01,314 --> 00:21:04,234
Speaker 3: guilty about leaving the business and also about not being

440
00:21:04,314 --> 00:21:06,874
Speaker 3: able to see their grandkids as often. We know it's

441
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:09,154
Speaker 3: from place of love, but we just don't want the

442
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:11,714
Speaker 3: joy to be taken out of our decision. How do

443
00:21:11,754 --> 00:21:14,033
Speaker 3: we tackle this? My husband is saying we should have

444
00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:17,434
Speaker 3: the conversation together. However, I don't work for the family business,

445
00:21:17,514 --> 00:21:19,874
Speaker 3: so I think it's better if he has the conversation

446
00:21:19,994 --> 00:21:20,994
Speaker 3: with his family first.

447
00:21:21,474 --> 00:21:21,994
Speaker 1: Smart move.

448
00:21:22,354 --> 00:21:24,834
Speaker 3: It's a really hard one, but we just want them

449
00:21:24,874 --> 00:21:27,874
Speaker 3: to be happy for us. My question is what do

450
00:21:27,994 --> 00:21:29,354
Speaker 3: you do next?

451
00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:32,313
Speaker 2: Oh, I've got an answer to this. There are parts

452
00:21:32,314 --> 00:21:37,114
Speaker 2: of this question that I think reveal that you are

453
00:21:37,194 --> 00:21:39,874
Speaker 2: trying to control how his parents are going to feel

454
00:21:39,874 --> 00:21:42,553
Speaker 2: about it. And I got the best advice once. I

455
00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:44,034
Speaker 2: was like, but if I say that, they're going to

456
00:21:44,074 --> 00:21:47,594
Speaker 2: get upset, and someone said to me, what you're doing

457
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:50,634
Speaker 2: is manipulative, which is you're trying to control their response,

458
00:21:50,794 --> 00:21:53,994
Speaker 2: which is none of your business and not your responsibility.

459
00:21:54,114 --> 00:21:57,714
Speaker 2: Let them let them. I probably think it's a big thing.

460
00:21:57,794 --> 00:22:00,114
Speaker 2: It's a family decision. If your husband would love you

461
00:22:00,154 --> 00:22:02,674
Speaker 2: sitting next to him when he tells them, that's probably

462
00:22:02,674 --> 00:22:03,034
Speaker 2: a mine.

463
00:22:03,034 --> 00:22:04,114
Speaker 4: But it's a business.

464
00:22:04,434 --> 00:22:04,994
Speaker 2: It's a business.

465
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:09,874
Speaker 4: But mom and me, and I bring my mum in guys,

466
00:22:10,394 --> 00:22:11,514
Speaker 4: me and my mom would like.

467
00:22:11,474 --> 00:22:12,033
Speaker 1: To let you know.

468
00:22:13,554 --> 00:22:13,954
Speaker 3: I don't know.

469
00:22:13,994 --> 00:22:16,314
Speaker 2: I reckon that if you're telling your in laws, we're

470
00:22:16,354 --> 00:22:19,074
Speaker 2: moving into state, and that's a big thing, and there's

471
00:22:19,074 --> 00:22:21,674
Speaker 2: going to be grief, and there's going to be the business,

472
00:22:21,754 --> 00:22:24,034
Speaker 2: I feel is also a distraction. I reckon that it's

473
00:22:24,074 --> 00:22:26,154
Speaker 2: bigger than that. But you need to work out exactly

474
00:22:26,194 --> 00:22:27,834
Speaker 2: what you're going to say, and then you've got to

475
00:22:28,034 --> 00:22:30,474
Speaker 2: accept their response because they're allowed to be really upset,

476
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,434
Speaker 2: they're allowed to be mad, they're allowed to yell, they're

477
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:33,514
Speaker 2: allowed to do whatever they want.

478
00:22:33,634 --> 00:22:35,674
Speaker 1: But it's kind of none of your business.

479
00:22:35,674 --> 00:22:38,674
Speaker 3: And also you are allowed to move to the Gold Coast. Yeah,

480
00:22:38,754 --> 00:22:42,194
Speaker 3: so that's our advice. I say go go go out

481
00:22:42,234 --> 00:22:44,793
Speaker 3: loud as what would you do next? Share your thoughts

482
00:22:44,794 --> 00:22:46,594
Speaker 3: in the mama Mia out loud Facebook group.

483
00:22:46,834 --> 00:22:47,874
Speaker 1: Also, if you have a.

484
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:50,354
Speaker 3: Dilemma, send it to us at out loud at mamamea

485
00:22:50,434 --> 00:22:51,513
Speaker 3: dot com dot au.

486
00:22:51,834 --> 00:22:53,314
Speaker 1: We would love to help you out.

487
00:22:54,394 --> 00:22:58,994
Speaker 2: I think I've probably reached my friends venting threshold for

488
00:22:59,314 --> 00:23:02,354
Speaker 2: this year, and it's barely past mid January.

489
00:23:02,394 --> 00:23:03,834
Speaker 1: I feel like you get a past event.

490
00:23:04,834 --> 00:23:12,194
Speaker 3: She's pregnant with twins, she's gotlations.

491
00:23:09,514 --> 00:23:12,594
Speaker 2: There's a lot going on. But I'm interested in your

492
00:23:12,634 --> 00:23:16,554
Speaker 2: opinion because this article made me a bit worried about

493
00:23:16,554 --> 00:23:20,234
Speaker 2: my venting. Earlier this month, I came across a story

494
00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:23,474
Speaker 2: in the Atlantic that asked if venting, which was once

495
00:23:23,634 --> 00:23:27,834
Speaker 2: treated as a basic expression of closeness, has it been

496
00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:32,234
Speaker 2: rebranded as risky and even impolite? Is it now something

497
00:23:32,234 --> 00:23:35,634
Speaker 2: that we see as like quite rude to sit there

498
00:23:35,674 --> 00:23:38,514
Speaker 2: at a dinner table and take up space just winging.

499
00:23:39,714 --> 00:23:43,513
Speaker 2: Julie Beck cites research that has shown that venting doesn't

500
00:23:43,554 --> 00:23:48,274
Speaker 2: actually reduce anger, it fuels it and to be transparent

501
00:23:48,314 --> 00:23:54,594
Speaker 2: about what venting. It's giving free expression to strong emotions,

502
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:59,033
Speaker 2: particularly anger or frustration. So Mel Robbins, who we referred

503
00:23:59,034 --> 00:24:02,154
Speaker 2: to just before, she says venting as a trap, hence

504
00:24:02,194 --> 00:24:06,914
Speaker 2: why you should just let them, whereas some experts, like

505
00:24:06,954 --> 00:24:09,593
Speaker 2: a social psychologists they speak to in this story says

506
00:24:10,314 --> 00:24:15,034
Speaker 2: venting helps people feel connected, validated, and ultimately more energized

507
00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:16,634
Speaker 2: to deal with the problem at hand.

508
00:24:16,754 --> 00:24:20,874
Speaker 3: So say I'm venting to my friends about work or whatever,

509
00:24:20,914 --> 00:24:24,073
Speaker 3: and I'm like really upset about something that seems quite small,

510
00:24:24,514 --> 00:24:28,194
Speaker 3: and they encourage my venting that I'm encouraged to stay

511
00:24:28,194 --> 00:24:30,154
Speaker 3: in that angry space. Is that what like the male

512
00:24:30,234 --> 00:24:32,194
Speaker 3: robbins Is of the world are worried about rather that.

513
00:24:32,354 --> 00:24:34,474
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, it just gets more and more heated.

514
00:24:34,634 --> 00:24:34,874
Speaker 3: Yeah.

515
00:24:34,914 --> 00:24:38,114
Speaker 2: So on the one hand, you've got people saying you're

516
00:24:38,114 --> 00:24:40,634
Speaker 2: bringing a negative energy, and in fact there's something it's

517
00:24:40,714 --> 00:24:42,674
Speaker 2: like almost co venting, where you kind of bring that

518
00:24:42,714 --> 00:24:44,874
Speaker 2: out in other people and it becomes this negative thing they.

519
00:24:44,794 --> 00:24:47,954
Speaker 4: Go yeah yeah, and break up with your boyfriend.

520
00:24:47,674 --> 00:24:51,074
Speaker 2: Hey yeah yeah. And then on the other hand, you've

521
00:24:51,074 --> 00:24:53,114
Speaker 2: got this has all come from kind of a Sigmund

522
00:24:53,234 --> 00:24:56,434
Speaker 2: Freud background. Of get it.

523
00:24:56,474 --> 00:24:58,314
Speaker 1: Off your chest. We've all had ma get off your chest.

524
00:24:58,354 --> 00:25:01,234
Speaker 2: There's catharsis in just saying it better out and then

525
00:25:01,394 --> 00:25:04,314
Speaker 2: better out than it, all of those things. It's releasing

526
00:25:04,354 --> 00:25:06,874
Speaker 2: an internal pressure cooker where we hear that this is

527
00:25:06,914 --> 00:25:09,754
Speaker 2: meant to be good for us. So the question is

528
00:25:10,074 --> 00:25:12,914
Speaker 2: should friendship be a haven from mess or a safe

529
00:25:12,914 --> 00:25:17,474
Speaker 2: space for it? Should friends support or avoid burdening one another?

530
00:25:18,034 --> 00:25:19,914
Speaker 2: And what actually do your friends owe you?

531
00:25:20,314 --> 00:25:26,114
Speaker 4: Am I love venting. I love venting so much. If

532
00:25:26,154 --> 00:25:28,834
Speaker 4: I have a dinner with friends, I'm like so excited.

533
00:25:28,914 --> 00:25:31,474
Speaker 4: Sometimes I write dot points all the things I want

534
00:25:31,474 --> 00:25:33,274
Speaker 4: to hit because I don't want to miss out. Because

535
00:25:33,274 --> 00:25:36,314
Speaker 4: there's also certain friendships like you can vent for certain

536
00:25:36,354 --> 00:25:39,033
Speaker 4: things about Like if I want to vent about my

537
00:25:39,074 --> 00:25:41,513
Speaker 4: friend's boyfriend, I can't vent about it to her. I

538
00:25:41,554 --> 00:25:43,594
Speaker 4: have to vent about it to some other people. If

539
00:25:43,634 --> 00:25:46,194
Speaker 4: I'm being strategic about work, I can't vent to you guys,

540
00:25:46,234 --> 00:25:48,434
Speaker 4: I have to vent to my other friends. I think

541
00:25:48,474 --> 00:25:51,714
Speaker 4: it's such a nice outlet. And also too many rules

542
00:25:51,714 --> 00:25:54,634
Speaker 4: on friendships. I'm getting really really confused now because now

543
00:25:54,674 --> 00:25:56,554
Speaker 4: I can't talk about my dating life because I don't

544
00:25:56,594 --> 00:25:59,714
Speaker 4: pass the Bechdel test. That's true, and then I can't

545
00:25:59,754 --> 00:26:02,354
Speaker 4: talk about work because I'm centering my work too much.

546
00:26:02,594 --> 00:26:04,154
Speaker 4: And now I'm scared that we're all just going to

547
00:26:04,274 --> 00:26:07,754
Speaker 4: end up having friendships like men.

548
00:26:08,634 --> 00:26:10,474
Speaker 2: So true, that's the saddest story.

549
00:26:11,914 --> 00:26:16,434
Speaker 3: And that's true because if you're never allowed to say

550
00:26:16,434 --> 00:26:20,073
Speaker 3: anything real, even if you know you're being silly, you know,

551
00:26:20,874 --> 00:26:22,234
Speaker 3: then what do you talk about?

552
00:26:22,554 --> 00:26:23,034
Speaker 1: Exactly?

553
00:26:23,154 --> 00:26:24,874
Speaker 3: Like I can only I mean, actually I would talk

554
00:26:24,874 --> 00:26:30,354
Speaker 3: about Brooklyn, assuming that not everybody wants to the only.

555
00:26:30,194 --> 00:26:32,273
Speaker 2: Reason we can talk about Brooklyn Beckham it's because the

556
00:26:32,274 --> 00:26:33,434
Speaker 2: man had the guts to vents.

557
00:26:33,434 --> 00:26:35,354
Speaker 1: Oh my god, invented? Did he have a vent?

558
00:26:35,714 --> 00:26:37,714
Speaker 3: The thing is, I think, what are we going to

559
00:26:37,754 --> 00:26:39,474
Speaker 3: talk about? And you're right, we would go where the

560
00:26:39,514 --> 00:26:41,674
Speaker 3: men go, which is we talk about sport, we talk

561
00:26:41,714 --> 00:26:45,434
Speaker 3: about and I hate, like, let's talk about real estate

562
00:26:45,634 --> 00:26:50,313
Speaker 3: schools and I want to talk about real things and

563
00:26:50,354 --> 00:26:54,154
Speaker 3: that often involve some inventing. However, don't tell me that

564
00:26:54,234 --> 00:26:57,394
Speaker 3: you have never had a friend who over vents all

565
00:26:57,434 --> 00:26:57,834
Speaker 3: the time.

566
00:26:57,874 --> 00:27:00,594
Speaker 2: Come on, okay, so there are rules, and I agree

567
00:27:00,594 --> 00:27:02,594
Speaker 2: with you, Holly, I reckon, there's nothing worse. And asking

568
00:27:02,594 --> 00:27:06,434
Speaker 2: how someone's going and they're like, work's great, this is great,

569
00:27:06,474 --> 00:27:08,793
Speaker 2: this is great, and it's like, maybe it is, but

570
00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:10,994
Speaker 2: I don't really believe, like, yeah, I'm trying to find

571
00:27:10,994 --> 00:27:13,033
Speaker 2: a crack, Like that's where the interesting.

572
00:27:13,114 --> 00:27:15,834
Speaker 3: So you're trying to find a crack or a way in.

573
00:27:15,914 --> 00:27:19,794
Speaker 2: A way in a way in where there's some vulnerability.

574
00:27:20,634 --> 00:27:23,793
Speaker 2: I believe that that's where connection is found. But I

575
00:27:23,834 --> 00:27:26,754
Speaker 2: agree with you. So the rules of venting are we

576
00:27:26,834 --> 00:27:31,154
Speaker 2: need character development, we need new plot points. What I

577
00:27:31,194 --> 00:27:36,634
Speaker 2: don't like is rumination. So the circular venting. So I

578
00:27:36,634 --> 00:27:39,513
Speaker 2: had a friend the other night who kept apologizing for venting,

579
00:27:39,634 --> 00:27:41,674
Speaker 2: and we all went, no, no, no, we're actually quite

580
00:27:41,714 --> 00:27:46,394
Speaker 2: enjoying this. Your work venting is interesting to us. We're

581
00:27:46,394 --> 00:27:49,194
Speaker 2: not emotionally invested in the loss is a minor character

582
00:27:49,194 --> 00:27:52,954
Speaker 2: in my life exactly, And I'm enjoying all of this information. Right,

583
00:27:52,994 --> 00:27:55,634
Speaker 2: this is a great Netflix show. I'll watch episode two.

584
00:27:56,514 --> 00:28:00,554
Speaker 2: But what I don't want is to then have you know,

585
00:28:00,874 --> 00:28:06,793
Speaker 2: ten instances where it's exactly the same point and you

586
00:28:06,874 --> 00:28:11,033
Speaker 2: kind kind of go, oh, oh, we've had this conversation.

587
00:28:11,314 --> 00:28:14,033
Speaker 2: I'm fine for the complaining about work to continue, but

588
00:28:14,114 --> 00:28:20,313
Speaker 2: it's like you want some agency or some change otherwise,

589
00:28:20,434 --> 00:28:22,674
Speaker 2: I think it just feels repetitive.

590
00:28:22,114 --> 00:28:24,314
Speaker 1: And boring, right, yeah. Absolutely.

591
00:28:24,474 --> 00:28:28,394
Speaker 3: My other thing is is that I think because personally, like,

592
00:28:28,474 --> 00:28:30,354
Speaker 3: there are people in my life I vent to but

593
00:28:30,474 --> 00:28:33,754
Speaker 3: I'm quite tight about that, and I think they call

594
00:28:33,794 --> 00:28:36,754
Speaker 3: this repression. If there's things that are really upsetting me,

595
00:28:36,794 --> 00:28:39,314
Speaker 3: I don't want to talk about it person So they'll

596
00:28:39,354 --> 00:28:41,674
Speaker 3: be like, how's how are your parents doing whatever.

597
00:28:41,674 --> 00:28:42,914
Speaker 1: I'll be like, I don't want to talk about it,

598
00:28:42,954 --> 00:28:44,634
Speaker 1: and that's I don't. I really don't.

599
00:28:45,194 --> 00:28:49,594
Speaker 3: But I think that venting, if you have like a like,

600
00:28:49,754 --> 00:28:52,074
Speaker 3: you can almost put parameters around it, so you go,

601
00:28:52,474 --> 00:28:55,354
Speaker 3: I'm venting. I have to trust my circle to know

602
00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:58,114
Speaker 3: that everything I say in this vent isn't necessarily true.

603
00:28:58,514 --> 00:29:01,314
Speaker 2: It's actually not indicative of how I feel in one

604
00:29:01,354 --> 00:29:02,674
Speaker 2: hour exactly, and.

605
00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:05,474
Speaker 3: I may do not hold this vent against me next

606
00:29:05,514 --> 00:29:07,514
Speaker 3: week when I say that the you know that my

607
00:29:07,554 --> 00:29:09,594
Speaker 3: colleague Jesse is the loveliest person in the world, and

608
00:29:09,634 --> 00:29:11,354
Speaker 3: they go, but last week you said she was a bitch,

609
00:29:11,354 --> 00:29:14,874
Speaker 3: and I'll be like, I was, So I think he

610
00:29:14,994 --> 00:29:19,074
Speaker 3: needs some signals there, and I never do that. You

611
00:29:19,194 --> 00:29:22,594
Speaker 3: need some signals there where you're like, we're entering vent

612
00:29:22,674 --> 00:29:25,074
Speaker 3: valley will come out the other side. But while we're

613
00:29:25,074 --> 00:29:26,874
Speaker 3: in here safe space.

614
00:29:27,354 --> 00:29:30,634
Speaker 2: I had an incidence recently where I was at Christmas

615
00:29:30,714 --> 00:29:33,674
Speaker 2: drinks and you know, everyone's happy and blah blah blah.

616
00:29:33,714 --> 00:29:37,034
Speaker 2: And I got there and I started talking to a

617
00:29:37,074 --> 00:29:38,714
Speaker 2: friend who I really like, and she was like, how

618
00:29:38,754 --> 00:29:41,394
Speaker 2: are you going? And in that moment, I went, all right,

619
00:29:41,434 --> 00:29:45,234
Speaker 2: you got two choices. You either go I'm going really

620
00:29:45,234 --> 00:29:51,354
Speaker 2: well hanging or bless or tell her I'm actually in

621
00:29:51,394 --> 00:29:53,274
Speaker 2: a lot of paint, like I'm in a lot of pain.

622
00:29:53,474 --> 00:29:57,154
Speaker 2: I just walked up a hill anyway, and I just

623
00:29:57,234 --> 00:29:59,834
Speaker 2: went for the second option. I just thought, fuck it,

624
00:29:59,914 --> 00:30:01,794
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it. It's just her and I here,

625
00:30:02,474 --> 00:30:04,354
Speaker 2: I reckon. I'm a good enough reader to know if

626
00:30:04,394 --> 00:30:09,354
Speaker 2: she's finding this conversation boring. She then started telling me

627
00:30:09,514 --> 00:30:12,554
Speaker 2: about this chronic pain condition she had I had no

628
00:30:12,674 --> 00:30:16,794
Speaker 2: idea about, and it ended up in her venting like

629
00:30:16,914 --> 00:30:19,834
Speaker 2: her going, oh my goodness, I am like, I feel

630
00:30:19,874 --> 00:30:23,074
Speaker 2: as though my body's falling apart. I feel as though

631
00:30:23,074 --> 00:30:24,874
Speaker 2: I have no control blah blah blah. And it was

632
00:30:25,074 --> 00:30:29,354
Speaker 2: one of the most insightful, fruitful conversations I had over

633
00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:33,194
Speaker 2: the whole break where she helped me put words around

634
00:30:33,194 --> 00:30:35,434
Speaker 2: how I was feeling. I felt deeply connected to her.

635
00:30:35,474 --> 00:30:38,594
Speaker 2: She clearly felt like she couldn't sit and you just

636
00:30:38,634 --> 00:30:42,554
Speaker 2: don't know what's happening for other people, and opening that

637
00:30:42,714 --> 00:30:45,314
Speaker 2: crack up a little bit meant that we could be

638
00:30:45,354 --> 00:30:48,594
Speaker 2: honest and access this other level of intimacy and vulnerability

639
00:30:48,594 --> 00:30:50,634
Speaker 2: that I think would have been missing otherwise.

640
00:30:50,714 --> 00:30:53,274
Speaker 4: But do you also think by talking about like stuff

641
00:30:53,314 --> 00:30:55,594
Speaker 4: as deep as that, you're also opening the door for

642
00:30:55,674 --> 00:30:57,794
Speaker 4: them to also help.

643
00:30:57,594 --> 00:30:59,034
Speaker 1: You if yeah, so yeah?

644
00:30:59,074 --> 00:31:01,354
Speaker 4: Because I feel like when you have those kind of conversations,

645
00:31:01,434 --> 00:31:03,474
Speaker 4: then you go home and then they might send you

646
00:31:03,474 --> 00:31:05,274
Speaker 4: a link to a physio yeah, or something like that.

647
00:31:05,754 --> 00:31:08,794
Speaker 4: I think the venting that get frustrated by is if

648
00:31:08,834 --> 00:31:11,754
Speaker 4: it's like the same problem happening over and over again,

649
00:31:11,794 --> 00:31:14,514
Speaker 4: and that person's not doing anything to help them. And

650
00:31:14,594 --> 00:31:17,714
Speaker 4: I remember I had a friend who was venting about

651
00:31:17,874 --> 00:31:20,834
Speaker 4: work like so much like every time we hung out

652
00:31:20,994 --> 00:31:23,034
Speaker 4: so much. She wasn't doing anything. It was just like

653
00:31:23,074 --> 00:31:25,474
Speaker 4: an outlet that she needed. It got to the point

654
00:31:25,474 --> 00:31:27,714
Speaker 4: where I would dread seeing her like because I knew

655
00:31:27,754 --> 00:31:29,994
Speaker 4: it would be a drain. And then one day I

656
00:31:30,074 --> 00:31:32,514
Speaker 4: think I just sent her a link to a new job,

657
00:31:33,594 --> 00:31:36,154
Speaker 4: and then I think it made her realize, oh, I've

658
00:31:36,194 --> 00:31:38,114
Speaker 4: been talking about this. I think she didn't realize how

659
00:31:38,194 --> 00:31:40,194
Speaker 4: much this she was centering this in a life until

660
00:31:40,234 --> 00:31:42,754
Speaker 4: she saw her friend, and then she realized. And then

661
00:31:42,754 --> 00:31:45,074
Speaker 4: she got a new job. And it's so much better.

662
00:31:44,914 --> 00:31:47,314
Speaker 2: Because that's what you need from your friendships, right is

663
00:31:47,514 --> 00:31:50,034
Speaker 2: I reckon that when you're stuck in that cycle, your

664
00:31:50,074 --> 00:31:52,114
Speaker 2: frontal lobe or something actually shuts down and you're not

665
00:31:52,154 --> 00:31:53,554
Speaker 2: reasonable like I had.

666
00:31:53,434 --> 00:31:54,994
Speaker 4: And also because you feel like you're in a safe space,

667
00:31:54,994 --> 00:31:56,154
Speaker 4: which you should feel.

668
00:31:55,874 --> 00:31:58,394
Speaker 2: That, and a friend can say to you. I had

669
00:31:58,394 --> 00:32:01,794
Speaker 2: this over the break. I knew I was irrationally angry

670
00:32:01,874 --> 00:32:04,554
Speaker 2: about something, and I was venting to very specific people

671
00:32:04,674 --> 00:32:07,994
Speaker 2: about this thing that I was angry about. And those

672
00:32:08,154 --> 00:32:11,474
Speaker 2: three people had the exact same advice for me, Like

673
00:32:11,554 --> 00:32:13,674
Speaker 2: they told me exactly what they were like, I totally

674
00:32:13,754 --> 00:32:16,274
Speaker 2: understand how you feel. I think probably you don't say

675
00:32:16,274 --> 00:32:19,474
Speaker 2: anything because they they were using a part of their

676
00:32:19,474 --> 00:32:23,314
Speaker 2: brain that was actually useful in that situation. I took

677
00:32:23,354 --> 00:32:26,234
Speaker 2: their advice. They were right. I moved through it. But

678
00:32:26,354 --> 00:32:30,474
Speaker 2: those vents, I think made me feel like I didn't

679
00:32:30,474 --> 00:32:31,954
Speaker 2: have to go and then take it out on this

680
00:32:32,034 --> 00:32:35,354
Speaker 2: person who actually ultimately didn't deserve it.

681
00:32:36,394 --> 00:32:39,234
Speaker 4: There is a new way women are hanging out with

682
00:32:39,274 --> 00:32:42,834
Speaker 4: their friends spenting. It's not venting unfortunate.

683
00:32:43,274 --> 00:32:45,314
Speaker 1: Event nights, vent sill out.

684
00:32:45,394 --> 00:32:46,994
Speaker 4: They're called admin nights.

685
00:32:47,074 --> 00:32:55,034
Speaker 1: I'd rather die ANTI. That sounds terrible.

686
00:32:55,554 --> 00:32:58,074
Speaker 2: For someone who has to do their taxes once a year,

687
00:32:58,194 --> 00:33:00,914
Speaker 2: You're like, every weekend, it's just doing my taxi And

688
00:33:00,954 --> 00:33:02,594
Speaker 2: it's like, is it every weekend?

689
00:33:04,154 --> 00:33:06,874
Speaker 1: Most people to like you also don't run.

690
00:33:06,714 --> 00:33:10,754
Speaker 2: A small business like you're employed. Why are taxes taking

691
00:33:10,794 --> 00:33:11,594
Speaker 2: up your whole year?

692
00:33:12,234 --> 00:33:14,714
Speaker 1: Please tell us about these few kinds of nights.

693
00:33:15,234 --> 00:33:20,314
Speaker 4: I'm like, how do I relate to the women today?

694
00:33:20,834 --> 00:33:21,954
Speaker 2: Do do taxes?

695
00:33:24,994 --> 00:33:27,834
Speaker 3: Eihlighters running to tell us about tell us about these

696
00:33:27,994 --> 00:33:28,794
Speaker 3: new kinds of friends?

697
00:33:28,834 --> 00:33:31,794
Speaker 4: Okay, ad midnight. So all the stuff that you've been

698
00:33:31,794 --> 00:33:36,034
Speaker 4: putting off, like your taxes, I have a very long list.

699
00:33:36,754 --> 00:33:38,874
Speaker 4: What you do is is you get your friends together

700
00:33:38,914 --> 00:33:42,194
Speaker 4: at someone's house once a month. They bring their laptops,

701
00:33:42,234 --> 00:33:45,274
Speaker 4: they bring their notepads, they bring their emotional support water bottle,

702
00:33:45,554 --> 00:33:48,874
Speaker 4: and you just sit down together and you do those tasks.

703
00:33:48,994 --> 00:33:49,594
Speaker 1: So, whether it's.

704
00:33:49,514 --> 00:33:52,314
Speaker 4: Booking appointments, making appointments.

705
00:33:52,354 --> 00:33:56,074
Speaker 1: What else to be Well, I'll tell you mathematics.

706
00:33:56,114 --> 00:34:02,114
Speaker 3: Maybe I had been listed at the moment taxes, but

707
00:34:02,274 --> 00:34:05,994
Speaker 3: also I've got complicated passport renewals going on, I've got

708
00:34:06,114 --> 00:34:08,394
Speaker 3: car service I need to book. I've got medical appointments

709
00:34:08,393 --> 00:34:11,314
Speaker 3: for things I would still rather go to prison.

710
00:34:11,514 --> 00:34:13,913
Speaker 1: You're not doing those things. You don't do it in

711
00:34:13,953 --> 00:34:19,034
Speaker 1: front of ourself. My friends are doing ad midnight.

712
00:34:20,114 --> 00:34:24,354
Speaker 2: That's what we need. Maybe we need to be imprisoned

713
00:34:25,034 --> 00:34:26,954
Speaker 2: to get all of these things done, because then we

714
00:34:26,994 --> 00:34:29,474
Speaker 2: don't feel like we're messing out on anything. My one

715
00:34:29,514 --> 00:34:34,034
Speaker 2: is claims question mark, like I need to claim.

716
00:34:33,634 --> 00:34:39,594
Speaker 4: But that comes on axes, medicare, Like there's lots of things,

717
00:34:39,714 --> 00:34:40,034
Speaker 4: or like.

718
00:34:40,114 --> 00:34:44,873
Speaker 2: Behave bill, or like get to bottom of email, which

719
00:34:44,914 --> 00:34:47,834
Speaker 2: will never ever happen, like a bunch of just born.

720
00:34:47,914 --> 00:34:50,394
Speaker 2: I like the idea of doing it around people because.

721
00:34:50,154 --> 00:34:52,794
Speaker 4: Then if you have questions for people to ask, Yeah,

722
00:34:53,114 --> 00:34:53,634
Speaker 4: judge me.

723
00:34:53,794 --> 00:34:54,354
Speaker 1: For the first.

724
00:34:55,234 --> 00:34:58,074
Speaker 3: Weren't you talking about renewing that passport last year?

725
00:34:58,314 --> 00:35:01,234
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, it.

726
00:35:01,074 --> 00:35:04,154
Speaker 2: Does feel good. Though I had to renew my license recently,

727
00:35:04,634 --> 00:35:05,953
Speaker 2: and I think it had been ten years.

728
00:35:05,994 --> 00:35:07,834
Speaker 1: I needed a new photo, so.

729
00:35:07,794 --> 00:35:09,834
Speaker 2: I was like this is an insurmountable task I can

730
00:35:09,874 --> 00:35:14,194
Speaker 2: never achieve. Like, I don't see how problem this fits

731
00:35:14,194 --> 00:35:16,593
Speaker 2: into my life. Like all I did was talk about

732
00:35:16,634 --> 00:35:18,754
Speaker 2: how I can't where do I go where?

733
00:35:18,914 --> 00:35:20,794
Speaker 1: And also I look the same. I look the same.

734
00:35:20,834 --> 00:35:22,874
Speaker 2: It's fine and anyway.

735
00:35:22,514 --> 00:35:24,953
Speaker 3: I haven't seen in the twenty sixteen train, I look

736
00:35:25,074 --> 00:35:26,714
Speaker 3: exactly exactly the same.

737
00:35:27,394 --> 00:35:30,513
Speaker 2: I didn't book anything, because booking things that's an admin thing.

738
00:35:30,954 --> 00:35:31,354
Speaker 1: I reckon.

739
00:35:31,394 --> 00:35:34,354
Speaker 2: It took me from my work to go and get

740
00:35:34,354 --> 00:35:37,074
Speaker 2: my license renewed and I test picture. I reckon. It

741
00:35:37,114 --> 00:35:39,674
Speaker 2: took me a total of about twenty two minutes to

742
00:35:39,754 --> 00:35:43,074
Speaker 2: do the entire thing that I had complained about, and

743
00:35:43,114 --> 00:35:44,674
Speaker 2: then I needed to call my mum on the way

744
00:35:44,674 --> 00:35:48,674
Speaker 2: home to let her know. She's so proud that I

745
00:35:48,754 --> 00:35:51,754
Speaker 2: was like, I just want to go. That would worry

746
00:35:51,754 --> 00:35:56,033
Speaker 2: about it on my list until I got pulled over

747
00:35:56,674 --> 00:35:59,873
Speaker 2: and someone said, mate, your license is six months out

748
00:35:59,874 --> 00:36:02,754
Speaker 2: of Okay, who is this child?

749
00:36:02,914 --> 00:36:03,993
Speaker 1: I like her side park.

750
00:36:06,234 --> 00:36:08,274
Speaker 4: It is Friday's so we want to help set up

751
00:36:08,274 --> 00:36:12,514
Speaker 4: your weekend with our very best recommendations, including a super

752
00:36:12,554 --> 00:36:23,033
Speaker 4: old school one for me, vibes, ideas, atmosphere, casual, something fun.

753
00:36:23,594 --> 00:36:25,114
Speaker 4: This is my best recommendation.

754
00:36:26,234 --> 00:36:28,714
Speaker 3: It's Friday, which means it's recommendations.

755
00:36:28,754 --> 00:36:29,354
Speaker 1: I'm going in.

756
00:36:29,554 --> 00:36:31,994
Speaker 3: I'm going in because I hear a rivalry.

757
00:36:32,074 --> 00:36:36,754
Speaker 1: It's not obviously that. Sorry, everybody, everybody is right about that.

758
00:36:38,034 --> 00:36:38,674
Speaker 1: I resisted.

759
00:36:38,834 --> 00:36:40,953
Speaker 2: Did you watch it on your own? Because I'm trying

760
00:36:40,994 --> 00:36:42,514
Speaker 2: to get Luca to watch with me.

761
00:36:43,754 --> 00:36:48,433
Speaker 3: I think I've misunderstood it's a solo pursuit and what

762
00:36:48,554 --> 00:36:50,754
Speaker 3: it became for me. I was like, I'm not watching it.

763
00:36:50,794 --> 00:36:52,593
Speaker 3: I'm not watching it. And then I was like, Okay,

764
00:36:52,634 --> 00:36:53,953
Speaker 3: I gotta watch it because I was going to talk

765
00:36:53,954 --> 00:36:54,114
Speaker 3: to me.

766
00:36:54,154 --> 00:36:56,674
Speaker 1: And I'm about it. Then I was like, oh, all

767
00:36:56,714 --> 00:36:58,314
Speaker 1: I want to do is watch it. So it became

768
00:36:58,354 --> 00:36:59,114
Speaker 1: my treat watch.

769
00:36:59,194 --> 00:37:01,433
Speaker 3: So I gotta said amount of words done, all my

770
00:37:01,514 --> 00:37:03,394
Speaker 3: work done, didn't renew my past.

771
00:37:04,234 --> 00:37:05,674
Speaker 1: I could watch an episode.

772
00:37:06,274 --> 00:37:07,674
Speaker 3: It is as good as they say. That's all I'm

773
00:37:07,674 --> 00:37:09,513
Speaker 3: gonna say about that. Because you've already recorded it, EMM,

774
00:37:09,554 --> 00:37:12,354
Speaker 3: you were early to this trend. What I'm actually recoing

775
00:37:12,434 --> 00:37:16,314
Speaker 3: is something very very very different to heated rivalry, and

776
00:37:16,474 --> 00:37:18,874
Speaker 3: very different from those Netflix shows we were just talking about,

777
00:37:18,994 --> 00:37:21,394
Speaker 3: which is Hamnet, which is an Oscar favorite.

778
00:37:21,434 --> 00:37:23,074
Speaker 1: You've probably heard about it. It's a movie.

779
00:37:23,114 --> 00:37:25,873
Speaker 3: It's in the movie theaters and I went to see

780
00:37:25,874 --> 00:37:29,754
Speaker 3: it on Saturday night and it is one of those

781
00:37:29,794 --> 00:37:30,914
Speaker 3: films two things.

782
00:37:31,034 --> 00:37:31,634
Speaker 1: If you don't know.

783
00:37:31,794 --> 00:37:35,033
Speaker 3: Hamner is based on a book that Maggie O'Farrell, who

784
00:37:35,074 --> 00:37:37,473
Speaker 3: is one of my favorite writers. She's an amazing writer

785
00:37:37,754 --> 00:37:40,354
Speaker 3: wrote in twenty twenty and it became a smash.

786
00:37:40,554 --> 00:37:42,834
Speaker 2: You recommended it and I recommended it at the time.

787
00:37:43,114 --> 00:37:44,034
Speaker 1: Is it a truth story?

788
00:37:44,554 --> 00:37:46,393
Speaker 3: So what it is is the thing is, if Mea

789
00:37:46,474 --> 00:37:47,834
Speaker 3: was here and I started telling what it was about,

790
00:37:47,834 --> 00:37:51,794
Speaker 3: she would immediately go borring. But so you know, stay

791
00:37:51,794 --> 00:37:55,354
Speaker 3: with me, friends. It's a reimagining of Shakespeare's wife, So

792
00:37:55,714 --> 00:37:59,714
Speaker 3: basically Anne Hathaway, anne Hathaway, not that Anne Hathaway who

793
00:37:59,754 --> 00:38:03,634
Speaker 3: suffered her own slings and arrows, that rageous fortune, but

794
00:38:03,714 --> 00:38:08,114
Speaker 3: not her. So popular wisdom goes that Shakespeare was married.

795
00:38:08,194 --> 00:38:10,274
Speaker 3: He married this woman in Stratford, which is where he's from,

796
00:38:10,314 --> 00:38:12,634
Speaker 3: which is kind of in the middlands of England, before

797
00:38:12,634 --> 00:38:14,794
Speaker 3: he became famous, before he became a big deal, And

798
00:38:14,834 --> 00:38:17,234
Speaker 3: the popular wisdom kind of goes, she trapped him by

799
00:38:17,274 --> 00:38:19,274
Speaker 3: having a baby and he had to marry her, and

800
00:38:19,314 --> 00:38:21,074
Speaker 3: she was kind of dumb and illiterate, and then he

801
00:38:21,114 --> 00:38:23,314
Speaker 3: went off to London and became this big, shiny star

802
00:38:23,354 --> 00:38:26,074
Speaker 3: and he was always kind of like anchored to this

803
00:38:26,154 --> 00:38:28,274
Speaker 3: ball and chain of Anne Hathaway. That was kind of

804
00:38:28,314 --> 00:38:30,234
Speaker 3: like for a long time what the story of Shakespeare's

805
00:38:30,274 --> 00:38:33,154
Speaker 3: wife was. If you watch Shakespeare in Love closely, you

806
00:38:33,194 --> 00:38:36,154
Speaker 3: know that amazing rom con that Gwinnie wanted. It's even

807
00:38:36,194 --> 00:38:38,754
Speaker 3: referenced in that that he has a wife somewhere, but

808
00:38:39,354 --> 00:38:40,754
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, it's problem.

809
00:38:41,194 --> 00:38:42,754
Speaker 1: So Maggie O'Farrell, and she wasn't the first.

810
00:38:42,754 --> 00:38:45,834
Speaker 3: I think Jermaine Greer also did this, like nobody really

811
00:38:45,874 --> 00:38:49,634
Speaker 3: knows what was going on there, but reimagined the story

812
00:38:49,794 --> 00:38:52,314
Speaker 3: that Anne Hathaway, who in her book is called Agnes.

813
00:38:52,754 --> 00:38:55,474
Speaker 3: Actually it's a real love match. Like she's a really

814
00:38:55,514 --> 00:38:58,954
Speaker 3: interesting woman. She's a bit of a witchy, natury, witchy woman.

815
00:38:59,434 --> 00:39:01,114
Speaker 3: It was a real love match and they were very

816
00:39:01,114 --> 00:39:04,513
Speaker 3: passionate about each other and their family. But she really

817
00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:07,393
Speaker 3: understood his ambition and he had this controlling father, so

818
00:39:07,434 --> 00:39:08,913
Speaker 3: she was like, you go off to London and do

819
00:39:08,994 --> 00:39:10,794
Speaker 3: your thing and send for us one day and then

820
00:39:10,994 --> 00:39:14,234
Speaker 3: didn't happen. But anyway, Hamnah is kind of about that.

821
00:39:14,274 --> 00:39:16,953
Speaker 3: But the reason everybody will say it's devastating, it's all

822
00:39:16,954 --> 00:39:18,554
Speaker 3: those things is because and I don't think this is

823
00:39:18,554 --> 00:39:21,393
Speaker 3: a spoiler, because it is. The whole premise of the

824
00:39:21,434 --> 00:39:24,354
Speaker 3: book is that they have a son who dies. And

825
00:39:25,034 --> 00:39:27,674
Speaker 3: this movie is so beautifully made. It's directed by a

826
00:39:27,674 --> 00:39:30,913
Speaker 3: woman called Chloe Joo. She made No Madland, which was

827
00:39:30,954 --> 00:39:34,274
Speaker 3: that sort of very beautiful, ponderous movie where Francis McDorman

828
00:39:34,394 --> 00:39:36,314
Speaker 3: is working in the Amazon factory and travels around blah

829
00:39:36,314 --> 00:39:38,553
Speaker 3: blah blah. Award for that, yeah, and then she went

830
00:39:38,634 --> 00:39:41,834
Speaker 3: Marvels and did the Eternals with Angelina Jolie. But this

831
00:39:41,994 --> 00:39:43,913
Speaker 3: is kind of a bit of a return to more

832
00:39:43,914 --> 00:39:47,234
Speaker 3: of the award bait stuff. It stars Paul Muscal and

833
00:39:47,474 --> 00:39:49,794
Speaker 3: Jesse Buckley, who I didn't really know about, but she

834
00:39:49,914 --> 00:39:52,634
Speaker 3: won the Golden Globe. This is her film. She is

835
00:39:52,674 --> 00:39:57,354
Speaker 3: in every scene. It is absolutely extraordinary and it's such

836
00:39:57,394 --> 00:39:59,474
Speaker 3: a beautiful film, and it's one of those films that

837
00:39:59,514 --> 00:40:03,194
Speaker 3: by the end you're like, every bit of you is like, well,

838
00:40:03,234 --> 00:40:05,314
Speaker 3: for a start, you're devastated. So don't go and see

839
00:40:05,314 --> 00:40:08,594
Speaker 3: this if you're feeling really fred, if you're suffering with grief,

840
00:40:08,674 --> 00:40:09,834
Speaker 3: unless you really need a.

841
00:40:09,754 --> 00:40:12,794
Speaker 1: Big sob I was sobbing.

842
00:40:12,794 --> 00:40:14,433
Speaker 3: I think the lights came up and Brent was like,

843
00:40:14,754 --> 00:40:16,674
Speaker 3: I think he thought something really bad.

844
00:40:17,754 --> 00:40:22,194
Speaker 1: But it is so good. It's so beautiful, it's so beautifully.

845
00:40:21,714 --> 00:40:23,553
Speaker 3: Made, it so beautifully done, and it's one of those

846
00:40:23,954 --> 00:40:27,754
Speaker 3: pieces of art that just makes you feel like art

847
00:40:27,954 --> 00:40:28,754
Speaker 3: has that power.

848
00:40:28,794 --> 00:40:29,994
Speaker 1: You know, he just has that power.

849
00:40:30,034 --> 00:40:32,754
Speaker 3: And that's actually what it's about in a way, because

850
00:40:32,794 --> 00:40:34,954
Speaker 3: it comes back around to the fact that Shakespeare obviously

851
00:40:35,074 --> 00:40:36,754
Speaker 3: very famously wrote a play called Hamlet.

852
00:40:36,794 --> 00:40:40,514
Speaker 1: Was it about Hamlet? A bit? Anyway? Beautifully?

853
00:40:40,554 --> 00:40:42,674
Speaker 3: I couldn't recommend it enough. I'm not sure if you

854
00:40:42,714 --> 00:40:45,114
Speaker 3: should see it, Jesse, because she is pregnant with twins.

855
00:40:45,154 --> 00:40:48,474
Speaker 3: It's not that great. There's a lot of very visceral

856
00:40:48,754 --> 00:40:52,954
Speaker 3: mother stuff in this, a lot of very visceral birth stuff,

857
00:40:52,994 --> 00:40:55,433
Speaker 3: a lot of very visceral stuff about losing children. Like

858
00:40:55,474 --> 00:40:58,154
Speaker 3: it's not easy going, but it is so worth it.

859
00:40:58,234 --> 00:40:58,954
Speaker 3: Loved it, loved it.

860
00:40:58,994 --> 00:41:00,873
Speaker 1: I hope that Jesse Buckley wins.

861
00:41:00,914 --> 00:41:04,274
Speaker 3: All the warnings. Oh and Joe Alwin's in it, Taylor's

862
00:41:04,274 --> 00:41:06,714
Speaker 3: ress ex boyfriend, who I just feel sorry for that

863
00:41:06,754 --> 00:41:09,714
Speaker 3: guy because he's just forever Taylor swift sex boyfriend right,

864
00:41:10,034 --> 00:41:12,954
Speaker 3: and there he is in his Oscar Worthy movie plodding around.

865
00:41:13,074 --> 00:41:14,953
Speaker 4: He's fine.

866
00:41:15,114 --> 00:41:16,913
Speaker 1: Anyway, I've talked enough, but haven't it.

867
00:41:17,434 --> 00:41:21,513
Speaker 2: I have a recommendation that is not as high brow

868
00:41:21,674 --> 00:41:26,194
Speaker 2: because yours. It is just broadly underpants. And let me explain,

869
00:41:27,114 --> 00:41:29,034
Speaker 2: you know how. My word of the year is grace,

870
00:41:29,514 --> 00:41:32,714
Speaker 2: and it's just like going a bit easy on yourself,

871
00:41:32,954 --> 00:41:36,993
Speaker 2: just small winds. Very biblical, just yeah, very biblical. Every

872
00:41:36,994 --> 00:41:38,594
Speaker 2: time I put he you know, when you've got your

873
00:41:38,634 --> 00:41:40,434
Speaker 2: underpants that like dig into your hips and at the

874
00:41:40,474 --> 00:41:42,034
Speaker 2: end of the day it's uncomfortable and then you get

875
00:41:42,074 --> 00:41:45,554
Speaker 2: those lines, you get those lines or like you feel.

876
00:41:45,634 --> 00:41:47,474
Speaker 2: I was even at night going and I guess my

877
00:41:47,554 --> 00:41:50,354
Speaker 2: hips have gotten bigger anyway. But also every time I

878
00:41:50,394 --> 00:41:53,234
Speaker 2: went to get undies, I was like sifting through. So

879
00:41:53,394 --> 00:41:55,114
Speaker 2: I had like seven pairs and most of them had

880
00:41:55,154 --> 00:41:58,074
Speaker 2: holes in them. Anyway, I went, I think you're allowed

881
00:41:58,074 --> 00:42:01,274
Speaker 2: to buy some new underpants from Kmart.

882
00:42:01,234 --> 00:42:03,674
Speaker 3: Even though I think that's got to be an exception

883
00:42:03,714 --> 00:42:06,634
Speaker 3: in your yes little not buying things exactly.

884
00:42:06,674 --> 00:42:08,634
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm getting my underpants from deep Hop. That's

885
00:42:08,634 --> 00:42:12,594
Speaker 2: probably my line. So I go to Kama I got anko.

886
00:42:12,754 --> 00:42:15,994
Speaker 2: I think they're bamboo blend three pack for twelve dollars.

887
00:42:16,154 --> 00:42:20,954
Speaker 2: Seem free when upper size. No harm in getting undies

888
00:42:21,114 --> 00:42:21,994
Speaker 2: that are upper sides.

889
00:42:22,234 --> 00:42:23,834
Speaker 1: I only ever buy on these uppersides.

890
00:42:23,954 --> 00:42:27,354
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've got to you just got everything in. And

891
00:42:27,394 --> 00:42:29,634
Speaker 2: then I also went, you know what, you need more

892
00:42:29,674 --> 00:42:31,674
Speaker 2: socks because so many of your socks have holes in

893
00:42:31,714 --> 00:42:34,953
Speaker 2: it because my dog eats them. And now I look

894
00:42:34,994 --> 00:42:37,874
Speaker 2: at my draw and it makes me think of Luca

895
00:42:37,914 --> 00:42:40,114
Speaker 2: has a mantra which is kais in Have you.

896
00:42:40,074 --> 00:42:42,314
Speaker 1: Ever heard of this word? No, what's that?

897
00:42:42,874 --> 00:42:44,714
Speaker 2: It's a Japanese philosophy and people are going to be

898
00:42:44,754 --> 00:42:47,033
Speaker 2: horrified that I'm using it in this context. But it's

899
00:42:47,034 --> 00:42:49,634
Speaker 2: all about one percent improvements. So I was like, how

900
00:42:49,634 --> 00:42:53,114
Speaker 2: can I make my life one percent better today? Yeah?

901
00:42:53,114 --> 00:42:55,234
Speaker 2: He says kais and a lot as a passive aggressive

902
00:42:55,274 --> 00:42:58,674
Speaker 2: tool to be like put the butter back in the

903
00:42:58,714 --> 00:43:02,034
Speaker 2: fridge or something. But it's about marginal gains and this

904
00:43:02,194 --> 00:43:04,473
Speaker 2: is like, I reckon, I feel one percent better every

905
00:43:04,514 --> 00:43:06,914
Speaker 2: day because I've got my comfy underpants.

906
00:43:07,274 --> 00:43:10,274
Speaker 3: Something witchy about this, Jesse, because I did exactly the

907
00:43:10,314 --> 00:43:12,953
Speaker 3: same thing on the weekend. I remember a few years ago.

908
00:43:12,994 --> 00:43:15,834
Speaker 3: I said on this show that one day I just

909
00:43:15,914 --> 00:43:19,274
Speaker 3: threw away all my nickers, and I expected to get

910
00:43:19,274 --> 00:43:21,634
Speaker 3: a lot of pushback on that because wasteful, but actually

911
00:43:21,714 --> 00:43:24,314
Speaker 3: everyone was like, yes, because the thing is and I

912
00:43:24,314 --> 00:43:26,634
Speaker 3: don't want to make myself sound gross or anything, but

913
00:43:26,754 --> 00:43:29,154
Speaker 3: there's a certain percentage of your underwear.

914
00:43:29,274 --> 00:43:30,873
Speaker 2: Is like, it doesn't make me feel good.

915
00:43:31,074 --> 00:43:33,913
Speaker 3: It's got holes, it's got these shreads, it's not you know,

916
00:43:33,954 --> 00:43:36,873
Speaker 3: it's just not good anymore. Like there's a lifespan, right, yes,

917
00:43:37,354 --> 00:43:39,634
Speaker 3: And I would be the same rummaging run. And so

918
00:43:39,714 --> 00:43:42,154
Speaker 3: I did that again just this past weekend. We were

919
00:43:42,154 --> 00:43:47,514
Speaker 3: probably at different different I'm jealous, and I threw away

920
00:43:47,754 --> 00:43:50,834
Speaker 3: all my yucky knickers and I bought all new exactly

921
00:43:50,874 --> 00:43:53,114
Speaker 3: the same, big black cotton nickers a size.

922
00:43:53,234 --> 00:43:54,674
Speaker 4: Any sexy pieces in there.

923
00:43:54,514 --> 00:43:57,754
Speaker 3: Well, it's unfortunately, see single people always say this. My

924
00:43:57,834 --> 00:44:01,114
Speaker 3: friend said to me, by self sexy and just for yourself,

925
00:44:01,434 --> 00:44:03,393
Speaker 3: And well I might, but I was like, that's not

926
00:44:03,474 --> 00:44:04,554
Speaker 3: the priority of this shop.

927
00:44:05,074 --> 00:44:05,154
Speaker 5: Now.

928
00:44:05,234 --> 00:44:10,234
Speaker 3: This shop is about volume, yep, economy and just general

929
00:44:10,274 --> 00:44:12,634
Speaker 3: improvements of comfort. So you and I both had a

930
00:44:12,714 --> 00:44:14,194
Speaker 3: nicker purge on the weekend we did.

931
00:44:14,314 --> 00:44:16,634
Speaker 2: I picked up one that I discovered was a jay

932
00:44:16,634 --> 00:44:17,993
Speaker 2: string and I went, oh no, there's been.

933
00:44:17,914 --> 00:44:19,834
Speaker 1: An no no, no, no, that's.

934
00:44:19,674 --> 00:44:20,474
Speaker 4: Not what I want.

935
00:44:20,234 --> 00:44:20,594
Speaker 3: I know what.

936
00:44:20,674 --> 00:44:22,274
Speaker 2: We're a big boileg at the back.

937
00:44:22,394 --> 00:44:23,513
Speaker 1: That's a different thing.

938
00:44:23,834 --> 00:44:26,433
Speaker 3: Actually, I would love recommendations I should ask you for.

939
00:44:26,554 --> 00:44:29,913
Speaker 3: Like when I say sexy, I don't mean sexy, but.

940
00:44:29,874 --> 00:44:32,754
Speaker 1: I become fun but nice looking.

941
00:44:33,194 --> 00:44:35,274
Speaker 4: I actually do have some round that might be my

942
00:44:35,314 --> 00:44:36,314
Speaker 4: record next week.

943
00:44:36,154 --> 00:44:39,914
Speaker 3: Because I quite want colorful, nice undies too, like brass

944
00:44:39,954 --> 00:44:40,274
Speaker 3: and stuff.

945
00:44:40,554 --> 00:44:41,794
Speaker 1: This is exciting project for me.

946
00:44:42,074 --> 00:44:45,393
Speaker 4: I have what's your reco Okay, a bit different from

947
00:44:45,394 --> 00:44:48,834
Speaker 4: both of yours. I really wanted something to binge like,

948
00:44:48,874 --> 00:44:50,834
Speaker 4: I really wanted to show that's been going on for

949
00:44:50,874 --> 00:44:52,393
Speaker 4: a while that a lot of people like that. I

950
00:44:52,394 --> 00:44:55,114
Speaker 4: can just binge and just have on in the background

951
00:44:55,114 --> 00:44:56,674
Speaker 4: so I can also look at my friend while I'm

952
00:44:56,674 --> 00:45:00,593
Speaker 4: watching it. And I came across taken screen for sure.

953
00:45:00,794 --> 00:45:04,834
Speaker 4: I came across Chicago Fire on Disney Plus.

954
00:45:04,874 --> 00:45:05,994
Speaker 2: What's the premise?

955
00:45:06,154 --> 00:45:09,714
Speaker 4: Okay, so the premier is this group of firefighters they

956
00:45:09,834 --> 00:45:11,514
Speaker 4: put out fires in Chicago.

957
00:45:12,074 --> 00:45:13,513
Speaker 1: Okay, that's it. That's it.

958
00:45:13,594 --> 00:45:14,393
Speaker 4: That's literally it.

959
00:45:14,514 --> 00:45:16,554
Speaker 1: Are they sexy five fighter? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, they

960
00:45:16,594 --> 00:45:17,594
Speaker 1: have to be. Yeah.

961
00:45:17,634 --> 00:45:21,994
Speaker 4: It stars Jesse Spencer, who is Australian actor. He played

962
00:45:22,074 --> 00:45:25,314
Speaker 4: Chase in House Yep. It also stars Taylor Kinney. You

963
00:45:25,314 --> 00:45:29,074
Speaker 4: would know him as Lady Gaga's ex fiance. It also

964
00:45:29,194 --> 00:45:31,594
Speaker 4: stars Steve from Sex in the City.

965
00:45:31,874 --> 00:45:33,554
Speaker 1: Oh Wow, Okay, come in.

966
00:45:33,714 --> 00:45:35,473
Speaker 4: So it's one of those shows where more people would

967
00:45:35,434 --> 00:45:36,754
Speaker 4: come on and be like, WHOA, I didn't know you

968
00:45:36,794 --> 00:45:36,994
Speaker 4: in this.

969
00:45:37,074 --> 00:45:38,913
Speaker 2: I feel like it could be a sequel to Sex

970
00:45:38,914 --> 00:45:41,234
Speaker 2: in the City. But like Steve's.

971
00:45:40,674 --> 00:45:43,594
Speaker 4: Second job when he's playing basketball.

972
00:45:43,194 --> 00:45:45,794
Speaker 2: Off, I could see him becoming a firefighter.

973
00:45:46,674 --> 00:45:49,554
Speaker 4: So hot in it, we all have like abs and

974
00:45:49,554 --> 00:45:50,913
Speaker 4: they're all really hard, and they're all.

975
00:45:50,834 --> 00:45:52,913
Speaker 2: Like and do they always get the fire out?

976
00:45:53,354 --> 00:45:54,033
Speaker 1: Always?

977
00:45:54,034 --> 00:45:56,513
Speaker 4: They always get the fire out. They're also like doing

978
00:45:56,514 --> 00:45:58,114
Speaker 4: some investigations with the police.

979
00:45:58,154 --> 00:45:58,994
Speaker 1: I didn't know they could do that.

980
00:45:59,594 --> 00:46:03,394
Speaker 4: They're always healing people. It's just so easy to watch.

981
00:46:03,514 --> 00:46:05,234
Speaker 4: It started in twenty twelve.

982
00:46:05,754 --> 00:46:08,554
Speaker 1: I'm on season two. It's still goes We'll throw back. Yeah.

983
00:46:08,834 --> 00:46:10,594
Speaker 4: Season is coming out later this year, so I think

984
00:46:10,594 --> 00:46:11,634
Speaker 4: there's like eighteen seasons.

985
00:46:11,634 --> 00:46:12,754
Speaker 1: Soless.

986
00:46:12,954 --> 00:46:13,914
Speaker 3: It's so good.

987
00:46:14,234 --> 00:46:18,714
Speaker 4: It feels like Criminal minds. Eh, that's fun, Big steaks.

988
00:46:18,794 --> 00:46:20,794
Speaker 3: But you know what, I think there are going to

989
00:46:20,834 --> 00:46:24,674
Speaker 3: be out louders who are like, welcome em cargo fire.

990
00:46:25,274 --> 00:46:27,194
Speaker 4: Every time I talk to someone about this, they're like,

991
00:46:27,234 --> 00:46:31,514
Speaker 4: oh my mom watches that shirt. I'm like, okay, it's soothing.

992
00:46:31,674 --> 00:46:32,234
Speaker 1: I love it.

993
00:46:32,794 --> 00:46:35,034
Speaker 3: If you want to know or what our recommendations are,

994
00:46:35,274 --> 00:46:37,473
Speaker 3: if you've forgotten what we've said already and what they

995
00:46:37,474 --> 00:46:39,393
Speaker 3: always are, they're always in the newsletter. By the way,

996
00:46:39,474 --> 00:46:41,154
Speaker 3: if you need a reason to sign up to the

997
00:46:41,234 --> 00:46:43,714
Speaker 3: mom Mia out Loud newsletter, which is often called Holly

998
00:46:43,754 --> 00:46:45,194
Speaker 3: out Loud because I write a thing in there.

999
00:46:45,394 --> 00:46:47,234
Speaker 1: It has the recommendations in it. Do that. There's a

1000
00:46:47,234 --> 00:46:48,074
Speaker 1: link in the show notes.

1001
00:46:48,714 --> 00:46:50,553
Speaker 3: That is all we have time for this week.

1002
00:46:50,594 --> 00:46:51,473
Speaker 1: It's been a big week.

1003
00:46:51,794 --> 00:46:54,074
Speaker 2: It has a big thank you to our team group

1004
00:46:54,194 --> 00:46:58,473
Speaker 2: executive producer Reef to Fine, executive producer Sasha Tanic.

1005
00:46:58,474 --> 00:47:02,154
Speaker 4: Our senior audio producer is Leah Porge's video producer is

1006
00:47:02,234 --> 00:47:05,314
Speaker 4: Josh Green, and our junior content producer is Tessa Kodovich.

1007
00:47:05,754 --> 00:47:07,354
Speaker 1: Bye Bye Bye Bye.

1008
00:47:11,114 --> 00:47:14,034
Speaker 3: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on

1009
00:47:14,074 --> 00:47:15,873
Speaker 3: which we've recorded this podcast.